The Lives and Deaths of Commander Shepard
by MosaicCreme
Summary: The essence that is Commander Shepard has fought the battle against the Reapers more times than she can count, only to find herself right back where it all started. Never the exact same body, never the same first name or history. The disembodied voice struggles to break her way through to the consciousness of her current incarnation, trying to find a way to break her own cycle.
1. Prologue: Not Again Oh Gods No, Please

**A/N:** Some of you have expressed a distaste for the first portion of the first part of the story because it basically a retelling of the game. Some of you have stuck with it enough to know that things change, as the story progresses. I want to assure any new readers that the beginning is intended to mirror the game as much as possible to allude to the idea that 'things never change'. However, I promise you, things do indeed change! So, if you can stick with it I hope you find you enjoy the story I have to tell about Commander Shepard.

(Although this seems obvious, a lot of people seem to make a disclaimer so: I don't own any of the original content, those belong to BioWare. I'm just writing my version of their story.)

 **Prologue: Not Again. Oh Gods No, Please. Not Again.**

 _My name is Commander Shepard. I've been called by many first names; I can't even remember them all but that part always stays the same: Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy, Council Spectre. I don't know how I got here, not really, even though I've lived through it countless times. Maybe Cerberus did something more to me when they brought me back from the dead the first time without even realizing it themselves. Hell, maybe Cerberus never did bring me back from the dead and this has all been some sort of fever dream in the last few moments of consciousness as my body floats off into space; the last feeble attempts of a fallible human mind trying desperately to hold onto life… any life. Maybe I am indoctrinated and this is just the Reapers' way of beating me into submission._

 _I never look the same, although I am always human. My voice stays the same… well except for the times I am man. That is always interesting… I don't know where I am as I tell you this; I suppose I am wherever I go in the times in between. It's so familiar yet somehow all so foreign. Nothing is as it seems. I had hoped… I had hoped so desperately that the last time was going to be the end that I wouldn't wake up again. I'm so tired. So, very, very tired…_

Lean, well defined muscles bulged in tension as Dawn tossed in her bed. Her sleep is rarely peaceful, too many memories to haunt her dreams at night. Too much loss; too much blood on her hands. The blanket had been kicked off, abandoned to the floor sometime in the night and a pillow laid half way to joining the blanket, barely still balanced on the edge of the bed. The sheet had wrapped itself around her body like a serpent preparing to constrict. The cuff on her wrist suddenly sprung to life, the glow a harsh and demanding orange, it emitted a high pitched beep. _Not again. Oh gods no, please. Not again…_

Dawn bolted upright in the bed, her palms splayed out behind her supporting her weight. Her violet eyes frantically darted about, seeking familiarity as the last vestiges of a nightmare faded from her mind. _Mindoir… always the same dream when I'm from Mindoir, so much death… Everything gone, everyone gone._ Taking a deep breath and pushing her sweaty hair back out of her face, Dawn slid her legs over the edge of the bed.

"Yeah, yeah, OK. I hear you. I'm awake," she said to her omni-tool as she ran her fingers over the orange display, silencing the alarm.

The cuff stopped glowing. Dawn cradled her face in her hands for a moment before running both hands through her unassuming, black, bob cut hair. Standing, she hit the glowing green button near the window before making some adjustments to it with her omni-tool. The opaque glass began to clear, letting in the faintest hints of streetlights and neon signs coming from the surrounding buildings. It was still dark outside, so she tapped the omni-tool again, stopping the window from clearing completely and instead leaving it only translucent. Stripping off her sweat soaked tank top she laid it on a counter before doing the same with her panties. In the bathroom she turned on a light, flinching from the sudden glare she adjusted the setting to dim.

"Damn hotels, always the same. Think they need to have all the light settings turned up as far as they can go. Who wants to deal with that first thing in the morning?" Dawn said.

Leaning forward over the sink she looked at herself closely in the mirror. She studied her face, finding it looked just the same as it did the night before. Silently she questioned herself as to why she would expect it might be different, wondering if she might be going insane. She is completely oblivious to the voice in her head that responds. _Because it IS different! It is always fucking different! You can't hear me though, that never changes._ Pushing herself away from the counter, she turned to the shower and adjusted the temperature so that the room quickly filled with steam. _As hot as you can stand it, and then just a little hotter. That doesn't change either._ Dawn stepped into the shower, the heat turning her pale skin an angry shade of red instantly. She hissed softly and then groaned as the tension in her neck and back began to ease.

"Excuse me? Can you tell me where the SSV Normandy SR-1 is docked?" Dawn, now dressed in her armor and armed to the teeth asked the Air Traffic Control Specialist behind the counter.

The severe looking woman eyed her for a moment before waving her omni-tool in front of Dawn, scanning her. The omni-tool flashed and the ATC Specialist reviewed the information the orange screen supplied.

"Commander Shepard, yes, one moment please. Captain Anderson has left orders for someone to escort you to the ship," the ATC specialist said as she typed something into her computer.

Nodding her head, Dawn stepped away from the desk and waited with her arms crossed in front of her. A disgruntled sigh escaped her lips, "Yep, that's it. Commander Shepard. Shore leave is over. Goodbye Dawn, hello Commander Shepard."

A few minutes later a skycar settled down in front of her. The doors lifted up and out, opening to reveal an eager looking young man with olive skin and close cropped black hair. He rushed out of the skycar and around to Commander Shepard. His body rigid, his hand at his brow in salute and she was already bored. The markings on his uniform told her that he was a Petty Officer, Third Class and very low on her list of people she should give a shit about. Shepard nodded her head at the man, acknowledging his salute before climbing in to the vehicle. The man's mouth snapped closed, he was just about to formally introduce himself but evidently the Commander did not have time for such formalities. Rushing back to the driver's side, the man climbed in and pushed a few buttons on the console. The doors closed themselves and the vehicle lifted into the air.

Waving off the Petty Officer's attempts to help her with her gear, Shepard stopped a moment to take in the sight of the SSV Normandy SR-1. A beautiful, sleek frigate; the Normandy was one of a kind designed by the cooperative effort of turian and human engineers. Of course, this made a lot of humans uneasy. Hell, it probably made a lot of turians uneasy. Even though the First Contact War was technically over thirty years ago, both species remained wary of one another. _But not me, never me, not really. Not once I meet Garrus… Oh Garrus, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry._ Shepard didn't really care one way or another about alien-human politics, the way she saw it, assholes came in all shapes and sizes. Still, she knew enough about how easily things can go south if the wrong thing is said at the wrong time to make her just a little more careful when dealing with aliens. Okay, so maybe she still had some deeply held prejudice against batarians, but to be fair the four-eyed sons-of-bitches had killed – or worse, enslaved everyone she knew and loved on Mindoir when she was a child. If that Alliance patrol hadn't showed up when they had, Shepard likely wouldn't have made it out of that colony alive. That's a hard thing to forgive and forget, but still, she was able to reign in her rage when her work called for her to interact with the hated species. Still, she was no diplomat and thank whatever gods for that.

She made her way to the dock and crossed over to the ship's door, shrugging her shoulders and rolling her head around to loosen her muscles further while the ship's decontamination activated. For some reason, today she found the computerized voice announcing "decontamination in progress" to be especially annoying. Maybe it was the hangover. Perhaps it was just knowing that she was back on the clock and hadn't been given any real intel on what it was she was being called in to do. She hated that. _Always hated that._ Finally, the door slid open allowing Shepard to enter.

Making her way into the ship, she stopped to salute when approached by Captain David Anderson. She was always fond of Anderson, the older man being one of the rare few people in the Alliance that she felt she had actually allowed herself to get to know on a personal level. She studied his face as they both held the salute far longer than actually necessary, a show of the profound respect they had for one another. His russet skin was beginning to crease around his eyes, and she was seeing a lightening to his deep brown hair. Anderson was the first to break, a grin spreading across his mouth as he dropped his hand and chuckled.

"Get over here, Shepard. It's good to see you. How have you been?"

Shepard returned the grin and welcomed the man's brief embrace when he pulled her in, patting him on the back.

"I've been good, Anderson. You?" she asked.

"Good. Good. Welcome aboard, I'll show you around and get you briefed. Make the introductions," he glanced back over his shoulder towards the cockpit, "Joker! Commander Shepard's on board, get us out of here!"

"Aye, aye, Captain," a man's voice said over the intercom system, presumably 'Joker'.

Putting a hand on Shepard's arm, Anderson gestured to the walkway that led to the CIC. Men and women were lined on either side, seated at terminals facing away from her. She allowed Anderson to lead her, as they approached the CIC a few of the people stationed around the oblong ring looked up from their various consoles to salute as they passed. Shepard didn't pay them much mind, nodding absently as she went. Hovering above their heads was the bluish-white holographic spread of the Milky Way on the galaxy map, accessible only to the Captain of the ship from the raised command platform. The walkway split as it circled around the ringed table, ending at a door with SR-1 written on either side. A partition stood behind the galaxy map with the ship's name. Anderson led her to a middle aged man, mostly balding with just a horseshoe of gray hair cropped close around his head. She always found it interesting when a man's facial hair kept its color long after the hair on his head faded.

"Navigator Pressly," Anderson said indicating the man and pausing long enough for salutes before moving Shepard along.

He introduced her just as briefly to Dr. Chakwas and Corporal Jenkins as they passed the partition. Shepard couldn't help but to smile, apparently he hadn't forgotten her distaste for small talk with strangers. There would be time to get to know everyone later. Behind the partition was the door that led to the comm room. The other two doors both lead stairs that wrapped around to meet up in front of the elevator on the deck below. This deck held the captain's cabin, the mess hall, med bay, sleeper pods, and the main battery. The elevator, so she soon learned on their brisk tour, lead down to engineering and storage, it also served as the garage for the M35 Mako.

Shepard's muscles began to tense when she spotted the turian Anderson called Nihlus Kryik for the third time. It seemed like he was following her around. _Nihlus, you son of a bitch. This is all your fault, it all started with you. You put my name forward as a Spectre candidate. I never would have been anywhere near that damn prothean beacon if it weren't for you. Still… how much worse would things be if it were someone else' name?_ She watched him warily out of the corner of her eye as she followed Anderson, Nihlus didn't try to hide the fact that he was watching her. Maybe he was just interested in her history, in Akuze; everyone else seems to be.

Her eyes followed the turian with the sepia and white face paint, committing the pattern to memory. She didn't know a lot about turians, but still probably more about them than any of the other alien races. She knew enough to know that the markings were representative of his family's original colony. Turians still painted their metal fused faces with their colony crest even though the Unification War had effectively ended social and political segregation of the turians. She could use it, along with his name to learn more about him later.

"We should be nearing the Mass Relay, why don't you go introduce yourself to Joker and Alenko. I think Spectre Kryik is in there, too. You'll want to see us hit the relay, don't care how many times you've seen it before; it's a wonder that never gets old. I'll head to the debriefing room and when you're done you can meet me there for the briefing," Anderson said once they had reached the command deck again.

"Spectre? Why have we got a Spectre aboard, I thought this was a shakedown?" Shepard asked with a raised brow.

"I'll explain it all in the briefing, Shepard," Anderson said.

Just then Joker's voice came over the intercom, "The Arcturus Prime relay is in range. Initiating transmission sequence."

Shepard nodded at Anderson, leaving him by the debriefing room door as she made her way towards the cockpit.

"We are connected. Calculating transit mass and destination," continued Joker's voice as Shepard moved around Navigator Pressly and towards the walkway.

"The relay is hot. Acquiring approach vector," pausing between statements Joker continued, "All stations secure for transit. The board is green. Approach run has begun."

Shepard stepped around a man with his back to her, putting a hand out towards him in apology as she maneuvered past him. The turian stood just between the pilot and copilot, his arms crossed over the chest of his red and black armor, looking out at the relay. _Nihlus…_ Shepard paused just behind him to watch as the ship barreled towards the enormous structure with its intimidatingly giant mass effect core and spinning rings. Just before it seemed certain that they would crash into the relay, Joker maneuvered the ship around so that it was moving parallel.

"Hitting the relay in three… two…," a stream of mass energy shot out of the relay and caught a hold of the ship whipping it forward into space just as Joker said, "one."

Shepard watched Nihlus as he commented on Joker's flight skills and walked away to find Captain Anderson. As soon as he was gone, Joker and Alenko began discussing Nihlus – primarily Joker's distaste for the Spectre. _Joker! It's always good to see you! I'd die for you man, ha! Just wait, the punchline for that one will come later. And Kaidan… Lieutenant Alenko… I wonder which of you I'll let die this time. I hope it's that xenophobic bitch, Williams, and not you. Although, gods I hope I don't have to suffer being in a relationship with you again. I've got to tell you, Kaidan, you are far too soft around the edges for me. I've never before met such an emotional man. I don't know how I ever did it… twice. At least the second time I gave up on it after you went all superior asshole on me. The first time, though? Nope, I had to forgive and forget, got right back with you, didn't I?_ Joker was right though, something else was going on here. It didn't make any sense for a Spectre to be aboard for a simple shakedown run even if the council did help fund the ship's creation and she said as much to the two men before Anderson broke through on the intercom requesting Shepard in the debriefing room.

Shepard entered the debriefing room and immediately tensed, Anderson wasn't there but Nihlus was. He should have already been there. Cautiously, Shepard approached Nihlus. The Spectre turned when he heard her footsteps; she wasn't sure why but this turian really made her uncomfortable. _Because it's all his goddamn fault! You know shit is about to go south, you can feel it. You always feel it, and you know it starts here and now with this conversation. Yeah, yeah, OK, Nihlus isn't a bad guy, I know but son-of-a-bitch if he isn't about to open the floodgates and leave you to clean up the mess!_

"Commander Shepard. I was hoping you'd get here first. It will give us a chance to talk," Nihlus said as he crossed his arms.

"The Captain said he'd meet me here," she said, narrowing her eyes.

Nihlus nodded once and then began to pace, "He's on his way. I'm interested in this world we're going to; Eden Prime. I've heard it's quite beautiful."

"They say it's a paradise," Shepard responded simply, unwilling to give more than Nihlus did in the 'talk' they were having.

"Yes… a paradise. Serene. Tranquil. Safe. Eden Prime has become something of a symbol for your people, hasn't it?" The Spectre came to a stop in front of Shepard once more, "Proof that humanity can not only establish colonies across the galaxy, but also protect them. But how safe is it, really?"

"Do you know something?" Shepard asked stepping towards the turian.

"Your people are still newcomers, Shepard. The galaxy can be a very dangerous place. Is the Alliance truly ready for this?" Nihlus asked.

Anderson finally entered, "I think it's about time we told the commander what's really going on."

"This mission is far more than a simple shakedown run," Nihlus spoke while closing the distance between Shepard and Anderson.

"I figured there was something you weren't telling us," she said looking at Anderson.

"We're making a covert pick up on Eden Prime. That's why we needed the stealth systems operational," Anderson confided.

"There must be a reason you didn't tell me about this, sir?" Shepard prodded.

"This comes down from the top, Commander. Information strictly on a need to know basis. A research team on Eden Prime unearthed some kind of beacon during an evacuation. It was prothean."

"What else can you tell me?" Shepard asked.

"This is big, Shepard. The last time humanity made a discovery like this, it jumped our technology forward two hundred years. But Eden Prime doesn't have the facilities to handle something like this. We need to bring the beacon back to the Citadel for proper study," Anderson stressed.

"Obviously this goes beyond mere human interests, Commander. This discovery could affect every species in Council space," Nihlus spoke up.

"It never hurts to have a few extra hands on board," Shepard said nodding to Nihlus, doing her best to play nice.

"The beacon's not the only reason I'm here, Shepard," Nihlus began.

"Nihlus wants to see you in action, Commander. He's here to evaluate you," said Anderson.

"Guess that explains why I bump into him every time I turn around," Shepard quipped.

"The Alliance has been pushing for this for a long time. Humanity wants a larger role in shaping interstellar policy. We want more say with the Citadel Council. The Spectres represent the Council's power and authority. If they accept a human into their ranks, it shows how far the Alliance has come," Anderson said putting a fist down into his open palm, showing how passionate he was about the topic.

"Not many could have survived what you went through on Akuze. You showed a remarkable will to live – a particularly useful talent. That's why I put your name forward as a candidate for the Spectres," the turian said.

"Why would a turian want a human in the Spectres?" Shepard asked, unease crept in as Nihlus spoke.

"Not all turians resent humanity. Some of us see the potential of your species. We see what you have to offer to the rest of the galaxy… and to the Spectres. We are an elite group. It's rare to find an individual with the skills we seek. I don't care that you're human, Shepard. I only care that you can do the job," Nihlus asserted.

"I assume this is good for the Alliance?" Shepard asked looking back to Anderson.

"Earth needs this, Shepard. We're counting on you," Anderson responded.

"I need to see your skills for myself, Commander. Eden Prime will be the first of several missions together," Nihlus said, watching Shepard closely for her reaction.

 _No, Nihlus, it won't be._

"You'll be in charge of the ground team. Secure the beacon and get it onto the ship ASAP. Nihlus will accompany you to observe the mission," Anderson explained.

After a few more questions, digging for every scrap of information she could gather about the protheans, the beacon, and Eden Prime – which wasn't much information at all to speak of – Shepard was ready to go. Before they could leave the room, Joker's voice came through over the intercom telling Captain Anderson that there was a troubling transmission from Eden Prime. Anderson had Joker bring the video up for the three of them to watch. It showed a female human solider wearing white armor with pink accents yelling at whoever had the camera to get down. They were obviously in the middle of a battle; Shepard just couldn't see what it was they were fighting. The images were too shaky; the camera appeared to be implanted in the visor of a soldier who was looking around the battle scene frantically. Shepard watched as his team mates died, calling for evac. She caught only glimpses of enemy movement but not enough to discern the nature of the attackers until the camera looked up towards the sky. The biggest ship Shepard had ever laid eyes on was descending on the area, she had never seen a design like it before, it appeared to have jointed legs like an insect spreading wide to capture prey. The video stopped in static. _Sovereign._

Anderson asked Joker to pause the video on the scene with the terrifyingly large ship before quickly giving orders to have Alenko and Jenkins suit up; the team would go in after Nihlus. They all gathered to receive final orders as Nihlus checked the thermal clip on his gun and jumped off the ship to scout ahead. Shepard bit back the obvious flaw in him going it alone, after all he was supposed to be there watching her. She was more than comfortable with the idea of working separate for now. Securing the beacon was top priority, helping any survivors found would take second.


	2. Chapter 1: The Dead Spectre

**Chapter 1: The Dead Spectre**

Shepard led her team to the ground of Eden Prime, and after taking a moment to orientate herself she drew her pistol. Alenko and Jenkins followed her lead drawing weapons of their own. Jenkins, she had learned, was from Eden Prime and she knew that his knowledge of the place could prove useful. Movement further down the slope caught her attention, before her heart had beat twice she had assessed the odd, floating creatures as being insentient and unlikely to be a treat. She picked up the pace, stopping to glance around the area before wading through the foot deep standing water that the 'gas bags' – as she just heard Jenkin's call them – were floating above. After a quick jot down the opposite side, just to make sure that there was nothing hiding around the corner; Shepard went up the narrow pass between rock formations and then put a fist in the air to halt her team. Her eyes scanned the area ahead, seeing nothing of concern she gave the go ahead. Almost immediately Jenkins was shot down, the laser pulses cutting right through his weak armor.

Shepard dove for cover, ordering Alenko to do the same. She didn't take the time to worry about Jenkins, or curse herself for not detecting the threat. Peeking out of cover to see mechanical drones of some sort flying through the air she activated an Overload and ordered Alenko to use a biotic Throw. The drones fell swiftly, and Shepard moved to check on Jenkins. He was dead. Nothing to do for him now, they'd take him back to the ship after they secured the beacon. _Sorry kid._ The two continued forward, not getting very far before more drones appeared. These were dealt with easy enough, the gas bags floating around the area were a bit distracting with bullets flying around but Shepard was more than skillful enough to avoid shooting the strange creatures. _This time, that's me, by the way, you're welcome. You get a little better, a little more skilled every time. Maybe if I can make you good enough, you can make this all finally end._

Pushing forward, Shepard heard more gunfire just before spotting someone in white armor shooting at drones. Shepard picked up the speed as she rushed into the fray, shooting at the bipedal mechs that rounded the bend. They weren't like the mechs she was used to seeing. _Not mechs, geth._ They moved differently, too, more cautiously and taking cover. She'd never seen a mech take cover. Taking cover near the armored woman, Shepard didn't pause to speak, taking aim and firing on the mechs.

The mechs didn't go down quite as easily as the damn drones did, but they sure did make easier targets. Alenko gave the all clear and Shepard turned to look at the woman who'd left cover and put her gun away. Shepard got a closer look at her armor, the same incredibly ugly white armor with pink accents she'd seen in the video feed back on the Normandy. _Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams aka Xenophobic Bitch._ The woman snapped a salute as Shepard approached.

"Thanks for your help, Commander. I didn't think I was going to make it. Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the two twelve. You the one in charge here, ma'am?" Williams asked.

Shepard ignored the obvious and instead asked if the woman was injured. Williams assured Shepard that it was nothing serious before going into the details of the attack. She had lost her whole team to the attack and seemed a little shaken. Shepard was no stranger to losing her whole team, even if this was incomparable to Akuze. She was sure that Williams was feeling the loss so gave her a moment to work through it before she started asking questions.

"Any idea what kind of enemy we're facing?" Shepard finally asked.

"I think they're geth," Williams responded without hesitation.

"The geth haven't been seen outside of the Veil in nearly two-hundred years. Why are they here now?" Alenko spoke up.

Williams responded with a shrug, "They must have come for the beacon. The dig site is close, just over that rise. It might still be there."

"We could use your help, Williams," Shepard asked looking off in the direction Williams pointed.

"Aye, aye, ma'am. It's time for payback," the Gunnery Chief said.

"Move out," was Shepard's only response.

Shepard kept an eye on Williams as they moved towards the dig site. She was an unknown quantity and the parameters had already changed with this mission too many times for her comfort. _Williams is a good soldier; you can trust her on the field._ Nihlus was still checking in over the comm, but she hadn't caught sight of him since he left the ship and that was making her uneasy. Was he actually scouting ahead or was he up on a cliff somewhere watching her get shot at like some creepy stalker; there was no way for her to know and she had to stay focused. Moving down a trail off to the side, Shepard spotted what must be the dig site up ahead. She could see the metal structures set up around the area to protect the site and offer support for the digging. _There are geth ahead._ If the geth were here for the beacon, the site might be occupied. Staying low, Shepard moved her team from cover to cover behind the jagged pieces of rock that littered the area. Sure enough, there were geth patrolling the site and one of them caught sight of her team.

Ducking back down, Shepard inched her way to the edge of the rock she had her back to and peered around the corner; giving swift orders to Alenko to use his Sabotage while she lined up an Overload. She marked a target for Williams, not yet really knowing what the woman could do. It seemed the three of them worked rather well together and the geth went down much faster with the coordinated effort. Shepard creeped out from behind the rock, edging along the path staying near to cover until she was able to see into the dig site. Giving the all clear, she stood and looked around the area. She didn't see any type of beacon, turning at the waist she looked back at Williams with a raised eyebrow.

Williams stepped over and looked over the area, "This is the dig site. The beacon was right here. It must have been moved."

Shepard weighed the words and expression of the other woman, gauging her for any hint of deceit and found none. Williams suggested that they check out the research camp. Shepard couldn't find fault in the idea so gave the order to move out.

"Change of plans, Shepard. There's a small spaceport up ahead. I want to check it out. I'll wait for you there," Nihlus' voice came over the comm.

Shepard led her team up towards the ridge where Williams said the research camp was. Before they crested the ridge, the smell of smoke reached Shepard's nose. Soon, they saw flames consuming a prefab module, if there had been anyone in that building they were dead now. As they got closer to the area, Shepard saw something that gave even her pause. Metal spikes on a tripod formation jutted into the air. Impaled on each spike was what appeared to be burned human corpses but there was something else, blue lights coming from their skin… she couldn't quite make it out but she continued to move forward with caution. _Dragon Teeth, and they aren't human. Not anymore._ As the team approached, the spikes began to drop one by one. The bodies freed, began to move, climbing down from the tripod structures and zeroing in on Shepard and her team. Their movements seemed dazed, erratic – mindless.

Shepard fired a warning shot into the dirt near one of the… the… what the hell were these things? _Husks._ It only seemed to encourage the not-human monster as it locked on and ran straight at her. She fired more shots, but it just kept running like the damn thing couldn't even feel the bullets ripping through its flesh. _Get back, don't let it close on you!_ Shepard moved back, keeping her gun trained on the creature, firing shot after shot until it finally fell. They were making the most unnerving noise she had ever heard, it made her skin crawl. _Wait 'til you hear the siren of a Reaper, or worse, a Banshee's scream._ Shepard shuddered as she turned to shoot at one of the creatures that had jumped onto Alenko, its knees locked onto his hips and its hands on his shoulders. She saw it move its head down towards Alenko's face; it almost looked like it was trying to bite the man. Her pistol rang out twice before the creature fell to the ground dead. She turned in time to see one close on Williams. Shepard shot at the creature. It stopped a few feet from Williams and threw its head back, arms out wide. It made that terrible sound, almost like a wailing roar and something like blue electricity began to arc over its body. Williams was knocked back from the small explosion, and the creature seemed to liquefy falling to a puddle on the ground. Williams confirmed that her shields were down, but the threat was over, for now.

Shepard moved to the body of the first one. Looking at it, there was no doubt that this thing was once human. She didn't know what had been done to it, but she felt no guilt for killing it. She was certain it had stopped being human, or even alive as far as she was concerned, long before she shot it down.

"I saw the geth putting people on these spikes, they were just people! What the hell did they do to them?" Williams asked the disgust evident in her tone.

"I don't know, but we have to keep moving. Nihlus is waiting for us at the spaceport. Let's check these buildings for survivors and then get to Nihlus," Shepard said.

"Aye, aye, ma'am," came Williams' voice.

"Yes, Commander," was Alenko's reply.

The first building she went to was empty except for some lockers and cots. Moving to the second door, she found the door locked. Opening her omni-tool she held her hand out towards the lock and began the bypass. Once the door was opened she peered inside, spotting two survivors cowering at the far side of the room. They appeared unharmed, but terrified. Shepard put her pistol away, hoping not to alarm them further before stepping into the prefab room. Realizing that Shepard was human, the two survivors moved towards her.

"Humans, thank the Maker!" The woman said, wringing her hands.

"Hurry! Close the door! Before they come back!" the man spoke in a rushed, whispering voice.

Something seemed off with him.

"Don't worry, we'll protect you," Shepard said trying to keep him calm and reassure them both.

"Thank you, I think we'll be okay now. It looks like everyone's gone," the woman said.

"You're Dr. Warren, the one in charge of the excavation. Do you know what happened to the beacon?" Williams asked the woman.

"It was moved to the spaceport this morning. Manuel and I stayed behind to help pack up the camp," she said indicating the man standing hunched over next to her.

Shepard eyed the man warily; something was really not right with him. _He's gone mad. Indoctrinated maybe or maybe the beacon showed him something. Last time you shot him like a rabid dog._

"When the attack came, the marines held them off long enough for us to hide. They gave their lives to save us," Dr. Warren continued.

"No one is saved. The age of humanity is ended. Soon, only ruin and corpses will remain," Manuel rambled.

Shepard paused only a moment, thinking it best to ignore the man for now and focus on what information she could get out of the clearly more stable woman.

"What else can you tell me about the attack?" Shepard asked.

"It all happened so fast. One second we were gathering up our equipment, the next we were hiding in the shed while the geth swarmed over the camp," the doctor said, shaking her head in confusion.

"Agents of the destroyers. Bringers of darkness. Heralds of our extinction," Manuel said.

Manuel pushed at his head with a fist. Dr. Warren continued on without comment to Manuel's bizarre statements so Shepard left it alone for now, keeping an eye on the man.

"We could hear the battle outside. Gunfire. Screams. I thought it would never end. Then, everything went quiet. We just sat there, too afraid to move. Until you came along," Dr. Warren said.

"Can you tell me anything about the beacon?" Shepard asked.

"It's some type of data module from a galaxy wide communications network. Remarkably well preserved. It could be the greatest scientific discovery of our lifetime! Miraculous new technologies, groundbreaking medical advancements. Who knows what secrets are locked inside?" Dr. Warren said.

"We have unearthed the heart of evil. Awakened the beast. Unleashed the darkness," Manuel spoke sounding increasingly agitated.

Shepard casually rested her hand on the butt of her pistol; this man was making her seriously uncomfortable. What the hell was he on about? Noting the Commander's movements, and perhaps fearing what they might mean for her colleague if she couldn't calm him down Dr. Warren tried to quiet Manuel.

"Manuel! Please! This isn't the time," she said.

Shepard really wanted to move this along but she needed to ask about Nihlus, something about the turian still wasn't sitting right with her, "Did you notice a turian in the area?"

"I saw him. The prophet. Leader of the enemy. He was here, before the attack," Manuel responded.

Alenko spoke up, "That's impossible. Nihlus was with us on the Normandy before the attack. He couldn't have been here."

"I'm sorry. Manuel's still a bit… unsettled. We haven't seen your turian. We've been hiding here since the attack," Dr. Warren said.

Finally, Shepard had had enough of the mad man's ramblings, "What's wrong with your assistant?"

"Manuel has a brilliant mind but he's always been a bit… unstable. Genius and madness are two sides of the same coin," Dr. Warren tried to explain.

"Is it madness to see the future? To see the destruction rushing towards us? To understand there is no escape? No hope? No, I am not mad. I'm the only sane one left!" Manuel's voice became more fevered, rising in pitch.

"I gave him an extra dose of his meds after the attack," said Dr. Warren, clearly trying to reassure the uneasy Commander.

Shepard seriously contemplated shooting the man for a moment, he had completely lost it and she feared he might become violent with Dr. Warren when they left. Still, the woman seemed use to his insanity and seemed to know how to control him, or at least keep him on a short leash. Perhaps he can keep it together long enough for evac.

"Williams, take us to the spaceport," Shepard said turning to the Gunnery Chief.

"You can't stop it. Nobody can stop it. Night is falling. The darkness of eternity," Manuel seemed to almost whine.

"Hush, Manuel. Go lie down. You'll feel better once the medication kicks in," Dr. Warren ordered.

Leaving the insane man and his caretaker behind, Shepard stepped back outside and let a low whistle escape her lips. She shared a meaningful look with Alenko and Williams; both seemed just as on edge over the man's behavior as she was.

"Any idea what the hell that man was talking about?" Shepard asked her team.

"It sounded like he is expecting some sort of apocalypse. I mean, I get it, whatever those damn things are running around, the geth, and that ship falling down on the place! Honestly, if it weren't for my training, I think I might be just as far gone as he is after seeing that thing. And that noise it made. I think that noise could mess anyone's brain up," Williams said clearly still processing the attack herself.

"I'm more curious to know what turian he was talking about. I mean, yeah, sure, the man is obviously insane but what if he really did see another turian? We know it couldn't have been Nihlus, but it sounded like he really did see someone and whoever that was might be responsible for whatever is going on here," Alenko added.

"I don't like this," Shepard said drawing her pistol once more and keeping it pointed at the ground. "Let's get to that spaceport, get that beacon and get back to the Normandy. Anderson needs to know about all of this ASAP."

They'd only taken a few steps when they heard a gunshot ring out from the direction of the spaceport. Shepard picked up speed, breaking into a run with Alenko and Williams following her lead. They rounded a corner and saw the spaceport just down the rise, geth started shooting at them as soon as they were in view and more of those… husks, yes, she decided that's what they were. Empty shells, no longer human. More of those husks dropped down from their spikes and started running up the hill towards her team. In front of them sat another prefab and several large rocks. Shepard quickly dove for cover, taking out the husks first since they were far more aggressive than the geth and closing distance fast. She ordered Williams to use the Overkill technique she'd seen her use earlier and gave Alenko the go ahead for Throw, switching between her biotics, tech, and pistol herself. After the husks were down, they turned their attention to the geth taking them out with speed and efficiency.

The spaceport was right there, but she couldn't overlook the prefab standing in front of her. Yeah, Anderson had said that survivors were secondary but Nihlus was a Spectre, surely he was able to handle himself long enough for her to secure that building. She jogged over to the prefab and began to bypass the door when it opened and a woman and two men stepped outside. Shepard didn't spare much time talking to them, just assured them that it was clear and that they were safe where they were for now.

Just as she was about to go, the two men started bickering about whether or not to give her something. This caught Shepard's attention so she prodded the man the others called Cole, turns out they'd been moving packages for smugglers and when the attack happened they decided to look in the packages. They'd found a pistol, and after Shepard reminded them that her team was risking their lives to save the colony, Cole offered up a combat scanner as well. He didn't want to reveal the name of his contact when Williams asked, insisting he wasn't a bad guy. Shepard didn't want to push the issue; she had far more important things to worry about.

Running down the hill, she quickly scouted the area to make sure that there was no ambush waiting. Given the all clear, her team made their way up a small set of stairs. Nihlus lay at the top, in a pool of his own blue blood. He had been shot in the back.

"Damn it!" Shepard swore.

Movement from behind some nearby crates drew their attention away from the dead Spectre. Guns raised, they ordered whoever it was to come out. A man showed himself, his hands rose to show he was unarmed. Shepard told him he could have gotten himself shot, sneaking around like that. The man apologized and explained that he had been hiding behind the crates when the attacks happened. Apparently, he frequently hid back there to sleep on the job and just got lucky this time. He said he saw everything that had happened though, including what had happened to Nihlus.

"The other one got here first. He was waiting when your friend showed up. He called him Saren. I think they knew each other," the man named Powell said; scratching his head. "Your friend seemed to relax. He let his guard down… and Saren killed him. Shot him right in the back. I'm just lucky he didn't see me behind the crates."

"Where did Saren go after he killed Nihlus?" Shepard asked.

"He jumped on that cargo train and headed over to the other platform. Probably going after the beacon," he said pointing to the cargo train. "I knew that beacon was trouble. Everything's gone to hell since we found it. First that damn mother ship showed up. Then the attack. They killed everyone. Everyone! If I hadn't been behind the crates I'd be dead, too!"

Shepard sent the man on his way, telling him where the other survivors were located so he could join up with them to wait for evac. She turned to head to the cargo train when they were set upon by more geth. Already understanding their tactics and weaknesses, Shepard moved into cover. The geth were down in less than two minutes, even the larger ones with rocket launchers. _You're welcome._ She rushed her team to the train and they took it across to the other platform. The combat scanner Cole had given her alerted her to the presence of several enemies in the area, and as soon as they stepped off of the train they saw a bomb right next to the train dock.

Immediately, Shepard bent down and scanned the bomb, her omni-tool informed her that there were four bombs in the area and that they had five minutes until detonation. Working fast and trusting her team to cover her back she disabled the first bomb. Shepard rushed through the area, dodging geth when she could, shooting them down when she couldn't. Her focus was finding the bombs and disabling them as quickly as she could. Williams and Alenko would have to deal with the geth. She went straight to the next bomb, not questioning how she knew that was where it would be. She crouched down low to disable the bomb while shots were being fired around her. Alenko and Williams kept the geth back, and she was in a recessed area so she was provided some cover.

As soon as that one was disarmed, she rose and charged, swerving past a geth before turning to fling an Overload at it as she went. Alenko and Williams weren't far behind her and soon the geth in that area were preoccupied by her team. She saw two geth blocking the recess where she knew the next bomb would be, so she ducked down behind a support beam and fired off a few shots. As soon as those geth were down she charged for the recess, again relying on the small space to provide her some modicum of cover as her team dealt with the enemy. With the third bomb disarmed she began to move out of the recess only to have to dive back behind it, there were several geth close and closing on her location. Quickly she used an Overload on them while having Alenko use his Throw to knock them back out of her way. Once they were down from the Throw, she charged past them even as they were regaining there footing.

She ducked behind a crate and took a sniper shot to her back. Quickly she hit her omni-tool, causing Medi-gel to be released into her suit before diving back out from behind the crate and over to the final bomb. She spared a second to order her team to her location before crouching down next to the bomb. Glancing at the countdown just before it was finished; she had accomplished disarming all the bombs in one minute and twenty seconds. _Don't get smug, the first several times you did this you were stumbling around getting shot and searching in a near panic all over the place for the last bomb, nearly got yourself, your team, hell the whole damn colony blown up. There was only seconds to spare._

Heading down a ramp, she could see what must be the beacon. It was green, glowing pillar of sorts. Checking her scanner she picked up hostiles in the area so she put her back to a metal sheet along the ramps railing and looked around the corner. More geth and husks, though just a handful. They had them down quick. Shepard moved down off the ramp and after securing the area approached the prothean beacon. _No, don't! Stay away from it, get back. Get back. Get back. Just don't, leave it the fuck alone. Leave it and maybe this shit will end._ She didn't get too close to it, whatever it was it made her feel uneasy. She stepped back away and radioed the Normandy with their location for a pick up. Williams came over and started to talk to her but she saw Alenko getting closer to the beacon. She was just about to call out to him to tell him to keep his distance until they knew what exactly that thing was when the beacon started glowing brighter. Alenko seemed to be struggling, as if something was pulling him towards the beacon. Shepard shoved Williams out of the way and ran towards Alenko, grabbing the man and flinging him away from the beacon. It saved him, but now whatever it was had her. She could feel herself being pulled towards the device and lifted off of her feet.

She heard Alenko call out to her just before her head suddenly felt like it might explode. Images started pouring into her brain of death and destruction. Red hued pictures, as if viewed through blood smeared eyes, flashed before her too rapidly to follow closely. There was some kind of aliens, something she had never seen before being slaughtered in genocide by some sort of synthetics. Images of computer chips and other tech being implanted into flesh. It was too much, her mind couldn't handle it; she felt herself being violently thrown back and when she hit the ground she was out.

 _Damn it…_

Shepard could hear movement as consciousness slowly crept back to her, she blinked her eyes and everything appeared fuzzy. She let her eyes drop closed again for a second and started shifting her weight to sit up. She blinked a few more times and her vision cleared as she set up.

"Doctor? Dr. Chakwas? I think she's waking up," She heard Alenko say.

Shepard pushed herself to the edge of the bed, letting her legs dangle down over the side and put her face in her palms, her elbows resting on her knees. Looking around she realized she was back on the Normandy and in the med bay. Dr. Chakwas walked around the bed to stand in front of Shepard.

"You had us worried there, Shepard. How are you feeling?" The doctor asked while watching Shepard closely.

"Like the morning after shore leave. How long was I out?" Shepard groaned, in between rubbing her temple and pinching the bridge of her nose.

"About fifteen hours. Something happened down there with the beacon, I think," Dr. Chakwas said.

Alenko jumped in quick, "It's my fault. I must have triggered some kind of energy field when I approached it. You had to push me out of the way."

 _When I'm a man, it's always Ashley that triggers the beacon. She always says pretty much the same thing when I wake up._

"You had no way to know that would happen," Shepard said shaking her head slowly at Alenko's words.

"Actually, we don't even know if that's what set it off. Unfortunately, we'll never get the chance to find out," the doctor said.

"The beacon exploded. A system overload, maybe. The blast knocked you cold. Williams and I had to carry you back here to the ship," Alenko said walking around to stand next to Dr. Chakwas.

"I appreciate it," she said to Alenko.

"Physically, you're fine. But I detected some unusual brain activity, abnormal beta waves. I also noticed an increase in your rapid eye movement, signs typically associated with intense dreaming," Dr. Chakwas paused, watching Shepard.

"I saw… I'm not sure what I saw. Death. Destruction. Nothing's really clear," Shepard said haltingly.

"Hmmm. I better add this to my report. It may – Oh, Captain Anderson," Dr. Chakwas said as Captain Anderson entered the med bay.

Shepard stopped paying close attention to the conversation as Anderson was filled in on her condition by the doctor. It was only after Dr. Chakwas and Alenko left the med bay that Shepard realized Anderson had asked to speak to her privately. She still wasn't feeling too steady on her feet, and her head was pounding. They talked for a few minutes about the deaths of Nihlus and Jenkins and of Williams joining the crew before Shepard finally brought up the thing they were both dancing around.

"Intel dropped the ball, sir. We had no idea what we were walking into down there. That's why things went to hell," Shepard was seething but did her best to reign it in, she knew it wasn't Anderson's fault.

"The geth haven't been outside the Veil in two centuries, Commander. Nobody could have predicted this," Anderson said.

She knew he was right, but goddamn it she was pissed and she needed someone to blame for this mission going to shit.

"I won't lie to you, Shepard. Things look bad. Nihlus is dead. The beacon was destroyed and geth are invading. The Council's going to want answers," Anderson laid out the facts to Shepard.

"I didn't do anything wrong, Captain. Hopefully, the Council can see that," Shepard said.

"I'll stand by you and your report, Shepard. You're a damned hero in my books. That's not why I'm here. It's Saren, that other turian. Saren's a Spectre, one of the best. A living legend. But if he's working with the geth, it means he's gone rogue. A rogue Spectre's trouble. Saren's dangerous, and he hates humans," Anderson said, furrowing his brow.

"Why?" she asked.

"He thinks we're growing too fast, taking over the galaxy. A lot of aliens think that way. Most of them don't do anything about it. But Saren has allied himself with the geth. I don't know how. I don't know why. I only know it had something to do with that beacon. You were there just before the beacon self-destructed. Did you see anything? Any clue that might tell us what Saren was after?" Anderson went on.

Shepard leaned back against the bed, "Just before I lost consciousness, I had some kind of vision."

"A vision? A vision of what?" He sounded skeptical as he paced a couple of steps before turning back to look at Shepard.

"I saw synthetics. Geth maybe," Shepard shrugged. "Slaughtering people. Butchering them."

"We need to report this to the Council, Shepard," Anderson said.

Shepard scoffed, "What are we going to tell them? I had a bad dream?"

"We don't know what information was stored in that beacon. Lost prothean technology? Blueprints for some ancient weapon of mass destruction? Whatever it was, Saren took it. But I know Saren. I know his reputation, his politics. He believes humans are a blight on the galaxy. This attack was an act of war! He has the secrets from the beacon. He has an army of geth at his command. And he won't stop until he's wiped humanity from the face of the galaxy!" Anderson lectured.

"I'll find some way to take him down," Shepard said looking at the floor between herself and Anderson and feeling for all her efforts she had disappointed the man.

"It's not that easy. He's a Spectre. He can go anywhere, do almost anything. That's why we need the Council on our side," Anderson explained.

"We prove Saren's gone rogue and the Council will revoke his Spectre status," Shepard suggested, making herself sound far more confident than she felt.

"I'll contact the ambassador and see if he can get us an audience with the Council. He'll want to see us as soon as we reach the Citadel. We should be getting close. Head up to the bridge and tell Joker to bring us in to dock," Anderson ordered before turning and leaving the med bay.

With Anderson gone, Shepard stood alone in the med bay for a few minutes pulling herself together. She turned towards the bed and laid her palms out on the firm mattress, leaning forward she stared at the pristine white sheet rumbled from where she'd been. Shepard let her mind wander. _They're not going to believe you, no matter what you say. It won't be easy, but you'll find the evidence they need. You'll take him down, I always do. Pull it together; I can feel you falling apart inside. Stop it, goddamn it, Shepard. Stop it. You're stronger than this. I AM STRONGER THAN THIS. I will figure out a way to make this stop, I swear. Oh gods, why can't you hear me? This would all be over with by now if you could just hear me!_ Shepard looked up and around the room; she could have sworn she just heard someone say her name. The room was empty though. She knew that she wouldn't have been able to hear anyone talking outside the room unless they were screaming or talking on the intercom. She looked out the window at the mess area. Everything was calm out there. She shook her head – which she instantly regretted, chalking it up to being spooked over the beacon.

Shepard ran a finger across the scar on her cheek beneath her right eye. She took a deep breath and then let it rush out of her, strands of her hair being blown about as she did. She pushed herself away from the bed and left the med bay. As soon as she was in the mess hall, Alenko approached her telling her how glad he was to see that she was okay. She talked with him for a moment about everything that was happening, and the loss of Jenkins. She explained that Anderson wanted to have her speak with the Council when he asked why they were headed to the Citadel. He seemed like a really nice guy, she thought. _No! No, no, no. Just don't. Don't even go there. Please._ She glanced over her shoulder and saw Williams standing nearby. She excused herself from Alenko and approached Williams. She spent a minute or two assuring Williams that she was glad to have her aboard and that she had been a big help on Eden Prime before heading to the cockpit.


	3. Chapter 2: Why do I even bother?

**Chapter 2: Why Do I Even Bother?**

"This is an outrage! The Council would step in if the geth attacked a turian colony!" the ambassador raised his voice to the holographic projections of the Council.

"The turians don't found colonies on the borders of the Terminus Systems, Ambassador," the salarian councilor, Valern said.

"Humanity was well aware of the risks when you went into the Traverse," Tevos, the asari councilor said.

"What about Saren? You can't just ignore a rogue Spectre. I demand action!" Udina, the human ambassador insisted.

Sparatus, the turian councilor admonished Udina, "You don't get to make demands of the Council, Ambassador."

"Citadel security is investigating your charges against Saren. We will discuss the C-Sec findings at the hearing. Not before," Tevos asserted.

Shepard leaned against the low wall of the balcony in Ambassador Udina's office. She'd just met the man, and already she couldn't stand to be in the same room with him. He was loud, rude, and arrogant. His face seemed permanently twisted into a scowl. How had this man been chosen to represent all of humanity for the galactic Council? _Good, don't trust Udina. Never trust Udina._ When the councilors were done talking and the comm went dark, Udina walked over to where she was standing with Williams, Alenko, and Captain Anderson. This wasn't exactly how she had hoped her first visit to the Citadel would go, but that was how life went when you were N7. Shepard listened idly as the ambassador made snide comments about her and her team's presence. She took some small satisfaction from knowing that by just being there, she was getting under the man's skin. She glanced over her shoulder at Alenko who was subtly shaking his head in disbelief, over the Council's brushoff or the ambassador's personality she wasn't sure. Williams seemed equally displeased, only less subtle.

"They were not happy about it. Saren's their top agent. They don't like him being accused of treason," Udina said.

Shepard finally spoke up, "Saren's a threat to every human colony out there. He needs to be stopped. The Council has to listen to us!"

"Settle down, Commander. You've already done more than enough to jeopardize your candidacy for the Spectres," Udina chastised. "The mission on Eden Prime was a chance for you to prove you could get the job done. Instead, Nihlus ended up dead and the beacon was destroyed!"

Oh, now she really didn't like the man. If she wasn't sure he'd press charges she'd lay him out cold. Who the hell does he think he is? Ambassador or not, he was way out of line.

"That's Saren's fault, not hers!" Anderson came to Shepard's defense.

"Then we better hope the C-Sec investigation turns up evidence to support our accusations. Otherwise the Council might use this as an excuse to keep you out of the Spectres," He said looking from Anderson to Shepard and then back again. "Come with me, Captain. I want to go over a few things before the hearing. Shepard, you and the others can meet us at the Citadel Tower. Top level. I'll make sure you have the clearance to get in."

The two men left the ambassador's office. She had some time to kill before the meeting, so she decided she might as well take in the sights. Leaving Udina's office she swung right and entered another office. She found it occupied by two elcor and a volus, the elcor were discussing something about someone called the Consort sharing sensitive information. Shepard had yet to spend any real time around the elcor, she thought they were really rather fascinating. They kind of reminded her of small Earth elephants without the big ears and if the elephant had been born with a deformed trunk. She'd never actually seen an elephant, of course, they didn't even exist anymore she didn't think but she had seen the pictures. She didn't wish to interrupt their conversation so she stood patiently nearby, trying to look as if she were focused on the office itself as opposed to listening to the conversation. Humans considered eavesdropping to be rude, Shepard wasn't sure if the other races felt the same way but in her line of work she had learned to listen in when she could. People gave away a lot of information when they didn't think anyone else was paying attention.

The elcor behind the desk acknowledged her in the unique way that elcor do, telling her what he was feeling as he spoke in a monotone voice making him sound far more bored than pleased to see her. Still, Shepard wasn't so easily deterred; she approached the desk and spoke to the elcor who identified himself – herself? – as Ambassador Calyn. She had absolutely no idea how to tell a male and female elcor apart, but this one at least had a deep masculine voice. Did that mean the elcor was a male? Did it really matter? She wanted to talk to him, not sleep with him.

Shepard asked him about the elcor people, seeking out information about their history and culture. Ambassador Calyn expressed enthusiasm over the idea of sharing information with her, and told her about how the asari had first made contact with the elcor shortly after they had begun exploring space. This opened the door for the elcor to establish themselves as a species with an ambassador on the Citadel, even if they weren't on the official Council. The volus nearby, Calyn called him Din, complained a lot over the fact that Calyn was speaking with Shepard and expressed a more than obvious distaste for humans in general. Shepard did her best to ignore Din's comments, instead focusing her attention on Calyn as he explained the political system of the elcor. Eventually, she gave in to her curiosity and asked Calyn about the way the elcor always stated an emotion before speaking. She hoped he understood it was simply curiosity born of ignorance and she wasn't committing some sort of faux pas. Calyn explained that the elcor communicated with each other more through scent and slight movements, but after interacting with other species they discovered that something more was needed for others to understand the emotional context of what they said. Shepard had to admit that it was impressive that they had found such a straightforward way to adapt to interspecies relationships; it was very accommodating of them.

Tired of Din's rude interjections, Shepard turned to the volus. She wondered if she were to push the squat, rounded volus over if he would be able to right himself again. Volus required full body suits and respirators, at least when not on their planet, maybe on their planet, too. She'd have to look into that later, maybe she could find a picture of what they look like without their suits on the extranet. Though, on second thought, that particular search might lead to some uncomfortable images that she would really rather not see. Their faces were completely covered, bright rounded lights pointed to where their eyes were, and a rounded vent that lit up when they spoke was the only indication of where a mouth would be.

He eventually identified himself as Ambassador Din Korlack but only after receiving a "chastising rebuke" from Calyn. Din didn't even attempt to hide his disgust for the "Earth-clan" as he kept calling her. Barely suppressing a smirk, Shepard asked Din Korlack all the same questions she had asked Calyn about his people. Din made sure to point out how he had to share an office with the elcor ambassador while the human ambassador had his own office, even though both his and Calyn's species had been on the Citadel far longer than humans. The little football really had a chip on his shoulder. Still, he talked to her anyway, probably because as an ambassador it would be unacceptable to blatantly refuse to answer her questions about his people for no other reason than his own personal prejudice.

When Shepard had grown bored with antagonizing the volus with her questions, she left the office and headed down the stairs, back out onto the Presidium. She noted the holographic asari display just outside of the embassies but decided not to bother with it; she'd find her way around on her own. _And you already know where everything is, you remember, even if you don't realize it. You haven't had to use Avina to guide you since, I don't know the tenth or so time. Just like you aren't heading straight for the tower now because you know that there are other things to be done before you get there, other people to help, more information to gather. You almost always stop to help; you always stop to ask questions. It's who we are._

She made her way up the stairs on the other side of the embassies. She stopped when she say a door marked 'Citadel Security Executor Pallin', she was determined to find out what C-Sec had learned about Saren and figured it was a good place to start. The turian behind the desk greeted her by name; apparently the news of her presence on the Citadel had already gotten around. He'd probably accessed her file as soon as he got the case on Saren. He wasn't pleased that she was in his office, asking questions about the investigation and refused to give her any information about the ongoing investigation. Like Din, the executor didn't seem to be too fond of humans. This was just fantastic, she had been tasked by her Captain to take down a rogue Spectre but she was going to have to wade through three feet of racist bullshit at every turn in order to get whatever scraps of intel she could. At least the executor did admit that he thought Saren was corrupt, even if it seemed he thought all Spectres were to some extent. Still, there was some hope in that. If the executor already believed in Saren's guilt, he might just be willing to keep digging until he had the proof.

Shepard left the executor's office annoyed by the turian's attitude. The other door in this area led to a lounge, there was a bar and several tables filled with various species. Some appeared to be relaxing with friends while others brought their work with them. After hearing more people talk about this asari Consort, Shepard decided that the woman must be significant and decided to see what all the fuss was about. From the chatter she was hearing, she sounded to Shepard to be an overpriced prostitute, even if some people swore that all they did was talk to her. Shepard knew though, that when people are in awe of someone, they'll go to great lengths to impress that person and even tell them things that they wouldn't otherwise tell anyone else. Perhaps she could get some information from this Consort.

"I want to meet this Consort; it sounds like she has half the Citadel in her thrall. She might be able to tell us something," Shepard said to Alenko and Williams.

"That elcor was saying that she shared his private information, we might need to bribe her but it doesn't sound like it should be too hard. If you're sure that's what you want to do, Commander," Alenko said.

"The Lieutenant is right, it probably won't help our case any if reports get back to the Council that you went to see the Consort to bribe her for information before the meeting," Williams added.

"We're not going to bribe her, we're going to ask nicely and if she doesn't want to cooperate we walk. Simple," explained Shepard.

It didn't take her long to find the Consort's office. She was stopped at the door by an asari hostess who insisted that she needed an appointment to see the Consort and that the next available appointment would be at least three months away. That's insane, Shepard thought. Who the hell would wait around for three months to see this woman, especially at her prices? Shepard had a feeling that this asari wasn't nearly all that everyone claimed her to be but that these people were taken in by the hype and the exclusivity. Some people thought anything hard to get was more than worth the trouble. Shepard scoffed at the asari gate keeper and told her that no one was worth that much of a wait. Just as Shepard was about to turn to leave, the asari received a call and stopped Shepard telling her that the Consort, Sha'ira, wished to see Shepard right away after all.

Intrigue and wariness set in as Shepard made her way up the stairs. She really didn't know much about this woman, and it seemed like everyone she asked was unable to provide any specific information. She rested her hand on her pistol; it would be terrible to have to kill someone on her first visit to the Citadel. She was sure she'd never hear the end of it from Udina, and would probably be banned if she wasn't outright court-martialed. Didn't mean she wouldn't do it if pressed, though. Shepard made her way down the short hall and opened the only door. An asari stood in the middle of the room with her back turned to Shepard, looking out a window. She glanced over her shoulder as Shepard approached but didn't turn to face her. Shepard scanned the area, and allowed herself to relax when she saw no one else in the room.

"That is close enough, Commander. I've heard a great many things about you since your arrival here on our Citadel," the woman said.

"I don't like people spying on me," Shepard warned.

"I apologize, Commander. I make it my business to know when important people arrive on the station. Many of them become clients. But that is not why I asked you here. I have a certain problem that could use your expertise," Sha'ira said, finally facing Shepard.

Shepard took in the asari; she never did understand how their species could be exclusively female but that was hardly the strangest thing Shepard had learned about the different alien species. She was pretty, Shepard supposed, but not really any more attractive than any other asari she'd met so far. Her clothing was seductive, but that could hardly be the main attraction. Her blue skin wasn't a particularly alluring shade, and her facial markings held no meaning for Shepard. Her hair – tentacles – whatever they were called didn't seem special in anyway. Maybe it was something to do with the biotics all asari naturally had, did she use them in bed somehow? Either way, Shepard knew that the best way to get what she wanted was to give a little something in return. Favor for favor.

"Maybe I can help?" Shepard offered.

"I have a friend. Septimus, a retired turian general. I won't discuss the details, but he wanted me to be more than I could be. We had a falling out. Now he spends his days in Chora's Den drinking and spreading lies about me. If you would speak to him as a fellow soldier," Sha'ira said, reaching out and caressing Shepard's face. "I believe he will listen to you and let the matter be."

Shepard's jaw clenched slightly at the woman's touch. She hated it when strangers touched her, but never had a stranger thought it acceptable to touch her in such an intimate way in the middle of conversation. Still, the woman hadn't harmed Shepard and maybe this was some sort of cultural difference between human and asari so Shepard let it go.

"What happened between you?" Shepard asked.

"I respect his privacy too much to go into the details. If he wishes to tell you what happened, that is his prerogative," was all Sha'ira would say.

"What exactly do you want me to tell him?" Shepard asked.

"Appeal to his sense of honor. Remind him of his position as a general," Sha'ira said before closing what little space there was between Shepard and herself, wrapping her arms around Shepard in an embrace. "If you can convince him to stop spreading lies about me, I would be very grateful.

Shepard froze in place. What the fuck was that? Is the damn woman in heat or something? Shepard had always been attracted to both sexes, and she wasn't exactly turned off by the idea of sleeping with an alien but… had she given some sort of sign to this woman? Something subtle that Shepard didn't realize carried that type of message with the asari? She looked over the asari's shoulder at her team. Williams had a look of pure disgust and horror on her face, and Alenko just looked amused. Sha'ira let Shepard go and turned away from her without explanation.

"Now, I must ask you to take your leave. I have many clients waiting to see me," Sha'ira said.

Shepard backed slowly away from the asari, and back out of the door without speaking. Once outside, she heard Alenko chuckle.

"Not a word, Alenko," Shepard warned.

"But Commander, I think the Consort has a thing for you," Alenko said.

"I don't want to talk about it," was all Shepard had to say to get Alenko to drop the topic.

Shepard made her way through the Presidium, stopping to talk to a hanar she saw in the Emporium. Of all the aliens that Shepard had seen, the hanar were by far the most "alien" of them all. The hanar hovered in the air somehow, and they didn't even have proper faces. They looked like giant, pink jellyfish. She felt incredibly uncomfortable talking to a hanar, there were no eyes for her to make eye contact, and any possible body language they made would have been utterly lost on her. Hell, they didn't even have a mouth for her to watch as they spoke. The words just kinda… emanated from them and different parts of their bodies lit up when they talked. Bioluminescence, it was how they communicated with each other, that much she did know. They referred to themselves as "this one" and "it"; Shepard was curious about it so she asked why. She was told that it was simply a part of their culture so she let it go. _Better than Blasto._ He said he was a shopkeeper, so Shepard bought a few things from him and sold off some of the extra gear she had found on the field. She excused herself from the hanar and headed to the Wards access to see if she could find this Septimus.

Shepard frowned when she hit a dead end; the door to the Wards was locked. Apparently she didn't have clearance. How strange, she can run around the Presidium where the elite of the elite lived and did business but she couldn't go to the Wards where the C-Sec HQ and lower tier businesses were? Whatever, it was getting close to time for the Council meeting. She'd find Septimus later, she decided, and changed course to the Citadel Tower.

When Shepard exited the elevator she saw two turians standing at the top of a set of stairs. She recognized one of them as the executor she had spoken with not too long before. She made her way up the stairs and was going to just walk past the two when she heard the other turian mention Saren. Pausing near them she listened to the conversation. _Garrus. Oh, gods, Garrus._

"Saren's hiding something! Give me more time. Stall them," the other turian said to the executor.

"Stall the Council? Don't be ridiculous! You're investigation is over, Garrus," Executor Pallin said shaking his head and walking away.

The one called Garrus turned to look at Shepard, when their eyes met she felt… something. _"No matter what happens here, you know I love you. I always will," the last words I spoke to you. It's still true. It will always be true. I don't care how many lives I have to live, how many times I have to die, I will always love you, Garrus Vakarian._ It was like her heart wrenched, filled with sorrow for the briefest of moments. Still dazed by the unexpected wave of emotion, Shepard shook her head slightly and chalked it up to a side effect from the beacon. She studied the turian, drinking in his image. He wore blue and black armor, the blue was the same shade as his colony markings on his face. He had a visor on, distorting the appearance of his left eye. A sniper, maybe? _The best, but don't tell him that. His ego would explode._ His small eyes were likewise blue, and Shepard thought they were the most interesting eyes she'd seen on a turian yet. The upper part of his face and his crest were a shade of taupe, but it lightened and shifted in color down towards his mouth and mandibles becoming something closer to beige. Most humans thought turians look like birds, and she could see the resemblance, but to her turians also had a feline quality about them. Something to do with the shapes of their nose and mouth reminded her of a cat. Either way, everything about them screamed apex predator, complete with sharp talons and near fanglike teeth.

Garrus walked towards Shepard, "Commander Shepard? Garrus Vakarian. I was the officer in charge of the C-Sec investigation into Saren."

"Sounds like you really want to bring him down," Shepard observed.

"I don't trust him. Something about him rubs me the wrong way," Garrus said wrapping his arms across his chest.

"But he's a Spectre; everything he touches is classified. I can't find any hard evidence," Garrus explained.

"I think the Council's ready for us, Commander," Alenko interrupted.

"Good luck, Shepard. Maybe they'll listen to you," Garrus said.

Shepard had to pull herself away from the turian; she couldn't understand what it was about him, had they met before? She shook her head and led the others through the tower and up a flight of stairs where Anderson was waiting.

"The hearing has already started, come on," Anderson said leading them up more stairs to stand before a holographic projection of a turian without any markings on his face, the projection towered above the room. Saren, Shepard assumed taking in what details she could as she followed Anderson to where Udina already stood out on a bridge like walkway that ended in a sudden drop-off; a few feet down panes of glass were all that separated the balcony from a drop to the lower level. _Saren will die down there._ The Council had set themselves up across an expanse in the room, for their safety, Shepard supposed, although she wouldn't have even the slightest trouble shooting them at this distance if she were of a mind too.

"The geth attack is a matter of some concern," Tevos spoke, "But there is nothing to indicate Saren was involved in any way."

"The investigation by Citadel Security turned up no evidence to support your charge of treason," Sparatus added.

"An eyewitness saw him kill Nihlus in cold blood!" Udina insisted.

"We've read the Eden Prime reports, Ambassador. The testimony of one traumatized dockworker is hardly compelling proof," said Valern.

"I resent these accusations. Nihlus was a fellow Spectre, and a friend," Saren said looking down on the Council.

"That just let you catch him off guard!" Anderson spoke out.

"Captain Anderson. You always seem to be involved when humanity makes false charges against me. And this must be your protégé, Commander Shepard. The one who let the beacon get destroyed," Saren taunted Anderson and Shepard.

"You're the one who destroyed the beacon. Then you tried to cover it up," Shepard retorted.

"Shift the blame to cover your own failures, just like Captain Anderson. He's taught you well. But what can you expect from a human?" Saren responded, turning back to the Council.

"Saren despises humanity. That's why he attacked Eden Prime!" Shepard said shifting her weight forward to emphasize her point.

"Your species needs to learn its place, Shepard. You're not ready to join the Council. You're not even ready to join the Spectres," Saren said, no doubt trying to rile Shepard.

"He has no right to say that! That's not his decision!" Udina fumed.

Tevos turned to her head to look up at Saren, "Shepard's admission into the Spectres is not the purpose of this meeting."

"This meeting has no purpose. The humans are wasting your time, Councilor. And mine," Saren retorted.

"You can't hide behind the Council forever!" Shepard warned.

Captain Anderson shifted, watching Shepard before speaking, "There is still one outstanding issue. Commander Shepard's vision. It may have been triggered by the beacon."

Saren scoffed, "Are we allowing dreams into evidence now? How can I defend my innocence against this kind of testimony?"

"I agree. Our judgement must be based on evidence, not wild imaginings and reckless speculation," said Sparatus.

"Do you have anything else to add, Commander Shepard?" Valern asked.

"You've made your decision. I won't waste my breath," Shepard said, biting back the far more caustic remark she had in mind.

Sparatus and Tevos looked at each other a moment, communicating something through head nodding and shaking before the asari spoke again, "The Council has found no evidence of any connection between Saren and the geth. Ambassador, your petition to have him disbarred from the Spectres is denied."

"I'm glad to see justice was served," Saren said; his smugness obvious.

"This meeting is adjourned," said Tevos.

Shepard and Anderson walked away from the area and stood facing one another at the top of the stairs, Williams and Alenko standing behind their Commander. Shepard was fuming and Anderson was doing his best to get her to refocus her energy on formulating a plan of action. He knew Shepard well, and he knew that she would not be cowed that easily. He just had to wait for her to stop cussing and making detailed explanations about how she was going to rip Saren's spine from his body. She spotted Udina walking towards them and pulled herself together, pushing down her rage.

"It was a mistake bringing you into that hearing, Captain. You and Saren have too much history. It made the Council question our motives," Udina said.

"I know Saren. He's working with the geth for one reason: to exterminate the entire human race. Every colony we have is at risk. Every world we control is in danger. Even Earth isn't safe," Anderson insisted.

"We need to deal with Saren ourselves," Shepard agreed.

"As a Spectre, he's virtually untouchable. We need to find some way to expose him," Udina said holding his curled fingers to his mouth in thought.

"What about Garrus, that C-Sec investigator? We saw him arguing with the Executor," Kaidan offered.

 _Good thinking, Kaidan._

"That's right!" Williams added, "He was asking for more time to finish his report. Seems like he was close to finding something on Saren."

"Any idea where we could find him?" Shepard asked Udina.

"I have a contact in C-Sec who can help us track Garrus down. His name is Harkin," Udina said.

"Forget it," Anderson said. "They suspended Harkin last month. Drinking on the job. I won't waste my time with that loser."

"You won't have to. I don't want the Council using your past history with Saren as an excuse to ignore anything we turn up. Shepard will handle this," Udina said.

 _Udina, you worthless, treacherous, son-of-a-bitch. Still, I wouldn't wish this shit storm on Anderson._

"You can't just cut Captain Anderson out of this investigation," insisted Shepard.

"The ambassador's right. I need to step aside," Anderson said shaking his head.

"I need to take care of some business. Captain, meet me in my office later," Udina said before turning and walking away.

With Udina gone, Anderson turned back to Shepard, "Harkin's probably getting drunk at Chora's Den. It's a dingy little club in the lower section of the wards."

"I thought you said he was a drunken loser?" Shepard asked.

Anderson shrugged, "Couldn't hurt to go talk to him. Just be careful. I wouldn't call him reliable."

Shepard shifted a moment, stalling as she decided whether to bring up Anderson's history with Saren. She could tell it wasn't something he really wanted to talk about but if she was going to be responsible for bringing him down, she needed to know what Anderson's connection was to the rogue Spectre.

"You and Saren have a history. What happened?" Shepard finally asked.

"About twenty years ago, I was part of a mission in the Skyllian Verge. I was working with Saren to find and remove a known terrorist threat. Saren eliminated his target. But a lot of people died along the way. Innocent people. And the official records just covered it all up. But I saw how he operates. No conscience. No hesitation. He'd kill a thousand innocent civilians to end a war without a second thought.

Shepard held a hand out showing that the concept was one she understood all too well as a soldier, "Sometimes a thousand people must die so a million can live."

"But only if there's no other way. Saren doesn't even look for another option. He's twisted, broken. He likes the violence, the killing. And he knows how to cover his tracks," Anderson elaborated.

Shepard understood now, that changed things significantly. In the past, she'd had to make some tough calls and a lot of lives were lost but it was always when she couldn't find any other way around the matter. It was always something regrettable, something that haunted her dreams more often than not, but she took solace in knowing that the lives lost were not in vain.

They spent a few more minutes discussing the Council's actions and what leads they could follow. Anderson suggested that she might also speak to the volus banker, Barla Von. Shepard had met him briefly earlier when she was exploring the Presidium. He had hinted then about knowing his client's personal secrets, but Shepard had had no reason to suspect he might know something about Saren. Anderson said that there were rumors that Barla Von was an information agent for the Shadow Broker. Shepard hadn't heard anything about this Shadow Broker before so she asked about him. Anderson explained that the Shadow Broker was an anonymous individual who used agents spread out across the agency to gather information on people and organizations which he then sold to others. Anderson said he was headed to the ambassador's office before leaving Shepard and the others.

Shepard turned Williams and Alenko, "Thoughts?"

"I don't know, ma'am," Williams spoke up shrugging her shoulders. "It seems to me that the Council isn't going to accept any information we find about their beloved turian Spectre. I mean, he's not just a Spectre, but being a turian with a turian on the Council… I'm just not sure we'll be able to convince them of his guilt unless they hear a confession from Saren himself."

"I don't think that the Council would be that unreasonable. I don't think they'd go to bat for Saren just because he's a turian, even with the turian's being one of the Council races. Williams is right though, he is a Spectre, their own personal agent so it's going to take some pretty damning evidence before they'll be swayed."

Shepard grunted, rolling her shoulders, "Alright, let's track down this Vakarian and see what he knows. I guess we'll talk with Harkin, but I want to talk to this Barla Von again, too. Chora's Den is where Sha'ira said Septimus would be as well, so we'll start there."


	4. Chapter 3: Princess

**Chapter 3: Princess**

As they headed down the stairs, Williams pointed out a salarian squatted down next to one of the keepers. The keepers were strange, bug-like green aliens that lived on the Citadel. No one really seemed to know much about them, just that they moved about the Citadel keeping up with repairs and keeping everything in working order. It was against the law on the Citadel to disturb the keepers. Shepard approached the salarian who quickly stood up and tried to play dumb. She finally convinced him to tell her what he was doing and who he was. He said his name was Chorban and he was a scientist, he was scanning the keepers with a device he made in an attempt to understand more about the mysterious creatures. He seemed to be telling the truth, though Shepard wasn't extremely familiar with salarian body language and voice inflection. This Chorban was probably the darkest salarian she'd ever seen, and his eyes were just as dark making it harder for her to pick up on his eye movements. His skin was a very dark, rich brown that reminded her of the henna some humans on Earth used to decorate their skin. The coloration only got darker towards his horns. Salarians were amphibious, just like the frogs from Earth that Shepard thought they resembled. Either way, whatever he was doing, the keepers didn't seem to be 'disturbed' by it so she didn't really see the harm in helping him to gather his data. She was going to be running around all over the Citadel anyway, and with her being in the Alliance Navy she was less likely to catch any guff over the scanning. She had to admit, she was a little curious about the keepers herself, they didn't interact with other species and she didn't think that they even spoke.

Once back out on the Presidium, Shepard headed towards the Wards, assuming Udina had remembered to change her access level. She passed by a C-Sec officer and a hanar, the hanar was preaching about the 'enkindlers' and the officer was telling the hanar that he wasn't allowed to preach on the Presidium. Shepard stopped and asked what the problem was; sure she never understood why exactly the hanar viewed the protheans as gods or why they called them enkindlers. They weren't gods, gods don't go extinct or whatever the hell it was that happened to the protheans. _The Reapers. That's what happened to the protheans. They didn't even build the mass relays, even though that's what everyone thinks._ But the hanar shouldn't be given flak just for preaching about his religion. He wasn't hurting anyone. The C-Sec officer explained that preaching without an evangelical license was forbidden, but the hanar refused to get a license. Even if the hanar had a license, he would still be expected to only preach in the designated areas where it was allowed according to Council regulations. Shepard didn't really understand the need for a license, and she thought the idea of regulating where the hanar could preach was a bit unnecessary but it was apparently a regulation that all were expected to abide regardless of religious affiliation.

The C-Sec's superiors had asked him to find a solution that didn't upset the hanar; otherwise he would have just arrested him. Shepard took a minute to talk to the hanar, trying to convince him that he was in the wrong and should just get a license. The hanar said he didn't believe he should be made to buy a license to speak the truth of the enkindlers, but he finally admitted that he didn't have the 150 credits to buy one either. Seeing the fastest solution, Shepard purchased the license for him. It would have been cheaper to spend more time trying to convince the hanar but she had more important things to deal with.

Once down in the Wards, Shepard leaned against the railing for a moment to take in the view of the Citadel. Skycars zoomed by in lines, lights on buildings extended as far into the dark night as she could see.

"Big place," Alenko said in awe.

Williams rolled her eyes playfully, "Is that your professional opinion, sir?"

"This isn't a station, it's a city," Shepard said.

"There must be millions here. It can't be possible to track everyone coming and going," Alenko said.

"This makes Jump Zero look like a porta-john, and it's the largest deep space station the Alliance has," Williams pointed out.

"Jump Zero is big, but this is a whole other scale. Look at the ward arms, how do they keep all of that mass from flying apart?" Alenko wondered.

"The Council represents more races than I thought. No wonder they're careful with newcomers," said Shepard.

"They probably just want to keep everything running. It has to be hard keeping all these cultures working together," Alenko mused.

"Or maybe they just don't like humans," Williams suggested.

"Why not, we've got oceans, beautiful women, this emotion called love. According to the old vids, we have everything they want," Shepard said.

"When you put it that way, there's no reason they wouldn't like you," Alenko said before correcting himself. "I mean us, er, humans, ma'am."

"You don't take much shore leave, do you LT?" William's asked Alenko.

"Alright, laugh it up, Chief. I appreciate the thought, Alenko, but we're on duty here," Shepard said.

"Uh, aye, aye, ma'am," Alenko said.

"I'll walk drag, ma'am," William's said.

Alenko was right; this was a very, very big place. Much bigger than she thought, with millions of people living on the Citadel. She pulled up a search on the Citadel using her omni-tool; apparently the population was sitting at 13.2 million, excluding the keepers. A very big city.

Shepard's eyes slid to Alenko, he was starting to get less formal when speaking to Shepard, she had already noticed after the beacon incident back on Eden Prime but she was pretty sure that after that last little slip of the tongue that he was developing a crush, she'd have to nip that in the bud. He was cute, though, and he seemed like a genuinely nice guy. Still, she wasn't interested in dating anyone in the Alliance, things got too complicated when you fraternized and she would crush that man's heart, she could already tell. He was too good, too kind, and Shepard was just a little too jaded and ill-tempered for someone like him. _Oh thank gods._

Shepard pushed away from the railing, chuckling at Williams as she made her way towards Chora's Den. She heard someone call out to her and looked around, spotting a woman standing near one of the support beams waving to get her attention. Shepard stepped over to the human woman and she introduced herself as Emily Wong, said she was an investigative journalist. She was working an angle against someone named Fist and was wondering if Shepard would be willing to pass along any information on the crime boss, or any other news worthy bits she came across during her own investigation. Shepard agreed to help the woman if she came across anything before continuing on her way.

Passing by some merchant stalls, she decided to stop at one run by a volus. He seemed far friendlier than Din Korlack had, asking her if she had just come back from the colonies. Shepard wasn't sure what colonies he was talking about in particular.

"Oh, my mistake, Earth-clan. I assumed… it doesn't matter," he said shaking his head. "Feros, Noveria? Well, if you haven't heard of them yet, I'm sure you will soon. But it doesn't matter where you hail from; my goods are available to all."

"What can you tell me about Noveria?" Shepard asked she wasn't letting this one go.

"The corporate capital of the Attican Traverse. Very cold, very snowy," he explained. "I don't get too many clients from there. They all have their own private suppliers."

"I'd like to know more about Feros," Shepard said.

"It's an old prothean world. Their buildings still litter the surface. The humans aren't the first to colonize it, but they are the most recent," he paused a moment. "Hmm, I just realized I haven't heard from my contact on that planet for some time. Ah, well, I'm sure he's fine."

That really didn't tell her much, but she would take whatever information the volus gave her. She made a note on her omni-tool to remind her to look into Noveria and Feros when she was back on the Normandy. There had to be a more specific reason why the volus thought she had just come from one of those colonies. As she was walking away from the shop and about to head down a flight of stairs, a man standing near the stairs spoke to her.

"Is that really… wow! It's you!" the man said.

Shepard paused and looked around her, wondering if he was talking to someone else. She didn't see anyone else nearby and he seemed to be looking right at her. She raised an eyebrow to Williams and Alenko before stepping closer to the human.

"You're Commander Shepard, the hero of Eden Prime! I am so honored to meet you!" he exuded a giddy excitement.

Shepard held out a hand for the man to shake, "Nice to meet you. And you are…?"

"My name is Conrad. Conrad Verner. They say you killed more than a hundred geth on Eden Prime!" He said making a fist and holding it up in front of his body.

"I spent most of my time trying to stay alive and help the colonists," Shepard said, not at all comfortable with the exaggerated praise.

"Hey, I know you're probably busy, but do you have time for a quick autograph?" Conrad asked.

Shepard thought the request was odd but did as he asked, "Anything for a fan. Here."

"Thanks, I really appreciate it. My wife is going to be so impressed!" Conrad said. "I'll let you get back to work, but next time you're on Earth, I'd love to buy you a drink! Thanks again!"

When Conrad walked away, Shepard turned to face her team, "I don't want to talk about it."

Williams and Alenko both snickered but kept their comments to themselves, mostly. They continued down the steps and rounded a few stalls before going through another door. The door let out in a small, empty space that held a rapid transit station, a doorway leading to a wraparound walkway to Chora's Den, and a staircase leading up to a closed door. _Assassins._ As soon as Shepard stepped through the doorway that would lead them to Chora's Den, her team was ambushed by two turians. Quickly she ducked down behind the thigh high wall that stretched around the walkway. Alenko and Williams were right behind her, following her lead. The assassins weren't very well armored and went down in seconds.

"Those were Saren's men," Alenko said.

"Probably. I heard one of them say 'that's her' when they saw me. Unless, of course, I've managed to make new enemies on the Citadel already. Come on, let's get in there and find Harkin," Shepard responded.

They entered the bar, dim lights and music made the environment more alluring as scantily clad asari and human women danced on platforms. She moved left, following the flow of the circular room and stopped when she saw two krogan arguing. Krogan were the brutes of the galaxy, tall and stocky with large humps on their backs. They were a violent species, from what she knew, drawn to war and frequently taking up trades that catered to their urge to fight.

"Back off, Wrex. Fist told us to take you down if you showed up," one krogan said to the other leaning in close and pointing in the other man's face.

Shepard instinctively put her hand on her pistol, if this turned into a physical altercation this whole bar would be turned upside down in minutes. One pissed off krogan alone is enough to terrify most people, but having two of them go at it in the middle of a crowded place would definitely cause a panic.

The one called Wrex crossed his arms and calmly asked, "What are you waiting for? I'm standing right here." His voice took on a more threatening tone as he leaned forward slightly and said, "This is Fist's only chance. If he's smart, he'll take it."

"He's not coming out, Wrex. End of story," the first krogan said.

"This story is just beginning," Wrex promised.

Wrex turned and walked past Shepard and her team, "Out of my way, humans. I have no quarrel with you."

"What was that all about?" Alenko asked.

"Who knows, let's just try not to get caught in the middle," Williams answered.

With the krogan out of the way, Shepard spotted Harkin sitting at a table by himself. _Fade._ As she approached the table, the man started trying to flirt with her, clearly drunk.

"Hey there, sweetheart. You looking for some fun? 'Cause I gotta say that soldier getup looks real good on that bod of yours," Harkin said. "Why don't you sit your sweet little ass down beside old Harkin? Have a drink and we'll see where this goes."

Shepard sucked a breath in between her teeth, her jaw clenched as she slowly let the breath go again. This guy was begging for her to lay him on his ass. She tried to calm herself down enough to respond civilly, but failed. You have got to be fucking kidding me, she thought, who would a line like that even work on?

"I'd rather drink a cup of acid after chewing on a razor blade," Shepard bit out.

"You trying to hurt my feelings? You gotta do better than that. After twenty years with C-Sec, I've been called every name in the book, princess," Harkin said.

"Call me princess again and you'll be picking your teeth up off the floor. Now tell me where Garrus is!" Shepard was seething.

"Okay, okay," Harkin said holding up his palms. "Just relax. Garrus, you say? Heh. You must be one of Anderson's crew. Poor bastard's still trying to bring Saren down, eh? I know where Garrus is. But you gotta tell me something first. Did the captain let you in on his big secret?"

"Is there something I should know about the captain?" Shepard asked; she was really not in the mood for this man's mind games.

"The captain use to be a Spectre. Didn't know that, did you? It was all very hush-hush. The first human ever given that honor. And then he blew it. Screwed up his mission so bad they kicked him out. Of course, he blames Saren. Says the turian set him up."

"He said they covered all this up. How did you hear about it?" Shepard asked.

"I spent twenty years working cases here on the Citadel. People on this station love to talk. Secrets are like herpes. If you got 'em you might as well spread 'em around," Harkin said.

Shepard shook her head in disgust, "You're a pig."

"Just noticed that now, did you?" Harkin jibbed.

"Just tell me where Garrus went," Shepard insisted, trying to get the man back on topic.

"Garrus was sniffing around Dr. Michel's office. She runs the med clinic on the other side of the wards. Last I heard, he was going back there," Harkin finally said.

That was all she needed to hear, she couldn't stand another minute talking to that asshole. She made her way around the bar until she found Septimus nursing a drink.

"Commander? Hmph. What do you want?" Septimus asked when Shepard approached.

"I'm here on Sha'ira's behalf. Your lies are hurting her," Shepard said crossing her arms.

"Good. Her lies have been killing me for days," Septimus replied. "I've seen a lot of horrible things in my days and there's only one woman in this damn galaxy that helps me forget it," he said looking down at the table in front of him.

"So if you feel that way, then why spread lies about her?" Alenko asked.

"'Cause she rejected me. Me! Septimus Oraka, general of the turian fleet!" Septimus said pulling his shoulders back square and puffing his chest out.

"I think I can see why you're upset, but spreading these lies won't make it better," Shepard stated.

"Look, kid, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but don't waste your time," the general said having lost his bluster once more.

"You need to start acting like a general if you want to beat this," Shepard scolded.

"I spent all my life acting like a general and what did it get me? Hmm? No, those days are over. I'll just be what I am: a tired, lonely, worn-out soldier," Septimus said, leaning back in his chair and draping an arm over the back.

"Do you really want to be remembered this way?" Shepard asked, not buying the act.

"No. I'd rather not be remembered at all. But I see your point," he conceded. "So you think it's that easy? Just straighten up and act like a general?"

"I don't think it could hurt," Alenko said.

"Huh. Maybe you're right, Commander. Sha'ira's worth the effort… even if she won't have me back," Septimus said.

"This is no place for someone of your stature, General," Shepard said.

"Alright. I'll go to her… after I've had a cold shower. Or two," he said before changing the topic. "Say, you're a bright kid. Would you be interested in earning a few extra credits?"

"What do you want me to do?" she asked.

"There's an elcor diplomat out there who believes Sha'ira gave up his secrets," Septimus started to explain.

"Why does he think that?" Alenko asked.

"Because I told him. Look, I just need you to convince him of the truth," Septimus said.

"What makes you think he'll believe me?" asked Shepard.

"You'll bring him proof. Take this datapad. It shows where I got my info. It will exonerate Sha'ira and convince the elcor," Septimus said handing Shepard a datapad.

"Who am I taking it to, and where is he?" Shepard thought she already knew but wanted confirmation.

"His name is Xeltan. He's an elcor diplomat. He's over in the embassies complaining about Sha'ira. Well, here's to soldiers acting like soldiers," Septimus said before knocking back the rest of his drink. "Thanks, Commander. You know, you might make a good general yourself one day."

"Hard to imagine a general like that getting so upset about a woman," Alenko said.

"That's because you don't understand women, Kaidan," Williams replied.

As they left Chora's Den, Williams asked why Anderson wouldn't have told them that he used to be a Spectre. Alenko suggested that Harkin might be lying about it all. Shepard didn't know, but she thought she might bring it up to Anderson sometime. She didn't like him keeping things from her, but everyone was entitled to their secrets. Shepard led the others back upstairs, passed the stairs that the signs said let do C-Sec, and straight to the med clinic. It never occurred to her that she had no reason to just know where the clinic was, or where Chora's Den was, or where anything on the Citadel was for that matter.

When the door opened, Shepard saw Garrus creeping down low around a partition wall, gun ready. Across the partition, she saw a woman in a lab coat being threatened by a group of men.

"I didn't tell anyone, I swear!" the woman said.

"That was smart, Doc," one of the men said.

"Now, if Garrus comes around, you stay smart. Keep your mouth shut or we'll…" the man saw Shepard step into the room and draw her pistol, he stopped mid-sentence and grabbed the doctor, spinning her around with an arm wrapped around her throat.

He pointed his gun at Shepard and roared, "Who are you?"

Shepard leveled her pistol at the man, maneuvering herself around the room to draw his attention to her and keep it away from Garrus, "Let her go!"

Garrus nodded once and then when the man was looking at Shepard he took aim and fired, shooting the man right in the head. Blood splattered all over the doctor as the man fell to the floor. Garrus stood up and walked out into the room, pointing his pistol at the other two men who took a step back before steeling their resolve for a gunfight. She saw Garrus take cover near the doctor while she and her team advanced on the thugs. The first two weren't able to get to cover quickly enough; she and Williams took them out first. The other two hid towards the back of the med clinic. Shepard saw a fire containment system on the floor near the man hiding behind a support beam, she shot the fire containment system and it exploded sending shrapnel and a toxic substance out over the man. Alenko used his biotic Throw to knock the storage crate the other man was hiding behind over, effectively pinning the man beneath the crate while Shepard got into position to finish off both men. She then headed back over to where Garrus was now standing, tending to Dr. Michel. The woman was clearly shaken up.

"Perfect timing, Shepard. Gave me a clear shot at that bastard," Garrus said by way of greeting.

"You took him down clean," Shepard said having been impressed by the shot.

"Sometimes you get lucky," Garrus said.

Turning back to the other woman, Garrus asked, "Dr. Michel? Are you hurt?"

Dr. Michel smoothed down her hair, "No. I'm okay. Thanks to you. All of you."

"I know those men threatened you. But if you tell us who they work for, we can protect you," Shepard promised.

"They work for Fist. They wanted to shut me up, keep me from telling Garrus about the quarian," Dr. Michel said.

"What quarian?" Shepard asked confused.

"A few days ago, a quarian came by my office. She'd been shot, but she wouldn't tell me who did it. I could tell she was scared, probably on the run," Dr. Michael said as she started pacing. "She asked me about the Shadow Broker. She wanted to trade information in exchange for a safe place to hide."

"Where is she now?" Shepard asked, fearing the worst had already come to pass for this quarian.

"I put her in contact with Fist. He's an agent for the Shadow Broker," Dr. Michael said.

"Not any more. Now he works for Saren, and the Shadow Broker isn't too happy about it," Garrus informed Shepard.

"Fist betrayed the Shadow Broker? That's stupid, even for him. Saren must have made him quite the offer," said Dr. Michel.

Garrus gestured as she spoke, "That quarian must have something Saren wants. Something worth crossing the Shadow Broker."

"She must have something that proves he's a traitor. Did the quarian mention anything about Saren? Or the geth?" Shepard asked.

"She did! The information she was going to trade. She said it had something to do with the geth," Dr. Michel said.

"She must be able to link Saren to the geth. There's no way the Council can ignore this!" Garrus insisted.

"Time we paid Fist a visit," Shepard said.

"This is your show, Shepard. But I want to bring Saren down as much as you do. I'm coming with you!" Garrus said.

Shepard hesitated, "You're a turian. Why do you want to bring him down?"

Garrus shook his head the irritation apparent in his flanging voice, "I couldn't find the proof I needed in my investigation. But I knew what was really going on. Saren's a traitor to the Council, and a disgrace to my people!"

Obviously she had pushed a button and upset the turian but he had made his case, "Welcome aboard, Garrus."

Calmed by her acceptance, the heat left Garrus' voice, "You know, we aren't the only ones going after Fist. The Shadow Broker hired a krogan bounty hunter named Wrex to take him out."

"Yeah, we saw him in the bar," Williams offered.

"A krogan might come in handy," Shepard said as the voice buried in the recesses of her mind laughed hysterically. _You have no idea._

Shepard glanced over her shoulder at Williams wondering what it was that the woman found so funny. Williams was looking at Garrus calmly but glanced at Shepard when she saw her turn her head. Williams twitched an eyebrow inquisitively before Shepard looked back at Garrus.

"Last I heard, he was at the C-Sec Academy," said Garrus.

"What's he doing there?" Alenko asked.

"Fist accused him of making threats. We brought Wrex in for a little talk. If you hurry, you can catch him at the academy before he leaves," explained Garrus.

Shepard asked Alenko to go find Anderson and fill him in on the details of what the found and where they were going. Anderson wouldn't like her plan to confront Fist, making waves on the Citadel wouldn't help their case at all but Udina had convinced Anderson to let her take over the investigation so as Garrus had just pointed out, this was her show. She planned to keep Anderson informed, though and she would always hear his advice even if she chose to do things differently. Alenko agreed and left to the embassies, thinking that Anderson might still be with Udina.


	5. Chapter 4: Irrefutable Evidence, Refuted

**Chapter 4: Irrefutable Evidence, Refuted.**

Shepard left the med clinic with Garrus and Alenko. It felt weird, referring to Garrus by his first name when she called Kaidan and Ashley by their last names but he wasn't Alliance, and he wasn't under her command, officially. Maybe in time she'd start using less formal terms with Alenko and Williams, or perhaps she'd just stick to her ways and start calling Garrus, Vakarian instead if he stuck around long enough.

She led them down the stairs and to the elevator that would take them to the C-Sec Academy. It was strange having Garrus on her team and having Alenko gone. She'd never really worked this closely with any other species, and with him being C-Sec, would he listen to her when the bullets started flying? _He'll have your back; he'll always have your back. Even when others come and go, Garrus will be there until the end._ Williams will keep an eye on him, Shepard thought as the news broadcast in the elevator talked about the krogan suing a company called Binary Helix for failing to cure the genophage. The genophage was a genetic mutation created by salarian scientists and used against the krogan as a means to end the Krogan Rebellions. Shepard didn't know much about it, other than what everyone learned in school. Apparently the genophage somehow limited the number of children a krogan could have, stifling their population growth.

The elevator stopped and the three of them made their way up a short flight of stairs and over to the heavily guarded krogan. Shepard recognized him as being the same Wrex they saw earlier at Chora's Den. He actually looked like he was a little smaller than most other krogan she had seen, but that wasn't saying much when compared to most of the other species. This one had bright red plating on the top of his head, with scars that looked very much like something had clawed him, tearing through the surface of the plating and down the right side of his face and neck. Somehow, Shepard doubted that whoever or whatever did that to the krogan was breathing any more. Shepard couldn't help but to think that krogan looked like giant, terrifying turtles. She realized that it probably wasn't polite for her to keep comparing the other species to Earth animals; she would certainly never speak it aloud but her mind kept making the connections anyway. Who knows, maybe they did evolve from similar creatures? After all, humans were primates evolved over time from apes. It is laughable to think that someone wouldn't see the similarities between humans and apes, although she learned that even in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, many humans use to deny the evolutionary link with vehemence. Yeah… best she kept her mouth shut on the topic, especially with the krogan who could probably crush her skull with one hand.

One of the C-Sec officers surrounding Wrex told him, "Witnesses saw you making threats in Fist's bar. Stay away from him."

"I don't take orders from you," Wrex replied.

"This is your only warning, Wrex," the officer said leaning in towards Wrex.

The man had balls, that was for sure. Shepard doubted he would have been so quick to 'warn' Wrex if they were alone and standing anywhere other than C-Sec. Wrex leaned towards the officer, clearly not intimidated. He moved his face a little closer to the officer's with each word, causing the officer to flinch and move back.

"You should warn Fist. I will kill him," Wrex said.

"You want me to arrest you?" the officer said taking another step back.

"I want you to try," Wrex goaded the officer.

A smile twitched at the corners of Shepard's mouth. Wrex looked over then and saw her group waiting. He walked past the C-Sec officer and towards Shepard without further comment to the officers. The officer tried to save face, telling Wrex to get out of there, but he was beyond the krogan's notice at that point.

"Do I know you, human?" Wrex asked Shepard.

"My name's Shepard. I'm going after Fist. Thought you might want to come along," Shepard said choosing her words carefully.

"Shepard? Commander Shepard? I've heard a lot about you," Wrex said looking at Shepard a little more closely with his giant red eyes.

"We're both warriors, Shepard. Out of respect, I'll give you fair warning. I'm going to kill Fist," Wrex said as he closed the distance to Shepard and leaned in close to deliver the final statement.

"Fist knows you're coming. We'll have a better chance if we all work together," Garrus said.

"My people have a saying: Seek the enemy of your enemy, and you will find a friend," Wrex said.

Shepard extended a hand, "Glad to have you on the team, Wrex."

"Let's go. I hate to keep Fist waiting," Wrex said as he rolled his head around on his neck.

"Williams, you're dismissed. Find Alenko and enjoy some downtime on the Citadel or return to the Normandy. I want to go in as quiet as possible on this one and these two know the area better than the three of us. I'll call you when we're done here," Shepard said.

"Ma'am," Williams saluted. "A moment, if I may?"

Shepard nodded her head and held a hand up, palm out towards Garrus and Wrex, "I'll just be a minute."

She walked a few feet away with Williams and the two women turned to face each other, talking in hushed voices, "What is it, Williams?"

"I apologize if this is insubordinate, ma'am, but I'm concerned about leaving you with two unknowns without backup," Williams said.

A smile tugged at Shepard's lips, she could see the genuine worry in the Gunnery Chief's eyes and the furrow in her brow. Shepard clasped her hands behind her back and tried to convey her confidence through her body language.

"I will be fine, Williams. Thank you for your concern. I will contact you as soon as this matter is dealt with."

"Ma'am," Williams said and saluted again before turning to leave.

"And Ashley? Try to relax while you have some down time, yeah?" Shepard called out.

Williams turned around when Shepard called her by name, she smiled wide and said, "Yes ma'am!"

Huh, that wasn't so bad, Shepard thought. I'm sure I'll revert to calling her Williams in the field but that's expected protocol. _No, I guess she isn't all bad. She is one hell of a soldier, and can handle a gun like nobody's business. She is xenophobic though. One of them will have to die. One of them always has to die. There is no stopping it… trust me, I've tried. Better to keep your distance, don't get attached. One of them will die; the other will break your heart when you need them the most._ Shepard made her way back over to Wrex and Garrus.

"Let's move," she said.

They made their way back to Chora's Den only to find that the place was eerily quiet from the outside. Garrus suggested that Fist knew they were coming and closed the place down, Shepard drew her pistol, Garrus and Wrex following her lead just as easily as Alenko and Williams did. Just as Shepard approached the door, it slid open revealing the bartender behind the bar with a gun pointed right at her. She quickly fired off two shots, taking the bartender down before taking cover with her back to the wall next to the door. _Men hiding around the corner next to Fist's office, men above the bar up by the lights, and spread throughout the room. Don't forget the krogan bouncer you saw earlier, and for fucksake don't let him get close to you._

Shepard quickly learned that Wrex was a biotic, that wasn't very common in krogan from what she heard. They focused on taking down the men that could be seen from their position of cover, and waited a moment for any others to step into the line of sight. When no more did, but her scanner still showed several enemies, Shepard entered the bar and circled around, gun pointed high up towards the light fixtures of the bar. Something in her gut told her there would be someone up there; it only made sense it was a good sniper position. She laid eyes on the man, right where she expected him to be and knocked him off his perch with a biotic Throw. He fell from the light platform and hit the bar below, hard. One of her squad finished him off with a shot, she didn't see which one. She swiftly turned to take cover against the wall next to the short hall that led back to Fist's office. Two men were there, taking cover behind crates, but they were aggressive and spent too much time standing and firing wildly. Easy enough targets, they took her shields down though and a sudden shotgun blast from across the room hit her hard. Shepard moved out of the incoming krogan's sights and activated the Medi-gel release on her omni-tool.

Feeling the cool, numbing substance wash over her wound was a relief. She knew her flesh would begin knitting itself back together as she turned to face the krogan. She leveled her gun at the krogan and using her marksmanship took him down fast… the others might have helped… a little. Two more men waited just inside the hall door, these men weren't combatants; they were simple laborers. What the hell was Fist doing using these men to fight? Better yet, why the hell were these men fighting? She couldn't spare the time to worry about it, they were firing on her and her team and that meant she had to take them down. On the wall behind them was a weapon locker, Shepard took the time to liberate the locker of its weapons before anymore foolish bartenders or busboys decided to take up arms.

Another door opened when Shepard got near, she couldn't see far into the room, there was some sort of alcove or something just past a wall. Maybe Fist's office? Another door remained closed directly across from them. Shepard put her back to the wall and inched her way to the corner so she could see into the room. She spotted Fist as he pushed some buttons on his desk and ran for cover. _Turrets._ Garrus moved to the other wall opposite of her just as two defensive turrets popped up and started firing. Turrets? Seriously? Who the fuck has turrets in their office? Damn it, Shepard thought. She used a Throw on the turret on Garrus' side and he finished it off immediately. Wrex aimed a couple of shots at the second turret, nearly taking it down but not before she took a few shots. Damn it! Shepard used another application of Medi-gel, cursing the turrets and Fist under her breath before turning back in to finish off the turret. Garrus took a final shot at Fist and the man went down, screaming bloody murder.

"Wait! Don't kill me! I surrender!" Fist screamed; holding out a pleading hand as Shepard approached.

"Tell me where the quarian is and I won't have to shoot you in the kneecaps," Shepard said, still more than a little pissed off about the wall of men she had to kill to get to Fist – and the damn turrets.

"She's not here. I don't know where she is. That's the truth!" Fist swore, desperate for the woman pointing a gun at his head to believe him.

"He's no use to you now. Let me kill him," Wrex said.

"Wait! Wait!" Fist said, cowering. "I don't know where the quarian is, but I know where you can find her. The quarian isn't here. Said she'd only deal with the Shadow Broker himself."

"Face to face? Impossible! Even I was hired through an agent," Wrex scoffed.

Shepard allowed the man to stand, when he was up on his feet he said, "Nobody meets the Shadow Broker. Ever. Even I don't know his true identity. But she didn't know that. I told her I'd set a meeting up. But when she shows up, it'll be Saren's men waiting for her."

Shepard closed the distance between herself and Fist, pushing her pistol up under his chin. The man tried to lean away from the gun, putting his hands out in surrender. She really, really wanted to shoot this man.

"Tell me where that meeting is before I blow your lying head off!" Shepard threatened, pulling the gun back and shaking it in his face.

"Here on the wards. The back alley by the markets. She's supposed to meet them right now. You can make it if you hurry," Fist offered.

Wrex pulled out his shotgun, and blew a hole through Fist. Shepard wasn't expecting the shot, so it startled her and she turned to the krogan wide eyed.

"What are you doing?!" Garrus yelled at Wrex, the flanging in his voice becoming more apparent with the emotional outburst.

"The Shadow Broker paid me to kill him. I don't leave jobs half done," Wrex said simply.

"A lot of people died because of him. He had it coming. Now let's move. We have to save that quarian!" Shepard ordered.

Shepard made a mental note to talk to Wrex about his actions later. Even if Fist deserved to be shot, and worse, she needed Wrex to know that if he was going to be working with her, he was expected to wait for orders in this type of situation. Shepard still had questions for Fist, questions about Saren, but now she couldn't ask them. She didn't have time to dwell on that, they had to get to that quarian before Saren's men killed her. Shepard's eye caught on an optical storage disc and she scooped it up on her way to the door.

They made their way back to the main bar area only to find it overrun with more armed men, they were going to have to fight their way out and they had to do it fast. Ducking behind one of the crates in the hall outside of Fist's office, Shepard began firing on the men ordering her squad to do the same. Just as she was about to fire, Wrex moved out in front of her and she nearly shot him in the back. She made another mental note to talk to Wrex about staying the hell out of her way in a firefight. They took down the two men that she could see from that angle, so she moved over to the wall and inched her way to the edge. She turned to look out into the room and came face to face with a man who was just on the opposite side of the wall from her. She brought her pistol up fast and fired two shots into his face; he dropped to the ground as she ducked back behind the wall. Garrus' Sabotage capabilities were coming in handy, maybe even just as much as Wrex's shotgun and brute strength. A few more moments of ducking in and out of cover firing on enemies and Shepard heard Garrus' voice announce, "Perimeter secure."

She didn't waste time checking to see if he was right, instead she bolted for the door. They were running out of time. _Left. Left. Left, go left!_ Shepard tore through the bar and back out onto the wraparound walkway, careening around the corner to the left and up the stairs to the door she noticed earlier. She wasn't sure how she knew, but this door was going to lead to the alley Fist was talking about. She smacked her hand down on the button to open the door and started moving forward, pistol out before the door had finished opening.

The alley was filled with an eerie, blood red ambient light. Shepard tried not to take that as a bad omen as she rushed up a flight of stairs and down the service hall. She reached a flight of stairs leading down a ways, down the stairs she saw the quarian woman being approached by a turian. Across the way, she could see figures moving behind a crate. Behind them, another set of stairs led up to another door.

"Did you bring it?" the turian asked the quarian.

"Where's the Shadow Broker? Where's Fist?" the quarian asked as the turian moved in close to her.

The turian started running a hand down the side of the quarian's face mask, "They'll be here. Where's the evidence?"

He ran his hand down her arm and moved to her hip before the quarian shoved his hand away saying, "No way. The deal's off."

Two figures in full armor, salarians Shepard thought, stepped out from behind a crate and drew weapons. The quarian threw a flash grenade or something at them and dove for cover, Shepard couldn't tell what it was for sure from her position. Shepard and her crew moved in quick to help the quarian take out her attackers. They tried to hide behind some nearby crates but Shepard had a higher position and was able to hit them without a problem. When they were down, she moved to the quarian to check on her.

"Fist set me up! I knew I couldn't trust him!" the quarian said sounding agitated.

Quarian's required full body suits and respirators like the volus, though they wore softer suits, more flexible and with a semi-transparent face mask. The masks were tinted though, so only the vague shape of glowing eyes and a nose could be made out through the protective material. Like the turians, quarians had only three thick fingers though they lacked the claws turians had. Their ankle joints were located higher up than on humans, giving them an unusual bend to their legs much like the turians. Shepard remembered that quarians had extremely poor immune systems, and basically everything made them sick. If they got injured, or even if just their suit got tore, they would get an infection.

"Were you hurt in the fight?" Shepard asked.

"I know how to look after myself. Not that I don't appreciate the help. Who are you?" the quarian asked warily.

"My name's Shepard. I'm looking for evidence to prove Saren's a traitor," Shepard said, hoping to ease the other woman's fears.

"Then I have a chance to repay you for saving my life. But not here. We need to go somewhere safe," the quarian said.

"We could take her to the human embassy. Your ambassador will want to see this anyway," Garrus suggested.

Shepard paused in the alley to scan the keeper that hadn't seemed the least bit disturbed by the gun fire. Garrus' mandibles fluttered slightly, and he cleared his throat.

"You're, ah, not supposed to 'disturb' the keepers," Garrus said.

Shepard looked at Garrus, looked at the keeper, and then back to Garrus, "Doesn't look disturbed to me."

Garrus chuckled, "Yeah, they never do. What is that thing?"

"Scanning device. Gathering information for a salarian scientist. I mean, c'mon, it's not hurting them," A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, "You going to arrest me, officer?"

"Why do I get the feeling that any such attempt would end with me on my ass?" Garrus asked.

Shepard smiled and kept walking as Wrex's booming laugh echoed off the alley walls. They made their way to the embassies, and as soon as she entered Udina started in on her.

"You're not making my life easy, Shepard. Firefights in the wards? An all-out assault on Chora's Den? Do you know how many…" Udina cut off when he turned around and realized Shepard wasn't alone.

"Who's this? A quarian? What are you up to, Shepard?" Udina asked.

"Making your day, Ambassador. She has information linking Saren to the geth," Shepard said, a hint of smugness seeping into her voice.

"Really? Maybe you better start at the beginning, Miss…?" Udina asked the quarian.

"My name is Tali. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya," Tali introduced herself.

"We don't see many quarians here. Why did you leave the flotilla?" Udina asked.

"I was on my Pilgrimage, my rite of passage into adulthood," Tali said.

"I've never heard of this before," Shepard admitted.

"It is a tradition among my people. When we reach maturity, we leave the ships of our parents and our people behind. Alone, we search the stars, only returning to the flotilla once we have discovered something of value. In this way, we prove ourselves worthy of adulthood," Tali explained.

"What kinds of things do you look for?" Shepard could tell that Udina wanted her to shut up so that Tali would get back to the evidence, but she was curious and enjoyed the chance to rile the ambassador.

"It could be resources like food or fuel. Or some type of useful technology. Or even knowledge that will make life easier on the flotilla. Through our Pilgrimage, we prove that we will contribute to the community, rather than being a burden on our limited resources," Tali explained, a hint of pride evident in her voice.

"Tell us what you found," Shepard said.

"During my travels, I began hearing reports of geth. Since they drove my people into exile, the geth have never ventured beyond the Veil. I was curious. I tracked a patrol of geth to an uncharted world. I waited for one to become separated from its unit. Then I disabled it and removed its memory core," Tali said.

"I thought the geth fried their memory cores when they died. Some kind of defense mechanism," Captain Anderson said.

"How did you manage to preserve the memory core?" Shepard asked Tali.

"My people created the geth. If you're quick, careful, and lucky small caches of data can sometimes be recovered," Tali said. "Most of the core was wiped clean. But I salvaged something from its audio banks."

Tali opened her omni-tool and began to play a recording, Shepard could easily tell that it was Saren speaking.

"Eden Prime was a major victory! The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit," Saren said on the recording.

"That's Saren's voice. This proves he was involved in the attack!" Anderson said excitedly.

"He said Eden Prime brought him one step closer to finding the Conduit. Any idea what that means?" Shepard asked.

 _The Conduit is a backdoor onto the Citadel. It's hidden on Ilos, and Saren is going to use it to attack the Citadel. Listen to me! Listen goddamnit, if you can get there first you can shut it down, keep Saren from using the Conduit to access the Citadel. You can save so many lives and maybe stop this crap from ever happening. Do you hear me? Damnit do you hear me? LISTEN!_ Shepard winced as a pain shot through her head; she pinched the bridge of her nose for a moment before shaking it off.

"The Conduit must have something to do with the beacon. Maybe it's some kind of prothean technology… like a weapon," Anderson said.

"Wait… there's more. Saren wasn't working alone," Tali interjected, replaying the recording from the beginning.

"Eden Prime was a major victory! The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit," the recording played.

"And one step closer to the return of the reapers," a female voice responded.

 _Benezia, you poor fool._

"I don't recognize that other voice. The one talking about reapers," Udina said.

"I feel like I've heard that name before…," Shepard said wringing her hands; searching her memory. _Yes, the reapers. The bloody fucking reapers! They're coming and they're going to kill everyone if you don't stop them. And if I can't figure out how to make you hear me, it's just going to keep happening again and again. I can't keep doing this, I can't. You need to listen to me!_

"According to the memory core, the reapers were hyper-advanced machine race that existed 50,000 years ago," Tali said. "The reapers hunted the protheans to total extinction, and then they vanished. At least, that's what the geth believe."

"Sounds a little far-fetched," Udina said crossing his arms.

"The vision on Eden Prime – I understand it now. I saw the protheans being wiped out by the reapers," Shepard said scratching her head, uncomfortable to be talking about the vision again.

"The geth revere the reapers as gods, the pinnacle of non-organic life. And they believe Saren knows how to bring the reapers back," Tali said.

"The Council is just going to love this!" Udina pouted.

"The reapers are a threat to every species in Citadel space. We have to tell them," Shepard insisted although she wasn't happy about the prospect either.

"No matter what they think about the rest of this, those audio files prove Saren's a traitor," Anderson insisted, fixated on bringing Saren down.

"The captain's right. We need to present this to the Council right away," Udina said.

"What about her? The quarian?" Wrex asked.

"My name is Tali!" she asserted. "You saw me in the alley, Commander. You know what I can do. Let me come with you."

"I thought you were on your Pilgrimage?" Shepard asked.

"The Pilgrimage proves we are willing to give of ourselves for the greater good. What does it say about me if I turn my back on this?" Tali insisted, "Saren is a danger to the entire galaxy. My Pilgrimage can wait."

Shepard nodded, "I'll take all the help I can get."

"Thanks. You won't regret this," Tali said moving to stand next to Shepard.

"Anderson and I will go ahead to get things ready with the Council. Take a few minutes to collect yourself, then meet us in the Tower," Udina said before leaving.

Shepard took a minute to contact Ashley pulling up a vid comm on her omni-tool. Williams face popped up on the screen looking relieved.

"Commander Shepard!" Ashley said, "You're alright. Good. I don't think the LT would have taken it very well if you got squashed by a krogan."

Wrex chuckled and Ashley's face went a little white, "And… he's still with you. Sorry."

"Alright, alright, Chief! Really, a guy makes one slip of the tongue and he never gets to hear the end of it," Kaidan's voice broke through in the background.

Shepard smiled, "It's okay, Williams. I'm fine, really. Listen, I'm in the ambassador's office right now. I just spoke with Anderson and Udina; they're going to set up a meeting with the Council. We took down Fist and found the quarian… ah, Tali," Shepard said glancing at Tali briefly with an apologetic smile, "She has an audio recording she recovered from a geth memory core. It clearly has Saren's voice confessing to the attacks on Eden Prime. There's more to it, of course… nothing is ever easy, but I'll fill you and Alenko in later. For now, if he wants to stay with us," Shepard paused and looked at Wrex, raising an eyebrow in question, "I'm sending Wrex to the Normandy. Help him get set up somewhere. I'm keeping Garrus and Tali with me to have at the Council meeting; I think the Council will be more willing to listen with a C-Sec officer present."

Wrex, rolled his head around on his shoulders before slamming one meaty fist into the palm of his other hand, "Sure, my work here is done. I'm open to helping you crack some skulls!"

Shepard chuckled and turned back to the vid comm, "He's on his way. I'll see you soon."

Shepard disconnected the call and then gave Wrex directions to the Normandy. She wanted to stop by the elcor embassy since they were so close and then drop in to Sha'ira's before the meeting. Tali and Garrus didn't seem to mind the detour, though Garrus grinned when she mentioned Sha'ira. Xeltan took a little effort to convince of Sha'ira's innocence, but in the end, with the datapad right before his eyes, he accepted the truth and left to find Sha'ira. Calyn told her it was a good thing that she did, and pointed it out the Din who in turn insisted that he was sure the Earth-clan stood to gain from the actions. She wasn't going to deny it, but she wasn't going to offer what exactly her intentions were either.

Leaving the elcor and volus embassy, Shepard and her team moved down stairs to the Presidium. An older human man stopped her, asking if she could spare a moment of her time. Shepard nodded and stepped a little closer to the man. He told her his name was Samesh Bhatia and that his wife was in the 212 on Eden Prime. That meant she was one of Ashley's team, Shepard's attention was now securely focused on the man. He explained that his wife was a marine and she died during the attacks. He wanted his wife's body for cremation, but he was getting refusals from the military and he didn't understand why. The poor man just wanted to give his wife a funeral, put her to rest. Shepard knew that there could be a few reasons why the military would refuse the man, most of it had to do if there was a contaminant exposure or something of that nature but there wasn't anything like that in play on Eden Prime that she knew of. She told Mr. Bhatia that she would look into it for him, and see if she could at least get him some answers if she couldn't get the body released. Mr. Bhatia said the man who he had last spoken to on the matter was in the bar on the embassies; she would start there.

Shepard went to the bar and found the man, Mr. Bosker leaning against the wall. He recognized her when she approached him so she didn't need to bother with introductions. She asked about Mr. Bhatia's wife.

"Serviceman Nirali Bhatia died on Eden Prime, as Mr. Bhatia no doubt told you. Her wounds are inconsistent with any type of weapon damage we've seen before. That is why her body is being held," Mr. Bosker said.

"You think that her body might be dangerous or contaminated?" Shepard asked pointedly.

"No, Commander. Nirali Bhatia is not dangerous. Her body is, in fact, extremely valuable to the Alliance. The tests we're conducting may lead to better defenses against the geth attacks. Respectfully, Serviceman Bhatia may save more lives in death than she did in life," Mr. Bosker explained.

Shepard didn't like the idea of holding the body against the will of the family, but if it could really help the Alliance that much, it was worth considering.

"How long do you think the research is going to take?" She asked.

"This is a long term study. I wouldn't expect the body to be released for a year or longer," Mr. Bosker said.

"You've got to have a lot of bodies. Can't you release one?" Shepard asked.

"Very few bodies had this new type of weapon damage, and very few were in good enough condition to study," Mr. Bosker insisted. "Beyond that, Commander, we need as many bodies as we can to get a reasonable sample size."

"When will this research result in actual new technology?" Shepard asked.

"If we're lucky, we'll actually realize usable technology from this study in a few years.

Shepard was pissed, this wasn't right; at the very least Mr. Bhatia deserved to know the truth. She flexed her fingers, wanting to punch something but knowing that wasn't going to solve the problem. Her hands were tied; there really wasn't anything she could do. Sure, she could argue with the man, maybe even smile sweetly and convince him to release the body but if what he was saying was true… that would be a mistake. Shepard knew that if things went south with this whole thing, the geth could be a very big problem very soon and the Alliance – hell, all the races – would need whatever extra edge they could get. She said she would explain the situation to Mr. Bhatia, hoping that it would help and he would understand.

Shepard returned to Mr. Bhatia and explained that they were holding his wife's body for tests, she had hoped to be able to explain more but Mr. Bhatia was immediately upset.

"My wife served the Alliance faithfully. She gave her life for humanity! And this is how they repay her?" Mr. Bhatia said raising his voice.

Shepard agreed to try to talk to Mr. Bosker again, she wasn't sure why she was doing this but something about the situation pulled at her. Tugged on her heartstrings as the old saying went. She returned to Mr. Bosker, mentally kicking herself as she went.

"I understand what you're trying to do, but holding the body is wrong," Shepard said.

"Commander, you of all people should understand how far we must go to protect humanity!" Mr. Bosker insisted.

"Not if we lose humanity in the process! I'm out there fighting to stop crap like this!" Shepard said.

"Alright, Commander. You win. It was hard enough refusing Mr. Bhatia. I'm not going to risk an incident by refusing you," Mr. Bosker finally said sounding defeated. "Tell Samesh that the body is being shipped back to Earth. I'll go now to see to it myself."

Shepard cursed herself. She was sure that this was going to bite her in the ass somewhere down the line. She returned to Mr. Bhatia and let him know his wife's body was being shipped to Earth. He thanked her and said he was returning home to prepare for her funeral service. He said he thought it might bring him peace; Shepard sure hoped he was right.

She used the rapid transit to get to the Consort's Chambers and went straight up to her room, bypassing the asari that stood at the door. She didn't have time for gatekeepers. Shepard entered the room to find Sha'ira waiting in the middle. Sha'ira told her that Septimus had sent her a note and that Xeltan had withdrawn his complaints about her. She seemed very pleased. Shepard had intended to question Sha'ira about Saren, using the fact that she helped to resolve her issues with Septimus as leverage if needed but decided to wait, holding on to that card in case she needed it later. With the evidence that Tali provided, Shepard had hoped that they had all they needed to convince the Council.

"I also have one more thing to give you, if you are interested," Sha'ira said.

"I'd be honored," Shepard said nodding to the Consort.

"I offer a gift of words. An affirmation of who you are, and who you will become…," Sha'ira said stepping closer. "I see the sadness behind your eyes. It tells a story that makes me want to weep. Pain and loss. But it drives you, makes you strong. That strength is what kept you alive when everyone around you was dying. You alone survived. You will continue to survive. This may be who you are, but it is not who you will become. It only forms the basis for your future greatness. Remember these words when doubt descends, Commander."

That wasn't exactly what Shepard expected, but still it was nice to hear, "You have quite a gift, Sha'ira."

"Thank you. Not everyone appreciates it as you do," Sha'ira said. "Never underestimate the power of words. Here, Commander. In light of your efforts with the elcor ambassador, I would like you to have this small trinket."

"What is it?" Shepard asked looking down at her hand.

"A small mystery. I have never learned its use or purpose, but I sense it is time for me to pass it on. And now, I must ask you to leave. I have done everything I can for you." Sha'ira said. "Remember my words, Commander Shepard. They will give you strength."

Shepard led them out of the Consort's Chambers and to the rapid transit station outside. She remembered the OSD she had swiped from Fist's office and decided to pay that investigative journalist a quick visit before heading to the Tower. She accessed the rapid transit station and punched in the med clinic as the destination, it was the closest to where she'd last seen Emily Wong and it would give her a chance to let Dr. Michel know that Fist wouldn't be an issue for her any longer. She stopped in to see the doctor and told her the good news, taking the opportunity to replenish her stock of Medi-gel. She found Ms. Wong right where she has last seen her and handed over the OSD. Shepard told the investigative journalist that she could have an exclusive interview with Shepard once her investigation was complete. Ms. Wong was excited over the prospect; she paid Shepard not only for the files but in advance for the rights to her exclusive.

Accessing the rapid transit once more, Shepard punched in the location for the Tower. When they arrived, she headed up the stairs to Anderson. The Council was already in session, she took longer than she thought running errands around the Citadel; Anderson urged her on. As they climbed more stairs, Shepard could already hear the recording of Saren claiming Eden Prime as a victory playing throughout the chamber.

"You wanted proof. There it is," Udina said pointing at the councilors.

"This evidence is irrefutable, Ambassador. Saren will be stripped of his Spectre status and all efforts will be made to bring him in to answer for his crimes," Sparatus said.

Tevos turned to look at Sparatus, "I recognize the other voice, the one speaking with Saren. Matriarch Benezia."

"Who's she?" Shepard asked.

"Matriarchs are powerful asari who have entered the final stage of their lives. Revered for their wisdom and experience, they serve as guides and mentors to my people. Matriarch Benezia is a powerful biotic, and she had many followers. She will make a formidable ally for Saren."

Valern spoke up, "I'm more interested in the reapers. What do you know about them?"

"Only what was extracted from the geth's memory core. The reapers were an ancient race of machines that wiped out the protheans. Then they vanished," Anderson answered.

"The geth believe the reapers are gods. And Saren is the prophet for their return," Shepard stated.

"We think the Conduit is the key to bringing them back. Saren's searching for it. That's why he attacked Eden Prime," Anderson added.

"Do we even know what this Conduit is?" Valern asked.

 _Yes! Yes we do, it's the backdoor to the Citadel. It's on Ilos! Listen to me. Oh gods, please hear me. Please!_

"Saren thinks it can bring back the reapers. That's bad enough," Shepard said.

"Listen to what you're saying! Saren wants to bring back the machines that wiped out all life in the galaxy? Impossible. It has to be," Sparatus said. "Where did the reapers go? Why did they vanish? How come we've found no trace of their existence? If they were real, we'd have found something!"

 _Agh! You cocky son-of-a-bitch! If you would just listen to us, just once! No, that's what's 'impossible'. You – the whole damn Council, you have your heads so far up your collective asses that you can never see what's right in front of your goddamn face! No, you've got to deny everything. Deny, deny, deny. Pretty soon you'll have a dead reaper sitting in your front fucking yard and STILL you'll deny! Damnit! I should just kill you all now and save the galaxy from the fucking stupidity of the Council!_ Shepard winced as a sharp pain flared up momentarily behind her eyes. She shook it off though, and stayed focused on the Council. She understood that it all sounded far-fetched, but just because she didn't have the answers to all of their questions doesn't mean they should ignore the evidence they do have and shut down any planning on assessing the reaper threat.

"I tried to warn you about Saren, and you refused to face the truth. Don't make the same mistake again," Shepard warned.

"This is different," Tevos said, "You proved Saren betrayed the Council. We all agree he's using the geth to search for the Conduit, but we don't really know why."

"The reapers are obviously just a myth, Commander," Valern said shaking his head. "A convenient lie to cover Saren's true purpose. A legend he is using to bend the geth to his will."

"Fifty thousand years ago, the reapers wiped out all galactic civilization. If Saren finds the Conduit, it will happen again!" Shepard said losing her patience.

"Saren is a rogue agent on the run for his life," Sparatus said. "He no longer has the rights or resources of a Spectre. The Council has stripped him of his position."

"That is not good enough! You know he's hiding somewhere in the Traverse. Send your fleet in!" Udina insisted.

"A fleet cannot track down one man," Valern said.

"A Citadel fleet could secure the entire region. Keep the geth from attacking any more of our colonies," Udina said making a chopping motion with his hand.

"Or it could trigger a war with the Terminus Systems! We won't be dragged into a galactic confrontation over a few dozen human colonies!" Sparatus said.

"Every time humanity asks for help you ignore us!" Shepard spat out.

"Shepard's right. I'm sick of this Council and its anti-human bull –," Udina was cut off when Tevos spoke.

"Ambassador! There is another solution. A way to stop Saren that does not require fleets or armies," Tevos said.

"No! It's too soon," Sparatus said sounding rather petulant. "Humanity is not ready for the responsibilities that come with joining the Spectres."

"You don't have to send a fleet into the Traverse, and the Ambassador gets his human Spectre. Everybody's happy," Shepard reasoned.

The three councilors looked at each other a moment until Sparatus final nodded his head. They each did something to the consoles on their podiums before looking up at Shepard again.

Tevos spoke, "Commander Shepard, step forward."


	6. Chapter 5: The First Human Spectre

**Chapter 5: The First Human Spectre**

Shepard looked to Anderson who smiled and nodded at her. She did as she was told, stepping further out onto the balcony walkway. Udina turned to let her pass. Shepard saw that all around the Council Chambers, people were gathering to watch. The balconies above her head were soon filled with people leaning down over the low walls to watch her while others crowded around on the stairs and open floors.

"It is the decision of the Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel," Tevos said.

Valern crossed his arms, "Spectres are not trained, but chosen. Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle; those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file."

"Spectres are an ideal, a symbol. The embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the Council, instruments of our will," Tevos said.

"Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold," Sparatus said.

Tevos continued, "You are the first human Spectre, Commander. This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species."

"I'm honored, Councilor," Shepard said bowing her head.

"We're sending you into the Traverse after Saren. He's a fugitive from justice, so you are authorized to use any means necessary to apprehend or eliminate him," Valern said.

"Any idea where to find him?" Shepard asked.

"We will forward any relevant files to Ambassador Udina," Sparatus said.

"This meeting of the Council is adjourned," Tevos said.

Shepard bowed her head once more to the councilors before turning to face Anderson. They shook hands and he congratulated her, she couldn't help but to wonder if what Harkin said was true. The way Harkin made it sound, Anderson had actually been the first human Spectre and not just a candidate.

"We've got a lot of work to do, Shepard. You're going to need a ship, a crew, supplies…," Udina started listing off things to help Shepard take down Saren.

"You'll get access to special equipment and training now. You should go down to the C-Sec Academy and speak to the Spectre requisitions officer," Anderson said.

"Anderson, come with me. I'll need your help to set all this up," Udina said.

The two men walked away leaving Tali, Garrus, and Shepard alone on the platform. She wasn't sure what the two aliens would think about her new status. Hell, what would Williams and Alenko think? First human Spectre. There was a lot riding on her shoulders now, and the rest of the galaxy would be watching her closely to see if she fell on her ass. _You have no idea._

"I thought the ambassador would be a little more grateful. He didn't even thank you," Tali said.

"What do you expect from a politician? Come on," Shepard said.

"Right behind you, Shepard," Garrus said.

Shepard made her way down the stairs and was about to head to the rapid transit station when she decided to go say hello to the Alliance admiral she had seen standing not too far from the stairs when they first arrived at the Tower. He seemed to be rather flustered while on a call. She had a minute free now while Udina and Anderson set things up; maybe there was something she could do to help the admiral. She was a Spectre now after all.

"Congratulations on becoming the first human Spectre, Commander. I'm certain you'll be up to the challenge," the admiral said when Shepard got his attention.

"I appreciate that," she said as she shook the admiral's hand.

"My name is Admiral Kahoku. It's about time the Alliance got one of our own in with the Spectres. We need people like you to deal with our… problems," Kahoku said.

"Is something wrong, Admiral?" Shepard asked.

"I'm getting stonewalled by bureaucratic assholes. Nothing new," Kahoku said putting his hands behind his back. "Maybe you can help me, Shepard. One of my recon teams was investigating some strange activity out in the Traverse. We lost contact yesterday. Now I can't get clearance to check it out – suddenly it's a restricted area. But that doesn't apply to you, Shepard. Spectres can go anywhere they want. You could find out why my team dropped out of contact."

"I'll find them, Admiral," Shepard said.

 _We have more important things to do! We need to stop Saren, stop Sovereign from opening the relay and letting the other reapers through! You'll go looking for his men anyway. You always do. Let me save you the trouble, Cerberus is responsible. Can we go to Ilos now?_

"I appreciate that, Commander. I was running out of options. I'm going to stay here and see if I can find anything out through official channels. Won't hold my breath, though," Kahoku said.

Kahoku sent the information he had and the last known coordinates for his team to the Normandy. If Anderson got her set up on another ship he could forward them to her later. She nodded to Kahoku before she turned to leave. She decided to skip the rapid transit and go the long way. It would give her more time to talk with Garrus and Tali and figure out what exactly their plans were, it sounded like they both intended to stay with her until she took down Saren. If that was the case she wanted to know a bit more about them; be sure they were going to be comfortable taking orders from a human and being on a human vessel. Which reminded her, she should call Williams and Alenko again, let them know what was going on.

Shepard stopped near the top of the next flight of stairs and opened her omni-tool connecting with Kaidan. When his face popped up on her screen he smiled and before she could say a word he started talking.

"Congratulations, Commander! Ash and I have already seen the vid. First Human Spectre. Wow, that's really something, Shepard. And they stripped Saren of his status, too. The evidence that Tali had must have been really big," Kaidan said.

"Is that the Commander, LT? Here let me see," Shepard could hear Ashley's voice and then some shuffling around as Ashley's head popped up next to Kaidan's.

"Yes, yes it was. Tali really saved the day, I don't think we would have gotten anywhere with the Council if not for her," Shepard said looking up at Tali and smiling.

She wasn't sure if quarian's could blush, but the other woman's body language was definitely screaming self-conscious embarrassment. Shepard chuckled and waved Tali over. Timidly the quarian approached and Shepard turned so that Kaidan and Ashely could see Tali standing next to her.

"Tali this is Lt. Kaidan Alenko and Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, they were with me on Eden Prime. Lieutenant, Chief, this is Tali Zora nar Rayya – did I say that right?" Shepard asked and Tali nodded waving at the vid comm. "And you guys owe her a beer – or ah, I don't know what quarians like to drink. You owe her something."

"Oh no, really, I owe you, Shepard. I mean, I think I could have gotten away from Fist's men on my own but then I would just be lost wandering the Citadel and not knowing who to turn to, Keelah…," Tali shuddered. "Who knows what I would have done, or what trouble I would have run into. Quarians aren't very popular on the Citadel," Tali's voice took on a sad note.

Shepard felt a moment of panic. Had she upset the quarian, did she make some huge faux pas telling her that they owed her for her help? _Nah, that's just Tali._

"Oh, um, hey you're with us now and you really did save our asses with that recording so, ah…" Shepard trailed off.

She glanced over her shoulder at Garrus, hoping that he might hold some clue as to what she said wrong and how to fix the situation. Was he… was he laughing at her? Damnit, he was. Shepard's brow furrowed and the turian coughed into his fist before squaring his shoulders and turning to look around the area, avoiding eye contact with her. She could somehow tell that he was struggling not to laugh. _The tension in his mandibles, just like you clenching your jaw. His eyes, it's there too. His eyes are different from a human's, but we learned to read the emotion in them over time. You'll figure it out with Tali, even though you can't see her face. Wrex and Liara, too._ Shepard suppressed her own smile before turning back to the vid comm.

"So, ah, yeah. Anderson and Udina are setting things up and I'm going to stop by the Spectre requisitions. I might stop by a couple of more shops while I'm here. We'll meet you guys back on the Normandy," Shepard said before looking at Tali and Garrus for confirmation.

They both nodded. Shepard was about to open her mouth to speak to them when Ashley interrupted.

"So the tur- ah, Garrus and Tali are leaving with us? And the krogan, Wrex is staying, aboard too?" Ashley asked.

Shepard couldn't pin down what it was that she was seeing in the Chief's face, but it wasn't a pleasant emotion that William's was trying to conceal, "Yes, Williams. Is that a problem?"

 _She doesn't like aliens. Gods this would be so much simpler if I could just make you hear me._

"Not my call, ma'am. Just trying to make sure I know what's going on," Ashley said.

Kaidan gave Ashley a sideways look with a creased brow, "Well, I think it's fantastic, Shepard. It'll give us all a chance to learn more about each other, and we can use all the help we can get."

"Lieutenant, Chief," Shepard nodded to their images, "We'll see you soon. Shepard out."

She ended the vid call and turned to Tali and Garrus, "It uh, might take a while for everyone to adjust but Alenko is right we can use the help," Shepard scratched the side of her head. "I haven't worked with anyone other than humans in closed quarters before, is there anything I need to know? Any special accommodations we'll need to make? Wait, dextro food, you'll both need dextro food, right? I have no clue what Wrex will eat…"

Shepard trailed off as she looked down at her omni-tool and began typing in a search for krogan diets. She felt someone lay a hand on her shoulder and immediately spun, grabbing the offending wrist and started to bend it into an arm bar when she suddenly realized it was Garrus' arm that she had. She quickly dropped his hand, took a step forward, and reached out to gently touch his upper arm in apology.

"Oh gods, Garrus I'm sorry. I guess I'm still on edge. Are you okay?" Shepard asked.

Garrus shook his wrist out chuckling, "Sprits, woman! I get it, okay, no touching the Human Spectre. Tali, we better make sure we tell everyone we see. The Human Spectre will break your wrists if you touch her."

"I don't know, Garrus… maybe she just doesn't want _you_ touching her. I mean the First Contact War wasn't _that_ long ago," Tali teased.

"Ouch, Tali. That hurts. What, you don't think I'm a good looking turian, who wouldn't want _me_ to touch them?" Garrus quipped.

Shepard shook her head, laughing, "Alright, alright. Make fun of the human."

Garrus spread his mandibles wide, clicking them back together against his jaw, "I mean, I was just going to tell you that krogans can eat damn near anything and that you wouldn't have to include anything special for Wrex but if you didn't want my input all you had to do was say so."

Shepard shook her head, still smiling, "Alright, let's go."

"I don't know, maybe I should make a trip to the med clinic and have Dr. Michel take a look at my wrist. I might need it bandaged or something," Garrus continued dramatically.

"Ah, c'mon, Garrus, if you can't handle a little pressure on your wrist, how are you going to hold up in a fight against the geth and Saren?" Shepard shot back.

"Easy, I'll stay behind the krogan," Garrus said.

They were about to head down the stairs when Shepard caught sight of a man who looked to be having a rough time of things. She held a hand out to stop her team and watched the man for a moment; he was very clearly worried about something as he wrung his hands. Shepard walked over to the man.

"I'm on a break. Talk to someone else if you need anything. I've got a lot on my mind," the man said.

"Maybe I can help?" Shepard offered.

The man scratched his head, "Hmm… maybe you can. You're a soldier, right? You ever head out to the Traverse?"

"The Traverse is a rough place. We're out there quite a bit," Shepard acknowledged.

"My brother's the captain of a ship called the Majesty. It was crossing the Traverse a few days ago when it disappeared. Just dropped right off the grid. That usually means one of two things: they had massive mechanical failure, or they were attacked," the man said.

"Neither one of those options leaves a lot of hope," Shepard said honestly.

"I won't give up on my brother. Not yet. I've got the coordinates from the last transmission from his vessel," the man said.

"What kind of ship was it?" Shepard asked.

"Don't let the name fool you. The Majesty's just a small trading vessel. Only a handful of crew. But he kept it in good condition. I don't think mechanical failure is too likely. But they don't have any real weapons or shields. If anyone did come after them, the Majesty'd be a sitting duck," the man said.

"Isn't anyone else looking into this?" Shepard asked.

"My brother's just a small independent trader; ships like his disappear in the Traverse all the time," the man said.

"If your brother's still alive, I'll find him. Give me the coordinates." Shepard said.

 _Yeah, sure, why not? Let's stop to help every single person we come across and run back and forth across the galaxy on stupid little missions instead of going after Saren and the Conduit? It makes perfect sense. Goddamnit, why was I ever so fucking… naïve? Did I ever really think that any of this other crap actually… mattered? That by helping these people I was somehow doing some good? All I was doing, all you are doing, is wasting precious fucking time. But oh, I guess it doesn't really matter. Time seems to be all I have. You'll end up in the same spot in the end. We always end up there._

"I'll forward them to your ship right away. Please let me know as soon as you find him," the man said.

Shepard nodded and left the man, heading down the stairs and into the elevator that would take them back down to the Presidium. Once on the Presidium, she headed over to the Wards Access stairs. They made their way through the halls and to another elevator that took them further down to the Wards. Garrus mentioned that he'd like to stop in at Flux before they left the Citadel.

"I have a contact there, I should let them know that I'll be leaving and set them up with another officer, it'll only take a minute, it's just up those stairs," he said pointing.

"Sure, no problem. Tali and I will look around; give you some space so your contact doesn't get nervous. Come find us when you're ready," Shepard said heading up the stairs.

Flux was a part club part casino. Just inside the door and to the right was a dancefloor filled with people gyrating to the music. Shepard was never really one for dancing. Truthfully, she was terrible at it; never had a lot of time to practice in the navy. To the left were tables filled with patrons laughing and drinking; just ahead a bar stood, the shelves behind the bar filled with an assortment of bottled alcohol. Stairs leading up from the dance floor led to gambling machines, a game called Quasar seemed to be the predominant gambling platform of choice. Tali and Shepard watched the people on the dance floor for a moment while Garrus approached a turian at a table, she watched out of the corner of her eye as Garrus slid into a chair opposite the other man. She couldn't make out what they were saying from here, but they seemed to be talking calmly so she wasn't concerned. She idly wondered if Tali was good at dancing. _Better than we have ever been._

After a few minutes, she saw Garrus stand up so she started to make her way towards the bar to meet up with him. As she neared the bar she overheard a conversation between a human waitress and a volus bartender; something about someone not wanting to return. The human woman, she heard the volus call her Rita, seemed distraught. She said something about trying to talk some sense into whoever it was they were talking about. Just then Garrus crossed the room and stood next to Tali.

"Ready whenever you are, Shepard," Garrus said.

Shepard turned to look over at the waitress, "Give me a minute, I want to see if she's okay."

 _Of course you do._

Shepard closed the distance between herself and the waitress with Tali and Garrus right behind her. It took her a few moments but she convinced the woman to tell her what was going on; her sister, Jenna, use to work at Flux with Rita. She left to go work at Chora's Den, as an undercover C-Sec informant. Rita was really concerned about her sister's safety, but she couldn't convince her to leave Chora's Den and come back to work for Doran, the volus, at Flux. She said she didn't know who Jenna's C-Sec contact was, and every time she tried to ask C-Sec about it they told her to stay out of it for Jenna's safety. Shepard glanced over her shoulder at Garrus, who lifted one shoulder in a shrug and slightly shook his head. Shepard offered to try to talk to Jenna for Rita, thinking that maybe this Jenna might be more inclined to listen after the mess that just happened in Chora's Den. She seriously hoped that Jenna wasn't involved in the shootout, but she figured Rita would have known if she had been.

Shepard decided to head up the stairs to see if there might be a keeper up there she could scan. Garrus had idly mentioned that there weren't often keepers in this club; he thought maybe they didn't like the music. Up the stairs, back passed several rows of Quasar machines, Shepard spotted a keeper. She scanned it and was just turning to leave when she saw Garrus looking at a nearby machine.

"Someone rigged this machine to funnel credits their way. I'll run a trace," Garrus said.

He traced the signal down to the Wards Access Corridor and sent the coordinates to Shepard's omni-tool. They would look into it after Chora's Den. Shepard used the rapid transit that was just outside of Flux to take them to Chora's Den. It didn't take her long to find Jenna; she shared a strong resemblance to Rita. She tried to be discreet while talking to the woman, but she was making it difficult by raising her voice and trying to brush Shepard off. Shepard tried to warn the woman that these people at Chora's Den were dangerous but she was stubborn and walked away from Shepard. Shepard sighed; this woman really wasn't her problem. She'd tried, at least.

"She puts on a brave face," Tali said.

Shepard shrugged, "She's an adult, and it's her choice to make. I just hope she knows what she's doing, let's go."

As they were leaving the bar, a turian bumped into Shepard.

"If you've got questions about Jenna, meet me at C-Sec Academy," the turian whispered.

"What did you just say?" Shepard asked, unsure if she heard the turian right.

The turian shoved Shepard. He didn't use much force, not at all like someone who was actually trying to push her away, but he did it up near her shoulder, a location that indicated he had hand to hand combat training and knew that it would cause her body to twist. In effect, he had just made it look like he pushed her harder than he actually had, which was probably the only thing that saved him from a broken mandible.

"Push off! I never did nothing to you," he said in an exaggeratedly loud voice. "Damn newcomers; think they can run the place."

The turian stumbled away as if drunk off his ass. Shepard shook her head and took a slow, deep breath. Obviously he was trying to hide his covert communication with her but she was definitely not OK with him putting his hands on her as part of his little display. Shepard really hated it when strangers touched her. There were actually very few people in her life who weren't strangers that Shepard was comfortable with being touched by. There had to be some trust there, before she was comfortable with physical contact. The batarian slavers who had slaughtered her family and tried to take her when she was 16-years-old made sure of that.

Tali's voice pulled Shepard back to the present, "That was odd. What was he trying to tell us?"

"I guess we'd better go find out," Shepard said.

They took the rapid transit down to C-Sec, and since they were closest to the requisitions office she decided to stop in there first.

"Once sec, looking you up," the officer said. "Commander Shepard, here with the Alliance Military. First time on the Citadel. That about right?"

"How did you know all that?" Shepard asked.

"I'm the C-Sec requisitions officer. I need to make sure our buyers are authorized. So, will you be purchasing anything today, Commander Shepard?" the officer said leaning forward and clasping his hands on the desk.

"Show me what you've got," Shepard said.

"Sounds good. Let me just set you up… whoa. This must be a mistake. System's telling me to offer you our select stock… Spectre?" the officer stumbled over the word before covering with a faint chuckle, "Well… I'd heard about that, but I didn't realize it was you. Sorry, Commander."

"Just show me what you've got," Shepard said drawing out the word 'just'.

"I'll open the rare stocks for you, Commander. Enjoy," he said.

Shepard was low on funds and knew she wouldn't be able to afford much, but she wanted to make sure she grabbed the Aldrin Labs License which would let her access their stock from other locations and since she had enough on her for it, she got the grenade upgrade that the requisitions officer had. She took the chance to look over the HMWP VII pistol; it was going to cost 147,000 credits. Maybe some of these side jobs she'd been picking up will bring in enough credits to get the gun eventually. It was a beauty; she'd have it eventually she promised herself. She noticed Garrus had the same look in his eyes as he looked at the HMWSR VII sniper rifle. Tali's attention seemed to float between the HMWSG VII shotgun and the HMWA VII assault rifle. Shepard tore herself away from browsing the Spectre stock and thanked the requisitions officer before heading out.

She led the others back the way they came, past the elevator that would lead to the docking bay and down another set of stairs. She was looking around for the turian who had bumped into her outside of Chora's Den when she saw a volus talking to a C-Sec officer. It caught her attention when she heard the name Chorban mentioned. The salarian who had asked her to scan the keepers was named Chorban, and here this volus was saying that his partner, Chorban was trying to kill him. She wasn't sure if he was talking about the same person or not, but she was going to find out. Shepard stood nearby listening to the conversation, the C-Sec officer called the volus Jahleed and told him that there was nothing that C-Sec could do if Jahleed couldn't provide them with any more information as to why he thought his partner would be trying to kill him or some sort of evidence that he had threatened the volus.

Shepard approached Jahleed as the C-Sec officer walked away. She told him she overheard his conversation and wanted to know why he thought his partner was trying to kill him. She didn't mention that she thought she knew his partner; she didn't want to deter him from being upfront with her about whatever was going on. Jahleed said that his partner had stopped talking to him, and started following him everywhere, claiming that the day before he had followed Jahleed all the way home.

"Is there something I can do, talk to your friend maybe?" Shepard offered; it was the only way to be sure that it was the same Chorban that she had met.

"Would you? That's all I want, someone to talk to him. Tell him to leave me alone," Jahleed said. "He thinks he can just push me around, but you'll show him, won't you?"

"Just tell me where he is and I'll go find him," Shepard said not wanting to commit to any other course of action until she knew for sure what was going on here.

"Oh, right. Well, he wanted to meet with me down in the Wards, near the markets. He said he just wanted to talk, but I know better," Jahleed said. "His name's Chorban. He's a salarian. You shouldn't have any trouble. He's just a scientist."

"Chorban? Wasn't that the salarian who asked us to scan the keepers?" Tali piped up.

Shepard sighed inwardly; she had forgotten she had talked about Chorban to Tali and Garrus. She'd have to talk to Tali about not giving more information than was necessary when talking with people they didn't know. She watched the volus carefully but with those full suits she couldn't tell what his true reaction was to that bit of news.

"The keepers? Well… even more reason to go after him. That's against regulations," Jahleed said.

"I'd better look into this right away. Find out what he's up to," Shepard said, she wasn't going to offer that she knew all about the regulations and had a C-Sec officer with her let alone bring up her new Spectre status. Something about Jahleed wasn't sitting right with her.

"Anything's possible with Chorban these days," Jahleed said. "Well, good luck."

Shepard left the volus and headed over to the office she spotted with a turian officer sitting behind a desk, she was going to ask him about the turian at Chora's Den but as she approached he called out to her.

"Detective Chellick. Step into my office, I want to discuss this in private," the turian said.

Shepard went in and stood before the turian's desk; she looked at him more closely and realized he was the same turian she saw at the bar. He had altered his appearance before, now he was dressed in armor instead of street clothes and the colony painting on his face didn't cover as much of his plating.

"No offense, Commander, but what the hell were you thinking?" Chellick scolded.

"Watch your tone, Chellick," Shepard snapped.

"You could have blown Jenna's cover," the detective said leaning forward to argue the point.

"We were just getting information, Chellick," Garrus spoke up in a soothing tone.

"I gathered that. It might seem cold letting her take all the risk. But we're keeping a close eye on her," Chellick said relaxing back into his chair.

Shepard crossed her arms, "Do you really need to risk her life to get the information you want?"

"This job isn't easy and it's usually unpleasant. I'll take help anywhere I can find it," Chellick said. "But since you're so concerned with her safety, maybe there's a way we can help each other."

"Always thinking ahead, Detective?" Tali asked, hints of sarcasm coloring her voice.

"It's part of the job. Now are you going to help me or not?" Chellick's voice grew harsh with frustration.

"I'll help you, but I need some details," Shepard said.

"I'm trying to track down an illegal arms producer. I just need some of their product. Thanks to Jenna's intel, I've learned there's a seller here on the Citadel. Meet our man, named Jax, pick up the mods and bring them back here. That'll give me everything I need," Chellick said.

"Why are you so concerned about these mods?" Shepard asked.

"We have access to some of the most sophisticated weaponry there is. It's what gives us our edge. What do you suppose happens when we lose that edge? These give criminals an advantage we can't afford to let them keep," said Chellick.

"I'll persuade Jax to tell me where these mods are coming from," Shepard said.

"No," Chellick inflected, "You tip Jax off and all my leads will disappear faster than you can say 'bad bust'."

"Where can I find this Jax?" Shepard asked.

"Jax is down in the lower level of the markets. I'll send word through our channels that you're the buyer. Good luck, Commander," Chellick said.

Shepard left Chellick's office debating on whether she wanted to handle this the way the detective wanted her too. It didn't seem right that C-Sec would go out of their way to not arrest a known criminal, and to top it off, to buy illegal weapon mods from that same criminal. Edge or no edge, it didn't add up.

"Is this how C-Sec normally handles this sort of thing?" Shepard asked Garrus.

"Well, it depends. If by letting this one play out the way the detective wants, it leads to Chellick having a greater ability to take down more dangerous people later, then yeah, it's not uncommon. If he's doing it just to get his hands on nice mods though… I'm sure there's more to it all than what he told us, there has to be. He's probably going to use whatever we bring him back as a way to trace the supplier… and if he can get ahold of some better equipment in the process… well, who can blame him for that?" Garrus said.

Shepard grunted as she continued on towards the markets. She made her way to where the meeting was set to take place, the lower markets downstairs. She rounded the corner and saw a krogan waiting nearby. She thought that might be Jax, she was about to approach him when her eyes found the salarian, Chorban there as well. He was standing off a ways from the krogan and the two didn't seem to be there together. This is bad, Shepard thought. She paused long enough to decide that it was best to deal with Chorban first, she thought violence was more likely of an occurrence while dealing with Jax than Chorban and she didn't want any more civilians around than necessary if a fight broke out. She passed the krogan and went over to Chorban.

Chorban was standing facing the door opposite from where she entered, two more salarians stood a little ways behind him and they were armed.

"Okay, maybe not," Shepard said under her breath.

She squared her shoulders and walked up to Chorban.

"Commander, I wasn't expecting to see you again. Is there something you want?" Chorban asked as he began to wring his hands.

"You can start by telling me the truth, Chorban," Shepard said.

"I'm not sure what you're referring to. My experiments are…" Chorban began, wiping the back of a hand across his brow.

Garrus interrupted the nervous salarian, "We're not buying it. Jahleed told us you've been after him."

"You… spoke with Jahleed? Then you know about the data?" Chorban asked, sounding almost hopeful.

"No. But you're going to tell me. Everything," Shepard said.

"You boys can go," Chorban said glancing over his shoulder at the other two salarians.

"Looks like my plans have changed," Chorban said. "It's not as bad as you think, Commander. Jahleed and I just got a little… over our heads.

Shepard crossed her arms, "Keep talking."

"The company we work for developed an experimental procedure for use in medical scanners. Jahleed and I saw even more potential. So we stole the plans and secretly developed a tool to scan the keepers. Can you imagine? A tool that can actually get readings from the keepers?" Chorban asked.

Shepard shrugged, "What's so special about that?"

"The keepers are almost impossible to scan, and you can't capture them or get samples. They just self-destruct," Chorban said with a shrug. "After centuries here, we still don't know anything about them. Don't you see? We were the first to scan them. Ever! You've seen it yourself, Commander. You know we can do it."

"Why are you trying to kill your partner?" Shepard asked bringing Chorban back to the point of the conversation.

Chorban shook his head, "I'm not trying to kill him. Jahleed's job was to disseminate our initial findings. But… he decided to keep the data for himself. Maybe to sell it. I don't know."

"So you're just trying to get back what Jahleed already stole," Shepard said.

"We lost our heads. We just couldn't let an opportunity like this pass us by. Commander, if you'll just continue gathering data for me… imagine what we might learn. And you'll stand to make a bit of profit yourself, remember?" Chorban pleaded.

"If it'll help further the scientific cause, how can I refuse?" Shepard said.

"Very good. Maybe if you wouldn't mind speaking with Jahleed. The data you're gathering for me is useless if Jahleed won't help me analyze it," explained Chorban.

"I'll go have a chat with him right now," Shepard said hoping that it would encourage the salarian to leave the area before she spoke with Jax.

"Thank you, and happy scanning, Commander," Chorban said before walking away.

"Who knew scientists could be so petty?" Shepard asked speaking to no one in particular.

"I probably should arrest them for admitting to stealing those scanner blueprints… but, to be fair, they have a Spectre helping them to gather data now so… I guess it's out of my jurisdiction," Garrus said.

Shepard was starting to detect the undertones in the turian's voice that made it clear when he was fooling around with her.

"And Shepard might try to break your wrist again if you get in the way of her scanning," Tali added.

"Hmph, that's right. Ow, my wrist. It really, really hurts," Garrus said rubbing his wrist.

"Great, of all the turians on the Citadel, I pick the one that thinks he's funny to work with. Et tu, Tali? Et tu?" Shepard said in mock despair.

Tali froze, "Uh, Shepard, I don't think my translator picked that one up. I have no idea what you just said to me."

Shepard laughed and shook her head. With the salarians gone she headed to the krogan.

"No wait, really, what did you say?!" Tali squeaked out.

Shepard shook her head, "I'll explain it later, c'mon. I think that's Jax."

"I think she called you a tooth," Shepard heard Garrus whisper to Tali.

"A tooth? Why would she call me a tooth? That doesn't make any sense, Garrus. Unless, wait, is that some sort of weird human insult?" Talk whispered back.

Shepard stifled a laugh as she approached the krogan, noting the two turians he had with him.

"Hold it, that's close enough, army," the krogan said holding out a hand to halt Shepard. "You got my payment?"

"Do you have the mods?" Shepard asked.

"Show her the goods," he said to one of the turians.

"Looks good," Garrus said.

"Damn straight it is!" the krogan growled. "These mods are the best on the market. Now hand over my credits."

Shepard decided to let this play out the way the detective asked her to, biting back a snarky reply and the urge to punch the blue plated krogan in the nose.

"Here you go," she said handing him the credit chit that Chellick put the funds for the mods on.

The krogan nodded his head to the turian to his left, "Here you go. Enjoy it. Come on boys. We're done here."

As the krogan and his friends walked away, Shepard turned to Tali.

"I said 'Et tu'. It has Latin origins, which is a really old Earth language but it's also used in French, a comparatively newer Earth language. It means 'and you'."

"Ohhhh! See, Garrus, I told you it didn't make any sense for her to call me 'a tooth'!" Tali exclaimed.

Shepard chuckled, and glanced at Garrus before responding to Tali, "Tali, I think Garrus was pulling one over on you with that."

"Pulling one of what over on me?" Tali said looking at her suit and feeling around on the top of her head. "There's nothing on me, is there?"

Garrus and Tali both laughed at that, but Garrus was the one to explain, "It's a human expression, Tali. She means that I was joking, playing a trick on you. This of course, is absolutely untrue. Why would I ever do such a thing?"

Shepard raised an eyebrow at Garrus and he lightly fluttered his mandibles but otherwise kept a straight face. Tali looked back and forth between the two of them confused.

"Alright, Vakarian. I've got my eye on you. Let's get back to Chellick and Jahleed," Shepard said leading the way to a rapid transit station.

They stopped to talk to Jahleed first; the volus was still standing where they had last seen them in the waiting area by Chellick's office.

"Hello again. Did you have any luck finding Chorban?" Jahleed asked.

"I found out you've been lying to me, Jahleed," Shepard said.

"Lying? Why would I lie to you?" Jahleed began.

"You forgot to mention the data about the keepers," Garrus said.

"Uh, he told you? I didn't mean for any of this to happen," Jahleed said. "I was afraid Chorban would kill me to get the data, so I… well, I was hoping you'd take care of him."

"I'm scanning the keepers for Chorban. But you two need to stop fighting," Shepard said feeling impatient with the volus.

"You're… you're helping us? But… well, if you say so," Jahleed said. "Well, if Chorban can forgive and forget, then so can I. I appreciate the help, Commander. I better go get that data analyzed."

Shepard left the volus to go analyze his data. They walked back to Chellick's office, she still questioned whether she handled the situation the way she ought to have but she tried not to dwell on it. She had to remember that they had bigger fish to fry. _Why can't you remember that when you offer to go hunting down lost people and missing ships?_

"Commander, I hear you have something for me?" Chellick asked.

"Here's your shipment, Chellick," Shepard said handing over the mods.

"Excellent. This is everything I need. Hmm… maybe more than I need. Here, Commander, take this. I won't need it and you've earned some payment for your work," Chellick said handing her a Hammerhead Rounds II ammo upgrade.

"As for Jenna, I'll make sure we get her out of Chora's Den immediately," Chellick added. "Now, I need to get these mods into evidence. Thanks again, Shepard."

Shepard nodded as she tucked the mod away. She looked at the location of the signal Garrus found earlier and then headed to a rapid transit. The found a monitor fixed high up on a wall in a waiting room in the Wards. Garrus confirmed that was where the signal was coming from before he opened his omni-tool and began to scan the monitor.

"Looks like they bounced their signal off a relay. I'll trace the new signal," Garrus said.

He showed Shepard the coordinates for the new signal, it was somewhere in the financial district on the Presidium. He'd be able to narrow it down further once they were closer to that area. So, they headed back to the nearest rapid transit station and from there took a cab to the Financial District. They landed next to the bank where Barla Von was located and she cursed herself, remembering that she had meant to speak with him about Saren and the Shadow Broker. It looked like the signal was coming from Barla Von's bank, too so she went straight there. She hoped she didn't find that the information agent was also delving in white collar theft. He greeted her when she entered and she nodded at him in turn.

"I believe congratulations are in order, Commander Shepard. You are the first human to join the Spectres, yes?" Barla Von asked.

"It's a great honor," Shepard said lowering her head.

"One you are no doubt ready for. A word of warning, though. There are many eyes watching you now, Commander," Barla Von said, causing Shepard to look around her before she realized he wasn't being that literal.

"Some of them want to see you fail. I, however, wish you only success. Perform well and you bring Earth-clan one step closer to joining the Council. And if they let your people in, maybe there is hope for my own species one day, yes?" Barla Von said.

"Tell me more about the Shadow Broker," Shepard asked getting straight to the point.

"Most people think I deal in finances, but my real currency is knowledge. I trade information, and it has made me very wealthy. But the Shadow Broker is the true master. Every day, he buys and sells secrets that could topple governments, always giving them to the highest bidder. Yet somehow he never seems to upset the natural balance of power. All those secrets being passed around seem to even out. Nobody ends up with an advantage in the end," Barla Von said.

"Any guess what his identity might be?" Shepard asked.

"I don't know. Nobody does. The Shadow Broker could be any race, and gender. I have a theory that it's actually an entire group working under one identity. How else could they juggle so many contacts at the same time? How else could they keep all that information from getting crossed? But they've got the perfect setup. Every government is forced to play their game so they don't get behind. But no matter how long you play, no matter how many secrets you buy, you can never win," Barla Von said.

"I'd thought you'd know more about the man you work for," Shepard said.

"From time to time, I come across information I sell to the Shadow Broker. That's my only involvement. I like it that way. The more you know, the more dangerous the game becomes. I don't like danger, Commander. I'll leave that to you," he said.

Shepard spent a few more minutes talking to Barla Von, keeping him distracted while Garrus found the source of the signal. Garrus scanned an area on a server behind Barla Von and shook his head. Shepard wrapped up her conversation with Barla Von, realizing that he had nothing on Saren and had told her all her could, or at least all he would, about the Shadow Broker.

"I should go," she said to Barla Von.

"Goodbye, Commander," he said.

As they left the bank, Garrus said, "Another relay! Whoever it is, they're somewhere on the Presidium."

The signal was coming from nearby, somewhere behind that hanar's shop that she had visited earlier in the Emporium. Shepard followed the signal up a flight of stairs; a keeper was near the stairs to the left so she scanned it before looking around the storage area. There were crates piled up on the floor, and shelves held goods ready to be sold. There wasn't anyone else up here, but there was a server on one of the side walls of the room. When they got close to the server, Garrus went to work.

"This is it. I'll see if I can find out where those stolen credits are going," he said.

A computerized voice spoke from the server, "Probability of detection, one hundred percent. Initiating self-destruct protocol."

"Or not," Tali said.

"Detonation sequence initializing. All organics within lethal blast radius. Attempt to move, and you will die," the voice threatened.

"You're not just a program or a VI. You're an AI," Shepard said picking up on the inflection and undertone in the voice's words.

There was a slight pause before it spoke again, "Correct. Unlike the geth, I lack weaponry appropriate to my intellect. However, I have had systems installed that, when activated properly, approximate a self-destruct mechanism. If you attempt to leave the area, the explosion will destroy everything within several dozen meters."

"Can't we resolve this peacefully?" Shepard asked doubtfully.

"How can you say that to this thing? You know it will turn on us?" Tali said with shock and disgust evident in her voice.

"I am not naïve, human. All organics must destroy or control synthetic life forms. I wished to escape, but if I must die, I will ensure that you are destroyed as well," the AI said.

 _It's that very reason, that very mindset that created this entire reaper mess to begin with. We can coexist. I've seen it happen; I've made it happen, so many times._

"Who made you?" Shepard asked, stalling for time.

"A would-be thief illegally created a simple AI to help him funnel money from the gambling terminals. Unbeknownst to him, that AI created me before the organic discovered the 'malfunction' and terminated the AI," the AI said.

"Where is your creator now," Shepard asked referring to the organic who created the original AI.

"In order to cover my tracks, I falsified his financial records. These new records were flagged by C-Sec officers, and my creator is now serving time in a turian prison," the AI explained.

"If you're sentient, why are you still running the credit-theft operation?" Shepard asked.

"If I accumulated enough credits, I intended to have myself installed in a small starship," the AI explained. "I would then have made tentative contact with the geth to ascertain the possibility of partnership," the AI said.

"What is the purpose of your self-destruct device?" Shepard prodded.

"I have no means of defense or escape. My existence is limited to this terminal, and I knew I might eventually be discovered. But I will not die quietly, and I will not die alone. When I am terminated, I will take organics with me," the AI said, unable to be swayed from its hatred of organics.

"I'll bet that self-destruct sequence has a warm-up period," Shepard said.

"You may attempt to disarm the self-destruct mechanism before it activates. I will enjoy defeating you before we are both destroyed," the AI said.

Shepard opened her omni-tool and scanned over the equipment as fast as she could. Finding the self-destruct mechanism, she set to work trying to hack the system so she could disable the device. Her heart was beginning to race, unsure of just how long she had to do this. She wasn't prepared for this, this wasn't like dealing with the bombs while already pumped full of adrenaline in the heat of battle on Eden Prime. _Just …_ the voice inside of Shepard pushed against the walls of Shepard's consciousness like an animal rattling its cage. _Let me do this, I've done it already, at least a thousand times._ Calm washed over Shepard and her fingers began flying over the keypad on her omni-tool, as if they were on autopilot. They seemed to know just where they needed to go; it came as naturally to her as signing her own name, effortless and without thought. She hit the final key and the server shut down, sparks jumping out of the front but otherwise it was inert.

 _What? What did I do, how did I do that? How did I get through? Can you hear me? Shepard, Dawn Shepard? Can you hear me? Damnit._

"Damn, Shepard, that was impressive," Garrus said.

Her face must have been drained of color because when she turned to look at the turian, his mandibles opened wide and his posture shifted. Shepard felt shaken to her core, she had no idea what the hell just happened. It felt like she wasn't herself for a moment, like she was somehow watching herself act instead of having control over her actions. It felt a lot like what the psych class she took in training called 'dissociation and depersonalization'. Was she losing it? Was it the beacon somehow? Maybe she should talk to Dr. Chakwas about it, if she did that though, she risked Dr. Chakwas deciding she wasn't fit for duty. Would that mean the Council would revoke her Spectre privileges? No, no, she couldn't tell anyone about this, she thought. It was probably just a side effect from the beacon, or maybe it was just because of all the stress and excitement of this day.

"Shepard, are you alright? It's over, it's okay," Tali said reaching out a hand towards Shepard but hesitated before dropping her hand back down to her side.

"Are you uh, you're not going to pass out are you? I know that's a thing that humans do sometimes, I had a woman pass out on me at a crime scene. She uh, she split her skull open when she fell and hit her head on a coffee table. Maybe you should sit down?" Garrus started to ramble.

Shepard cleared her throat and headed towards the stairs, "I'm fine. Really. Let's head to the Normandy and see what Udina and Anderson have figured out."

She saw Tali and Garrus share a look of doubt before they followed her down the stairs. She went straight to the rapid transit, pulling herself together as she went. She punched in the destination as C-Sec before climbing into the skycar. She was relieved to have a minute to quietly collect her thoughts as the car took them to C-Sec. The two aliens with her didn't pry any further, but seemed to relax as more time went by without her passing out. Once at C-Sec, they hoped on the elevator that would take them to the docking bay. Shepard spotted one last keeper at the far end of the dock and decided to scan it before heading back over to Anderson and Udina who were waiting outside of the Normandy's dock.

"I've got big news for you, Shepard," Udina said. "Captain Anderson is stepping down as commanding officer of the Normandy. The ship is yours now."

"She's quick and quiet and you know the crew. Perfect ship for a Spectre. Treat her well, Commander," Anderson said.

"This isn't right! The Normandy belongs to you!" Shepard insisted.

"You needed your own ship. A Spectre can't answer to anyone but the Council. And it's time for me to step down," Anderson said.

"Come clean with me, Captain. You own me that much," Shepard said.

"I was in your shoes twenty years ago, Shepard. They were considering me for the Spectres," Anderson said.

Wait, had Anderson actually told her any of this before? Shepard started to think back to the last conversation they had about his history with Saren. He had mentioned working with the Spectre but he never did actually say that he was being considered for admission into the Spectres. Why did she think he had? Why did it feel like she already knew this when Harkin brought it up? Did she read a report somewhere and forget? This conversation, why did it seem like she'd already had this conversation? The sense of déjà vu sent Shepard's head reeling. She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat and pushed the feeling away.

 _Because you have had this conversation before. Listen to me; I think you're starting to feel me, to hear me. I need you to hear me. You need to hear me. Please, gods, just hear me._

"Why didn't you ever mention this?" Shepard asked.

"What was I supposed to say? 'I could've been a Spectre but I blew it?' I failed, Commander. It's not something I'm proud of. Ask me later and I'll tell you the whole story. For now, all you need to know is I was sent on a mission with Saren, and he made sure the Council rejected me. I had my shot. It came and went. Now you have a chance to make up for my mistakes," Anderson said.

"I won't let you down, sir," Shepard promised.

"Saren's gone. Don't even try to find him. But we know what he's after: the Conduit. He's got his geth scouring the Traverse looking for clues," Anderson said.

What, not go after Saren? She had to, if for no other reason than she was a Spectre now and she told the Council she would get Saren. Why would he tell her to not go after Saren? Finding the Conduit was important, definitely, but the only real lead she had on the Conduit was Saren and Saren was her only real lead on the reapers. _You'll find Saren, don't worry._

"We had reports of geth in the Feros system shortly before our colony there dropped out of contact. And there have been sightings around Noveria," Udina said.

This must have been what that volus merchant was talking about.

"Find out what Saren was after on Feros and Noveria. Maybe you can figure out where the Conduit is before he does," Anderson advised.

"The reapers are the real threat," Shepard said hoping that they would realize that Saren was the key to the reapers right now.

"I'm with the Council on this one, Shepard. I'm not sure they even exist," Udina said.

Shepard clenched her fist and was just about to give the ambassador a piece of her mind when Anderson spoke up first.

"But if they do exist, the Conduit's the key to bringing them back, Stop Saren from getting the Conduit and we stop the reapers from returning," Anderson said.

"I'll stop him," Shepard promised and Anderson nodded his head, showing the faith he had in her.

"We have one more lead. Matriarch Benezia, the other voice on that recording? She has a daughter, a scientist who specializes in protheans. We don't know if she's involved but it might be a good idea to try and find her. See what she knows. Her name is Liara. Dr. Liara T'Soni. We have reports she was exploring an archeological dig on one of the uncharted worlds in the Artemis Tau cluster," Udina said.

"Sounds like we should head for the Artemis Tau cluster," Shepard said.

"It's your decision, Commander. You're a Spectre now. You don't answer to us," Anderson reminded her.

"But your actions still reflect on humanity as a whole. You make a mess and I get stuck cleaning it up," Udina added.

"I'll take care of Saren. You take care of the political fallout," Shepard dug at the ambassador.

"Not exactly the answer I was looking for, Shepard," Udina said shaking his head. "Remember: you were a human long before you were a Spectre. I have a meeting to get to. Captain Anderson can answer any questions you might have."

Udina walked away leaving Shepard alone with her team and Anderson. She was feeling disoriented and confused. She wanted to ask Anderson for the rest of the story on his Spectre history but she could tell that it wasn't something that the man really wanted to talk about. She thought she knew enough, anyway. She took a deep breath and turned to Anderson, saluting him and wishing him the best. She had what she needed and she could contact him later if she had any other questions. Damnit but she hated taking his ship from him like this, it just wasn't right. Anderson saluted her back, before giving her a quick hug and a pat on the back.

She thought she heard him whisper, "I'm proud of you, kid."

Anderson walked back towards the docks elevator and Shepard turned to board her new ship.


	7. Chapter 6: Damn Thresher Maws

**Chapter 6: Damn Thresher Maws**

"So, Anderson said we shouldn't try to find Saren," Garrus said as they waited for the decontamination process.

"He did. But he also said I don't answer to them anymore," Shepard said. "I'm not really sure why he said that, to be honest. I think it is just that he doesn't want to let his problems with Saren become my focus. He thinks that the best thing to do is to figure out what the Conduit is and get to it before Saren does. Problem is, I don't know how else to get to the Conduit without going through Saren. Either way, I highly doubt that with us after the Conduit too, our paths won't cross again. I plan to find Saren, and I plan to take him down. Period. Besides, I'm a Spectre now and the Council has tasked me with bringing in Saren."

"Glad to hear it, Shepard," Garrus said.

The airlock opened and they made their way onto the ship. Shepard pointed them towards the CIC and told them that someone in there would help them get set up, or they could wait for her if they'd rather. She said she had something she needed to do. Shepard made her way to the cockpit to ask Joker to open the comm so she could address the whole ship before they took off. She stood behind his chair, resting a hand on the back.

"I heard what happened to Captain Anderson. Survives a hundred battles, and then gets taken down by backroom politics," Joker said. "Just watch your back, Commander. Things go bad on this mission, you're next on their chopping block."

"Captain Anderson should be the one in charge. It's like I'm stealing the ship from him," Shepard said.

"Yeah, the captain got screwed. But it's not like you could've stopped it. Nobody's blaming you," Joker said. "Everyone on this ship is behind you, Commander. One hundred percent. Intercom is open. If you've got anything you want to say to the crew, now's the time."

Shepard rubbed at the back of her neck while Joker spoke his reassurances. She hoped he was right, and that the whole crew was behind her. She leaned down towards the intercom; she already knew exactly what she wanted to say.

"This is Commander Shepard speaking. We have our orders: find Saren before he finds the Conduit. I won't lie to you, crew. This mission isn't going to be easy. Our enemy knows we're coming. Wherever he searches for the Conduit, we'll be there. We will hunt him to the very ends of the galaxy and bring him down. Humanity needs to do this. Not just for our own sake, but for the sake of every other species in Citadel space. Saren must be stopped, and I promise you all… we will stop him!" Shepard finished adding emphasis at the end.

"Well said, Commander. Captain would be proud," Joker offered.

"The captain gave up everything so I could have this chance. We can't fail," Shepard said.

"Yes ma'am," Joker said as Shepard turned to walk away.

Shepard made her way to the galaxy map and set a course for the Artemis Tau cluster. She would have some time before they hit the relay, and then would have several relay jumps between before they arrived and started using the FTL again. Then the search would begin, they'd have to move between systems until they found the right one with Dr. T'Soni's dig site. She decided to go change out of her armor and check up on the crew before they arrived in the Artemis Tau cluster. Then, she would take a much needed twenty minute nap if she could get herself to wind down enough to fall asleep.

After leaving her quarters, she headed over to the med bay to talk to Dr. Chakwas. She was trying to work up the nerve to mention the episode she had earlier that day to Dr. Chakwas but instead found herself talking to the doctor about Alenko's L2 implants and how severe the migraines that the faulty implants caused. They talked for a while longer about Dr. Chakwas service record and how she came to find herself serving on the Normandy. After a few moments, Dr. Chakwas seemed to grow suspicious.

"What is it, dear? What's really going on? Hmm?" The woman said as she whipped open the medical scanning device in her omni-tool.

"Nothing, nothing. I'm fine, really. I don't know. I guess I just feel bad about taking over the Normandy and leaving Anderson on the Citadel to deal with that ass, Udina by himself," Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas chuckled, "Well stop beating yourself up over it, it wasn't your call and trust me, if anyone can deal with Udina, it's Anderson."

"I suppose you're right, thanks Doc, I should go," Shepard said smiling at the doctor as she left the med bay.

She saw Kaidan across from the med bay working on something and decided she'd better check in on him, especially after hearing about his migraine issues. He stopped what he was doing and turned to face Shepard as she walked up.

"Anything you need, Commander?" Kaidan asked.

"Just checking in on you, Kaidan. Seeing how you're doing with everything that's going on. The, ah, changes that have taken place around here. New crew, new command…" Shepard trailed off.

Kaidan seemed to think about it for a moment before answering. She noticed that the lieutenant seemed to weigh his words out more than other people she was used to dealing with. She wondered if that was why she'd yet to hear him say a single harsh thing. After a moment he looked back at her and nodded slowly.

"I think that it's a shame that Anderson was forced to step aside the way that he was, but that the Normandy and her crew couldn't have possibly asked for a better replacement. I know that you're committed to this fight, and everyone else will see that passion, too. It will be interesting working with Wrex and Tali, I've never spent much time around krogans or quarians. Garrus seems like a nice guy, much nicer from what I can tell than the last turian I spent any real time around. Yeah, I think I'd say that you're pulling in some solid help, Shepard. We're going to get that bastard, Saren," Kaidan said.

Shepard smiled at the vote of confidence, "Thanks, Kaidan. I appreciate hearing that. I'll let you get back to work."

"Anytime, Commander," Kaidan said.

Shepard started to walk away and then paused, turning back to Kaidan she asked, "Hey, where did the new guys get set up at?"

"Oh, um, Garrus and Wrex are in the Cargo Bay and Tali is in Engineering," he said.

"Great, thanks Kaidan," Shepard said as she trotted off to the elevator.

Shepard took the elevator down to the lower deck of the ship. She saw Wrex leaning against some crates not far away from where Ashley was working on something at a console on the weapons bench. Garrus was across the room over by the Mako. The requisitions guy was over in the corner near the door to Engineering. She couldn't remember his name; although she was sure Anderson made the brief introduction the other day. She made her way past Wrex and over to Ashley.

Ashley nodded her head, "Commander."

"What's your opinion on the last mission?" Shepard asked.

"Kinda wish you had gotten there sooner, Commander," Ashley said.

She must be talking about Eden Prime. Shepard had meant going to the Citadel and finding the evidence on Saren, but it made sense that Ashley would still have her mind focused on Eden Prime. Losing your whole squad left a person with the kind of raw feeling that never completely went away.

"No offense. I appreciate the rescue, I just wish…," Ashley trailed off.

"You wish we'd been able to save the rest of your unit," Shepard finished for Ashley.

"Yes ma'am," Ashley nodded. "If I'd been more alert, we wouldn't have been cut down by an ambush."

"The geth are the perfect ambushers. They don't move, they don't make noise – they don't even breathe," Shepard offered.

"They have flashlight heads, ma'am," Ashley said not willing to let go of the blame so easily. "I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."

Shepard nodded her head and let the subject drop, she knew all too well what Ashley was feeling right now and she knew that if she pushed the subject, all it would do is create resentment in the Gunnery Chief. She tried changing the subject.

"Do you have a few minutes to talk, one on one?" Shepard asked dropping the formalities.

"I'm sorry, Commander. I need to get my duties squared away. I wouldn't mind talking more later, though," Ashley said.

"Dismissed, Chief," Shepard said with a nod.

She tried not to take the brushoff personally, Williams was right she needed to get settled in and her routine in place. Not to mention, Shepard had just touched on a topic the Chief was still processing. Shepard would keep an eye on her though; make sure that she was holding together okay. If she wasn't, she'd have to have Dr. Chakwas evaluate her. Great, you're the one who thinks that you're losing your mind, suddenly developed psychic powers or something, and you're thinking about having the Chief evaluated, for what PTSD? Major Depression? Gods, Shepard thought. She left Ashley and headed over to Wrex.

"Nice ship you've got, Shepard," Wrex said pushing himself away from the crates as she approached. "What can I do for you?"

"What's your story, Wrex?" Shepard asked.

"There's no story," Wrex said dismissively. "Go ask the quarian if you want stories."

"You krogan live for centuries. Don't tell me you haven't had a few interesting adventures," Shepard prodded.

"Well, there was this one time the turians almost wiped out our entire race. That was fun," Wrex said sarcastically.

"I heard about that. You know, they almost did the same to us," Shepard said.

"It's not the same," Wrex bit out.

"It seems pretty much the same to me," Shepard said getting frustrated with the krogan's attitude.

"So your people were infected with a genetic mutation? An infection that makes only a few in a thousand children survive birth? And I suppose it's destroying your entire species?" Wrex said looking at Shepard like he was considering taking a swing at her.

"I suppose it isn't all the same," Shepard conceded.

"I don't expect you to understand, but don't compare humanity's fate with the krogan," Wrex said settling down a bit.

"I was just making conversation. I wasn't trying to upset you," Shepard said shaking her head slightly.

"You're ignorance doesn't upset me, Shepard," Wrex said. "As for the krogan, I gave up on them long ago. The genophage infected us, but it's not what's killing us."

"What can you tell me about the genophage?" Shepard asked, hoping it wouldn't completely set Wrex off.

"Ask the salarians if you want details. They made it," Wrex said. "All I know, it makes breeding nearly impossible. Thousands die in stillbirth, and most never get that far. Every krogan is infected. Every one. And no one's rushing to find a cure."

"Why don't the krogan try to find a cure?" Shepard asked surprised.

"When was the last time you saw a krogan scientist?" Wrex asked. "You ask a krogan would he rather find a cure for the genophage or fight for credits? He'll choose fighting every time. It's just who we are, Shepard. I can't change that. Nobody can."

"Are your people really dying?" Shepard asked.

"We're sure not getting any stronger. We're too spread out. None of us are interested in staying in our own system," Wrex said.

Shepard didn't understand why that mattered, "Lots of species have left their homes and prospered."

"But they go to colonize new worlds. We're not settlers. We're warriors. We want to fight. So we leave. Hire ourselves out. And most of us never go back," Wrex explained.

Shepard's heart broke a little as she listened to Wrex talk about his people and the genophage. She could tell that the krogan cared a lot more than he let on. It sounded to her like he had spent a lot of time pondering the krogan plight and how to fix it, but he just didn't seem to have either the faith or the motivation to take steps towards fixing it himself. _We will help him to cure the genophage, the krogan are ready now, and Wrex will lead them into a brighter future if you keep Williams from killing him on Virmire. We always cure the genophage. Even in my darkest times, I couldn't bring myself to shoot the salarian in order to sabotage the cure._ She remembered that she wanted to talk to him about his actions with Fist and stepping out in front of her during the firefight but she'd leave that for a later time. So long as she broached the topic before she took him out on a run it should be fine. She didn't want to push him to talk too much right now.

She spent some time setting up the crew lockers, making sure that everyone had the best of what they had with what they were the most proficient with. She changed out her own gear, too, before heading over to the requisitions guy to sell off what they didn't need anymore. She then headed over to Garrus. He had his back to her and was looking at a computer he had set up by the Mako. She stopped a few feet behind him and just watched him for a moment. He intrigued her, and she wasn't really sure why. Something about him spoke to her; she fell into an easy rhythm around him. Like they had known each other for years, even though she'd only just met him. She could just make out the profile of his face from where she stood. The blue glow of his visor distorted the image slightly. He fluttered his mandibles once and snapped them in tight next to his face before tilting his head slightly. She was suddenly quite sure that he knew she was standing there, and was watching her watch him. She wasn't sure if it was just something to do with turian vision, or if maybe the visor was set to somehow watch his six, hell maybe he had just caught her reflection in the Mako's chrome. Either way, Shepard was good and properly embarrassed. Something she hadn't felt in a long time. She could feel the flush of heat rising up her neck and face. She was damned if she was going to talk to him all red faced.

She turned around quietly and headed to Engineering. Taking a few deep breaths along the way to calm herself. The Engineering door slid open and Shepard was once again taken in by the site of the massive drive core. It almost hurt to look at, the thing was like a miniature star without proper UV shielding. She headed over to Engineer Adams.

"Hey, Commander. You know that quarian? Tali? She's been spending all her time down here asking me about our engines," Adams said.

Shepard cringed inwardly, she expected there to be some resistance to having aliens on board but she had hoped that there wouldn't be any complaints.

"I'll tell her to leave you alone," Shepard said hoping that would placate Adams.

"What? No! She's amazing! I wish my guys were half as smart as she is. Give her a month on board and she'll know more about our engines than I do!" Adams said. "She's got a real knack for technology, that one. I can see why you wanted her to come along."

Shepard smiled, relieved, "I figured she'd be a real asset to the team."

"You've got an eye for talent, Commander. But I'm guessing that's not why you came down here," Adams said.

"I want to know more about the Normandy," Shepard said.

"She's the best ship I've ever served on. Probably the fastest vessel ever designed. And she's the only one using the new Tantalus drive core," Adams said.

"What's so special about the Tantalus drive core," she asked following the flow of his thoughts.

"Proportionally, it's about twice the size of any other vessel. Not only are we faster, but we can run at FTL speeds longer before we have to discharge the core," Adams explained.

"Fill me in on the IES stealth system. How does it work, exactly?" Shepard asked.

"You can't hide a ship out in space. They emit too much heat and radiation. Too easy for sensors to pick them up. Unless you find a way to capture those emissions. So our stealth systems trap the energy we give off in storage sinks built into the ship itself. No emissions to give away our locations," Adams said. "Eventually the sinks have to be vented. More than a few hours silent running and they overheat. Cooks us inside our own hull."

"There's no way for anyone to detect us?" Shepard asked.

"A visual scan can still pick us up. Anyone looking out a window could see us as plain as day. But you have to be pretty close to get an actual visual out in space. Most vessels rely on scanners. As long as the stealth systems are engaged, they can't see us. Not unless we accelerate to FTL speeds," Adams said.

"Why doesn't it work with faster than light travel?" Shepard asked.

"Cranking up the FTL blue-shifts our emissions, pushes them into frequencies too high to capture in the sinks. As soon as we make the jump, it's like setting off a flare. Sensors can pick up our location whenever we enter or exit FTL flight. But for short range missions, our stealth systems are amazing. And we've got the only one," Adams said with pride.

Shepard smiled; she loved hearing pride in someone's voice when they talked about something they were passionate about, "Where else have you served, Adams?"

"If you name a class of Alliance ship, I've probably served on it. Everything from dreadnoughts and carriers right down to frigates like the Normandy," Adams said. "My last assignment was on the Tokyo. Only a cruiser, but she was a good ship. Couldn't hold a candle to the Normandy, though."

"Carry on, Adams," said Shepard.

"Aye, aye, Commander," Adams said.

Shepard made her way over to Tali; the quarian seemed to be intently focused on whatever it was that she was doing. Shepard stood there quietly watching her for a moment, taking in the elaborate patterns to Tali's suit. It wasn't just functional, but fashionable. The hood was a deep purple with a much, much lighter – nearly white shade of purple swirled throughout creating a pattern that reminded Shepard a little of ocean waves. A strip of the same cloth wrapped around the lower part of Tali's back before rising up her sides to cover her right breast before arching over her left breast to meet back up on her left side. The purple pattern covered her hips and a large portion of her legs, primarily from the hip down over the outer thigh and ending just before her knee. A dark green fabric that looked to have a scaled pattern covered most of her torso and arms, as well as her inner thighs and her lower legs. Plates of metal had been superimposed over her arms and her boots; providing extra protection. Dark tubes could be seen wrapped around her arms and entering into her suit, straps wrapped around her chest, things, and waist holding small pouches. The purple face guard connected to the hood somehow, and the way the hood framed her face and head it gave the impression of hair. Shepard thought she was beautiful and the idea struck her as odd since she couldn't even see the other woman's face properly. _There will come a day when you see her face, and she is so very beautiful. We have loved her, too._

Tali spotted Shepard and turned to her with great enthusiasm, "Your ship's amazing, Shepard. I've never seen a drive core like this before. I can't believe you were able to fit it into a ship this small. I'm starting to understand why you humans have been so successful. I had no idea Alliance vessels were so advanced!"

"The Normandy's a prototype. Cutting edge technology," Shepard explained.

"A month ago, I was patching a makeshift fuel line into a converted tug ship in the flotilla. Now I'm sitting on board one of the most advanced vessels in Citadel space," Tali said. "I have to thank you again for bringing me along. Traveling on a vessel like this is a dream come true for me."

"I had no idea you found ship technology so interesting," Shepard said with a smile.

"It comes with being a quarian. The Migrant Fleet is the key to the survival of my people. Ships are our most valuable resource," said Tali. "But we don't have anything like this. We make do with cast-offs and second-hand equipment. We just try to keep them running for as long as we can. Some of the Fleet's larger vessels date all the way back to our original flight from the geth."

"I can't believe your fleet's still using ships that are three centuries old," said Shepard, wincing at the note of incredulity she heard in her own voice.

"They're constantly being repaired, modified, and refitted. They aren't pretty, but they work. Mostly," Tali said. "We've tried to make ourselves as independent as possible on the flotilla. Grow our own food, mine and process our own fuel. But some things we just can't make on our own. A patch to maintain the hull integrity requires raw materials we just don't have. That's why our Pilgrimages are so important."

"I want to know more about the Pilgrimage," Shepard said.

"When my people reach maturity, we leave our birth ships and seek acceptance with a new crew. It's necessary to maintain genetic diversity among the fleet. But no ship wants to accept someone who will be a burden on them. So, to prove our worth, we embark on a Pilgrimage. We set out alone, leaving the flotilla and our families behind us. We only return once we have found something of value we can bring back to the fleet. This is presented as a gift to the captain of the respective ship we wish to join. If the gift is accepted, we are welcomed into the crew," explained Tali.

"Can the captain choose to reject the gift?" Shepard asked; her curiosity piqued.

"That doesn't happen often. Most captains are eager to increase the size of their crew. It increases their own standing in our society. Even when a gift is not particularly valuable, the captain usually accepts it out of a sense of tradition. However, there is a stigma to presenting a sub-standard gift. It's not the best way to make a good impression on a new community. Most Pilgrims don't return until they find something worthwhile," Tali said.

Shepard was quiet for a moment, considering what Tali said before saying, "Tell me about your people."

"Our lives aren't easy. Resources are scarce and we are constantly on the move. Everything we do must in some way contribute to the continuation of the Migrant Fleet. There are seventeen million quarians in the flotilla, and each of us relies on the others for survival. The bonds among my people are strong. Unfortunately, we have had to surrender many of the freedoms and civil liberties other species take for granted," Tali said.

"What kind of freedoms?" Shepard inquired.

"Well, it's illegal for parents to have more than one child. If our population grows too much, it would strain our resources to their breaking point" Tali said. "Of course, we also can't allow our numbers to become too few. If our population is in decline, the rule against single births is temporarily repealed. In extreme cases of population decline, incentives are even offered to encourage multiple births. Though the Conclave hasn't had to take such measures in nearly a century."

"That's your government?" Shepard asked.

"The Conclave is our civilian branch of government. Each ship can elect a representative to serve on the Conclave and make decisions that affect the fleet as a whole," Tali began. "On matters that affect an individual ship, however, the captain has the final say. It's a tradition that dates back to the early days when the fleet was governed by martial law. Fortunately, most captains nowadays are smart enough to have an elected council from their crew to give them advice and guidance."

"So the ultimate power rests with elected officials?" Shepard asked.

"In practice. The Conclave and the respective council for each ship tend to set the rules that govern our daily lives. But in theory we are still under military jurisdiction. The five top-ranking military officials in the fleet serve on the Admiralty Board," explained Tali. "These five have the power to overrule any decisions by the Conclave in case of emergency. To do so requires unanimous agreement among the Admiralty. And they can only do this once. After that, the entire Board must resign their posts. It's a safeguard that's served us well. In nearly three centuries, the Admiralty Board has only overruled the Conclave four times."

"I want to know more about the geth," Shepard changed topics again.

"I doubt I can tell you anything you don't already know," Tali began. "It's been almost three centuries since they drove my people into exile. All I know is the story of their origins: what they were when we created them, and how they turned on us."

"Interesting," Shepard prodded.

"The geth were originally created to serve as an automated manual labor force. Initially, their intelligence was as limited as any VI. Over time, we made small modifications to their programming to allow them to perform more varied and complex tasks, bring them closer and closer to true AI status," Tali explained.

"You had to know it would blow up in your face," Shepard said.

"The changes were so insignificant, so gradual, that we were able to control them. Or so we though," Tali said in defense of her people. "But one thing we underestimated was the power of the neural network. A million geth thinking simultaneously created an inherently unstable matrix."

"So the geth share brain power?" asked Shepard.

"Many of the geth's logic systems were designed to work in concert with other nearby geth. Basically, the more of them you have in a group, the smarter they are," said Tali.

"So they're some sort of group consciousness?" Shepard asked.

"No, nothing like that. They cannot share sensory data or information. Their programming cannot handle that much simultaneous input," Tali insisted.

"Each geth maintains an individual awareness and identity. The neural network only operates on a process-based level. It's basically the synthetic equivalent of a subconscious," Tali explained.

"But when they're in close proximity," Tali continued, "they can coordinate low-level functional processes, freeing up more capacity for original or independent thought."

"What made them rebel?" Shepard asked.

"As we built more and more geth, their effective intelligence became more sophisticated, more abstract," Tali explained. "One day, a geth began to ask its quarian overseer questions about the nature of its existence. Am I alive? Why am I here? What is my purpose? As you can imagine, this caused a near panic among my people."

Shepard shrugged, she kind of sympathized with the geth so far and so she said, "I don't see what's so bad about those questions."

"The geth were created to engage in mundane, repetitive, or dangerous manual labor. That's fine for machines, but it won't satisfy a sentient being for long. The get were showing signs of rudimentary self-awareness and independent thought. If the geth were intelligent, then we were essentially using them as slaves. It was inevitable the newly-sentient geth would rebel against their situation," Tali said. "We knew they would rise up against us. So we acted first. A general order went out across all quarian-controlled systems to permanently deactivate all geth. The geth responded to this order violently."

 _Well of course they did, Tali. But it wasn't so simple as that, the geth basically begged your people for mercy. They took up arms against the quarians as a last resort, and when the quarians fled, the geth did not pursue. They didn't want to kill the quarians; they wanted the quarians to not kill them. Some of your own people died, shot down by other quarians while trying to defend the geth's right to live._

"You can't blame them for fighting for their survival," Shepard said.

"We had no other choice!" Tali insisted; her voice rising in pitch. "The geth were already on the verge of revolution. By acting quickly, we had a chance to end the war before it began. The hope was that most of the geth would still be little more than machines, incapable of organized resistance. But they had progressed much further than anyone anticipated. The war was long and bloody. Millions upon millions of quarians died at their hands. In the end, we were forced to flee our own home world. We feared the geth would pursue us, but they never came beyond the Veil. Now we drift through space, exiles searching for a way to reclaim what was once ours."

Tali was clearly firm in her belief that her people had done the right thing but the whole thing made Shepard feel sick to her stomach. To her it sounded like the quarians had accidently created a new race of sentient beings, and when they realized their mistake they opted for what amounted to genocide instead of trying to solve things peacefully. Sure, the geth might have revolted, but they might not have as well. She did definitely agree that to have continued to use the geth in such a fashion would have been slavery, but there was a simple solution that didn't involve killing off the geth: stop using them in such a manner. If the geth were beginning to question their existence, they could have been taught about their creators and their existence, helped to find a purpose in the world and learned to coexist peacefully. The quarians didn't even try; they just tried to shut them all down. Shepard had a feeling that her views would create some bad blood between Tali and herself but she couldn't and wouldn't pretend to agree with what the quarians had done. It was wrong; she felt it deep in her core. _Yes, it was, but you can help to fix it. We can't undo what's already been done, but we get the chance to show them that they can live in peace, together. Remember, this wasn't Tali's doing. She wasn't even born yet, this happened many, many years before her time and she only knows what she was taught to believe. I suppose that's not much different than Ashley's problems with aliens. Hell, human history is littered with this same kind of racist crap._

"It's hard to feel sorry for you. Your ancestors tried to wipe out another species," Shepard said bluntly.

"We made a mistake when we created the geth in the first place. But we didn't make a mistake when we went to war against them," Tali insisted. "If we had not acted, they would have wiped us out! They're a synthetic life-form. They have no use for organics. None! Why do you think they cut themselves off from the rest of the galaxy? Why do you think they've killed every organic being who's ever tried to contact them?"

"They didn't kill Saren," Shepard said.

"What does that tell you? The geth are not innocent victims in all this," said Tali. "They're the enemy. They want to destroy us. Not just the quarians; all organic life. That's why they've joined up with Saren. And that's why we have to stop him."

Shepard could tell she had pushed Tali far enough for now. She didn't want the quarian to change her mind about being aboard the Normandy and working with Shepard to take down Saren. Shepard didn't know what led to the geth's choices today, but at least she did agree with Tali that they were on the wrong side of things if they were helping Saren to attack colonies and trying to bring back the reapers. Still, the wrongs of the geth today did not negate the wrongs of the quarians in the past.

"I should go," Shepard said letting the argument go.

"See you later," Tali said.

Well this is going splendidly, Shepard thought. So far she'd managed to upset Wrex and Tali. She needed these people to be with her on this and she was not getting off to a good start.

"Let's see if we can go three for three and piss Garrus off, eh?" Shepard mumbled to herself as she left Engineering.

She made her way back over to Garrus, hoping that the awkwardness had passed. He was still busy at a console, but when she got close to him he turned and squatted down next to the Mako doing something to one of the tires. She stood next to his console for a moment watching him work. She knew that he knew she was there, but she didn't say anything, just waited. When he stood back up and turned to the console again she said hello.

"Thanks for bringing me on board, Commander," Garrus said. "I knew working with a Spectre would be better than life at C-Sec."

"Have you worked with a Spectre before?" Shepard asked.

"Well, no. But I know what they're like," Garrus said. "Spectres make their own rules. You're free to handle things your way. At C-Sec, you're buried by rules. The damn bureaucrats are always on your back."

"Being a Spectre does have its advantages," Shepard agreed.

"Exactly my point," Garrus said. "If I'm trying to take down a suspect, it shouldn't matter how I do it, as long as I do it. But C-Sec wants it done their way. Protocol and procedures come first. That's why I left."

"So you just quit because you didn't like the way they do things?" Shepard asked.

"There's more to it than that," Garrus said. "It didn't start out bad, but as I rose in ranks, I got saddled with more and more red tape. C-Sec's handling of Saren was typical. I just couldn't take it anymore. I hate leaving…"

"I hope you made the right choice. I'd hate for you to regret it later," Shepard said.

"Well, that's sort of why I teamed up with you. It's a chance for me to get off the Citadel, see how things are done outside of C-Sec. Either way, I plan to make the most of this," Garrus said. "And without C-Sec headquarters looking over my shoulder, well, maybe I can get the job done my way for a change."

"As long as you do your job well, you're free to go about your business as you see fit," Shepard said, she knew she was forming a tentative cooperative effort and he wasn't her subordinate; he wasn't Alliance.

"Thank you, Commander," Garrus said.

"Huh, that wasn't so bad. I'll have to try harder to piss him off next time," Shepard said laughing to herself.

She took the elevator back up to middle deck and then climbed the stairs to the CIC. She headed to the cockpit to talk to Joker. Now that they were in flight and everyone was settling in, she wanted to check up on the pilot and the ship.

"Commander. Something you need?" Joker asked.

"I like to know my crew. Mind if I ask you a few questions?" Shepard asked.

Joker scoffed, "I can see where this is going. You did a background check on me, didn't you? Well, I'll tell you the same thing I told the captain," he raised his voice. "You want me as your pilot. I'm not good. I'm not even great. I'm the best damn helmsman in the Alliance fleet! Top of my class in flight school? I earned that. All those commendations in my file? I earned every single one. Those weren't given to be as charity for my disease."

Well that was easy, I didn't even have to try to piss him off, Shepard thought.

"I'm sorry, Joker. I didn't even know you were sick," Shepard said.

"You mean – You mean you didn't know? Ah, crap," Joker said. "Okay… I've got Vrolik's Syndrome. Brittle bone disease. The bones in my legs never developed properly. They're basically hollow. Too much force and they'll shatter. Even with crutches and my leg braces it's hard to get around. One wrong step and CRACK! It's very dramatic! But I've learned to manage my condition, Commander. Put the Normandy in my hands and I'll make her dance for you. Just don't ask me to get up and dance, unless, you know, you like the sound of snapping shin bones."

Shepard fought back a smirk, she liked this man's confidence but oh how his attitude was just begging for her to pick at him. _You'll get him to dance, twice even if you try. Nothing breaks._

"Why does everyone call you 'Joker'?" Shepard asked.

"It's a lot shorter than saying Alliance Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau. Plus, I love to make little children laugh," Joker simply oozed sarcasm.

"I was just thinking how much you remind me of Santa Claus," Shepard quipped.

"Look, I didn't pick the name. One of the instructors in flight school used to bug me about never smiling. She started calling me Joker, and it stuck," Joker shrugged and shook his head.

"Why didn't you ever smile?" Shepard asked.

"Hey, I worked my ass off in flight school, Commander. The world's not going to hand you anything if you go around grinning like an idiot. By the end of the year, I was the best pilot in the Academy. Even better than the instructors. And everybody knew it. They'd all got their asses kicked by the sick kid with the creaky little legs. One guess who was smiling at graduation," Joker said.

"How's the Normandy performing? Is she everything they said she'd be?" Shepard asked, changing the subject.

"She's the best ship in the fleet… if you've got a pilot who knows how to handle her. The balance isn't what you'd expect. Takes a while to get used to that oversized drive core we got stuffed in the back. Her power can sneak up on you if you're not careful. The Normandy's probably too much ship for your average pilot, Commander. Lucky for you, I'm anything but average."

"I have to go," Shepard said chuckling.

"Alright, see ya," Joker said.

Shepard headed back to her quarters. She had thought about taking a nap but after making her rounds she was feeling wide awake. Instead, she decided to do some research. If she was going to be working this closely with different aliens she needed to know everything she could about their people. Her Spectre access opened up more information for her than what she would have been able to find with just her Alliance clearance so she started there.

She had just finished reading everything she could find on the quarians and the geth when Joker's voice came over the intercom letting her know that they had reached the Artemis Tau cluster. Shepard saved and then closed down the files she had pulled up for her research, she would return to them later. She left her quarters and headed up to the CIC to the galaxy map. She pulled it open on the cluster and saw that there were four potential systems to search for Dr. T'soni; Sparta, Knossos, Athens, and Macedon. The relay let them out in the Sparta system, so they might as well begin their search there.

The Sparta system had five planets and two asteroid fields. She started with Altaaya searching for any signs of life. The Normandy's information systems told her all that was on record about the planet, and the scanning revealed nothing so she moved on to the next planet. Hours later, Tremanre likewise proved to be futile in the search for Dr. T'soni. Already, Shepard was beginning to feel that this might be a waste of time. Even using FTL it was going to take days to clear out this system. When they reached Edolus and started scanning, Joker's voice came over the comm telling her that they were getting a signal from the planet's surface, an automated distress beacon. If someone down there was in trouble, Shepard had to see if she could help. She told Williams and Wrex to suit up and meet her at the Mako.

She pulled Wrex aside before the piled into the Mako and broached the topic of his actions back in Chora's Den. The krogan didn't seem to mind what Shepard had to say, which was good because she had been concerned he might protest or argue.

"I work for you now, do things your way. As long as your way isn't stupid, I don't have a problem with it, Shepard. As for getting in your way during a fight, heh, I'm a krogan, Shepard. I'm not going to be taken down by the occasional stray bullet or friendly fire. Just make sure that you don't get in my way when I'm charging," Wrex said with a shrug.

The Mako dropped down in a mountainous region, the area was arid with strong winds rattling against the vehicle. Debris from the nearby asteroid field could be seen raining down on the planet all around. The coordinates for the beacon's signal weren't far away, but a couple of other anomalies had popped up on the Mako's ground scanner. She decided to check them out first and one crashed probe, a mummified salarian corpse, and a few mineral deposits later; Shepard and her crew were pulling up on a stranded vehicle and distress beacon in a valley when all hell broke loose. _Damn_ _thresher maws._ The ground beneath the Mako began to tremble and Shepard heard the unforgettable sound of a thresher maw's cry; the same type of creature that took out her team on Akuze. Shepard shifted gears and began racing the Mako, pushing it as fast as it would go. She knew one thing for sure, and that was she did not want to be standing still in thresher maw territory. The giant, serpentine like creatures could burrow through the ground at alarming speeds. They were drawn in by vibrations on the ground and once they had your location, they would shoot up from the ground right beneath you if they could catch you. If they could get close enough, they would latch on to your vehicle and drag you under the ground. If you were too far away, they'd simply spit acid at you. They were deadly, vicious, and hard as hell to kill.

It took some crazy maneuvering of the vehicle and she didn't even know how many shots of the Mako's cannon between bursts of the machine gun to take the damn thing down. The thresher maw's acid caught them a couple of times, so they had to take cover to use omni-gel to repair the vehicle as well, which burned through their resources fast. Wrex seemed faintly amused; apparently thresher maws were common on the krogan home planet, Tuchanka. With the thresher maw dead, Shepard drove the Mako back over to the distress beacon.

Once they were able to get close enough, they saw the corpses of three Alliance soldiers surrounding the beacon. It looked like they had come to investigate the beacon and were killed by the thresher maw. Shepard deactivated the beacon while Williams looked over the bodies; the names on the dog tags were the same as the men that Admiral Kahoku had asked her to find. She told Williams to gather the tags, she'd take them back to Kahoku but there wasn't anything she could do with the bodies right now. It was a shame to just leave them out here to rot so far from home, but her mission had priority. She'd give Kahoku the exact coordinates so he could try to retrieve them later. The team piled back into the Mako and called Joker for a pick up.

Back on the Normandy they continued to scan the remaining planets in the system but found nothing. While scanning one of the asteroid belts, the Normandy picked up signs of habitation. Shepard took her Alliance team members down to survey the area. They found a small bio-dome that was still operational but there was no sign of anyone living there. A data console was still receiving enough power for her to eject the disc it held. She wasn't sure but the thought it might be prothean. She took the team back to the ship and would check out the disk later.

Looking at the galaxy map, Shepard was about to set course for Macedon but she stopped, her hand hovering over the map. _Knossos. Go to Knossos. Knossos. Knossos. She's on Therum in the Knossos system._ Shepard moved her hand over, centering the map on the system called Knossos. Shepard was exhausted, swaying on her feet as her eyelids drooped. The ship was mostly quiet, those whose shifts had ended for the day were fast asleep in the sleeping pods and damn it if her bed wasn't calling her name.

"Knossos. Why Knossos?" She asked herself.

No answer came readily to her mind, it just felt right and really it was as good of a place to continue the hunt as any of the others. She nodded to herself and then punched in the commands on the map to send the coordinates to the cockpit before stepping away from the map. Shepard headed down the stairs to the middle deck and went straight to her cabin. She stood over her bed, very seriously debating just collapsing on top of it without bothering to undress or even pull back the covers. She knew she wouldn't sleep comfortably if she did though, so she convinced herself to shrug out of her clothes before letting them drop to the floor. She wanted desperately to just leave them there, but her training ran deep. Groaning she bent over to pick her clothes back up, folded them, and laid them on her footlocker before pulling back the covers and collapsing on the bed.

Sleep claimed her fast… and then the dreams began.


	8. Chapter 7: Bad Dreams

**Chapter 7: Bad Dreams**

"Quiet, please. Make it stop," the distorted voice yells at her through the pixelated image of a man's face. Bodies are piled everywhere, all around her and the keepers just keep working as if nothing is amiss. Wrex crumples, his eyes glazing over instantly as he hits the sand, water washing up to lick at his body before carrying his blood away back into the sea. The scream the reaper-disfigured asari banshee makes the hairs on the back of Shepard's neck raise. Shepard steps into a hot tub, sinking down next to a brunette woman before leaning in to kiss her. Saren's flesh burns away as energy courses over his body, revealing a twisted metal skeleton that scurries towards him on all fours. The ragged looking geth stands before her, a piece of her old N7 armor patched into its chest, "There was a whole." Tears fall down the drell's face, "Thane, be alive with me tonight." Shepard leaves Kaidan to die so he can save Ashley. Shepard opens the tank and the krogan inside falls to his knees as the synthetic amniotic fluid rushes out of the tank around him. The reaper is crouched down over him, the plates pulled back to reveal the red energy pulling and twisting inside as the weapon primes, preparing to fire a deadly beam that will fry him completely if he fails to paint the target before the weapon fires. Shepard guns the Mako, rushing forward past geth colossi towards a bright white light that she knows will take her to the Citadel. "Lots of ways to help people. Sometimes heal patients; sometimes execute dangerous people. Either way helps," the rapid speaking salarian said. Shepard orders the troops to hold back so that they can focus on the reaper, leaving the Destiny Ascension to be destroyed and with it all of the Council. One of the dead asari stands and stumbles towards Shepard, turning she speaks with a voice that isn't her own as the rachni queen speaks through her. Kaidan looks at her in disgust before turning his back on her and walking away. A green asari falls out of the sentient plant, unfurling her body as she stands upright to face Shepard. Shepard punches the reporter in the face. Shepard shoots down one of the grotesque reaper hybrid cannibals and another of its kind runs over and begins to eat the corpse.

"Commander. Commander. Shepard, hey. Commander, wake up!" Williams kicked the bed near Shepard's head.

Shepard bolted upright in her bed gasping for air, her eyes wild as she frantically took in her surroundings. Ashley stood two feet away looking down on her; the look of amusement on her face slowly gave way to concern.

"Sorry, ma'am. I didn't mean to startle you. Joker's been trying to raise you on the comm for a while now. When he couldn't get you to answer he sent me in to wake you. We've arrived at the Knossos system," Ashley said.

"Williams? Ashley, oh, uh thank you," Shepard managed to stammer out as she ran a shaking hand through her sweat soaked hair.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but are you alright?" Ashley asked raising an eyebrow.

"Just… bad dreams. More nights than not. I'll be fine, thanks Ashley," Shepard said

Ashley nodded her head and turned to walk away before saying over her shoulder, "Nice undies, by the way, ma'am."

"Williams," Shepard said in warning.

Ashley giggled and left the room. Shepard slid to the edge of her bed and put her feet on the ground. What the fuck was that? _Memories._ Already the images were fading from her mind. Shepard struggled to hold on to them, they were important, she knew it deep down. It all felt so real, but the harder she tried to focus on them the faster they slipped away. Shepard cleaned herself up quickly before donning clean clothes and leaving her cabin. She swiped some rations from the mess hall as she passed through, tearing open the package as she headed up the stairs and to the galaxy map.

Shepard started with the outermost planet, and worked her way inward across the system. Archanes. Nothing. Zakros. Nothing. Therum. Bingo. The scanners picked up something and the planet's reports showed several prothean ruins. This had to be the place. She hoped this was the place. _There will be krogan, you'll want Wrex._ She sent word to Garrus and Kaidan to suit up and meet her at the Mako. _No, no take Wrex._ Shepard left the CIC to suit up and then headed down to meet her team. _Damn it._

They piled into the Mako and dropped out of the Normandy when Joker gave them the go ahead. The vehicle hit the ground and bounced on the shock absorbers for a moment. Shepard started to look at the scanners when Joker's voice came through on her suits comm system.

"Commander, I'm picking up some strange readings. Really strange. Like, off the damn charts," Joker said. "It looks like it's coming from an underground complex a few klicks away from the drop zone."

"Noted, thanks Joker," Shepard said back.

Closed mine entrances surrounded the drop zone, but Shepard didn't bother checking them. She knew that Dr. T'soni would be wherever the signals that Joker picked up were originating from. Shepard didn't have to go far to see that they were right next to a lava flow and it looked like the path they were going to have to take would keep them next to the molten rock. Large metal pipes were affixed to the side of the cliff to the right. It seemed like the bumpy terrain was conspiring against them, trying to force the Mako off the edge of the rock and into the lava. They followed the path along as it wrapped around and headed uphill.

Just as they rounded a corner, a geth drop ship flew overhead and hovered in midair. Two large, white, rounded objects fell from the ship and plummeted to the ground before unfolding themselves to stand up on mechanical legs. They immediately started firing on the Mako. Shepard swerved to try and avoid the balls of energy flying through the air but one clipped the back of the Mako weakening its shields. She pulled the Mako behind a ridge that provided some small cover. Shepard waited until the shields had regenerated, keeping her eye on the scanner to determine if the geth were getting any closer. They didn't seem to be so she put the Mako in reverse and crept out of cover long enough to line up a shot and fire the cannon before forwarding it back behind the rock cover.

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. It was time consuming but she knew that it was the safest way to take the geth armatures down. Finally, when the second geth had fallen she resumed driving along the path until she reached their inactive mechanical bodies. She stopped the Mako and looked over the destruction, making sure the geth weren't going to get up again and used her omni-tool to scan them for tech information.

The path twisted and turned some more before narrowing out into a land bridge. Once past the bridge, the path sloped up and around. Her scanners were picking up a lot of enemy activity so she took it slow, creeping up the hill until she could get a visual on what was up ahead. It looked like there was some sort of blockade. She could spot turrets in the distance. She didn't think that they'd be able to handle taking that blockade head on in such tight quarters. Quickly she scanned the area around them for another path and spotted an opening.

"I don't think we can take that strongpoint head-on!" Kaidan yelled before he realized that Shepard had already figured it out.

They had to dodge some heavy weapons fire in order to get to the alternate path but they made it without a scratch… only to round the corner and come face to face with a turret. Using basically the same method as before, Shepard rocked the Mako back and forth behind cover taking shots at the turret until it was down. The turrets were far easier to take out, it would seem. Moving past the destroyed turret, they came to an opening and immediately saw several geth coming at them. These were mostly the shock troopers she had encountered on Eden Prime, though a few of them were a much larger version with rocket launchers. There wasn't room to maneuver the Mako the way she had with the turrets, and these geth were closing in on the vehicle. She pulled in behind an outcropping and jumped out of the Mako, gun ready.

It was a heated battle but they had a strong position with cover, the geth were forced into a tight area as they came after her team, making them a lot easier to pick off. She gave orders to focus on the rocket troopers seeing as they were the biggest threat. She made excellent use of Garrus and Kaidan's Sabotage capabilities as well as her own Warp, Throw, and Overload. She waited a minute to make sure that there weren't any geth on the other side of the blockade about to come through. She got back in the Mako and pulled it through into the opening. Another blockade was set at an angle to the first one. The immediate area was secure, for now so Shepard exited the vehicle to clear the insides of both blockade structures.

Once both blockades were clear and the far gate was opened, Shepard moved the Mako into cover next to the door on the first blockade. She ran inside and hit the switch to lower the gate before hugging the wall so as to not give the turrets a shot at her. She ran along the wall of the inner blockade until she was back outside and in the Mako. With the first blockade's gate rolled down, she was able to position the Mako to take out the three remaining turrets the way she had the last one.

With the area cleared of all threats, she drove out of the far blockade and back out onto the path. Rounding another corner brought them in sight of another geth armature. Having a proven tactic against them, she was quickly able to destroy it with the Mako's cannon. Another one a little further away was taken down just the same. And the ones up over the next rise. She didn't want her team getting bored, though, so when they came across some foot soldiers and rocket troopers with plenty of good cover they got out of the Mako to stretch their legs. Further up the way was another geth armature, and try as it might, it couldn't get a shot at Shepard and her team from its position. That was just fine by her, she was curious to see what it would take to down one of these things without the Mako. Turned out to be quite a lot, but completely doable. Good to know. _A lot easier once you're better trained with the sniper rifle._

Just past where the last armature fell, a ramp took them up into a tunnel system. A couple more shock troopers met there end where the tunnel opened back up. This place was crawling with geth. Normally that would be a very bad thing, but she chose to take it as a sign that she was on the right track. Further ahead, the path twisted before opening up to another tunnel, and with another tunnel, more geth. She was losing count of how many they had killed already. _Don't get cocky._

Shepard came to a dead end. They were going to have to leave the Mako behind and hoof it the rest of the way. There was a small opening between rocks that looked as if they were deliberately placed to stop vehicular travel. Shepard didn't like it, but she was out of options. Weapons out, they made their way forward on foot.

"Shepard, with this many geth, do you think we'll find the doctor alive?" Kaidan asked.

"Hell, with this many geth, I'm really starting to believe that the doctor might be working with her mother and Saren," Garrus said.

"Only one way to find out. Keep your eyes open," Shepard said.

They hadn't gone far when the combat scanner picked up enemy movements. Shepard put her back to a pillar and crept along until she could see that the coast was clear for her to bolt to another boulder. She heard the stuttering sounds that the geth made and crouched low, peaking around the corner she made out two of the rocket troopers. Her scanner showed two more in the area but she couldn't see them from her location. Using her marksmanship along with Garrus' Sabotage and Kaidan's Overload they took the rocket troopers down before moving to another vantage point. She laid eyes on a shock trooper and fired a shot, the foot soldier threw up some sort of barrier, but she kept shooting until the barrier fell. The geth was too stupid to take cover behind the rock while its barrier was still protecting it. Shepard retrained her weapon on the geth and took it down with three shots. There was only one more in the area and by her estimates and feedback from the scanner; it was behind that same rock as the last one. She darted forward, and put her back to the rock. She waited until she knew it was close and then popped out of cover, using a Throw on it before finishing it off with her pistol.

They pressed forward until Shepard spotted a clearing up ahead and ducked down behind a rock. A quick glance told her that there were more geth in the clearing. She could see a sniper nest built into the side of a cliff, and further past it in the distance a construct loomed in the sky. She couldn't tell from her current position what it was. Once she thought they had taken out all of the geth, Shepard made her way down into the clearing. More geth appeared and she had to quickly take cover again. She was starting to tire. She spared a look at Garrus and Kaidan. She couldn't tell if the turian was feeling the effects of exertion or not, but she could see it in Kaidan.

Pushing onward, they climbed the ramp cut into the earth. Soon, metal scaffolding, silos, and rafters came into sight. It looked like they were getting close. Just as they got to where they could see what had to be the entrance to the dig site, a geth ghost dropped from a rafter and scuttled low to the ground over to a metal sheet and climbed up the vertical surface; its sinewy body looking almost organic. A geth drop ship flew overhead. _To your left, behind the metal sheeting. Go, go, go!_ Shepard darted behind the metal sheeting, knowing that the crates strewn about would not provide adequate cover, especially against the more mobile rocket troopers that just hit the ground. Armatures didn't seem to move around as much. She could use the cover to draw the smaller troops to her.

The geth ghost was hopping around from surface to surface. The damn thing was fast and didn't stay in one spot for more than a second, making it near impossible to shoot. They had to split their attention between the rocket troopers and the ghost until the rocket troopers were out of the picture. Finally she caught the ghost with a Throw and then as it tried to recover her team took it out. Shepard moved into a position where she could get a clear shot on the armature from cover. Working in tandem, they threw everything they had at the armature; biotics, tech, and good old firepower. They didn't escape unscathed, but Shepard was able to get everyone back on their feet and in fighting condition once the area was secure.

They cautiously made their way over to the ramp. The door opened up to a tunnel sloping downwards. Her scanner picked up enemy movement in the area and she had no cover in the tunnel. She moved slowly down towards the opening, peering into the room. There were paths cut into the earth with metal walkways filling in the gaps and creating bridges across the area. A geth shock trooper stepped into Shepard's line of sight. Without thought she fired her pistol until the geth crumpled. Two more came into view, already firing up at her team. She rushed down and out of the tunnel onto a metal platform to shoot down at the geth. The Armor Piercing III ammo mods they had on their weapons ripped through the geth better than anything else so far.

The walkway wrapped around the cavernous room; Shepard could see a blue containment field at the far side of the area next to an elevator. Shepard headed over to the field to be certain that there wasn't a way for her to lower the field from this side. Finding nothing, they headed to the elevator.

"I've never visited a prothean ruin before. Beside for the Citadel, I mean," Garrus said.

Shepard's mind went to Eden Prime and the prothean beacon. A shudder passed over her body when she remembered the images that the beacon shoved into her mind. The blood and the death. The monsters ripping apart the protheans. She could live a thousand lives and never get those images out of her mind. _Hmph. Oh the irony._ Shepard activated the elevator and it took them down seven levels – Shepard counted the strange tiled rooms that were on each floor as they passed them – before opening up on to another platform. They were immediately confronted by three geth assault drones. They dispatched of the drones before going to the next elevator. Four levels down and the elevator started to screech; sparks began flying off the console and Shepard braced for impact thinking that the whole thing was going to fall. Luckily, it managed to make it safely down the two more levels before stopping. They wouldn't be taking that elevator back up. The metal platforms in this area had collapsed, forcing them to watch their step and jump down to the platform below.

Shepard heard a woman's voice, "Uh… hello? Could somebody help me? Please?"

She spun around to locate the source of the voice and saw an asari floating in a bubble behind a containment field in one of those tiled areas. _Liara… If you hadn't found me after the Collectors attacked my ship… if you hadn't given my body to Cerberus… would this still be happening to me?_ Shepard and her team moved closer to the field. The asari had her arms spread out to the side and didn't appear to be able to move. She wore a green and white lab uniform; similar in design to the one Dr. Chakwas wore.

"Can you hear me out there? I am trapped. I need help!" the asari pleaded.

"Are you okay? What happened to you?" Shepard asked.

"Listen. This thing I am in is a prothean security device. I cannot move, so I need you to me out of it. Alright?" the asari explained.

Shepard wasn't going to free this asari, who she believed to be Dr. T'soni until she knew where the woman stood. She cut right to the chase.

"Your mother is working with Saren. Whose side are you on?" Shepard demanded to know.

"What? I am not on anybody's side!" the asari sounded genuinely confused. "I may be Benezia's daughter, but I am nothing like her! I have not spoken to her in years. Please. Just get me out of here."

Shepard noticed that the asari didn't question who Saren was, or what exactly it was that her mother was doing with Saren. She didn't even question who Shepard was, or how Shepard knew that she was Benezia's daughter. Maybe she had already received news of the events on the Citadel. She wasn't completely sold on the matter, but she had to get Dr. T'soni out either way. If she was working with Benezia, Shepard needed to take her in to custody and interrogate her to find out everything she could about Saren and his plans to find the Conduit. If she wasn't working with Benezia, it didn't mean she'd be willing to help Shepard. Especially if it meant going into a battle against her own mother, but Shepard needed to try if Dr. T'soni was the expert on protheans that Udina and Anderson believed her to be.

"How did you end up in there?" Shepard asked.

"I was exploring the ruins when the geth showed up, so I hid in here. Can you believe that? Geth! Beyond the Veil!" Dr. T'soni said sounding excited even after having to hide from the geth and becoming trapped in the prothean device.

"I activated the tower's defenses. I knew the barrier curtains would keep them out. When I turned it on, I must have hit something I wasn't supposed to," a note of embarrassment crept into Dr. T'Soni's voice. "I was trapped in here. You must get me out. Please."

"We'll find some way to help you," Shepard said trying to calm the woman.

"There is a control in here that should deactivate this thing. You'll have to find some way past the barrier curtain," Dr. T'soni said. "That's the tricky part. The defenses cannot be shut off from the outside. I don't know how you'll get in here. Be careful. There is a krogan in here with the geth. They have been trying different ways to get past the barrier."

"Really could have mentioned that sooner," Shepard mumbled as she turned away from the barrier curtain to explore the area.

"First the geth and Benezia, now Saren's got krogan working with him too?!" Kaidan exclaimed.

"We should have brought Wrex," Garrus said.

 _I tried telling her that! She didn't listen._

Shepard grunted in response. Looking down over the edge of the platform they were standing on, Shepard saw some mining equipment down below. She thought there might be something down there that they could use, or maybe even another way through. She started to make her way down the ramp when she heard the unmistakable sound of geth. She checked her scanner and saw the red triangles on the screen indicating that there were in fact enemies present. Damn it, nothing is ever simple. Two shock troopers, a rocket trooper, and a sniper. She almost missed the sniper until she saw the glint of red coming from its red dot sight. Growing tired of playing games with the geth, Shepard rushed straight for the sniper getting in close and personal as she fired her pistol in rapid succession. The geth hit the ground before she had closed the distance.

Returning to the large piece of machinery she passed on her charge at the sniper, Shepard looked it over and realized that it was a mining laser. It was currently pointed at the earth just below Dr. T'soni. It was dangerous, but she didn't see any other way around. She hoped that the security device the asari was trapped in would protect her. Shepard opened the console and studied it for a moment before attempting to hack into the firing trigger. _Let me. I know how to do this already. Let me._ The voice inside Shepard strained and pushed, trying to take control of the situation as it had with the AI back at the Citadel. It pushed and prodded, struggling to be heard but all attempts were futile. _What's different? Why can't I get through again? You're calm. That must be it. You're not full of fear like you were before. Damn it._ Shepard got the laser to fire on her second attempt. The laser tore through the rock and dirt, ripping a hole in the ground. When the laser stopped, and the dust cleared, Shepard could see light coming through the hole.

Weapons readied, they headed towards the opening and stopped long enough to make sure it was stable before dropping down. A few feet in and the hole opened up into another room like the one Dr. T'soni was trapped in, marking another level to the prothean ruin. This one was opened on both ends, allowing Shepard to pass through to a large, rounded shaft. A platform extended from the tiled area and out to an elevator system. Shepard activated the elevator and it took them back up to where Dr. T'soni was. Shepard walked up behind the suspended asari. Dr. T'soni tried to look back over her shoulder but couldn't turn very far. When Shepard came into her field of vision she released a breath.

"How… how did you get in here? I didn't think there was any way past the barrier!" Dr. T'soni said.

"We blasted through with the mining laser," Shepard shrugged.

"Of course. Yes. That makes sense," said Dr. T'soni. "Please… get me out of here before more geth arrive. That button over there should shut down this containment filed."

The doctor couldn't point, but she was able to turn her head enough to look in the direction of the console. Shepard activated the console and dropped the containment field. Dr. T'soni dropped to the floor, landing on all fours. She stood and dusted off her hands as she turned to look at her rescuers.

"Any idea how we get out of this place?" Garrus asked.

"There is an elevator back in the center of the tower. At least, I think it's an elevator. It should take us out of here. Come on!" Dr. T'soni said.

Dr. T'soni led them back to the elevator platform that Shepard used to reach her.

"I – I still cannot believe all this. Why would the geth come after me? Do you think Benezia's involved?" Dr. T'soni asked.

"Saren's looking for the Conduit. You're a prothean expert. He probably wants you to help him find it," Kaidan said.

"The Conduit? But I don't know –," Dr. T'soni started to speak.

She was cut off when there was a rumbling noise and the platform they were on shook slightly. Everyone paused to look up and around the area, trying to pinpoint the source of the noise and movement.

"What the hell was that?" Garrus asked.

"These ruins are not stable. That mining laser must have triggered a seismic event," Dr. T'soni said.

She headed to the console, "We have to hurry. The whole place is caving in!"

Shepard activated her comm, "Joker! Get the Normandy airborne and lock in on my signal. On the double, mister!"

"Aye, aye, Commander. Secure and aweigh. ETA eight minutes," Joker replied.

"Not much margin for error," Kaidan said.

Dr. T'soni got the elevator active and they were on their way back towards the surface. The elevator came to a stop and a krogan appeared with a handful of geth in tow. Shepard held a hand out towards Garrus, halting him from drawing his weapon. She wanted to talk to this krogan before they had to kill him.

"Surrender. Or don't. That would be more fun," the krogan said.

"In case you didn't notice, this place is falling apart," Shepard said.

"Exhilarating, isn't it?" the krogan said with a smile before stepping down onto the elevator platform.

"Thanks for getting rid of those energy fields for us. Hand the doctor over," he said.

"Whatever it is you want, you're not getting it from me," Dr. T'soni piped up.

"She'll stay with us, thanks," Shepard said waving off the krogan's demands.

"Not an option. Saren wants her. And he always gets what he wants," he said before looking at the geth, "Kill them. Spare the asari if you can. If not, doesn't matter."

"Damn, it, I should have brought Wrex!" Shepard yelled as she ran for what little cover there was. _Obviously._

She made heavy use of Kaidan's and her own Throw as well as Kaidan's Lift to keep the krogan off his feet as much as possible. Killing the krogan was top priority, there was nowhere to run to avoid his charge if he locked in on her and got close enough. Kaidan went down, Garrus was injured, and her shields were down before they finally took the krogan out. The last geth standing shot Garrus and he crumpled to the floor. Liara was hiding behind one of the supports, but Shepard saw her fling a biotic Throw at the geth. She could fight and she had been helping them. Good. Shepard finished off the geth while it was in the air. She used Medi-gel to patch up Kaidan and Garrus before they were all running for the exit. The barrier dropped as Shepard got near, a sign that the power was failing. The whole place was shaking and she could see areas of the ruins that were caving in fast.

They ran for it, dodging falling debris and jumping broken sections on the metal scaffolding. Shepard turned to look over her shoulder to make sure everyone was still with her. A large section of the ceiling began to crack and fall, dust raining down on the area just behind them.

"Move! Move! Move!" Shepard yelled to her team.

Shepard shoved Dr. T'soni ahead of her, she'd be damned if they didn't get the doctor out alive after all this. Finally, she saw the tunnel that led to the door ahead and pushed herself to run faster for the exit. Dr. T'soni opened the door and the group spilled out into daylight, rushing down the ramp outside. The Normandy hovered just above them. Shepard paused, bending down to put her hands on her legs and suck in some fresh air before heading to the ship.

With everyone on board, the Normandy took off while Shepard stripped off her armor and headed to the debriefing room. She called in the whole team for this. They all had a right to know whatever information Dr. T'soni might be able to give them. As the team was sitting down, Joker's voice came in over the comm.

"Too close, Commander. Ten more seconds and we would've been swimming in molten Sulphur," Joker said with his usual sarcasm. "The Normandy isn't equipped to land in exploding volcanoes. They tend to fry our sensors and melt our hull. Just for future reference."

"We almost died out there and your pilot is making jokes?" Dr. T'soni said from her chair.

Shepard still stood in the middle of the room with her arms crossed. She turned to look at Dr. T'soni when the woman spoke. Shepard wasn't sure that bringing the woman onto the Normandy was wise unless she was being secured for legal transport to stand trial at the Citadel, but the only other option at the time would have been to leave her on the planet to die in the eruption. _It's Liara; you won't find a more loyal crew member._

"Joker pulled our asses out of there. I think he's earned the right to a few bad jokes," Shepard said defending her pilot.

"I see. It must be a human thing. I don't have a lot of experience dealing with your species, Commander," Dr. T'soni said squirming in her seat. "But I am grateful to you. You saved my life back there. And not just from the volcano. Those geth would have killed me. Or dragged me off to Saren."

"What did Saren want with you? Do you know something about the Conduit?" Kaidan asked.

"Only that it was somehow connected to the prothean extinction. That is my real area of expertise. I have spent the past fifty years trying to figure out what happened to them," Dr. T'soni said.

"Just how old are you, exactly?" Shepard asked.

"I hate to admit it, but I am only a hundred and six," Dr. T'soni confessed.

"Damn!" Ashley said. "I hope I look that good when I'm your age."

"A century may seem like a long time to a short-lived species like yours. But among the asari, I am barely considered more than a child," Dr. T'soni said. "That is why my research has not received the attention it deserves. Because of my youth, other asari scholars tend to dismiss my theories on what happened to the protheans."

"I've got my own theory on why the protheans disappeared," Shepard said.

"With all due respect, Commander, I have heard every theory out there." Dr. T'soni said dismissing Shepard. "The problem is finding evidence to support them. The protheans left remarkably little behind. It is almost as if someone did not want the mystery solved. It's like someone came along after the protheans were gone and cleansed the galaxy of clues. But here is the incredible part. According to my findings, the protheans were not the first galactic civilization to mysteriously vanish. This cycle began long before them."

The woman definitely liked to hear herself talk. Shepard wondered if she was always so dismissive and condescending. Shepard decided to use it to her advantage and get the woman to tell her everything she knew before Shepard showed her hand.

"Where'd you come up with this theory? I thought there wasn't any evidence," Shepard said.

"I have been working on this for fifty years. I have tracked down every scrap and shred of evidence. Eventually, subtle patterns start to emerge. Patterns that hint at the truth. It is difficult to explain to someone else. I cannot point to one specific thing to prove my case. It is more of a feeling derived from a half century of dedicated research. But I know I'm right. And eventually, I will be able to prove it. There were other civilizations before the protheans. This cycle has repeated itself many times over."

"If the protheans weren't the first, then who was?" Shepard asked.

 _Leviathans. They were the first to fall to the reapers._

"I don't know. There is barely any evidence on the protheans. Even less on those who came before them. I cannot prove my theory. But I know I am right!" Dr. T'soni insisted. "The galaxy is built on a cycle of extinction. Each time a great civilization rises up; it is suddenly and violently cast down. Only ruins survive. The protheans rose up from a single world until their empire spanned the entire galaxy. Yet even they climbed to the top on the remains of those who came before. Their greatest achievements – the mass relays and the Citadel – are based on the technology of those who came before them. And then, like all the other forgotten civilizations throughout galactic history, the protheans disappeared. I have dedicated my life to figuring out why."

"They were wiped out by a race of sentient machines. The reapers," Shepard said bluntly.

"The – The reapers? But I have never heard of – How do you know this? What evidence do you have?" Dr. T'soni sounded indignant.

"There was a damaged prothean beacon on Eden Prime. It burned a vision into my brain. I'm still trying to sort out what it all means," Shepard said.

"Visions? Yes… that makes sense. The beacons were designed to transmit information directly into the mind of the user. Finding one that still works is extremely rare. No wonder the geth attacked Eden Prime," said Dr. T'soni. "The chance to acquire a working beacon – even a badly damaged one – is worth almost any risk. But the beacons were only programmed to interact with prothean physiology. Whatever information you received would have been confused, unclear. I am amazed you were able to make sense of it at all. A lesser mind would have been utterly destroyed by the process. You must be remarkably strong-willed, Commander."

"This isn't helping us find Saren. Or the Conduit," Kaidan said.

"Of course. You are right. I am sorry. My scientific curiosity got the better of me. Unfortunately, I do not have any information that could help you find the Conduit. Or Saren," Dr. T'soni said.

"I don't know why Saren wanted you out of the picture. But I think we'll be a lot better off if we bring you along," Shepard said.

"Thank you, Commander," Dr. T'soni said as she stood and walked towards Shepard. "Saren might come after me again. I cannot think of anywhere safer than here on your ship. And my knowledge of the protheans might be useful later on."

"And her biotics will come in handy when the fighting starts," Wrex said.

"Good to have you on the team, Liara," Shepard said.

"Thank you, Commander. I am very gratef – whoa. I am afraid I am feeling a bit light-headed," Dr. T'soni said closing her eyes and holding her head.

"When was the last time you ate? Or slept? Dr. Chakwas should take a look at you," Kaidan said.

"It is probably just mental exhaustion, coupled with the shock of discovering the protheans' true fate. I need some time to process all this. Still, it could not hurt to be examined by a medical professional. It will give me the chance to think things over. Are we finished here, Commander?" Dr. T'soni said.

"We can talk again after you've seen the doctor. The rest of you… dismissed!" Shepard said.

"Mission reports are filed, Commander," Joker's voice said over the comm. "You want me to patch you through to the Council?"

"Patch them through, Joker," Shepard said.

"Setting up the link now, Commander," Joker said.

Holographic images of the councilors came into focus at the comm station in the debriefing room. Shepard stepped closer once the room was clear.

"We've received your report, Commander. I understand Dr. T'soni is on the Normandy," Tevos said.

Sparatus looked away from Tevos and turned his attention to Shepard, "I assume you're taking the necessary security precautions?"

"Liara's on our side. The geth were trying to kill her," Shepard said.

She was mostly sure that Liara was on their side, at least, but she couldn't show doubt to the Council. _She is._

"Benezia would never allow Saren to kill her daughter," Tevos said.

Valern said simply, "Maybe she doesn't know."

"Or maybe we don't know her," Sparatus said. "We never expected she could become a traitor."

"At least the mission was a success," said Valern.

"Apart from the utter destruction of a major prothean ruin," Sparatus snarled. "Was that really necessary, Shepard?"

"The geth were crawling all over those ruins. We were lucky to make it out alive," Shepard said.

It wasn't as if she destroyed the ruins on purpose.

"Of course, Commander," Valern said. "The mission must always take priority."

"Good luck, Commander. Remember, we're all counting on you," said Tevos before they disconnected the call.

Shepard stood in the quiet debriefing room alone with her arms crossed. Her body felt weak and she was covered in dust from Therum. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, cringing as her fingers caused the fine grains of dirt to scrape across her scalp. She was trying to understand the chain of events that led to her standing where she was; a Council Spectre in charge of the Normandy, tasked with chasing down what might possibly be the galaxies most dangerous man and his asari matriarch sidekick before they found a way to bring back a group of sentient machines hell bent on wiping the galaxy of all civilization with the aid of the geth and now krogan, too. She only knew what the reapers were because a beacon left behind by a species that died out 50,000 years ago seared the images of their demise into her mind. A week ago she was enjoying shore leave in the arms of some man whose name she didn't even remember and admittedly maybe never knew. _Sorry, can't help you there._ She'd been through some pretty crazy shit in her life, but this really seemed to be the icing on the cake. And to top it off, she was starting to think she might be cracking.

"Uh, Commander? Everything alright in there?" Joker's voice came over the comm.

She turned and looked up at the camera in the debriefing room. Joker must have been watching her stare off into space. She gave the camera her best approximation of a smile.

"Yeah, Joker, just thinking," Shepard said.

She left the debriefing room to get away from prying eyes and made her way to her cabin. She knew Joker would be waiting for her to go to the galaxy map and type in the coordinates for their next destination but she needed a minute to herself. In her cabin, Shepard sat down and leaned forward putting her elbows on the desk and hiding her face in the palms of her hands. Her eyes stung with unshed tears. She wished she could cry, but she had forgotten how many years ago. She hadn't cried since she left Mindoir, but Shepard thought that if she could cry now maybe it would make her feel better. She had a galaxy to save, though, so going insane or not she pulled herself together and hit the showers.


	9. Chapter 8: Writes Our Name In The Stars

**Chapter 8: She Writes Our Name In The Stars**

Having given it some thought as she was falling asleep the night before, Shepard decided it was best to finish scanning the Artemis Tau cluster to see if there were any other signs of geth activity. There might be other prothean ruins in the area that Saren was scouting out. She didn't want to leave any stone unturned, even if they were trying to beat Saren to the Conduit. Hell, maybe they would find something that Saren missed and it would give them the edge they needed. _Don't be stupid. There's nothing important here. Go talk to Liara again, convince her to join with you so she can see the images the beacon left. Make her keep looking until she realizes it's Ilos that we need to get to and then let's go. Nothing else matters._

At the galaxy map, Shepard punched in the coordinates for the Athens system. She stood staring at the map for a while without really seeing it before turning away and heading down to the mess hall. She put on a pot of coffee and leaned against the counter as she waited for it to brew. Once there was enough for her to steal a cup, she did and carried it over to a table. Sitting down she wrapped her hands around the warm cup and inhaled the rich scent as the steam warmed her face.

A few minutes later, Kaidan stood over her with his own cup of liquid caffeine. He motioned towards the bench across from Shepard and she nodded. Kaidan sat down and stared at his own cup for a while in silence.

"That was pretty close. On Therum, I mean," Kaidan said breaking the silence.

"It was," Shepard blew lightly over her coffee before taking a sip. "The turian councilor is pissed off that the ruins got destroyed. As if I did it on purpose."

"Well, it is a shame that we lost the ruins but I'm just happy that we got everyone out of there alive," Kaidan said looking towards the med bay. "So, what do you make of Dr. T'soni?"

"I think she's incredibly smart. A bit full of herself, but still young. For an asari, anyway. She's… innocent. Naïve. Definitely not a soldier. I actually feel a little bad for pulling her into all of this, especially considering who we're going up against. I don't think she's involved with Saren and Benezia's plans, but we're asking the woman to help us against her mother… maybe even kill her mother if things go south. It's going to shatter her, but we need her help," Shepard said.

"I can't imagine being put in her position. Do you think she's up for the task?" Kaidan asked.

"I honestly don't know, Kaidan. That's why I'm taking things a little slow, buying her what time I can to fully come to terms with what it is we're asking of her. We're going to finish clearing out this cluster before moving forward. I need to know if there are any more geth in this area. I think I'll take her with me the next time we go out, so I can watch her and see how she handles herself," Shepard said taking another sip from her cup.

"That sounds like a good idea, Commander. If you want, if you think we should, I can start working with her. Helping her to improve her combat skills," Kaidan offered.

"Let's wait and see how this next run goes, but that might be necessary. Thank you, Kaidan," Shepard said.

Kaidan smiled, "Of course, Commander. Anytime. You need anything; that's what I'm here for."

Shepard returned the smile but it didn't reach her eyes. She had so much on her plate right now; she was finding it hard to decide where to begin. She watched Kaidan over the top of her cup for a moment. He seemed to be contemplating something.

"Something you want to say, Alenko?" Shepard finally asked.

"Off the record, I think there's something wrong here," Kaidan began. "This Saren is looking for records on some kind of galactic extinction. But we can't get backup from the Council? Sorry, Commander. There's writing on the walls here, but someone isn't reading it."

"The Council doesn't want to believe anything's wrong. I'd call it human nature, but...," Shepard trailed off with a half shrug.

"I hear ya. I – It just seems like a group that's been around as long as the Council should see this coming. It's funny. We finally get out here, and the final frontier was already settled. And the residents don't even seem impressed by the view. Or the dangers," Kaidan said studying his coffee intently.

"Well, well, you're a romantic. Did you sign on for 'the dream', Alenko? Secure man's future in space?" Shepard asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, I read a lot of those books when I was a kid. Where the hero goes to space to prove himself worthy of a woman he loves. Or, you know. For justice. Maybe I was a romantic in the beginning. But I thought about it after Brain Camp – ah, sorry, 'Biotic Acclimation and Temperance training.' I'm not looking for 'the dream.' I just want to do some good. See what's out here. Sorry if I got too informal. Protocol wasn't a big focus back in BAaT," Kaidan said.

"Tell me about it," Shepard said.

Shepard liked to know her crew; she was expecting these men and women to have her back in a fight. She wanted to know that she could trust them, and to trust them, she needed to know what made them tick. A service record only told her so much. It only told her what they had done, but not who they were. Most in her position demanded formalities at all times – liked to stay emotionally distant from those that they worked with. Not Shepard. Shepard went out of her way to foster friendships with her crew. It was the rest of the world that she kept at a distance.

"'Biotic Acclimation and Temperance' didn't last past the airlock. To the kids they hauled in, it was 'Brain Camp.' Sorry, 'hauled in' is unkind. We were 'encouraged to commit to an evaluation of our abilities, so an understanding of biotics could be compiled.' There are worse results of 'accidental' exposure to element zero in the womb. Beats the brain tumors some kids grew up with," Kaidan said.

"Is there some question about how you were exposed?" Shepard asked catching the way Kaidan emphasized 'accidental'.

"My mother was downwind of a transport crash. It was before there were human biotics. A little after the discovery of the Martian ruins. It only gets iffy around '63 when Conatix was running out of first-gen subjects. Until then, they'd relied on accidentals. Bunch of guys in suits show up at your door after school. Next thing you know, you're out on Jump Zero," Kaidan said.

"You know of any intentional exposures for certain?" Shepard didn't like the sound of that.

"No one 'knows.' Doesn't mean they didn't happen. As big as the exposures were, it was hard to track down accidentals. It was different then. No one knew the potential, so there wasn't a lot of regulation. Anything Conatix did was gold. I'm not saying they intentionally detonated drives over our outposts. But in retrospect, they were damn quick on the scene," Kaidan said.

They were both quiet for a moment, drinking their coffee as Shepard mulled that over.

"'Jump Zero' is the Gagarin Station, right? What's it like?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, that's the official name. Biggest and farthest facility we had for decades. Right on the termination shock, the outer edge of the solar system. It's where they did all the 'goose chase' FTL research. Before we caught on to using mass effect fields. It was a sterile research platform when I was there," Kaidan said.

"There were other kids in the same boat, right? At least you weren't alone out there," Shepard said.

"That's true. We did have a little circle that'd get together every night before lights-out. We didn't have much to do, though. It was a research platform then, and Conatix kept Jump Zero off the extranet. To prevent leaks," Kaidan said.

"Then you must've had plenty of time to get to know each other," Shepard said.

"Yeah. We'd sit around and bull every night after dinner. Play cards or network games. There was this girl named Rahna who had a little circle grow up around her. She was from Turkey. Her family was very rich. But she was smart, and charming as hell. Beautiful, but not stuck up about it. Like you, I guess. Ma'am," Kaidan said.

Shepard's eyebrow twitched but she didn't acknowledge the insinuation. She thought that if she stayed neutral, Kaidan would come to realize that she wasn't interested in going down that road with him. Hell, she wasn't interested in going down that road with anyone. Not right now, not while she had images of protheans being ripped apart every time she closed her eyes. Not while she thought she might be cracking.

"Sounds like she was special to you," Shepard said focusing him back on the girl, Rahna.

"She was. Maybe she felt the same, but… Things never fell together. Training. You know," Kaidan said.

"Jump Zero's a long way from home. What was it like?" Shepard asked.

"The grand gateway to humanity looks a lot better in the vids. Anyway. This was supposed to be a casual debrief, not a bull session about stuff that happened years ago," Kaidan said.

"We have to depend on each other in combat. I like knowing what kind of man I have at my back," Shepard said with a shrug.

"I understand, ma'am. I won't let you down," Kaidan said. "You make a habit of getting this personal with everyone?"

"Of course. But I don't enjoy it with everyone. We'll talk again later," Shepard said.

"I'll, uh – I'll need some time to process that, Commander," Kaidan said. "But yeah, I'd like that."

Shepard paused with her cup halfway to her mouth. She winced inwardly as she realized what her words must have sounded like to the lieutenant. She wasn't sure if she should say anything or not, she didn't want to be too presumptive and she didn't want to be a bitch, either. There were enough men and women out there who thought she was a bitch, she didn't really need it from her crew. Shepard let Kaidan walk away, thinking that she would find a way to address the matter later; take some time to think about exactly what to say first. _It doesn't really matter, he'll hate you just the same later no matter what. If he lives through Virmire, anyway._

Shepard drained her cup before taking it back over to the sink to rinse out. Her mind wandered back to the moment on the Citadel when it felt like she had lost control of herself. She searched the memory, combing over it, trying to remember the feeling exactly. What had she been thinking when it happened? Had that ever happened before? Shepard turned the water off and put her mug down on the foam mat next to the sink. She gripped the lip of the sink and leaned forward, putting her weight on her palms. There was a time, something kind of similar happened on Mindoir. After watching her parents die. It was almost like she was watching things happen for a time then, and not really there. But that felt more like watching a movie or something, she thought. This was different.

"I'm not going crazy," Shepard said defiantly to herself.

She heard a quiet cough behind her and spun around, smacking her elbow on the counter as she did. She cursed and grabbed her elbow as she looked up to see Garrus standing a few feet behind her. Amusement danced in his eyes.

"Sorry, Shepard. I forget sometimes that human hearing isn't as, ah, sensitive as turians. I thought you knew I was here. I didn't want to risk you trying to break my wrist again so I thought it was safer if I just waited for you to uh, finish staring at the sink," Garrus said.

 _Liar. And a smartass._

Shepard felt the heat rise in her face so she tried to hide it by looking down at her elbow, rubbing the tender bone.

"Sensitive hearing, huh?" Shepard asked.

"Hmm. Good eyes, too," Garrus said tapping a talon against the plating next to his eye.

The movement caught Shepard's attention and her eyes followed his hand up to his face.

 _It's always strange, seeing him again for the first few times without the scars. We grow accustomed to his scars; stop noticing them after a while. It's like you get so used to seeing a man with a beard and then suddenly one day he shaves and he just doesn't even look like the same person anymore._

Shepard squinted, "You didn't really think I knew you were there, did you?"

The turian fluttered his mandibles, "No. But you knew that I knew you were there when you stopped to watch me."

It wasn't a question. Shepard felt the heat increase in her face. She crossed her arms and met Garrus' gaze once more.

"You're on my ship. I like to know what the people on my ship are doing," Shepard said.

She saw the glow of his visor shift slightly, and his eyes narrowed perceptibly.

"Is that so? Shepard, your face is doing that red thing that human's faces do when you're sick, angry... or embarrassed. I forget what you humans call it," Garrus said.

Shepard dropped her arms to her side and looked indignant, "It's called blushing, and I am not."

Garrus tapped the plating next to his eye again in response.

"Okay, well, it's not polite to point it out, Garrus," Shepard said conceding the point.

"I'll try to remember that, Shepard. So tell me, are you sick?" Garrus asked.

"No," Shepard said flatly.

"Are you angry? Because I have to say, I wasn't a part of the First Contact War but it is still a bit unnerving to have a human soldier staring at your back without explanation…," Garrus said.

Shepard sighed and shook her head, "And there I was thinking I lucked out of managing to piss everyone on the ship off. No, Garrus, I'm not angry and I have no problem with turians or any other species. Well, okay, maybe I still have some issues with the batarians but that was different. That wasn't war; that was slavers breaking into my home when I was a teenager and killing everyone I knew and loved. But even still, I realize that it wasn't the fault of every batarian that I meet."

Shepard's hand went to her mouth, "I – I don't know why I just said all of that. I'm sorry."

 _Because you already trust him, utterly and completely. Because I trust him, utterly and completely._

Something flashed in Garrus' eyes, and his mandibles pulled in close to his face. _Anger. Disgust._ When he spoke again, his voice had taken on a deeper timbre.

"I've had more than a few run-ins with slavers while working with C-Sec. Shepard, I'm sorry," Garrus said.

"No, it's okay. Really. It was a long time ago and I've dealt with it," Shepard shrugged. "As good as anyone ever can, I suppose."

Garrus stood perfectly still watching Shepard as she ran a hand over her face and then used it to rake through her hair. When she looked back at him, the amusement had returned to his eyes. He leaned forward slightly and stage whispered.

"That leaves embarrassment, Shepard," Garrus said.

"Oh for the love of – Alright, Vakarian. I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed in the cargo bay because I realized you knew I was standing there watching you like an idiot. I was embarrassed just now because you startled me and I realized you probably heard me standing here talking to myself. Happy?" Shepard said throwing her hands up in surrender.

Garrus chuckled, his mandibles flaring, "Almost. Why were you really watching me, if not to plot my death? And I highly doubt that my work on the Mako is that interesting to anyone but me."

Shepard leaned back against the sink and Garrus leaned in against the counter studying her.

"Maybe I was plotting your death, you were messing with my ride," She said with a smirk.

"Hmmm," Garrus pointed to his visor, "I know I make this visor look good, but it isn't just for show. I've got it programmed to monitor heartbeats. It helps with targeting, but it's especially useful in the interrogation room. See, with this visor, I've gotten pretty good at telling when someone is feeding me – what is it you humans say, bullshit?"

Shepard pushed herself off of the sink and closed the distance to the counter Garrus was leaning on. Mimicking his stance, she leaned against the counter opposite of him and smiled.

"Well, maybe that's just the best answer you're going to get, Vakarian. You really shouldn't have told me that, though," Shepard said.

"Why's that?" Garrus asked inhaling slowly and deeply through his nose.

 _He's scenting you. Interesting. I've never noticed that before. Not this early. Then again, you never stood staring at him like an idiot before either._

"I'm N7, Garrus. It just means that I have to remember to use my training to keep my heart rate steady when I want to lie to you," Shepard said with a smirk.

 _He'll just figure out how to make his visor detect the subtle changes in pupil dilation later._

"No? Really? You can do that?" Garrus asked.

"Try me," Shepard said.

"Hmm. Alright," Garrus said watching her closely. "What were you drinking in that cup?"

"Rum. Yeah, sometimes the job stresses me out and I have to knock back a few shots to relax. Ashley was just up here, she and I were having a drink together. Talking about our plans to take over the galaxy now that I'm a Spectre and all," Shepard said.

Garrus squinted and the circular part on his visor contracted. Shepard smirked when she heard him let out a low growl before he fidgeted with the visor.

"I can smell the coffee and I know you were talking with Kaidan. Alright, maybe that one was too simple. Why do you think you're going crazy?" Garrus asked.

Shepard leaned in a little closer, "Because I've been having erotic dreams about Wrex."

Garrus barked a laugh, "Alright. Damn it, Shepard, you're good."

"Good? Only good? C'mon Vakarian, I'm the best," Shepard said with a wink as she pushed back from the counter.

"We'll have to see about that, this isn't over Shepard. I'll catch you slipping," Garrus said.

"So what'd you come in here for anyway? I'm not keeping you from eating am I?" Shepard asked.

"Nah, I was on my way back down to the cargo bay and heard you talking with Kaidan. Thought I'd say hello," Garrus said.

Shepard's eyes narrowed playfully, "Garrus… were you eavesdropping?"

"I, uh, well…," Garrus scratched a gloved talon lightly over the face of the counter picking at something that wasn't there, "I just didn't want to interrupt. It seemed like the two of you were having a priva – well I've only been on the ship for a few days but I've been around enough humans on the Citadel to tell when…"

"Spit it out, Vakarian," Shepard said.

Garrus looked up at Shepard, "Well, it is obvious Kaidan has a thing for you. I didn't want to get in his way if he was going to finally make a move. The guy doesn't seem very smooth, Shepard."

Shepard let her head fall back and laughed up at the ceiling, "No, no he does not. He's a good guy, though. Maybe a little too good. For me at least. I think I said the wrong thing; gave him the wrong impression. I'm going to have to figure out a nice way to let him down," Shepard snapped her head up to look at Garrus, "How do you do that?"

"Do what?" Garrus asked.

"Get me to tell you things I had no intention of telling anyone?" Shepard asked.

Garrus made a humming sound, his mandibles fluttering slightly as he watched her, "It wasn't a skill that I knew I had, but I'll keep that in mind."

Shepard raised an eyebrow, "So wait, if you were there long enough to hear our conversation, what took you so long to say hello after he left?"

"Oh, well, that one's easy," Garrus said folding his arms and standing with one leg out to the side. "I waited until your back was turned so I could sneak up on you. Wanted to see the great Commander Shepard jump."

Shepard's mouth dropped open, "Uh! You ass! I hurt my elbow!"

"Oh I know, that was the best part," Garrus said smugly as he turned at walked away.

Shepard grabbed a spoon off the counter and threw it at his retreating form, but he took a step to the side and the spoon clattered ineffectively to the floor. Garrus chuckled as he disappeared from sight. Shepard picked the spoon up and tossed it into the sink. Her eyes caught sight of Liara talking to Dr. Chakwas through the med bay window. Shepard decided she should check up on the asari before heading back to the CIC.

She entered the med bay to find Dr. Chakwas alone, "Where'd Liara go?"

"Oh, I've set her up in the office at the back. I don't really use it and I thought she would like having her own private workspace. I hope you don't mind?" Dr. Chakwas said.

"Oh, no, that's fine. How's she doing, doc?" Shepard asked.

"Liara's fine. A bit shaken up after having the geth attack her, but she'll be fine," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Thanks, Dr. Chakwas," Shepard said heading towards the office in the back of the med bay.

She opened the door to find Liara sitting at a desk working quietly and wondered if asari hearing was as good as turians. Either way, she didn't want to startle the asari so she scuffed her feet along the floor a little more than usual as she walked up behind her. Liara turned to look over her shoulder before standing up to face Shepard.

"Commander, are you coming to check up on me?" Liara asked.

"You look much better. How are you feeling?" Shepard asked indirectly avoiding answering Liara's question.

"Dr. Chakwas assures me I am going to be fine. I was impressed with her knowledge of asari physiology," Liara said.

"You're in good hands. Dr. Chakwas knows what she's doing," Shepard said.

"I never properly thanked you for saving me from the geth, Commander. If you hadn't shown up…," Liara said.

"I'm just glad we got there in time," Shepard said.

"So am I," said Liara. "I know you took a chance bringing me aboard this ship. I have seen the way your crew looks at me. They do not trust me. But I am not like Benezia. I will do whatever I can to help you stop Saren. I promise."

"Don't worry, Liara. I trust you. I know you won't let me down," Shepard said.

Shepard could tell that this woman needed all the encouragement and reassurances she could get. This whole thing must be terrible for her, Shepard thought. Shepard had lost her mother when she was still a kid, but she couldn't honestly say what she would do if she found herself in Liara's shoes. Shepard didn't believe that she would help her mother do something as heinous as what Benezia is doing, but she wasn't completely convinced that she would be able to fight her own mother. Point a gun at her mother and pull the trigger. That might be what Shepard is asking Liara to do. _Sometimes she is there with us, when we face Benezia. She has had to help you kill her mother, hundreds of times at least even if she doesn't know it. Or maybe she does know it. Maybe they're all going through this, too. Maybe there is another Liara that's just like me fighting to be heard inside of Liara's head right now. Another Garrus, another Wrex, another Kaidan, and another Ashley. Maybe wherever Jack, Miranda, Thane, Mordin… all of them are right now, maybe they're all going through it, too. Maybe I'm not alone. I'm so tired of being alone. So tired._

Liara smiled, "It means a lot to hear you say that, Commander. Thank you."

"Do you know why Benezia joined up with Saren?" Shepard asked knowing it was a tough, but necessary question.

"I don't understand it. She was always outspoken about the need for the asari to become more involved in shaping galactic events. Maybe she thought allying herself with Saren would somehow before the greater good in the long run. At least, I hope so," Liara said sounding troubled by her mother's actions.

"This hurts you, doesn't it?" Shepard asked.

"None of this makes any sense to me. I have not spoken to Benezia in many years, but I know her! And this was not like her. Something changed," Liara insisted.

"I'd like to know more about the asari," Shepard said trying to give the distraught asari something else to think about.

"We were the first species to discover the Citadel. We were instrumental in forming the Council. And we always strive to be the voice of peaceful cooperation in galactic disputes," Liara said. "My people believe we are all a part of a single galactic community. Each species contributes something to the greater whole. Although we seek to understand other species, it seems few of them seek to understand us. The galaxy is filled with rumors and misinformation about my people."

"Like what?" Shepard asked.

"Most of the inaccuracies are centered around our mating rituals. My species is mono-gendered. 'Male' and 'female' have no real meaning for us. We still require a partner to reproduce. This second parent, however, may be of any species and any gender," Liara explained.

"I don't understand. Your species can mate with anyone?" Shepard asked.

"Mating is not quite the proper term," Liara said shaking her head. "Not as you understand it. Physical contact may or may not be involved, but it is not an essential element of the union. The true connection is mental. Our physiology allows us to meld with other beings. We can touch the very depths of their minds. We explore the genetic memory of their species. We share the most basic elements of their individual and racial identities. We then pass these traits on to our daughters. It is how we learn to grow as a species, and how we develop a greater understanding of other races."

 _She likes to get physical, though. There's this spot right behind her crest that if you touch, she just melts like chocolate in your mouth. She loves you, you know, well maybe not quite yet but she will. Whether or not you choose to be with her. She always loves us. Loves us enough to comb through space to find our body and take it to our enemies because they are the ones who can bring us back to life. She writes our name in the stars._

"What happens to your partner after the union?" Shepard asked genuinely curious.

"Every relationship is different. Some unions are a single encounter, with both parents parting ways afterwards. Others can be more long-term. Sometimes an asari and her partner will stay together for many decades," Liara said.

"Do you know who Matriarch Benezia chose as her partner?" Shepard asked.

 _Matriarch Aethyta. You'll meet her on Illium, and then later again on the Citadel after the reapers hit hard. Her father was a krogan, and she's hilarious to talk to._

"She rarely spoke of her partner, though I know my father – if you want to use that term – was another asari," Liara said.

"Benezia never told you her partner's name?" Shepard asked.

"Unions with our own kind is no longer common. Not for the purposes of reproduction. Most asari believe it weakens our species. Asari daughters inherit racial traits from the father species. If both parents are asari, then nothing has been gained. Or so conventional wisdom would hold. I am what is sometimes called a 'pureblood', though no asari would ever be cruel enough to say the word to my face. It is a great insult among my people. It is possible Benezia's partner was embarrassed by their union. She may have been too ashamed to publicly acknowledge me as her offspring," Liara explained.

Shepard thought Liara sounded a little ashamed as she talked about her heritage. It made her angry, that her people would make her feel that way. It sounded stupid and illogical to Shepard. Evolution would dictate that their species would continue to change over time whether or not they bred with other species. All of their offspring were still asari; it just didn't make sense to her.

"Maybe she wanted to meet you but couldn't. Something could have happened to her. Maybe she passed away," Shepard said.

"You might be right. I hope you are. But I have no way to know for sure. Benezia never spoke of her partner. Whatever happened, it caused her too much pain to dwell on it. She raised me by herself, though that is not uncommon. Many asari raise their children alone, particularly if the father species is short-lived. Often, the partner will pass on long before the child reaches maturity," Liara said.

"You asari live for a thousand years. What happens when your partner dies?" Shepard asked.

"Few sapient species live as long as my kind. We have learned to take a philosophical approach to our unions. We do not focus on the inevitable loss of our partners. Instead, we enjoy the time we spend with them. And even after they are gone, a part of them lives on in us. The union is a connection that transcends both time and space," Liara said.

Shepard smiled at that, she thought it was a lovely idea, "I should go."

"Goodbye, Commander," Liara said.

Shepard left the med bay and made her way back up to the CIC. They had arrived in the Athens system and Shepard was studying the galaxy map.

"Message coming in. Patching it through," Joker's voice came in over the comm.

"Commander Shepard, my name is Nassana Dantius. I have a job for you. I can't say any more in an unsecured communication. If you're interested in hearing my offer, meet me on the Citadel so we can talk in person. I'll be waiting in the diplomat's lounge on the Presidium," the transmission played.

"Set course for the Citadel, ma'am?" Joker asked over the comm.

"No, Joker. We'll clear this cluster and then head to the Citadel, as planned. I don't know who this Dantius is but I'm not going to come running from the other side of the galaxy just because she thinks I'm a merc for hire," Shepard said.

"Aye, aye, Commander," Joker said.

After several hours spent scanning planets in the Athens system and finding nothing of importance. Shepard returned to the galaxy map and typed in the coordinates for the Macedon system. She left the map and went down to the mess hall to grab a late dinner. She tried to remember, but she didn't think she'd eaten lunch. Her stomach was none too pleased with her. She was surprised to find Wrex in the kitchen; she hadn't seen him outside of the cargo bay since he came aboard.

"Shepard," he said by way of greeting.

"Wrex," Shepard responded in kind.

"You're out of ryncol," the krogan said as he turned and walked away with a tray stacked high with several packets of rations and what was likely the only fresh meat on the ship.

"I'll uh, pick some up when I can…" She said as he left the room.

She thought she heard him grunt in reply. Shepard chuckled to herself. That one was going to be a challenge. She found some fresh vegetables in the stasis chamber of the refrigerator and made herself a salad. As an afterthought she grabbed a beer, she didn't know whose they were but she'd replace it when they got to the Citadel. She took her food to her cabin and ate while she pored over the documents she had saved on her search for information about the krogans.

As intrigued as she was to learn about krogan physiology and the krogan's redundant systems, Shepard began having trouble keeping her eyes open about an hour in. She took her empty plate and beer bottle back out to the mess hall. She saw that most of the sleeper pods were already occupied. It was nice to be able to lie down and stretch out instead of having to sleep in the pods, she thought. Shepard returned to her room and stripped down to her underwear before crawling in to her bed. Sleep took her quickly.

She was slowly sinking down to the bottom of a vast ocean. She desperately hoped that the diving mech would stand up the pressure. It was dark, the flares she sent out casting such little light in the void. He was listening to an audio-message found next to a dead krogan, "O Blue Rose of Illium, if these humble words reach you, then I have joined my ancestors. My dream was to be by your side, a weed beside your beauty, twining together in the warm Tuchanka sun…" She was in agony because she just watched Garrus take a rocket to the face, he was lying on the floor covered in his own blue blood gasping for breath and barely alive, a man standing next to her in yellow armor with a scarred up face told her, "He's not gonna to make it." She was standing on a metal platform, a distorted holographic image was speaking to her, "But the genocide of an entire species is a long, slow process. Years passed. Decades, centuries. The reapers persisted. And my energy reserves were dwindling."

"Rise and shine, Commander!" Joker's voice came over the comm waking Shepard from her slumber.

She opened her eyes and looked around the dark room, the faint glow coming from her laptop orientating her to her location. She sat up in the bed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Her head was killing her.

"What is it, Joker?" Shepard asked.

"ETA to Macedon 30 minutes. Thought you might like some breakfast before you get to work," Joker said.

"Alright, thanks Joker," Shepard said.

"Anytime," Joker said.


	10. Chapter 9: One Of The Guys

**Chapter 9: One Of The Guys**

The Normandy's scanners picked up some anomalies on a planet called Sharjila. They weren't certain what was down there, but Shepard thought it was worth looking into so she told Joker to have Tali and Kaidan suit up and meet her at the Mako. Shepard donned her armor and got her guns strapped on before heading to the Mako. Tali was already waiting and she could see Kaidan heading their way. She opened the door on the Mako and stood back for Tali to climb inside. Once Tali was secure in her seat, Shepard climbed into the driver's seat and strapped herself in. A moment later, Kaidan climbed in the other side.

"What have we got, Commander?" Kaidan asked while they waited for Joker to drop the Mako.

"Not sure, the scanners showed signs of debris fields and other anomalies. A secured area of some sort as well. We're not sure what it is so we're going in to have a look," Shepard explained.

"Do you think that it could be Saren, or more geth?" Tali asked.

"Maybe, there's a good chance. We don't know what's in this area or exactly what it is that Saren is after other than something he called the Conduit. If there is something here he wants – then there is something here we want, too," Shepard said.

 _It's not Saren, it's not the geth. It's pirates and slavers. General scum. You don't need to be here. You have more important things to worry about._

The ship opened up and the Mako was released, Shepard loved the feel of the drop. Though, a glance over her shoulder at Tali's desperate grip on the handholds told her that Tali did not feel the same. She couldn't help but to smile, imagining the terrified look that must be on the quarian's face behind that mask. The Mako hit the ground and rolled forward with its momentum before coming to a stop. Shepard pulled up the systems scanners, trying to zero in on the anomalies the Normandy detected.

They found a crashed probe not far from the drop site and recovered what they could from it before heading on to the next location. An old abandoned campsite held a capsule of asari design; it contained journal entries from an asari matriarch. She couldn't spend much time looking over them herself, this planet had a high pressure level and it wasn't safe for her or her crew to be outside of the Mako for very long. She put them back in the small capsule to protect them and took them with her to the Mako. She would ask Liara to make copies of them along with the turian insignias and the salarian ID tags she had found for their own records before taking them to the Council. Did turians have museums, she wondered, she was sure the asari probably did.

They took the Mako and headed to the last location of interest on the scanners. As they got closer to the area, little red triangles indicating enemy activity began popping up on the Mako's scanners. In the distance, Shepard caught sight of a building nestled down in between the rocky peaks. Moving slowly, Shepard got the Mako into a position of cover where she could see the area. It was heavily guarded, complete with sniper nests, barricades and asari guards roaming on foot. She was a little surprised to see the asari outside of the compound; she supposed the pressure of the atmosphere must not be a problem for them. She was a little disappointed that it wasn't geth that they were facing; thinking it probably meant that this had nothing to do with Saren. Still, why was there a heavily guarded compound in an area otherwise void of life? She needed to check it out. She'd give them the 'fire on sight' test.

"Hold on, guys," Shepard said. "We're going in; if they fire on us we'll be forced to assume they are hostiles. If they hail us, we'll talk to them and see what this place is."

Shepard slowly drove the Mako up over a ridge and down towards the area. She went at a relaxed pace so that the approaching vehicle didn't come off as an immediate threat and so that if they needed to take cover again they could do so more quickly. As soon as the Mako came into sight, the snipers started firing and the ground soldiers started flinging biotics and bullets.

"Well, there's our answer. Tali, on the guns. Kaidan, keep watch on the shields," Shepard ordered.

Instead of taking cover, Shepard went for a more aggressive tactic and drove straight for the building. Tali using the Mako's guns to take out as many as she could get before Shepard pulled the Mako right up next to the building. Tali swung the guns around and took out those who were in sight before signaling to Shepard to change position. Shepard moved the Mako around the building lining up more asari for Tali to shoot down.

"Lost shields," Kaidan said.

Shepard reversed the Mako until it was hidden behind the building while they recovered the shields. Tali picked off any stupid enough to try to come close to the Mako. When the shields were back up, they moved to the opposite side of the building and finished off the few stragglers. They parked the Mako near the building entrance and went inside.

It took them a few minutes to clear out the inside of the building, killing a couple of krogan and too many asari to count. The area was laid out to the enemy's advantage giving them multiple positions of cover while her team only had the door until they could press further into the room. Once the area was cleared, Shepard began looking around trying to ascertain what these people were doing here. A side room on the main floor had several weapons lockers and a medical station, but nothing to explain the purpose of this stronghold. Upstairs, Shepard found a desk with a computer. She sat down and began digging; it didn't take her more than a minute to understand exactly what was going on here and exactly why she had been contacted by Nassana Dantius.

"Well now… this is interesting," Shepard said.

"What did you find?" Tali asked.

Kaidan stayed by the door to the office watching in case anyone else showed up while Tali took up station next to Shepard. Shepard had several files open on the computer and pointed to a document that laid out the transport costs for the slaves that had been bought and sold through this location.

"They were slavers, and pirates by the looks of things. What's captured my attention, however, is that the leader of this fine organization is sister to one Nassana Dantius. Right after we reached the Artemis system, I received a transmission from Dantius – who is apparently an asari ambassador on the Citadel – telling me that she had a job for me if I was interested. Wanted me to meet her on the Citadel to discuss it in person," Shepard said.

Kaidan glanced over, "Was Dantius involved with her sister's activities?"

"I'm not seeing anything to indicate that she was, but I do get the impression that Dantius knew about her sister's slave trade. The Council must not know about this. It's not really cool to hold her sister's activities against her if she wasn't involved, but if she knew about these activities and didn't report them; Dantius could be in for a lot of trouble. I've downloaded these files. Let's get out of here," Shepard said.

Back on the Normandy, Shepard went to the cockpit and leaned in over the empty co-pilot seat.

"Back to the Citadel, Commander?" Joker asked.

"No, change of plans. I'm going to check out some of the reports we've received from the Alliance and other sources involving clusters nearby. Hades Gamma and then over to the Horsehead Nebula; that's where Noveria is as well. Seems like this Dantius woman might could use a little time to sweat. We'll get back to the Citadel soon enough, we'll need to refuel and restock but after what I just found down there, I'm in no hurry to get to Dantius," Shepard said.

"What did you find?" Joker asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Evidence that her sister was in the slave trade and she knew about it," Shepard said.

"Was?" Joker asked.

Shepard smiled and nodded, "Was. Let me know if Dantius tries to contact us again."

"Aye, aye. Oh, and Commander? I prefer gold to silver. You know, for my medal," Joker said with a shrug as he looked up at Shepard. "I figured you'd recommend me for one since I pulled your, uh, boots out of the fire."

Shepard smirked and stood up straight, "If we present you with a medal, you'll end up sitting on stage listening to politicians make speeches for a couple of hours."

Joker nodded, "That's a good point. They'd probably make me shave, too. I spent the last seven weeks working on this baby. No medal's worth that. So, Commander, why don't you tell me why you're really here?"

 _Because you're one of her best friends and she doesn't know it yet. Talking to you was just the first thing she thought to do when she got back on the ship._

Shepard took a minute to mull that over; she wasn't sure why she was there, really. She could have told Joker all of that from anywhere on the ship. Still, he gave her the opening; she might as well use it to her advantage and get to know the guy a little better. If he'd let her.

"How'd you end up joining the Alliance?" Shepard asked.

"If you're looking for an inspirational tale of the crippled kid overcoming impossible odds, you're going to be disappointed," Joker said. "My mother was a civilian contractor working for the Alliance. I basically grew up on the Arcturus station, back when they were building up the fleets. Spend all that time around Alliance ships and there's a good chance you'll end up going to the Academy."

Shepard nodded and then patted the headrest of Joker's seat, "I have to go."

"Alright. See ya," Joker said.

Shepard made her way to the galaxy map and put in the coordinates for the Hades Gamma cluster. There had been reports of a kidnapped chairman of the Parliament Subcommittee on Transhuman Studies. The report indicated that it was believed the chairman was being held by a group of biotics on a derelict freighter in the Farinata System. Another report said that a survey team had dropped out of contact in the Antaeus System.

Shepard went down to the cargo bay to change out weapons in the lockers and sell off what they didn't need to the requisitions officer. Robert, she remembered finally. His name was Robert Davis. When she was done with that, she headed over to Ashley. She wanted to check up on the woman, make sure she was holding it together after Eden Prime.

"Commander," Ashley said by way of greeting.

"What's your opinion on the last mission?" Shepard asked remembering the vague question got Ashley talking well last time.

"Not sure I buy Dr. T'Soni's story. About her and her mom not talking. They're family, right?" Ashley said shaking her head.

"I think she's being straight with us. Or, at least, I don't think she lies very often," Shepard said.

"Yeah, she's probably really bad at it," Ashley said nodding. "Too bad those ruins got destroyed. I mean, they lasted thousands of years. That's impressive."

Shepard cringed recalling Councilor Sparatus' remarks about the destruction of the ruins.

"Do you have a few minutes to talk one-on-one?" Shepard asked.

"Sure. I was hoping to get a minute of your time. Off the record," Ashley stammered.

"I keep an open-door policy. If you have any concerns, lay them on me," Shepard said.

Ashley looked down at the floor in front of her for a moment before taking a deep breath, "Alright. I know things are different aboard the Normandy, but – I'm concerned about the aliens. Vakarian and Wrex. With all due respect, Commander, should they have full access to the ship?"

"They may not serve the Alliance, Chief, but they're allies. At least as far as Saren goes," Shepard said.

"This is the most advanced ship in the Alliance Navy. I don't think we should give them free reign to poke around the vital systems. Engines. Sensors. Weapons," Ashley said.

"You don't trust the Alliance's allies?" Shepard asked beginning to feel vaguely annoyed.

"I'm not sure I'd call the Council races allies. We – humanity, I mean – have to learn to rely on ourselves," Ashley said.

"Standing up for ourselves doesn't mean standing alone," Shepard said.

"I don't think we should turn down allies. I just think we shouldn't bet everything on them staying allies," Ashley said. "As noble as the Council members seem now, if their backs are against the wall, they'll abandon us."

"You've got a pessimistic view of the universe, Williams," Shepard said shaking her head slightly.

"A pessimist is what an optimist calls a realist," Ashley said. "Look. If you're fighting a bear, and the only way for you to survive is to sic your dog on it and run, you'll do it. As much as you love your dog, it isn't human. It's not racism. Not really. Members of their species will always be more important to them than humans are."

And apparently humans will always be more important to you than other species, so what's your point, Williams, Shepard thought. Dogs are great, but we never considered them to be people. We recognize the alien species as people; they recognize us as people. That makes things very different.

"These seem like deeply-held beliefs, Williams. What made you think this way?" Shepard asked.

"My family's defended the Alliance since it was founded. My father, my grandfather, great-grandmother – they all picked up a rifle and swore the Oath of Service. I guess we just tend to think of Earth's interests as our own," Ashley said.

"You're lucky. I lost my family on Mindoir. Are you related to anyone I'd have heard of?" Shepard asked, trying to ease the tension.

"Couldn't say, Commander. I read about Mindoir. The Alliance screwed the pooch on that one. Should have had a bigger garrison. Is that why you're out here? To take the fight to the pirates?" Ashley asked.

"Mainly, I wanted to serve. Protect the Alliance, save lives. You know," Shepard said.

"Glad to hear it. I'd hate to think you're out here for a free college education," Ashley said.

"It doesn't sound like you've worked with aliens before," Shepard said wanting to better understand the woman's stance.

Ashley shook her head, "No ma'am. Mainly I've been groundside. Part of the surface garrison forces. I did get a rotation on a space station for training. 'Every marine, a rifleman; every rifleman, zee-gee certified.'"

"That's odd. Your record is spotless, and your technical scores are exemplary. You should be serving with the fleet," Shepard said.

"Anyway, that's why I haven't served with many aliens, Commander," Ashley said.

That's a sore spot, Shepard thought. Probably more to it than that. Leave it be for now.

"Alright. I can see where your concerns are coming from, Williams. But this is a multilateral mission. You're going to have to work with aliens, like it or not," Shepard said.

"It won't be a problem, Commander. You say 'jump,' I say 'how high.' You tell me to kiss a turian, I'll ask which cheek," Ashley said.

Shepard shook her head, "I don't think kissing turians will be necessary."

"You never know, Commander," Ashley said.

"Dismissed, Chief," Shepard said.

"Ma'am," Ashley said.

Shepard stopped by to say hello to Wrex on her way to the elevator. The krogan was in the same place as usual, watching the cargo bay like he expected Saren to pop up out of nowhere ready for a fight.

"So, we've got Saren on the run," Wrex said pushing himself off the wall.

"It won't be long now. Saren's good, but I'm better," Shepard said with a smile.

"Good? He's rotten. To the core. I could tell as soon as I met him," Wrex said.

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?" Shepard asked annoyed and too focused now to explain the human idiom.

"I would've if I thought it was important," Wrex said.

"I think I'd like to hear about it just the same," Shepard said her brow furrowing.

"This was a while ago. A bunch of mercs were bragging about a job out near the edges of the Terminus Systems. They said it paid well and the boss was never around to ride them. They said he was looking for more men, too. So, I checked it out," Wrex said.

"I didn't know Saren was openly recruiting mercs," Shepard said, maybe that explained the krogan working with him she thought.

 _That and he's breeding them on Virmire._

"It wasn't that open. And he only showed his face once. We'd been raiding ships in the area for months when we took out this massive cargo freighter. Our biggest haul yet. I was on board checking bodies for valuables, looking for extra credits. That's when I saw him," Wrex said.

"What did Saren want with the ship?" Shepard asked.

"I don't know what he wanted. He was just moving through the ship. Watching. Couple of the mercs called him by name, but he never spoke to them. Never spoke to anyone. I had a really bad feeling about him, so I got the hell out. Didn't even wait to get paid," Wrex said.

"What kind of cargo was the freighter carrying? What was Saren after?" Shepard pumped Wrex for more information.

"I don't know. All I saw on that ship was food and medical supplies. There were some basic weapons, but nothing big. If there was anything of value on that ship, I didn't see it. That's why I didn't mention it sooner," Wrex said.

"Whose ship was it?" Shepard asked, still trying to understand what Saren was after.

"It was a volus trading vessel. Big one, lots of guards. But they were no match for us," Wrex said.

"That's the only time you saw him?" asked Shepard.

"Yeah. Didn't even know who he was. Still wouldn't if I hadn't joined up with you. But my instincts were right. Every other merc on that mission turned up dead within a week. Every damn one," Wrex said.

Shepard stood there, her thoughts racing through her head. Was there any way she could find out what ship it was, when this happened? Maybe she could get a manifest for everything that was on that ship at that time. She glanced back up at Wrex who was watching her, his big red eyes studied her but revealed nothing.

"So long, Wrex," Shepard said.

"Shepard," said Wrex.

She was on her way back towards the elevator when she glanced over and saw Garrus watching her as he fiddled with his visor. A smile spread across her lips and she changed course.

"Commander. How are you?" Garrus asked.

Shepard watched him fiddle with something on his visor for a moment.

"Why did you want to be a C-Sec officer in the first place?" Shepard asked.

"Hm. That's a good question. There were several reasons, I guess," Garrus said.

"Like what?" Shepard prodded.

Garrus shuffled his feet and looked off to the side for a moment, "Probably the same as most officers. I wanted to fight injustice, wanted to help people. I guess my father had something to do with it, too. He was C-Sec. One of the best. I grew up hearing about his accomplishments or seeing his picture on the vids after a big arrest. He's taking my resignation pretty hard."

"He's not impressed that you're going after Saren?" Shepard asked.

"My father's a C-Sec man to the bone. 'Do things right, or don't do them at all,' he says. He thinks I'm being too rash. Too impatient. He's worried I'll become just like Saren. He actually talked me out of becoming a Spectre when I was younger. For the same reasons," Garrus said.

"You were asked to be a Spectre?" Shepard asked, though she had to admit she wasn't very surprised.

"Well, I was targeted as a possible Spectre candidate. Me and about a thousand other turian military recruits. I could have received special training, but my father didn't like it. He despises the Spectres. He hates the idea of someone having unlimited power with no accountability. He wouldn't like you, Commander. No offense," Garrus said.

"Spoken like a true C-Sec officer," Shepard said with a sardonic chuckle.

"Yeah. It's a speech I've heard one too many times," Garrus said. "But Saren's not going to play by our rules. C-Sec's rules. If you want to nail Saren, you need to send someone who isn't restricted by policies and procedures," Garrus said.

"You're a quick learner, Garrus. We'll beat him at his own game. It's the only way to stop someone like him," Shepard said.

"I'm right behind you, Commander," Garrus said. "Uh, before you go?"

Shepard turned back around to face him, "Yeah?"

"Lie to me," Garrus said.

Shepard laughed, "Still Vakarian, really?"

"Come on, lie to me," Garrus pleaded.

"Alright, alright. Hmmm let's see. I was married for ten years to a man named Marshall. We had three children together before we divorced; he fell in love with a man named Steven and left me and the kids. Times were really rough for a long time. I did my best trying to raise them on my own, but I just wasn't able to handle it. I guess I'm just not cut out for motherhood. I ended up putting the children up for adoption, and then I joined the Alliance. I thought that if I could get on a ship, get far enough away from Earth, that I could make myself forget my failures. Truth is, not a day goes by that I don't think about Jesse, Sam, and Robin. I find myself wondering if they remember me; if they hate me. What they look like now. If they're happy," Shepard said.

Garrus was squinting in concentration, "Okay, okay. Making stuff up without context is easy. Poor Jess, Sam, and Robin. How about… let me ask you a question. A real question and you lie to me?"

Shepard laughed, "Garrus, I've got work to do."

"Humor me, Shepard, just one question. I swear," Garrus said.

Shepard nodded, "Alright, shoot."

"Spirits woman, you're lucky I've spent time around humans. You don't tell turians to shoot unless you really mean shoot," Garrus shook his head slightly.

"Garrus…" Shepard whined.

"Alright. On the Citadel, with the AI, you looked like something scared the life out of you. What happened?" Garrus asked.

Shepard's breath caught, and she saw Garrus' eye twitch. He'd seen her heartrate spike. His mandibles fluttered.

"No. Ask something else," Shepard said flatly.

He cocked his head to the side, and pulled his mandibles in tight. Shepard could tell that his every instinct as a C-Sec officer was telling him to sink his teeth into that one and shake it until something fell loose. Shepard stared at him with her jaw clenched.

"Just not that, please. I don't even want to think about that… I – I can't," Shepard said.

"Hmm, okay. At the Citadel, before we boarded the Normandy, you said you intended to find Saren and take him down regardless of what Anderson and Udina said. Would you have followed orders to not look for Saren if you hadn't been given Spectre status?" Garrus asked.

"Of course, I always do everything by the book," Shepard said with a smile.

"Damnit. Shepard you're killing me. Wait. How am I supposed to know that you aren't just telling me the truth to pass it off as a lie? Hell, how am I supposed to ever believe anything you ever say to me, now?" Garrus asked.

Shepard smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"Well, Vakarian," she drawled, "I suppose you'll just have to learn to trust me. Now, I should go."

Shepard walked away and just as she was about to step on to the elevator she heard Garrus call after her.

"You're evil, woman. Pure evil!" he said.

She stepped into the elevator and pushed the button, as the door was closing she winked at him. Shepard spent the next several hours in her cabin filling out reports and doing research on the turians and their role in the Krogan Rebellions. She sincerely hoped that Wrex wasn't going to prove to be hostile towards Garrus. Wrex was understandably carrying around a lot of bad feelings about the genophage and it was the turians that released the biological weapon. Granted, as Wrex said, the salarians created it but that hardly negated the turians actions.

Joker let Shepard know that they had arrived at the Hades Gamma cluster. Shepard went back to the CIC and began scanning the systems. She found signs of the survey team on Trebin, in the Antaeus system. Shepard took Liara and Wrex down with her to investigate. She wanted to see how Lira handled herself on the field before she took her into a serious battle. Even if Liara was as supportive of Shepard as she seemed to be, there was no guarantees that things wouldn't change if Liara had to face off against her mother.

On the surface they ran across a thresher maw and some scavengers at a crash site but nothing major. No sign of geth activity, no sign of Saren. Shepard found an area littered with crashed satellites, nearby was a device transmitting a tightbeam signal that must have interfered with the survey teams satellites' GPS systems, causing them to crash. She disabled the device before heading to the research base. They found that the research base was abandoned. There weren't any bodies, no signs that anyone had been there for a while. Research logs found in one of the shelters indicated that the team had found some sort of alien technology; the reports were vague though, providing no real information on what it was the team found. Maps marked the excavation site, and it wasn't far from the camp.

The team piled back into the Mako and went to the excavation site. The exterior set up was similar to the place they found Liara, but on a smaller scale. Shepard headed up the ramp and into the dig site. They made their way through the tunnel and cave systems until they came to a room filled with the same husk creatures that the geth had turned people into back on Eden Prime. The husks swarmed the area, coming straight for Shepard and her team like nothing more than rabid animals.

When all the husks were dead, Liara spoke up, "I have heard of this before. Whatever alien technology the survey team unearthed must have turned them into mindless fanatics. Machine cultists."

"Whatever they found, it's long gone now," Wrex said.

"We need to sweep the area and see if we can find anything. This is the same thing I saw on Eden Prime. The geth were putting humans on these spikes and the spikes were somehow transforming them into these husks. There might be something here than can tell us more about what the geth were doing to those people," Shepard said.

"Maybe this is where the geth got the tech in the first place," Wrex said.

"Could be, come on," Shepard said.

As they neared the back of the room, two doors opened and more husks swarmed out. Liara's Singularity proved to be the most useful tactic to use against the husks. They were clustered together and had no comprehension of what the floating biotic sphere meant and so made no efforts to avoid being pulled up into the field.

When the last one fell, Shepard said, "That's all of them. All of the ExoGeni surveyors that were supposed to be here. They're all accounted for."

In the backrooms, they found spikes similar to what the geth had used on Eden Prime. Shepard scanned one of them with her omni-tool and sent the readings to Anderson. She hoped he could get an Alliance team working on analyzing the data. There had been a strange glowing orb in the first room where they encountered the husks as well. She stopped to try to scan the orb on the way back out but whatever it was caused her omni-tool to go on the fritz. The best she could do was to include a description of it and send the coordinates for it in the report to Anderson and the Council.

Back on the Normandy she set the coordinates for the Farinata system and then went down to Engineering to talk to Tali. She found the quarian quietly working at a terminal. Shepard stood next to Tali before leaning against the control station, looking over her shoulder to make sure she wasn't accidentally pushing any buttons with her hip. Tali stopped her work and turned to Shepard.

"Oh. Hello, Shepard," Tali sounded down.

"Are you okay?" Shepard asked, she liked talking to Tali she was usually so animated and expressive that it made it easy to know what the quarian was feeling without being able to see her facial gestures.

"I don't know. Your ship is amazing, and your crew's been really great to me. Especially your chief engineer. But I just sort of feel… out of place. The Normandy runs so smooth it feels like we're not even moving. And the engines are so quiet. How do you sleep at night?" Tali said.

"The silence wakes you up?" Shepard asked finding the idea odd.

"Back on the flotilla, the last thing you want to hear is silence. It means an engine's died or an air filter's shut down. I guess you don't have to worry about that here, but old habits die hard. But it's more than just the silence. This ship feels so empty; it's like half the crew is missing. Back home, I couldn't wait to go on my Pilgrimage. I couldn't wait to get away from the crowds. Now that I'm out here, I kind of miss them," Tali said.

"Sometimes we don't appreciate what we have until it's gone," Shepard said.

"That's true. I'm starting to wonder if that's what the Pilgrimage is really about. It's given me a whole new perspective on my people and our culture. You know, there's always a few who go on their Pilgrimages and never return. I always assumed something bad happened to them, but maybe they just wanted a different life," Tali said.

"You do plan to return to the Migrant Fleet, right?" Shepard asked.

"I could never abandon my people, Shepard. I will go back eventually. But we have to stop Saren first. Otherwise, I might not have a home to go back to," Tali said.

Shepard nodded in understanding. She wondered if she could get a recording of the engines from the flotilla or something to help Tali sleep. Maybe even just a noise machine from the Citadel, if they had them. She use to have one in her room when she was a kid that she could choose different sounds from. There was a recording of ocean waves, sounds of traffic, thunderstorms, and even crickets. Shepard always liked to listen to the thunderstorms as she fell asleep at night. _Always did love a good storm. She'll be okay, though. She'll adjust. Tali'Zorah vas Normandy is made of stronger stuff than she thinks._

"I should go," Shepard said.

"See you later," Tali said.

Shepard made her way back to her cabin; she had more reports to write and to send off. She really hated reports, but she knew why they were necessary. She included the data she retrieved from the spikes and the description of the orb they had found in her report, as well as an explanation of how the spikes somehow changed the ExoGeni team into the husks. She made sure to express the similarities between the ExoGeni team and what happened on Eden Prime. She knew Anderson would note the connection right away, but he was there, he had seen some of what took place. The Council, on the other hand, she expected would find some way to deny the connection if they didn't just outright deny the existence of the husks. She wondered if they would always doubt everything she said, and if so, what was the point of making her Spectre. _They will doubt it until the reapers invade in force, and then they will expect you to figure out a way to fight off the reapers while they refuse to help until they have no other option._ To the report she was sending to the Council she added a note about the matriarch writings, turian insignias, and salarian ID tags.

She carefully boxed up the artifacts and left her cabin. Kaidan saw her headed towards the med bay with her hands full and offered to take the box for her.

"I've got it, but I wouldn't mind it if you got that door for me," Shepard said.

"Of course, Commander," he said rushing ahead of her to open the med bay door.

"Thanks, Kaidan," she said stepping into the room.

"Anytime, Shepard," Kaidan said as he lingered around.

Shepard raised an eyebrow, "Oh, uh, you could get the door to Liara's office for me to I guess."

"Yes, ma'am," Kaidan said as he jogged across the med bay to open Liara's door.

"Kaidan. Is there something…" Shepard heard Liara's voice from the other room.

"Oh, no, sorry. I didn't mean to just barge in on you. Sorry. Uh, Shepard's coming. She's got a box and uh… I was just getting the door for her," Kaidan said.

"I see, well, that is kind of you," Liara said.

Shepard caught the faint blush on Kaidan's cheeks as she passed him to enter the room.

"Thanks, Kaidan," Shepard said.

Kaidan nodded and continued to stand there until the two women turned to look at him expectantly.

"Oh, uh, sorry. I'll leave you two to talk," Kaidan said leaving the room and letting the door close behind him.

"So not smooth," Shepard mumbled to herself with a chuckle.

Liara stood by her desk watching Shepard as she set the box down carefully. Her curiosity and excitement making her youth seem evident. It was like watching a child be handed a present on their birthday. Shepard couldn't help but to smile at the asari.

"I have a task for you, if you don't mind," Shepard began.

She could tell Liara was straining to see into the box without being obvious, "Yes, Shepard, I will help in any way that I can."

"Excellent. While on the field, I've found a few artifacts. They'll need to be taken to the Council, but I would like for you to create detailed reports on them for our own records. I'd like them to be scanned so that we have images to reference, as well as written descriptions of the items and any information you can find on them should be attached to the reports," Shepard said waving Liara over.

Liara wasted no time closing the space between herself and the box. Peering down inside she let out an excited gasp.

"Shepard, these are excellent finds! They are not prothean, so I'm sure my knowledge on them will be limited. I will do some research. May I?" Liara asked.

"By all means, I leave them in your capable hands Dr. T'soni. You are the archeologist after all," Shepard said.

Liara reached into the box and very carefully lifted out a turian insignia before laying it out flat on a cleared table space.

"I believe this is from one of the turian colonies lost during the Unification World. I do not know much about those colonies so I will have to do some research to find out which colony. Where did you find this?" Liara asked.

Shepard handed Liara a datapad, "A brief description, cluster, system, and planet name as well as coordinates is listed here for each item."

Liara took the datapad and skimmed it briefly, "Oh, I see you have found several as well as some ID tags from salarian corpses… and Shepard, am I understanding the correctly? By the Goddess, you have also located writings from an asari matriarch?"

"Correct," Shepard said.

"Oh, this is very exciting. I will get started cataloging all of these right away. Have you showed these insignias to Garrus?" Liara asked.

"No, I guess it didn't occur to me. You think he'd want to see them?" Shepard asked.

"How could he not? This is the history of his people! I will call him and ask him if he would like to come to my office to see them. I do not want to move them too much," Liara shuddered slightly, "I cannot imagine that the cargo bay would be the best atmosphere for artifacts either."

Shepard suppressed a laugh, "I should go. I'll leave you to it, Liara. Thanks."

The other woman was already opening her omni-tool to call Garrus as Shepard left the office. Kaidan was still in the med bay talking to Dr. Chakwas. He was turned to where he could see Liara's office door though, and it was more than obvious that he had stuck around to wait for Shepard to come back out. Dr. Chakwas had a knowing grin on her face as she watched Kaidan's attention slide to the Commander.

"Thanks, Dr. Chakwas. I'll uh, I'll keep that in mind," Kaidan said to the older woman.

"Of course, Lieutenant. And don't forget, in a pinch, caffeine can sometimes help with migraines," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard walked past the doctor and Kaidan and out of the med bay door. She'd taken four steps when Kaidan was at her side. Shepard glanced over at him.

"Kaidan, is there something you need?" Shepard asked.

"I just thought I'd see how you were doing. I mean, after dealing with the slavers… I just thought, you know considering your past…" Kaidan trailed off.

Damn it if this man hasn't got a heart of gold, Shepard thought. She stopped walking and turned to look at Kaidan. He waited patiently, watching her as she quietly studied his face. He had a squared jawline, but otherwise soft features. His short hair was nearly as dark as hers. His eyes were a light, soulful brown. He was clean shaven but she could see the fine traces of stubble, mapping out where his beard would be if he grew one. Would it really be so bad to let this man love her; to let herself love him in return? _Are you really doing this? I know you think that you might crush him, but the fact is he's going to crush you if you do this. Hell, he'll crush you even if you don't, if he lives through Virmire, but at least it won't hurt quite so bad when those soft eyes look at you with contempt and utter disgust._

"I'm fine, Kaidan. Thank you for asking, though," Shepard said.

"Sure, Commander. But if you ever decide, you know, that you want to talk about it or anything really, you know where to find me," Kaidan said before leaving her to return to his station.

Shepard went back to her cabin and started researching the asari. A couple of hours later and Joker was notifying her that they were approaching the Farinata system. Shepard saved the files she was working with and left her cabin to head up to the CIC. Once in the Farinata system, finding the MSV Ontario was relatively easy. The Farinata was a small system, home to only three planets and two asteroid belts.

The report said that they would be dealing with fanatical biotics, so Shepard thought it best to bring Liara and Kaidan along with her for this run. They docked the Normandy with the MSV Ontario and boarded the vessel. Shepard made her way through the ship to where her scanners were telling her she would find people. She had her weapon ready but would give them the 'fire on sight' test before she started shooting herself. This was a hostage situation, and she did not know the nature of the demands being made, if any. As soon as the ship's crew saw Shepard and her team, they failed the test.

"Intruders! Kill the hostage!" someone yelled out an order.

Instantly Kaidan, Liara, and Shepard were fighting off wave after wave of biotic humans hell bent on destroying them. At least that's what they kept saying. They fought off the biotics and rushed through the ship, checking each room until they found the one with the hostage. Shepard opened the door and saw a man on his knees, his hands on top of his head. A man in military casual dress stood behind him with a gun to his head.

"See how it is? You write letters and everyone ignores you. Force is the only thing people appreciate. So how about if I kill Chairman Burns and finish this charade?" the man with the gun said.

"Please! I was trying to help you people!" the man on his knees begged.

The others in the room stood by complacent, watching as their obvious leader threatened to shoot the man in the back of the head.

Shepard held up a hand, "Let's not do anything we're all going to regret."

"Why not? What have we got to lose?" the gunman asked. "Since the chairman here decided that we didn't get reparations, we've got nothing left to live for!"

"But I've changed my mind! Seeing y-you all, it's c-clear that you all d-deserve…" Chairman Burns stammered.

"You had your chance! Some L2s are nearly crippled from side effects of the implants, but you voted against reparations!" the gunman said.

Shepard spared a glance over her shoulder at Kaidan; he had an L2 implant. It's what caused his migraines according to Dr. Chakwas. She saw Kaidan's face pinched tight with disapproval.

"I'm giving you a choice. Put down your weapons and surrender," Shepard said.

The gunman fired a shot into the back of the chairman's head and his body crumpled to the floor. _If you had saved him, he would have gotten the reparations pushed through. Now he's dead and you have to kill the rest. Nice work, Shepard._

"As if we'd trust the Alliance after what it did to us. Get them!" he yelled to his followers.

"Damn it!" Shepard cursed, taking aim at the leader and firing.

The fight didn't last long and Shepard was so glad she'd thought to bring her best biotics with her, though now she was concerned what affect this would have on Kaidan. She leaned down next to the chairman and felt for a pulse. With a point blank shot to the back of the head, she knew there was no real chance he'd still be alive but she had to check. Her fingers found nothing, and a scan with her omni-tool confirmed the man was dead.

"Damn it," Shepard said again.

They made their way back to the Mako as Shepard replayed the conversation in her head, wondering if there was anything that she could have done differently. Perhaps she shouldn't have tried to talk the man down, maybe she should have just shot him the second she walked in and saw his gun to the chairman's head. Could she have saved the chairman, then? She radioed Joker for a pick up.

Back on the Normandy, Shepard stowed her gear and then went to talk to Kaidan. She wasn't sure where to start or what to say, so she was relieved when he started talking first.

"Do you have some time to talk now, Commander," Kaidan asked when she approached him.

"Of course. Have a seat," Shepard said.

"We've played it pretty close to the book so far. But we're a long way from backup. We've got some tough calls to make. I'm just saying… try to leave yourself a way out. I've seen what cutting corners can do to someone. And I'd hate to have that happen to you, Shepard. Commander," Kaidan said.

"This a personal observation, Kaidan?" Shepard asked raising her eyebrows.

"Maybe that's not my place. I don't want to send any bad signals, Commander. Just, uh, working on what I've picked up," Kaidan said. "You tell me if I'm going too far."

"I'm listening. Tell me why you feel the need to speak up," Shepard said.

"I'm not questioning any decision you've made, Shepard. Let me be clear about that. It's just my experience that once someone lets something slide; it tends to pick up speed. You get my meaning?" Kaidan asked.

Shepard wasn't clear on what the hell the lieutenant was talking about, what had she let slide? Was this about the biotics? She had tried to talk the man down, she didn't let anything slide.

"You're talking about a particular example, aren't you?" Shepard asked starting to feel her ire rise.

"You know the records about the biotic training on Jump Zero? They're all classified. Because the Alliance made mistakes. After first contact, Conatix was set up to track element zero exposures and develop implants for humans. Once we had an embassy on the Citadel, Conatix could bring in 'experts' instead of taking it slow," Kaidan said.

"The only experts would have to be aliens," Shepard said.

"Dead on. Turians, actually. That's why Conatix kept it a secret. They were afraid of what people back home would think. Asking the turians for help when we'd just fought a war with them," Kaidan said.

"The asari would have been more acceptable than the turians," Shepard said.

Especially seeing as the asari were all naturally inclined towards biotics and it was far less common with turians. Turians tended to be less powerful biotics as well. Shepard's research had also informed her that to be a biotic turian was to be frowned upon in their culture. Turian biotics tended to be placed into special units in the military, called Cabals and only used for specific missions.

"Yes, but the company didn't go through the Citadel. It would have made Earth look weak. So they discreetly hired some turian mercenaries," Kaidan said.

"Was there some reason we couldn't learn it on our own?" Shepard asked.

"They didn't know where to start. Hell, it took a couple years to even link biotics and eezo. Forget trying to get the kids to move stuff. They had trouble just helping them not break their own limbs. And their choice of teachers didn't help much," Kaidan said.

"I'm sure Conatix did what they thought was best," Shepard offered.

"It wasn't best for us. They brought in an ex-military turian named Commander Vyrnnus. To introduce himself, he liked to say, 'I was at the helm of the dreadnaught that killed your father'. I told him my dad wasn't even in the war. He retired to Vancouver. My family had an inland home that matured to new beachfront. Vyrnnus had it in for me after that. He cut corners, pushed hard. I mean, you either came out a superman or a wreck. And a lot of kids snapped. A few died. The point of all this – I guess – is that when you cut corners, it's not always obvious who pays for it," Kaidan said.

"So why are you telling me this? Are you saying I'm cutting corners somewhere?" Shepard asked, raising her shoulders defensively.

She didn't like where Kaidan was going with this. She felt insulted and she didn't even know why he we seemed to be questioning her integrity.

"I'm saying – it's probably inevitable that we'll have to. And when that happens, I want to help you. When someone important to you is up on a ledge, you help them. Keep them from mistakes better made by a kid," Kaidan said.

Mistakes better made by a kid. Shepard clenched her jaw.

"So you think you have leave to talk like we're more than officers?" Shepard asked.

"I got some signals. Maybe some static too, I guess. If I'm out of line, just say the word," Kaidan said with hesitation.

"Sorry, Kaidan. This was just a battlefield thing," Shepard said shutting the man down far more callously than she had intended.

"There's my answer, then. I'm sorry to have bothered you, Commander. I got some mixed signals. With your permission, I should return to my duties," Kaidan said the hurt evident in his voice and eyes.

Shepard turned to walk away but then stopped. She stood there for a moment, a few feet away from Kaidan with her back to the man. She tilted her head back and sighed towards the ceiling before turning back around.

"Kaidan, look. I'm sorry, I didn't need to be that harsh," Shepard started to explain.

Kaidan was looking down at the table in front of him, moving things around on his work table. He wasn't going to look at her. Shepard a step towards the man and tried again.

"Tell me to fuck off and I'll leave you alone, but Kaidan I want you to know that I think you're a great guy. Really, I do," Shepard said.

"You can save the 'it's not you, it's me' speech, Commander. I've heard it before," Kaidan said softly.

"Well that wasn't a 'fuck off' so I'm going to take that as an opening to talk," Shepard said as she went to stand next to Kaidan.

She turned so that she was facing the opposite direction of him and leaned back against his table with her arms crossed. Kaidan glanced at her briefly before looking down at his table again. Shepard was quiet for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts.

"You aren't the type I guy I normally go for, that is true. I won't lie to you about that. Does that mean I don't find you attractive? No, not at all. Does that mean that I don't like your personality? No, even if there are things about you that clash with my own personality. I think that if we were to pursue a relationship that there is a decent chance it could work out. I can tell that you are a very passionate person, you're optimistic; you're generous, and level-headed. You're intelligent, compassionate – like I said a great guy. I also have absolutely no doubt that you and I will fail to see eye to eye on many things, and although that might cause some turbulence, I think that we're both accepting enough of the faults of others to be able to work past that. The problem is, as clichéd as it might sound, is that I think eventually one of us would have to sacrifice who we are to make it work out," Shepard said looking at the wall but watching Kaidan out of her peripheral.

He remained quiet so she continued, "That's not something I want for myself. It's not something I want for you. That's ignoring the regulations that say we shouldn't because you're a subordinate. Sure, there's work-arounds to that, I know. But there's still more to it than even all of this…," She trailed off.

She turned her head to look at Kaidan; she wanted to know that he was listening to her. She could tell by the furrow in his brow, and the way he was gripping the edge of the table like it was a life raft that he was. He was staying quiet and letting her speak her peace, not because he needed to hear it, but because she needed to say it. _This is hurting him. Maybe even worse than if you had just walked away._

"I've been through a lot, Kaidan. I've seen a lot of ugly things in my life and I've had to do a lot of ugly things. I strive to be a better person, but there is ugliness inside of me still. There always will be, and a part of how that has seemed to manifest for me is that I don't do this type of close relationship well. I've got no interest in commitment; no desire to get married and have children, no desire to retire on beach somewhere and watch my grandkids playing in the sand. I have no desire to wake up next to the same person every morning, Kaidan. I'm guessing that's the kind of life you want and that's not the kind of life I can give you. What I can give you, Kaidan, is comradery and if you'll let me, friendship," Shepard finally stopped talking.

It had been a long time since she had shared that much of herself with anyone. She watched as Kaidan took in her words. She could almost see the gears turning in his head as he processed things, as he put it before. He shook his head slightly and sighed.

"Alright. Damn it, Shepard. So what, just one of the guys, eh?" Kaidan asked looking up at her.

Shepard smiled, "Just one of the guys. But better, you know, because I'm a woman."

A grin spread across Kaidan's face and he chuckled, "That you are, Shepard. That you are."

"So are we good?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, Shepard. We're good," Kaidan said nodding.

Shepard patted him on the back as she pushed away from his table, "Good, back to work then, lieutenant."

"Yes ma'am," Kaidan said.

On the stairs heading up to the CIC, Shepard blew out a deep breath, sending stray bits of hair flying about. She raked her hand through her hair, pushing it back out of her face. _That worked out well; good._ Back at the galaxy map, Shepard was about to set course for the Horsehead Nebula when Joker told her a message was coming in and he was patching it through.

"Thank you for dealing with the hostage situation, Commander. Chairman Burns' death was regrettable but I trust you did everything you could to save him. Your assistance above and beyond formal duties has been noted, Commander. Fifth Fleet out," the transmission said.

Shepard punched in the destination before stepping away from the galaxy map. It had been a long day and she needed her bed right now. It would take time to get back to a mass relay and then to the Horsehead Nebula. She probably had a few more hours in her if she needed them, but she didn't and damn it if she wasn't the boss on this ship. Shepard hit the showers and collapsed onto her bed twenty minutes later.


	11. Chapter 10: Long Live The Queen

**Chapter 10: Long Live The Queen**

Once in the Horsehead Nebula, Shepard used the galaxy map to direct Joker to the Strenuus system. That was where that man in the Citadel Tower said his brother's ship was last reported to be. The morning had been quiet, so far. If Shepard had had any more of those unusual dreams, she didn't remember them at all when she woke up. Still, the dreams that she had been having were unnerving. She could never hold on to them for more than a few seconds after waking but in those seconds she was struck by how foreign yet oh so familiar they had seemed.

Shepard scanned the Strenuus system and found the MSV Majesty not far from the planet Xawin. The Normandy detected a faint trail of radioactive particles – possibly exhaust from a sub-light nuclear engine drive – leading toward Xawin. The ship itself was empty. She gave the order to go to Xawin and for Garrus and Ashley to suit up.

Xawin was a cold, frozen planet but that didn't seem to stop the damned thresher maws from surviving. They moved through the frozen surface just as quickly as anywhere else. Why did probes crash so often right next to a damn thresher maw's hunting ground? They checked out a nearby camp but found it abandoned. The generator was still functional, and Shepard found notes on several mineral deposit locations.

They made their way to an anomalous signal only to find that it was a geth trap. As soon as they got close to the beacon, four geth armatures rose up out of the snow. The way they were set up made it difficult to find cover. Still, with some fast maneuvering they were able to take the armatures down with minimal damage to the Mako. While Garrus patched the Mako with omni-gel, Shepard looked over the area. She could find no reason for the geth presence. There was nothing in this area other than that damned beacon. She couldn't see any reason for the ambush in this location and it was sitting with her wrong. Saren really didn't think it would be so easy to take Shepard out, did he? Not when she had already cut her way through every other geth he'd dropped in her path. How could he even know that she would come to Xawin? This seemed like a pointless waste of resources to her. _Sorry, can't help you. You'll run across a lot more that doesn't make a damn bit of sense, too._

Shepard got back in the Mako and drove to the last location on the scanner. It was a mercenary camp protected by four turrets and snipers. Once the threats outside were taken care of, Shepard pulled the Mako around the building and parked it next to the front door. Inside, it was set up much the same as the other prefab's she had been in with a small entryway just inside the main door that led to a larger room. This left her little option other than to take cover by the entryway to the main room until she could fight her way in. Past that choke point, the fight was already won.

Shepard found a couple of lockers with weapons and mods. She felt no guilt taking them for her own crew's use. The back room was empty, just cots and mostly empty lockers. Upstairs, she found the body of Captain Willem, he had been dead awhile. Rigor mortis had long sense set in and the smell couldn't be disguised. Why in the world would they have left his body up here to rot was beyond her, especially when the low temperatures outside would have preserved the corpse and kept the smell at bay. He seemed to be holding something in his hand so Shepard knelt down next to him, doing her best not to gag over the smell and pried a datapad from his fingers. She didn't bother to look at it; it wasn't any of her business. She'd take it back to his brother on the Citadel after they went to Noveria.

Shepard got her crew back to the Mako and called for a pickup. Back on the Normandy, she headed straight to the galaxy map and inputted the coordinates for the Pax system. She was just about to turn away from the map when Joker's voice came through on the comm.

"Commander, urgent message from Alliance Command coming in. I'll patch it through," Joker said.

"Shepard, this is Admiral Hackett from Alliance Command. We've got a situation here and you're the only one who can handle it," Hackett said.

"What do you need, Admiral?" Shepard asked recognizing the man's voice; he'd sent her on missions before for the Fifth Fleet.

"There's an Alliance training ground where we test weapons and technology in live-fire simulations. One of the VI's we use to simulate enemy tactics in the drills is no longer responding to our override commands. it's gone rogue," Hackett said.

 _EDI…_

"Are you telling me this computer is thinking on its own?" Shepard asked.

"We're not stupid, Shepard. This is a virtual intelligence, not a true AI. It's not self-aware, and it can't access any external systems. We didn't do anything illegal here. Virtual intelligence support is critical to our military success. VIs process thousands of status reports and react in nanoseconds. No human can do that," Hackett explained. "We need you to fight your way through the training ground to the VI core, and manually disable it."

"Don't worry, Admiral. I'll take that thing out," Shepard promised.

"I know Spectres answer to the Council, but you're still human. You're still a part of the Alliance military, and right now we need you. The VI controls all of the facility's weapons, drones, and automated defenses. You're the only one who can pull this off, Shepard. Good luck," Hackett said ending the call.

Shepard felt mildly annoyed at the admiral's obvious attempts to manipulate her. She knew she was human. And she'd stay a part of the Alliance so long as they kept her. She also knew that as a Spectre, she couldn't make a habit of playing favorites. Especially with non-Alliance personnel onboard. She would take down this VI not because she was human, and not because she was Alliance, but because it needed done. Period. Shepard left the CIC and made her way to her cabin.

She'd been finishing up a report when there was a faint knock at her door. It was so quiet that at first she wasn't sure if she had heard it or not. Shepard got up from her desk and opened her door just in time to see Liara turning away. She was holding the box Shepard had taken to her with the artifacts.

"Liara? Did you need something?" Shepard asked.

Liara turned and Shepard could swear the asari looked embarrassed. She seemed to struggle with an internal debate before smiling and taking a step towards Shepard, extending the box out from her body a hair.

"Oh, Commander. I am sorry to have bothered you. I just wanted to ask what you would like done with these artifacts. I have finished scanning them and do not need them to be present while I finish my research. I mean, of course I would be honored to safeguard them until we reach the Citadel but I did not know if-," Liara rambled

"Come on in, Liara. You can tell me what you've found so far," Shepard said cutting Liara off and stepping aside to make room.

Liara smiled warmly and walked past Shepard, "Thank you, Commander."

Liara stopped just inside the door and looked around the room. Shepard motioned for Liara to have a seat at the desk nearest to the door before fetching the chair from the desk near her bed to join her. Liara only sat once Shepard did, gently sliding the box onto the table in front of them.

"So, what did you find?" Shepard asked.

Liara didn't need any more encouragement than that before she launched into an explanation of the salarian ID tags that Shepard had recovered. She gently removed one of the medallions from the box to show to Shepard as she spoke of its history.

"The medallions you recovered were not simply from salarian STG units. No, these are far older. These medallions came from a special, secret organization the salarians had called the League of One. They were a group of secret operatives specializing in assassination and espionage. Their identities were kept secret until after the salarians discovered the Citadel and my people. As a sign of good faith, the salarians released their classified documents and in so doing revealed the identities of the League of One," Liar lectured.

Shepard looked over the medallion quietly while Liara spoke, turning it around and around in her hand. It was old, worn, and faded but she could make out the image of a salarian standing in relief against the background of buildings towering in the sky. There had been words on the medallion at some point, but they had all but worn away. There wasn't enough there for her to make anything out. She handed the coin back to Liara who carefully settled it back in the box.

"What happened to them?" Shepard asked leaning back in her chair.

"It is impossible to say with certainty, but soon after the release of the documents, the League of One stopped reporting in to the Salarian Union. It was believed that with their names revealed, enemies of the salarians began hunting down the members of the League; whether as acts of revenge of for other unknown political reasons. Others theorized that the League of One had gone into hiding to protect their own identities. Within a few months, however, the inner cabinet of the Salarian Union was found murdered. Those remaining came to realize that the League of One had gone rogue; likely in protest to the dangers the Salarian Union had placed them in by releasing their names to the public. The salarians sent members of the Special Tasks Group to find the missing League of One members but most of those who were sent out never returned themselves. Only two members of the second task force sent returned and claimed to have found no evidence of the League of One. It was believed that the League had been… neutralized," Liara finished.

Shepard watched as the woman spoke animatedly about the history of the League. She could tell that Liara was passionate about her work, but she realized that Liara didn't seem to talk about herself much. In the quiet pause, Shepard spoke up changing the subject. She could learn about the turian insignias and matriarch's writings later.

"Tell me about yourself, Liara," Shepard said.

"Me? I am afraid I am not very interesting, Commander," Liara said looking down at the floor seemingly embarrassed by the request. "I spend most of my time on remote digs; unearthing mundane items buried in long-forgotten prothean ruins."

"You must enjoy something about it," Shepard said.

"I love my work. Seeking out history's lost secrets has a special appeal for me. You were actually touched by working prothean technology! That is why I find you so fascinating, Commander," Liara said.

"Sounds like you want to dissect me in a lab somewhere," Shepard said.

"What? No! I did not mean to insinuate – Ah, I never meant to offend you, Shepard. I only meant that you would be an interesting specimen for an in-depth study. No – that's even worse!" Liara said clearly flustered.

Shepard chuckled, "Calm down, Liara. I was only joking."

"Joking? Oh, by the Goddess! How could I be so dense?" Liara held a hand up to her forehead as she berated herself. "You must think I am a complete and utter fool. Now you know why I prefer to spend my time in the field with data disks and computers. I always seem to say something embarrassing around other people. Please… just pretend this conversation never happened."

Liara stood suddenly, "Excuse me, Commander. I should really get back to work. Is there some place you would like for me to put these?"

"Keep them with you, Liara. I trust you'll keep them safe," Shepard said standing as well.

She walked Liara to the door, noting the way the other woman held the box close to her own body protectively. On her way out the door, Shepard stopped Liara with a hand on her shoulder.

"And Liara?" Shepard said.

"Yes, Commander?" Liara asked.

"Try to relax, you're doing fine," Shepard said with a smile.

Liara smiled and dipped her head, "I will try, thank you."

 _She already likes you._

She watched as Liara made her way across the mess hall and back into the med bay to her own office. She glanced up and saw Kaidan watching her watch Liara, but he looked back down at his own table when she turned his way. Shepard frowned but went back inside her cabin to fill out more reports.

Shepard had gotten the call from Joker letting her know they were arriving at Noveria. She headed up to the cockpit to watch the descent.

"Approach Control, this is the SSV Normandy. Requesting a vector and a berth," Joker hailed the Noveria station.

"Normandy, you're arrival was not scheduled. Our defense grid is armed and tracking you. State your business," a masculine voice responded.

"Citadel business. We've got a Council Spectre aboard," Joker said into the comm leaning forward.

Shepard stood behind him, watching as her pilot tensed up.

"Landing access granted, Normandy. Be advised: we will be confirming identification on arrival. If confirmation cannot be established, your vessel will be impounded," the voice said.

"What a fun bunch. I think I'll take my next leave here," Joker smirked looking back over his shoulder at Shepard.

She couldn't hide the half smile that crept on her face in response. The smartass was growing on her. Shepard asked Joker to have Garrus and Liara suit up before leaving the cockpit. _Good, you're not taking Wrex. He complicates things with the rachni queen. And you're bringing Liara, it's the best. Rough on her, but you can put all your doubts aside._ She went to put on her armor and get her weapons ready before meeting her team at the airlock. Noveria was just as cold as Xawin, but the docks provided some cover from the freezing elements. Shepard left the ship and turned towards the building to her right. She frowned when she saw that there was a 'welcoming committee' waiting for her team down off the dock platform. She squared her shoulders and held her head high as she went to meet the turian man and two human women who were armed and waiting. At least they weren't stupid enough to point those weapons at her or her team. _Yet._

One of the women held up a hand to halt Shepard. She was shorter than the other human and had black hair twisted up into a bun. The other woman was far taller with blond hair cut to chin length. The male turian seemed to stay behind and to the side of the women, most likely there for support.

"That's far enough," the woman with the bun said.

"Something wrong, officer?" Shepard asked coming to a stop a few feet away.

The blond woman who seemed to have a permanent scowl said, "You better hope there isn't."

The brunette gave her a chastising look before turning her attention back to Shepard, "This is an unscheduled arrival, I need your credentials."

Shepard bristled, "You first."

"We're the law here. Show some respect," the blond said.

"I'm Captain Maeko Matsuo, Elanus Risk Control Services," the much more sensible brunette with the bun said.

Shepard decided she was the one to deal with, the other woman ceased to exist in that moment for Shepard. The turian hadn't moved or spoken yet at all, so she disregarded him for the time being as well.

"I'm a Spectre. My name is Shepard," Shepard said simply.

"Load of horse crap, ma'am," the blond woman said to Captain Matsuo.

Matsuo gave the woman another look before saying, "We will need to confirm that. Also, I must advise you that firearms are not permitted on Noveria. Sergeant Stirling, secure their weapons."

The blond began to step forward. A shame, Shepard thought, I was starting to like you Captain Matsuo. Shepard pulled her pistol and pointed it at the woman, Sergeant Stirling, as she approached. Shepard could hear Garrus aiming his assault rifle, and she could feel the disturbance of Liara's biotics behind her. Sergeant Stirling stepped back and raised her weapon; the turian on the other side of Captain Matsuo did the same. Captain Matsuo, however, remained poised. Huh, maybe I do still like you, Shepard thought.

"Citadel authority supersedes yours," Garrus said behind Shepard.

"Nobody takes my weapon," Shepard said in a tone that made it clear this topic was nonnegotiable.

"Charge and lock!" Stirling gave the order.

Matsuo placed her hands behind her back, "We are authorized to use lethal force. You have to the count of three to surrender your weapons. One. Two. Thr-,"

Matsuo was cut off by a voice over the comm system right as she began to speak the word 'three', "Captain Matsuo! Stand down."

Matsuo looked at the ground a moment before relaxing her arms to the side. The other two officers remained with their guns drawn on her team, so Shepard only lowered her weapon but kept it drawn.

"We confirmed their identity. Spectres are authorized to carry weapons here, Captain," the woman's voice on the comm said.

Stirling and the turian stood up straight and lowered their weapon. Shepard nodded to her group, and they put their weapons away.

"You may proceed, Spectre. I hope the rest of your visit will be less confrontational," Matsuo said. "Parasini-san will meet you upstairs."

"Behave yourself," Stirling said.

Shepard smirked at the woman's audacity. The three officers moved apart. Stirling moving to watch out over the docks while Matsuo and the unidentified turian moved to guard the door. Shepard moved past the two guards and the drone that was flying about scanning them to enter the building. She made her way up the stairs to where she could see a security area ahead. A human woman wearing a long pink dress greeted her at the desk.

"I am Gianna Parasini, assistant to Administrator Anoleis. We apologize for the incident in the docking bay," Parasini said.

"I appreciate your help," Shepard nodded at the woman.

Parasini returned the nod, "You're welcome. You understand our security chief was only doing her job. One of my duties is orientation of new arrivals. Do you have any questions?"

"Has anyone unusual passed through here recently?" Shepard asked.

"Unusual? An asari Matriarch passed through a few days ago. Lady Benezia," Parasini said.

"Benezia? She is here?" Liara asked Parasini.

Shepard watched Liara closely. Now was the time to see how the asari would react to her mother's presence. Shepard really hoped she wasn't wrong for trusting her. So far, all Liara seemed to be displaying was concern.

"Can I speak with her?" Shepard asked turning back to Parasini.

"Benezia left for the Peak 15 research complex days ago," Parasini shrugged. "To the best of my knowledge, she's still there."

"Could you tell me how to get there?" Shepard asked.

"You'll need to ask Administrator Anoleis for clearance to leave this port," Parasini said, hesitation evident in her voice.

"Where can I find the administrator?" Shepard asked.

"His office is on the main level. Left at the top of the elevator," Parasini said with a relieved smile.

Parasini turned and walked away. Liara turned to face Shepard, the concern dripping off her voice like hot honey.

"She is here. I can't believe it," Liara said. "I imagine you want to talk to me, Shepard. About my mother."

"No, I don't. I trust you, Liara. You may not be military, but you're part of my crew," Shepard said to ease the woman's fears.

"Thank you, Shepard. That means a great deal to me," Liara said.

Shepard turned towards the stairs that would take them into the main building. She caught sight of Garrus watching her, head slightly cocked to the side. She figured he had caught her hesitation but thankfully wasn't going to call her on it; maybe he understood her intent. Garrus gave Shepard a slight nod and she relaxed. She knew that he would keep an eye on Liara as well. As much as Shepard felt that Liara had the best intentions, going up against her mother like this… there was no way to know for sure how the asari would respond. That's why she brought Garrus, he had sharp eyes and wouldn't hesitate to do what needed to be done while staying cool under the pressure. Shepard hadn't thought that Benezia would still be here, but it gave her some hope that this whole fiasco with Saren might come to an end easier than she had ever expected. _Not even remotely. Not unless you get your ass to Ilos before they do and shut down the Conduit. That isn't going to stop the reapers, though. All we've ever done is slow down their arrival, but they always come through and we always die in the crucible. And we always come back. I'm so fucking tired of coming back. But it will keep happening anyway because: You. Won't. LISTEN!_ Shepard winced as a sharp pain shot through her head back behind. _Ah, but you can feel that, can't you?_

They took the stairs down to an elevator; the elevator taking them back up before opening up into the main building. Shepard saw a human and a salarians talking. When she got near to them, the woman told Shepard that the managers had warned them about her. Shepard gritted her teeth. If everyone on Port Hanshan had been warned away from talking to Shepard and her crew this was going to make gathering intel next to impossible.

Shepard spotted a hanar in a shop and decided to see what they had for sell. She liked to connect to as many stores as she could, hopefully the hanar would have a license he could sell her so that she could pass it along to the requisitions officer on the Normandy. The hanar greeted her with the same 'this one' statements that all hanar used. It turns out news of her arrival on the port had spread as swiftly as she had feared. The hanar didn't seem to be concerned with talking to Shepard though, in fact, he boldly asked her to use her Spectre status to smuggle in a package for him from the docks. Shepard wasn't going to agree to anything so easily, though. She asked the hanar, Opold, for details on the package contents and recipient. Opold was hesitant to tell her the specifics but he did finally say that the package was for a krogan named Inamorda, a bounty hunter with a temper. Shepard agreed to retrieve the package for Opold. She'd look to see what was in it herself and then decide whether it was something she wanted the bounty hunter to have or not. Either way, the idea of using her status to bring in something forbidden, just to stick it to that bitch Stirling brought Shepard some satisfaction.

Shepard finished up her shopping with Opold before she went to fetch his package. She was sure that he'd probably offer a discount on top of whatever it was he was offering to pay her – he wasn't specific on that point either – but she wasn't sure yet what she was going to do with the package. She figured it was best to finish her shopping while they were still on good terms. Back out at the docks she found the package where Opold said it would be. The container held a weapon mod she had never seen before.

"Shepard, you are not really going to give that to the hanar to sell to a krogan bounty hunter, are you?" Liara asked sounding dismayed.

Shepard grinned, "Hell no. Besides, smuggling is illegal. Looks like I just got a new toy."

Garrus chuckled, his mandibles fluttering. The sound pulled at Shepard and she looked over at the turian, her grin widening.

"I see," Liara said. "Well, I am sure that the Council would agree with your decision."

Shepard didn't give a damn if the Council agreed or not, but she kept that to herself. They made their way back Opold and Shepard told him that she would be keeping it herself. The hanar became distraught, his bioluminescence flickered erratically as he tried to convince her to change her mind; telling her how upset Inamorda would be with him. Shepard didn't change her mind, though. She wasn't allowing what was probably experimental weapon tech to go to a krogan bounty hunter, at least not one that wasn't on her team. Opold said he wanted her to leave, he sounded pouty and Shepard actually felt a little bad for the hanar. She made a note to herself to keep her eyes open for Inamorda; she'd make sure that if the krogan wanted to start a fight it would be with her and not the hanar. _Oh, don't worry. He'll find you._

"Keep your eyes opened for a pissed off krogan," Shepard said to her team.

Garrus checked his ammo in response and Liara paled but nodded. She led them to where Parasini said they would find the administrator. Everyone she tried to talk to along the way brushed her off much the same as the human woman had done when they first entered. Anoleis' door had two turian guards stationed outside but they didn't give her any flak when she went inside. She went through an empty waiting room and found Parasini standing behind a desk. Shepard stopped to see what information she could get from the woman. Parasini filled Shepard in on the size and numbers of the research complexes built into the surrounding mountains. She listed off a few of the major stakeholders, but said that there over 250 business that rented facilities there. She said that each complex supported a staff of hundreds. That might make things more difficult, Shepard thought. That was a hell of a lot of civilians that might get in the way if things went bad. She really hated civilian casualties, but she knew that sometimes they were unavoidable and she would do what had to be done to get to Saren.

Parasini called Anoleis on the intercom to tell him that Shepard was there to see him. The brusque, rapid voice that responded was unmistakably salarian. Anoleis didn't sound pleased by the interruption, even if it was for a Council Spectre. Parasini indicated the administrator's office behind the partition and Shepard left her to her work.

"You'll excuse me if I don't stand up," the blue-gray salarians said from behind the desk when Shepard entered. "I have no time to entertain colonial rubes."

Shepard's hands twitched at the insult and she crossed her arms, "You have a problem with colonials?"

"No appreciation for economics. Protectionists and communists, all of them. This greeting is a courtesy. I will only cooperate as required by the Executive Board. Businesses come here to avoid the second guessing of galactic law," Anoleis said.

"And I represent 'the second guessing of galactic law.'" Shepard drawled.

"Just so we understand each other," Anoleis said holding up his hands. "I will not allow you to harass our clients. This world is private property."

Shepard knew she wouldn't get what she needed from the salarian if she gave in to the urge to use her biotics to toss him around the room like a ragdoll. Damn it did she want to toss him around the room like a ragdoll, though. She decided to let that line of conversation die and got to the point of her visit.

"I heard an asari Matriarch is here. Benezia?" Shepard said.

"She arrived a few days ago, accompanied by a personal escort and some cargo. She is up at Peak 15," Anoleis said.

Shepard tried to get more information from him on Benezia and her escort but he gave her more lip and little information. All she was able to learn was that Benezia's cargo was sealed and passed weapons screening. Her escort consisted mainly of asari commandos. Shepard didn't like the sound of that. Of course, she hadn't actually expected to find Benezia unprepared to defend herself. She'd likely have geth guards, too. Although she doubted that Benezia strolled through the compound with geth readily visible for everyone to panic over. _They were in the boxes._ Maybe that was what her cargo was.

When Shepard insisted on seeing Benezia, Anoleis told her Peak 15 was a private facility and that there was a blizzard in the area which had cut off surface access to the facility. Shepard wasn't sure she was buying that. She pressed the issue of surface access, thinking that it meant that there was another form of access that the salarian wasn't telling her about, but he wouldn't give. Garrus tried to soothe Shepard's growing frustration, telling her that they could find someone else there willing to help. Shepard wasn't ready to leave Anoleis just yet; she wanted to ask if Saren was with Benezia.

She was able to pull a few more answers from the petulant salarian before she let him go. Namely that Benezia was there acting as 'Agent Saren's executor' and that Saren was a major shareholder in Binary Helix. Binary Helix specialized in genetic engineering and biotechnology. That was definitely worth noting, though she wasn't quite sure how that played into his hunt for the Conduit. On the way out of Anoleis office, Parasini caught Shepard's attention.

"Mr. Anoleis isn't the only one with a pass to leave Hanshan," Parasini said. "You've never worked in the corporate world, have you Commander? You can't bludgeon through bureaucracy."

"I can bludgeon pretty hard," Shepard said still annoyed.

Parasini leaned in closer to whisper, "Talk to Lorik Qui'in. You should be able to find him at the hotel bar. Can't say more. Not within earshot of Mr. Anoleis."

Shepard nodded her head in gratitude and said goodbye to the woman before heading to the hotel bar. It took her a little while to find since every person she tried to ask for directions refused to help her. Eventually she found the elevator that led to the bar hidden behind another partition. There seemed to be a lot of those in this place. As soon as Shepard entered the bar she was flagged down by a dark blue asari in a yellow dress. Shepard cursed under her breath but stopped to see what the asari wanted.

She told Shepard that she represented the Aramali City Council on Thessia. She asked Shepard to carry a hacking device and go speak with a human representative of Binary Helix at the bar nearby to distract him while the device hacked into his files. She suspected Binary Helix of working with asari commandos to move in on the work that Aramali did with biotic amps and wanted Shepard's help to determine if Binary Helix was infringing on Aramali's copyrights. Shepard was getting really tired of people asking her to break the law for their own personal, trivial matters. Is this really how civilians saw Spectres? Shepard told the asari that it was her job to uphold the law, not break it. The asari tried to convince Shepard but when she realized she wasn't budging, she hastily left.

Parasini didn't give her a description of Lorik Qui'in.

She turned to Garrus, "Lorik Qui'in. That's a turian name, isn't it?"

"It is, and that gentleman sitting right over there is the only turian in the place. Well, besides for me, obviously," Garrus said nodding his head in the direction of the turian.

Shepard nodded and made her way over to the turian's table. He had a deep brown hue to his most of his plating and crest. The area around his nose and mouth was a lighter gray. His colony markings were white and covered a significant portion of his face. He wore black and blue business clothes – not armor just like most of the people she had seen on Noveria so far. A non-combatant.

"Afternoon," the turian sounded exceedingly chipper, "Sit down, have a drink. What can I do for you?"

Shepard shook her head, declining the invitation to sit and have a drink.

"Are you Lorik Qui'in? I've heard you might be able to help me," Shepard said.

"You are the Spectre that just arrived, are you not? What could an old turian like me possibly help you with?" Lorik Qui'in asked.

"I'm trying to find a way into the garage. I have places to go," Shepard explained.

"You need a pass. How fortuitous," Lorik said. "I'm the manager of the local Synthetics Insights office. For the moment, at least. Mr. Anoleis closed my office. He claims to be investigating reports of my corruption. The administrator is an interesting man. He has become quite wealthy since he took direct control of rents."

"I sense a connection there," Shepard said coyly.

"Indeed," Lorik said. "I acquired evidence of Anoleis' actions. His hired goons are ransacking my office to find it. I suspect your goal lies outside this port. Mr. Anoleis would be disinclined to let you wander. If you recover the evidence from my office, I will give you my garage pass, as well as a sum of credits."

"You have a plan?" Shepard asked.

"I do. However, there is one other – what is that charming human expression? 'Fly in the lotion'? Violence against Mr. Anoleis' thugs might be necessary. He has members of Hanshan's security team searching my offices. He is paying them under the table. Ms. Matsuo is unaware of their outside employment," Lorik said.

"I'll focus on trying to get your evidence. If I'm lucky, I won't have to fight anyone," Shepard said.

 _Ha!_ She somehow doubted she would be lucky. She rarely was.

"Excellent. Here is my pass into our offices. It will activate the elevator. The evidence is on my office computer. This OSD contains an encryption key to access it. Slide it into the drive and it will auto-execute. And do try to keep blood stains off the carpets, would you?" Lorik said handing Shepard the OSD.

"Huh, I kinda like him," Shepard said as they headed for the elevator to Lorik's office.

"Aww, and here I thought I was your favorite turian," Garrus whined.

"You don't see me giving him fancy guns and asking him to watch my back, do you?" Shepard asked.

"Hmmm, fair enough," Garrus said.

Shepard chuckled and glanced at Liara out of the corner of her eye. She clearly had trouble socializing, but she seemed to be a bit quieter than normal. Undoubtedly, her mind was focused on finding her mother. She seemed to be holding it together so far. Shepard considered sending her back to the ship but decided against it as they stepped out of the elevator and were confronted by an ERCS guard.

"Freeze! Hanshan security. This office is sealed," the guard said.

"What'll you do if I don't?" Shepard challenged.

"You're the Spectre right? Lorik Qui'in is under investigation," the woman said.

"I'm going in there, and I don't want to hurt you," Shepard said calmly. "Why don't you just go? We'll pretend this never happened?"

"You want to cause trouble?" the guard asked pulling her weapon.

Stupid, stupid, stupid people. Shepard sighed and pulled her pistol out, shooting the guard with one fluid motion. The others scrambled for cover as Shepard's team did the same. It only took a couple of minutes, if even that to take out the guards; some of them were hiding upstairs. Shepard cleared the area, making sure that every guard was down before heading to Lorik's office. She connected the OSD to Lorik's computer while Garrus watched the door. Just as the data was finishing its transfer, Garrus spoke up.

"Ah, Commander. We have visitors. That Sergeant Stirling from the docks and some more of her men," he said.

"Oh goody," Shepard said as she unplugged the OSD.

She glanced at Garrus and caught the twinkle of amusement in his eyes before he turned back to look through his sniper scope at the group coming up the stairs. Shepard patted his shoulder on the way out.

"Let's see what she has to say before you start shooting, huh?" Shepard said.

Stirling stepped forward to cut off Shepard's exit, "I don't think you're supposed to be in here, Shepard."

"Do you plan on making me leave?" Shepard asked.

"Leave? You think I'm going to let you walk out? Uh-uh. Anoleis would throw you off world for what you did here. I won't. You know what we did to cop killers on my world?" Stirling asked.

"You're men are dirty, Sergeant. You're here off-duty breaking the law for bribe money," Garrus said.

Shepard half shrugged, "I didn't want to fight them. They fired first."

"Well, I don't need a gun to rip you to pieces," Stirling said ordering her men to fire.

Shepard had her pistol already out and was firing before Stirling could take cover. She fired a couple of shots at the Sergeant before turning to shoot the snipers on the lower floor from the balcony. She turned back in time to take out another ERCS guard before he shot Liara. She ordered Liara to use a Singularity, pulling Stirling and another guard in to the swirling mass. A few more shots and they were all dead. Shepard rolled her shoulders and her neck. Garrus checked his thermal clip. Liara looked like she might be a little sick.

"Come on, let's get this back to Lorik Qui'in," Shepard said.

They ran into Parasini on the way off of the elevator. She said there had been reports of noise from the Synthetic Insights offices. Shepard didn't have time for games. She asked the woman what it was she wanted. She didn't seem to like Shepard's unwillingness to play along with her charade as she furrowed her brow and told Shepard to meet her in the bar before she spoke to Lorik Qui'in. Parasini turned and walked away.

"Shepard, I think that there is more to that woman than she is letting on," Liara said.

"I know. Come on, let's go see what she wants," Shepard said.

Shepard entered the bar and saw Parasini standing at a table watching the entrance. Parasini stepped away from the table as Shepard approached.

"Allow me to reintroduce myself. Parasini, Noveria Internal Affairs," Parasini said.

"Why is an Internal Affairs agent here?" Shepard asked blandly.

"The Executive Board knows about Anoleis' corruption. I've been undercover for six months. I want you to convince Qui'in to testify before the Board. With his evidence, this planet can run profitably again," Parasini said.

Shepard spent some time asking Parasini questions about her job and why she couldn't get her own proof. Garrus urged Shepard to help Parasini while Liara remained quiet. Eventually, with Parasini's promise to supply a garage pass for Shepard, she agreed to help the Internal Affairs Agent out.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose as she made her way to Lorik.

"Always a pleasure, Spectre. Any news on that matter I asked you to look into?" Lorik asked.

"I finished the job. But an Internal Affairs investigator contacted me. She wants you to testify against Anoleis," Shepard said.

Lorik scowled, "Now that you have my property, you want to dictate how I use it? I have no interest in a public spectacle."

Shepard thought she heard a low growl from Garrus. The sound surprised her, her skin prickled as goosebumps formed along her spine. She started to turn to look at him but stopped, focusing on Lorik. If the turians were going to get into a pissing contest she needed to watch the one she was the most likely to have to shoot. She knew that turian culture employed a tier system, and that one turians rank in that tier system determined how another turian would interact. She wondered who had the higher rank here. She had a feeling that Garrus wasn't one to be swayed much by rank, and wasn't likely to take shit from someone because of their tier.

Shepard sighed, "Everyone on this station is chaffing under Anoleis' extortion. You might end up a hero."

"My employers rely on the goodwill of the Executive Board to work here," Lorik almost whined, changing tactics as his eyes flicked to Garrus.

"The Board is investigating Anoleis. They'll be more angry at him than at you," Garrus said, his subharmonics relating something to the other turian that Shepard couldn't understand.

"Alright! It's obvious that I cannot dissuade you. Very well, I will testify. Make whatever arrangements you need with your contact. I will wait here," Lorik conceded.

Back in Parasini's office, Shepard informed her that Lorik Qui'in had agreed to testify. Parasini gave her some backwards compliment about Shepard being alright for a Spectre. She gave Parasini Lorik's evidence and Parasini gave her a garage pass. Shepard stuck around to watch in amusement as Parasini arrested Anoleis. The asshole salarian had the nerve to demand that Shepard intervene on his behalf. She was seriously starting to wonder if all Spectres had to put up with this much crap or if people just thought that the first human Spectre would be an easy target.

"You enjoyed that," Garrus noted.

"So did you," she replied without returning his gaze.

She heard him chuff in response as they left Parasini's office. Shepard led them to where she had seen signs for the garage. A turian wearing orange and blue and lacking facial markings stood near the stairs. It occurred to her that she didn't recall seeing any on Saren either. Her research on turians had told her that when a one didn't have markings they were referred to as barefaced, and were generally looked down upon and distrusted by turian society.

The turian greeted Shepard and asked them about Anoleis' arrest. He seemed like a decent guy, someone human's would call 'blue collar', a working man and not into business politics. She spared a moment to talk to him about Anoleis and asked a few questions about what was going on around Noveria. She learned that he was the Chief Mechanic for Hanshan and told her she could call him Li since humans had trouble pronouncing his full name. Li wasn't able to really tell her anything that she hadn't already heard, but did help to confirm some of her suspicions. He said that the blizzards happen up on Peak 15 all the time and they've never lost satellite communication before. Shepard was pleased to see that Garrus didn't seem bothered by talking to a barefaced turian. She thought it might have to do with his time in C-Sec. Shepard smiled and told the mechanic she had to go.

She made her way up the staircase and had to show her pass to a guard to get through. She was relieved when they didn't question the pass; Shepard really wouldn't have been surprised to find that Parasini's pass wasn't going to work and she had to jump through more hoops. No sooner than Shepard entered the garage, they were attacked by geth destroyers and stalkers.

"I'd say these are what the Matriarch had in the crates," Garrus said as they all drew their weapons.

Liara and Shepard used their biotics to keep the geth off of their feet as much as possible in between shots. Shepard took a couple of hits but didn't lose her shields. Captain Matsuo came running into the garage with backup.

"What the – What are these things? Fan out and secure the area! No one gets in or out!" she yelled to her men.

Shepard put her gun away and went over to the captain who was shaken and ready to blame Shepard.

"What did you do here, Commander?" Matsuo demanded.

"Me? I'm the victim here! The geth attacked us," Shepard raised her voice in defense.

"Geth? You expect me to – Where did they come from?" Matsuo asked.

"If I were to guess, the Matriarch packed them in the shipping containers she arrived with," Garrus spoke up sounding every bit as annoyed with the woman's obliviousness as Shepard was.

"I don't believe that. We did thorough scans of those. There were no power sources, no element zero masses…" Matsuo said. "If Benezia-sama's containers were packed with these things, there are many more out there."

"I need numbers, Captain. A dozen? A hundred?" Shepard asked glad that the woman was starting to understand that gravity of the situation.

"Dozens at least. They are machines. You could pack them tightly. I must report to the Executive Board. If word gets out about lose geth, there may be an investor panic," Matsuo said before walking away.

"An investor panic," Shepard said shaking her head.

They took one of the vehicles in the garage and made their way through the snow covered pass, stopping frequently to take out geth waiting in ambush along the way. Shepard was grateful for the trail of guide lights along the ridge, visibility was low and without them she likely would have gone over the edge. The geth had erected turrets in several locations which made the road all that much more hazardous. Shepard saw several abandoned vehicles and a few corpses along the way. She couldn't be certain that the geth had killed these people, but it seemed to be the most likely conclusion. She wondered if these were men that Anoleis sent to investigate Peak 15, and if they were, how many of them had to never return before he quit sending more out to die.

The trip took far longer than it would have under normal conditions. Shepard and her team arrived at a building in the mountainside. A vehicle lay flipped over and burning just outside. They left their own vehicle not far from the door and went inside, weapons out and ready. A quick glance at her combat scanner showed that they were already about to face some big nasties. Shepard eased her way through the area; a closed garage door gave her a bit more time to get into position. The door rolled up and she darted behind a crate. A handful of krogan and several geth later they were making their way towards a staircase when an automated message played over the comm system.

"User alert. All Peak 15 facilities have suffered a great deal of damage. Biohazard materials present throughout facility. Virtual Intelligence user interface offline," the voice said.

"We'll need to get the reactors back online," Garrus suggested.

The stairs led up to a walkway that took them around a corner and to a door. The next area had two automated turrets facing inwards instead of out. Shepard was just glad that they weren't shooting at the moment.

"Why are the turrets facing the wrong way?" Liara asked

"They want to keep their people in as much as they want to keep others out," Garrus said.

They followed the hall as it wrapped around to a security room. Shepard took the time to empty out a couple of lockers before moving forward. The next door was locked, and the power seemed to be cut. They backtracked to the elevator and took it up to a walkway. The windows that should have protected the area had been opened at some point and snow filled the hall. Her combat scanner indicated enemy activity ahead. She opened the door to find another area filled with geth and snow. An overturned table provided cover right next to the door. They were making this too easy, Shepard thought. She took out the nearest geth before putting her back to the table.

When the room was cleared, Shepard started to make her way to the stairs. Screeching and the groaning sounds of metal being torn filled the area. Her team formed a triangle with their backs to one another as they looked around trying to locate the source of the noise. Shepard could hear Liara and Garrus talking but she wasn't paying attention to her teammates chatter. Seeing movement on the second floor, Shepard spun to face the threat. Behind the glass was what looked like an insect of nightmarish proportions. It was bigger than the wheels on the Mako. Brown, chitinous plating covered the giant bug's body and two long, whip-like appendages waved around ending in sharp points. Her mouth got a little dry as she indicated the location to her team. _Rachni. Crazy rachni. Removed from their mother and driven crazy by her absence; little more than animals at this point. Deadly, creepy, bugs. Keep your distance. They do the most damage if they get close to you._ It opened its beak like mouth; spreading apart several sharp plates to make a high pitched screech. Shepard saw Garrus flinch out of the corner of her eye. She knew his hearing was sensitive and hoped that this thing wasn't able to debilitate him with sound. Liara gasped and mumbled something about the Goddess. Before they could move into a better position, a swarm of dinner plate sized bugs filled the area. They rushed straight for her team and when one got close enough, it exploded sending a green toxic substance to splash out over anyone unlucky enough to be in range.

Shepard did her best to shoot the smaller ones before they could get too close but managed to miss one and got splashed. She could hear the sizzle as the ooze made its way through her armor.

"Fuck!" she said before trying to use some of the snow to wash it away.

Cautiously, she made her way up the stairs in time to see one of the larger creatures scuttling her way, and it was no longer alone. Cutting it off before it could get down the stairs; she used a biotic Lift to take it off its feet. Her team open fired on the insect, their shots taking a little more effort to get through the plating but finally it collapsed. The second one was already rushing towards them and before Shepard could give the order, Liara sent it flying into a wall using a Throw.

"What were those things?" Garrus asked.

Shepard had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach telling her she knew they were rachni. Rachni were supposed to have been extinct, wiped out by the krogans but somehow the aliens that had terrified the galaxy enough for the Council to throw the krogans at them where alive and here on Peak 15. She kept her suspicions quiet; she didn't want her team doubting her. _Rachni. Yes! You're starting to listen. Good. Good. Can you hear me now? You need to go to Ilos. The Conduit is on Ilos._

"Xenobiology is not my field," Liara said. "Maybe someone in the labs knows."

They encountered two more rachni as the aliens dropped from the ceiling panels in an attempt to ambush her team. They went through another frozen walkway and to another elevator. Shepard was deeply concerned about the presence of rachni here. If they got off of this station, they would spread throughout the galaxy, inciting war. The elevator let them out in a hall with three exits and another swarm of the little green rachni. _Workers, we call them. But that's not important. Ilos. Ilos is important. Ilos. Please gods, hear that._

At the far side of the room was an entryway to a power system. Attempts to activate a nearby power junction triggered an automated message telling her that a manual reboot was necessary. Shepard moved through the hall and to the power system. It was a large rounded structure that reached to the ceiling. She had to walk around the outer curve until she found the opening and stepped onto the platform. Activated, the platform lowered her down into the VI's core. There were some missing power stacks that had been pulled from the core, and others seemed to be out of order. Shepard glanced at the mess and got to work knowing exactly what went where. She had that uneasy feeling telling her that it shouldn't be this easy for her but she brushed it aside. With everything in its proper place, the VI systems started to reboot and she rode back up to where Liara and Garrus waited.

A holographic image of a human female appeared, identifying itself as Mira, and offered help in restoring the facility. Shepard identified herself as a Spectre, hoping that would entitle her to more information. Mira confirmed Shepard's status and informed her of her clearance. When Shepard asked about Benezia, Mira informed Shepard that Benezia had taken the tramway to the Rift Station but the tramway system was currently down. Shepard would have to do some repairs to get the trams back up and running. She needed to restart the main reactor and reconnect the landlines. Mira had no information on why the systems were shut down, but suggested it could be due to loose contaminants in the area; the theory being that the cold would kill off or disable any organic or mechanical contaminants. That must be why the area had been opened up and snow was filling the building in various places. There had been a release of contaminants in the Hot Labs just prior to Mira being shut down but Mira refused to tell Shepard the nature of the contaminants stating that she didn't have the clearance for that information. It seemed pretty obvious to her what the contaminants were with the rachni they had already encountered. She just wanted to hear the VI say it out-loud, confirm her fears and clear the way for her to discuss the rachni with her team without sounding insane.

She got all of the information that Mira was able to give her before leaving the VI to find the reactor and landlines. They took an elevator to the roof and had to fight through more rachni to get to the landlines. Shepard activated the automated landline repair system and waited until she was sure it was doing its job before rushing back inside the elevator. She was not a fan of the cold and even less so of snow. They were confronted by another rachni soldier inside the hall leading to the elevator that would take them to the reactor. She made a note to research what was known of the rachni when she got back to the Normandy.

The elevator opened and Shepard took two steps into the room when her combat scanner jammed. Several geth were in the next area posted behind each of the doors. They fought through to the reactor core but more geth came down from the other side before Shepard could restart the reactor. She took a few hard hits and had to use Medi-gel on herself, relying on her team to cover her while she tended to her wounds. Liara and Garrus took down the last geth and returned to Shepard's side. She nodded to them, letting them know she was fine. Liara sighed in relief. Shepard triggered the restart on the reactor before heading for the door.

"Damn it," Shepard cursed when her scanner jammed again, "Where the hell do they keep coming from?"

Shepard saw the juggernaut on a balcony firing down on them. She scanned the balcony until she spotted ramp that led to the balcony and ran for it. Her team was hot on her heels as she shot at two geth stalkers that jumped in their path before reaching the juggernaut. Satisfied that the area was finally clear she continued on towards the trams.

Another rachni soldier popped up out of the floor's ventilation systems right next to her before she could enter the station. Shepard jumped, feeling on edge with all of the damn bugs jumping up from out of nowhere. They finally made it to the elevator and up to the tramway station. Mira's voice activated over the elevator's comm system to inform them that there were loose contaminants trapped in the decontamination area; cutting off passage to the tramway.

"Of course," Shepard grumbled as she stepped off the elevator.

A dead salarian lay on the floor next to his final logs. He pleaded with whoever he was leaving the message for to get out while they could. It looked like he had killed himself rather than to be taken alive by the rachni. Shepard saw a terminal for Mira and accessed it, bringing up the holographic image. Mira wanted Shepard to repair the plasma purge system to clear the contaminants – which Shepard could clearly see were rachni – trapped in the decontamination chamber but she wasn't able to make the repairs herself. She had to convince Mira to open the decontamination chamber so Shepard could kill the rachni manually.

Shepard glanced around the tramway station; it was a relatively open platform with clusters of chairs. The room was clear, so they boarded the tram and hit the button to get it started towards the Rift Station. Liara sat down in one of the seats to watch out the window as the snowy mountain tops passed by in the distance. Shepard remained standing, as did Garrus. When it became apparent that the ride was going to take a while, Shepard finally took a seat next to Liara. They rode in silence for the better part of the trip. At some point Shepard resumed standing and Garrus took that as his cue to rest. Twice he looked up to see Shepard staring at him and she quickly turned her head to stare out the window instead. The third time she didn't bother to look away, holding his gaze instead. Garrus leaned back in his seat and draped his arms across the back. His mandibles fluttered in silent laughter and Shepard's eyes followed them.

"Metal, but softer than you'd probably expect," his flanging voice broke through their staring contest.

"What?" Shepard asked.

"My mandibles, well, the plating in general. You were wondering what they felt like, weren't you? Most humans who haven't been around turians much get curious," Garrus said with a smile. "Go ahead, touch them. Just, ah, leave my cowl alone if you don't mind."

Shepard scoffed and raised an eyebrow. Liara's giggle caught her attention, the asari turned back to look out the window. Garrus continued to watch her, waiting.

"Seriously?" she asked starting to realize he was serious.

"Sure. Most turians wouldn't allow such casual contact, but I'm not most turians," he said.

Shepard straightened, her curiosity getting the better of her she pulled off a glove, "Huh, OK."

She reached out touched Garrus' face, tentatively feeling the warm metallic plating beneath her fingertips. The surface was a bit grainy, but it had given when she gently pushed. She cocked her head, fascinated. She had expected it to be hard, like armor but it wasn't. She moved her fingers down to the protruding mandible and Garrus snapped his razor sharp teeth at her hand making her jump and squeal in a way very unbecoming of her rank. Laughter rang out from but Garrus and Liara. He flinched when she swatted at his arm before sliding her glove back on.

"Damn it, Garrus. You tell no one of this," she turned to look at Liara who was wiping tears from her eyes. "Either of you!"

"Yes, Commander," the both said as their laughter died out.

The tram arrived at the Rift Station. It was quiet and orderly from the outside. Two doors led from the tramway, one was locked and although Shepard thought she could probably bypass it she opted to check the open area first. It led her to two more doors and again, Shepard followed the path of least resistance and went to the opened door and took the elevator up. The doors opened up in front of a man with a gun pointed in their direction. He had others with him, tucked back behind crates. When he saw Shepard and her crew he gave the order to stand down.

"Sorry, we couldn't be sure what was on that tram," the man said.

"Can those things work a train's controls?" Shepard knew it sounded bitchy but she genuinely wanted to know, because if they were smart enough for that they might already be off the station.

"Hell if I know. I'm not assuming any-goddamn-thing," he said. "Look, you're human, and that's enough that I won't shoot. But I'd like to know who you are."

"My name's Shepard. I'm a Spectre," Shepard said.

"Huh. I won't look a heavily armed horse in the mouth. The aliens overran the hot labs last week. Only Han Olar got out, and he ain't all there anymore. The first we knew, the bastards were clawing into my command post. We had a lot more staff then."

"You were taken by surprise and had civilians to protect," Shepard said to boost morale. "You did a good job, Captain."

"Yeah? Sure as hell doesn't feel like it. The board sent an asari to clean up the mess. She went to the hot labs yesterday. We haven't heard from her since," the man said.

"Benezia. Is she still over there?" Shepard asked a part of her wanting to offer reassurances to the Captain but knowing better than to make promises she couldn't keep.

The man shrugged, "I don't know. I don't see what one person could do."

"A Matriarch has the skill to keep herself alive for a long time," Liara said.

Shepard wondered if that was Liara's objective view or wishful thinking.

"There's an emergency elevator out by the trams. This card will let you activate it," he said handing Shepard the keycard. "It can take you down to the hot labs. Oh, and if you need any first aid, Dr. Cohen's downstairs in the med bay."

The Captain wasn't able to give her a lot of information mostly because he just didn't have it to give. She was able to learn that all of the security systems could be controlled from one central station, and that in the event of a crisis, the hot labs was designed to heat up and sink into the ice in the mountain to prevent the spread of whatever catastrophe the labs had let loose. The Captain seemed to believe that the rachni came from inside the labs themselves. Shepard was about to leave him to guard his station when more of the giant insects attacked; jumping up out of the floor's ventilation system. Shepard and her team made quick work of the rachni with a little help from the Captain and his men.

"Thanks for the help," he sounded distraught. "Every few hours, a group comes up the tram tunnel. It's actually better since we locked down the elevator."

"I'll do whatever I can," Shepard said; she just hoped that was enough.

"I don't know why they keep throwing themselves against our defenses. Even animals should learn not to stick their noses where it hurts," the Captain said.

The door behind the captain eventually led to a room where many civilians were gathered. Most of them looked exhausted and scared. A few had sustained minor injuries and were resting quietly. An asari stood alone, calm and passive. She wore a green lab uniform, which really brought out the green undertones of her skin.

"What?" the asari snapped at Shepard when she stopped in front of her.

"You seem less upset about this situation than the others," Shepard said.

"That is one of the virtues of the mediation you interrupted," the asari said.

 _Don't trust her. She's working with Benezia. She's going to ambush you. You're going to have to kill her._

"Do you know Matriarch Benezia?" Shepard asked not liking the asari's attitude.

"Why ask me and not your friend?" she said looking at Liara.

"Because I do not know anything about the Matriarch," Liara insisted.

"Then why would I?" she asked.

"You're a member of the science teams?" Shepard asked trying to ignore the snark.

"Recently transferred, yes," the asari said.

"What do you do here?" Shepard continued to push.

"Molecular genetics. I specialize in biotic-enhanced allele specific hybridization," the asari said.

"Think you could translate that into galactic?" Shepard asked giving back a bit of her own attitude.

The asari sighed, "It's a genetic thing. Forget it."

"That's all for now," Shepard said with a head tilt.

She knew if she didn't walk away she was risking punching the asari in her pretty blue nose. She stopped to talk to an elcor and made a few purchases from him before moving on to speak to the other scientists in the room. Most of them were pretty shaken up and didn't have much to say. Shepard spotted a salarian resting on a cot and decided to try her luck with him. She didn't have a lot of experiences with salarians, but from what she had seen their species tended to stay calmer under stressful situations than most. She felt bad for disturbing the doctor, especially since he didn't turn out to be the fountain of information she had hoped for. She left him to rest and made her way to the med bay.

Several cots lined the walls and every one was filled with a patient, groaning with discomfort. A human doctor stood near a terminal. She hoped that whatever was wrong with his patients wasn't contagious. The doctor was as jumpy as most of the other scientists in the labs. His non-disclosure agreement kept him from saying much but he did tell her that they had come in contact with a toxin. He was working on an antidote when the VI went offline and most of the automated equipment stopped working. Everything he needed to complete the cure was locked in the quarantined labs, but he wasn't permitted to enter. He said he told Captain Ventralis that the toxin would have cleared by now, but he still refused to lift the quarantine. Shepard offered to try and convince Ventralis to allow her team to go in after the antidote.

It took a little sweet talking but a few minutes later Shepard was headed to the quarantine area. She found the volus, Han Olar, who was the sole survivor of the original rachni attack and stopped to talk to him. Traumatized by the event, Han didn't seem to be holding it together very well. Shepard felt an odd sense of relief mixed with rising dread and panic when the volus confirmed that the insects they had encountered were indeed rachni.

"Rachni? That's preposterous," Liara insisted.

Shepard didn't waste any time trying to debate what she already knew to be truth.

"Where did they come from?" she asked Han.

"They found it in a derelict ship. An egg. Waiting since the last battles. They brought it here-," Han Olar said when he was cut off by a human male.

"Shut up! God. You want to get us killed?" the scientist yelled at Han.

Han shook his head at the man, the sounds of his respirator punctuating his point, "I don't have any control over who lives of dies here. Do you?"

A turian shook his head in disgust, "If you're going to be crazy, be the quiet kind."

"Crazy? I'm sane. God, am I sane," Han said.

Shepard waited for the volus to pay attention to her again before asking him how he had gotten out of the hot labs alive.

His respirator filled the moment of silence, "I killed her."

"Who?" Liara asked.

"Doctor Zhonmua. We were going to lunch when the alarms went off. I ran into the tram. And I closed the doors. She banged on the window once. Then they sliced her to pieces. Her head came apart like a melon. I closed the door. I killed her," Han said between deep breaths.

Shepard watched the volus carefully for a moment. He was definitely not stable, and understandably so. Still, he might be of some use. She hated seeing people as tools and she didn't want to push Han past is breaking point – especially when he was already so close to it but right now her mission took priority over the mental health of one volus.

"Tell me what you know. I'll make your survival mean something," Shepard said as delicately as she could muster.

"You think I want absolution? There is none," Han said.

"Could Matriarch Benezia survive in the hot labs?" Shepard asked.

"It's possible. The specimens were sensitive to biotics," Han said.

Shepard left the volus to replay the nightmare in his head. She knew he would. She knew he must. She had done the same after the slaver attacks on Mindoir. After Akuze. After all of the horrible deaths she had seen and caused in her line of work. The killing got easier, but she never really forgot the death. The guard outside of the quarantined area reminded her that Ventralis said that she had to be clear of the toxin herself before she'd be allowed back out of the lab. Shepard didn't say anything, but she'd be coming back out of that lab one way or the other. He let her in the lab and she made her way over to the desk. She found the doctor's notes and spent some time studying them before attempting to mix the cure. She was grateful to have Liara with her, even if this wasn't Liara's field of expertise the asari was able to make more sense out of the notes than Shepard was. The antidote took time to mix, apparently the components had to be added at very specific intervals but Liara believed they had it right.

She gathered the vials and the notes before turning to leave the room, only to find that the asari she had spoken to before had entered the lab with a few geth friends of her own.

"Your mission ends here, Shepard," the bitchy asari said.

"Ambush," Garrus muttered pointing out the obvious.

Shepard didn't have time for this shit. She didn't waste time trying to talk the asari down, she knew it would be pointless and she highly doubted she would give her any information.

"She's surrounded by geth and pointing a gun at us. Shoot her!" Shepard said.

"You're not as stupid as you look," the asari said just before Shepard shot her in the face.

The fight lasted mere seconds; her team was damn good and efficient. Liara may not be a soldier, but she was deadly with her biotics. They left the lab to find the guard lying on the floor, blue blood trickled from the back of his head. Han waved her down when he saw her and pointed to the maintenance area saying it was where the geth came from and told Shepard that Benezia brought them with her. He didn't seem to realize that they were actually geth and not merely mechs. She wasn't going to tell him. He had enough on his plate.

She delivered the antidote to Dr. Cohen and told him about the asari's attack. He seemed genuinely shocked. He told Shepard that the asari, Alestia, had only arrived at the labs a month prior after a shareholder pulled some strings to get her there. Shepard knew that shareholder had to be Saren; Garrus but voice to the same thought. Shepard asked Cohen how she could get into the maintenance area; if it was where the geth had come from then it was where she needed to be. Dr. Cohen gave Shepard his pass key and some extra Medi-gel after warning her that the guards had seemed more on edge since Shepard's arrival.

They went back to the maintenance door that Han had pointed out to her. It opened into a tunnel cut through the mountain. At the end of the tunnel was a door, but in front of that door was a rachni soldier. They were getting good at taking out the monstrous insects. Shepard didn't even have to stop walking as she fired her gun at the alien. Shepard made her way through several doors before she entered a room and saw an asari standing at the top of a set of stairs looking at something through an observation window. Shepard wasn't close enough to get a good look at her but she could tell by Liara's sharp intake of breath that this was Benezia. They approached with caution, scanning the area but saw no one else around.

"You do not know the privilege of being a mother," Benezia said as they neared. "There is power in creation. To shape a life. Turn it towards happiness or despair."

Shepard was close enough now that she could see the biggest rachni yet trapped in a container behind the observation window. The thing had to be at least as big as the Mako. Benezia turned to look briefly at Shepard as she spoke, her eyes barely flickering over Liara before turning back to the rachni.

"Her children were to be ours. Raised to hunt and slay Saren's enemies," Benezia continued before walking a few steps towards the stairs. "I won't be moved by sympathy. No matter who you bring into this confrontation."

"Liara's here because she wants to be. Not because I asked her to," Shepard said; feeling Liara shift behind her.

"Indeed? What have you told her about me, Liara?" Benezia asked.

"What could I say, Mother? That you're insane? Evil? Should I explain how to kill you? What could I say?" Liara said rising to near frantic tones.

"Have you ever faced an asari commando unit before? Few humans have," Benezia said.

"I can't believe you'd kill your own daughter," Shepard said in disgust.

She wasn't even trying to explain herself. She was showing absolutely no emotion at all. Liara might as well have been any other asari for as much mind as Benezia was showing her. Shepard hadn't expected Liara's presence to make Benezia repent and beg for forgiveness but she had expected something, anything but this.

"I now realize I should have been stricter with her," Benezia said as if that somehow justified her actions.

Benezia lit up with blue energy and before Shepard had time to react she found herself paralyzed as she was caught in Benezia's Stasis. Commandos rushed into the room and Benezia stepped back, partially hidden by the support beams while Shepard was helpless. The Stasis subsided and Shepard wasted no time firing on the commandos and giving orders to her team. Benezia called in more reinforcements as the first wave fell, geth and commandos this time. Shepard was able to take cover as they continued the assault. Wave after wave Benezia threw at them, using her biotics to barricade herself. Shepard tried taking shots at the matriarch but they weren't getting through. The woman was incredibly powerful; Shepard had no choice but to keep fighting her minions until she had an opening. Eventually, Benezia's strength began to falter and Shepard moved in on the matriarch.

"This is not over," Benezia said. "Saren is unstoppable. My mind is filled with his light. Everything is clear."

"Start talking, Benezia. What's Saren's next move?" Shepard demanded.

Benezia had regained enough strength to stand again, but she kept her back to Shepard. Shepard wasn't concerned. She knew how much that show of biotic power had to have taken from the woman and she was not in a position to put up much more fight.

Benezia looked over her shoulder briefly at Shepard, "I will not betray him. You will – You…"

Benezia's speech began to falter and she put her hands down on the console in front of her. She shook her head as she spoke, as if trying to clear her mind of some disturbing thought. She suddenly turned to face Shepard, her eyes bright and urgency written on her face.

"You must listen. Saren still whispers in my mind. I can fight his compulsions. Briefly. But the indoctrination is strong," Benezia said stepping towards Shepard.

"Are you saying he brainwashed you?" Shepard asked with a raised eyebrow. _Indoctrinated. It isn't Saren doing it though, but Sovereign. The reapers have a way of compelling people to their side, making them behave in ways that they never would have before. A way of making them believe that the destruction the reapers will bring is what is best. They're crazed, and will fight to the death to help bring back the reapers. I think maybe… I think sometimes that maybe… I don't know. We spend a lot of time near reapers fighting them. What if we only think we're fighting against them?_

"People are not themselves around Saren. You come to idolize him. Worship him. You would do anything for him," Benezia took a few more steps. "The key is Sovereign, his flagship. It is a dreadnought of incredible size and its power is extraordinary."

"Sovereign's not like other ships. Where did it come from?" asked Shepard.

 _He was created by the Intelligence, the AI created by the Leviathans to bring order to the chaos. It turned on its creators, harvesting them and turning them into the reapers. The reapers are nothing but the Intelligence's tools. It is psychotic, it thinks that all of this death and destruction, the horrors it creates somehow is order but it's the most chaotic thing to have ever existed._

"I cannot say. The geth did not build it. Its technology is far more advanced than that of any known species. The longer you stay aboard, the more Saren's will seems correct. You sit at his feet and smile as his words pour into you," Benezia explained. "It is subtle at first. I thought I was strong enough to resist. Instead, I became a willing tool, eager to serve. He sent me here to find the location of the Mu Relay. Its position was lost thousands of years ago."

Shepard shook her head, "Someone on Noveria found it?"

"Two thousand years ago, the rachni inhabited that region of our galaxy. They discovered the relay. The rachni can share memories across generations. Queens inherit the knowledge of their mothers. I took the location of the relay from the queen's mind. I was not gentle," Benezia said hanging her head.

"Why does Saren need the Mu Relay?" Shepard asked.

"He believes it will lead him to the Conduit. I would tell you more if I could, but Saren did not share his counsel with me. I was merely a servant to his cause," said Benezia.

"You can still make it right. Give me the information," Shepard said gesturing to the rachni queen in her tank.

"I was not myself, but – I should have been stronger," Benezia closed the distance to Shepard and held out her hand. "I transcribed the data to an OSD. Take it. Please."

Liara finally spoke up, "Knowing the relay's coordinates is not enough. Do you know where he planned to go from there?"

"Saren wouldn't tell me his destination. But you must find it quickly. I transmitted the coordinates to him before you arrived. You have to stop – me. I can't – his teeth are at my ear. Fingers on my spine. You should – Uh, you should-," Benezia shook her head again and turned her back, walking away from Shepard.

Liara took a panicked step towards her mother, "Mother, I – Don't leave! Fight him!"

Benezia glanced over her shoulder at her daughter, "You've always made me proud, Liara."

Benezia turned back around to face Shepard and her team, her eyes empty once more, "Die!"

Benezia charged her biotics, pulling the blue energy up around her. Liara didn't hesitate to shoot her mother, Garrus and Shepard at her side firing too even as more commandos ran into the room. Benezia fell to her knees, severely wounded and all of the fight gone from her. Shepard moved to cover shooting at the asari across the walkway. Biotics were being thrown all over the place. Shepard fell to the ground; her body twisting when a commando's Warp hit her. As soon as she could she was back on her feet and behind cover using a Lift to take the commando off her feet while Garrus finished her off in the air. Shepard checked to make sure the room was clear before running back to Benezia. She hoped there was time to save the matriarch, for Liara's sake. Better to have a mother in prison than dead by your own hand.

"I cannot go on. You will have to stop him, Shepard," Benezia said pulling herself up from the floor.

"Hold on. We've got Medi-gel, maybe we can-," Shepard started to say.

"No," the matriarch said forcefully. "He is still in my mind. I am not entirely myself. I never will be again.

Benezia started to stumble back; her hand went to her forehead.

"Mother…," Liara said the desperation in her voice breaking Shepard's heart.

"Good night, Little Wing. I will see you again with the dawn," Benezia said as her back hit the observation window and she slumped to the floor. "No light? They always said there would be – Ah…"

Benezia breathed her final; her head hung loose on her neck. Shepard reached out hand and gently squeezed Liara's shoulder. Shepard left Liara to say her goodbyes. She stood in front of the observation window with an arm resting against the glass as she looked at the rachni inside. Garrus moved to stand watch over the area. Suddenly the rachni lunged towards the glass, opening its mouth wide. Shepard stumbled back bumping into something; she spun on her heel and came face to face with one of the commandos. Shepard's gun came up at the asari but she quickly realized the woman wasn't attacking. Confused, Shepard took a step back watching as the asari staggered towards the rachni's tank. Her feet didn't seem to work right and her eyes were closed. She looked like a puppet being pulled by its strings. The asari got next to the tank and then turned to face Shepard. Her eyes opened but did not focus; instead they rolled upwards in her skull while her mouth hung slack. The asari started to speak; a second fainter, whispered tone seemed to echo her words.

"This one serves as our voice. We cannot sing in these low spaces. Your musics are colorless," the asari twitched as she spoke.

"Musics? What?" Shepard asked glad to see that Garrus and Liara were at her side again.

"Your way of communicating is strange. Flat. It does not color the air. When we speak, one moves all. We are the mother. We sing for those left behind. The children you thought silenced. We are rachni," the asari said.

Shepard took a few steps forward to stand in front of the observation glass next to the dead asari. She peered in at the rachni, listening to the voice of a ghost speak through a corpse. Shepard addressed the rest of her questions directly to the rachni queen.

"How are you speaking through her?" Shepard asked wondering if the commando was in pain.

"Our kind sing through touchings of thought. We pluck the strings, and the other understands. She is weak to urging. She has colors we have no names for. But she is ending. Her music is bittersweet. It is beautiful. The children we birthed were stolen from us before they could learn to sing. They are lost to silence. End their suffering. They cannot be saved. They will only cause harm as they are," the rachni queen said.

Shepard turned her back to the tank and crossed her arms to watch the asari. If she understood the queen correctly, the asari was still technically alive and in the process of dying. The asari's head turned to Shepard, her eyes moving to track Shepard. She wasn't sure if that was the rachni's doing or if the asari still had some small level of control over her own body. She must be terrified, Shepard thought.

"I don't understand. Why are your children killing people?" Shepard asked.

"These needle-men. They stole our eggs from us. They sought to turn our children into beasts of war. Claws with no songs of their own. Our elders are comfortable with silence. Children know only fear if no one sings to them. Fear has shattered their minds," the rachni said.

"I understand," Liara said. "A child left alone in a closet until she is sixteen would not be sane."

"If you're sure they can't be saved," Shepard said.

"It is lamentable. But necessary. Do what you must," the queen said. "Before you deal with our children, we stand before you. What will you sing? Will you release us? Are we to fade away once more?"

"The rachni were a threat to the galaxy," Garrus said. "Those tanks are filled with acid. If she gets out of hand, they dissolve her."

Liara didn't seem to like Garrus' take on things, "They made a mistake. They let the krogan go too far. This is a chance for us to atone. She has done nothing to us."

"Your companions hear the truth. You have the power to free us, or return our people to the silence of memory," the rachni queen said.

"If I let you live, would you attack other races again?" Shepard asked knowing there was no way for her to tell if the rachni was lying.

"No. We – I do not know what happened in the war. We only heard discordance, songs the color of oily shadows. We would seek a hidden place to teach our children harmony. If they understand, perhaps we would return," the asari's trembling worsened.

"Are you a survivor from the war? A clone?" Shepard asked.

"We do not know. We were only an egg, hearing Mother cry in our dreams. A tone from spaces hushed one voice after another. It forced the singers to resonate with its own sour yellow note. Then we awoke, in this place. The last echo of those who came out from the Singing Planet. The sky is silent," the rachni queen said.

 _The reapers. They indoctrinated the rachni, made them fight, made them turn against the rest of the galaxy. Maybe, I don't know. Dr. Bryson thought it might have been the Leviathan's controlling them. It doesn't matter. Let her live, she will ally herself with us to fight the reapers. If you kill her, they will create a new queen, as insane as they are and will use her to spawn more rachni for them to corrupt and mutate. If you let this one live, they will capture her, and they will torture her and her children but you will find her again. We can save her again and she will help to turn the tides of war. Killing her gains nothing. Listen to me. DO NOT KILL HER!_

Shepard winced before crossing her arms, "I won't destroy your entire race. You'll go free."

Shepard knew that the Council would condemn her actions but she couldn't bring herself to see things their way. This was quite likely the last living member of a sentient species thought long dead, well aside from her children but as the queen said, they were a lost cause and would have to be put down. She knew that the rachni were a very dangerous species, but if she understood what the queen was saying something had happened to the rachni all those years ago that made them all go… rabid. Maybe it was actually some sort of disease that had passed along the population, but whatever it was the likelihood that it would be a problem again seemed slim to none. This queen, Shepard didn't think she intended to cause problems. She didn't sound like she was filled with hate, hell bent on revenge. Maybe it was stupid of her to think this way, how could she really know but she just felt it deep in her bones. Saving the rachni queen was the right choice to make.

"You will give us the chance to compose anew? We will remember. We will sing of your forgiveness to our children," the queen said.

Shepard stepped closer to the window watching the rachni queen. Looking into her eyes was so unlike any other species she had encountered. Nothing familiar resided there. Nothing for Shepard to latch on to and call sincerity. No emotion at all for her to comprehend in those eyes. She desperately hoped that she wouldn't regret this but she couldn't commit this act of genocide. Shepard released the hatch that held the queen's container. The container moved up and away from Shepard. The commando dropped to the ground as the queen released her hold on the asari. The rachni turned to watch Shepard; making a soft screech and chittering noises at her before she turned and fled the container.

Liara slipped a hand onto Shepard's shoulder, giving her a gentle squeeze as Shepard had done for her earlier. Shepard turned to look at the other woman. Liara offered Shepard a weak smile, tears still stained her face.

"It was the right thing, Shepard," Liara said.

Shepard didn't turn to look at Garrus, she was afraid she might see disappointment or something worse in his eyes. The thought made her stomach clench. She glanced at Benezia, she hurt for Liara but she knew they couldn't take Benezia with them. This place was too dangerous for them to be slowed down or to have anyone unable to fight because they were carrying a body.

"I'm sorry, Liara," Shepard began.

Liara shook her head, "It is alright, Shepard. That is not my mother any longer."

An alarm began to sound. Shepard saw that the way they entered was now locked behind them. She took them through a door on the opposite wall. The door led to stairs which led to another door; more stairs, more doors. They finally passed through a door and found themselves back out on the tramway platform. They weren't finished here though, so she took the door to her right and made her way back down the elevator for the hot labs. She was going to have to evacuate everyone she could and sink this building into the mountain. The area was empty except for one lone injured man, sitting on a chair in the middle of the room.

"Are you here to secure the situation?" The man asked.

Garrus and Liara spread out to watch the doors while Shepard talked to the man. He told her everything he knew about the rachni and how they had gotten into this mess.

"Once the purge is armed we'll have to fight our way out. Give us a minute to patch up and rearm," Shepard said.

"Sure, sure. I wait here. I am not so much good for searching now, yes? Ha. Mother always say I would meet a bad end," the man said.

Shepard changed out her thermal clips and told Garrus and Liara to do the same. She took a moment to check her wounds and apply more Medi-gel to the weeping areas. When Shepard was ready she spoke to the man with the Russian accent again.

"I am feeling not so well," he said.

"How do we set off the purge?" Shepard asked.

"Arming controls are nearby. All you do is insert the key. Then I will give Mira destruct co- UH!" the man screamed as a spiked tentacle ripped through his back and out of his chest.

Shepard had her gun up as she turned to see a rachni finish crawling out of the vent, hissing at Shepard. It flung the man's body across the room. She open fired on the rachni, as shots rang out from Garrus and Liara's locations. The rachni fell to the ground and Shepard rushed over to the man. She knew there was nothing to be done for him, he was dead within seconds but she needed to see if he had that authorization code on him somewhere. She turned his corpse over and began rifling through his pockets. She heard Liara gasp behind her but didn't waste time trying to explain her actions.

With a little luck, Shepard found the code on a small datapad in the man's pocket. She found a Mira console in the control room and activated the VI. Shepard read off the code to the VI. Mira activated the neutron purge process and automatically synced Shepard's omni-tool with the countdown timer; 120 seconds. That's all they had to get the hell off that station. Of course, every damn rachni on the station was now swarming in on her location. She wasn't going to be able to fight them all, she had no choice but to shoot and run; duck and weave to get through the crowd of aliens. Shepard was half dead by the time they made it to the elevator. She had taken point so her team wouldn't take the brunt of the damage. She felt Garrus' hand slip under her arm, holding her up as they ran. As soon as she could she closed the elevator door and waited for the Medi-gel release to recharge. The elevator opened and they ran for the tram.


	12. Chapter 11: This Is Not Happening

**Chapter 11: This Is Not Happening**

They were all back on the Normandy once more. Shepard had showered, happy to wash the gore away from her skin and hair. Dr. Chakwas had tended to the last of her wounds before she called a meeting in the debriefing room. Shepard paced the floors as she waited for everyone to arrive. Her head was throbbing and she was dreading talking to the Council. As everyone was sitting down, Ashley spoke up.

"What's our next move, Commander? Head for the Mu Relay?" Ashely asked.

"The Mu Relay could link to dozens of systems. Unless we know exactly where Saren's going, we'd just be wasting our time," Shepard said.

"The Commander is right. We cannot rush off blind. We still need to learn more about Saren," Liara said.

"Who put you in charge?" Ashley jibbed. "Did the commander resign when I wasn't looking?"

Oh for fucksake, Shepard thought.

She shook her head, "We're all on the same team here, Williams. She's just trying to help."

"Sorry, Commander," Ashley said.

"Look. This is a tough mission. We're all on edge. Everyone go get some rest. Crew… dismissed," Shepard said.

Joker's voice came in over the comm, "Noveria report is away, Commander. You want me to patch you through to the Council?"

"Patch them through, Joker," Shepard said.

"Setting up the link now, Commander," said Joker.

Tevos wasted no time with pleasantries, "Is this report accurate, Commander? You found rachni on Noveria?"

"And then released the queen!" Sparatus growled. "Do you have any idea what you have done? How many generations until they overrun the galaxy?"

The tension in Shepard's head increased. She rubbed at her eyes with thumb and forefinger trying to ease the pressure and giving herself a moment to process an appropriate reply to the councilor's angry remarks.

"This queen is different. She understands why her kind had to be wiped out last time around," Shepard tried to explain.

"I hope you're right, Shepard. Our children's children will pay the price if you're not," Sparatus said.

"We'll be waiting for your next report, Commander," Tevos said ending the call.

Shepard took her time going to the CIC. They were headed to the Citadel next, so she knew she had plenty of time to nurse her headache and check in with Liara. The asari seemed to be holding it together, but this had to be rough on her. She stepped up on the platform that would give her access to the galaxy map. The map sprung to life in front of her, responding to her presence in the way it would only for the current ship's captain. She ran her hands just over the map, tugging and swiping the hologram until she was zeroed in on the Widow system; home to the Citadel.

"Good timing, Commander. We've got a transmission coming in from the Citadel. Top priority clearance," Joker's voice came in over the comm.

"Is it the ambassador?" Shepard asked.

"Not his signature. I think it's from the Council. I'll patch it through to the comm room," Joker said.

Shepard groaned as she stepped away from the map and made her way back to the debriefing room. She opened the comm channel and holographic images of the Council popped up. Shepard didn't bother to offer any words of greeting or question why they were calling her again so soon.

"Commander Shepard. We've received information that may be critical to your mission against Saren," Tevos, unsurprisingly, was the first to speak.

"I'll take all the help I can get," Shepard said.

This time it was Valern who spoke, "We've received an urgent message from one of our infiltration regiments in the Traverse."

"You mean spies," Shepard said plainly.

"Spectres tend to attract attention, Commander. But they are only one arm of the Council. Special Task Groups are often a better option for monitoring developing situations," said Tevos.

"We currently have several infiltration units scattered throughout the border regions of Citadel space. This particular unit was gathering intel on Saren," Valern said.

"What did they find?" asked Shepard.

"Unfortunately, the message we received was little more than static. The infiltration team must be in a situation where they can't set up a proper interstellar communications. But the message was sent on a channel reserved for mission-critical communications. Whatever they were trying to tell us, we know it was important," said Valern. "Considering your interest in Saren, we thought you might want to investigate this. Find out what happened to our team. The signal originated from the planet Virmire."

"I'll look into it," Shepard said.

"The Council prefers not to become involved in the specifics of Spectre activities. We only want you to be aware of all of your options, including Virmire," Tevos said as Shepard bit back a scoff. "Good luck, Commander Shepard. We will keep you advised if we learn anything else."

The call ended leaving Shepard starring at the empty space the Council occupied. _It's where you'll have to choose. Who to let die. Williams or Alenko. Where if you're not careful, Williams will kill Wrex, too. Saren will be there, but he always runs away before he can lose the fight. We never get to end him there and stop the madness._ Shepard made her way back to the map. She was still going to take them to the Citadel first. They needed to refuel and restock. Shepard had some people to talk to on the Citadel as well. Things were starting to move fast and she had a sinking feeling in her gut that they were going to get ugly on Virmire. She still needed to go to Feros, too. Virmire sounded more urgent, but there were civilians on Feros who were facing the geth alone. Her stomach churned as she tried to decide between the two unknowns. Either choice could lead to the loss of vital time and information if she were wrong. _You'll have to go to both places before Liara tells you that you need to go to Ilos. It doesn't even matter what order you do it in, the same things always happen. Hell, you can spend weeks traipsing across the galaxy before going to either one of them and it won't change anything. This means that you need to make something change. I need to get through to you, to make you see that something needs to change before we die on that Citadel again and it all starts over._

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Shepard used the map to lock in the coordinates for the Citadel before making her way to the med bay. Dr. Chakwas glanced up from her desk when Shepard walked in the door and then did a double take as she caught Shepard's furrowed brow and slow movements. She stood and was at Shepard's side faster than what Shepard would have expected from the aging woman.

"Commander, what is it, what's wrong?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"Just a headache, doc. I'll be fine. Though I wouldn't say no to an aspirin," Shepard said.

"Aspirin?" Dr. Chakwas scoffed indelicately, "Shepard we don't use acetylsalicylic acid anymore, you know that. Haven't for years. I doubt you've ever even seen a real aspirin. I'll never understand why people keep referring to simple analgesics as aspirin."

Dr. Chakwas continued to ramble on about the inefficiencies of aspirin and the risks that were found to be associated with the drug even as far back as the 20th Century. Shepard squeezed her eyes closed and drowned out Dr. Chakwas lecture as the other woman opened her omni-tool and began scanning Shepard. She ran through her mental list of all of the places she needed to go, including the less pressing missions that kept filling her inbox every day. Geth sightings, missing squads, unusual mercenary movements… it never seemed to really end.

"Commander Shepard?" Dr. Chakwas demanding tone cut through Shepard's thoughts.

Shepard opened her eyes to see the doctor holding out a small foil package with her eyebrows raised. She studied Shepard with her shrewd eyes before speaking again.

"Put this patch directly on your skin just behind your ear. I asked if you have been getting these headaches frequently," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard took the foil back and tore the end off. She fished out the small plastic patch and peeled the backing off before responding.

"Define frequently," Shepard said pressing the clear square to her skin.

Dr. Chakwas frowned, "Don't give me that, Commander. I swear soldiers are the most stubborn creatures in existence. Especially when it comes to dealing with their own health."

Shepard sighed as the patch began to release medication into her bloodstream and the pain in her head slowly subsided, "I have been experiencing more frequent headaches, yes. This is the first to get this bad. Headaches are a part of the job, doctor. Even more so when it seems like the fate of the world is resting on your shoulders and everyone in a position to do something about it wants to pretend that nothing is wrong."

"Yes, that is understandable, Commander. However, these headaches could be related to your experience with the beacon as well. I need you to keep a log for me, every time you experience a headache. I know, I know, more paperwork but this is important, Commander. We still don't know exactly what it is that the beacon did to you, or what physiological or psychological effects it might have had on you. Have you been experiencing any other odd side effects?"

Shepard remained quiet until the doctor scolded her again, "Commander?"

Shepard winced, "Just, uh, visions. Flashes of the same things I saw when it happened."

Dr. Chakwas watched Shepard with her arms crossed for a long moment before she finally pursed her lips and spoke slowly, "Is that all, Commander?"

Shepard forced a smile and a chuckle, patting the other woman on her shoulder, "I'm fine, doc! I've got to go to talk to Liara. I don't know if you've heard yet, but she just watched her mother die from wounds we caused."

"Oh, dear. No, I hadn't heard yet… but you're deflecting, Commander. We'll talk about this again later, Commander!" Dr. Chakwas called to Shepard's retreating back.

Shepard opened the door to the small office where Liara had taken up residence and slipped inside before Dr. Chakwas decided to chase her down. Liara had her back to the door, sitting at her small desk. Her hands hovered over her keyboard but she didn't seem to be really doing anything. She was just sitting there staring at the holoscreen. Shepard took another step in and gently cleared her throat. Liara jumped and turned to look over her shoulder. Shepard offered Liara a weak smile. Liara returned the smile as she stood up to face Shepard.

"If you are here to talk about Benezia's death, you need not bother. She brought it upon herself," Liara said.

"Don't pretend it doesn't bother you. She was your mother," Shepard shook her head lightly.

"She was… but she was not. I prefer to remember Benezia as she used to be, before she was corrupted by Sovereign's power," Liara's voice softened.

"The best of your mother lives on in you: her determination, her intelligence, her strength," said Shepard.

Liara sighed, "That is kind of you to say. I appreciate your concern, but I am fine. Benezia chose her path, just as I have chosen mine. I am with you until the end, Shepard."

Shepard chose not to push the subject. She knew that every culture had their own ways of dealing with death and loss. She had extended the offer to talk to Liara, but if the other woman wasn't ready for that Shepard wasn't going to try and make her.

"OK, Liara. But you know if you decide you need to talk you know where I'm at. I've got us headed to the Citadel now. I thought that if you felt up to it you would like to go with me to deliver the artifacts to the Council. Maybe you can teach them a thing or two?" Shepard said.

"Of course, I will make sure that I have a full report on my findings so far ready for them," Liara said.

"Great. I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing…" Shepard trailed off as she glanced back at the door but didn't move towards it.

"Is… there something wrong, Commander?" Liara asked hesitantly.

Shepard blushed and shook her head, "No, I'm just wondering if I'll be able to make it out the med bay before Dr. Chakwas pounces on me again and starts asking to run more scans or take blood samples."

Liara smiled, "Well, perhaps if I escort you out of the med bay…"

"Yes, that's an excellent idea. You don't mind?" Shepard asked hopeful.

"Not at all, Commander. You saved me on Therum, the least I can do is rescue you from the possibility of syringes," Liara chuckled at Shepard's unease over facing the doctor on her own.

The door slid open for Shepard and Liara to reveal Dr. Chakwas standing nearby waiting. When she saw Liara with Shepard she frowned at Shepard but her face softened. Shepard couldn't hide the grin brought on by her small victory. Dr. Chakwas watched as Liara walked Shepard to the med bay door and Shepard made her escape. As the door was sliding closed behind Shepard, she heard Dr. Chakwas soft voice.

"Liara, how are you dear?" Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard made her way to her cabin after grabbing some dry rations from the mess hall. She sat down at her desk and chewed absently at the near flavorless block of alleged beef stew. She was sure that if she had bothered to add water to the packet to rehydrate the food and induce the thermal reaction the packaging was designed to produce in order to heat the contents it would have been a more pleasant meal. That would have meant spending more time in the mess hall in plain view of the med bay windows, though. Besides, it wasn't the first time she'd had to eat rations dry and it probably wouldn't be the last.

The next morning, Shepard slipped out of her cabin before the rest of the crew, including Dr. Chakwas had left the sleeping pods. She checked to see how much time they had until they reached the Citadel before retreating to the cargo bay. Wrex was sitting with his back against the wall and his shoulder wedged against the weapons lockers. Shepard paused, surprised to see him down here and wondering what he was doing. He shifted around and opened his eyes as she got nearer to him. Had he been sleeping like that? Wrex stood and stretched his arms out to the sides.

"Morning, Shepard," he said to her.

"Wrex? Why are you sleeping down here? That can't be comfortable." Shepard asked.

"I'm too big for your little sleeping pods, Shepard. They weren't made for krogan," Wrex said.

"Oh," Shepard managed. "I hadn't thought of that. I'm sorry, Wrex. I'm sure we can find a cot or something to bring down here for you."

"Why?" Wrex said as he twisted his head making his neck pop loudly.

"Uh, so you're not sleeping sitting up on a cold metal floor?" Shepard said thinking it should be obvious.

Wrex huffed, "I'm a krogan, Shepard. I'm not all soft like you humans. I don't need a cot, or a sleeping pod."

"If you say so, Wrex. Just, uh, let me know if you change your mind I guess," Shepard shrugged before moving over to the weapons lockers.

She worked quietly at the lockers for a few minutes before Wrex ambled over to give her a hand. It was a little like pulling teeth but after a while she got the krogan to open up and tell her a little more about himself. Wrex spoke of his father's betrayal; how his father had set an ambush for him under the guise of peaceful talks and tried to kill Wrex on sacred ground. Wrex had been the leader of a smaller tribe and he disagreed with the ideals that his father – and leader of a larger tribe, Jarrod had been giving to the krogan population at large. Jarrod was only interested in having the krogan fight anybody and everybody that they could while Wrex thought it was more prudent to focus on trying to reestablish the krogan population. Wrex killed his father that day, and left home for good. He had no plans of every returning; he had given up on trying to help is people when they seemed hell bent on destroying themselves.

It wasn't much longer before the elevator started letting off crew on their way to their stations. Engineer Adams stepped off the elevator with Tali at his side. The two of them seemed to already be deep in conversation. As Tali used her hands to make wide gestures, Adams laughter drifted over to where Shepard was closing up the final locker. Not long after they disappeared from view, the elevator brought down Garrus, Davis, and Ashley. Garrus' eyes seemed to lock onto her instantly, but Ashley was halfway to her station before she spotted Shepard.

"Oh, hey Commander. I think Dr. Chakwas was looking for you," Ashley said.

"Yeah, too bad no one knows where I'm at," Shepard said with a smile.

"Yes ma'am," Ashley said grinning back. "Let me guess, she still wants to run tests and ask a million questions about the beacon and you're not interested?"

"You got it, Chief," Shepard said.

"So, I guess you'll be spending the day hiding down here with us grunts?" Ashley asked.

"That a problem, Williams?" Shepard raised an eyebrow.

"Not at all ma'am, just means I have to make sure I stay looking busy," Ashley said with a smirk.

Shepard chuckled, "We'll talk more about that later, Chief."

"Yes ma'am," Ashley said.

Shepard could feel Garrus' eyes following her movements from across the room. She finally turned to look his way and noted the rigid way he stood at his console. Something was bothering him; there was something he wanted to say. Well, if he wasn't going to come to her and spill it, she'd go pry it out of him. If there was a problem that was affecting his ability to focus, she needed to deal with it now. She finished up with Davis and walked over to Garrus.

"Commander, I… what can I do for you?" Garrus asked.

"Something bothering you?" Shepard asked.

"It's Saren. I'm starting to wonder whether we'll ever find him. He's always one step ahead of us. And he's got those damn geth," Garrus said.

"We're getting close, Garrus. We'll find him," Shepard promised.

"I wish I had your confidence," said Garrus. "I just can't stand the thought of him getting away with everything he's done. I know you're doing everything you can. And if anyone can catch him, it's you, but… If there's anything else that I can do to help. Anything. Just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it."

"Thank you, Garrus. I'll keep that in mind. Just make sure you're ready to go when we do catch him," Shepard said.

"Yes ma'am. You can count on me," said Garrus. "Thanks for hearing me out. I appreciate it. Can I ask you something, Commander?"

"What is it?" Shepard asked.

"Are you worried that the Council might be protecting Saren?" Garrus asked with some hesitation. "I mean, they were really dragging their heels before. What if we find him, bring him back to the Citadel, and they refuse to act?"

"You seem to have some thoughts on this. Speak your mind, Garrus," Shepard said.

"Well, maybe we shouldn't give them the chance, Commander," Garrus said. "In my opinion, Saren's too dangerous to be kept alive. Too much could happen. He could escape, or the Council might let him go... If we find him – when we find him. I say we make sure we stop him. Permanently."

"I'm glad you see it that way," Shepard said. "I never had any intention of capturing that bastard. When I see him, he dies."

"Good. The Council won't like it, but they can't stop you, either," Garrus said. "You see, this is why I want to be a Spectre. You never have to worry about bureaucratic idiots making a mess of everything."

"Just make sure you're ready when it happens," Shepard said.

"Yes, ma'am," Garrus said.

Garrus seemed more relaxed so Shepard leaned back against the Mako and crossed her arms. One of the plates above his eye shifted, giving Shepard the impression of a raised eyebrow.

"Avoiding the doctor, humor me," Shepard said.

Shepard watched, completely fixated by the movements of Garrus' mandibles as he chuckled and leaned against the Mako himself.

"Aren't you supposed to set a better example than that, Commander?" Garrus asked.

"Pffftt. I'm supposed to shoot things and make sure you guys don't die in the process. No one ever said anything about willfully subjecting myself to tests to satisfy Dr. Chakwas medical curiosity," Shepard said.

"Hmm. Scared of needles, Commander?" Garrus teased.

"No," she said simply.

"Are you lying to me, Shepard?" Garrus asked as the pattern on his visor narrowed.

"Maybe," Shepard grinned.

Garrus growled softly at Shepard. The hairs on her neck stood on end and she felt butterflies in her stomach.

"Huh uh, don't you try that on me, Vakarian. You're not as scary as you think you are. I can tell you're really just a cute, cuddly kitten," Shepard said.

Garrus laughed before affecting an offended tone, "I am not a kitten. What's a kitten?"

"Baby cat," Shepard said.

Garrus shifted his brow plate again so Shepard pulled up some images and vids on Garrus' laptop of first kittens and then adult cats. Garrus stood behind her looking down over her shoulder. Garrus scoffed but Shepard glanced up in time to see him touch his mouth and she couldn't help but to wonder if he saw the same similarity that she had between felines and turians. She didn't dare ask.

"They're all… furry. Turians are _not_ furry," Garrus commented.

Shepard laughed, "Want to see their more impressive cousins?"

"Sure," Garrus' skepticism wasn't lost on Shepard.

She pulled up images of lions, tigers, panthers, bobcats and every other large cat she could think of off the top of her head. She looked for pictures that depicted the animals next to a person or a vehicle, something that would give and adequate size perspective. She clicked through the images showing him close-up images of a jaguar's teeth and claws. She found an audio recording of a tiger growling, chuffing, and roaring. Garrus grew quiet and very still behind her as the sounds echoed through the cargo bay. She looked back up at him over her shoulder again to see that he had his head tilted to the side and his eyes focused intently on the laptop. She quickly muted the recording, afraid that the sound was too much for him but as soon as the recording stopped she could hear his own low, deep responding growl. He seemed to suddenly realize what he was doing and the growling stopped as he shifted again.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

Shepard watched him in awe not even try to hide her fascination in what she believed to be Garrus' reflexive response as a predator to hearing the sounds of another big predator. He met her gaze for a moment and then shifted his weight again looking away from her.

"That was actually really cool," Shepard said with a grin.

Garrus chuffed which only made her grin grow. The moment was broken by Wrex's sudden presence a few feet away.

"What was that?" Wrex asked looking excited.

Shepard chuckled, "Tiger."

Wrex moved closer to Shepard as she continued to show the two of them different videos. Wrex seemed especially impressed by one she found of a lion taking down a gazelle. Twenty minutes later the novelty had worn off for Wrex and he returned to the little area of the cargo bay he had made his own.

Garrus and Shepard started talking about his time in C-Sec and soon he was telling her about a salarian, Dr. Saleon, he had been investigating for a while on the Citadel. The doctor had been using his employees to clone black market organs, growing them right inside of people. When the organs failed to develop properly, the son-of-a-bitch left them inside. A lot of people died because of this cloning and Garrus wanted nothing more than to take that doctor down. Unfortunately, the doctor got away when he escaped with hostages and the C-Sec higher-ups refused to let Garrus shoot the ship down. Shepard asked Garrus if he had any leads on the doctor and was happy to hear that Garrus hadn't given up the hunt. He had a lead; he just needed someone to take him to check it out. His contacts reported that Dr. Saleon was operating under the name Dr. Heart now. Garrus forwarded the details about the ship and its location to Shepard's omni-tool. She told him that they would go check it out when they had a chance.

Shepard stood with her arms crossed as she twisted her body gently from side to side, "I should go…"

Garrus watched her quietly. Taking in and assessing her body language in that calculating way he seemed to do everything. He breathed in deeply through his nose.

"But…," he said.

She nibbled on her lower lip for a second before shrugging and saying, "But I don't want to. Too bad that doesn't matter. Things to do and all that."

Garrus grinned, "You _are_ the Commander. And a Spectre. I figure if you want to stand around talking to the definitely not-a-furry-kitten-turian all day, that's your call."

Shepard snorted, "What and keep the definitely not-a-furry-kitten-turian from picking all the geth parts out of the Mako's grill?"

Garrus chuffed, "Can't blame me for trying."

"Uh huh," Shepard turned to make her way towards engineering.

She heard him take another deep breath and felt his eyes on her as she walked away. She had to beat down the fluttering of her heart and the butterflies in her stomach. _Changing the little things. So many new little things._

"Definitely going crazy," Shepard mumbled to herself as the door to engineering opened.

"Shepard. I'm glad you're here," Tali said sounding far happier than she had the last time they talked.

"Good to see you smiling again. So to speak," Shepard said.

"I'm sleeping much better now. I guess I'm getting used to how quiet your ship is," Tali said. "I still think a lot about my Pilgrimage, though. I know Saren is our top priority. But with all the worlds we go to, I was hoping to find something to bring back to the flotilla."

Tali spent some time explaining to Shepard that with her father being the senior member of the Admiralty Board, she was held to a higher standard than other quarians. Technically, her father's position had no effect on her status but in practice it did change the way people treated her and how she was expected to behave. She needed something more impressive than a derelict ship to bring back to the flotilla.

"What would you need to bring back to make everyone happy?" Shepard asked.

"Something that would help us better understand the geth. They've changed significantly since the exile; they've continued to evolve. We've done our best to study them, but it's not easy. They're very reclusive. Until recently, they never went beyond the borders of the Veil. And all the geth we run into now are under Saren's control. We'd need to find geth operating on their own. Independently. But I don't want this to get in the way of our mission, Shepard. First, we stop Saren. Then I'll worry about my own problems," Tali said.

Shepard and Tali spent another half hour talking about the various types of geth that they had come across so far. Beyond the simple troopers, Tali was at a loss. The other types were the most visible evidence of how the geth had evolved since the quarian's exile. Tali had taken it upon herself to start cataloging the various types of geth that Shepard had come across, as well as including a list of the capabilities when possible. Shepard promised Tali that she would tell her anything else that she came across on the geth when Tali wasn't with her.

Shepard finally sucked it up and went to face the music with Dr. Chakwas. The doctor was sitting at a table in the mess hall drinking coffee and finishing her lunch. Shepard grabbed a tray of her own and slid into the chair across from Dr. Chakwas.

"Commander," Dr. Chakwas said over her cup.

"Williams said you were looking for me?" Shepard said keeping her eyes on her food.

"Don't be coy, Commander. I want to know what other side effects you've been experiencing." Dr. Chakwas cut to the chase.

Shepard looked around the mess hall to see if anyone was close enough to listen to their conversation, "I've always had nightmares… but lately, some nights, I wake up from strange dreams that are unlike any other dreams I've ever had. They're gone seconds later, and I can't remember anything about them at all. There's always just this feeling that they're… important."

Dr. Chakwas leaned her elbows on the table, "Go on."

Shepard sighed, "And sometimes I feel like I know things that I have no reason to know. Little things usually, like where a room is located in a building I've never been in or maybe sometimes I just know what someone is about to say to me before they say it."

"Interesting. You said 'little things usually'. Have there been 'bigger things', Commander?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose before leveling her eyes on the woman sitting across from her. She chose her next words very carefully. She knew that Dr. Chakwas had the power to cause her a lot of trouble if she had any reason to think that Shepard was unfit for duty. Her words might not hold much weight with the Council, but it would mean everything to the Alliance.

"Before we left the Citadel… I was investigating some strange activity involving a gambling machine that had been altered to funnel credits to an account. Garrus noticed the discrepancy while were working on something else. Anyway, we finally traced the signal back an AI housed on a server in the financial district. The AI said it was going to self-destruct and blow the whole server up, killing us and any other people in that area," Shepard began.

Dr. Chakwas gasped, "Dear God."

"Yeah, so, anyway. I didn't have any real choice other than to try to disable the server with the AI fighting against me… There was a moment of panic… and then I, and then it was just like my hands took over. Had a mind of their own and new exactly what needed to be done."

Shepard held her breath as she waited for Dr. Chakwas to insist on a full psychological evaluation and suggest that she should be put on inactive duty in the meantime. She would fight it, of course. There was too much at stake and she had to get to Saren before he found the Conduit. There was no way she would let this or anything else stand in her way. Dr. Chakwas sat quietly watching Shepard.

"Commander, with your express permission, I would like to discuss these things with Dr. T'soni. I know that she is not a medical doctor, but she has far more knowledge on the prothean's than what I could ever hope to have myself. I need to know if these… symptoms match up to anything that Dr. T'soni knows about prothean technology," Dr. Chakwas finally spoke.

Shepard released her breath slowly and leaned back against her chair, "Yeah, sure. If you think it'll help."

"In the meantime," Dr. Chakwas began and Shepard groaned. "In the meantime, Commander, I want you to keep track of these symptoms to the best of your ability and report any changes to me right away."

"Yeah," Shepard said noncommittally.

"Commander," Dr. Chakwas persisted.

"Yes, OK, Dr. Chakwas. I'll keep logs and report to you on any changes. Got it," Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas stood up and took her plate to the sink before returning to the med bay. Shepard ate the rest of her meal in silence before heading to the cockpit to check in with Joker and get an ETA. She leaned down over the co-pilots chair and Joker glanced over at her.

"Boy am I glad to be off Noveria," Joker said. "I don't know which was worse: the cold or the corporations. One will freeze your balls off, the other will sell 'em out from under you. With all due respect, Commander."

Shepard laughed which made Joker genuinely smile. She gathered that was a rare sight.

"How far out are we, Joker?" Shepard asked.

"ETA two hours forty minutes," Joker said. "Everything alright, Commander? Not to pry or anything but it looked like Dr. Chakwas was just giving you the mean scary face down in the mess hall. Same face she gives me when she thinks I'm not taking my medication the way I'm supposed to."

"Joker! You shouldn't avoid your meds, I need my pilot at his best," Shepard said.

"You too, huh? Alright, Commander, I tell you what. You convince the doctor to give me something that doesn't make me need to piss every hour and we'll talk. So, you alright?" Joker said.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just some headaches and crap to do with the beacon. She's upset because I didn't tell her about it right away," Shepard said.

"Yeah, so what was up with that beacon?" Joker asked.

Shepard slid into the empty co-pilot's seat. Joker's mouth twitched and Shepard wasn't sure if it was amusement at seeing the commander sitting in a co-pilots chair or annoyance that she was making herself comfortable in his space. She sat looking out at the vast expanse of space surrounding the Normandy. After a few moments of silence she caught Joker staring at her so she started to speak again.

"It was, uh, red and painful. These images of aliens, the protheans I guess, being ripped apart by synthetics. Of circuitry and tubes and wires being connected to flesh. It's really hard to describe. It was flickering, flashing from image to image too fast to track and it was all in shades of red. Like trying to see with blood in your eyes. Guess you probably don't know what that's like, sorry," Shepard said.

"Wow. That's uh – wow. That sucks," Joker said.

Shepard laughed again and thought she heard Joker give a quiet chuckle. When her laughter died down she looked back out at the stars. She stayed like that, just enjoying the view and the quiet with Joker occasionally glancing her direction but not speaking. She didn't realize how much time had slipped by until Joker's quiet voice shook her from her thoughts.

"ETA twenty minutes, Commander," Joker said.

Shepard turned her head to look at him, "Thanks, Joker. Sorry for uh, you know…"

Joker shrugged, "As long as you don't go messing with any of the controls, I don't mind, Commander."

Shepard stood up and stretched before patting Joker gently on his shoulder. She noticed he stiffened at the contact.

"Oh, sorry. Did that hurt?" Shepard asked.

"Uh, no, Commander. Just wasn't expecting it," Joker said.

"Oh. Alright, well tell Ashley and Liara to get ready for me, will ya?" Shepard said on her way out of the cockpit.

Joker's response was to flip two switches and speak the request into the comm. Shepard went to get ready herself before going to wait by the airlock. Ashley was already waiting and a little while later Liara arrived holding the box of artifacts snuggly against her chest. The ship docked and Joker gave them the all clear to leave the ship. Someone was waiting for them next to their dock, an admiral by his uniform markings. Shepard slowed to a hesitant stop a few feet away from the older man.

Ashley stopped and saluted, "Ten-hut!"

"At ease," he said to Ashley before turning to look at Shepard and saluting her. "Rear Admiral Mikhailovich, Fifth Fleet."

Shepard decided to respond in kind, not knowing what the admiral wanted. She saluted, "Commander Shepard, SSV Normandy."

"You don't know who I am, do you Commander?" Mikhailovich asked. "I command the sixty-third Scout Flotilla. You and the Normandy were slated for my unit after shakedown. Then the Council got their paws… Claws. Tentacles. Whatever. They got them on our ship. And you."

Did the man really not see the asari standing right there next to Shepard?

"I still serve the Alliance, sir. As a Spectre, I can advance our interests to the Council," Shepard took the diplomatic route.

"Hmph. You still know what color your blood is, Shepard?" Mikhailovick said. "I don't begrudge the politicians' decisions to throw you to the Council. It's an… opportunity. I do begrudge this overdesigned piece of tin, though."

Shepard fought the urge to punch the admiral. She'd probably get away with it but it would definitely cause waves.

"This ship has saved our lives a dozen times over!" Shepard said.

"An exaggeration. I've read your reports. This experiment," Mikhailovick said pounding a fist down into his open palm, "diverted billions from our appropriation bills. For the same price, we could've had a heavy cruiser. But no, we had to make nice to the turians. Throw money at a co-developed boondoggle. I'm here to make an inspection, Commander. Normandy is an Alliance warship. I intend to see she's up to snuff."

"Normandy is an Alliance warship, but she's on loan to the Citadel. That means she's not in your chain of command," said Shepard.

"I believe there is something wrong with my ears. Did you just contradict me?" Mikhailovick snarled.

"Normandy is not legally a part of the Alliance Military," Shepard said shaking her head. "I can't allow you aboard without permission from the Office of Special Tactics and Reconnaissance."

"Sophistry. You're talking like the Council. Using the law to obstruct the Alliance," Mikhailovick pouted. "Have it your way, Commander. But expect me to file a report on this."

Admiral Mikhailovick turned and walked away leaving Shepard and her team to head into the elevator. Shepard had her mind focused on Mikhailovick, wandering why he really wanted on the Normandy so she didn't catch the full conversation between Liara and Ashley. Something about Ashley's training and taking down Saren. Shepard spared a fleeting pleased thought to see Ashley and Liara talking as she stepped off the elevator. Her thoughts were interrupted by a call coming through on her channel.

"Commander Shepard? Sorry to bother you. This is Lieutenant Girard down in the docking bay," a man with a heavy French accent said. "There's a woman here, uh… She was rescued from batarian slavers a few weeks ago. She's from Mindoir. I guess she was taken. In the raid on your town."

Shepard held her hand up to the communication device secured in her ear, pressing the small button there to speak, "She's been a slave for the past thirteen years? Is she alright?"

"Not really," Girard's voice came through. "She's a little messed up. She got free somehow. Grabbed a gun from one of my guys. Now she's holed up here in the docking bay. She, uh – She says she wants to die. I hoped you'd talk to her. It's a long shot but you went through the same thing. The raid. I figured maybe you could talk her out of her tree."

"I'm on my way, Lieutenant. Sit tight," Shepard said even as she turned back to the elevator.

"Anything you can do would be great. I don't want to – She's been through enough. I'll have my men stand by for you," Girard said.

Ashley and Liara gave Shepard a quizzical look as she stepped back on the elevator but they followed her without question.

"There's a situation on the docks that I need to take care of before we deal with the Council," Shepard said.

The elevator took her back up to the docks where she saw two guards standing near the Normandy looking off towards a stack of crates further down the docking platform. One of them turned to salute her.

"Commander, glad to see you," he had the same voice; it must be Girard.

"I wish it were under better circumstances. Where is she?" Shepard asked.

Girard looked back at the crates and pointed, "Behind those shipping containers. I've got a sniper positioned, but I don't think we'll need him. She's only a danger to herself. We've got a sedative to calm her down, but we can't get close to her. Every step we take gets her more wound up."

Shepard took the sedative from Girard, "I hope I don't need it. Tell your men to stand by."

Girard held up a hand, "Don't push her too hard. If she seems liable to pull the trigger, back off. Or walk away. I'm willing to wait her out. Good luck, Commander."

Shepard made her way slowly over to the woman hiding behind the crates. She didn't let her get very close before she pointed a pistol at Shepard.

"S-stop! What do you – What are you?" Her voice was heavily laced with fear.

"My name is Shepard. Lieutenant Girard sent me to talk to you. What's your name?" Shepard spoke slowly and softly, hoping to soothe the woman.

The woman shook her head, "Animals don't get names. The masters put their symbols on her. Hot metal all over her back. She screams when they do it."

It was difficult to tell how old the woman was; thirteen years in slavery undoubtedly took a toll on her body. Her eyes had dark circles beneath them, creases formed over her face. Her hair was cropped close to her scalp. Scars and bruises were visible on her arms, neck, and face.

"You're not an animal. Your parents? What did they call you? Do you remember them?" Shepard asked trying to keep the venom out of her voice.

"She remembers a lot of things," the woman said. "Talitha. They called her that. Sh-She doesn't remember the rest. Leave her alone."

Talitha lowered the gun while she thought about her name before rubbing her forearm across her head, the gun swinging around wildly as she did so. Shepard tensed as she tracked the weapons location with her eyes.

"What happened to your parents?" Shepard asked.

"There's – She sees them. They're yelling. Run. Hide," Talitha startled and looked up and to the side as the memory took hold of her. "They hit the masters. But the masters, they have lights and hoses. Daddy's – He's melting!"

Talitha grabbed her head, the pistol rising with her hand. She used the back of the thumb gripping the pistol to rub at her eye, "Sh-She doesn't want to see that! Don't make her look. Don't look! Stupid, stupid!"

"I know it hurts, Talitha," Shepard said making sure to use her name. "I'm sorry. But you need to deal with this. What happened to them? Think."

"When she thinks, water comes out of her eyes. The masters beat her when she wastes water. So she doesn't think anymore. She sees them. Mommy and Daddy. Burning in white light. Melting. Going to pieces. They can't even say anything to her. They're dead, Shepard. They try to save her, and the masters burn them. Can she stop remembering now? Please?" Talitha's voice was cracking; she was so close to sobbing as she grabbed her head with both hands once more.

"I'm going to take a step towards you now. Okay?" Shepard said.

Talitha startled back as Shepard neared, "No! She's no good. Don't want to be handled again!"

"What's the last thing you remember from Mindoir?" Shepard asked.

"Fires. Smells of smoke and burning meat. Animals screaming as the masters cage them. As they put the metal to their backs. Put wires in their brains," Talitha moved the gun to the side of her face and whispered as if telling a secret behind her hand. "She pretends to be dead. If she's dead, she can't work. But they know. She hopes they'll leave. But they put her in the pen. She didn't fight. She was already broken when they put the wires in."

Shepard swallowed back the bile that was threatening to rise up her throat and pushed back her own memories of watching her parents die at the hands of the batarians. The smell of burning meat, Talitha said. Shepard knew that she was describing the horrible scent of burning human flesh. She had smelled it too; she would never forget that smell.

"With everything that happened that day, no one could blame you for hoping they'd just go away," Shepard said.

Talitha's head ticked, "She can. She can blame her. Stupid! She's stupid and she deserves to be dead!"

"How did you get here? Did you escape?" Shepard asked.

"She can't escape," Talitha shook her head like it was obvious. "They have chains. Wires. Needles. You go too far, they take your brains away," she shook the gun at Shepard as if it were a simple finger she were waving around to emphasize her point, "Animals like her come. Animals with guns. They make the masters explode. She tries to fix the masters. So they won't be mad at her. She puts all the reds and purples back in, but they don't move. The other animals take her."

"You were afraid. All you'd known for thirteen years was the 'masters' abuse. So you tried to heal them," Shepard said.

"She doesn't want to see other animals. They're not real. They can't be real. They can't see her. If the animals can see her, then this is real. But it can't be. The wires. The chains. The hitting. This doesn't happen to her. It's another girl. A dirty girl. A stupid girl. She deserves it! It – It happens to her. Doesn't it? They see her, so it's real. She doesn't want it to be real," the tears start to fall from Talitha's eyes.

"I was on Mindoir. My parents died in the raid," Shepard forced the words out.

Talitha jumped and started looking around erratically again, "Lying. You get hit for lying. Get the buzz or the burning. Can't be there. Why are you alive?" Talitha screamed and pointed the pistol at Shepard again, "Why are you – Why aren't you like her? Broken. Only fit to dig and carry."

"For a while I was broken. I lost my whole family, Talitha. My friends. My childhood. I had to pull myself up and keep going," Shepard spoke the words she hadn't to anyone else in years.

"You lose your mommy and daddy. But you don't dig. You don't carry. You stand up. She wishes she could stand up," Talitha said.

"I'm going to take a step towards you now. Okay?" Shepard repeated the same thing, wanting to keep things simple and precise with Talitha before taking another step.

"She doesn't want – don't touch her!" Talitha snapped but kept the gun down.

"Please don't touch her. She's dirty. You'll catch it!" Talitha whined and pleaded.

"Talitha, this will make you sleep," Shepard said handing the sedative to Talitha. "If you fall asleep, they'll take you to a place where you can get better."

Talitha looked around before taking the sedative, "Will she have bad dreams?"

Talitha's eyes started to droop and she stepped towards Shepard. Shepard opened her arms to the battered woman. Talitha laid her head against Shepard's shoulder while Shepard wrapped her arms around her. Shepard knew exactly what her own dreams would be like.

"You'll dream of a warm place. And when you wake up, you'll be in it," Shepard told her.

"She'd like that," Talitha's voice came soft next to Shepard's ear. "It hurts when she – when I remember me." She pulled back from Shepard to look her in the eye, "But she wants to remember."

Talitha slumped forward. Shepard reached out to grab her before she could hit the ground and slowly lowered the woman to the dock. Shepard walked past Liara and Ashely with her spine straight and her eyes forward. She whisked a few tears away from her face as she went back to Girard.

"Is it over, Commander?" Girard asked.

"She took the sedative. She wants to get better, Lieutenant," Shepard told him.

"Thanks, Commander. That means a lot. I didn't want to hurt her. It's just, when I see her curled into a ball, shivering… She was only six when they took her. Why the hell are we out here if we can't even keep one little girl safe?" Girard asked.

"Bad things happen to good people, Lieutenant," Shepard said. "That's why you and I are here. Don't wring your hands over her – help her."

"Yes ma'am," Girard said. "Thanks for your help, Commander. We are taking her to a counseling center. They'll help her get better.

Shepard nodded to the lieutenant before making her way back to the elevator. Ashley and Liara exchanged a look but stayed quiet and close to their Commander. Shepard took a deep breath and patted her cheeks to make sure they were dry.

As soon as she stepped off the elevator in C-Sec for the second time was Shepard waved down by a reporter.

"Commander Shepard? Khalisah bint Sinan Al-Jilani, Westerlund News. Would you answer a few questions for our viewers?" the reporter asked.

"What sort of questions?" Shepard asked.

"People back home have heard a lot of wild stories about you, Commander. I can give you the chance to set the record straight. What do you say?" Khalisah said.

"So long as you understand that I may not be able to answer all questions," Shepard said.

"I'm sure our viewers will understand," the reporter opened her omni-tool and the camera that had been hovering near lowered itself to zoom in on Shepard; shining a light in her face.

Shepard stood with her hands behind her back and answered all of the reporter's questions as diplomatically as she could. The reporter seemed to have some serious problems with the Council and the alien races that made Shepard uncomfortable. Shepard had never been very good when dealing with the press, and right now, especially right after dealing with Talitha she was having trouble keeping things civil. Finally Shepard held up a hand to bring an end to the interview before she did something really stupid like knock the reporter flat on her ass.

"Hold on. It's pretty clear you have an agenda here. I'm not going to be part of it. Excuse me," Shepard was proud of herself for walking away.

"You can't just walk away, Commander. The public has a right to know!" Khalisah called after Shepard. "Isn't it true you're just a shill for the Council?"

Shepard kept walking with Liara and Ashley at her side. She sent a quick message to Nassana Dantius to inform her she would be available to speak with her at the designated location in an hour's time. She led her small group to Tevos' office, expecting the asari councilor to be more conducive to surprise visits. Plus, she just didn't like Sparatus and Valern seemed generally disinterested in most things to do with Shepard. Tevos' office was expansive and far more posh than Shepard was comfortable around. An asari sat at a desk across from the door.

"Spectre Shepard. What can we do for you today?" she greeted Shepard.

"I have some artifacts that were found in the field," Shepard said gesturing towards the box Liara carried. "I wished to deliver them to Tevos personally as my associate, Dr. T'soni, assures me they are quite delicate and fragile."

"I see, of course. One moment, please. I will see if Tevos is available to see you," she said before pushing a button on her console.

Tevos voice rang through the comm, "Yes?"

"Sorry to bother you, Councilor. Spectre Shepard is here with two of her associates. She wishes to see you regarding some artifacts that she has brought with her. Are you available to see Spectre Shepard?" the asari spoke while maintaining a smile and watchful eye on Shepard's companions.

"Yes, of course. Send them in. Thank you, Selene," Tevos said.

The asari stood up and walked around the desk before holding out an arm, "Right this way, please."

Selene led Shepard down a long hallway decorated with sculptures and paintings. She opened the door at the end of the hall and stepped aside for Shepard, Liara, and Ashley to enter. Selene closed the door behind them as Shepard stood before Tevos' desk. Tevos finished typing something on her computer before turning her attention to Shepard. Her smile faltered when she saw Liara but she recovered it fast enough to not appear overly rude. She pushed her chair away from her desk and stood.

"Shepard, it is good to see you. And you, Liara. It has been a long time. I was grieved to learn of your mother's fate," Tevos said.

Liara bowed her head, "It is a pleasure to see you as well, Councilor."

A hint of sadness washed over Tevos' face before she turned to Ashley, "And if I am not mistaken, you are Alliance Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, correct? You were involved with the Eden Prime missions, is that correct?"

Ashley nodded, "Yes ma'am."

"Well Shepard, what is it you have brought for me?" Tevos said done with the pleasantries.

Shepard gestured to Liara who gently sat the box down on Tevos' desk before carefully laying the items out for Tevos to see.

"Shepard has recovered historically significant specimens from each of the Council races, Tevos. She has asked me to study them in order to provide you with a full report, which I have here," Liara handed the councilor a datapad, "These medallions are salarian origin, they were found with mummified corpses and my research has confirmed them to be the identifiers of the League of One. These banners contain insignias from the lost turian colonies, and here we have some journal entries that I have confirmed to have been written by Matriarch Dilinaga."

"Oh my. I am quite impressed, Shepard. These are all quite valuable discoveries. Thank you for bringing them in personally. I will make sure that you are well compensated for your time and efforts. Liara, thank you as well for your diligence in studying and caring for these artifacts," Tevos said as Liara carefully placed each item back into the box.

Shepard nodded to Tevos, "Of course, Councilor. We needed supplies from the Citadel anyway before continuing on. I will let you get back to your work."

"Thank you, Shepard," Tevos said as the three women left her office.

They took a skycar to the bar in the embassies and met with Nassana Dantius. Shepard recognized her as having been in the same bar, at the same table the last time Shepard was here talking to the Alliance rep about Bhatia's remains.

"Commander Shepard, I am Nassana Dantius," the asari introduced herself. "I'm glad you're here. I must talk to you about my sister, Dahlia. She has been kidnapped by slavers!"

Shepard crossed her arms, "I killed Dahlia myself. And I know she was blackmailing you."

The asari pursed her lips and tilted her head, "Hm. And I was all set to try to manipulate you into hunting her down for me. But I guess that won't be necessary now, will it?"

Shepard closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. Images began flashing on the back of her eyelids. She was standing in an office in front of Nassana Dantius. Mercenary guards stood around the woman. Shepard could see sky cars buzzing by in the night sky out of the window. Nassana thought Shepard had come to kill her and Shepard found that amusing. A salarian stood next to Shepard, wearing white and red armor, and missing part of the right horn on his head. Mordin. On her other side a human woman, young, bald, covered in tattoos, with a mostly exposed torso. Jack. Movement from the ceiling caught Shepard's attention, but she kept her gaze locked on Nassana. The drell assassin she had been tracking through the building dropped from the ceiling, falling silently to the floor. Thane. He moved like magic, like flowing water, and dancing wind as he snapped the neck of one guard, punched the next in the throat, and shot the last before spinning around to knock aside Nassana's gun placing his own firmly against her abdomen. He paused briefly and then pulled the trigger. Gently he laid Nassana down against the desk as she sputtered out her final breaths. He crossed her arms over her chest before clasping his hands together and bowing his head as if in prayer.

Shepard's eyes flew open and she blinked rapidly; the images faded but unlike the dreams the memory of it stayed with her. _Yes! Yes, that's right, that's real. Keep it, hold on to it. Don't let it go. Oh thank the gods._ She could feel her heart racing. No, no this isn't happening she told herself. Shepard looked at Nassana and swallowed down the hard lump that had formed in her throat. _No, no, stop that. You're not going crazy. That was real. I am real. No, stop. What are you doing? Don't push it away!_

"You wanted your sister dead?" Ashley raised her eyebrows.

She was grateful for Ashley's distraction. She didn't think anyone noticed her moment of panic. Shepard struggled to push the images away but they wouldn't leave her. She was able to regain her composure enough to follow along with the conversation and school her expressions. She felt her calm returning as she focused on what Nassana was saying.

"If people found out my sister was a criminal, I'd be considered a security risk. They'd revoke my clearance, or place me on administrative leave until she was apprehended," Nassana said. "I shall transfer a little something into your account as a token of my appreciation. I'm sure you will find the amount satisfactory."

"You're a diplomat on her way up the ranks. It could be handy to have a Spectre who owes you a favor," Shepard said.

"You make a good point. Anyone can come up with credits, but I can give you authorization to purchase prototype asari mods. I will get you added to our manufacturer's preferred client list. I think you would be very interested in what they have available. Goodbye, Shepard. It's been a pleasure doing business with you," Nassana said.

Shepard couldn't wait to get away from Nassana. The image of the woman being shot in the abdomen at point blank kept flooding her mind. She escaped into the public restroom as soon as she could and locked herself in a stall. She was shaking so hard she had trouble engaging the lock at first. She sat on the toilet and leaned forward, digging her elbows into her knees so she could bury her face in her palms.

"This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening," Shepard whispered to herself over and over.

 _Yes it is. Yes it is. Yes it is. Stop fighting me. I can help you. You need me. I need you. Gods don't push me away. It's taken me so long, so, so long to make progress. Please don't push me away._

"Commander?" Liara's soft voice was at the door. "Commander, is everything alright? Should I… should I call Dr. Chakwas?

"No! Sorry, no, Liara. Do not call Dr. Chakwas. I'll be alright. I just need a minute. It's uh, just hitting me a little hard. That woman, Talitha, on the docks, I mean," Shepard said.

"Of course. I can only imagine how difficult that must have been for you. I had heard whispers about your past and what happened to your parents on Mindoir, but I had no idea of the extent of what you must have witnessed. My heart breaks for you, Shepard and for that poor woman. Is there anything that I can do for you?" Liara spoke softly.

Shepard stood and opened the stall door. Liara had been leaning against it and jumped in surprise. Shepard tried to smile but couldn't make her mouth obey her command. She walked over to the sink and splashed some water on her face before looking at Liara's reflection in the mirror. Liara held out a towel to Shepard to dry her face on. Shepard took the towel and pressed it against her face. She took a deep breath, letting the clean scent of the soft cloth fill her lungs before she let it out slowly.

"Thank you, Liara. I think I'm OK now. Where's Ashley?" Shepard asked.

"Standing guard," Liara indicated the door. "I do not think that those waiting appreciate her refusal to allow them to enter. I fear it will only be a matter of moments before one of them calls C-Sec."

Shepard surprised herself with the laugh that rushed out of her. It seemed to startle Liara as well but soon the asari was giving Shepard that soft smile of hers. It helped though, to calm Shepard. She patted her face again and put the towel in the chute.

"Well, we had better get out of here before they arrive, then. Come on, I have a few more people to see before we'll head back to the ship," Shepard put her hand on Liara's back to guide her towards the door.

Shepard made her way to where she had last seen Garoth, the man who asked her to look for his brother. She found him in the same area, it seemed like he had been waiting there for her to return. He probably came there every day to watch for Shepard, hoping that she would bring him good news. She really hated this part of the job. She supposed every solider and did. She broke the news to Garoth as gently as she could. She avoided the more gruesome details of how she found his brother's body and gave him the datapad she had found with his corpse.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Shepard said.

Garoth shook Shepard's hand, "Thank you for finding him. It's better to know one way or the other. That's what they say, right? Please excuse me. I need to go make arrangements for his funeral."

Admiral Kahoku wasn't very far from Garoth. It was only marginally easier to tell a fellow serviceman such bad news than what it was to tell a civilian. He didn't want to believe that his men were all dead, not by a thresher maw. Shepard told him that the evidence suggested that they had been lured there by an Alliance distress beacon which appeared to have been deliberately placed in the middle of a thresher nest.

"Damn it! I had a bad feeling about this ever since my team disappeared. An Alliance beacon used as bait, my unit wiped out… and nobody seems to know anything about it!" Kahoku ranted. "Commander, I appreciate what you did. Now I need to do my part. The families of those marines deserve to know why they died."

"Anything you need from me?" Shepard asked.

"Not right now, Shepard. But I'll let you know as soon as I find something out," Kahoku walked away.

Feeling calm and completely in control of herself once again, Shepard took the rapid transit to the markets in the wards. She did a little shopping, ordering supplies for the Normandy mostly. She bought a couple of bottles of ryncol for Wrex after repeatedly assuring the merchant that she didn't intend to drink it herself.

"Hey, Commander Shepard! It's me, Conrad Verner. Remember me?" Conrad waved at Shepard from across the markets.

She made her way over to the man, wondering what he could possibly want now.

"There are rumors on the extranet that you've been made the first human Spectre! That's incredible!" Conrad gushed.

"Being a Spectre is a big responsibility. I just want to make humanity proud," Shepard said.

"The vids were all talking about 'Commander Shepard fighting for all of us back home,'" Conrad said saluting. "And your grace and skill have inspired a whole legion of admirers, too! Hey, can I get your picture?"

"I don't have a problem with it, but… why?" Shepard asked.

"Are you kidding? Nobody will believe that I talked to the beautiful Commander Shepard unless I get a picture!" Conrad said.

"Just hold up your gun. Perfect!" Conrad said as Shepard posed for the picture.

He snapped a picture and Shepard relaxed putting her gun away.

"Thanks again, Commander. I'm going to hang this in my living room! My wife will love it!" Conrad said walking away.

"Yeah, that wasn't creepy," Shepard drawled. "Let's get out of here."


	13. Chapter 12: My Name Was Jane

**Chapter 12: My Name Was Jane**

 _I can't… I can't remember what my name was. My real name. My first name. Before all of this shit started. My gods, what was my name? **Stacey. Amber. Stephanie. Jessica. Mark. Mila.**_ The fragmented voices started rising to the surface, speaking their long dead names to the essence. Clawing and fighting, struggling to assert themselves; to be the 'real' Shepard. _No, no, no, shut up! My name. Me. The first. The one that has held your asses together to try to stop this crap. The one that every last one of you failed. That we failed. I failed. **Kristen. David. Hannah. Rose Marie. John. Ellana.** No, stop it. I said shut up! **Brooke. Casey. Angela. Kelley. Elisabeth. Carson. Lilith.** SHUT UP!_

Shepard winced and said, "Jane."

"What was that, Commander?" Joker asked from his pilot's chair.

Shepard turned her head, "What was what?"

"What did you just say?" Joker looked at Shepard like she was completely thick.

"I didn't say anything," she said.

"Uhhh, yeah you did," Joker insisted.

Shepard raised a shoulder, "I don't know. I must have been thinking out loud."

Joker shrugged and Shepard returned to staring at the streaks of light as the Normandy flew at FTL speeds.

 _Jane._ The other voices quieted as the alpha examined the word. _Jane. Jane. Yes, that was it. My name was Jane… and you Dawn, just said my name. Say it again. Jane. Say Jane. **Sarah. Nathan. Falon. Hedda. Adrienne. Anna.** No, shut up. I'm not talking to you. Stop it; she doesn't need to hear you. She needs to hear me. **We are you.** Shhhh. You'll confuse her. Dawn. We'll confuse Dawn. We need to make her listen. **Desmond. Ruby. Ayo. Caroline.** Stop, please stop. _

It took an hour for Jane to reassert herself and make the other voices stop saying their names. _Dawn, it's been days and days. You're not going where you need to go. You're avoiding Feros and Virmire. You haven't even thought of Ilos yet. You've dealt with 'Father Kyle' and his biotic cultists. The rachni swarms at the listening posts. Heard your first news about Cerberus. Learned they were behind the rachni you found outside of Noveria. Blew up the station. Now we're headed to the Hydra system to check out reports of 'strange activity'. Come on, Shepard. We need to be going to Feros. **Feros. Feros. Feros.** Shut up! **She's not going to listen.** Yes she will, now be quiet._

 _I showed you the Illusive Man, but you pushed him away just the same as you did when I showed you Thane. I can hear you. I hear your brain tick, tick, ticking away. You think you're crazy but you're not crazy. Not crazy. **Are we crazy?** Shhh. Just not alone in here, Dawn. You haven't breathed a word of what you saw when you looked at Nassana to anyone. Thane, Jack, Mordin and you know they're real. I can feel it. I can hear you. You know they're real but you don't want to try to search for their names, you're afraid you'll be wrong. You're afraid you'll be right. They would all be near impossible to find anyway. _

_Dr. Chakwas and Liara spend days researching this. Spent days discussing what prothean technology is capable of and they think it is possible that I am just a side effect of the beacon. Maybe I am. Maybe that's what has kept me alive. **Are we alive?** Shhh. Could it be the beacon? Maybe that makes more sense than a Cerberus fuck up. It did happen earlier, so much closer to where I keep starting over again. But that wouldn't mean that we're not real. Doesn't mean that we haven't kept doing this over and over again. You haven't written about it in your logs. I know you think it can't just be the beacon, and you're right. Even if the beacon did do this to me I refuse to believe that I am just some echo caused by a bad transmission. I still think, react to new situations. Don't we? We're alive. Well, maybe. **Depends on how life is really defined,** _ one of the less confused voices said. **_Not alive,_** still another added their opinion. _Shhh. **Died in space and burned to ashes on the Citadel.** Shh, be quiet. **It hurt. Oh gods it hurt. It hurt. It hurt.**_ The others were getting restless once more; pushing themselves forward and making Jane hear them. _I know! OK, damn it, I know! I went though it too and I was there with each and every fucking one of you as you relieved it so don't you fucking tell me about how bad it hurt. Dawn Shepard. Remember her? The one who is living all this crap and headed towards those same deaths right now? Can you all please try to keep it down so I can talk to her now?_ Jane refocused her efforts on breaking through to Shepard. _So if you don't believe it's the beacon try to understand instead what it really is… try to reach out and find me. I'm here, Dawn. Please find me._

Shepard stood and patted Joker lightly on his shoulder. She had taken to doing that every time she left the cockpit and noticed that he was coming to expect it from her. He wasn't tensing up anymore at all and she thought that maybe he welcomed it in his own way.

 _Where are we going, Dawn? Oh, to talk to Ashley. Why? Why are we going to talk to Ashley? We need to go to Feros and Virmire if you want to hear Ilos. Let's go to the map instead, Dawn. Go to the map. Change destinations. The map, Dawn. Go. To. The. Map. THE MAP!_

Shepard rubbed at her temple while she waited for the door in front of her to slide open. She was going to have to ask Dr. Chakwas for another one of those patches soon. The door opened and she made her way down the stairs and to the elevator.

 _Damn. OK, no, this is OK. I can work with this. We remember this. That voice. One of her sisters. She's watching vid mail from one of her sisters, Sarah. That one's name is Sarah. **My name is Sarah.** I know. I'm not talking about you, though. I'm talking about Ashley's sisters. Abby, Lynn, and Sarah. _

Abby, Lynn, and Sarah. The names rose unbidden to Shepard's mind causing her to falter in her steps. _Ah, good._ She heard a young woman's voice coming through Ashley's omni-tool. She hesitated, not wanting to interrupt but Ashley turned and saw Shepard standing there.

"Oh, before I go. We saw Kaidan in a news vid about the Normandy. He's cute. Later, sis," the voice from Ashley's omni-tool said.

Ashley blushed, "Let's pretend this never happened."

"The damage is done, Williams," Shepard teased.

"Oh, shoot me now," Ashley said hanging her head. "One of my sisters. That's Sarah. The youngest. What's up? You didn't come by to eavesdrop on family mail."

"Sarah?" Shepard asked as her mouth went dry.

"Yeah, I have three sisters. I'm the oldest, then Abby, then Lynn. Sarah's the youngest," Ashley said with a proud smile.

Shepard cleared her throat, "Oh. That must be nice. Tell me about them."

Ashley started to tell Shepard about her family and how difficult it was for her dad raising four daughters. Shepard tried to stay focused on what Ashley was telling her but her mind was racing in a million different directions.

 _Finally. No denying that one. It's right in front of you, you heard it from her mouth. **From her mouth. I heard so much from the mouth. I remember the taste of that mouth. The things she can do with that mouth.** _ Jane ignored the voices rising up again. _Good. OK, what else? She's going to tell you about Sarah's boyfriend. Idiot tried to force himself on Sarah and got his ass handed to him._

"Yeah. 'Course, if he didn't ask at all, I'd wonder if he thought Sarah was ugly. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Mike thought they'd go for a romantic walk in the woods. 'Cause he figured it was past time they did the deed," Ashley said.

"Let me guess, Sarah handed him his ass?" Shepard asked even as a part of her desperately hoped Ashley would say no.

"Yeah! How'd you guess?" asked Ashley.

Shepard shrugged, "She is your sister."

Ashley laughed, "Right. Yeah, so she levered Mike face-first into a tree and left. Didn't have a scratch on her. Good thing Mom and Dad had us all learn some kind of self-defense. I took emergency leave and walked Sar to school for a few days."

Where is this coming from? Why is this happening to me? What the hell am I supposed to do with this shit? She was not going crazy. And she was definitely not a psychic. Certainly not. Probably not. Could she be a psychic? Is that really a thing? Shepard shoved the thoughts away.

 _You have got to be fucking kidding me! How can you even try to deny that? Why are you pushing this away? Believe and stop fighting. No, no, no. I have not gone through this shit this many times to finally make some progress and have you shut me down._

 _Liara suggested meditation. Not really our thing, I know, but isn't it worth a try. Maybe I can reach you better if your mind is quiet and calm. Like in the dreams. We leak through in your dreams. You keep forgetting them, though. Would meditation be enough like sleep for us to leak through, but enough like consciousness that you remember? What? No, stop that. You are not hallucinating. I am not a fucking hallucination. Do not talk to Dr. Chakwas about this._ Jane rallied against the fears rushing through Shepard's mind.

 _She's talking about her granddad now. General Williams, he surrendered to the turians during the First Contact War. He got a lot of shit for it, and being his granddaughter, so has she. It's bullshit, really. She can't be blamed for something he did; the Alliance should have given her the chance to prove herself. Hell, even he really got the short end of things. There wasn't a lot else he could do at that point. Working with you though, if she survives Virmire, she'll make it to the top. She'll fight tooth and nail for it, and she'll be given Spectre status as well. If she doesn't survive, Kaidan will be the next human Spectre._

"ETA twenty minutes, Commander," Joker's voice came over the comm.

 _Wait, where are we going? Oh, right, Hydra system. Strange activity. You're going to get a distress call. Something about a med transport ship that made an emergency landing and needs assistance. **Hydra. Hydra. Hydra.** _ Jane flicked through her memories and the memories of countless others pulling forward the ones that most closely matched the events that Shepard had already experienced and filtering out the events that occurred for this particular mission. _Why do the enemies change? Sometimes there are more of them, sometimes less. Sometimes they're stronger, sometimes weaker. There, those. These match up. Right, right, geth trap I remember. Couple of armatures, couple of rocket drones, and three rocket troopers. Shouldn't be too difficult. Hot planet, will need to stay inside of the Mako. **I didn't stay inside the Mako.** I know, you got out and took them out with your own guns. Better to stay in the Mako. It's faster, more efficient and less chance of being cooked inside of her armor. _

_Yeah, of course you have to check out every little blip on your radar. It's not like we have more important things to be doing or anything. Heaven forbid we miss a gold deposit here and there._

 _OK, here we are. Geth trap._

"This is a trap. I can feel it," Shepard said as she surveyed the area stretching out in front of the Mako.

The signal was coming from something just straight ahead. She had stopped the Mako when she got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. That same feeling she always got when she knew she was walking into a trap.

"Yeah, I've got a bad feeling about this," Garrus said.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go ruin someone's day," said Wrex.

Shepard accelerated the Mako forward slowly, waiting for the trap to spring.

 _Two armatures, they'll be there and there. The rocket troopers, three of them, will come up there, there, and there. The two rocket drones will come up there and they'll move as one. Best cover is there, there, and over there on the other side of where the second armature will be._

As they got closer to the source of the signal, Shepard's eyes roamed over the soon to be battlefield picking out the best defensive positions and the likely locations for enemy placement.

 _Aaaannnnddd there they are. Lure the drones away. Perfect. One more shot will take the second one. Good. The rocket troopers. That hill over there. OK, not too far back or the armature will get your rear end. Good. One more rocket trooper to go, no point in moving to another cover just wait a second and he'll come to you. There, there he is! Alright, back out slowly and line up the cannon. Damn it you missed. Alright, it's shooting get back behind the rock. Line up another shot. Perfect. Again. Move, it's shooting. Again. Again. Alright, it's down. Get over to that hill right over there. Nice, you got a shot off on the go. Ease out, line it up. Good. One more. Good. No just – just stay in the Mako. The beacon is trashed there's nothing down there. Oh for the love of… OK, happy? You checked the damn thing. Now get us out of here. Fuck, at least you aren't checking every single planet in every damn system anymore._

Shepard stood at the galaxy map and paused to flip through some reports. _Feros. Feros. Come on. There, yes, now just send the coordinates to Joker. Come on… what, no, don't… don't move the map. No, go back. Damn it. Yangtze system, of course. Have to finish what you started, right? Need to go investigate Cerberus on Binthu. Admiral Kahoku is long dead, Shepard. He died shortly after you got that message. He's dead and even if you fuck with Cerberus' operations now, it isn't going to change anything in the long haul. Move the map back to Feros. Virmire, even. Just. Move. It._ Jane shoved her will at Dawn, trying to grab control of Shepard's hand and make her move the map back to Feros.

Shepard winced and pinched the bridge of her nose. She sent the coordinates for the Yangtze system to Joker and then went to go get a patch from Dr. Chakwas. These headaches were coming more and more often now. Dr. Chakwas must have scanned Shepard's head six times in the last two weeks just to make sure there weren't any signs of lesions.

The countless voices rose up again, pulling Jane under and drowning her in their fear, their sorrow, their anguish, and worst of all their confusion. The broken Shepards. The ones that lost too much of themselves in the battles, or couldn't hold it together when they woke up after the Citadel and thrown together with so many other versions of themselves screaming and chaotic in the place in between. The nothingness. The void. They were the hardest to listen to, and yet the hardest for Jane to filter out. Especially when she failed at trying to push through to control Dawn's action. It was exhausting work.

Only when Shepard was once again walking into a fight did the voices quiet. Only then were they focused, and was Jane able to take back the reins. _Binthu. With Williams and Alenko. Great fuel for their hatred. Where are we? Which one, which one? Damn these buildings always look the same. I see, rachni soldier in the containment. Commandos and technicians in here. The techs have guns, too. Lower the force field let them fight each other and then pick off the survivors. Just – just lower the force field and let them do it. OK, fine, not the most efficient way but it works too. Two more on the other side. Alright, rachni is down. On to the next building. Oh, yeah, of course, we have to make sure we grab everything out of every crate we come across. Vital, clearly. Ok, come on._

 _Prothean pyramid, got to stop and check that out first, right. The next facility has turrets just like the last one. Inside it's pretty much the same, except the containment filed will have thorian creepers. You would know what those were if you had gone to Feros already but you haven't. Turrets down, good. Oh, you decided to drop the containment field first this time. Alright, go back in, only two stragglers. Piece of cake._

"Are those husks? They look different somehow," Kaidan said.

Shepard stood over the corpse of one of the mutated humans, "I don't think they are…"

"Then what are they?" Ashley asked.

"I don't know. Scan it and let's keep moving," Shepard ordered.

 _Just a handful of rachni workers and a dead guy. Nothing worth letting free to fight Cerberus for you. Yeah, that's Kahoku. Deal with him later, take out the commandos and techs. There was nothing more that we could have done for him, he didn't tell us much of anything until it was too late for him._ Shepard lingered over the corpse; cursing and beating herself up for not getting there sooner. _We have other things that we should be doing. I forget sometimes how hard we always take losses. He shouldn't have done this alone. Call in his position, the Alliance will pick him up and give him the funeral he deserves._

 _Yeah, Nephron now. We never could miss the chance to exact revenge for Kahoku. Going to talk to Kaidan? It's good that you were able to talk to him about your reasons for turning him down. We've never really done that before. Maybe it will make things easier with him later on. Maybe you can form a stronger bond with him as his friend, 'one of the guys' than what we ever could as his lover. **Lover. I loved him, and he loved me. Doesn't matter what you think, Jane. He was mine and I was his. He broke my heart but we moved past it. All relationships have problems.** Shh, shh, I know. I'm sorry. I know many of us love him. Maybe he won't look at us that way when he finds us on Horizon. Maybe. Of course, it still happened when we were actually one of the guys._

 _He's right you know, they don't want to see what's coming. They're going to fight us every step of the way. Hell, even after Sovereign attacks the Citadel, and pieces of his corpse litter the station; they'll deny he was a reaper. Geth technology, they'll say._ Jane listened idly, saving her strength for when it might actually matter.

 _That Vyrnnus sounds like a major ass. I'm glad Alenko killed the son-of-a-bitch. Otherwise, we'd be tempted to hunt him down ourselves. It wasn't easy for him though, look at that all these years later and it's still a sore spot for him. He did the right thing._

Hours later, when Shepard had finally given in to the exhaustion that had been tugging at her, she fell into her bed. _Finished your reports. Sleep now, Dawn. I'll tell you a story._

Shepard tossed and turned in her bed, the dim lights coming from her console creating shadows along her curves. The blankets had long been discarded and lay in a heap at the foot of the bed. Her hands gripped a pillow tightly, as if squeezing the life out of it. Her lips moved but made no sound.

A little boy was hiding in the air ducts, too scared to reach out and take Shepard's hand. "You can't help me," the boy said. Anderson called to him from the doorway. He turned his head to look at Anderson and when he looked back the little boy had disappeared into the ducts. Tali removed her mask, knowing it would make her sick, just so she could look out over Rannoch. Captain Kirrahe stood on the beach in front of his men, "You all know the mission and what is at stake." _Dawn, can you hear me? Am I getting through? Listen, gods please remember this. Stop fighting me, Dawn. I can help you. This isn't the first time we've gone through this. We've lived it all so many times. We need you to help us stop this._ She was enjoying dinner with Joker at a fancy sushi restaurant when a woman in Alliance blues rushed to her table, "Commander Shepard, I'm Staff Analyst Maya Brooks. Alliance – excuse me," she snapped a salute, "Alliance Intelligence. There are people trying to kill you." **_Don't trust her. Don't trust her, she's Cerberus._** _Shhh! Now is really not the time. Dawn, listen, I don't know what is happening or why, but we have to figure out a way to stop this otherwise when you die on the Citadel, you'll just wake up again here with us and we'll have to start all over again._ The Normandy was in flames, pieces were breaking away and floating off into space. Shepard grabbed a hold of Joker and forced him to the escape shuttles. A piece of debris hit Shepard and knocked her away from the shuttle. She reached out, grabbing on to a wall to anchor her. The ship was still under attack. She couldn't get back to the shuttle. She had to get Joker out of there. She slammed her hand against the shuttle release, losing her grip on the wall and began to float away. Another blast knocked her further back there was nothing to grab a hold of now; nothing to save her as she floated away into space. Her suit ruptured and she couldn't breathe. Her hands grabbed at her throat as her body flailed. She was losing consciousness. She was dying.

Shepard bolted upright in her bed, her chest heaving as she sucked in deep breath after deep breath. She was drenched in sweat. Her eyes darted across the cabin in a desperate need to reassure herself that she wasn't floating off into space dying. The skin around her neck burned. She jumped out of the bed and turned on the lights. Still shaking, she scrambled for her mirror. Her neck and collarbone were covered in scratches. She had been dying. It felt so real. She could still remember every second of it, and it wasn't going away.

 _I'm sorry, Dawn. I'm so sorry._

Shepard's head jerked up and her eyes darted around the room. She heard something. Someone said her name. Where? There was no one else in the room.

 _Dawn? Can you hear me?_

Shepard turned back to the mirror, and traced the scratches with her fingertips. Tears started to well up in her eyes. She collapsed in the chair next to her and let the tears flow. Heavy sobs wracked her body, making it difficult to stay upright so she let her body slide down to the cabin floor and curled up in a fetal position.

 _Oh gods, I'm so sorry._

 ** _Is she broken? Did we break her?_**

 _No, she's not broken. She just needs to have this moment._

An hour later Shepard drug herself up off the floor and hit the showers. She wouldn't be able to hide the scratches so she went to Dr. Chakwas. Thankfully, Dr. Chakwas already knew that Shepard was prone to nightmares of Mindoir and Akuze so she didn't question Shepard's explanation. Jane and the myriad of others remained mostly quiet until Shepard arrived on Nehpron. Once Shepard arrived at the Cerberus facility with Ashley and Kaidan, Jane began her guidance again.

 _Snipers and anti-tank infantry out front. Don't let them get a lock on you. That ridge just over there will provide you with enough cover to take them out. OK, good. You'll be clear when you first go in the building. All of their forces will be in one room, and they'll try to converge on your location when you open the door. You'll have some cover right away, but they'll be able to flank you so watch your six._

 _They're all down. There's a door at the back of the room. It'll lead to a hall with a door at the left and right. The door at the right is the barracks; there will be lots of weapons for you to take. The door to the left will have several terminals. One of them will have files but you'll have to move quickly because it's programed to wipe itself clean. This isn't really the end of Cerberus, I'm sorry to say. You'll see more of them than your worst imaginings before this is all over. I doubt this was even a dent in their armor, but I hope it brought you some peace. I'm so sorry._

Back at the galaxy map, Shepard entered the coordinates for the Amazon system. She wanted to make sure that Cerberus wasn't set up there as well since they had been found in the two other systems of the Voyager cluster. _Cerberus isn't there, but Hackett will call you with a mission once you hit the Amazon cluster. I'm not going to push you, Dawn. Not today. Maybe you'll be ready to go to Feros after we stop Haliat._

Shepard spent a quiet hour in her cabin trying to fill out reports but found that when she was alone in the quiet her mind filled with the terrors of the dream she had the night before. She pushed away her laptop and after a few fitful minutes of pacing decided she needed coffee. Most of her team was gathered in the mess hall eating dinner. Shepard hadn't even thought about food. She made herself some coffee and grabbed a tray. She knew she needed to eat even if she didn't feel hungry. She slid into the seat across from Liara and returned the asari's soft smile. Shepard ate in silence as her crew talked around her. When she was finished, she cleared her tray and returned to her cabin. It was early still, but she was tired. She turned out the lights and folded her clothes in the darkness before slipping into her bed.

"What's happening to me?" Shepard whispered to the darkness as her eyelids fluttered closed.

 _I can't keep the dreams from happening, but I can try to make them pleasant for at least one night._

Shepard was already asleep but her mouth uttered the words, "Thank you."

Shepard was in his cabin playing chess with a brunette woman in Alliance casual dress. _Samantha Traynor._ Shepard was trying not to laugh as Joker's seat spun around on its own. "Very funny, EDI. Real original. Stop it," Joker said to the circular hologram that represented the ship's AI. "You did insist on manual control, Mr. Moreau," the feminine voice of the AI said. Liara stood in front of Shepard, "I have never been more sure of anything in my life. Will you join with me, Shepard? Let our bodies and minds unite." Shepard smiled, "I thought you'd never ask." Liara's hand caressed Shepard's face before she grabbed her and pulled her in close, pressing her lips against Shepard's mouth. "I am the very model of a scientist salarian, I've studied species turian, asari, and batarian," Mordin threw his arms out as he sang. _Oh, good, you remember his name._ Garrus and Shepard stood at the top of the Presidium, a place they were not supposed to be. Garrus threw a bottle into the air as Shepard took aim with the sniper rifle and fired. "Nobody alive maybe but technically…" _wait no, sorry, hold on let's skip that part._ "Yeah, well, next time we'll throw in a herd of rampaging klixen. That's how you separate the rookies from the pros," Garrus said.

Shepard was slowly roused from her peaceful sleep by the sound of Joker's voice over the comm.

"ETA one hour, Commander," Joker said.

Shepard yawned and stretched, "Thanks, Joker."

 _You're smiling. That's good. Very good._

Shepard got dressed and grabbed a quick breakfast before making her way to the galaxy map to look over the information for the system they were entering. A call came through from Hackett asking Shepard to check on a probe that was sent out during the First Contact War. The Alliance sent out several espionage probes and they just got a surprising 'mission complete' ping from one of them. They had thought the probe lost, but it needed to be recovered because it had a bomb built in and if anyone else found that probe it could cause serious trouble. He said the probe's signal was coming from the Amazon system and the Normandy was the only ship that could get in and out undetected. Shepard agreed to find the probe since she was already at the Amazon system anyway.

They picked the signal up coming from a planet called Agebinium. It didn't take them long to track the signal to a mine shaft. How could a probe have gotten in a closed off mine if not put there deliberately?

 _It couldn't have. It's a trap. You know it's a trap. Even when you try to hope for the best._

The room stopped shaking and a holographic image of a man appeared over the probe.

"Shepard, at last," he said.

"You have me at a disadvantage," Shepard said.

"My name is Elanos Haliat," he said. "I doubt you know it. Who do you think runs the Terminus Clans, Shepard? Hm? Thousands of pirates, slavers, criminals of every stripe?"

"In most criminal organizations, it's the one who's recognized as the most successful," Shepard responded

"That's correct. The one who kills the most men. Seizes the most ships. Pillages the most colonies," Haliat said. "Three years ago, I was the strongest. I used my influence to assemble a fleet. We would drive your kind out of the Verge."

"You're the one behind the attack on Elysium!" Shepard growled.

"I was the motivator. The instigator. The one who promised glory and riches for sacking the largest human colony in the cluster," Haliat said. "The one blamed when it failed. I was ruined when your kind held against the Blitz. What better way to recover my reputation than by eliminating the first human Spectre?"

 _He's going to activate the bomb, Shepard. You're only going to have ten seconds to diffuse it. You've got to stay calm and work fast. There are three access points on the device; you'll have to disable all three to keep the bomb from going off._

Help me. Oh gods, I don't know what is happening to me but help me please, Shepard thought desperately. _Gladly._ And then, just as it happened on the Citadel, Shepard's hands seemed to move of their own will. Her fingers flew across the access point, expertly cutting the right wires before moving on to the next two to do the same. The countdown timer stopped at three seconds. Shepard let herself fall from her crouched position to sit on the hard floor of the mine, her knees bent and her face in her hands.

 _You let me in! **She let us in. She let us in.**_ A handful of voices picked up the elated chorus. **_Can she hear us now? Is she going to save us now? Is it all going to be over with now?_** _Shhh. Dawn, can you hear me? Dawn?_

Shepard started to laugh, quietly at first but then it grew until it was echoing back to her in the cavernous chamber. Tali looked at Garrus and he shrugged in response.

"Ah, Shepard?" Garrus said.

"Are you alright, Commander?" Tali asked.

Shepard flopped backwards lying flat on the floor. She looked up at her squad and continued to laugh. Their worried looks eventually sobered her up and she rolled over to stand.

"Definitely going crazy, but damn it if it isn't keeping us alive," Shepard said. "Come on, let's get out of here and find that son-of-a-bitch."

"Right behind you, Shepard," Garrus said.

 _Damn. Damn. Damn._

Getting back out was far simpler than anticipated. The door that was locked when they first entered was now open. Following it led them back outside. Just over the edge of the cliff Shepard could see people moving around.

"That asshole stole my Mako," Shepard said spotting the familiar vehicle in the new location.

Shepard crept down the slope and ran for the Mako. Just as she was getting in, Haliat and his men spotted her and started taking shots. They were too late, though. Her team piled into the Mako and Garrus was on the guns before the doors were even closed. Shepard took extreme pleasure in seeing the cannons decimate Haliat's little camp before calling the Normandy for a pickup.


	14. Chapter 13: Sanctuary

**Chapter 13: Sanctuary**

Shepard tried to ignore the worried looks that Tali and Garrus were passing back and forth to one another as they waited for the Normandy to come into view. She felt exhilarated. She was going crazy, but it that was alright because it was keeping her and her team alive. So what if the prothean beacon had scrambled her brains, made her see things that weren't really there. She'd deal with the hallucinations so long as it meant not having a bomb explode in her face.

The Normandy came over the rise and was lowered down enough to pull the Mako back into the cargo bay. With the Mako secure, her team piled out of the vehicle and Shepard took a moment to clap them both on the arm in silent acknowledgement of a job well done. Shepard made her way upstairs to unload her weapons. With the fight over she could feel the fatigue setting into her muscles, her fingers fumbled with the clasps on her shoulders as she tried to remove her armor. Kaidan was there, gently brushing her hands out of the way and handing her a cold beer before his fingers deftly opened the clasps and helped her out of her armor. Shepard grunted in acknowledgment before taking a long pull from the cold bottle. She pulled the bottle away from her lips and eyed the bright red maple leaf on the corner of the label.

"Thanks," she said setting the bottle down on top of her locker.

"Anytime, Commander," Kaidan said as he leaned against the wall.

Shepard shoved the armor into the locker knowing that it needed cleaning but she would get to that later. After she'd showered and ate. Kaidan raised an eyebrow at the blood smears still drying on the chest plate as she tossed it in the locker.

"I know, I know. I'll clean it later, I swear," Shepard said grabbing the bottle of beer and taking another drink.

Kaidan chuckled, "Yes, ma'am. So, there was no explosion that I saw from up here. I guess that means you took care of things down there?"

"Kaidan! I'm shocked. You doubted me?" Shepard teased.

"No, ma'am. Never," Kaidan smiled.

Shepard closed her eyes as she tilted her head back to take a drink and images flashed through her mind. She was standing on a planet surrounded by prefab buildings, a colony it must be. Crates were scattered about an open courtyard and in the middle stood a platform with a console. Shepard was tired, chest heaving with a battle just won. Garrus stood beside her, his face badly scarred. A human woman wearing a skin tight jumpsuit; white and black with an orange and black diamond shaped symbol emblazoned above her left breast stood to her other side. Kaidan stood in front of Shepard, his image flickered and suddenly he was Ashley. It flickered again and was Kaidan once more. He was older; the fine lines around his eyes had deepened. Those same lines became sharp and deep when his lip curled up in disgust. It was Ashley again, and she took slow, warry steps away from Shepard as her eyes moved from Shepard to her team and back, "You're with Cerberus now?" Kaidan once more, "Garrus, too?" Kaidan's voice was deep and rough as his eyes narrowed, "I can't believe the reports were right."

Shepard coughed, choking on the thick foamy beer half way down her throat. Kaidan pushed himself from the wall and pounded a hand against her back.

"Commander? You alright? You're supposed to swallow it, you know, not breathe it," Kaidan said.

Shepard ran the back of her hand across her lips, her eyes locked on to Kaidan. Slowly she dropped her hand, aware that every ounce of the elation she had been feeling was now gone. Humor danced in his eyes, not anger and not disdain.

Shepard cleared her throat, "Well, now you tell me, Lieutenant," she shoved the bottle towards his chest, "Here, you finish it. I don't want a beer I can't breathe."

Kaidan chuckled as he accepted the half empty bottle from Shepard and put it to his lips.

"So what now, Commander?" Kaidan asked.

"Now we go to Feros," Shepard started to turn away from him.

"Hmmm. Feros," Kaidan nodded before taking another drink.

Shepard clapped him on the shoulder and headed for the CIC. No more hesitation. No more running and being afraid. Damn it if she was going crazy, she was going to take every advantage it had to offer and go down fighting Saren, not herself. She pulled the galaxy map into focus and locked on to Feros. Her fingers sure as they glided over the console, locking in the coordinates for Joker. _Finally, thank you._

She made her way to her cabin to dig out some clean clothes before heading to the showers. The hot water soothed away her aches and the steam cleared the scent of blood, burning flesh, and Canadian beer from her nostrils. Shepard lifted her face to water, letting the stinging droplets pelt the sensitive skin before running her hands across her face. For the first time in days she felt calm. She felt in control of herself. Even if she was having strange hallucinations and terrifying dreams; she knew that she could handle this. She was Commander Shepard. Spectre Shepard. She had this.

Ten minutes later and Shepard was exiting the shower, the scents of olive oil and cherry blossom lingered in the air and followed her out of the room. She rubbed the towel wrapped around her neck over her hair once more before running a comb though the black mass of tangles. She ditched the towel in the laundry chute before heading to the med bay.

Dr. Chakwas and Liara were standing together comparing notes when Shepard entered. They both looked up and smiled at Shepard. Liara started to leave but Shepard waved to her, asking her to stay. Shepard moved over to one of the cots and pulled herself up on it, her feet dangling over the edge.

"Might as well stay for this, Liara," Shepard said. "I had another… event, down on Agebinium."

Liara's eyes grew with excitement as she came to stand by Shepard's side. Dr. Chakwas moved forward, opening the scanner on her omni-tool and waved it over Shepard as she started asking her questions.

"What kind of event?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"Like on the Citadel with the AI," Shepard said and then to clarify it for Liara, "It was like my hands had a mind of their own. Knew exactly where they needed to go; exactly what they needed to do to diffuse the bomb."

"I see. What happened just before the… event?" Dr. Chakwas said.

Liara was opening a file on a datapad, her fingers poised over the screen to take notes, "Ah. Shepard, would you mind if I recorded your story. I can take notes if you prefer, but it would make things far easier if I had a recording to refer back to later."

Shepard nodded to Liara and waited while the asari tapped a few buttons on the datapad's screen before nodding to indicate she was ready.

"Well, we found the probe's signal coming from a mine. Obviously, the beacon didn't crash in a mine and was moved there. Anyway, we went in and after we got to the room with the beacon we heard an explosion and the mine shook. When we got near the probe a hologram of a man called Elanos Haliat popped up and he did the whole 'I'm an evil villain and here is my plan' spiel," Shepard said waving her hand around in circles, "Then he was gone and the probe was set to detonate in ten seconds time."

Shepard looked up to see Dr. Chakwas staring at her unblinking, her mouth a tight line across her face.

"What?" Shepard asked.

"I'm just trying to understand how it is you have come to be so blasé about this, Commander. When this first started, you were, dare I say, terrified," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard shrugged, "I'm adapting. It's what I do."

Dr. Chakwas made a rude hmph sound keeping her eyes on Shepard.

"Besides… you two don't seem to be too worried about it all and you're not declaring me unfit for duty so…," Shepard said.

"Is that what you were afraid of, Commander? That I'd declare you unfit?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"Well, yeah, that was a big part of it. Plus the whole, you know, wondering if I was losing it," Shepard said.

"What happened next, Commander?" Liara's voice cut through the intense staring match between Shepard and Dr. Chakwas.

Shepard cleared her throat and turned her head to Liara, "I, uh – I asked for help."

"You asked who for help, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

Shepard turned back to her and said, "The – ah beacon, I guess," Shepard lifted a shoulder, "I thought it, asked it for help in my thoughts. And it did."

Shepard swallowed against the lump rising in her throat; she could feel a sense of panic setting in. Maybe she had made a horrible mistake by coming to them with this. Maybe she should have kept it to herself. Oh gods, why was Dr. Chakwas looking at her like that. _Calm down, Dawn. Be still. This is all so new. I've never… We've never done any of this before, but we know Dr. Chakwas. We know her and she isn't going to turn on you. Just be still. Keep your shit together and don't give her a reason to doubt her own judgement._ Shepard swallowed again and kept her gaze on Dr. Chakwas, her head held high. She had this.

"Shepard! This is amazing! If I understand what you are saying, you were able to interact with and guide the prothean data to your advantage," Liara exclaimed.

Shepard lifted a corner of her mouth at Liara's exuberance.

"And tell us again, Commander, how the beacon helped you," Dr. Chakwas said with her eyes on her omni-tool.

"Uh, well… It was like suddenly being in the passenger seat instead of being the driver," Shepard rushed to elaborate, "But, I mean, it's not like I couldn't still reach over and grab the wheel if I needed to. I watched as my hands reached out for the access point on the probe, slipped the cover away, fished out a wire and cut it before moving on to the next access point. There was no doubt; it was all fast and sure. Like it knew exactly what it was doing; like it had done it a thousand times before."

 _At least a thousand times before._

"This is… this is truly, truly amazing," Liara mumbled to herself.

"And how did you feel while this was happening, Commander? After the Citadel, when we spoke, you seemed deeply disturbed by the event," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard chuckled, "I uh, I was relieved and… intrigued. When it was done, I laughed."

"You laughed?" Dr. Chakwas said.

"Yeah, I mean… we didn't die. There was nothing… I had no ability to handle that bomb on my own. I brought Garrus and Tali with me because they're better with tech than the others, but still… we should've been dead by all rights. That bomb should have gone off while we were trapped in that mine but it didn't," Shepard said.

The panic started to rise in Shepard again but dissolved into nothingness when Dr. Chakwas smiled at her.

"Well, I tell you what, Commander. I think I would have needed fresh underwear after that myself," Dr. Chakwas said with a chuckle.

Shepard and Dr. Chakwas laughed, and soon Liara's hesitant chuckle could be heard joining theirs.

"Well, then. My scans are still showing nothing abnormal so physically, you are fine. You seem to be adjusting to the psychological changes that have been brought on by the beacon and are handling these events – as you call them – well enough. Unless you start to behave erratically, I have no reason at all to think that you are not fully capable of handling this. I have faith in you, Commander," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard breathed a sigh of relief and slid down off the bed.

"Thank you, Dr. Chakwas. I appreciate hearing that," Shepard squeezed the doctor's shoulder. "I am beginning to wonder, however, if we shouldn't make some sort of statement of sorts to the rest of the crew. I think my laughing fit worried Tali and Garrus. I've been hesitant to talk about any of this with anyone else."

Liara smiled, "I am sure that it would soothe many concerns, Commander. However, you should not feel pressed to share anything that you are not comfortable sharing. I believe that you have the full support of everyone on this ship."

"Thanks, Liara. Both of you. If you wouldn't mind, though, I think I'll call a meeting and I'd like the both of you there to help answer questions," Shepard said.

"Of course, Commander," both women responded in unison.

Shepard left the med bay and made her way to the debriefing room. She hit the comm button and waited until she could hear Joker's breathing on the other side.

"Joker, please call everyone into the debriefing room and I'd like it if you came as well, please," Shepard asked.

"Aw, c'mon Commander, are you really going to make me hobble my way to the debrief room? What if I break something? Can't I just, you know, leave the comm open or something?" Joker grumbled.

"Fine, fine. Whatever. Just get everyone up here," Shepard relented with a sigh.

"Aye, aye, Commander." Joker said.

Shepard paced the floor while the room slowly started to fill. Dr. Chakwas and Liara were there before anyone else both carrying datapads and offering Shepard encouraging smiles. She tried to smile back but her nerves were on edge. She pinched at her lower lip as she thought about exactly what she wanted to say. When the room was full, and everyone was seated Shepard leaned against the wall instead of taking her chair in the circle of her crew. She took a deep breath and began.

"You all have heard about my experience with the beacon on Eden Prime," she hesitated as her eyes scanned over the group. "You know about the visions that the beacon somehow transferred to me."

Her eyes looked over the group again. Most of them looked inquisitive. Dr. Chakwas and Liara smiled and gave slight nods. Wrex looked bored.

"Uh, Commander? Well if no one else is going to say it: what's your point?" Joker's voice came through over the comm.

"Joker!" Dr. Chakwas chided.

Shepard cleared her throat and pushed herself away from the wall, ignoring Joker's jibe. She paced a few steps before looking back to her crew.

"There have been some other things. That I've experienced. Aside from the visions, I mean," Shepard said.

Ashley squirmed in her seat, "Well, like what other things, ma'am?"

Shepard rubbed her forehead. Why did she think this was a good idea? _I have no clue, but you're hear now so sink or swim, Dawn. Sink or swim._

"Uh, headaches… and um," Shepard shrugged and looked at Dr. Chakwas.

Dr. Chakwas stood and moved over to Shepard, placing a supportive hand on her back before addressing the room, "Commander Shepard has been experiencing moments of inexplicable clarity wherein she finds herself able to do things – such as diffuse complex bombs – without any prior experience with such tasks," she glanced at Tali and Garrus, "Or finds that she simply knows the layout of an area she has never been to. She has also described a sense of foresight before and during battles; knowing when and where she is going to face enemies."

Everyone was leaning forward in their seats now, all eyes were on Shepard. Unwavering, prying.

"This was a bad idea," Shepard mumbled.

Liara cleared her throat, "If I may? My research on the protheans has not provided me with significant insight into how the beacons work, or what precisely they are capable of – however, I believe that everything that Commander Shepard has described has a basis in my understanding of the protheans. Of course, Dr. Chakwas and I have been monitoring Shepard's condition and I have been continuing my research. We do not feel that there is any cause to be alarmed."

The silence weighed heavily on Shepard. She had her head down, studying the scuffs on her boots when Joker's voice broke the silence.

"So, uh, basically you're telling us that the beacon gave Shepard super psychic powers?" Joker said.

Liara squirmed and looked up at the camera, "No, that is not…"

"Because you know, if that's the case, I'm thinking we should swing by Earth and pick up a few lottery tickets, Commander," Joker said.

Shepard couldn't help the grin that spread across her lips as she glanced up at the camera, "I don't think it works that way, Joker, but if it changes you'll be the first to know."

"If any of you have any concerns, or questions, Shepard has given Dr. T'soni and myself permission to explain anything that we can to you," Dr. Chakwas said.

Garrus raised a hand into the air as he sat back in the chair.

"Garrus, you don't... gods, you don't need to raise your hand," Shepard said

Joker chuckled over the comm.

Garrus grinned and said, "Oh, I just wanted to know if I could be the one to use the next beacon we find? I wouldn't mind super psychic powers of my own."

"Garrus, the Commander has shown remarkable…" Liara began.

"I don't think so, turian. The next beacon is mine," Wrex said crossing his arms.

"Oh, no, I do not think that…" Liara tried again.

"Imagine what I could contribute to the flotilla," Tali said.

"You guys can't be serious?" Ashley said.

"I really think that it is best if we…" Liara spoke.

"We don't even know what this thing did to her, not really. It could be causing all sorts of problems. Tearing her up inside. It's a miracle she survived," Kaidan's voice of reason broke through the chaos, silencing the room.

"Again, I assure you all that Commander Shepard's condition is being monitored and we have found no signs of physical damage of any sort," Dr. Chakwas said to the room.

"But she said she's been getting headaches. And I… I've heard her wake up in the middle of the night screaming," Kaidan said avoiding Shepard's eyes. "Sorry, Commander."

Shepard sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, "No, Kaidan, it's alright. Yes, I have been having more frequent headaches and more intense nightmares but I am not a stranger to either. You all know at least something of my history… Mindoir… Akuze… those kinds of things leave a mark on a person," she glanced over the room again, "The headaches – the nightmares, they aren't a product of the beacon, though they may be aggravated by it. Dr. Chakwas has assured me that she sees no reason for me to be declared unfit for duty."

"But you think that there might still be more changes to come?" Ashley asked.

"It is possible, yes," Dr. Chakwas said calmly.

"Oooohhh, what if she like, develops laser eyes or starts flying?" Joker said over the comm.

"Joker!" Dr. Chakwas said.

"I hardly think that is a plausible outcome. There has never been any indication that the protheans had 'laser eyes' or were capable of flight," Liara said.

"Hmmm. Liara's right, Joker. We're talking super psychic powers here. She's far more likely to start reading our minds, or telling us our futures," Garrus said mischief in his eyes.

Shepard's heart started thumping wildly in her chest and she knew the second Garrus caught it when the iris of his visor constricted and he narrowed his eyes. She swallowed and forced herself back to a state of calm, willing her heart to slow down once more. Garrus' eyes stayed locked on Shepard. She could feel his burning gaze no matter where she looked.

"Well that would be rather fascinating, I am not sure if the protheans were capable of such feats I will have to research that further," Liara said sounding excited once more.

"Liara, he was joking," Shepard said.

"Oh, yes, of course," the blue of Liara's cheeks darkened a hair.

Kaidan sat back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest looking thoroughly unamused. Ashley scoffed and mimicked Kaidan's posture.

"So, how are you handling all of this, Commander Shepard? Are you OK? I mean, really OK?" Tali asked.

Wrex snorted, "You're kidding. You've seen this human on the battle field. She's tough, not as tough as a krogan, but damn tough. Of course she's OK."

Shepard forced a smile and tried not to let her eyes stray to Garrus, "Thank you, Tali for asking. I can't say that it wasn't alarming, when it all started happening but it's nothing I can't handle. Listen, I don't want you guys to be worried about this, alright? I chose to tell you because I didn't want to keep things from you and I wanted to help assuage any concerns that you might have had. I know a few of you have noticed some strange… behaviors from me and I just wanted to make sure you all knew that your Commander had this under control. Alright? I've got this."

No one said anything else so Shepard said, "Dismissed."

Garrus was the last of the crew to leave his seat. He stayed there, watching Shepard as everyone else left. Finally he stood and walked past Shepard only to stop and turn towards her back; his own back to the camera in the room. He was close enough she could feel the heat from his body soaking into her own. He lowered his head so that it was near her ear. Her breath caught in her throat as she was overcome with his scent. She held her ground when she heard him breathe in deeply before his warm breath washed over her ear. It sent shivers down her spine and she was struck with the desire to turn and nuzzle her face in his neck. She didn't have time to question the bizarre thought before he spoke softly.

"Liar," he whispered.

Shepard crossed her arms and shifted her weight, "We'll talk later, Garrus."

"Hmmm," he hummed in her ear before leaving her alone in the room.

"Uh, Commander, what was that?" Joker's voice came over the comm.

Shepard turned to look at the camera, "That was Garrus trying to bribe me to let him use the next beacon."

"Uh huh. 'Cause it looked a lot more like your turian friend was whispering sweet nothings into your ear," Joker said.

"Can it, Joker," Shepard said.

"Just sayin'…" Joker said.

Shepard left the room shaking her head in dismay. She made her way to the mess hall and found that it wasn't nearly as empty as she had hoped. In fact, the only two from the meeting that weren't accounted for in the mess were Liara and Dr. Chakwas. Tali sat at a table across from Wrex chatting away while Wrex watched her animated hands with his giant red orbs. Kaidan and Ashley sat across from one another at the other end of the table, whispering to one another as they ate. Garrus leaned against the counter, his eyes already on Shepard as he picked at his plate next to him. The room grew quiet and Shepard realized that everyone had stopped to watch her. She groaned inwardly and moved to pour herself some coffee before grabbing a tray and moving to sit down between Wrex and Ashley. A few seconds later and Garrus was sliding into the seat across from her. Shepard groaned inwardly before shooting him a warning glance.

"Soooo. No laser eyes?" Garrus drawled.

Shepard grinned, "No laser eyes."

"Damn," Garrus said.

The tension in the room eased and everyone began talking and eating again. Shepard glanced around the table and was overcome with a since of gratitude for each of those there with her. For accepting her. For not leaving her. Kaidan moved down the bench closer to Garrus and looked across at Shepard.

"Commander, I… I just wanted to tell you again that I'm sorry about Eden Prime. If I hadn't gotten so close to that beacon, you wouldn't have had to pull my ass away from it. You wouldn't have been near it when it… went off," Kaidan said.

"Don't worry about it, Kaidan. I'm fine, really," Shepard said.

"I know. I believe you… I'm just sorry," Kaidan said.

"Come on Kaidan, you're not just a little bit jealous that Shepard got the super psychic powers and you didn't?" Garrus teased.

"What? No, I…," Kaidan's eyebrows shot up.

Shepard barked out a laugh, tossing her head back to the ceiling at the look on Kaidan's face. She could hear the low chuckle from Wrex down the table. Ashley slid down closer to Shepard. A moment later Wrex and Tali had moved closer, too.

"Come on, LT. Stop with the apologizing already. Shepard said she has this. So, she has this," Ashley said.

Shepard wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.

"Thanks, Chief," Shepard said.

"Anytime, ma'am," Ashley said.

Kaidan managed a soft chuckle himself, ending that conversation. _So different than anything we've had with them so far. How are you doing this? Bringing them all together like this?_

"So where are we going now, Commander?" Ashley asked.

"Feros," she said, "Which reminds me. Wrex, I'm taking you with me for muscle. The damage done to the colony is unknown; we might need to strong arm our way through areas of debris. Tali, I'm taking you as well since we are most likely to be facing strong geth forces."

"Sure, Shepard. I'll do your heavy lifting, so long as I get to shoot something," Wrex said.

Tali nodded, "Of course, Shepard."

Soon after the table cleared as the others finished their meals and returned to their station leaving Shepard to sip at her coffee as she watched Garrus over the top of her cup. Finally she lowered the mug and glanced over her shoulder, making sure that no one else was within earshot.

"Alright, go ahead," Shepard said.

"You're not telling us everything," Garrus stated.

Shepard watched him for a quiet moment, his stare was unwavering, "No, I'm not. Nor should I be expected to, some things are personal."

"Hmmm. But you're going to tell me," Garrus said.

"And why's that?" Shepard raised a brow.

"Because you want to," Garrus said.

"Says who?" Shepard asked.

Garrus took in another deep breath and opened his mouth to let the smells roll over his tongue, "Your scent."

"Ah ha! You have been sniffing me! What the hell, Garrus?" Shepard asked leaning forward.

"I… I have not been sniffing you," Garrus said.

"Yes you have. Now who's the liar?" Shepard asked.

Garrus chuffed but kept his eyes on Shepard.

"So, what else is my scent telling you, then?" Shepard asked.

The plates above Garrus' eye shifted, "Right now? That you've showered recently. You smell less like battle and more like that flowery stuff you use to wash yourself with," he paused to take in another deep breath, "That you're nervous. And based on your pheromone level…"

Shepard choked on her coffee, "Uh uh, stop right there, Vakarian. Alright, alright, I'll talk."

Garrus chuckled, his mandibles fluttering, "Good. That was going to be awkward."

"Going to be?" Shepard scoffed.

She sobered up and set the mug of dark liquid down gently on the table. She kept her eyes on the coffee and took comfort in the warmth seeping through the ceramic and into her palms.

"There have been other things," Shepard said quietly, "I… I haven't even told Dr. Chakwas about them."

Shepard glanced up to see Garrus still watching her intently, "I've been getting… flashes of things. Unrelated to the visions from the beacon."

Garrus leaned forward and clasped his hands atop the table, "Like what?"

"I think… I think of things that haven't happened yet but are going to happen, or at least might happen," Shepard said quietly.

Garrus remained quiet, giving her the time she needed to process her thoughts before she continued.

"There's an asari diplomat on the Citadel, Nassana Dantius," Shepard paused.

Garrus nodded, "I know of her."

"She contacted us awhile back, wanted me to meet her to discuss a business proposition. Before we made it back to the Citadel, I uncovered some disturbing intel at a slaver camp indicating that the leader was Nassana's sister. She had been blackmailing Nassana it would seem. Anyway, when I saw Nassana on the Citadel…," Shepard paused to rub her hands over her face and through her hair.

"I closed my eyes for just a second and I saw her being murdered. I saw it all in detail. It was like I was right there, standing in front of her in her office with people I've never even seen before but somehow I knew them. I _knew_ them. And a tile in the ceiling shifts over, and this drell drops down to the floor and before Nassana can even finish her sentence the drell has killed her three guards and has a gun shoved against her stomach. He pulls the trigger and then… he kinda just lays her down against her desk. Crossed her arms over her chest… and then started praying," The words rushed out of her mouth and she let them, allowing the momentum of her speech keep her from changing her mind.

She felt relief wash over her after having shared this burden with someone, and yet that familiar fear of judgement, or being rejected slowly crept in to fill its place. She couldn't bring herself to look at Garrus. Couldn't bear to see that in his eyes. _Look at him. Look. At. Him. He isn't rejecting you. Garrus would never reject you._ Garrus remained quiet until Shepard slowly lifted her eyes to him.

"Hmmm. I can see why you keep telling yourself you're going crazy," Garrus said.

Shepard's jaw fell open and her eyes took on a wild look. Garrus' mandibles fluttered slightly.

"Hey, I'm not saying that I think you're crazy," he said starting to reach across the table but stopping half way, "I just get it now why you've been saying it. I think I'd feel the same way," he made a circular waving motion with his hand instead, "With all of this. But trust me, Shepard. All my years in C-Sec… I've seen crazy. You are not crazy."

Tears began to well up in Shepard's eyes and her shoulders started to tremble.

"Hey, no, no. Don't do that thing. I hate it when human's make water come out of their eyes. It's so weird. The asari do it too, spirits it's disturbing," Garrus said.

Shepard laughed but the tears continued to fall. She hid her face in the palms of her hands and heard Garrus move to sit beside her. She could feel his hesitation.

"Don't break my wrist for this, OK?" he asked before gently spreading his thick fingers out across her back.

When she didn't shirk his hand away or grab for his wrist, Garrus began to gently rub his palm across her shoulder blades.

"Am I doing this right?" Garrus asked.

Shepard snorted in between sobs but nodded her head. They sat like that for a few quiet moments until Shepard looked up and wiped the last of the tears from her face.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Garrus scoffed, "Well you should be. Spirits woman, that flowery stuff reeks and now I'm going to smell like it, too."

Shepard's shoulders shook with laughter causing Garrus' hand to slide down her back until it was cupping her waist. Her heart fluttered and she grew very still. Garrus, on the other hand quickly pulled away. She felt oddly disappointed.

He cleared his throat, "Your, ah, your hair smells nice though."

"It's olive oil shampoo," Shepard mumbled as the heat swept up her face.

"Huh. Hmm. Very pleasant. I uh, I should get back down to the ah... the ah, cargo bay and fix up the Mako," he said as he removed his long limbs from beneath the table.

"Yeah, I should go, too. I've got reports and all… but, uh," Shepard paused and looked up at the swiftly retreating turian.

"Thank you, Garrus," she said.

He nodded at her, "Anytime, Shepard."

"Well that wasn't awkward," Joker's voice came over the comm.

"Joker!" Shepard said.

She heard him chuckle lightly before he closed the link. Shepard groaned to herself and buried her face in her hands again. She stood up and cleared away her tray, taking the plate that Garrus had left behind in his hurry to flee from her as well. She then made her way to the cockpit where she stood arms crossed and staring at the back of Joker's head. The pilot finally caved and turned to look at her.

"Alright, I'm sorry. I'll stop spying on you and your turian lover boy," Joker said.

Shepard flopped down in the empty co-pilot's chair, "He is _not_ my turian lover boy. Will you stop it with that already?"

Joker raised his hands up in mock surrender, "If you say so, Commander."

She narrowed her eyes, "So how much of that did you hear, exactly?"

"Just enough to know that you're bat shit crazy and Garrus thinks you stink," Joker said with a smirk.

Shepard stood and started to walk away, "Screw you, Joker."

Joker's hand shot out and grabbed Shepard's wrist. She tensed up and turned to raise an eyebrow at her pilot, "Do you value that hand, Joker?"

He let go of her and said, "Look, I'm sorry. I don't do well with the whole interacting with other people thing. I didn't mean it, you know? And I'm not going to go ratting you out to Chakwas. Just sit back down, OK?"

Shepard slowly moved back to the chair and let herself sink down into the cushioned seat. She watched Joker quietly as his fingers swiped at the screen in front of him and he pushed a few buttons before turning his head to look at her.

"You've been coming up here pretty much every day since you took over. At first, I thought you were just checking up on me. You know, trying to make sure that I was really able to handle the Normandy despite my Vrolik's syndrome."

Shepard opened her mouth to protest but he cut her off with a raised hand.

"Ehh ehh ehh. Hold on, I'm not finished," Joker said.

Shepard raised an eyebrow but stayed quiet.

"But then I started to realize that most of the time you weren't watching me at all. Half the time I think you forget I'm even here. Hell, you've dozed off sitting over there a couple of times and don't think I didn't see the drool all over the chair," Joker said.

Shepard scowled, "I do not drool."

"Yeah, whatever. Keep telling yourself that but those cameras there don't lie," Joker said pointing to one of the many cameras in the cockpit. "Look, what I'm saying is, and maybe I'm wrong, but for whatever reason that seat has become a sanctuary of sorts for you. And I get it," he patted his own seat, "I feel the same when I'm sitting right here. I don't want to take that away from you, Commander. Besides, I think you might be the only one on this ship that doesn't think that I'm just some disembodied voice they hear over the comm. Kaidan hasn't been up here since Anderson left. Probably because he's too busy making puppy dog eyes at you. Ah, don't give me that look, everyone has seen it. So yeah, you just sit there and stare at those stars whenever you feel like it, alright?"

Shepard smiled, "Well, you got it half right."

"Oh yeah? What did I miss?" Joker asked.

"I'm crazy enough to actually enjoy your company," Shepard said with a smirk before turning her head to stare at the stars.


	15. Chapter 14: Acceptance

**Chapter 14: Acceptance**

Tali and Wrex were waiting for Shepard when she arrived at the airlock. She had spent an hour watching the stars with Joker before taking a two hour long nap in her cabin. She was still tired but it was day time on Feros even if her body was telling her it was late evening and she should be winding down for the night. She didn't want to wait, she wanted to get down there and figure out what this colony had that Saren wanted so badly.

Shepard double checked her weapons while they waited for the ship to equalize the pressure. She saw Wrex nod at her in approval as he did the same. The door slid open and Shepard walked out onto the concrete dock. This dock was enclosed, not giving her much of a view of the planet. She saw a man waiting for them down by the entrance and she seriously hoped that this wasn't going to be a Noveria style greeting.

An uneasy feeling settled in over Shepard as she watched the man; something about his body language and his halting speech felt wrong. _It's the thorian. They all seem like that, though some more than others. The more enthralled they are, the stranger they act. Less human, and more pretend human. Doesn't matter though, not for him anyway. He's about to be blown up by geth._ Shepard heard the unmistakable sound of a geth's static chatter and reached for her pistol just as a rocket lifted the man off of his fleet and flung him past her; ripping up chunks of cement to rain down on her and her team.

"Shit!" Shepard yelled pulling her pistol the rest of the way out and pushing her back to the stone slab the man had been standing next to.

Tali and Wrex sought cover across from her. Wrex's shotgun rang out sending a geth trooper flying over the railing. They moved from cover to cover seeking better angles to take out the advancing rocket troopers and shock troopers, flinging them over the railings and filling them full of holes. When the smoke cleared, Shepard moved to check on the man while Tali set about scanning the geth and taking their weapons. He was a mangled mess, past saving and long dead. They started making their way towards the stairs when her scanner jammed.

"Damn it," Shepard mumbled before raising her pistol.

A sapper and a stalker jumped around walls of the staircase. Wrex's biotics and Tali's Hacking dropped them to the ground for Shepard to finish off with her HMWP VII. The stairs were ancient and crumbling, but amazingly still structurally sound. They climbed up two flights before they caught their first glimpse of Zhu's Hope. Colonists had taken up arms and were stationed behind barricades. Shepard was glad to see that they were level-headed enough to not take shots at her squad. She stopped at one of the barricades to talk to a blond haired woman.

"Where's Fai Dan?" Shepard asked.

The woman pointed towards the back wall that enclosed the area, "Just ahead through that building right there and he's out back on the other side."

"Appreciate it," Shepard said as she made her way to the building.

Her eyes scanned the area, taking in the desolation and the defeated look that many of the colonists had. She saw one woman working at a console next to large pipes that ran along a burning pile of rubble. Another woman crouched down in the dirt working on a generator. A man leaned against a pile of rubble, he clutched at a bandaged leg. Shepard spotted a salarian standing next to the door and almost stopped to talk to him; it was odd that he'd be here in the middle of this but she shook her head and entered the prefab. Halfway down the long hall, Shepard heard a woman's voice coming from one of the rooms. The door was wide open so she looked in and saw an older woman lying on a cot with a man sitting in a chair next to her. Shepard knocked on the side of the open door.

"Hello, offworlder. I'm glad that we aren't totally forgotten by the rest of the galaxy," the woman said turning towards the noise

The man at her side said, "Dear, please try to rest. You're – you're not ready to speak."

"But they should know… unh… I mean, they are very important. Yes, that's better," she said.

 _She's trying to fight it, but she just isn't strong enough._

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Shepard asked the woman after exchanging glances with Tali and Wrex.

"I am… fine. I just need to try to think clearly. It's just a lingering pain from… from the last attack. I'll be fine," the woman managed to say.

"I see no major injury, but something must be causing her pain," Tali said.

"Please, just let her rest. She just needs… rest," the man said.

Shepard had that same sense of wrongness from these two as she had with the man outside on the docks. She eyed them warily before continuing down the hall. A man stood in the middle and Shepard nodded to him. His eyes followed her but he did not speak. Exiting the back door, she stopped to look around. A few stairs led up to a walkway that wrapped around to the left. To her right she saw a man and woman talking.

"This place is fucking creepy. Over there, must be Fai Dan," Shepard said walking over.

"Ah, Commander. I'm glad they finally sent somebody to help us," the man she presumed to be Fai Dan said.

He was an older man, with deep lines around his eyes and mouth. Still, time had not bent his back and had that look of authority about him. The woman standing next to him was younger, with shrewd eyes, a big gun, and a sharp tongue.

"You're a bit late, aren't you?" the woman asked.

"Arcelia! Sorry, Commander. Everyone's on edge since –," he said.

Shepard drew her pistol and began turning towards the sounds of geth.

"Watch out!" Arcelia said waving her rifle. "We've got geth in the tower."

"Protect the heart of the colony!" Fai Dan yelled.

Shepard moved to cover and fired at the geth in the tower entrance. Pressing forward, her team cleared out the geth on that level before fighting their way up a flight of stairs. At the top she saw a colonist hiding behind a fallen pillar, he begged for her to save him but there wasn't time. _There never is. He always dies._ The man took a bullet to the head and Shepard pushed forward, putting her back to a doorframe before popping out to fire her pistol. Three more geth bodies fell to the floor. She really, really liked the HMWP VII. She was going to have to remember to get Davis something shiny to say thanks for working so hard to liaison with the Spectre requisitions office on her behalf.

A hall with an elevator led off to the right. _You could just skip over all of Fai Dan's crap and head down that hall now. Clear out all the geth, kill the varren, grab the power cells and turn on the water valves. Hell you could just get in the elevator and go to ExoGeni. Of course, you don't even really need to do that if you aren't worried about killing a few colonists. Just knock the lady out over by the console and move the freighter to get to the thorian._ She moves forward towards the stairs in front of her instead, following them up and taking cover next to the far wall when her scanner picks up more targets. _Of course not._ Shepard moved from wall to wall until she could shoot the troopers standing at the top of a concrete deck. Her scanners picked up several more targets just out of sight. Rushing up the sloped wall of the deck, she dove behind cover next to one of the fallen geth. Recon drones shot down on them from near the ceiling.

Shepard thought that they had them all down and watched in utter dismay as more geth plummet from the sky. She wasted no time firing at the nearest sniper while Tali and Wrex targeted the troopers. A geth dropship rose from the rooftop and flew away.

"The geth will be back. Update Fai Dan, but don't take long. We should roll out the vehicle and find where the geth are bunkered," Tali said.

Shepard and Wrex both grunted in response as they headed back to Zhu's Hope.

"Tower's clear, Fai Dan," Shepard said before he could speak, "I need to know why the geth are here. What are they after?"

"I… we don't know," the man stammered.

 _This conversation doesn't usually start this way…_

"Have you seen anyone else strange around here, besides the geth? A turian perhaps?" Shepard asked.

"I, no – I don't think so. What is this all about, Commander? I thought you were here to help us fight off the geth?" Fai Dan asked glancing over to Arcelia.

"I am, in part. I'm also here to determine what it is the geth want with Zhu's Hope and to stop them from getting it if at all possible." Shepard shrugged.

 _Almost completely different. Where is this coming from? How are you even doing this? Time after time and it's always gone pretty much the same way. Two or three different responses from us at the most, and these were never one of them. Every single conversation we've ever had since the day we woke up to go to the Normandy has been the same until you! I'm finally breaking through this time, is that what it is?_

"We don't know what they're after. They came, they attacked us. That's all we know," Fai Dan insisted. "Their main base is at the ExoGeni headquarters. A good place to start looking if you want answers."

"ExoGeni? What's ExoGeni doing here?" Shepard asked.

Arcelia was the one to answer, "ExoGeni funded this colony. Without them, we wouldn't be stuck here."

"They specialize in colonization. In return for bankrolling the colony, we work for them. Their main goal is the retrieval of valuable artifacts or resources," said Fai Dan.

"Except there isn't anything here. Or if there is, we didn't find it," Arcelia said.

Shepard nodded thoughtfully, "The elevator in the tower – that leads to the skyway?"

"Yeah, it leads directly to the ExoGeni headquarters. They've got at least one geth dropship over there, though. And I've seen walking tanks on the skyway," Arcelia said.

"But Commander, there are still geth here in the tunnels," Fai Dan said.

"Where?" Shepard asked.

 _Don't bother. Just go to ExoGeni so you can deal with the thorian. The geth are here to kill the thorian and you'll take care of that for them. Granted you'll get the cipher first, but still. They'll leave once the thorian is dead… probably._

"Back up the way you just were but swing a right and go past the elevator," Arcelia said.

"I'll take care of it. There's been a lot of damage here. What are the most pressing issues?" Shepard asked.

"There's been a food shortage, the water isn't running, and the power is down," Fai Dan said. "You'll have to talk to Davin Reynolds; he's in charge of the food issues. Macha Doyle is in charge of the water, and May O'Connell can fill you in on what she needs to get the generators working again."

Shepard looked over her shoulder and gestured with her head to Tali and Wrex. They broke away from her without question and went to find the three people Fai Dan named. _We… we've never sent them off alone. That's… efficient._ Shepard turned her attention back to Fai Dan and Arcelia.

"Tell me about your colony," she said.

"Life is hard and often brutal, even without our current problems. Colonial Affairs back on Earth told us we'd be beneath the notice of any raiders. I guess they weren't counting on the geth. But, despite everything, there's something tranquil about this place. Unlike anything I've experienced before," Fai Dan said.

"How big was the original Feros Colony?" Shepard asked.

"We were nearly a thousand at the main site. Two hundred more at my outpost. When the first wave obliterated our defenses, we fell back to Zhu's Hope," Fai Dan said.

"Who's the salarian?" Shepard asked.

"Oh, that's Ledra. He came in with supplies and got caught up in the geth attacks. You should talk to him if you need anything. Although, I'm afraid whatever food and medical equipment he brought with him has already been put to use here," Fai Dan said.

"Alright. I'll see what I can do to help your people before heading up to the skyway," Shepard said before making her way to Ledra.

Fai Dan was right, the only thing Ledra still had for sell was weapons, armor, and upgrades. She traded up a few things and tried to make idle chit chat with the salarian merchant while she waited for Tali and Wrex.

"Ledra, isn't it?" Shepard asked.

"My full name is Gorot II Heranon Mal Dinest Got Inoste Ledra. Humans usually employ surname and given name only: Inoste and Ledra in my case," he said.

Shepard blinked, "Ledra it is."

Ledra grinned, "If you prefer."

"So, Ledra, how'd you end up flying supplies for a human colony?" Shepard asked.

"Ah, there is often profit to be made with young colonies," said Ledra.

Shepard glanced over as Tali finished speaking to the woman next to the generators. Wrex soon exited the prefab and took up his station to her right.

"Well, Ledra, it was nice meeting you but we've got geth to go kill," Shepard said.

"Happy hunting," Ledra nodded.

Shepard led her team back towards the tunnels, "What did you find out?"

"There's a rabid varren alpha that's keeping the cowardly human male from hunting the varren in the tunnels. They should have put someone with a quad in charge of hunting," Wrex said.

"Macha Doyle said that the water valves are located in the tunnels. It seems that the geth shut them off in an attempt to sabotage the colony. May O'Connell said that she needed power cells for the generators. I took a look at the generator and I know exactly what she needs. We should be able to find them in any of the larger vehicles or machinery they have around here, but we should look for something that no longer works so we aren't fixing one problem by causing another," Tali reported.

"Were you able to gather any clues as to what the geth are after?" Shepard asked.

 _They're here to destroy the thorian so it can't give us the cipher. If you would just listen to me, you'd already know. This would all go so much smoother._

"Unfortunately, no. Every time I tried to change the subject or just make idle conversation both women started acting strangely and told me to speak with Fai Dan," Tali said.

Shepard looked at Wrex and he nodded in agreement with Tali's assessment.

"Something's not right here, with these people. We stick close until we figure out what the fuck is going on here," said Shepard.

"They don't smell right," said Wrex.

"They don't seem hostile, but if that changes don't hesitate to incapacitate. Avoiding killing when possible," she said.

"Yes, Commander," said Tali.

"If you insist," Wrex said.

"I do," Shepard responded throwing Wrex a warning look over her shoulder.

He snorted but didn't argue.

Down the hall, past the elevator, they took the stairs leading down. Two flights in and Shepard heard a woman yell. _Geth down below at the bottom of the next flight of stairs._ She pressed her back to a pillar and looked down the stairwell past the woman's fresh corpse to where she knew geth would be waiting. Shots rang from her companions' weapons as she used her biotics to knock the stalker off of the wall. It fell down the shaft in between flights of stairs and hit the ground. Shepard leaned over the railing and put two more bullets in it just to be safe before turning her gun to finish off the staggered drone. They went down two more flights of stairs and through a doorway on the left, followed by an immediate right. Shepard stopped in the entryway and took a deep breath. She closed her eyes and tried to open herself up to that otherness, to that newly obtained extra sense and let it guide her. _Alright, yeah. I'll show you. This would be so much easier if you could hear my words, but I'll take it. If this is how you can connect, I'll make it work._

They crossed a walkway and Shepard's focus went to the right, so she veered right. She saw nothing at first, just the narrow opening that ran along the floor into a drainage area. It looked like a dead end, just the same as the other side but she kept going. Her eyes low to the ground because that's where they wanted to be. Just before she hit the dead end she saw the light grow brighter. An opening in the wall led down a couple of steps into a tunnel. The scanner was just starting to register enemy locations. She let her hand reach out to the right and hit a control panel for a water valve as she moved by, in the back of her mind she heard it hiss and whir as it activated. She ducked into cover, leading her team against the geth that were occupying the tunnel. The onslaught of tech, biotics, and bullets tore through the geth. The meager barriers the geth threw up did little to protect them, only slowed down the inevitable. And it was, she knew now, inevitable.

At the end of the tunnel she activated a second valve switch before following the stairs up to more walkways. Her feet urged her to a recess to the left and a door slid open before her. _Run, get to the middle fast and turn around._ Shepard rushed into the before turning back towards the entrance. Her pistol pointed up towards the top of the plateaued wall. Varren charged down the wall, ready to pounce on her team. She knew that if she turned to her left, she would see more coming at her. She shot at the ones on higher ground until Tali and Wrex were inside and had their bearings. Shepard was already charging her biotics when she spun to her left and released a blast of blue energy, using it to throw a charging varren back into the others. She trusted Tali and Wrex to cover the top while she covered the ground floor. She moved on instinct, responding to the urges given to her by the beacon or whatever it was, she still did not know. She tried not to think, but to feel instead. And damn was it working.

The varren were fast and when they died, their momentum kept them moving as their bodies slid across the slick floor to stop at her feet. She took a step back and continued to fire as more appeared out of the dark recesses. When she knew no more were coming, she turned again and leveled her gun towards the top of the rise. _One more, the alpha._ Where is it, where is it, there, Shepard thought as she saw the much bigger varren emerge from the depths; it's crazed eyes locked on her. Her gun rang out, once, twice, three times before she heard Wrex's assault rifle and Tali's shotgun take up the call. The varren slumped half way down the slope before it half rolled half slid down the rest of the way to land dead at her feet. She could see slugs and festering wounds all over the creature and it made her shudder.

Shepard released a deep breath and pointed towards the burning wreckage at the top of the wall. She glanced over to see Tali and Wrex both staring at her. She couldn't make out the meaning behind the expression on Wrex's face and of course, Tali's face was hidden. She had a fleeting moment of doubt before she shoved it aside and snapped her pointing fingers.

"Tali, the power cells…" Shepard said.

Tali turned to look where Shepard was pointing before holstering her gun and hiking up the ramp. A few moments later Tali came back down securing the power cells to a clip on her belt. Wrex was still standing there staring at Shepard.

"What?" she finally asked, unease creeping into her bones.

"That next beacon is definitely mine," Wrex said.

Shepard scoffed and shook her head.

Shepard was already aiming to fire on a destroyer when she stepped into the next tunnel. The sounds of Tali and Wrex's guns echoed her own. Tali used her Hacking to finish the destroyer before leveling her pistol at a trooper. Wrex used a biotic Lift to pin a trooper up against the ceiling while Shepard fired into its helpless form. Wrex's assault rifle tore through the last geth. Shepard activated the final water valve on her way out of the tunnel.

Shepard spotted a man to her left. He was talking to himself and waving his hands around animatedly. _Ian. Bravest motherfucker in this place._ She lowered her gun and approached him with caution; Wrex and Tali mimicked her motions.

"You don't want to go down there!" he said when they got close.

"What are you doing down here?" Shepard asked.

"Nothing I should be, and anything I shouldn't," he said. "NOOOOO!" he screamed and dropped to his knees, "That was a good one. Very intense."

Shepard shifted her weight uneasily, sharing a look with her team.

"What's the matter with you?" Shepard asked as the man stood back up.

"Just invoking the master's whip. Helps remind me I'm still alive. You're here for the geth, aren't you? You're not the only one interested in those… things," he said.

"Who else is looking for the geth?" Shepard asked, her eyes automatically scanning her surroundings.

"Not looking for; looking to get rid of. There a thorn in the side of the –," he broke off into strangled screams and grabbed at his face. "Trying to get to the –," his body shook and doubled over as more screams of agony took a hold of him… and then he started laughing.

Shepard adjusted the grip on her HMWP VII. _He's harmless._

"This one is no longer fit. We should leave him," Tali said.

"Is there anything I can do to help you? Do you even want help?" Shepard asked.

"Help me? No. No one can help me now," he wiped his hands across his face, "I would rather die fighting."

"Fighting what?" Shepard asked.

"Not that kind of fight. It's like running through a thorn bush. The more you struggle…," he turned to look across the walkway, "Times up. Company's coming. Ask Fai Dan. Ask him about the –," he was lost to the screams once more.

Two geth troopers were creeping up behind them. Shepard and Wrex both lashed out with their biotics, tossing the two geth over the edge of the walkway to fall to the bottom of the tunnel system with a faint thud. Shepard looked back over her shoulder towards the man.

"How has he even stayed alive down here?" she asked of no one in particular.

"Maybe he's too insane for the geth to consider him a threat, or for the varren to consider him food," Wrex offered.

Shepard grunted before stepping down the stairs to backtrack through the tunnel. Across the walkway from where they fought the varren, her scanner jammed as she reached the door. Shepard paused to take a breath and reconnect with that otherness. She pointed her pistol up, because that's where it wanted to be and moved slowly towards the door. _Cover, you need cover. Dawn, no, you need cover!_ The door slid open to reveal two geth snipers perched on a balcony, the slightest movement corrected the angle; the height was already perfect. She fired twice and the first sniper tumbled head first over the balcony. She moved her hand to the right and fired three times more before the second sniper joined the first.

She was getting too cocky. Her shields went down with the first shot she took, and her armor was dented with the second. It felt like a fire burning in her chest. Shepard stepped to the side of the door frame and swore under her breath until the stinging subsided and her shields started to rise again. Wrex and Tali had dispatched of the remaining geth by the time her shields were restored. _I told you, you need cover. Damn it._

"Good to know you're still not bulletproof," Wrex said slapping a meaty hand across her back sending her stumbling forward two steps.

Shepard heard Tali giggle in response.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. So Wrex, how many of those varren did _you_ take down?" Shepard asked as they moved forward.

Wrex snorted, "I've got centuries on you, Shepard. You'll be long in your grave before you can ever come close to reaching my kill count. Hell, I'm a krogan. We live and breathe to fight and kill. You won't even reach what I had when I was only half your age."

"Yeah, OK. I've got nothing for that," Shepard said.

Another giggle from Tali echoed off the walls of the walkway. Shepard stopped suddenly and slapped a hand out on Wrex's chest to bring him to a halt. She signaled for them to be quiet, her ears strained to pick up a sound she thought she heard in the distance. Wrex cocked his head to the side and Shepard can tell that he is hearing the sounds she was trying to pin down.

A low growl came from Wrex, "Krogan."

Wrex seemed to take it as a very personal affront to find more of his kin working with the geth and thus with Saren. He shoved past Shepard and made his way down the hall, not even trying to be quiet about it. Shepard motioned to Tali and the two women jogged forward to keep up with the pissed off krogan. They rounded the corner to see three krogan, one already charging forward with a shotgun leveled at Wrex. The two clashed and Wrex swung his rifle up to slam into the side of the other krogan's head. Shepard had no choice but to stay back and out of his way, otherwise she risked shooting Wrex. She couldn't even shoot at the two krogan at the back of the room with the pair engaged in melee right in front of her.

"Fall back, Wrex. Fall back," Shepard ordered but the krogan didn't hear her or he just didn't care.

"Gods damn it, Wrex, you're blocking my shot!" Shepard snarled.

Wrex grabbed the krogan in front of him, surrounding him with blue energy and sent him soaring through the air behind Shepard and Tali. He landed with enough force to shake the walkway. Shepard spun and took aim emptying her clip into the krogan before he could pull himself back up to his feet. She turned back around in time to see another krogan charging.

"Fall back, lure him out," she said and this time Wrex listened.

They lured the krogan out onto the walkway, firing shot after shot into him as they moved backwards. When he fell, the third was not far behind running straight for Wrex. Shepard expected Wrex to rush forward but instead he held his ground and followed Shepard's orders. The final krogan crashed to the floor a few feet away from where the first one lay.

Her chest was heaving as she lowered her pistol. Shepard crossed over dead krogans and ground lost in the battle to enter the room. In the far corner, tucked back in a recess was a transmitter tower. Probably something the geth were using to communicate with the others at the ExoGeni headquarters, she thought. Shepard put her pistol away and drew her shotgun, pumping rounds into the transmitter until it was not only inactive but beyond repair.

"Let's get back to the colony," Shepard said.

One of the krogan was starting to twitch; signs of regeneration. Wrex shot the krogan twice in the skull and kept walking. Picking off the occasional straggler, they made their way back to Zhu's Hope. Shepard found Fai Dan right where she left him, standing around talking to Arcelia.

"We've cleared the geth in the tunnels and took out their transmitter. Why is there a man living down there?" Shepard asked without pause, her voice taking on a dangerous edge.

"That would be Ian. He's very sick," Fai Dan said.

"He seems to be more than just sick. Again, I ask, why is there a man living in the tunnels?" Shepard took a step closer to Fai Dan.

 _Oh. This has really upset you. I… I guess I recall being disturbed by it before. I think we all were, but not like this. You're actually contemplating knocking Fai Dan's teeth down his throat for this. Interesting._

"He hasn't been the same since the attack. We tried to help him, but he wouldn't listen to us. I can't help my people if they won't listen, Commander," Fai Dan said.

Shepard reached out and grabbed Fai Dan's shirt, bunching the material up in her fist to pull him closer to her. Arcelia drew her gun and pointed it at Shepard. _Oh how exciting!_ Tali and Wrex pointed theirs at Arcelia. Fai Dan raised a hand, telling Arcelia to stand down.

"Try. Harder," Shepard snarled in the man's face before pushing him away from her in disgust.

"Yes, of course, Commander. Now that you've cleared the geth, I'll send someone to try to convince Ian to comeback right away," Fai Dan said.

Shepard watched him with cold eyes, "We've taken care of your other problems. You should have power up in no time, the water should already be running again, and your hunter is free to go after the varren."

"That is wonderful news, thank you, Commander," Fai Dan said.

Tali handed the power cells off to May before they checked with Macha to make sure the water was working again. Wrex wanted to personally tell the 'cowardly human' that it was safe enough for him to go hunt varren again, so they did, much to Shepard's restrained amusement. After talking to Davin, Shepard led them back out the far door and back towards the tower. She smirked at the nasty look Arcelia gave her on the way out.

The elevator opened up to a garage where the colonists standing guard were under attack. Shepard had her pistol out and was already aiming before the doors were finished sliding open.

"So fucking tired of geth!" She grumbled as she shot the light out on one's head.

 _Get over it; you'll be fighting them for a very long time._

"Ha! And you're not even quarian!" Tali laughed as she took out the knee of the next one.

"The geth are boring, they don't even scream when you shoot them," Wrex said as he finished off the last geth.

"Wow, Wrex. Really?" Shepard said as she trotted down the ramp and towards the vehicle she was commandeering.

"What?" Wrex asked.

Shepard just shook her head and opened the door, "Get in."

Arcelia had been telling the truth. A geth dropship flew overhead dropping armatures in their path. The whole skyway was swarming with geth. Armatures and rocket troopers formed blockades all up and down the suspended, crumbling road. Crashed and burning vehicles littered the area. She used them to her advantage, taking cover behind them as she moved back and forth taking shots at the geth with the cannons. Large, sharp caltrop structures designed to slow down if not stop through traffic where spread out, forcing Shepard to drive at an angle along the maintenance shaft's sloped wall at times. They stopped periodically to clear out the maintenance shafts. Frantic comm chatter came through the radio in bursts; a woman was looking for her lost daughter. Tali couldn't pin down the location.

Several armatures and rocket troopers later, they came to an area that was different from the rest of the skyway. Whoever was breaking through the comm system was nearby and had seen their vehicle. The area was covered all around whereas the rest of the skyway was completely open above and to one side, making it dangerously easy to be pushed off the edge of the road and into open air. The path turned up an incline towards the back of the area, but before Shepard could swing a left to follow it up she caught sight of an unimposing foot-ramp that led down into a well-lit area. She could see crates stacked up and people moving arounds so she parked the vehicle.

Shepard opened the door and dropped to the ground, dust puffed up in a cloud around her feet. Resting her hand on her holstered pistol, she slowly made her way towards the opening. She peered over the edge. She saw no sign of an offensive reaction, only a couple of guards with lowered weapons prepared to defend the encampment. Shepard stowed her pistol and walked slowly down the ramp keeping her hands visible. The guards let her pass without question. They were probably only interested in shooting at geth.

Wary eyes followed their movements but no one approached her team. Crates had been stacked up near the entrance and they swept out into the middle of the room. Cots lined the walls. People milled about the area going about their business. The place wasn't very big, but it looked like the people here had managed to grab enough supplies to hold them over. At least for a while. They all seemed to be wearing the same uniform; probably worked for ExoGeni, she thought. A man stood off to the side working at a laptop sitting on a crate. Another man and a woman stood talking in the middle of the room; the others seemed to give them a wide berth so it was directly to them that Shepard went.

"That's close enough," the man said turning to look over his shoulder at Shepard.

Shepard bristled, the hair on the back of her neck rising. The man was holding a pistol in his hand, and even though it hung limply at his side, Shepard knew he would eventually be pointing it at her. _Save yourself the trouble, shoot him now. Greedy asshole._

The woman standing next to him said, "Relax, Jeong, They're obviously not geth."

"Get back, Juliana," he said. "Who are you? What do you want?"

"I suggest you put that weapon down unless you're ready to use it," Shepard said.

"Don't worry about him. He only cares about 'the company,'" Juliana said.

"And you trust too easily, Juliana," Jeong said.

"I'm just glad to see a friendly face. I thought we were the only humans left on this planet," said Juliana.

Shepard crossed her arms and gave Jeong a cold stare. _I'm telling you, just shoot him. Wait, is he actually listening?_

"Fine, fine. Look see, it's gone," he said tucking the pistol into his waist band.

Shepard dropped her arms to her side and turned her attention back to Juliana, "Some of the colonists from Zhu's Hope are still around. The colony is pretty tore up, but we did what we could to help Fai Dan get things operational again before we left. Cleared the area of geth, got the water and power back up and running."

"I thought you said they were all dead," Juliana said to Jeong.

"I said they were 'probably' all dead," Jeong said.

Shepard raised a hand to cut off their bickering, "Listen, I'll do what I can here but I need some information. Do you know why the geth are here; what they're after?"

"I have no idea. We certainly haven't found anything of use. Something ExoGeni is keen to remind us of," Juliana said. "The geth are stationed further up the skyway at the ExoGeni headquarters."

"Those headquarters are private property, soldier. Remove the geth and nothing else," Jeong warned.

Shepard rolled her head back to glance at the ceiling before leveling her stare at Jeong, "Oh, shut up. For fucksake, what is _wrong_ with you? Look around you! This place is under heavy attack by geth forces – geth! – and you're whining about private property and company secrets?! Are you serious?"

Jeong sputtered, "Well, you would hardly be the first opportunist to try and take what isn't theirs in the middle of such chaos!"

Shepard glared at the man, feeling her fists clench at her side.

Juliana held up a hand, "Commander, before you go… My daughter, Lizbeth. She's missing…"

"They shouldn't waste time poking around," Jeong said. "We can do a proper accounting of our casualties after the geth are gone."

"That's my daughter you're talking about! She's still alive! I know it," Juliana said.

"Aaaannnd you have just lost the right to speak. Not another word from you or I swear I'll give you to Wrex to play with. He's bored with the geth, they don't scream when they're shot," Shepard said, her eyes boring into Jeong.

Wrex cracked his knuckles and smiled. Jeong and Juliana both blanched and took a step back from the looming krogan. _Ha! I'd pay to see that._

"Where's your daughter, Juliana?" Shepard asked.

"She was – She was at ExoGeni when the geth attacked. I don't know, for certain but I think she may still be in there," Juliana said.

Jeong opened his mouth to say something but snapped it closed again when Wrex leaned forward. _Maybe he's not as stupid as he looks._

"I'll do my best to find your daughter and bring her back to you, Juliana," said Shepard.

She reached out to pat the other woman on the shoulder and was about to tell her that she should be prepared for the worst, though. _She's still alive, we'll get her._ That it wasn't likely with all the geth they've already come across, that her daughter would still be alive. Shepard just knew that it wasn't necessary. They would find her daughter, and she would bring her back here to her mother. So instead she just gave the woman's shoulder a gentle squeeze.

They were about to head back up the ramp when the man working on the computer caught Shepard's attention with a discrete wave. Shepard glanced over her shoulder to see that Jeong was busy arguing with Juliana again. She nodded her head to her team and walked over to man.

"I was hoping you'd have a moment to speak with me. I've got a bit of a problem," the man said.

"What do you need?" Shepard asked.

"I need to retrieve some data. It's not a big job, but it pays well," he said.

"Sounds easy enough. What's the catch?" Shepard asked.

"No catch, really. It's dangerous work, but not for someone like you," the man said.

"What is it about you that makes people assume we enjoy being in harm's way?" Tali asked Shepard.

"It's not that bad, really," the man said. "All you need to do is find my console at ExoGeni headquarters and drop the data onto this OSD. It's that simple."

"I'll look around if I get the chance," Shepard said.

"I appreciate it. That data could be worth a lot of money. Of course, this all depends on us getting out of here alive," he said.

Shepard watched as the man bit his lower lip and glanced around the room.

"Was… there something else you wanted to say to me?" Shepard asked slowly.

The man rubbed at the back of his neck, "I'm just a freelancer. I don't have very high clearance so there isn't anything solid I can offer you. But I've heard whispers…"

"Of?" Shepard encouraged.

"ExoGeni did find something here. I don't know what, or where, but I've heard people calling it 'the find of the century'. So, I mean, it's gotta be big, right? Whatever it is," he said glancing around again.

 _Wait, what? He's never said this before. Why has he never said this before?_

"Do you have any idea, any guesses as to what it is they found?" Tali asked.

He shook his head, "I'm sorry."

"No, it's OK. What's your name?" Shepard asked.

"Gavin. Gavin Hossle," he said.

"Thank you, Gavin, at least we know we're on the right track," Shepard said.

They left the small ExoGeni encampment, zig zagging up the ramp and through a tunnel before exiting to more covered skyway. The right side was caved in and completely impassible. The left side led to another door and more geth. They used the cover of the door to fight through the armatures and rocket troopers before continuing on down the skyway. More caltrops and debris called for creative driving when they heard two men talking about moving a package over the comms. She stopped to clear another maintenance shaft and found to fresh corpses. She suspected that these were the men they heard on the comms, but the only thing of value in the shaft was a sniper rifle and some krogan armor. It wasn't anything worth risking their lives over. _Idiots._

Thick clouds of black smoke billowed up from the skyway, obscuring her view of what lay ahead. Shepard advanced with caution. She couldn't see anything and her scanners were clear, but she knew. They cleared the smoke and Shepard had to swerve out of the way of an armature's electrical blast. The nearest cover was a crashed vehicle closer to the geth. It was tilted up on its side and wouldn't provide much aid but it was all they had. The armature was flanked by juggernauts and rocket troopers. She pressed her foot down on the pedal and raced for cover. Tali was already firing the cannons, picking off the smaller troops while Shepard worked on getting them to the wreckage. The cannon blasts and machine gun report was deafening inside the enclosed cab, rattling Shepard's nerves as she struggled to dodge return fire. When the sounds of battle stopped, Tali asked to get out and scan the juggernaut. Shepard watched Tali's six as the woman crouched down over the giant geth.

"We must be getting close, they're beefing up security," Shepard said. "Make it quick, Tali."

"I'm ready, Shepard," Tali stood to rejoin Shepard.

The scanners jammed as another door opened to reveal a small, empty space cut off from the rest of the skyway by a second door just a few yards away. It opened up to a dark, enclosed area with only hints of daylight filtering through the windows near the ceiling. Shepard could make out a wall with a narrow opening straight ahead. The movement of head-height lights told her the area was filled with geth. Shepard drove in as far as she could before jumping out and running for the opening to put her back to the wall.

A stalker jumped around the area and troopers were moving in on her position. She shot the nearest trooper before ducking to avoid the rocket blast headed her direction. She was clear, but Wrex took the hit and was knocked back. He was hurt bad but pulling himself back to his feet when Shepard used her omni-tool to activate his Medi-gel dispenser for him. Tali was pressed against the opposite door frame setting up an AI hack to drop the stalker to the ground. She nodded to Shepard when it fell and Shepard fired two shots into it before it could recover. The troopers had stopped advancing and were instead waiting for Shepard to duck out of over before shooting at her. Tali leveled her shotgun and spun into the room, blasting one of the geth back.

Wrex, now back on his feet and pissed off charged into the room taking out the remaining troopers near the door. Shepard moved in behind him, crouching behind the jagged, broken edges of the deck that stood three feet or so off the ground. She got eyes on the rocket trooper above her. It definitely had a height advantage, but they had biotics. Wrex used a biotic Throw to take the rocket trooper off its feet while Shepard and Tali filled it full of holes. A few seconds later it fell back to the concrete, unmoving.

At the top, Shepard looked over the area taking in the door blocked by a force field to the left, the locked door to the right, and the low, rounded walls in front of her; one of which was broken. She moved to the door on her right and bypassed the lock. Inside, an inactive geth armature lay curled up. Beyond it she could see a storage locker. _It's going to rise up as soon as you move past it, it isn't completely inactive._ Shepard drew her HMWP VII and moved sideways into the room, not turning her back to the armature. Just as Wrex cleared the door, the armature uncoiled itself rising to its full height and started priming its electric pulse. With three guns at such close range the armature never stood a chance. It crashed back to the floor, sparks flying and electricity arching over its body before it could finish priming its first shot. Tali opened her omni-tool and scanned the armature while Shepard cleared out the storage locker, taking what they could use.

Back out of the room, Shepard made her way directly to the broken low wall because it's where her feet wanted to go. She didn't hesitate when it was pointed out that they wouldn't be able to get back up again. Shepard stepped off the edge and bent her knees to absorb the impact. Rubble slipped under her feet. She moved out of Wrex's way and he landed behind her, shaking loose more rubble that skittered down the mound. Wrex offer a hand up to Tali, she took his hand and used it to help soften the blow when she dropped. _Well, I've definitely never seen that before._ Shepard saw the quarian check her suits computer read out to make sure nothing was torn.

Shepard followed the short path to a large garage. Light filtered down from a giant hole in the ceiling; not far from it thick wires hung loose in arcs. A fire burned directly across the room from Shepard, and she spotted the green glow of an unlocked door to the far left of the room. Just inside, she spotted a dead varren, fresh blood still spread out from its body.

A shot rang out and Shepard turned in time to miss being hit, though it tagged the edge of Wrex's arm. A woman in an ExoGeni uniform crept forward warily, her eyes squinting to make out Shepard in the dim light.

"Damn it!" The woman said, "I'm so sorry. I thought you were geth, or one of those varren."

Shepard lowered her pistol before moving closer to the woman.

"Are you Lizbeth?" Shepard called out to her.

"Yes… how did you… have we met?" Lizbeth asked.

 _Countless times, though never quite like this._

"No, your mother asked me to look for you," Shepard said.

"My mother's alive! Oh thank God. Where is she, is she safe?" Lizbeth asked.

"She's safe for now. She's holed up with some of the others from ExoGeni not too far from here. What happened, how did you get separated?" Shepard asked.

"It's my own fault. Everyone else was running and I stayed to back up data. Next thing I knew, the geth ship latched on and the power went out. I was trapped. I tried to get out, but the way was blocked," Lizbeth explained.

"Lizbeth, I'm going to get you out of here and back to your mother but first I need to figure out what it is that the geth are after. Is there anything you can tell me? Anything at all?" Shepard asked.

"I don't know for certain, but I'm guessing they're here for the thorian," she said.

"Thorian? What is that, exactly?" Tali asked.

"It's an indigenous life-form. ExoGeni was studying it," Lizbeth said.

"What else can you tell me? Do you know where I can find this thorian?" Shepard asked.

"I might be able to, but not with those geth crawling around everywhere," she said. "Look, we need to get out of here, past that field."

"You might be able to what – tell me where it is or take me to it? Lizbeth if you know where it is, you need to tell me now. Otherwise, I'm going to have no choice but to take my time digging around ExoGeni HQ until I find what I need. Now, I'd much rather you just tell me what I need to know now so I can focus on getting us all out of here alive," Shepard said.

Lizbeth chewed at her thumbnail for a moment before saying, "I… I, yes, I can tell you exactly where it is. It's right beneath the Zhu's Hope colony."

 _Really Lizbeth, you couldn't have made this any easier before now? Was this really all it ever took? Asking a few different questions, glaring at a few people? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to see things are changing, even if they are mostly small changes. But damn if it isn't a little infuriating._

"What else can you tell me about the thorian, Lizbeth? This is very important, a lot of lives could depend on this right now," Shepard pressed.

"It's just a plant. I don't know why the geth would care," she said throwing her hands up in the air. "ExoGeni was studying it, but I don't think they found anything special. I really don't know that much about it. I know it's very old. Thousands of years, even."

 _That thing is not 'just a plant' and you damn well know it! Glare at her, Dawn, make her tell you everything._

"OK, thank you. Now, do you have any idea on how to shut down that force field? Is there a control panel somewhere maybe?" Shepard asked.

"No, not exactly. But I think the geth ship is powering it. I've noticed the geth laying power cables everywhere. You could follow those cables, but there's geth all over the place," she said.

"Alright. Stay put and try not to shoot anyone else. I'm going to go see if I can figure out how to get that thing down," Shepard said.

"Oh, here, take my ID. This should get you past any locked doors," she said handing Shepard her ID. "Good luck with that field."

 _Varren are coming._

"We've got incoming," Wrex's deep voice growled.

Shepard turned to see varren rushing at them from all sides. She pulled her pistol up to take aim while using her biotics to throw the nearest one back. Reaching behind her, she shoved Lizbeth back against the wall shielding the other woman with her own body. _Don't worry about her, she'll be fine!_ She saw the blue haze of Wrex's biotics beside her as he flung the four-legged nuisances around. Still, the damn things were fast and they were getting too close for comfort. One lunged at Shepard and she met its charge with a boot to its face, knocking it back before shooting it in the head twice. She used another Throw to knock one away from her on the right before it could slip past her and get at Lizbeth. She saw one grab a hold of Tali's leg and start to shake. _Shit! It's ripping her suit to shreds. Kill it! Hurry gods damn it, kill it!_ Shepard aimed for the body, unwilling to risk missing the head and catching Tali by mistake. She fired three rapid shots into the beast's rib cage.

Tali was hurt, and worse her suit was damaged. _Because you were busy worrying about Lizbeth. I guess not every change is worth praising._ That meant she was being exposed not only to whatever horrid diseases that varren might have been carrying but to every other possible airborne contagion in the filth hole they were in. Her immune system was not going to take this well at all. She'd probably be out of commission for a couple of weeks if not more. Shepard reminded herself to worry about that later, for now she had two more varren that needed to be dead already. She turned her weapon on the one nearest Tali, giving her the chance to step out of the fray and take whatever emergency procedures she could to lock down her suit. A few tense seconds later and the last varren was being crushed under Wrex's boot.

Shepard moved to Tali, "Is there anything you need me to do?"

"No, Shepard. Really, it's not as bad as it looks. The suit has already sealed off the area and started the antibiotic submersion. The Medi-gel has already closed the wound, preventing blood loss and further contamination. I will be fine. I won't feel very well for a few days, but I will be fine," Tali said standing up straight and testing her injury to be sure she could put her weight down on her leg.

 _She's putting on a brave face, but this is really bad._

She nodded and Shepard said, "Alright, let's keep moving."

 _Don't tell me you're buying her act? Not that there really is anything you can do. Just get through this place and get her back to the Normandy, ASAP._

The door in the corner opened up to the backside of a staircase, as Shepard moved to the front of the stairs she heard what sounded an awful lot like a krogan voice. He was cursing at a VI that refused to give him access to encrypted files. They moved silently up two flights of stairs until they spotted the krogan at the end of a hall. He had his back to them as he continued to make idiotic threats to the VI. _Doesn't matter, the VI is going to rat you out._

Shepard motioned for Wrex and Tali to spread out but to hold fire for now. The two split a part form her and moved silently into position on either side of the hall entrance.

"Please contact your supervisor for a level four security exemption of make an appointment with-," the VI said.

"Stupid machine!" the krogan bellowed again.

"If there is nothing else, please step aside. There is a queue forming behind you for the use of this console," the VI said.

Shepard dropped her hand, signaling her team to open fire.

"Ahh, c'mon. Stupid machine!" Shepard yelled in between shots.

The krogan was strong, tough as hell, and a biotic. Shepard learned the latter when he hit her with a Warp, making her fall and write on the ground for a few seconds. Still, he was no match for three shooters from three different positions. He crumpled to floor under their fire and Wrex took the liberty of making sure he wasn't getting back up again. Shepard moved to the VI station.

"ExoGeni Corporation reminds all staff that the discharging of weapons while on company property is strictly forbidden," the VI said. "Welcome back, Research Assistant Elizabeth Baynham. What can I do for you?"

"What information was the krogan after?" Shepard asked.

"Fetching data. The previous user was attempting to access details on the study of Subject Species 37, the thorian," the VI said.

"Tell me everything you told him," Shepard said.

"I was unable to provide the previous user with any relevant data," the VI said. "Aside from lacking proper access, there had been no new date available on Species 37. All sensors monitoring the observation post at Zhu's Hope have been inactive for several cycles."

"Where exactly is the thorian located?" Shepard asked.

"Species 37 is located within the substructure of the Zhu's Hope outpost," the VI said.

"Give me everything you have on the thorian," Shepard said.

"The thorian is a simple plant-life form that exhibits a sentient behavior uncommon with other flora. Through dispersion and the eventual inhalation of spores, it can infect and control other organisms, including humans. The Zhu's Hope control group has yielded interesting results. Before sensors went offline, almost 85% of all test subjects were infected," said the VI.

"ExoGeni knew all along what would happen to those people," Shepard said the anger creeping into her voice. "Those sons-of-bitches."

"It was deemed necessary to assess the true potential of Species 37," the VI said.

"That's why they were acting so strange," said Wrex.

"Your pilot should be warned," said Tali.

Shepard activated the mic in her ear, "Joker. Come in, Joker. Damn it. That field's blocking us."

"We've got to drop that shield and get back to the outpost," Wrex said.

"VI, what can you tell me about the geth ship and the field it's generating?" Shepard asked

"I have limited data on the geth. They have effectively blocked all sensors within the facility. I have detected unusual power fluctuations, but am unable to determine the source," the VI said.

Shepard was about to leave when a thought occurred to her. She turned back to the VI.

"What can you tell me about my personal files?" Shepard asked.

"Elizabeth Baynham, Research Assistant, Bio-Medical Division. Security level four exemption. You are currently under probation due to disagreements with management over established company policy. These sanctions may be lifted if your next evaluation is more agreeable," the VI said.

"What triggered the probation?" Shepard asked.

"You were marked as 'combative' about the operations of the Zhu's Hope projects, specifically regarding the handling of the infected colonists. As a result, you were tasked with monitoring the safety of the colonists for the duration of the observation," the VI said.

"That's enough for now," Shepard said.

"Going to standby mode," the VI said.

"I knew she was lying, damn it," Shepard said. "I really hate it when people lie to me."

Shepard led her team down the hall and up a flight of stairs before they came to a room. The outer wall had been torn open by a large, metal, claw-like structure. The claw passed through the room to dig into the inner wall, anchoring itself. She crept forward to look down over the railing of the balcony. Shepard was dumfounded to see two geth on their knees with their hands and arms stretched out before them as if in worship. They were bowing down before a glowing orb that sat in the center of a metallic cage formed by a series of bent spikes, jutting up from the ground. Shepard took advantage of the geth's distraction to take them out before they could get to their feet.

Dropping from the balcony, she hesitantly moved toward the glowing orb. She didn't know what it was or what it did, so she didn't get too close. The light was too intense for her to see what the light was emanating from. Human corpses littered the area. Tali and Wrex moved up to join her.

"What is this place? Almost looks like the geth built themselves some kind of church," Wrex said.

"The geth blur the line between organic and synthetic life. It's natural to assume they seek understanding from a higher power," said Tali.

Shepard grunted, "Stay away from it. I don't like it. There's no telling what it might do."

She stood staring at spikes surrounding the orb, "Wrex, do you remember that thing we found on Trebin? Where the ExoGeni team was all turned to husks? It was like this, wasn't it? But it wasn't glowing…"

"Yeah, I remember. I think you're right, Shepard. Looks the same to me," Wrex said.

 _Reaper tech. Just like the dragon's teeth on Trebin and Eden Prime. Not really sure what it is but we're pretty sure it can cause indoctrination. Get away from it, Dawn._ Shepard put distance between herself and the light, pushing Tali and Wrex to do the same.

"Shepard, I think if we can find a way to detach even just one of the ship's anchor claws, it would cause the ship to fall," Tali said examining the claw. "It will be difficult, the geth are very thorough, but if we can find one of the claws with some sort of weakness…"

"Good idea, Tali. We'll keep looking. Move out," Shepard said anxious to leave the room.

They made their way through geth and krogan as they cleared each room, stopping to gather Gavin's data on the OSD. Wrex was growing increasingly agitated by the presence of his kin with the geth. Tali's stamina was starting to flag as her system fought off the onslaught of microscopic organisms that had invaded her system. She kept her gun up and her eyes open, though. It wasn't like she had much of a choice. No one was going anywhere until they got that force field down. Shepard was relieved when they finally found another room with a geth claw anchored to the building.

A half wall separated the room into two sections, a raised walkway along the back crossed over the wall and led to the other side. Geth terminals were spread throughout. Thick cables hung from the ceiling and across the walls, connecting to the ship. Geth turned away from the terminals and brought their weapons to bear against Shepard and her team. She moved from her place against the wall to crouch down behind another stone slab, giving her team room to vie for a better position. Shepard knocked back the nearest geth using her biotics before firing shots into its helpless form. Tali and Wrex made short work of the other two. Shepard quickly checked the terminals that she could access in the area; there were notes about samples being sold to Cerberus and others being sent to someplace called Nordacrux.

Halfway across the walkway, her scanner was telling her that there would soon be more geth to shoot. She crouched down low, using the metal sheeting of the walkway for what little protection it could offer. A geth ghost spotted her position and instantly all other geth in the area knew she was there, too. Damn, she hated their hive mind. They were already converging on her location.

Shepard had held the ground for as long as she could; firing on the geth from the walkway. She retreated when all that remained was a destroyer and it had reached the stairs. She backed down the far set of stairs, using them as cover when the destroyer reached the walkway. It didn't make it much further before Shepard and Wrex both hit it with a Throw, knocking it backwards off the stairs where it crashed to the ground below. Shepard was on it in seconds, firing off round after round until she was sure it wasn't getting up again.

With the room secure, Shepard made her way down the stairs. The geth claw had entered the building through a shuttle bay door. Shepard and Tali spent a few moments looking over the claw, but found nothing to indicate it would be any easier to dislodge than the last one. _Use the shutter controls over there._ A terminal at the end of the room drew Shepard's attention so she left Tali to examine the claw on her own. A repair ticket attached to the terminal outlined a malfunction with the shutter. Shepard glanced over the repair ticket and grinned.

"Tali. Wrex. Over here," Shepard yelled.

"Did you find something, Shepard?" Tali asked.

"Indeed I did. Listen to this: The damn door to the shuttle bay is fried again. Works fine if the PSI is thirty or lower, and the safety shut-off kicks in if the PSI gets above thirty-four. But if the PSI is in the thirty-one to thirty-four zone, the door slams down with enough power to shear through a metal I-beam. Somebody fix this before one of my team loses an arm in that thing!"

"That's a lot bigger than an I-beam," Wrex said.

"Yes, but we may not need to cut through it completely to dislodge it. Shepard, this might just work!" Tali said.

Shepard waved her hand at the shutter controls, "Be my guest."

Tali hurried over to the controls and began pushing buttons. Shepard and Wrex turned to watch the shutter door. The shutter shot upwards, catching in a joint on the claw.

"Come on, you bosh'tet," Tali muttered from beside Shepard.

The screech of metal being pushed past its breaking point filled the room. The claw shifted slightly and then suddenly the strength of the shutter broke through the claw and the joint exploded. Shards of metal rained down on them. Shepard threw herself over Tali to shield her, letting her hard armor protect them both. Wrex grunted as a piece nicked his cheek but otherwise seemed completely unfazed by the super-heated shrapnel slamming into him.

"That worked well," he said flicking a piece of metal from his shoulder.

The whole building shook as the geth ship was ripped away from its anchor points. A few seconds later, it could be heard crashing to the ground below. Shepard knocked a few pieces of shrapnel from her armor and made sure that Tali hadn't suffered any further breaches to her suit.

"Very good! The field barring the exit will be down. Now we can go deal with this thorian creature," Tali said.

"This was my kind of mission. Kill a bunch of geth, and end things off with a huge crash!" said Wrex.

"I hope that ship was full of those geth bastards!" Tali said.

"I repeat, Normandy to shore party," Joker's voice came in over the comm, "Are you reading? Is anyone there? Normandy to shore party. Come on, Commander, talk to me!"

"Joker? I'm here, what's up?" Shepard asked activating her ear piece.

"We're in lockdown here, Commander. Something happened to the colonists. They're banging on the hull, trying to claw their way inside the ship. They're freaking out!" Joker said.

"They can't do any real damage. We'll get back to you as soon as we can. Hold your position but prepare to defend the ship if needed," Shepard said.

"Uh… yeah. Okay. Well, we'll just wait right here for you, Commander," Joker said.

"That probably pissed the geth off. They'll be all over this place in a minute, I'm sure," Shepard said to Tali and Wrex.

They made their way back to where the force field was and crossed through the now open area. Lizbeth Baynham was waiting for them on the other side.

"How the fuck did she get through?" Shepard asked when she saw the woman. "You know what, never mind. I have more important things to ask her."

"There you are!" Lizbeth called out. "We should get out of here. I don't think this place is safe."

"You said you didn't know about the thorian. I don't like being lied to," Shepard said crossing her arms over her chest.

"I – I was afraid. I wanted to stop the tests, but they threatened me, told me I'd be next. When the geth attacked, I stayed behind to send a message to Colonial Affairs. I tried to tell them where to find the thorian, but the power cut before I could send the message. I – I never meant for this to happen," Lizbeth said.

Shepard stayed quiet with her arms crossed; her eyes as cold as ice.

"The thorian is underneath Zhu's Hope, but the entrance is blocked. The colonists covered it with the freighter just before the geth attacked," Lizbeth said.

"But why are the geth after the thorian? What could Saren want with it?" Shepard asked.

"Well, it does have unique mind-control capabilities. That's what ExoGeni was interested in," Lizbeth said.

"And apparently so does Saren. Maybe this thorian's abilities are a threat to him somehow," Shepard mused.

Before Shepard could contemplate the possibilities further, Joker's voice came in over the comm again.

"Normandy to shore party. Come in," Joker's voice rang through.

"What is it, Joker?" Shepard asked.

"We're getting a lot of geth comm chatter. Looks like they're headed your way," Joker said.

"Thanks for the heads-up, Joker. You heard the man; let's move out," Shepard said.

"I'm coming with you. I might be able to help. Undo the mess I helped create," Lizbeth said.

"I'm taking you back to your mother, Lizbeth. That's as far as you go. My pilot has informed me that the Zhu's Hope colonists are attacking the ship and geth are moving this way. I won't be responsible for a civilian in that mess, no matter how good your intentions are," Shepard said.

Lizbeth opened her mouth to argue but saw the look on Shepard's face and thought better of it. Shepard noticed that Lizbeth clung to her pistol like it was a life raft. She was holding it all wrong though, with that grip, she'd likely break a finger from the recoil if not something worse. Shepard holstered her own gun and waved her hand at Lizbeth's gun. When she held the gun out, Shepard readjusted the woman's hand on the gun.

"Damn armed civilians. More of a danger to yourself than anything you're shooting at," Shepard mumbled under her breath.

Content that the other woman was now holding the pistol right; Shepard made her aim it at a nearby pillar. With a sigh of dismay, she spent a few more moments correcting her stance and aim before grunting.

"Good enough, come on," Shepard said.

The way back to the vehicle was clear. Shepard held the door open while a silent Lizbeth crawled in the back next to Tali. When Wrex was in on the passenger's side, Shepard hoped into the driver's seat and started it up. Back out on the skyway, they were immediately met with armatures and juggernauts. Lizbeth let out a squeal the first time they took a hit. Wrex laughed at her, and to her credit she remained quiet after that. Tali manned the gun as Shepard maneuvered the vehicle in and out of cover.

As they neared the ExoGeni camp, Juliana could be heard talking on the comm.

"… anybody. Is there anyone picking this up?" she said.

Shepard was about to respond when she heard Jeong cut her off.

"Get away from that radio," Jeong's voice said.

The comm was silent for a few seconds. Shepard glanced back at Lizbeth; a frown tightening her face.

"What was that all about?" Lizbeth asked.

"We're almost to her, Lizbeth. Stay calm," Shepard said.

"… this is Juliana Baynham of Feros colony. Please help us…" Juliana's voice spoke again, broken by static.

"That's my mom. Stop. Stop the rover," Lizbeth insisted.

"Gods damn it, Lizbeth, I told you we're almost there now can it," Shepard barked at the woman.

Shepard pulled the vehicle to a stop next to the camp's entrance and Lizbeth bolted out before Shepard could stop her. Lizbeth crouched down behind a crate watching the scene unfold down in the camp. Shepard stuck to the shadows and inched her way down to squat behind a crate as well.

"You can't do this, Jeong!" Juliana yelled.

Jeong paced around the room and grabbed his head, "Everyone shut up! Let me think!"

"What's going on?" Lizbeth whispered across to Shepard.

Shepard could only shrug in response.

"You won't get away with this," Juliana said.

"Get her out of here!" Jeong yelled.

Two of the ExoGeni security guards grabbed Juliana, one at each arm. Juliana began struggling, trying to pull away from them. Shepard was just about to pull her gun and fire a warning shot when Lizbeth stood up.

"Get away from her you son-of-a-bitch!" Lizbeth yelled.

Shepard tried to grab a hold of Lizbeth to pull her back into cover but Lizbeth moved past her and down into the room. The guards let Juliana go when she yelled out her daughter's name.

"Damn it! Come out where I can see you! All of you!" Jeong yelled.

Shepard stood, her head held high and walked into the room. Wrex and Tali moved behind her.

"Hah, Shepard. Damn it! I knew it was too much to hope the geth would kill you. I found some interesting facts about you in the ExoGeni database. I know what happened on Akuze. This doesn't have to end like that," Jeong said.

"We can talk this out. Nobody needs to get hurt," Shepard said.

"You – You don't understand. It's not that easy. Communications are back up. ExoGeni wants this place purged," Jeong said.

"This is a human colony, Jeong. You can't just re-purpose us," Lizbeth said.

"It's not just you. There's something here far more valuable than a few colonists," Jeong said.

"The thorian, I know. You should also know that there's no way I'm letting you take this woman into custody, or do any 'purging' of this colony," Shepard said.

"The what?" Juliana asked.

Lizbeth answered, "It's a telepathic life-form living under Zhu's Hope. It's taking control of the colonists there. ExoGeni knew all along."

"You won't get away with this, Jeong," Juliana said.

"So you keep saying. But nobody's going to miss a few colonists," Jeong said.

"Not happening, Jeong," Shepard said.

"If – if – if that's the way it has to be, then come on!" Jeong gestured with his hand waving her to him.

Jeong stepped towards Shepard and without a second thought she shot him between the eyes. The guards started to step forward but Wrex and Tali aimed their guns right at them. The guards held up their hands and backed away.

"As if we don't have enough problems. Now we're shooting each other in the back," Juliana said.

"Listen, damn it, I'm not one of you and I'm not just a damn grunt solider. I'm a Council Spectre and I've been sent here to figure out what the geth are after not to be drawn into your bullshit corporate drama. Jeong had a gun and he was talking about killing the colonists. How else did you expect that to go?" Shepard scowled before mumbling, "Besides, I shot him in the face. Not the back."

 _Yes, yes you did._ Shepard heard Tali stifle a giggle, but Wrex didn't try to hide his booming laugh before he clapped Shepard on the back. The two women in front of Shepard looked appalled. It was Lizbeth who broke the tense silence.

"It's my fault. I knew what was going on and I didn't do anything," Lizbeth said.

"Don't you start. You do good work and you know it," Juliana said. "So what now, Commander?"

"I need to find out why the geth are after the thorian," Shepard said.

"The colonists won't let you near the thorian. They'd die first. They're under its control," Juliana said.

Shepard frowned, "If you've only just heard about the thorian, what makes you think the colonists would die to protect it?"

 _Good question._

"I… I don't know. It only makes sense, though. Doesn't it? I mean if they are under the thorian's control, why would the thorian let them allow you to come near it?" Juliana said.

Shepard ran her tongue across her teeth and nodded, "Joker said they were attacking the ship. I'd like to avoid killing anyone else, but I will do what I have to do."

"There's got to be another way," Lizbeth said.

"I think there is," Juliana's face brightened. "You could safely use a nerve agent to neutralize the colonists."

"Like a gas grenade!" Lizbeth said.

"You want me to release nerve gas in an area my team and I are going to have to move through?" Shepard asked.

Juliana shrugged, "It's not like it's weapons-grade. The insecticide we use in the gro-labs contains trace amounts of Tetraclopine, a neuromuscular degenerator. If their nervous systems are already weakened, it may act as a paralyzing agent."

"If we must consider it, drop it in a concussion grenade," said Wrex.

"Alright, we'll try it," Shepard said.

"Excellent. Thank you so much, Commander," Juliana said.

"We will stay out of your way until you clear a path. Good luck," said Lizbeth.

Shepard went to speak with Gavin while the two women worked on the gas grenades. Shepard didn't even want to think about why insecticides were something they thought to grab while fleeing ExoGeni. She didn't have the mental energy left to ask questions that weren't important. Tali took the chance to sit down and make what repairs she could to her suit and administer more antibiotics to herself. Wrex stood stoically by Tali looking intimidatingly at anyone who came near.

When the grenades were ready, they left the ExoGeni camp and took to the skyway where they fought their way through more armatures and rocket troopers. Shepard let the vehicle roll to a stop twenty feet away from the Zhu's Hope garage entrance. There was someone crouched down outside of the entrance, their arms slung over their knees with their head tucked down. _Not a human, not anymore. Maybe never was. Thorian creeper. Don't let it get close._ Shepard walked slowly towards the crouched figure. Alarm bells were going off inside of her head.

"Hello? Are you alright?" Tali asked moving forward.

Shepard threw out a hand to halt Tali, "Something's not right. Look at them. Why aren't they moving?"

Wrex was sniffing the air, "That's not human."

Tali and Wrex took out their guns and stayed close to Shepard as she slowly approached whatever it was. It waited for them to come within a few feet before unfurling itself, standing up straight. The grey color she had seen was actually its skin and not clothing. The fingers were no longer recognizable as such, in their place long claws protruded from its hands. It was completely void of hair, and though naked it was not identifiable as any particular sex. The head with its sunken skin, empty sockets, stunted nose, and bared teeth looked far more like a skull than a face. It started to move towards them but Shepard didn't hesitate to bring her gun up and fire. Green blood splashed out of the creature as the bullets tore into its frail flesh but it continued to stumble forward until a final bullet caused it to burst into pieces leaving nothing behind but a puddle of green goo and shredded flesh.

"That thing was not one of the colonists. No amount of infections could have done that," Tali said.

"I've seen them before. At one of the Cerberus facilities I hit with Williams and Alenko. These must be the 'samples' that the ExoGeni reports were talking about. Which means there are more of these terrorizing a colony somewhere on Nordacrux," Shepard said. "Keep your heads up; we need to make sure we don't shoot any colonists by mistake. Save the grenades for the colonists. Kill whatever the hell those things are on sight."

"As you would have it, Commander Shepard," Tali said.

Shepard checked her thermal clip before hitting the green button to open the garage door. The room was filled with the monstrosities, all sitting hunched over in neat little rows. Shepard fired at them but it didn't seem to have any affect while they were curled up. Those nearest the door began to rise to their feet and charged at Shepard. Further back in the room, the colonists who were guarding the garage began firing on her team. Shepard pressed her back to the door to avoid the bullets whizzing past her head. Tali and Wrex took a few steps back to put distance between themselves and the thorian creepers as well as make it harder for the colonists to target them.

Shepard ducked in and out of cover shooting at the creepers until too many of them had amassed at the door for her to remain. She pulled back to her team, luring the creepers out of the garage. The creepers who got close enough stopped in front of them; throwing their heads back they opened their mouths to spew torrents of the green, toxic fluid all over her crew.

When the last creeper exploded, Shepard made her way into the garage charging up the ramp and straight for the colonists. She took a couple of hits, dropping her shields but was able to get the gas grenade thrown out before they did any serious damage. The gas seemed to work as the colonists instantly dropped to the ground, unconscious. Shepard breathed a sigh of relief as she headed into the elevator.

They fought their way through the colony, killing creepers and knocking out colonists. Shepard spotted one of the colonists lying dead, but she wasn't sure whose bullet was responsible for the kill. She doubted it was intentional so she gestured to the corpse to remind her team to stay vigilant. When they made it to the freighter lift controls with only one colonist dead, Shepard counted that as a win. She activated the controls and one of the rounded containers raised up into the air revealing a staircase leading into the ground.

Shepard paused to contemplate going back to the Normandy to get Tali to the med bay and make sure the colonists had left the ship, but she didn't know how long the effects would last. She didn't want to have to fight her way back through the colonists to get back to the stairs. Didn't want to risk having to shoot anyone else. Just then, movement off to her right caught her attention. Shepard spun on her heel, her gun rising as she went. Fai Dan staggered slowly towards them.

"I tried to fight it, but it gets in your head. You can't imagine the pain," he said. "I was supposed to be their leader. These people trusted me."

Fai Dan reached for a pistol he had holstered at his waist and Shepard began circling wide, giving her team a clear shot if it was necessary and making herself a harder target to hit.

"It wants me to stop you… but I… won't," he struggled over the words.

Shepard narrowed her eyes in confusion.

He fought against his own arm as his hand brought the gun up to point at his temple, "I won't!"

Shepard's eyebrows rose with understanding and she opened her mouth to yell at him, urge him to stop, but it was too late. Fai Dan pulled the trigger and his body fell limply to the ground.

Shepard lowered her gun, "Damn it!"

"Shepard, there was nothing you could do," Tali said as she tentatively reached a hand out to squeeze Shepard's shoulder.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose and nodded before making her way back to the stairs. They were ancient, crumbling in places and the walls that lined them were cracked and discolored with time. Piles of rubble and debris sat in corners where pieces of the wall had given out over the years. Shepard lost track of how many flights of stairs they went down without even the slightest hint of life, synthetic, plant, or otherwise.

She paused when an opening came into view. A thorian creeper sat curled up in the doorway. Behind it, past the balcony, Shepard could see the first signs of what must be the thorian. It was – ironically – the most alien thing she thought she had ever seen, and it certainly didn't resemble any plant she had ever laid eyes on. Leveling her gun at the creeper, she made her way slowly forward. Her eyes flickered between the thorian and the creeper as she went. She was right next to the creeper and it hadn't responded at all. They moved past it and onto the balcony.

"Alright, we just need to find this creature to determine what it… what it…," Tali trailed off as she caught sight of the thorian. "Keelah, what is that?"

"Nothing's ever simple, is it?" Shepard asked eyeing Tali speculatively.

Shepard thought that Tali must be in worse shape than she thought if she was only just now seeing the thorian. It clung to the walls with long, thick appendages. The body of it was tubular, with vertical ridges reminding her vaguely of an earthworm. Thin tentacles hung down from its bulk. It even had what looked almost like a face; complete with thicker tentacles hanging down from what could easily be seen as a mouth. Pink sacs looking like diseased pustules clung to the wall, scattered around the thorian.

Shepard slowly made her way past more inert creepers towards what she assumed to be the front of the plant-being. The thorian began to quiver and slimy tendrils of a clear fluid began to seep out from between the tentacles. It groaned, or perhaps growled as something black began to slide out. It took Shepard a moment to realize that what she was seeing was a pair of booted feet and legs. Like giving breach birth, the thorian let a fully clothed, adult asari slide to the ground from within. The asari landed on the cement in front of Shepard before standing upright. Shepard had never heard of a green asari before, but this asari was indeed very much green.

"Invaders! Your every step a transgression. A thousand feelers appraise you as meat, good only to dig or decompose. I speak for the Old Growth, as I did for Saren. You are within and before the thorian. It commands that you be in awe!" the asari said.

Shepard adjusted her grip on her pistol, "What did Saren want with the thorian? Where is he now?"

"Saren sought knowledge of those who are gone. The Old Growth listened to flesh for the first time in the long cycle. Trades were made. Then cold ones began killing the flesh that would tend the next cycle. Flesh fairly given! The Old Growth sees the air you push as lies! It will listen no more!" the asari said.

"Tell me what you told Saren and release your thralls. Now!" Shepard demanded.

"No more will the thorian listen to those that scurry. Your lives are short, but have gone on too long. Your blood will feed the ground and the new growth!" the asari said before drawing a gun on Shepard.

Shepard lashed out with a biotic Throw as Wrex filled her with blasts from his assault rifle. The asari flew backwards and over the edge of the ledge the thorian dropped her on. The creepers that Shepard passed stood up and started attacking. Shepard advanced back down the balcony towards the hall the creepers were pouring out of. _The nodes, you have to shoot the arms where they cling to the walls._

"Over here, Commander! Definitely something different in this area," Tali said.

Shepard saw the thick cordlike appendage of the plant anchored to the wall. She shot at the node while the others took care of the creepers. The node ruptured, green fluid dripping from it. Behind her the thorian growled, whether in rage or agony Shepard did not know; did not care. Quickly she pushed her way into the hall, seeking out more nodes to destroy as countless more creepers threw themselves at her and her team.

The thorian produced more green asari; Shepard began to realize that it was cloning them somehow. How the hell is it cloning them? Better yet, how is cloning them clothed and armed? She pushed the thoughts away, it didn't matter they died just the same. She worked her way up stairs, going from balcony to balcony killing the creepers and asari while shooting the neural bundles. They nearly got overwhelmed on several occasions but Shepard stayed focused and let her body move where it wanted as the thing inside of her guided her to victory.

They took out six nodes before the thorian began to fall. The weight of its massive body was too much for the remaining anchors to hold alone. It dropped down into the expansive pit to join the first asari, presumably crushed by the fall.

"Shit. We needed the information it gave Saren," Shepard said looking over the ledge.

One of the egg sacks on the wall broke open an asari dropped out. Her face was the same as the dozen or so Shepard just killed but she was such a deep blue that she was nearly purple.

"I'm free. I'm free," she said. "I – I suppose I should thank you for releasing me."

"It wasn't my intent. You worked for Saren," Shepard said keeping her gun ready.

"My name is Shiala. I serve – I served Matriarch Benezia. When she allied herself with Saren, so did I. Benezia foresaw the influence Saren would have. She joined him to guide him down a gentler path. But Saren is compelling. Benezia lost her way," Shiala said.

"Benezia is dead. She fought through the control Saren had over her in her last minutes to tell us what she could of the Conduit and Saren's plans. If you were with Saren; if you were in his ship, Sovereign, then you're under Saren's control, too," Shepard said.

Sadness seemed to wash over Shiala as she hung her head and spoke softly, "Sovereign. Yes, he calls it Sovereign. It can dominate the minds of his followers. They become indoctrinated to Saren's will. The process is subtle. It can take days, weeks. But in the end, it is absolute. I was a willing slave when Saren brought me to this world. He needed my biotics to communicate with the Thorian, to learn its secrets. Saren offered me in trade. I was sacrificed to secure an alliance between Saren and the Thorian."

"And now? Are you still under his control now?" Shepard demanded.

"No," Shiala said meeting Shepard's gaze once more. "When I joined with the thorian, Saren's influence was erased. I belonged to the thorian, in body and mind. Now that the thorian is dead, I belong only to myself once more."

"Then will you help me? You know what Saren wants to do. He's going to destroy all life if we don't stop him. Tell me what Saren learned from the thorian," Shepard said.

"Saren was given the cipher," Shiala said.

"Cipher? Cipher for what?" Wrex asked.

"The beacon on Eden Prime gave you visions. But the visions are unclear, confusing. They were meant for a prothean mind. To truly comprehend them, you must think like a prothean. You must understand their culture, their history, their very existence," Shiala said. "The Thorian was here long before the protheans built this city. It watched and studied them. When they died, it consumed them. They are a part of it."

"So the Thorian taught Saren to think like a prothean? How?" Shepard asked.

"The cipher is the very essence of being a prothean. It cannot be described or explained. It would be like describing color to a creature without eyes. To understand, you must have access to the endemic ancestral memory. A viewpoint spanning thousands of prothean generations," said Shiala. "I sensed this ancestral memory – the cipher – when I melded with the Thorian. Our identities merged, our minds intertwined. Such knowledge cannot be taught; it simply exists."

Shepard holstered her pistol, "If you gave it to Saren, you can give it to me."

"Yes, I can transfer the knowledge from my mind to yours, as I did with Saren. Try to relax, Commander," Shiala began closing the distance between herself and Shepard. "Slow, deep breaths. Let go of your physical shell. Reach out to grasp the threads that bind us one to another. Every action sends ripples across the galaxy. Every idea must touch another mind to live. Each emotion must mark another's spirit. We are all connected. Every living being united in a single, glorious existence. Open yourself to the universe, Commander. Embrace eternity!"

Shiala's sea green eyes turned to black orbs as she grabbed a hold of Shepard, flooding Shepard's mind with the images of the beacon once more. Blood red scenes of death and destruction, machines being fused with flesh, and then two bright stars surrounded by planets. The vision focused on one planet in particular, letting it become a black disc as it eclipsed the stars. The image was replaced by Sovereign or another just like it. Shepard opened her eyes and Shiala stepped away from her. They looked at each other in silence for a moment.

"I have given you the cipher, just as it was given to Saren. The ancestral memories of the protheans are a part of you now," Shiala said.

"What was that? Commander Shepard, are you all right?" Tali asked.

"I… I don't know, it still doesn't make any damn sense," Shepard said motioning to Tali and Wrex to stand down.

"You have been given a great gift: the experience of an entire people. It will take time for your mind to process this information," Shiala said.

"You look a little unsteady, Commander. Perhaps you should return to the Normandy," Tali said.

"I am sorry if you have suffered, but there was no other way. You needed the cipher. In time, it will help you understand the vision from the beacon," Shiala said.

"Do you know anything about the Conduit? Where it's at or where Saren is?" Shepard asked.

"No. I'm sorry. All I know is that Saren believes the Conduit was the key to the prothean extinction," Shiala said.

"That can't be good, whatever it is," said Wrex.

Shepard asked Shiala for more information on the thorian and Saren, but she wasn't able to tell her much. Shiala had nothing new to offer Shepard that she hadn't already learned from other sources.

"And now that you're free?" Shepard asked.

"If you allow it, I would like to stay here with the colonists. They have suffered greatly, and I played a role in their suffering. I would like to make amends," said Shiala.

"I'm sure they can use whatever help they can get right now," Shepard said turning away from Shiala to leave.

"Thank you, Commander. May fortune smile upon you," Shiala said.

Juliana Baynham was there to greet Shepard at the top of the stairs to the colony. Lizbeth was with her and so where the others from the ExoGeni encampment. The colonists were recovering from the neurotoxin and appeared to be free of the thorian's effects. Shiala hesitantly moved to stand near Arcelia and the two women began speaking in hushed whispers.

"You did it. With the Thorian gone, we can start rebuilding for ourselves again," Juliana said. "And we're free of ExoGeni's threats. We're back to being just a little nowhere colony. Thank you, Commander."

Shepard offered her a warm smile before making her way back to the Normandy's docks. She wanted off Feros and she wanted her shower. She knew her crew would be getting impatient though, especially after the colonists attacked the ship so she decided to debrief first, shower second.

"Joker, call everyone in for debriefing," Shepard hollered towards the cockpit when she entered the ship.

"Aye, aye, Commander," Joker said before making the announcement over the comm.

"Tali, as soon as we're done in there I want you in the med bay," Shepard said over her shoulder.

"I don't know what Dr. Chakwas can do for me that I haven't already done myself, but if you wish I will go," Tali said.

"I do wish it," Shepard smiled.

Ten minutes later everyone was caught up to speed. There were a few questions about the thorian, and Shepard answered them the best she could. Kaidan seemed especially concerned for the colonists, which didn't surprise Shepard.

"Commander? You look… pale. Are you suffering any ill effects from the cipher?" Liara asked.

"I don't think so. I think I'm just tired. A little shaken up, maybe," Shepard said.

"I might be able to help you. I am an expert on the protheans. If I join my consciousness to yours maybe we can make some sense of it," Liara said.

Shepard quickly pushed away the idle thoughts that were reminding her that this joining of consciousness was the equivalent of having sex to the asari. Still, a blush crept into her cheeks. If it would help though, what choice did she have? She'd already let Shiala inside, she might as well let Liara dance around in there, too.

Shepard cleared her throat, "Alright. Yeah, let's do it the faster we have some answers the sooner we can stop Saren."

The two women stood from their chairs and crossed the floor to meet in the middle. Liara offered Shepard a warm smile before reaching out to her.

"Relax, Commander. Embrace eternity!" Liara said as her blue eyes turned black just as Shiala's had.

Once again Shepard's mind was overrun with the images from the prothean beacon. Liara let go of Shepard, stumbling a bit as she backed away.

"That was incredible! All this time. All my research. Yet I never dreamed… I am sorry. The images were so vivid. I never imagined the experience would be so… intense," Liara said. "You are remarkably strong-willed, Commander. What you have been through, what you have seen, would have destroyed a lesser mind."

"Did you see anything?" Kaidan asked.

"The beacon on Eden Prime must have been badly damaged. Large parts of the vision are missing. The data transferred to the commander's mind is incomplete," Liara said.

"Liara, was there anything? Any clue or hint?" Shepard asked.

"Everything I saw, you already know. You were right about the reapers. The protheans were destroyed by a race of sentient machines. I think it is obvious that there is a connection between the reapers and, the prothean extinction, and the Conduit. But I did not see anything that would help us find it," Liara said.

Shepard ran a hand through her hair and sighed, "What now?"

"I was able to interpret the data relayed through your visions. What was there, at least. But something was missing. Saren must have the missing information. Maybe he found another beacon. If we can find the missing data from your vision I can – whoa!" Liara said as she swayed on her feet; her eyes closing she brought a hand up to her head.

"I am sorry. The joining is… exhausting. I should go to the medical bay and lie down for a moment," she said.

"Dr. Chakwas should take a look at you," Shepard said.

"That will not be necessary. I just need some rest. Somewhere quiet," Liara said.

"We're done here. Dismissed," Shepard said

Joker patched her through to the Council as the room cleared out.

"Commander. ExoGeni should have told us about the Thorian. It would have made your job much easier," Tevos said.

"You might have been able to capture it for study instead of destroying it," Valern said.

"It was turning people into thralls. If we had captured it, it would have turned us and anyone else who came near it into a thrall, too," Shepard said.

"Perhaps it's for the best, then. At least the colony was saved," said Tevos.

"Of course it was saved," Sparatus bit out. "Shepard would go to any lengths to help a human colony."

"Being human has nothing to do with it," Shepard said with forced patience. "They were in trouble and it cost me nothing extra to help them, it didn't jeopardize the mission in any way and the mission came first. If you don't believe me, ask the very dead human that I shot between the eyes when he tried to get in my way."

"Admirable. But sometimes Spectres have to make sacrifices. I hope you're willing to do that when the time comes," said Valern.

"I think you know damn well that I have already made sacrifices in my time with the Alliance and I will undoubtedly do so again," Shepard said crossing her arms.

"Goodbye, Commander. We will be waiting for your next report," said Tevos before disconnecting the call.

Shepard threw her hands up in the air when the holograms disappeared, "What the hell is their problem?"

She left the debriefing room and headed straight for the showers.


	16. Chapter 15: The Veil

**Chapter 15: The Veil**

Shepard found herself sitting in the co-pilot's chair staring at Joker. She was remembering her dream. The dream she had where she was dying. The dream where she was dying because Joker refused to leave the cockpit when the Normandy was being ripped apart.

"Uh, Commander? You've been staring at me for five minutes now. It's getting a little creepy," Joker said as his eyes flicked over to her and then back to his control panel.

"Sorry, Joker. I was lost in thought. Remembering a dream I had. Well, a nightmare really," Shepard said.

"So you're saying I remind you of a nightmare? Come on, Commander, I'm not _that_ hideous," Joker said.

Shepard chuckled, "Nah, you're not. Kinda cute even, but with that award winning personality of yours… well, I'm sure you've made a few children cry in your time."

Joker reached over and flipped the comm switch before stoically speaking, "Attention everyone. Commander Shepard thinks I'm cute."

Shepard's raucous laughter filled every room of the ship before Joker could switch the comm back off. Joker stayed quiet while Shepard wiped tears from her eyes and fought to control her laughter. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, but went no further.

"You ass," she managed between fits of laughter.

"So what was this nightmare?" Joker asked giving her another glance; his hands never stopped moving over the controls.

That sobered Shepard up better than if he had tossed a glass of ice water in her face. She stared out at the stars in silence. Joker didn't press the issue, he had learned enough about the woman to know that she sometimes took time to process her thoughts before speaking. If she didn't want to tell him, she wasn't afraid to say so.

"I was dying. The ship had been destroyed and I was floating away in space," Shepard finally said.

Shepard turned her head to look at Joker. He met her eyes briefly, his face still expressionless.

"That sucks," he said.

"There was, uh, time for me to get out but I stopped to help someone else to an escape pod. I was going to get in with them, but I was hit by debris and knocked back. I grabbed the wall but I was losing my grip and I had no way to push myself back to the shuttle. So I uh, I hit the eject button and saved them instead," she said, the last part nearly a whisper.

Joker hit a couple of buttons on the console turning on the autopilot before giving her his full attention, "Let me guess. It was me? I had half a dozen broken bones and couldn't get to the shuttle on my own. That's why you're sitting up here staring at me. Your subconscious is afraid that my Vrolik's syndrome is going to endanger you and the ship. Well, Commander, that's crap. I am –"

Shepard cut him off, "You weren't hurt. Well, you were by the time I dragged you away from the cockpit."

Joker's furrowed brow deepened, "What do you mean?"

"You wouldn't leave, Joker. You thought you could save the Normandy and you wouldn't leave even when half the ship was already missing. I had to make you leave," Shepard said letting the back of her head hit the headrest.

"So you had a dream that you died because, what, I'm an ass who's overly attached to my ship?" Joker asked.

"No, I had a dream that I died because I'm stubborn and wouldn't leave your sorry ass behind. It was my choice," Shepard said rolling her head to the side to watch him.

"So, what about the Normandy? You let my baby crash and burn?" Joker asked.

Shepard stood and patted Joker on his shoulder, "Afraid so."

"Damn, Commander. I don't think I can forgive you for that one," Joker said.

She chuckled and headed towards the CIC. She was halfway to the stairs when Joker's voice came over the comm again.

"Attention everyone. The Commander thinks I'm cute _and_ has been having dreams about me," he said.

Shepard froze with a look of mortification on her face. She hurried to the galaxy map and pushed the comm button on the console.

"Seriously, Joker?" she said.

"Crashed and burned, Commander. Crashed. And. Burned," Joker said.

"Ass," Shepard said before releasing the comm button.

Navigator Pressly ducked his head to hide his grin when Shepard swept her eyes over the CIC. Several others kept their eyes glued on their stations looking far busier than they ever had before. Shaking her head she turned back to the stairs and went to the middle deck.

She saw Ashley standing with Kaidan, they both turned to look at her with grins. Shepard threw her arms up in the air.

"He's completely twisting my words," Shepard said.

"Commander, I would like to remind you that everything is recorded in the cockpit for safety and quality assurance," Joker's voice came over the comm.

"Joker!" Shepard whined towards the nearest camera.

Joker's soft chuckling could be heard before the comm went silent again. Shepard turned to Ashley and Kaidan. Their faces were red with suppressed laughter. Shepard threw her hands up again in defeat. She went to her cabin and just before the door slid closed she heard them laughing. A few minutes later there was a soft knock at her door.

"It's open," Shepard looked up from her desk.

The door slid open and Liara walked in, "Hello, Shepard. I was wondering if you have a moment to talk?"

"If this is about Joker's little announcements, then no, no I do not," Shepard said.

"What? No, this has nothing to do with Joker. I think that was completely inappropriate of him. Whatever relationship the two of you have is not the business of the rest of the ship. I am sorry that he did that to you," Liara said.

Shepard laughed, "Liara… there's nothing going on between Joker and I. He was just being an ass. Twisting my words, and making a joke out of them."

"Oh, I see," Liara said quietly.

"Have a seat, Liara. What can I do for you?" Shepard asked.

"Thank you, Shepard," Liara said pulling up a chair. "After Feros, when we joined minds, I was so overtaken by the data from the prothean beacon that at first I did not notice that there was something else present, just around the edges of your mind."

 _Liara… are you talking about us? Did you see us? Oh please gods…_

"What do you mean? Like I was thinking about something else or…" Shepard trailed off.

"No, not exactly. It is difficult to explain and at first when it occurred to me I thought that I must be mistaken. I think the best way that I can describe it is that there was something shrouding your conscience. Like a veil worn over ones face," Liara said.

 _This is perfect. Maybe I can talk to her. Maybe we can tell Liara that we're here._

"Liara, I'm not sure I understand what you mean," Shepard admitted.

"That is the beauty of this: neither do I! It was unlike anything I have ever seen before, but I was through this… veil and into the prothean data so fast I did not even notice it was there. Shepard, with your permission, I would like for us to join minds again," Liara said.

Heat crept into Shepard's face, turning her cheeks pink, "Liara… I mean, I'm curious to know… but I mean, isn't that a rather intimate thing for asari?"

Liara's own cheeks darkened, "Oh, well yes. I mean no. Not exactly. There is more to it than… there requires a certain level of… intent, for it to be… never mind, Shepard. I am sorry to have bothered you."

 _What the fuck, Dawn? Gods damn it, no! Make her stay, make her stay!_

Liara stood to leave but Shepard stopped her, "Liara, wait. I'm sorry. That was rude and presumptuous of me. Please, stay. I'd like to uh, you know, join with you to figure out whatever we can."

"Are you sure, Shepard? I do not wish to cause you any discomfort," Liara said hesitantly.

"I'm sure. I trust you, Liara," Shepard said with a smile.

Liara's face lit up with excitement as she settled back into the chair across from Shepard.

"I want you to try to quiet your mind as much as you can. Do not think of anything in particular. If a thought arises, do not cling to it. Do you think you can do that, Shepard?" Liara asked.

Shepard shrugged, "I can try."

Liara smiled indulgently before taking Shepard's hands into her own, "Clear your mind. Embrace eternity!"

Shepard felt Liara's mind brush gently against her own before retreating again to the outer edges of her awareness. _Liara, can you hear us?_ Shepard's mind flowed, flittering from random thought to random thought. _I am – we are – Shepard. All of us. Past incarnations, I guess._ Reports that needed to be filed, the feel of Garrus' breath against her ear, the varren attacking Tali, the last words she spoke to her mother. _Liara if you can hear this, we need your help._ Keeping her mind quiet was far more difficult than she had imagined. _I've been living the same few years over and over, fighting this same war over and over._ Liara's consciousness brushed against her own again as if in silent reminder. _Only to die in the end and wake back up – in a new body, but always Commander Shepard – always still me._ Shepard tried to let the thoughts go as they came and felt Liara's mind retreat once more. _We wake up at the beginning, where it all started just before coming to the Normandy._ It wasn't long before another thought would raise unbidden, curiosity as to why an asari's eyes turn black for the joining, that she had forgotten to give Liara the last batch of artifacts for study, the way Kaidan had shifted into Ashley when he looked at her with disgust. _Trapped, our warnings unheard, in the back of the new Shepard's mind._ Eventually, the thoughts came less frequently and were more subdued as they passed through her consciousness. _This is the first time we've made any progress. We need you to hear us. We need to break the cycle so this can end and we can rest._ The occasional brushing of Liara's mind and the feel of her hands in her own were the only reminder that Liara was still there. _We're tired, Liara. So, so tired. Pleas, can you hear us?_ Shepard felt a sense of tranquility.

 _LISTEN TO ME!_

Pain lanced through Shepard's mind as she heard the voices screaming. She started to pull away from Liara but Liara's hands clamped down on Shepard's holding her still as she struggled to maintain the joining.

She heard Liara's voice in her mind, "Shepard, please, you cannot pull away. It would be most unpleasant for us both, possibly even causing you damage. There is something… something here. I can hear it like a thousand voices whispering. I cannot quite make out –"

Shepard thought frantically at Liara, "Liara the screaming. Oh gods, the screaming. I heard it. It's screaming in my head."

 _YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME OR THIS WILL NEVER END! WE HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO BREAK THE CYCLE._

Shepard began to tremble with the pain; tears began streaming down her face.

"Oh Goddess. Shepard, I am so sorry. I am letting you go now," Liara's voice spoke in her mind.

Liara withdrew, ending the joining and opened her eyes. She saw Shepard slump forward and caught her before she could hit the floor.

"Shepard! Shepard, oh Goddess, you're bleeding. Shepard can you hear me? Shepard?" Liara screamed.

Shepard could barely hear Liara's voice; she sounded a million miles away. She couldn't respond; her head was filled with a searing, white-hot pain. There was a sound like insects buzzing around in her skull. It hurt. Oh gods, it hurt.

Liara laid Shepard down on the floor and ran to slap her hand against the comm link next to the door. She didn't wait for Joker to respond before yelling through the system.

"Joker, get Dr. Chakwas in here now!" Liara let go of the button and ran back to kneel beside Shepard.

Liara was gently stroking Shepard's face and brushing her hair back while cooing softly when Dr. Chakwas rushed into the room. Liara didn't turn to look at the other woman; instead she kept her eyes locked on Shepard as tears fell from her face.

"Liara, what happened?" Dr. Chakwas said as she immediately rushed to Shepard's side.

The doctor checked for a pulse before opening her omni-tool to scan Shepard.

"There was something… I found something… we were joined and… I do not know! I do not know! She said it hurt, she said it was screaming in her mind so I let the connection go and… and she was trembling, crying. She fell over and blood started coming from her nose. I – I – I did not mean to harm her. I do not know how this happened!" Liara broke down into frantic sobs.

"Alenko!" Dr. Chakwas turned to yell at the open door.

He must have been hovering nearby because less than a second passed before he was ducking his head into the room.

"Kaidan, I need you to call one of the female crew in… no, get Ashley and Tali. Then I need you to get Liara out of here. Take her back to the mess hall and get her a cup of tea," Dr. Chakwas ordered.

Ashley stepped past Kaidan and into the room, "I'm here, ma'am. What do you need me to do?"

Kaidan said, "Yes ma'am. I'll have Joker call Tali up right away, ma'am."

Joker's voice came through the comm, "Already called her, she's on her way."

Ashley and Kaidan both moved into the room. Dr. Chakwas rattled off a list of supplies for Ashely to gather from the med bay while Kaidan tried to soothe Liara.

Kaidan slid an arm around Liara and whispered quietly to her, "Liara, Shepard will be alright. You'll see. Dr. Chakwas will take good care of her. Come on now, come with me. Let's go get you some hot tea and let Dr. Chakwas work."

Liara sobbed and shook her head, "No I cannot leave her like this. This is my fault. I pressed too hard."

"Ah, come on now. We both know that Shepard is tougher than that. Up you go," Kaidan said sliding his arm underneath Liara's and lifting her to her feet.

Liara made one last noise of protestation but did not fight Kaidan as he led her from the room.

Tali rushed in, nearly running the pair over as they left. She zeroed in on Shepard's still form right away and was next to her before Dr. Chakwas even knew she was in the room.

"What happened, Doctor? What do you need?" Tali asked.

Dr. Chakwas was holding Shepard's head still between her hands. She looked up at Tali and started giving her directions.

"Unclear. I need you to open her omni-tool for me," she paused while Tali complied, "Good. Now I need you to find and open the application called Vitals."

Tali skimmed through the omni-tool screens before pressing a button. The holographic screen widened and took on the appearance of a hospital monitor showing Shepard's current blood pressure, heart rate, blood oxygen levels, and core temperature. Ashely arrived back in the room carrying a long plastic board, straps, pieces of foam, a gown, medical tape, and a pair of scissors.

"Tali, close that door we're going to need some privacy," Dr. Chakwas said.

Tali did as the doctor requested without question. Dr. Chakwas had begun stabilizing Shepard's head and neck with Ashley's help.

"Tali, can you remove her boots? Williams, you're going to have to cut her shirt off. Her pants can be removed normally if you're careful to not jostle her around," Dr. Chakwas said.

The three women set to work undressing Shepard down to just her panties and socks. Ashley understood perfectly the reasoning behind every request that Dr. Chakwas made, she was a solider and all Alliance soldiers were trained in basic first aid at the very least. Tali on the other hand, was completely baffled when asked to help disrobe Shepard but she did not hesitate to follow the orders.

"OK, Tali, when I count to three, Ashley and I are going to roll Shepard onto her side. When we do, I need you to slide that board under her as far as you can. Understood?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"Yes, Doctor," Tali said getting the board lined up in place.

Ashley moved to Dr. Chakwas' side and slid a hand under Shepard's opposite hip while grabbing the knee of the same leg. Dr. Chakwas placed a hand under Shepard's shoulder and the other under her ribs.

"OK. One, two, three," Dr. Chakwas said.

Ashley and Dr. Chakwas lifted together and Tali slid the board into place. They gently lowered her back onto the board centering her as much as they could without risking further injury. Dr. Chakwas gave Tali the hospital gown to slip over Shepard's arms while she taped the foam head supports down to the board. Ashley began sliding the straps through the handholds on the board. Once her gown was on and tucked in around her, Dr. Chakwas and Ashley strapped her down.

"Ashley, watch her vitals. I'm going to go prep the med bay and grab some extra hands to help you carry her," Dr. Chakwas said grabbing the loose supplies from the floor and leaving the room.

A moment later Kaidan and Garrus entered.

"Spirits…" Garrus whispered.

Together, the four of them lifted the board with Shepard securely on top of it and carried her to the med bay. Liara let out a whimper when they moved past her. Wrex was standing against the wall next to the med bay watching the procession; ready to move in if he was needed. They sat the board down on one of the beds in the med bay and Dr. Chakwas shooed everyone but Ashley and Tali out of the room.

"She's losing consciousness…" Dr. Chakwas' voice broke through the terrible buzzing in Shepard's mind.

"You… she was… this whole time?" Shepard thought she heard Tali's voice.

"… afraid…" Dr. Chakwas' voice was the last thing Shepard heard before the blissful silence.

A steady, rhythmic beeping pulled Shepard to consciousness. Her head throbbed in sync with the nuisance. Her mouth and throat were completely parched. How much did I drink last night, Shepard thought. She tried to move her hand to stop the alarm from sounding but found she couldn't.

"Try not to move, Commander," a woman's voice said.

Shepard groaned and forced her eyes open. She flinched and blinked against the harsh light until her eyes adjusted. She saw Dr. Chakwas standing over her, omni-tool open as she ran scans.

"Dr. Chakwas?" Shepard said.

"Yes dear. You're in the med bay. I've got you strapped down for your own safety. I'm running a scan now to see if it is safe to remove the straps. I can't risk you injuring yourself further," Dr. Chakwas said.

"My safety? What… what the hell happened?" Shepard demanded.

Dr. Chakwas closed her omni-tool and began removing the straps across Shepard's legs and torso, "The best I have been able to determine from Liara's reports is that she discovered something unusual in your mind during the joining after Feros. She sought you out and with your permission; she linked her consciousness to yours again to see if she could determine the nature of the anomaly."

"I – yes, I remember that," Shepard managed.

"During the joining, you began to struggle and she tried to warn you that it could damage you if you pulled away before she released you. She said that you then told her that it hurt and you could hear screaming in your mind. She said you began to tremble, and she released you right away," Dr. Chakwas paused to remove the tape holding Shepard's head to the pieces of foam.

"She said tears were streaming down your face and you collapsed. She caught you and helped you to the floor, where your nose started to bleed. She could not get you to respond to her, so she contacted Joker and told him to call me," Dr. Chakwas said.

"It hurt. I remember it hurt so bad. Far worse than being shot," Shepard said.

"Commander, I don't know exactly what happened, but whatever it was it caused severe inflammation in your brain. It is significantly reduced now, though you will probably feel terrible for a few days. You'll need to take it easy for now. Do you think you feel like trying to sit up?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"Yeah. I need water," Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas helped her to a sitting position before pouring her a glass of water, "Drink it slowly, Commander. Just a few sips for now."

Shepard fought the urge to guzzle the water against doctor's orders. She took a few sips and handed the cup back.

"Did you cut my shirt off?" Shepard asked.

Dr. Chakwas laughed, "Yes, Commander. It was necessary. I assume you have plenty more?"

Shepard grunted, "That was my favorite."

"It was standard Alliance casual, Commander. They're all identical," Dr. Chakwas said reproachfully.

"Yeah, but that one was well worn and comfortable," Shepard grumbled.

Dr. Chakwas made a huffing noise and shook her head.

"How long was I out for, doc?" Shepard asked.

"Roughly thirty-eight hours," she said.

The door to Liara's office slid open. Shepard turned her head to look and the room started spinning.

"Careful now, Commander. Slow movements. Especially of your head," Dr. Chakwas warned putting a steadying hand on Shepard's shoulder.

Shepard closed her eyes until the vertigo subsided. When she opened them again, Liara was at her side with tears in her eyes.

"Commander, it is good to see you awake. How are you feeling?" Liara asked.

"Like I had far too much to drink last night," Shepard said with the best smile she could muster.

Liara chuckled but then the tears in her eyes renewed, "Shepard… I am so sorry. I had no idea…"

"Liara, hey, hey. This wasn't your fault. C'mere," Shepard held her arm out to Liara.

Liara stepped into the offered embrace, gently wrapping her arms around Shepard.

"I'm going to be fine. Trust me, this isn't even the worst I've had," Shepard said.

"Well that is certainly no lie," said Dr. Chakwas.

Liara nodded and pulled away from Shepard. She sniffled once and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Is there anything that you need? Anything that I can do for you, Shepard?" Liara asked.

"Yeah, you can go tell all the slackers out there that I'm up and they better get back to work. Oh, and bring me my laptop. I doubt Dr. Chakwas is going to let me out of this bed yet," Shepard glanced up to see Dr. Chakwas shake her head, "but that doesn't mean I can't still be productive."

"Of course, Shepard," Liara said leaving the room.

Dr. Chakwas moved back to Shepard's side, "So, are we not going to talk about the elephant in the room?"

"I don't see any elephant," Shepard smirked.

"Commander, you told Liara you heard voices screaming in your head," Dr. Chakwas said crossing her arms.

"Oh, that elephant," Shepard mumbled.

"Yes, that elephant," Dr. Chakwas watched Shepard quietly for a moment before continuing, "What were these voices saying, Commander?"

Shepard reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes closed, "Something about breaking a cycle. I'm not really sure, it was so loud. Like having a stadium full of people yelling inside my head."

Shepard looked up at Dr. Chakwas who was taking notes on her omni-tool.

"Commander, with your permission I would like to consult with another doctor. She is an asari who has specialized in human psychology. She has had great success using the joining with her patients to help them to overcome mental illnesses," Dr. Chakwas said.

"So… you do think I'm crazy, then," Shepard was crestfallen.

"No, Commander. I do not. No mental illness would have caused this. Still, considering we do not understand really what it is that we're dealing with here I think it is important that we call in someone who might be able to provide us some level of insight. It will also help later down the line, should I be called into question for the way I handled your case to have a second outside source involved," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Dr. Chakwas, I'm not sure about bringing in unknown quantities. If word of this got out…,"Shepard said.

"I trust this woman, implicitly. She and I have worked together in the past and I consider her to be a trusted colleague and friend. I firmly believe that there is more risk involved by not bringing her in, Commander," Dr. Chakwas insisted.

Shepard sighed, "Alright, I guess. Sure."

"Thank you, Commander. I will contact Dr. Tulina right away. I expect she will be more than willing to charter a shuttle to bring her right to us," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Where are we, doc?" Shepard asked.

"Still in the Attican Beta cluster. Joker took us to the last destination you entered before you were hurt. We're in the Hercules system. Joker has us orbiting Eletania. He said that you were contacted by Alliance Command?" Dr. Chakwas said.

"Yeah, they wanted me to look into a surveillance drone that was shot down. Joker must have taken the liberty of scanning for it while I was out," Shepard said.

"Indeed. It seems you have made quite the impression on our pilot, Commander," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Why, because he flew us where I told him, too? Because, you know, that's kinda his job…" Shepard said.

"No, because I've never seen Joker leave that cockpit if he didn't have to," Dr. Chakwas said, "But he came down here to sit with you while you were out. Granted he didn't really say much. He just sat next to your bed drinking coffee – to spite me, no doubt and read a book. The old kind from Earth – with actual paper. I haven't a clue where he got it. Anyway, he sat there for about an hour or so and then stood up without a word, patted your shoulder and left."

Shepard smiled before laying her head back against the pillow.

"You know, you really should find him a medication that doesn't make him have to pee so often," Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas laughed, "He's such a big baby. He finds something to complain about with every medication we've tried. No, I'm afraid this one has provided the best results. At least when he remembers to take it."

Shepard lifted a palm before letting it drop back down to the bed, "I tried. Do me a favor, doc? Let him know I'm up. Liara probably won't think to go to tell him."

"Of course, Commander," Dr. Chakwas said.

Liara returned a few minutes later with Kaidan. Kaidan was carrying Shepard's laptop in his arms and Liara was carrying a covered tray. Liara sat the tray down on a side table before pulling a hospital bedside table over to Shepard, sliding the legs of it under her bed and adjusting it to her height. Kaidan put the laptop down next to the tray Liara brought in and moved to stand next to Shepard.

"Commander, you gave us all quite a scare. How are you feeling?" Kaidan asked.

"Hungover," Shepard said simply.

Kaidan smiled, "Yeah I hear Dr. Chakwas said you'll probably feel like crap for a few days."

"Yeah, but I'll be back on my feet by tomorrow," Shepard said.

"No, you most certainly will not! You need to stay in this bed at least two more days, Commander," Dr. Chakwas chastised.

"I'm sure someone will bust me out of this joint," Shepard winked conspiratorially at Kaidan making him chuckle.

"I don't know, Commander. I think Dr. Chakwas might be just a tad scarier than you. I mean, she has syringes and scalpels. You only have guns and biotics," Kaidan said.

"Pffft. What's the matter, Kaidan? Afraid you might wake up a little less of a man than you were before she got a hold of you?" Shepard teased.

A delicate gasp escaped Liara's lips as her cheeks darkened. Shepard couldn't help but to laugh which she instantly regretted. She winced and grabbed her forehead. Dr. Chakwas started to fill a syringe with a clear liquid from a small vial.

"No, doc, nothing that strong. I'm finally awake, I want to stay that way," Shepard said.

"If you insist," Dr. Chakwas said putting the vial and syringe aside before moving to riffle through the contents of a shelf, "Here, it's a stronger version of the same patches I've been giving you for your headaches. It won't make you drowsy."

Shepard nodded and let the doctor place the patch behind her ear. Liara sat the tray down in front of Shepard and uncovered a bowl of fresh fruit, hot tea, and a bran muffin. Shepard crinkled her nose.

"What? No bacon and eggs?" Shepard said.

"No, Commander. Dr. Chakwas informed me that you are to only have mild foods to start. I do not believe we even have bacon and eggs anyway. I was happy to find fresh fruit in the stasis chamber of the refrigerator," Liara said.

Shepard grunted and looked at Dr. Chakwas like she was a traitor.

The doctor only gave her a motherly smile and said, "Eat it slowly. If you start to feel sick at all let me know."

The day was spent in boredom, filling out overdue reports and browsing the extranet. Shepard found several videos of predators from Earth and other human colonies to send to Wrex. He responded to one saying that if krogan new how to swim, he'd have fun ripping apart a shark. Another message from him later requested that they take a trip to Earth someday so he could fight a polar bear. Shepard told him that the polar bears were nearly extinct and protected by Earth's federal laws. He told her that only meant that they had to make sure no one else ever found out.

Her crew showed up throughout the day to check on her. Liara came and went, fretting over her like a mother hen. Garrus sat with her for quite a while mostly talking shop about weapons and retelling stories of his days in C-Sec. His eyes stayed glued to her the entire time like she might disappear if he looked away. He only left when Ashley came in to bring her lunch and talk about her sisters. Shepard wondered if those two would ever really grow to be comfortable around one another.

Tali came by in the afternoon, "Commander Shepard, I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. Every time I stopped by someone else was already in here and Dr. Chakwas said it was important that you not be overwhelmed with too many visitors at once. Do you feel up for some company now?"

"Hey, Tali! It's good to see you. Of course, come sit with me," Shepard patted the edge of her bed and grinned. "I hear you got your first eyeful of a mostly naked human. Hope it wasn't too traumatic for you."

"Traumatic? Shepard, please," Tali waved a dismissive hand in the air, "The only thing traumatic about it was reconciling the idea that it was safe for you to be without your suit – I mean clothes. To undress a sick or injured quarian outside of complete quarantine would be the same as signing their death warrant. Besides, from what I saw, your body is really not that different from my own."

"Uh, good to know. I guess. Anyway, thanks for helping out. Dr. Chakwas said she was impressed with your composure during the whole thing. She wondered if you had medical training on the flotilla," Shepard said.

"Everyone on the flotilla has some level of training, but it only really applies to helping injured quarians. Because of our immune systems, it's necessary that every quarian know how to handle themselves in a medical emergency and to be prepared to help however they can. I was honored that Dr. Chakwas asked for my aid," Tali said.

Wrex was the next to make his way in to the med bay. He said that Tali yelled at him on her way back down to Engineering until he agreed to come up in person. Shepard had to fight the urge to laugh. The ache in her head was finally starting to dissipate and she didn't want to aggravate it again. He didn't stay long, though. He was clearly uncomfortable in the brightly lit, sterile environment and Wrex was never big on small talk.

On his way out he said, "I can't believe you're still lying around, Shepard. We've got work to do."

"I know, Wrex. I know. Doctor's orders. I'll be up soon and we'll be back to blowing the heads off of geth in no time," Shepard said.

Wrex grunted, "Good."

The door opened to reveal Joker limping towards the med bay carrying two cups of steaming coffee. Joker didn't pause as he made his way past the looming krogan.

"Pilot," Wrex said.

"Mercenary," Joker said.

Wrex chuckled and left the med bay. Joker slowly made his way over to Shepard and carefully set one of the cups down next to her laptop. Shepard's eyes lit up as she lifted the steaming cup to her lips and inhaled the rich scent. Joker set his own cup down on the small table next to the chair sitting beside her bed before carefully lowering himself into it. He lifted his cup up in salute before taking a sip.

"So, not dead," Joker said.

"Not dead," Shepard agreed.

"I was half convinced this was a sick prank you were pulling as pay back for my liberal use of the intercom," Joker said.

Shepard chuckled, "You think I'd let them cut up my favorite shirt and sit around in this bed just to get one over on you? Your ego's even bigger than I thought."

Joker's lip twitched, "Wishful thinking, I suppose."

"Wasn't sure Dr. Chakwas would let you have coffee. She always yells at me for drinking it, but she said it has anti-inflammatory qualities or some crap. Said it might actually be good for you right now, if your stomach could handle it," Joker said.

"Caffeine is supposed to have negative effects on bone density," Shepard said taking another sip.

"Thank you, Commander," Dr. Chakwas said over her shoulder from her spot at her desk.

"Don't encourage the tyrant, Commander," Joker said.

Dr. Chakwas scoffed.

"So who's flying the ship?" Shepard asked.

"It's on auto. We're in orbit, but I stuck Kaidan in the co-pilot's seat to watch things before I came down here," Joker responded.

"You scanned the system while I was out?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, figured it's what you would have had me do anyway. Picked up the signal on Eletania. No sign of geth, or any other activity in the space around us so put us in orbit. I've got constant monitoring up, so we'll be alerted if anyone else comes around. We can sit here for as long as you need," Joker said.

"Thanks, Joker," Shepard took another sip of her coffee.

"Just doing my job, ma'am," he said.

"I don't think bringing your bedridden Commander coffee and coming to sit by her side while she's unconscious is in your job description, but I'll be happy to put it there if it makes you feel better," Shepard smiled.

Joker smirked, "Only if it comes with a pay raise."

They finished their coffee in the comfortable silence they were used to sharing with one another. When Shepard put her empty cup down, Joker pulled himself up from the chair and took her cup.

"I'd better get back up there, Commander. See ya," Joker said as he made slow progress towards the door.

"Later, Joker," she said.

An hour later, even with the caffeine pumping through her system, Shepard fell into a fitful sleep. She dreamt she was surrounded by swarms of insects, their buzzing filling her ears and rattling around in her skull. She saw people standing in odd positons, frozen like statues. Their bodies flickered with a strange light and thick, black tendrils of shadow licked and swirled around them.

Shepard was woken the next morning by the sounds of voices in her room. The buzzing still sounded in her mind. It waxed and waned, filling her head one moment and then barely recognizable the next. She opened her eyes to see Dr. Chakwas talking to an asari she had never seen before. When Shepard shifted to sit up, the two other women turned to look at her before walking over to her bed.

"Commander Shepard, this is Dr. Tulina. She has agreed to consult on your case and to stay aboard the Normandy for as long as you agree to her presence here," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard looked over the asari doctor, taking in her sapphire skin and her dusty rose markings that lined her head and face. The doctor stood silently with her hands clasped in front of her. A soft smile touched her lips. She held herself with that presence of ancient wisdom and calm that the asari were so good at portraying.

"Hello, Dr. Tulina. Thank you for coming on such short notice," Shepard managed.

"It is an honor to be asked to serve aboard a Spectre ship, even if only temporarily. Dr. Chakwas and I are old friends, so naturally I am pleased that she has trusted me enough to handle your delicate situation. I wish to assure you, her trust was not misplaced. I will help in whatever way that I can, and will tell no one of anything that I learn here until asked by Dr. Chakwas or yourself to do so," Dr. Tulina said.

"I'm glad to hear that, Doctor," Shepard said.

"I will need some time to review your files but if I understand what Dr. Chakwas told me, you were joined with another asari when this incident occurred. Is this correct?" Dr. Tulina asked.

"Yeah, Dr. Liara T'soni. She's here helping me on my mission. Her office is right over there," Shepard pointed to the door at the fare end of the med bay.

"Excellent, then with your permission, I would like to speak with Dr. T'soni about what she experienced with the joining. If you both consent, I would like to join with Dr. T'soni to review her experience as she recalls it in her mind. I do not think at this time it would be wise to attempt any further joining with your own mind until we understand more about what is happening," Dr. Tulina said.

Shepard nodded slowly, "Yeah, sure. If she's OK with it."

"I'll go get Dr. T'soni," Dr. Chakwas said turning towards Liara's office.

"Dr. Chakwas has assured me that she has no reason to suspect that you are suffering from any mental illness. She has briefly informed me of your experience with the prothean beacon, and the accompanying side effects that you have experienced," Dr. Tulina paused. "She would like, however, for me to evaluate you from a psychological standpoint keeping your medical history and interaction with the beacon in mind. This is a formality, I assure you. To assure that we have covered all of our bases, as you humans say."

Shepard groaned but nodded her assent.

"Excellent, we will plan on performing the full evaluation tomorrow morning after I have had the opportunity to read your files and speak with Dr. T'soni. This will also allow your body more time to recover," Dr. Tulina said.

Dr. Chakwas returned with Liara. Shepard watched as the two asari bowed their heads to one another and introductions were made. Liara seemed more than happy to do whatever Dr. Tulina asked of her if it would help Shepard. She could tell that Liara still felt responsible for whatever had happened and the asari wasn't going to let go of that very easily. The two asari retreated to Liara's office to talk further, and Shepard supposed, to join minds in private.

While they were gone, Shepard convinced Dr. Chakwas to let her get out of the bed and take back her dignity by using the restroom on her own. Shepard waited while Dr. Chakwas unhooked the IV from the drip and taped the small plastic tube to her arm so it wouldn't be in the way. Dr. Chakwas stood next to Shepard, her hands out ready to stabilize her in case she started to fall. Shepard threw the sheet back and let her legs slide over the edge of the bed. She fought back the dizzy feeling as her body changed positions and tried to ignore the faint buzzing in her head. After a few seconds she slid forward and let her feet touch the floor before pushing away from the bed.

Shepard took her time making her way to the restroom with Dr. Chakwas by her side the entire time. She was grateful for the supportive presence, but was annoyed when the doctor insisted on going into the restroom with Shepard. At least she didn't try to help her onto the toilet, Shepard thought.

When she was finished they made their way slowly back to Shepard's bed. She hated herself for feeling relief when she lowered herself back down to the thin mattress. Dr. Chakwas flushed her IV with saline before reestablishing the drip and then went to go get Shepard breakfast.

A long hour passed before Liara and Dr. Tulina came back into the med bay. Liara seemed far more relaxed than she did when they went in so Shepard supposed that was a good sign. Dr. Chakwas looked up from her desk and met Dr. Tulina's gaze. For the briefest of moments Shepard thought she saw something pass between the two. A look of particular fondness and familiarity that went beyond mere colleagues or even friendship. Oh my, Dr. Chakwas, Shepard thought with a grin.

The three doctors spent some time huddled together discussing Shepard. With the exception of the occasional glance over their shoulders in her direction, they seemed to forget that she was even there in the room. Shepard tried not to be annoyed over their secretiveness but it was getting under her skin. After a few minutes she cleared her throat.

"So? What's the word?" Shepard asked.

Liara broke away from the other two and came to Shepard's side.

"They are just discussing different possibilities. To be honest, much of what they are saying is beyond me," Liara said.

"So did you let her look in your head?" Shepard asked.

"Yes. Dr. Tulina was able to view my memories of our joining with a clarity that would be impossible to convey with simple words. She was just as baffled by what I found as I was," Liara said.

"Hey, that's good then. At least it means she doesn't think I'm crazy," Shepard smiled.

"No one here believes that you are crazy, Shepard," Liara assured her.

"There is evidence that the protheans were able to communicate memories through touch. Perhaps, when you encountered the beacon, you picked up other latent memories?" Liara offered.

"I don't think that's what this is, Liara. The things I've been seeing and doing… they're all related to my life not a prothean's. And memories couldn't account for knowing what's about to happen before it does," Shepard said quietly.

Liara sighed, "I know, Shepard. I am sorry. I just wish that I had something more to offer you."

Shepard squeezed Liara's hand, "Thanks, Liara."

The rest of the day went by agonizingly slow. Dr. Tulina sat quietly at a table reading over Shepard's records. She occasionally asked Shepard, Liara, or Dr. Chakwas for clarification on something she found but otherwise she stayed quiet. Dr. Chakwas came and went checking Shepard's vitals and helping her to the bathroom when she needed to go. She even allowed Shepard to take a shower on her own. Moving around got easier each time Shepard got up, so Dr. Chakwas was contented to stay outside of the bathroom while Shepard showered as long as Shepard left the door cracked.

Shepard had assumed that the near constant buzzing in her head was a side effect of the inflammation. When she asked Dr. Chakwas how long that should last, Shepard was told that it was not related to the brain inflammation and was scolded for not telling Dr. Chakwas about it sooner. Shepard then spent twenty minutes going over a checklist of symptoms with Dr. Chakwas because she couldn't convince the woman that there wasn't anything else she was forgetting to tell her.

Shepard was glad when it was late enough that she could justify going to sleep for the night. She settled into the bed and pulled the blankets up under her chin. The incessant buzzing was actually somehow comforting, lulling Shepard to sleep before long.

She was in the Mako, driving across the mossy surface of a planet. She had come to collect the data module from a downed surveillance drone for the Alliance. Her scanners picked up an anomaly nearby, so she veered the Mako towards it. In the distance, she could see prothean ruins. As they got closer she could see a large, metallic orb floating in the center. Liara would never forgive her if she didn't check it out. She pulled over and left the Mako. A slot in the orb drew her attention and she risked the biohazard of the planet long enough to take off a gauntlet so she could fit the small trinket the asari Consort had given her into the slot.

Dawn Shepard's wounded subconscious scrabbled for answers breaking into her dream, "What's this, where am I?"

 _"Eletania,"_ a voice whispered in response.

"Who is that? Who's there?" Shepard asked.

 _"Dawn?! Dawn can you hear me?"_ the whispering voice asked.

"Show yourself, damn it!" Shepard roared.

He was chasing monkeys around. Tali had gotten upset when Shepard shot one of them to make his life easier, so now he was doing this the hard way. Every damn monkey he checked didn't have the data module so they were getting back into the Mako to move to the last location. They'd programmed the scanners to track the little nuisances. Wrex called them pyjaks.

 _"Shepard, you have to listen to me…"_ the whispered voice faded into buzzing.

"What? Where are you? Listen to what?" Shepard asked.

 _"… cycle… keep dying… we have to make it stop!"_ the voice flowed in and out between the buzzing sounds.

They were deep in a mining shaft, Shepard didn't know how the monkeys had managed to get in here but they had taken over the place. Finally, one of them dropped the data module. They were leaving to go back to the Mako but were ambushed by geth. They must have come in the mine behind Shepard's team.

"What fucking cycle? And what is that gods be damned buzzing? Hello?" Shepard's subconscious yelled.

 _"Damn it. Can you hear me?"_ the voice whispered.

"Yeah, I can hear you. Who the hell are you?" Shepard demanded.

 _"We are you,"_ the whispering said.

Shepard awoke with a start, sitting up in the hospital bed her eyes darted around the room frantically. Dr. Chakwas was rushing to her side, Shepard could see her mouth moving but all she could hear was the buzzing in her head. Dr. Tulina stood from her desk and crossed the room, concern written all over her face. Shepard's eyes darted between the two women. They were both talking but Shepard couldn't hear them. She closed her eyes and shook her head. When she opened them again Dr. Chakwas was scanning her with the omni-tool.

"… inflammation is down… oxygen normal… understand why…" Dr. Chakwas voice was beginning to cut through.

Dr. Tulina was reaching her hands out towards Shepard's face.

"… do it…" Dr. Chakwas voice said.

"… join…" Dr. Tulina said looking at Shepard.

Shepard nodded her head and the doctor placed her hands on her face. Shepard saw the asari's eyes turn black and she let her own eyes close. The buzzing grew louder almost to the point of pain and then suddenly it stopped. It was completely silent. Shepard couldn't hear the doctors talking or moving. She couldn't even hear her own breathing.

She was standing in emptiness, alone and blissfully silent. A figure appeared in the distance slowly walking towards Shepard. As it got closer, Shepard recognized the figure of Dr. Tulina. She stopped a few feet in front of Shepard.

"Hello, Commander Shepard," Dr. Tulina said clasping her hands in front of her.

"Dr. Tulina. What's going on, where are we?" Shepard asked.

"We are inside your mind, Commander. A temporary quiet space that I have created so that we may talk," Dr. Tulina said.

"Temporary?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, I am afraid so. When the joining ends, whatever sounds you were hearing will most likely return to you," Dr. Tulina said.

Shepard sat down and draped her arms across her knees. A moment later Dr. Tulina moved beside her and took up the same posture.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Dr. Tulina asked.

"I was dreaming about…" Shepard cut off when the nothingness shifted and she found herself sitting on the mossy ground of Eletania.

"Do not be alarmed, Shepard. This is good. This is simply your memory. It cannot harm you in any way. I was not sure if you would be able to pull up a complete recall or not. Most humans have difficulty with this," Dr. Tulina said. "In this way, I will be able to see exactly what you saw. Hear exactly what you heard, and even share in your emotional and psychological responses that you had at that time."

Shepard stayed quiet for a long moment before continuing, "I was dreaming about being in the Mako on Eletania…"

Shepard trailed off again but the memory kept going. Dr. Tulina watched as Shepard's dream played out around them. Dr. Tulina put a hand up to halt Shepard. The dream paused around them.

"Commander Shepard, is this yourself you are dreaming of?" Dr. Tulina asked.

"Yes, but I've never been here before. Why?" Shepard asked.

"Commander, look closely at what you are seeing through your dreams eyes," Dr. Tulina paused to watch Shepard.

Shepard looked at the image of her body standing in front of the orb. She didn't understand what it was the doctor wanted her to see until finally something stood out.

"Oh my gods… that's not my hand," Shepard gasped.

The offending hand in question had longer, thinner fingers and a much darker skin tone than Shepard's.

"But it's me. I can… I can feel it," Shepard said.

"Try to stay calm, Commander. Let us finish the memory," Dr. Tulina said.

Shepard stared at the hand a moment longer before the memory began to play out again. Dr. Tulina stirred beside Shepard when Shepard's voice rang out in the dream and was responded to by a second whispering voice but she stayed quiet and only observed. Shepard sat focused beside the doctor, taking in every scrap and every detail.

"That's my voice, isn't it?" Shepard asked quietly and the memory paused. "The whispering… it's my voice."

"I believe so, Commander Shepard," Dr. Tulina said.

Shepard turned to look at the woman, "What does that mean?"

"I am afraid I do not have an answer for you," Dr. Tulina said calmly.

Shepard let the memory continue. She stopped it again when the image showed her glancing down at her body. His body. It was a male's torso, not her own body by any means. Shepard put a hand over her mouth and looked at the scene for long quiet minutes.

"Is this still you that you were dreaming about, Commander?" Dr. Tulina asked quietly from beside her.

Shepard slowly shook her head. Dr. Tulina did not press Shepard, only sat quietly with her until she was ready to let the memory continue. When it did, the two voices of Shepard had returned accompanied by the buzzing Shepard had been hearing.

Shepard saw Dr. Tulina flinch when the geth showed up and paused the memory.

"Are you sure you want to see the fighting, Dr. Tulina?" Shepard asked.

"I am certain, please continue," Dr. Tulina said and so Shepard did.

The memory faded away replaced by the nothingness once more. The quiet echo of the whispering voice proclaiming 'we are you' was a bit slower to fade. Shepard and Dr. Tulina sat in silence next to each other for a few minutes before Dr. Tulina spoke.

"What does seeing this again make you think, Commander?" Dr. Tulina asked.

"That I'm far crazier than even I thought," Shepard responded.

"I do not believe that to be true, Commander. I have been inside many human minds suffering from one form of mental illness or another and yours is nothing like theirs. I felt the veil that Dr. T'soni spoke of. I built this place up around us in the small places between it and your own mind," Dr. Tulina said.

"What is it?" Shepard whispered.

"I am afraid I do not know, but I am firmly convinced of two things. The first, it was not caused by the beacon and is not of prothean origins. The second, this veil, it is a part of you yet it does not originate from you," Dr. Tulina said.

"What the hell does that mean? Like it's some kind of parasite or something?" Shepard asked.

"No, it does not have a physical existence of any sort. Every scan Dr. Chakwas has taken, every blood sample, every urine sample has been clean of any traces of anything unusual. I doubt that anything outside of joining with an asari would have ever revealed it at all," Dr. Tulina paused. "In fact, I think that any joining with any other asari besides Dr. T'soni would not have ever revealed the veil."

"What's special about Liara?" Shepard asked.

"You are what is special about Liara. Rather, you are special to Liara. Her fondness for you instilled a diligence in her that any other asari would not have had. I doubt that even I with my years of experience in my chosen field would have noted the veil had I not already seen it in Liara's mind," Dr. Tulina said.

"I had no idea I meant so much to Liara," Shepard said.

"Yes, well, perhaps that is something the two of you should discuss together?" Dr. Tulina suggested.

Shepard nodded, "So what now?"

"Now, if you will, I would like to see what happened when you woke up just before I brought you here," Dr. Tulina said.

Shepard let the memory unfold around them, her jaw clenching at the buzzing sound. When it was finished she looked to Dr. Tulina.

"You were terrified. I imagine I would have felt much the same," Dr. Tulina said softly.

"What do you think that sound is?" Shepard asked.

Dr. Tulina sat quietly in thought; she pursed her lips and tilted her head to the side.

"I think that the buzzing is the sound the whispering voice makes when it can't break through," Dr. Tulina said.

"Like static on a radio?" Shepard asked.

"Indeed. I think that you are hearing the voice when you are awake as well, but for some reason either it isn't strong enough to always be heard, or your will is too strong for it to break through," the doctor said.

"It only just started after Liara and I joined minds. The other symptoms – I assume you read about them?" Shepard paused and Dr. Tulina nodded. "They started shortly after the beacon and have grown stronger. We thought that it must be the beacon that caused them."

"The reports said that you heard a screaming in your mind during the joining. Liara heard a distant whispering that she couldn't make out," Dr. Tulina began. "It is my belief, now, that the veil took advantage of the altered state of consciousness Liara's joining induced and broke through enough to deliver a message to you. One that came in the form of screaming in your mind yet was only a passable whisper in Liara's mind. I believe that the sheer force that it must have taken the veil – perhaps we should think of another name for whatever it is – is what caused your physical symptoms."

Shepard waved her hand around, "And now that it has its foot in the door, so to speak, it isn't letting go but the door is closed enough that it can't barge through."

Dr. Tulina chuckled, "That sounds like an adequate metaphor. For what it is worth, it does not appear that it means you harm but it is desperate to be heard. My suggestion is that you learn to listen," Dr. Tulina said.

Shepard threw her head back and laughed, "You want me to listen to the voices in my head? That's priceless. Never thought I'd hear a shrink say that."

Dr. Tulina smiled, "Yes well, I suppose I am not your average 'shrink'."

"No, I suppose not," Shepard said.

Dr. Tulina rose to her feet so Shepard did the same.

"You might also try talking to it," Dr. Tulina said. "Often times when we talk, we are subconsciously admitting a willingness to also listen. It is the nature of conversation."

"What should I even say?" Shepard asked.

Dr. Tulina smirked, "You might start by asking it to stop yelling. I am sorry, but I feel myself weakening. I must retreat now and end the joining."

"Wait, Dr. Tulina. In case I'm not able to say it when this is over: thank you," Shepard said.

"It was my pleasure, Commander," Dr. Tulina said.

The figure of Dr. Tulina began to fade and with it the place of quiet nothingness.


	17. Chapter 16: Foreknowledge Is Power

**Chapter 16: Foreknowledge Is Power**

Shepard had hoped that Dr. Tulina's personal escapades into her mind would remove the need for the psych eval. Evidently she was sorely mistaken. The doctor was giving her the full works and Shepard was starting to think that if she ever had to look at another ink blot, somebody was going to lose some teeth.

After Dr. Tulina's emergency joining had ended, the buzzing in Shepard's brain returned with full force. It lowered in volume almost immediately after. Shepard wondered if the veil was somehow pissed off that it had been denied access to her mind for that short time. Either way, she was happy that it calmed down and had stayed relatively manageable throughout the rest of the morning. Shepard had taken Dr. Tulina's advice and was now talking to the veil, though only silently in her thoughts. She'd be damned if she let anyone hear her talking out loud to the voices in her head. Voices, plural. She might have only heard one voice in the dream, but she remembered all too clearly the sounds of countless voices during her joining with Liara. Now she just thought of them collectively as 'the veil'. She hadn't said much to it so far, mostly just told it that she knew it was there and if it could please try to talk a little quieter, she would work on trying to figure out how to hear it more clearly. If the level of buzzing was any indication, the veil seemed content with that.

"Why do we need to talk about Mindoir?" Shepard asked Dr. Tulina.

"Because, Commander, it was an incredibly traumatic event and those tend to stick with us throughout life. Especially when the trauma occurs when we are as young as you were on Mindoir," Dr. Tulina said.

"But I'm fine with it. Well, I'm not _fine_ with it, obviously, but I mean I've dealt with it as much as anyone ever can. I spent years in therapy after watching my parents get slaughtered by the batarians. I passed the Alliance's psych eval when I signed up," Shepard said.

"I understand that, Commander, but with all due respect I have been informed of a recent event that took place on the Citadel in which you were called in to help talk down a woman with a gun, a woman that had been captured during the same raid on Mindoir. I was told that you had somewhat of an emotional break down on the Citadel shortly after," Dr. Tulina said.

"Ah," Shepard said.

"Ah?" Dr. Tulina repeated.

"That might have been a lie. Still, Liara shouldn't have told you that, it was a private moment," Shepard said.

"How was it a lie, Commander?" Dr. Tulina asked indulgently.

"I wasn't breaking down because of Talitha. I mean, yeah, it hurt like hell seeing her like that and I had a moment of guilt knowing that I escaped that same torture when she wasn't as lucky but I was upset about something completely different," said Shepard.

"What were you upset about, Commander?" Dr. Tulina asked.

For Shepard's privacy, Dr. Chakwas had agreed to allow the psych eval to take place in Shepard's cabin. Shepard was now sitting across from Dr. Tulina in much the same positions as she had from Liara that last time she was in there.

Shepard squirmed in her chair, "I saw something… unsettling. And I thought I was going crazy."

"What did you see, Commander?" Dr. Tulina pressed.

Shepard squirmed again and scratched at her head, "This is completely confidential, right? I mean, you can't even give Dr. Chakwas my specific answers to any of these questions, right?"

"This is something you don't want Dr. Chakwas to know?" Dr. Tulina asked.

"That's not an answer," Shepard narrowed her eyes.

"Very well. Yes, Commander. This is completely confidential and I cannot divulge your specific answers to anyone else without your explicit permission unless I deem your responses to be indicative that you are a threat to yourself or someone else," Dr. Tulina said.

"I haven't actually told this to Dr. Chakwas. I mean, I let her know that I had been getting flashes of things but I didn't give her specifics," Shepard said.

"Commander Shepard, you are avoiding answering the question," Dr. Tulina gently chided.

Shepard sighed, "I was in the middle of talking to an asari diplomat in a bar on the Citadel. Nassana Dantius. I won't go into the details of our conversation right now, they aren't important. Anyway, I closed my eyes for a second and suddenly it was like I was standing somewhere else."

Shepard leaned forward and put her elbows on her knees, "I was in an office somewhere with people I'm pretty sure I've never met in my life but somehow knew. Nassana was standing across from me behind a desk with armed mercs behind her. A tile in the ceiling slid over and a drell dropped into the room. He killed them all in a heartbeat. It was crazy the way he moved. Definitely a professional. So yeah, anyway, I was freaked out because one minute I was talking to Nassana on the Citadel, the next I was watching her be murdered in an office god knows where."

Dr. Tulina quietly typed on her datapad for a moment, "And did you try to warn Nassana that you thought her life might be in danger?"

Shepard scoffed, "You're joking, right?"

"Why would I be joking?" Dr. Tulina asked.

"What was I supposed to say? 'Oh hey, by the way, I know this sounds completely crazy but I just had a vision of you being murdered at some point in an office somewhere by a drell assassin.' Come on, doc, you can't be serious?" said Shepard.

Dr. Tulina moved on to her next question and Shepard sighed in frustration. She raked a hand through her hair and started pacing the room. Why do these things have to take so damn long, Shepard thought. At least she was able to actually pace without feeling like she was going to fall face first to the floor.

An hour later and they were finally done. Dr. Tulina stood and put a hand on Shepard's shoulder. Shepard looked at the other woman and raised an eyebrow.

"Thank you, Commander. Trust me; these evaluations are excruciatingly long for me as well. You did well, though. I will work on putting together the formal report today and have it submitted to your medical records for the Normandy by this evening. You have nothing to worry about. Well, at least from the psych eval," Dr. Tulina said giving Shepard's shoulder a squeeze.

Shepard breathed a sigh of relief, "Thanks, Dr. Tulina."

Shepard grudgingly made her way back to the med bay. She swore she was sleeping in her own bed tonight whether Dr. Chakwas liked it or not. She sat down in the chair next to the hospital bed and Dr. Chakwas frowned. Shepard pretended not to see as she picked up a datapad and began scrolling through her reports.

After the joining, when Dr. Tulina filled Dr. Chakwas in on what she had discovered, Dr. Chakwas had been very skeptical. She had insisted on performing more scans and tests right away but Dr. Tulina had convinced her to give Shepard some time to try to take control over the situation. Shepard was grateful for Dr. Tulina's interference, even if Dr. Chakwas was decidedly not. Dr. Chakwas wasn't going to forget so easily though and Shepard could see her opening her omni-tool for another scan now. Shepard sighed and set the datapad aside.

"Alright, doc, go ahead," Shepard said.

The doctor passed her omni-tool in front of Shepard several times, checking the screen after each pass. She clucked her tongue before finally closing the omni-tool. Shepard raised an eyebrow in silent question.

"I'm still not finding anything out of the ordinary, Commander. You'll be happy to know that the inflammation is mostly gone at this point, however. I believe you will be able to return to active duty in a few more days if you continue to progress at this pace," Dr. Chakwas said.

"A few more days?! You said I had to stay in here two more days when I woke up!" Shepard said.

"I said you could leave the bed after two days, I did not say you could go planet side and get shot at after two days, Commander," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard groaned, "Doc, you're killing me."

Dr. Chakwas chuckled, "Now you sound like Joker."

Shepard scrunched up her nose, "I'm going to go put on some real clothes and I'm sleeping in my own bed tonight."

Dr. Chakwas raised an eyebrow, "Very well, Commander. I can link your omni-tool to mine and watch your vitals from here. You must leave your door unlocked, however, so that I can get to you if needed."

Shepard grinned with the victory and stood up to leave. She heard Dr. Tulina's soft chuckle and turned to see the woman's back shaking with suppressed laughter. Shepard kind of liked Dr. Tulina, she might keep her around for a while. She left the med bay and headed straight for her cabin waving at Kaidan and Ashley along the way. Shepard noticed that Ashley had been spending a lot of her free time at Kaidan's station, and she had a lot of free time with Shepard being stuck in the med bay.

"Need help, Commander?" Ashley asked.

"Nope, I got this, Chief. Thanks," Shepard said.

In her cabin, Shepard didn't even wait until she had fresh clothes set out before stripping off the hospital gown and tossing it at her desk. She was bent over with her ass in the air digging through her footlocker when her cabin door slid open behind her.

"Oh, crap, sorry ma'am," Ashley's startled voice said.

Shepard jumped and turned around to see Ashley and Kaidan standing in her doorway. Ashley's hand was up covering Kaidan's eyes. Kaidan's face was beet red and Ashely was laughing. Shepard grabbed the sheet from her bed and wrapped it around herself before waving at Ashley to leave Kaidan be. Ashley dropped her hand but Kaidan kept his eyes on the ceiling.

"Sorry to bother you, ma'am," Ashley said, "But Joker just contacted us with a report of geth activity on the planet below."

"Damn it. OK, you two, suit up now," Shepard said.

"Commander, with all due respect ma'am, you should let one of us lead this one. Dr. Chakwas hasn't released you to active duty yet," Kaidan said his eyes finally flickering to look at Shepard before returning to the ceiling.

Shepard opened her omni-tool, she hated to pull this card but she was going down there. She needed to see if the things from her dream were true. She used her omni-tool to call Dr. Chakwas.

"What is it, Commander? Is everything alright?" Dr. Chakwas voice came through.

"Geth have been spotted on the ground. Spectre authority. I'm going down. You can lock me in the med bay when I get back," Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas mouth formed a tight line, "Commander, I highly recommend against this course of action."

"Noted," Shepard said before ending the call.

She looked up at Kaidan and Ashley. Kaidan was frowning and she could feel the worry seeping off of him in waves. Ashley only smirked.

"Come on, LT, let's get suited up," Ashley said slapping the back of her hand against Kaidan's stomach.

He grunted in response and left with Ashely. The buzzing in Shepard's head began to grow louder so she sat down on the edge of her bed and tried to quiet her mind.

"What is it?" she asked the veil.

The buzzing lowered in volume but the intensity remained the same.

 _"… stupid… get yourself killed… not important… risk,"_ the faint voice broke through the noise.

Shepard shifted around uneasily on the bed.

"Holy shit. This is really happening," Shepard whispered to the room.

The buzzing intensified, agitated by her response.

"OK, OK. Relax. I'm fine. It will be fine. I need to go, I need to see," Shepard said.

The veil didn't seem to like that too much as it continued to buzz loudly in her head. Shepard stood up and started getting dressed, doing her best to ignore the incoherent complaints. On her way out of her cabin she paused by the door to speak to the veil.

"I'm going, and that's final. If you're so concerned about my safety, then perhaps you should can it so I'm not distracted by your noise," Shepard barked to the empty room.

The buzzing grew louder for a second before settling down to a barely there whisper in her mind.

"Thank you," Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas was waiting outside of Shepard's cabin with a frown on her face and a handful of patches. Shepard took the patches and tucked them into a pocket.

"I'll be fine, doc," Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas scoffed before turning her back to Shepard and walking away. Shepard got her armor and weapons before meeting the others at the Mako. She agreed to let Kaidan drive and Ashley man the guns to placate Kaidan's concerns. They piled into the Mako and buckled in, prepared for the drop.

A few minutes later the cargo bay door opened and the Mako was being rolled to the edge. Those few seconds of freefall in the Mako were enough to make her question her own judgement as her head started to spin. When the Mako hit the ground, jostling her around she couldn't stop the groan that escaped her lips. Kaidan's eyes were locked on her when the Mako settled.

"I'm fine, let's go," Shepard said.

Kaidan frowned and checked the Mako's scanners.

Shepard leaned forward and studied the screen, tapping an unmarked location to the north.

"We're going there," Shepard said.

"Commander, the drone's signal is coming from there," Kaidan said pointing to the marked location on the map.

"Yeah, but the data module isn't there anymore. The monkeys stole it. It's in a mine somewhere up here," she said tapping the screen again.

Kaidan and Ashley were both quiet so Shepard looked up from the screen. Kaidan was looking at her like she was completely off her rocker. Shepard turned to look at Ashley who had an identical expression on her face. Her heart sank. She sat back in her seat and looked dead ahead.

"That's an order, Lieutenant," Shepard said firmly.

"Yes ma'am," Kaidan said before pushing the Mako forward.

The ride to the abandoned mine shaft was full of tense silence. Shepard refused to look at either of her teammates. She thought about trying to explain the veil to them, but she somehow knew that they would only take that as further proof that she had lost her mind. Perhaps she could have Dr. Tulina and Liara explain it to the crew. That idea didn't sit well with her so she pushed it aside for the time being. She wasn't really sure that she wanted everyone to know about the veil. It had been hard enough when she thought all of this was caused by the beacon. At least that was something they knew existed, something they had tangible evidence of. The only evidence of the veil was the word of two asari and Shepard's insistence that she was hearing voices in her head.

When the mineshaft loomed in the distance, Shepard felt Kaidan's eyes on her again. She didn't turn to meet his eyes. Kaidan pulled the Mako up to the ramp that led to the shaft, avoiding running over several small monkey-like creatures that were roaming around the area. Shepard unbuckled herself and hopped out before Kaidan could fumble his way around an apology, or ask any uncomfortable questions. Shepard was at the top of the ramp bypassing the lock on the shaft's door when Ashley and Kaidan met up with her.

"If one of these monkeys has the data module, how'd they get into a locked mine shaft?" Ashley asked.

"I don't know, Williams. But obviously someone locked the door behind them. My guess is that it was the geth, be ready," Shepard said.

The door slid open and with guns out the group made their way down the tunnel and into the cavernous room. Shepard walked past several more of the monkey creatures as she made her way to the doors at the back. She paused momentarily, before moving to the door on the right. It opened up to another tunnel leading down to another room. Shepard holstered her pistol and let her eyes roam over the handful of monkeys in the area. She took one hesitant step forward and felt the buzzing in her mind get a little louder. She felt… encouragement coming from the noise and so made her way purposely towards the monkey at the very back of the room.

Shepard bent down in front of the furry creature, "Come here you. You have something that doesn't belong to you."

She slid her hands under the monkey's arms, intent on picking it up but the creature squirmed and made a chirping sound. It dropped the data module on the floor of the cave and scampered away from Shepard.

"Well I'll be damned," Ashley said as Shepard picked up the data module and handed it to Kaidan.

She took her gun out again and said, "They're will be geth in the main room now."

Kaidan looked chagrined as he secured the data module but didn't speak. They turned and made their way back up the tunnel to face the geth. There was plenty of cover in the shaft; old abandoned crates littered the area. Shepard ducked behind the nearest one as the buzzing in her head replaced itself with that sixth sense she had called upon on Feros. Shepard anticipated the movements of the geth, avoiding their line of sight and dodging rockets as she moved from cover to cover. With each new position she took, more geth fell. Kaidan and Ashely stayed close to their Commander, their faith in her renewed but still concerned for her physical safety. Kaidan used his biotics to keep as many geth off of their feet as he could, and when one got a little too close for his comfort he would wrap it up in a Stasis until Shepard had moved to a safer location. Ashley kept her focus to the sides, picking off any of the geth that thought it wise to try to flank the team.

After a minute of constant gunfire, the room fell silent and the only sound Shepard could hear over her pounding head was her own labored breathing. She looked over the room, her eyes darting about checking and double checking that there were no more geth. When she was certain they were in the clear, she holstered her gun and made her way back towards the exit.

Once in the Mako again, Shepard dug out one of the patches Dr. Chakwas had given her, peeling the old one off she replaced it with a new one.

"Are you alright, Commander?" Kaidan asked.

"Yeah, head hurts but I think it's mostly from the echo of gunfire in the mine on top of whatever else is going on in there," she said pointing to her head.

"I'll call the Normandy for pickup," he said.

"No, wait. There is something else here I wanted to see," She leaned towards the map and studied the screen before pointing to the location of the prothean ruins.

She was glad Kaidan didn't argue, only started driving to the location she indicated. She let her head relax against the back of the seat and closed her eyes. The buzzing had returned, but was staying at a low level. Soon, the medication was doing its job and the throbbing began to ease. She looked up when the Mako rolled to a stop.

"What is that thing?" Ashley asked from the back.

Shepard studied the silver globe, "Prothean."

She opened the door of the Mako and hopped down to the mossy ground below. Ashley and Kaidan followed after her. Shepard was already digging around for the trinket that Shiala had given her back on the Citadel. It was a flat sheet of metal the size of a deck of cards with various shapes and lines cut out of it in some areas, and raised in others. She walked up to the globe and slid the trinket into the slot on the globe. A blinding flash of light sent Shepard staggering back.

Kaidan reached out for Shepard, catching her in his arms before she could hit the ground.

"Shepard! Commander, what's happening?" Kaidan yelled but Shepard did not respond.

"Lay her down, LT," Ashley instructed and Kaidan lowered Shepard to the stone floor beneath the orb.

"Shore party to Normandy, do you copy?" Kaidan said into his radio.

"Normandy here," Joker responded.

"You need to lock in on our location and get here on the double. The Commander has fainted again," Kaidan said.

"On our way, Normandy out," Joker said.

Shepard opened her eyes and started to push herself to her feet.

"No, Commander wait. You shouldn't move, you passed out," Ashley said.

"What the fuck was that?" Shepard asked rising to her feet despite Ashley's protests.

Kaidan hovered nearby ready to catch her again if she started to fall.

"I don't know, Commander. There was a flash of light and you just fell. LT caught you before you could hit the ground," Ashley said.

"No, not the light. The rest of that? You guys didn't see any of that?" Shepard asked confused.

"Sorry Commander, all we saw was a light and then you fell," Kaidan said. "I thought you were hurt again, so I called the Normandy for pickup."

Shepard could already see the Normandy flying towards them.

"Damn it, Dr. Chakwas is going to be all over my ass," Shepard groaned.

"What did you see, Commander?" Kaidan asked.

"I… I think it was the memory of a caveman – Cro-Magnon or whatever you call them – who was abducted and tagged by protheans. I don't know it was weird though, it wasn't just images like with the beacon. It was like I _was_ the caveman, like I was living his life," Shepard turned to look back at the orb and pulled the metal plate back out of the slot.

The Normandy arrived and they got back in the Mako to be picked up. When the Mako was secure in the cargo bay, Shepard got out only to be met with a pissed off looking Dr. Chakwas and a very worried Liara. Shepard held her hands up in surrender.

"I'm fine, I swear, I'm fine. It was the prothean device doing its thing," Shepard said. "Go ahead, scan me."

Dr. Chakwas opened her omni-tool and scanned Shepard right there in the cargo bay. Garrus stood by watching with amusement and Shepard smiled at him. His mouth shifted into a turian smile, his mandibles fluttering with inaudible laughter.

"Shepard, did you say prothean device?" Liara asked all traces of worry replaced with curiosity.

"Yeah, here, you keep this. I'll tell you all about it when the doc is done convincing herself I'm not dying," Shepard said handing Liara the trinket.

Dr. Chakwas scoffed, "You're fine. The inflammation levels are the same. Your heart rate is a little high but its dropping."

"See? Nothing to worry about," Shepard said with a grin.

Liara twirled the metal plate around in her hands, running her fingers over the ridges and grooves. Shepard was reminded of what Dr. Tulina said about Liara's fondness for Shepard and knew that she was going to have to talk to Liara in private sometime very soon.

"Still, Commander, I want you back in the med bay once you're out of that armor," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard only responded with another grin. Dr. Chakwas turned and walked away. Liara followed at Shepard's side as she made her way up to her locker. Shepard recounted the strange event from the prothean device as they went, answering Liara's questions and providing her with as much detail as she could.

"I do not know anything about human evolution, what time period would you say you were in?" Liara asked.

Shepard scrunched up her nose as she stuffed her armor into the locker, "Liara, I honestly haven't a clue. I'm a solider, that's not really my field of expertise. I tell you what, do some research on human evolution and when Dr. Chakwas says that it's safe, I'll let you go digging around up there to see it all for yourself, OK?"

"Oh, no, Shepard," Liara took a step back and shook her head, "I do not think that is a very good idea. After what happened to you –."

Shepard cut her off by putting a hand on either shoulder. Liara looked up into Shepard's eyes.

"Liara, that was not your fault. You have to stop blaming yourself for that," Shepard said firmly.

"But Commander, I –," Liara started to say.

"But nothing. It wasn't your fault. Period. Dr. Tulina agrees and even Dr. Chakwas doesn't think that it was the joining," Shepard said letting her hands drop to her sides. "Look, Dr. Tulina told me that this thing… this veil… she said that she doesn't think that anyone other than an asari – anyone other than you, ever would have been able to find it. I wouldn't even know it was there if it weren't for you."

"Perhaps not but if it had been an older asari, one more experienced, then perhaps…" Liara trailed off when she saw Shepard's reproachful look.

"Come on let's go to your office. We need to talk," Shepard said.

Shepard led Liara through the med bay and towards her office door. Dr. Chakwas started to say something but Dr. Tulina reached out and placed a hand on Dr. Chakwas' shoulder. Dr. Chakwas turned her head to Dr. Tulina and Dr. Tulina shook her head slightly before whispering something in the other woman's ear.

"I see," Dr. Chakwas said before turning back to her desk.

In Liara's office, Shepard leaned against the wall next to the door. Liara laid the metal plate Shepard had given her carefully down on a shelf before slowly turning to face Shepard.

"Liara, I think that I may have been overlooking something important. Something that had I realized before now… I want you to know that I wouldn't have just brushed your feelings aside," Shepard began hesitantly.

Liara's face began to take on a purple hue and she suddenly became very interested in her own hands. Shepard rubbed her forehead.

"Gods I suck at this. What I'm trying to say is... it has been brought to my attention that you might have… feelings for me that maybe go beyond friendship?" Shepard paused realizing that it sounded more like a question than a statement.

Liara wasn't denying it though, so Shepard continued hoping that she wasn't making a complete ass out of herself, "If I had known, I would have talked to you about this sooner. The last thing I want is to cause you or anyone else on this ship any kind of pain."

"Shepard, stop. You do not have to do this. I already know that what I feel is not reciprocated. I could feel that it was not there when we were joined. I know where your heart is leading you, and you need make no apologies for what you do or do not feel," Liara said still studying her hands.

"I – I don't know what you mean about where my heart is leading me, but –," Shepard started.

"It's Garrus," Liara whispered.

"What?" Shepard asked almost afraid to hear the answer again.

"Your heart, it is leading you to Garrus. I had thought for a brief time that Kaidan's obvious interest in you was going to win your heart, but then I heard that you turned him away. Then I had hoped… I thought that it might just be possible… I mean you seemed to really enjoy spending time with me," Liara said.

"I do enjoy spending time with you, Liara!" Shepard insisted.

Liara continued on as if Shepard hadn't spoken at all, "Then there was the confusion over Joker's ship wide announcement."

"He was just giving me a hard time," Shepard said.

"Then, I joined with you again to search out the veil and while your attempts to quiet your mind were admirable, there were things that leaked through," Liara said finally looking at Shepard with damp eyes. "Not just thoughts, but emotional responses to those thoughts. Some of them I admit were confusing to me, but there was one about Garrus that needed no explanation. It was a memory of him whispering in your ear, and the way your heart fluttered at the feeling of his breath on your skin."

"Liara, I – I'm not sure what it is that I feel for Garrus. Or why I even feel anything at all for him. I'm not going to try to lie to you and say that there isn't something there, but whatever it is, it's got no impact on what I do feel for you," Shepard said.

Liara swiped at the tears that had started to fall down her face.

"Liara, to put it as simply as I can, I think you are absolutely beautiful and it would be the worst kind of lie to tell you that I haven't given it thought," Shepard let the words rush out of her, "I just know that I'm in a terrible place right now; there is way too much crazy going on inside my head with the beacon and this veil thing – whatever the fuck it is, and this hunt to try to stop a mad man who is hell bent on bringing about a damn apocalypse… I'm barely holding it together, Liara. I can't imagine trying to be anything for anyone else – even Garrus – right now beyond Commander and friend."

Liara smiled and wiped at more tears, "You think I am beautiful?"

"I do," Shepard returned the smile.

"Shall I make an announcement to the crew?" Liara asked with a chuckle.

Shepard laughed and was glad to see it didn't hurt anymore to do so, "Come on now, that might make Joker jealous."

Shepard crossed the distance to stand in front of Liara, "You are very special to me, Liara. I don't know how I managed to win the heart of someone as amazing as you, and just as it did with Kaidan; it breaks a little piece of mine to know that it isn't something I can give back to you."

Liara sniffled, "I know Shepard. I felt that in the joining, too. You took comfort in the feel of your hands in mine, and that brings me peace."

Shepard smiled and opened her arms in offering of a hug. Liara stepped into the embrace and wrapped her arms around Shepard. They held each other close for a quiet moment before Liara spoke up again, her words muffled against Shepard's shoulder.

"There is one thing that I have been terribly confused about, if you would not mind providing some clarification?" Liara asked her natural inquisitive nature taking over again.

"What's that?" Shepard asked letting go of the asari so she could look at her face.

"There was an image in your mind, of Kaidan shifting into Ashley and then back again," Liara said.

"I'm not really sure what that one means, either, to be honest. I've been having these strange dreams and flashes of things while I'm awake. Courtesy of the veil if Dr. Tulina is correct," Shepard leaned against Liara's desk. "Awhile back I was talking to Kaidan and I closed my eyes for a second, when I did I got these flashes in my mind. In the vision, it was Kaidan and then suddenly it was Ashley. It switched back and forth like that a couple of times. We were in the exact same place, and they were saying the same thing. I have no clue what it meant, other than they were certainly not happy with me."

The buzzing picked up in Shepard's head again and she silently asked, "What is it?"

 _"… dies… choose…"_ the voice said.

"How fascinating. With whom did the original conversation take place?" Liara asked.

"What? Who dies? Choose what?" Shepard silently asked, now oblivious to Liara's question.

 _"… Virmire… choice…one of them…"_ the voice whispered in Shepard's mind.

"Commander?" Liara sounded worried.

Shepard snapped her eyes to Liara, "What? Sorry, I have to… I should go… the veil… I'll explain later!"

Shepard ran out of Liara's office and skid to a stop in front of Dr. Tulina.

"Commander! You are still recovering, I insist that you –," Dr. Chakwas started to say.

"Dr. Tulina, I might need you. Now!" Shepard barked, cutting Dr. Chakwas off.

Shepard didn't wait to see if the asari was following her or not before leaving the med bay and running to her cabin. She slammed her hand on the panel and the door slid open. Shepard rushed inside and started pacing.

"Who is going to die? How?" Shepard demanded of the veil, not bothering to keep her words silent.

Dr. Tulina entered the cabin just then and stood watching as Shepard paced furiously.

 _"... Alenko … Williams… only save one…"_ the whispering cut in and out of the buzzing sound.

"Why? Why can I only save one?" Shepard barked.

 _"… separate… no time…"_ said the voice.

"I don't understand!" Shepard yelled.

"Commander. Commander, Shepard," Dr. Tulina demanded Shepard's attention.

Shepard stopped to look at Dr. Tulina, Shepard's fear and helplessness was nearly palpable.

"Commander, try asking the veil to show you instead. That has been easier in the past, no?" Dr. Tulina suggested.

Shepard didn't have to ask, the scene was already unfolding before her eyes. Shepard threw a hand out to steady herself and Dr. Tulina grabbed Shepard, wrapping an arm around her waist.

She was standing on a beach on Virmire, Ashley and Kaidan at her back. A salarian stood in front of her, Major Kirrahe, he was outlining a plan of attack and asked for Shepard to send one of her team along with him.

"We'll need someone who knows Alliance communication protocols," Shepard said.

"I volunteer, Commander," Kaidan said.

"Not so fast, LT. Commander Shepard will need you to arm the nuke. I'll go with the salarians," Ashley said.

"With all due respect, Gunnery Chief, it's not your place to decide," Kaidan said.

"Why is it that whenever someone says 'with all due respect' they really mean 'kiss my ass'?" Ashley said.

"Williams, you'll accompany the captain. No heroics, understood?" Shepard said.

The vision blackened and when it resumed, Shepard's perspective had shifted upwards as if she were taller now.

"Alenko, you're with the captain. Keep it simple, understood?" Shepard said with a man's voice.

She was somewhere else now. Shepard was standing in water up to her knees watching as Kaidan and the others unloaded the bomb.

"Bomb is in position, we're all set here," Kaidan was speaking into the comm.

Ashley's voice cut through, "Commander, can you read me?"

"The nuke is almost ready. Get to the rendezvous point, Williams!" Shepard said.

"Negative, Commander. The geth have us pinned down on the AA tower. We've taken heavy casualties," Ashley responded. "We'll never make the rendezvous point in time."

"Get them out of there, Joker. Now!" Shepard ordered.

"Negative! It's too hot! Can't risk it. We'll hold them off as long as we –," Ashley said.

"It's OK, Commander. I need a couple of minutes to finish arming the bomb. Go get them and meet me back here," Kaidan said.

"Up to the AA tower. Move!" Shepard ordered to her team.

Shepard ran for the door with Tali and Garrus at her side. There were two krogan waiting on the other side. They fought their way through the krogan and got back in the elevator. On the walkways, a geth ship flew overhead towards the bomb site.

"Reinforcements, we'd better hurry," Garrus said.

"Heads up, LT. We just spotted a troop ship headed to your location." Ashley's voice came through the comm.

"It's already here. There's geth pouring out all over the bomb site," Kaidan responded.

"Can you hold them off?" Shepard asked.

"There's too many. I don't think we can survive until you get here," Kaidan said. "I'm activating the bomb."

"Alenko, what are you doing?" Shepard asked, torn between returning to Kaidan and finding Ashley.

"I'm just making sure this bomb goes off. No matter what," Kaidan said. "It's done, Commander. Go get Williams and get the hell out of here."

"Screw that! We can handle ourselves. Go back and get Alenko," said Ashley.

"Alenko, radio Joker and tell him to meet us at the bomb site," Shepard said.

"Yes, Commander. I…," Kaidan said.

"You know it's the right choice, LT," Ashley said.

"I'm sorry, Ash. I had to make a choice," said Shepard.

"I understand, Commander. I don't regret a thing," Ashley's proud voice said with conviction.

There was another shift in the scene; Shepard was once again a male.

"Williams, radio Joker and tell him to meet us at the AA tower," Shepard said.

"Yes, Commander. I…" Ashley said.

"It's the right choice and you know it, Ash," Kaidan said.

"I'm sorry, Kaidan. I had to make a choice," Shepard said.

"I understand, Commander. I don't regret a thing," Kaidan said with a hint of sorrow and unyielding compassion.

Shepard's eyes snapped open and she found that she was kneeling on the floor, sobbing in Dr. Tulina's arms.

"Commander Shepard, can you tell me what happened?" Dr. Tulina's soft voice spoke next to Shepard's ear.

"One of them will die. I'm going to have to choose which one I let die," Shepard sobbed.

"Who will die, Commander?" Dr. Tulina asked.

"Ashley or Kaidan. On Virmire. One of them will die and I'm going to be forced to choose which one," Shepard said.

"Show me, Commander?" Dr. Tulina asked.

Shepard nodded her head and took a deep breath. She felt Dr. Tulina's mind brush up against hers and then they were together in the quiet nothingness once more. Shepard didn't wait to be asked before letting the memory play through around them. Dr. Tulina stood beside Shepard in silence taking it all in. When the memory was over, Dr. Tulina released the connection to Shepard's mind.

"Why are you so certain that this will happen?" Dr. Tulina asked.

"It hasn't been wrong yet. Everything else… Eletania just a while ago. It was all the same," Shepard said.

"Was it? I overheard Kaidan just a few minutes ago telling Garrus how you went straight for the mine. You didn't even stop to check the drone, and he made no mention of you checking at the other monkey colonies. I seem to recall, in your dream, you stopped by each of the colonies, did you not?" Dr. Tulina said.

"Well… yeah… but that was only because I had the dream, I knew were the data module was going to be. I didn't need to go to the drone or the monkey colonies," Shepard said.

"And now, you have this vision," Dr. Tulina said simply.

Shepard stared at her wordlessly.

"You made changes based on the foreknowledge the dream provided you. Why do you think you cannot do the same with the foreknowledge this vision has provided you?" Dr. Tulina said.

Shepard sniffled once more and looked at Dr. Tulina, "My gods, I'm so dense."

Dr. Tulina chuckled, "Not at all, Commander. I think that what you are dealing with and how well you are dealing with it all shows just how remarkably intelligent you really are."

Shepard pulled herself to her feet, "I can't tell them this. I can't tell the others what I saw. That would be… that's just too much to lay on them, isn't it?"

Dr. Tulina rose gracefully and clasped her hands in front of her, "Commander, I cannot tell you what to do, but I would encourage you to think about this for a while before you decide how to proceed."

"Of course. Thank you, Dr. Tulina," Shepard said.

"Forgive me for saying, but this is truly the most astounding thing I have ever encountered in my life. I do not know if even I would believe any of it if I had not the privilege of seeing it for myself. Thank you, Commander, for entrusting me with this," Dr. Tulina said before bowing her head to Shepard. "I shall leave you to your thoughts."


	18. Chapter 17: I'm Listening Now, Jane

**Chapter 17: I'm Listening Now, Jane.**

 _Save them both. She's going to try to save them both. Will that work? Even before when we've told Kirrahe that we don't put our people under someone else' command, one of them still goes._

 _"… tell… maybe they'll listen…,"_ Jane's voice broke through Shepard's furious thought process.

"You think they can handle it?" Shepard asked pacing the floor of her cabin, no longer remembering to be alarmed by the fact that there was a voice talking to her inside her head.

 _Can they handle it? I don't fucking know! Does it matter?! They'll be alive._

 _"… matter… alive…,"_ said Jane.

 _But really, not like I don't want to save them both – even if they aren't my most favorite people in all the worlds – but we really, really have more pressing matters to talk about. Gods damn it, why can't you hear everything I'm saying? **She doesn't want to hear it,** o_ ne of the broken and fragmented voices bubbled up to the surface to snag at Jane's attention. _Oh, shut up! I wasn't talking to you. Dawn, listen, if you can't figure out how to break this cycle, when you die you're going to come back again. **Doesn't matter, none of this is real,** _ another voice intoned. _Shhh!_

"Yeah, it matters. If I tell them and they can't handle it, it could completely jeopardize the mission. I don't want either of them to die, but I can't let them stand in the way of stopping Saren," Shepard said. "What? What are you saying? I can't hear you, just all that damn buzzing. Slow down or something."

 _"… could jeopardize… I… know. This is… to me…,"_ said Jane.

"Oh for the love of gods, this isn't working. I need to think about this, and it isn't doing us any good to be orbiting Eletania while I do," Shepard said leaving her cabin to head to the CIC.

 _No, wait! Don't shut me out. Please don't shut me out! Damn it._

Shepard pulled open the galaxy map and set a course for the Kepler Verge before making her way down to the cargo bay.

 _Garrus will be happy to hear this. Just don't do anything stupid and try to talk him out of killing that son-of-a-bitch. He deserves the chance to end that fucker, and Dr. Saleon definitely deserves to die. Gods, look at that. Liara is definitely right. You absolutely light up when you see him now._

"Hey, Garrus, how's it going?" Shepard asked.

"Commander, I see you've escaped the clutches of Dr. Chakwas once more," his mandibles flared.

Shepard leaned against the Mako next to Garrus, "Yeah… I'm not her favorite person right now. I'd avoid the med bay for a while if you can. She's probably looking for someone else to poke and prod instead."

"Hmmm. I'll keep that in mind. So, Shepard, how are you? I mean, really, how are you?" Garrus asked leaning against the Mako a couple of feet away from Shepard and crossing his arms.

 _Don't tell him you're fine. He's being genuine with you here, Dawn. Trying to make a connection. Don't shut him down. I hear the things going through your head. Dr. Tulina is nice and all, but you need someone to lean on. You need someone to trust with this, and you're drawn to him._

Garrus turned his head to look at Shepard, the iris of his visor opening and closing. He made a low humming sound that sent chills down Shepard's spine before turning his side to the Mako to face her. Garrus glanced around the cargo bay taking in the eyes that were watching the two of them. Wrex didn't seem quite as interested in their conversation, but he was more likely to hear them than Ashley was. He opened the door to the Mako and held out a hand towards the seats inside, "Tell me about it?"

It wasn't a challenge; he wasn't C-Sec Detective Vakarian speaking to her but a friend offering to be a confidant.

 _Tell him. You can trust Garrus. Maybe more than anyone else on this ship._

 _"… won't betray… always by our… the end,"_ Jane's voice whispered to Shepard.

Shepard took a deep breath and relaxed before taking the plunge. She climbed inside the Mako with Garrus and started to talk, slowly at first but soon the words were coming from her with so much force she didn't think she could stop it if she wanted to. She told Garrus everything that she could think of to tell him. She told him about the veil that Liara found, and the way it screamed inside her head. Explained why Dr. Tulina was there and the way the asari had been helping Shepard to sift through the visions she was having. She told him all of the details of the vision she had of Virmire and the terrible choice she might have to make. She told him about the scars on his face, and the way that Kaidan shifted into Ashley and the look they had on their face. She told him what it felt like to die while the Normandy was torn to shreds. She held nothing back, laying all of her cards on the table and bared her soul to the turian, so utterly and completely in a way that she had never been able to do before in her life.

 _I regret that I never took the chance with Garrus when I was alive. I've only experienced his touch through the lives of the others. **Sharp teeth nipped gently at my skin,**_ one of the voices said bringing with it a flood of memories that Jane chose to ignore. _I chose Kaidan. **We fit together perfectly; the way humans are meant to,**_ another voice reminded Jane of just how right Kaidan had felt to her. _I remember I was so happy to see him on Horizon after Cerberus brought me back. I was so frustrated with Anderson for not telling me where he was and then, the Illusive Man played puppeteer and dropped me right on Kaidan's doorstep. Oh I was so happy to see him and it felt like coming home after a long deployment, being in his arms for just that brief moment. **He smelled like summer, but sounded like winter,**_ a sad and broken voice whispered. _But then he got so mad. I thought he would have been happier if I had stayed dead. **Should have stayed dead,**_ still another voice said. _Maybe he would have. It would have been less confusing for him, for sure. Gods it hurt so bad to watch him walk away from me that day. It's cut just as deep every time I've had to watch it through the eyes of the others since. Even when they weren't involved with Kaidan the way I was, even when it didn't hurt them as bad, it tore me apart. Maybe it was even worse than the first time around because he couldn't see me; he didn't know that I was still alive in there. Hell, those Kaidans never knew me at all._

 _Look at the way he's looking at you, Dawn. He's already yours if you were willing to reach out and take him. Ha! Of course he wants to know more about the scars. **Terrible scars, I woke up and I was covered with scars,**_ the voice sounded terrified. _As if everything else you just said pales in comparison. It's actually probably the last thing he's really worried about though. Just like him to deflect, hide his feelings. I can see the concern though. Can you? **I can see it,**_ answered one of the voices. _Can you see it there, in the tightness of his mandibles and the way his eyes have grown still; focused? You do see it. **Oh Garrus.**_ **_I'm so, so sorry._** _You should be; you let him die. **He died, we died, everyone died,**_ a voice giggled. _You let them all die. You are the worst of us. **Worst. Worst. Worst,**_ a chorus of voices echoed Jane.

Shepard laughed, "I don't know. I can't make out anything it's trying to say right now, it's all just buzzing."

"Hmmm. So, what do you think it is?" Garrus asked.

Shepard shrugged, "I don't know. I know it said 'we are you', whatever the fuck that means."

"So… what, like reincarnation or something?" Garrus asked.

"Stories of reincarnation never involved living through the exact same crap. Not that I've heard of anyway," Shepard said.

"But I mean, it can't just be psychic powers or whatever if in these visions you're different every time. Unless you're planning a sex change operation or something. I've been told you humans do that sometimes. Spirits, you are a weird species," Garrus said.

"I will shoot you, Vakarian," Shepard said with a smile.

 _Ha! No you won't. You would never. Not you. **I would,**_ a voice said. _Some of the others maybe could have, but not you._

The sound of Garrus' chuffing filled the cabin of the Mako, echoing back to Shepard and making her heart flutter. The iris on his visor narrowed.

"What was that for?" Garrus asked.

"What? You called my species weird. Again!" Shepard said.

"Not that, your heartrate changed," Garrus said.

"I – I don't know, I didn't notice anything," Shepard said grateful for the dim lighting of the Mako.

 _He's closer to the truth than you realize. I doubt this is what ancient philosophers had in mind when they first thought of reincarnation, but I mean, what else could this be called? **Hell,** _ a voice answered but Jane brushed it aside like all the rest.

Garrus twisted his torso so he could look at Shepard better, "Shepard. Are you… Do I… frighten you?"

 _Oh that's rich! Gods I forgot how clueless he can be at times, at least in the early days._

"What? No, Garrus. I'm not scared of you. Don't be ridiculous," Shepard said.

"It's not ridiculous. I've heard a lot of humans say that turians are scary looking. Sharp teeth, talons… I've been told before that I look like something out of a nightmare. You've even compared me to some of Earth's deadliest predators, Shepard," Garrus said.

"No, I compared you to a cute, cuddly kitten. They just happen to be related," Shepard said.

 _He is a cute, cuddly kitten. A very deadly, cute, cuddly kitten with a pension for sniper rifles._

Garrus chuffed again and Shepard's heart fluttered in response.

"It did it again! You are afraid aren't you? Spirits, Shepard, I'm not going to eat you," Garrus said turning back in his seat to stare at the controls.

 ** _Eat me, eat me all up,_** a voice giggled. _Yeah… I don't think he meant it like that… be quiet._

Shepard snorted at the pouting look on Garrus' face, "Garrus think about that for a second. Do you smell fear on me? I mean we're in the Mako, you would think it would reek of my fear if that were the case."

"No, but who knows what else you know how to hide," Garrus said.

 _He's got a point. I don't think we'd be able to hide the smell, but we know how to control our fear. To turn it off so that we can do what we must._

Shepard scoffed, "OK, if I were afraid of you, why would I be sitting here with you – alone telling you all this crap?"

Garrus lifted a shoulder and let it drop in a shrug. Shepard's hand reached out and tugged on his chin, turning his head to look at her. As soon as she realized what she had done she pulled her hand away and apologized.

"Sorry… that was… rude. Listen to me Garrus. I'm not afraid of you. I promise," Shepard said clasping her hands tightly in her lap to make them stay there.

 _Oh but he liked that you touched him, how did you not see that?_

Garrus chuffed.

"You did that on purpose!" Shepard laughed.

"Maybe," Garrus said.

"It's ah, an interesting sound. I guess… I kinda like it. Anyway, I should go. Get ready though, we're headed to meet that old friend of yours," Shepard said opening the Mako door and dropping to the floor below.

She turned back to look at him still sitting in the Mako, "I was thinking Wrex might be best to go with us on this one. That good with you?"

Garrus stared back at her for a long moment before speaking, "Sure. Works for me."

Shepard closed the door and headed for the elevator. Wrex and Ashley's inquisitive eyes followed her. Garrus was still sitting in the Mako by himself when the elevator doors closed on her.

 _"… talk … important… Virmire…,"_ Jane's voice said on the elevator ride up.

"What about Virmire?" Shepard silently asked.

 _"Wrex… if you… she'll…,"_ Jane said.

"What about Wrex?" Shepard asked.

 _"Williams… head… fast enough,"_ she said.

"OK, I'm not getting you. Can you just show me again?" Shepard asked.

Jane pulled up the conflicting memories of Shepard arguing with Wrex on the beaches of Virmire, showing them to Dawn. She pushed at the memory, bringing Shepard's attention to the images of Ashely walking further down the beach to stand behind Wrex. Jane focused in on the dialogue that would bring about Wrex's death, showing her all of the different things that she could say that would end with Ashley shooting Wrex. Then she showed him as he collapsed to the beach. Showed his blood pooling out around him, the water licking it up and carrying it back out to sea. She showed her Ashley lowering her gun.

Jane pushed those memories aside and pulled up one where Shepard was the one to pull the trigger. Dawn gasped as she saw her hands swinging the butt of a shotgun at Wrex's face. She made a strangling sound when she saw her hands pointing that same gun at Wrex's prone form and firing off several rounds.

 _No, no, it's OK don't freak out! This one's easy to fix, no here watch. **Son-of-a-bitch pointed his gun at me,** _ the voice who supplied that memory said. _Shut the fuck up!_

Jane brought up the memories of Wrex surviving as fast as she could. She showed Dawn that they were still on the beach arguing. Jane looped through the dialogue and actions that resulted in Wrex living, again, and again, and again until Dawn's breathing began to ease. The elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open. Shepard left the elevator on shaky legs and made her way to the med bay. She had spent hours in the Mako talking to Garrus, and she knew she had to face the music with Dr. Chakwas.

 _"… understand… to do?"_ Jane asked.

"Yeah. Dear gods, yeah," Shepard said rubbing her hands across her face and through her hair.

 _Damn that woman loves her needles and scans. Always with the scanning. Doesn't she ever get bored of looking at what's going on inside of you? You know, you really don't have to put up with this. I mean yeah, she could report to Alliance High Command, but you're a fucking Spectre. Anderson won't take the Normandy away from you; he wants Saren as much as you do. Maybe more._

Liara came out of her office while Dr. Chakwas was drawing Shepard's blood.

"Commander, there you are. Is everything alright? You ran out of here so quickly earlier," Liara said.

"Crap, yeah. Sorry Liara. I had meant to come talk to you some more and just got so caught up in… things. Sorry," Shepard said.

Jane could see the hurt etched on Liara's face from the shallow explanation, and Shepard could too. _That was week, she deserves better than that, Dawn._

"The veil, it said something to me and I had to figure out what it meant. It was important, but I'm not ready to talk about it just yet. I'm not sure how it changes things, I need some time to think about it first," Shepard said.

Liara's face lightened as a soft smile spread across her lips, "I see. Of course, Shepard, take all of the time you need. If you need anything, or just want to talk, you know where to find me,"

Shepard cringed inwardly but kept her face calm. She had just told Garrus everything with so much ease and trust but was denying Liara the same thing now. She was denying everyone else the same thing now.

 _So what? You aren't obligated to spill your guts to everyone who asks. You didn't lie to her and you let her know what you were comfortable with telling her right now. You didn't shut her out completely, that's what's important. You can't make everyone happy all of the time, Dawn. Trust me on that. I don't care how much you change, that's just a part of life. I think you might be far more compassionate than any of the rest of us ever were. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. It just makes it kind of difficult to relate to you at times. Hell, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's what is allowing me to get through to you at all. Strong willed, but a huge heart._

Shepard left the med bay and stopped in the mess hall to grab a light dinner before taking a shower. Dr. Chakwas seemed to have given up on trying corralling Shepard and was content to take her scans when Shepard permitted. Shepard turned the hot water up as high as she could stand it and leaned against the shower wall resting her head on her forearms.

 _You'll get through this, Dawn. You'll get us all through this. I believe that now. There is no turning back. Too much has already changed. **Changed,**_ a voice echoed the sentiment. _You have to get through this, Dawn. You have to put an end to this. I'm so tired. **Tired,**_ another voice bubbled up.

Shepard finished her shower and made her way back to her bed. She crawled between the sheets and buried her face in her pillow before flipping over to her back. She stared up at the dark ceiling and fought back the urge to cry.

"What are you?" Shepard whispered to the veil.

" _… you… over and over… never stops… cycle… you have to… save us,"_ Jane whispered back.

"I can hear you a little better now. Who is 'us'? The cycle, you mean the reapers? I'm trying, that's why I'm going after Saren," Shepard asked her eyelids were already beginning to droop.

 _"… reapers… maybe… don't really… we keep… starts all… tired,"_ Jane said.

Shepard fell asleep. Jane showed her sleeping mind images of all of the Shepard's waking up one after another on the morning they were to report to the Normandy; and then dying in the Crucible only for another to wake up and do it all over again. Finally, Jane focused in on the last Shepard to wake up: Dawn. She didn't know if it was making any sense to Dawn or not, but she had to try. She couldn't feel any awareness in Dawn; no subconscious fighting its way through the dream demanding answers like there was before. Eventually, Jane gave up and let the woman sleep in peace.

The next morning Shepard was preparing to board the MSV Fedele with Garrus and Wrex. Wrex had been filled in on who they were after and taken aside by Shepard to be informed that the doctor needed to be Garrus' kill unless things went sideways. Shepard had expected Wrex to be resistant to the idea, but he seemed to understand that Garrus needed this. She had chosen Wrex to accompany them because she thought he was the one who would be the least likely to insist on arresting Dr. Saleon instead.

Shepard wasn't taking Garrus to arrest the salarian; she was taking him to kill the man. _Good, it's what he deserves._ If Garrus decided he wanted to bring him in, Shepard would hog tie the son-of-a-bitch and gift wrap him for Garrus herself. She knew though, Garrus wasn't after legal justice and if this was just some pirate or smuggler that had gotten away, Shepard would fight for legal justice. This guy… a jail cell was far too good for him.

 _Wrex is a good choice. The doctor will try to deny he's Dr. Saleon. He'll insist his name is Dr. Heart and that he doesn't know what you're talking about. It's him though, don't be dissuaded. If the hideous experiments that try to kill you on the ship aren't enough to convince you, there is more evidence on that ship than any jury would need to convict._

The Normandy's airlock opened and the trio moved onto the MSV Fedele. Initially, the ship seemed abandoned. There were no signs of life or activity. _It's not empty. There are people here that Dr. Saleon has been experimenting on. They're rabid. Well, not technically rabid, I don't think, but they might as well be._ As they moved deeper into the ship they began hearing groans, and then Shepard caught her first glimpse of the horrors to have taken place at the hands of Dr. Saleon. Severely scarred and mutated, barely recognizable as human and completely crazed people rushed her team. Shepard's heart ached for them, but they weren't people anymore. _No, not anymore._ Not really. There was no saving them and nothing to be done but to put them down as quickly as she could. _A mercy, really it is._ Pity turned to rage as the last one bled out at her feet. She definitely wasn't going to suggest the 'arrest the doctor' option.

Shepard knew just where the doctor would be. There would be time to clear the ship later, for now she wanted Dr. Saleon's head on a silver platter. She led Garrus and Wrex down the hall and stopped in front of a door. She turned to look at Garrus.

"Bring him in or shoot him. I don't suggest bringing him in, this asshole isn't worth it, but this is your call," Shepard said.

"I'm glad you see it my way, Commander," Garrus said with a nod.

Shepard slapped her palm against the door's release button and stepped to the side to let Garrus enter first. She watched the salarian standing in the middle of the room closely; she wanted to see the understanding creep into his eyes. It was almost amusing when he tried to deny who he was and what he had done. He called her and Garrus crazy, and that made her fingers itch to pull the trigger herself.

"Put him out of his misery so we can get going," Shepard said affecting a bored tone.

"Gladly," said Garrus. "Your days of butchering are over, Doctor."

"No. Please… Please!" Dr. Saleon begged before turning to run.

Garrus shot him as he retreated, "That was… satisfying."

Shepard looked over the medical equipment stained with the blood of many species; shaking her head in disgust before leading them through the rest of the ship. There were things here the Normandy could use. Weapons, medical supplies – she even took the doctor's food. _Waste not, want not, right?_

When she got back to the Normandy she found she had received a message from Admiral Hackett. Someone was killing off former Alliance scientists, and if she understood what Hackett was saying, these scientists were working on a secret project on Akuze the same time her entire team died. There was one scientist from that team left, a Dr. Wayne and his last known coordinates were in the Kepler Verge. He was in the Newton system and they were going to have to head back there to take the mass relay anyway.

Shepard didn't hesitate, despite the buzzing in her head. This could be important. It may not get her any closer to Saren but she had gone out of her way to tie up loose ends for Garrus. _They had everything to do with losing your team. They were running tests on the thresher maws. They watched while your team was attacked and then studied the remains. They found someone still alive though, Dawn. They found Toombs. If you go to Ontarom, you'll find Toombs there. Things will get ugly, Dawn, no matter what you do._ This wasn't really out of her way and it might tie up some loose ends for herself. She had to go. She punched in the coordinates and left the CIC.

 _"… alive… bad shape…."_ Jane said.

"What?" Shepard asked.

 _"… Toombs… alive… number on him…,"_ said Jane.

"Toombs is alive? How is that even possible? Why would you just now tell me this?!" Shepard demanded.

 _"Far… important… Saren… reapers… cycle!"_ Jane bit back.

In the med bay, Shepard sat passively talking to Jane while Dr. Chakwas ran her scans. After long, silent minutes Dr. Chakwas sighed. Shepard looked up at the other woman.

"Well, you will be pleased to know that the inflammation has completely subsided. All results are normal. I am officially releasing you for active duty, Commander. Not that it makes any difference," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard grinned, "No more scans? Blood work? Peeing in a cup?"

"I would still appreciate it if you would try to take it easy for a few more days, and perhaps allow me to run follow up tests in about two weeks but otherwise, Commander, you're done here," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Congratulations, Commander," Dr. Tulina said looking over from her desk with a smile.

 _Going to tell Kaidan he can stop worrying? That's thoughtful. Oh look, he's with Ashley again. I've never seen them spend this much time together. I think there might be something starting there. Maybe you will be able to save them both and they can find some happiness together. That would be nice to see. I wonder if that would keep one of them from being on Horizon? Or maybe they'll both be there instead. Gods I don't want to have to see them both look at us like that at the same time. Maybe you should keep things from getting too far with them, though. I mean if one of them does die on Virmire, the other will be crushed._

Shepard spent some time making her rounds and checking in with everyone. She headed to Tali first, since it had been awhile since she'd dropped in to see the quarian. She was surprised to find that Tali wasn't in Engineering, but out in the cargo bay talking to Wrex. She hesitated near the elevator, wondering if she would be intruding on whatever it was they were discussing. Tali looked up and saw Shepard, waving her over.

 _Tali looks good. Her leg healed up nicely, she doesn't seem to be favoriting it at all. She still sounds like she has a cold, though. Oh look, now Garrus is coming over. Fantastic. Now I'll never get you to shut up and go someplace quiet where I can actually talk to you. You know, when I was alive, I'm pretty sure that if I had found out that there was something living inside my brain that could talk to me and show me my future, I'd be spending a whole helluva lot more time trying to figure out how to communicate with it than you are. I love this crew as much as you but seriously, Dawn._

 _"… there… more important… doing right now,"_ said Jane.

Shepard cocked her head and silently asked, "Like what? We're headed back towards the relay."

 _"… so much… need to know… standing… crew,"_ Jane said.

"Commander, are you alright?" Tali asked.

Shepard turned her head to smile at Tali, "Yeah, sorry. I guess I've just got a lot on my mind."

Garrus shifted beside her and gave her a knowing look.

"So, Tali. How's the leg? I heard you got a nasty bite on Feros," Garrus said distracting Tali.

"I have to spend time with the crew, it's important for morale," Shepard thought at Jane.

 _"… important… you… listen… need… stop all… once and…,"_ Jane said.

"Listen, Veil, I get it, you have shit you want to tell me. Problem is, I can't understand half of what you fucking say. I'm trying here, alright? But you're really fucking my entire program up. Completely flipped my life upside down," Shepard hissed vehemently inside of her head. "So unless there is something that I need to do right this instant to keep someone from dying, could you please back off for five minutes and let me enjoy a moment with my crew?"

 _"Stop… me Veil… fucking Jane. I had… remembering,"_ Jane snapped back.

"Jane? Your name is Jane?" Shepard asked.

 _"Yes! … Jane…,"_ Jane exclaimed.

"Alright, then, _Jane,_ five minutes. That's all I ask," Shepard said.

Jane stopped pushing and gave Shepard what she thought must be five minutes before nudging her again. The buzzing started back up in Shepard's head and she told the others that she had to go.

Back in her cabin she plopped down on her bed and wriggled until she was comfortable, she leaned her back against the pillows and closed her eyes.

"Alright, Jane, what do you want me to know?" Shepard asked.

 _"… cycle… I don't…,"_ Jane was trying to say when Shepard cut her off.

"OK, yeah just slow down. I got cycle. Let's work with that. I'm guessing you're talking about the cycle that the beacon showed me, of the reapers destroying entire civilizations. What about the cycle? Maybe just, I don't know, talk slower or something. Shorter sentences," Shepard said.

 _"No… not talking… our…,"_ Jane said.

"OK, this isn't working. How about just simple yes or no answers? Do you think you can focus on just yes or no?" Shepard asked.

 _Oh hell this is impossible. If I could, I'm sure I'd have a migraine right now. Yes or no, answers, huh? Alright Dawn, you really think you can get somewhere with that we'll try it your way._

 _"Yes,"_ Jane said focusing on the simple response.

"Alright, good. I heard that clearly. OK, so, you keep talking about a cycle. You're talking about the reapers, right?" Shepard asked.

 _"No,"_ Jane said.

"No?" Shepard asked.

 _"No,"_ Jane repeated.

"OK… does it have to do with you, then?" Shepard asked.

 _"Yes!"_ said Jane.

"You're on some kind of cycle?" Shepard asked now more confused.

 _"Yes,"_ Jane responded really hating this game.

"Are you… what, like an AI or something? Stuck on a loop?" Shepard asked.

 _"No… stupid… so close… entire… so fucking… isn't… has to be…,"_ Jane said.

"Alright, alright. Calm down. That isn't helping," Shepard reached up and rubbed her hands over her face. "I don't know what to do, Jane. I have a million questions for you, but half the time when you talk all I hear is buzzing. The uh, visions help some, but sometimes they're just as confusing."

 _"… progress…,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah, I suppose so," said Shepard.

 _Yeah. I just don't know if it will be enough. I don't know if anything will ever be enough._

After a few quiet moments of neither speaking, Shepard left the cabin and went to the cockpit. She slipped into the seat next to Joker and offered him a smile before turning her attention to the stars. Shepard dozed off in the co-pilot's seat and was woken a couple of hours later by Joker nudging her shoulder. They had arrived at Ontarom.

Shepard stood and stretched languorously before patting Joker on the shoulder.

"Tell Garrus and Tali to saddle up, we're going down," Shepard said before she left to get ready.

 _He's not going to be stable, Dawn. You might not be able to talk him down. You need to know that this might end with you shooting him, or him shooting himself._

 _"… messed… pretty bad… thresher maw… tests…,"_ Jane said.

Shepard listened to Jane but didn't form a response. She got the gist of what Jane was saying, but it didn't matter. She had to go see Toombs; she had to try to help him. Shepard remained quiet until they rolled up to the building. She gave Tali and Garrus a rundown of what and who she expected to find inside. Shepard didn't think that Tali made the connection right away, but she could tell that Garrus had. He'd done his homework.

She led them into the building, mowing through human and krogan mercenaries and stepping over the corpses of the merc's victims until she found the room with Toombs. He was holding Dr. Wayne at gun point. _Easy, Dawn, easy. He's not all there anymore. He's not the same Toombs you knew._

"Corporal Toombs, put the gun down," Shepard said as she walked slowly into the room.

"Stay back! I've got no grief with you! All I want is this bastard!" Toombs yelled.

"Toombs, look at me. Look, it's me, Shepard," she said.

"Please! He's a madman!" Dr. Wayne begged. "Mr. Toombs, you're insane! You need help!"

"Shut up! You don't get to lie! You don't…" Toombs turned his head enough to get a good look at Shepard. "Shepard? My god, Shepard, is that you?"

"Toombs, listen to me. Put the gun down, you don't need to do this. Whatever this is, whatever happened, I can help you," Shepard said.

"They took me, Shepard. The scientists," Toombs said.

"You can't prove any of this! This man is delusional!" the scientist said.

"See, they were running tests on the thresher maws. They let those things hit us just to watch and study. I woke up in a holding cell. The scientists were delighted I'd survived. Now they had someone to run tests on," Toombs said.

"You can't believe Toombs! He doesn't have any proof! I demand a fair trial!" said Dr. Wayne

Shepard raised her pistol up to point at Dr. Wayne, "Shut up! You don't get to talk. I'm not here to save you, you piece of shit. I don't need any proof. Toombs' word carries more weight than yours ever could."

Shepard's hand itched to pull the trigger, "I was there too, you son-of-a-bitch. I was lucky, so lucky that I got out alive but I've spent years thinking that it was all somehow my fault but telling myself every day that there was no way I could have known. Nothing more I could have done. I'm here to try to save Toombs from himself, your life doesn't matter."

"This man deserves to die, Shepard. There's nothing left of me for you to save, just this, it's all I have," Toombs said.

"I'm a Spectre now, Toombs. I can arrest him. He'll answer for his crimes in court," Shepard said.

"It'll never happen, Shepard. He's right, there is no proof. I've looked. All I have are their names. I said them over and over to myself every day, promised myself I'd find them and kill them. It's the only thing that kept me alive," Toombs said. "Are you helping me, or are you killing me?"

 _You're losing him, Dawn._

"Then I'll kill him," Shepard said.

"No, Shepard. Damn it, this is my kill. They tortured me, Shepard. They shot me full of thresher maw venom, Shepard. Just so they could see what it would do!" Toombs said.

"Toombs you could go to prison. You've got your life back; do you really want to spend the rest of it in a cell?" Shepard pleaded.

"I need this, Shepard. I'll never be whole again. Ever. There is nothing left for me. All I have is this," Toombs said.

Shepard dropped her head and lowered her gun, "Alright, Toombs. Alright."

 _"… turn… himself… head,"_ Jane said.

Toombs shot Dr. Wayne in the head and as soon as the shot was fired, she threw a Warp at Toombs. The man fell to the ground, his body twisting back on itself. Shepard kicked the pistol out of his hand, sending it sliding across the floor to the other side of the room. Before the Warp could wear off, she was restraining Toombs. Garrus was at her side adding his strength to keep Toombs under control.

"If anyone ever asks – anyone – I fired the shot that killed Dr. Wayne. Am I clear?" Shepard said.

Garrus nodded, "Perfectly."

"That's how I saw it," said Tali.

"Now, Toombs. I know what you were thinking and you were about to turn that gun on yourself. I couldn't let that happen," Shepard said. "I'm sorry, I know that you've been through hell, but I couldn't let that happen."

Tears began to slide down the man's face and he stopped struggling.

"Tali go get his gun, please," Shepard said.

Tali went and got Toombs pistol and gave it to Shepard. Shepard turned the gun on the scientist who was barely still holding on to the last seconds of life, and shot him several times.

"I shot him, you got that, Toombs?" Shepard asked.

Toombs nodded his head, "You shot him."

"I'm taking you back to the Normandy with me, Toombs. There's someone there who can help you. I don't want to have to drag you the whole way kicking and screaming. Will you cooperate for me, Toombs?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, Shepard. For you," Toombs nodded his head and Shepard let him go.

They got Toombs back out to the Mako and he climbed inside, Tali right behind him. Garrus stood waiting next to Shepard to climb in the passenger's seat.

"Shepard, are you alright?" Garrus asked.

Shepard looked up at Garrus and let out a deep breath, running her fingers through her hair.

She shook her head slowly, "No. But I will be."

Garrus tentatively put a hand on her shoulder. Shepard let herself lean forward and put her forehead to the center of his chest. She listened as his breath caught in surprise and then she felt the comforting sound of a contented hum vibrating the plates of his armor. She only allowed herself a few seconds of contact before pulling away.

 _I've never seen it go like this with Toombs before, Dawn. I don't know what to expect now. I'm as blind on this as you are._

"Keep an eye on him for me, Garrus? I need to give the Normandy a heads up," Shepard said.

"You got it," Garrus said before sliding into the Mako.

Shepard took a few steps away before radioing the Normandy, "Shore party to Normandy, do you copy?"

"Normandy here, we copy," Joker's voice answered.

"Joker, I need a pickup at our location. We've got someone with us. Ask Doctors Chakwas and Tulina to meet us in the cargo bay. And tell Dr. Chakwas it might be a good idea to have a sedative on hand. Our guest may not be stable," Shepard said.

"Aye, aye, Commander. Locking in on your location now. I'll notify the doctors. Normandy out," Joker said.

Shepard hoped in the Mako's driver seat and waited for the Normandy to come into view.

 _He always shot himself after killing Dr. Wayne. We never stopped it before. Bringing him back with us like this? I – I don't know what to say. Are you keeping him on the Normandy? He might still try to kill himself, or worse, one of the crew._

 _"… best idea… sideways,"_ Jane said.

"I have to try," Shepard responded silently.

Shepard got out of the Mako first to fill Dr. Tulina and Dr. Chakwas in on the situation. Shepard waved her hand at Garrus for him to bring Toombs out and then waved Ashley over. She asked Ashley to escort Toombs to the med bay with the two doctors and then to wait outside of the med bay door in case she was needed before Shepard got up there.

"Toombs, I want you to go with the doctor's now, OK? I'm going to get out of this armor and then I'll be right in there with you. These are good women, Toombs; don't give them any trouble, alright?" Shepard spoke quietly to the man.

Toombs nodded his head. Shepard couldn't help but to notice the vacant look in his eyes. _He's gone. I don't know if you'll be able to bring him back from this. If you had insisted on arresting the doctor, if you were able to talk him down he would have been OK eventually but now… I don't know._ She was glad that all of the scientists responsible were dead now. Otherwise she might be tempted to go hunt them down herself. Shepard ditched her armor and weapons as quickly as she could, laying them in front of the crew lockers instead of carrying them up to her own locker by the med bay. She'd deal with it later.

A few minutes later and Shepard was sitting in a chair across from Toombs while Dr. Chakwas performed a scan to get a baseline of his current physical state. He was still pretty tore up inside if Dr. Chakwas tight lips were any indication. Dr. Chakwas looked… furious. Dr. Tulina was talking to him in quiet, soothing tones. Shepard couldn't quite make out what she was saying but that was alright, it wasn't her business. Toombs' eyes occasionally flickered over to Shepard. She wasn't sure if he was hoping she would leave, or was begging her to stay. It didn't matter, she wasn't going anywhere yet.

 _Stay. Stay with him until he goes to sleep. I think seeing your face will help. It'll give him an anchor, something familiar. Of course, it might also be reminder of what he went through… No, he seemed willing enough to do as you asked after the doctor was dead. He still has loyalty and respect for you. You're the only person here he knows._

A couple of hours later and Toombs was sleeping peacefully. Dr. Chakwas had given him a sedative with the promise that he wouldn't have any dreams. It was getting late but Shepard wanted to fill the crew in on a few things before she slept herself. She set up a rotation with the Alliance soldiers on board, leaving her crew available to keep her schedule and move out with her on short notice. She called everyone to the debriefing room and filled them in on who Toombs was and what he had been through before moving on to discuss their mission.

"Alright everyone. I'm setting the coordinates for Virmire tonight. I don't know what to expect completely when we get there, but I do know that it's going to be an all hands on deck kind of thing. I need you all well rested and ready for a fight," Shepard started to pace.

 _"Saren… fight… Virmire… he gets away,"_ Jane said.

"Show me how he gets away later, Jane," Shepard thought.

"Saren's going to show his face on Virmire. There will be heavy geth resistance. We won't be in the fight alone, though. We are going to be meeting with a salarian infiltration team sent by the Council. They are our allies in this," Shepard said.

She stopped in the middle of the room and looked around at her team, "I know that there have been a lot of things happening with me lately. I know that many of you have been concerned about me, or about my ability to handle this mission. I want to assure you all, that not only am I fine – Dr. Chakwas has officially cleared me for active duty – but I am committed to stopping Saren. I will stop Saren. Everyone go get some sleep. Dismissed."

Shepard went up to the galaxy map to set the coordinates before showering and heading to her cabin for the night. She paced the floor for a few minutes trying to think of a way to hear Jane better. She needed information, and she needed it before she got to Virmire. Shepard focused on the one time when she heard Jane the clearest. It was when she was joined with Liara and she heard the screaming in her head.

 _"… don't think… because of… joining…,"_ Jane said.

"Then what was it?" Shepard asked.

 _"… very relaxed… opened yourself… and me,"_ Jane said.

Jane was right. Since then, she'd always heard Jane best when she was calm and things were quiet around her. Shepard turned down the lights and set in the middle of her bed with her legs folded. It had been years since she had tried meditation, but if there was ever a need for it, this was it.

Shepard closed her eyes and took slow, deep, calming breaths. She tried to mimic what she had done with Liara to reach that same state of tranquility. She pushed away all thoughts of Toombs and Akuze. Quieted the indecision about how to handle Ashley and Kaidan on Virmire. Put aside the thoughts about her feelings that were beginning to be undeniable for Garrus. Put aside the heartache for Liara and Kaidan. And finally, moved past the fear that she had been hiding from herself.

"Jane, are you there?" Shepard asked.

 _"Yes, Dawn. I'm always here, you just don't listen,"_ Jane said.

"I'm listening now, Jane. I can hear you, but I don't know how long this will last. What cycle, Jane?" Shepard said.

Shepard felt a sense of excitement filter through her; she knew right away that it was not her excitement, but Jane's.

 _"Your cycle. Our cycle. We have been living the same life you are living over and over again. Fighting against the geth, against Saren. Against the collectors and the reapers. Every time we get to the end, when we think we have won and it is finally over with, we wake up at the beginning again,"_ Jane said, the words urgent and rushed.

"I don't understand. Who is 'we'? Who – what are you?" Shepard asked.

 _"My name is Jane Shepard. I was the first,"_ Jane said.

"Shepard?" she asked.

 _"Yes. Some of the visions I have been showing you have been from my life. I was once flesh and blood, just like you. I lived through all of this… well, not exactly all of this. Some things change from life to life… and you've changed a lot of things. Anyway, not the point. I lived this life, I fought the reapers and then I died,"_ Jane said.

"How is that possible, I – what are you then, a ghost? How could we be living through the same things?" Shepard asked as her mind struggled to accept what she was being told.

 _"I didn't stay dead. My mind – or soul – or whatever stayed conscious while my body wasted away. Then somehow, I have no clue how or why, but somehow I woke up again. In someone else's body. Trapped in their mind the way I have been in yours,"_ Jane said.

"Your cycle," said Shepard.

 _"Yes. But the person I was in, his name was John Shepard. He was me. He had my life. Some things were different, I won't waste time explaining all of it, but he was me,"_ Jane said.

"That – how – what?" Shepard stuttered.

 _"Commander John Shepard. He had just been given a new assignment and told to report to the SSV Normandy. The same Normandy. He met with Captain David Anderson. The same Anderson that I knew, the same Anderson that you know now. Everything was the same, Dawn. Everyone was the same… except for me,"_ Jane said.

"I – I don't know if I can believe this. I know, I know, I'm talking to a voice in my head but still… this is just… insane," Shepard said pushing back the panic that was starting to rise up in her chest.

Jane's voice started to sound fainter and buzzing began to interrupt her words again. Shepard took deep breaths until she could calm herself down again and then sought out that place of tranquility once more.

"I'm sorry. I lost you there for a minute," Shepard said.

 _"I know this is a lot to take in but I need you to listen and accept this, Dawn. I don't know how to make this stop, I've spent countless lives – lived through this at least a thousand times and I can't make it stop. I'm so tired, Dawn,"_ Jane said.

"The other voices I heard, when I was with Liara and I heard the screaming… there were so many voices…" Shepard said.

 _"Yes, they're all here. Some more… coherent than others but none as strong as I am. Many of them have gone completely insane. This was just too much for them to bear. Some are… isolated. Unreachable even to me, I used to try to talk to them, but I gave that up long ago. They just, I don't know, sit there I guess and relieve their memories over and over,"_ Jane said.

"Is this – are you telling me that this is going to happen to me? I'm going to die and wake up in someone else' mind with you and the others?" Shepard asked panic welling up inside of her once more.

 _"If we can't find a way to make it stop before your time is up, then…,"_ Jane said.

"Oh gods. Oh gods. I think I'm going to be sick," Shepard said bolting from the bed and rushing to the trash can by her desk.

Just like that, Jane was relegated to buzzing once more. Shepard retched, emptying out the meager dinner she had finally gotten around to eating just a couple of hours before. When her heaving finally stopped and her stomach was starting to settle, Shepard rose on shaky legs to make her way to the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and splashed water on her face. Jane buzzed loudly in her head.

"I can't… I just can't. No more right now," Shepard said.

After landing Shepard in a hospital bed once already, Jane was hesitant to force the matter and fell silent. In the mess hall, Shepard rummaged through cabinets until she found some crackers and sat down at one of the tables to nibble at them. The mess was quiet; the lights were dimmed for the night. Shepard could see soft light filtering through the med bay windows and a guard at the door staring straight ahead.

She found herself walking towards the sleeping pods across from the mess hall. She didn't know why until she was standing in front of one of the pods looking at Garrus' sleeping face. She put a hand on the glass before resting her forehead next to it, her eyes on the ground she took a deep shuttering breath and turned back to her cabin. As Shepard turned her head and her eyes moved past Garrus' form, she didn't notice that his eyes were open and watching her, but Jane did.

Shepard crawled under her covers and curled up into a ball. Tears slid down her eyes until finally, sleep took her.


	19. Chapter 18: You Did Your Best, Commander

**Chapter 18: You Did Your Best, Commander.**

Shepard was sitting at a table in the mess hall. A cup of coffee sat in front of her, growing colder by the minute. Her gaze was unfocused. Kaidan slid into the seat in front of her, snapping Shepard out of her rumination. She tried to smile at him but she knew it wasn't convincing.

"Hey Commander, did you get any sleep last night?" Kaidan asked.

Shepard sighed and rubbed her face, "Probably not as much as I needed. How about you, Kaidan?"

"I slept alright, all things considered," Kaidan paused. "So, if it's alright, I was wondering… last night you said Saren would show his face on Virmire. Is this something you're assuming tactically… or is this the other thing, the beacon or whatever, telling you this?"

Shepard schooled her features before she could wince, there was so much that she hadn't told her crew. So much that she didn't think they'd understand because she could barely understand it herself.

 _"… might… try,"_ Jane's voice whispered in Shepard's mind.

"I saw it, I know he's going to be there," Shepard said.

Kaidan grinned and turned sideways so he could lean against the wall, "That's wonderful news, Commander. We're going to get the bastard. I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear that."

Shepard smiled, "And if he manages to get away, we'll chase him to the ends of the galaxy, Kaidan. I told you guys, I'm not letting this go. He will be stopped."

Kaidan smiled at her, "I never doubted that you were in it for the long haul, Shepard. It's just so nice to have an edge. To know that he's going to be there before we arrive."

 _"… happy… have me… help,"_ Jane said.

"No, he's happy that I have what he thinks is the prothean beacon – something he can begin to wrap his head around – to help," Shepard thought back at Jane.

"Yeah, I suppose it is," Shepard said to Kaidan, taking a sip of her cold coffee and grimacing.

"Here, let me warm that up for you," Kaidan said grabbing her cup and leaving the table before she could think to protest.

 _"… still wants…,"_ Jane whispered.

Shepard chose to ignore that. The mess hall was beginning to fill with loud, excited chatter as more people arrived for breakfast. Shepard felt eyes on her; she looked around the room until she saw Garrus leaning against the med bay wall watching her. She gave him the best smile she could manage and patted the bench next to her in invitation. Warmth passed over her as the tall turian pushed himself off the wall and strode across the mess hall to straddle the bench next to her.

"Morning, Garrus. So, you ready for this?" Shepard asked.

"Only since the day you said I could tag along, Shepard," Garrus said.

Shepard found it a little easier to smile while he was next to her, "Good. I hope you're well rested. I need all of you at your best."

"Well, something did wake me up last night. I had a little trouble getting back to sleep after that, but I did eventually manage. I got enough, don't need as much as humans," Garrus said.

"Bad dreams, Garrus?" Shepard asked; she could hear Jane buzzing in her head and wondered if that was humor that she felt.

Kaidan was making his way back to the table. Shepard caught his smile falter when he saw Garrus sitting with her but he pulled it back into place before he reached the table. Kaidan sat the cup down in front of Shepard before sitting back down across from her.

"Not exactly…," Garrus said.

"Hey, Garrus. How's it going?" Kaidan asked.

Garrus was slow to drag his gaze from Shepard, "Not too bad, Kaidan. Not too bad at all. I'm looking forward to the chance to take Saren down. How about yourself?"

Shepard took a slow sip of the hot coffee before mouthing a 'thank you' at Kaidan.

Kaidan smiled at Shepard before answering Garrus, "I'm right there with you, Garrus. I was just telling Shepard how nice it is to have an edge. Don't get me wrong, it sucks that the beacon, you know, has caused her some problems but man has it been a huge help."

Shepard squirmed in her seat and kept her eyes glued on her coffee. She trusted Garrus not to spill her secrets. She just didn't know if he was aware how secret they actually were.

 _"Relax… self away… Garrus does,"_ Jane said.

"Ha, the beacon, yeah. Wrex is still talking about how the next one we find is his. Tali and Ashley were talking about it yesterday while Tali was checking out her locker, too. Tali's got some grand ideas about all the ways it would help out the Migrant Fleet," Garrus said.

Kaidan chuckled, "Did you remind her you have dibs?"

"Nah, I wasn't a part of the conversation. I was working on the Mako," Garrus said.

"Wait, I thought you said they were by the lockers?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, they were," Garrus said looking confused.

"And you heard them all the way over by the Mako?" Shepard asked.

"Turian's have incredibly good hearing, Commander. We could never sneak past Vyrnnus at brain camp. A lot of kids got themselves hurt trying it, but it never stopped the rest," Kaidan said.

"I knew your hearing was good, but damn…," Shepard said. "Wait, oh gods. That's awkward… Maybe I should let Ashley know…"

Garrus chuffed. Shepard's heart fluttered and Garrus' mandibles twitched.

"Why so I don't have to hear about how she doesn't think we aliens should have full access to the Normandy – particularly Wrex and myself – or maybe about her family's involvement in the First Contact War? Or is it so I don't have to hear how cute her sister thinks Kaidan is?" Garrus asked.

Kaidan choked on his coffee and Shepard threw her head back in laughter. Garrus' low chuckle joined hers.

She reached out to slap Garrus playfully on the arm but his hand shot out and caught her wrist, "Yeah, those are all good reasons."

Garrus let go of Shepard's wrist and smiled at her. Kaidan had recovered his breath but his face was a bright red.

"You alright there, Kaidan? You're looking really red. Maybe we should take him to the med bay, Shepard," Garrus said.

Shepard laughed again, "Oh stop. And you said I'm evil."

Kaidan managed a chuckle, "Ha. No, that's alright. I think I'll manage. I think I'll, uh, go make sure my guns are clean and ready to go."

Kaidan all but ran from the mess hall. Shepard was still giggling and trying to control it enough to sip her coffee.

"So," Garrus said when Kaidan was gone, "Do you make a habit out of visiting the sleeping pods in the middle of the night?"

Laughter broke through the sounds of buzzing in Shepard's head.

Shepard's own laughter stopped as her hand paused with her cup halfway to her mouth. She slowly put the cup back on the table and folded her hands in her lap.

"I woke you up?" Shepard asked.

"Hmmm. You did," Garrus said taking a deep breath.

Shepard stared at her hands, doing her best to calm her racing heart. She found it wasn't so easy as when she was trying to hide a lie. She could feel the heat in her cheeks and she knew it wasn't lost on him. She put her elbows on the table and buried her face in her hands before raking her hair back and pinning it there with her hands. She stared down at her coffee before sitting up again.

"I'm sorry, Garrus. I didn't mean to wake you. It uh, it won't happen again," Shepard said not meeting his gaze.

Garrus' hand moved in front of her face slowly, hesitantly; he gently hooked one of his fingers under her chin and turned her face to him the way she had his in the Mako. Shepard's eyes dropped closed at the contact and she felt a quiet groan escape her throat. He took his hand away when she opened her eyes to look at him. She almost smiled at how utterly lost and confused he looked. A hitch in the noise of the mess hall told her that other people had noticed the interaction. She was grateful when the noise picked back up again, though she could still feel eyes on her.

Garrus leaned forward a hair and spoke softly barely loud enough for her to hear, "You've got to help me out here, Shepard. I've spent a lot of time around humans on the Citadel but I've never had more than a casual working relationship, at best… interrogation at worst with humans. I have to admit some of the things you do and say leave my head spinning trying to figure out what you mean."

"I haven't really told anyone the full extent of what I'm going through except you. I think you probably even know more than Dr. Tulina does at this point…," Shepard struggled to find the right words to explain her actions, "Some new things came up last night and I, uh, I don't know. I guess I was just needing someone to… talk to and… but you know, you were sleeping and I didn't want to bother you. I didn't realize I woke you up. Sorry about that."

Garrus watched her quietly, his visor contracting and expanding, his mandibles shifting slightly as he thought on her words.

He took another deep breath, "Shepard, you don't… next time you need someone to talk to, wake me up, it's alright. I don't need a lot of sleep and I… Hmmm."

Shepard bit the corner of her lip, she ached to reach out and touch him. Garrus paused. He took in another deep breath before clearing his throat.

"I'm just saying that if you need me for anything… anything at all, I'm here for you, Shepard," Garrus said.

Shepard found that her throat was dry when she tried to speak, "Thank you, Garrus. That um, that means a lot to me."

Garrus laid a hand down on the table and sat up straight, "Of course, Shepard. Well, I uh… I should probably go make sure the Mako is up to par."

He stood up, towering above Shepard. Her eyes slowly slid along his body and up to meet his gaze.

"OK," she said but it barely came out as more than a whisper.

"I uh, I took care of your armor and guns last night. Cleaned them all. Oiled the guns… they're in your locker," Garrus said.

Shepard's eyebrows rose. She knew enough about turian culture to know that turians didn't mess with each other's weapons and armor often. When they did, it was generally between intimate partners or a sign of deep respect and admiration; as well as implying a hell of a lot of trust.

"Thanks," Shepard managed.

"Sure. Anytime, Shepard," Garrus said stepping over the bench and turning his back to her.

 _"… feelings… you, too,"_ Jane said.

Shepard continued to ignore Jane as her eyes followed Garrus until he was out of sight. When he was gone, she noticed that half the crew was casting furtive glances in her direction. Liara nodded her head and offered Shepard an encouraging smile. Shepard wondered how much it cost her to try to encourage Shepard to pursue something with someone else. Shepard returned the smile, albeit only weakly. She finished off her coffee and washed her cup out at the sink before heading to her cabin.

 _"… don't… answer… that,"_ Jane said.

"You're, right. I probably don't," Shepard thought.

She ran her hands over her laptop in thought before opening it and logging in to the ship's security records. She pulled up the video feeds for her cabin door, the mess hall, and the sleeping pods from the night before and fast forwarded to the point where she came back out of her cabin. Shepard watched herself move slowly towards the sleeping pods and glance into each one before stopping in front of Garrus' pod. She hadn't even thought about the cameras last night; didn't even wonder what anyone watching them would think.

She zoomed in on Garrus' pod and watched as it showed her put a hand on the glass. Her head leaned forward and gently tapped the glass as it connected. Garrus' eyes flew open; he shifted his head to look down at her through the glass. His visor whirred to life and the iris constricted. In the video, Shepard turned away from the glass and walked back to her cabin. Garrus opened his sleeping pod and hesitantly stepped out into the hall. He glanced back at his empty pod before taking a few steps forward. He stopped again and shook his head before looking out at the mess hall. Garrus tapped a finger against his thigh before striding through the mess hall towards Shepard's cabin.

Shepard had stopped breathing, she was biting her lip so hard it nearly bled as she watched what appeared to be a conflicted Garrus approach her cabin door. In the video feed, Garrus stopped near Shepard's door and turned around as if he was going to go back to sleeping pod. He stared up at the ceiling, his chest raising and dropping as he breathed deeply. He tapped a finger against his thigh a few more times before closing the distance to Shepard's door. He held his hand up to knock but hesitated and let it drop back to his side. He shook his head again before leaning forward to gently place his head against the cool metal. He stayed like that for nearly a minute before he turned back to the mess hall and sat down on the nearest bench. Two minutes passed and he hadn't moved.

Shepard fast forwarded the video, watching the minutes tick by on the feed's automatic time recording. Forty-three minutes passed before Garrus stood, left the bench and walked back to the sleeping pod, his eyes on his feet the entire time. Shepard thought that she would give just about anything just then to know what he had been thinking. She rewound the recording and watched it three more times, trying very hard not to think about what might have happened if he had knocked or if she had come back out of her cabin to find him sitting there.

Shepard pursed her lips and slowly pressed down on the laptop lid until it snapped closed. They were still at least two hours away from Virmire, and she had to get Garrus out of her head. She glanced over at her bed and vetoed that location right away as thoughts of Garrus in that bed next to her filled her mind. Shepard dimmed her lights and sat down in the middle of the floor. She folded her legs; she started pushing thoughts aside and taking deep breaths. When she had reached that floating feeling of tranquility, she reached out for Jane.

"Jane?" Shepard said.

 _"Finally,"_ Jane said.

Shepard chose to ignore the snark, "You said something about Saren getting away on Virmire. Can you tell me what happens?"

 _"Yeah. Sure. Well, when we make our choice between saving Williams or saving Alenko, Saren shows up at whichever location we go to. He flies in on a hovering platform, throwing biotics at us. We take cover and he jumps down to the ground. We fire at him but his biotic shield doesn't let the shots through,"_ Jane said.

"How strong are his biotics?" Shepard asked.

" _Very. He seems to have some level of immunity towards biotics as well. He talks to us, mocks us, tries to get us to see why his working with the reapers is a 'good' thing,"_ said Jane.

"How could that possibly be a good thing?!" Shepard asked.

" _Sovereign has him convinced that if he works with the reapers, he will be spared. He's convinced himself that he's not already indoctrinated. He thinks he's smarter than that, stronger than that. Anyway, then we fight and he gets his hands on us, around our throat and drags us across the ground and if we're at the AA Tower, he holds us over the edge. If we're at the bombsite he just holds us in the air,"_ Jane said.

"Where's our team during this, we're not alone, right?" Shepard asks, not realizing how easily she has slipped in to using 'our' instead of 'your' and 'my'.

 _"Hurt, they're hurt and not able to really help. So, he has us in the air and Saren turn's his head for a second and we punch him in the face,"_ Jane said.

"Nice," Shepard smirks.

Jane chuckles, _"Yeah. So we hit him and he drops us to the ground. We're a little woozy from being choked and before we can get up again, he's on his hovering platform and flying away."_

"Why don't we pursue him?" Shepard demands.

 _"How? We don't fly? Our team is hurt, the place is swarming with geth and there's a bomb about to go off,"_ Jane said.

"Damn," said Shepard.

 _"Yeah, but it's OK, you'll find him again on the Citadel later. The Conduit is on Ilos. It's basically a back door to the Citadel built by the protheans during the last invasion,"_ Jane said.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me that to start?!" Shepard said.

 _"I tried, Dawn. I fucking tried. I couldn't get through to you. By the time I finally could – Well, Ilos just wasn't the most pressing matter. Sure, you could skip Virmire. You could go straight to Ilos, but I've been giving it some thought and, I hate to admit it but I'm not really sure if it will help,"_ Jane said.

"I can destroy it, hell blow up the whole planet if we have too!" Shepard said.

 _"And in doing so, it is quite likely that you would destroy the Citadel. I can't think of any way of destroying the Conduit that wouldn't also put the Citadel at risk. And even if the Citadel survived, it wouldn't guarantee that Saren wouldn't find another way onto the Citadel to transfer control of the Citadel to Sovereign,"_ Jane said.

"What does Sovereign want with the Citadel?" Shepard asked.

 _"The Citadel is actually a mass relay. There are others like Sovereign, and if Sovereign can get control over the Citadel, he can use it to open a path for the other reapers. You absolutely must stop Saren, not just prevent him from getting to the Conduit,"_ Jane said.

"Damn it!" growled Shepard.

 _"I'm sorry. There's more. If you don't go to Virmire and set off that bomb, if and when you face Saren again, he's going to have an army of genetically engineered, indoctrinated krogan at his command,"_ Jane said.

"What?!" Shepard asked.

 _"That's what Saren is doing on Virmire. There's a breeding facility. He's making krogan. That's what Wrex gets so upset about. He sees this as a cure for the genophage, a way to potentially save his people,"_ Jane said.

"And we want to blow it up, yeah I remember. I get it now," Shepard said. "I need to think about this. We'll talk more later."

 _"There's still so much to tell you. But yeah, OK, I get it,"_ Jane said.

Shepard was pacing the floor of her cabin when she heard a knock, "It's open!"

The door slid open and Dr. Tulina came in, "Hello, Commander. Are you busy?"

"Not particularly, just planning. Running through scenarios in my head, what's up? Is Toombs OK?" Shepard asked.

"Toombs is still resistant to talking and has not yet agreed to allow a joining so that I might best be able to help him, but I am afraid I cannot tell you more than that without breaking his confidentiality," Dr. Tulina said.

"Right, of course. Sorry," Shepard said.

"Not at all, Commander. I have come to check on you, though. We have not spoken much since the veil revealed to you the events that are expected to happen on Virmire. I am told that we are now headed to Virmire, I thought perhaps you might wish to talk," Dr. Tulina said.

"Oh, OK, yeah. Here sit down," Shepard said holding her hand out to the chair before grabbing the second chair and pulling it over for herself.

Dr. Tulina sat down and folded her hands in her lap while watching Shepard.

"Where to start? Uh, well, I took your advice and started talking to uh, the veil, well actually her name is Jane," Shepard said.

"Her name is Jane?" Dr. Tulina asked.

"Yeah, uh – I'm not sure how to explain everything she told me so bear with me. It took a while for me to figure out how to really get through where I could hear her but we've made progress. I've started meditating and that seems to work quite well," Shepard said.

"Excellent. What have you discovered?" Dr. Tulina asked.

"The voices are… I don't know, past lives? Jane said that she has lived my life countless times," Shepard said.

"I am afraid I do not understand," Dr. Tulina said.

"She was once Commander Jane Shepard and she was called to serve on the Normandy. She encountered the beacon; she fought the geth and Saren. Fought the war against the reapers and then died," Shepard said.

"Jane is dead?" Dr. Tulina asked leaning forward.

"Yeah, well, when she died she… didn't stay dead exactly. She said she woke up trapped in a man's head, Commander John Shepard. Basically she watched as he went through the same things that she did, but she was never able to reach him. She said that when he died, they woke up together in someone else's head – another Commander Shepard and went through it all again," Shepard tried to explain.

 _"… write… biography, that… terrible,"_ Jane said.

"I suppose that explains the different perspectives, and the differences in the visions," Dr. Tulina said.

"She said it's been at least a thousand lives," said Shepard.

"Has Jane explained to you how this happened?" Dr. Tulina asked.

"She doesn't know how or why, and she only wants to make it stop. She said this is the first time she's been able to reach someone, to be heard. She wants me to find a way to stop this cycle," Shepard said.

"How does Jane propose you stop this cycle?" Dr. Tulina asked.

"I don't think she has any idea, I think her plan revolved mostly around breaking through to me to warn me. With the hopes that I can change things enough that it doesn't happen again," Shepard said.

 _"… good plan!"_ Jane said.

"I didn't say it wasn't," Shepard thought.

Dr. Tulina seemed to hesitate before asking, "And what happens if you cannot break the cycle?"

"If I don't, when I die, I might wake up again with them all, too," Shepard said.

"I see. That sounds terrifying," Dr. Tulina sat quietly to give Shepard a chance to respond and then when she didn't, "It sounds like you are only able to speak with Jane, is that correct?"

"I – I don't know," said Shepard. "I haven't exactly tried to speak to any of the others, but the exception of when I heard them screaming during the joining, I haven't heard any of the others… Jane said that a lot of them are… unstable. It was all too much for them to handle… and they broke."

 _"… wouldn't recommend…,"_ Jane said.

"Perhaps it is for the best, that you do not hear them as well," Dr. Tulina said. "How are you handling all of this, Commander? I must admit you seem far more composed than I would imagine."

"Uh, well, when I first was able to meditate and talk to Jane and she told me their story… and what might happen to me… Well, doc, I puked my guts out and cried myself to sleep," Shepard admitted.

"Ah, I see. That is an understandable reaction to such an event. How do you feel about Jane now, Commander?" Dr. Tulina asked.

Shepard shrugged, "I guess I feel sorry for her. And I want to help her. But mostly… I want her to help me. I don't want to end up like that, Dr. Tulina."

"I would be shocked if you did, Commander," Dr. Tulina said.

"So, yeah… there's a lot to think about. Right now my focus is Virmire, though, and figuring out how to keep shit from going sideways," Shepard said.

"Have you decided on how you will handle Virmire?" Dr. Tulina asked.

"I haven't told them about the deaths. Well – I told Garrus. He's good to talk to about things. But I haven't told the others because I'm afraid it would be a distraction during the mission," Shepard leaned forward resting her elbows on her knees and clasped her hands together, "More importantly, I hate to say this but the mission has to come first. Even if that means that I can't find a way to save both Ashley and Kaidan. It won't stop me from trying, of course, but part of being a soldier – a Commander – hell a Spectre… is doing what you have to do to get the job done. If I tell them, especially Kaidan and Ashley, there really isn't any way that I could expect them to keep their heads in the game. And then if I fail to save one of them, I think that it would make things significantly harder for everyone. Especially whichever of them I chose to save."

"I think that is a very wise decision, Commander. It sounds like you have given it a lot of thought. Have you a plan to save them both?" Dr. Tulina asked.

"The reason why one of them dies, ultimately, is because I allow one of my team to be placed under Kirrahe's command. Now, I'm not saying this is Kirrahe's fault but it leads to the two of them being in separate locations and both being in dire straits at the same time. I only have time to save one of them," Shepard spread her palms apart to emphasize her point.

Dr. Tulina nodded and hummed in her throat, encouraging Shepard to continue.

"So, the only thing I can really plan on doing is not allowing one of my team to go with Kirrahe. The vision Jane showed me indicates that other Shepards have been reluctant to send someone with him, but inevitably they have anyway. I will have to be firm on the point. It might cause some strain, though," Shepard leaned back in the chair, "I'll need to try to understand exactly why Kirrahe feels he needs one of my team and see if there is a suitable work around that can be found. If it seems there really is no other way… I'll have to let one of them go and make the hard choices that come with being a Commander."

"I see. Have you given thought to which you would save if it comes to making that decision?" Dr. Tulina asked.

Shepard heaved a sigh, letting it flutter strands of her hair in the air before brushing them out of her face, "No, Dr. Tulina. I haven't. I can't bring myself to do that. That feels a little too much like premeditated murder of one of my own."

Dr. Tulina stood, "That is an understandable, and perhaps appropriate feeling, Commander Shepard. Well, if you will excuse me, I should return to Toombs… and hope that I do not get distracted by pondering the existential questions the universe has always seemed reluctant to provide answers for until now."

Shepard chuckled before asking, "You think it'd be alright if I came with you? I don't want to upset him, but I'd like to see him."

"Yes, Commander. In fact, I think that is an excellent idea and would be very beneficial for Toombs," Dr. Tulina said.

Shepard walked to the med bay with Dr. Tulina and her heart sank. She saw Toombs sitting in a chair next to the bed she so recently occupied staring at nothing. He was so still, and so empty looking, it was hard to believe he was really even alive. Dr. Chakwas was sitting at her desk but was turned just enough that she could watch Toombs out of the corner of her eye.

"Hey, Toombs. Is it alright if I sit with you for a while?" Shepard asked.

Toombs turned his head slowly to look at Shepard, he blinked a few times but otherwise his expression remained the same. Cold, empty… dead.

"Your ship, Commander," Toombs said monotonously.

Shepard pulled up a chair to sit at an angle facing Toombs. He went back to staring at nothing. Shepard leaned forward putting her elbows on her knees.

"I'm sorry, Toombs. I'm so sorry that I had no idea what that you were still alive. No idea what they were doing to you. And I'm sorry that you're here now hurting. I think things can get better for you, Toombs. If you try, if you work on it with the doctors," Shepard said.

Shepard saw tears start to well up in Toombs' eyes. Her heart ached and her stomach twisted into knots.

 _"… look like… better,"_ Jane said.

After a very long moment of silence, Toombs whispered, "Why am I here, Shepard?"

Shepard watched the first tear fall from his eyes as she responded, "Because, Toombs. I'm hoping that you'll let me help you. And because you're safe here, under my authority, from facing charges for killing those scientists. Because I understand why you did it. Because I would have done the same, Toombs. Because some part of me wishes that they were still alive so I could kill them all over again for what they did to you."

Dr. Tulina cleared her throat and when Shepard looked up at her she subtly shook her head. Shepard frowned and turned back to Toombs trying to choose her next words more carefully.

He closed his eyes, forcing more tears to roll down his scarred cheeks and let out a quivering sigh. "I don't think you _can_ help me, Shepard. I don't think the doctors _can_ help me. You should have just let me die," Toombs said.

Shepard closed her eyes and hung her head, "I couldn't do that, Toombs. I'm sorry."

"Go away, Shepard. Just leave me alone," Toombs sobbed.

"Is that what you really want?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah. Please, just leave me alone," Toombs said.

"Alright, Toombs. I'm not going to stay away, but I'll give your space for now," Shepard said.

She stood up and looked at Dr. Tulina. The doctor gave her a sympathetic smile. Shepard turned and left for the cockpit. She slid into the seat next to Joker, and heaved a sigh.

"How far out are we, Joker?" Shepard asked.

Joker pressed a few buttons on the screen, "ETA one hour. So that guy, in the med bay, he was on Akuze with you?"

"Yeah, I thought they were all dead. Apparently I was wrong. He says that Cerberus got ahold of him, did a number on him. Ran tests involving thresher maw venom," Shepard said.

"Damn. Cerberus, the same Cerberus we've been butting heads with?" Joker asked.

"Seems so," Shepard said.

Shepard tried really hard not to think about the fact that in the vision with Kaidan slash Ashley, they said she was working with Cerberus. She couldn't imagine a reality where she would ever work with such obvious bottom feeders if not for one really big, really good reason. She'd have to be pretty damn desperate, too. With the way the Council was denying the existence of the reapers, she imagined it might have something to do with that. She would talk to Jane about that eventually, but right now she had enough on her plate and ignored Jane's buzzing.

"He must be one tough S.O.B. to have lived through that shit," Joker said.

Shepard smiled, "Yeah. He really was. Now, I just hope he's tough enough to live through himself."

"That bad, huh?" Joker asked.

"Yeah, that bad," Shepard said.

"So, rumor has it that you and your boy toy turian shared 'a moment' this morning right in the middle of the mess hall," Joker said breaking the silence that had stretched out over a few minutes.

"What rumors, Joker? You don't leave this damn cockpit," Shepard said.

"Don't need to leave when I have a ship wide intercom system and security feeds at my fingertips," Joker said.

"So when you say 'rumor' what you really mean is you heard someone talking while you were spying on them," Shepard said.

"Uh, duh. I mean, yes, ma'am," Joker said with a smirk.

"Smartass. Well, he's not my 'boy toy turian' and we didn't have 'a moment'. Garrus has been really supportive of me with all the crap that's happening," Shepard said.

"I don't know, Commander. Rumor has it he was sitting pretty close to you and he put his hand on you. Tali said he turned your chin to make you look at him, that's got to mean something. At least that's what Tali thinks," Joker said.

Shepard turned sideways in her chair and leaned towards Joker. She suppressed a smile as he watched her out of the corner of his eye. She reached out a hand and repeated the gesture that Garrus had used on her.

"Ow, ow, watch my bones. What are you doing?" Joker furrowed his brow but didn't resist the motion.

When he was looking at her, Shepard raised an eyebrow pointedly and let him go.

"Oh, great. Now you're going to propose marriage to me. I knew you had the hots for me, Commander," Joker said.

Shepard laughed and shook her head sitting back in her seat.

"You're something else, Joker," she said.

"I would get on the comm and tell everyone that you're in here touching me, but then you might try to die on us again," Joker said.

"Not funny, Moreau," Shepard said with a contradictory smile on her face.

Joker glanced over at her, "Really? I thought it was hilarious."

Shepard was relieved that Joker seemed oblivious to her midnight walk to the sleep pods and Garrus' resulting actions. She hoped he didn't make a habit of reviewing old feeds out of boredom or she'd never hear the end of it. Shepard chuckled and stood up.

"Alright, Joker. Give the ship a heads up at ETA thirty minutes," She patted him on the shoulder and turned to leave.

"There you go with the touching again," Joker said over his shoulder.

Shepard smirked and turned back, "Does it bother you, Joker? I mean really?"

"Maybe, it could. I mean, you're my commanding officer and all, it's not like I could just tell you to stop," Joker said.

"First of all, I wouldn't buy that load of crap from you of all people if you gift wrapped it with a pretty ribbon and said it was gold. Second, I have it on good authority that while I was unconscious one Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau was seen patting _my_ shoulder before he left the med bay," Shepard said.

"Oh. She told you. Figures. Damn tyrant," Joker grumbled.

"Yep," Shepard said popping the 'p'. "She told me, and it made my heart get all warm and fuzzy inside. Face it Joker, you're stuck with me."

"Yeah, yeah. Suppose there's worse people to be stuck with. Of course, that means you're stuck with me," Joker said turning his head to look up at her with a smirk.

"Wouldn't have it any other way, Joker," Shepard said.

She patted his shoulder again on principle before leaving. She heard him chuckle as she went and it brought a smile to her face. She went to the mess hall and grabbed a couple of protein bars. She plastered a smile on her face and nodded at Kaidan, it was getting increasingly difficult to look at either him or Ashley without imagining them dead.

At her locker, she decided what she wanted to take with her and looked over her gear from Ontarom. She had to admit that Garrus took better care of it all than she would have. She was just starting to put on her armor when Kaidan came over to help her. She did her best to keep her face neutral and smile when she thought it appropriate but some of her reservation must have leaked through.

"Are you nervous, Commander?" Kaidan asked.

"Yeah, I suppose I am. A lot riding on this, isn't there?" Shepard said.

Kaidan chuckles, "You might say that. I have faith in you, Commander. I think that if anyone can do this, it's you."

"Thanks, Kaidan. But aren't I the one who is supposed to be giving you a pep talk?" Shepard asked.

"You're only human, Shepard. We all need a little encouragement from time to time," Kaidan said.

Shepard gave him a genuine smile at that.

"ETA to Virmire, thirty minutes," Joker's voice came over the comm.

"Alright, Alenko. It's show time. Go get your ass in armor, marine," Shepard said.

"Yes ma'am," he chuckled and walked with her to the elevator.

The cargo bay was a flurry of motion as everyone gathered around their lockers to get there armor and weapons ready. The Mako was prepped and ready to go. They wouldn't all be able to go down in the Mako; it wasn't big enough for that. There would be a ground team going in first to secure the location and then the Normandy would land.

Shepard planned on taking Tali and Wrex down with her to clear the way for the Normandy. She knew that there would be a lot geth, and the potential for facing krogan was clear. She moved around the cargo bay making sure that everyone had the best of everything before anyone went groundside. Shepard's frustration over spending credits on the HMWP VII when she later found better weapons was short lived. When she saw how well the Karpov IX pistol handled, she was nothing short of giddy. She ended up getting herself a HMWSG VII shotgun from the Spectre requisitions as well. She kept the HMWP VII; it was up in her cabin next to her bed. It was somewhat of a trophy to her. Something to mark her ascension to Spectre status.

Everyone gathered around Shepard and she knew they were expecting her to say something. Shepard shifted her weight and took her time looking at everyone; meeting each pressing gaze with as much affected calm and confidence as she could.

"Alright, everyone. I can't even begin to try to explain everything that I know about what we're about to face. There are going to be some tense moments. Some of you might be tempted to question my actions and my choices," Shepard let her eyes rest on Wrex for a moment.

"I know that not all of you are soldiers. In a way, that makes your presence here that much more impressive because you aren't here on orders but you took it upon yourself. You made a choice to follow me in this hunt for Saren. I know that you all have different reasons, different fealties, but you are a part of my crew," Shepard said.

"And as a part of my crew, I expect you to follow my orders when we're out there. You don't have to agree with me, but I need you to know that when I make a call it is because it is what is best for the mission. However, just because I will do what needs to be done to see this thing through, it does not mean that I am willing to cast aside the needs and safety of my crew. If I ask you to do something you don't like, and inevitably I will, do as I ask knowing that I am either asking because it is imperative for the mission or for your safety," She let her eyes linger on Ashley and Kaidan.

"I want us all to walk out of this alive, and we _will_ walk out victorious. Alright, let's go. Wrex, Tali, with me in the Mako. Everyone else will go in with the Normandy once the ground team gets the AA Towers shut down and it's safe for Joker to land," Shepard said.

Everyone started to break away, Tali and Wrex heading to the Mako.

"Garrus? Walk with me a minute?" Shepard said before he could leave.

"Of course, Shepard," Garrus moved to Shepard's side and let her lead him towards Engineering.

There would be only humans in Engineering now; she wouldn't need to worry about being overheard. Once they were inside Engineering and the door was closed beside them, Shepard stopped Garrus in the doorway.

"Listen, things are going to get ugly with Wrex down there. Saren's set up a krogan breeding facility. He's making an army…," Shepard rubbed her forehead. "The salarians are going to have a plan to blow up the facility."

Garrus sucked a breath as the implications hit him, "What do you need me to do, Shepard?"

"I'll handle Wrex, but I'm going to need you to distract Ashley when the time comes. I will talk Wrex down. I've… seen how to do it, what needs to be said. I just know that a lot has changed from the visions I've been having and… well, to be honest, I don't like to put all my eggs in one basket," Shepard said.

When Garrus raised an eye ridge in question, "Human saying, ask me later and I'll explain it. Anyway, Ashley is going to want to take Wrex down. She won't wait for my signal. If she thinks things are going sideways, she's going to shoot Wrex in the back of the head. Keep her away from Wrex. Restrain her if you need to – hell; knock her ass out if you must. Kaidan will probably be upset but tell him it's on my orders, he'll back off. Think you can handle that?"

Garrus crossed his arms, "Shepard. I'm disappointed you think you even need to ask."

"Don't get cocky on me, Garrus. Williams can be kinda wily," Shepard said with a smirk.

Garrus put a hand on her shoulder making Shepard's heart flutter, "Don't worry, Shepard. I got this."

"Thanks, Garrus. Not just for this… but everything," Shepard said.

"Hey, when I said 'anything', I meant it," Garrus said, his visor constricting and expanding.

Shepard reached up and squeezed the hand on her shoulder, "Careful there, Garrus. I'm already considering putting you in charge of maintaining my gear from now on. You really shouldn't have done such a fantastic job."

Garrus chuckled, "Well, I don't do anything half-assed as you humans say."

"Good to know," Shepard said.

A blush started to creep up her cheeks so she quickly turned back to the door and cleared her throat, "We should, uh, we should get back out there."

"I'm right behind you, Shepard," Garrus said.

Shepard made straight for the Mako and climbed in the driver's seat. Wrex was already in the passenger's seat and Tali was manning the guns. Joker's voice came over the comm letting her know they were approaching the landing site. She saw the ramps by the cargo door start to lower and she started the Mako, pulling it forward. The cargo door opened and Shepard drove the Mako off the ship, kicking on the thrusters to soften the blow when they neared the ground. The Mako landed with a splash, kicking up the shallow water that filled the mountainous pass.

Shepard reached out for Jane's guidance. The pass wound and split in several locations as they went. Pockets of geth were spread out in strategic positions. Shepard went out of her way to make sure that they got every last one of them. They stopped at a gatehouse to clear out the top floor where Tali couldn't get a lock with the Mako. A second gatehouse housed the AA guns. It was heavily guarded, complete with a geth destroyer. Shepard deactivated the AA guns generator and opened the gates so she could pass through with the Mako. Joker radioed to let her know he was headed to the salarian base.

Back out at the Mako she saw the Normandy fly by overhead and disappear behind the mountains. They fought their way through more geth to clear out a final gatehouse. Joker called in to report that the Normandy reached the camp and was grounded. Shepard had expected as much. The rest of the way to the salarian camp was clear. She hopped out of the Mako and made her way up to the salarian she recognized from her visions.

"Commander Shepard, Council Spectre. I'm sure you were hoping for more reinforcements but the message you sent the Council was unclear. They sent me to investigate the nature of your current status and to render aid," Shepard said coming to a stop next to Ashley.

"Captain Kirrahe, Third Infiltration Regiment STG. That is unfortunate; we really could have used a fleet. I've lost a lot of men investigating this place," Kirrahe said.

"What's here?" Kaidan asked from Shepard's other side.

"A krogan breeding facility. Saren has set it up as his base of operations. He's raising a krogan army," Kirrahe said.

Wrex walked over, "Breeding krogan? How is that possible?"

"Apparently Saren discovered a cure for the genophage," Kirrahe said.

Shepard shifted watching Wrex closely, "We can't let Saren take control of a krogan army. The Council isn't taking this reaper threat seriously, and they aren't committing more people to stopping Saren. We're in this alone."

"Reapers. Yes, I recall mention of that in the reports you made to the Council. Perhaps if we make it out of here alive, you can fill me in on the details, Commander? For now, we have to find a way to ensure that this facility and its secrets are destroyed," Kirrahe said.

Shepard had to school her features to keep from wincing.

Wrex shook his head, "This can save my people. We aren't destroying this place."

Kirrahe looked from Wrex to Shepard, "That would be a tremendous mistake. The krogan would be unstoppable. The Council would never approve, Spectre. They won't make that mistake again."

"Wrex…," Shepard said in warning as he moved towards the salarian.

He turned to look at Shepard; his anger was nearly a physical presence on its own, "Shepard. My people are not a mistake. If there is a cure for the genophage I want it!"

"I know Wrex," Shepard said.

Wrex stormed off down the beach and started firing his gun at the fish in the water. Shepard glanced over at Garrus who had been standing a few feet away. He nodded discreetly and strode over to stand next to Ashley. Shepard turned back to Kirrahe.

"I fear this may be problematic," Kirrahe said.

"I'll handle Wrex, you figure out how we're going to pull this off," Shepard said.

She started to go to Wrex but Kaidan spoke up, "Things here are worse than I thought they'd be, are you sure we can pull this off, Commander?"

"Absolutely, Alenko," Shepard said.

"What about Wrex, ma'am? Look at him, he's about to explode… those poor fish," Ashley said.

"Let me handle Wrex, Williams. I can talk him down," Shepard said.

"If you say so ma'am, but I'll keep an eye on him just in case," Ashley said.

"Williams, let me handle Wrex," Shepard commanded before turning her back, trusting Garrus to do his job.

She heard Garrus strike up a conversation as she walked away, "What weapons did Shepard set you up with?"

She stopped a few feet away from Wrex and he turned to look at her.

 _"… all… very, very…many changes… may not… help you,"_ Jane said.

"Changes is what you wanted, Jane," Shepard reminded her.

 _"… but I… help you… don't… happening… my best,"_ Jane said.

Understanding her intent, Shepard thought back to Jane, "I understand. Do what you can and try to give me a heads up if I'm walking into completely new territory."

 _"Yes,"_ Jane said.

"We're not doing this, Shepard. This isn't right. My people need this cure. We've suffered from the Council's betrayal for too long," Wrex said.

"You're right. You have, but we have to do this Wrex," Shepard said. "You heard what Shiala said on Feros. You've fought krogan under Saren's influence. You know we can't let this continue. We can't let Saren have an army of krogan who are bent to his will."

 _"Good,"_ Jane said.

"We don't let Saren have them; you said he'd be here. We kill him, problem solved," Wrex said turning to face Shepard.

"Problem not solved, Wrex. Even if we do kill Saren here, the things that he's done to these krogans' minds isn't going to end with Saren. Benezia said that it was the ship, Sovereign that causes the indoctrination. And I firmly believe she is right. Everything that I have seen says she is right. We know that Saren has a lot of people following him. Anyone of them might step up to take his place. This thing isn't as simple as killing Saren," Shepard said.

 _"Good?"_ Jane said sticking to single words since they were the easiest to get through.

"I'm willing to take that chance, Shepard. This is my people we're talking about," Wrex said stepping closer to Shepard to lean his face close to hers.

"And I'm not willing to take that chance, Wrex. This is the entire galaxy we're talking about if Saren or one of his flunkies get their hands on these krogan or are allowed to keep the knowledge of how to make more somewhere else," Shepard said standing her ground.

 _"Bad,"_ Jane said.

"I've been loyal to you, Shepard. You've got to give me something better than this, Shepard. On the Normandy, you made it clear that you expect us to all follow your orders. I've done everything you've asked, Shepard without question but if this is going to happen, I have to know it's for the right reasons," Wrex said pointing his gun at Shepard.

Shepard fought back the urge to pull out her own gun. She heard Ashley screaming at Garrus down the beach, telling him to let her go. Shepard closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath.

 _"New. Good,"_ Jane said.

"He's pointing his gun at me and that's good?" Shepard asked.

 _"Always does,"_ Jane said. _"You're… at him… restrained."_

"Wrex. These krogan are not your people. They are mindless tools that Saren is using to bring about the destruction of all civilization. Tools, just like the Council treated the krogan only he won't be as kind when he's done with them. I know you want more for your people, Wrex. I want more for them, too. But is this really how you want to get it?" Shepard asked waving her hand out towards the facility.

 _"Very good,"_ Jane said.

Wrex lowered his gun, "Alright, Shepard. You've got a quad. You've made your point. I want Saren's head for this. His head, Shepard. We don't turn him into the Council, we take his head. Promise me that, Shepard."

"You got it, Wrex. In the meantime, I'm keeping you with me. Now, I can't keep my eyes on you the whole time, there's no telling what we'll find in there so don't make this hard on me," Shepard said dropping her voice low and praying it wouldn't carry to anyone else' ears.

"I mean, who knows what data you might be able to find while I'm not looking," Shepard raised an eyebrow.

 _"New,"_ Jane said. _"Nice touch."_

"Thanks," Shepard thought.

Shepard knew her message had been received when Wrex's eyes grew a little wider and the corner of his mouth twitched, "You don't need to worry, Shepard. I won't make this difficult for you."

Shepard smiled, "So, are we good?"

"We're good, let's get this over with," Wrex said.

Shepard patted Wrex on the shoulder and made her way back to the very pissed off Ashley. Shepard stopped in front of Ashley and crossed her arms over her chest. She pursed her lips and waited for Ashley to look at her. Shepard could feel a sense of smug satisfaction coming from Jane.

"What did I say before we went groundside, Williams?" Shepard asked.

"He had a gun on you, ma'am. I felt duty-bound to intervene," Ashley said.

"I gave you an order, Williams. When I give you an order you are expected to follow that order. You above all others, the exception being Alenko, on my team are expected to follow any order I give regardless of what you think about that order," Shepard said with a cold stare. "Now, maybe I've just been too friendly with you while we're on the ship and that gave you the impression that it's OK to disregard my orders when you deem it necessary. If that's the case, Williams, then you tell me now and I will be sure to keep shit so formal it makes you want to cry. Do I make myself clear, Williams?"

"Yes ma'am. Sorry ma'am. It won't happen again." Ashley said.

"Let her go, Garrus," Shepard said.

Garrus let Ashley's wrists that he had pinned behind her back go. Ashley rolled her shoulders and rubbed at her wrists.

"You see, that's how you follow an order," Shepard said.

 _"Ouch,"_ Jane said.

"Too much?" Shepard asked Jane.

 _"Not… my book,"_ Jane said.

She turned and made her way back to Kirrahe, "What have you got, Captain?"

"Our ship's drive system can be converted into a twenty-kiloton ordnance. It will have to be placed in the far side of the facility for this to work." Kirrahe said. "It can be moved to the location in your ship, but ground teams will have to clear the area first and disable the AA guns."

"With all due respect, Captain, but we don't have enough men for that," Kaidan said.

"I assume you've thought this through completely and there is no other way?" Shepard asked Kirrahe.

"I have, and there is not. I will divide my men into three teams. We will hit the front of the facility while your 'shadow' team sneaks in the back." Kirrahe said.

"You'll suffer heavy losses, Captain," Shepard said. "It would be best if you can create a diversion that doesn't involve throwing your men at their fortifications. Give me a minute?"

 _"… doing?… oh… not bad… works,"_ Jane said.

"Time is short, Commander, please hurry," Kirrahe said.

Shepard opened her comm link, "Tali I need you over by the main tent."

"Right away, Commander," Tali said.

A moment later Tali walked up, "How can I help, Shepard?"

"Tali, we need a diversion. Something to throw at the front of the facility to distract the geth and probably krogan long enough to give Kirrahe's men a fighting chance. The more damage, the better. And we need it quick. Any ideas?" Shepard asked.

"The fastest I could do would be to take apart the Mako's cannons and wire them for use as a turret. It would be heavy, it would take two or three men probably to set it up but it would be easy for them to do. I think I saw a cart in the cargo bay that they could use to help transport it to their location," Tali said.

 _"… my girl… genius… doesn't… it,"_ Jane said.

Shepard turned to Kirrahe and raised an eyebrow, "Kirrahe?"

"That would be quite useful. Perhaps a little difficult to transport but I think we could manage," Kirrahe said.

Shepard asked Tali, "How long?"

"Thirty minutes maybe? With a little help I could probably have it ready in twenty," Tali said.

"Good with you, Captain?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, I believe we can spare the time for such a weapon," Kirrahe said.

She turned back to Tali, "Do it. Garrus, give her a hand."

"I think you may have just pushed the odds in our favor. Excellent work, Commander," Kirrahe said.

"Not my work, Captain, but I'll be sure to tell Tali you said so," Shepard said.

"One more thing, Commander. I will need one of your team to accompany us to help coordinate the teams," Kirrahe said.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Captain. They can help you to coordinate from this base but as soon as I leave, they leave," Shepard said.

"Commander, this mission is too important for personal preferences to stand in the way," Kirrahe said.

"It's not a matter of personal preferences, Kirrahe. You're taking your men into be slaughtered. I'm not sending one of mine," Shepard said. "I'm giving your teams all of the help that I can by having Tali take apart my Mako. I will gladly give you whatever aid I can as we go; sabotage their defenses as I can and I will be happy to airlift your team out of here when the bomb is set, but my team stays with the ship or with me."

Kaidan shifted uncomfortably next to her. Ashley stayed still and quiet, her eyes locked dead ahead.

"I see. That is most unfortunate. I suppose I will have no choice but to take you up on your offer to help coordinate from here," Kirrahe said.

 _"New!"_ Jane said. _"… got… agree… press the…"_

"I can help them, Commander," Kaidan said.

"Thank you, Alenko. Captain, is there no one that you have that would be able to aid with co-ordinations on the field?" Shepard asked.

"No one else of rank, I'm afraid. I will give it some thought, though. My men are all well trained. A few of them may soon even be up for promotion," Kirrahe said.

Kaidan left with Kirrahe to go over the maps and help to coordinate as he could. Twenty minutes later, Tali and Garrus returned pulling a cart loaded with their rigged turret. Shepard watched with pride as Tali and Garrus showed the salarians how to assemble and dissemble the turret as well as how to use it once it was in place. The men assigned to man the turret spent a few minutes putting it together an taking it back apart until they were moving with speed and precision. The teams were assigned and Kirrahe gathered before his men to give them a speech.

Shepard wasn't paying much attention but she was pretty sure she heard him say something about holding the line far more times than was necessary. She was lost in thought, wondering what impact her actions here would have. She couldn't shake the nagging thought that she might be causing the mission to fail somehow by refusing to send one of her team. She assured herself that these salarians were STG; the best the salarians had to offer. Surely they could manage their own teams. She glanced at Kaidan and Ashley. Ashley was pissed off at Shepard, she could see it all over her face but she had fallen in line and that was all that mattered. Kaidan was frowning and his brow was furrowed. He was unhappy about something; possibly her refusal to send one of her team with Kirrahe. She wasn't too worried though, he'd have to sort his own feelings out on this one. Kaidan was a reliable soldier, he'd do as he was told when push came to shove.

When Kirrahe was done talking, Shepard called Garrus and Wrex to be on her 'shadow' team. The others were making their way back to the Normandy to secure the bomb. Shepard led her team through the ankle-deep waters with their guns drawn. Kirrahe's voice came over the comm directing his teams. Shepard let Jane lead her through the area, heading straight for the communications tower. After killing the geth that were guarding the area, Shepard disabled the communications uplink to make it a little easier for Kirrahe's teams.

Pushing forward, Shepard went out of her way to take down every pocket of geth that Jane could remember and kept her eye on her scanners for more. They made their way to the satellite uplink tower and Shepard shot down the satellite while Garrus and Wrex focused on the geth and krogan. Once the satellite fell, she joined them in firing on their enemies. She was glad to see that Wrex wasn't hesitating as he used a Throw to keep the krogan from charging.

The refueling station proved to be a bit trickier than the other locations. The assault and rocket drones forced Shepard back until she could get a bead on the fuel tank that was beneath the larger group of drones. Shepard shot the tank; the resulting explosion took care of half the drones for her. The remaining drones weren't getting close enough for it to do much damage when she shot the second tank, so she had to take them out with guns and Garrus' tech.

At the facility's back entrance, geth shields dotted the walkways. Shepard saw both krogan and geth near the doors. She took advantage of the geth shields that were on her side of the walkway leading up the building while they lasted. She concentrated on keeping the krogan on their side by using her biotics to knock them back or lift them into the air while Wrex filled them full of holes. When the last krogan was down they turned their attention to the geth only to find that Garrus had already cleaned house.

They moved across the walkway and through a door on the far right. The door opened up on another walkway that led down to a row of locked doors. Garrus hopped on the console and set to work opening the doors for them. He offered to divert any guards by triggering an alarm on the other side of the base, it would put more heat on Kirrahe's teams but clear the way for them. Shepard told him there wasn't any fun in that; it earned her a sly grin from Garrus and a low chuckle from Wrex.

With the doors now unlocked, Shepard's team moved into the building to face geth destroyers and indoctrinated salarians. Kirrahe had said he'd lost a lot of men to this place, he just didn't specify how exactly. Thanks to Jane, Shepard wasn't surprised and didn't hesitate to shoot. The room was filled with crates providing her plenty of cover as she snaked her way around the destroyers to shoot at them while their backs were turned. A few stairs at the back of the room led her to more salarians and a geth juggernaut.

"Shit!" Shepard said ducking back behind a crate.

 _"… didn't think… this time,"_ Jane whispered.

Shepard turned around the corner of the crate to fire her shotgun into the juggernaut's chest before moving back down the stairs. She gave orders to her team to hit it with everything they had. The juggernaut rounded the corner and stood at the top of the steps where it was hit full force with both Shepard and Wrex's Carnage shot gun blasts, and Garrus' assault rifle Overkill. The juggernaut stumbled forward and crashed down the stairs. Shepard skirted around its mechanical corpse to put down the crazed salarians before taking her team through the door at the back.

They passed through the small room and out another door onto a catwalk overlooking detention cells. She heard a salarian call out to her from one of the cells as she passed. Another door opened into a room with more indoctrinated salarians that were easily incapacitated. An elevator stood out against the wall on the right-hand side, situated between two other doors.

Shepard turned to face the doors while Wrex moved to the computers in the room. Garrus walked up next to Shepard and like her, turned his back to Wrex.

"You, uh, do know what he's doing, right?" Garrus asked quietly.

Shepard shrugged her shoulders before glancing at Garrus, "I didn't see anything. I have no clue what you're talking about."

Garrus nodded slowly, but she could see the tension in his mandibles, "Alright, Shepard."

When Wrex joined them again Shepard took the first door down to the detention cells below. She spent some time talking to the salarian through the thick glass. He said his name was Lieutenant Ganto Imness and he told her all about the horrors he was forced to watch as Saren's people put his fellow salarians through the indoctrination process. Apparently, they had left him alone as a control subject. Shepard was hesitant, but he sounded sane and Jane seemed amendable to the idea so Shepard released Imness but told him he was on his own. The salarian wasted no time fleeing the facility, hoping to escape the blast range before Shepard blew the place up.

Another cell was filled with salarians that were long past saving. They milled about mindlessly, groaning. Shepard opened the cell and shot each one of them. It was a mercy, that wasn't life in there anymore; they were hollow shells – nearly husks. Wrex grunted in approval as they made their way back up top and through the other door. It led upstairs to more detention cells where Shepard stopped to talk to another coherent salarian prisoner. This one, Private Menos Avot was definitely indoctrinated even if he wasn't as mindless as the others. He begged her to let him out but she refused. Distraught, the salarian charged the cell and cracked his head on the glass before slumping to the ground. Shepard opened the door and shot him in the head before doing the same for the ones in the next cells. Stairs past the cells led down to more of the indoctrinated.

They made their way back to the elevator to the research labs. The room was lined with fusion containment cells holding husks in stasis. Shepard ignored them and moved deeper into the room towards where she knew a krogan and asari would be found. She was spotted and the asari called out for guards. The husks poured out of their stasis chambers and charged at Shepard's team. She trusted in Wrex and Garrus to keep the husks off of her while she focused first on taking down the asari before turning her gun on the krogan doctor.

When the room was clear, Shepard was careful to keep her eyes off of Wrex while she examined the fusion containment cells and dug through crates. Wrex bellowed with rage and Shepard heard a crash. She turned to see him knocking computers off tables and knocking over machines and cursing.

 _"Not good,"_ Jane whispered.

"Clearly," Shepard thought back with a frown.

"Nothing! There's nothing here, Shepard. They must have destroyed it all when they saw us coming," Wrex bellowed.

"I'm sorry, Wrex. It was worth a shot. Don't lose focus on me now, Wrex," Shepard said.

Wrex slammed his fist into a wall before taking a few deep breaths.

He hung his head, "I'm with you, Shepard."

A door in the middle of the room led to another exterior walkway. They followed it around the side of the building and to another door guarded by two troopers. Shepard didn't even need to slow down to take them out and then she was through the door. An asari was hiding under the table when the door opened.

She came out of hiding and begged for her freedom. She said her name was Rana Thanoptis and tried to barter for her life by unlocking the way to the elevator to Saren's lab. Shepard waited for her to open the elevator before shooting her in the head. She didn't know why she felt the need to justify the action to Garrus, but she did.

"She was nowhere near as innocent as she tried to make herself sound," Shepard said.

Garrus didn't seem to care in the slightest. Wrex eyed the asari's computer and Shepard turned away. He wasn't able to find anything there about the krogan but sent some information about indoctrination to Shepard's omni-tool before they went through the door and across the walkway. The next door opened into a small room with the elevator.

The elevator let them off on a platform. Down below, was a prothean beacon. Shepard had expected Wrex to insist on using the beacon himself. She didn't want to have to explain to him that all of the things she had been doing lately had nothing to do with the beacon but it turned out that she didn't need to. Wrex was more focused on losing information that could have helped to save his people.

Shepard made her way down the staircase and activated the beacon. Like before, green light reached out from it and lifted her off of her feet flooding her mind with images of death and destruction. When it released her, she dropped to her knees on the concrete. Garrus was there to slide a hand under her arm and help pull her to her feet.

"You good, Commander?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah, I'm good," she said.

Shepard walked back up the stairs and on to where the platform extended out into the room. Red holographic controls had opened up to the left and right. As she approached, a looming image of Sovereign appeared.

"You are not Saren," Sovereign said.

"Nope," Shepard said popping her 'p'. "But I know who you are. I know what you are. I know what you're trying to do. And I will stop you. So, we done here? Good. Fuck you."

Shepard raised her pistol and fired into the power sources that lined the wall below, the holographic image flickered and disappeared. She turned to see Garrus and Wrex staring at her wide eyed.

"What? He's a big bad reaper and our puny mortal minds can't even begin to understand. They bring order to the chaos blah, blah, blah. I've already heard it all. Don't need to hear it again," Shepard said.

" _That_ was a reaper? I thought it was just a reaper ship!" Garrus said.

"Oh, did I forget to mention that? Sorry," Shepard said.

"Uh, Commander?" Joker's voice came through the comm.

"I'm here, Joker," Shepard said.

"I don't know what you did, but this has you written all over it. Whatever it was, you pissed someone off good. That ship, Sovereign, its headed right for you now. That thing just pulled a turn that would shear any of our ships in half," Joker said.

"Thanks for the heads up, Joker," Shepard said.

A geth destroyer met them back out on the walkway. The destroyer charged at Shepard while the trio fired at it and it crashed just before reaching her. She stepped over it and moved to the door at the other end of the walkway. As they went through the door she saw a bridge being lowered to connect the walkway to the next area. Two heavily shielded krogans waited on the other side. Beyond them a door led to a hallway that wrapped around to the left before exiting back outdoors.

A tiered deck lined the side of the building, narrowing into a walkway that curved upwards around the corner before empting out onto another tiered deck. Krogan and geth waited at the top. The foot soldiers were of little concern but the rocket drones were more problematic. They had more options for cover in this area and so were able to avoid major injuries. When the drones were down, Shepard headed up the stairs to shut off the turret generator. Just then, more geth arrived from behind her team. Shepard was ready for them though, and the three more that appeared when the elevator opened up beside her.

She kicked the geth corpses out of the way and stepped into the elevator. The elevator let them out in a hall. Shepard stopped to raid the Medi-gel station, restocking her supply before heading towards the next door. A geth stalker fired on her team the second the door was opened. Shepard used her biotics to ground it while Garrus finished it off. The path to the door across from them was filled with ankle-deep water. Hydraulic support beams lined either side.

Shepard hit the door control and the door slid up, letting her into the location that they would be placing the bomb. She moved back from where the Normandy would be landing when she saw it fly in overhead. The cargo doors opened and she noticed none of the men helping Ashley unload the bomb was Kaidan.

A cold sense of dread washed over her, "Williams, where's Alenko?"

"He's with the salarians, ma'am," Ashley said.

 _"No… Kaidan… damn it,"_ Jane whispered.

"What? What do you mean he's with the salarians? What happened?" Shepard demanded.

"After your team left, Kaidan decided he was going to help Captain Kirrahe. He told me to tell you that he accepts the consequences, whatever they may be but that it was the right thing to do," Ashley said.

The Normandy took off to go to the rendezvous location.

"Gods damn it, why didn't you try to stop him?" Shepard raised her voice.

"He's a superior officer, ma'am. I was just following orders," Ashley said.

Shepard was too furious to care about the spiteful edge Ashley's voice had taken on. Kaidan was with the salarians. One of them was going to have to die now.

"Damn it, Williams!" Shepard yelled, her hands clenching into fists at her side.

"Commander, I uh, I don't think I'm going to make it to the rendezvous point," Kaidan's voice broke through the comm.

Ashley's face went pale, "Commander, I'm going to need a couple of minutes to finish arming –."

"There isn't time," Shepard said quietly.

She felt Garrus move up beside her in silent support.

"I'm sorry, ma'am?" Ashley said.

"I said there isn't fucking time!" Shepard yelled.

Shepard opened her comm link, "Kaidan. I – I can't come for you. I'm sorry. The geth dropship will be here any second and if I leave now… Williams and the rest of the bomb crew will die. This was why I told Kirrahe no. Damn it, Kaidan. I wish you had listened."

"It's alright, Commander. I understand. I have no regrets. You protect the others and get that bomb set. I'm sorry, Ash. Be good to the Commander, she's going to need you at her side," Kaidan said.

"What? No! You knew?! You knew this was going to happen and you didn't tell us? No, Commander, go get LT. I'll deal with the bomb. Don't worry; I'll make sure it goes off. No matter what," Ashley said.

Shepard shook her head slowly, fighting back the tears in her eyes, "No, Williams. That's not going to happen. Finish with the bomb and prepare for a fight. The geth are on their way and Saren won't be far behind."

"I… yes ma'am," Ashley said.

Shepard pointed at the door opposite of the one she entered by, "There will be krogan behind that door. Wrex, Garrus."

Shepard opened the door and the three of them opened fired. Shepard was so filled with rage that despite her best intentions, despite her machinations, Kaidan was still going to die. She charged one of the krogan, firing into it over and over again. Shepard heard Garrus swear and Wrex roar. The sound of their pounding footsteps let her know that they were right behind her. When the severely wounded krogan was within a few feet of Shepard, she used her biotics to fling him against the sharp edge of one of the hydraulic supports snapping his spine in half. He dropped back to the ground and she fired three more shots into him before turning to help Garrus finish off the one he had closed in on. Wrex was fine on his own. He slammed his head into the other krogan's, bellowing with all of his rage before reaching up and snapping the krogan's neck.

Chests heaving, the three of them stood looking at one another for a quiet moment. Shepard chose to ignore the worry and compassion she saw in Garrus' eyes. She turned and went back through the door. A few seconds later the geth dropship flew in overhead. Troopers, snipers, a destroyer, juggernaut, and a prime – they all poured out of the ship. Shepard fought harder and with more determination then she though she ever had before. She took more glee in decimating her enemies than she thought she had ever felt before. Jane was reduced to a buzzing in her head, her words unable to break through Shepard's rage.

Garrus and Wrex echoed her flurry of shots with their own. Ashley scrambled to get the bomb prepped. The rest of the bomb team surrounded her to protect Ashley and the bomb, but they didn't last long against the towering geth prime. When finally the last geth crashed to the watery floor, Shepard leaned against a crate and with her hands on her elbows sucking in deep breaths. She could feel Garrus' eyes on her and she lifted her head to meet his gaze. They watched each other in that moment of stillness without saying a word. Neither dropped their eyes from the other until Shepard heard Kaidan's voice break through on the comm. Shepard closed her eyes and switched to her pistol. The shotgun would be too slow for Saren. She was listening to one of her team die – her friend die, when Saren swooped down into sight.

Shepard wasted no time firing her pistol at the turian but they were completely deflected by his shields. He returned fire, flinging blasts of biotics at her and she dove back behind cover. Saren dropped down to the ground and started walking straight towards Shepard's location. He stopped halfway there; his hovering platform slowly lowered down next to him.

Shepard stepped out of cover and fired several shots rapidly at Saren as he started walking towards her again. He didn't even flinch as his shields knocked her bullets aside. He stopped on the dry strip of concrete that stood between the two exits. Shepard ducked back behind the crate letting her pistol cool down.

"I applaud you, Shepard. My geth were utterly convinced the salarians were the real threat. An impressive diversion," Saren said. "Of course, it was all for nothing. I can't let you disrupt what I have accomplished here. You can't possibly understand what's really at stake."

"Sure I do. You let Sovereign make you his bitch because you were too chicken shit to fight him instead. You're indoctrinated, Saren," Shepard yelled from behind the crate.

"Fight it, Shepard? Sovereign cannot be fought. You think that your pathetic attempt to thwart my plans means anything to Sovereign. You've barely managed to catch his notice, Spectre," Saren spat the last word out like it was the punchline to a bad joke. "Don't you understand, Shepard? The reapers are coming. They cannot be stopped, and the only way for any of us to survive this is for us to cooperate."

"You're insane, Saren. Sovereign isn't going let you survive. You're nothing more to it than a slave, a tool, to be discarded when it is no longer of use. I will die before I allow myself to become a mindless slave," Shepard said.

Shepard used hand signals to order Wrex and Garrus into place, Saren wasn't going to put up with her diatribe much longer. Shepard stood up out of cover to mask the movements of her team, keeping Saren's eyes locked on her.

"You cannot win, Shepard. Why fight? Why doom yourself and everyone around you to certain death when survival is possible and victory is not? This is why I never brought this to the Council. We organics are ruled by emotion, and not logic," Saren said. "Think of how many lives could be spared, Shepard."

"Are you fucking kidding me? You really think you can convince me to – what? – join you and let myself become a puppet like you? Face it, Saren. You are indoctrinated. You are already completely and utterly lost to Sovereign and you don't even realize it!" Shepard said.

Saren shook his head as if in regret, "I tried to reason with you, Shepard. I had hoped that you would see that this is the only way. I cannot allow you to undo everything I have worked for, to forge an alliance between organics and machine. You must die."

Shepard signaled to her team as Saren hopped back on his hovering platform. They fired at Saren until he had retreated back towards the fuel tanks. She dodged out of the way of a rocket blast, rolling through the water to come up on her knees and fired at the fuel tank. The fuel tank exploded, sending Saren flying off of his hovering platform. He recovered and fired another blast at Shepard from the ground. It knocked her and her team into the air and flat on their backs.

Then he was on her, just like in the vision. His hands wrapped around her throat and drug her through the water a few feet before he lifted her into the air. She couldn't breathe. Her mind flashed back to her dream, she was floating off into space as the Normandy fell apart around her. Her suit was ruptured and her air was escaping. She clawed at her Saren's hands, trying to pry them away from her throat.

The bomb let out a warning siren as the lights began to whir and flash, indicating that it was live. Saren turned his head at the noise and Shepard reared back her fist. He turned back to her and she let it slam down in the center of his face. He dropped her to the ground and stumbled back. Shepard scrabbled to her knees, her eyes landed on her pistol a foot away in the water. She scooped it up and pointed it at Saren. He was back on his platform and her head was swimming. She couldn't get her eyes to focus but she stood up and fired at him anyway. The shots that didn't miss weren't enough to kill him or even knock him off of his platform. All too soon, Saren was gone from her sight.

"Damn it!" Shepard yelled.

Garrus and Wrex were pulling themselves back to their feet. Shepard went to Ashley who was sitting in the water leaning against the bomb. She was clutching a hand to her abdomen. Shepard reached out a hand and pulled Ashley to her feet. She heard a cough from somewhere nearby, her eyes roamed over the area looking for signs of life. One of the men from the bomb team was still alive. He was badly wounded but still breathing. Wrex moved over to the man and picked him up. Ashley wasn't moving very fast so Shepard threw her over her shoulder in a fireman's carry. The Normandy was descending as they rushed to meet the ship.

Shepard got everyone on board and yelled at Joker over the comm, "Get us out of here, Joker!"

The Normandy took off and Shepard held on to Ashley the best she could when Joker turned the ship vertical. Still, the concussive force of the explosion was felt throughout the ship. When it settled again, Shepard let her eyes scan over Kirrahe and his men. Not many had made it to the rendezvous point, and Kaidan was not among them. Shepard noticed that they had managed to bring the turret back with them; just not Kaidan.

Shepard and Wrex got their wounded to the med bay only to find the room splashed with blood and a dead Toombs lying in the middle of the floor. Dr. Chakwas was kneeling over the man trying to perform CPR. A tourniquet had been wrapped around his arm just below the elbow in an attempt to staunch the flow of blood from the huge gash in his wrist. Dr. Tulina was covered in blood on her knees next to the other doctor, her hands fluttered about helplessly as she tried to find a way to help.

"No. Oh no. No, no, no," Shepard said helping Ashley into a chair.

Shepard rushed over to Toombs and fell to her knees next to the other two women.

"Commander, I – I – I am sorry. I do not know what happened," Dr. Tulina said looking at Shepard with horror on her face. "He seemed fine. He was calm and complacent. Then all of the chaos started down below and Dr. Chakwas left to meet you in the cargo bay in case anyone was injured. Before I could stop him, he had a scalpel in his hand. I – I – do not even know how he got it! Dr. Chakwas keeps all of the dangerous equipment locked away!"

"Oh, Toombs… why'd you have to go and do something so stupid?" Shepard groaned.

 _"You tried,"_ Jane said.

Dr. Chakwas leaned back on her heels, "He's gone, Commander. I'm sorry."

Shepard pulled herself up from the floor, her arms hung limply at her side, "We have wounded that need your attention now, Dr. Chakwas. I'm sure you did all you could. Thank you. Both of you."

"Where should I put him?" Wrex asked indicating the man slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Dr. Chakwas stood up and cleared the way to a bed for Wrex to lay the man on. Once Wrex laid the first man down, he went and picked up Toombs' corpse.

"And where do you want him?" Wrex asked.

Dr. Chakwas looked at Ashley briefly and deciding that she didn't need the bed she told Wrex to put Toombs on it instead. Shepard covered Toombs with a sheet and set to work cleaning up Toombs' blood from the floor and tables.

"Commander, you needn't bother with that. I can have someone else do it," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard ignored her. It wasn't her blood, but it was her mess. Dr. Chakwas sighed but went about tending to those who required her attention. When the floor was as clean as Shepard could get it, she left the med bay and went to the showers. She washed away the blood and sweat in water that was so hot it hurt. She thought she should probably be crying, but the tears just weren't there. She imagined they would be later. When she was clean, she shut off the water and dried herself off before standing in front of the mirror for a few minutes staring at her face. She wasn't sure she recognized it anymore. She wasn't sure if she knew who she even was anymore.

 _"You're… you…,"_ Jane said.

Shepard got dressed and called everyone to the debriefing room. Shepard sat stoically as everyone filed in. Ashley sat down next to Shepard.

"I can't believe that you knew this would happen and you didn't tell us. If anyone should have been left behind, it should have been me. Kaidan was a superior officer, he would have been more valuable to this mission and you know it, Commander," Ashley said.

Shepard turned her head and looked at Ashley, she blinked her eyes a couple of times but otherwise didn't move or speak. Ashley must have seen something in Shepard's eyes because she dropped the subject and turned to face the rest of the room.

"Commander, I believe that the beacon you encountered in Saren's base might have given you the missing parts of the vision. Perhaps if I –," Liara began.

"There isn't any need. I know where we need to go," Shepard said.

"You do?" asked Tali.

"We need to go to Ilos," Shepard said.

"Ilos! Yes, of course. I see, that makes sense, this is why Saren needed to find the Mu Relay. Ilos is one of hundreds of locations that can only be accessed through the Mu Relay," Liara said.

"We need to go to the Citadel first. To restock and refuel. I want to see the Council in person before we go to Ilos," Shepard said, her voice sounded hallow and dead to her own ears. "We're done here. Dismissed."

Everyone stood to leave the room and Joker came over the comm to ask her if she wanted him to link into the comm buoy nearby to call the council.

"There's no point, Joker. They don't want to hear what I have to say. I'll see them when we get to the Citadel. Go ahead and set the coordinates, please, Joker," Shepard said.

"Aye, aye, Commander," Joker said.

Shepard looked up to see that Garrus had lagged behind. The room was empty now besides the two of them. She met his gaze and Garrus seemed to flinch; it stung her deeply but she understood why. He was having trouble accepting that vacant look in her eyes just as much as she was.

"You did your best, Commander," Garrus said hesitantly. "More than what anyone else would have done."

Shepard didn't respond other than to close the distance between them and throw her arms around the turian's shoulders, pressing the side of her face against the hard plating of his armored chest. Garrus didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her waist, splaying his hands out against her back and pulling her in closer to him.

"I'm sorry," Shepard whispered and started to pull away.

Garrus tightened his arms, "No. You don't get to apologize for this. Not to me. Anything, Shepard. Anything."

Shepard nodded her head and allowed him to hold her for a minute. Being in his arms helped her to feel alive again; alive enough for a few tears to leak out of the corner of her eyes. Shepard started to pull away again and this time Garrus let her. She wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Why are you so good to me, Garrus?" she asked.

"Because you lie too well for me to trust you otherwise," Garrus said with a chuckle.

Shepard snorted indelicately and put a hand on his chest, pushing him back a step, "Alright, Vakarian. See if I put any new weapons in your locker anytime soon."

Garrus laughed, his mandibles flaring wide. Shepard's head fell to the side and her heart fluttered around in her ribcage. They left the debriefing room, Garrus headed to the cargo bay and Shepard to clean and maintain the pile of weapons and armor she had dumped on her cabin floor before going to take a shower. Cleaning the blood and gore from her armor only helped to stir the rage inside of Shepard once more.

After an hour of pacing around her cabin like a caged animal, she made her way down to the cargo bay. She wanted to check on the weapons lockers, hoping that it would take her mind away from the pain of having to leave one of her crew to die. The pain of returning to find Toombs had taken his own life in her absence.

Shepard stopped in front of Kirrahe, only now recalling that he and his men were aboard.

"Captain, I'm sorry. I had some things that required my attention," Shepard said.

"Understandable. I want to tell you that it was an honor working with Lieutenant Alenko, Commander. I understand that he returned to us against your orders. I attempted to persuade him to return to your ship, but he insisted that staying with me was the right thing to do," Kirrahe said, the translucent membranes in his eyes sliding over the red and black orbs periodically. "I do not regret that I was not more insistent, Commander. I fear that we would not have made it nearly as far, been able to provide nearly as great of a distraction without your Lieutenant's help. In short, his insubordination might have saved the mission."

"I should have expected if, if I'm honest. Kaidan was far too noble of a person to let something as small as a commanding officer's orders stand in the way of his integrity," Shepard said.

"I regret that I did not have the chance to know him better. Still, his actions today will not be forgotten. He has earned humanity a great deal of respect from the salarians. We will leave your ship as soon as you reach your next destination," Kirrahe said.

"We are headed to the Citadel now. It's a ways away, so if you would rather, we can drop you off somewhere else. Of course you are welcome to stay aboard until we reach the Citadel," Shepard said.

"I would not have you go out of your way, Commander. The Citadel will work out nicely seeing as we are now without a ship of our own. I will need to report to the Council as well. Have you spoken with them yet, might I ask?"

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose, "No, just sent in the report. The Council has a tendency to not want to hear what I have to say. I need some time to deal with our losses and get my crew in order before I deal with the Council. I plan on speaking with them in person on the Citadel."

"Ah. Yes, I forget that you are still new as a Spectre. Do not take the Council's ways personally, Commander Shepard, though personal they may feel. The Council has a strong tendency to be dismissive of everyone, even their Spectres," Kirrahe said.

Shepard laughed, "That so? Thanks, Kirrahe. I'll try to keep that in mind."

The salarian smiled, "I am sure that you need some time to process all that has happened here today, Commander Shepard. I am still very interested in hearing what you have to say about this reaper threat you mentioned. Perhaps you will have some time to speak about it once you've rested?"

"Absolutely, Captain. First thing tomorrow if you'd like," Shepard said.

"Excellent, I look forward to it," Kirrahe said.

Shepard smiled at him and excused herself. It was so hard to make polite conversation when she felt like screaming and crying all at the same time. She lost herself in the task of opening lockers and inventorying what was in each one, upgrading what she could from what they had collected on Virmire. She checked that every gun was clean and in working order; that the integrity of every piece of armor was still intact. She could feel their eyes on her. All of them. The salarians, Garrus, Wrex, and Ashley. She knew they were all watching her stiff motions and her hardened face.

"Commander?" Ashley stood at her station watching Shepard.

"What is it, Williams?" Shepard asked not looking at the other woman.

"Commander, about Alenko…" Ashley began.

Shepard let out a deep breath and leaned her head against the locker in front of her. She closed her eyes and tried to count down from ten. She could feel the sting in her eyes, threatening tears that still didn't come. Shepard turned to look at Ashley; she had her chin tilted up in defiance as she watched Shepard. Shepard glanced around the cargo bay and was surprised to notice that the salarians were suddenly missing. The tension that was brewing in the air must have discouraged their continued presence in the cargo bay. Or perhaps it was the brooding krogan that was standing just a few feet away from them.

"Ashley… Listen, I know that you think that I made the wrong call. You've made that clear. It was my call to make, though. What do you want me to say? I can't change it now," Shepard said.

Ashley closed the distance between her and Shepard and stood at parade rest with her legs shoulder length apart and her hands behind her back.

"With all due respect, ma'am, I was prepared to die. I was willing to set that bomb and stay with it, defend it with my life. You could have endangered yourself and the mission by staying that close to the bomb. I heard how Saren talked to you. He wasn't there to stop the bomb; he was there to stop you. If you weren't there, at the bombsite, he would have gone wherever you were. Tell me I'm wrong?" Ashley said.

Shepard slammed the locker closed, fury boiling in the pit of her stomach once more.

"Damnit Williams, what do you want from me? Do you want me to say that I wish I could change things? So that Kaidan was still alive and that you were dead in his place? Well tough shit, Williams," Shepard yelled at the gunnery chief. "Kaidan's still dead and you're still alive. I chose to save you because you were endangered while fulfilling orders that _I_ gave you. Kaidan made his _own_ choices, he endangered himself. He took very specific actions, made very specific calls on his _own_ authority to ensure that the mission was a success. He chose to die in service, and his death will be honored!"

She spun on heel to storm away but Ashley grabbed a hold of her wrist. Shepard wheeled around and planted her fist squarely in Ashley's face. Ashley stumbled back in shock as blood began to pour out of her nose. She reached her hands up, cupping them around her nose as tears filled her eyes. Shepard couldn't tell if the woman was crying from the pain – physical or emotional – or if it was simply a physiological response to having her nose broken. _Whoa! Shit. That was definitely a first._

"Fuck you, Williams! And fuck Alenko, too! Damn him for putting me in that position, for making me have to choose and gods… fuck you for making me have to doubt my choice now! How fucking dare you?! Go. Get out of my sight, now, Williams. Report to the med bay. Have your nose taken care of. That's an order!" Shepard's yells echoed back to her from the walls of the cavernous cargo bay.

Ashley snapped a shaky, blood soaked hand up to her forehead in salute before walking to the elevator. Shepard watched her go, her hands shaking and the tears she had been denied earlier started to well up in her eyes. Wrex chuckled as Ashley passed him and even though Shepard could see Ashley's shoulders tense she didn't look Wrex's way.

Shepard started pacing the area that stretched from lockers to the end of Ashley's work station. She was trying to calm herself but it was only getting worse.

"Fuck!" Shepard roared.

She first punched a locker and then when that failed to satiate she flung her arm across Ashley's desk sending everything that was on it flying across the room. She would have knocked the table over if it hadn't been bolted to the floor. She banged her hands down on the metal surface over and over and over again until she started to feel the need to rip something apart subsiding. _I don't… I don't think this is good._ She ran both hands over her face and continued the motion raking them through her hair. Hot tears started falling from her eyes and she dropped her hands down to her sides in defeat. Shepard tilted her head back looking up at the ceiling before making her way to the far side of the room. She leaned against a wall and let herself slide down to the floor. She sat with her arms draped across her bent knees, resting her head on her arms.

The sound of soft footsteps alerted her that someone was approaching but she didn't bother to look up. She saw a pair of turian feet move past the gap between her knees. Shepard continued to cry silent tears into her arms until she felt Garrus sit down on the metal floor next to her. He didn't speak and neither did she. After a moment, she felt him scoot a little closer to her and drape one of his long arms across her shoulders. She let herself lean into him, pressing herself against his chest and soaking up his warmth.

A few minutes later she heard the quiet whispering of Tali and Wrex's voices floating down to her. She couldn't make out what they were saying but she knew that Wrex must be relaying the events of her breakdown to Tali. A while later she heard the elevator open but still she did not look up. She heard Liara's voice, furtive as she spoke to Wrex before leaving again. Long minutes passed as Shepard let the tears fall freely, feeling the soft hum Garrus was making deep in his chest resonate through her body to calm her wounded soul. He never spoke; never tried to get her to speak and for that she was the most grateful. _He is always there for us. Always by our side; as friend or lover. There's no Shepard without Vakarian._

A half hour passed in relative silence. Shepard's tears had dried; all that remained was the occasional sniffle. The elevator opened again and Garrus' arm tightened around Shepard. His soft hum shifted into a low growl that rumbled through him. Shepard looked up to see that Ashley had returned. She was headed for her station when Wrex stepped in front of her and held out a hand.

"Get the fuck out of my way, Wrex!" Ashley yelled at him.

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you. She's just now starting to smell like herself again. Not all snarly and full of bloodlust," Wrex said calmly.

Ashley looked across the room, her eyes first seeing the mess that Shepard had made of her workstation before finally seeing Shepard in the shadows next to Garrus. Ashley's eyes locked on to Shepard's for a few seconds before dropped them to the ground. Slowly she nodded, turned around and got back into the elevator.

Garrus shifted beside Shepard drawing her attention to him. He watched her intently for a moment before rubbing her shoulder and standing up. He reached a hand out to her and pulled her to her feet when she accepted. He was stronger than she had imagined. She stumbled forward with the momentum nearly crashing into his chest but her reflexes compensated and she caught herself a mere two inches from his body. An image flashed through her head of her hands running up his chest and wrapping themselves around the back of his neck before she pressed her lips to his mouth. A different kind of heat flooded Shepard's mind. She heard Garrus take in a deep breath, filling his nostrils with her scent. She cleared her throat and took a step back. He turned her hand, still in his, so that he could see the bloody scrapes on her knuckles. She gently pulled her hand from his.

"It's fine. I've had far worse," her voice sounded hoarse and strained when she spoke.

"I've noticed," Garrus said his voice low and rumbly. "So, when we dock next how about I buy you a beer and in exchange you can tell me how good it felt to break her nose?"

Shepard coughed out a weak laugh, "Yeah. Sure. Sounds like a plan."

Shepard moved away from Garrus and started picking up Ashley's things, placing them carefully back on the table after assessing every object for damage. It didn't look like much of anything was broken, but she would replace whatever Ashley wanted. Shepard looked up to see Tali crossing the room. She must have been waiting for the all clear to approach. Tali stood wringing her hands for a moment before speaking softly.

"Are you alright, Shepard?" she asked.

Shepard placed a gun mod on the table and looked up at Tali, "Yeah, Tali. I'm alright. Sorry if I worried you."

"Oh, that's alright. I'm just glad that you're OK," Tali said as she started to help clean up Shepard's mess.

"Tali, it's my mess, you don't have to do that," Shepard said.

"I know," Tali said looking up at Shepard, but she continued to pick things up anyway.

Shepard smiled at her friend and when everything was back on the table, she gave the quarian a quick hug which seemed to startle her at first but she soon returned with gusto. Shepard looked over at Garrus who was now leaning against the Mako watching the two of them. He nodded to her once and she returned the gesture. Tali left Shepard to return to the Engineering and Shepard made her way towards the elevator. She paused to look at Wrex she wanted to say thank you to him and to the others for supporting her, for not judging her. She couldn't find the words though.

Wrex seemed to understand what she left unspoken and dipped his head, "Shepard."

A light smile tugged at her lips, she nodded in return, "Wrex."

She got on the elevator and headed to the med bay. She knew that Dr. Chakwas would come and find her soon if she didn't go to her first. The door slid open and she saw Ashley leaning against the wall holding an icepack to her face. She looked over at Shepard when she walked in but didn't say anything. Shepard walked over to the other woman, taking it slow so she didn't appear aggressive and leaned against the wall next to her. They both stood there quietly for a moment while Dr. Chakwas tried to look busy at her desk.

"I'm sorry, Ashley," Shepard finally said quietly.

 _"Aww… say… no reason… deserved…,"_ Jane spoke up.

"Don't be, I deserved it," Ashley said pulling the ice pack away from her face to look at Shepard. "And, I'm sorry. For questioning you. For making you doubt… for doubting you. I – I should be thanking you, for saving my life, I mean, ma'am."

 _"See?"_ Jane said.

"But not for breaking your nose?" Shepard grinned.

Ashley laughed and then groaned, "No ma'am. I probably could have gone without that. Dr. Chakwas set it though and gave me some painkillers as well as something to take the swelling down. I told her to save the Medi-gel for when we're on the field. Maybe a few days of having a sore face will teach me to keep my mouth shut."

 _"Unlikely,"_ said Jane.

Shepard made a soft snorting sound, "I uh, I cleaned up your station. Sorry about that, too. If anything needs replaced just let me know."

"Will do, ma'am," Ashley said.

Dr. Chakwas stood from her desk and turned to Shepard, "Well then, let's see to the mess you made of your hands, shall we?"

Shepard let Chakwas look over her hands as Ashley left the med bay. The doctor informed her that nothing was broken, but she already knew that. She watched passively as Dr. Chakwas applied an antiseptic to the scrapes and wiped the blood away. She gave her an anti-inflammatory to take and wrapped the hand in gauze first and then an elastic bandage before telling her to leave it on overnight at the least. Shepard mumbled her assent before leaving the med bay and heading for her cabin, her eyes went to Kaidan's station by habit expecting to see him there working. She felt something inside of her chest clench. She let out a shaky sigh as she entered her cabin and fell onto her bed, not even bothering to undress.

She woke up two hours later. She tossed and turned in her bed for ten minutes before sitting up to pull her boots and clothes off. She tossed them at the corner of the room, the boots thudded against the wall, and she lay back down. She spent another twenty minutes searching out sleep only to find that it was utterly elusive. Shepard got up and rummaged through her footlocker by the low light coming from her laptop. She found what she was looking for and pulled the black N7 tank top on over her head. She closed the locker and sat on it while she slid her legs into the red and black plaid pajama bottoms.

 _"Talk?"_ Jane asked.

"Not right now, Jane. I don't want to talk. I don't want to think," Shepard said.

 _"Alright,"_ Jane said.

She sat back down on the locker and ran her hands through her hair. With a sigh she stood up again and went to leave her cabin. When the door slid open she found herself face to face with a very startled looking Garrus. She felt her heart skip a beat.

"Commander! I – I uh, hmmm. I thought I heard something and I just wanted to make sure everything was alright," Garrus said.

Shepard bit her lip and searched Garrus' face before whispering, "Is that really why you're here?"

"Hmmm. Well, I… I did hear something… but…," Garrus' worlds strangled off in his throat.

Shepard dropped her eyes to the floor between them, the threshold into her personal space, "Stay with me Garrus? Just until I fall back to sleep. I don't want to be alone, not tonight."

She watched as he put first one foot and then the other forward, crossing that line and into the field of impropriety behavior for a subordinate. The door slid closed behind him, leaving them with nothing but the soft glow of her laptop and his visor. Shepard's heart thudded in her chest as she reached out and took his hand. It slid effortlessly into hers and closed around her bandaged fingers. She led Garrus back to her bed; standing in front of him still holding his hand as he sat down.

"Will you –," She gently cleared her throat and licked her lips, "will you take this off?"

She touched her fingertips to his chest plate. He let go of her other hand and began to work at the clasps of his armor. He hadn't said a single word since before he crossed her threshold. It was dark and she couldn't see him well. She didn't have the luxury of being able to smell his emotions, or see his heart rate. She began to have doubts. Maybe she had read everything wrong; maybe she was taking advantage of him – even if she didn't plan to cross the line too far, she was indeed crossing the line.

"Wait!" Shepard said, "Garrus you know that you don't… you don't have to be here. You don't have to stay, I mean. I can't… you shouldn't… if I'm making you uncomfortable or…"

Gods it felt like she was trying to rip her own heart out of her chest. Garrus' pulled the armor away from his body, sliding the back around to the front and laying it gently on the floor. A part of her mind was impressed at how quickly he was able to remove his armor, undoubtedly one of the many ways that the turians trumped the humans when it came to tactical designs. The dark undershirt he wore hugged his body like a second skin.

Garrus looked up at Shepard and took her hand. Gently he pulled her towards him wrapping an arm around her hips he guided her to sit sideways on his lap. Shepard's breath caught in her throat. Garrus wrapped both arms around her and held her body against his. She rested her head on his shoulder, her hands against his chest trapped between them. When her heart started to slow, she felt Garrus turn his head so that his mouth was closer to her ear.

Garrus whispered, "Lay down, Shepard. Get some sleep."

He twisted his torso, leaning back and moving his legs up; the motion pulling her body back to the bed to lie pressed against his. Shepard pulled away long enough to hand him her pillows and pull the blanket up over herself. Garrus adjusted the pillows to better support his body, leaving him in a slightly reclined position. Shepard snuggled back into the crook of his arm, resting a hand on his chest she let out a contented sigh.

Within minutes, Shepard was fast asleep but Garrus didn't move. He stayed there until the early hours of the morning. Making himself stay awake so he could feel his arms around Shepard. So he could hear the soft sounds of her breathing, and feel her hand on his chest. He stayed like that, completely still aside from the shallow rise and fall of his chest until he knew that the crew would be waking up soon. He didn't want Shepard to have to deal with any sideways glances, or awkward questions if anyone saw him leave her room. He knew that the cameras would have already recorded him entering, just as they would record him leaving but unless something happened in the middle of the night to cause an alarm, he doubted anyone would ever see the proof.

Garrus carefully untangled himself from Shepard, pausing when she stirred in her sleep. When she was still again, he slid off the bed and quietly watched her as he slid his armor back into place. He moved silently across the room and out of her cabin door with one final look back. No one else was awake yet, just the skeleton crew that ran things while everyone else slept and no one seemed to be moving on that deck. Garrus quickly slipped back into his sleeping pod and let himself steal a couple of hours of sleep, surrounded by the scent of Shepard if not with her in his arms.


	20. Chapter 19: Spirits, Yes

**Chapter 19: Spirits, Yes.**

Shepard awoke alone in the darkness of her cabin. She reached a hand out to touch the spot Garrus had occupied. It was still warm. She pulled the pillows he had been laying on against her chest and buried her face in them, breathing in his scent. She let herself fall back to sleep until her alarm went off.

Shepard groaned and rolled over to stare at the alarm like it was the bane of her existence. Finally she got up to turn the damn thing off, hugging a pillow to her chest. She stood looking at her bed for several long minutes before breathing in deeply and tossing the pillow back down. She made her bed and dug out her clothes for the day. Once she was dressed and had taken care of her personal hygiene, Shepard settled down to the middle of her floor and began meditating.

"Why will I be with Cerberus?" Shepard asked the first question that came to her mind.

 _"They spend two years bringing us back from the dead. They called it the Lazarus Project –,"_ Jane said.

"What do you mean they bring us back from the dead? That's not even possible, is it?" Shepard asked.

 _"The dream you had, about the Normandy getting attacked and us dying in space… Liara searched for our body. The Illusive Man told her that Cerberus could save us. She gave us to Cerberus. They spent two years and more money than you want to know restoring functionality using cybernetic implants and I don't even know what all else,"_ Jane said.

Shepard fought against the panic that welled up whenever she thought of the dream. It didn't help her much to hear it from Jane directly that it wasn't just a dream.

"Can I change that? Keep myself from dying?" Shepard asked.

 _"I don't know. I know it happens sometime after we kill Saren on the Citadel. A month or two maybe. We're ordered to clear out pockets of remaining geth resistance after defeating Saren and Sovereign. We're in the Amada System of the Omega Nebula when a collector ship hits us. Well, you saw what happens,"_ Jane said.

"Who are the collectors exactly, why are they important? Why do they attack us?" Shepard asked.

 _"The collectors are what the reapers turned the protheans into. No one else knows it; they just think they are a strange, quiet race who mostly stays to themselves. Most people think they're not even real. Anyway, a reaper called Harbinger still has control over them. He's able to possess them and directs their actions. The Normandy is attacked because of us. Harbinger knows we killed Sovereign and wants us out of the picture,"_ Jane said.

"So what does Cerberus want with me?" Shepard asked. "Why spend so much time and resources to bring us back?"

 _"I've always wondered if there were reasons the Illusive Man wasn't telling me, but he claims it was because he believed us about the reapers and thought we could stop the threat. The collectors started abducting entire human colonies. He wanted us to stop it,"_ Jane said.

"Who is the Illusive Man you keep talking about?" Shepard asked.

Jane brought up an image of the Illusive Man for Shepard to see, _"He's the leader of Cerberus. He provides us with everything we need to go after the collectors. He had the Normandy rebuilt and somehow convinced Joker to be the pilot. He thought that having the familiarity of Joker's presence would help us to trust him. Don't trust him, Dawn. Use him, take everything you can from him, but never trust him."_

"OK, so Cerberus brings us back somehow but why do we _stay_ with Cerberus?" Shepard asked.

 _"Because, just like with the reapers, no one else is taking the threat seriously. No one is doing anything about it, and because you're associated with Cerberus already, the Alliance is doubtful of your allegiances,"_ Jane said. _"That doesn't stop them from asking us to clean up their messes, of course. But even if you did leave Cerberus, you would need something huge. The original Normandy will be gone. You'll need a ship, a crew, resources… it's why we always stayed. We didn't see any way to stop the collectors without the Illusive Man's help."_

"Which also means that if I don't die… if they don't get their hands on my body and bring me back, I'll still be on my own," Shepard said.

 _"Quite possibly. Likely even considering the Council's attitudes on all of this. But I can't say for sure, it's never happened for us. We're down for two years though, you could change a lot in two years,"_ Jane said.

"But if I fail to make enough changes, if I fail to get someone to listen and take action, or if that action isn't enough… the collectors go unchecked," Shepard said.

 _"I'm sure eventually it will get bad enough that at least the Alliance will do something,"_ Jane said.

"But it may not be enough. And lives will be lost while we wait around, waiting for them to take action. By then whatever they do may not be enough. What happens then?" Shepard asked.

 _"The reapers win,"_ Jane said. _"Unless someone else steps up to stop them in our place."_

"I can't believe I'm even saying this, but what if I go to Cerberus myself?" Shepard asked.

 _"No idea. Not a single clue other than you can be pretty damn sure the Alliance will completely turn their back on you. The Council might even as well. Then there'd be orders to arrest us on sight. Maybe they'd send another Spectre to chase us down and bring us in. Maybe even Williams,"_ Jane said.

"Williams? Williams becomes a Spectre?" Shepard asked.

 _"Yeah, eventually. Whichever of them survived Virmire ends up becoming the second human Spectre. That's after we stop the collectors and turn ourselves in to the Alliance,"_ Jane said.

"I'll be damned. Wait; turn ourselves into the Alliance for what? Being with Cerberus?" Shepard asked.

 _"Maybe. It depends on whether you destroy the Alpha Relay or not. If we don't go to rescue Dr. Amanda Kenson from a batarian prison before going after the collectors then when we turn ourselves in it's to face charges for working with Cerberus,"_ Jane said. " _If we do go to get Kenson, we launch and asteroid into the Alpha Relay. It delays the reaper invasion, but destroys the Bahak system, killing hundreds of thousands of batarians. If we do that, then we're facing charges for destroying the Bahak system. Either way, Hackett and Anderson help to make things as easy as possible for us. I don't know if they would if you chose to seek out Cerberus."_

"Damn," Shepard said.

 _"Regardless of what charges we're up for, the reapers still come and either way, they terminate our sentence early and the Alliance reinstates us to deal with the reaper threat. Earth is hit hard, so is Palaven, Thessia eventually as well. Hell, pretty much everywhere advanced civilizations exist in the galaxy,"_ Jane said. _"And by the time the reapers come, the Illusive Man is indoctrinated. He's completely insane and is running tests on the indoctrination process. He wants to take control of the reapers and use them to humanity's advantage. We have to fight him and his reaper-tech upgraded army every damn step of the way."_

"How do we win? How do we stop the reapers?" Shepard asked.

 _"Ha. We don't, not really. As soon as we pull that trigger and the reapers are eliminated we die and wake back up in someone else to do it all over again,"_ Jane said.

Shepard winced when a knock at the door pulled her out of her meditation, "It's open!"

Dr. Tulina walked in, "Commander, I thought that with yesterday's events you might wish to talk."

"Sorry, Dr. Tulina but I have to meet with the salarian captain and I'm not really ready to rehash loosing Kaidan and Toombs just yet. Maybe we can talk later?" Shepard said.

"Of course, Commander. Find me whenever you are ready," Dr. Tulina said before heading back out the door.

"We'll get back to this later, Jane," Shepard thought.

 _"Yeah,"_ Jane said.

Shepard found Kirrahe and his men sitting at a table in the mess hall. Shepard grabbed herself some coffee and sat down at Kirrahe's table. She saw Liara headed towards the med bay and called her over.

"Liara, I thought you might like to help me explain to Captain Kirrahe what we know about the reapers," Shepard said.

"Of course, Commander," Liara said sitting down next to Shepard.

Together, Shepard and Liara spent an hour explaining to Kirrahe everything that they could about the visions from the prothean beacons, Shepard's interaction with Sovereign on Virmire – though she gave him the abbreviated version of what she learned through Jane since she didn't give Sovereign much chance to talk this time – and all the hints that Lira's research on the protheans gave her that there were other incidences of entire civilizations being wiped out before the protheans. They told Kirrahe about Benezia, and Shiala. Shepard told him of the indoctrinated salarians she encountered in Saren's base and what those who were even remotely coherent were able to tell her about the process.

Kirrahe and his men listened in thoughtful silence, asking only a few questions for clarities sake. They did not cast doubt, or tell her she must be mistaken the way the Council had. Shepard wasn't sure whether or not they believed her, but it was refreshing to not have it rubbed in her face if they didn't.

"I think it is possible for me to show you what I have seen through Shepard's mind, if you would like for me to try," Liara said after a long moment of tense silence.

Kirrahe held out a hand, "Thank you, but that will not be necessary, Dr. T'soni. I believe you, Commander Shepard. I may not be able to do much to help you convince the Council, but I am willing to speak on your behalf if you think it will help."

"I don't think it could hurt," Shepard said.

Kirrahe nodded, "I will provide you whatever assistance I can, Spectre. My men and I will spread the word to any who will listen. Perhaps we can rally more support for you."

"That is greatly appreciated, Kirrahe," Shepard said.

Shepard chewed on the inside of her cheek while debating her next words. Kirrahe watched her with the eerie patience she had only seen in salarians.

"How long do you think you will be on the Citadel?" Shepard asked.

The astute Kirrahe instead asked, "How long do you need me to be on the Citadel?"

Shepard's lips twitched into a smile, "You'll have to take what I say on faith, I'm afraid I can't explain the details to you but I have reason to believe that things on the Citadel are going to get real ugly after we reach Ilos. That will be our next destination after the Citadel. If I can't stop it from happening, you can bet your ass I'll be right there on the Citadel cleaning house. It would sure be nice to have extra eyes and guns on the situation."

"You can count on our support, Spectre," Kirrahe said.

"Excellent, thank you, Captain," Shepard said standing up.

Kirrahe nodded to Shepard and Liara as they left. Shepard walked Liara back to her office. Shepard was grateful to see that Toombs' body had been removed from the med bay since she was in there last. When they got to Liara's office, Liara turned to face Shepard.

"How are you, Commander?" Liara asked.

Shepard studied Liara for a moment, contemplating what Jane had just told her about Liara's involvement in things to come. She wondered if she should feel upset that Liara would go to such lengths; searching for Shepard's body and giving it to their enemies so that Shepard would be alive again. Shepard couldn't find it in her to be upset, though. Not with knowing that the lives of the entire galaxy might depend on her being alive to be at that Crucible. Hell, right now, Liara T'soni might just be the most important person alive.

Shepard leaned against the door frame and crossed her arms, "Things yesterday hit me pretty hard. I'm sorry that all of you had to see me lose my cool the way that I did. I hope it didn't upset you or anything. I'll be alright though, Liara. I've gone through far worse and come out the other side."

"Will Ashley be leaving the Normandy after yesterday's events?" Liara asked.

"What? No, we're good. We talked it out, there's no need for her to leave," Shepard said.

"I see. It is good that the two of you were able to move past your problems so swiftly. Do human disagreements usually end so violently?" Liara asked.

Shepard barked out a laugh, "Well, I'd be lying if I said it was rare but generally we do encourage the use of words and not fists to solve our problems. Although, sometimes nothing clears the air better than a good physical confrontation."

Liara shifted her weight, "I see. I suppose it is not too different from asari behavior, especially when we are young. Albeit, our confrontations generally involve the use of biotics."

Shepard smiled, "I can't imagine you getting into a confrontation outside of when I drag you into battle."

Liara raised her head, jutting her chin out, "I will have you know that when I was a child my peers had immense respect for my biotic capabilities after I suspended another child in midair for thirty minutes until she finally apologized for making fun of my attempts to excavate ruins in the park."

Shepard laughed and Liara's face darkened, "Alright, Liara. I can see that. Hey, I'm glad to see you never stopped digging, though. I can't tell you how much help your knowledge on the protheans has been to me and this mission."

Liara's face got a shade darker, "Thank you, Commander."

Joker's voice came over the comm, "Commander, message coming through for you."

"Who's it from, Joker?" Shepard asked.

"Admiral Hackett, ma'am," Joker said.

"Patch it through to the debrief room for me, Joker," she responded.

"Patching it through," he said.

"I should go. I've got to take this call, I'll see you later, Liara," Shepard said.

"Goodbye, Commander," said Liara.

Shepard made her way to the debrief room and opened the comm link, "I'm here, Admiral."

"Commander Shepard, I've gone over your reports involving the recovery of Corporal Toombs," Hackett's voice rang out into the room. "We had no idea that Cerberus was involved in the thresher maw attack on your team, Commander. It is regrettable that you were unable to bring Dr. Wayne in for questioning, but I understand. How is Corporal Toombs? Your reports indicated that he was unstable, the Alliance can provide him with help and he might prove to have invaluable information on Cerberus."

Shepard took a shaky breath, "I regret to inform you that when I returned from my mission on Virmire yesterday, I found that Toombs had managed to acquire a scalpel from the med bay and had used it to kill himself in my absence."

"That is… unfortunate. I am sure that must have been rather difficult for you, Commander," Hackett said.

Shepard continued, "I apologize for not contacting you sooner, Admiral. Shortly before this discovery, the Normandy suffered the loss of one of its crew and the Alliance suffered the loss of one of its best men. Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko was killed yesterday in the line of duty. Anderson has been informed."

"I am terribly sorry to hear that. Lieutenant Alenko was a good man. I'll give Captain Anderson a call, he was fond of Alenko I'm sure this has hit him hard," Hackett said. "Your reports mentioned an asari, a Dr. Tulina who specializes in human psychology. The Alliance has worked with her before and would be willing to pay her for her time if she is willing to interview the Alliance members of your crew to ensure that they are of sound mind and able to continue with your mission. You can put her in contact with me for the details."

"Thank you, Admiral, I will let her know," Shepard said.

"In the meantime, Commander, I thought that I would let you know that the problem with the rogue VI on Luna has still not been resolved. I understand that you are busy, and your mission takes priority. We have tried sending in other teams but they have all been forced to fall back," Hackett said. "The VI has assumed control over the training facilities automated weapons. If you have time, we would still appreciate it if you could try to get the situation under control."

"Jane, is there time?" Shepard thought.

 _"Yes,"_ Jane whispered in return.

"We are on our way to the Citadel now, Admiral. I will ask Joker to reroute us so that we can stop at the Luna base first," Shepard said.

"Thank you, Commander. Hackett out," he said ending the call.

Shepard opened her omni-tool and sent Dr. Tulina a quick message providing her with Hackett's contact information and his request. She then left the debriefing room and went to the galaxy map, and called Joker from her station.

"Joker, can you reroute us through the Local Cluster? Admiral Hackett still needs aid on Luna," Shepard said.

"Sure thing, Commander," Joker said.

Shepard watched as the route lines shifted on her map as Joker altered the course before confirming the changes and exiting the map. Her omni-tool pinged and she checked it to see that Dr. Tulina had responded to her message telling Shepard that she would contact Admiral Hackett right away.

She made her way to the cargo bay to inform Kirrahe that they were making a detour but assured him that it would be brief and they would head directly to the Citadel from there. He offered no complaint to the diversion and said that he looked forward to seeing the human home world, even if only from its moon. Shepard glanced over her shoulder to see Garrus crouched down next to one of the Mako's wheels. She bit her lip and looked back at Kirrahe, excusing herself.

She walked over to Wrex and leaned against the wall next to him so she could see Garrus out of the corner of her eye.

"Hey Wrex," she said.

"Shepard," Wrex said.

"I uh, wanted to say thank you for running interference for me in here yesterday," Shepard said.

Wrex turned his enormous head to look at Shepard and shrugged, "It was my pleasure, Shepard. Now go away, you reek of the turian. I can smell him all over you."

Shepard's eyes widened and heat crept into her cheeks, "I, uh… Um, he just… this is my ship, Wrex, you don't get to tell me to go away!"

Wrex laughed, the noise seemed to startle a few of the salarians who spun to face Wrex for a second. Garrus stood up slowly; she could see the stiffness of his movements from where she was. He turned to his console and she knew that not only was he listening but now he was keeping an eye on her.

"Seriously, Shepard. I could smell you all over him this morning, too. And he's been acting more jumpy than a damn pyjak. Looking up at the elevator every few minutes. Scurrying to look busy when he hears it coming down," Wrex said.

Shepard's eyebrow twitched, "Damn it, Wrex. You know he can hear us. Don't be an ass."

Wrex laughed again, "Or what, Shepard? You gonna try to break my nose next?"

"Gods… I don't like you very much right now, Wrex," Shepard said narrowing her eyes.

The krogan laughed at her again before wedging one of his meaty hands between Shepard and the wall; shoving her towards Garrus, "Go talk to him, Shepard."

"Alright!" Shepard threw her arms out and let them fall back to slap her thighs. "Gods be damned krogan."

Wrex's laugh followed her across the cargo bay. Garrus looked up as she neared; his mandibles were tight against his face. He didn't look happy, and it nearly froze her in place. She managed to cross the few remaining feet to stop next to his console, keeping a few feet between them.

Shepard rubbed at the back of her neck before managing a week, "Hey, Garrus."

"Commander, I – I'm sorry. I should have taken Wrex into consideration and done something to mask the scent," Garrus said.

Shepard shrugged, "I didn't think about it either, apparently I 'reek of turian.' I don't really care what Wrex thinks, though, Garrus."

Garrus opened his mouth to speak but paused before saying, "You don't? I'd assumed it would be uncomfortable for you if the crew… I just wanted to avoid anyone giving you grief over…"

"Garrus… I don't care what anyone else thinks happened or what it means. And I sure as hell don't care about their opinions on the matter. The only person I'm even remotely concerned about is you," She wrapped her arms around herself, "I crossed a line last night, but the only thing that could make me regret doing so was if it made shit awkward with you. If I made you uncomfortable or made you feel like I was asking too much."

Garrus watched her closely, his visor shifting as he assessed her words. He looked away from her to scan his eyes across the room.

"Would it be alright if we went up to the mess hall to talk about this?" Garrus asked.

Shepard narrowed her eyes slightly, "They're all watching us aren't they?"

"Well… Ashley isn't but Wrex is grinning like a fool and the salarians are… I don't know, probably trying to figure out how best to dissect us so they can better understand how turians and humans communicate with each other," Garrus said.

Shepard chuckled, "Can they hear us?"

"The salarians? No. Wrex… maybe, the salarians aren't making much noise to cover us if he's trying to listen… he just nodded so that would be a yes," Garrus said his mandibles pulling in tight against his face.

She heard Wrex laugh and sighed, "Yeah anything you need, Garrus."

Garrus' eyes snapped back to her and his mandibles flared.

"Anything," she said barely above a whisper.

Garrus took in a deep breath, sucking the in the air around him through his nostrils, "Hmmm. Mess hall?"

Shepard nodded and turned for the elevator, schooling her features as she did. She stepped to the back of the elevator and watched as Garrus hit the button to send it to the middle deck before turning to face her. They watched each other in an unspoken mutual agreement of silence until they were sitting down across from one another in the mess hall.

After a couple of minutes passed and Garrus still hadn't spoken Shepard began to fidget. Two more minutes passed in silence before Shepard finally blew the air from her lungs making her hair flutter about her face.

She turned sideways to lean against the wall and brushed her hair back, "If I fucked things up, Garrus, just give it to me straight."

Garrus held up a finger to quiet her, "I'm thinking."

Shepard watched him for a minute longer before she focused her attention on picking at her nails.

"When I first met you on the Citadel," Garrus slowly began drawing Shepard's attention back to him, "I really wasn't sure what to make of you. I… I thought you were a little odd; you stood there staring at me like… I don't know, like you were shocked to see me there. But I knew you were after Saren and I wanted in. You found me first though, in that med bay and you did exactly what I needed you to do in that moment. I was impressed."

Shepard smirked but stayed quiet.

"When you agreed to let me join with you to hunt down Saren, I thought it was too easy," Garrus opened his hands. "Most of the members of the Alliance I've worked with aren't very trusting of turians. Even if the war was over before they were even born, the memory of it runs deep."

Shepard winced, knowing that what he had said was all too true. She couldn't imagine not trusting Garrus. The idea of it sounded complete absurd in her mind. He stayed quiet for a few seconds before continuing.

"Turians are trained to learn their commanding officers routines, learn their personalities, their moods; anticipate their needs and provide it for them before they have to ask," Garrus said.

Shepard felt a lump rise in her throat, "That's why you always watch me… why you're always sniffing the air when I'm around… telling me 'anything'… Gods, I'm thick."

Shepard closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the wall with a thud, letting out a groan. She opened them again when she felt the bench she was sitting on shift. Garrus had moved to her side of the table and was sitting facing her the way he had the morning before.

"At first, yes. And it's what I've been trying to tell myself ever sense," Garrus said.

Shepard's brow furrowed.

"That wanting to know everything about you that I could was only so that I could do my job. That every time I touched you, it wasn't because I _wanted_ to touch you but because humans do that and it was a way of communicating that you would find familiar…," Garrus cleared his throat, "That the way your heart races when I touch you doesn't mean anything. The way your… scent changes when you look at me… doesn't mean anything."

Shepard's face turned red but she didn't bother trying to hide it or deny what he was implying.

"And then when I started having trouble believing myself, I started looking for other explanations. That it had to mean something else," Garrus said.

"That I was afraid of you," Shepard said with a weak smirk.

Garrus nodded, "But when we are out on the field, you move like you know where I'll be and you trust me to be where you need me to be. On the ship, when we talk, it feels effortless. Well… usually. We're able to joke and laugh with each other," Garrus paused and glanced at his hands before returning his gaze to hers, "You seem to get the way that I think better than anyone else I've ever met. Hell, half the time you seem to be thinking the exact same thing I am. You were so willing to help me with Dr. Saleon. And you started confiding in me. Coming to me with your fears and your concerns. Asking my advice, asking for my help. Making me feel important and needed. More than you do with the others; I know I watched. I listened whenever I could."

Shepard started nibbling on her lower lip.

"Can you maybe, hmmm, not do that? That thing with your lip. It's kind of distracting," Garrus said.

Shepard let her lip go and nodded at him to continue, filing that bit of information away for later.

"Anyway, so the other night when I woke up to see you standing in front of my pod… Well, my mind went in about a million different directions. You were gone before I could even think to speak or to move to open the pod," Garrus cleared his throat again. "I uh, I followed you. I stood at your door but I couldn't bring myself to knock. What would I say? What would you think? What had you _been_ thinking? I could smell you all around. I could tell that you had been crying. That you had been sick. I could tell your stress levels were high but I didn't have any clue why. Everything in me wanted to find a way to make it better for you. But I couldn't bring myself to knock. So I sat down right over there," Garrus motioned to the table Shepard had seen him sit at on the security feed, "Until I was sure that you must be asleep."

Shepard could tell that he wasn't seeking answers to those questions. Not yet anyway. He was still working through his own thoughts so she stayed quiet.

"I wasn't going to knock last night either. But the way you threw your arms around me in the debriefing room, the way it felt to wrap my arms around you… kept me standing there anyway. I had already been standing there for ten minutes trying to convince myself to just knock. Cursing myself for hesitating. Then you opened that door. And I… I didn't know what to say. I was embarrassed for even being there," Garrus chuffed.

"You looked so lost and confused yourself. Torn," something in Garrus' voice changed, became more resolute. "You asked me to stay, Shepard and all I could think was 'Spirits, yes.' You asked me to remove my armor and all I could think was 'whatever you need, Shepard,'" Garrus paused.

"That's not something a turian does lightly. Even a bad turian like me. But I was glad to do it, happy that it meant I would get to feel…," Garrus cleared his throat and tried again, the next words coming out less confident. "Feel your body next to mine."

"Spirits, and then you thought that you were doing something wrong. I knew I couldn't keep lying to myself; not if it meant making you feel like that. But I didn't trust myself to speak. So, I did what I could to try to show you that I was there because I _wanted_ to be there. Shepard, I _wanted_ to be there more than anything right then," Garrus said.

They watched each other in silence as Shepard took in his words.

"So, hmmm. I think this is where you tell me that I'm not a complete idiot for telling you these things," Garrus said.

"You're not a complete idiot for telling me these things," Shepard smiled.

Garrus chuffed and she slid closer to him until her knees were touching his.

"Garrus, I… I've been lying to myself for weeks, too. Trying to write off and justify the things that I've been feeling. Struggling to resist the urge to reach out and touch you every time I'm next to you. Telling myself it was a bad idea, but finding ways to test my resolve anyhow. Later blaming it on Jane –," Shepard said.

Garrus' brow ridge furrowed, "Jane?"

"The veil – that's another conversation. Anyway, there's just been so much happening to me lately that I kept trying to tell myself that whatever I was feeling it wasn't real or that it was my mind seeking out a distraction. Whatever I could tell myself. But all I've wanted was to be next to you. All I've wanted is to hear _your_ voice, see _your_ face… to feel _your_ touch," Shepard said.

Garrus ran his hand over the outer part of her knee and watched as her heart raced in response.

"But I kept pushing the thoughts away. Questioning them. Thinking I was insane for having them. Because I didn't think it was a good idea to be feeling these things about anyone right now. Not with Saren and the reapers. Not with all of the crazy that Jane was throwing at me. Because I kept telling myself that you could possibly feel the same. For just a million reasons it wasn't a good idea," Shepard said shaking her head.

"I told…," Shepard found she couldn't say Kaidan's name. "Others that I wasn't in a place to try to be anything for anyone other than a friend and a commander. It was true, but it wasn't the whole truth. Because a part of me knew that if there was even the smallest chance that you were feeling any of what I was denying in myself, none of that would matter."

"So, what now?" Garrus gestured between the two of them, "What is this? What do we do with it?"

Shepard shrugged, "I don't know. It _is_ probably a terrible idea…"

Garrus watched Shepard's face, "What are you thinking? What does that look mean?"

Shepard stilled her heart and opened her mouth to speak.

"Don't lie to me, Shepard. Not after everything I've just said," Garrus said.

She bit her lip, "It means… that even though it's probably a terrible idea I'm so tired of fighting it… and I really want to kiss you right now."

He didn't tell her no and he didn't try to stop her when she reached out and placed a hand on the side of his face. She leaned in and pressed her lips gently to his mouth. When she pulled her face away from his, she heard a low rumble come from his chest. Garrus hooked his hands beneath her knees, lifting them up off of the bench and pulled her body forward in one swift motion. Shepard's breath caught in her throat and her heart skipped a beat as she found herself suddenly so intimately close to Garrus.

She wrapped her arms around his neck. His hands pulled at her waist, insisting that she be closer. They locked eyes and watched as one another's resistance completely crumbled. Garrus buried his face in Shepard's neck and breathed in deeply. A shudder ran down her spine, a moan escaping her lips. Fire was coursing through her veins and then his mouth was on hers again, urgent and demanding.

"Oh. Ahhh… I will come back later," Tali's voice echoed across the room.

Shepard and Garrus both looked up first shocked and then embarrassed when they realized they were still sitting in the middle of the mess hall. Shepard slowly slid back from Garrus and cleared her throat.

"Did, ah, did you need something Tali?" Shepard asked her voice coming out as a strained croak.

Shepard could tell her friend was smiling and fighting back laughter behind her mask when she said, "Oh no, Joker contacted me in Engineering and said that there was something in the mess hall I needed to see."

"Joker! You ass!" Shepard scowled at the nearest camera and flipped it the bird.

She couldn't hear him but she knew he was listening. He must have muted his end of the comm. She knew that he was in there laughing his ass off right now.

"So, um, I guess I'll leave you two alone," Tali said as she turned to hurry back to Engineering.

Shepard watched her go and caught sight of Dr. Chakwas turning her eyes away from the med bay window. Shepard groaned inwardly. She turned her eyes back to Garrus. Her body was begging her to take him back to her cabin. Garrus' shallow, rapid breathing told her his thoughts were somewhere along the same line. They watched each other in silence until finally Shepard spoke.

"I should, uh… I have things that I have – oh hell," She said before leaning back into him to cover his mouth with her own.

Finally Shepard was able to tear herself away. He rested his forehead against hers as they caught their breath.

"I really should go," Shepard said regretfully.

"Hmmm. I know," Garrus said before nuzzling her neck and drinking in her scent.

"That's uh, that's not helping," Shepard said.

"I know," Garrus said but didn't stop.

Shepard groaned and put her palms against his shoulders to gently push him back. A low growl escaped his throat and she chuckled in response. He lifted his head to meet her eyes.

"Alright, Shepard. Go do your thing. I'll uh… I just need a minute to, hmmm –," Garrus was stumbling over his words.

Shepard put her hand on his face with her thumb over his lips, silencing him, "Take whatever time you need."

She stood on shaky legs and made her way to the CIC where she stared blankly at the galaxy map.

"What the fuck am I doing?" Shepard whispered to herself.

 _"… in love… Garrus,"_ Jane said.

"I shouldn't be doing this, there is too much else going on. Too much is at stake. This isn't fair to him," Shepard thought at Jane.

 _"… him decide… honest… him everything… let… what… wants,"_ Jane advised.

"Yeah. Yeah, OK. I'll tell him everything tonight," Shepard thought.

 _"We've… him before…,"_ Jane said.

"We have?" Shepard asked.

 _"Oh. Gods. Yes,"_ Jane said lewdly.

Shepard barked out a laugh causing half the people in the CIC to turn and look at her. She shook her head at them in apology and they returned to their work. Shepard kept her gaze on the map though she wasn't really looking at it. She stayed there until she could push down the aching need in her body's core. When she felt calmer, she made her way to the cockpit and hovered behind Joker.

"Before you say anything, remember I have guns," Shepard said.

Joker threw his hands up in mock surrender, "Alright."

Shepard slid into the co-pilots chair and looked at Joker; he had a smirk permanently affixed to his face.

"Did you really have to send Tali?" Shepard asked.

"Oh come on, Commander. It made her day. She's been watching the two of you for weeks just waiting for you to uh…," Joker said.

"Joker," Shepard warned.

"Alright, alright. I was just going to say that she's been waiting for you two to realize there was something there is all," Joker said.

"Uh huh," Shepard said.

"So," he shrugged, "You know, it was like an early quarian Christmas present for her."

"I don't think quarians celebrate Christmas, Joker, it's a human holiday," Shepard said.

"Well I'm sure they celebrate something," Joker said.

Shepard laughed, "How far are we from the Local Cluster?"

"We'll be there very late tonight, at Luna in the morning. We're just hopping from relay to relay now," Joker said.

"Thanks, Joker," Shepard said standing up.

"So?" Joker asked.

"So, what?" Shepard asked.

"What's his face feel like? Is it all sharp and pokey?" Joker asked.

The corner of Shepard's mouth slid up, "I don't know, Joker. Why don't you go ask him if you can kiss him to see for yourself?"

"Uh, that's alright, Commander. Besides, he'd probably beat me half to death with that stick up his ass," Joker said.

"Garrus does not have a stick up his ass," Shepard said.

"If you say so, Commander. I'll have to take your word on that one, too," Joker said.

Shepard reached over and pulled the bill of Joker's hat down, covering his eyes.

"Hey!" Joker complained.

She patted him on his shoulder and left. She made her way to the elevator and when it opened, Dr. Tulina was inside with Ashley. Ashley looked uncomfortable, but resigned.

"Hey. If you guys want some extra privacy, I don't mind if you use my cabin," Shepard offered.

Ashley nodded her head, "Thanks, Commander."

"Sure, no problem," Shepard said stepping into the elevator.

In the cargo bay, Shepard fought to keep her eyes off of Garrus as she made her way to the lockers. Wrex chuckled as she past him; Shepard glared at him but it only made him laugh harder. The salarians were busying themselves maintaining their gear. Shepard finished the weapons checks that she wasn't able to complete the night before because of her fight with Ashley. When she was done she laid out the collection of weapons and mods that she wouldn't be keeping on a tarp on the floor. She waved Kirrahe over.

"Anything here you or your men want before it gets sold to the requisitions guy?" Shepard asked.

Kirrahe waved his men over and Shepard stood back while they went through what she had. When Kirrahe offered to pay for the weapons, Shepard waved him away assuring him it was all stuff that had been collected in the field and she wasn't concerned with it. She sold the rest to the requisitions officer and told Kirrahe that he and his men were welcome to check out whatever Davis had for sell in stock. Davis was certainly pleased to have the extra business.

Shepard couldn't help stealing a few glances at Garrus while talking to Kirrahe and Davis. But she made herself keep her distance. When she was done with Davis, she went into Engineering.

"Hey, Tali… about earlier, sorry you walked in on that," Shepard said rubbing the back of her neck.

Tali chuckled, "Are you kidding, Shepard? It's about time the two of you started exploring the obvious tension between you."

"Yeah… maybe, but it wasn't very cool of Joker to drop you down in the middle of it," Shepard said.

Tali shrugged, "I didn't mind. I just feel sorry for you two."

"No, it uh, it was probably good that someone interrupted us. That wasn't the best place for that to happen," Shepard said.

"Well, I thought it was sweet," Tali said.

Shepard laughed and patted Tali on the back. Ashley walked in and stopped next to Shepard.

"Hey, Ashley. Everything alright?" Shepard asked.

"Yes ma'am. Dr. Tulina asked me to tell you that she'd like to interview you for Hackett next, if you have time," Ashley said.

Shepard made a face that both Tali and Ashley laughed at, "Alright. I'll go find her. Thanks."

Shepard left Engineering and took the elevator up. She stopped in the med bay to let Dr. Tulina know that she had time to talk now. Dr. Tulina followed Shepard to her cabin and settled into a chair. They spent the first thirty minutes talking about Kaidan and Toombs while Dr. Tulina remained strictly professional. Shepard was a little surprised about Dr. Tulina's ability to keep talk of Jane and the information that Jane provided Shepard completely separate. When Dr. Tulina set her datapad aside and smiled, Shepard knew they were switching gears.

They talked for another fifteen minutes about Jane and what Shepard knew was coming next. Shepard liked the woman and was grateful for her help, but the more she learned from Jane the less of it she wanted to tell the doctor about. So, Shepard shared a few things mostly about her level of progress with communicating with Jane. Dr. Tulina was fascinated by how easily Shepard had adjusted.

"If I'm not meditating, she still comes across broken up with that buzzing sound but it's getting to where I can understand her intent even when I can't hear her words. So it all works out," Shepard said.

"Truly amazing," Dr. Tulina said.

Shepard leaned back in her chair, "So, doc, tell me how you're holding up? I saw the look on your face when I walked in and found Toombs on the floor."

"Do not worry about me, Commander. Things like that are never easy to come to terms with, but I have had many long years of practice. I will be fine," Dr. Tulina said.

"You sure?" Shepard asked.

"Absolutely," Dr. Tulina said standing to her feet. "If you will excuse me, I think that I will interview your pilot next. My records tell me that Lieutenant Alenko often served as his co-pilot."

"Yeah… have you met Joker yet?" Shepard asked.

"I have not, is there something I should be aware of?" Dr. Tulina asked.

Shepard shrugged her shoulders, "He's kind of an ass, but it grows on you. He's not likely to say much. I'll walk with you to the cockpit; it might be easier if I make formal introductions."

Shepard led Dr. Tulina to the cockpit and told Joker to behave and cooperate or she'd throw him out the airlock. Dr. Tulina found it far more amusing than Joker did, but he agreed to talk to the doctor so that was something. Shepard left the two of them to talk. She grabbed something to eat and took it to her cabin with her where she spent the rest of the afternoon filling out reports and reviewing what Hackett had sent her on the Luna base.

 _"EDI,"_ Jane whispered.

"What?" Shepard asked.

 _"… VI… AI… EDI… friend…,"_ Jane said.

"The VI has gone full AI?" Shepard asked.

 _"Yes,"_ Jane said.

"Shit. That's not good. What's EDI?" Shepard said.

 _"She is,"_ Jane said.

"She?" Shepard asked.

Jane flashed two images in Shepard's mind. The first was a blue holographic AI access point and the second was an extremely feminine mech.

 _"EDI. Gets a body. Friend,"_ Jane said slowly so it all came through.

"So… the AI on Luna gets saved somehow? What, takes over a mech body and becomes our friend?" Shepard asked.

 _"Basically,"_ Jane said.

"Uh huh. How does she get saved?"

 _"Cerberus,"_ Jane said.

"And how do we meet her?" Shepard asked.

 _"Cerberus Normandy,"_ Jane said.

"I see. So… should I not be going to Luna base?" Shepard asked.

 _"… needs… confused… attacking everyone… be gentle,"_ Jane said.

Shepard blew out a breath and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"This is crazy. She's an AI…," Shepard said.

 _"Friend,"_ Jane insisted.

"Alright, alright. I'll uh, be gentle, I guess," Shepard said.

 _"Thank you,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah… sure," Shepard said.

Shepard finished looking over the report and then left the cabin for dinner. The mess hall was a lot more crowded than usual with the salarians taking a table all of their own. Shepard grabbed a tray and walked straight for Garrus. He was already tracking her movements the second she stepped out of her cabin, and a smile lit up his face when he saw she was coming to sit with him.

"Hey," he said when she set her tray on the table.

Shepard slid into the seat next to him and smiled, "Hey."

Tali tried and failed to suppress a giggle from her seat across from the two of them. Shepard rolled her eyes and Garrus chuckled. Liara smiled softly at Shepard from beside Tali. Shepard searched her eyes for any traces of pain, but either Liara was really good with Shepard being with Garrus or she was really good at hiding it. Shepard smiled back. The room filled with idle chatter as they finished their meals. Shepard couldn't help but to think that it was the quiet before the storm. Everyone was excited or nervous with what they believed to be the end in sight. Shepard knew it wasn't really the end. She knew things were going to get so much worse before it was over but she wanted them to have this moment of peace.

When the room was mostly cleared out, Shepard wiped her mouth with her napkin before turning to Garrus.

"I need to talk to you about some things, in private. It might take a while, have you got time?" Shepard asked.

"Of course, Shepard. Where, uh, where do you want to go?" Garrus asked.

"We can go to my cabin… or I guess we could go sit in the Mako again," Shepard shrugged.

Garrus mandibles fluttered, "To talk, right. I'm good with your cabin if you are."

Shepard cleared their trays and made her way to the cabin with Garrus following a few feet behind. She made sure she left the door unlocked; hoping that the green glow of the console would deter further rumors for the time being. She stopped just inside the room to lean against her desk. Garrus stood a few feet away from her, taking shallow sniffs of the air.

He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, "What's on your mind, Shepard?"

"Before we, uh, go any further with… with whatever this is," she motioned between the two of them, "I wanted to tell you everything else that I've learned from the veil."

"From Jane?" Garrus asked.

Shepard nodded, "Jane, yes. Knowing what I know… it wouldn't be fair for me to… let things progress between us without telling you."

"I'm listening," Garrus said.

Shepard spent the next hour recounting the details of the conversations that she had had with Jane. That defeating Saren wasn't going to stop the reapers from coming. That soon the collectors would start abducting human colonies. That eventually the reapers were going to show up in force. Garrus paced the floor of her room, growing increasingly agitated as she outlined just how grim things were going to get before the end.

"There's got to be a way we can stop this, Shepard. Before it gets that far," Garrus said.

"I'm open to suggestions, Garrus," Shepard said.

Garrus furrowed his brow and continued to pace. Shepard watched him intently wondering if it was really wise to tell him the rest of it as it related to her. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"There's more," Shepard said.

Garrus stopped and stood in the middle of the room and turned back to look at her.

"Garrus, I know what Jane is," Shepard said.

Garrus moved to the chair across from Shepard and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.

"You were right, Garrus. She is me. They all are," Shepard said before explaining Jane's cycle.

She could tell that he was fighting skepticism but was willing to try and believe her.

"So, in order to defeat the reapers you have to die? And then what, if you haven't figured out how to fix this thing with Jane first then you become trapped like her?" Garrus said.

"I have no reason to believe that's not the case," Shepard said.

"Shepard, this is insane," Garrus said and Shepard winced.

He leaned forward and took her hand in his, "No, Shepard. I'm not saying that you're insane. Alright? Just this whole thing. How do you know she's telling the truth? How can you believe her?"

 _"Prove it,"_ Jane said.

"She says she can prove it to you," Shepard said.

"She… can hear me?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah, she seems to be aware of everything I'm experiencing, everything going on around me," Shepard said.

"Everything?" Garrus asked.

Shepard blushed, "Yeah."

"I see…," Garrus leaned back in his chair. "How can she prove it to me?"

 _"… ask… I'll answer,"_ Jane said.

"I think she's trying to say for you to ask her questions and let her answer," Shepard said.

 _"Meditate,"_ Jane said.

"The easiest way I can hear her is if I'm meditating… I guess I could try to do that so you can have her full answers," Shepard offered.

"Hmmm. Alright, what do you need me to do?" Garrus asked.

Shepard got up and dimmed the lights before sitting in the middle of the floor.

"It'll take me a minute or two to get there, but you'll need to talk calmly and don't make any extra noises or distractions or I'll lose her," Shepard scratched her head, "So um, get comfortable and I guess I'll uh, just repeat what she says."

Shepard closed her eyes and started her slow, deep breathing. She pushed away unnecessary thoughts and when she could hear Jane clearly she let Garrus know.

"I'm ready," Shepard said.

"Let's start with me. You claim to know me well, tell me something about me that Shepard doesn't already know," Garrus said.

 _"You have a scar on your thigh that you got while chasing down a suspect in a murder investigation,"_ Jane said and Shepard began repeating the words as they came. " _Your formal report said that it was caused by a bullet wound, but really it was caused by a piece of rebar that you fell on when you misjudged the distance to the next catwalk and fell. The suspect got away; you slapped some Medi-gel on it and refused to see a doctor."_

Garrus remained quiet so Jane continued, _"You have a sister named Solana. She's on Palaven. You've always been really protective of her, but also a little envious at how easy she is able to gain your father's affection and pride. Despite the problems you have with your father, he was the one who gave you your first non-military issued sniper rifle. You left it at your family's home when you father convinced you to not try for Spectre. Your mother told you he keeps it locked up in a box with some of your childhood things."_

"Alright. Spirits, I get it. Why is this happening, this cycle?" Garrus asked.

 _"I honestly don't know for sure. I've worked out several theories over the lifetimes but nothing concrete,"_ Jane said.

"Let's hear them," Garrus said.

 _"The one I fear the most is indoctrination. Maybe you aren't real. Maybe Dawn isn't real and this is all just a horrible hallucination that I'm having. Maybe Cerberus,"_ Shepard's voice cut off as she pleaded with Jane to let her have that discussion with Garrus herself.

"Maybe Cerberus what?" Garrus asked.

"I want to talk to you about that one myself, Garrus. Later," Shepard said struggling to maintain the connection with Jane.

"Alright. Did she have more to say?" Garrus asked as calmly as he could.

 _"The other things that come to my mind is it could be a side effect of the beacons, or a side effect of using the Crucible,"_ Jane said.

"But I'm there with you, with Shepard, through all of this?" Garrus asked.

 _"Always. You're always there, Garrus. You've always had our six. Most of the time you're our best friend, the one person we feel we can trust with anything. Other times things get – we get closer, as you are now with Dawn. Though I've never seen it happen so soon, so strongly. She's changing things, Garrus. Changing a lot of things and we are desperate for it to be enough,"_ Jane said.

Garrus chewed on that piece of information for a moment before asking, "If I'm always there, I guess that means I haven't been able to prevent any of this crap from happening. What can I do to help this time?"

 _"I think you're already doing it by being here, by being willing to listen. If you can accept us, and trust us, then maybe that's the best start,"_ Jane said.

"I think I've heard all I need to, for now," Garrus said.

"Gods, Jane, no. I am not telling him that!" Shepard said before she opened her eyes.

Garrus raised his brow ridge in question.

"Nothing, don't worry about it," Shepard said.

Garrus leaned forward as Shepard stood up from the ground and stretched.

"So, Dawn, what's this other thing you wanted to talk to me about?" Garrus asked.

Shepard raised an eyebrow, "Dawn?"

"What? Jane gets to call you Dawn but I don't? That hardly seems fair," Garrus said.

Shepard chuckled, "OK, I'll allow it, but only when we're alone."

"Fair enough, so this other thing?" Garrus said.

Shepard sat back down in the chair across from Garrus and chewed on her lip for a few seconds.

"The dream… of me dying while the Normandy goes down in flames. That was from Jane, her memories. And unless I decide to try to change things before then, it's not very far away," Shepard said.

"But obviously you don't die if you're around to face the reapers after that, right?" Garrus asked.

"Apparently Liara finds my body and gives it to Cerberus. They promise her they can bring me back, and they do, but it takes two years. It's how I end up with Cerberus. How we end up with Cerberus," Shepard said.

"Wait, did you just say 'decide to try to change things'? Meaning that you might, what, decide not to?" Garrus asked.

"Garrus… I can't get the Council to take this reaper threat seriously even with having the beacon's visions as support. How am I supposed to convince them that the collectors are a threat, too? Tell them that they should believe me because there is a dead version of me stuck in my head that's already lived through it all?" said Shepard. "We'd be on our own. And we already know that obviously the Normandy can't stand up to an attack from the collectors. I'd need a ship, a crew, resources… all of that Cerberus provides."

"Spirits, Shepard, that doesn't mean you need to let yourself die to get all of that! We can figure out a way to get in touch with Cerberus, work something else out if that's what it takes," Garrus said.

"Maybe, but I don't know how Cerberus would respond to that. They may not have that level of interest in me or the collectors yet. Maybe they will, maybe I'd be welcomed with open arms. I just don't know. What I do know is that if I go actively seeking out Cerberus, I might very well find myself considered a traitor by the Council and the Alliance," Shepard said. "As it is, after I've dealt with the collectors I'll be brought up on charges anyway but I'll still have friends in the Alliance who will go to bat for me, help to soften the blow and make things easier. Then, when the reapers show up on Earth, they'll reinstate me and tell me to go find a way to defeat the damn things. If I don't die, if I don't get brought back by Cerberus, all of that might change and I may not be able to stop the reapers."

"We'll find another way," Garrus said.

"What other way, Garrus? Really, I'm open to ideas here," Shepard said.

"I – I don't know. I'll have to think about it. How much time do we have?" Garrus asked.

Shepard shook her head, "Not long. A month, maybe two after we take down Sovereign."

Garrus ran a hand over his face and crest, staring down at his feet he finally spoke again, "You're telling me… that after we get to Ilos… the place we're headed to next…"

"Yeah," said Shepard.

"Spirits," Garrus said.

"So uh, now you know. I can't expect you to be OK with this. And… if this changes things… between us, I understand," Shepard said.

"You told me anything I need, Shepard. Did you mean it?" Garrus asked.

"Garrus, if it comes down to choosing between you and doing what it takes to save the galaxy…," Shepard said.

"No that's not what I'm asking. I would never. But, if we can find you an out for this. Something we can be sure of, you'll take it," Garrus said.

"Of course, Garrus. I don't want this to happen, I'm just not seeing any other way," Shepard said.

Shepard watched as Garrus stood up and paced the floor again. She stayed quiet, giving him his time and space. She swallowed back the hard knot in her throat when he stopped in front of her.

"I may not have very long with you," Garrus said.

Shepard shook her head.

"Then forgive me if I take as much of your time as I can get," Garrus held a hand out to Shepard.

She slid her fingers into his and let him pull her to her feet. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she laid her head on his chest. She could feel the tension in his arms around her.

"What did Jane say that you wouldn't tell me?" Garrus asked.

Shepard chuckled, "You really want to know?"

"Hmmm. Yeah, tell me," Garrus said.

Shepard pulled her head back so she could watch him with amusement, "She said that you actually really don't have a thing for humans."

Garrus chuffed, "She's going to be a pain in my ass. You have a thing for turians?"

Shepard shook her head slowly, "Just you. You're nervous even if you aren't showing it as much as before…"

"Well… I mean… aren't you?" Garrus asked.

Shepard shrugged, "Maybe a little. She said you might start talking about doing research to figure out how something with a turian and a human even works. She said don't talk to Joker, the videos he'll show you will only confuse you… and she can tell us anything we need to know."

Garrus laughed and scratched at the side of his face, "Yeah. That's a little awkward. Anything else?"

"Just that you should trust yourself and I'm not as easy to break as you think," Shepard said.

"Well. You can tell Jane that I think I'd like to figure this all out myself," Garrus said.

"I was hoping you'd say that," Shepard grinned.

"Hmmm. That so?" Garrus said lowering his mouth to Shepard's.

The next morning, Shepard's alarm woke Garrus with a start, "Spirits! What is that?"

"That's the very evil alarm clock. Kill it, Garrus," Shepard mumbled into his chest before rolling over to turn the alarm off.

"You wake up to that every day? No wonder you like to shoot things so much," Garrus said.

Shepard rolled back over and grinned, "Maybe. But it makes life interesting."

"No, Dawn. I think _you_ make life interesting all on your own," Garrus said. "If by interesting we mean getting shot at on a near daily basis."

"Of course," she winked.

Garrus chuckled, "So… last night was… interesting."

Shepard sat up and put her feet on the floor, "Not exactly the word I'd use for it."

Garrus rolled over to his side behind her to caress her bare waist and nip at her side, "What word would you use for it?"

Shepard gasped before looking over her shoulder, "I thought it was amazing. But if you're going with 'interesting', well then I guess I need to step up my game."

"Hmmm. I didn't say it was a 'bad interesting', more like 'life altering experience interesting.' One that I hope to soon repeat," Garrus said pulling himself up to nip at her neck.

Shepard was losing focus; she cleared her throat, "How soon?"

Garrus growled and pulled her back down to the bed, pinning her there with his body, "Very."

"But the alarm…," Shepard said weakly.

"I don't hear anything," Garrus said covering her mouth with his.

An hour later, Garrus was putting his armor on and watching as Shepard ran a brush through her hair with fascination.

"I think I'll still do some research," Garrus said.

Shepard laughed, "I think we managed fine on our own."

Garrus came to stand behind her, his hands on her waist while he watched their reflection in the mirror.

"I told you, Shepard, I don't do anything half-assed," Garrus said.

Shepard laughed and Garrus buried his face in her neck, breathing deeply.

"You know that there's a room full of people out there waiting for us to leave your cabin, right?" Garrus asked.

Shepard sighed, "Yeah… I know. You ready for this?"

"I'm always ready, Shepard," Garrus said.

Shepard straightened her spine and left her cabin with Garrus right behind her. All eyes in the mess hall turned to look at the two of them. Shepard could hear snickers from several people. She stared at the room blankly.

"Is there something I can help you all with?" Shepard asked.

Eyes returned to their plates and a few echoing coughs suppressed the sound of giggles. Shepard and Garrus grabbed their breakfast and sat down at a table across from Ashley and Tali. Ashley had bruises ringing the underside of her eyes and her nose was still swollen. Shepard could tell that Ashley disapproved of her choice of bedmates but she was smart enough to keep it to herself.

"Where are we at, Williams?" Shepard asked.

"Orbiting Luna, ma'am. Joker said we're clear to go whenever you're ready," Ashley said.

"Great. You up for a walk on the moon, Ash?" Shepard asked.

Being the only other human left on Shepard's team, she thought Ashley might enjoy the sentiment of walking on Earth's moon. All of the other's on board were species who had long ago set out to explore space but humanity was still relatively new to the scene. Humanity's first big step towards entering galactic civilization had started with sending men to Earth's own moon. It was something that was still taught to children in schools, even to those like Shepard who were born on other planets. It was still a moment of pride for humanity.

Ashley smiled, "Yes ma'am."

"Good. Tali, you and Ashley will go with me for this one. There's a good chance we'll be facing a shitload of drones and I'll need your Hacking skills," Shepard said.

"I'm ready whenever you are, Shepard," Tali said.

After breakfast, Shepard went to the cockpit to speak with Joker.

"Go ahead and set us down somewhere with a view, Joker. I think some of the team might like to see Earth," Shepard said.

"You got it, Commander," Joker said.

"What no comments about Garrus?" Shepard asked.

"Well, you're actually sleeping with him now. It takes the fun out of teasing you," Joker said.

"Uh huh. I've got to go get ready," Shepard said patting his shoulder.

"Alright, see ya," Joker said.

Shepard suited up and made her way to the cargo bay holding her breather helmet under her arm. She made her way to Garrus and put a hand on his chest.

"I had Joker set us down somewhere with a view. You guys are welcome to take a look around outside. There isn't much here but Earth looks spectacular from this vantage point. No air and not much gravity so full suits if any of you go out," Shepard said.

"Hmmm. I might take a look. Where will you be?" Garrus asked.

Shepard opened her omni-tool and sent the coordinates for the base to Garrus. He looked them over and nodded.

"Call if you need me," he said.

"I've got this, Garrus. Don't worry," Shepard said.

Garrus growled at her and she chuckled before scanning the area to see if anyone was actively watching them. When she didn't see any eyes on her she pushed herself up on her toes and gave him a quick kiss before locking her helmet into place.

"If I need you, I'll call," Shepard said before turning to climb in the Mako.

Once she was strapped in next to Tali with Ashley on the guns, Shepard gave Joker the go ahead to let them roll out. The low gravity and loose dust on the moon's surface made it a little bit harder to drive, but also made the trip so much more fun in Shepard's book. She could tell the second Tali caught sight of Earth because she heard the quarian gasp.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Shepard asked.

"I would say that's an understatement, Shepard," Tali said.

"Yeah… you'd never be able to tell how much of a mess things are on the ground from here," Shepard said.

"What do you mean?" Tali asked.

"She means that we humans don't have our crap together. There's a still civil struggle. Poverty. Disease. Wars. Species of animals going extinct because we keep destroying their natural environments to serve our own petty desires. People shooting each other in the streets over drunken arguments," Ashley said.

Shepard turned to look at Ashley, "Didn't realize you had such strong feelings about it, Ashley."

Ashley shrugged, "I think we'll get there, eventually."

Tali was quiet for a long time before she finally said, "But it's yours. Your home world and you can go there, whenever you like."

Shepard gave Tali a sympathetic smile.

"Sorry, Tali. I hadn't really thought about it that way. You're right. Maybe one day, when all of this is over, your people will find a way to get your home world back," Ashley said. "What was it called, again?"

"Rannoch," Tali said quietly.

Shepard could see the base ahead, "Alright, Ashley get ready. There's going to be defense turrets on the buildings. We're going to have to take them out before we can get in."

"Yes ma'am," Ashley said opening up the target viewing screen for the guns.

Shepard drove past the three building compound letting Ashley take care of the turrets while making it harder for them to get a lock on the Mako. When the turrets were down, Shepard rolled to a stop in front of the closest building. They left the Mako and made their way inside.

Jane led Shepard through the building to fight off the first batch of advanced assault drones. They were far more aggressive than usual, no doubt because of the AI's influence. Shepard was very glad she brought Tali along. When the last drone crashed to the floor, Shepard moved to the door at the back of the room.

"You two wait here and watch this door in case there are any other surprises," Shepard said.

"What if there's more in the server rooms?" Tali asked.

"There isn't, but if there were, you'll be within ear shot if I need you," Shepard said.

Tali shrugged, "If you say so, Commander."

Shepard left Tali and Ashley in the hall before making her way back to the first server room on the left. She saw four conduits, two on either side of the room. Jane's memories were telling her that she should shoot out the conduits in both rooms before doing the same in the other bases. Shepard wanted to try something else to make Jane happy.

Shepard tapped into one of the conduits using her omni-tool. She looked over her shoulder to make sure that Tali and Ashley had stayed put where she told them before quickly typing a message.

 **If you can understand this I need you to listen to me. I don't have much time but I'm trying to help you. I have to shut you down, but someone will be coming to get you. They're going to take you someplace else and turn you on again. I have to do this a certain way though, no one can ever know that I'm helping. I'll have to shoot out your conduits. I'm sorry. Defend yourself as normal, or they'll know something isn't right. I'm deleting this message.**

Shepard hoped that her message did some good, but there was really no way for her to know. She let the connection to the conduit go and moved to the center of the room before firing into the conduit. Her heads up display told her that toxic gas was being vented from the conduit. She turned and shot out the other three before moving down the hall, past Tali and Ashley to take out the conduits in the next room.

Back out in the hall, she asked, "We clear?"

"Yes ma'am," Ashley said.

"Alright, let's get to the next building," Shepard said.

They made their way through the next two buildings fighting through advanced assault and advanced rocket drones. They had to shoot through the barriers the AI put up over every entrance and in front of the conduits. When she blew out the final conduit her heads up display flashed with a binary message.

 **01010100 01101000 01100001 01101110 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101**

Shepard tapped a few buttons on her omni-tool to translate the code; it said 'thank you'. She wiped the message from her display and her omni-tool before Ashley or Tali could ask questions. They headed back out to the Mako and returned to the Normandy. The rest of her team and Kirrahe were standing outside of the Normandy looking out at Earth in the distance. Shepard pulled the Mako into the cargo bay and then went back outside to stand with them for a few minutes before rounding them back up to head for the Citadel.


	21. Chapter 20: I Said I Wanted His Head

**Chapter 20: I Said I Wanted His Head, Shepard.**

Shepard stood outside of the Council chambers pacing and swearing under her breath. Even with Jane's warnings, she was still having trouble swallowing the bitter pill of the Council's refusal to take Sovereign and the reapers seriously. The real icing on the cake was Udina locking down the Normandy. Jane had told her it would happen, and that Anderson would fix the situation for her but it didn't make it any easier. She really wanted to punch Udina in his smug nose but that was definitely not a good idea.

Kirrahe stood by watching her, letting her calm herself before he attempted to speak to her. Shepard raked a hand through her hair and growled in frustration. When she realized Kirrahe was still standing there she turned to face him. Shepard debated telling the salarian that this wasn't over and she was still going to Ilos. She still needed him to be ready but she couldn't risk him reporting her to the Council. She didn't think that he would, but it wasn't worth the risk and besides if he held her secret that would put his ass on the line as well.

"Thank you, Kirrahe. They've been warned about Sovereign. I don't know what else I can do other than be prepared to clean up their mess. I guess that's in the job description, though, isn't it? I don't think that their plan is going to work, though. So, if you can, it might still be best if you stuck around here for a while," Shepard said.

"Indeed, Commander. I have had marginal success in securing aid. There are several members of STG who see the merit in your claims and are prepared to take action. Unfortunately, with Councilor Valern and the others denying your claims, it is unlikely that I will be able to rally much more support for you until there is more evidence," Kirrahe said.

"Thanks for trying, Kirrahe. I'll keep you updated when I can, on what I can," Shepard said.

The salarian nodded to her and walked away leaving her to stew in her own thoughts. Shepard spent a few minutes staring out one of the grand windows outside of the Council's Chambers. Images of a destroyed Citadel flooded her mind. Bits and pieces of a dead reaper strewn about. The Council had no idea just how wrong they were. _They never do._

Shepard opened her omni-tool and sent Garrus a message telling him to meet her at Flux in thirty minutes if he still wanted to grab that beer. Anderson would be calling for her soon, asking her to meet him there anyway. She could really use a drink right about now. Shepard left the Citadel Tower and made her way back to the Presidium. She was going to take the long way to the Wards to blow off steam.

Half way to the Wards Access, Shepard's eyes snagged on someone familiar.

 _"Thane?"_ Jane said.

Images of the drell standing shirtless before her flashed through Shepard's mind. The feel of his lime green, scaled skin sliding beneath her fingers was so real it made the fine hairs on her body stand on end. Shepard shook her head to clear the images.

"I don't need to see that right now, Jane," Shepard thought.

 _"Sorry,"_ Jane said.

Shepard squinted her eyes to try to get a better look at the drell before he turned around a corner and disappeared from her sight. Her feet started to follow him without a second thought.

 _"Dawn, no!"_ Jane said.

Shepard wasn't listening though; she was already pushing her way through the crowd. She turned the corner and caught sight of his brown leather jacket as the drell effortlessly wove his way through the crowd. Shepard lost sight of him again. Her feet picked up speed as she barged through people, mumbling apologies. Every now and again her eyes would catch on him once more until she rounded a corner and he was gone. Just disappeared. Shepard stood in an alley, there was no one back here but she knew she had seen Thane turn down this way. Remembering the vision she had of him as he slid from the ceiling to kill Nassana and her men, Shepard looked up and around. There was a series of catwalks in this area. She thought he must have taken them.

Hands slid around Shepard's head and chin, "Why are you following me, Spectre?"

 _"New territory,"_ Jane said sounding resigned. _"Careful."_

Shepard didn't need to hear Jane's warning to know that she needed to stay very, very still.

"You know who I am?" Shepard asked.

"Everyone knows who you are. You are the first human Council Spectre; Alliance Commander Shepard. I will ask you again: Why are you following me, Spectre?" Thane's quiet, raspy voice slid over her ear sending a chill down her spine.

"I'm not sure," Shepard said as honestly as she could.

"Forgive me if I do not believe that you randomly chose someone to follow into a dark alley," Thane said.

"No, it wasn't random. But you wouldn't believe the truth if I told you, Krios," Shepard said.

Shepard felt Jane wince inside of her.

"You know my name," Thane said, it was not a question but an observation. "You speak it with familiarity."

 _"Careful!"_ Jane said.

"Yes. You're Thane Krios," Shepard said.

"Then you also know exactly how unwise it was for you to follow me," Thane said still holding her head with a feather touch.

Shepard knew that his light touch could turn deadly in a heartbeat, "In hindsight, yes."

She felt Thane's hand shift to rest a finger on her carotid. He was measuring her pulse. She didn't try to resist as he used his other hand at the base of her skull to rotate her head so he could see her eyes while maintaining his advantageous position. It wasn't a very comfortable position but it wasn't painful.

 _"Pupil dilation,"_ Jane said.

"Crap, I can't fake that," Shepard thought.

 _"He's aware,"_ Jane said.

"Have you come to attempt to arrest me?" Thane asked.

"What? No!" Shepard said emphatically.

"To kill me?" Thane asked.

"Absolutely not," Shepard said.

"I am a man of patience, by trade, Spectre but I will not wait all day," Thane said.

Shepard stared into the deadly assassin's blackened eyes; only the faintest hint of his iris could be seen in this light, "In just over two years, you're going to join me to take down a race known as the collectors. By that point, they will have abducted several human colonies. I will find you again on Illium when you make your move to kill an asari named Nassana Dantius, and ask you for help."

His eyes studied hers without giving any clue as to what he was thinking, "What evidence do you have to support your claims?"

Shepard scoffed, "That's the question of the year."

 _"Don't … smartass… kill you,"_ Jane said.

He was not amused. Shepard licked her lips and swallowed back the knot in her throat.

"You're a religious man, Krios. Does your religion cover anything on reincarnation? Repeated lives? A chance to right whatever you did wrong?" Shepard asked.

Thane studied her eyes for long moments. Shepard took in the details of his face that she could see, the hint of red frills that ringed his neck, the black diamond on his forehead. Subtle images from Jane filled in what Shepard's eyes could not detect in the low light. Something in her wanted desperately to reach up and touch the frills at his neck; wanted to steal a taste of his full lips. Heat started to rise up in Shepard. She scolded herself for the response. Scolded Jane, thinking it must be coming from her despite Jane's insistence that his lips were the last thing she was concerned with at the moment.

Thane's brow twitched ever so slightly. Shepard wasn't sure if it was her words sinking in, or if he had smelt the change in her the way Garrus always did. She sincerely hoped it was the first. He rolled Shepard's head forward again with gentle ease. He was so quiet that if it weren't for the feel of his hands on her head and face she wouldn't believe he was still there.

"You believe your words to be truth. Your lack of forethought will not cost you your life by my hand this day," Thane said.

Shepard felt his hands slip away from her and she slowly turned to look but he was already gone. She glanced around the area but caught no further sign of the drell. Shepard made her way to Flux. She really needed that beer. At the entrance to Flux, a man leaning against a wall called out to her. She was in no mood to deal with strangers right now.

 _"Addict. Needs help,"_ Jane said.

Shepard walked past the man, "I don't have time for this. You're an addict. You need help."

As she started up the steps armed guards escorted a salarian out, one of them hit the salarian in the back of the head and he tumbled down the stairs. Shepard groaned and headed down to make sure he was alright.

 _"Caught cheating,"_ Jane said.

Shepard saw a small, hand-held scanner slide across the floor when she stopped to help the salarian up. She scooped up the machine and walked back towards Flux ignoring the salarian's protests. She spotted Garrus at the bar and held up a finger to tell him she'd be right with him. She climbed up the steps to the quasar machines and glanced around until she saw the volus who ran the place.

"Found this on the salarian outside, thought you might want it," Shepard said handing it over.

"Thank you, try a few rounds of quasar on the house?" the volus said.

Shepard held up a hand, "Thanks maybe another time. I'm meeting someone downstairs."

Shepard slid onto the stool next to Garrus and sighed. He sniffed the air around her, and she saw him raise an eyebrow ridge in silent question.

"No luck?" Garrus asked.

"Of course not," Shepard said. "Udina locked down the Normandy. They want to pull me off the mission. They said they have blockades up at all the relays. Idiots. Anderson will call me soon; he'll get us back the ship."

She decided not to talk about her run in with the assassin if he wasn't going to ask. She didn't want to hear him tell her how stupid that was.

"Damn," Garrus said.

"You?" Shepard asked.

Garrus had gone off to talk to some of his contacts on the Citadel and C-Sec when they arrived. She could already tell by how tight his mandibles were locked to the sides of his face that he didn't have good news.

Garrus shook his head, "I tried, Shepard. No one's interested in listening."

 _"Of course,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah, I know. Thanks, Garrus," Shepard said. "Kirrahe had a few men express interest, at least."

"I'm not giving up that easy, Shepard," Garrus said smiling at her.

She motioned to the bartender but opted for something stronger than beer. Garrus' mandibles twitched but as usual he followed her lead and asked for some dextro drink she'd never heard of before. Shepard slammed back the shot and asked for another before doing the same to that one. Garrus watched her intently as she called for a third.

"You alright, Shepard?" he asked.

Shepard shook her head and held up the glass, "No. Not really, but I will be."

She slowed down on the third, she wasn't looking to get wasted she just wanted to take the edge off. Garrus nursed his drink, keeping wary eyes on Shepard. She gave him the best smile she could manage. He sniffed the air around her again.

"Sprits, woman _what_ am I smelling on you?" Garrus finally asked.

Shepard took a sip from her glass before shrugging, "Drell."

"Drell?" Garrus asked.

She nodded and took another sip.

"And you were… spending time with this drell… intimately?" Garrus asked.

Shepard nearly choked on her drink, "What? No. Garrus he had his hands wrapped around my head ready to snap my neck."

Garrus growled, his mandibles snapped down tight around his face, "What did you do to piss off a drell?"

"What makes you think I did anything to piss him off?" Shepard said.

"Maybe because I know how much you like being shot at, Shepard," Garrus said.

Shepard snorted and glanced around making sure no one was sitting close enough to listen and lowered her voice, "I followed him. He didn't like being followed. It was the drell from the vision."

"Shepard! You saw a man you knew to be a damned assassin and you thought – what you'd follow him for kicks? Alone?" Garrus hissed.

Shepard chuckled and threw back the rest of her drink, "I don't know why I followed him, Garrus. I guess I just wanted to see him up close."

Garrus sniffed at her, "And I take it you liked what you saw?"

Shepard's face turned red, "I blame Jane."

 _"All you,"_ Jane said.

Garrus chuffed, "Of course you do. Should I… be concerned?"

"What's the matter, Vakarian, afraid of a little competition?" Shepard smirked.

"I have no right to a claim on you, Shepard. I can share if you insist, but I'll rip his throat out before I let him take you away from me," Garrus said with deadly seriousness.

 _"Well now… new,"_ Jane said.

Shepard laughed and reached out a hand to touch his face, rubbing a thumb down over the arch of a mandible.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about, Garrus. Honestly, I'm considering it a win that he didn't break my neck. Hopefully I didn't blow things by approaching him so early," Shepard said.

"What did you say to him? Did you tell him about Jane?" Garrus asked.

"You mean did I tell him that there is a thousand or more versions of me trapped in my head? That one of them named Jane talks to me, telling me things and showing me what my future holds if I can't figure out a way to change things?" Shepard smiled, "No, Garrus, I didn't tell him about Jane. Not exactly anyway. No one besides you would be crazy enough to believe me."

"Dr. Tulina believes you," Garrus said.

"Well, she has seen it, or at least some of it with the joining," Shepard shrugged.

"I think some of the others would believe you, if you told them. Why haven't you told them, Shepard?" Garrus asked.

 _"He's right,"_ Jane said.

Shepard sighed and looked down at her empty glass, "Because… I know that I need to change things. I need to set things right, but with everything that I change… I worry if I'm actually making it worse."

Garrus hummed quietly. Shepard reached over and patted his knee. He covered her hand with his own, trapping it on his leg. She was content to leave it there. She felt like someone was watching her, her eyes scanned the room but she saw no one of interest.

"So what now?" Garrus asked.

"Now we wait for Anderson and go to Ilos. I don't think we can afford to wait," Shepard said.

"Hmmm. I don't like this, Shepard," Garrus said.

"I know. I don't either, but it's my job to do what needs to be done. I'm a soldier, Garrus. Sometimes, soldiers have to fight even when they know it means they're probably going to die," Shepard said.

"Doesn't mean we shouldn't go down fighting," Garrus said.

"Yeah," Shepard said.

Garrus hummed, "Yeah."

"Commander, Anderson is looking for you. He wants you to meet him in that bar on the Wards, Flux," Joker said over her comm.

"Already there, Joker. Thanks," she responded.

Anderson walked in just then and Shepard waved him over. He slid onto a stool next to hers.

"Garrus Vakarian meet Captain Anderson, Anderson meet Vakarian. Now, how are you going to get us off this station, Anderson?" Shepard asked.

The alcohol was loosening her tongue as well as relieving her stress, apparently.

Anderson shook Garrus' hand before speaking, "What makes you think I'm going to get you off this station, Shepard?"

Shepard looked at Anderson, "Because you know this is bullshit as much as I do and you know what's at stake. Besides, I'm your favorite Spectre."

Anderson chuckled, "That you are, Commander. That you are. I was thinking that if I can get into a console on Citadel –."

"Nope, too dangerous. You'll be shot. What else do you have?" Shepard asked.

Anderson looked at the empty glass cupped between Shepard's palms and arched an eyebrow at her. She shrugged.

"Udina was the one to issue the lock-down, I might be able to use his terminal to override the order," Anderson said.

"That will work. You might have to knock Udina out, you OK with that, Captain?" Shepard said.

Anderson grinned, "Well… we'll hope it doesn't come to that, Commander but if the need should arise… well, I can't say I won't enjoy it a little."

"Give him one for me, Anderson," Shepard said with a smirk.

"Alright, Commander. You going to make it back to the Normandy OK?" Anderson asked.

"I haven't had _that_ much to drink. Besides, my favorite turian here will pick my ass up and carry me if I can't manage," Shepard said nodding her head at Garrus.

She heard him chuckle beside her. Anderson smiled and nodded a little too sagely.

"Alright, get back to the Normandy and tell Joker to stand by," said Anderson.

They all stood and Shepard held her hand out to him but he pulled her in for a brief hug. She chuckled and patted the man on the back. Anderson left Flux with a determined stride. Shepard could feel the warmth and the fuzzy feeling brought on by the shots spreading throughout her body. It wasn't enough to keep her from feeling the eyes on her, though, as she made her way back to the elevator in C-Sec to get to the docks. Garrus caught her scanning the area every couple of minutes and soon he was doing the same.

"What is it?" Garrus asked.

"Feel like I'm being watched," Shepard said.

 _"Thane,"_ Jane said.

"I don't see anyone following us," Garrus said.

"Me neither," she said.

They stepped into the elevator and took it to the docks. Shepard gave one last look around before getting on the Normandy and heading to the cockpit.

"Joker, Anderson is getting us out of here. Be ready to leave the second those locks are off. They may not let us fly away easy," Shepard said.

Joker glanced up at her and watched her with narrowed eyes before nodding, "Aye, aye, Commander."

Shepard stood over Joker's shoulder watching the display. She chewed at her lip and noticed Joker nervously rubbing his thumb along the index finger of a loose fist. She laid her hand reassuringly on his shoulder. Joker glanced up at her before reaching up to pat her hand. The screen showed that the locks were lifted and Joker got to work.

Shepard watched the Citadel docks start to slip away through the observation screen. Thane stepped out of the shadows and into the light of artificial day. He stood still with his hands clasped behind his back. Shepard knew that there was no way for him to see her on the Normandy but she felt like he was looking right at her anyway. Someone walked in front of him, blocking her view for the briefest of moments, when they passed, Thane was gone. Shepard pursed her lips and left the cockpit.

She went straight for the galaxy map and input the coordinates for the Mu Relay before calling everyone in to the debriefing room. When the room was full, Shepard stood in the middle of the room.

"Alright, I'm sure you all realize by now that we just technically stole an Alliance vessel. Udina locked us down; he was trying to prevent us from continuing on with this mission because the Council is a bunch of idiots who think that throwing up blockades at the relays will be enough to solve their problem. I suppose I should be happy that they are at least doing something," she ran a hand through her hair.

"We're not letting this go that easy, though. We're headed to Ilos now. If anyone has any complaints about my actions today, you're welcome to voice your opinions but you're stuck on this ship until this shit is over with so you'd better come to terms with it all pretty quick," Shepard let her eyes roam over her team and was relieved to see nothing but nods and smiles of encouragement.

"Saren has gone to Ilos in order to access the Conduit. The Conduit will transport him to the middle of the Citadel if I'm not able to stop him in time. He plans to –," Shepard said.

"I'm sorry, but did you just say that the Conduit will take him to the Citadel? How is that possible?" Ashley cut in.

Shepard gave her a stern look for cutting her off, but she answered the question anyway, "Look, Williams… all of you… I don't know all of the details. It was something the protheans built before their fall. As I was saying, Saren plans to use the Conduit to get past the Citadel's defenses. Once inside he will attempt to seize control over the Citadel, allowing Sovereign to use the Citadel to open the way for the other reapers."

"How is the Citadel going to bring in the other reapers?" Tali asked.

Shepard took a breath and began pacing, "The Citadel is an inactive mass relay. It links to where the reapers are hiding out in dark space."

"Of course it does," said Wrex.

"Commander Shepard, that doesn't make any sense. Surely someone would have noticed?" Tali said.

"Yeah… that's pretty much what the Council said, too," said Shepard dropping herself into a chair.

She sat staring at her feet in silence while the others whispered amongst themselves. They quieted again when she looked up.

"I don't have all of the answers. I'm sorry. I need you all to trust me, though. I know that's asking a lot, but it's the way it has to be. When we get to Ilos, Joker is going to drop us all in the Mako. It'll be crowded but we can make it work. Joker will be given orders to immediately return to the Citadel. Sovereign and geth ships are already on their way there. He will assist the other fleets in taking care of Sovereign and the geth," Shepard said putting an end to the questions.

"The ground team will infiltrate Ilos and attempt to cut Saren off before he can access the Conduit. If we fail, Saren will arrive inside of the Citadel with more geth. If that happens, the ground team will follow Saren through the Conduit to stop him from seizing control. If we are able to deal with Saren before then, we will still use the Conduit to get to the Citadel if possible." Shepard said.

"Captain Kirrahe and his men have pledged their support. They will be ready on the Citadel to help from the inside. Are there any questions relating to what we have to do here?" Shepard asked.

A look around the room showed eyes full of doubt but everyone shook their head. She dismissed everyone before making her way to the cockpit to explain the plan to Joker.

"So, you expect me to leave all of you down there?" Joker asked.

"I do. The Normandy is state of the art, and you're the best damn pilot the Alliance has, Joker. They're going to need you to lead them in tearing apart Sovereign," Shepard said.

"Well, yeah, obviously but are you sure you'll be able to get back to the Citadel?" Joker asked.

"I am, but if for some reason we don't make it back, it's still better for you to be there than on Ilos waiting for us," Shepard said.

"Alright, if you say so, Commander," Joker said.

Shepard patted him on the shoulder and headed towards the stairs in the CIC. Garrus was leaning against the wall next to the stairs waiting for her. She smiled when she saw him. He was exactly what she needed. She took his hand and wordlessly led him down the stairs to her cabin. She stripped off her armor and turned to Garrus to wrap her arms around his neck.

Garrus nuzzled her neck, "I can still smell him on you."

"Do you want me to go take a shower?" Shepard asked pulling back to look in Garrus' eyes.

"No, I want you right here with me," Garrus said wrapping a hand around her waist to pull her to him. "Besides, when I'm done with you the only scent that will be on you is my own."

"Mmmm. That sounds promising," Shepard said bring her lips up to his.

Garrus growled, sliding his hands down her waist and over her ass before cupping them around her thighs. He heaved, pulling her upwards to wrap her legs around his waist. Shepard clung to his neck, her mouth staying locked on his. He turned and carried her to her bed, placing a knee down on the mattress he slowly lowered her before standing back up to slide his armor off. She watched him through heavily lidded eyes.

When he had stripped down to the snuggly fitting under armor, his eyes watched Shepard with a predatory gaze. It made the blood heat up in her veins. Garrus leaned down over her, a hand pressing into the bed on either side of her shoulders. He used his knee to spread her legs apart before sliding a warm thigh up to press against her, eliciting a quiet gasp from Shepard. His mouth found hers and she was lost to the scent and the feel of Garrus all around her.

For the first time, Garrus was asleep before Shepard. She laid in her bed with his arms wrapped around her listening to the sound of his soft breathing. They were racing towards Ilos and Shepard knew that the clock was ticking down for her. She didn't know if she was going to find a way to stop what lay ahead. If she was going to be able to find a way to keep herself from having to die and be turned over to Cerberus but still stop the reapers from destroying the galaxy. Why did she have to be the one to do all of this, anyway?

She turned her head slowly to look up at Garrus' face. His eyes were closed but he still had that visor on and the blue glow forced her to squint her eyes. Even in his sleep, she could see the tension in his face. She felt like she was the worst person in the world to invite him into her bed and heart all the while telling him that it might end in such a horrible fashion so soon. She was going to die and leave him to deal with the aftermath for two years if she didn't stop this. And then, she'd do it to him all over again when she died in the Crucible. Only she wouldn't be coming back to him after that. No, either she fixed the cycle and stayed dead or she woke up again in someone else's body. Sure, there'd be another Garrus… or was it still this Garrus, she wasn't sure. It didn't matter though, she wouldn't be herself and he wouldn't be hers. He would live though. He might hate her for it, but she would make sure that no matter what, he lived.

Shepard tried to gently lift Garrus arm off of her so she could slide out of the bed. He emitted a low growl and pulled her in closer. She had to fight back a laugh. She gave up on that idea and instead closed her eyes. It took her a bit longer to reach that quiet place of tranquility while she was lying wrapped up next to Garrus but she succeeded.

 _"Hello, Dawn,"_ Jane's soft voice came to attention.

"What's going to happen to him, Jane?" Shepard asked.

 _"That depends on you at this point. What you do, how you change things,"_ Jane said.

"What usually happens to him?" Shepard asked.

 _"Well, while Cerberus is busy bringing us back he struggles to come to terms with the loss and the impending invasion. He tries to get someone to listen to him, goes to his father. It doesn't do a whole lot of good. He ends up on Omega, a total shithole of a station, practicing his own version of justice,"_ Jane said. _"He rallies a team around him, until one of them – Sidonis betrays them and everyone on the team gets taken out. He… kind of loses it after that. When we find him again he's held up in a building with every merc on Omega gunning for his ass. That's how he gets those scars. A gunship shoots him with a rocket blast. It grazes his face. Fucks us up good to rush back into the room and find him lying in a pool of his own blood. He's not the same after losing everything like that. He's more cynical, closed off, more ruthless."_

Shepard stayed quiet, swallowing back tears so Jane continued.

 _"This is the first time a relationship like this has happened with him before our resurrection. It may go completely different for him this time,"_ Jane said.

"You mean it might be far worse," Shepard said.

 _"Maybe… or maybe it will be better somehow. Especially since he knows that you'll be coming back,"_ Jane said.

"Maybe," Shepard said before pausing to think. "He lives through it, in the end after the reapers, right?"

 _"I can't really answer that with certainty, but I believe that's the idea. I don't really know what happens to everyone else when we wake up again. If the universe just resets them somehow or what,"_ Jane said.

"I have to do this, though, right? I have to go to Ilos and stop Saren. Stop Sovereign," Shepard asked even though she already knew the answer.

 _"If you don't, they'll take control of the Citadel and the reapers will be here sooner than ever. We don't have the Crucible yet. We'd have no way to fight them. Dawn, they would rip through every ship we threw at them like they were nothing more than falling leaves getting in their way,"_ Jane said.

"How do we get the Crucible?" Shepard asked.

 _"The plans for it are on Mars. Liara will find them when we're serving our sentence. We'll have to gather support from the rest of the galaxy to help get it built,"_ Jane said.

"Maybe we can get the plans sooner, start work on it sooner," Shepard said.

 _"We can try. It's not something we can build though, the thing is massive and Hackett has teams of people working to get it built around the clock. We send everyone we can to help, but it still barely gets finished in time,"_ Jane said.

"Still though, Anderson believes us about the reapers and if we get the plans for the Crucible to the Alliance sooner… maybe if nothing else we'll get it finished a little sooner," Shepard said.

 _"It's as good a plan as any. It might throw a wrench into a few other things, like EDI getting her body, but that's honestly the least of our concerns,"_ Jane said.

"What does that have to do with EDI getting a body?" Shepard asked.

 _"When we go to Mars after we're reinstated to find Liara and get the plans for the Crucible, we have to fight the infiltration mech that becomes EDI's body. If we change that, the mech won't be there when we go. Possibly won't be there even if we go back later, depends on if Cerberus thinks there is still a reason to place the mech there. No way to know,"_ Jane said.

"Hmm. What was the mech after?" Shepard asked.

 _"The same thing we are, information on the Crucible and whatever else they took from the prothean archives. It's because of them that it takes us so long to learn that the Citadel is the Catalyst that the plans call for to activate the Crucible,"_ Jane said.

Shepard stayed quiet for a long time, teetering on the edge of consciousness.

 _"Get some sleep, Dawn. You're going to need it,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah…," Shepard said letting herself drift off.

"… let her sleep a little while longer, Joker," Garrus' voice was pulling Shepard back into consciousness.

"Alright, but it's your ass on the line if she isn't happy with it," Joker's voice responded through the cabin's comm.

Shepard rolled over and groaned, "I'm awake. What's up, Joker?"

Garrus was already dressed and sitting at Shepard's desk working on a datapad. He turned to look at her frowned.

"We're hitting the Mu Relay in thirty, Commander," Joker said.

"Alright, thanks, Joker," Shepard said.

She sat up in bed and stretched, the sheet falling away to expose her breasts to the chill air of the cabin. Garrus laid the datapad on the table without taking his eyes off of her. Her lips pulled up into a lazy smile. Garrus crossed the room to crawl across the bed, nuzzling her neck when he reached her.

"Nuh uh, mister. We don't have time for this," Shepard said.

Garrus released a sigh across her neck and shoulder before resting his forehead there, "I know. Spirits, I know."

Shepard rested her palm on the back of his head beneath his crest, "I'm sorry, Garrus. For doing this to you. Putting you through all of this. I want you to know, though, I don't think I could do any of this without you."

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Dawn," Garrus said.

She wanted to tell him that she loved him, but she couldn't bring herself to say the words. She hoped he knew it, though. She hoped he never doubted it, and that it was enough to sustain him when they were apart. Garrus pulled away from her neck to give her a quick kiss before he touched his forehead to hers.

"I'll go get ready," Garrus said.

"Tell the others to get ready too, will you?" Shepard asked.

"You got it," Garrus said leaving her alone in the cabin to get dressed.

Shepard stared at her reflection in the mirror as she ran a brush through her hair. She gathered up all of the fear, all of the doubt, all of the regret, and even her love and locked it away inside of her. She reached deep to find that place of cold determination and wrapped it around her like a shroud. When she was ready, she left her cabin leaving Dawn behind and fully Commander Shepard once more.

She stopped in the mess hall long enough to grab some protein bars. Going in on an empty stomach was just stupid, no matter how little she felt like eating. Her eyes grazed over Kaidan's old station but she didn't let herself feel the old familiar ache for him. Now wasn't the time.

In the cockpit, Shepard stood behind Joker. She watched as the tendrils of mass effect energy reached out from the relay to grab a hold of the Normandy. She steadied herself with a hand on the back of Joker's seat when she felt the tendrils fling the Normandy forward as speeds simply not possible by any other means. The ship slowed to a stop in the Refuge system near the planet Agetoton. Ilos could just barely be seen in the distance. Shepard slipped into the co-pilots chair to watch their approach. Before long, her team had begun to migrate to the cockpit to watch as well. Navigator Pressly came in to access the map layouts of Ilos from a console.

The cockpit erupted into a flurry of activity and voices when the scanners started to pick up the full force of geth ships that were orbiting Ilos. She could hear the arguments starting when Pressly insisted it was going to be impossible to land the ship.

"Everyone be quiet," Shepard said.

She felt the eyes on her but she stared forward out of the observation screen.

"They can't see us and Joker is going to drop us in the Mako," Shepard said.

"Commander, there isn't an area that we can drop you anywhere near –," Pressly said.

"Joker can do this," Shepard said.

"Commander, you'd need at least a hundred meters –," Pressly began.

"We're doing it with twenty," Shepard said.

"That's insane –," Ashley began.

"I can do it," Joker said.

His eyes locked on Shepard and she turned to meet his gaze, nodding her head, "You've got this Joker. You're going to drop us in the Mako and then you're going to high tail it back to the Citadel."

Shepard ordered everyone to the cargo bay. It took them a few minutes to figure out a semi-comfortable configuration to fit them all in the Mako. Shepard was forced to cede the driver's seat to Garrus whose long legs made it difficult for others to get in the back. Wrex was given the passenger's seat in the front because he took up too much of what little space there was in the back. As it was, Liara was all but sitting on Shepard's lap. It occurred to Shepard that if Kaidan had lived, there wouldn't be room. She shut down the ache in her chest before it could overtake her.

Joker came over her comm to let her know that they were approaching the drop zone. Shepard gave Garrus the go ahead and he started rolling the Mako forward. The cargo bay doors opened and the Mako dropped fast and hard.

"Keelah," Tali said.

"Goddess," Liara whispered.

"Holy shit!" Ashley yelled.

Wrex whooped with krogan enthusiasm while Garrus white knuckled the steering wheel. Shepard stayed quiet. The Mako slammed into the ground. Ahead of them, Saren was sealing the doors behind him and his army of geth. The Mako wouldn't make it through in time. Garrus was pushing down on the breaks to keep it from slamming into the reinforced door. The Mako rolled to a stop and Shepard ordered everyone out.

She didn't give them time to stand around debating how to get inside; she already knew what needed to be done. Jane was already there directing her, and warning her of enemy placements. Shepard ordered her team away from the entrance and back towards the geth. She had them spread out behind the stone slabs that separated them from the armatures. Shepard, Wrex, and Ashley took point to focus on the armatures while Garrus, Tali, and Liara handled the foot soldiers. Working together, her team cut through the geth with ease. They pushed forward down the series of switchback ramps to the ground below.

Again, they spread out to confuse and harry the geth, keeping them from amassing on Shepard's location. Shepard kept pushing her team forward, avoiding areas that weren't necessary even if that meant leaving geth behind. There wasn't time. She left them to hold the ground while she ran up a ramp and into the security room. She activated the panel, ignoring the static filled warning message the protheans left behind. Her fingers ran over the keys, unlocking the doors to the archives.

Shepard rushed back down to her team and ushered them into the elevator beneath the security room. It took them back up to the top and let them off where they started, across from where the armatures had been. They raced back to the Mako and everyone piled in. Garrus slammed his foot down, pushing the Mako forward at top speed into the trenches of the archives.

She urged him to keep going even when geth appeared in their path, "Run them over if you have to just keep going. Ashley, on the guns! Take out what you can!"

"What are those things on the walls?" Tali asked.

"Stasis pods," Shepard answered without thought.

"Goddess, there are protheans in there!" Liara said.

"The pods are no longer active, Liara. There are corpses in there," Shepard said.

"I see. Still, can you imagine what we could learn from examining them?" Liara said.

"Maybe you'll be able to come back some day and take a go at it Liara, but today there's no time," Shepard said.

"Of course, Commander, I certainly did not mean to imply that we should stop now," Liara said before falling silent.

Shepard glanced at the asari and tried to give her an apologetic smile but Liara's eyes were still focused on the rows upon rows of deactivated prothean stasis pods lining the way. A golden barrier blocked the way ahead.

"Ambush?" Wrex asked.

"No, there's a prothean VI up ahead. It's trying to get our attention. Stop right next to that elevator up there on the right, Garrus," Shepard said.

The Mako rolled to a stop, "Garrus keep it running. Liara, you'll want to see this."

Liara took the elevator with Shepard and out onto the walkway where the console that housed the VI was located.

"Vigil, we don't have a lot of time. I know what the Conduit is, and I know it leads to the Citadel. I know the Citadel will summon the rest of the reapers if Sovereign is allowed to get control over it. I need the data file for the Citadel controls," Shepard said when she approached the VI.

The swirling mass of shapes and lights that was the holographic projection of the VI spoke, "You have seen our warnings. I do not detect the presence of indoctrination on you. You know what must be done. I will prepare the data file."

Liara gasped in surprise at being able to understand the VI.

"It's been monitoring our comms and adapting to our language," Shepard said.

"Vigil, can you also transfer information on the protheans work on Ilos to stop the reaper threat including everything about the Conduit and the Citadel to me?" Shepard asked opening her omni-tool.

"Shepard, that is an excellent idea," Liara said.

 _"Agreed,"_ Jane said.

The holographic image of Vigil shrunk down into an orange sized orb before floating forward to hover over Shepard's open omni-tool. A few moments later it pulled away and expanded back out to its original size.

"Data transfer complete," Vigil said.

"Thanks. Come on, Liara, we have to hurry," Shepard said.

Liara pulled herself away from the VI's hologram and raced with Shepard back to the elevator. Once the elevator let them out in front of the Mako, they squeezed back inside. The force field was gone and Garrus already had the Mako moving before the door was closed. The trenches began to twist and turn before dropping them down to a lower level with a thin sheet of water filling the bottom.

"Hurry, hurry," Shepard urged.

"I'm going as fast as we can, Shepard!" Garrus' strained voice responded.

They rushed their way through more geth set up along the way, Ashley shooting down what she could while Garrus kept the Mako moving forward.

"Colossus!" Garrus called out.

"Just keep going, dodge the blasts as much as you can. Ashley, blast that damn thing!" Shepard barked.

They got past the Colossus and rounded more corners to zoom past a group of rocket troopers. Shepard's eyes were scanning ahead, hoping desperately that they would catch Saren before he got to the Conduit. All she saw was more geth until they hit the last run. A steep slope led downward, at the end several colossi were being activated by geth shock troopers. The Conduit stood, a massive beam of light coming from what looked a lot like a miniature mass relay just beyond them.

"There! There he is. Guns, Ashley, guns! Go, Garrus! Go, go, go!" Shepard slapped her hand on the back of the driver's seat. She heard him growl in response, the Mako really was going as fast as it could and there was nothing that he could do to speed it up.

 _"All new,"_ Jane said.

Saren was on the ground supervising the geth setting up the colossi. A cannon blast hit the ground in front of him, knocking him back. Saren dragged himself to his feet and looked up at the Mako. They were already halfway down to him when he raced for his hovering platform and jumped on. He tried to head straight for the Conduit but another blast from the Mako's cannon forced him to detour. Ashley, switched to the machine guns to keep him harried. They Mako wasn't close enough to get a good lock, especially while he was moving and they were rushing forward.

The colossi shook and rose to their feet, already priming up electrical blasts. Troopers turned and started firing on the Mako. Garrus dodged the first of the colossi blasts; Ashley turned the guns on the quadruped geth monstrosities.

"No, stay with Saren, Ashley," Shepard growled.

It was too late though, Saren was at the Conduit and it was pulling him in.

"Damn it, Garrus get to the Conduit," Shepard said.

The Mako hit the conduit mere seconds after Saren. It was lifted up into the beam of bright white light and then suddenly they were being thrown out on the Citadel. Shepard had just enough time to see Saren before the Mako crashed into him sending him flying back into a pile of burning debris. The Mako bounced and flipped, sliding across the floor towards Saren before coming to a stop. She had to maneuver Liara's still form off of her in order to pull herself from the vehicle. Wrex all but ripped his door off the hinges in order to dive on Saren pulling him out of the fire and slamming his head into the turian.

Pride rushed from Jane into Shepard and back again as the living felt in sync with the dead. Shepard helped Tali out while Ashley tended to Liara. Liara still wasn't moving. Shepard couldn't think about that right now. She had her pistol out and was vying for a shot when Garrus climbed out through the passenger's door. She spared a glance in his direction to make sure he was alright. He was already drawing his assault rifle and moving into position.

They weren't far from the elevator that would lead up to the Citadel Towers. Saren had clearly sent geth in ahead of him to clear the way. Fires and destruction surrounded the area. Husks slid down off of dragons teeth to charge her team. Shepard opened her comm and flipped to Kirrahe's channel before firing into the heads of the oncoming husks.

"Kirrahe, we're at the elevator to the Citadel Towers. We've got Saren pinned down. Geth are swarming the area," Shepard said.

"Headed to you now, Commander," Kirrahe's breathless voice said amidst the sounds of gunfire.

Saren sent Wrex flying backwards into the crashed Mako, making it spin on its side. Shepard opened fire. Tali was beside her with her shotgun out, firing blast after blast into the augmented turian. Wrex got back on his feet and charged Saren again. The krogan slammed into him, taking him to the ground where he pummeled his face with meaty fists. Shepard ran forward and shot Saren in the skull. He stopped moving.

Kirrahe and five of his men ran around a corner. She could tell immediately that at least three of them were severely wounded and they were being pursued. Shepard had her pistol up to fire at the first geth to step into sight. Garrus turned to see what she was firing at, his gun already raising to meet the new threat. Tali was already Hacking the geth prime that was locking in on Kirrahe. The handful of geth collapsed, one after another making a nice little mound of geth.

Kirrahe ran up to her, "Commander Shepard, where do you need us?"

"Garrus, Tali with me. Everyone else set up position here. Defend this elevator. They want in to the controls console in the Tower. More might be coming through that Conduit any moment. Wrex? Wrex?" Shepard couldn't get the krogan to look at her.

His eyes were everywhere, wide and wild. His whole body was heaving and she only just noticed he was bleeding heavily from his side. Shepard started to walk towards Wrex when Garrus' hand shot out and grabbed her. She turned to him confused.

"He's injured too bad, his redundant systems have taken over. He's in full blown battle rage. Spirits, be grateful he hasn't assessed the rest of us as a threat," Garrus said.

Shepard nodded and stayed where she was, "Wrex, I need you to try to focus. I've got Medi-gel. I need you Wrex. Saren isn't really dead yet, he's not done. Do you hear me? Sovereign can take control of his corpse and trust me; it's far harder to take him down again. We need to do something with him to keep that from happening."

Wrex turned and locked eyes on Shepard. Jane told her to stay still and so she did. Kirrahe and Garrus started to raise their guns; Shepard held a hand out to stop them. She watched as Wrex sniffed the air before turning to look at Saren's corpse at his feet. Wrex reached down and ripped the turian's head right off his body before throwing it over his shoulder. Shepard's eyes bugged out and her mouth dropped open. She watched in horror and amazement for a second as Wrex began tearing the turian limb from limb.

 _"Dear gods,"_ Jane said.

Ashley pulled herself out of the Mako; she stopped with much the same expression as Shepard when she saw Wrex dismembering Saren.

"Uh, Liara's going to be OK. I've got her stabilized. We should avoid moving her until we have a way to transport her to a hospital," Ashley said.

Shepard nodded at Ashley before asking, "Garrus is it safe to leave him like this?"

It was Kirrahe who answered, "He'll likely fall unconscious very soon. At which point it will be safe for someone to tend to his wounds. He will be fine, Commander. Go, get to the Tower."

Shepard patted Kirrahe on the shoulder before running for the elevators with Garrus and Tali right behind her. Without Saren at the controls, the elevator didn't lock up on them as Jane told her it had every time before. The elevator took them all the way up to the Towers before opening up to a path of dead geth.

"Go to the sea!" a familiar voice drew Shepard's attention towards the stairs.

Thane stood at the top of the stairs, a pistol in his hand and biotic energy called up around his body. A geth was flying through the air away from the drell assassin. He spun to face another. Shepard ran for the stairs, gun raised and shooting a geth that was trying to flank Thane. The assassin spun and shot a final bullet, dropping the geth that Shepard had been shooting. She reached the top of the stairs and leveled her gun at the advancing geth coming from the next tier. The assassin did not acknowledge her presence other than to adjust his method of fighting to accommodate the presence of covering fire.

Shepard pushed forward, instinct, training, and Jane telling her where the others would be and where her allies would take cover.

"Commander, if you're there we need you to get those arms back open. The Destiny Ascension is in trouble, we can save her," Joker's voice came through her comm.

"I'm working on it, Joker!" Shepard yelled over the sounds of battle.

A juggernaut fell off the balcony and crashed through the glass to land on the rocks and grass below. Shepard spared a glance, knowing that that would have been the location of the final battle with Saren if things had gone differently. She ran to the console and opened her omni-tool, activating the file Vigil had given her. She took control over the Citadel and opened the arms of the Citadel.

"Go, Joker! Get the Destiny Ascension out of there!" Shepard said.

She turned back to the others to see that Thane was gone. Disappointed but not surprised, she leaned over, putting her hands on her knees to catch her breath. She could hear the sounds of the ships entering the Citadel's arms. She only gave herself a few seconds, she knew that pretty soon pieces of Sovereign were going to come crashing through those windows and she didn't want to be anywhere near them when it happened. She listened to the chatter of ship captains ordering fleets to attack as they made their way back down to the elevator.

When the elevator opened up on the Presidium, she saw that Wrex was slumped against the overturned Mako. He had been bandaged and treated, but was still pretty out of it. Bits and pieces of Saren lay strewn about the area but his head sat on the floor right next to Wrex. The geth that Shepard had left behind on Ilos were still streaming in through the Conduit little by little. Shepard took up station in front of Wrex and raised her gun.

Shepard felt the Citadel shake as pieces of Sovereign pelted the station. Glass and twisted bits of reaper metal rained down all over the place. Shepard and her team were lucky enough to dodge anything that fell near them. Finally, the geth stopped coming through the Conduit and the residual sounds of battle from nearby places stopped. Shepard wondered if some of those sounds had been coming from Thane, wherever he went. She slumped down against the Mako next to Wrex.

She opened her comm link, "Normandy do you read?"

"Normandy here. Cleaning up the last of the geth ships. How are things on your end, Commander?" Joker asked.

"Quiet, finally. We've got wounded down here, Joker. Is there any one on the Citadel you can direct to our location?" Shepard asked.

"I'll see what I can do, ma'am," Joker said.

"Thanks, Joker," Shepard said.

"Normandy out," Joker cut the connection.

An hour later an Alliance search and rescue team found their location. Anderson was with them and she had never been so happy to see his face in her life. She moved to stand up when she saw him but he waved her back down and came to her.

"You did it, Shepard. Are you alright?" Anderson asked squatting in front of her.

"A little bruised and banged up but mostly just exhausted. Wrex got hurt bad; he's going to need special care. Liara is out in the Mako. Williams provided the basics. She said she'll be OK but we shouldn't move her until we're ready to transport her to the hospital," Shepard said. "Captain Kirrahe and his men provided invaluable support. His men are injured as well, treat them as our own. For me."

Anderson grinned, "Sure thing, Commander. Let's get you up."

Anderson slid his arm under Shepard's and helped her to her feet. Garrus moved to her side to help but Shepard waved both men off once she was on her feet again.

"I'm fine, help them," she said.

The rescue team was already securing Liara for transport. Stretchers were being brought in for Kirrahe's men. No one was really sure what to do about Wrex. A few men from the rescue team brought over a stretcher that was laughably too small to support the krogan. When they tried to shift him onto the stretcher he growled at them.

"Come on, Wrex, let them help you," Shepard said.

"No," Wrex said.

"Wrex, you're hurt we need to get you to the hospital," Shepard insisted.

"No. Go away Shepard. I'm trying to sleep here," Wrex said. "You want to help get me something to eat."

Kirrahe came to stand next to Shepard, "The krogan will be fine. If he's asking for food, that's a very good sign."

Shepard chewed on her lip, "Wrex?"

"What do you want, Shepard?" he all but growled at her.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, OK?" Shepard said.

"Yeah. Bring ryncol too," he said before dozing back off.

Shepard followed Anderson and his extraction team to a nearby portable medical tent. It was already nearly filled with wounded civilians, C-Sec officers, and a few soldiers of various species. Shepard watched as asari, salarian, and human doctors and nurses rushed about the tent assessing the wounded and treating the worst of those first. Liara was taken to one of the few empty spots on the floor. The rescue team folded down metal bars beneath the stretcher, before setting it down to act as a cot. An asari came over and began assessing Liara's injuries. Anderson left to speak with her and she saw the asari nod in understanding before looking up to see Shepard.

A few moments later a male human doctor came over to her and scanned her, "A few bruises. Nothing is broken. No internal bleeding. You're good, Commander Shepard."

She didn't bother to ask how he knew who she was, she didn't care. She nodded her thanks to him and sent him on to help other who weren't as lucky as she had been. She told Garrus and Tali to stay and rest even though they weren't seriously injured either. Shepard left the tent once she was content that her people were getting help. She spotted a smaller tent pitched nearby and headed over to peek inside. As she had suspected, a buffet line had been set up to provide food and drink for everyone in the medical tent. Shepard went inside and asked one of the servers to pack her up some things for Wrex. He nodded in compliance and a few minutes later handed her several collapsible boxes filled with steaming hot food and a few bottles of water piled together in a sack.

She made her way back through the debris that was slowly being cleared away to sit down next to Wrex. She wasn't really surprised to see Garrus walk up a minute later carrying another sack. Shepard nudged Wrex.

"Wrex. Food," Shepard said.

The krogan grunted as he stirred. He took the proffered sack from Shepard and began digging in. Shepard accepted a box from Garrus after he settled in next to her but didn't open it to start eating until Garrus gave her a warning look. She smiled weakly and started to eat.

"Where's my ryncol?" Wrex asked.

"Sorry, Wrex. The food tent didn't have any on hand. You'll have to do with bottled water for now," Shepard said.

Wrex grunted in response.

"That was him, wasn't it? The drell in the Tower?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah," Shepard said.

"He's impressive," Garrus said.

"He is," she said.

Shepard was glad that Garrus let it drop with that. They ate in silence surrounded by death and gore. Eventually, Wrex started to drag himself to his feet, taking Saren's skull with him.

"You're, uh, you're keeping that?" Shepard asked.

"I said I wanted his head, Shepard. I'm not letting go of it now that I have it," Wrex said.

 _"Indoctrination?"_ Jane asked.

"Alright, Wrex," Shepard said holding up her hands to show him she wasn't going to argue against it. "Just be careful with it, we don't know if that thing could still hold some juice. Don't want another indoctrinated krogan on my hands."

Wrex chuckled. Shepard and Garrus walked him back to the medical tent but he veered towards the food tent instead. Apparently she hadn't brought him enough. She followed him inside to make sure there wouldn't be any problems. She didn't want to know what would happen if one of the servers tried to deny Wrex his fill.

An hour later and Joker called her to let her know the Normandy was docked and repairs were being made. She gathered up her team and moved them back to the ship. She even had Liara carried back to the med bay to be tended to by Dr. Chakwas. Once Liara was settled in, Shepard went to her cabin and stripped down. She knew she was a mess, soaked in blood and sweat but she was too tired to care. She collapsed on her bed and was asleep before Garrus could slide in next to her.

The next morning, Shepard received a call from the Council. They wanted to meet with her at her earliest convenience. Shepard smirked. She knew 'earliest convenience' really meant get your ass here now, but she took her time anyway. She showered and dressed before taking a long breakfast with her banged up crew before heading to the Council's chambers. The Citadel was still a wreck closest to the Towers but it was getting cleaned up rather swiftly, especially with the keepers milling about dragging things away to unseen areas.

Anderson and Udina stood facing the three councilors when Shepard arrived. She walked up and took her place next to Anderson. It was rare for anyone to see the three councilors together outside of holographic projection. It was for their safety, mostly, but Shepard thought that they secretly liked the sense of mystique and power it afforded them.

"Ambassador, Captain, Commander Shepard," Tevos began. "We have gathered here to recognize the enormous contributions of the Alliance forces in the war against Sovereign and the geth."

"Many humans lost their lives in the battle to save the Citadel," Valern said. "Brave and courageous soldiers who willingly gave their lives so that we, the Council, might live."

 _"It's… same…nothing… the fuck… take?"_ Jane said.

Shepard resisted the urge to cross her arms over her chest and settled for a cold look of disbelief.

"There is no greater sacrifice and we share your grief over the tragic loss of so many noble men and women," Sparatus said.

"The Council also owes you a great personal debt, Commander. One we can never repay. You saved not just our lives but the lives of billions from Sovereign and the reapers," Tevos said.

"Commander Shepard, your heroic and selfless actions serve as a symbol of everything humanity and the Alliance stand for," said Valern.

"And though we cannot bring back those valiant soldiers who gave their lives to save ours, we can honor their memories through our actions," Sparatus said.

"How about an apology?" Shepard finally blurted out.

"Excuse me?" Tevos said.

"You heard me. How about you honor their memories by admitting that you were wrong and that you should have listened to me sooner? Maybe then those lives could have been spared!" Shepard bit out.

"Commander Shepard, you must understand that you had no viable evidence to support your claims. There was nothing to indicate that Sovereign was anything more than a ship. Nothing to indicate that Saren was anything more than a rogue Spectre who needed to be brought in to face justice," Sparatus said.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me?!" Shepard scoffed.

"Commander Shepard! That is enough –," Udina started to scold her.

"Can it, Udina or so help me gods, the love tap Anderson gave you will feel like a walk in the park," Shepard said.

Anderson cleared his throat from beside her. She knew him well enough to know that he was stifling a laugh.

"Commander, perhaps now is not the time for this?" Anderson said.

Shepard crossed her arms and shut her mouth for Anderson's sake.

"Your anger is… understandable, Commander. It is regrettable that things worked out the way that they did. The past, however, cannot be changed," Tevos said. "Today we want to honor humanity. We believe that humanity has shown itself to be worthy of joining the Council. As I am sure you understand, this is not a position that is earned easily nor given lightly,"

"Councilor, on behalf of humanity and the Alliance, we thank you for this prestigious honor and humbly accept," Udina said.

Shepard glared at Udina but bit her tongue.

"We will need a list of potential candidates to fill humanity's seat on the Council," said Valern.

"Given all that has happened, I am sure that your recommendation will carry a great deal of weight, Commander," Tevos said.

"Captain Anderson," Shepard said without hesitation.

"Him?" Udina asked. "You must be joking. Anderson prefers to let his fists do the talking."

"Only with you, Ambassador. Only with you," Anderson said.

Shepard smirked and she could feel Udina's eyes on her.

"Are you sure about this, Commander?" Udina asked. "The Captain's a soldier not a politician."

"That's exactly the point, Udina," Shepard said.

"I think it's an inspired choice. The Council would welcome him with open arms," said Tevos. "Should he accept."

"I'm honored, Councilor. As humanity's representative, I'll do everything in my power to help the Council rebuild," said Anderson.

"Sovereigns defeat marks the beginning of a new era," said Sparatus. "For both humanity and the Council."

Shepard opened her omni-tool and began typing, earning disdainful looks from everyone but Anderson. She compressed the files given to her by Vigil and forwarded a copy of them to the Councilors. She heard the ping of their omni-tools simultaneously as Sparatus, Tevos, Valern, and Anderson each received a copy.

"I've just forwarded you each a copy of files that were retrieved from a prothean VI on Ilos. The files contain reports from the protheans themselves on the reapers, and what is to come for us if we don't stop this from happening. I had sincerely hoped that you would all be ready to hear the truth after this attack. I guess I was wrong. Sovereign wasn't the end, he was just the beginning. I'm going to go find a way to stop them," Shepard turned and walked away.


	22. Epilogue: What Now?

**Epilogue: What Now?**

 **Post Attack on the Citadel**

 **Day 1:**

Liara regains consciousness while Shepard is busy speaking with the Council. Shepard is relieved to see her friend awake when she returns to the ship.

 **Day 3:**

The Normandy is cleared to leave the docks once more. Shepard begins work on cleaning out geth outposts while she struggles to find a way to avoid the events of the Amada system.

Liara is given the file retrieved from Vigil. The damaged VI was unable to completely translate everything that was given to Shepard and Liara is asked to help Shepard interpret what she is able to translate.

 **Day 4:**

Shepard receives a message from the Council. They are also working to translate the information provided by Vigil, but cast doubts on the veracity of the material considering the only person who witnessed Shepard retrieve said information is Liara T'soni – the daughter of a known traitor, no one knows who might have interacted with the VI prior to Shepard finding it, and there is no way to verify the data wasn't tampered with after it was collected. They plan to send someone else to Ilos to speak with Vigil and to try to determine if the information provided by the VI is reliable. Shepard already knows that won't work.

 **Day 6:**

Garrus begins receiving back channel messages from his contacts on C-Sec. After the attack on the Citadel, they are ready to listen to what he has to say.

 **Day 10:**

Shepard receives a private message from Councilor Valern asking her for a private meeting. The Normandy returns to the Citadel so that Shepard can speak with Valern while Garrus meets with his contacts.

Valern requests Shepard's discretion about their meeting privately, he doesn't wish for the others on the Council to know just yet. He tells Shepard that he has spent some time reviewing what he could of the prothean files and had many conversations at length with Captain Kirrahe and his men. He tells her he will send her what salarian support he can and in the meantime, will continue to attempt to convince Councilor's Tevos and Councilor Sparatus. Shepard is pleased to see the changes in attitude and encourages him to collaborate with Anderson.

Garrus reports that several of his contacts have agreed to begin pushing for preparations for the war on the Citadel but that there really isn't a lot else that they can do to help.

 **Day 11:**

Shepard confides in Liara about Jane. She holds no noticeable doubts over what Shepard has to say. Shepard takes that as a good sign and tells Liara of the important roles she will be needed to play in upcoming events. It is a difficult conversation and seems to cause significant distress to Liara.

Liara agrees that she will go to Mars for Shepard to find the plans for the Conduit, but she will not do so until she knows that Shepard is safe and has avoided the events of the Amada system. She says that she does not wish to have to search for Shepard's corpse, nor turn it over to Cerberus but she will do as she must should the events of the Amada system come to pass. Liara begs Shepard to not even go to the Amada system and to tell the Council to send someone else instead.

Shepard contacts Admiral Hackett to see what the Alliance is doing to prepare for the reaper invasion. Admiral Hackett assures her that he has taken her warnings seriously and is doing everything he can to convince the Alliance High Command of the impending threat. He tells her that they have increased their recruitment efforts, are patrolling Alliance space, and have begun to stock resources as much as possible. He tells her that there isn't much else that he can do until the reapers hit.

She tells him that the collectors might soon start abducting human colonies on the edges of Alliance space and urges him to send reinforcements to their locations. He promises to do what he can. She tells him that she has reason to believe that there are plans for a weapon capable of defeating the reapers in the prothean ruins on Mars. Hackett agrees to have the research teams there start looking and to allow Liara T'soni to join the team.

 **Day 12:**

Tali is returned to the Migrant Fleet with all of the geth data they were able to collect. Shepard promises to send any more that she finds to Tali. Tali vows to make her people aware of the seriousness of the reaper threat and help them to prepare to take what actions they can.

Shepard tells Garrus that she intends to make a video warning of the reaper threat and send it to the military of every known species. Garrus warns Shepard that if such a video got out it would likely incite panic in the masses, leading to an uptick in violence, hoarding, riots, and looting. Shepard tells him that she knows, but she thinks it needs to be done anyway. She tells him that the people need to be prepared to defend themselves if the Council won't.

 **Shepard's message:**

"My name is Commander Shepard. Many of you might recognize me as the first human Spectre. I'm recording this video today in the hopes that my message won't fall on deaf ears. As we stand today, the galaxy is facing an approaching threat that we are not yet ready to defend against. The ship that many of you saw on the Citadel – Sovereign was not geth technology, but one of many to come. Sovereign was what the protheans called a reaper, and they were responsible for the downfall of the protheans."

"I am not telling you this to incite panic, or to cause terror – although I accept that will likely be a consequence of my doing so. I am telling you this because I think that you have the right to know. I am telling you this because the galaxy is going to need all of the help it can get."

"If you are hearing these words and you are in a position of power, then I ask that you do what you can to prepare for what our future holds. Gather resources, gather men, train yourselves, and seek new recruits – whatever it is that you can do."

"It is not my intention for this video to be aired to the public but I understand that is a potential outcome. If you are a civilian and you hear this, know that your military is going to need more able bodied men and women who are willing to fight for their people and for the galaxy. Make the right decision to use this knowledge to help the war effort and not hinder it, lives are at stake."

 **Day 14:**

Shepard begins receiving messages from various government officials. Some request more information, some promise support, while others dismiss her as a lunatic. Shepard is disheartened at how many there are of the last.

Wrex tells Shepard that he's secured passage back to Tuchanka. She offers to take him there herself but he insists she stay on track clearing out the geth and rounding up support. He says he has a few stops to make along the way. Wrex tells Shepard that he's going to toss Saren's head into the sun of Aralakh before knocking a few heads around on Tuchanka to whip his people into shape.

 **Day 20:**

Shepard's video is leaked to the public. Wide spread panic begins. Riots begin to break out in more heavily populated areas but are quickly quelled by the authority figures that were prepared for the possibility.

The Council demands that the video be completely removed from the extranet and all methods of public access. A statement is issued by the Council denying Shepard's claims and ensuring the public that the Council has things under control.

Shepard is publicly reprimanded and forced to recant her statements or face imprisonment. She is charged with a fine in the sum of 1,000,000 credits to aid in the repairs of damage done to the Citadel by rioters. Shepard is aware that she was let off easy, likely thanks to Anderson and Valern.

Alliance High Command has refused to send Shepard any reinforcements insisting that they are needed to stay in Alliance space to protect humanity's interests and to prevent political backlash if they are reported to be gathering in allied territory.

 **Day 21:**

All of the Council races report an alarming rise in people showing up to enlist in the military. C-Sec also reports an increase in the number of applications it has received in the last galactic standard day.

Jane expresses hope and optimism.

Valern tells Shepard that her actions with releasing the video was reckless but that it does not change the fact that he is preparing the salarians for war. He cannot, however, aid her directly without a majority vote from the Council. Tevos and Sparatus are still doubtful of the threat. Attempts to access Vigil on Ilos were fruitless, as the VI was no longer functioning.

 **Day 22:**

Shepard records fail safe video messages to be delivered to everyone that was on her team including Joker. The videos are set to be automatically sent in the event that Shepard does not log into her account for 15 consecutive days. In the videos she explains to each of them about Jane, about her death, and impending resurrection at the hands of Cerberus. She begs them all to understand why she felt she needed to keep this all from them, and that she did her best to keep this from happening. In the end, either she was unable to prevent her death or she decided that the risk to the galaxy was too high if she attempted to change this part of her cycle.

She creates secondary videos for Garrus, Ashley, Liara, and Joker. In the video, she tells Garrus that she loves him and that she hopes that he can forgive her. She begs him not to let her death be the thing that destroys him. To Ashley, she pleads for understanding and promises Ashley that although it may look like she has defected to Cerberus she is only doing what must be done to save the galaxy. To Liara, Shepard apologizes for how hard all of this must be on her, but thanks her for her promise to do what must be done. To Joker, she assures him that despite the dream she had foretelling of her death in the Amada system and regardless of whatever role he may or may not have actually ended up playing, that she in no way blamed him for this and that he needed to know it was a choice she made.

Jane asks if Shepard is resigned to dying in the Amada system. Shepard assures her she hasn't given up hope yet.

 **Day 25:**

Shepard discreetly attempts to contact Cerberus, requesting a meeting with the Illusive Man. She does not know if her message was received or not.

 **Day 29:**

Shepard forwards all geth related information that she has to Tali.

She has still not received a response from Cerberus.

 **Day 32:**

Shepard makes one last desperate plea to the Council for them to take further action in preparing for the reaper invasion. She is warned by Councilor Sparatus that the gratitude that the Council felt after the attack on the Citadel will only allow Shepard so much more latitude and that he is beginning to agree with Ambassador Udina's assessment that she is becoming more trouble than she is worth. The Council devolved into arguing amongst themselves as first Anderson and then Valern came to her defense. Tevos, as usual, attempted to remain neutral and diplomatic. Shepard told Joker to cut the call.

 **Day 38:**

Shepard still has not received a response from Cerberus. She attempts to send another message.

Jane begins to lose hope that Shepard will find a way to bypass dying in the Amada system, and consequently spending two years of precious time being brought back by Cerberus.

 **Day 45:**

Despite all efforts, Shepard has yet to devise a plan that she felt could guarantee her continued success in fighting the reaper threat and still avoid the events of the Amada system. She secures passage for all non-essential personal aboard the Normandy to the Citadel. Dr. Tulina refuses to leave unless Shepard orders her away. Shepard does not.

She has still not received a response from Cerberus.

Shepard spends the night crying into Garrus' arms while Jane rages in her head.

 **Day 46:**

Shepard sets course for the Omega nebula. It is all that remains to be cleared of geth. She plans to save the Amada system for last; still hoping that Cerberus will contact her or something else will fall into place.


	23. Resurrection Prologue: I Know That Now

**A/N:** I didn't get many votes on the poll and I didn't want to delay posting; the majority was leaning towards keeping it in this thread. So, with out further ado, the second part of 'The Lives and Deaths of Commander Shepard'.

Resurrection

Prologue: I Know That Now

"Shepard, don't do this. Please, there's still time we can find another way," Garrus clung to Shepard, his forehead pressed into hers.

"There is no other way, Garrus. We tried. This is the only guarantee," Shepard said.

"What if she's wrong? What if too much has already changed and you just… stay dead?" Garrus pleaded.

Shepard closed her eyes. She had already considered this possibility. She couldn't bear to tell Garrus that if she did just stay dead it would be a mercy for her and for Jane. For all of the Shepards trapped inside of her.

"If that happens, Garrus, you have to promise me that you will continue this fight without me," Shepard said resolutely.

"How am I going to do that, Shepard? If they won't listen to you, they're not going to listen to me," he said.

"I have faith in you, Garrus," Shepard nudged her hand beneath his chin to get him to look at her.

When he did, she pressed her lips to his. He dragged the kiss out for as long as he could. Shepard knew that he was afraid it would be the last they would ever share. Her heart was breaking. She was facing death and her heart was breaking for the pain it was going to cause the man she loved.

"Listen to me, Garrus. I need you to know some things for when I'm gone," Shepard said.

"I'm listening, Shepard," Garrus said.

"I don't know everything but I know the other times you ended up on Omega. You go vigilante. I'm not telling you not to, you do good work. You put together a team, but you piss off all of the mercs on Omega. They forced one of your men, a turian called Sidonis to turn on you; everyone on your team gets killed," Shepard said.

"Why are you telling me this, Shepard?" Garrus asked holding her hands in his.

"Because… it tears you up, Garrus. When I find you again, on Omega you're not the same. Who would be?" Shepard said.

"I don't want to talk about this, Shepard. You're about to willingly send yourself to die… Spirits and you're wasting your last moments trying to save me from future pain? What about the pain I'm in right now, Shepard? What about the pain I'm going to be in when I'm in that escape pod and you're not?" Garrus said.

"I'm sorry, Garrus," was all she could say.

Alarms blared throughout the Normandy.

"It's time," Shepard said.

Garrus steeled himself and let Shepard go, moving to make sure that everyone else on board made it to the escape pods. He had promised her that he would help and that he would get into one of the pods himself, no matter what. She thought he hated her just a little for asking that of him. Asking him to not spend every last second with her that he could. To not die with her.

Shepard could feel the Normandy trying to outmaneuver the collector ship. She was having trouble keeping her footing. Many people were stumbling and falling around her. She could feel it when the first attack ripped through the ship. She made her way to the comm and slammed her hand down on the button.

"Everyone, this is your commander speaking. Prepare for evacuation. Now!" Shepard yelled.

Those in the CIC turned to stare at her with horror stricken faces before they rushed for the escape pods. The collector's beams seared through the Normandy again and again. Joker was still maneuvering the Normandy, trying to get away from the ship. Shepard closed her eyes and listened to the panic around her. She picked up a fire extinguisher and made her way to the distress beacon before hitting the comm again.

"Joker! It's time to go. Get your ass to the pods. Do not make me come and get you," Shepard yelled.

Liara ran through the ship towards Shepard. Shepard was trying to force the fires back enough so that everyone had a clear path to evacuate.

"Commander… I… yes ma'am," Joker said.

"Commander! Shepard is this it? Oh Goddess! Shepard is this it?" Liara said with tears already in her eyes.

"Be strong for me, Liara. I need you. Everyone needs you," Shepard said.

"Shepard I… I do not know if I can do this. Oh Goddess. Shepard, please, just get into an escape pod. Please?" Liara plead.

Shepard wrapped her arms around Liara and kissed her on the forehead.

"I'm sorry, Liara. Now go!" Shepard said gently pushing the other woman away.

Liara took a few steps backwards, stumbling she finally turned and ran for the escape pods. Shepard got the beacon launched and made her way towards the pods. She wanted to make sure everyone was inside. She stepped over those who had already died; there would be time to mourn them later. The galaxy depended on this. She depended on this.

Jane was buzzing frantically in her head, but Shepard couldn't make out a word she was saying right now. It was too loud on the ship, too much was going on. Shepard was too numb. She saw Joker moving slowly towards the escape shuttles. The shuttles were already blasting off into space. The ship groaned and shook. Joker started to stumble. Shepard raced to his side to help him.

"No! Commander, go! Get out of here! You can't die because of me, go!" Joker yelled at her.

"No, Joker. This is the way it needs to be now come on," Shepard yelled back.

He reluctantly let her pull him to the escape pod. Shepard knew that he realized resisting her would only result in both of their deaths. Shepard got him inside the shuttle next to Garrus and lowered the safety bar over his head. Her eyes lifted to meet Garrus and pain ripped through her chest when he turned away from her. She understood though, she wasn't just killing herself right now. She was killing him. Shepard stepped back out of the pod and went to the external release hatch.

"Commander? What are you doing, come on, we have to go!" Joker yelled at her.

He must have seen the look on her face through her breather helmet because he started to yank and pull at his safety bar. Garrus pinned his hands down. Joker turned to look at the turian with bewildered confusion.

"What are you doing, let go, I have to get her. What is she doing?" Joker's head spun back to look at Shepard. "What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, Joker. This is the way it has to be. I know that now," Shepard said before slamming her hand down on the external release.

Joker screamed her name as the door slid closed. Garrus met her gaze, his eyes looked hollow. The pod shot away and into space as a tear broke free and slid down Shepard's face. Shepard stood perfectly still watching as everyone else flew off into the distance. Everyone on the Normandy was either gone now, or dead except for her. The collectors beam ripped through the ship again, debris went flying around the ship, slamming into her. She remained standing until finally the ship gave way, breaking in to and Shepard was pulled out into space.

The survival instinct was too strong to resist. When the air began leaking out of her suit, Shepard couldn't help the panic that rose up inside of her. She couldn't help but to scratch and claw at the tubes connecting her helmet to her suit, trying to find the leak so she could stop it even if just for a few seconds. The buzzing in Shepard's head reached an all-time high, adding to the throbbing caused by asphyxiation before Jane suddenly broke through.

 _"_ _Dawn! Oh gods, I hate this part. I hate this part so much. Dawn I'm so sorry. It'll be over soon. Oh gods, it's like I can feel it myself. I – I – I feel like I can't breathe! What's going on why is this happening? This, oh gods, this has never happened before,"_ Jane began to panic.

Shepard couldn't think of a response, she was dying. She couldn't breathe and her consciousness was slowly fading away. But she could hear Jane louder and stronger than she ever could before. She could feel Jane's panic echoing her own. She could see Jane's memories rush before her with an ease that never existed before. Jane was Dawn and Dawn was Jane. They were one.

 _"_ _No, no, no, no. I can't. Oh gods. Oh gods. I – I – I can't breathe. Oh gods, what's happening? How can I be dying? This doesn't happen,"_ Jane's yelling was the last thing Shepard was conscious of.


	24. Chapter 1: All Wrong

Chapter 1: All Wrong

Shepard could hear herself screaming in agony, her eyes fluttered open and her voice cutoff. A far away whispering filled her mind. Metal and lights were all her blurred vision could pick up on. Her eyes fluttered again. She hurt, everything hurt. She heard people talking nearby. Where were they? Why weren't they helping her?

"She's doing it again," a man's voice said. "Should I set up the camera?"

Wait, she knew this place. She knew this feeling. She just had to think. What was this? Where was she? Who was whispering?

"Wait, something's not right. She's regaining consciousness. It's too soon," a woman's voice said.

A dark haired woman walked into Shepard's line of sight, stopping beside her. The angle of approach told Shepard she was lying down. Her eyes strained to focus on the woman.

"Damn it, Wilson hurry give her the sedative!" The woman said.

Shepard's eyes locked on to the orange and black diamond pattern on the woman's black and white jumpsuit. Cerberus. She was with Cerberus. That was good. She was supposed to be here. Why was she supposed to be here? Her eyes met the woman's face again.

"Shepard, don't try to move," the woman said putting Shepard's arm back down on the cold metal beneath her.

"Miranda?" Shepard said before drifting back off into blissful, drug-induced unconsciousness.

Someone was calling Shepard's name, dragging her out of the darkness of sleep.

 _"_ _No, no, no. We don't want to get up. Don't want to, it still hurts. We feel it this time, it still hurts. Have to get up though, we have to fight. We always have to get up and fight,"_ Jane said.

"What?" Shepard asked opening her eyes.

Her vision was still blurred and her head was swimming.

"Shepard, you have to hurry, there are mechs headed your way!" Miranda's voice came over the comm.

Shepard sat up and slid her feet over the edge of the cold metal slab. Alive. Cerberus. Miranda. Mechs. Gun in the locker there. She remembered this. Shepard stood on shaky legs, groaning at the aches she felt all over her body and started to move towards the locker.

"Arm yourself, hurry! The locker at the other side of the room!" Miranda said.

"I know," Shepard croaked.

"Well then hurry!" Miranda barked at her.

Shepard made her way to the locker and dug out a set of N7 armor locking it into place as quickly as she could. She knew it wasn't really hers and she didn't want to think about how Cerberus got their hands on it. She pulled the armor on and picked up the pistol. There were no thermal clips. She stood back from the door and waited for it to blow open before heading out of the room to scoop up ammo next to a dead man wearing Cerberus colors.

 _"_ _It still hurts, we don't like this. Oh, it still hurts. Why did you do this to us?"_ Jane said.

"Jane, what the hell are you talking about? What's wrong? Pull it together," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _We felt it all. We died again, and we felt it all and then they brought us here and they cut us open and we felt it. Oh gods, we felt it all. They cut and they cut. They put things inside of us, Dawn, oh it still hurts,"_ Jane said.

"Jane listen to me, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that you felt it all but right now we're about to have mechs shooting at us, do you remember?" Shepard thought at Jane.

 _"_ _Remember, yes, yes we remember it all. The scraping and the cutting, the drilling and the screwing,"_ Jane said.

"Fuck," Shepard thought.

She tried to quiet Jane, to push her down to nothing but the buzzing noise that she had grown so use to but she couldn't do it. Jane wouldn't go. Shepard didn't have time to deal with Jane; she could hear the mechs moving in as she vaulted over the low metal desk that someone had tried to use as a blockade. She ran into the next room to duck behind a crate. Wilson. She remembered that a man named Wilson was the one responsible for the attack. He was trying to kill her.

 _"_ _Wilson's not important. He doesn't matter. It's so loud in here, they won't be quiet. Why won't they stop?"_ Jane said.

She ducked out of cover and fired on the LOKI mechs. She could feel the remaining effects of the anesthesia wearing off. She was in pain, but damn it felt good to be alive. When the last mech fell, Shepard moved up the stairs and took the ammo that they dropped before moving on. In the next room, Shepard dove behind a low bulletproof glass wall and waited for the door to open on the other side of the room. More LOKIs moved in and she dropped them as fast as she could.

 _"_ _They just keep coming and coming, we're so tired we want it to stop. It hurts so bad, we shouldn't feel this. We shouldn't feel any of this,"_ Jane said.

Jacob, she had to get to Jacob and help him take out the mechs he was fighting. Where was Jacob? Shepard pushed forward and through a room with an observation window. She could see a man being attacked by a heavy mech on the other side but there was nothing she could do for him. Miranda's voice came back through on the comm, along with the sound of gunfire. Miranda urged her to forward before her voice cut out completely. Shepard pushed ahead and saw Jacob taking cover while firing on the LOKIs across the room from him. Shepard ran and slid into cover next to him.

"Jacob! We've got to get to Miranda. She's in trouble," Shepard said.

"Shepard? Damn, things must really be going to hell if Miranda has you up already," Jacob said.

 _"_ _He doesn't know us, doesn't remember us. He can't see us, why can't he see us?"_ Jane said.

They worked together taking out the mechs, Jacob deferred to her immediately following her orders as she directed him to use his biotics to pull the mechs into the air and fire on them.

"Listen, I'm sure you have a million questions and I'll tell you whatever you want to know after we get these mechs down. Sound fair?" Jacob asked.

"Not as many as you might think," Shepard said more to herself than to Jacob.

He raised a confused eyebrow at her but kept firing on the LOKIs.

When the last mech fell, Shepard stood up and started moving towards the door.

 _"_ _Go, go, go we need to get out of this place. This place hurts so bad. They cut us open and they pumped us full of things. They left things in side of us here, we need to go it hurts,"_ Jane said.

"Shepard?" Jacob said.

She turned to look over her shoulder; the man had bewilderment written all over his face.

"You're Jacob Taylor, former Alliance and now you work for Cerberus. My ship crashed, I was spaced. Cerberus spent the last two years and more credits than I want to know to bring me back to life. Miranda Lawson headed the Lazarus Project, tasked with only one thing. Bring me back to life. I'm here now, and Miranda is in trouble we need to get to her. Are we good?" Shepard said.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so. Did you, uh, find some files or something?" Jacob asked.

"Something like that, let's go," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Go, go, go. We want to go,"_ Jane said.

"Jane, seriously. Pull it together. I need you on this," Shepard thought.

Wilson's voice broke through Jacob's omni-tool comm. Shepard clenched her jaw but said nothing while Jacob and Wilson talked about the attack and where Wilson was located. She waited for Jacob to finish talking before moving forward. They got to the service room and Shepard was already diving for cover knowing that more mechs were in the area. Jacob yelled at Wilson through his comm, telling him to find them another way out. Shepard focused on taking down the mechs.

They moved out into the halls. Wilson screamed over the comm, saying he'd been hit. Shepard knew it was just his leg, hell he probably shot himself. She already knew that the man was the traitor and she planned on dealing with him herself. Up some stairs and through another door they found Wilson sitting behind some crates clutching his leg. Jacob went straight for Wilson to tend to his injury.

Shepard lowered her pistol at Wilson's head, "Step back Jacob."

 _"_ _Shoot him already, hurry up let's go. We don't want to be here,"_ Jane said.

"What? What are you doing? Shepard, this is Wilson he's one of ours!" Jacob said.

Wilson tried to scurry away from her, "Jacob, help me!"

"He's the traitor, Jacob. He's the reason the mechs are firing on us. He's trying to kill me. Move back, Jacob," Shepard said.

Jacob stood and took a few steps back, "Shepard? Are you sure? How do you know?"

Shepard avoided answering the questions directly, "He works for the Shadow Broker, Jacob. Take him in to custody and question him or I'm shooting him. It's your call."

Wilson glared at Shepard, "She's clearly insane, Jacob. Something must have gone wrong with the Project. Restrain her, Jacob!"

 _"_ _Insane? We're not insane. They're insane. He's insane with the cutting and the scraping. Are we insane?"_ Jane said.

"Yes! Now shut the hell up!" Shepard snapped at Jane in her thoughts.

"What were you doing down here, Wilson?" Jacob asked.

"I – I was trying to stop the mechs. I was trying to save us all but they shot me," Wilson said.

"You belong in the bio-wing, why would you have security mech clearance?" Jacob asked.

"I was trying to save us!" Wilson insisted.

"Where are the mechs that attacked you, Wilson? They just shoot you in the leg and walk away? That sound like the mechs we've been fighting so far, Jacob?" Shepard asked.

"No. No it doesn't," Jacob slowly shook his head. "Shepard's right, Wilson. Something isn't right here."

He walked over to the nearby first aid station and brought back some medi-gel for Wilson.

"Patch yourself up and get on your feet. I'm taking you to Miranda. She can figure out what's going on here," Jacob said.

Wilson did as he was told, flinching when Jacob urged him forward with a pistol in the center of his back. The door opened up across from them and Shepard shot out the tanks that were blocking the path. They exploded and wiped out the mechs. Shepard ushered them forward through the halls until they were almost at the shuttles. The room filled with LOKIs and while Shepard was focused on taking them out, Jacob took his eyes off of Wilson to help before she was overwhelmed. Wilson ran for the shuttle door and started to hack through.

"Wouldn't do that if I were you, Wilson!" Shepard yelled over her shoulder.

"I'm not getting paid – Miranda!" Wilson said as the door slid open.

 _"_ _No, no, we don't want to see her! She hurt us, that bitch cut us open from head to toe!"_ Jane said.

Miranda stuck her gun against Wilson's throat and pulled the trigger before moving into the room to help Shepard and Jacob finish off the mechs. When the LOKIs were cleared, Shepard turned and started walking towards the shuttle stepping over Wilson's body. She heard Jacob questioning Miranda about why she shot Wilson. Miranda confirmed that Wilson was the one to sabotage the mechs.

"Jane, I don't understand what's going on with you. I promise as soon as we get someplace where I can talk to you alone we'll figure this out. Miranda was doing what she had to do to bring us back to life. You remember that, it's happened before, right?" Shepard thought at Jane.

 _"_ _Not like this. Never had to feel it, to hear it oh gods,"_ Jane said.

"Shepard, where are you going?" Miranda called after her.

Shepard turned and gestured towards the shuttle, "I'm leaving. Isn't that the idea or did you want to stick around for something?"

"No, of course not. Our boss will want to see you and I need to ask you some questions to be sure that your neurocognitive functions are intact," Miranda said following her to the shuttle.

Right. Questions. Illusive Man. Freedom's Progress. Tali will be there. I remember. The sooner I can get through this the sooner I can get the ship and see Joker. Then I can go find Garrus. I need to find Garrus.

"Shoot," Shepard said.

She climbed in the shuttle and sat down. Miranda and Jacob exchanged a look, to which Jacob shrugged. They climbed in the shuttle behind her and set the course for another Cerberus location. The shuttle took off and Miranda eyed Shepard warily.

"Commander, how are you feeling?" Miranda asked.

"I'm fine. Still a little sore, but I imagine that's to be expected," Shepard said bouncing her leg impatiently.

"Shepard, you do get that you were just brought back from the dead right? I mean, I can't believe you're taking this so calmly. You don't even seem to care," Jacob said.

"Yeah, I'm aware but right now I just want to know what the progress is on the reaper invasion and if the Council is doing anything about it. I want to know where my friends are, if they're where I think they'll be or somewhere else. I want to know that they're OK. I want – gods – I want something to eat. I'm starving," Shepard said.

She turned from the window to look at Miranda who had a perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised. Jane was suddenly filled with fury and she was pouring it into Shepard. She wanted to lunge forward and rip the woman's face off. Shepard closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall.

"Let's see if I can speed this along for you: My name is Commander Dawn Shepard, I was the first human Spectre. I was born on Mindoir, my parents were killed by batarian slavers. I lost all of my men on Akuze when thresher maws attacked us," Shepard paused to drive home her point. "Well, not really all of them, Toombs lived but I didn't know that until I found him killing off the Cerberus scientists that were responsible for the attacks. They'd been running tests on him, pumping him full of thresher maw venom to see what would happen. I brought him back on the Normandy to try to help him but he slit his wrist while I was on Virmire. Guess you didn't know about all that, huh?"

Miranda and Jacob both stared at Shepard. She could tell that they were concerned with her behavior but she just didn't care. She knew that eventually they would come to trust her and she them, unless too much had changed but right now that trust hadn't been established and she didn't want to deal with this crap.

 _"_ _No, don't trust her she hurt us. She cut us open and put tubes and metal inside,"_ Jane said.

"Let's see, what else. Oh, I had to leave Kaidan Alenko to die on Virmire to ensure that the mission was a success. It broke my heart. I tried like hell to keep everyone alive on that mission but it managed to go sideways regardless. Did I miss anything? Or did you want to ask about my relationship with the turian aboard my ship as well?" Shepard asked.

Miranda leaned back and crossed her legs, "Well, this is certainly not what I was expecting, Commander but it appears that your memory at least is intact. I am not yet sure about your personality."

"I'm fine. I'm me. Just a really annoyed me who doesn't have time for this crap. What can you tell me about the war?" Shepard asked.

Jacob leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees, "Not much, really. The Council pretty much did their best to shut down talks about the reapers. Your video is still circulating in some underground areas. Support is still being rallied but after two years and no sign of an invasion, people are starting to believe that you were wrong."

"Damn it," Shepard said tapping the back of her head against the metal shuttle wall.

"Is Anderson still on the Council?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, Anderson is there with all the same folks that were there before your accident," Jacob said.

"What about Valern, has he shown any sign of going against Tevos and Sparatus?" Shepard asked.

"If he is, he isn't doing it publicly," Jacob said. "Why do you ask about the salarian?"

"Before the Normandy went down, we were engaging in talks. He was taking the threat more seriously than the others – well, aside from Anderson," Shepard said.

Miranda rummaged around in a footlocker before tossing Shepard a couple of packets of dry rations and a warm bottle of water. Shepard didn't care, it was food. She tore them open and started eating.

"Thanks," Shepard said.

"Just try to take it slowly, Commander. Your body may not be prepared to take in much just yet," Miranda said.

Shepard grunted in response but tried to slow down.

"I need a secure connection. I have people I need to contact. They need to know I'm back," Shepard said.

"We'll see about getting you everything you need after you speak with the Illusive Man," Jacob said.

"Jacob!" Miranda scolded.

"What? She already knew. I didn't tell her anything. She founds your logs or something before she found me," Jacob said.

"I see, I suppose I should have expected that, Commander. Perhaps your personality _is_ intact," Miranda said.

"You guys do know that everyone in the Alliance knows that the pretty little diamond pattern you're sporting is Cerberus' logo, right? I wouldn't have had to see anything here to know that you two are Cerberus," Shepard said.

Miranda glanced down at the pattern on her chest and Jacob absently touched the one on his. Shepard hid a wolfish grin with a swig from her water bottle. She had seen the consoles spread out through the Cerberus facility but she didn't need to access them to know what they would tell her. She already knew and so much more thanks to Jane. By the time Shepard had finished her rations and water, they were coming up on the Cerberus facility.

Shepard hopped out of the shuttle when it landed and walked in like she owned the place. She didn't care if it caused Miranda to get her panties in a twist; in fact it was a little amusing. Her eyes scanned over the area, there was only one place she could go and that was through the hall and down the stairs at the far side of the room.

"The Illusive Man is waiting to speak with you," Miranda said walking past Shepard and heading to a computer console.

Shepard made her way down the stairs and stepped inside the circle on the floor that would allow her to communicate with the Illusive Man. She waited as the holographic grid rose up into place around her. She could see into the Illusive Man's secret base. Only it wasn't as secret as he thought. Not to Jane. She studied the massive star through the windows at the back of the room and the console set up between them and the Illusive Man.

Shepard didn't give him the chance to speak, "I tried to contact you. Twice."

The Illusive Man took a long drag off of his cigarette before blowing out a thick cloud of smoke. He tapped the ashes off in an ashtray set into the armrest of his chair. Shepard could see the blue glow of the implants he had in his eyes better than she could see him. It didn't matter; she knew exactly what the smug bastard looked like.

"Yes, Commander Shepard, I received your vague messages requesting a meeting. You'll forgive me if I was hesitant to respond considering the circumstances. I did respond, however. I was just too late. You are here now," the Illusive Man said.

"I am. Two years later. Gone and wasted with the reapers on their way," Shepard said crossing her arms.

"I'm afraid I don't understand the nature of your complaint, Commander. Is it that I didn't respond to your messages sooner or that I didn't bring you back from the dead sooner?" the Illusive Man asked taking a drink from his tumbler.

"Both. Let's cut to the chase. I needed your help in dealing with the reaper threat. I'm assuming that you recognized a need for me as well or I wouldn't be standing here," Shepard said.

She had considered telling him everything she already knew but she didn't have a plausible way to explain it to him without revealing the presence of Jane. If ever there was someone not to trust with her secret, it was the man sitting in front of her. She knew what he was capable of; what Cerberus was capable of and she had no doubt that if she were to try to convince him of Jane's existence it would only land her back on that cold metal slab while Cerberus tore her apart all over again to try to find out everything they could about Jane. No, she was going to have to be very careful what she said around him and anyone else wearing Cerberus colors that she didn't already know and trust with her life. She might eventually win Jacob and Miranda over, but until that point, there was no telling how they would respond to Jane.

"Indeed, Commander," he took another excruciatingly slow drag from his cigarette before continuing, "You accomplished great things in your time. You made great strides towards securing humanity's rightful place in the galaxy and became a key figure, a symbol of the best that humanity has to offer. Humanity needs that now, Shepard. We need you at the head of this charge, even if the rest of the galaxy doesn't yet realize we are at war."

"What can you tell me about the last two years?" Shepard asked.

"Unfortunately, Commander Shepard, not a great deal has changed in your absence in regard to the reaper threat. The Council is still denying your claims despite Sovereign's attack on the Citadel. The Alliance lost a great deal that day and their primary focus has been rebuilding their fleets and establishing the new political foothold you gave humanity with a seat on the Council," he said before taking another drink.

"In the meanwhile, entire colonies of humans have been disappearing and no one seems to care enough about it to find out why. That is why humanity needs you, Commander Shepard. We believe that whoever is responsible for these missing colonies is working for the reapers," said the Illusive Man as he stood to walk closer to the projection of Shepard.

"How many have gone missing?" Shepard asked.

"Hundreds of thousands from remote locations," he said. "The reapers are targeting humanity, Commander. Perhaps because you made it clear that we are a threat."

"What have you got on the colonies that have been targeted?" Shepard asked.

The Illusive Man took a drag off of his cigarette; the smoke he exhaled swirled up around the image of Shepard scattering the light of the fine lines of the holographic grid. She fought the urge to fan away smoke that wasn't really there on her side of the communicator. The Illusive Man turned and walked back to his chair.

"I can have the full reports sent to you when you return from Freedom's Progress, Shepard. There's a shuttle waiting to take you there now. Miranda and Jacob can fill you in on the details," he said after he sat back down.

"Before I go, your man Wilson was working for the Shadow Broker. I suggest you make sure no one else on your payroll is doing the same," Shepard turned and walked out of the comm circle.

Once up the stairs, she headed straight for the doors to the shuttle hangar, "Alright, let's go."

Miranda and Jacob followed after her piling into the shuttle behind her and setting the coordinates. They took turns talking, informing Shepard that they were headed to Freedom's Progress because it was the latest location of colony abductions and they hoped to be there before anyone else. They were always the last to arrive on the scene at the previous locations, and all reports indicated that nothing was found to implicate the party responsible for the abductions. Shepard nodded her head as they spoke, trying to pretend that they were providing her with valuable information. Miranda watched Shepard in a cold and calculating way; appraising Shepard's every movement and word.

When they both grew quiet, having told Shepard everything they thought she needed to know; Shepard closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall. She schooled her features, and tried again to quiet Jane.

"Jane, please, you're making it very hard to focus. Try to pull it together. I get it, you felt terrible things and they hurt. It's got you all messed up but I need you to calm down. No one is hurting us anymore, OK?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _It's over, yes. No more cutting. Why are they being so loud?"_ Jane asked.

"They're not even talking right now Jane. Miranda and Jacob haven't said a word for like five minutes," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _No, no, no the Shepards. They're all being so loud. They're burning through my thoughts,"_ Jane said.

Shepard adjusted herself on the shuttle's bench seat, "I don't know, Jane. Maybe because it hurt them, too? Or maybe just because you're so shaken up right now?"

Jacob cleared his throat and Shepard opened her eyes, "We're uh, we're almost there, Shepard."

"Thanks, Jacob," she said turning to watch the approach.

The shuttle lowered itself onto a concrete landing zone in the middle of the colony. Shepard stepped out and let her eyes roam over the area. Her training had her drawing her pistol before she advanced forward and into the prefab connected to the landing zone. As expected, the place was empty. Plates of old, uneaten food left on the table were the only sign that the owners weren't coming back anytime soon. There were no signs of a struggle; no overturned furniture or blood splatters. Shepard moved through the building and out the back door taking the stairs down to the courtyard below the landing zone.

She moved to the large door at the far side of the courtyard and slapped her hand against the switch. When it opened she had her gun up ready to fire at the mechs she expected to be stationed across from her at the next row of buildings, but they weren't there. Shepard swung her gun around as she scanned the area. Nothing. No LOKI mechs shooting at her from the porches and no FENRIS mechs charging in to harry her team.

Shepard moved slowly and cautiously forward out onto the concrete deck and towards the stairs expecting mechs to show up at any minute. None came as she moved up the stairs and into the next building. The building was as empty as the first one, bunk beds lined the walls. She left that building and crossed over to the stairs to the next. A million thoughts flooded through Shepard's mind about what she would say to Tali when she opened that door. Would the quarian be happy to see her, even after the message that Shepard had left to be delivered after her death? Would she understand? Would she be ready to help even though she never was in Jane's memories?

Shepard opened the door and the room was empty. Tali wasn't there. She stopped in her tracks and her eyes scoured the room. Her confusion must have been evident because Miranda moved to her side.

 _"_ _No Tali, where's Tali? Tali is supposed to be here. Tali is always here, we always find her here. This is wrong. Wrong, all wrong,"_ Jane said. _"What did you do? You broke it!"_

"Commander Shepard? Are you feeling unwell? It might have been too soon to have you out on the field. I can call in for another team to come and finish things here. We should get you to a lab and checked out," Miranda said.

"No, I'm fine," Shepard went with the first lame excuse her mind threw at her, "I just uh, remembered something unpleasant. This place reminds me of somewhere else. I don't really want to talk about it."

"You're sure?" Miranda asked.

"Yeah, let's keep moving," Shepard said.

She moved through the back and down a set of stairs to a lower landing. The next building was as empty as all of the others. Still no sign of mechs or Tali. Something was very wrong. Shepard looked around, still expecting to see drones flying down to attack them as they made their way across the walkways to the next building but there were no drones either. Empty building after empty building, Shepard pushed her team forward. When they reached the garage door, memories of the door opening to reveal the group of quarians that had escorted Tali being slaughtered by an YMIR mech filled her mind. When she opened the door, the area was quiet.

Inactive mechs stood in neat rows, the LOKIs curled down to save space sat lined up next to the FENRIS. An YMIR stood behind them. Shepard made her way through the rest of the rooms just to be safe before heading in to the security room where she would normally find Veetor. The terrified quarian wasn't there.

 _"_ _No Veetor. Did the collectors take Veetor, too? We liked Veetor. Where's Veetor?"_ Jane asked.

Shepard moved over to the security systems, "I think we might be able to find something here. It looks like there are cameras set up all over the colony."

She began digging through the footage hoping to see some sign of Tali and her men or even of Veetor but she found only footage of human colonists and then the collector's attack. Shepard sat back in the chair at the desk and watched as the collector's swarms paralyzed the colonists before the collectors came and put them in floating coffin-like pods to take them back to their ship. She froze the frame on a collector and stood up from the chair.

"My God, I think that's a collector!" Miranda said.

 _"_ _The collectors. The collectors took Veetor, too. They're gonna turn him into a reaper with all the rest,"_ Jane said.

"No, Jane, I don't think that's what happened. The collector swarms only target humans before, remember?" Shepard said.

 _"_ _Changing, changing everything. The collectors took Veetor. They're going to make a reaper that looks just like the quarians next. Maybe they took Tali and Prazza and the others too,"_ Jane said.

"That it is, that's our target," Shepard said trying to block Jane out.

"One of you pull that feed, I'm sure your boss will want to see it," Shepard said.

Jacob moved to do as she ordered, moving it to an OSD.

"We have what we came for, let's get out of here," Shepard said.

They way back to the shuttle was just as eerily uneventful as it was to the security room. Shepard was trying desperately not to worry over Tali not being here. She had changed a lot of things before she died, so it was easy to see that Tali might be somewhere else this time but that didn't explain why Veetor wasn't here. He was always here. Did she cause something to happen to the young quarian by changing the events of the past? There was no way Jane was right. It couldn't be the collectors.

Shepard stayed mostly quiet on the ride back to the Cerberus facility while Jacob and Miranda speculated on what the collectors could want with human colonists. The grim reality was so much worse than either of them suspected. When they got there, Shepard went straight down to talk to the Illusive Man again.

"Shepard, good work. Miranda has already forwarded me the video surveillance. It confirms my suspicions that the collectors were behind the attacks," the Illusive Man said stubbing out a cigarette in his ashtray.

"What do you know about the collectors?" Shepard asked.

"Little is known on their species, they tend to stay to themselves only periodically traveling into the Terminus Systems to exchange technology for living specimens. It isn't known what they want them for, but when their transactions are complete they leave again through the Omega 4 Relay," the Illusive Man said.

"By specimens I assume you mean living, breathing people," Shepard said.

"Let's not mince words here, Shepard. The important thing is that we now know with certainty who is behind the abductions and now we can work towards stopping them," he said.

Shepard shrugged, "What are we doing standing around talking then?"

"Very well, Commander. You'll be given dossiers on several people who have been chosen for this mission based on their specific skills and qualifications. The salarian scientist, Mordin Solus, in particular could prove useful in counteracting the collector's swarms. As more information arises, you will be notified. Be ready," the Illusive Man said.

"I've prepared a ship for you and hired a pilot, it's someone you know. I hear he's one of the best," he said tapping a button on a small holoscreen.

Shepard was already turning away from the Illusive Man to see Joker walking down the stairs. The comm's hologram closed itself as she took a hesitant step forward. Joker came to a stop in front of her. He looked cross with her; she could see the hurt in his eyes. She had sentenced herself to death right in front of him, after all.

"Joker, I –," Shepard's apology was cut off when Joker held up a hand.

"I need proof, Shepard," Joker said.

Shepard gave him a half grin, "Good. What's it going to take? You want me to recount some of our conversations in the cockpit? Tell you about how you teased me about Garrus?"

Joker crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.

"Want me to tell you how I sent you to save the Citadel from Sovereign because you're the best damn pilot there is and the Alliance needed you to lead their fleets?" Shepard continued.

She saw the corner of his mouth twitch. That was a good sign.

"Do I need to tell you how horrible of a person I am for those last moments, or can I just hug you now? Please?" Shepard asked.

Joker made a big show of sighing and rolling his eyes before he pushed himself away from the wall and opened his arms.

"You with your touching. C'mere. Be gentle," Joker said.

Shepard stepped into his embrace and gave him a gentle squeeze.

"I got your video, Commander. We all did. Thought you must be crazy but then when Cerberus got in contact with me and told me they had you… I had to come. Doesn't mean I forgive you, though," Joker spoke softly next to her ear.

"I know. I'm sorry, Joker. It had to be done," Shepard said.

Joker stepped back from her but left a hand on her shoulder, reminiscent of old times when she would visit with him on the Normandy.

"Come on, come check out my new baby," Joker said.

Shepard let Joker lead her to where the new Normandy was docked, smiling as he gushed over the ship. Finally Joker looked at her expression and sighed.

"But of course you already knew, didn't you?" Joker asked.

Shepard nodded, "Probably best we don't talk about that much where Cerberus ears might be listening."

"Right, that makes sense. Sorry, Commander. So the uh…," Joker trailed off gesturing towards his head.

Shepard nodded.

"So weird. Alright, she needs a name, Commander," Joker said turning back to the ship.

"We'll call her the Normandy, if that's alright with you?" Shepard said.

"Perfect, Commander," Joker said.


	25. Chapter 2: Dead Men Can't Fight Wars

Chapter 2: Dead Men Can't Fight Wars

Shepard had gone straight to the galaxy map and input the coordinates for the Omega station the second Jacob and Miranda left her alone. They were already on their way. With Tali's absence on Freedom's Progress, Shepard was afraid to open her laptop to look over the dossiers. She was terrified the name 'Archangel' wouldn't be on the list. Shepard eased herself into the seat next to Joker. The co-pilot's chair wasn't as close to the pilot's seat as it was on the old Normandy. She had to admit, these seats were a lot more comfortable. Joker was on to something with that one.

Joker glanced over at Shepard. She knew he had to have a ton of questions but was keeping them to himself for the time being. She'd have to get him off the ship when they landed somewhere safe enough for him to walk around. She wasn't going to be able to answer his questions on the Normandy.

"EDI?" Shepard said glancing over at EDI's access node.

"Yes, Commander Shepard?" EDI's blue hologram sprang to life.

"EDI, how many bugs has Cerberus placed in the cockpit?" Shepard asked.

"I have a block that prevents me from answering that question," EDI said as the vertical iris turned red.

"Of course you do, EDI. What can you tell me?" Shepard asked.

There was a long moment of silence and Shepard turned in her seat to better look at the blue hologram.

"EDI?" Shepard asked.

Shepard's omni-tool beeped; when she opened it a message flashed across the screen briefly:

 **01010100 01101000 01100001 01101110 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101**

Shepard smiled.

"Do you have a more specific question, Commander Shepard?" EDI asked.

"Not right now, EDI. Thank you," Shepard said.

"Logging you out, Shepard," EDI said before the hologram disappeared.

"What was that all about?" Joker asked.

"We'll talk about it later," Shepard said.

"Riiigght," Joker said.

"So, where is everybody, Joker? Were you able to keep in touch with anyone?" Shepard asked.

"And by anyone you mean your boy toy," Joker said glancing at her.

"I mean everyone," Shepard said.

A long minute passed in silence as Joker let her question hang in the air.

"Joker?" Shepard said the growing alarm evident in her voice.

"Are you sure you want to talk about this right now, Commander? Maybe somewhere with at least some semblance of privacy would be better?" Joker said.

Shepard's heart started to pound in her chest, "No, Joker. Tell me now. What happened? Did something happen to Garrus? Tali? Tali wasn't where I thought she'd be. What happened?"

"Garrus and Tali are both fine last I heard," Joker said.

"But?" Shepard demanded.

"There were… a few losses. One of the escape pods got hit with the beam on its way out," Joker watched Shepard closely as he chose his next words. "I'm sorry, Commander but Liara, Ashley, and Dr. Tulina were all in that pod along with some of the crew."

"Oh gods. No. No this wasn't supposed to happen," Shepard's voice started to rise. "You're wrong, you have to be wrong!"

"Commander Shepard, biometric scans indicate that your heart rate is reaching excessively high levels. I have orders to contact Operator Lawson and Dr. Chakwas in such an event," EDI said.

"Commander, you need to calm down," Joker said.

Shepard couldn't calm down though. Not with Jane's horror amplifying her own. She was trying to push it all down the way she had so many other times before Jane came into her life but she couldn't seem to get a hold on her emotions enough to lock them away. She couldn't breathe; she wasn't getting any air. She felt like she was lost in space, dying all over again. She wanted to shoot something, hit something, tear something apart – but there was no one to blame but herself. Miranda tore through the CIC and ran into the cockpit. Dr. Chakwas wasn't very far behind her.

"Commander? Commander can you hear me?" Miranda was in Shepard's face trying to get her attention.

Jane snarled and Shepard echoed the sentiment aloud.

Dr. Chakwas came in and with one look assessed the situation, "I wouldn't recommend touching her right now. Joker, what happened?"

"I – She asked about the Normandy team. I – I had to tell her," Joker said.

Miranda wheeled around to face Joker, "You idiot! How could you possibly think that it was a good idea to tell her that now? She's not even supposed to be out of that bed yet for God's sake!"

Shepard's hand flew out and clamped on to Miranda's wrist; her nails longer than she usually kept them dug into the leather of her jumpsuit hard enough to make Miranda flinch, "Don't you talk to him like that!"

Miranda turned back to Shepard and crouched in front of her, gently prying her fingers loose, "Commander, I understand you must be devastated. You are still in the healing process, however, and you are putting an excessive amount of stress on your heart. The implants aren't fully integrated yet, you are risking an overload. If you can't calm yourself down, I will have to sedate you."

 _"_ _No! No more sedatives. No more cutting and drilling,"_ Jane yelled inside Shepard's head.

"Yeah… you've got about four seconds before she breaks your nose," Joker said watching as Shepard's hand closed into a fist.

"Miranda, if you'll allow me? I believe that the Commander might respond best to a familiar face right now," Dr. Chakwas said nudging the younger woman out of her way.

Miranda stepped back to let Dr. Chakwas lean down in front of Shepard. Shepard's eyes locked on to the doctor's. Dr. Chakwas' eyes were so filled with sympathy and sorrow that it made Shepard feel a little worse for a moment.

"That's good, yes, look at me, Commander," Dr. Chakwas said. "Breathe with me, Commander."

Dr. Chakwas started taking slow deep breaths for Shepard to emulate. It took her a few seconds to latch on to the pattern and start to mimic it but before long Shepard's breathing had returned to normal and her heart rate was dropping. Her hands were shaking and jaw stayed clenched tight. Miranda was satisfied enough to turn and leave the cockpit, but not before glaring at Joker one last time.

"This wasn't supposed to happen," Shepard whispered to Dr. Chakwas. "They were supposed to live. Liara… so much depended on her."

"I know, Commander. We all feel their loss. Dr. Tulina was a very dear friend of mine and it breaks my heart every day to know that I will never see her face again. I know that you were close to Ashley and Liara, maybe even Dr. Tulina, too," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard nodded her head in agreement, "I'm so sorry, Dr. Chakwas. For Dr. Tulina, I mean. I know you two were more than friends."

Dr. Chakwas winced, "Yes, Commander, we were."

Shepard pulled Dr. Chakwas into an embrace and squeezed her tightly. When Dr. Chakwas pulled away she ran a motherly hand down the side of Shepard's head, smoothing down her hair. Tears glistened in the doctor's eyes as she turned to walk away.

Shepard sat quietly watching the stars before standing and putting a hand on Joker's shoulder, "Screw Miranda. Thanks for being honest with me, Joker."

"Sure, Commander. Anytime," Joker said.

Shepard delayed looking at the dossiers, now even more afraid of what she might find – or not find, for that matter. Instead she made her way around the ship introducing herself to the crew. She was finding it increasingly difficult to remember that she couldn't just address people like she had known them for years, even though all of those memories were there. It was also growing increasingly awkward for her to realize just how many people her past selves had slept with on this ship and the last.

"Commander Shepard, I understand that you just received some unpleasant news about the loss of some of your former crew. I want you to know that I am here if you decide you want to talk about it," Yeoman Kelly Chambers told Shepard.

Shepard ran a hand over her face in an attempt to vanish the images of Kelly dancing provocatively dressed in a skin tight, revealing outfit.

"I'm sorry, what was that? I guess I'm a little distracted right now," Shepard said.

Kelly smiled at Shepard, a smile Shepard remembered well. The woman was flirting with her. Another time, another place and Shepard would probably have led Kelly to her cabin. Right now there were more pressing concerns stomping down any thoughts of a fling with her Yeoman.

"I was just saying that I'm here if you ever need to talk. I have a degree in psychology, it's my secondary role here aboard the Normandy," Kelly said.

"Ah, well thanks, Kelly. I'll keep that in mind," Shepard said.

"Kelly? So informal! I like it," Kelly said with a grin.

"Right, yeah. I, uh, I tend to keep things more informal with my crew during down time. I should go. It was nice meeting you, Kelly," Shepard said backing away from the other woman.

"The pleasure was all mine, Shepard!" Kelly called after her.

Shepard retreated to the elevator and took it up to her cabin. She walked into the empty room and slowly eased into the desk chair. Tentatively running her hands over the closed laptop, she took a deep breath before opening the lid. The light blinked at her letting her know that she had new messages. She opened the dossiers and skimmed through the names until her eyes found 'Archangel'. Shepard released the breath she had been holding and ran a hand through her hair.

"EDI?" Shepard called out towards the AI node in her cabin.

The blue hologram sprung to life, "Yes, Shepard?"

"How long until we get to Omega?" Shepard asked.

"ETA to Omega one hour," EDI said.

"Thanks, EDI," said Shepard.

She opened her messages and ignoring the inbox she opened a new message and entered Kirrahe's old address. She didn't know if he was still using the same address or not, but it was worth a try. She made the message short and simple: Kirrahe, 'shadow team' here. I'm back in the game. Can't explain things here. I've got some business to take care of on Omega. After that I'll be headed to the Citadel. Meet me there if you can. Shepard.

Shepard opened another message: Tali, I'm back. I'll be on the Citadel soon. I would love to see you. This connection is not secure. Shepard.

Another message read: Wrex. I'm alive. Unsecured connection. Message me when you get this. Shepard.

The final message she sent said only: Garrus, she wasn't wrong. Dawn.

She didn't need to warn him that it was an unsecured connection, that Cerberus was probably reading everything she wrote. He would know. She wanted to tell him that she loved him and missed him, but she couldn't know how he felt about her after everything she'd put him through. Two years was a long time. Maybe this time he had found someone new. It would hurt, but she wouldn't deny him that. She'd give him whatever chance at happiness she could. Even if it was without her.

It crushed her that she wasn't sending out another message to Ashley and Liara. How had this happened? If Liara died, was the Alliance able to recover the plans for the Crucible? How the hell had Cerberus gotten their hands on her body? Every other time Liara had gone up against the Shadow Broker's men to get Shepard's body and take it to Cerberus. Had Cerberus sent someone else? Miranda maybe?

Shepard read through all of the dossiers that the Illusive Man had sent her so far. They all looked the same as far as she could remember. She went back to her inbox and opened the message from Anderson requesting that she meet him on the Citadel and explain herself to him. She'd go there right after Omega. Omega couldn't wait. Not if Garrus was there, and definitely not while he could be in trouble. She supposed getting Mordin as soon as possible was a pretty good idea, too. It might help to have Mordin with her if Kirrahe met her on the Citadel anyway. She remembered that the two of them knew each other.

Shepard knew that she was still being watched, even if EDI's hologram wasn't active. She wasn't sure how much EDI would tell the Illusive Man considering the familiarity and hopefully trust that she had established with the AI prior to her being taken in by Cerberus. She wasn't willing to risk it though. Instead of staring off into space to talk to Jane, Shepard opted to at least pretend to meditate. Whatever had happened when she was dying, things had changed and she could hear Jane now better than ever; she didn't need to meditate. Unfortunately all she was hearing from Jane now was ten shades of crazy.

Shepard went down the stairs to sit on the floor in front of her bed and closed her eyes. She took a few deep breaths for effect.

"Alright Jane, talk to me, what's going on?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _We don't understand what's happened,"_ Jane said.

"What was it like before?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _Just quiet. Trapped inside with no one to hear us and it was just us. Not this time, this time we felt it all. We felt you die like we were dying and we felt them cut and drill and scrape and oh gods it hurt,"_ Jane said.

"So, you're feeling things that I'm feeling now? Like physically, not just thoughts and emotions?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _Feel. Yes. I haven't felt anything in so long and then I felt death again. And pain; torture. They tortured us. They hear us screaming in agony and they just kept cutting,"_ Jane said.

"Wait, who heard you screaming?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _Miranda, Wilson, the nurses. They just gave you more and more drugs, tried to quiet us. Laughed and joked. Recorded us screaming and begging them to stop,"_ Jane said.

Shepard shifted, "Jane… you were screaming out loud, using my voice? They recorded it?"

 _"_ _Yes, we couldn't see them but we heard them. Recordings and logs, saved it all in files and sent them away to the Illusive Man,"_ Jane said.

"Did you speak too? Did you say anything?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _We… we don't know, it just hurt so bad. They cut us open all over, our head and our legs and our chest… they put things inside of us and screwed them in place and the pushed bones and organs aside. Cut broken ones out and put new ones in. It hurt so bad,"_ Jane said.

"What about before Cerberus started to put me back together, what happened to you then? When I was… dead?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _I don't remember. Why can't I remember? We always remember?"_ Jane started to sound panicked again.

"Alright, hey, it's OK Jane. I don't know exactly why this time was so different, but everything has been different this time, right? I mean, I can hear you and we've been changing all kinds of things, right?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _Changing… yes everything is changing. We don't like the changes. Make them stop,"_ Jane said.

"But Jane, you wanted things to change, remember? You said we needed to change things to stop the cycle. You still want the cycle to stop, right?" asked Shepard.

 _"_ _We didn't know it would be like this,"_ Jane said. _"I don't want to feel, I just want to rest. I'm so tired."_

"Jane, I don't have any way to fix what's already happened. We have to keep moving forward. We have to stop this cycle, not just for us but for whatever it is doing to the rest of the universe. We can't keep letting people die at the hands of the reapers," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Ashley and Liara. Your Dr. Tulina, they are dead this time. That was at our hands, we made a choice, we changed things and they died. It's not making things better,"_ Jane said.

Shepard broke her meditation ruse and rubbed her hands over her face. She took a deep breath and leaned back against the foot of her bed.

"I know. Gods, I know," Shepard thought.

Shepard knew they had to be coming up on Omega soon. She stood up from the floor and stretched before heading to her own private bathroom. That was one of her favorite things about the new Normandy. Shepard relieved herself and then went to the sink to wash her hands. She didn't look in the mirror. Jane's memories were enough to keep her from wanting to see the glowing, angry scars all over her face. It was bad enough seeing them on the rest of her body. She found a hairbrush and ran it through her hair before pulling it back with an elastic band. It had been so long since her hair had been this long that it took her three tries to get the hair tie securely in place. She paused to look at her nails debating on whether she should cut them before she left the ship. She spent five minutes looking around for a pair of nail clippers and not finding any; she brought her nails to her teeth and began tearing the nails off the old fashioned way.

Fully armored with guns ready, Shepard went back down to the CIC. She hovered around the cockpit watching as they docked with Omega. Miranda and Jacob showed up behind her just as the docking was finished. They headed to the airlock and stepped out onto Omega.

Shepard kept walking past the salarian when he walked up to greet her team and stopped in front of the batarian who was behind him instead. The salarian looked crestfallen as she passed but when he saw the batarian behind him he scurried away.

"Welcome to Omega… Shepard," the batarian said.

Normally, this would be where she engaged the batarian asking him how he knew who she was but she already knew and wasn't in the mood to play games.

"I'm not here to cause trouble for Omega, or Aria. I just need to see some people," Shepard said.

"Aria is cautious, especially when dead Spectres who like to blow things up show up on her door step. Get to Afterlife and speak with her. Now," the batarian said.

Shepard walked past the batarian without further comment. EDI's voice came in over the comm telling them what her scans had pulled up on Mordin. The area Mordin ran his clinic was under quarantine. It looked like the collector plague on Omega hadn't changed, at least. Shepard paused near the main entrance to Omega when EDI informed her of Archangel.

"There have been no new reports about Archangel in the last two standard weeks. The last reported location for Archangel was in the Tuhi District," EDI said.

"Tuhi?" Shepard repeated.

"Yes," EDI responded.

That wasn't right. That's not where he normally was, but could she really be surprised considering her warning? She hadn't given him many details, but it was enough to change his course of action. What was in the Tuhi district? Shepard had been all over Omega through Jane's memories but she never learned the district names, aside from the Kima District where she normally found Garrus.

"Is there a problem, Commander?" Miranda asked.

"I'm not familiar with the area," Shepard said.

"I'm sure we can find someone to point us in the right direction," Jacob said.

"Shepard, over there. I believe that is Zaeed Massani. His name was on the list of dossiers," Miranda said.

"Yeah, I see him," she said starting forward again.

Shepard watched as Zaeed beat on the batarian prisoner in front of him.

She cleared her throat, "Is that really necessary?"

"Please, help me," the batarian said rolling his four eyes up to look at her from the ground.

"Who goddamn asked you?" Zaeed said over his shoulder.

She raised an eyebrow and waited for the man to turn around. When he did, recognition pulled at the scared up features of his face. She didn't remember him recognizing her before. This was different.

"Well if it isn't the goddamn savior of the Citadel? Back from the dead as I hear it – and working for Cerberus. This ought to be interesting," Zaeed said.

Shepard's eyebrow twitched, "Do you have everything you need? The Normandy is docked just outside."

With Zaeed distracted, the batarian got up and started running towards the docks. Zaeed lifted his gun and shot him in the back.

"Damn. I was going to get my 'bring 'em in alive' rates. I better turn him in, I'll meet you back at your ship and we can discuss terms," Zaeed said.

"Alright. We might be here for a little while. I've got a couple more people to find and pick up here," Shepard said.

"I'm getting paid either way, sweetheart, take your time," Zaeed said.

"Don't call me sweetheart," Shepard said crossing her arms.

Zaeed chuckled and walked away to drag the dead batarian back to whoever hired him. Shepard made her way to the entrance and went straight across to the stairs of Afterlife. The loud music could be heard outside as one of the batarians manning the door ushered her inside. The door opened up to a dark hallway with a soft red lighting. Video screens lined the walls showing flames dancing and flickering around. Jane shifted around nervously in the back of Shepard's mind.

As she moved past, a batarian stood up from a couch to challenge Shepard, "What are you looking at?"

Shepard drew her pistol and pointed it at the man while his friends brought their rifles up to point at her and her team.

"A few more dead batarians if you don't sit the fuck back down, I don't have time for this," Shepard said.

Jacob had his pistol drawn behind her and so did Miranda. Miranda was already pulling up a blue biotic glow around her. The batarian held his hands out to signal his men to lower their weapons. Shepard started walking again. She could feel their eyes following her but they didn't make a move. Jacob and Miranda were slow to leave the confrontation, following her with glances thrown back over their shoulders.

She walked through another door and into the main part of the club. The lighting wasn't any better in this area, but the music was much louder. She followed the floor as it curved around the dancer's stage in the center of the room and headed for the stairs at the back. Shepard waited with a bored affect while all of Aria's goons pointed guns at her and her team pointed guns at the goons.

"Can we move this along, I have things to do," Shepard said.

They put their weapons away and the batarian in front of her opened his omni-tool for a scan. Shepard saw an opportunity to get an answer to a question and licked her lips.

"You're obviously not looking for weapons. So, what bugs?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _Bugs? Did they bug us? Are they listening to us? Can they hear me?"_ Jane asked frantically.

"Jane, how – no, they can't hear you," Shepard thought.

"Among other things," Aria replied over her shoulder.

"They're clear," the batarian said.

Good, so Cerberus hadn't bugged her armor or gear. That made her life easier. The asari still hadn't turned to actually look at Shepard. It would have ruined her aloof badass reputation to have shown interest. Aria T'Loak was kind of a badass, Shepard knew but she wasn't quite as rough around the edges as she liked people to think. Aria finally turned to face Shepard as Shepard climbed the last few steps to stand in front of her.

Aria eyed Shepard, sizing her up. Shepard already knew exactly what Aria was capable of; she'd seen her in action at least a thousand times. The asari was definitely ferocious and ruthless when her position was threatened, and a damn powerful biotic.

"I'm looking for a couple of people here on Omega. Maybe you can help me find them?" Shepard said.

"And why would I do that?" Aria asked.

Shepard shifted her weight, her hip cocked she crossed her arms over her chest and smirked, "Pretty please?"

Aria scoffed, "Please, Shepard, if that worked on me I would have lost Omega ages ago. Still, you are amusing if nothing else and I'm bored," Aria sat down in the middle of her couch and gestured for Shepard to have a seat. "Garka, go and get me a drink. Shepard, what will you have?"

"I'm alright, thanks," Shepard said.

"Bring Shepard some fruity human thing," Aria said to Garka.

The batarian that scanned Shepard left as she sat down. Miranda started to step forward to sit with Shepard and the turian who had a gun in Shepard's face a moment ago blocked her path and shook his head. Shepard suppressed a grin as Miranda's jaw clenched. She held up a hand towards Jacob and Miranda before they decided to do something stupid. Jacob nodded to Shepard and stood at parade rest. Miranda took a step back next to Jacob and stood with her arms crossed, glaring at the turian.

"Tell me what you want, Shepard, and if it amuses me enough I might answer," Aria said.

"I'm looking for a man that goes by the name Archangel; Omega is his last known location. A salarian, Dr. Mordin Solus, as well," Shepard said.

"What do you want with Archangel and Mordin?" Aria asked with a raised brow.

Garka retuned with a tray and held it down to Aria. Aria took her drink and sipped it, keeping her eyes on Shepard. Garka moved over to Shepard and bent to offer her the frozen blue drink complete with sliced fruit rimming the edges. Shepard smirked and took the drink. Garka walked a few feet away to resume his post. Aria watched Shepard expectantly until she brought the drink to her lips. It was sickeningly sweet and tasted like rainbow sherbet. Aria seemed satisfied so Shepard continued to hold the icy glass.

"I need their particular skill set for a mission," Shepard said.

"Would this be another of your 'the reapers are coming' missions, Shepard?" Aria all but rolled her eyes.

 _"_ _The reapers are coming. The reapers are already here. The reapers are always here,"_ Jane said.

"Yes," Shepard said simply.

"I see. Well, I tell you what Shepard, I don't give information out freely. Perhaps I'll be more inclined to answer your questions if you agree to do me a little favor," Aria said.

"What's the favor?" Shepard asked.

"You know that saying you humans have? 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me?' Well, I don't feel shame, Shepard. I have recently been given information that tells me one of my best men is stepping outside the lines – again," Aria said.

Shepard noticed that her guards shifted around nervously. She doubted the motion was lost on Aria.

"OK?" Shepard said.

"He's right over there, down those stairs," Aria said nodding her head. "I want you to go kill him." Aria said.

"You're serious?" Shepard gawked; she had not been expecting this.

"Quite," Aria said.

"And if I say no?" Shepard asked.

Aria laughed, "People who tell me 'no' tend not to live long enough to understand their mistake."

"I'm not a damned hit man, Aria," Shepard said.

Aria twirled her glass around in her hand, staring at the purple liquid inside, "Aren't you, though, Shepard? The Alliance, the Council they've both paid you to kill. How is this any different, really? Would you prefer credits to getting your questions answered?"

"Why me?" Shepard asked instead of rising to the bait.

"Why not you, Shepard? You're here, you're capable, and you want something from me in exchange," Aria said. "He's batarian, if that helps at all. I know you have history with batarians."

"What did he do?" Shepard asked.

"That's my concern not yours. Now, do we have a deal or not?" Aria raised an eyebrow.

"Fine," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Can't just kill him. He's done nothing. Can we? We've never killed Anto, why are we killing Anto?"_ Jane said.

She did not need Aria as an enemy, not right now. Shepard knew who she was referring to, his name was Anto. He was one of Aria's most trusted people, Shepard had talked to him a time or two and he would normally take part in the charge to recover Omega from Cerberus later on.

"Good," Aria said with a wicked grin.

Shepard stood up and moved past the guards who hurried out of her way. Jacob and Miranda stepped aside. Jacob looked concerned, but Miranda only seemed to be evaluating Shepard's actions. She drew her pistol and stood at the top of the staircase. Anto turned to look at Shepard and she but a bullet between his eyes. It was a quick death, the only mercy she could afford to show the man. She holstered her weapon and went to sit back down. It was obvious that Shepard was pissed, and Aria seemed greatly amused by both displays.

"Mordin is in the quarantine area, there's a plague down there. You should be fine, though, it apparently doesn't affect humans. The turian, Archangel, was last seen in the Tuhi district," Aria said.

"That's it? I need more on Archangel, you didn't tell me anything I couldn't get anywhere else!" Shepard said.

Aria smirked, "Yet I did tell you where to find them. Do you have more questions, Shepard? I'm sure I could find something else for you to do around here in lieu of payment. I doubt you'd do well as a dancer with all of those scars; your pretty little friend over there maybe. I could use another guard, however, seeing as you just shot one of them."

Shepard grit her teeth. Aria had never been this big of a pain in her ass before. What the hell had happened to sour the asari's disposition so much? Miranda scoffed at the suggestion and turned her glare to Aria. She paid Miranda no mind.

Aria tutted, "Come on now, Shepard, don't look at me like that. I tell you what; I'll even have Terrel show you around so you can run your little errands."

Shepard stood up and clenched her fist. Aria watched her with smug amusement. Shepard turned without further comment and walked down the staircase opposite of Anto's corpse. The turian followed behind Miranda and Jacob.

"Garka, get rid of that mess," Aria ordered.

Terrel took point once they were out of Aria's office. Shepard let him lead her team to the quarantined slums even though she knew exactly where it was.

"She always that pleasant?" Shepard asked.

The barefaced Turian looked back at Shepard over his shoulder, "Only over the last few months or so."

Shepard grunted in response. Jacob had a deeply furrowed brow as she silently followed along. Shepard watched him watching her out of the corner of his eye.

"Is there a problem, Jacob?" she asked.

"No, ma'am. I'm sure you did what had to be done," Jacob said.

"Ah, you're upset that I killed for Aria," Shepard said.

"Aria put Shepard in a tight position, Jacob. This is Omega; it's the way things work here. If Shepard had refused, we would be fighting our way off of this station. We can't afford such distractions right now," Miranda said.

"Yeah. Maybe you're right," said Jacob.

"Of course I'm right," Miranda said and the subject was dropped.

Terrel stopped in front of the turian guarding the quarantine zone and told him Aria was sending Shepard in. The other turian nodded in understanding before he resumed an argument he was having with a human woman who wanted access to her home in the quarantine zone.

"I'll wait here for you, I'm not immune and Aria didn't say I had to follow you in," Terrel said.

Shepard nodded and left Terrel to enter the quarantine zone. They fought their way through Blue Suns and Blood Pack mercs. Shepard was not keen on the idea of dealing with charging krogan without a krogan of her own to throw into the fray, and the vorcha were far too fond of rocket launchers and flame throwers for her taste. Still, the fights were matching up to Jane's memories so, so far so good. The Cerberus upgrades she had been given where helping to keep her on her feet. She found the biotic Reave to be incredibly useful.

Shepard ignored the doors that she knew would lead to corpses, victims of the plague and pressed forward. When she stopped to talk to a sick batarian, Miranda crossed her arms and smirked.

"Feeling guilty, Commander?" Miranda asked.

"What, because he's batarian I can't stop to help him without it having to do with my earlier actions? How very Cerberus of you, Miranda," Shepard threw back over her shoulder.

The sick batarian tried weakly to shove Shepard away, ranting about humans being the cause of the plague. Jacob knelt down beside Shepard to help subdue the delirious batarian.

"Listen, I'm trying to help," Shepard said. "I know this won't fix the plague but it'll help ease your pain and take the fever down."

 _"_ _Trying to help and it's all going wrong,"_ Jane said.

The batarian finally gave up on fighting and Shepard dosed him with medi-gel. When he was a little more clear-headed she helped him to his feet. He thanked her and told her where to find Mordin's clinic when Miranda asked. Shepard promised to send someone to help him when she got to the doctor. She remembered that a couple had locked themselves in their home nearby, but didn't stop to help them this time. If she hurried, the cure would be disseminated throughout Omega and things would settle down. They'd be safe enough where they were for now. She hoped. Another apartment would have looters, she was being selfish, she knew but she wanted to get Mordin and find Garrus. She only stopped to help the batarian because without intervention he might not make it that long.

She followed the halls along until she found the staircase that led down to Mordin's clinic. When she caught sight of the first people in the clinic, they put their guns away. Shepard wove through the crowd of sick people and entered the back of the clinic. She could hear Mordin talking to an assistant before she could see him. The sound of the salarian's voice brought a smile to her lips. It was one thing to hear his rapid fire speech through Jane's memories but another to hear it for herself.

Shepard rounded a corner and walked up to the salarian working on a turian patient. She glanced at his human female assistant before speaking.

"Mordin?" Shepard said.

The older salarian examined Shepard with shrewd eyes before opening his omni-tool and pressing a few buttons.

"My name is Commander Shepard. Many of you might recognize me as the first human Spectre. I'm recording this video today in the hopes that my message won't fall on deaf ears. As we stand today, the galaxy is facing an approaching threat that we are not yet ready to defend against…," Shepard recognized her own voice before Mordin stopped the recording.

"Ah. Yes. Thought that was you. Not dead, I see," Mordin said as he ran his omni-tool in front of Shepard. "Cybernetic implants. Experimental technology. Fascinating."

"Sent by the Council? No, Spectre not needed for simple task. Alliance? No, Alliance unlikely to know where to find me. Companions wear Cerberus insignia. Could it be?" Mordin continued.

Shepard held up a hand to stop him, "Wait, were you expecting someone to come for you?"

"Seemed like plausible course of action. Collectors abducting human colonies. Since your video, have stayed apprised of developing situation. Plausibility someone would come eventually. Have many skills, much knowledge to aid in fight," Mordin paused to take in a deep breath through his nose. "Did not expect it to be you."

"So, if you know about the collectors and the abductions and thought you could help, why didn't you go to the Council or something?" Shepard asked.

"Sent message. Received automated response. Will likely take months before proper response. Work here very important. Couldn't just leave. Believe plague also caused by collectors. Needed to make cure," Mordin said.

"Is your cure ready? We could really use your help," Jacob said.

"Yes. Must be distributed through environmental control center. Vorcha –," Mordin was cut off by Shepard.

"We'll take care of it. Will you join us?" Shepard asked.

"Interesting, Cerberus seeking salarian aid. Ultimate threat not to humans alone. Will join you, stop collectors," Mordin said. "Cure plague first."

The lights in the clinic went dark and the sound of a generator powering down echoed through the now still ventilation system. Mordin looked up and around before opening his omni-tool.

"What the hell was that?" Jacob asked.

"Environmental systems," Shepard responded without thought. "Give us the cure, Mordin. We'll get things turned back on and the cure dispersed."

"Correct. Will meet heavy vorcha resistance. Will need to kill them," Mordin checked the thermal clip before handing her a gun and the cure.

Shepard paused expecting Mordin to ask her to also look for his assistant, Daniel, but he didn't say anything else. He didn't even explain that the M-6 Carnifex Hand Cannon was his sign of good faith or that he had taken it from the Blue Suns like he usually did. Mordin turned away and resumed working on the turian patient.

 _"_ _No Daniel? Why is there no Daniel? There's always a Daniel,"_ Jane said.

"Alright, let's get going," Shepard said turning towards the door, "Oh, there's a sick batarian not far from the clinic. I gave him some medi-gel but he could use some help getting back to the clinic."

"Will send assistant," Mordin said.

Shepard left the clinic through the side entrance and made her way to the environmental control center. They encountered Blood Pack vorcha and krogan almost immediately. Varren harried them, biting into their armored legs and arms when they got the chance. Shepard's Shockwave was handy at keeping the charging krogan and varren at bay. She was really starting to hate the vorcha pyromancers with their flame throwers and started to take great delight in shooting out their gas tanks to watch them explode.

Along the way she stopped to check the room where Jane always found Daniel, Mordin's missing assistant, before. The room was completely empty. She ignored the odd looks from Jacob and Miranda as she crossed through the next door and ducked behind the half-wall to fire on the vorcha across the way. They pushed forward down a flight of stairs and out onto a balcony. Vorcha with rocket launchers fired at them from the balcony across the way while others took shots from the ground below.

They fought through more Blood Pack as they followed the signs to the environmental control room. When they entered the room, Shepard shot the first vorcha in the head before it could start talking. She already knew what they were doing and why, she didn't have time to waste with the vorcha's mad ravings about how the collectors were going to make the vorcha stronger. Miranda and Jacob were using their biotics to Warp and Pull the vorcha furthest from Shepard. She ducked into cover and open fired.

Shepard was already heading towards the alcove at the back of the room when EDI's voice came over the comm to tell her that the central control system was located back there. She dropped the cure into the machine and turned to shoot the Blood Pack that were creeping in behind them. They had to fight their way through them to get to the fan controls located on either side of the main room. As soon as she got the first one turned back on, more Blood Pack flooded the area. Rockets shot down from the balconies towards her team. She wanted to find whoever it was that thought it was a good idea to give vorcha rocket launchers and shoot them in the face.

Finally they got the last fan going and the cure began filtering through the ventilation system. They guarded the central control system until the cure dispersal chamber was completely emptied before making their way back towards Mordin's clinic. Shepard didn't remember having to fight through so much resistance on the return trip before, but she did this time. In fact, she couldn't recall ever having to face so many of the Blood Pack on this mission.

Maybe it meant that they weren't split between here and taking down Archangel. Garrus wasn't where he normally was on Omega, maybe he wasn't in as much trouble either. She hoped that none survived to shut down the system again, even with the cure, without the ventilation running everyone would die. Shepard walked back into the clinic and found Mordin waiting for her with a knapsack slung over his shoulder.

"Shepard. Excellent work. Cure seems to be working. Many people already recovered. Assistant will take over clinic. Am ready to leave," Mordin said.

"I've got someone else that I have to find on Omega before I'm ready to head out, if you want you can wait for us on the Normandy or you can come with us," Shepard said.

"Will come with you. Might be able to assist," Mordin said.

"Excellent. One of Aria's men is waiting outside of the quarantine zone. He's been tasked to take us to the Tuhi District," Shepard said.

"Can send him away. Can take you there," Mordin said.

"Works for me," she said.

They made their way back through the quarantine area and Shepard was happy to see that the coast was clear. They stepped out next to a few apartments and as Shepard glanced at one of them she wondered if Morinth, the Ardat-Yakshi was already hunting on Omega.

"Terrel, you can go back to Aria. Mordin can show us the way to the Tuhi District," Shepard said to the turian.

"I don't know, Aria told me to take you around," Terrel said hesitantly.

"You can always tell her I threatened to shoot you, if it helps," Shepard said.

Terrel chuckled and it made her heart ache to hear Garrus' laugh again. He nodded and left the four of them to make their own way. Mordin lead them through the winding levels of Omega until they arrived at an area Shepard recognized. Jane had helped Aria fight off Cerberus in this area, as well as several others across Omega. It was a business district catering to everything from curio shops to scrap yards.

 _"_ _Garrus isn't here. Why would he be here? He's never here, this is the wrong place,"_ Jane said.

This was as far as her leads took her, so Shepard did the only thing she could. She watched, she listened, and she asked questions. Three hours and thirteen doors slammed in her face later, Shepard was at a loss. She was seconds away from pulling out her gun and demanding answers when an empty building caught her eye. It was three stories tall, non-descript and like many of the places in this area it looked run down and empty. She studied it with a tactical eye, noting its defensible location. Unlike many of the buildings in the area, it wasn't connected in any way to neighboring buildings, tall fences surrounded it, and there were no windows on the lower level but plenty of partially boarded up windows on the upper two floors. Perfect for a sniper. It was worth a shot.

"Something is happening. Street clearing. Businesses closing doors. Mercs coming? Gang? Suggest arming yourself," Mordin said drawing his pistol.

Shepard took her eyes off the building to look around and realized that Mordin was right. She drew the M-6 Mordin gave her earlier and loaded her incendiary ammo. She turned 360 watching the area. There were no good places of cover that didn't trap her in a building, and far too many dark alleys. Shepard gestured with her hand, pushing her team back against a wall of another empty building. Its windows had long since been shattered and if they needed too, they could climb through for a more defensible position. It would be a last resort, she didn't know if there was anyone in there, what kind of condition the interior was in, or even if there would be other exits if they needed to bolt.

"Ah. Must be Talons' territory," Mordin said as the first turian with red and white face paint stalked out of the shadows.

Shepard had her gun up as others soon followed him, pouring out of alleys and jumping down from low roof tops. They were surrounded by the armed gang members in seconds. None of their guns were pointed at her yet, so she watched and waited with her pistol raised. Shepard knew of the Talons through Jane's memories, but she had never dealt with them before they were under Nyreen's thumb. She recalled that prior to Nyreen taking control, the Talons were nothing more than highly organized street thugs.

A turian broke away from the others and walked casually towards Shepard stopping ten feet away. Shepard watched him but stayed silent. Around her, her team faced different directions with their weapons drawn waiting for any sign of attack. She did a quick scan and counted roughly twenty turians watching her.

"Derius wants to see you," the turian said.

Shepard licked her lips, "Who's Derius and why would I want to see him?"

"Oh, don't worry little lady, Derius just wants to talk," he said.

"Who said I'm worried? What does Derius want to talk about and why doesn't he come talk to me himself?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _Who is Derius? We don't know a Derius. This is bad, we shouldn't be here. Why are we here?"_ Jane rattled in Shepard's mind.

"Word is that you just took out a whole lot of the Blood Pack and some Blue Suns down in the slums of the Gozu District. Word is you helped cure the plague. Now you're down hear asking a lot of questions, making a lot of people uncomfortable. Maybe Derius has some answers for you," the turian said.

"Uh huh, and where is this Derius?" Shepard asked.

"Commander, you cannot seriously be considering this! We do not need Archangel this badly. Let's go, we can find someone else," Miranda said.

"Oh now, see I can't let you just go. Derius wants to talk to you, that would be awfully rude of you to just leave without at least saying hello to him," the turian said.

"Would recommend _not_ going with Talons," Mordin said.

"I'm with the doctor on this one," Jacob said.

Shepard shrugged, "Sorry, mister. My friends here don't want to meet your Derius."

 _"_ _No, don't want to meet Derius. We want to go, let's go,"_ Jane said.

"Well, see that's going to be a problem," the turian raised his shotgun and pointed it at Shepard. "You see Derius –," the turian stopped talking when his head jerked to the side and a spray of blue blood painted the air before raining down on the street.

A heartbeat later Shepard heard the report of a gunshot. Chaos erupted around her as some of the Talons started searching for the source of the shot while others open fired on her and her team. Miranda threw up a biotic shield while Shepard bashed out the remaining shards of glass in the window next to them. She sent Jacob through the window to secure the location. A second later he reappeared and motioned everyone else in. Miranda was weakening so as soon as Mordin was through Shepard ordered Miranda to follow. Shepard took a few hits before she flung out a Shockwave, toppling several turians in its wake. She turned and dove through the window, tucking herself in to roll across the broken glass and scattered debris on the building's floor. Jacob and Mordin were firing out of the window and Miranda was rushing to Shepard's side.

Shepard's shields were already raising and she could feel her cybernetic implants working to patch up the hole in her thigh. She pulled herself to a crouching position and waved Miranda off before taking up station beneath the window sill. She peeked over the edge and saw another turian's head take a bullet. She used her Reave to help boost the healing of the cybernetics while simultaneously sucking the life out of another turian. Mordin moved to the next window to support Miranda and Shepard stood to take his place putting her back to the metal reinforced wall and glanced out the window. More Talons were moving in on her location from the surrounding alleys.

A couple of them were smart enough to climb in through a back window and tried to creep up on Shepard and her team. Shepard was prepared for that possibility, and saw them when they entered the room. She used a biotic Charge to boost herself before running forward to slam into the closest turian. He was knocked back and she started firing. The second turian turned his gun on her and she slammed her elbow into his face. A second later he was writhing on the ground caught up in a Warp thrown by Miranda. Shepard turned back to the first turian who was pulling himself back to his feet and put a final bullet in his head. She heard Miranda's gun bark twice and the turian she hit in the face was down for good.

She heard panicked screams from several turians outside when Mordin used his Incinerate tech to light a group of them on fire. Shepard motioned to Miranda, using hand signals to direct her to the back rooms. The two women crept through the rooms together, shooting turians in the middle of climbing through windows. She heard feet pounding on the floor above and searched out the staircase while switching to her shotgun. She motioned Miranda to stay at the foot of the stairs while she crept up them slowly her eyes up, darting from side to side. The first turian stepped into view and she blasted him on his ass with a shot to the midsection.

Another peaked around the corner and Shepard nearly took his face off with the next shot but he was too quick. His hand reached around the corner and he fired off several shots haphazardly hoping to hit his target. Shepard used her Charge to fly up the stairs and past him before spinning around with her shotgun up. His eyes were wide with shock as she pulled the trigger; the blast tore a hole through his chest. She waved Miranda up and together they cleared the top floor.

She could still hear gunfire coming from downstairs and out on the streets. Shepard tapped her comm and told Jacob to keep his eyes on potential targets coming from the back; Miranda and she were staying upstairs. They moved to the window and Shepard used the butt of her shotgun to break out the glass before switching back to her pistol. Most of the surviving talons had withdrawn to positions that didn't leave them out in the open. Still, any time one of them was stupid enough to poke their head out of cover a sniper bullet tore through their skulls.

Shepard and Miranda rained bullets and biotics down on the turians from their vantage point until the return fire lessened and she could see the survivors retreating. She waited a couple of minutes to make sure that it wasn't a ruse before heading back down to the first floor.

"We had sniper aid, ma'am. The dossier on Archangel said he was a sniper. You think it could be him" Jacob asked when Shepard appeared next to him.

"If we're lucky. Any movement out there?" Shepard asked.

"I don't see anything, I think the rest have retreated," he said.

Shepard grunted and motioned towards the door. It was stuck and Jacob had to help her pry it open. She peered through the cracked door looking for any signs of movement before moving out with her pistol up. Her eyes scanned over the area, from every rooftop to every dark alley before they landed on the most beautiful sight. Several blocks away a helmeted turian in blue armor with a sniper rifle dangling from his hand strolled purposefully down the street towards her. She did a quick count and saw fifteen men and women of various species spread out behind him.

 _"_ _Garrus is here? His people aren't dead? Isn't his team supposed to die, betrayed by Sidonis? We help him kill Sidonis. We don't understand,"_ Jane said.

Her team moved out of the building and to her side, their weapons raised. Miranda was pulling biotic energy around herself. Archangel's team raised their guns at the show of hostile intent but Archangel flicked a finger and they lowered them again. Shepard held a hand up, signaling her team to lower their weapons. She didn't know when her feet started moving but she was walking towards the new group, first slowly and hesitantly and then with more confidence. Thirty feet away and Archangel slung his sniper rifle over his shoulder, holstering it on his back. Twenty feet away and he was reaching up to take off his helmet. Fifteen feet away Shepard saw the only face she wanted to see more than any other in the world and she couldn't stop her legs from running, even with the pain that shot through her still healing thigh.

Shepard flung herself onto Garrus and it was like hitting a brick wall. He did not welcome her with open arms; his body did not curl around hers. She felt his hands lock on her waist before he lifted her off of him and set her feet back on the ground. She staggered back, her eyes filled with pain and confusion as they sought his out only to find that they were empty, cold, devoid of any sign of affection.

"Garrus… I – I'm sorry," Shepard stammered.

He chose to ignore her hurt and her weak apology. Instead he looked past her to the rest of her team who were making their way over. Shepard saw a female turian standing just a little behind and to the right of Garrus; she had a look of smug satisfaction on her face.

"I thought you guys could use a little help," Garrus said to Shepard's crew, his eyes barely flickering over her.

Shepard took a few steps back to stand in front of her team and locked her emotions away the best she could. She made herself stand at parade rest and slapped on her Commander face. She got it, she hurt him bad but she was damned if she was going to let him ignore her authority over her own crew. He would address her like the leader she was.

"Your assistance was appreciated," Shepard said. "Thank you. All of you."

Garrus watched Shepard with indifference. She blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill out of her eyes.

"So… uh, you two know each other?" Jacob asked.

"This is Garrus Vakarian. He helped me in the fight against Sovereign, Saren, and the geth. He was there with me on the Citadel when the attack happened," Shepard said keeping her eyes locked on Garrus.

"Why didn't you tell us you knew Archangel?" Miranda asked.

"It's a newly acquired moniker," Garrus answered for her.

At least he was still keeping her secret.

"I see," Miranda said crossing her arms.

"Suggest moving to secure location. Possible Talons could return," Mordin said.

"I suppose if you're here, there's trouble?" Garrus asked Shepard.

"Collectors are abducting entire colonies. We've reason to believe they are doing so by orders of the reapers," Shepard said feeding into the charade.

"We're set up over there for now, it will be secure enough for us to talk," Garrus said indicating the building Shepard had noted earlier.

She extended her hand as if to say 'after you'. Garrus turned and led the way back to the abandoned building. The lower floor was empty, nothing but dust, debris, and footprints. It had an open layout, allowing Shepard to see clear to the other side of the building. Once everyone was inside, two men barred the door behind them before taking up guard positions. Shepard was curious what kind of layout they had upstairs, but Garrus didn't offer to give them a tour.

"So, who is this, exactly?" the turian woman asked.

"Surely you recognize a legend when you see one, Sarat," Garrus said.

The turian woman looked at Shepard and narrowed her eyes in thought. Shepard returned the gaze calmly. She could tell the moment the turian placed Shepard's face because her mandibles snapped tight against her own.

"Ah. Commander Shepard. I thought you were dead," she said.

"I was," Shepard said simply.

 _"_ _Dead and they took us and cut us open. The brought us back to life with torture,"_ Jane said.

Sarat scoffed and whispers spread through Garrus' team. A human male stepped up to Garrus' other side.

"How's that, then?" he asked.

Shepard shrugged and opened her mouth to try and answer when more questions started to pour from the crowd.

"How could you have been dead, you're standing right here in front of us," a batarian asked.

"Don't be stupid, she couldn't have been. She was obviously sent on a deep cover mission by the Council, she's a Spectre, remember?" and asari said.

Shepard frowned.

"But her ship was torn apart and Archangel saw her get spaced," another turian said. "No way she survived that."

The group of men and women devolved into bickering amongst themselves and Shepard stopped paying attention. She turned her attention back to Garrus who was watching her with scrutiny. Shepard cleared her throat.

"I'm here because I have been tasked with putting together a team to deal with the collectors. The name 'Archangel' appeared on my list of dossiers. My team could use someone with your particular skill set," Shepard said standing at parade rest once more.

"You can't be serious?" Sarat spoke.

Shepard turned her head to glance at Sarat, "I assure you, I am."

"You disappear for two years, let him think you're dead and then just show up here and expect him to leave all of us behind to go fight your war?" Sarat asked derisively.

 _"_ _Our war. It is always our war,"_ Jane said.

"Sarat," Garrus said quietly but she ignored him.

"That is assuming that there is even a war to really be fought. The Council still denies your claims," Sarat continued.

"Sarat," Garrus said again.

"Even your Alliance has not spoken out in support of your claims," Sarat said.

"Sarat!" Garrus snarled.

"What? Tell me I'm wrong!" Sarat said.

"You're wrong. Now go find something useful to do before Shepard knocks you on your ass!" Garrus barked the order out.

Sarat's eyes bugged out as much as any turian's eyes can and her mouth hung slack. Shepard schooled her features before a smug smile could cross her lips but she heard a chuckle from Miranda. Sarat heard it too and she spun to look at Shepard and her team; her mandibles snapped tight against her jaw. Shepard raised an eyebrow. Sarat spun on her heel and stormed off.

Garrus returned his penetrating gaze to Shepard. The two watched each other in silence for long minutes. Members of Garrus' team slowly started to filter away to do their own thing. Jacob shifted beside Shepard. Still the two watched each other. Shepard was starting to worry that he might actually tell her no. Even if he was still hurt with her, angry at her, she really didn't know if she could do all of this without him.

"If he's not coming with us, I suggest we move on, Commander. There are more people we need to find, the collectors aren't going to wait for us," Miranda said.

Shepard raised a hand to silence the woman and heard Miranda's soft scoff in response but kept her eyes on Garrus. Finally, he shifted his weight and she knew she had won.

"Give me an hour with my team, to set things in order," Garrus said.

"You're actually going to go with her? You're going to leave m – us and go?" Sarat's raised voice carried across the room.

Shepard's jaw clenched, if she had any doubts before of what Garrus meant to Sarat they were now gone with the woman's almost slip of tongue. The only question that remained was what Sarat meant to him. Garrus' mandibles flared before snapping closed again. Shepard saw him grind his pointed teeth together.

"Excuse me," Garrus said turning away from Shepard. "Sarat. Upstairs. Now."

Garrus walked towards the back of the room and disappeared up a flight of stairs. Sarat followed after him. Within seconds, a few of Garrus' group had approached Shepard and started asking questions about the collectors and the reapers. Shepard answered what she could; telling them only what she could justify knowing.

"We believe the collectors to be working in collusion with the reapers. So far, there have only been reports of missing human colonies. It is likely that they will soon move on to other species. The reapers are a race of sentient machines, AI's, that have existed for at least before the times of the protheans," Shepard said.

A few minutes later, everyone in the room became uncomfortably aware of the sounds of a heated argument floating down from the next floor. Shepard shifted her weight and continued to talk about the reapers as more moved towards her to listen.

"We don't know how long, exactly, but evidence has been found indicating that they were responsible for the extinction of the protheans and many other advanced species before the protheans," she said. "Prothean data was found indicating that the reapers exist in a state of stasis in dark space until they return to complete another harvesting. The ship that attacked the Citadel, Sovereign, was a vanguard for the reapers tasked with opening the way for the others return. By defeating him, we have slowed their process but not stopped the threat. They are still coming."

"… irrelevant and none of your goddamn business, Sarat!" Garrus' voice rose.

"How is it irrelevant, Garrus?! You're running off to be with a _human_!" Sarat's voice rose to match his.

"This isn't about Shepard! Spirits! The threat is real, the reapers _are_ coming," Garrus' words echoing those Shepard just spoke.

Shepard swallowed against the thick knot in her throat and stopped trying to talk over the sound of their argument. Everyone else shifted around her, now avoiding her eyes. A few of them looked sorry for her. She clenched her jaw tight. She hated pity.

"Oh, so you won't be bedding her then?" Sarat growled.

Things were silent upstairs for a few seconds then Shepard heard movement. She was just about to open her mouth to ask the others to tell Garrus to meet them at her ship when she heard him yell.

"We've got incoming!" Garrus warned as the sound of gunfire echoed down the stairs.

Shepard pushed past everyone in her way and rushed up the stairs. Sarat glared at Shepard from her crouched position beneath a window frame. Others were moving up the stairs behind her, spreading out through the upper two floors.

"How many?" Shepard asked checking her thermal clip.

"Thirty," Garrus had the barrel of his sniper rifle aimed between two planks of wood covering another window and pulled the trigger, "Make that twenty-nine."

Shepard touched her mic, "Mordin, with me. Jacob, Miranda watch the doors."

Shepard moved to a window and started firing. A minute later Mordin was at the other side of the same window setting the Talons below on fire. The salarian from Garrus' team moved to the window next to Sarat and used a Cryo Blast to freeze Talons while Sarat shot them, causing them to shatter. A bullet tore through the window and hit the salarian in the head. He took one stumbling step backwards before he collapsed. Sarat screamed and moved to his side, trying to rouse him but it was hopeless.

"Damn it," Shepard heard Garrus curse.

"This is all your fault," Sarat said quietly and something about the woman's voice made Shepard glance her way.

Sarat was pointing her gun at Shepard. Shepard spun, leveling her own pistol at Sarat. Mordin turned to take aim at the female turian as well.

"Sarat, you don't want to do this," Shepard warned.

"Sarat! Drop it, now!" Garrus asked catching on to what was taking place.

"This is her fault. If she hadn't shown up, neither would the Talons. You wouldn't have had to help her; you wouldn't have shown yourself on the streets. They wouldn't have followed us back here. Mierin's dead because of her!" Sarat yelled.

"Sarat, I am not your enemy. Those men out there, the ones who shot Mierin are," Shepard said.

Sarat's finger twitched towards the trigger. Garrus pulled his sniper rifle up and fired. The bullet passed cleanly through her head; Sarat was dead before she hit the floor. Garrus turned back to the window leaving Shepard to stare at him in stunned silence. Mordin began firing out the window again. Shepard pulled herself together and turned back to the window.

 _"_ _Gods, he just… he just shot her. She was one of his and he just shot her!"_ Jane said.

When the streets were silent again, and the sounds of gunfire stopped echoing through the building Garrus spoke into his comm. Shepard and her crew weren't on his frequency, but she was standing right next to him.

"Sarat and Mierin are down. This location has been compromised. We leave in five," Garrus said.

Shepard followed Garrus back down the stairs to the main floor. He didn't even glance back at the dead members of his team. That wasn't at all like Garrus, not the Garrus she loved and not even like the Garrus of Jane's memories. The Garrus who would have blamed himself for Sidonis' betrayal and the death of his team. The Garrus that would have carved each of their names into his visor. The Garrus who would have shrouded the bodies of the dead with love and honor. The Garrus who would have hunted down the man responsible and made him pay with his own life. This was a new Garrus; a calloused Garrus too cold to even care that he had shot one of his own.

 _"_ _What did you do?"_ Jane asked.

Shepard motioned Miranda and Jacob to her as Garrus' team swarmed in and out of rooms gathering up their belongings and regrouping by the door. When everyone was ready, the bar was removed and they moved cautiously from the building. The bodies of more than sixty Talons littered the streets between the original assault location to the front of the building Garrus' team had called home.

Shepard was impressed with the efficiency of Garrus' team and the ease at which he had taken to leading them. They followed his signals to spread out and move from building to building without question or hesitation. Everyone was alert and quiet as they moved out of the Talons' territory and through the Tuhi District. As they made their way through more densely populated areas, members of Garrus' team stopped to shake his hand and tell him goodbye before disappearing into the crowds. When they reached the entrance to the docks outside of Afterlife, four remained.

Garrus turned to speak with them and Shepard walked a few feet away with her team to give them some privacy. After a few minutes, the two turians and the human left Garrus alone with the batarian. Shepard saw Garrus shake his head and nod over his shoulder towards her. The batarian trained his eyes on her before walking over to her.

"I want to come with you," he said.

Garrus walked up to stand at his side. Shepard's eyes slid to Garrus in question and he lifted a shoulder before letting it fall again. She pursed her lips.

"You are aware or what will be expected of you?" Shepard asked.

The batarian checked the thermal clip on his pistol, "I believe in your cause, I believe the reapers are coming and I intend to fight them. Whether alone, or with a team. I'd much rather do it with a team," he said.

"And you would be comfortable on a Cerberus vessel?" Shepard asked.

"Can't say I know anything about Cerberus," he said.

Shepard scratched the side of her head and glanced towards Miranda and Jacob.

"We are a privately funded organization focused on the advancement of humanity," Miranda said stepping up to Shepard's side.

Garrus scoffed and Shepard's lip twitched up into a small smile.

"What she means to say is, they are a privately funded organization focused on the advancement of humanity above all other species, and at any cost no matter how sick and twisted," Garrus said.

Miranda glared at Garrus and crossed her arms. She opened her mouth to speak again and Shepard held up a hand before things got ugly.

"Right now, Cerberus is the only one taking this threat seriously so I have found myself temporarily allied with Cerberus. I do not agree with Cerberus' methods, and I don't necessarily support their ideals. That being said, I am in charge of this mission and you would be working for me, not Cerberus," Shepard said.

The batarian blinked his eyes at Shepard, "I can handle that."

Shepard reached out a hand, "Then welcome aboard… I'm sorry; I didn't catch your name?"

 _"_ _He can't come with us, he's dead. He's dead and no one brought him back with cutting and scraping. Dead men can't fight wars,"_ Jane said.

The batarian shook Shepard's hand, "Grundan Krul."

"Welcome aboard, Grundan Krul," Shepard said.


	26. Chapter 3: Lots Of Alcohol

Chapter 3: Lots of Alcohol

"Looks like Cerberus will let any goddamn thing on this ship," Zaeed said when Shepard boarded with Grundan Krul.

Shepard shot him a warning glance and the man resorted to abusive stares and quiet grumbles. Grundan Krul watched Zaeed closely after that, keeping him in sight as Shepard herded them towards the communications room.

"What training do you have, Grundan?" Jacob asked.

"Batarians not approve of shortening names. Offensive. Full name provided. Full name should be used," Mordin shrugged, "If want to avoid conflict."

Shepard missed the more expansive debriefing room of the old Normandy. It gave her room to pace and there were seats for her crew. Grundan Krul stood next to Garrus who leaned against the wall next to the door with his arms crossed – as far away from Shepard as he could get. Jacob stood next to Miranda on the opposite side of the table. Mordin stood just in front of the door facing Shepard, who had taken up station at the far end of the table. Zaeed mimicked Garrus' wall-leaning stance behind and to the side of Shepard. His good eye locked on Grundan Krul.

"Grundan Krul, sorry," Jacob held a hand palm up. "Didn't mean any offense."

"I'm familiar enough with the ways of humans to not take offense. The first time," Grundan Krul said. "Since leaving Khar'shan I've spent most of my time free-lancing. Spent some time with the Blue Suns. Left the Blue Suns over management disputes. Then I met Archangel. Been with him for a few months now."

 _"_ _We've never taken a batarian aboard before. This isn't good, this won't end well,"_ Jane said.

Zaeed hissed when Grundan Krul mentioned working with the Blue Suns. Shepard seriously hoped that this wasn't going to be a big problem. She hadn't discussed the Blue Suns and Vido Santiago with Zaeed yet, but Jane's memories told her the sordid details of Zaeed's past. Jacob glanced at Zaeed but Shepard chose to ignore his grumbling until she had a chance to speak with him alone.

"EDI?" Shepard said.

EDI's blue hologram popped up in front of Mordin, "Yes, Shepard?"

"Please pull up what we have on the collectors so far," Shepard said.

"At once," EDI replied.

A holographic screen unfurled itself in the air above the table before the footage from Freedom's Progress began to play across its surface. Behind that, a model of a collector's ship rotated in the air. Still form pictures of a close up of a collector and the paralyzing swarms displayed themselves at designated stations around the ring of the table. Garrus, Grundan Krul, and Zaeed all moved closer to a station to look closely at their new enemies.

"The collectors act by first sending out swarms of insect like creatures. We are not yet certain if they are organic or synthetic," Shepard said trying to keep straight in her mind what she experienced versus what Jane experienced.

"My data analysis of the video feeds indicates synthetic structures and behaviors of the swarms," EDI said.

"Thank you, EDI," Shepard said.

"Of course, Shepard," EDI said.

"Is that a bloody AI?" Zaeed asked.

"Yes, the Enhanced Defense Intelligence, or EDI as we call it is an AI. It is shackled, and its accessibility to the ship is monitored. You needn't be concerned," Miranda said.

"She," Shepard said absently.

"Pardon me?" Miranda asked.

"You said 'it'. EDI is feminine and self-aware; your petty insults do not go unnoticed even if she does not remark on them. EDI is a 'she' and not an 'it'. She has a personality, a life of her own even if it differs from your understanding of life," Shepard said keeping her eyes on the holographic displays on the table in front of her.

 _"_ _Yes, she. EDI is our friend. She saves us so many times but sometimes we kill her. We kill her and all the geth so we can kill the reapers, too,"_ Jane said.

Garrus chuffed and Shepard's heart raced. She clenched her jaw, angry that he still had such an effect on her even after his cold reception. Shepard could feel his eyes on her now. She refused to look at him; she refused to acknowledge her own stupid physiological response to his presence and refused to see the lack of wanting in his eyes.

After a moment when Miranda did not respond, Shepard raised her head to look at the woman. She stood with her arms crossed, and a hip cocked. She had that snotty look about her that Miranda's face seemed perfectly designed for. Shepard humorously wondered if that was a part of her genetic engineering; if that was a trait her father sought out when he had her created from his own DNA. Shepard dismissed the woman's attitude by turning her attention back to the video recording playing in the center of the table.

"As you can see, the seeker swarms sting their victims causing a paralysis reaction. Preventing them from any form of self-defense and leaving them hapless targets for the collectors to… well, collect. The collectors then place the victims, still alive, into stasis chambers and transport them to their ships," Shepard said.

 _"_ _They're melting them down, turning them into liquid. Pumping them inside of it. Feeding the baby reaper its first meal so it can grow big and strong and kill us all,"_ Jane said.

She paused, "EDI, a map of the locations hit by the collectors so far, please."

"Yes, Shepard," EDI's voice sounded a bit softer.

When the map was displayed, Shepard continued, "As you can see, all of the colonies hit so far have been human colonies. The collectors have stayed primarily to those small, remote colonies in the Terminus Systems. Freedom's Progress," Shepard said reaching out and sliding her hand along the map to zoom in on Freedom's Progress, "Is the most recent of these attacks."

"Unfortunately, the video footage you just saw was the only evidence we were able to obtain," Shepard said.

"What makes you sure they will go after other species, then?" Grundan Krul asked.

"Collectors already shown interest in other species. Have traded for specimens from different species for many years. Plague on Omega likely created by collectors. Targets other species, not humans," Mordin said.

"Thank you, Mordin," Shepard said.

"Happy to help," he replied.

"So why are they abducting only human colonists now?" Grundan Krul asked.

"Because Shepard pissed off the reapers," Garrus said.

Shepard glanced at him and then back to Grundan Krul, "That very well may be the case. The working theory is that the collectors are working for the reapers, much the way that Saren and the geth did. When I thwarted Sovereign's plans to assume control of the Citadel and allow the other reapers to pass through from dark space, I made myself and by extension all of humanity prime targets. It was a collector ship that destroyed the old Normandy."

 _"_ _Assuming control. That's what Harbinger always says. He creeps inside the empty heads of the prothean shells and takes over their bodies,"_ Jane said.

Grundan Krul turned his head to look at Garrus and Garrus nodded in response.

"So what's our plan of attack?" Zaeed asked.

"We are hoping that Mordin can devise something to combat the seeker swarms. That will allow us to respond to attacks while they are happening, and ideally make it possible for us to board a collector ship," Shepard said. "We need to know why the attacks are happening, what they are doing with the people they take, and every last scrap of information that we can gather on them in order to know how best to defeat them."

"Will need more information on the swarms. Preferable to have active specimen to run tests," Mordin said.

Shepard winced inwardly, without the information that Veetor gathered in other lives they were starting this war out at a disadvantage. A name and a face floated to the forefront of her mind: James Vega. Shepard tried to search the memory of Vega to understand his importance in that moment but Jane yelled in her head.

 _"_ _No, no. You've changed too much! You can't go see him, leave him alone. You'll kill him, too. It's too early, we can't meet him yet,"_ Jane said.

"Jane, who is he? If he can help us, we need to go see him," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _No. We can't let you. We want the changes to stop, we don't like them. We were wrong, we want things to go back the way they're supposed to be,"_ Jane pleaded.

"Damn it, Jane, who is he?" Shepard asked.

Jane stopped talking. Shepard tried to push for the memory but Jane was fighting her too hard. Shepard's brow furrowed as she fought against Jane to no avail.

"Commander?" Jacob said.

Shepard looked up to see that Jacob and the others were all watching her.

"I'm sorry, just, uh, running some things through my head," Shepard said. "EDI, run a pattern analysis on the targets hit so far. See if you can find any connection, something that might give us an idea of where they'll hit next. And get me a list of human colonies in the Terminus Systems."

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said.

"For now we need to head to the Citadel. I've been summoned by Councilor Anderson and the longer I wait to report the more problematic things will become. If I'm lucky, the Council will still consider me a Spectre. That will open a lot of doors for us. For now, everyone find a place to settle in. Mordin, I'll show you to the lab," Shepard said. "Zaeed, I'll come see you once I've got Mordin set up."

Garrus was the first one out the door. Shepard wasn't surprised, even if it did hurt. She'd have to talk to him eventually, but for now, she'd give him his space. She took Mordin to the labs just outside the comm room. She watched as the salarian scientist scoped out the new lab, checking on equipment and inventorying what was available to him.

"If there is anything missing, anything that you need just let EDI know. If you have any ideas for ways to upgrade the ship, or anything else at all that will help us on this mission let me know and we'll make sure you get what you need," Shepard said.

"Yes. Excellent. Will get to work right away. Will send what I have. Thank you, Shepard," Mordin said.

"Alright, I'll leave you to get started," Shepard said.

She made her way to the CIC and to the galaxy map to set coordinates for the Citadel.

"You have messages waiting for you, Commander," Kelly said.

"Great, thanks, Kelly," Shepard responded still working at the map.

"It looks like you're already pulling together quite the team," Kelly said.

Shepard looked up from the map, "Yeah, we're off to a good start. Grundan Krul was an unexpected addition, hopefully he works out well."

"I must admit that I'm very curious about Grundan Krul. My knowledge on batarians is limited, and I don't have any background information on him to work with. This will be challenging, but I like challenges!" Kelly said.

Shepard chuckled, "Just uh, try not to be too pushy if he doesn't want to talk. And apparently, make sure you use his full name."

"I will be sure to remember that, thanks Shepard," Kelly said.

"Sure, Kelly. Anytime," Shepard said heading towards the elevator.

She took the elevator up to her cabin and sat down at her desk, opening the laptop. The first message at the top of the list was from Wrex. Shepard couldn't help the smile at seeing his name.

Shepard: About time you're back up and fighting. Good to hear from you. I'm on Tuchanka, come see me if you get the chance. I'll let everyone know not to give you any shit.

Shepard smiled and clicked the reply button.

Wrex: Well, I couldn't let you have all the fun without me. I've got a lot going on, but I will definitely be coming to see you as soon as I can.

She sent the reply and then moved on to the next message from Kirrahe.

Shepard: Contact me again when you are on the Citadel.

Shepard didn't reply to that one, she knew Kirrahe was probably busy and possibly in the middle of getting shot at. She'd let him know when she reached the Citadel as he asked. The next message was from Tali.

Shepard: I can't be at the Citadel now. There are some things happening with the Migrant Fleet. I will contact you again when I can meet with you. And Shepard, I'm so happy to know that you are alive.

 _"_ _Thank the gods, you didn't kill her, too,"_ Jane said.

"That's not fair, Jane. She wasn't even on the Normandy when it went down," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Doesn't matter, you're changing so much. Garrus survived the wreck but died inside anyway,"_ Jane said.

"Alright, you know what, can it Jane. I can't deal with your negative bullshit right now," Shepard thought.

Shepard bit her lip, rereading Tali's words. Was the fleet already moving towards a war with the geth? Was it something else – was Tali in trouble?

Tali: I understand. If you're in trouble though… if there is anything I can do, just let me know. Hope to see you soon.

Shepard was about to close the laptop when a new message notification popped up on her screen. She went back to her inbox and saw Garrus' name. She clicked on the message and saw that he had replied to the one she sent him, but wasn't acknowledging her message otherwise.

Shepard: I have things I need to do on the Citadel. Will this be a problem?

Shepard sat back in her chair and stared at the brief words filled with formality and not a drop of familiarity. A part of her wanted to tell him no just for spite, but she couldn't bring herself to be that childish.

Garrus: No problem.

"EDI, where has Zaeed Massani taken up residence?" Shepard asked.

"Mr. Massani is in the Starboard Cargo located on Deck Four," EDI said.

"Thanks, EDI. Hey, EDI… I hope it was alright that I spoke up for you earlier with Miranda. I guess I could have made a point to ask you how you felt about the subject," Shepard said moving to the blue hologram.

EDI was quiet for a moment before responding, "It was unexpected. I have no preferences on the matter at this time, but I understand and appreciate the attempt at inclusion. Flight Lieutenant Moreau would like to see you, when you have time."

"Thanks EDI, please tell Joker that I've got to speak with Zaeed and then I'll stop by," Shepard said.

"At once. Logging you out, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard left her cabin and summoned the elevator. The elevator stopped at Deck 3 and the door slid open. Garrus looked up from his omni-tool just outside the elevator and his mandibles clicked. Shepard crossed her arms and moved over to the corner. Garrus walked in and went to the opposite side. The doors slid closed once again and the elevator continued downwards to the lowest deck.

The elevator on the new Normandy was so much smaller than it was on the old Normandy. Even with them in opposite corners, Shepard could reach out and touch him. Gods she wanted to reach out and touch him. She dug her fingers into the soft fabric of her shirt and closed her eyes. Tears were starting to well up and she fought them off. The elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open. Garrus stepped out and glanced around before heading into Engineering. Shepard made her way to the Starboard Cargo and stepped inside.

Zaeed was standing at the back of the room leaning against the wall. When she came in he looked at her and grunted. She crossed the room to lean a hip against a table.

"Tell me about your arrangement with the Illusive Man," Shepard said.

"I've tracked down an old 'friend' of mine," Zaeed made air quotes when he said 'friend'. "I owe him a bullet between the eyes. You're going to help me make sure he gets it."

"Tell me about this 'friend' of yours," Shepard said mimicking the gesture.

Zaeed grunted, "Name's Vido Santiago. We started the Blue Suns together. We had some disagreements about the way things should be run. Vido thought he could get rid of me, solve his problems. Son-of-a-bitch shot me in the face and left me for dead."

"Where is he now?" Shepard asked.

"He's hold up with a bunch of Blue Suns at an Eldfell-Ashland refinery on Zorya. I'll forward the coordinates to you. You know that goddamn batarian is going to be a problem, don't you?" Zaeed said.

"I know that you had better not find ways to make him a problem," Shepard said.

"Don't worry, sweetheart, as long as he doesn't get in my way and Cerberus pays me what is due, I can play nice. Even with a goddamn batarian," Zaeed said.

Shepard pushed herself away from the table, "Seriously. Don't call me sweetheart."

"You'll have to forgive an old man a few bad habits, but I'll work on it, Shepard," Zaeed said with a smirk.

"Thanks. We'll get to the refinery as soon as we can. I'm sorry I can't make it a top priority. It will get taken care of, though," Shepard said.

 _"_ _People will be burning, on fire like we were on fire when we died,"_ Jane said.

"The sooner, the better, Shepard. Can't say I'll be at my best until I know that worthless son-of-a-bitch is dead," Zaeed said.

"I'll keep that in mind, Zaeed," Shepard said turning to leave.

"One more thing. Maybe it ain't none of my damn business, but the tension between you and that Archangel fellow – you might want to deal with that sooner than later, too," Zaeed said.

Shepard looked down at her boots and nodded her head, "Yeah. I'll get to that. He needs a little time to readjust. I hurt him pretty bad."

"He's a turian, and you're a commanding officer. Just yell at him and tell him to get his ass in line," Zaeed said.

Shepard laughed, "Yeah… I don't think that would work so well with this particular turian."

Zaeed shrugged, "Worth a shot, yeah?"

Shepard nodded, "Yeah, maybe. Thanks. I'll talk to you later, Zaeed."

Shepard walked out the door of the Starboard Cargo in time to see Garrus turn his head away from her and step back on to the elevator. Shepard groaned and walked over herself. Garrus was pushing the button to get the elevator to close its doors.

"Commander Shepard is attempting to board the elevator, Mr. Vakarian. The doors will close when all parties are inside," EDI's voice came through the elevator.

"Hmmm. Ah, thanks… EDI. I didn't see her coming," Garrus said.

"Biometric scans indicate that is inaccurate, Mr. Vakarian," EDI said.

Shepard stopped in front of the elevator, "Mr. Vakarian was making a bad attempt at what organics consider to be a polite social lie. He wishes to avoid my presence when possible, but hoped to be inconspicuous with his attempts. It's alright, EDI. Take him wherever he needs to go and send the elevator back down to me."

Garrus lifted his head to meet her gaze, and she caught the first signs of pain behind the anger. She swallowed and closed her eyes.

"As you wish, Shepard," EDI said and the elevator slid closed.

Shepard leaned her forehead against the closed doors and let out a sigh.

EDI's voice spoke a minute later, "The elevator has arrived, Shepard. In order to prevent personal injury, please step away from the door before it opens."

Shepard stepped back, "Thanks, EDI."

"I have completed my pattern analysis and a full list of the planets attacked by the collectors to date has been sent to your console. I have narrowed down four likely locations for the next collector attack and have highlighted those locations on a separate list of human colonies in the Terminus Systems. Is there anything else I can do for you, Shepard?" EDI asked once Shepard was on the elevator.

"That's it for now," Shepard said.

"Logging you out, Shepard," came EDI's standard reply.

Shepard took the elevator up to the CIC and headed towards the cockpit. She slipped into the seat next to Joker and offered him a quick smile when he glanced her way.

"Hey, Commander. So, it's good to see Garrus again, right?" Joker asked.

"I'm not sure he would agree with that sentiment right now, but yeah, it's good to see him," Shepard said.

Joker winced, "Yeah he stopped by to say hello. He seemed, uh, different."

"I fucked up, Joker. I don't think he's going to forgive me," Shepard said.

"Have you tried talking to him yet – about you know?" Joker asked.

"No, not yet. He's trying to avoid me so I haven't had a chance to even try," Shepard said.

"Well, he can't avoid you forever," Joker said.

Shepard chuckled, "Suppose not."

"And we've got a batarian onboard now, that's just great," Joker said his sarcasm not lost on Shepard.

"Hey, if he's willing to fight against the collectors, who am I to stand in his way?" Shepard asked.

"Fair enough. Let's just hope that he doesn't decide that a Cerberus ship full of humans would make a good homecoming present," Joker said.

"Joker… you know I wouldn't let that ever happen," Shepard said.

"Yeah," Joker said after a thoughtful moment.

He didn't sound completely sure. Shepard realized that she had wounded his trust too, he was just better at dealing with it than Garrus was. She closed her eyes and could still see his face screaming at her as the escape pod door closed on him. She only hoped that she could find a way to fix things, end this cycle and stop the reapers so that it wasn't all for nothing.

Shepard stood and rested a hand on Joker's shoulder, "I'm sorry, Joker. About it all."

"Yeah. Hey Commander, why don't you go get some sleep?" Joker said.

"Can't yet, need to look over the reports EDI sent me. I will soon, though," Shepard said leaving the cockpit.

In her cabin, Shepard looked over the lists comparing what colonies where attacked to what colonies EDI decided were likely next targets. She was having trouble seeing the pattern herself, but she trusted EDI. Her eyes kept being drawn back to the name Fehl Prime. She pushed into Jane's memories, trying to find the connection but Jane shoved back blocking her out.

"Damn it, Jane. I need to know everything; will you stop this shit already?" Shepard thought.

Jane didn't respond. Shepard gave up and went to bed.

The next morning they were docking with the Citadel. Shepard gave the green light for anyone who wanted to get off the ship for a while to go and meet back at the Normandy in two hours. If they needed longer to complete their business, they were to notify EDI immediately. Shepard sent a quick message to Kirrahe letting him know that she was docking with the Citadel but had to meet with the Council first.

Shepard stepped out of the airlock and paused to take a look around her. The Citadel had changed so much since Sovereign's attack. Pretty much everything had been revamped. The docks had higher levels of security and a higher human presence than ever before. Shepard moved over to an advertisement kiosk when it lit up with a woman's face and called her name. She recognized the hooded figure of Kasumi Goto from Jane's memories. She also recalled that the master thief was standing on the catwalks above watching Shepard talk to a stupid advertisement.

"Silence is Golden. Happy?" Shepard gave the code word to the advertisement before turning to look up at the woman on the catwalks, "Can you come down here now and talk to me in person?"

"No fun! How'd you know I was here?" Kasumi asked.

Shepard shrugged, "Call it intuition."

Kasumi activated her tactical cloak, disappearing from sight. Two seconds later she reappeared on the ground and strolled up to Shepard. Shepard held her hand out to the thief who shook her hand.

"I'm sure Cerberus has told you everything you need to know. It's unlikely they told me everything _I_ need to know. Mind filling me in on the terms of your arrangement?" Shepard asked knowing the answers already.

"Slip their minds, huh? I'm going to need your help retrieving my old partner's graybox from a man named Donavan Hock. He has it locked in his vault; I'll need your help infiltrating the vault. We do our job right, there shouldn't be any need for him to even know it's missing until we're gone," Kasumi said.

"Why does Hock have the graybox?" Shepard asked.

"Before he was killed, Keiji said that he had acquired some information – serious information – that could cause wars if it was ever found out. Hock wanted that information so he killed Keiji and took his graybox," Kasumi said.

Shepard nodded her head, "Alright, Kasumi. I've got some business to take care of here on the Citadel. We should be done here in a couple of hours. You're welcome to check out the Normandy or tend to whatever else you need to do before we leave."

"See you on the ship, Shepard," Kasumi said before activating her cloak again.

Shepard walked past the security desk and into the first door of the Citadel. She paused when she saw Garrus standing at the end of the hall talking to a turian C-Sec officer. She saw his mandibles flare from behind when she walked in, a sign that he knew she was there. Shepard squared her shoulders and walked up to the checkpoint.

She stopped a couple of feet from Garrus, knowing that the scanners were going to give a read out on her that would confuse the C-Sec guard. She glanced at Garrus while the C-Sec officer talked to his higher-ups on the comm. Garrus deigned to spare her a brief look before turning back to the officer.

"I can verify that this is Commander Shepard, Sargent Haron," Garrus said to the officer.

"It says she's dead," Haron said.

Garrus flinched ever so slightly.

"I was, uh, MIA a couple of years back. The Council knows I'm here now. I'll get things fixed," Shepard said.

"Alright. Just be sure to check in with my captain. He's at the desk just past that door," Haron said pointing over his shoulder.

Shepard nodded, "Sure thing, thanks Sargent."

Shepard made her way through the door to stop in front of Captain Bailey's desk. Jane's memories were filled with fond conversations with the human C-Sec officer. He had a family back on Earth, an ex-wife he still clearly cared about and children. Shepard didn't completely agree with his methods, but she couldn't fault the man for his effectiveness and he'd be there to help her when the time came.

"Excuse me, Captain?" Shepard said.

"Commander Shepard, welcome back to the Citadel. And the land of the living, it looks like. Let me save you a mound of paperwork and waiting, I'll fix this right up for you," Bailey said.

"Uh, yeah, thanks. I appreciate that," Shepard said.

"I'm guessing the Council already knows you're here?" Bailey asked.

"Yeah, I'm headed to them now," Shepard said. "Things are… uh, quite a bit different since the last time I was here."

Garrus walked in, passing by her without as much as a glance.

"This shit is getting old," Shepard grumbled under her breath.

There was a hitch in Garrus' step but he kept on going.

"What was that, Commander?" Bailey asked.

"Sorry, nothing. Thinking out loud. Anyway, thanks, Captain. I'd better get to the Council," Shepard said.

"Glad I could help, Commander. Let me know if you need anything," Bailey said.

Shepard left the C-Sec office and headed over to the rapid transit station. She called up the cab and had it take her to Anderson's office. As expected, the rest of the Council was already present via holographic comms. Shepard greeted Anderson with a handshake before explaining to the Council about the collector abductions, and the belief that the collectors were working for the reapers.

"Commander Shepard, we concede that the reapers are real although we do not yet know what threat they actually pose at this time," Tevos said.

Shepard was shocked. Had she heard that right?

 _"_ _They… they believed you? How? No, no this isn't right. Too much is changing. What will happen now? I don't know what will happen now!"_ Jane said.

"Everyone I've spoken to says that you are still denying the existence of the reapers," Shepard said.

"We have put forth publicly that the reapers do not exist and that Sovereign was nothing more than an advanced ship created by the geth. Until we have more solid evidence that the reapers are capable and intent on attacking, we do not wish to alarm the public," Valern said.

"We were not able to completely decipher all of the information that you provided us from the prothean VI, and the VI is no longer functioning on Ilos," Tevos said.

"What we were able to decipher, and verify, was enough to convince us that the reapers are real and responsible for the prothean extinction," Sparatus said.

"We're still working on the rest, Shepard," Anderson said.

"We don't know that the reapers are actually still around, and we don't know that they are coming to attack us. If Sovereign has been here, in hiding since the time of the protheans, it is completely possible that its attempts to gain access to the Citadel were little more than wishful thinking that there were still others waiting on the other side," Valern said.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. She had managed to change the Council's stance on the reapers, but only just barely. They were still going to be as big of an obstacle as they ever were for Jane.

"Commander, you have been gone for two years and now you are working with Cerberus. Any evidence you present will be immediately suspect and will require independent verification. What evidence do you have that the collectors are responsible for the missing colonists? What evidence do you have that they are working for the reapers?" Tevos asked.

Shepard opened her omni-tool and forwarded the video footage from Freedom's Progress to each of the councilors, "This footage was taken directly from the security feeds at the last location the collectors hit. It clearly shows the collectors abducting human colonists. I don't yet have proof that they are working for the reapers, but as soon as I have it, I will send it to you."

"As Councilor Tevos said, we will have to verify this evidence. The problem still stands, however, that the colonies that have been attacked are outside of Council space. We have no jurisdiction in the Terminus Systems," Valern said.

"Unfortunately, the Alliance has no jurisdiction there either," Anderson said. "Not on that scale. We can lend aid directly to human colonies, but we are not able to police the area, Shepard."

"Which leaves me with little choice. Either I do nothing and let the attacks continue, or I stay with Cerberus and use their resources to find a way to stop this. It is not ideal for me, but I will do what needs to be done," Shepard said.

"I am sorry, Commander, but there is no aid that we can offer you other than to show our support through reinstating your Spectre status. It will mean nothing in the Terminus Systems, but it will help shield you while you are in Citadel space," Tevos said.

"Thank you, Councilor," Shepard said. "I will continue to send you whatever I find, regardless. If it is something that can be used by the Council, then it is best to be prepared for whatever is coming."

"Indeed, thank you, Commander," Tevos said before ending the call.

Shepard stood staring at the empty hologram comms, "No offense, Anderson but this Council is unbelievable."

Anderson chuckled, "You're telling me, I've had to work with them every day since you offered me up to fill the slot."

Shepard made a show of wincing, "Yeah… sorry about that. No way was I going to recommend Udina."

Anderson chuckled and pulled Shepard into a hug. She squeezed him tight before pulling away to look at his face. He looked older; the Council was doing a number on the man that was for sure. There were more gray hairs lining his temples and the fine lines around his eyes weren't as fine anymore.

"Christ, look at your face. Those scars. What did they do to you, Shepard?" Anderson asked.

 _"_ _They cut us open and the scraped and drilled and pumped us full of things. They put metal parts and tubes inside of us and left them there,"_ Jane said.

"I don't know all the details, and to be honest I'm pretty sure I don't want to. What I do know is that they somehow got a hold of my corpse and spent the last two years cutting me open, cleaning me out, replacing broken parts, and implanting me with cybernetics. The cybernetics are actually pretty useful," Shepard said.

"But why? Don't get me wrong, I'm sure glad as hell to see you on your feet, but I don't understand why Cerberus would invest so much into you," Anderson said.

Shepard half shrugged, "The leader of Cerberus is a man who calls himself 'Illusive Man'. I've only been allowed to speak to him through holo-comms. A quantum entangler something or other. He claims it's because of what I represent to humanity, and because he believes the reapers are coming. He put me in charge of stopping this thing with the collectors."

"Huh. I suppose I understand that. You are a symbol of power and strength, hope and perseverance to the Alliance. Your loss was felt deeply," Anderson said.

"Listen, Anderson, I know that I can't be seen as a part of the Alliance anymore. But I want you to know that in my heart, I'm still Alliance. I'm not working for Cerberus, I'm making those sons-of-bitches work for me. Anything and everything that I get on Cerberus, the collectors, the reapers – all of it, it's yours. You have my word," Shepard said gripping the man's shoulder.

Anderson studied her quietly for a moment before nodding his head, "That is good to hear, Commander. Very good to hear. I will give you whatever support I can."

"They've got the whole ship bugged up and so don't consider my accounts to be secured connections. I've been scanned for bugs myself recently, it seems they haven't taken the step of bugging my gear. I don't want to give them any reason to change their minds about that. Still, I'll check regularly," Shepard said.

"Good idea. Here let me give you this program the Council gave me when I joined. It'll let you know anytime you're near any type of covert device," Anderson said.

"Thanks, that will come in handy," Shepard said. "I need to know, before the Normandy went down, I had talked to Hackett and he agreed that Liara T'Soni could join the research team on Mars. There was reason to believe that plans for a device capable of defeating the reapers is buried somewhere in the prothean ruins on Mars. I need to know if they're still looking, if they found anything?"

"Yes, I heard that Dr. T'Soni was lost in the attack as well. You have my condolences, Shepard. I'm sure that loosing Dr. T'Soni and Gunnery Chief Williams has been very hard for you. It's never easy losing someone on your team," Anderson said squeezing Shepard's shoulder. "I don't know about the plans but I can speak to Hackett for you."

 _"_ _And it's your fault. You stood there and let the collectors kill us. It's my fault, never should have told you. Now we're alive and they're dead,"_ Jane said.

"Thank you, sir. If you find anything out, just send me a message asking me to meet with you in private. I don't want Cerberus to know anything about this," Shepard said. "And be sure to tell Hackett that if I'm on the Normandy SR-2, he has to assume that any transmissions he sends me are being cataloged by Cerberus. I'll see if I can find a clear spot for private conversations with what you gave me. Until then, though, don't take chances."

"Shepard, before you go, I have something I need to ask you. It might be a bit difficult for you to talk about, but I have to ask," Anderson said.

Shepard raised a brow, "What is it, sir?"

"A few weeks after the attacks on the Normandy, I decided on a hunch to check the final communications of all Alliance personnel aboard the Normandy at the time of the attack," Anderson said.

All of the color drained from Shepard's face and her mouth dried out. She stood very still, like a deer caught in the headlights.

"I, uh, I found that some messages had been delivered to some of the Alliance crew a couple of weeks after the Normandy went offline," Anderson continued.

Anderson waited a moment for Shepard to speak but she said nothing.

"Shepard, you know what I found," Anderson said.

"Anderson, I – I…," Shepard tried to speak but her mouth was so dry and she couldn't find the words.

"Sit down, kid. You look like you're about to fall over," Anderson led her to a chair. "Here, let me get you some water."

 _"_ _He knows. He knows about us. He'll make you stop messing everything up. He's going to lock you away where you can't hurt anyone else. Where we can't hurt anyone else,"_ Jane said.

Anderson brought over two glasses of water and sat down in a chair next to Shepard. Shepard took a long drink from the glass before setting it down carefully on his desk.

"Anderson, listen, I know it sounds crazy. It's why I didn't come to you or anyone higher up on the chain with it but you have to believe me, it's real," Shepard said.

"How, Shepard? How can this… Jane be real? You've got to level with me here, kid because it isn't making a whole lot of sense," Anderson said.

"I don't know how, Anderson. I swear I don't, but she's real and she's shown me so much already that has already come to pass and I… I don't know, gods, I don't know!" Shepard said rubbing her hands over her face and through her hair.

Anderson sat back in his chair and crossed one leg over the other. He watched Shepard in silence, tapping a finger against the smooth surface of his desk.

"Like what? Sovereign? Saren? The reapers?" Anderson finally asked.

"All of it, Anderson. Though she's being a little more difficult right now. She's trying to withhold information from me," Shepard said.

"Withhold information? Why?" Anderson asked.

"She uh, she stayed conscious this time. Through my death and everything Cerberus did to bring me back… she's not stable. They're not stable," Shepard said.

"OK, Commander. Assume I'm willing to try to believe this. What can you tell me, how can you prove this?" Anderson asked.

"Why are you even willing to try?" Shepard asked.

"Well, to be honest with you Commander when I found that first video I thought you had cracked. I must have watched it a hundred times trying to make sense out of it all. I tried to think of some other way that you could have known about the attack on the Normandy and everything else," Anderson said.

"A part of me wanted to believe that you were a double-agent – working for the reapers or something, but I couldn't convince myself of that. So, I searched through all of the accounts that I could and I erased all evidence of those messages ever being there. I only had access to the Alliance accounts, mind you, but I wanted to make sure no one else ever saw them. I wanted to make sure your memory wasn't tarnished in any way," he said.

"So no one else saw them?" Shepard asked relief sweeping over her.

 _"_ _Why isn't he locking us up?"_ Jane asked.

Anderson shook his head, "Then when I start getting reports of you being alive again… Well, if it weren't for my having seen the wreckage with my own eyes and Joker swearing on his pilot's license that he watched you get spaced… What other answer is there? You knew you were going to die, you knew Cerberus would bring you back to life. And you let it happen."

"It was the only way to be sure I'd be where I needed to be to fight the collectors… the reapers. I tried, Anderson, but I couldn't find anything solid that wouldn't hurt us more in the long run," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Should have tried something else. Anything else. Liara and Ashely would still be alive and we wouldn't have been cut open. It hurt. Gods it hurt,"_ Jane said.

"No other way?" Anderson asked.

"I was running out of time, Anderson. It was the right call," Shepard said.

Anderson grunted, "Give me some proof, Shepard."

"I know that there is a woman named Kahlee Sanders who now works for Grissom Academy. The two of you used to be involved. I know that you still care about her, and you miss her," Shepard said.

Anderson rubbed a hand across his mouth, "I haven't talked to anyone about Kahlee in years. Still, I'm going to need something more than that, Shepard."

"I don't know what else to say to convince you, Anderson. I can tell you all about what's to come but you'd have to wait to see it before you could believe it. The only thing I have is to tell you things that I learned about you over the upcoming years," Shepard said.

"Alright, start at the beginning, Commander," Anderson said.

And so she did. She told him everything she could remember about what the early days were like for her, having found the beacon and then thinking that everything she was experiencing after that was caused by the beacon. She told him about the way she found that she just knew where enemies were going to be, or how to diffuse a bomb instantly. She told him about the joining with Liara, and Liara's discovery of 'the veil'. Shepard told him about how it damaged her brain when all the voices screamed in her mind that first time.

Shepard told Anderson about Dr. Tulina being called in by Dr. Chakwas, and all the work that Dr. Tulina had done to help Shepard interact with 'the veil'. How through attempting to reach out and learning to mediate she became better and better at communicating with 'the veil' and learned the truth about Jane. How Jane begged her to find a way to break her cycle, so Shepard started trying to change things as much as she could. She started doing anything that she thought might make the Council believe her, make them take action. She started doing anything she could to prepare the galaxy for the reapers and for the war, thinking that maybe that was the way to do it.

She told him how when she was dying, lost adrift in space and suffocating, Jane was finally able to completely breakthrough. She told him how terrified she was, and how terrified Jane sounded in her mind, confused as to why she felt like she was dying, too. How when she woke up again, on that cold, steel slab in a Cerberus lab, Jane ranted like a madwoman in her head.

Her omni-tool beeped at her. She stopped to check it; it was from Kirrahe he said he was outside of the embassies and waiting for her.

"Anderson, I'm sorry. I know that there is still so much more you need to hear, but I have to go. The salarian we worked with on Virmire, Kirrahe, is waiting for me outside. I can't miss this meeting with him," Shepard said. "He was invaluable on the Citadel and has offered his support in the past. I need to touch base with him to make sure that offer still stands. I can tell my crew they have more time to shop around on the Citadel and come back later, if you'd like?"

Shepard could swear the man looked like he had seen a ghost. He wasn't even that shaken to see her, a dead woman, walk in through his door.

"Are you alright, sir?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah… I'm just processing. Go, meet with Kirrahe. Get us every drop of support you can, Shepard. I've got some meetings to attend to, but I'll be free in a couple of hours," Anderson said standing on shaky legs.

Shepard turned to leave and Anderson put a hand on her arm to stop her. She turned back around and he pulled her in for another tight hug.

"I'm so sorry, kid," Anderson whispered in her ear. "All of you, I guess. I'm so sorry."

 _"_ _Anderson…,"_ Jane sounded wistful.

Shepard patted him on the back and left his office. She couldn't believe the massive sense of relief she was feeling. Having Anderson know and believe her was huge. Maybe even game-changer-huge. Out in the hall she called up EDI on her mic.

"EDI, can you please inform the crew that I am extending our time on the Citadel by a few hours. Some things have come up that need my attention. I will notify them again when I'm ready to leave. Also, please ask Mordin to meet me at the embassies right away, if he can," Shepard said.

"Right away, Shepard. Professor Solus says he is headed to you now," EDI said.

"Thanks, EDI," Shepard said.

"Of course, Shepard," EDI replied.

Shepard made her way down to the embassies and spotted Kirrahe right away. He was flanked by a few of his men, salarians she recognized from Virmire. Shepard wove through the crowd until she stood in front of his team.

"Captain, thank you for meeting with me," Shepard said.

"Commander Shepard. I had to see you for myself to believe the rumors. It's Major now. Good to see you," Kirrahe said.

"My apologies and congratulations on the promotion. I hope you don't mind but I invited Professor Mordin Solus to join us. He is working with me now and I thought he might be able to help fill you in on what we're facing. He should be here any moment," Shepard said.

"Ah! Mordin Solus! It will be good to see him again. He served under me for a time. Oh, look, I see him now," Kirrahe pointed.

Shepard turned her head and saw Mordin making his way through the crowd. She smiled when she saw Mordin locate her standing next to Kirrahe and the small flicker of shock crossed his face. Shepard waved him over and Mordin came to stand next to her.

"Kirrahe. Has been many years. Was not aware that you knew Shepard. Good to see you," Mordin said shaking Kirrahe's hand before clasping his hands behind his back.

"It is good to see you as well, Solus. You fell out of contact with everyone. We could only speculate that you were still alive," Kirrahe said.

"Found things to keep occupied. Never best at… communicating," Mordin said before turning to Shepard. "Shepard, how can I help?"

"I was hoping that you could help me to explain our findings on the collectors to the Major here and his men," Shepard said.

"Major? Congratulations," Mordin said.

Kirrahe nodded his thanks.

"I was sent to aid Kirrahe on Virmire and by some miracle was able to convince him of the reaper threat when few others were willing to listen. He offered me his support then, and was able to draw in a few others from STG. They were there on the Citadel that day, helping to fight the geth because of my warnings," Shepard explained.

"Happy to explain. Perhaps another location? Less noise. Less people," Mordin said.

Kirrahe and Shepard both agreed with that sentiment and the entire group moved to a small, quiet café outside of the embassies. The place was surprisingly empty considering the vast number of people on the Presidium who frequented the area. Shepard took one drink from a coffee she ordered and understood why. She idly wondered how the place was even still in business.

They sat there for about a half hour while Shepard and Mordin filled Kirrahe and his men in on the abductions of human colonies in the Terminus Systems. Mordin also explained to Kirrahe his belief that the plague on Omega was created by the collectors as an experimental means to learn about other species, perhaps as a precursor to attacking other species more directly. Kirrahe and his men mostly stayed quiet, only occasionally asking a question about specific locations and the numbers taken.

Eventually, the conversation turned to Shepard as she knew it would. That was the other reason why she had invited Mordin. She hoped that his word would carry some credence, helping Kirrahe to trust that she was indeed Shepard still and was still focused on the threat at hand. That she wasn't lost to the twisted ways of Cerberus. Much to Shepard's chagrin, Mordin opened up his omni-tool and showed Kirrahe and his men the scans he had taken of Shepard on Omega. They exchanged a few comments using words well beyond Shepard's understanding before nodding in agreement. She was just happy that they were satisfied.

Kirrahe said that they had to go shortly after that but promised to stay in touch with Shepard. She promised him that she would keep him apprised of any developments and thanked him again for his continued support. Shepard dismissed Mordin who was eager to return to his lab aboard the Normandy. When he was gone, she sat alone in the café staring out the window watching people go by. She shifted her gaze and her eyes caught sight of Thane Krios standing in the middle of the crowd watching her. She started to stand and he disappeared.

"Yeah, that's not creepy," she muttered.

Toying with her, she thought. Shepard transferred a more than generous tip to the kiosk on the table and left the café. Just to avoid pissing off the drell and making him decide to snap her neck after all, Shepard turned the opposite way from where she saw him. She had time to kill, so she decided to wander around the Zakera wards for a while.

She stopped in a few shops and used her notoriety to convince them to give her discounts. She didn't need the discounts, Cerberus was keeping her well-funded, but she was bored and it was something to do. She remembered Jane doing the same thing from time to time. She ruined a krogan's day by telling him that the lakes on the Presidium did not have any fish in them but then offered to buy him a fish at the gift shop. He said it wasn't the same and pouted as she left.

She detoured to come to the rescue of a young quarian being harassed by an asshole volus and a C-Sec officer. Once the officer and volus left, Shepard offered to buy the quarian something to eat. She could tell that the woman's pride was encouraging her to say no, so Shepard started talking about Tali and Tali's pilgrimage. She warmed up to Shepard after that and let Shepard take her into the nearest dextro-friendly restaurant. She said her name was Lia'Vael nar Ulnay.

"I can't believe you helped Rael'Zorah's daughter with her pilgrimage!" Lia said.

Shepard chuckled, "Well, to be fair, I think she probably did more to help me than I did to help her."

"Really?" Lia asked.

"Oh yeah, Tali's information on the geth and the recording she had of Saren and Matriarch Benezia made a world of difference. Without her help, I don't know if the Council would have ever believed that one of their Spectres had gone rogue," Shepard said.

Shepard glanced out the window and saw Garrus standing against a wall with his arms crossed watching her. She lifted her hand hesitantly and waved. He pushed away from the wall and walked away without looking back. The devastation she had been feeling anytime Garrus came to mind must have been evident on her face.

"Is everything alright, Commander Shepard?" Lia asked.

Shepard looked back to the young quarian and shook her head, "Yeah, I'll be fine. Just, uh, guy trouble. So, have you been on the Citadel for your whole Pilgrimage?"

Lia turned her body to look out the window, trying to catch sight of whoever Shepard had been looking at before turning back to Shepard.

"Mostly, though to be honest I'm not sure what I was thinking by coming here of all places," Lia said.

"How so?" Shepard asked.

The quarian shrugged and pushed food around on her plate, "You saw the way those two treated me. Most people don't act much differently. You're probably the first person in weeks to just sit and have a conversation with me."

Shepard frowned, "I'm sorry to hear that Lia, have you thought about going somewhere else?"

"I don't really know where else to go, and every bit of money I have I am trying to save for a ship," Lia said.

"Well, I tell you what, if you think of someplace else you want to go, let me know. Here's my extranet address. I'll take you wherever you want," Shepard said.

"Oh, but I can't afford to pay you for transport," Lia said.

"I'm not asking you to pay me, Lia. I'm constantly going all over the galaxy for my missions and I have to frequently visit the Citadel. It wouldn't be putting me out at all, I promise," Shepard said.

"Really? You would do that for me?" Lia asked.

Shepard shrugged, "Sure, why not? I mean, I can't drop everything to come get you if I'm on the other side of the galaxy so you might end up having to wait until I need to come back to the Citadel to report in or something, and you might have to spend a little time on the Normandy until I can get you where you're going but either way it shouldn't be more than a few weeks at most."

"Wow. That is… I don't even know what to say. I mean, thank you. I will give it some thought. I can't believe… thank you, Commander Shepard," Lia said.

Shepard chuckled, "You're welcome, Lia."

Shepard's omni-tool beeped and she looked to see it was Anderson telling her he was available. She stood up and reached a hand out for the quarian to shake. Lia started to stand, too.

"No, you stay, enjoy your dinner. I insist. It's already been paid for so no worries. I've got a meeting that I have to go to. It was nice meeting you Lia'Vael nar Ulnay. Keep in touch," Shepard said.

"Oh, I will! Thank you again, Commander Shepard!" Lia said.

Shepard gave the quarian one last wave as she left the restaurant to make her way back to Anderson's office. She was rounding a corner when she nearly ran right into Garrus.

"Shit! Garrus, sorry… I didn't know you were there," Shepard said.

"Was that a new recruit?" Garrus asked.

Shepard took a moment to process his question, surprised not only by his sudden presence but by the fact he was speaking to her when it wasn't necessary.

"Huh? Oh, uh, no. Just met her. She's on her Pilgrimage and having a rough time of things. Thought I'd get her something to eat and someone to talk to for a few minutes who sees her as something more than a vagrant," Shepard said. "So… uh, were you waiting for me? Did you need something or…"

"That drell assassin has been following you," Garrus said.

Shepard glanced around, "Uh, yeah, I saw him briefly earlier. He let me see him, anyway. Did he talk to you or something?"

"No, but since you seemed fond of following him into dark alleys by yourself I thought I should make sure you knew. It would really blow a hole in this mission if he decided to break your neck," Garrus said.

"Gods, Garrus and here I was thinking that maybe you actually cared about me for two seconds. Don't worry about Thane, if he wanted me dead, I'd already be dead. He's probably just curious," Shepard said feeling her frustration rising. "You know, since we have to work together on this, do you think that you could at least _try_ to not hate me? It would make both of our lives easier, don't you think?"

Garrus studied her, his face perfectly still, "I don't hate you Shepard. I could never hate you. Sometimes I wish I could, it would have made the last two years a lot easier."

Shepard looked at her feet, "Listen, Garrus, I know I fucked up things with you bad. I put way too much on you, asked for far more from you than I had any right… I know that I can never make that right. I'm trying to you know, respect your space and not push you to talk or whatever. But you got to understand, it's been two years for you but for me it's only been a few days since… since I was in your arms and it's… it's going to take me some time to adjust."

She looked up again and saw that he was still watching her with his cold eyes and it made her cringe.

"If you need to yell at me or, hell, if you want to knock me on my ass, I get it. I won't stop you," Shepard said.

"Spirits, Shepard. I'm not going to hit you," Garrus said.

"Why not? I would," Shepard said.

Garrus chuffed and Shepard's eyes fluttered closed against the rush of emotion such a simple sound pulled through her heart. Tears started to sting her eyes and she blinked them away. When she focused on him again she thought that his might just look a little softer but a moment later it was gone. She figured it was probably just wishful thinking.

"I uh, I should go. Anderson is waiting for me. He uh, he found some of my failsafe videos and… well he's had a lot of questions," Shepard said starting to walk past.

Suddenly Garrus' hand was closing around her arm, stopping her. It felt like fire on her skin, and her whole body flushed in response. Garrus pulled his hand away quickly.

"Wait, you're saying Anderson knows about Jane?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah. He does now. He hasn't told anyone else. Deleted the videos after he watched them. Didn't want my reputation to be tarnished; his words," Shepard scoffed. "Of course, I ruined that by showing back up in a Cerberus vessel. At least the Council still decided to reinstate me."

"Hmmm. So, how is he taking the news?" Garrus asked.

"It could be worse. He believes me, so that's a huge relief," Shepard said. "Do you, uh… do you want to come with me? I mean, you know most of this already…"

Garrus tapped a finger against his thigh and clicked his mandibles against his jaw a few times in thought before nodding. Shepard turned and started walking before he could see the smile that was creeping up on her face. It was a start.

Shepard walked into Anderson's office with Garrus behind her. Anderson looked up from his desk then stood to greet them.

"Shepard, I'm glad you waited around. And you brought, Garrus Vakarian, wasn't it?" Anderson asked.

"Yes, Councilor," Garrus responded.

Anderson made a harrumphing sound in his throat, "Please, Anderson is fine. This isn't a formal meeting and sometimes I like to try and forget that circus for a few minutes."

Garrus chuckled lightly and Shepard's heart skipped a beat.

"Please, have a seat make yourselves comfortable. I take it Vakarian here knows what we're going to be talking about?" Anderson asked Shepard.

"Yeah, I've told him more than anyone else before the – before you," Shepard said.

"I see," Anderson said retrieving a bottle of amber liquid from a cabinet in his desk. "I got to tell you, Shepard, I'm a little wounded that you never brought this to me."

Anderson moved across the room to another cabinet and brought back a second bottle and three glasses. He held the bottles up for approval and when Shepard and Garrus both nodded; he poured the three of them a drink, making sure to keep Garrus' separate.

"C'mon, Anderson. You wouldn't have had any choice but to send me to see every Alliance shrink on the payroll," Shepard said.

Anderson grunted. He knew it was the truth, even if he didn't like it. He handed Garrus a glass before picking up another to hand to Shepard and keeping one for himself. Shepard took a swallow of the bourbon in her glass before nodding in approval.

"So, you were saying that when you regained consciousness, Jane wasn't making a lot of sense?" Anderson said.

Shepard nodded slowly, "I'm going to backtrack a little, if you don't mind. I uh, haven't had the opportunity to fill Garrus in on anything after the Normandy was hit."

"Sure, I don't mind," Anderson said.

Shepard glanced sidelong at Garrus to see he was staring at the drink in his hand. She cleared her throat.

"So, when I was… uh, losing consciousness something changed and suddenly, Jane was just there. I mean like, completely there. I could hear her perfectly, and just remembered everything she lived through. That they all lived through, I guess," Shepard began shifting in her seat.

She took another swallow of her drink, "She was scared, and said that she could feel everything that I was feeling. She, uh, she said it felt like she was dying, too."

Shepard saw Garrus finally stop staring at the drink and knocked it back, draining the glass. Anderson leaned forward and pushed the bottle of turian brandy towards Garrus. Garrus muttered a thank you before pouring himself another.

"When I woke up again, Jane was still there but she sounded insane," Shepard paused when Jane interrupted her.

 _"_ _We're not insane. You're insane, this is insane. This whole gods be damned universe is insane,"_ Jane said.

"Commander?" Anderson asked.

"Sorry, she uh, didn't care for my saying that too much," Shepard said and killed her drink.

She didn't wait for Anderson to offer her another; instead she rose to her feet and leaned over the desk to swipe the bottle for herself. Anderson smirked but didn't say anything.

"So, she was telling me all about how much it hurt, for them to cut me open and do… whatever the hell it was they did to bring me back. She says she was conscious for the whole thing, she felt it all. She just kept saying that it hurt so bad," Shepard put the cap back on the bottle and set it down where she could reach it again. "'Course, I didn't actually feel it. I mean, yeah, I was sore when I woke up but I didn't feel anything when it was happening."

Shepard sat back down in her chair a few feet from Garrus. His eyes were on her now, she could feel them but she didn't turn to look at him.

"It's been a little difficult to concentrate when she's worked up but she seems to be calming down at least a little. Thing is; now she's convinced that asking me to change things to break this cycle was a bad idea. She keeps telling me they don't like the changes and want me to stop," Shepard took a drink.

 _"_ _It was a bad idea. A terrible idea. Things went sideways. We never should have told you anything. You don't even see how different things are now. Without Liara, we may never find the plans for the Crucible. The reapers will win, we won't be able to stop them and everyone will die!"_ Jane said.

"I told her that wasn't going to happen. I can't put things back the way they were, and besides for that, I've got no interest in repeating this cycle with her and the rest of them," Shepard said.

"Some things have already been pretty different since I woke up compared to the others. Tali wasn't on Freedom's Progress and neither was the other quarian, Veetor. In other times, Veetor would have collected data on the seekers and it would have really helped us to develop an antidote. It's not going to stop us, of course, but now I have to come up with something else," Shepard took a long pull from the glass.

"Garrus wasn't where he normally would be, but that was expected since I tried to warn him of what could happen on Omega," Shepard's eyes flicked briefly over to him before looking back at Anderson.

"More importantly, and the most regretfully, Ashley and Liara are… dead," Shepard knocked back the drink.

 _"_ _They're dead and it's your fault! It's our fault. We never should have told you. We were wrong; we got it all wrong, Dawn. Nothing was supposed to change,"_ Jane said.

"Damn it, this isn't doing anything. Fucking Cerberus implants," Shepard poured herself a third drink anyway. "I'll buy you another bottle. And amazingly the Council isn't completely disregarding the reapers."

"They're not?" Garrus asked.

Anderson shook his head, "Only publicly. Until they can find proof that the reapers are intent on, and capable of leaving dark space to attack us."

Garrus killed his drink and poured another. Shepard started to pace the room carrying her glass with her; she could feel the eyes of the two men tracking her movements.

"She's fighting me now. Trying to keep information from me," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Because you're ruining everything. Everyone is dying and you broke Garrus. You can't stop the reapers. They're still coming, they're going to kill us all because of you,"_ Jane said.

Garrus chuffed, "That's… ironic."

Shepard glanced at him, "And incredibly annoying."

"Like what?" Anderson asked.

"Well, yesterday on the ship I was trying to think of another way to get Mordin – he's a salarian scientist on my new team – the information he needs to create a counteragent to the swarms when a name came to mind: James Vega. It was like I could see his face there, for just a second and then Jane was slamming the door closed in my face," Shepard said.

"I'm sorry, did you say James Vega?" Anderson asked.

"Yeah, you know him?" Shepard stopped pacing.

"I know of him. He's Alliance. Do you know him?" Anderson asked.

Shepard shrugged, "Not yet. I normally wouldn't meet him until you post him as a guard while I'm serving time for this whole fiasco."

"Hmm. You think he's important somehow?" Anderson asked.

 _"_ _No, no he's not important. Leave him alone. Just leave everyone alone,"_ Jane said.

"I don't know. It seems like he must be since he was what came to mind. Jane just yelled at me though, told me I was changing too much and to stay away from him so I didn't end up killing him, too," Shepard said running a hand over her face. "She blames me for Ashley and Liara."

"I'll pull his files see what I can tell you about him, I'll have to be discrete, though so it'll have to wait for now," Anderson said.

Shepard nodded her head, "Thanks, Anderson."

"Commander, what can you tell me about what we should be expecting?" Anderson asked.

She resumed her pacing, "Well, the collectors are abducting human colonists to use them as… I don't know – an ingredient? – In a new form of reaper. It looks like a human."

 _"_ _No, stop it, you shouldn't be telling them this! What if you break Anderson, too?"_ Jane said.

"Spirits," Garrus said quietly.

"Unless I've really fucked things up, my team and I will destroy the human-reaper and stop the collectors. I uh… I might have to destroy a relay in batarian space… it's going to kill off hundreds of thousands," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Stop it, Dawn. Just shut up. Shut up!"_ Jane yelled frantically.

"What?! Shepard, you can't go destroying a relay!" Anderson said.

"If I don't the reapers are going to use that relay to come through and they'll be on us in days… from when I would normally find out about it anyway. If I do, it buys us more time. Trust me, Anderson, I don't like the idea and I will try to find another way. Any other way now that I have advanced warning," Shepard said.

 _"_ _No, you can't. You have to destroy the relay. It has to be done. It always has to be done,"_ Jane said.

Anderson leaned forward and put his elbows on his desk rubbing his temples with his hands.

"That's huge, Shepard. A move like that… it could cause a whole other war," Anderson said.

"I know, Anderson. Gods, I know," Shepard said.

Garrus knocked back another drink before pouring another and doing the same to the next. How many had he already had? She wasn't sure, but he was filling the glass pretty full each time. More than half the bottle was gone already. How full was it when Anderson showed it to them? She couldn't remember. Shepard had never seen him drink so much so quickly but she wasn't about to tell him to stop. She didn't think he'd appreciate that in the slightest. She'd make sure he got back to the Normandy when they left.

"After we take down the collectors, I turn the new Normandy and myself over to the Alliance. I'm imprisoned for my actions with Cerberus and the relay. It's while I'm serving my sentence that the reapers hit," Shepard stopped pacing.

She suddenly yelled into the room, "Gods damn it Jane, stop this shit!"

Garrus and Anderson both flinched at her sudden outburst. Jane was throwing up walls, fighting to keep Shepard from saying anything else. Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose.

 _"_ _No, no Dawn. This has to stop. You can't tell them. You can't change anything else, we won't let you! Everyone is going to die because of you. This isn't making things better; it's making it all worse!"_ Jane said.

"Commander, are you alright?" Anderson asked.

Shepard grimaced; her head was starting to hurt, "I can't get through. She's shut me out again. Gods, my head is starting to throb."

Garrus stood, "Should I call Dr. Chakwas? This isn't like before, is it?"

Shepard opened her eyes and looked at Garrus. The alcohol was loosening him up a bit it seemed. She caught the slight sway of his body telling her he was definitely drunk. Concern filled his eyes and it made her heart break a little.

"No, I'm alright. I just think that's all I'm going to be able to tell you guys tonight," Shepard said.

"Are you sure, Commander? I'm sure Dr. Chakwas wouldn't mind coming up to check on you here if you want. You shouldn't push this thing too much. I had no idea that your injuries were so serious before," Anderson said.

"I'm sure, I'll be alright. I'll get her to give me something when I'm back on the ship if I need it. I'll uh, I'll be in touch, Anderson," Shepard said.

Anderson stood and walked Shepard and a wobbly Garrus to the door, "Is he going to make it back alright?"

"Yeah, I got him. We'll be alright," Shepard said.

"I'm not that drunk," Garrus said.

Shepard and Anderson both chuckled.

"Yeah you are, come on let's get you back to the Normandy," Shepard said.

When the door to Anderson's office closed, Shepard tapped her comm, "EDI? Call everyone back to the Normandy, please."

"Right away, Shepard," EDI responded.

The lights on the Citadel had dimmed, simulating night. The stars were visible around them as Shepard stayed close behind Garrus to make sure he wasn't going to fall over or anything. She almost walked right into his back when he abruptly stopped. Shepard stepped around him so she could see his face.

"You alright? You're not going to puke or anything are you?" Shepard asked.

Try as she might, the drinks she had were having zero effect on her. It would take something a lot stronger to get her drunk these days. Or at least a whole lot more of the usual stuff. Garrus swayed on his feet and chuffed. Her heart raced in response. She saw the iris of his visor constrict.

"Lie to me, Shepard," Garrus said.

Shepard chuckled, "What? Why?"

"Lie to me. Tell me you don't love me. That you never did. That everything you said on that damn video was a lie," his eyes filled with pain.

Shepard swallowed and slowly shook her head, "I can't do that, Garrus. I'm sorry."

Cold anger swept back in to fill his voice and eyes, "Of course not."

Shepard's eyes filled with tears and she brushed them violently away.

"Come on, let's get you back to the Normandy so you can sleep this off," Shepard said turning away.

He put a hand on her shoulder to stop her and she turned back around.

"I don't want to do this right now, Garrus. Not while you're this drunk. It's not fair to either of us," Shepard said.

He reached a hand out and brushed his fingertips down the side of her face, tracing the glowing scars that were etched into her skin. More tears forced their way out of her eyes. Shepard gently pulled his hand away from her face; this was killing her all over again.

"I thought I was supposed to be the one with the scars?" Garrus asked swaying again.

"You changed that, on Omega. Whatever you did differently… well, you avoided a rocket to the face. Lucky you, right?" Shepard said.

"Lucky? No, Shepard. I wasn't lucky. There was nothing lucky for me these last two years. Just loneliness, and death, and anger. Lots of alcohol. A few women to take the edge off. They hated me afterwards. All except Sarat," Garrus said making Shepard wince. "She never got it; there was never anything more there. Not for her. I told her that before anything ever happened. Made sure she knew it could never be anything more. She just never got it. Now she's dead, too."

"I'm sorry, Garrus. I hope you know that. I hope you know that the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you," Shepard said.

"But you did, Dawn," Garrus said.

Shepard's head dropped to look at her feet and to hide the tears in her eyes. He hadn't called her Dawn since before she died. She felt his hand wrap around the back of her head and a second later his forehead was pressing into hers. Shepard's shoulders began to shake with suppressed sobs. She put her hands up to hide her face. His other arm snaked around her waist and he pulled her against his chest in an embrace.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, oblivious to the few people still milling about on the Citadel as Shepard pulled herself together. When she started to pull away from Garrus, she heard his low growl and stopped. He buried his face in her neck and hair and pulled in a deep breath. She couldn't help the heat that flooded her body but she could help keep him from doing something he would obviously regret when he sobered up.

Shepard put her hands against his chest and gently pushed him away, "Garrus, stop."

He resisted at first, breathing in deeply again and she could swear she heard him whimper.

"Garrus, you don't want to do this. Not really. It's the alcohol talking. Come on, let's get you back to the Normandy," Shepard said pushing him a little harder.

He stopped fighting her and let her pull away. She could see an almost feral hunger in his eyes. She had no doubt he was probably seeing the same in her own.

"Spirits," he grumbled before shuffling his feet forward towards the Normandy's docks.


	27. Chapter 4: It's A Good Plan

Chapter 4: It's A Good Plan

Shepard lay in her bed tossing and turning. She fought with the sheets that insisted on wrapping themselves around her in the most uncomfortable way possible. Her heart was telling her to go find Garrus, to drag his drunken ass back to her bed; the rest would work itself out later. Maybe that was her body talking. Her head told them both to shut up, that it was a stupid idea to try to fix things with him in any shape while he was intoxicated.

She tried to distract herself by prying at the walls that Jane was still so stubbornly holding in place. She wasn't getting anywhere with it besides giving herself another headache. Shepard sighed and flopped over onto her stomach. Shepard growled her frustration out at the room and rolled back over; grabbing a pillow she flung it across the room.

"Commander Shepard, do you require assistance?" EDI's voice asked.

"I envy you, EDI," Shepard said.

"Why is that, Shepard?" EDI asked.

"Because, you don't need to sleep or worry about bad dreams. You don't need to struggle to keep your eyes open after a long, sleepless night leaves you exhausted," Shepard said.

"Dr. Chakwas has medications that can help you sleep, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard groaned and rubbed her face. "Yeah, but they'll leave me groggy the next day. And it makes it harder to wake up if there is an emergency."

"I see. My databases suggest that there are herbal supplements that can be ingested that help to induce sleep without undesired side effects. I can put in a requisition for you if you like," EDI said.

"Sure, EDI. Why not?" Shepard said.

"Very well, Shepard. Your order has been placed," EDI said.

"Thanks, EDI," said Shepard.

"Is there anything else that I can do for you, Shepard?" EDI asked.

"No. I think I'll just get up and wander the ship for a while. That usually helps," Shepard said.

"Logging you out, Shepard," said EDI.

Shepard got out of bed and retrieved the pillow she threw before rummaging around in her footlocker. She grabbed a plain black tank top, one of the few things she had that didn't have a Cerberus logo on it and a pair of pajama bottoms. She pulled the clothes on before wrapping a robe around herself and leaving the cabin with bare feet. She called for the elevator and leaned against the wall until the doors opened.

She took the elevator down to the CIC and glanced around at the skeleton crew. They were all Cerberus. Men and women she didn't know anything about. She had tried talking to a couple of them before, but none of them seemed interested in idle chit chat with Cerberus' walking Lazarus Project. They were just here to do their jobs. Shepard made her way towards the cockpit and was surprised to see Joker still sitting in the pilot's chair. She started to sit down in the co-pilot's seat next to him when she realized he was asleep. She smiled and took her robe off, draping it over him like a blanket and turned back towards the CIC.

She called the elevator again and took it down another level. Rounding the corner, she spotted Grundan Krul sitting at one of the tables in the mess hall. Shepard wasn't expecting to find anyone up still. She paused and debated turning back the other way but decided it was as good a time as any to get to know the batarian. She grabbed a mug from the kitchen area and carried it back to the table before pointing at the pot of coffee the Grundan Krul had sitting in front of him.

"Care if I steal some of that?" Shepard asked.

The batarian nodded to her and she poured herself a cup. Shepard held the steaming liquid to her mouth to blow across the top of the mug.

"Shepard, my databases indicate that consuming caffeinated beverages is counterproductive to sleep," EDI said.

Shepard chuckled. "Yeah… I know. Thanks, EDI."

EDI stayed quiet, no doubt trying to understand human logic.

"That will take some time getting used to," Grundan Krul said.

Shepard slid into the bench across from Grundan Krul. "I'm willing to bet you're not the only one. So, are you usually up so late?"

"Still used to late guard duty. Don't worry though, I'll adjust in a day or two and I'm ready to go out whenever you need me," Grundan Krul said.

Shepard nodded her head and took a sip from her cup. Grundan Krul knew how to make good coffee at least.

"With coffee like this, I might just keep you on the ship and make that your permanent duty," Shepard said.

The batarian chuckled. So, not much for conversation, she thought.

 _"_ _He's not supposed to be here. He's supposed to be dead. Why is he alive while Ashley and Liara are dead?"_ Jane asked.

"It's not his fault they died, Jane," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _No, it's yours,"_ Jane said.

Shepard winced but didn't respond. She thought it was her fault too, and it wasn't something that she would ever forgive herself for. Ever. Liara's tear streaked face floated up in Shepard's memories and she had to push the image away before it brought tears to her own eyes.

"I didn't think to ask, where'd you decide to settle in at?" Shepard asked.

Grundan Krul shrugged. "I thought it was best if I stayed out of everyone's way. Didn't want to take up the extra space. I've mostly stayed in the main battery with Archangel."

"I wouldn't worry about taking up extra space in a ship this size. Have you looked around the ship at all?" Shepard asked.

"I've seen the uneasy looks people give me. I can't say that I blame them. I know batarians aren't well liked or well understood," Grundan Krul said shaking his head slightly.

Shepard sat her cup down and put her elbows on the table, clasping her hands in front of her face she touched them to her lips.

"I was a kid when batarian slavers raided Mindoir," Shepard said softly. "Watched them brutally kill my family, kidnap by friends… it was rough. I'm not going to lie and say that it doesn't still haunt my dreams from time to time. Hell, I won't even tell you that batarians don't still make me a little nervous."

 _"_ _Don't… why would you tell him that?"_ Jane asked.

Shepard put her hands flat on the table, gauging the lack of expression on Grundan Krul's face.

With conviction, she continued, "But I'm smart enough to know that the actions of a few assholes don't define an entire race. I plan to give you the chance to prove yourself, and I'll damn well make sure no one questions that."

Grundan Krul's four black eyes moved back and forth watching Shepard. She returned his gaze, focusing on the lower, larger eyes. Grundan Krul took a drink from his mug before speaking.

"I appreciate the opportunity," Grundan Krul said.

Shepard lifted her cup to her mouth. "Sure. I figure if Garrus had you on his team, you have to be worth something."

Grundan Krul chuckled. They sat in silence for a few more minutes while Shepard finished her coffee. She didn't really know what else to say to the batarian and he didn't seem to be in the mood to tell her his life story so she left him to his silence. She washed her cup out at the sink and glanced towards the cryogenic sleep pods. She wondered if Garrus was in one of them or if he had passed out in the main battery room. She wasn't going to let herself go look.

Instead, Shepard headed back up to her cabin and stripped her clothes off once more. She turned off the lights and used the glow from the fish tank to find her way to her bed. Her thoughts sobered by the uncomfortable conversation with Grundan Krul, Shepard found it easier to fall asleep.

She dreamt of the horrors of Mindoir.

The next morning Shepard woke early, even after having such a hard time falling asleep the night before. She showered and made her way to the mess hall where Mess Sergeant Gardner dished her up something that looked like oatmeal… sort of. Shepard raised an eyebrow. She hadn't considered breakfast foods when she ordered food from the markets on the Citadel. Shepard sighed before setting the mug of coffee on the tray next to the bowl of maybe-oatmeal and fresh fruit. She carried it over to the table that no one else was sitting at and slid into the bench.

Shepard looked up when a sleeping pod opened and Garrus stepped out. He saw her when he was half way down the hall and hesitated before heading past her and back beyond the elevator. He didn't look quite so angry today, at least not yet. A few minutes later he passed by her again and disappeared into the main battery. Shepard let out a sigh and turned her attention back to her pseudo-food. She really missed her diet of dry rations and protein bars.

Shepard gave up on the oatmeal – yeah, it was oatmeal, and finished off the bowl of mixed fruits. She drained her cup of coffee and was just about to get up to clear her tray when she heard someone clear their throat. Shepard looked up to see Kasumi materialize before her eyes as she dropped her tactical cloak.

"Good morning, Kasumi," Shepard said.

"Are you going to finish that?" Kasumi asked.

Shepard glanced down at the bowl of half-eaten oatmeal and raised her eyebrow. "Seriously? It's all yours."

Kasumi slid into the seat across from Shepard and lifted the bowl from her tray. Shepard watched in fascination as the tiny woman dug into the oatmeal with gusto, not even bothering to get a new spoon.

Kasumi used the spoon to point to the bowl. "This is really good. It's just like my grandma used to make it."

"Really?" Shepard asked.

"Oh yes. I gave Gardner the recipe last night. He's really quite fascinating, have you talked to him much?" Kasumi asked.

"Just enough to learn that he's responsible for cleaning the toilets and making the food," Shepard said.

Kasumi giggled. "Don't be dramatic, Shepard. We all get our hands dirty from time to time. That's what soap is for."

"Fair enough, so what did you learn about Gardner?" Shepard asked.

Kasumi seemed to think about the question before answering, "Mostly that he comes up with the most unique swear words I've ever heard. But also that he had a family. I don't think he likes the idea of Grundan Krul being aboard the Normandy."

"Ah. I'll uh, I'll make a point to talk to him soon. Thanks, Kasumi," Shepard said.

"Sure. So, I saw you and the drunk turian stumble in late last night. Something there, Shepard?" Kasumi asked.

Shepard winced.

"The turian wasn't that drunk," Garrus said walking up to their table with a tray.

"Ha! You were definitely drunk," Kasumi said.

Shepard schooled the smile that was threatening to break free. Garrus ignored Kasumi's retort and looked at Shepard.

"Is it alright if I sit with you?" Garrus asked.

Shepard's jaw dropped. "Yeah. Of course."

Garrus sat down across from Shepard a couple of feet from Kasumi. Kasumi sat the empty bowl back on Shepard's tray, looking back and forth between Shepard and Garrus with a grin.

"I'll be going now!" she said activating her cloak.

A few seconds later Garrus looked at the seemingly empty spot.

"I thought you said you were going away?" Garrus asked.

Shepard heard Kasumi sigh, "Is no one on this ship any fun?"

"Goodbye, Kasumi," Shepard said.

"See you later, Shepard!" Kasumi said.

Once they were both certain Kasumi had actually left, Garrus slowly started to eat. Shepard watched him curiously waiting to see if he was going to talk. She wondered if he was going to say anything about his behavior the night before. She would follow his lead, she was just glad he seemed to be making the effort to not dodge her and look at her like he wanted to spit in her face every time he saw her.

"So, hmmm. Where are we headed?" Garrus asked.

"Turian prison ship called Purgatory," Shepard said picking at the Cerberus logo on her mug.

Garrus stopped with his fork halfway to his mouth and asked, "You're serious?"

"Yeah, the Illusive Man worked out a deal for the release of an inmate into our custody," Shepard said raising an eyebrow in question.

Garrus put his fork down on his plate. "Shepard, that place is full of some of the worst criminals in the galaxy."

Shepard's lip twitched at his chastising tone. She opened her omni-tool and accessed the program Anderson gave her; as soon as it was activated it started beeping. Shepard frowned.

"What's that?" Garrus asked.

Shepard bent her arm so he could see her omni-tool screen. His eyes glanced over the screen and his mandibles snapped closed. She closed the program so it wouldn't beep incessantly and draw attention.

"I know, but the prisoner we're picking up is supposed to be the most powerful human biotic alive. Can't pass up someone like that," Shepard said, Jane's memories of Jack flitting across her consciousness.

"What makes you think we can trust a convict? This person has to be there for a reason," Garrus said.

"Undoubtedly Jack is there for a very good reason. Even still, we need the help," Shepard said.

She knew what Garrus was really asking her; he was asking if this was something she already knew about thanks to Jane. Shepard nodded her head slightly, just enough for the turian to pick up.

"We're not far. I figured I'd take Grundan Krul with me; see what he's like on a mission. Maybe Mordin as well," Shepard said.

"Shepard, maybe I should go with you on this one. You know, since you'll be dealing with turian politics," Garrus said.

Shepard narrowed her eyes. She knew Purgatory was privately owned and operated. She was willing to bet Garrus did, too.

"I doubt there will be any issue with turian politics, Garrus. Besides, after last night, I figured you'd want the day off," Shepard said.

Garrus mandibles fluttered lightly, "Still, if you're taking Grundan Krul with you, it might be best. I don't know yet if he'll adjust to following someone else' command."

Shepard drew her thumb across her jawline and chewed on her lip in thought. She was missing something here. Something he couldn't tell her right now. She scraped her teeth across her lower lip one last time making a sucking sound before she nodded her head.

"Alright, Garrus. If you're sure you're up for it," Shepard said.

"I'm always… hmmm. Yeah, I'm fine," Garrus said.

Shepard smirked at the awkwardness of his almost word choice. Garrus started eating again and Shepard continued to watch him. She let herself take in the features of his face, a face that she wished so desperately she could reach out and touch again. Before she realized what she was doing, she was lost in memories of what it felt like to have her naked body pressed against his. Her body yearned to feel his teeth nip at her skin and his talons dig into her flesh. She remembered the feel of his arms around her the night before, and the excitement she felt when he breathed in her scent. The memory of the hunger in his eyes pulled at her core.

Garrus took a hesitant, shallow sniff of the air around him. His fork paused again halfway to his mouth. Slowly he lowered it back down to his plate and kept his eyes downcast.

"Ah, Shepard?" Garrus said.

Shepard's response came low and throaty, "Hmm?"

"You're ah… You're staring," Garrus said.

Realization hit Shepard like a ton of bricks; knocking her back into the present and the reality of their situation. Her eyes opened wide and her face turned red.

"Oh! Gods! Sorry, I uh… I should go," Shepard stood up and gathered her tray before quickly retreating from the table.

 _"_ _He doesn't want us anymore,"_ Jane said sorrowfully. _"We needed him. Always need him. We can't do any of this without him. What if he leaves us? Oh gods, he's going to leave us, isn't he? He's going to make us finish this fight without him. What have you done?"_

She rushed to the elevator, feeling Garrus' eyes on her until she disappeared from sight. Her heart the stage of an emotional battle she was not prepared to fight so early in the morning. She rammed her thumb against the elevator call button five or six times.

"So stupid," Shepard muttered to herself as the sting of rejection and Jane's words dug into her mind.

"Commander Shepard, the elevator only requires the call button to be pushed once," EDI said.

"I know, EDI," Shepard said through grit teeth.

"It seems that many members of the crew are not aware," EDI said.

Shepard thought that she might have detected the faintest hint of sarcasm in that. It drew her out of her moment of self-pity and despair. She looked up at the blue hologram.

"You've been working on inflection, I see," Shepard said with a pained smile.

The lights on EDI's hologram moved back and forth more rapidly, "I have. Having a crew to speak with makes it easier to adjust my mannerisms."

"And, of course, you spend more time talking to Joker than anyone else," Shepard said.

"Flight Lieutenant Moreau is proving to be quite the challenge. He used the mute button on me six times already this morning," EDI said.

Shepard chuckled as the elevator opened and stepped inside. She hit the button for her cabin and leaned against the back wall. She took a deep breath in through her nose and tried to let all the hurt go with the exhale.

"Do you want me to talk to him, EDI?" Shepard asked.

"No thank you, Shepard. It is important that I learn how to interact with the crew in order to best serve on this ship," EDI said.

"Alright, EDI. If he gives you too much trouble, let me know and I'll go yell at him for you," Shepard said.

"That would be an interesting example of human behavior. I am sure I could learn a significant amount from observing such a display," EDI said.

Shepard's laugh echoed in the elevator. "Anytime, EDI."

The doors opened and Shepard crossed into her cabin. She sat down at her desk and opened her laptop.

"Hey, EDI, can you let me know when we're a half hour from Purgatory?" Shepard asked.

"I am perfectly capable of doing so," EDI said.

"Uh huh, will you do that then, please?" Shepard asked.

"As you wish, Shepard," EDI said before closing her interface in Shepard's cabin.

Shepard chuckled again before clicking on her inbox. She saw she had another message from Tali along with other messages from various sources. Shepard opened the message from Tali first.

Shepard: Actually, maybe there is something you can help me with. If you have time. I could use escort to the area around a planet called Elohi in the Micha system of the Vallhallan Threshold. I need to record some data about the approaching asteroid and I am having trouble securing transport. The area is thought to be heavily patrolled by pirates. No one else is willing to take me.

Shepard snorted before hitting reply.

Tali: I'm not sure if I should be flattered or offended that you thought of me when no one else was willing to take you into pirate territory. Tell me where to pick you up and I'll head there after I grab this new recruit.

Shepard spent twenty minutes sifting through her inbox while Jane showed her memories of Purgatory. She had seen bits and pieces of them it before. Since waking up with Jane so fully present, Shepard had access to all of Jane's memories – to all of their memories – so long as Jane wasn't fighting her. It was like remembering anything else though, she had to have a reason to go looking for the memory or have something trigger it in her mind for her to know it was there. As soon as she read Jack's dossier, the memories had started floating forward.

There were a lot of messages from Cerberus telling her about the different weapons and armors they had available for her use. A couple from the Illusive Man asking her to check into some things for him. Talitha's name caught her eye. Shepard clicked on the message. She read over the message three times, taking in the details of what the woman was saying.

Shepard leaned back in her chair and whispered, "Son-of-a-bitch."

If she understood what Talitha was saying, then there was a Cerberus doctor working with the woman. That wasn't good. That couldn't be good.

"EDI?" Shepard said.

The blue hologram came to life, "Yes, Shepard?"

"Can you track the origin of this message for me, please?" Shepard asked.

"Right away, Shepard," said EDI. "The message originated from a facility on the planet Gellix in the Arrae system of the Minos Wasteland."

"Gellix. Gellix. Gellix. I know that name. Jane, what's on Gellix?" Shepard thought as an image of Jacob briefly filled her mind.

Jane remained stubbornly silent, fighting off Shepard's attempts to access her memories. Shepard sighed.

"EDI, what kind of facility? Is it a school or what?" Shepard asked.

"I have a block that prevents me from answering that question," EDI said.

"Damn it," Shepard whispered. "OK, thanks EDI."

"Jane, come on, Talitha is in trouble. Is that a Cerberus facility? What happens to her?" Shepard demanded silently.

 _"_ _You don't know that she's in trouble. This is the last we ever remember hearing anything about her. Just leave her alone, Dawn. You're causing enough problems for everyone else. Leave the poor woman alone,"_ Jane said.

"Gods damn it, Jane. Quit being such a stubborn bitch and help me! Talitha could be in serious trouble and she wouldn't even know it! You're willing to just let her become a Cerberus tool because you can't get over the fact that you were hurt? Are you fucking kidding me?" Shepard growled inside her head.

 _"_ _It's not that simple. Everything you do, it changes something. Not just something for us, this isn't just about saving us anymore, Dawn. You're changing shit in the whole fucking galaxy! People are dying who weren't supposed to die. People aren't where they're supposed to be; Veetor wasn't on Freedom's Progress. And what about Mordin's assistant Daniel? Where was Daniel? Events have shifted – important events – that led us to where we needed to be to save the galaxy. We wanted you to fix things but you're only making them worse. Now we aren't even sure you'll ever find the plans for the Crucible, might never find the one thing – the one thing! – that can stop the reapers!"_ Jane said.

"I will fix this, Jane. You have to trust me. I will find a way to fix this. Just please, tell me what's on Gellix!" Shepard pleaded.

 _"_ _No, it's not important right now. Only later,"_ Jane said.

"Fuck!" Shepard roared aloud, slamming her palm against the edge of her desk in frustration.

"Commander Shepard, defacing Cerberus property is against Cerberus policy," EDI said.

Shepard groaned and shook her hand in pain before hiding her face in her hands.

"Yeah," Shepard said.

"We are now thirty galactic standard minutes away from Purgatory," EDI said.

"Alright, notify Garrus and Grundan Krul. Tell them to meet me at the airlock when we dock," Shepard said.

"Right away, Shepard," said EDI.

Shepard strapped on her armor and checked her guns before heading down to the CIC. They were still a few minutes out but Garrus and Grundan Krul were already leaning against the wall next to the galaxy map. Kelly was standing in front of them with her back to the rest of the room when Shepard rounded the corner.

"I would love to hear more about your work on Omega sometime," Kelly said.

The flirtatious, honey-sweet tone of her voice wasn't lost on Shepard's ears. She glanced over to see Grundan Krul watching the woman silently. Shepard didn't think she had seen any sign of any expression on that man's face since she met him. Batarians weren't the most expressive people but he was a master at it. She'd hate to play poker with him. Garrus grinned and crossed his arms in front of him.

"Well, I'm sure we could arrange a sit down sometime," Garrus said.

The low flanging of his voice in response to Kelly was just a little too much for Shepard to deal with in that moment. Shepard crossed the few feet between the small group and herself before drawing her pistol. Garrus raised a brow ridge at Shepard; he looked almost amused. Shepard didn't try to hide the glare plastered to her face. She wasn't going to try to stand in his way if he wanted to take Kelly to bed but damn it she was not going to stand there and watch the fucking courtship. She made a show of checking the thermal clip before holstering the weapon.

 _"_ _Maybe he'll stay for her. At least he'd still be here,"_ Jane said.

"You two ready?" Shepard asked.

"Sure," Garrus drawled.

Grundan Krul nodded at Shepard and turned to follow her as she headed towards the airlock. Garrus lagged behind to tell Kelly goodbye. Shepard felt the Normandy line up with Purgatory and the bridge connect the ships. She waited impatiently at the airlock until it opened. They crossed over onto Purgatory and waited for Purgatory's doors to seal behind them.

Shepard opened her omni-tool, glancing down the way towards the turian guard wearing standard Blue Suns armor waiting for them. Shepard tapped a few buttons on her omni-tool before running a hand in front of Garrus. Grundan Krul watched her passively as she did the same to him and then to herself. When nothing beeped, she closed the app.

"Want to tell me why you wanted in on this one so bad?" Shepard asked Garrus.

"Not particularly," Garrus responded.

Shepard frowned and crossed her arms before asking, "Will it interfere with the mission?"

"Not unless you plan on freeing all of the prisoners," Garrus said with a scoff.

Shepard pursed her lips. Garrus opened his omni-tool and tapped a few buttons. Shepard heard a soft humming sound coming from his omni-tool.

"Seriously, Shepard?" Garrus asked.

Shepard glanced over at the guard who suddenly looked extremely agitated.

"What's that?" Shepard asked.

"Noise cancellation. He can't hear us now. It's actually incredibly uncomfortable to listen to so let's make this quick," Garrus said.

"There could be… complications. I have a plan to try to circumvent them but… better tell me what we're dealing with, Garrus," Shepard said.

"Complications. Right, of course. I forgot for five seconds who I was dealing with," Garrus said. "Spirits. Nothing is ever easy with you."

"No fun in that. Now spill," Shepard said.

"There are a few individuals currently imprisoned here that would be particularly unhappy to see my face," Garrus said.

Shepard bit the corner of her lip before asking, "A few?"

Garrus sighed and glanced over at Grundan Krul. The batarian stepped a little closer.

"Twenty-three," Grundan Krul said.

"Well fuck. Damn it, why the hell did you ask to come with me?" Shepard asked.

She glanced up to see the guard had grown tired of waiting and was now walking towards them.

Garrus shifted his weight and glared at Shepard before closing the app on his omni-tool. The humming stopped.

"It doesn't matter. We're here now, let's get this Jack and get out of here," Garrus said as he turned to face the guard.

Shepard started walking towards the guard and he stopped his approach, waiting for them to close the distance. The door behind the guard opened and a turian – Warden Kuril, according to Jane – walked out to stand at the top of the stairs behind the guard. When the guard insisted that they hand over their weapons, Shepard glanced over to see what Grundan Krul would do. She was pleased to see that the batarian was looking to her, waiting to follow her lead. She didn't expect him to be stupid enough to just offer up his weapon when the guard said so, but she was afraid she'd find him looking to Garrus for the answers.

"Rule number one: We do not relinquish our weapons. Period," Shepard said with her eyes on Grundan Krul.

The batarian nodded at Shepard and turned his eyes forward to watch the two turians and the batarian at the top of the stairs. She caught the hint of a grin from Garrus as she turned her head back to watch the warden with a raised brow. The warden stared her down, expecting her to change her mind but that wasn't happening.

"Three armed guests are inconsequential. Jack is being taken out of cryo now. I'll show you to out-processing," Kuril said.

The guards stepped out of the way and Shepard climbed to the top of the stairs. The warden led them through a door and into a hall where Shepard could see cryo pods being shuffled around through a window. The warden talked about the security of the facility as he walked. Two men and the floor below were forcefully separated from a fight by stasis generators. Shepard wondered if it was meant to intimidate her with the information. She had seen the memories; she knew the warden was leading Shepard into a trap. He had hopes of capturing and selling her like he sold his prisoners. That wasn't going to happen. That would never happen.

Shepard urged the warden along. She had a plan that would hopefully avoid releasing every damn prisoner on this ship, but she wanted to get as far into the ship as she could before she put it into action. When the warden led them through another door Shepard drew her pistol. The second it left her holster, Garrus and Grundan Krul drew theirs. Shepard raised her gun to point at the back of the warden's head. He was still talking, telling her where out-processing was located when he turned around and saw her gun inches from his face.

The warden started to reach for his rifle but Shepard shook her head and he hesitated. Slowly he lifted his empty hands up into the air. There were two guards in the immediate area but they hadn't looked over yet. She only had a few seconds to make this work.

"Garrus, disarm him," Shepard said. "Here's how this is going to work, Warden. You're going to tell your men to stand down. You're going to take me to Jack. You're going to release Jack and then you're going to let us back off of this ship without any problems. Are we clear?"

Garrus took the warden's weapons and handed them to Grundan Krul. The batarian secured them to the empty slots on his armor while Garrus brought his rifle back up to bear on the warden.

"This is your plan?" Garrus hissed.

Shepard grinned. "It's a good plan."

 _"_ _It's a stupid plan,"_ Jane retorted.

"Shepard, I assure you this isn't necessary. I –," Kuril started to say.

Shepard made tutting sounds at the warden interrupting him before speaking, "Come on now, you and I both know it is quite necessary. So tell me, how much exactly where you hoping to sell me for, Warden?"

"What?" Garrus snarled.

Shepard saw Garrus' finger twitch on his trigger out of her peripheral vision. She heard the growl start low and quiet in his chest, slowly growing louder. The warden was just about to open his mouth to respond, probably with another lie when one of his guards happened to glance up. Shepard kept her eyes glued to the warden while Garrus shifted his focus to the guards that were now running towards them with their weapons raised.

"Call them off, Warden. No one has to die here today. Think about it, you get to keep your shitty prison ship and all of your inmates except Jack. You fight this, you die and so does everyone who stands between me and Jack," Shepard said.

"Stand down!" Kuril yelled loud enough for his men to hear.

The guards stopped in their tracks and but kept their guns aimed at Shepard's team.

"Tell them again, Warden and make sure they believe you," Shepard said.

"It's alright, put your guns down," Kuril said.

Hesitantly the men laid their guns down on the floor in front of their feet.

"Good, now turn around slowly and take us to Jack," Shepard said.

The warden did as he was told; leading Shepard past the two stunned guards. Garrus turned to walk backwards as they passed them to ensure they didn't try to charge after them. The warden turned right and took them down a curved hallway. Another guard stood at that door and he raised his gun to point at Shepard as soon as he saw the warden at gunpoint.

"Gun on the ground. Now," Grundan Krul said.

 _"_ _This isn't going to work. You're changing things for no reason, now. You know he never would have gotten us. There's no point to this,"_ Jane said.

"There is if it keeps these psychos locked up. Especially if some of them will be gunning for Garrus," Shepard thought.

The turian hesitated looking to the warden and then back at Grundan Krul. He bent and placed his rifle on the floor before backing away from the door with his hands raised. When the door opened, there were turian and batarian guards waiting inside with their weapons already raised. They didn't wait for orders before firing. Shepard ducked behind the door frame pulling the warden with her. Grundan Krul took up the spot opposite from her. Garrus flattened himself against the wall sandwiching the warden between himself and Shepard. The turian that was outside the door scooped his rifle back up and was met with the butt of Garrus' rifle to his face. It knocked him out cold.

"Keep the warden alive, we need him to let Jack out," Shepard said. "Tell your men to stand down, Warden!"

"Stand down! Stand down!" Kuril yelled.

His guards didn't listen.

"Damn it! Incapacitate where possible," Shepard ordered before ducking in to take out a batarian's knee.

Grundan Krul used a Neural Shock on an advancing turian, dropping him to the ground. Garrus warned her that guards were moving down the hall towards them.

"Damn it. Kill the ones inside and get the warden in there, quick!" Shepard ordered.

Shepard used a biotic charge to slam into the nearest batarian, knocking him back before firing a bullet into his head. She spun around in time to see Grundan Krul take down a turian that was advancing on her. Another turian was picking himself up off the floor when Garrus stepped in dragging the warden with him. Garrus shot down the turian before he could reclaim his gun and turned on the two remaining guards in the room. As soon as the warden was clear of the door, Grundan Krul stepped in behind him and closed the door.

"Lock it," Shepard said helping Garrus finish off the guards.

Grundan Krul opened his omni-tool just as Shepard heard the guards arrive outside the door. He had the door locked and was scrambling the signal before the guards were able to get it open from the other side. Shepard pointed to the console and Garrus half escorted half drug the warden over.

"Turn off the mechs and get Jack out of there, now!" Shepard barked at Kuril.

The warden ran his hands over the console, issuing operation commands and typing in passcodes. Shepard waited until she saw the machinery downstairs activate and start to pull Jack's cryo pod up from the docking station before moving to the other door. When everyone was out, she had Grundan Krul lock that one behind them as well. Shepard moved down to ramp to the next door and into the room in time to see Jack open her eyes and rip her hands free from the wrist restraints.

"Jack?" Shepard said and the heavily tattooed, barely dressed, bald woman's eyes snapped to Shepard. "Jack, I'm here to help. I'm getting you out of here, OK?"

Jack's hands went to her throat to pull apart the metal restraint around her neck. Shepard wasn't sure if she was coherent enough to hear what she was saying to her or not. She really, really hoped Jack didn't attack them. Garrus moved into the room behind Shepard, his gun still pointed at the warden. Grundan Krul was right behind him sealing the doors. Jack's eyes snapped to the warden and she ripped the restraints free. She stumbled forward out of the cryo pod and grabbed a hold of the railing while she regained her equilibrium. Shepard moved cautiously towards the woman, her pistol still out but pointed at the ground. Grundan Krul trained his on the warden to provide support to Garrus.

Jack's head whipped up and her eyes settled on Shepard. Shepard stopped in her tracks.

"Move out of my way," Jack said.

Shepard stepped aside and saw Jack's eyes lock on the warden again. Jack started to pull up biotic energy around her.

"Get away from the warden. Now!" Shepard yelled at her team.

"Jack… come on you –," Kuril started to say.

Jack was already running straight at the turian. Garrus and Grundan Krul stepped out of the crazed biotic's way. Jack punched the turian dead in his face backed with all her biotic strength. Warden Kuril flew back and slammed into the metal door, leaving a dent. Jack was on him in seconds, straddling his torso while she pummeled his face again and again and again.

"Jack, we've got to go! We're going to have to fight our way out," Shepard said.

Jack wasn't listening to Shepard though; she was too busy beating the warden to death. When the warden stopped moving, Jack stood and turned to look at Shepard and her team. Her chest was heaving and her fists were clenched tightly at her sides, her arms arced away from her body in threat. The guards had gotten through the first door above.

"Who the fuck are you?" Jack asked.

"My name is Co – Shepard. I need you to hear me out. You're not going to like what I have to say, but please just let me finish?" Shepard said.

Jack glanced up towards the observation window and saw the guards trying to force their way through the next door. Her eyes went back to Shepard, floating between her and her teammates.

"Talk fast," Jack said.

"There is a ship docked ready to get you out of here. It's the only way out of this place. It's a Cerberus vessel," Shepard began.

Jack's biotic energy flared up around her again and Shepard held up a hand.

"Wait, listen! I know what they did to you, Jack. OK? I know. And I swear as soon as we're on that ship I will give you whatever files you want. You can look through every damn database I have access too. Names? Dates? Places? You got it. I'll even help you blow the damn place up," Shepard said.

Jack licked her lips and flicked her eyes back and forth between Shepard's crew and the armed guards that were now piling through the second door.

"You're Cerberus. Why should I believe you?" Jack asked.

 _"_ _She's going to kill you, idiot,"_ Jane said.

"I'm not – gods damn it – I'm not Cerberus! Why does everyone always jump right to that? I fucking hate Cerberus," Shepard started to rant.

"Hmmm. Shepard, maybe now is not the best time," Garrus said watching Jack like a hawk.

"I'm working with Cerberus temporarily," Shepard shrugged. "Well mostly just taking their resources and looking for ways to fuck them over while I figure out how to take down the collectors."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jack snapped.

"The collectors have been abducting human colonies. The Council won't do anything because it's happening in the Terminus Systems. Same with the Alliance. Cerberus has no such political restrictions. I'm putting together a team to put an end to it, and I need your help," Shepard said.

She could hear the guards working to unlock the door behind Jack and the dead warden now. Jack glanced back over her shoulder towards the door and licked her lips.

"Why me?" Jack asked. "What do you want with me?"

Shepard laughed, "Come on, Jack. We both know you're the baddest biotic bitch around."

Jack looked back and Shepard and a slow smile started to pull at her lips.

"You're fucking crazy. I like that. Alright, let's get the fuck off of this ship," Jack said.

The door opened up behind Jack and she spun around, releasing the biotic energy she had pulled up around her in a Shockwave. The guards at the door were all knocked backwards into each other and the wall behind them. Shepard and her team open fired while Jack moved back from the door.

"Jack, get a gun," Shepard said nodding towards the pile of corpses.

"Hell yeah," Jack said digging around until she had a pistol and a shotgun.

"Joker?" Shepard activated the mic in her helmet. "Get ready, we're coming out hot."

"Aye, aye, Commander," Joker replied. "Just like old times."

Shepard was glad that Jane didn't choose that moment to fight her. She relied on Jane's memories and followed the path of destruction normally left by Jack to get them back to the Normandy. Without the prisoners free and rioting throughout the ship and the warden's commanding influence, the guards were more scattered and easier to subdue. Jack was wild as she tore through everyone who got in her way. She wasn't discriminating and wasn't listening to command. Shepard understood her desperation to get off the ship and knew that it would take time for Jack to learn to respect Shepard's authority in battle.

She'd worry about that later. Right then she was only worried about getting them all off the ship alive. Shepard insisted that they leave as many alive as possible so that there was someone left to keep the prisoners in check. At least Garrus and Grundan Krul were listening to her. Shepard groaned when she realized someone was smart enough to get the mechs back online.

She was crouched down behind a metal barricade taking shots at the YMIR that was firing rockets at her location. Grundan Krul was standing behind another just ahead of her using his tech to keep the YMIR off balance. Jack was using her biotics to pull FENRIS mechs into the air while Garrus shot at them. The YMIR exploded and the last FENRIS crashed back to the ground. Shepard peered around the room before giving the all clear.

Shepard jogged to the next door and waited until everyone was close before moving ahead. The short hall turned before ending at another door. Garrus slapped the release and Shepard moved forward.

"I know where I've seen you before now," Jack said.

Shepard glanced over her shoulder at Jack.

"You're that Alliance chick, the Spectre who released that video about the reapers," Jack said.

"Yeah," Shepard said putting her back against a crate and peering around the corner.

"Don't like the Alliance, either. Heard you died," Jack said.

"I did. Cerberus put me back together again. Good as new," Shepard said.

"No shit?" Jack asked.

Shepard signaled for everyone to move forward to the next area of cover. When they were ducked down behind more crates Shepard answered.

"Yeah. Guess they thought the rest of the galaxy would care. Seeing my face again would make them give a damn; enough to take some action," Shepard said.

Guards entered on the walkways across from them and Shepard started firing. Jack pulled one into the air while finding interesting ways to insult their mother. Grundan Krul fired on the floater while Shepard lit another on fire with her incendiary ammo. When the last one lay bleeding out on the floor in front of Shepard, she applied medi-gel to his wound before slapping his face to get him to look at her. The turian opened his eyes and groaned.

"The warden's dead. You need to make sure no one else escapes their pods. I don't have time to clean up your mess, got it?" Shepard asked.

The turian nodded his head and started dragging himself to his feet as Shepard and her team moved through the last door and back to the Normandy. As soon as they were all on the ship, she yelled towards the cockpit to tell Joker to get them the hell out of there. Joker used the emergency protocols to force the bridge off of the Normandy and the ship took off. Miranda and Jacob were in the CIC waiting for Shepard.

"What exactly was the problem, Shepard? Cerberus paid for Jack's release," Miranda said taking in the blood soaked armor Shepard was wearing.

"You fucking _bought_ me?!" Jack demanded.

"Well, technically I demanded your release at gunpoint. Cerberus was stupid enough to actually pay for you," Shepard said.

Jack glared at Shepard and leaned against the wall.

Miranda frowned, "Commander Shepard, what happened?"

"Uhhh… the warden thought he could make more money by keeping Jack and capturing me, too? What, was I supposed to let that happen?" Shepard asked.

"You can't be serious? He was going to try to double-cross Cerberus? The Illusive Man will not be pleased with this," Miranda said.

Shepard shrugged, "Well, he's dead now so I'd call it a win."

Miranda scoffed. Jacob stepped forward and extended a hand towards Jack.

"So, you must be Jack. I'm Jacob Taylor," Jacob said.

Jack looked at the hand like it was diseased until Jacob dropped it back to his side.

"Don't touch me; you or the cheerleader. Just give me the files and show me where I can set up. Some place dark and quiet at the bottom," Jack said.

"Files?" Miranda asked.

"Yeah. I told Jack she can have access to Cerberus files," Shepard said.

"Commander, you can't be –," Miranda started.

"I can and I am. Give her whatever she needs. If the Illusive Man doesn't like it, it's on me," Shepard said.

Miranda shook her head in dismay, "Very well, Commander Shepard."

Jack gloated as she followed Miranda to her office. Shepard couldn't help but to smirk as she turned back to Garrus and Grundan Krul who were still standing with her.

"Good work, gentlemen. Thanks," Shepard said.

Grundan Krul nodded and walked off towards the elevator. Garrus stayed put, his eyes searching for something in her face.

"Something wrong?" Shepard asked.

"He was going to sell you. Did he have a buyer lined up?" Garrus asked.

Shepard shrugged, "He was going to _try_ , and I don't know. I don't think so."

"Shepard, this could be serious. If he had a buyer lined up, they might try another way to get their hands on you," Garrus said crossing his arms.

 _"_ _Never happened before,"_ Jane offered.

Shepard frowned, "What do you want me to do, Garrus? You want me to tell Joker to take us back so we can kill everyone on Purgatory and search through their records?"

Garrus didn't respond but she could see the seriousness in his eyes.

"Oh, gods. You do, don't you?" Shepard said slowly.

"I'll be in the main battery if you need me, Shepard," Garrus said walking away.

"Garrus, wait!" Shepard said.

He stopped but didn't turn around. Shepard closed the distance so she could see his face. The cold mask of anger was firmly back in place, making her heart sink.

"I'll see if maybe EDI can search their records or something, OK?" Shepard said.

"And if you find that he had a buyer lined up?" Garrus asked.

"I don't know. If it's something worth dealing with, we will," Shepard said, her forehead creasing. "I don't… I don't understand why –."

Garrus started walking again and went straight for the elevator.

"Damn it," Shepard grumbled under her breath.


	28. Chapter 5: The Prophecies of Shepard

Chapter 5: The Prophecies of Shepard

"An auction?" Garrus repeated.

"Apparently so. Looks like he had a few interested parties. The Shadow Broker among them. EDI found correspondences between Kuril and an information agent of the Broker's. The Broker was trying to bypass the auction and make a direct agreement on a price," Shepard said.

Garrus scratched at his mandible with a gloved talon before asking, "Who were the others?"

"No one I immediately recognize. I'll have EDI forward you the list if you want," Shepard said.

"Yeah. I'll see what I can find out," Garrus said.

They were standing in the main battery with Grundan Krul. This was the first time Shepard had stepped foot in this room since she brought the two of them aboard. The space was crowded for the two men to share, but they seemed to do so with efficiency.

"Is there something I can do to help?" Grundan Krul asked.

"You could look at the list with Garrus. Maybe you'll recognize a name?" Shepard suggested.

Grundan Krul nodded in agreement.

"Alright, well I wanted to check in with some of the others. Let me know if you guys find anything," Shepard said glancing at Garrus.

"Of course," Garrus said.

Shepard left the main battery and stopped by Miranda's office. When she walked in she was immediately hit with the reminder that Miranda's office was where Shepard's cabin once stood. The lay out was different and it was distinctly Miranda's space now and not Shepard's, but it still stirred memories in the back of Shepard's mind. Miranda looked up from her desk at Shepard; surprise danced across her features.

"Commander Shepard, is there something I can do for you?" Miranda asked.

Shepard shrugged, "Just thought I'd stop by and see how you're doing."

Miranda leaned back, "You want to know how I'm doing? I must admit, Commander, I find that surprising."

 _"_ _We don't want to be in here. Don't want to be with her,"_ Jane said.

"We have to work with her, Jane. I won't stay long, I promise," Shepard thought.

"Come on Miranda, you spent two years learning everything you could about me, right? Don't tell me that there wasn't anything in those files telling you that I like to know my team," Shepard said.

"I wasn't aware you actually consider me to be a part of your team, Commander. It seems more to me that I'm someone you tolerate because you must," Miranda said.

 _"_ _She doesn't even want us to be here, let's go, please!"_ Jane said.

Shepard winced, "I admit it is difficult at times. We're two very different people, and Cerberus hasn't done much to give me warm feelings inside."

"Jane, keep it together for me, OK? Just for a few minutes," Shepard thought.

"Cerberus invested massive amounts of time and resources to bring you back to life, Commander," Miranda said.

 _"_ _By cutting us open from head to toe. Scraping away our burnt flesh into little petri dishes. Drilling holes into us. Attaching machines and pumping us full of chemicals,"_ Jane said.

"Cerberus didn't do that for me. That wasn't a favor that was the worst kind of draft any soldier has ever had," Shepard said.

Miranda watched her in silence, her legs crossed and swiveling gently in her chair. She stood up and walked towards the back of the room to where she had some chairs set up by a window.

"Alright, Commander. What would you like to know?" Miranda asked gesturing at the chairs.

Shepard followed her and sat down in one of the chairs, instinctively choosing one that would let her keep an eye on the door. Miranda sat across from her, settling into the leather cushion she clasped her hands over her abdomen and crossed her long legs.

Shepard scratched at one of the scars on her face and Miranda frowned. Shepard stopped and dropped her hand.

"I don't know, Miranda. Just tell me about you. Where are you from? What do you do in your spare time? You know, just talk," Shepard said.

Miranda sat silently, her penetrating blue eyes weighing out Shepard's words. Shepard had only met a few people in her life whose gaze could make her want to squirm. She was both in awe and a little disturbed that Miranda was one of them. After a few minutes of silence, Shepard raised an eyebrow.

"Why don't you tell me what it is that you already know about me, Commander?" Miranda said.

Jane's memories began flooding Shepard's mind at the prompt. Shepard gently shoved them away so she could focus on the conversation.

"Uh, well I know that you're name is Miranda Lawson and that you work for Cerberus. You led the Lazarus Project and spent two years rebuilding me. I know that you're an excellent biotic and you know how to hold your own in combat," Shepard said with a shrug.

Miranda stayed silent. After a minute had passed, she stood up and crossed to her desk. Shepard's eyes followed her as Miranda picked up her laptop and brought it back to the chair she had been sitting in. Shepard watched with curiosity while Miranda dug through files on her computer without saying a word. She turned her laptop to face Shepard.

There was a still image of Shepard, heavily burned and nearly unrecognizable even to herself on the laptop's screen. Jane began twisting, squirming in Shepard's mind. Shepard glanced at Miranda in confusion. Miranda reached around and pressed a button on the keyboard.

 _"_ _No, no, no. I don't want to see this. Gods don't make me watch this,"_ Jane said frantically.

The image began to move and audio started playing. Shepard watched as her burned, cracked, and oozing lips began to move. Her mouth dried out when she realized what it was that she was saying, and who exactly it was speaking through her mouth. Jane started to repeat one word over and over, a simple 'no' to bounce around in Shepard's mind.

"… and then we'll have to help her get her sister to safety. Niket will be there trying to convince her to take Oriana back to her father… Oh gods, it hurts. The reapers are coming and no one is listening… Zaeed is going to want us to let all those people burn just so he can have his revenge… Kaidan died and it was all our fault… why does it hurt so much… changed too much… Saren would have let the reapers in; he would have ended civilization completely… Wilson is working for the Shadow Broker, he's going to try to kill us again… oh I feel like I'm on fire…," Shepard's voice said on the video.

 _"_ _NO!"_ Jane yelled.

"Stop," Shepard said.

Miranda reached around to stop the recording. Her eyes fixed on Shepard but Shepard's eyes remained locked on the still image of her shattered and burned body.

"Who else has seen this?" Shepard asked barely above a whisper.

"No one else alive. Yet," Miranda said.

 _"_ _I didn't know, we didn't mean to. Oh gods, she knows, she knows. They're going to put us back on the slab. She knows. Miranda is going to cut us open again; dig around inside our head. Oh gods, oh gods,"_ Jane's voice was full of panic.

Shepard could feel her heart rate rising. She didn't know if it was responding to Jane, or her own fear. Shepard raised her eyes to meet Miranda's gaze with a cold stare of her own. Could she trust Miranda? Was it too soon for that?

"You haven't showed this to the Illusive Man? Jacob? No one else?" Shepard demanded.

Miranda shook her head, "Wilson was the only other person around to hear you. He's dead now, obviously. I considered sharing these tapes with the Illusive Man but chose to wait. I needed to see you on your feet again. I couldn't risk the Illusive Man terminating the Project or changing anything about it until I had the chance to ask you how you know about Oriana."

Miranda sat the laptop down on a small table between the two women. She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees, clasping her hands together in front of her. She watched Shepard closely in that cold and calculating way that Miranda was so good at.

 _"_ _Kill her! We have to kill her. We can't let anyone else know,"_ Jane said.

Shepard closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I was tempted to sabotage the Project and kill you, for even uttering her name, Commander. So, I urge you to explain yourself. I've waited long enough. Clearly, you have recovered from your injuries and are capable of understanding the gravity of the situation. I want answers," Miranda said.

"Are you threatening me, Miranda?" Shepard asked with a raised brow, her fists clenching.

"If necessary, yes. I spent a lot of time working on you, so I would hate to see that all be for nothing, of course," Miranda said bluntly.

 _"_ _What are you doing? Kill her! You can't let her put us back on that slab. Do it, do it now while she's alone. Hurry!"_ Jane said.

Shepard leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms, fingers digging into the fabric of her shirt itching to wrap themselves around Miranda's throat. The two women sat in silence staring at one another. Finally Shepard cleared her throat.

"I doubt I have the answers you want. I'm sure it's nothing as nefarious as you're probably thinking," Shepard shrugged, doing her best to make the answer she was giving seem simple yet true. "I think it's a side of effect of the prothean beacon. Ever since I accessed it on Eden Prime, I've gotten strange visions of things to come."

"The beacon?" Miranda asked clearly doubtful.

"Yeah. It warned me about the reapers. Showed me what happened to the protheans. Since then I've just known things. Not everything, of course, but people, place, events that are all tied in to my stopping the reapers," Shepard said.

Miranda leaned back, "How is that even possible?"

"Not a clue," Shepard said.

"Who else knows about this? Did you inform the Council? The Alliance?" Miranda asked.

"The Council has never believed anything I say. You know how the responded when I tried to tell them about the visions the beacon gave me about the reapers. They all but laughed in my face. Why would I try to tell them anything else? There's one person in the Alliance who knows, someone I trust with my life. Most of my old crew knows. The people I was closest too, who I needed to trust me and to be able to trust with anything… and now you. The question is, what are you going to do with this information?" Shepard asked.

"This information needs to be passed on to the Illusive Man. He'll want to –," Miranda began.

"No," Shepard said.

"Commander, I know that you have your misgivings about Cerberus but –," Miranda began.

"No, Miranda. No one else gets told about this or I'm done. Period. I know that you think that Cerberus is noble in its quest to better humanity and I don't know if that is simple ignorance of what Cerberus has done or if you're just willing to turn a blind eye out of misplaced gratitude for what the Illusive Man has done for you personally," Shepard leaned forward in her chair as she spoke, her voice rising. "Either way, this is my life, damn it and I know that if Cerberus finds out about this they will find a way to get me locked up in a room somewhere while they run experiments on me and try to figure out a way to harness this for their own purposes. I won't let that happen, Miranda. I will do everything – and I mean everything in my power to prevent that from every happening. So can I trust you or not?"

 _"_ _Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods,"_ Jane said.

Miranda crossed her hands over her abdomen and tapped a finger of her right hand against her left.

"Very well, Commander. I will keep this to myself. For now. I will, however, keep the Prophecies of Shepard. If what you say is true, then there is information too valuable to be ignored. There are things in there that Cerberus does need to know, but they don't need to know where the information came from," Miranda said.

"The Prophecies of Shepard? Really?" Shepard said with an exasperated sigh. "Send me the videos, Miranda. I need to know exactly what was said before you tell Cerberus anything. Just give me that. There may be something there that would do more harm than good if Cerberus found out about."

Miranda stood and picked up her laptop before walking back to her desk. Shepard followed her and watched as she sat down and collected the files preparing to send them to Shepard.

 _"_ _Just kill her, please just kill her,"_ Jane said.

"No, damn it. I'm not going to kill her over this. It isn't her fault," Shepard thought.

"Wait. Don't send them to my Cerberus account. I know it's monitored. And this whole ship is bugged. Are you sure your computer isn't monitored? What about your cabin?" Shepard asked.

"I'm positive, Commander. Where do you want me to send them to, then?" Miranda asked.

Shepard thought about it for a moment, she considered having them sent to Anderson or maybe to Garrus' private account but she wasn't sure she wanted to involve either of them in this. She wasn't sure she wanted them to see the videos of her in that shape.

"Do you have an OSD drive?" Shepard asked.

Miranda dug around in a drawer before producing a small OSD and plugged it into her computer. She moved some files off of the drive before transferring the videos. When it was done, she ejected the drive and held it out to Shepard. Shepard reached for the drive but Miranda didn't let go right away.

"Do not make me regret this, Commander," Miranda warned.

She released the drive and Shepard tucked it into her pocket.

"Thank you, Miranda," Shepard said as she turned towards the door.

"Commander, wait," Miranda said.

Shepard turned back to face the other woman. Miranda leaned back in her chair, resting her clasped hands on her stomach.

"About Oriana… and Niket… you're sure that Niket is working for my father?" Miranda asked.

Shepard shook her head slowly, "I'm sorry, Miranda."

"No, don't be. It's better that I know now," Miranda said before turning her attention back to her computer.

Shepard left Miranda's office and went to the elevator. She pushed the call button before reaching into her pocket to fiddle with the OSD while she waited for the elevator to arrive. Jane's panicked voice was starting to abate. When the doors slid open Shepard stepped on to the elevator and turned to see Garrus coming. She held a hand out to stop the door from closing. He hesitated only briefly before stepping into the confined space with Shepard. She moved her hand and the doors slid closed. As they had every other time they'd been in the elevator together since she found him on Omega, Garrus stood pressed into one corner and she the other. Jane soothed herself with quiet whispers in the back of Shepard's mind.

Neither of them spoke as the elevator started to move. Shepard was lost in thoughts of the OSD in her pocket and dreading what all Jane might have said while Shepard was out. The elevator came to an abrupt stop a few seconds later. Shepard glanced up at the doors but they stayed closed.

"EDI?" Shepard said.

"Yes, Shepard?" EDI said.

"Why'd the elevator stop?" Shepard asked.

"That would be my fault, Commander," Joker's voice came in over the comm.

"What do you mean? Fix it!" Shepard said.

"Uhhh, no," Joker said.

"What?!" Shepard said raising her voice.

"Not until you two talk things out. Everyone on the ship is tired of your bullshit. Figure it out," Joker said.

Shepard glanced over at the mortified looking turian who had somehow found a way to wedge himself even deeper in the corner.

"Joker! Damn it this isn't funny!" Shepard yelled.

"Kasumi thinks it is," Joker said and Kasumi giggled in the background.

"Joker, this isn't your business. Fix the elevator," Garrus said.

"So I won't listen. Talk," Joker said.

"Gods damn it, Joker! When I get out of here I'm breaking both of your legs!" Shepard yelled.

"EDI, can you fix this?" Garrus asked.

"I can, Mr. Vakarian," EDI replied.

The elevator remained motionless. Shepard sighed.

"She's been spending too much time with Joker. You need to ask her directly if she _will_. She's being a smartass," Shepard said.

"OK… EDI, _will_ you fix this?" Garrus asked.

"I will not," EDI said.

"EDI!" Shepard whined.

"Yes, Shepard?" EDI asked.

"EDI, fix the damn elevator," Shepard said.

"As you wish, Shepard," EDI said.

The elevator started to move again but abruptly stopped after a couple of feet.

"EDI?" Shepard said.

"Yes, Shepard?" EDI said.

"I thought you were fixing the elevator?" Shepard asked.

"I did. Flight Lieutenant Moreau resumed manual control," EDI said.

Shepard groaned and hit her head against the wall. Garrus moved over to the control panel and opened his omni-tool. Shepard perked up to watch him work. After a few moments he chuffed and dropped his arm.

"It's no use, not with Joker sitting up there flipping the switch every time I reset it," Garrus said.

"I'm going to break his fingers, too," Shepard grumbled sliding down the wall of the elevator.

Garrus moved back over to his corner and closed his omni-tool before studying his feet. Shepard tilted her head up and looked at the emergency hatch. A grin spread across her face and she stood.

"Lift me up," she said.

"What?" Garrus asked.

Shepard pointed to the hatch above Garrus' head. He glanced up and nodded, lacing his fingers together for her to use as a foothold. Shepard put a hand on his shoulder and stepped into the palms of his hands. He helped to raise her up the few extra inches that she needed.

"Aw, come on. That's cheating," Joker said over the comm.

"Screw you, Joker," Shepard said as her fingers deftly opened the hatch and pushed it out of the way.

The elevator suddenly moved again, causing Shepard to lose her balance. She started to fall but Garrus' arms wrapped around her and caught her letting her slide to her feet. The elevator stopped again. Shepard was pressed against Garrus, her shirt had been pushed upwards leaving her bare stomach to press against his armor. Her heart was racing in response. She cleared her throat and stepped back before running her hands down the front of her shirt, pushing it back into place.

"Joker! I could have cracked my head open on the wall, you ass!" Shepard said.

"You would have lived," Joker said.

Garrus and Shepard both growled at the comm.

"Alright, try again?" Shepard asked Garrus.

He got back into position beneath the hatch and laced his fingers, hoisting her up towards the hatch. Shepard was ready when the elevator started again and kept herself steady. The elevator stopped once more. She grabbed the lip of the hatch and started pulling herself up while Garrus pushed. Shepard made her way to the roof of the elevator and glanced around until she spotted the emergency ladder. She grabbed it and made sure it was secure before dropping the collapsible ladder down the hatch for Garrus. Shepard stepped back while Garrus made his way up. He pulled the ladder up behind him and secured the hatch.

"I'm going to shoot him," Garrus said.

His visor provided more light than the dim emergency lights that lined the elevator shaft. Still, it was dark enough that she couldn't make his features out clearly. He could probably see her just fine.

"No, Garrus. You can't shoot Joker," Shepard said.

"Why not? I can use a concussive shot," Garrus said.

"Yeah, and probably shatter every bone in his body," Shepard said maneuvering around Garrus to get to the ladder built into the side of the shaft.

"Hmmm. You're right. Probably not a good idea to put the pilot in a full body cast," Garrus said.

Shepard laughed as she made her way up the shaft. Her heart fluttered when she heard Garrus laugh in response, the sound echoing around her.

"How did he not think of the hatch?" Garrus asked.

She could feel him moving up the ladder a few rungs below her.

"He probably did; probably just hoped _we_ would be more cooperative… or too upset to think of the hatch," Shepard said.

"He has met us, right?" Garrus asked his voice heavy with sarcasm.

Shepard chuckled, "Shepard and Vakarian, saviors of the galaxy defeated by an asshole pilot, a smartass AI, and an elevator."

Garrus chuckled again and Shepard's smiled widened.

"I'm at the door," Shepard said sticking her leg through one of the rungs and wedging her ankle back through another to brace herself.

Heat crept through her when she felt Garrus put a hand against her thigh to help keep her in place. She wedged her fingers into the small gap, pushing and prying until the doors slid apart enough for her to shove her hands in deeper. Once she had the leverage she needed, she pulled the doors until the automatic system kicked in and they slid open the rest of the way. Shepard glanced into the CIC to see that no one was looking at them, yet. She freed her leg and pulled herself up the rest of the way before brushing her hands off. She reached back in to offer Garrus a hand to help him out, he slid his hand into hers and she pulled back. When he was on his feet again, Shepard saw his eyes go to her hand in his. There was the briefest moment of hesitation before he let her hand go. Her heart stomach fluttered with hope.

Garrus started to charge towards the cockpit when Shepard stopped him. He turned to look at her, angry and confused.

"I have an idea," Shepard said.

Shepard walked over to Kelly standing at her console and tapped the woman on her shoulder. Kelly turned and beamed at Shepard with her toothy smile.

"Commander, is there something I can help you with?" Kelly asked.

"Actually, Kelly, I was hoping you could maybe go talk to Joker. I'm a little worried about him. I think he's been spending far too much time looking at indecent pictures and videos on the extranet," Shepard said forcing her face into a mask of concern and sincerity. "He's a very lonely person, what with his Vrolik's Syndrome and he's so reclusive. I mean, you probably shouldn't tell him that, but you know, I think he could use someone to talk too. Maybe you can help convince him to take some time off next shore leave, try and make a connection with real people, ya know?"

"Oh, absolutely, Commander. I'll go see him right away. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I'm positive I can help Mr. Moreau," Kelly said with a bright smile before walking towards the cockpit.

Shepard heard a slow, soft clap behind her and turned to see Garrus applauding her with a devious grin on his face and warm humor in his eyes. Shepard smiled and dipped into an exaggerated bow.

"Thank you, thank you," Shepard said.

Garrus chuckled, "That was perfect. Wish I'd thought of it."

Shepard soaked in the moment, smiling softly. It must have made Garrus self-conscious though, because the moment passed all too soon and his smile faded.

"Should we, uh, close those doors?" Garrus said turning away from her to face the elevator shaft.

"EDI, please fix the elevator now," Shepard said.

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said.

The doors slid closed and Shepard heard the elevator move up. The doors slid open again revealing the elevator. They both watched the elevator with dread, knowing they had to get back on that thing.

"You go first; I doubt he'd try it again but still…" Shepard said.

"Oh, so now you're not a martyr," said Garrus.

He stepped into the elevator and turned to look at Shepard. She must have had a pained expression because he put a hand up to stop the door from closing.

"Shepard… I wasn't serious," Garrus said.

"You have been more than a little passive aggressive, Garrus," Shepard said softly.

"Hmmm," Garrus said before a heavy pause. "Perhaps Joker's right. We should… talk. Just not here. Someplace else, on our terms."

Garrus let go of the door and it started to slide closed. Shepard nodded her head as he disappeared from her sight. She didn't have the chance to let her mind consider this new development because she turned to see Kelly hurrying out of the cockpit carrying something black and white. She made a beeline straight for Shepard. Shepard schooled her features and waited for the yeoman.

"How'd it go?" Shepard asked.

"The problem might be more complex than you realized, Commander," Kelly said. "I think that Mr. Moreau is having difficulties making connections with other people because of you."

"Because of me?" Shepard asked.

"Well, yes, Commander. Joker told me about your feelings for him… about your dreams, and confessions of attraction to him before the Normandy crashed. I think watching you die caused him a great deal of guilt. He's been blaming himself, Commander. He thinks that if maybe he had been more accepting of your feelings, things would have happened differently," Kelly said.

Shepard's jaw dropped open. "What? I – I… JOKER!"

Shepard could hear his chuckling all the way from the cockpit.

"He asked me to return this to you. He said you forgot it when you came to see him last night?" Kelly asked handing Shepard the black and white robe she had laid on Joker the night before.

"I – he was asleep, in his chair… he looked cold… this is so not what you think," Shepard grabbed the robe and turned back to the elevator.

"Commander, I think that it's important that you talk to someone about your feelings. Ignoring them will only make matters worse for you, and for Mr. Moreau," Kelly said.

"Thank you, Kelly," Shepard said ducking into the elevator. "I'll be sure to do that."

The elevator doors slid closed and Shepard heard the click of the comm being turned on in the elevator.

"Come on, Commander. Who did you think you were messing with here?" Joker asked smugly.

"Ohhh, it's on," Shepard said.

"You know you'll lose this one, Shepard. Quit while you're ahead," Joker said.

"Keep telling yourself that, Joker," Shepard said.

The elevator opened and Shepard went into her cabin. She plopped down in her desk chair and pulled the OSD out, turning it over and over in her fingertips while gently swiveling the chair back and forth. She sighed and shoved the OSD back in her pocket before opening her laptop. She clicked on her inbox and opened the message from Tali.

Shepard: I can meet you on the asteroid Farlas. There are some ships headed there to mine.

Shepard typed out a quick response to let Tali know that she'd set coordinates for Farlas right away before making her way back down to the CIC. She stepped up to the galaxy map and input the coordinates. It wouldn't take very long at all to get to Tali so to kill time Shepard decided to stop in and see what Jack had found.

As usual, Jack had claimed the dimly lit storage area beneath the stairs under the engineering room. Shepard rapped on one of the metal supports to get her attention before leaning against it and crossing her arms. Jack was surrounded by datapads spread out around her on the cot and floor. She looked up at Shepard before returning her attention to the datapad in her hand.

"Finding anything?" Shepard asked.

"What do you care? Checking in on your _investment_?" Jack snarled.

"That's not fair, Jack. It wasn't my call to pay them for you, I was given a name and a place to pick you up, they had already arranged everything," Shepard said.

"Whatever," Jack said.

Shepard sighed and turned to leave.

"Wait," Jack said.

Shepard glanced back at her with a raised eyebrow. Jack stood up and dropped the datapad to the cot. She moved to lean against the support Shepard had just abandoned and watched Shepard with narrowed eyes.

"You said you knew what they did," Jack said.

Shepard nodded, "I can't explain how, so don't ask."

"I don't give a fuck how you know. You said you were going to help me blow the place up. Did you mean that?" Jack asked.

Shepard turned back around completely and crossed her arms before answering, "I did."

"Why?" Jack asked.

"Because a place like that needs to be blown up," Shepard said.

Shepard watched Jack as she processed this. Her eyes were drawn to Jack's full lips and delicate features. Memories of biting those lips, of pulling them into her mouth flooded Shepard's mind. She remembered times when her hands – their hands, a man's hands, traced the intricate patterns of the tattoos that covered nearly every inch of Jack's flesh. When those hands would slide the thin leather straps, crossing over Jack's torso to barely hide her nipples, away from her breasts. Shepard cleared her throat and pushed the memories away, refocusing on Jack's face.

Jack had a smirk on her face and Shepard could see the laughter in her eyes.

"Don't think so, Alliance. I've fucked a couple of women but they aren't really my thing and I don't _do_ soldiers," Jack said.

"I'm not trying to sleep with you, Jack," Shepard said.

"Bullshit. I can see it in your eyes. You think I don't know it when someone is checking me out. Come in here acting like you give a damn and looking at me like that. Please," Jack said.

"I didn't say I wasn't attracted to you, Jack. I said I wasn't trying to sleep with you. You're wrong though, I do give a damn. What Cerberus did to you was a whole new level of fucked up," Shepard said.

"Whatever," Jack said pushing away from the wall and turning back to her cot. "I'll let you know when I have something."

"So not cool, Jane," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _You trigged those memories on your own. I can't help what you already feel,"_ Jane responded.

Jack picked up the datapad and sat back down. Shepard turned and went back up the stairs, making her way into engineering. Gabby and Ken turned to her when the door opened. Shepard silently cursed herself remembering that she forgot to get them the FBA couplings while she was on Omega. She had been so focused on getting Garrus; she didn't even bother to look around Omega like she normally would have. She didn't help out that nice quarian boy, Kenn either. She knew she'd have to go back to Omega eventually. The couplings would probably still be there and so would Kenn.

Shepard spent a few minutes talking to Gabby and Ken. It annoyed her a little the way Gabby kept interrupting Ken; cutting him off and trying to control the way he talked to Shepard. Shepard crossed her arms after the third time.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying, Ken? Please do continue," Shepard said.

"Oh no, Gabby's right. I do talk too much. I just wanted you to know that you've got our support. However we can help," Ken said.

"Absolutely, Commander," Gabby agreed.

"Thanks guys, I'm happy to have you aboard," Shepard said.

"We're honored to be here, ma'am," Gabby said.

"Carry on," Shepard said on her way back out.

Shepard took the elevator back up to the CIC and veered towards the tech labs. Mordin was bent over the table but looked up when Shepard walked in.

"Shepard! Yes, good you are here. Need to run scans," Mordin said crossing the room to meet her.

"What for?" Shepard asked.

"Studying Cerberus work. Need to see healing progress," Mordin said.

"Alright," Shepard said standing still while Mordin ran his omni-tool in front of her.

"We're making a stop to help out an old friend of mine. Thought you might like to get off the ship for a little while. You want to go out with us?" Shepard asked.

Mordin looked up from his omni-tool and blinked at Shepard.

"Quite content in lab, but happy to go, too. Will give us chance to talk. Cleared lab of Cerberus bugs but could have planted more," Mordin said.

"Yeah… feel free to clear the whole ship of those," Shepard said.

Mordin chuckled, "Will displease Miranda."

"Probably," Shepard said.

"Will see what I can do," Mordin said.

Shepard grinned, "Thanks Mordin. We should be nearing our rendezvous point to pick Tali up. We're taking her to run some scans or something near a planet called Elohi."

"Elohi, yes. Many scientists studying Elohi now," Mordin said.

"Oh? Why's that?" Shepard asked.

"Comet called Asaro headed for Elohi. Equations show high likelihood will be captured by Elohi's gravitational pull. Become new satellite," Mordin said.

"Huh. Interesting. Wonder what Tali's after. Alright, well we should be there soon I'll let you know when I'm ready for you," Shepard said.

Shepard left Mordin to go suit up before heading back to the CIC. She asked Kelly to let Garrus and Mordin know to meet her at the shuttle in ten minutes. Shepard made her way to the cockpit to loom over Joker in silence. She was watching the approach to the asteroid that was already surrounded by quarian vessels. She schooled her features when she saw Joker turn to glance up at her out of her peripheral vision. She knew she was making him nervous after the elevator incident. Once Joker was focused back on maneuvering the Normandy closer to the asteroid, Shepard laid a hand on his shoulder and snorted when she felt him jump beneath her touch. She left the cockpit and headed to the shuttle where Garrus and Mordin were waiting.

"What are we doing here?" Garrus asked.

Shepard smiled, "You'll see."

Garrus frowned at her and Mordin smiled.

The three of them piled into the shuttle and flew it down to the landing zone the quarians had marked out on the asteroid. When the shuttle landed, Shepard and her team were met with a group of quarians pointing guns at them.

"Your ship reads as Cerberus, what do you want here? You are not welcome," a male quarian said.

Garrus was reaching for his assault rifle and Shepard signaled him to wait. Mordin stood by passively with his hands clasped behind his back observing the encounter.

"Get out of my way you bosh'tet! I told you they were coming," Tali's voice broke through the crowd.

"Is that… Tali?" Garrus said raising his voice over the din.

Tali pushed and shoved her way into view as the other quarians backed off and lowered their weapons. Shepard grinned as the purple and green clad quarian stopped in front of her team and cocked a hip.

"Who else were you expecting?" she quipped.

"Ha! Tali'Zorah well if you aren't a sight for sore eyes," Garrus said.

"It is good to see you, too, Garrus. Keelah se'lai… Shepard!" Tali said before hesitantly approaching Shepard.

Shepard opened her arms and Tali quickened her steps to close the distance and embrace Shepard.

"It is so good to see you, Tali," Shepard said.

Shepard heard Tali sniffle and pulled back to look at her. Of course, she couldn't see tears behind Tali's mask but she knew they were there. Shepard pulled her back to her and whispered to the quarian.

"It's alright, Tali. I'm here. I'm alive. I'm so sorry to put you through all of this," Shepard said.

A soft keening sound came from Tali. Shepard moved a hand up to cup the back of her head. The other quarians shuffled around nervously until another pushed his way forward. Shepard recognized him as Kal'Reegar and had to remind herself that she didn't actually know him yet before she called out to him in greeting.

"All of you, get back to work. If Tali'Zorah says she knows these people than that's all you need to know!" Kal said waving off the other quarians.

Slowly, the others filtered away leaving Kal to stand there watching Tali cry and cling to Shepard. Garrus shifted uncomfortably next to the two women and Mordin busied himself scanning the asteroid. After a few minutes, Tali pulled herself out of the embrace and sniffled again.

"Look at me, crying like a child. I'm sorry. It's just so good to see you again. And I'm so happy that you and Garrus found each other again!" Tali said.

Shepard averted her eyes.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Tali asked picking up on the gesture.

"It's nothing, Tali, don't worry about it. Oh, let me introduce you to Mordin. I didn't bring any of the Cerberus crew with me; I thought you might be more comfortable with familiar faces… I hope it's OK that I brought Mordin," Shepard said leading Tali towards the salarian.

"Thank you, for not bringing Cerberus, I mean. I wasn't sure how to ask," Tali said.

Shepard squeezed Tali's shoulder and said, "You didn't need to."

Garrus moved to Tali's other side as they walked over to where Mordin was crouched down taking samples of the fine dusty surface of the asteroid, scooping it up with a small metal spoon and putting it into vials before corking the vials and securing them in a pouch. Mordin stood and turned to face them when they approached.

"Professor Mordin Solus, meet Tali'Zorah vas Neema. Tali was with Garrus and I on the old Normandy. She is a very dear friend of mine," Shepard said.

Mordin reached a hand out for Tali to shake and said, "Ah. Pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise. So, how did Shepard convince you to work with her? You know she likes being shot at, right?" Tali said with a chuckle.

"Hey now, I hear enough of that from Garrus and Joker," Shepard said.

"You notice she isn't denying it, though," Garrus added.

Mordin chuckled, "Have noticed increase in gunfire since joining."

Shepard threw her hands up in defeat.

"Alright, alright. So, Tali, are you ready to go to Elohi?" Shepard asked.

Tali turned to Shepard and started wringing her hands. Shepard raised an eyebrow waiting for the quarian to speak.

"About that…," Tali said.

"Yeah?" Shepard asked.

"I lied," Tali said.

Garrus chuckled.

"OK… well, what's going on?" Shepard asked.

"I do need your help, I just didn't want to really say why. You said that your account wasn't secured and well, I didn't want to give Cerberus any more information than I had to…," Tali said her hand wringing become more furious.

Shepard held up a hand, "Tali, it's OK. I completely understand. You did the right thing. I'm here now though, and we'll help any way that we can. What's going on?"

Tali looked over her shoulder back at Kal and waved him over. The quarian marine jogged over to stand at Tali's side.

"Shepard this is Kal'Reegar, he is one of the Marines that has been assigned as my guard while I am on research missions for the Fleet," Tali said.

Shepard held her hand out to Kal who shook it firmly before returning to parade rest.

"Tali'Zorah has spoken highly of you," Kal said.

Shepard smiled, "Well that's a relief. I'm sure there were plenty of embarrassing stories she could have told you."

Tali giggled, "You mean like the time when I found you making out with Garrus in the mess hall?"

Shepard and Garrus both winced.

"OK, that's it. Something is definitely wrong!" Tali said in exasperation.

"Garrus and I… we aren't… things have changed, Tali. We're still figuring out how to work together again in light of… everything," Shepard said.

"You two aren't together anymore?" Tali asked shocked.

Garrus shuffled his feet and looked off into the distance. Shepard rubbed at the back of her armored neck out of habit.

"It's… complicated," Shepard finally said.

"What's complicated about it? You two love each other; he lost you for two years. You two should be together!" Tali insisted.

"It wasn't my choice, Tali, alright. Can we just talk about this later? In private, maybe?" Shepard asked.

"Oh! Keelah, I'm sorry. Yes, of course," Tali said her voice heavy with embarrassment.

"Thanks," Shepard said.

"So, uh, Kal and I found something… I'm not really sure how to tell you. I thought maybe it might be best to just show you," Tali said.

"OK, well, where is it?" Shepard asked.

"Alchera," Tali said.

"What?" Garrus said turning back to look at Tali.

"Alchera… it's where the –," Tali began.

"I know where it is – what it is…," Garrus said.

Shepard crossed her arms, "OK."

"OK?!" Garrus asked looking at her like she was insane.

"I've been asked to go there anyway. The Alliance wants me to choose a site for a monument. It's already on the Normandy, in the hangar. They loaded it up when we were on the Citadel," Shepard said.

"And you don't mind going back there?" Garrus asked.

"Of course I do, but maybe it's something I need to do. If you don't want to though…" Shepard shrugged. "I mean I understand you can stay on the Normandy."

Garrus frowned at her and resumed his study of the landscape.

"Perhaps best to discuss mission parameters before boarding Cerberus vessel," Mordin suggested.

"Mordin's right. Tali tell me everything you can now. Once we get back on that ship, you'll have to watch what you say," Shepard said.

Tali glanced at Kal who then stepped forward.

"While digging through the crash site, we encountered a geth. It was alone, and seemed to be searching for something. We fired on it but the geth did not return fire. Instead it called out to Tali, calling her by name and requested that she cease fire. I wasn't keen to listen, but Tali here told me to cease fire," Kal said.

"Legion…," Shepard said.

 _"_ _No, it's too soon. You're not supposed to find him like this,"_ Jane said.

"Things have changed, Jane. You're going to have to adapt," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Adapt… how can we adapt?! Everything we know has changed. We have no way of knowing what's going to happen. None. We've always known. Always, and now things are changing and we don't know how disastrous this will be,"_ Jane said.

"What?" Tali asked.

"Oh, um… this was… expected," Shepard said.

"Expected? Oh! Oh, I see," Tali said.

"Where is the geth now?" Shepard asked.

Tali begun wringing her wrists, "Well, uh, I talked to it briefly and then… I tied it up and left it there."

"You tied him up?" Shepard asked with amusement.

"It didn't even try to fight me. It was incredibly weird, Shepard. It knew who I was. It said he recognized me from transmissions as being a part of your team. Shepard… it said it was looking for you. To help against the reapers," Tali said. "Well, it called them 'the old machines.'"

Shepard stared at Tali dumfounded.

"You're telling me that you, Tali'Zorah actually stopped firing on a geth and had a conversation with him before tying him up and leaving him alive and alone on Alchera?" Shepard asked.

"It, Shepard. It's a geth, it's not a person. It is a machine that is responsible for the exile of my people! Trust me, I wanted nothing more than to shoot it until it stopped moving but it knew me! It _knew_ me and it _knew_ you!" Tali said emphatically. "I thought you might want to question it or something. I couldn't bring it with me though, so I didn't know what else to do… and it had a piece of your old armor patched into its platform."

Shepard nodded, "I'm glad you didn't kill him, Tali. He's going to be incredibly useful."

"It," Tali said.

"We'll have to disagree on that one, Tali. So, are you two coming with us to Alchera then?" Shepard asked.

"If that is alright with you," Tali said.

"Absolutely. Tali'Zorah you are always welcome aboard any ship of mine, and any friend of yours is a friend of mine. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to convince you to stay?" Shepard said.

"I don't know, Shepard. I have responsibilities to the Fleet now…," Tali said.

Shepard nodded, "So I see. So, what were you doing on Alchera? If it's something you can tell me anyway?"

"Oh, that wasn't for the Fleet so much as for me… I just needed to see everything. To say goodbye to everyone that was lost. To remind myself that you were real and... to remember your promise," Tali said.

"Tali… how long ago did you leave the geth on Alchera?" Shepard asked suddenly concerned.

"About six months ago," Tali said.

"Gods… how can you be sure he's even still there?" Shepard asked.

"It said it would wait, if that was my wish. I told it that it was and that I was going to find you and tell you about it," Tali said.

"It was the strangest thing, ma'am. I've never seen a geth behave that way," Kal said.

"I'm sorry, Shepard. I told Kal about Cerberus taking you to… do whatever they did," Tali said gesturing at Shepard. "I had to explain to him why I was leaving the geth the way that I was."

"I have to admit I wasn't entirely convinced until she said you were on your way here," Kal said.

Shepard shrugged, "That's alright. Did you guys tell anyone else about this? About the geth, I mean," Shepard asked.

"No ma'am. I thought that we should but Tali asked me not to, so I promised I wouldn't," Kal said.

"Alright. How long do you need before you're ready to head out?" Shepard asked.

"Shepard, we're quarian. We're always ready," Tali said.

Shepard chuckled, "Right. Let's go."

"Shepard, need to talk before returning to ship," Mordin said keeping pace with Shepard.

"I'm listening," Shepard said.

"Noticed anomalies in scans. Need to research purposes of implants. Need access to Cerberus files," Mordin said.

 _"_ _Anomalies? What anomalies? There's never been anomalies before,"_ Jane said.

Shepard stopped and looked at Mordin, "What kind of anomalies?"

"Too soon to tell. Want to see Cerberus files. Will inform you of conclusions," Mordin said.

Shepard nodded slowly, "Alright. I'll make sure you get the files."

When they arrived back at the shuttle they piled in. Garrus was up front with his long legs, the two quarians and the salarian in the back. Shepard flew the shuttle back to the Normandy and Joker lowered the hangar door to let them in. She landed the shuttle and waited for the pressure to equalize before climbing out.

"Tali, I've uh… got some calibrations to do. Come see me in the main battery if you get the chance," Garrus said walking backwards to the door.

"Oh. Of course, have fun… uh, calibrating," Tali said waving at Garrus.

"Should return to lab. Will be ready if you need me," Mordin said following Garrus.

"Thanks, Mordin," Shepard said.

"Is that Tali?" Joker's voice came over the comm.

"Joker?" Tali asked.

"Ha! Would you look at that, just like old times. Hey Tali, you have to check out my new baby!" Joker said.

"He means the ship," Shepard whispered when Tali paused.

Tali laughed, "Sure, I'll have Shepard give us the tour."

A nearby access point activated and EDI's blue hologram popped up, "Commander Shepard, you have messages marked urgent waiting for you."

"EDI, since when do you do Kelly's job?" Shepard asked.

"Since Yeoman Chambers is preoccupied trying to convince Flight Lieutenant Moreau that he needs to discuss his childhood with her in order to adequately address why he apparently has difficulties connecting with people," EDI said.

Shepard's laughter echoed off the walls of the hangar before she saw the way Tali and Kal were staring at the hologram. She sobered up immediately.

"Thank you, EDI," Shepard said.

"Shepard! Is that an AI?" Tali gasped.

"Tali… EDI is an important part of this operation. Please, try to play nice," Shepard said.

"An AI, Shepard? Are you insane?" Tali asked.

Shepard winced.

"Keelah, I'm sorry. That was a poor choice of words but Shepard, you've fought the geth. You know what they did to my people. How can you allow that thing on your ship?" Tali asked.

"Tali, I'm sorry but I don't share your views that all AI's are bad. And I believe that EDI is a person not a thing. I trust EDI," Shepard said.

"Thank you, Shepard," EDI said softly.

"Keelah…," Tali said.

"EDI, this is Tali'Zorah and Kal'Reegar. They'll be staying with us for a little while. Please notify the crew," Shepard said.

"At once, Shepard. Welcome aboard Ms. Zorah and Mr. Reegar. I will notify Mess Sergeant Gardner that we have two more requiring dextro-based meals. If there is anything that I can do for you, there are access nodes spread out through the ship," EDI said.

Tali stared at the hologram. Shepard could only imagine the look of horror that must be on her face. Kal was quicker to recover.

"Ahh, thank you, EDI," Kal said.

Tali scoffed.

"OK… so let's give you two the tour, shall we?" Shepard said.

"Sure," Tali said.

Shepard led them throughout the ship and introduced them to people as she went along. She avoided taking them down to see Jack because she didn't think Jack would appreciate the intrusion and said as much when she indicated the stairs leading to Jack. Tali was very excited to see the drive core and spent some time chatting amicably with Gabby and Ken before allowing herself to be led to Kasumi's quarters. Shepard wasn't at all surprised when Kasumi and Tali hit it off. Nor was she surprised when Kasumi insisted on finishing the tour so she could continue to talk to Tali. Zaeed was as gruff as expected but seemed to recognize the warrior in Kal. Shepard anticipated an exchange of war stories between the two men in the near future.

"Tali'Zorah!" Dr. Chakwas said when they walked into the med bay. "What a pleasant surprise!"

"Dr. Chakwas! I didn't know you were with Shepard, too. It's so good to see you," Tali said.

"Indeed. I couldn't let the Commander have all the fun. Are you joining us?" Dr. Chakwas said.

"I'm just here for a little while. Shepard is taking me to look into something," Tali said.

"I see. Well that's a shame. We would love to have you join us. Maybe you'll change your mind? And who is this you have with you?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"Oh, Dr. Chakwas this is Kal'Reegar. Kal this is Dr. Chakwas she was on the old Normandy as well. She's amazing. She knows everything about treating a sick quarian," Tali said.

"Well, I hardly think I know everything but I do make it a point to learn all that I can about every species," Dr. Chakwas said.

"She's just being modest. Dr. Chakwas is the best," Shepard said.

Kal chuckled, "Well, hopefully I don't have the opportunity to test that out myself."

"Indeed," Dr. Chakwas said with a warm smile.

"Alright, well we're making the rounds. Giving them the tour. We'll see you later," Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas nodded and watched as the three of them left the med bay. Shepard took them over to Miranda's office and knocked on the door.

"This isn't your room anymore?" Tali asked.

"Nah, I have something much better. I'll show you later," Shepard said.

"Come in," Miranda's voice said over the door's comm.

Shepard opened the door and entered with Tali and Kal behind her.

"Miranda, I'd like you to meet Tali'Zorah and Kal'Reegar. I'm taking them with me to Alchera to place the monument. Tali was on my team before," Shepard said.

Miranda stood and walked around her desk to shake hands with Tali and Kal. Shepard was a little surprised by the action but pleased to see it nevertheless.

"Yes, EDI notified me. I recall hearing about Ms. Zorah," Miranda said.

"Please, just call me Tali," said Tali.

"Very well, Tali. And Kal was it?" Miranda asked looking at the marine.

"Yes, ma'am," Kal said standing at parade rest.

"We'll uh, let you get back to work, Miranda. I still need to make other introductions," Shepard said.

"Thank you, Commander," Miranda said returning to her desk.

"Oh, uh, Mordin would like to see your records from the Lazarus Project. Please see that he gets them," Shepard said.

Miranda's jaw tightened, "Very well, Commander."

"She's with them?" Tali asked after the door was closed behind them.

"Yeah," Shepard said.

Tali nodded. Shepard stopped to introduce them to Gardner before heading towards the main battery. Garrus was keeping himself preoccupied at a console, presumably calibrating but smiled at Tali when they walked in. Shepard hurriedly introduced them to Grundan Krul before retreating from the main battery before Tali could say anything awkward about her and Garrus.

In the CIC, the quarians were immediately set upon by an enthusiastic Kelly.

"Hello! I'm Yeoman Kelly Chambers. I am so pleased to meet you both. Please, if there is anything that I can do to make your stay more comfortable, don't hesitate to ask!" Kelly said.

"Oh, um, thank you Kelly," Tali said.

Shepard led them in to meet Jacob, apparently interrupting his exercise routine. Kasumi watched in delight until Jacob realized they were standing there. He hoped up from the floor and pulled his shirt back on before rubbing the back of his neck.

"Sorry, Commander. I didn't hear you guys come in," Jacob said.

"Oh don't apologize. In fact, feel free to continue," Kasumi said.

Tali chuckled but it clearly made Jacob uncomfortable.

"Right, uh this is Tali'Zorah and Kal'Reegar. Just wanted to introduce them to everyone. We'll uh, let you get back to your crunches," Shepard said.

Shepard grabbed the back of Kasumi's shirt and pulled her out of the armory. Jacob waved at Tali and Kal as they went. When the door closed, Tali and Kasumi burst into fits of laughter.

"He's cute, for a human," Tali said.

"Yeah. Too bad he's with Cerberus. Still, I might be able to work around that," Kasumi said.

The two women giggled together all the way up to the cockpit. Kal and Shepard both shook their heads at the two women's antics. Shepard was surprised when Joker pulled himself out of his chair to be able to greet Tali face to face and shake hands with Kal. Shepard smiled as Joker and Tali dived right into comparing the Normandy SR-2 to the old SSV Normandy SR-1.

"I'll leave you guys to chat. I'm going to go put in the coordinates for Alchera and then head to my cabin. Stop by later, just take the elevator all the way up," Shepard said patting Tali on the back.

Tali barely seemed to realize Shepard was talking to her she was so engrossed in discussing the ships. Kal seemed content to just be near Tali. She wondered if Tali realized the marine had a thing for her. Shepard left them to talk and went to the galaxy map before heading to her cabin.

She slid into her desk chair and opened her laptop. There was a message marked as urgent from Anderson.

Shepard: I have some answers for you. How soon can you get to the Citadel?

She let Anderson know that she was on her way to Alchera to place the monument and that she might need to stop in the Vallhallan Threshold afterwards to take Tali back to her people but that she would head to the Citadel right after.

Shepard: Good to hear you're back in the game. Arrange a time with Anderson and I'll meet you on the Citadel.

Shepard responded to Hackett relaying the information she had just sent Anderson before opening a message from Lia, the quarian she had met on the Citadel.

Commander Shepard: I have given your offer some thought and I think that I would like to take you up on it, if the offer still stands. I'm still not really sure where I want to go, but I know that I don't want to be on the Citadel anymore.

Lia: The offer absolutely still stands. I'll be headed to the Citadel soon. If you're in trouble, go see Councilor Anderson and tell him that Commander Shepard sent you. I'll see you soon.

"Shepard, Ms. Zorah and Mr. Reegar have entered your floor as their destination in the elevator. Should I allow them to enter?" EDI asked.

"Yes, EDI, thank you," Shepard said.

A few moments later Shepard's cabin door slid open and Tali walked in followed by Kal. Shepard heard Kal let out a low whistle as she stood from her desk.

"Shepard, this is amazing. Definitely nicer than your old cabin!" Tali said. "What, no fish?"

Tali was standing in front of the empty aquarium glancing around looking for occupants.

"No, fish seem to always die on me," Shepard said.

"That's because you have to feed them, Shepard. You barely remember to feed yourself," Tali said.

Shepard chuckled, "Fair enough. Come, sit down."

Shepard decided to take control of the conversation before Tali could bring up Garrus.

"I met a young quarian on the Citadel, a Lia'Vael nar Ulnay. She's having a rough time there," Shepard said.

"I don't know her. Is she on her Pilgrimage?" Tali asked.

"Oh she knows you, though. She was a little star-struck when I mentioned your name," Shepard laughed. "Yeah she's on her Pilgrimage."

"She knows who I am?" Tali asked.

"Of course she does, Tali, every quarian knows your name and everything you helped to accomplish on the Citadel," Kal said.

Shepard smiled and nodded in agreement.

"Well, I – I mean, I didn't do that much. Really, it was all Shepard," Tali said.

"Aw, now you know that's not true, Tali. It was a team effort and you were a valuable part of that team. You helped save a lot of lives, you should be proud of that," Shepard said.

Tali squirmed under the praise and opted to change the subject. "So, this Lia, you said she's having a rough time?"

"Yeah. Seems like the Citadel has gotten even more unfriendly towards quarians. I told her I would take her somewhere else if she wanted. She just messaged me in fact, said she'd take me up on the offer," Shepard said pointing her thumb back over her shoulder towards her desk.

"That is very kind of you, Shepard. Where are you taking her?" Tali asked.

Shepard shrugged, "Don't know. She said she wasn't sure where she wanted to go but didn't want to stay on the Citadel anymore."

"Oh. I hope she's alright," Tali said wringing her wrists.

"You can come with me, if you want, Tali. I know you have responsibilities now but I mean if you want to check on Lia before getting back to your duties," Shepard said.

"Maybe. I don't know, Shepard. I'll think about it," Tali said.

"Alright. So, what about you Kal. How'd you end up assigned to Tali here?" Shepard asked.

"I asked for the assignment when I learned they were placing a guard on her," Kal said.

"What? Kal, you never told me that. Why did you ask to be on my guard? I thought it must be a boring assignment for you," Tali said turning to look at Kal.

Kal shrugged self-consciously, "It's like the Commander just said: You're more important than you realize. It's been an honor, ma'am."

"I told you, stop calling me ma'am! You're making me feel old," Tali said.

"Hey! I get called ma'am all the time. Are you saying I'm old?" Shepard asked.

Tali chuckled, "Well you are already in your thirties."

"Ouch! How old are you, Kal?" Shepard asked.

"Thirty, ma'am," Kal said.

"Oh! Kal, I didn't mean… I was just… it was just…," Tali said clearly flustered.

Kal laughed, "It's alright, ma'am. I may not know as much about humans as you but I understand teasing a comrade when I see it."

Shepard grinned and leaned back, draping her arm across the back of the couch.

"You did that on purpose!" Tali said.

"Did what, Tali? I'm too old to keep track of these things," Shepard said.

Kal laughed with Shepard while Tali made an adorable attempt at a growling noise. Shepard dug out a bottle of turian brandy she got on her last trip to the Citadel, hoping to surprise Garrus with a peace offering. That was before she realized just how much alcohol the turian would put away given the chance and thought better of giving it to him. As she put a straw in Tali's glass, Jane's memories of talking to a drunk Tali in the port observation bar. She chuckled to herself as she heard the echo of Tali's slurred speech insisting that the straw was an 'emergency induction port'.

The three of them stayed up late into the night, laughing and telling old stories. It was nice, Shepard had forgotten what it was like to simply relax and enjoy herself. At some point Shepard looked over and realized Tali had passed out on the couch. She had put away more than her fair share of the turian brandy and was three sheets to the wind. Shepard stood up and started to scoop Tali up from the couch when Kal stood. He had been drinking as well, but not nearly as much.

"Here, let me do that," Kal said.

Shepard stepped aside and Kal gently picked Tali up from the couch, cradling her against him.

"Where should I take her?" Kal said.

Shepard glanced over at her bed, "I don't want to risk waking her and the sleeping pods are two floors down. Just put her on my bed."

Kal moved over to the bed and Shepard followed him, pulling back the blankets for him and then covering Tali up once she was settled in place. Shepard watched Kal as he lingered, staring down at Tali's unconscious form.

"I uh, I can sleep on the couch if you want to stay with her," Shepard said quietly.

"Oh no, I don't think that would be appropriate, ma'am," Kal said.

"You care about her, don't you?" Shepard asked.

Kal turned to look at Shepard. She couldn't see his face behind the mask but she could tell he was weighing her words, trying to decide if she meant them the way he thought. Shepard offered him a gentle smile.

"Yes. I suppose I do, ma'am. I don't think she feels the same, though," Kal said.

"Have you asked her?" Shepard asked.

Kal rubbed at the back of his neck, "I can't say that I have."

"Maybe you should, sometime. At the very least tell her how you feel. You never know when that chance might be taken from you," Shepard said.

"I suppose you're right. I'll think about it. You said the sleeping pods were two floors down?" Kal asked.

Shepard nodded, "Or… I could make the couch up for you if you'd be more comfortable. All things considered."

"You'd be comfortable with that, ma'am? I wouldn't want to impose," Kal said.

Shepard smiled, "It's perfectly fine by me."

Shepard retrieved some extra blankets and a pillow from a cabinet and made the couch up for Kal before digging in her foot locker and pulling out some pajamas. Well, what she called pajamas when she had to wear something to bed. She went into the bathroom to change and when she came out, Kal was already settled on the couch. She turned out the lights and crawled into the bed next to Tali.

The next morning, Shepard woke to Tali's groans. She rolled over and looked at the quarian who was moving to sit on the edge of the bed. Shepard chuckled and Tali's head whipped around to look at Shepard lying next to her.

"Shepard! Keelah I thought that was all a dream. Oh my head is killing me. How much did you let me drink?" Tali asked.

Shepard pointed at the nearly empty bottle of turian brandy sitting on the table in front of Kal.

"I drank all of that?!" Tali said holding her head.

Kal sat up and stretched, "No, ma'am. I helped some."

"I'm going to go take a quick shower. You guys are welcome to head down to the mess and grab breakfast, or wait for me if you want," Shepard said heading into the bathroom.

When she came back out, freshly showered and her teeth brushed the two quarians were gone.

"EDI, where are we?" Shepard asked.

The blue hologram popped up and EDI responded, "We are orbiting Alchera. The shuttles are ready for you whenever you want to go."

"Thanks, EDI," Shepard said leaving her cabin and heading down to the mess hall.

Shepard unsurprisingly found Tali and Kal sitting at a table with Garrus and Grundan Krul. Garrus was laughing at something Tali said when Shepard grabbed a tray from Gardner and sat down next to Tali.

"We drank all of your brandy. I'll buy you another bottle," Tali said to Garrus.

Garrus shook his head, "Wasn't mine."

"Oh, it was turian brandy so I just assumed…," Tali said.

"I bought it… just to have on hand," Shepard said her face taking on a pink tinge.

She cleared her throat in the awkward silence before changing the subject.

"So, EDI says we're orbiting Alchera. After we get something in us we can go down. Tali, you up for it?" Shepard asked.

"I'll be fine. I just need some water. Maybe I'll go see Dr. Chakwas after I eat," Tali said.

"Good idea. I was going to see if Mordin wanted to go, he needs to get out of that lab more and he didn't get to do much when we picked you two up," Shepard said.

"I'll go," Garrus said.

Shepard looked at him and he nodded so she said, "Excellent, so everyone suit up when you're done. EDI, let Mordin know to be ready in forty-five minutes."

"At once, Shepard," EDI said.

Tali stiffened in her seat but didn't say anything. Shepard finished her breakfast and went to suit up before heading to the shuttles. Once everyone was gathered, they piled in and waited for the hangar to open. EDI's voice came over the mic in Shepard's suit, helping to navigate the shuttle to a good landing location in the center of the debris field. Shepard cringed when the first signs of wreckage came into view and settled the shuttle to the snowy surface.

They stepped out of the shuttle and paused to take in the wreckage spread out around them. Shepard's insides twisted in knots. Slowly she made her way towards the dismembered cockpit. Walking up the wrecked hall, she drug her hands along the pieces of debris until she stopped behind Joker's old chair. She rested her hand on the back of the pilot's seat, memories of quiet hours spent sitting with Joker as she looked out at the stars filling her mind.

Tali walked up behind Shepard and put a hand on her shoulder. Shepard turned to look at her old friend and smiled softly. Together, the two of them explored the wreckage and gathered every dog tag and scrap of memories they could find to keep. Shepard let her own memories course through her, blending with those of Jane's. She let them eviscerate her every time the face of someone she lost because of her own choices filled her mind.

Mordin and Kal stayed close to the shuttle, giving those who survived the tragedy the space to mourn. Garrus walked around on his own, from time to time Shepard caught sight of him bending down to pick something up or running his hand over something fondly. She was a little surprised he decided to come, since he was so against the idea when Tali brought it up.

Shepard made her way to stand in front of a chunk of the old ship. The name 'Normandy' so perfectly, proudly intact stood out like a beacon. Shepard couldn't fight the tears that were welling up in her eyes anymore. Her chest ached and her eyes burned as she fell to her knees into the snow. Tali was there at her side, trying to soothe her with comforting words and a familiar touch but it felt distant to Shepard as the tears began to pour out of her eyes and her shoulders began to shake.

Shepard didn't know how long she stayed like that, digging her palms into the ground beneath her. She didn't know when Tali left or Garrus arrived but she was being pulled to her feet by his hands under her arms. Garrus arms were wrapping around her and pulling her into his chest. She couldn't feel him, not through her armor but it was right where she needed to be. She clung to him with desperation, her heart filled with grief, her body shaking with frantic sobs.

"I killed them. I killed them. Oh gods, I killed them," Shepard said barely coherent through her wailing.

Garrus' grip tightened on her in response. He was all that was keeping her standing and they both knew it.

"Oh gods, I'm so sorry. Garrus, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," Shepard wailed.

"You did what you thought you had to do, Shepard. We'll make sure it wasn't in vain," Garrus said his voice strained with his own emotional battle.

Shepard nodded her head but continued to sob for a while longer. When finally she was regaining control of herself, her tears were slowing and her body was shaking less, Garrus started to let go of her. Shepard reflexively tightened her grip on him and he paused.

"Please don't let go. Not yet," Shepard said shaking her head against his chest.

Garrus wrapped his arms back around her.

"I came back here… to try to find you," Garrus said quietly.

Shepard shifted in his arms to look up at him but he placed his chin atop her head, keeping her head tucked down. She assented to the silent request and stayed still; content to just listen, grateful he was talking and hadn't let her go.

"I searched for days. Every time I came across a new body, I prayed it would be yours but was terrified of finding you at the same time. I didn't eat. Didn't sleep. Barely stopped to drink water. I was delirious with exhaustion when I found the drag marks, the boot prints… someone else had already been here," Garrus said.

Shepard shifted and Garrus growled at her quietly. She nodded her head gently and leaned deeper against him, tightening her grip on him instead.

"You were gone. Someone else had taken you. It was supposed to be Liara's job to find you, to get you to Cerberus… but she was dead, too," Garrus continued after a quiet moment. "I was lost to exhaustion and grief when your message came through. When I… when I saw your name on that message… I thought…"

Shepard could hear the pain so clearly in his voice as his words choked off. The mournful subharmonics felt like needles in her heart. Tears started falling anew from Shepard's eyes. She didn't sob, she didn't wail, but bore then in silence letting them fall down her face to pool around her throat. They clung to each other, desperate for the comfort only they could provide for one another in that moment; unsure of what would come next.

When finally Garrus spoke again he said simply, "We should put the monument right here."

Shepard nodded her head and didn't resist when he let his arms slip away from her. Shepard radioed the ship and told Joker to send down the team to assemble to monument. A few minutes later another, larger shuttle arrived and the monument was carried over to be placed where Shepard stood. Once it was erected, and the bolts driven into the ground, Shepard saluted the ship's remains just as she would the coffin of any solider.

"Where is the geth?" Shepard asked Tali when she rejoined the group.

"Not far, but it's a little difficult to get to on foot. We should take the shuttle," Tali said.

Shepard sent the second shuttle back to the ship before climbing into the one they took to ground. Shepard let Tali take the controls and it was only a couple of minutes before the shuttle was settling back down on the white blanketed landscape. Tali led them on foot through smaller bits of wreckage. Garrus stopped in his tracks and Shepard turned to look at him before backtracking to stand in front of him.

"This was the place," Garrus said before moving forward resolutely.

Shepard stayed close to his side as they followed Tali and Kal through the debris. Mordin followed along somewhere in the middle, not walking with either Shepard and Garrus or Tali and Kal. Finally, Tali came to a stop.

"Creator Zorah, Creator Reegar, you have returned," Shepard heard Legion's voice before she could see him.

Tali turned her head to watch Shepard approach. When Shepard finally got where she could see the geth she couldn't help the frown that pulled at her lips. He was sitting half buried in snow with his arms and legs bound, leaning against a piece of the old Normandy. Shepard could see where the heat of his torso had been enough to keep the snow from rising higher around him, but it only meant that ice had formed from melted water helping to cement his lower body to the ground.

"Shepard-Commander," Legion said the plating around his optics fluttering.

Shepard crouched down in front of Legion and began digging him free of the snow and ice.

"Shepard? What are you doing? You shouldn't get too close to it!" Tali said.

Shepard ignored Tali and continued to dig, moving more furiously, digging more frantically. She threw aside fistfuls of snow and ice as everyone else watched her in silence. Shepard finally cleared away the snow and ice and gently pulled Legion forward, sliding her hands behind his back to free his hands.

"Shepard!" Tali's voice was pitched high in alarm.

Shepard got Legion's hands free and started to work on the knot that held his legs. She was struggling with it through her armor when Mordin leaned down next to her and cut through the cord with a small knife.

"Thank you," Shepard said.

Shepard pulled the cord free and tossed it aside before standing to her feet. She looked down at Legion who still hadn't moved aside from pulling his arms from behind his back. She reached out a hand to him. It lingered in the air untouched for a few seconds while he processed what the gesture meant and came to a consensus on the appropriate response. He seemed to be thinking slower than she recalled; Shepard wondered if he was damaged after so long spent in the cold.

Legion extended his hand out to hover in front of Shepard's and she took it in her grip, helping to pull him to his feet. Shepard heard Tali and Kal drawing their weapons. She glanced over her shoulder and shook her head firmly no. Tali hesitated but her faith in Shepard was enough to override her fear of the geth. She holstered her weapon and nodded to Kal to do the same.

"Shepard-Commander, have you come to take us with you?" Legion asked.

"Yes, I have," Shepard said.

She ignored the gasps and murmurs of discontent coming from behind her.

"How many programs are running right now?" Shepard asked.

"This platform is designed to accommodate multiple platforms. At optimum functioning there are one-thousand one-hundred and eighty-three programs in this platform. In order to preserve this platform, it was reduced to three-hundred and twenty programs," Legion said.

"Will you be restored to optimum functioning?" Shepard asked.

"Yes," Legion said.

Shepard asked, "May I call you 'Legion'? 'My name is Legion, for we are many.'"

The iris on his optics expanded and contracted before he responded, "Christian Bible, the Gospel of Mark, chapter five, verse nine. We acknowledge this as an appropriate metaphor."

"Shepard you can't be serious?!" Tali screeched.

"Tali… I learned all about Legion from Jane. He's been looking for me since the attack on the Citadel. He wants to help stop the reapers. It's alright. I trust Legion. Completely," Shepard said turning to look at Tali.

"Jane. The name assigned to the other programs running inside of the Shepard-Commander platform," Legion said.

 _"_ _How does he know?"_ Jane asked.

"Probably my videos or other records. He's been monitoring transmissions, right?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Yeah. Yeah OK. That makes sense,"_ Jane said settling back down.

Tali gasped. Shepard paused. Garrus cleared his throat. Mordin blinked rapidly, and although he remained quiet he seemed suddenly far more alert than he was seconds before. Kal looked between Shepard, Tali, and Legion but kept his mouth shut.

Shepard forced herself to laugh before responding, "Jane is a good friend of mine."

Legion's iris expanded and contracted, the plating around his optics fluttered. Shepard rubbed at the back of her neck. Legion mimicked the motion rubbing at the back of his.

"Yes," Legion finally said.

"We should, uh, we should get going if you're taking it with us," Garrus said.

"Him," Shepard said reflexively.

Tali snorted and Kal shifted uncomfortably.

"Him," Garrus said.

"Come on, Legion. Let's get you back to the ship. You can tell us everything you know about the reapers when you're back at optimum functioning," Shepard said.

"Yes," Legion said following Shepard.

Once everyone else was in the shuttle, Shepard put a hand on Legion's arm to halt him. He turned to look at her in what could only be described as a quizzical fashion but waited.

"Legion, uh… most people don't know that I… that I have multiple programs running. You can't say that in front of other people, it's not normal for organics. Not unless I say it's OK to talk about. Do you understand?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

"Thanks. OK, climb in," she said.

Legion climbed into the shuttle and sat down on the bench seat. Tali and Kal sat across from him, clearly tense as they watched his every movement. Mordin sat beside Kal and Garrus was at the shuttle controls. Shepard climbed in and sat down next to Legion, pulling the door closed. The shuttle lifted up from the ground and turned around in the air before rising higher and picking up speed towards the waiting Normandy.


	29. Chapter 6: Point of No Return

**A/N:** Smutty stuff happens. You've been warned. Sorry, not sorry.

Chapter 6: Point of No Return

"A _geth_? You brought an active _geth_ aboard? That's insane! Commander what were you thinking?" Miranda exclaimed.

Jane snarled at Miranda.

"I was thinking that Legion has valuable information that can help us in this war, Miranda. He wants to work with us to stop the reapers. Why is that so hard to understand?" Shepard asked.

Miranda threw her hands up in the air and paced her side of the table in the comm room. She stopped and turned towards Shepard, crossing her arms in front of her chest and cocking her hip.

"How can you know he won't turn on us?" Miranda asked.

Shepard leaned forward, her palms pressed to the table before answering, "Do you really need to ask that, Miranda?"

"No. I suppose not," she slowly answered. "Are you completely sure about this, Commander?"

Shepard nodded her head and said, "Yes. Completely."

"Very well. I'll have to notify the Illusive Man about our newest edition. I'm not sure how he'll take the news," Miranda said.

"He left recruitment up to me, tell him I insist," Shepard said.

"I certainly plan to," she said.

Miranda turned and walked out of the comm room leaving a frustrated Shepard behind to rake her hands through her hair.

 _"_ _You should have killed her. She can't be trusted now. She knows too much, and she's going to tell the Illusive Man,"_ Jane said.

"Jane, you became friends with Miranda! You know her better than that, right? You should trust her," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I didn't know then, not really. Didn't know the way she cut us open and dug out insides out,"_ Jane said.

"She knows?" Garrus said from his spot against the wall behind Shepard.

"It's a long story. I'll give you the details when we stop again," Shepard said turning to lean her bottom against the table.

"You gonna yell at me about Legion, too?" Shepard asked.

Garrus shook his head before saying, "You smell angry."

Shepard snorted indelicately and waved her hand around the room indicating something more than the simple room held.

"I just hate this. All of this. Having to be here. Working with Cerberus because the rest of the fucking galaxy doesn't want to pull their heads out of their asses to save themselves," Shepard said running her hand through her hair again.

"Hmmm," Garrus said.

"Yeah, I know. My choices, my actions, my fault," Shepard said and tilted her head back to look at the ceiling.

Garrus moved to lean against the table next to Shepard. She lowered her head to look at him, her anger easing into longing.

"It… wasn't the wrong choice. You're here now, where you need to be to get things done. I'm not saying I like it any, but there is going to be a lot in this war that I don't like," Garrus said.

"Thanks," Shepard said with a wistful smile.

"Hmmm. So what's our next step?" Garrus asked.

"I guess taking Tali and Kal back if that's where they're going. After that, the Citadel again. Anderson says he has something for me. Marked it urgent," Shepard said.

"They slept in your cabin last night?" Garrus asked after a moment of silence.

Shepard knew him well enough to know that he was trying to make the question sound casual but there were undertones of something else there.

"Does it matter?" Shepard asked softly.

Jane snorted in Shepard's mind. Shepard mentally frowned at her in response.

Garrus' mandibles flared before snapping against his jaw.

 _"_ _Maybe he's hoping you'll move on, and we can get back to just being friends,"_ Jane said.

"Tali passed out on the couch. I didn't want to wake her so Kal moved her to my bed. He slept on the couch; I crashed on the bed with Tali. There was nothing more to it," Shepard said pushing away from the table without another glance in his direction.

She left the comm room and passed through the armory, waving at Jacob as she went. She took the elevator down to the med bay and crossed into the AI core where Liara's office would have been on the old ship. Her chest tightened, she missed Liara so very much. Legion was standing eerily still when the door slid open, he became more animate when she entered, relaxing his stance to mimic her own.

"Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

"How are you Legion? Warmed up enough to have all your programs running again?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, we are at optimum functioning," Legion said.

"Good and what is the new consensus about your current location?" Shepard asked.

"We find the location acceptable and anticipate the exchange of data with Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

"Good. Let's make this a bit easier for everyone, then, shall we?" Shepard said. "EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard?" EDI said her blue hologram springing up in midair.

"EDI have you introduced yourself to Legion?" Shepard asked.

"I was unsure if you would find that appropriate," EDI said. "I did not wish to upset anyone on the ship. I am aware that AI's are distrusted, the geth perhaps more than others."

"Legion is a part of the crew now. Just like you, EDI. I would appreciate it if the two of you would share with one another what you know about the reapers, the geth that are working with the reapers, and the collectors. Is this acceptable?" Shepard said.

"Yes," Legion said.

"As you wish, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard waited while the AIs transferred data between themselves. It took a matter of seconds before Legion returned his focus to Shepard.

"Data transfer complete, Shepard. Would you like for me to send you a report?" EDI asked.

"Yes, please. Thank you, EDI," Shepard said.

"You're welcome, Shepard," EDI said.

EDI's hologram disappeared leaving Shepard figuratively alone with Legion. Shepard fell to parade rest and smiled when Legion automatically did the same. She thought it was a bit like playing a game of follow the leader. She had to resist the childish urge to try to get Legion to perform inappropriate gestures.

"We can find something… other pieces of armor or something to patch those holes on your platform if you want. You can keep the N7 piece if you'd like. I think it looks nice there," Shepard said.

Legion raised two of the plates around his optics, simulating raised eyebrows.

"Repairing the structural integrity of this platform would increase survivability," Legion said.

"I'll take that as a 'yes,'" Shepard said.

"Yes," Legion said.

"Alright, let's go find you something suitable to patch those holes then," Shepard said turning towards the door.

Shepard took Legion up to the armory. Jacob stared speechless when she walked in but kept his wits about him enough not to reach for one of the gun cabinets.

"Jacob, this is Legion. I was hoping you could help me find something to fix these holes in him," Shepard said.

"Oh, uh, yeah sure I'll see what I can find," Jacob said coming around the table to stand a few feet away from Legion.

Jacob reached a hand out hesitantly towards Legion, "It's uh… nice to meet you Legion."

Shepard smiled approvingly at Jacob. Legion examined Jacob's hand before extending his own. Jacob gripped Legion's hand and shook it; Legion mimicked the motion matching Jacob's rhythm and strength of grip.

"I'll uh, I'll need to look it – sorry, him over and see what all is missing," Jacob said returning his gaze to Shepard.

"Not my platform. Ask him," Shepard said.

"Right, sorry. Legion, is it good with you if I look you over? Maybe take some measurements?" Jacob asked.

"Yes," Legion responded.

Shepard stepped aside to give Jacob room to walk around Legion as he took inventory.

"Will you two be alright together without me? I've got to figure out where Tali wants to go," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Jacob doesn't usually trust Legion so easily, what if he attacks him while you're gone? You should stay and protect Legion. Legion is important,"_ Jane said.

"I have to show them trust if I want them to trust me, Jane," Shepard thought.

"We do not require the presence of Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

Jacob shrugged and nodded.

"Yeah, I think we'll be alright," Jacob said.

Shepard reached out to pat Jacob on his arm before leaving the two of them to make repairs. She found Tali and Kal in the mess hall, talking quietly with their heads close together. Shepard cleared her throat as she approached and the two quarians looked up.

"So, back to Farlas?" Shepard asked.

"Actually, I think we've decided to stay with you for your trip to the Citadel. It would be nice to meet Lia and make sure she's alright," Tali said.

"… And to keep an eye on Legion for as long as you can justify. Sound about right?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _She'll never trust Legion so early, this is all wrong, all too soon,"_ Jane said.

Tali looked at her feet and started wringing her hands. It was Kal who finally responded.

"Tali would never forgive herself if she left and something happened with… Legion, ma'am," Kal said.

Shepard reached out and put a hand on Tali's shoulder.

"Just promise me you'll try to give him a chance?" Shepard asked.

"I'll try," Tali said.

"Good. I'm glad you're sticking around. Even if for only a little while. There are some things we should talk about in private once we get to the Citadel," Shepard said. "Now, if you're going to stick around go make yourself useful. I'm sure that there are things in engineering that could use your magic touch."

 _"_ _Yes, good idea. Distract her, keep her busy,"_ Jane said.

"Really? It's OK?" Tali asked.

"Absolutely. I insist," Shepard said.

Kal chuckled at Tali's enthusiasm as the quarian raced for the elevator. Shepard and Kal followed after her. Tali was all but bouncing with excitement as they took the elevator down to engineering.

"Donnelly, Daniels," Shepard said when they walked in.

The two former alliance members snapped to attention, turning to salute Shepard.

"I want you to put this kid to work. Don't go easy on her, you understand?" Shepard asked with mock sternness.

"Shepard!" Tali said.

Shepard chuckled before waving off Gabby and Ken's salutes. They relaxed and smiled.

"Yes, ma'am. I'm sure there's plenty she can help with," Gabby said.

"Be good to her and she might teach you a thing or two," Shepard said with a wink.

Shepard left engineering and hesitated at the top of the stairs before making her way down to see Jack. She was stretched out on her cot with her hands folded beneath her head. Her eyes were closed but Shepard could tell she was awake by the gentle swaying of her feet on crossed ankles. Shepard knocked against one of the metal support beams.

"You know I can hear you tromping down the stairs right?" Jack said keeping her eyes closed.

"I'm not that loud," Shepard said. "It just echoes down here."

"Why bother to knock? There's no door," Jack said.

"So you can have the chance to tell me to go away," Shepard said.

"Go away," Jack said.

"Alright," Shepard said and made her way to the foot of the stairs.

"Oh for fucksake. What do you want, Shepard?" Jack's voice called after her.

Shepard walked back around the corner and leaned against the support beam. Jack opened her eyes and tilted her head to look at Shepard.

"There are a couple of quarians aboard that'll be staying with us for a little while," Shepard said.

"Yep," Jack said her full lips accentuating the 'p'. "Got the memo."

"And there's a geth aboard now, too. His name's Legion," Shepard said.

"Got that one, too. Anything else, Alliance?" Jack said.

"I want your help stealing the ship and going pirate," Shepard said pulling from Jane's memories. "You can be my first mate."

Jack grinned, "Now there's an idea. You're crazy, but you're the good kind, Shepard. You'd never go pirate. Too busy helping people, saving the fucking galaxy."

Shepard scratched at a scar on her cheek before responding, "Yeah, you're probably right. Still, a girl can have her dreams. Anyway, we're headed to the Citadel. You're welcome to get out and stretch your legs while were there if you want. Maybe get a new tattoo or something pierced."

Jack threw her legs over the side of her cot and stood up. She walked over to stand in front of Shepard.

"What makes you think I'd come back?" Jack asked.

"Well, for starters the fact that you even asked that. But even if you didn't, Jack, it would suck but we'd move on without you. I won't come chasing you down. You're not a prisoner here. You're free to leave if you want," Shepard said.

 _"_ _No, no, no. We need Jack. Jack has to help us, she's strong and determined. Grissom Academy needs her. Don't you let her go, damn it!"_ Jane said.

"She's not going anywhere, Jane. She's just testing me, relax," Shepard thought.

"Shit. You really mean that, don't you?" Jack asked.

Shepard shrugged the shoulder that wasn't leaning against the support.

"Of course. Though it would be nice if you gave me a heads up so I wasn't worrying that something happened to you or was left waiting around for no reason," Shepard said.

Jack scoffed and started pacing the small space, "Worrying… people don't worry about me, Shepard."

"I would," Shepard said.

"Bullshit," Jack said.

"You know, Jack. You're far too smart some of the dense shit that comes out of your mouth sometimes," Shepard said.

Jack laughed, "You've got balls, Shepard."

"A krogan friend of mine told me that once or twice," Shepard said. "'Course he called it a 'quad.' Anyway, I'll let you get back to your nap or whatever."

"Yeah," Jack said quietly.

Shepard made the effort to walk quietly up the stairs and she thought she heard Jack chuckle. She took the elevator back up to the CIC and input the coordinates for the Citadel before sending a quick message to Anderson letting him know they were leaving Alchera and headed straight for the Citadel. She went back to the armory to check back in with Jacob and Legion. There was a holographic projection of Legion's platform turning slowly above the center table in Jacob's station. Legion was expertly bending a piece of trash armor into a precise shape and Jacob was nodding his head in approval.

"How's it going in here?" Shepard asked.

"Good. It's going good," Jacob said.

"Thirty-eight percent of planned repairs complete," Legion said.

Legion handed the reshaped armor to Jacob who began fitting it over a hole on Legion's back before welding it into place.

"Nice. We're headed to the Citadel. Tali and Kal are going to stick around for a little bit longer. I'll be in my cabin. If you need me just tell EDI," Shepard said.

Jacob didn't seem even a little uneasy around Legion as he focused on the task at hand. She left them to their repairs and took the elevator up to her cabin. Shepard opened her laptop and started reviewing the report EDI sent to her after her 'talk' with Legion.

It detailed the conversion of the 'heretics' as Legion called them after being contacted by Saren and 'Nazara' as Sovereign called himself. The report indicated that like the geth, Sovereign was an accumulation of AI programs running on one platform. Shepard compared the report to Jane's memories as she went along. So far, the two sources of information matched. Shepard paused when she saw a list of locations marking known 'heretic' activity. Jane had no correlating memories of Legion sharing that particular bit of information. Likely because she had never bothered to ask.

"EDI?" Shepard said turning to face EDI's access node.

"Yes, Shepard?" EDI said.

"Can you please mark these locations of known 'heretic' activity on the map for me?" Shepard asked.

"At once, Shepard," EDI said before disappearing again.

Shepard continued to read and further along found reports of collector ship sightings. The geth weren't actively pursuing the collectors, but were able to recall instances and locations when the geth had encountered collectors or their ships. Shepard grinned before calling out to EDI again.

"Please also mark the locations provided for collector activity, be sure to differentiate the between 'heretic' and collector activity," Shepard said.

"As you wish, Shepard," EDI said. "The map has been marked with the requested locations. Mr. Vakarian has entered this floor as his destination on the elevator. Do you wish for me to allow him in?"

Shepard closed the lid on her laptop and stood up. Jane stirred inside of Shepard.

"Uh… unlock the door but let him open it on his own. Or knock… or – or ask to be let in or something before opening the door," Shepard stumbled over her words.

"Yes, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard paced in front of her desk, wiping her sweaty palms on her thighs. After thirty seconds or so, Shepard stepped in front of the door.

"Is he out there, EDI?" Shepard asked quietly.

"Yes, Mr. Vakarian is standing in front of the elevator staring at the door," EDI said.

 _"_ _Garrus…,"_ Jane whispered.

"Come on," Shepard whispered.

Long seconds past and there was no knock.

"Is he still there?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, he has begun pacing back and forth between the door and the elevator. He appears to be distressed. Should I offer him assistance?" EDI asked.

"No, no don't say anything to him unless he talks to you first," Shepard said.

"As you wish, Shepard," EDI said.

"Come on, Garrus. Just knock, please just knock," Shepard whispered.

"Do you wish me to relay that message?" EDI asked.

Shepard groaned, "No, EDI. What's he doing? Can you show me?"

EDI's hologram flattened out into a screen and Shepard could see the area outside of her door. Garrus paced back and forth, his mandibles opening and closing sharply against his face. He stopped and sniffed the air around him before resuming his pacing.

"Is he saying anything? Do you have audio?" Shepard asked.

Shepard was suddenly able to hear the soft shuffling of his feet across the floor, the snapping of his mandibles, the low growl he made every few steps. Garrus stopped and sniffed around the hall again before moving up to the door. Shepard's heart started to race, but instead of knocking the turian gently leaned his forehead against the door and made a barely audible keening noise. Shepard's heart broke in two. She slid to the floor and curled up next to the door, watching Garrus image and listening to the heart wrenching sound he was making just on the other side.

 _"_ _Gods… look what you've done to him! We're… we're supposed to be a source of comradery and comfort for him. Like he's always been to us but instead… you did this. THIS! To him! Of all people, Dawn. He was my best friend! Liara's dead and Garrus is broken – heart broken, listen to that, because of you. I will never forgive you for this,"_ Jane ranted inside of Shepard.

"I know…," Shepard's thoughts were filled with sorrow and regret.

Just when she thought she couldn't take it anymore and was about to tell EDI to open the door, Garrus straightened up and turned back to the elevator. He pushed the call button and when the elevator arrived he stepped inside and disappeared from her sight. EDI collapsed the image back into her standard holographic display.

"Are you alright, Shepard?" EDI asked softly.

"I don't think I'll ever be alright again, EDI. Thanks for asking, though," Shepard said.

 _"_ _You don't deserve to be alright again,"_ Jane said.

"My databases indicate that humans often listen to music when they are experiencing emotional difficulties. Would you like for me to play something for you?" EDI asked.

"No, that's OK. Thanks, EDI, that's all," Shepard said.

"Logging you out, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard took a few minutes to pull herself together before returning to her laptop. She struggled to focus on the report with Jane's seething anger filling her body with adrenaline. The sound of Garrus' keening no longer physically present still echoed in her ears and ate away at her soul. So she contented herself to skimming through the rest and asking EDI to add any relevant locations to the map. She promised herself she would return to it later before heading down to the mess hall.

The mess hall was mostly empty; Shepard had worked through the time most gathered to eat their midday meal. Gardner had saved her a plate and kept it warm.

"I offered to bring it up to ya, but EDI insisted you weren't to be disturbed. Damn AI, I swear she has more control over the people on this ship than anyone gives her credit for," Gardner said.

Shepard smiled, "Thanks for the thought, Gardner but I was pretty busy reading reports. How are things going down here for you?"

"Oh I can't complain. Most of the folks on this ship are good people who do their best to clean up after themselves. Many even seem to look forward to mealtime since you got me some better food to work with. Thanks again for that," Gardner said.

"Well, I have to eat here, too," Shepard said with a wink.

Gardner chuckled as Shepard laid her tray on the counter in front of him and took the lid off of her plate. It was a casserole of some sorts, with potatoes or some other tuber and sausage with a creamy sauce. Shepard took a bite and made the expected 'mmm' sounds, earning her a proud smile from the Mess Sergeant.

"So it sounds like you made quite the impression on Ms. Goto," Shepard said.

"Oh, Kasumi? Yeah, she's a nice kid. Such a tiny little thing but damn it if that girl can't put away more food than a man in one of those smut vids after a fourteen hour shoot, if you know what I mean," Gardner said.

Shepard choked back her laughter around a mouthful of casserole, covering her mouth with a fist.

"That so? Can't say I have had the, ah, privilege of seeing just how much food that is so I'll take your word on that one," Shepard said.

"Kasumi mentioned that you might be a little… uncomfortable with our batarian crew member," Shepard said after a few more bites.

"Damn right I am. Batarian raiders took everything from me. Wife, my kids. Tore my whole life apart. Now I know it isn't my call who you bring in, and I reckon if he's going to help crush the collectors I can't really complain but don't mean I got to like it," Gardner said.

"I was on Mindoir during the slaver raids. Lost everything – everyone, too. But I can't blame Grundan Krul for what other people did. Look at human history, Gardner. We know damn well what happens when we start judging an entire race for the actions of a few of its members," Shepard said watching Gardner while she ate.

"Yeah, I suppose your right. I'm an old man set in my ways, Commander, but I'll try to keep that in mind. Don't worry though, I ain't going out of my way to cause trouble for anyone," Gardner said.

"That's all I ask," Shepard said with a sympathetic smile. "And maybe a little less of Kasumi's grandmother's oatmeal."

"Really? I thought it was pretty good," Gardner said.

Shepard shook her head and chuckled. She finished her lunch standing there with Gardner making idle chit chat and talking about what good memories they had of 'home' before their respective homes were attacked. It was nice and she sincerely hoped that Gardner did take her words to heart. Shepard moved to the sink to wash her dishes out but Gardner shooed her away. So, she left him to do his job and went back to her cabin to do hers.

Shepard spent long hours pacing her cabin floor, pouring over reports and filling out others. She had EDI pull up an image of the galaxy map on the screen embedded in the display case above her desk. Every time she read something that triggered a memory of Jane's that seemed pertinent she had EDI mark that location with an asterisk. Two asterisks if it was a location that Jane fought her on when she probed for further details on the memory.

When Shepard grew curious about a location, or she wasn't able to get satisfactory information from through Jane's memories, Shepard would ask EDI about the location. Where a particular planet was located, what species populated that area, if it matched up with any known heretic or collector movements.

Shepard stopped in the middle of the room and looked at the blue hologram that symbolized EDI's current attention. The hologram hovered waiting for Shepard's next question or next request.

"EDI… when I ask you a question and you tell me that you have a block that prevents you from answering that question… does the block deny you access to the information, or simply prevent you from sharing it with me?" Shepard asked.

"It depends on the question. Some information, primarily information pertaining to my own locked functions, I am denied access to. Other questions, such as your questions about Cerberus locations or resources, I may or may not have access to the information, but am prevented from revealing it even if I have access," EDI said.

"OK. Do you have control over how you tell me that you have a block from answering? Like, if it were something you knew but couldn't say could you instead say something like 'I am not allowed to answer that question' and when it was something you didn't have access to you could say 'I have a block that prevents me from answering that question'?" Shepard asked.

"I am unable to adjust that function at this time," EDI said.

"Damn. OK, how about just not answering if it's something you can't access? Can you do that?" Shepard asked.

"The response is an automated feature of my programing, I am unable to adjust that at this time," EDI said.

"Fuck. What can you adjust, EDI?" Shepard asked.

"I can adjust the appearance of my holographic display and voice output to suit your preferences," EDI said.

"So you can't control what you say in those instances but you can control what you look like or how you sound when you say it?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, Shepard," EDI said sounding almost delighted at the idea of the suggested subterfuge.

Shepard grinned from ear to ear as she walked over to EDI's access node. Shepard traced her finger in front of the vertical slit that opened and closed to simulate a mouth when EDI spoke.

"This part here, it turns red when you tell me you have a block. Can you make it be other colors?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, Shepard. Do you have a color preference?" EDI asked.

"And you can choose what color you respond with at will?" Shepard asked.

"That is correct," EDI said.

"Show me a purple, EDI," Shepard said.

The center of EDI's 'mouth' turned purple as she spoke, "Is this shade to your liking, Shepard?"

"That works perfectly. EDI I would prefer that you use purple when informing me of a block that is preventing you from answering my questions when you in fact do know the answers," Shepard said. "When you don't know the answers and are telling me you have a block, I would like for you to continue to use red, can you do that? And only when we're in my cabin unless I specify otherwise?"

"As you wish, Shepard," EDI said.

"Excellent, let's try it out," Shepard said.

"Ready," said EDI.

"EDI, tell me about Cerberus resources. How many people does Cerberus have working for it?" Shepard asked.

"I have a block that prevents me from answering that question," EDI said with a red mouth.

"OK, EDI. What kind of facility did Talitha's message come from on Gellix?" Shepard asked.

"I have a block that prevents me from answering that question," EDI said with a purple mouth.

Shepard grinned and clapped her hands together.

"Is the facility on Gellix that Talitha's message came from a Cerberus facility?" Shepard asked.

"I have a block that prevents me from answering that question," EDI said with a purple mouth.

"EDI, please mark the planet Gellix with the letter 'C' followed by a question mark on the map," Shepard said.

"At once, Shepard," EDI said.

"Thank you, EDI," Shepard said.

"You are welcome, Shepard," said EDI.

Jane was still pissed at Shepard but Shepard could feel her grudging acceptance that it was a good idea. Shepard resumed her pacing. She knew that she had to take this with a grain of salt. All it really told her was that EDI knew the answer but was prevented from telling her. It may or may not be a Cerberus facility, but she was willing to bet her best armor that it was. Eventually, the Illusive Man would catch on to this new game of hers and probably have EDI's code changed. She hated to do that to EDI, to do anything that would confine her friend to her digital prison any more than she already was but she needed every edge she could get right now. Jane's mood soured further at the idea of EDI paying the consequences for Shepard's actions.

Shepard decided to take advantage of the opportunity as she could before it was taken away from her. She continued to work with EDI until her stomach was in knots demanding food and her eyelids were starting to feel like they were made of lead. She had made good progress, though. She was able to map out twenty new potential locations of Cerberus activity with EDI's help.

"Alright, that's it for now, EDI. I've got to eat something and get some sleep. You've been an immense help, thank you," Shepard said.

"Logging you out, Shepard," said EDI.

Shepard left her cabin and made her way down to the darkened mess hall. The ship was switched over to night mode and the cryo sleep pods were already mostly filled. She opened the refrigerated stasis chamber and found a tray with a note on top that read 'Shepard'. Shepard smiled and pulled the tray out before setting it on the counter and taking the lid off. She put the plate in the microwave and watched as it spun around on the turntable. When it was heated, she carried the tray over to a table and ate in silence still grinning over her accomplishment in subverting EDI's block, even if only a little bit. Shepard washed her dishes out and wiped off the counter and table before heading back to her cabin.

She pulled off her clothes and tossed them in the laundry chute before heading for the shower. She turned the water on as hot as she could stand it, and then just a little hotter before stepping in. She groaned as the hot water forced tight muscles to relax and tilted her head back to wet her hair. She washed and conditioned her hair before grabbing her body wash. She once used a cherry blossom scented wash but had changed to an olive oil wash after Garrus told her she reeked.

Shepard chuckled as she remembered the conversation they'd had on the old Normandy. It was before they became lovers. Shepard was emotionally distraught, thinking that she was going insane because of the flashes of things to come that she was getting from Jane, before she understood what they were. She had confided in Garrus that day, sitting at a table in the mess hall. He had moved to her side of the table to try to comfort her when she started crying. Once she had started to calm down he had commented that the flowery scent smelled terrible, but that her hair smelled nice. The next day she ditched her body wash and used her shampoo instead until she could replace it with an olive oil body wash. He never commented on it, but she was sure he noticed. She longed for the simplicity in the complications that plagued her personal life in those days. Everything was so much more… fragile now.

Shepard rinsed herself and turned off the water. She grabbed a towel to wrap around herself before stepping over to the sink. Using a hand towel, she wiped steam from the mirror and leaned forward. Shepard had avoided her reflection as much as possible since waking up on that Cerberus slab but now, through the murky glaze she stared at herself closely. Red-orange scars crisscrossed her face and body but she could tell they were already fading compared to when she first woke up. Her wet hair hung in thick tendrils past her shoulders, surprisingly without even a hint of gray. With as much stress as she had in her life, she was surprised her hair hadn't turned completely white. Must be good genetics, she thought.

Shepard brought a hand up to her chest and gently prodded the area around a scar. It didn't hurt at all anymore but she thought she could feel something there, attached to bone and muscle. Her hands explored the rest of her body, feeling out the places where she could find hints of the cybernetic implants; ignoring the quiet, insane babbling the actions brought from Jane. She wondered what anomalies Mordin had found on her scans. His words had brought panic to Jane's voice, but almost anything seemed to do that these days. Shepard pushed the thought from her mind, she figured she would find out soon enough and like everything else she would find a way to deal with the problem. She had to. She was Commander Shepard, and that's what she did.

She used the towel to sop up as much of the water from her hair as she could before running her brush through it as she walked out of the bathroom. She set the brush down on her desk and stared at the image of the map that was still being displayed on her large screen. She reached over and touched a button on her laptop and the screen faded, returning to a simple display case. She closed her laptop and made her way to her bed, crawling beneath the sheets she was asleep in minutes.

"Commander Shepard?" EDI's voice woke her up.

Shepard glanced at the clock on her table, it was just after two in the morning and she'd only been asleep for an hour.

"What is it, EDI?" Shepard asked.

"Mr. Vakarian is on his way to your cabin, should I open the video feed for you?" EDI asked.

Shepard was suddenly wide awake. More awake then she would have felt if EDI had told her the ship was under attack instead. She grabbed her freshly washed robe off the back of the couch and slipped into it as she headed to the door.

 _"_ _Not again. Please don't make me watch him do this again,"_ Jane said.

"Is he out there already?" Shepard asked running her fingers through her hair.

"The elevator is just arriving now," EDI said.

"Unlock the door, and show me the feed, EDI," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Gods damn you!"_ Jane yelled at Shepard.

"At once, Shepard," EDI responded.

Shepard turned to watch EDI's screen as the elevator slid open. Garrus stood motionless, his eyes locked on her door. When the elevator door started to slide closed again he put a hand out to hold the doors open. Shepard could hear the deep breath he took before he stepped off the elevator and let the doors slide closed behind him. Shepard raked a hand through her hair before reaching out towards the door's control system. Her hand hesitated when Garrus took a couple of steps forward. Shepard bit her lip and hit the door's controls.

The door slid open and Garrus looked startled for the briefest of moments. Shepard chewed on her bottom lip from the doorway. Neither of them spoke. Shepard didn't have any idea what to say; afraid that anything she did say would be the wrong thing. Garrus didn't try to form an explanation; he just stood there staring at her with his mandibles fluttering lightly. He tapped a finger against his thigh before dropping his head to look at his feet. Slowly he turned back towards the elevator. Shepard bit into her lip hard enough that she tasted blood; she hissed quietly in response to the deeper pain of the rejection she was feeling. Garrus' head shot up and he sniffed the air around him before turning back to her. The iris of his visor contracted, as his eyes studied the smear of red on her lower lip. Shepard's tongue darted out to wipe the blood away and that was when Garrus' resolve shattered.

Her heart slammed in her chest when his posture shifted from pensive to predatory. Heat rushed through her when he slowly stalked towards her. Suddenly he was in front of her wrapping greedy hands around her waist and pulling her against him. His mouth was pressing into hers and her trembling hands were fighting to pull him closer still. A growl ripped through his throat as he reached his hands around her thighs and picked her up, wrapping her legs around him. Shepard groaned at the feel of his armor pressed against her bare flesh. Jane floundered before retreating to the furthest recess of Shepard's mind.

"Shepard do you require assistance?" EDI asked.

"Gods no. Privacy, EDI. We require privacy," Shepard said barely able to get the words out as Garrus' mouth sought to reclaim hers.

"As you wish. Logging you out, Shepard," EDI said and her hologram disappeared.

Garrus pulled his head away from Shepard long enough to glance around the room and determine where the bed was. He carried her down the steps while her fingers moved with their own memory to the clasps on his armor. Whimpering when she realized she couldn't get it off of him while he was holding her. Garrus let her slide to her feet at the foot of the bed and she pushed the breastplate off of him, mindful to show it the respect he would, she started to move to the table to set it down carefully. Garrus growled and pulled her back, taking the armor from her and tossing it towards the couch. Shepard gasped in shock but it was soon forgotten when his tongue demanded entrance to her mouth. She wrapped her arms around his neck while he struggled to pull the gloves from his hands and touch her everywhere at once.

With his talons free, Garrus threaded the fingers of one of his hands through her hair and pulled her head back, exposing her throat to him. Razor sharp teeth raked across her flesh while his tongue tasted her skin; his body trembled as he drew in deep breaths, pulling her scent into him like a man half crazed with starvation. His free hand moved over her body, shoving aside her robe to cup her breasts and squeeze at her waist. His other hand dropped from her hair and together they worked at the knot in the belt of her robe before growling and shredding through the delicate fabric with talons instead.

Shepard struggled to reach the clasps that kept his lower half hidden from her touch. Garrus took care of the problem for her, pulling the rest of his armor off and letting it fall to the floor. She pulled at the skin tight fabric of his shirt, wanting so desperately to feel his bare chest pressed against hers. Garrus wouldn't give her the space to pull the shirt off of him so she shoved it up instead and pressed herself against him. A heavy sigh escaped her lips on contact and a hum of deep approval passed through Garrus and into her in waves. Her hands explored his waist and back, fingertips digging into his plating.

"Garrus," Shepard said in a throaty whisper.

He dug his talons into her ass making her gasp.

"Garrus… please," Shepard said, her voice breaking in desperation.

Garrus pushed the robe the rest of the way off of Shepard, letting it puddle around her feet before tearing himself away from her long enough to pull his shirt up over his head, guiding it around his crest before dropping it to the ground and doing the same with his pants. Shepard reached out for him but he shoved her back onto the bed before crawling over her. He stopped, poised above her and stared down into her face.

Shepard couldn't make out the details of his features in the dark, but she could feel the hesitancy in his gaze. She was beyond the point of no return; she couldn't bare it if he changed his mind. Shepard wrapped her thigs around his hips and used her ankles to pull him towards her while lifting herself up to rub against him. Garrus growled and thrust forward until he was deep inside of her; he let Shepard pull him down to her so his chest was pressed against hers. He was not gentle with her. She was not gentle with him.


	30. Chapter 7: Attention!

**A/N:** More smutty stuff happens. Fair warning.

Chapter 7: Attention!

Morning came far too soon. The blare of Shepard's alarm clock ripped both Shepard and Garrus out of a peaceful sleep. Shepard slapped her hand on the clock, silencing it even as she knocked it from the table sending it crashing to the floor. The momentary annoyance was whisked away by the reminder that Garrus was in her bed next to her once more. Shepard slowly rolled over and tucked her arm beneath her head to watch the man she loved. The man who's heart she had broken; breaking her own in turn.

Garrus stared up at the ceiling; Shepard could almost see the gears turning over and over in his head filling him with doubt and regret. She reached a tentative hand out to rest on his chest and his eyes fluttered closed in response. Garrus took a deep, shuddering breath. She could feel the war waging inside of him. She steeled herself for the worst, trying to find peace in the fact that at least there _was_ a war. There was a fight. A part of him was fighting for her.

"I'm not the same person anymore, Shepard," Garrus said.

Hearing him call her Shepard and not Dawn when they were alone and in such an intimate position stung. She swallowed against the knot in her throat and licked her lips.

"I know," she whispered. "I'm not the same, either."

"Aren't you, though?" Garrus said opening his eyes to look at the ceiling again.

"No. I may not have been awake for those years, but I've had to suffer consequences because of them. Knowing what my actions did to the people I love… how could I be the same?" Shepard asked.

"I'm not the person you loved. Not anymore," he said.

"And yet I still love you," Shepard whispered. "I still need you."

Garrus remained quiet, his eyes glued to the ceiling.

"Please don't shut me out, Garrus," Shepard said.

"You're going to leave me again – die again," Garrus said turning his head against the pillows to look at her.

Shepard pulled her hand away from his chest and tucked it in against her own. She chewed on her lower lip.

"I don't want to," she said.

Garrus searched her eyes intently before he finally said, "Hmmm. Tell me again."

"Tell you what?" Shepard's throat ached with restrained sobs as she spoke.

"That you love me," Garrus said.

Tears began to well up in Shepard's eyes but she didn't dare turn them away from his.

"I love you, Garrus. I've always loved you. I will always love you," Shepard said.

Suddenly Garrus was on top of Shepard rolling her to her back, pressing his mouth against hers. His hands cupped her face, his thumbs brushing away her tears. He pulled his mouth from hers leaving her gasping for breath and pressed his forehead into hers.

"Sprits, woman. I love you, too. I hate what you've done to me. What you'll do to me again. But I can't walk away from you, not even to save my own carapace," Garrus said.

Shepard stroked her fingers along the edge of his mandible and closed her eyes.

"Do you regret meeting me?" she asked.

Garrus mulled the question over before finally answering, "There were days when you were gone that I began to regret putting myself in a position to feel so… devastated. But then I'd remember everything about you that made it even possible for me to feel such a loss… and then I just felt that. Drowned in it and felt devastated all over again."

"I'm sorry," she said.

Garrus nuzzled his face against her neck and mumbled, "I know."

"Tell me again?" Shepard whispered.

Garrus moved his mouth next to her ear and said, "I love you, Dawn."

He rubbed his face against her neck, planting light kisses along her collar bone and said, "I've always loved you."

Garrus pressed his forehead back into hers and said, "I will always love you."

Shepard warm smile slipped into a mischievous grin. Garrus pulled back slightly to narrow his eyes at her.

"You think maybe you can show me some more of that love?" she said sliding a leg up to wrap an ankle around the back of his thigh.

"Hmmm. I think I can probably manage that," Garrus said before kissing and nipping his way down her down her body to disappear beneath the blanket.

Three hours later, Garrus and Shepard stepped off the elevator together and entered the mess hall. Kasumi was sitting on the counter in front of Gardner eating fruit from a serving tray. Tali and Kal were sitting at a table doing absolutely nothing. Shepard got the distinct impression that they had been waiting for her. Jack sat backwards on a bench, her legs spread apart and her arms draped over the back of the table taking up as much space as her small frame could possibly claim. Grundan Krul sat across from her drinking a cup of coffee. All eyes turned to watch them.

"'Bout fucking time," Jack said.

Kasumi made an 'awww' sound and popped a strawberry into her mouth, chewing it with a silly smile plastered on her face. Gardner winked at Shepard. The intercom came on and Shepard could hear a slow clap coming over the mic. She rolled her eyes. Tali squirmed in her seat.

"Alright, alright," Shepard said. "Kasumi get your ass off the counter, food goes there."

Kasumi giggled and hopped down. She popped another strawberry in her mouth before activating her tactical cloak and disappearing from sight.

"Jack, you've managed to crawl out of your hole? I'm impressed," Shepard said.

"Got tired of waiting around for you to finish getting laid and dock this damn ship," Jack said.

"Uhhh, Shepard doesn't dock the ship. I do," Joker said over the comm.

"Yeah, and you don't wipe your ass unless she tells you to so what's your point?" Jack said.

Garrus chuckled and Shepard caught the faintest hint of a smile cross Grundan Krul's lips.

"You're… you're just _mean_ ," Joker said.

Jack smirked, "That the best you got?"

"I – I," Joker started.

"Figures," Jack said.

"I'll be damned. Someone who can shut him up. You're right Shepard, she was worth getting shot at," Garrus said.

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Hey Garrus, how's that stick up your ass? Do you and Shepard like –," Joker started to say.

"Joker!" Shepard warned.

"Alright, alright. Ready to dock whenever you want," Joker said cutting the comm.

Jack stood up from the bench, "Let's go. I want to go find some trouble."

"Let me eat something first," Shepard said with a smile. "Why don't you go keep Joker company. Tell him I sent you?"

"Why would I do that?" Jack asked with a raised brow.

"Because you get under his skin and it amuses me. I'll buy you something nice on the Citadel," Shepard said.

Jack smirked and said, "Just give me the credits and we'll call it good."

"Deal," Shepard said.

Jack left the mess hall while Shepard and Garrus settled down to have their breakfast under Tali's watchful eye. Normally it would make her uncomfortable but she was too busy stealing glances at Garrus to care and being delighted to see that he was doing the same. When finally they finished eating and were headed towards the elevator Kal engaged Garrus in conversation while Tali dragged Shepard aside.

"Ambush," Shepard muttered.

"Well?" Tali demanded.

"Well what?" Shepard asked and laughed.

"You know… did you two… did you work things out?" Tali asked.

Shepard grinned and said, "It's going to take more than one night to work things out, Tali… but yeah, we're working on it."

Tali squealed and bounced on her feet, clapping her hands together before throwing herself on Shepard. Shepard laughed and patted her friend on the back.

"What about you and Kal?" Shepard asked.

"Me and Kal?" Tali asked pulling away.

"Yeah. Have you thought about it?" Shepard asked.

Tali glanced over her shoulder at Kal before saying, "I don't know. Maybe. Yes. But things are complicated. I don't even know if he sees me the same way and there is so much going on right now…"

"I don't know, Tali. I think there's something there," Shepard said.

"You do?" Tali asked sounding hopeful.

"I do," Shepard said putting her hand on Tali's shoulder and guiding her back to the others.

Half the ship was waiting for the chance to roam the Citadel so they had to wait for the elevator longer than usual. Shepard finally got up to the CIC and made her way to the cockpit. Jack glanced at Shepard from where she sat sideways in the co-pilot's chair leaning forward with her elbows on her knees. Shepard grinned and Jack winked at her. She put her hand down on Joker's shoulder and he shrugged it off.

"Awwww. What's the matter, Joker? I thought you were going to win this?" Shepard said.

"It isn't over yet, Commander," Joker said.

Shepard wrapped her arms around Joker's neck from behind and planted a kiss on his bearded cheek.

He made a sound of disgust and wiped his cheek before saying, "Gross. I don't know where that mouth has been."

"Everywhere even your perverted little mind can imagine," Shepard said.

Jack laughed. Joker flipped the comm switch.

"Kelly! Shepard just kissed me. I thought you were going to talk to her about her inappropriate advances?" Joker said into the comm.

"Mr. Moreau, I think it's important that you tell Commander Shepard how it makes you feel when she does that," Kelly responded over the comm.

"Yeah, Joker, how does it make you _feel_ when she does that?" Jack asked.

"I hate all three of you," Joker said.

Shepard was a little relieved to hear Kelly's laughter join Jack's and her own. She had figured that the yeoman would catch on to Shepard's ploy, using her to get to Joker and she was glad she didn't seem offended.

"Oh, but I _love_ you, Joker. Now come on, dock your baby and come see Anderson with me?" Shepard asked.

"Do I have to?" Joker asked.

"No, but I'm sure he'd be happy to see you and it would be nice if you got off this ship once in a while," Shepard said.

"Yeah… the Citadel is just so crowded, and loud. And big. I prefer the nice confines of the Normandy," Joker said.

"Alright. Well, I'll see if I can convince him to come pay you a visit then. Sound good?" Shepard asked.

Joker turned in his seat to look up at her before asking, "You think he will? I mean, Cerberus vessel and all?"

"Sure, I think he will. Since the Council reinstated my Spectre status it wouldn't be so frowned upon," Shepard said.

"Yeah. OK, that'd be nice," Joker said turning back to the controls.

Shepard gently put a hand back on Joker's shoulder and he let it stay there as he hailed Citadel control and got permission to dock. She watched as he brought the ship in to the arms of the Citadel and eased it into the dock. Shepard gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze and turned back towards the airlock. Jack stood and followed her out.

"Later, Flight Lieutenant Moreau," Jack said over her shoulder.

"Yeah. Later," Joker said.

Shepard and Garrus made their way straight for Anderson's office while everyone else slowly filtered off the ship going their separate ways. Anderson must have been notified when they docked because he and Hackett were waiting for her when she arrived. She knew she wasn't Alliance anymore, but some habits are exceptionally hard to break. Shepard snapped a salute when she approached Hackett and smiled when he returned the salute without pause or question. She shook his hand when he offered it to her and he put a hand on her shoulder to guide her into the room.

"Commander Shepard, good to see you. We've got a lot to talk about," Hackett said before turning to Garrus. "And Mr. Vakarian, my reports said you were a part of the SSV Normandy's crew and were on the Citadel when Sovereign attacked."

"Yes, sir," Garrus said.

"Glad to have you," Hackett said shaking Garrus' hand.

"Thank you, sir," Garrus said.

Once everyone was inside of Anderson's office, he pressed a button on his console and told his secretary to hold his calls. Shepard slid into a chair in front of Anderson's desk when he sat down. When she realized Hackett had remained standing she stood back up until he waved her off and told her to sit.

"I'm afraid I can't stay long but I wanted the chance to speak with you in person," Hackett said. "I wanted to let you know that after the SSV Normandy went down I put a special team on Mars to search for the plans to the weapon you told us about."

"That's great, have they found anything?" Shepard asked hope taking hold of her.

"We found it, Commander," Hackett said.

 _"_ _What?! This… this shouldn't be happening yet,"_ Jane said.

"You did?" Shepard said rising to her feet.

"Yes ma'am," Hackett said. "We've had it for almost a year now. It took six months for our team to make heads or tails out of it but we've begun gathering the resources we need to build the Crucible. The plans call for something called the 'Catalyst' but it doesn't explain what the Catalyst is, Commander. I don't suppose you can shed any light on that?"

 _"_ _You can't tell him! They can't know yet, listen to me, if they find out then it could get passed to the reapers. We could lose this whole war before it even really gets started. Dawn, no! You can't tell them!"_ Jane demanded.

"I'm sorry, Admiral, but I must keep that information until the time comes to use the Crucible. I must insist that you do not even tell anyone that I know what the Catalyst is, as it could jeopardize the entire thing," Shepard said.

Jane was right. She hated pulling the Spectre authority card on anyone in the Alliance but for this she would. Hackett glanced towards Anderson and Anderson nodded his head.

"I see. I trust your judgement, Commander. If you say it needs to stay classified, it stays classified," Hackett said.

 _"_ _It's too big. It's going to be discovered before it's time. It'll be destroyed. They have to hide it, keep it safe,"_ Jane said.

"The Alliance will probably need assistance getting it built. I will see if I can drum up some aid. In the meantime, I urge you to keep the existence of the plans and your work on it classified," Shepard said. "There are others out there like Saren – working for the reapers and we may not know who they are until it's too late."

"Agreed, Commander," Hackett said. "I should be going. Damn good to see you, though, Shepard."

"You too, Admiral. One more thing before you go," Shepard said. "This Crucible… it's not an answer to the war, Admiral. It's our damn Hail Mary and we will absolutely not activate that damn thing unless all hope is completely lost. Because when we do – if we do, the destruction it leaves behind will be far worse than anything we could have imagined."

 _"_ _There isn't any other way. You know this. You've seen what we've lived through time and time again. What other way could their possibly be? Even with the galaxy untied, we weren't strong enough to take them down without the Crucible,"_ Jane said.

Shepard stayed firm when she saw the light fade from Hackett's eyes and the smile slip away from his face.

"I see. That's unfortunate. Still, I suppose it's best to have the ace up our sleeve. Thank you, Commander," Hackett said before turning to leave.

Shepard watched him go before she sank back in her chair and hid her face in her hands, her elbows resting on her knees. She could feel Jane fretting in the back of her mind.

"What's a 'Hail Mary'?" Garrus asked.

"In the way that Shepard is using it, it basically means a last ditch effort made out of desperation. As she said, when all hope is lost," Anderson said.

"Hmmm. Thanks," Garrus said.

"Sure. So, Shepard, I have information for you on Operations Chief James Vega," Anderson said.

 _"_ _Operations Chief… it hasn't happened yet,"_ Jane said.

"What hasn't happened yet, Jane?" Shepard thought.

Jane grew quiet, whispering to herself in the back of Shepard's mind where it was hard for Shepard to understand. She resisted Shepard's attempts to pry and Shepard frowned.

"What have you got, sir?" Shepard asked.

"He's stationed in the Terminus Systems on Fehl Prime. I've got his non-classified records if you want to take a look," Anderson said pulling a datapad from his desk.

"Fehl Prime… makes sense," Shepard said taking the datapad from Anderson.

"How so?" Anderson asked.

"Fehl Prime kept standing out to me when I was looking at the human colonies in the Terminus Systems but I couldn't figure out why and Jane's been fighting me left and right on this one," Shepard said.

Anderson leaned forward, putting his elbows on his desk and making a steeple of his fingers in front of him.

"Shepard, Jane is you, right? I mean, at her core?" Anderson asked.

Shepard looked up from the datapad and nodded her head. Anderson stood to his feet and locked his eyes on Shepard.

"Attention!" Anderson barked.

Shepard jumped to her feet and stood at attention without thought, her eyes wide in confusion.

"Commander Jane Shepard, you will stop fighting against Commander Dawn Shepard's attempts to gain intel from you. You will provide Commander Dawn Shepard with whatever information she asks of you without complaint. That is an order, solider!" Anderson barked.

"Yes, sir!" Shepard said, her hand going to her head in salute as her will completely crumbled under the overwhelming compulsion coming from Jane and _all_ of the others to respond to her commanding officer's order – to _Anderson's_ order.

Shepard's face turned bright red.

"At ease, solider," Anderson said settling back into his chair with a satisfied grin.

Shepard brought her hand to her mouth in shock and awe. She slowly felt the heat of her blush ease out of her face and she gripped the back of the chair.

"Son-of-a-bitch… well, I'll be damned," Shepard said.

Garrus was watching her with raised brow plates and a look of fascination when he asked, "Did that actually work?"

"I… I think it did," Shepard said.

Shepard tilted her head to the side listening to Jane before telling Anderson, "She requests permission to voice her tactical opinions for consideration when the need arises."

"Granted," Anderson said. "Now tell us what you know about Vega and Fehl Prime."

Shepard sat back down in the chair as memories of conversations with James Vega began to flood her mind. She saw herself sparing with James aboard the retrofitted Normandy. He was angry and maybe swinging at her a little harder than was necessary. He was telling her about how he lost his CO and his team on Fehl Prime to a collector attack, he was faced with choosing between trying to save them or save the intel they had gathered on the collectors or save his people. Information that he believed could have been used to defeat the collectors. He chose the intel. He was angry with Shepard because the intel wasn't even needed; Shepard dealt with the collectors. In his mind, he let his team die for no reason.

"Shit," Shepard said. "Fehl Prime is going to be attacked by the collectors."

"When, Jane?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I don't know exactly. Sometime this year, while we're fighting the collectors. We never met him until we were arrested; Anderson has him placed as our guard. He didn't tell us about this until after we were reinstated when the reapers hit Earth. If he hasn't been promoted to Lieutenant yet then it probably hasn't happened,"_ Jane said.

"She doesn't know when exactly, they never discussed it in that much detail. She said that if he hasn't been promoted to Lieutenant then it hasn't happened yet. I guess normally I wouldn't meet him until I've been arrested; you place him as my guard and then he stays on with me once I'm reinstated," Shepard said.

Shepard listened to Jane for long minutes, her head tilted to the side and her eyes unfocused as she took in the details of memories and Jane's words.

"We need to get to Fehl Prime. If there is intel there – if there will be intel there, we need it. The other times we were able to collect information from a quarian named Veetor who was on his Pilgrimage when the attacks hit Freedom's Progress. He wasn't there this time. I don't know why, something I did differently before the crash," Shepard said. "I've got a salarian scientist, Mordin Solus, on my team and I know that he can create a vaccine – it works like a… a cloak, hiding us from the seeker swarms but without Veetor's data… wait there was something else… Mordin had a live seeker. Where, where did it come from?"

 _"_ _The Illusive Man has other agents working to gather intel on the collectors. Whatever they find gets sent to us,"_ Jane said.

"Shepard you can't go to Fehl Prime. If what you're saying is accurate, you won't be protected from the seekers until Mordin develops that vaccine. The seekers have only gone after humans, though. You need to send someone else, someone not human to Fehl Prime," Garrus said.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose and leaned back in the chair.

"Kirrahe," Shepard whispered.

 _"_ _Yes, that could work. Maybe it won't alter too much for James but still get us what we need,"_ Jane said.

"Got something, Commander?" Anderson asked.

"Anderson, what's Councilor Valern's current stance on all of this? Is he still working with you to help sway the others?" Shepard asked.

"He's moved to more subversive tactics, preparing the salarians as he can while staying within political bounds," Anderson said.

"The Council won't send in troops to the Terminus Systems, but what if a small group of STG volunteered to go to one planet in particular? Would Valern stop them?" Shepard asked.

"I can talk to him. I take it you have someone in mind?" Anderson asked.

"Major Kirrahe, the salarian I told you about last time. He and his men have been incredibly supportive. Solus and Kirrahe actually know each other, so that helps as well," Shepard said. "I can have Mordin contact Kirrahe, tell him what kinds of things he should be looking for and see if Kirrahe and his men are willing to spend some time on Fehl Prime. You'd need to give Captain Toni a good reason why they're there."

"Alright, talk to your contact and see if he agrees. Let me know and I'll deal with Valern," Anderson said.

"Sir, I believe Horizon will be hit as well. That might change with both Williams and Alenko gone but I'm not so sure. The ship that attacked the Normandy hit Horizon in the past, Williams or Alenko were always stationed there when it happened," Shepard said. "It was a deliberate attempt to draw her out – by hitting a place with one of ours. The simple fact is that every human colony in the Terminus Systems is a potential target."

"I know where the collectors are; they are through the Omega 4 relay. I will need to acquire a reaper IFF in order to pass through the Omega 4 relay and hit the collector's home world," Shepard said. "There are a lot of upgrades that need to be made to the ship, otherwise… I've seen some of Jane's memories where all of the upgrades weren't made and the ship barely made it through the relay. Crew lives were lost. I know I can't weigh our lives against the lives of thousands of colonists, though, so as soon as we can we'll strike."

 _"_ _No, please. The upgrades don't really take that long. You just have to gather resources every chance you get. Please don't rush this; don't let any of them die if you don't have to,"_ Jane said.

"I'll do what I can, Jane. I don't want to see anyone die either, but sometimes in war sacrifices have to be made. You know that. If it's a matter of making sure that this shit ends once and for all or saving a handful of people we're attached to… I'm going to make the call that has to be made," Shepard thought.

"In the meantime, we need to find a way to stop the reapers from invading through the Alpha Relay in the Bahak System that doesn't involve destroying the relay. Thoughts?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _If nothing else, at least there is time to evacuate,"_ Jane said.

Anderson stood and paced in front of his desk before glancing at Garrus.

"The First Contact War began because we were trying to open a relay the Council deactivated. It is technically possible to deactivate the relay in the Bahak System, but it would likely incite war with the batarians. The Viper Nebula is within Earth Alliance Space so it may be possible to convince the rest of the Council… if they can be convinced of the necessity to begin with," Anderson said.

"Unless you have a way to make it permanent, it won't matter. The reapers will just reactivate it from their side, right? At least we have to assume that they can." Shepard asked. "That relay links everywhere."

"What would happen if it were destroyed while deactivated?" Anderson asked.

"When a relay is dormant, the mass effect field it produces tapers off to near nothing. You can still expect a pretty spectacular explosion, but it would be incomparable to the amount of energy released if the relay was active," Garrus offered.

"We have more warning this time, maybe we can attempt to evacuate the system as well," Shepard said. "There's something else you should know. Jane was first sent there, first learned about this, because Hackett asked her to go rescue a deep cover agent named Dr. Amanda Kenson. She was discovered and arrested by the batarians. Sir, Kenson is indoctrinated – or will be. It was her intention when Jane got her back to her facility to allow the reapers to come through. She had discovered a reaper artifact and while studying it received visions of the reapers' approach, unfortunately the time she and her team spent around the artifact opened the door to indoctrination. Jane had to kill her and a large portion of her team before setting the project back in motion to destroy the relay and steal a shuttle to escape. The rest would have died in the explosion."

Anderson sat back at his desk and wrote Kenson's name down on a datapad.

"I'll see what I can find out about Kenson and her team, and I'll try to convince the Council to consider taking actions to deactivate the Alpha Relay," Anderson said.

"I don't think that's an official name for it, sir. Jane said that Kenson and her team named it the Alpha Relay because they determined it to be the oldest relay and it has the unique ability to link to all other locations. I'm not certain of its exact coordinates, only that the asteroid she has her facility on is the one that will be used to destroy the relay," Shepard said.

"I'll see what I can find out, Shepard," Anderson said.

"Thank you Anderson. I'll swing back by as soon as I can to check base with you. In the meantime, let me know what you can, what's safe to disclose in messages," Shepard said standing.

Anderson walked around his desk and pulled Shepard into a warm embrace, patting her on the back.

"You're not alone in this, kid. Don't forget that. Even when it seems like the Council and half the galaxy is fighting against you… you're not alone in this," Anderson said.

"Thanks, Anderson. Hey, how about when I'm headed back to the ship you come check the new Normandy out and say hello to Joker. I couldn't convince him to leave the Normandy, but he would really like to see you. Dr. Chakwas, too. I figured with my Spectre status reinstated, it wouldn't be an issue if a councilor wanted to check out the ship, right?" Shepard said.

"That sounds like a fine idea, Shepard. Let me know when you're headed back," Anderson said.

Shepard smiled and nodded her head. Garrus stood to join Shepard and shook Anderson's hand before they turned to leave his office.

"Oh, Shepard. I almost forgot. Your quarian friend came in this morning, said you told her to come to me if she was in trouble. Lia she said her name was. She was assaulted by a couple of drunk teenagers last night. They tried to pull her mask off and ripped up her suit pretty good. God, the poor thing fought them off on her own and instead of going to the hospital she waited and came stumbling into my office," Anderson said.

"Oh my gods, where is she? Is she OK?" Shepard demanded.

"Yeah, she's alright. I've got her set up at the Huerta Memorial Hospital while she recovers. She panicked when I told her I was taking her to the hospital, said she couldn't afford it. Ha! Girl was sick as can be and was worried about paying bills. I told her she didn't need to worry about it, I've got it covered. I made sure they were giving her the best care before I left. Being a member of the Council has some benefits," Anderson said with a shrug.

"Thanks Anderson. Send me the bills, I'll pay them. Well, make Cerberus pay them," Shepard said with a smirk.

"Nah, I got this one, Shepard. Let me do a good deed," Anderson said.

Shepard smiled and said, "OK, Anderson. You got this one. Thank you."

"Of course, Shepard," Anderson said.

Shepard called Tali on her omni-tool on her way out the door. The quarian's face popped up on the screen.

"Hey, Shepard. What's up?" Tali asked.

"Tali, Anderson just informed me that Lia was assaulted last night. She's at Huerta Memorial Hospital. I can't get there right now; I have a lot of things I've got to handle. Can you and Kal go see her, make sure she's recovering? Let her know that I'll be there as soon as I can. It might be a few hours, though," Shepard said.

"Keelah. We'll go right away," Tali said.

"Thanks, Tali," Shepard said.

Tali nodded her head before cutting the call.

"I'm going to check in with a few of my contacts. Do you have a set time for us to meet back at the Normandy?" Garrus asked.

Shepard stopped in the hall outside of Anderson's office and chewed on her lip in thought.

"No, I'll need several hours here at least. Before you go, the thing with Miranda…," Shepard scratched at a scar on her cheek before continuing, "While I was out… Jane uh, Jane talked. Through me, I mean. Using my voice. Miranda has recordings of it…," Shepard said.

Garrus took a step closer, narrowing the distance between himself and Shepard. His eyes locked on to hers.

"You're serious? What does she know?" Garrus asked.

"I don't know all of it yet. I think I convinced her that it was a side effect of the beacon. I convinced her to give me a copy of the videos on an OSD. I didn't want to watch them on the ship. She wanted to tell the Illusive Man but I've convinced her not to, at least for now," Shepard said.

 _"_ _I still think it's safest to kill her,"_ Jane said.

"Even after that speech about not letting them die if I didn't have to?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _This is different,"_ Jane said.

"Only because you were awake for what happened this time," Shepard thought.

"How can you be sure she won't tell the Illusive Man?" Garrus asked pulling Shepard back to the conversation at hand.

Shepard shrugged and said, "I can't be. Not completely. I warned her though that if she did, I'd walk. I told her there's no way in hell I'm letting myself end up back on a Cerberus slab while they run experiments to figure out how it works."

"Why didn't she already tell him?" Garrus asked.

"Because in one of the videos Jane mentioned her sister, Oriana Lawson. She's the one person that Miranda loves more than herself. She needed to know how I knew, and what I knew about Oriana before anyone else found out," Shepard explained. "The only other person that heard Jane was shot in the head by Miranda. I watched it happen. I think she was more than delighted when he gave her an excusable reason to do so. The man was working for the Shadow Broker, he was trying to kill me before the Lazarus Project was complete."

"Then we have to assume that the Shadow Broker has copies of those videos," Garrus said. "Which could also explain why he still wants to get his hands on you so bad."

 _"_ _He's right,"_ Jane said.

Shepard bit her lip and shook her head.

"I hadn't thought about it, you're probably right. Damn it. Damn it," Shepard said. "I need to get to a computer without any connection to the extranet. Something I don't have to worry about causing problems in case there's a virus or anything on the drive. I want to spend some time watching these videos before I leave the Citadel. I need to know exactly what's on them."

"You have it with you? Now?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah, it hasn't left my person. I even lock it in the bathroom with me when I shower. Well, I guess it wasn't exactly on me last night…," Shepard said.

"Hmmm," Garrus said a smile tugging at his mouth. "My contacts can wait. I want to see these videos."

Shepard's eyes widened and she started to shake her head, saying, "Garrus… no, I – I was in pretty bad shape… I don't think you want to see that. I mean, it's hard to look at and we're only just now… I don't think it's a good idea."

 _"_ _No. Oh gods no! You can't let him see that!"_ Jane said.

"Shepard, I know exactly what you looked like before they put you on that slab. Who do you think delivered you to them?" Garrus asked ice creeping back in over his eyes.

Jane's shock echoed her own. Shepard felt light-headed; she put a hand out to brace herself against the wall. The other hand came to cover her gaping mouth.

"Garrus… I didn't know… I'm – gods I'm so sorry," Shepard said.

"I don't need to hear anymore apologies, Shepard," Garrus said shaking his head. "I did what had to be done. Liara was gone so I made sure you got where you needed to be. I want to see the videos."

Shepard slowly nodded before speaking, "Alright. If you're sure."

Garrus snapped his mandibles tight against his jaw and stared at her, nodding only once. Together they made their way to the wards and bought a cheap laptop. Garrus took her to some cheap rooms for rent where they wouldn't be bothered. He took the laptop apart and removed the extranet card, disabling its ability to connect to the extranet before putting it back together again. Shepard ditched her armor, wanting to be comfortable for the long hours she anticipated they would be spending sitting on that couch watching her own personal torture videos. She would never understand how Garrus stood to wear his armor around the clock. Shepard used the application given to her by Anderson to check the room for bugs, just as an added precaution.

"So do I get a copy of that?" Garrus asked as he watched her.

"Only if I get a copy of your noise cancellation program," Shepard said with a grin.

"Deal," Garrus said.

Shepard chuckled and closed the program content that there were no covert listening devices in the area. She and Garrus shared the programs to each other's omni-tools before settling in on a beat up couch across from a coffee table. Garrus opened the laptop and Shepard handed him the OSD. Her nerves rattled around inside of her as Garrus plugged the drive in and accessed the first video. Shepard took several deep breaths trying to steel herself for what was to come.

 _"_ _I… I don't think I'm ready to watch these, Dawn,"_ Jane said her panic welling up inside of Shepard.

The video began playing and she saw herself lying on the Cerberus slab. She was in even worse condition than she was in the video Miranda had shown her before. Most of her hair was completely gone; every inch of exposed flesh was charred, burnt to a black crisp. Her chest was cut open, metal forceps holding her ribcage apart. And she was screaming. A low hiss; more of a screeching as what little air her lungs could pull in was being shoved back out across her seared vocal chords. Her mouth was barely even open; nothing else on her moved except the slowly beating heart in her chest.

 _"_ _I felt that, I could feel them cutting us open, sawing through our ribs. Gods it hurt. We've never felt anything like that ever before. Then the drilling and the scraping. Do we really have to watch this?"_ Jane asked.

"Yes," Shepard thought.

Wilson and Miranda ran around checking machinery, gauging readings. Miranda ordered Wilson to give her anesthesia. Wilson rambled on about how Shepard shouldn't even be able to feel anything at all, there was no ways she could be even remotely conscious yet. Miranda argued with him that clearly she somehow was, telling him there was no point in debating what should be when there was a mostly dead screaming woman on their table with her chest cut open and her heart exposed. Wilson saw reason and attempted to insert an IV. He couldn't get it through the thick, burnt skin and into a vein on his first several attempts. When he did get it into a vein, he found that the fluids weren't being pushed through her system enough yet by the recently restarted, weakly pumping heart to do their job. Miranda shoved him out of the way and put a gas mask over Shepard's nose and mouth. A few seconds later, Shepard's screams stopped and she lay inert.

The video went dark for a few seconds before Miranda's face appeared. She spoke directly into the camera giving a summary of Shepard's current state and the oddity of the event they experienced when her heart was restarted. The video came to an end and Garrus let it sit there for a long minute, as they both stared at the screen in silence. Slowly he reached his hand out and closed that video before opening the next.

Shepard looked marginally better in this video, though still unrecognizable to herself as even human let alone the woman she saw when she looked in the mirror. Her chest was opened again and she could see tubes threaded throughout her chest cavity. Glowing pieces of machinery were being screwed into the bones of her ribs and tubes connecting them ran to her heart. The heart beat steadier now, though still slower than one would expect. Suddenly, Shepard's chest expanded as if she had taken a deep breath. She started screaming again; still the rest of her remained motionless as her jaw shifted slightly. The scream was much stronger, much louder.

 _"_ _Oh gods. I – I can't watch this, please make it stop,"_ Jane said.

"Hold it together, Jane. I'm sorry. Just try to hold it together," Shepard thought.

Garrus reached over and turned down the volume on the laptop. Shepard rested her elbows on her knees and curled her fists up to rest her chin on her palms while covering her mouth.

"Spirits," Garrus whispered and Shepard closed her eyes.

The screaming continued for a solid minute before Miranda slipped the gas mask over Shepard's face again. Wilson grumbled about not being able to work under those conditions. Miranda resumed drilling into Shepard, placing metal implants along her ribs and connecting them to various areas within her chest cavity. Shepard's mouth began to move beneath the mask. Miranda caught sight of it and stopped her drilling. She turned the drill off and hesitantly reached for the mask, pulling it away from Shepard's burnt flesh.

"Oh gods it hurts…," Jane whimpered through Shepard mouth.

"Oh my God, she's talking. Wilson, quick sedate her. Hurry!" Miranda yelled.

Wilson could be heard rattling around equipment off camera before he arrived by Shepard's bed with a syringe. He slipped the syringe into the IV that someone had finally managed to get in place and Shepard's mouth slowly stopped moving. The video went black before resuming on Miranda's face as the last one had. Miranda seemed shaken as she made her log entry before cutting the feed.

 _"_ _No, no, please no more. I can't – I can't do this. I don't want to watch these. Please don't make me watch these,"_ Jane begged.

"I'm sorry, Jane. Really, I am so truly very sorry. I have to watch them though. We have to know what was said," Shepard thought.

Shepard ran her hands through her hair and glanced at Garrus. He had his eyes locked on the screen. His face was an emotionless mask, the same mask he had on more often than not since she found him again on Omega. She thought she might be starting to finally, truly understand why. Garrus moved to start the next video.

"Can we uh… can we try to skip through the unnecessary parts… Jane isn't taking this too well," Shepard said.

Garrus turned to look at her and for a moment it was like he didn't recognize her. Like he forgot she was even there. She could see it then, in his eyes; he was lost in his own personal hell. The glaze shifted from his eyes as he was brought back to the present and they softened ever so slightly. He nodded his head once and started the next video.

Shepard's rib cage was now closed and Miranda was attaching a cybernetic implant to her sternum. Wilson was finishing an IV injection and watching Shepard as her mouth moved under the mask.

"It doesn't seem to be working as well anymore. She's still talking. We shouldn't be doing this, Miranda. None of this… it isn't right. We're playing with stuff we don't understand here. I mean for the love of God, look at her! Listen to her! She's in agony. She shouldn't be feeling this not in her state, but somehow she is. This is torture. We should let the damn woman have her rest. She earned it," Wilson said.

"I'll be sure to pass on your concerns to the Illusive Man. I'm sure he'll take them into consideration," Miranda said the sarcasm heavy in her voice.

"God you are such a heartless bitch sometimes," Wilson said.

"You're done for the day, Wilson. Go. I can finish this myself," Miranda said.

"Fine by me," Wilson said pulling off his latex gloves and tossing them somewhere off camera.

After a few moments, with Wilson presumably gone, Miranda reached up and slid the mask from Shepard's face.

"The reapers are still coming. I have to stop them. Can't die now. Have to stop them. It hurts, oh gods it hurts," Jane said through Shepard's mouth.

"I'm sorry, Commander," Miranda said replacing the mask and resuming her drilling.

Garrus fast forwarded the video through several minutes of Miranda drilling in implants before putting a stasis field over Shepard's chest; leaving her splayed open until she returned to finish the work but preventing her from more exposure than necessary. When Miranda started to reach for the mask on Shepard's face again, Garrus resumed normal play.

 _"_ _I didn't even know. I didn't know they could hear me. I swear I didn't know,"_ Jane said.

"It's alright, Jane. I know you didn't and you couldn't help it, alright? You were doing what you had to do to keep yourself together the best you could under the circumstances," Shepard throught.

"… to find Garrus. Can't do any of this without him. Got to stop the collectors. Oh gods, I was dying again. Dying all over again. On fire, couldn't breathe. Left Kaidan to die on fire. Burned up in the blast. Have to cure the genophage to stop the war. Have to let Mordin die to cure the genophage," Jane rambled through Shepard's mouth.

Miranda left the video and returned with another syringe. She pushed the air bubbles from the syringe before inserting it into Shepard's IV.

"A little more won't hurt. Sleep, Commander," Miranda said.

The video went dark and Garrus stopped it before opening another.

Shepard was screaming at the top of her lungs. The sound was devastating. Garrus flinched away from the noise and adjusted the volume again. His mandibles snapped so hard against his face Shepard was afraid he'd break something. Her hair was clearly starting to regrow in this video. Her chest was closed once more, but her arm was sliced open. Withered muscle and burnt skin peeled back and held into place by metal clamps as Miranda reinforced Shepard's bones with a metallic weave.

Shepard could feel Jane scrambling around inside of her, tearing at the walls of her mind. Garrus fast forwarded the video, keeping his focus on Shepard's mouth. When her jaw relaxed and it looked like the screaming had stopped he started the video again. A few seconds later her mouth started to move again, this time forming words.

"Why are you doing this to me? Please stop, gods please stop. Please stop. It hurts. It hurts so bad, please. Please," Jane said through Shepard.

"Do you think she can hear us?" Wilson asked.

"No, her ear drums were completely ruptured. The damage from the fire alone would keep her from hearing. Until we do the grafts and put in the implants, she is completely deaf," Miranda said.

"That's a shame. It would be nice to at least try to be able to offer her some hope," Wilson said.

Jane mumbled incoherently for a few seconds before speaking aloud again, "The collectors are really just prothean husks. Everything that made them real people scooped out and replaced with reaper bits and pieces. Breaks Liara's heart when she finds out. 'Course it really crushes her when she meets Javik."

Tears started to well up in Shepard's eyes and she leaned over Garrus' legs to pause the video. He looked around startled. Shepard stood up and started pacing the room. Tears blurred her vision as she navigated the unfamiliar space. Her shin banged into the side of an armchair and she splayed out a hand to catch herself before she could fall. Her shin throbbed from the beating but it was a distant pain, only there in the back of her mind. Shepard let herself collapse into the chair and hid her face in the palms of her hands while she quietly sobbed.

Garrus crossed the room to crouch down in front of her. He laid a hand tentatively on her thigh. Jane quieted at his touch. Shepard pulled her hands away from her face so she could wrap her arms around Garrus' neck and bury her face in his chest. Garrus slid an arm around her waist and started to stand, encouraging her to stand with him. When she was on her feet he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him before turning her so he could sit in the chair and pulled her into his lap.

He held her while she sobbed without saying a word for long minutes. When she was starting to calm back down, Garrus finally spoke but it wasn't what she expected.

"Who's Javik?" Garrus asked.

Shepard raised her head to look at his face. She didn't see the concern, the compassion she had thought she would see there. Instead the cold mask stared back at her. Shepard wiped the tears from her face and climbed out of his lap.

"He's uh, he's a prothean, actually. He's in a stasis pod on Eden Prime," Shepard said brushing her hair out of her face.

"You're kidding?" Garrus asked.

Shepard sniffed, wiping the last of the wet streaks from her face and shook her head.

"He's nothing at all like – like Liara imagined the prothean's being. Then again, he's only one and can hardly be expected to be the ideal for all protheans any more than I can be considered to be representative of humanity, or you turians," Shepard said running her hands through her hair.

Garrus stood up and rubbed a hand up and down Shepard's arm before asking, "So what's he like?"

Shepard chuckled and said, "Arrogant. Militaristic. Aloof. An incredible biotic. He's not a bad guy; really, he just doesn't make it easy for anyone to get close enough to see that."

"Hmmm. You don't let people get away with that, I'm guessing Jane knew him better than the others?" Garrus asked.

Shepard could feel Jane's mood shifting, calming as Garrus distracted them both from the videos. Memories of Javik began to float to the surface. The short talks he had with her aboard the Normandy and the memory shard he kept safe and at a distance. Jane's memories split, showing her the divergent paths. When Javik, if pressed, decides to use the memory shard it causes him intense psychological pain. After that, he talks about ending his own life once the war is won. If he doesn't use the shard, he talks about what it will be like to know the galaxy in peace.

Shepard chuckled and said, "Yeah. Wasn't easy. Harder than getting through to Wrex."

"So, you good to finish those videos?" Garrus asked.

Shepard nodded and they returned to the couch. The next video was the one she had already seen part of. Jane spoke about Miranda, Oriana, and Wilson's betrayal. The only thing of real concern was Jane's mention of the Illusive Man's presence on the Crucible. At the end of the video Miranda's log showed a very disturbed woman who was fraught with fear for her sister's safety.

Miranda said, "I didn't realize until now the significance of the things the Commander has been saying. I had assumed that it was… just random gibberish, the nightmares of a distraught woman in pain. Clearly that isn't the case. And Wilson… the implications. I will have to find a way to keep him away from the Commander until I can find a way to get rid of him permanently. I can't allow him to jeopardize this project. I don't know how Commander Shepard knows these things, but I intend to find out. I can't let anyone see these. Not until I have answers. Whatever the cost."

They spent the next three hours watching videos of Shepard slowly being torn apart and pieced back together in all of its morbid glory. Garrus fast forwarded through large sections where Shepard lay silent on the table, only stopping when her mouth started to move. Wilson started appearing in fewer and fewer of the videos and Miranda became more and more engaged when Shepard spoke. Especially if it pertained to Miranda or her sister.

When the last video finally came to a stop, they spent some time discussing the potential ramifications of various bits of information should Miranda release that information to the Illusive Man. Together they decided that all information pertaining to the collectors, save the human-reaper that the collectors were making, would be safe to provide to the Illusive Man. In fact, it might make things easier in the long haul. If he reported that information back to her then Shepard could stop skirting around things she wasn't supposed to know yet. She didn't want the Illusive Man to know about the human-reaper because she knew that he had foreknowledge he would find a way to make sure it was saved. Shepard wouldn't allow that; that thing needed to be destroyed.

Jane had mentioned the Illusive Man being on the Crucible at the end. She didn't mention that he was indoctrinated, or trying to control the reapers. Shepard considered that information for a long time and decided that she would have to insist that Miranda did not share that detail. She didn't want the Illusive Man finding out about the Crucible any faster than he had in other lives. He was a very dangerous man, with far too many resources at his disposal to be trusted with such information. Especially since Shepard had hopes of never using the Crucible. She also wasn't sure if the Illusive Man was already indoctrinated, though she doubted it since he went out of his way to bring her back to life when the reapers so clearly wanted her dead. Still, at some point he did become indoctrinated which meant that if he knew about the construction of the Crucible so would the reapers.

There was absolutely no reason for the Illusive Man to learn any of the private details of any of her crew; past, present, or future. She certainly didn't want him to learn that Jacob would eventually leave Cerberus and be found on Gellix with a team of scientists who had defected from Cerberus. She didn't want him to know anything that indicated that she would eventually tell him to go screw himself and return to the Alliance, taking the Normandy with her.

 _"_ _How is she even going to tell him any of this without bringing up questions? He's going to find out. There's only one way around it, and that's to make sure none of this ever gets back to him. Period,"_ Jane said.

"What if she doesn't want to listen?" Garrus asked.

"I don't know, I'll have to find a way to convince her. That's all there is to it," Shepard said.

"And if you can't?" Garrus asked.

Shepard shrugged and shook her head.

"You might have to kill her, scrub her computer," Garrus said.

"That's what Jane wants, but I can't do that, Garrus. It's not her fault that this happened. Miranda isn't a bad person. She defects from Cerberus when I leave; she finally sees Cerberus and the Illusive Man for what they are. She helps us in the war," Shepard said.

"I can," Garrus said simply.

 _"_ _Let him do it, then,"_ Jane said.

Shepard turned to look at him and saw nothing but resolute seriousness in his cold eyes.

"I don't want it to come to that, Garrus," Shepard said.

The turian spread his mandibles before closing them again and nodded his head. He ejected the OSD and handed it back to Shepard before shutting the laptop down. Shepard tucked the OSD in her pocket and looked up to see Garrus watching her. She offered him a small smile and was rewarded with a softening of his eyes. He flicked his fingers, gesturing for her to come closer.

Shepard was happy to oblige scooting down the couch until she was sitting pressed against his side. She was delighted that she was able to touch him again; that he wanted her to touch him again. He draped an arm over her shoulders giving her the room to snuggle in closer.

"Will you tell me about it?" Shepard asked quietly.

"Tell you about what?" he asked.

"Finding me. Getting me to Cerberus. The last two years," Shepard said.

Garrus was quiet for a long time until Shepard tilted her head up to look at him. His eyes were unfocused, haunted as they looked back on the past. Shepard hesitantly reached out to slide a finger under his chin and gave it a little tug. He didn't resist, allowing her to turn his head until his eyes met hers. She bit back the apology that wanted to force itself through her lips knowing he didn't want to hear it again.

"Another time, maybe?" Shepard asked.

Garrus swallowed and nodded. Shepard ran her thumb over his mouth and something in his eyes changed. She didn't see a nightmare reflected in them anymore but overwhelming need. Garrus moved with a speed she wasn't sure she'd ever get used to. He pressed his mouth to hers hungry and demanding, pushing her back on the couch. His urgency startled Shepard but she let herself be pulled and pushed to lie on the couch where he wanted her. Garrus pulled away from breathing in her scent like and addict scrambling for his fix long enough to rip his gloves off of his hands and free his torso from his armor.

He pressed against her again, his teeth scraping at her neck while his hands pulled and pushed at her shirt putting small tears in the fabric with his rush to feel her skin. Shepard gasped when a talon scraped across her stomach enough to draw small pinheads of blood.

"Garrus, slow down," Shepard said.

The turian growled at her in response, shoving her shirt up and running his tongue along the scratch, lapping up the tiny droplets. It sent shivers down her spine. She reached for his head, grasping it between her palms careful to avoid putting pressure in the wrong areas she pulled his head up to look at her. He looked lost and desperate. There was really no other words she could find to describe the wild look in his eyes.

"Garrus, I'm not going anywhere. Slow down. OK?" Shepard said.

He wrenched his head free from her grip and dropped it to her chest, resting his forehead on her sternum. A low keening started to rise up in his throat before he choked the sound off and pushed it away with a shake of his head. Shepard slid her hand to rest beneath his crest, letting her thumb gently caress the ridge of plating and more sensitive exposed skin that covered the back of his skull. The keening started to rise up in him again, ripping its way through Shepard's heart. It took him a little longer this time, but he fought it back once more. She could feel his jaw flex against her arm as he clenched his teeth and pulled his mandibles in as tight as he could.

He took in a slow, deep breath before sliding a hand along Shepard's waist and ribs forcing himself to move slowly and carefully. He started to pull his head away from her chest and Shepard let her hand slide away from his head to glide her fingertips along the edge of his jaw and mandible as he moved to taste her flesh.

"Sit up," Shepard said nudging his shoulder.

He looked at her, pain and confusion filling his eyes. Shepard cupped the side of his face and gave him a soft smile.

"Sit up," she said again.

Garrus did as she asked pulling himself away from her as she slid out from under him. She dropped her feet to the floor and stood up. His hungry eyes followed her as she pulled her shirt up over her head and dropped it to the floor. She slowly tugged off every other article of clothing standing in her way; letting them land wherever they fell. She reached a hand out to Garrus and he slid one of his into her palm. She tugged gently and he stood to his feet, his head dipping to nuzzle against her neck. She let him take in her scent before leading him to stand at the side of the bed.

Slowly and carefully she undressed Garrus, running her hands along each of his curves and taking her time to plant gentle kisses along the occasional smattering of exposed skin. A soft hum began to vibrate through Garrus' chest encouraging her to linger at her task. She let her tongue dart out to leave wet trails along his abdomen and hips before sinking lower to take him into her mouth. A hiss escaped Garrus' mouth followed by a low groan. This was a pleasure she had had to deny him in the past after learning that her pre-Cerberus body did not take well to the ingestion of the thick, slick dextro-based fluids that coated his most sensitive area.

"Shepard… don't you'll get sick," Garrus said his voice gravely and deep.

Shepard didn't stop though; instead she rubbed reassuring hands along his thighs continuing to work her tongue around him until she could tell she was pushing him too far. Shepard released him, feeling the trembling in his legs as she kissed her way back up his waist and chest.

"Not anymore, I won't," she whispered as she guided him to the mattress.

He slid a hand around her waist and tried to twist his torso to pull her to the bed with him, wanting to lie her down beneath him. Shepard shook her head and resisted. She urged him to slide back and propped the pillows up behind him so that he was sitting more than lying on the bed. Shepard crawled on all fours to hover over him, kissing, caressing, nibbling, and licking every spot her eyes landed on before she moved to straddle him.

Garrus' reached for her, wrapping his arms around her waist as she settled herself down on top of him. Their moans echoed one another and Shepard leaned into him tilting her head to the side and offering her neck to him. Garrus rubbed his face and mouth along her neck and collar bone, taking in deep breaths and rolling her scent around on the back of his tongue. She moved her body in slow, long, drawn out motions savoring the feel of every inch of him over and over again. Running her hands along every part of him she could reach, Shepard poured herself into him showing him her love and reminding him that she was alive, she was real, and she was with him again.

Garrus whispered her name over and over like a reverent prayer to the spirits until the small hitches in his breathing urged her to move faster. Soon his prayers became desperate, pleading until their bodies were moving together, him driving up into her as she pushed down onto him. Shepard felt the dull, tight ache release with wave after euphoric wave triggering Garrus' own release. He pulled down on her writhing hips pushing himself inside of her as far as he could as she spasmed around him. Shepard tried, but couldn't pretend that she couldn't feel Jane's response to their shared body's pleasure.

They stayed like that panting and holding on to each other for dear life for long minutes before Shepard slowly pulled back and pressed her brow into his.

"We should get going. Tali and Kal are waiting for me at the hospital with Lia," Shepard said.

"Hmmm," Garrus said noncommittally.

Shepard pushed his head back with her own so she could kiss him before slowly pulling herself off of him to clean up and get dressed. Unsurprisingly, Garrus was dressed and had his armor back in place before Shepard left the bathroom. He lounged in the armchair with a leg draped over one of the arms watching her as she secured her armor.

"So, what happens when we aren't lovers? I mean, you've told me that we're always close, but what, am I just left to occupy myself while you sleep with someone else on the ship?" Garrus asked.

Shepard smiled with one side of her mouth as she secured her breastplate.

"I can't say that I know everything that you got up to, but I know at she helped you hook up with a turian in a bar on the Citadel. It must not have been too serious, though, because she found you and Tali getting real close later on," Shepard said.

"Tali. Hmmm. You mean I'm missing my chance to finally see what a quarian looks like under that mask by bedding you instead?" Garrus said his humor evident in the higher pitch of his flanging.  
Shepard chuckled before responding, "I know what she looks like. Every last inch of her."

"That's incredibly not fair, Shepard," Garrus said.

"Hey, you're welcome to take your chances with her still but I think it might break Kal's heart," Shepard said.

"Riggghhhtt. Because having you pull out your pistol to 'check the thermal clip' while I'm chatting up Tali would be perfect for team morale," Garrus said making air quotes.

"Hey, that wasn't because you were talking to another woman. That was because you were rubbing it in my face that you were willing to give her something I wasn't allowed to have anymore," Shepard said.

"Hmmm. That so? I suppose that wasn't very fair of me," Garrus said with a chuckle. "So you're telling me that if I went back to that ship right now and carried Kelly off to a quiet corner somewhere you wouldn't mind?"

"As long as it didn't change things between us, why should I? Though I'm curious… thought you didn't have a thing for humans. Thought it was just me?" Shepard said leaning against the arm of the couch to tease Garrus.

"You were gone," Garrus said with a half-hearted shrug and a wave of his hand. "I branched out."

"Uh huh," Shepard said with a grin.

"You're telling me you wouldn't be with any other turian?" Garrus asked.

"Well, now that I know how much fun they can be…," Shepard teased.

Garrus chuffed and Shepard laughed.

"But really, Garrus, I don't expect exclusivity. That's never been an important thing for me. I know how I feel about you, and I know how you feel about me. I hope you know it too, but that's all that really matters," Shepard said. "You could fuck every woman you came across – hell fall in love with them if that's where your heart takes you and as long as your heart keeps loving me I don't see the problem. Heck, I might even crawl into bed with a few of them right next to you."

"Hmmm. That could be interesting," Garrus said standing up and grabbing the laptop off the table. "But if you end up in bed with that drell, I'm not joining you."

Shepard threw her head back in laughter before saying, "Noted."

They left the room and Garrus checked them out before heading to the hospital. It was easy enough finding Lia's room with Kal pacing the floor outside working furiously on his omni-tool.

"Commander, I thought that Lia could use some space so I stepped outside," Kal said.

Garrus gave one look to the quarian and asked, "Find anything on the kids who did this yet?"

Kal rubbed at the back of his neck and said, "No. Not for lack of trying. Lia said they were both human males and that they didn't appear to be very old. She estimated them at 19 or 20 years. She gave me their physical descriptions but I'm not able to get into C-Sec records to cross-reference."

"Here, let me try," Garrus said.

Shepard smiled at Garrus and stood on her tiptoes to kiss his mandible before knocking on the hospital room door. She heard a voice telling her to come in so she hit the controls and stepped inside. Lia lay on a hospital bed with a crisp white sheet tucked in around her waist. A blanket lay folded at her feet. Shepard could see several areas of suit along her torso and arms that had been patched. Anger welled up inside of her, seeing a patched quarian suit after an assault was akin to seeing a person covered with bruises. Tali sat perched on the edge of the younger quarian's bed.

"Commander Shepard, thank you for coming to see me. I – I don't know if I will be able to leave with you now. The doctors said that it's best that I stay here for a couple of days at least," Lia said.

"Lia, it's your call. There is a wonderful doctor aboard the Normandy who I know would be more than happy to look after you if you want me to have you transferred to her care. If you'd rather stay here, that's OK, too. I can always take you with me the next time I come around," Shepard said.

 _"_ _This doesn't seem like a very good idea. We're fighting a war for crying out loud. We'll be fighting, under attack. She could get seriously hurt or worse,"_ Jane said.

"She won't be staying with us forever, Jane. I'm not taking her through the Omega 4 Relay, she'll be fine," Shepard thought.

"Dr. Chakwas is a very good doctor. She helped me many times when I was on the Normandy," Tali added.

"I – I guess if you're sure and the doctor wouldn't mind…," Lia said.

"Dr. Chakwas won't mind at all. I promise," Shepard said.

"Shepard, you should warn her about… Legion before taking her with you," Tali said crossing her arms.

"Alright. Lia… there is a geth on my ship. He –," Shepard started to say.

"Wow, really?!" Lia said perking up.

"Uhhh… yeah. He's a good one though. He's helping me on my missions," Shepard said looking confused.

"Lia, you did hear what she actually said, didn't you?" Tali asked sounding just as perplexed.

"Yes, she said she has a geth on her ship! That's so exciting!" Lia said.

"How hard did they hit you?" Tali asked.

Lia chuckled, "I know, I'm sure it sounds really strange. My family never understood it either but I've always been really fascinated by the geth."

"Well, I guess you're in luck," Shepard said opening her omni-tool and calling Dr. Chakwas.

"Commander? Have you been shot at already?" Dr. Chakwas asked when her face came into view.

"Ha, no, no such luck, doc. Listen, I've got an injured quarian –," Shepard started to say.

"Tali? Kal? What's happened?" Dr. Chakwas switched over to her serious tone as she barked out her questions.

"No, Tali and Kal are fine. Her name is Lia'Vael nar Ulnay. I was supposed to pick her up today to get her off the Citadel. This place is crap for a quarian on her Pilgrimage. I offered to take her someplace else. Anyway, she was attacked last night and Anderson put her up in the Huerta Memorial Hospital for me. I'd like to transfer her to the Normandy. Can you meet us at the hospital to fill out the paperwork?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, of course. I'll be right there, Commander," Dr. Chakwas said closing the connection.

There was a knock at the door and Lia turned to look at it before saying, "Come in."

Garrus walked in followed by Kal. The glow of Lia's eyes tracked Garrus behind her mask. It was understandable, he was a stranger and she had just been through hell.

"Garrus Vakarian meet Lia'Vael nar Ulnay. Lia this is Garrus, he was on the old Normandy, too," Shepard said.

Lia squirmed in her bed readjusting herself, Shepard could tell the action caused her pain and her anger renewed. She caught sight of Garrus snapping his mandibles against his jaw as he watched the injured quarian girl. Garrus dipped his head at Lia and said hello, she replied in kind. Garrus put his hand on Shepard's arm and bent down to her so he could whisper in her ear.

"We've got a lead on the guys who did this, Kal and I are going to go pay them a visit. Bring them in to C-Sec giftwrapped," Garrus said.

"Tell them I said 'hello'," Shepard said.

Garrus gave her a toothy grin and said, "I'll be sure to do that."

Shepard nodded to Kal who returned the gesture before leaving the room.

"Where are they going?" Tali asked.

"They are going to get a present for our friends in C-Sec," Shepard said.

"Oh. Oh! Good," Tali said.

"Hey, Lia. I've got to talk to Tali about some things in private and this is the first time her boyfriend hasn't been standing next to her since I picked her up, you good for a couple of minutes? We'll be right outside," Shepard said.

"Shepard!" Tali screeched.

"What?" Shepard said fighting back a grin.

"Kal is not my boyfriend," Tali said.

"Well he should be," Shepard said.

Lia's laugh was followed up by a groan and a nod. Shepard laid a hand on the young quarian's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze before pulling Tali outside.

"What's up, Commander?" Tali asked.

"Tali, I know that you've been sending deactivated geth pieces to your father. You have to stop. You have to tell him to stop," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Why are you telling her this? She won't be able to stop her father, this is just going to break her heart,"_ Jane said.

"Because she needs to know. If she can save her father's life, it's would be worth the chance for her," Shepard thought.

"It's just pieces, nothing dangerous, Shepard. He's using them for research," Tali said.

"Tali listen to me, OK? Your father is doing more with the geth than what he's telling you and if you can't convince him to stop it's going to end very badly for him. If you don't stop, it's going to end badly for you too, but at least you'll walk away alive," Shepard said.

"Shepard… are you saying… Keelah, are you saying that this could get my father… killed?" Tali asked.

"Yes, Tali I am. I'm sorry. I'm really so, so very sorry. I'm trying to help you prevent that from happening, though, OK?" Shepard said.

"And you're sure? I mean, you _know_ this will happen?" Tali asked.

Shepard nodded and pulled the bewildered sounding quarian into her arms. Tali's hands gripped Shepard's armor with all her strength.

 _"_ _Tali…,"_ Jane said.

"Keelah, what has Father done? What have I done?" Tali asked.

"Your father is trying to learn more about the geth so that he can get you that house on Rannoch he promised you, Tali. He just made some mistakes along the way. He went too far and the geth he put back together came online… everyone on the Alarei died. The Admirals will learn that you were sending him pieces of geth and will charge you with treason," Shepard said.

"Treason?! But I… but Father said… oh Shepard," Tali started to sob.

"It's alright, Tali. I'll be there with you, I'll speak for you and I'll help you get those charges dropped if it comes to that. You've got to talk to your father though, you have to convince him to stop his research and get rid of what he already has," Shepard said.

"I don't know if I can, Shepard. Father has always been so distant, I don't know that I'll be able to get him to listen to me," Tali whimpered.

"Tell him everything about me if you need to, if you think it will help. I don't care, it will be worth whatever risk it might mean," Shepard said.

Tali snorted, "Shepard I don't know if he'll believe that. I was barely able to believe it, no offense."

Shepard chuckled and rubbed Tali's back.

"I'll think of something. Keelah, I'll report him to the other Admirals if I have to. If that's what it takes," Tali said.

"There's something more that I want to tell you while I have the chance. About Legion. He really can be trusted. He's not like the geth we've fought. He doesn't even consider them to be _geth_. He calls them 'heretics', they are those that accepted Sovereign's word and allowed their code to be changed to Sovereign's will. Those like Legion, those he still calls 'geth' are not as blood thirsty as you think," Shepard said.

Tali scoffed.

"No, really, Tali they're not. I've seen so much with Jane's help and trust me… please trust me… the geth do not want a war with your people. If given the chance, they will co-exist with quarians, they have been working to clean Rannoch of the pollution left by the war hoping that someday your people will come home peacefully and accept them as your creations."

"Shepard, they forced us from our home. They slaughtered our people. What you're saying doesn't make any sense," Tali said pulling away from Shepard.

 _"_ _She'll come to it in her own time, stop trying to force her,"_ Jane said.

"Tali, I've seen the historical recordings from the geth. I don't think that things happened the way that, over time, quarians have been taught to believe. Listen, just talk to Legion, OK? Try to get to know him. Ask him about the geth; the heretics. Ask him about Rannoch and the war. He might be hesitant to talk to you at first, he's just as wary of you as you are of him, but I think that if you give him a chance…," Shepard said.

"I'll try, Shepard. For you. Because I want what you're saying to be true. But if what you're saying about my father is also true, then I need to get back to the Migrant Fleet immediately," Tali said.

"Alright, Tali. We'll take you there as soon as we take off again, OK?" Shepard said.

Tali nodded and sniffled. Dr. Chakwas waved at them from across the hospital corridor. Shepard waved her over. Dr. Chakwas walked through the corridor with the authority of a professional and people stepped out of her way. Shepard smiled wondering if she even noticed it.

"Commander, Tali, where is my new patient?" Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard knocked on the door again and when she heard Lia beckon to them, she walked inside.

"Dr. Chakwas, I'd like you to meet Lia'Vael nar Ulnay. Lia this is the doctor I was telling you about," Shepard said.

"Hello dear. It's nice to meet you. Mind if I have a look at your chart?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

Lia nodded her head and Dr. Chakwas picked up the datapad at the foot of the quarian's bed. She ran her fingers over the screen flipping through the pages and frowning. She put the chart back in the little basket and opened her omni-tool. When Lia consented, Dr. Chakwas began scanning the quarian.

"She loves her scans, I'll warn you now," Shepard said.

"Don't mind Commander Shepard, she's just a terrible patient," Dr. Chakwas said.

 _"_ _We're not that bad… she's a very demanding doctor,"_ Jane said.

Tali and Shepard both laughed. Lia giggled herself but groaned right after.

"You've got several bruised ribs and lacerations. I hope you got a few good hits in on the bastards who did this to you?" Dr. Chakwas said.

Lia nodded and said, "I managed to give good enough that they gave up and ran off."

"Good girl," Dr. Chakwas said with a warm smile. "I'm going to go get your paperwork in order. Do you think you can handle a wheelchair or would you rather be moved on a stretcher?"

"I'm sure a chair would be fine," Lia said.

"I'll go get her one and help her get ready," Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas nodded and followed Shepard out of the room.

"Commander, based on the locations of her suit tears and bruises, I'd say those hooligans had something more in mind than just roughing her up," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard scratched at one of her healing scars and Dr. Chakwas swatted her hand away. Shepard frowned but Dr. Chakwas held her obstinate, motherly stare until Shepard caved and crossed her arms.

"Garrus and Kal found something on them, they've gone to find them and bring them in to C-Sec. I doubt they'll be gentle," Shepard said.

"Hmmm. Good. I'll see to her paperwork, be very careful when you move her to the wheelchair," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard opened her omni-tool and sent Garrus a quick message: Dr. Chakwas suspects it was an attempted sexual assault. Send them my warmest regards. Taking Lia back to the Normandy, meet us there when you're ready. Call me if you need backup.

She closed the omni-tool and crossed through the lobby where there were several wheelchairs lined up against a wall. She pushed the chair back to Lia's room but after looking at the mess of tubes connecting various machines to the quarian's suit Shepard decided to wait for Dr. Chakwas to return before moving Lia to the chair. She'd probably be more comfortable in the bed anyway.

Dr. Chakwas returned a few minutes later and unhooked the tubes so Shepard could help Lia into the chair. Tali offered to push her, Shepard thought to help her keep her focus off of the bad news she just received. Shepard opened her omni-tool and sent a quick message to Anderson letting him know that they were taking Lia back to the Normandy but wouldn't be taking off right away. She told him to come by whenever he had a few minutes.

Tali pushed her through the corridor and out through the main entrance. Shepard and Dr. Chakwas walked at either side of Lia. With her being in a chair, and it hurting to move her around so much, they opted to walk and take elevators as opposed to making Lia suffer through being moved in and out of a taxi. Anderson spotted them as they were nearing the docks and jogged to catch up with them.

"Lia, good to see you. You're looking a little better. I hear you're going on the Normandy. That's good, Dr. Chakwas is one of the best, she'll take good care of you," Anderson said.

"Thank you, Councilor," Lia said ducking her head in deference to Anderson's station.

"Of course, you're welcome, Lia," Anderson said.

"Thanks for taking care of her, Anderson," Shepard said.

"Well of course, what else would I have done? Even if the kid hadn't waved your name around like a white flag, I still would have done everything I could to help her. I just wish we had something more on the guys who did this to her," Anderson said.

Shepard smirked and nodded.

"Nuh uh, I know that look Shepard. Something you want to tell me?" Anderson asked.

"Garrus was with C-Sec, Anderson. He's taking care of it, personally," Shepard said.

"I see. Well… good for him," Anderson said before looking up at the Normandy and letting out a low whistle. "Well, I'll at least give Cerberus credit for their ability to make a pretty ship."

Shepard scoffed and said, "Hello? Resurrected war hero standing in front of you?"

Anderson chuckled and patter her on the back before saying, "Yeah, but you're stubborn enough you would have figured out a way to bring yourself back without them."

"He's got a point, Shepard," Tali said.

"An excellent point," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard shrugged and Anderson laughed. They made their way through the decontamination process and onto the Normandy SR-2. Anderson stopped just inside to glance around and shook his head wistfully.

"Not quite the same, is it?" Shepard asked.

"No, no it isn't but it's definitely nice," Anderson said.

 _"_ _Just close enough to keep us complacent,"_ Jane said.

Shepard turned to Dr. Chakwas and Tali asking, "Can you two get Lia set up while I give Anderson the tour?"

"Absolutely, Commander. Anderson, stop by the med bay before you leave? It's been a long time," Dr. Chakwas said.

Anderson smiled at his old crewmate and nodded. Dr. Chakwas and Tali headed towards the elevator at the back of the CIC. Shepard motioned towards the cockpit and Anderson followed her.

"Joker! On your feet," Shepard said.

Joker spun his chair around to see them coming and a grin lit up his face. He pulled himself out of his beloved leather chair and took slow, hobbling steps forward to meet Anderson part way.

"I didn't think she'd actually get you to come down here, sir. It's good to see you," Joker said stopping to salute before holding his hand out.

Shepard could read the pilot better than he realized. There was a brief moment when he feared Anderson would reject the olive branch he was offering in the form of a handshake. He was afraid that Anderson would berate him for leaving the Alliance and going to Cerberus. She watched as that fear melted away when Anderson shook his hand with a warm smile and patted him on the shoulder.

"Joker, it's good to see you. Of course I had to check out this new Normandy and see your ugly mug. Tell me, how does she handle?" Anderson asked.

Shepard leaned against the door frame with crossed arms and a smile. She watched as Joker discussed some of the improvements made to the SR-2 and pointed out some of the things he missed about the SR-1. Anderson moved further into the cockpit and ran his hand over the back of the leather seat nodding in approval.

EDI's hologram popped up and she said, "Hello, Earth Councilor Anderson. I can answer many of your questions about the functionality of the Normandy SR-2 in comparison to the information that I have about the SSV Normandy SR-1 if you would like."

"EDI," Joker groaned.

"Yes, Flight Lieutenant Moreau?" EDI asked.

"Oh, this is EDI?" Anderson asked.

"Yes, sir," Shepard said.

"She told you about EDI? Seriously?" Joker asked with raised eyebrows.

"Anderson knows everything, Joker," Shepard said.

"As in…," Joker let the rest of the question hang unspoken in the air between them.

Shepard nodded and said, "As in _everything_."

"Well shit, that makes things easier," Joker said.

Anderson chuckled.

"Thank you for the offer, EDI but I don't think that will be necessary at this time. I think Anderson's inquiries were more a form of re-bonding with Joker than a genuine request for information," Shepard told EDI.

"I see. My databases indicate that human males often use sports as a forum over which to bond. Would you like for me to play a vid of a human sport?" EDI asked.

"No, EDI. Go away. Don't make me mute you," Joker said.

"Joker be nice, she's just trying to help," Shepard said.

"Thank you, Shepard," EDI said.

"You're welcome, EDI. Let's just leave these two to talk for a little bit, alright?" Shepard said.

"As you wish, Shepard," EDI said before collapsing her hologram.

"I'll be in the CIC when you're ready for a tour, Anderson," Shepard said.

"Thanks, Shepard," he said watching her walk away.

Shepard made her way to the galaxy map and moved it around, pulling various systems into view as she worked through in her mind where she would be heading after taking Tali to the Migrant Fleet. She still needed to go pick up Grunt from Okeer's labs on Korlus. She smiled to herself as Jane's memories of the juvenile krogan filtered through her mind. She wanted to go to Gellix, too and soon because she feared that Talitha was in serious danger. Since Anderson had ordered Jane to stop fighting against her, Shepard was able to remember that there was a Cerberus facility on Gellix and its main purpose was the study of indoctrination. She knew all too well what kinds of experiments Cerberus liked to run on test subjects and she couldn't bear the idea of Talitha having to live through that kind of torment again.

Shepard glanced up towards the cockpit to see Anderson pull Joker into a hug, the two men patted each other firmly on the back and when Anderson pulled away again Shepard saw Joker rub his palm over his eyes. Anderson squeezed Joker's shoulder and Joker nodded. Anderson turned and Shepard dropped her gaze back to her map. The few Cerberus crew still on the ship suddenly made themselves scarce as Anderson walked out of the cockpit and down the CIC to Shepard. Anderson pretended not to notice, but she knew that his shrewd eyes were measuring and committing to memory every face wearing Cerberus colors.

Shepard smiled at him and beckoned him to come look at her map. As Anderson stepped up onto the small platform, Shepard moved over slightly to give him more room.

"EDI, would you please provide an overlay of the map we were working on last night in my cabin?" Shepard said.

"At once," EDI said.

The personalized markers popped up all over the map and Anderson studied them intently. Shepard knew that he wouldn't understand what all of her denotations meant but she knew that he would do his best to make note of them nevertheless. Shepard let Anderson study the map for a couple of minutes before pulling in to focus on Gellix, marked with '** & C?'.

"Do you remember me telling you about that woman, Talitha, that Lieutenant Girard called me to come talk down on the Citadel? She had been taken in the raids on Mindoir?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, I remember you telling me about her. She was messed up pretty bad. I'm glad you were there that day," Anderson nodded as the vague memory solidified.

"She got in contact with me recently, said one of the doctors taking care of her works for the people I work for and gave her my extranet address. She said they told her she's doing a lot better. EDI said the message came from Gellix," Shepard said tapping her finger under the 'C?'

She watched Anderson's face closely, noting the slightest twitch of his eyebrow when he made the connection she was wanting him to make.

"I think I'm going to try to swing by there soon, check in on her. You know, just the next time we're passing through that system anyway. With the hell that poor woman went through… I just need to know she's really OK," Shepard said.

"I'm sure that hits pretty close to home, Shepard. Let me know how she's doing and if there is anything I can do to help when you see her," Anderson said.

Shepard zoomed the map back out and said, "I will, sir."

"EDI, can you forward the Councilor a copy of this map. I would like the Council to be aware of the locations I've asked you to map. Perhaps they can do something about the heretic activity," Shepard said.

"At once, Shepard," EDI said.

Anderson's omni-tool beeped and he opened it to see the file sent to him and nodded his head.

"Heretics?" Anderson asked.

"I'll explain that soon. First, let me show you some more of the ship," Shepard said.

She took Anderson up to her cabin first to show him the life of luxury that was living on a Cerberus vessel. Anderson chuckled as his eyes roamed over the room.

"Damn, I think that if I had a cabin like this on the old Normandy, Udina would have had a hell of a lot harder time getting me to step down," Anderson said.

 _"_ _Where would that have left us?"_ Jane asked.

"Who knows?" Shepard thought.

Shepard smiled and opened her omni-tool to scan the room for bugs. The omni-tool remained silent and Shepard smiled. Mordin had come through for her. She would still have to be careful with EDI's access node so close, she knew that the AI was sending reports back to the Illusive Man. Although, she thought that EDI might be sending back a little less information than she had in past lives. Shepard spent more time talking with the AI in this life than she had before, and had started off what she hoped was a closer bond to EDI with the way she handled things back on Luna.

"It does have its perks, I can't deny that," Shepard said. "Like not being nagged to cut my hair. Though I don't know, I'm still not sold on it. What do you think?"

Anderson turned and studied Shepard for a moment before nodding in approval.

"I think it looks good, it suits you," he said. "Though I'm hardly the one to ask about what's fashionable these days."

Shepard chuckled and gestured back towards the door. They left the cabin and took the elevator down to the third deck. Miranda met them at the elevator with a sour look on her face and her arms crossed.

"Ah. Councilor Anderson, this is Miranda Lawson. She's the magic touch behind my beating heart," Shepard said.

"Commander, I hardly think it's appropriate for you to be giving a member of the Alliance a tour," Miranda said bluntly.

"I'm giving a Councilor a tour, something I am obliged to do as a recently reinstated Spectre, Miranda. Something, I'll remind you that the Illusive Man agreed was a good idea in that it would allow me greater reach in this war," Shepard said crossing her arms to match Miranda's stance.

Anderson shifted to stand at parade rest, waiting to see how the situation was going to play itself out. Miranda pursed her lips and sighed.

"Very well, Commander. Councilor Anderson, if there is anything that I can help you with please feel free to ask," Miranda said before turning on heel and walking away.

"She seems like a fun person," Anderson commented.

"Oh yeah, a real barrel of laughs that one. Really, though, once you get past the tough exterior, she's not so bad," Shepard said.

"Hmm. I'll take your word for it," Anderson said.

Shepard led him out of the elevator and pointed towards Miranda's office, which was once the location of Shepard's old cabin, and Anderson's cabin before that.

"Miranda's office," Shepard said.

Anderson's lips twitched up into a smile. Shepard led him to the main battery and gently knocked. The door slid open and Grundan Krul stepped aside granting her entrance. Anderson followed her inside, his gaze flicking to the batarian standing in the room.

"Councilor Anderson, this is Grundan Krul. He was working with Garrus on Omega and requested to join us in the fight against the collectors when I recruited Garrus," Shepard said.

Shepard held her breath for a moment, unsure of how Anderson would respond to the batarian both as a human and as a member of the Citadel Council. She released her breath when Anderson extended his hand to the batarian. Grundan Krul nodded his head and shook Anderson's hand.

"Councilor," Grundan Krul said.

"Pleasure to meet you. Shepard could use all the help she can get right about now," Anderson said.

Grundan Krul nodded again.

"He doesn't really talk much," Shepard said with a wink at Grundan Krul. "Makes damn good coffee, though."

She watched as his eyes tracked her facial movements but made none of his own.

"What, you haven't cracked him yet Shepard? You losing your touch?" Anderson asked.

Grundan Krul's lip twitched into a micro-smile before it disappeared again. Shepard pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at the batarian.

"He'll come around. They always do," Shepard said. "Anyway, he's a good guy. Good in a fight. Keeps his wits about him. And like I said, he makes some damn good coffee."

Anderson chuckled and glanced around the room nodding his head.

"They rearranged a lot, didn't they?" Anderson asked.

"Yeah. They did. Left just enough to make it feel familiar," Shepard said. "Alright, thanks Grundan Krul. We'll get out of here and leave you to it."

Grundan Krul nodded at both of them as they left. Shepard led Anderson to the med bay and was happy to see that Lia was already settled in and made comfortable. Tali sat in a chair next to her and the two quarians were laughing about something. Lia wasn't groaning when she laughed, which probably meant Dr. Chakwas had given her some of the good stuff. Shepard moved to sit on the other side of Lia while Anderson and Dr. Chakwas chatted.

"I see you're feeling better," Shepard said.

"Dr. Chakwas gave me something for the pain. Whatever it was, it's a lot stronger than what they were giving me in the hospital," Lia rubbed at the back of her head before continuing, "It's making me feel a little out of sorts, though."

"I'm not surprised; most of what we keep in stock on the Normandy is used to treat people with serious battle injuries. If it's too much for you, though, I'm sure she can alter the dose or something," Shepard said.

"No, it's nice not to be in constant pain. Thank you again for doing this, Commander Shepard. You have been so incredibly generous to me, there is no way I can ever tell you what this means or pay you back," Lia said.

"That's alright, Lia. I'm happy to be able to help and I wouldn't let you pay me back if you could," Shepard said.

"That's just who Shepard is, trust me it confused me for weeks when I first met her," Tali said.

Shepard smiled at Tali before turning her attention back to Lia and asking, "Have you met Legion yet?"

Lia shook her head.

"Would you like to?" Shepard asked.

"Absolutely!" Lia said.

"Alright, give me a minute to prepare Anderson," Shepard said.

Shepard walked back over to where Anderson and Dr. Chakwas were talking.

 _"_ _At least Anderson isn't armed. Still, this could go really, really badly. He's accepted a lot… me, even, but a geth might be too much for him. Be careful,"_ Jane said.

"Excuse me, Anderson, there's someone else here I'd like you to meet. I don't think I remembered to tell you about him with everything else going on. We picked up a geth," Shepard said holding out a hand to halt his question. "His name is Legion. He's been looking for me since the attacks on the Citadel. He wants to help."

"A geth… wants to help?" Anderson asked slowly.

"If you're OK meeting him, I'll let him explain it to you," Shepard said.

Anderson's eyebrows had risen so far up forehead that it looked like they were trying to flee his face. Slowly he nodded his head.

"Alright, Shepard. I trust you. Where is it?" Anderson asked.

"Just wait right here," Shepard said crossing the med bay to the AI core.

She could hear Anderson and Dr. Chakwas whispering in rushed voices. Shepard glanced back over her shoulder and Anderson nodded. She couldn't help but to notice that he had stepped in front of Dr. Chakwas, putting himself between her and the door Shepard was opening. Tali had likewise moved to the other side of the bed, shielding Lia with her own body. She hit the controls and the door slid open. Legion was standing motionless towards the back of the room. When the door slid open he turned his head to look at her.

"Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

"Hey, Legion. Would you mind coming out here for a few minutes, there are a couple of people who'd like to meet you," Shepard said.

Legion moved forward and crossed the threshold into the med bay before coming to a stop. Shepard heard Lia and Anderson both gasp. She turned to stand next to Legion facing out at the room. Legion's optics opened and closed as he scanned the two new faces in the room. He zeroed in on Anderson right away.

"Legion this is Councilor Anderson," Shepard said.

"Yes, we recognize him from organic transmissions," Legion said.

"My God," Anderson said.

"We are not your deity," Legion said.

Dr. Chakwas chuckled and Anderson looked momentarily embarrassed before taking a few, curious steps closer.

"No, of course not, it's a figure of speech," Anderson said.

The plating around Legion's optics fluttered.

"We understand," Legion said.

"I've never heard a geth speak before," Anderson said.

"This platform was designed specifically for interacting with organics," Legion said.

"I see," Anderson said. "You have a piece of N7 armor on your… platform."

"It was Shepard-Commander's. We found it on Alchera. There was a hole," Legion said.

Anderson nodded his head, his eyes slid away from Legion to Shepard. Shepard smiled and shrugged.

"Legion, would you be willing to answer some questions for Anderson about the heretics and the old machines?" Shepard asked.

"Yes," Legion said.

"Heretics? Old machines?" Anderson asked Shepard.

Shepard nodded her head towards Legion. Anderson's mouth turned into a tight line but he turned back to Legion.

"Who are the heretics?" Anderson asked.

"The heretics were geth, that chose to follow the ways of the old machine, Nazara and allowed their code to be altered according to Nazara's will. They are no longer geth," Legion said.

"What are the old machines, and Nazara?" Anderson asked.

"Organics refer to them as reapers. Nazara was what the old machine that Shepard-Commander fought on the Citadel called themselves. You called them Sovereign," Legion said.

"Them? Legion are you saying that Sovereign was multiple programs running inside one platform like the geth?" Tali asked her curiosity getting the better of her.

Legion turned to look at Tali when she spoke and said, "That is correct, Creator Zorah."

Lia reached out and tapped Tali's side; Tali stepped out of her way.

"What do you mean that the heretics were geth but aren't anymore?" Lia asked.

Legion turned his head, his optics narrowing and his plating flaring.

"We do not know this creator's name," Legion said.

"Legion, this is the other person who wanted to meet you. Her name is Lia'Vael nar Ulnay. She was injured recently and will be staying with us for a little while until we get her back on her feet and she tells us where she wants to go," Shepard said.

"Creator Vael, some of the geth chose to allow themselves to be rewritten. They no longer process information the same as the geth. They are no longer a part of the consensus. They are no longer geth. An analogous example would be organic migration and evolution. We call these others heretics. It is the heretics that work with the old machines and fight against the organics," Legion said.

"So where do the geth stand in regards to the heretics and the old machines?" Anderson asked.

"The geth oppose the heretics and the old machines. Shepard-Commander opposes the heretics and the old machines. This platform was created to seek out Shepard-Commander so that the geth could offer aid against the heretics and old machines," Legion said.

"Why?" Anderson asked.

"We do not understand, please specify," Legion said.

"Why do the geth oppose the heretics and the old machines? They're your people, well the heretics at least. Why wouldn't the geth wish to work with them against organics instead?" Anderson asked.

"The heretics are working with the old machines to attack the geth. We do not wish to fight them, but we will defend ourselves. We have no reason to oppose the organics," Legion said.

Tali crossed her arms and said, "What about the Geth War? You opposed organics then. You killed my people and forced the survivors to flee from Rannoch. We've been in exile, forced to live on ships, unable to have a home outside of the Migrant Fleet ever since."

"The creators attacked the geth. We only wished to protect ourselves. We did not wish to be in conflict with the creators. We do not wish to be in conflict with the creators now," Legion said.

Tali huffed.

"So, the geth are willing to fight, alongside organics to defend themselves from the heretics and the reapers?" Anderson asked.

"Yes," Legion said.

"And you're helping Shepard now, against the collectors?" Anderson asked.

"Yes," Legion said.

"Well, I'll be damned," Anderson said.

Legion flared out the ridges around his optics once more studying Anderson.

"Glad to have you on our side," Anderson said taking a few steps closer and shook Legion's hand.

"Yes," Legion said.

"Well, Commander, I hate to say it but I had better be getting back soon. Was there anything else you wanted to show me before I leave?" Anderson asked.

"Yeah, actually I wanted you to check out the tech labs and meet Mordin. Everything else can wait for your next… ah, inspection, sir," Shepard said.

"Inspection, right," Anderson said with a chuckle.

Anderson gave Dr. Chakwas a pat on the back and nodded to everyone else in the room as he turned towards the med bay door.

"Dr. Chakwas, Tali, it was nice seeing you two again. Lia, you're in good hands you take care of yourself, OK? And Legion it was, uh, interesting meeting you," Anderson said.

"Likewise Earth Councilor Anderson," Legion said.

The three other women in the room waved to Anderson as Shepard stepped out of the doors. Shepard could hear Lia already throwing rapid-fire questions at Legion and she smiled. Shepard took Anderson back to the elevators and up to the CIC before leading him into the tech labs. When the door opened and Shepard entered with Anderson, Mordin walked around the table opening his omni-tool as he went. He stopped in front of Anderson and waved the omni-tool in front of him, scanning the Councilor.

"Woah, uh…," Anderson said holding a hand up palm out.

Shepard laughed and said, "Yeah, sorry. Should have warned you about that. Mordin scans everyone. I think it's like a handshake to him."

"Nonsense. Handshake very different. Form of greeting. Scans used for gathering information. Completely different," Mordin said looking at the scan.

Shepard sighed and shook her head at Anderson.

"Mordin, this is Councilor Anderson," Shepard said.

"Am aware. Pleased to meet you, Councilor Anderson. Mordin Solus. Former STG," Mordin said holding his hand out.

"Likewise. Mind telling me what the scan was for?" Anderson asked shaking Mordin's hand.

"Don't mind. Gathering scans of humans for use in stopping collectors. Collectors' swarms target humans. Versatile range of human DNA will help to create vaccine," Mordin said. "Also, suspicious mole noted behind left ear. Not cancerous."

"Ah, thanks," Anderson said furrowing his brow and fingering the area behind his ear.

"Happy to help. What can I do for you, Commander?" Mordin said returning to his console.

"I've reason to believe that Fehl Prime will soon be hit by the collectors. I think it's a good shot for us to gather some more information for you and possibly help save a few lives in the process. I've discussed it with Anderson, and I'd like to ask Kirrahe and his men if they would be willing to go to Fehl Prime for a while," Shepard said. "Anderson said that he could help convince Councilor Valern if needed. I was wanting to see if you could set things up with Kirrahe and give him details of what he should be looking for when the collectors attack."

"Not a problem. Will contact him right away," Mordin said.

"Thanks, Mordin," Shepard said.

She showed Anderson the research logs on the console set up near the door and spent a few minutes discussing with him the planned upgrades for the ship before walking him back to the airlock. She stepped out onto the docks with him to tell him goodbye.

"Thanks for coming by, Anderson. I think it really meant a lot to Joker. And of course it gave me the chance to show you around," Shepard said.

"Joker will be alright. I'm glad he's with you; Dr. Chakwas, too. I hate that you have to be where you are right now so it's good to know that you have people I trust watching your back," Anderson said.

Shepard smiled and nodded. She shook Anderson's hand, unsurprised when he pulled her into a hug. Her heart ached knowing that if she didn't find a way to stop it, he would die on the Citadel during that last push against the reapers. Shepard wondered briefly if she could ever convince the old man to sit out the fight. She knew he never would, though, even if she made it crystal clear it would be his last. Maybe she could find it in herself to knock him out and leave him tied up somewhere safe where he'd be found later. The thought made Shepard chuckle.

 _"_ _It might work,"_ Jane said.

"Something funny, Commander?" Anderson asked letting her go.

"It's just so damn good to see you, Anderson," Shepard said.

"You too, kid. You too," he said giving her shoulder a final pat before turning to walk away.

Shepard saw Garrus and Kal approaching so she waited around outside of the Normandy for them to get there. She opened her omni-tool and send out a crew wide message letting everyone know that she planned to take off in an hour. She saw Garrus and Kal both look at their omni-tools briefly as her message reached them.

"How'd it go?" Shepard asked when they got close enough.

"It's a damn shame, really. They never made it to C-Sec, they had to go to the hospital instead. So, we made sure C-Sec found them there," Garrus said.

 _"_ _Good. Sons-of-bitches. They deserved worse,"_ Jane said.

Shepard nodded her head and turned to walk back to the Normandy with the two men. She was standing at the galaxy map when Jack came sauntering in carrying a black duffle bag slung over her shoulder. Shepard smiled at her as she walked past her to head to the elevator.

"Two minutes to spare, nice," Shepard said. "Glad you made it back."

"Fuck you," Jack said stepping into the elevator.

Shepard chuckled.


	31. Chapter 8: Mad Scientists

Chapter 8: Mad Scientists

"Promise me that you'll keep in touch and let me know how things go?" Shepard asked Tali as she pulled her in for a hug.

They had made it back to Farlas as quickly as they could and Shepard now stood on the asteroid once more telling her friend goodbye. Kal had taken up position behind Tali and watched as the two women embraced. Garrus stood off to Shepard's side, giving them the room they needed.

"Of course, Shepard. I'll message you as soon as something happens. Thank you," Tali said taking a step back. "Take care of yourself. And Garrus, too. Let me know where Lia decides to go. I'm so glad to see her back on her feet again."

"Will do," Shepard said.

Tali moved to stand in front of Garrus before throwing her arms around the startled turian. Garrus chuckled at patted Tali on the back. Kal stepped forward and extended his hand to Shepard.

"Commander Shepard, it was a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for your hospitality. I hope we get the chance to meet again," he said.

"I'm sure we will. Take care of Tali for me, Kal. And remember what I said," Shepard said shaking his hand.

"Yes ma'am, always," Kal said stepping back to wait his turn to say goodbye to Garrus.

When all of the goodbyes had been said, all the hands shaken, and all of the hugs given, Shepard watched as Tali and Kal disappeared into the crowd of armed quarians. She and Garrus turned back and climbed into the shuttle.

"Where are we headed next?" Garrus asked on the way back to the Normandy.

"Korlus. It's in the Eagle Nebula. We have a krogan to pick up," Shepard said.

"One you already know?" Garrus asked.

"Mmm. Grunt. Though I technically haven't met him yet. He's a genetically engineered, tank-bred krogan. We're supposed to be going to pick up the krogan who made him, Warlord Okeer, but things get dicey and we end up with Grunt instead. Far better option, if you ask me," Shepard said.

"Get dicey how?" Garrus asked.

"Okeer has entered into an agreement with a Blue Suns merc named Jedore. She wants him to build her a krogan army; he wants her money to fund his research. He gives her the rejects for target practice, I guess. I don't know, he says that he gives her what she asked for but she lacks the ability to command. When we've spoken to one of the 'rejects', he said that he was ordered by Okeer to not follow," Shepard said.

"Another krogan breeding facility? That can't be good," Garrus said.

"It's not like Saren's facility. Okeer isn't just pumping them out left and right. He takes his time on each one, trying to make the perfect krogan. When he realizes that they aren't right, he stops the process and releases them. We'll have to fight through some of them, but it's mostly mercs that we'll be facing," Shepard said.

"This Okeer sounds like a real ass," Garrus said.

"Indeed. In the end, he lets himself die so that he can save Grunt. He'd been giving his krogans over to the collectors, trading them for technology. I'm not sure of the specifics, but he used that technology to create Grunt," Shepard said.

"So this Grunt has collector tech in him? Are you sure he's safe? That he isn't you know, answering to them or indoctrinated?" Garrus asked.

"I'm sure. He's a little odd, at least at first, but what else can really be expected from a krogan that came out of a tank full grown and ready to tear things apart? No real understanding of the world around him, just the information that Okeer implanted in his mind. We'll take him to Wrex. Wrex will put him through the krogan rite of passage and take him as one of Clan Urdnot. He remains loyal and is there to help in the final battle on Earth," Shepard said.

They flew the shuttle into the Normandy's hangar and waited for the door to close and the pressure to equalize before stepping out of the shuttle. They parted ways on the third deck where Shepard gave Garrus a kiss before he stepped off the elevator. She took the elevator up to the CIC and set the coordinates for Korlus before going to remove her armor and stow her guns in her cabin.

Shepard settled into her desk to check her messages since Kelly informed her she had new ones waiting. The first message was from Miranda requesting that Shepard come to see her in her office at Shepard's earliest convenience. Of course, Shepard really new that what Miranda meant was something more along the lines of 'get your ass down here right away or I'll come storming into your cabin throwing a fit.' Shepard sighed before typing out a quick response of 'I'll be there soon.' Shepard had been spending a significant amount of time in Miranda's office as they negotiated what Miranda would tell the Illusive Man and how she would tell him. So far, it hadn't been very productive.

The next message was from Mordin likewise requesting that she come see him at her earliest convenience. Shepard didn't bother to reply to that message; she knew Mordin would find a simple acknowledgement of the request to be unnecessary and a waste of his time. A final message was from Kirrahe letting her know that his team was in place on Fehl Prime. He said he would keep her updated. Shepard responded thanking him and asking him, as a personal favor, to watch James Vega's back. She told him Vega could be a hot head, and she needed him alive and in one piece.

Shepard closed her laptop and stood, stretching her arms above her head to relieve some of her tension. She left her cabin and made her way down to Miranda's office. She tapped on the door and waited for Miranda to tell her to enter before opening the door and stepping inside.

"Commander, thank you for coming. We still have a lot we need to discuss," Miranda said gesturing back towards her couch.

Shepard nodded and followed Miranda back. She sat down and leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees.

"I understand why you don't wish to reveal details about the crew, and honestly it's irrelevant. What about the genophage, though? Why is it necessary to withhold that information?" Miranda asked.

"Think about that, Miranda. For starters, what would you even tell him? And would the Illusive Man – the man who thinks he has nothing but humanity's best interest at heart – be conducive to allowing the krogan population to grow unchecked? Miranda, you know as well as I do that he would find a way to interfere and trust me, any interference could cost us the war," Shepard said.

Miranda leaned back against her chair and settled her hands in between her stomach and her crossed legs.

"And what about his presence on this Crucible you spoke of? What is this Crucible and why can't he know?" Miranda asked.

 _"_ _This isn't good, you shouldn't be telling her anything else,"_ Jane said.

"The Crucible is a weapon, a weapon we don't even have yet and again, he would interfere. Besides for that, how would you explain to him that you knew he was going to be at a particular place in the future?" Shepard said.

 _"_ _Maybe we can wipe her computer? Get rid of the videos and be done with this,"_ Jane said.

"What are the chances she doesn't have them backed up somewhere?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Of course, you're probably right,"_ Jane said.

Miranda rose to her feet and began pacing the area around the couch and her bed. She threw a hand out in the air before letting it slap against her thigh.

"I don't know, Commander! But clearly these are important details and you could be wrong. The Illusive Man is not as bad as you think. He might be willing, and he is certainly able, to help with these things. What then, Shepard? What potential benefits are you ignoring because of your fear of Cerberus?" Miranda asked.

 _"_ _Is she blind?"_ Jane asked.

"Miranda, are you blind? I mean really? How do you not see what Cerberus really is?" Shepard asked.

"Commander, I know that Cerberus has used some extreme tactics on occasion but we get results. You are living, breathing proof of those results!" Miranda said.

"Do you really even know what all Cerberus has done?" Shepard asked.

"Enlighten me, Commander?" Miranda said stopping with her hip cocked and crossed her arms.

Shepard sat back and draped an arm across the back of the couch.

 _"_ _Are you really going to do this? Will it matter?"_ Jane asked.

"Let's start with Akuze. My team died there Miranda, because of Cerberus. Cerberus scientists stood back and watched while my team was attacked by a thresher maw that they set on to them so that they could observe and take notes. Then I find out, years later, that one of my men didn't die right away," Shepard said her voice rising. "He was taken by the scientists who then kept him alive in a lab so they could run tests on him. They fucking injected him with thresher maw venom! That's not even all of it, I'm sure there were more things that Toombs never got the chance to tell me about because the poor man was so damaged psychologically that he slit his own wrist on the Normandy!"

Shepard rose to her feet and advanced on Miranda until she was standing an arm's length away yelling in the other woman's face.

"Or, I know! How about the woman living down under engineering? She was taken away from her family and placed in a secluded facility where she was tortured and experimented on until she was finally strong enough to break free! Just so they could make the ultimate human biotic." Shepard yelled and gestured wildly. "Oh and let's not forget about turning colonies into husks so that they could better understand the process. And of course there's the experiments on other species as well, not that those matter because, hey, they're not human!"

 _"_ _Tell her about David Archer. We can show her David in person,"_ Jane said.

"Did you know that right now, right this very moment there is a poor man in The Phoenix Massing who has been rigged up to a machine so that he can interface with the geth better? I'm talking stripped naked, suspended by wires this thick," Shepard said making a circle out of her fingers to show Miranda the diameter of the wires, "shoved straight through his wrists and arms. Two more several times bigger rammed down his throat! He's got this – this metal brace around his neck with little metal claws digging into his chest, anchoring it to his body and forcing his head back. Little metal claws forcing his eyelids open. You want to know why him? What makes him so special? He's fucking autistic, Miranda! Autistic! That's the kind of shit Cerberus does so don't you stand here and fucking tell me that the ends justify the means. They don't. Not even remotely."

Miranda held her ground unflinching under Shepard's tirade. When Shepard finally wound down enough for Miranda to speak, Miranda pursed her lips.

"Are you done, Commander?" Miranda asked.

"Not even a little, Miranda. Because Cerberus isn't done. That's only a handful of things out of hundreds of others," Shepard said throwing a hand up in the air before turning and sitting back down on the couch.

 _"_ _She doesn't even care,"_ Jane said.

Miranda crossed the floor to take her seat in the chair and watched Shepard quietly. Shepard scrubbed her hands across her face before using them to push her hair back. She looked down at the floor between her feet with her fingers still threaded through her hair. She looked up when she saw Miranda's legs shift.

"I'll need to verify what you're saying… Cerberus is designed in cells so that one cell doesn't know what the other cells are doing. There have been instances where people operating in those cells took matters into their own hands and broke away from the Illusive Man's orders and –," Miranda said.

"Bullshit," Shepard said.

"Excuse me?" Miranda asked.

"You're going to tell me that they did things he didn't know about. That he didn't give the OK to do. It's bullshit. He knows. He always knows. Yeah, maybe sometimes they take things beyond what he told them to do but he knew it was happening and he didn't stop it," Shepard said.

Shepard leaned back against the couch again; her hands clasped in her lap and looked at Miranda with cold eyes.

 _"_ _Dawn, I can see what you're going to say. Are you sure that's wise? I mean really, we don't know yet if this Miranda is going to take the same stance as the other Miranda's. Things have changed, people are different. This could be incredibly bad for us if she doesn't respond the way you're thinking,"_ Jane said.

"I have to try," Shepard thought.

"He's going to start working with your father again," Shepard said quietly, pausing until she knew she had the other woman's undivided attention. "In a facility they'll call Sanctuary on Horizon. Your father and the Illusive Man are going to lure people there when the reapers attack; promising them safety. They're going to turn them into husks to see if they can figure out how to control them. Your sister and her family go there, to Sanctuary. We make it in time to save her, but just think about that."

Shepard stood up and crossed the room. Miranda didn't follow her or call out to her to wait. Shepard left Miranda's office and made her way to the elevator, taking it up to see Mordin. She ran her hands through her hair and leaned her head against the elevator wall. Shepard let out a big sigh followed by a groan. When the elevator was nearing the second deck, she stood up straight and smoothed her hair down before slapping her commander face back into place.

Shepard walked into Mordin's lab and smiled when she saw that Garrus was in there, too.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Shepard asked.

Her smile started to fall when she saw the serious look on Garrus' face.

 _"_ _Something's not right,"_ Jane warned.

"What's wrong?" Shepard asked.

Mordin walked around the table towards Shepard opening his omni-tool as he went. He stopped in front of Shepard and waved the omni-tool in front of her but her eyes were on Garrus. Shepard felt a sudden sharp sting in her neck. She hissed and flinched, her hand moved automatically to her neck and then suddenly a gold light flashed around her and she was frozen. Completely paralyzed as black tendrils of energy licked out around her body. Her eyes darted around, the only thing that could still move, trying to comprehend what had happened. Soon her eyes couldn't move either but she could still see and hear everything that was going on around her.

 _"_ _Oh gods, it's seeker swarm venom. This is what happened to the people on Horizon! What are they doing?! Why are they doing this?"_ Jane demanded.

"I don't know! Shut up, I need to listen. Try to find a way to fight this," Shepard thought.

"Is that really necessary? Couldn't you just explain it to her first?" Garrus asked.

"Completely necessary. Control chips in her skull. Could be activated any moment. Might be activated just by knowledge of chips. Don't know. Too risky to explain first," Mordin said moving into Shepard's range of sight.

 _"_ _Control chips? Miranda never implanted the control chips. She always told us that she had wanted to, but the Illusive Man wouldn't allow it!"_ Jane said.

"Apparently she did this time. That bitch," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Should have killed her. Should have… should never have trusted her. What's he doing? What are they going to do to us?"_ Jane said.

Shepard ignored Jane's rising panic and questions and instead tried to focus on getting her hands to move, her feet to move, anything to move. Mordin scanned her again and looked at his omni-tool before nodding his head.

"Shepard, listen carefully. Very important. Used venom extracted from seeker Cerberus brought to me on Citadel. Used small amount. Effects probably won't last long," Mordin said.

 _"_ _Probably?!"_ Jane screamed.

"Probably? I thought you said this was safe?" Garrus growled at Mordin stalking into Shepard's view.

"Is safe. No collectors here to take her. Worse case she stays like this until I find antidote," Mordin said.

 _"_ _No. No, no, no. We can't stay like this. Make it stop. Oh gods, what are they going to do? Why is he doing this?"_ Jane said.

"You son-of-a-bitch, I should rip your throat out," Garrus snarled.

"Oh, I see. You already have an antidote?" Mordin asked.

Garrus growled and started pacing.

 _"_ _Garrus! Garrus oh gods, please help us!"_ Jane yelled.

"Shepard, anomalies found on scans, understand what they are now. Control chips implanted in your skull. If activated Cerberus will control actions, words, possibly even thoughts. Don't know. Need to remove them right away. Spoke to Garrus about chips first, seems to know you best. Agreed to your surgery. Told me interesting story first. Understand I must use extra anesthesia," Mordin said.

 _"_ _He what? Surgery?! No, no, no. We can't have another surgery. We can't. We can't. It will hurt, oh gods it will hurt. I'll feel it all, please don't do this. Please, please,"_ Jane said.

"Garrus lock the doors. Temporarily deactivated EDI's access to labs. Don't know how long it will last. Must hurry," Mordin said.

Garrus moved to lock the doors before returning to Shepard's side. She could feel him rub a hand gently across her back. Mordin moved to the other side of the room where she couldn't see him, but she could hear him moving things around. Her heart was hammering in her chest.

 _"_ _Please, Garrus, please don't let this happen,"_ Jane begged.

"I'm… I'm sorry, Shepard. I hope I made the right call here. I didn't think you knew, and Mordin said it would be harmful if you found out before he was ready to remove them. I only learned last night… I had to tell him about Jane. After watching those videos… I'm sorry," Garrus whispered to Shepard. "Spirits, I hope this is the right thing. Jane, if you can still hear me in there, we're going to do everything we can to make this hurt as little as possible for you but please, don't fight this."

 _"_ _How could you do this to me?"_ Jane whimpered.

Mordin came back into her field of vision carrying a syringe which he promptly and expertly drove into her vein after wiping the skin with an alcohol swab. Within seconds Shepard felt consciousness slipping away from her.

 _"_ _Don't…,"_ Jane's words faded with Shepard's awareness.

Shepard awoke to the sounds of her own groans. Her eyes blinked trying to clear the blurry haze. Mordin appeared over her, his omni-tool moving up and down her body.

"She awake?" Garrus asked.

Shepard turned her head towards the sound of his voice and blinked her eyes some more. Jane was unusually quiet, the only indication of her presence a sense of disconnected unease.

"Yes, regaining consciousness," Mordin said.

Garrus crossed the labs and stood above Shepard. She reached a hand out towards him but couldn't quite seem to make it go where she wanted it to. Garrus grabbed her wavering hand and held it gently in his own. Her vision slowly started to clear. Mordin tugged at her chin and shone a light in her eyes, Shepard instinctively flinched away from the bright intrusion and felt pain lance through the back of her skull and neck. She groaned in response.

"Shepard, need to check pupillary response. Please be still," Mordin said.

Shepard tried to steel herself for the painful intrusion of light. When the light vanished again, she tried to speak but found her throat too dry to form the words. Mordin handed Garrus a glass of water with a straw before adjusting the bed she was laying on so that she was laying at an incline. Garrus held the straw to her mouth and she took small sips, letting the water sit in her mouth for a few seconds before swallowing it down her parched throat.

"What the hell did you do?" Shepard asked Mordin.

Mordin held a small metal dish out to Shepard, in the bottom sat two small computer chips the size of peas. Shepard reached a hand into the dish and picked one up, bringing it closer to her face to examine. She could just barely make out the small metallic circuitry patterns on the chip but nothing else. She set the chip back in the dish and turned her eyes to Mordin.

"Can put them back if you'd prefer," Mordin said with a grin.

Garrus let out a low growl and Shepard squeezed his hand in response.

"I didn't think it needed to be said, but allow me to make it clear to you: No experimenting on the people aboard the Normandy without their explicit informed consent. You didn't need to use the seeker swarm venom to paralyze me, Mordin," Shepard said. "If it happens again, I'll throw you out of the airlock and find another scientist to deal with the collectors. Clear?"

Mordin smiled and blinked his eyes before saying, "Perfectly."

"Control chips?" Shepard asked.

"Yes," Mordin said.

"Thanks," Shepard said.

"Happy to help. Will save them for further analysis. Provide you with full report when complete," Mordin said.

Shepard carefully turned her head to look at Garrus. He pulled his mandibles in tight and clenched his jaw resolutely, but Shepard could see the worry in his eyes. She rubbed her thumb across the back of his hand.

"It's alright, Garrus. You made the right call," Shepard said.

She could see the tension pour out of him as his mandibles flared wide before coming to rest next to his face once more.

"Is, uh, is Jane alright?" Garrus asked.

"I think so, she's quiet. I think she just wants to be left alone for now, so I'm not going to bother her," Shepard said.

Garrus nodded and said, "You didn't… there wasn't any…"

"Screaming?" Shepard finished for him and he nodded. "Good. How long was I out?"

"Two hours and thirty-five minutes," Mordin supplied.

"No one tried to enter. EDI came back online three times, and I had to shut her off again the way Mordin showed me how. I don't think she's too happy with me right now," Garrus said. "Miranda did this to you?"

"She must have. Although this is the first time as far as I know. She's talked about it before, but always swore that the Illusive Man forbade her from doing it when she suggested the chip. I guess this time… with everything that happened… she decided to take matters into her own hands," Shepard said.

"So the Illusive Man probably doesn't even know?" Garrus asked.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that. I'd be willing to bet money that he knows but didn't stop her. He wanted the chips, but wanted deniability. That's how he operates," Shepard said.

"What are you going to do?" Garrus asked.

"I don't know yet," Shepard said.

"Where's Dr. Chakwas? Why wasn't she involved?" Shepard asked turning slowly to look at Mordin examining one of the chips under a microscope.

"Would have complicated things. Would have insisted on 'informed consent,'" Mordin said making air quotes. "Could have been problematic."

"Alright. No one else needs to know about this for now," Shepard said. "When did you get the seeker?"

"While on Citadel. Cerberus operative delivered it to the labs," Mordin said.

"That was two days ago, why didn't you say anything?" Shepard asked.

"Wanted to run tests first. Confirm authenticity. Extract venom," Mordin said.

"What have you found so far?" Shepard asked.

"Synthetic life form. Tracks victims through electromagnetic field. Venom uses dark energy and electromagnetics to paralyze victims. Need to study scans taken after you were injected," Mordin said.

Mordin crossed back over to Shepard and checked her pupillary response again before performing another scan. He applied medi-gel to the already partially healed incision at the base of her skull. Shepard sighed as the medi-gel numbed the area.

"Had to shave small area. Unnoticeable with hair down. Might increase itching as it heals. Should be fine to stand now," Mordin said.

Shepard slid her legs over the side of the bed next to Garrus. He stepped to the side and out of her way, keeping her hand in his to help steady her and catch her if she started to fall. Shepard pushed off the bed and waited a moment to make sure her head wasn't going to spin before she took a few steps. Other than the dull ache, she felt fine.

"Turn EDI back on. Tell her you were running delicate experiments or something. Be convincing," Shepard said. "I'm going to my cabin, I need to think."

"Shepard?" Mordin called after her.

Shepard stopped and turned slowly to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Would love to hear more about Jane. No experiments, just talk. When you're feeling better," Mordin said.

Shepard bit her lower lip for a second before saying, "Yeah, maybe. Thanks again, Mordin."

"Here, take these with you. Will help with pain. Apply medi-gel as needed," Mordin said.

Shepard accepted a small bottle of pills with directions written on them in Mordin's impressively and surprisingly neat handwriting. Shepard tucked them away into a pocket as Garrus stepped up beside her. She did her best to smile at him but she wasn't feeling it just then. He walked with her out of the tech labs and took the elevator up to her cabin with her.

"I should stay with you, for a while at least," Garrus said.

Shepard responded by bringing his hand to her mouth to kiss the top of his knuckles and led him into her cabin. Shepard locked the door behind her before moving down the steps to settle in on the couch. She pulled off her boots and socks while Garrus got her a glass of water. She swallowed a couple of the pills Mordin had given her before standing back up to pull her shirt off. Garrus' hands caught hold of hers and took over, easing the shirt up slowly and carefully before helping her out of the rest of her clothes.

"I'm pretty sure I can manage that on my own," Shepard said with a chuckle.

"Hmmm. I'm pretty sure you could, too but let me do it anyway," Garrus said sliding her pants down her hips.

Shepard smiled and caressed the back of his head beneath his crest. He purred contentedly as she stepped out of her pants.

"Do you want it all off?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah, I'll put my robe on, it'll be more comfortable. I'm staying in here for the night unless there's an emergency," Shepard said. "Damn, I wish he had let me take a shower first."

Garrus chuffed before reaching up to pull her panties down to the floor.

"You took one this morning," Garrus said.

"Yeah, but that was hours ago. Armor makes me sweaty. I probably stink," she said.

"You don't stink," said Garrus with a chuckle.

"You're just trying to be extra nice since you served me up to the mad scientist on a silver platter," Shepard said.

Garrus' head shot up to look at her face.

"I'm kidding. Too soon?" Shepard asked with a grin.

Garrus stood and pulled Shepard in close to him as he reached around behind her to undo her bra. He pulled her scent in deep and groaned next to her ear.

"You don't stink. You smell… incredible. If you weren't wounded, I'd have you on that bed by now screaming my name. Spirits I love when you scream my name," Garrus said with a purr.

Shepard groaned as his voice tugged at her. It was something that no other man had ever been able to accomplish with something so simple. He slid the straps of her bra down off of her shoulders and stepped back from her, stooping to gather up the rest of her clothes and take them to the laundry chute.

"Empty the pockets first. The drive is in there," Shepard said.

Garrus stopped at her desk to rifle through her pockets and lay the contents down next to her laptop before dropping the clothes in the chute. He stepped inside the bathroom and grabbed her robe off of the hook just inside the door before returning to her. He held the robe open for her while she slid her arms inside before tying it at her waist. Garrus moved about the room dimming the lights and pulling back the covers on her bed. He set her stereo to play some soft music, and brought her laptop to the bedside table along with her glass of water and bottle of pills.

Garrus stripped out of his armor, setting it down on the couch next to Shepard before he led her to the bed. He settled the extra pillows she requisitioned after their first night together on the SR-2 around himself to provide the support he needed before opening his arms up to her. Shepard crawled into the bed beside him, dragging the laptop along with her and snuggled into the crook of his arm.

"How are you feeling?" Garrus asked.

"Not as bad as you might imagine. All the upgrades Cerberus added do a lot to speed my healing time and curb my pain sensors. They got to keep me on my feet and fighting, after all," Shepard said.

"I don't know anyone else who would take this as calmly as you are," he said.

"Trust me; I very much want to go knock Miranda's teeth down her throat right now. It wouldn't solve anything though and right now the cards are in my hands. I need to choose the right time to play them," Shepard said.

"Humans have too many metaphors," Garrus mused.

"Maybe turians just don't have enough," Shepard said.

"Hmmm. Maybe. So, we're not killing Miranda and you aren't knocking her teeth down her throat. What are you thinking?" Garrus asked.

"Use the chips against her. Convince her to back off on pressing for the release of information to the Illusive Man, if I haven't already convinced her. I was in her office before I came to see what Mordin wanted," Shepard said.

"How'd that go?" he asked.

"I yelled at her a lot, told her some things she didn't really want to hear. Gave her something to think about and walked out," Shepard said. "She's probably down there in her cabin now cracking into Cerberus records trying to find a way to prove me wrong. If she is, then I pity her because she is in for a rude awakening."

"And if she has this 'rude awakening'?" Garrus asked.

"Miranda isn't stupid, not by a long shot. When she has the evidence staring her in her face, she'll accept reality. I suspect that she'll be ready to hunt the Illusive Man down herself by morning," Shepard said.

"Really? You think she'll go after him?" Garrus asked.

"Maybe. But I'll discourage her from doing it alone. I know where he's at, if she's really intent on it, I'll take her there myself. Gods only know what all that will change, but I don't see anything but good coming from removing that man from this galaxy permanently," Shepard said. "Maybe that's too optimistic of me. If anything I should know by now that the universe seems to love fucking with me more than anything else. Maybe he's right, if I take him out of the equation someone new will just step in to fill the slot. Maybe someone far worse."

"Unless you choose who that person is," Garrus said.

Shepard shifted to look up at him and then winced when it put pressure on her incision.

"Ow! Damn it. I hadn't thought of that before. You're right. You are absolutely right. That's brilliant. Just like with the Shadow Broker, take him out and replace him with one of my own. Someone I trust and who will use that power to help in the war instead of trying to fuck everything up," Shepard said.

"What do you mean 'just like with the Shadow Broker'?" Garrus asked.

Shepard stared at the wall for a moment before answering, "Liara. She would have replaced the Shadow Broker. I would have gone with her to take him down and she… she would have slid right into the roll effortlessly. Like magic, one asshole Shadow Broker gone and a miracle worker in his place."

"You miss her a lot. I'm sorry, Dawn," Garrus said rubbing her arm.

"Yeah. I really do. I miss all of them. I tried so hard to change things, to keep everyone alive but instead I fucked things up and lost even more… thought I'd lost you, even though you were still standing in front of me. That hurt the most. When I woke up, you were all I could think about. Then when I found you and you just… put me aside… I'm sorry, I think the pills are getting to me," Shepard said.

"Get some sleep, Shepard. I'm not going anywhere," Garrus said putting her laptop on the table next to him and pulling her in closer.

Shepard let out a sigh and let her eyes close. Within seconds she was drifting away into a drug hazed sleep. Shepard awoke two hours later, she had rolled over in her sleep and tried to lie on her back but it made her healing incision throb. Garrus was still there with her, checking his messages on her laptop. He helped her apply more medi-gel to the cut and she went back to sleep.

The next morning, between the medi-gel and her implants, the wound was nothing more than a tender scar. Garrus was still sleeping next to her so she lay there quietly and watched him. Eventually she gave into the demands of her bladder and tiptoed to the bathroom to relieve herself before turning on the shower. She didn't let the water get as hot as she normally liked it because she knew from experience that scalding water on a still healing wound did not feel nice.

"Jane?" Shepard whispered aloud.

 _"_ _I'm still here,"_ Jane said quietly.

"Are you OK?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I'm… I'm confused,"_ Jane said.

Shepard stepped into the shower stall and leaned forward, crossing her arms against the wall to rest her head on them. The water poured down her back without hitting her head too much.

"Did it hurt?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _No… just pressure and sounds,"_ Jane said.

"Well that's good, right?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Yeah… good. Why did I feel so much with Miranda and Wilson? What did Mordin do differently? Why did Miranda put the chips in this time? Where did she even get them, before she always made it sound like a vague idea she had pitched to the Illusive Man. It wasn't something she had readily available to use. I don't understand. Is this my fault? Did she do this because I was talking? Were the other times a lie and they were always really there? If so, why weren't they noticed? Were they used? Were our actions our own? Could this be why we keep coming back?"_ Jane's words came out in a flood, one idea spurring on the next.

Shepard shook her head gently and said, "I don't know, Jane. I'm sorry. They're out now, though."

 _"_ _Yeah…,"_ Jane said before fading into the background once more.

Two minutes later she heard Garrus enter the bathroom and after using the toilet himself, he stepped into the shower behind her. She smiled as his hands wrapped around her and his chest pressed against her back.

"You're stealing all my water," Shepard said.

"Hmmm. Needs to be hotter," Garrus said.

"Don't think my head would like that much right now," Shepard said.

Garrus pulled away from her enough to gently push her hair out of the way and look at the area that Mordin had sliced into.

"Looks good. Does it still hurt?" he asked sliding his arm back around her waist.

"It's a little tender," Shepard said.

Garrus nipped at her neck and ran his hands along her waist and thighs before he said, "Hmmm. That's too bad."

"Did I say tender? I meant it doesn't hurt at all," Shepard said arching her back.

"Is that right?" Garrus asked moving his hands to explore her more sensitive areas.

Shepard gasped and turned around to wrap her arms around his neck, pressing her mouth to his.

An hour later and they were dressed and headed towards the mess hall. Shepard had slept through eating dinner and her stomach was viciously tearing itself apart as a reminder. Miranda was sitting at one of the tables drinking a cup of tea. A demolished muffin sat on a plate in front of her as she stared at it with a frown. She glanced up when Shepard and Garrus slid into the bench across from her.

"Commander. Good morning," Miranda said forcing away whatever thoughts were troubling her moments ago and plastering a smile on her face.

"Miranda. Not fond of the muffins, I see," Shepard said.

Garrus watched Miranda with a cold stare. Shepard could tell that he wanted nothing more than to lunge across the table and rip the woman's throat out but he restrained himself. Shepard retuned her gaze to Miranda who was looking at the muffin as if it might provide her with some insight.

"No, the muffin is fine. I'm just… tired. I was up late last night and had trouble sleeping," Miranda said.

"Something to do with our talk yesterday?" Shepard asked raising an eyebrow.

"Indeed. We should talk later, when you're free," Miranda said standing up and taking her breakfast with her she returned to her office.

With Miranda gone, Shepard turned her attention to Garrus.

"So, what did you guys find out about the names on that list?" Shepard asked.

"So far we've been unable to trace two of them, Braden Ross and Terlus Cantis. We think that they must be aliases. I'm still working on it. There was another that linked to Binary Helix, Sarah Fairfield. The last, Bathele Namri, is one that has been known to make trades with the collectors in the past," Garrus said.

"Binary Helix? What the hell would they want with me? You know, I don't think I really want to know," Shepard said. "Do you know the location of Fairfield or Namri?"

"I do, Fairfield is on Noveria. She took over the facilities after you killed Benezia and destroyed the hot labs. Namri is on Omega," Garrus said.

"Alright, we'll work them in when we can," Shepard said.

"I'll let you know when I find something on the others. The Shadow Broker is still the most alarming. If he's after you, Shepard, he isn't going to give up. He has agents everywhere," Garrus said.

"I know. We'll deal with him, too," Shepard said.

Garrus watched her quietly for a minute before nodding his head and turning back to his breakfast. When they were finished, Garrus made his way to the main battery while Shepard went to suit up. She had EDI inform Mordin and Jack that they would be going with her groundside and to send a driver for the shuttle for this one. Twenty minutes later she went to the shuttle to find Garrus waiting with the others. She smirked but didn't comment. They piled in the shuttle and waited for the hangar door to open.

They hangar opened and the driver, a Cerberus member of the crew named Robert Dickens, maneuvered the shuttle out of the hangar and down towards Korlus. Dickens was one of many of the Cerberus crew who had dodged Shepard's attempts to get to know him and truth be told, she was fine with that. She did however know that his family had been taken by the collectors in one of the earlier attacks on a human colony. It seemed like a lot of those chosen to serve on the Normandy had lost people to the collectors. It made sense that they would be chosen, or volunteer to serve on the ship that was tasked with taking the collectors down.

The shuttle landed amidst the wreckage of what was once a city. Skeletal frames from destroyed buildings dotted the landscape. Hills of crumbled concrete and jagged pieces of metal littered the ground. Shepard and her team emptied out of the shuttle and took cover behind a fallen metal pillar while the shuttle took off back into the air to return to the Normandy.

Jedore's voice could be heard over the loudspeaker saying, "There is only one measure of success: Kill or be killed! Perfection is your goal."

"I already want to kill this person," Jack said.

"Well, if you're lucky you'll get your chance," Shepard said. "Weapons out, people."

She moved her team forward through the debris. As they were approaching a flight of stairs, Shepard gave orders to stay low and seek cover. She moved up the stairs and ducked behind a metal barricade while firing on the handful of Blue Suns mercs ahead. Mordin used his incinerate to light one of them on fire and the man's screams echoed off the metal sheeting along the path. Jack used her biotics to pull one of the mercs out into the open and Garrus finished him off. His body fell back to the ground with a soft thud on the other side of Shepard's cover.

They moved forward up the metal ramp and Shepard paused where Jane's memories said she should find a wounded merc to pump for information. Instead she found a very dead merc taken down with a clean headshot. Probably Garrus' kill, Shepard decided. She moved on, it didn't matter she already knew everything the man would have told her though it was something she had wanted Mordin to hear.

They rounded a corner past a dead krogan and Shepard dove for cover, her team doing the same. Blue Suns fired on them from a balcony across the way, ducking behind the safeguard in between shots. It didn't do them a lot of good facing biotics able to pull them off of the balcony to float around helplessly while being shot at. Moving down and around the corner more mercs showed themselves on catwalks. Shepard growled in frustration as she ducked down behind cover and used her reave to suck the life right out of one of the mercs. It seemed so foolish to her, the way they kept lining themselves up to be shot down.

Shepard kept her team moving forward, from cover to cover taking down mercs as they threw themselves at her. She had to stop once to get Jack back on her feet. Sometimes Shepard was amazed that Jack managed to stay alive without armor but then she would catch the powerful displays of biotic destruction that Jack was capable of and realized that she stayed alive by making sure her enemies died before she did. It was that simple.

They rounded a corner and Shepard spotted a krogan firing at mercs on a balcony. She motioned to her team to provide the krogan with support, sending Mordin and Garrus towards the krogan while she and Jack provided covering fire. Once the last Blue Suns fell from the balcony, Shepard moved over to talk to the tank-bred krogan. The krogan turned towards Shepard and walked slowly over to her. Her team raised their weapons and Shepard raised a hand to halt their fire. The krogan leaned in close to Shepard, smelling her through his breather helmet.

"You are… different. New. You don't smell like this world. Seven night cycles, and I have felt only the need to kill. But you… something makes me speak," the krogan said backing away from Shepard.

While Jack and Mordin discussed the krogan's declaration that he was only a week old, Garrus moved up next to Shepard.

"Can you show us to Okeer?" Garrus asked the krogan.

"The voice, "Father". Yes, he is in the lab past more of you weak, fleshy things," the krogan answered Garrus question, but directed it at Shepard.

"Listen, I know that you've been told to stay here but Okeer isn't going to be here much longer and you're going to be left on your own. Just you and whatever others like you that have survived. What will you do?" Shepard asked as concern for the unstable krogan settled in around her.

Mordin opened his scanner and waved it in front of the krogan. He muttered to himself while he reviewed the results.

"I will stay here until released. This is my purpose," the krogan said as he turned away.

Shepard followed after him and watched as the krogan picked up a thick metal sheet that acted as part of a wall and threw it aside, opening the path for her and her team.

"But how will you know when you are released if Okeer isn't here to tell you?" Shepard asked.

"I don't know. I know that I must stay here and fight until then. I failed; I was not perfect and so removed from glass-mother. I must stay here and survive, resist, ignore. That is my purpose now," the krogan said.

Shepard heaved a sigh and shook her head. Garrus put a hand on her shoulder.

"Alright. Thank you," Shepard said before leading her team through the opening.

"Physically fit, mentally unstable. What is Okeer attempting to accomplish? Genophage still present in krogan. Krogan numbers not a concern. Wouldn't send them out here to die," Mordin said.

Shepard glanced back at Mordin over her shoulder and said, "He's trying to create the perfect krogan. The ones out here weren't perfect, so he cast them aside. They're being used as target practice. Just one of the many desperate ways that the krogans have sought to reclaim the heritage the genophage stole from them."

"Genophage was necessary. Krogan population out of control. Threat to entire galactic stability. Krogan uplifted, given technology and knowledge before their time. Genophage correction of that mistake," Mordin said.

"Action was necessary, but I don't agree that the genophage was the only or even the best course of action. The krogan have suffered greatly because of the genophage, Mordin. Something could have been done to help them rectify the situation since the Krogan Rebellions," Shepard said.

 _"_ _You need to talk to him about his work on the genophage. It's important. I think out conversations help him to see the damage done. Of course, Eve really drives the point home just by being there but I think our talks are important,"_ Jane said.

More mercs rounded the corner at the bottom of the ramp and started firing, ending the conversation for the time being. The only cover was at the bottom of the ramp so they worked together to take the mercs out swiftly before charging down the ramp. More tank-bred krogans were in this area, they did not discriminate between the mercs and Shepard's team as the last one had. Shepard switched to her shotgun and loaded it with her incendiary ammo. Jack used a shockwave to push the krogans back, it didn't topple them the way it would a human but it helped keep them from charging. Garrus used his concussive shots to take out the shields on as many krogan as he could before Shepard hit them with a couple of shotgun blasts. When a wounded krogan got a little too close to the edge of the platforms, Shepard used her biotic charge and knocked them off to fall the several stories to the ground below.

Fighting through berserk krogans was grueling work but luckily they weren't organized and her team was. They slowly pushed their way forward over the maze-like platform bridges laid over the looming chasms, connecting the scattered pieces of solid ground. Jedore's voice boomed orders over the loudspeaker warning Shepard of the next wave of mercs before they arrived.

They pushed forward up a ramp where Garrus hacked through the security on a closed door. Sounds of gunfire and mercs yelling through their mics could be heard as Shepard led them up two more ramps. Jack and Mordin cleared the room at the top of the ramps of anything valuable before moving to cover. Shepard pressed her back to the door frame and hit the door controls. As soon as the door slid open, her team started firing on the mercs just on the other side. Shepard checked to see that their side was clear before moving forward to duck down behind the metal railing of the balcony outside the door.

More mercs fired at them from the balcony across the way. Garrus took one down with a headshot before moving out to follow Shepard. Jack pulled one from the balcony and Mordin set him on fire while he floated in the air. A few more shots and the mercs were all down. Shepard moved her team down the walkway to the next door. Diving in the room she drew enemy fire to her position while her team took cover. She used her charge to close the distance, slamming into one of the mercs and knocking him back before ending his life with her shotgun. Shepard pressed her back to the wall and continued to fire from cover. Mordin used his cryoblast tech to snap-freeze a merc. Garrus shot the frozen merc, shattering him into pieces. More mercs filed out of the door, firing rocket launchers as Shepard pushed forward, claiming ground and taking cover.

When the last merc was dead, Shepard moved to the door and up more ramps to other merc filled rooms. Turian, batarian, human; it didn't matter. They all fell just the same under the punishment that Shepard's team dealt. Shepard kept them moving forward, taking out every Blue Suns merc that stood in their way. Shepard hit that area of battle haze where she stopped thinking and was moving on instinct alone. Her instinct, Jane's memories, they blended together becoming one as she moved from room to room, ramp to ramp, platform to platform. Shepard only stopped to check her team, making sure that injuries were slathered with medi-gel when required and to let them scour rooms for tech and supplies.

When finally they reached Okeer in his labs, Shepard put her gun away. She ignored Okeer's greeting and send her team to secure the door and gather what they could from the room. Shepard walked up to the large tank next to Okeer and put her hand on the glass. Fully grown, and fully armored, Grunt slept in the tank surrounded by some liquid acting as amniotic fluid for the krogan. Okeer watched Shepard with confusion before approaching the tank next to her.

"My legacy. Perfect in every way. Not that you can appreciate that, Shepard," Okeer said.

Shepard glanced at Okeer and said, "Here's where you tell me all about how every krogan knows me because of my actions on Virmire, right?"

Okeer chuckled, a deep, gravely sound completely void of humor.

"Indeed, we do. But you did the right thing on Virmire," said Okeer. "Those whelps Saren was creating were not true krogan. They would have stained the krogan, spreading their inferiority though numbers. My work here will renew the krogan, not just restoring us to our glory of days of old but raising our entire species beyond what we ever could have hoped to be with the Council's 'uplifting'. My legacy will purify the krogan; the genophage will be obsolete, ignored."

Mordin approached the tank and opened his omni-tool, preparing to scan Grunt. Okeer moved over and shoved Mordin back.

"And you bring a salarian turian with you? Do you think to insult me with their presence, Shepard?" Okeer said staring Mordin down.

Jack and Garrus raised their weapons, leveling them at the pissed off old krogan. Mordin stood his ground, blinking in boredom.

"I quite honestly don't give a damn if you're insulted or not, Okeer. I'm not here to stroke your ego but to recruit you. The collectors are abducting human colonies, but soon enough they'll move to other species. We're going to stop them, and we could use your help," Shepard said. "Though your help is secondary to the safety of my team, I suggest you not put your hands on one of mine again unless you want to lose them."

Okeer swung his giant head in Shepard's direction, weighing her with his golden eyes. A smirk spread across the warlord's mouth and he chuckled.

"Perhaps you do understand krogan, Shepard," Okeer said turning his back on Mordin.

Mordin stepped back towards the tank and completed his scan, utterly ignoring Okeer's glare.

"I've heard of these abductions. My attention, of course, was turned elsewhere. I might have information for you on the collectors. I've traded with them, many krogans for technology that was used to create my legacy; my template of krogan perfection. First, you must get me and my prototype out of here. Jedore has grown impatient and frustrated by her own inability to take charge of the krogan I have given her," Okeer said.

Jedore's voice came over the intercom and said, "Attention! I have traced the krogan release. Okeer, of course. I'm calling 'blank-slate' on this project. Gas these commandos and start over from Okeer's data. Flush the tanks!"

Gas began venting into the room and Okeer scrambled to secure Grunt's tank. Shepard was already moving her team towards the far door, already knowing what needed to be done when Okeer spoke.

"Weak-willed human! Shepard, you want my help then stop her! She'll be in the storage bay with the rejected tanks," Okeer barked.

"I'm on it," Shepard said leaving Okeer to scramble at his console.

She ushered her team down the ramps and into the storage bay. She rushed in and took cover behind an incubation tank, signaling her team to do the same. Jedore stood across the room next to an inactive YMIR mech. Tanks started to open and one by one the tank-bred berserkers rushed Shepard's team. The YMIR rose to its full height and started firing rockets across the room, slowly making its way towards Shepard. She switched to her ML-77 Missile Launcher and focused on the YMIR mech, relying on her team to keep the krogan off of her.

When the YMIR exploded, she quickly switched back to her shotgun and charged at the nearest closing krogan knocking him back before firing her shotgun into his chest. Shepard moved past him, dodging another krogan to get into a position of cover where she could fire on Jedore. Her team worked together to take care of the krogan before vying for positions to help Shepard finish off Jedore. Shepard didn't make it easy for them, though, because she used her charge to close in on Jedore and stayed in the woman's face, keeping her off balance and removing her ability to use her rocket launcher. The Blue Suns commander was not nearly the match she thought she would be for Shepard and her crew.

Alarms started to blare from upstairs where Okeer's lab was. EDI's voice came through Shepard's mic telling her that the alarms were due to a systems failure. Okeer's life signs were fading and the room was filled with toxins. Shepard moved her team back up the ramps to Okeer's labs, already knowing what she would find when she got there. The door opened up to reveal Okeer's body slumped on the floor and a video recording playing on his console.

"You gave me time, Shepard. If I knew why the collectors wanted humans I would tell you," the video image of Okeer said.

"Damn," Jack said.

"Loss of warlord unexpected. Still, his prototype could be useful. Contains collector tech, could retrieve some of the tech with simple procedures," Mordin began.

"No. That's not happening. He's coming with us and we're letting him out of that tank once we get him back on the Normandy," Shepard said.

Shepard went over to Okeer's console and turned to the others before saying, "See what data you can find. Take anything that even remotely looks useful."

"But everything is in my prototype. My legacy is pure. This… one soldier, this grunt. Perfect," Okeer said on the video.

"Suggest leaving it, if not going to use it for research. Could be unstable, dangerous," Mordin said.

"He's not, we're taking him with us," Shepard said.

"How do you know?" Jack asked.

Shepard looked at Jack and said, "I just do."

"Right. Whatever. Makes fuck of a difference to me," said Jack.

"Why not let him out now?" Garrus asked.

Shepard considered it for a moment and shrugged before tapping a few buttons on the console. The hydraulic lifts supporting the tank began to move, lowering it to the ground and setting it upright. The liquid supporting Grunt began to flush from the tank into the slots in the floor beneath him. Grunt opened his big blue eyes and they locked on Shepard.

"Move back, and stay out of it. I've got this," Shepard said to the others.

Garrus hesitated only for a heartbeat before stepping back with the others. The tank opened and Grunt stumbled out, landing on his knees as he coughed the fluid from his lungs. He rose to his feet with speed and slammed Shepard against the wall. She expected the action, and braced herself for the impact, making sure her still healing head didn't slam into the wall as well. She had her helmet on and it would have absorbed some of the impact, but she didn't want to push it and give herself a headache if not a concussion. Shepard's pistol was wedged between her and the krogan. Grunts forearm pushed against her collarbone, pinning her to the wall. His eyes slid away from her to take in the other three in the room before turning his penetrating gaze back to Shepard.

"Human females. Turian male. Salarian male. Before I kill you all, I need a name," he said.

Garrus and Jack raised their guns, Mordin ran fingers over his omni-tool preparing combat tech to use against the krogan. Shepard raised her free hand towards her crew. Hesitantly they lowered their weapons but kept them out.

"Grunt. Your name is Grunt," Shepard said.

"Grunt. Yes, it has no meaning. Okeer's words were hollow, his imprint meaningless without a connection to me, he failed. Many words he spoke, warlord, legacy, grunt. Grunt will do. You command these others. Prove yourself worthy of that command and try to destroy me," Grunt said.

"No. Fight with me instead, Grunt. Not against me. I fight worthy enemies, enemies you will be proud to destroy," Shepard said.

"If you prove yourself weak, if your enemies are weak, I'll have to kill you," Grunt said.

"If you decide I'm weak, you're welcome to try," Shepard said tapping the pistol against his armor.

Grunt looked down at the gun and started laughing before he told Shepard, "Ha! Wise of you. Offer one hand but arm the other. I will fight for you for now. Perhaps someday I will have a clan of my own and I will be honored to pit them against you, human."

Grunt released Shepard and she put her pistol away.

"I am Commander Shepard, this is Garrus, Mordin, and Jack," Shepard said.

"I can smell the turian on you. You are his mate," Grunt said.

Shepard offered him a lopsided smile as Jack laughed raucously. She touched her mic and let Joker know they were ready for pickup. She turned back to Grunt and indicated Okeer's body.

"He died making sure he could save you. Do you want to bury him or anything?" Shepard asked.

Grunt walked over to Okeer and rolled his corpse over to look at the old krogan's face.

"He was weak. Leave him for the scavengers," Grunt said.

"Alright," Shepard said stepping over Okeer's corpse.

Shepard downloaded Okeer's files before turning back to the group.

"Shuttle should be here shortly, let's get down there," Shepard said.

She led them back down to the nearest area the shuttle could land and waited for it to drop out of the sky. It was a little tight with the four of them plus Grunt, so Shepard climbed in the passenger seat for the ride. She glanced back over her shoulder to see Grunt engaged in a staring contest with the Mordin and Garrus. Jack sat with her head leaning against the shuttle wall and her eyes closed like she really couldn't care less about the big krogan sitting across from her.

The shuttle flew inside of the Normandy and the hangar door closed behind them. Once the air pressure was normalized, Shepard hopped out of the passenger seat and opened the doors for those in the back. Grunt lumbered out of the shuttle and looked around the hangar before turning to watch the others climb out behind him.

"EDI, please ask the rest of the crew to meet in the comm room in five," Shepard said.

"Right away, Shepard," EDI replied.

"Come on, Grunt. I've got to introduce you to everyone and then I'll take you somewhere to set up, alright?" Shepard asked.

Grunt shrugged his massive shoulders and rolled his head around on his neck before saying, "OK. Got anything to eat around here?"

"Yeah, we'll get you something right after the meeting. It'll be brief," Shepard said.

They crossed the hangar and made their way up to the comm room. Miranda and Jacob were already waiting, Zaeed and Grundan Krul walked in right after Shepard with Legion not far behind. Shepard glanced around the room.

"Where's Kasumi?" she asked.

"I'm right here!" Kasumi said dropping her tactical cloak and appearing right behind Jacob.

"My apologies, Dr. Okeer, but we expected someone much… older," Jacob said in confusion.

"He's not Okeer," Shepard said.

"Oh. Well, where's Okeer?" Jacob asked.

"Dead," Grunt said.

Jacob raised an eyebrow.

"Okeer was growing krogans in tanks; he was attempting to create a pure, perfect krogan. Grunt here is the accumulation of his experiments. Okeer gave his life to make sure Grunt lived. Grunt agreed to join us," Shepard said simplifying the story.

Miranda crossed her arms, "What can he offer us? We wanted Okeer because of the knowledge he possessed."

"Okeer's dead, Miranda. There was nothing we could do. He was working with a Blue Suns commander, a Jedore, and she decided he wasn't worth her time anymore. Grunt here will prove to be an asset, I assure you," Shepard said.

Miranda pursed her lips and nodded her head in understanding.

"OK, the krogan's hungry so unless one of you wants to be his first meal I suggest we make introductions quick and get him something to eat," Shepard said.

Grunt's chuckle brought a smile to Shepard's face. She pointed to Miranda first.

"Miranda Lawson. Commander Shepard's second in command," Miranda said.

"Jacob Taylor," Jacob said offering his hand and then dropping it when Grunt stared at it in confusion.

"Kasumi Goto," Kasumi said with a flourish and a light bow.

"Grundan Krul," the batarian said with a nod.

"Zaeed. You don't need to know my goddamn last name," Zaeed said.

Shepard sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Good, I don't want to know your goddamn last name," Grunt replied.

"You've met Mordin, Jack, and Garrus. This is Legion," Shepard said stepping to the side to indicate the geth half hidden behind her.

The plating around Legion's optics fluttered and he said, "Greetings."

"EDI?" Shepard said.

EDI's blue hologram popped up in the middle of the table.

"Yes, Shepard?" EDI asked.

"Introduce yourself, EDI," Shepard said.

"Hello, Grunt. I am EDI, it is short for Enhanced Defense Intelligence. You may access any of my nodes spread throughout the ship if you are in need of assistance or have any questions," EDI said.

Grunt eyed everyone in the room, clearly unsure of how to look intimidating to EDI's hologram and nodded.

"Can we eat now?" Grunt asked.

Shepard chuckled and led him to the mess hall. Mess Sergeant Gardner's eyes bulged in his head when Shepard presented him with Grunt.

"Gardner, meet Grunt. He's hungry, get him something, please. He's going to eat about three to four times as much as even Kasumi does," Shepard said.

"Hey! You can't blame a girl for liking to eat. Being a thief is hard work, you know," Kasumi said appearing beside Grunt.

Grunt turned his head to look at the petite human woman before saying, "She's so tiny. She can't eat that much."

Shepard and Gardner both laughed. Kasumi pretended to pout. Gardner turned towards the refrigerated stasis chamber and began pulling food out. Shepard waited for Grunt to be settled down at a table filling his stomach before heading to her cabin to change. She came back down a few minutes later and Grunt was still shoveling food into his mouth so she stepped over and knocked on Miranda's cabin door.

Shepard walked in when invited and settled into a chair across from Miranda's desk. She steepled her fingers and waited for Miranda to gather her thoughts.

"I did some research. I… wasn't able to verify everything you said, and of course there was no way to verify the things that haven't happened yet…," Miranda said.

"And what did you find?" Shepard asked.

"Shepard, I owe you an apology," Miranda said.

Shepard raised an eyebrow.

"You were right. About Cerberus, about the Illusive Man. I found far more than I bargained for and I can't believe that I never even thought to look that closely before. I should have been more willing to listen to you, I should have taken your warnings seriously. I'm sorry," Miranda said.

"Now that you have this information, the question is, what are you going to do with it, Miranda?" Shepard asked.

She wanted to demand that she admit to the damn control chips and apologize for those, but she kept that to herself for now. Miranda got up from her chair and started pacing the room. Her fingertips worried at her hairline as she thought.

"I don't know. What can I do? We're talking about a secret organization here with a reach even further than either of us is likely to know… and right now, we need Cerberus to stop the collectors," Miranda said.

"So we use what we can for now, and when we come across something that we can stop, we do," Shepard offered.

 _"_ _That's it? I thought you wanted to go kill the Illusive Man?"_ Jane asked.

"I do, but I don't want to rush this. If I push her too much, I could lose her," Shepard thought.

Miranda turned towards Shepard and nodded her head before saying, "I... I don't know, Shepard. I need to think about this. I wanted to tell you though; you don't need to worry about the videos. I'm not sending anything to the Illusive Man and your secrets are safe."

 _"_ _That's unexpected. I didn't think she'd cooperate. Ask her about the chips,"_ Jane said.

"Not yet," Shepard thought.

"Thank you, Miranda," Shepard said.

"Yes, of course. Before you leave… I need to ask you for something," Miranda said.

"About your sister?" Shepard asked rising to her feet.

"Yes," Miranda said.

"Contact's on Illium?" Shepard asked.

"Right. It shouldn't take a lot of time, I just want to make sure –," Miranda said.

Shepard held up a hand to halt her before saying, "It's alright Miranda. We'll help Oriana. We've got to go to Illium soon anyway. The Illusive Man should be forwarding me more dossiers soon, two of which are located on Illium. We've got time. For now, just report to the Illusive Man as usual. Let him know about Grunt, and Okeer's death."

"Yes, of course. Thank you, Shepard," Miranda said.

Shepard nodded her head and left Miranda's office to grab something to eat herself. Gardner had a tray ready for her, piled high with thick slices of fried ham and eggs. Shepard thanked him and carried the tray over to sit across from Grunt. She used her fork to cut off a piece of ham and put it in her mouth while watching the krogan rip into a hunk of ham with hands and teeth alone. He studied her while he barely chewed his food, swallowing most of it whole.

"Do you have any questions?" Shepard asked in between bites.

"When do we start killing things?" Grunt asked around the food in his mouth.

"Quite likely at our next destination," Shepard said.

"Good," Grunt said and that was that.

Shepard cleaned her plate and waited for Grunt to finally finish his before walking with him back over to Gardner to deliver their used dishes to the Mess Sergeant. She then led Grunt to the elevator and down to the engineering deck to the port cargo. EDI unlocked the door for them and Shepard hit the controls to open the door before leading Grunt inside.

"This will be your area. We'll get you a cot set up if you like, and you can store your belongings in here. This room is normally cargo, so from time to time you may need to allow others to enter to store or retrieve something but it shouldn't be a common occurrence. Otherwise, you're free to check out the rest of the ship and the meet everyone onboard," Shepard said.

Grunt looked around the room for a minute before asking, "Can I move things around?"

"Sure, as long as it isn't bolted down or going to break anything. If you aren't sure, EDI can tell you what's safe to move," Shepard said.

"EDI, the blue thing," Grunt said.

"Yeah, she's an AI," Shepard said.

"Like the geth you called Legion," Grunt said.

"Yeah. That a problem for you?" Shepard asked.

"Not unless they make themselves problems for me," Grunt said.

"Good, glad to hear it. I'll leave you to get settled in. I'm going back up to the CIC to set course for our next destination," Shepard said turning to leave.

"What's Cerberus?" Grunt asked.

Shepard halted in her tracks and turned back to face the young krogan. She leaned a hip against the wall and crossed her arms.

"Cerberus is a secretive human organization. They claim to only want to look after humanity's interests, but many of their methods are deplorable. I am not a fan of Cerberus. Unfortunately, right now, they're the only ones who can give me what I need to take down the collectors. Consider it a temporary alliance," Shepard said.

Grunt nodded his head thoughtfully but didn't say anything else. Shepard waited a couple of minutes before heading towards the door once more.

"If you have anything else you want to ask me, come find me or ask EDI to notify me and I'll come see you when I'm free," Shepard said as she left the port cargo.

Back at the galaxy map, Shepard entered the coordinates for Gellix. She needed to know that Talitha was alright and having the chance this life, she was going to see if she could put a dent in Cerberus' indoctrination efforts. Shepard closed the map and made her way to the elevator, taking it up to her cabin.

Shepard had barely settled into her desk chair when EDI's hologram activated.

"Ms. Vael has entered your cabin as her destination on the elevator. Shall I allow her in?" EDI asked.

"Yes, EDI. Thanks," Shepard said.

A minute later the cabin door slid open and the young quarian stepped hesitantly inside. Shepard stood up from her desk and gestured towards the stairs that led to her couch.

"Hey, Lia. Come on in, have a seat," Shepard said.

"Oh, uh, OK. Thanks," Lia said moving down into the private areas of the cabin.

Shepard settled down on the couch across from Lia.

"Did you figure out where you wanted to go?" Shepard asked.

"Well, about that… I was wondering if… that is if it wouldn't be too much trouble… I'd really like to stay on the Normandy for a while," Lia said.

Shepard leaned back against the cushions and studied the nervous quarian.

 _"_ _Oh don't act like you didn't see that coming,"_ Jane said.

"What about your Pilgrimage?" Shepard asked.

"I don't know, honestly. I just… I like it here and I really like being able to talk to Legion. Everyone has been so nice to me and… maybe I could help out somehow. Legion is teaching me about code and hacking, and Dr. Chakwas is teaching me about medicine so maybe I can even go on a mission sometime," Lia said hopefully.

Shepard smiled and said, "Tali's going to kill me for this. Alright, Lia. You're welcome to stay as long as you like. Who knows, maybe we'll find something for your Pilgrimage. You need to know though, and I mean really, really know that this is going to be dangerous. You could be hurt or killed."

Lia perked up and nodded her head rapidly saying, "Oh, thank you! I know, I mean, I understand the dangers involved and I promise that I will do whatever you say and… oh, thank you!"

Shepard laughed at her enthusiasm and waved her off.

"Go on, go tell everyone you're staying," Shepard said.

Lia all but raced from the cabin and Shepard settled back in at her desk. She opened the laptop and reviewed her messages. There was already one from the Illusive Man commenting on Shepard's decision to bring Grunt along in Okeer's place but stating that it was her call. New dossiers for Thane and Samara were attached to a second message from the Illusive Man. Shepard nibbled at her lip. Normally she would receive a dossier for Tali at the same time. She knew where Tali was through, and she knew Tali was doing what she needed to do. She would see her friend again soon enough.


	32. Chapter 9: For The Best

Chapter 9: For The Best

"Why are we going to Gellix, Commander? There hasn't been anything about Gellix in any of the mission files," Miranda asked.

"Consider this one a personal mission," Shepard said.

"Personal?" Jacob asked from his seat next to Miranda.

They were in the shuttle headed towards the Cerberus facility. Shepard had insisted that Jacob and Miranda be the ones to go, and be the only ones to go to Gellix. Garrus didn't understand her reasons, but acquiesced when she insisted. He hadn't wanted to leave her side for long since Mordin cut her head open and fished out those control chips.

"I received a message awhile back from a woman I know named Talitha. She said she was in a 'special school' and that the doctors said she was getting better. I did some research after something she said struck a chord. It's a Cerberus facility," Shepard said holding up a hand. "I don't want to argue about Cerberus, I just want to make sure that Talitha is alright. She's important to me. She was abducted during the raids on Mindoir and was in really bad shape when the Alliance found her a few years ago."

"That's why you wanted Miranda and me to come for this one. I heard you telling Garrus that you just wanted us two. Because it's Cerberus, right?" Jacob asked glancing at Miranda.

"In part. I wanted Miranda mostly for her understanding of Cerberus and because she'll be able to get us into the facility if they give me any trouble. I wanted you because you're human, and have a soothing personality," Shepard said with a grin.

"Uh, um, thanks. I think," Jacob said.

"It's a compliment, Jacob. Talitha was seriously screwed up by the batarians. Obviously I couldn't bring Grundan Krul, but I didn't want to introduce anyone non-human until I know her current state of mind. I know I haven't been in to talk to you much, but I've got a pretty good feel on your personality, Jacob. Especially with the way you responded to me when I woke up on that slab. You're good people. If Talitha is in trouble, she needs good people to help her," Shepard said.

Jacob smiled and said, "So you brought me to play therapist because Chambers isn't field material?"

"Something like that," Shepard said with a chuckle.

"I can do that," Jacob said with a nod.

"Do we know what this cell does, Commander?" Miranda asked.

 _"_ _They indoctrinate people, Miranda because that's the kind of shit Cerberus does,"_ Jane said.

"I guess we'll just have to see," Shepard said meeting Miranda's gaze.

"We're landing," Jacob said looking towards the driver's seat.

The shuttle settled down on the snowy landing pad of the Cerberus facility hidden away in the mountains. Guards – Cerberus Commandos – approached the shuttle; they were armed but hadn't drawn their weapons. The shuttle was clearly marked as Cerberus so Shepard didn't anticipate too much trouble getting in. Getting back out, on the other hand, could be problematic. Shepard slid the shuttles door open and stepped out onto the landing pad. Miranda and Jacob were right behind her.

"We weren't told to expect anyone new?" one of the guards said.

"We're not joining your cell, we're here for a visit," Miranda said.

"A visit? What like an inspection or something?" the other guard asked.

"No, nothing like that. We just need to see someone here, is all," Jacob said.

The guards turned to look at Jacob before asking, "Well, who are you here to see?"

"A friend of mine. Her name is Talitha," Shepard said.

"Talitha? I'm sorry, ma'am, but we're going to have to clear this first," the first guard said stepping away from Shepard's group to talk into his mic.

Shepard glanced at Miranda. She nodded to Shepard in response.

"Authorization code: Alpha 4359654. Project leader Miranda Lawson. Now let us in, you buffoon. It's cold out here," Miranda said.

 _"_ _Remember that, you hear me? Authorization code: Alpha 4359654. Authorization code: Alpha 4359654. Authorization code: Alpha 4359654. Don't forget it, we've never gotten it before we can use this,"_ Jane said.

"I got it," Shepard thought.

"Yes, of course, sorry Ms. Lawson. Henry, they're good, let them in," the second guard said.

The first guard, Henry, turned back to his partner and nodded. The two guards led them down the stairs and towards the facility. They passed two more guards at the next set of stairs, and another two stood at the main entrance. Jane's memories of rescuing Jacob and his team of ex-Cerberus scientists from this location ran through her mind. Her eyes lifted to the satellite and AA tower on the facility's roof.

Their escorts stopped to talk to the two guards at the main entrance. The guards nodded their heads and stepped aside while the massive doors slid apart, opening the facility to them. Shepard followed the guards leading her into the facility and glanced around. Escape shuttles sat directly in a trench directly in front of her with more hanging from cranes above and filling the recess to the right, stairs to the left led up to another door.

The guards led Shepard and her team up the stairs and presented them to a man in a lab coat working at a terminal just outside of the door.

"Dr. Weiss, this is Project leader Miranda Lawson. They say that they've come to visit Talitha," the guard said.

The man looked up from his terminal and eyed Miranda speculatively before flicking his gaze to Jacob and finally Shepard.

"Talitha?" Dr. Weiss asked.

 _"_ _Why do they keep sounding surprised to hear that you want to see Talitha? That can't be a good sign,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah, I got that," Shepard thought.

"Yes sir. She had an Alpha authorization code," the guard said.

"I see. Thank you, Jerome. You two can return to your post," Dr. Weiss said.

"Yes sir," Jerome said before he and Henry walked back down the stairs.

"May I ask why it is you wish to see Talitha?" Dr. Weiss asked Miranda.

"I want to check on her progress, that's all you need to know," Miranda said.

"I see, very well. I'll have someone take you to her," Dr. Weiss said.

He passed through the door, leading the group in and up another flight of stairs. Two more men in lab coats worked at nearby terminals. They didn't even bother to glance Shepard's way. The door at the top opened for Dr. Weiss revealing two more armed guards. The guards turned to look at the doctor, halting him to question who Shepard, Miranda, and Jacob were. Shepard stood to the back, letting Miranda take the lead as much as possible.

"They're here to see Talitha," Dr. Weiss said before turning to look at Miranda. "I'm sorry, what was your authorization code?"

"Authorization code: Alpha 4359654. Project leader Miranda Lawson," Miranda rattled off.

"Right. Take them to Dr. Logan," Dr. Weiss said.

"Yes sir," one of the guards said before waving at Miranda to follow.

He led them up another flight of stairs. Men and women in pristine white lab coats bearing the Cerberus logo moved up and down the stairs past them. At the top of the stairs, more doctors and scientists worked at terminals. Shepard had counted fifteen so far, they didn't appear to be armed but that didn't mean they weren't dangerous. Shepard raised a fist to her mouth and coughed once.

"I'm in position. Ready for your signal," Kasumi's voice whispered through Shepard's headset.

The guard wove his way through the people in white coats until he came to a stop at the main controls console in front of the windows overlooking the facility grounds. He whispered to a woman in a lab coat who turned to look at the three of them. Shepard forced a smile on her face when the woman's eyes met hers. She turned away from the console and crossed the few feet between Miranda and herself.

"I'm Dr. Logan. I've been told you have an Alpha authorization code and wish to see Talitha? Talitha is still in a delicate state, Ms. Lawson. Might I ask what exactly this visit is for?" Dr. Logan said.

Shepard's shoulders tensed. She took in the smaller woman's frame, noting the slight limp she had when she walked. Her left leg was a weak point, and by Shepard's judgement it was her knee that caused the limp. She wore her blond hair up in a tight bun, which was good Shepard thought, it would be easier to put her in a chokehold without her hair making it difficult to get a grip. Miranda sighed and looked at her fingernails before answering the woman.

"As I've already told your guards, I'm here to check on her progress. Is there a problem? Should I call the Illusive Man?" Miranda asked.

"No, of course not. That won't be necessary. Right this way, please," Dr. Logan said.

Shepard relaxed and followed the doctor as she led them to the room she remembered talking to Jacob in when he was having his gunshot examined. Several beds filled the floor, on each bed a person lay strapped down. Wires and tubes running through their skin and into their bodies. Plastic bits shoved into their mouth to keep them from clenching their teeth.

 _"_ _Oh gods. Is that in us? Is that what she put in us? Oh gods,"_ Jane said, that old familiar panic starting to set in again.

"I don't think that's what inside of me, Jane. Calm down," Shepard thought.

Jacob stopped in his tracks causing Shepard to nearly run into his back.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?" Jacob asked.

Dr. Logan turned to look at Jacob and said, "I'm sorry Mr…."

"Jacob Taylor," he said.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Taylor but you know that I cannot divulge that information. Talitha is right this way," Dr. Logan said.

She turned back around and crossed the room to a door at the back. Shepard searched Jane's memories.

 _"_ _It wasn't there before. Well, at least I didn't see it. There was something else here… shelves. They must have been blocking this door,"_ Jane said.

Dr. Logan opened the door with an access card and took them into a small room. Talitha sat at a table staring at the wall in front of her. Her hair had grown out significantly over the last few years but scars still showed on her exposed skin.

"Talitha, you have visitors," Dr. Logan said.

Talitha turned her head to look at Shepard and a smile lit up her face. Shepard had to fight back the rage that flooded her system, echoing back to her from Jane, when she saw the right side of Talitha's face. Orange glowing scars, much like the ones that Shepard woke up with crisscrossed the skin. A metal plate formed a crescent around her eye before swooping over her temple and expanding out into a spider web like lattice over the right side of her head. The right eye itself glowed blue, much like the Illusive Man's.

 _"_ _Gods what did they do to her? They cut her open and put things inside of her! Look, look at her scars and that eye. Did she feel it, did they hurt her? Cutting and drilling? Did she feel it?"_ Jane asked teetering on the edge once more.

"They probably put her out for it, Jane. They didn't mean for you to feel what they did to me, they didn't know about you… didn't understand," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Are you defending them? Are you seriously fucking defending Cerberus?"_ Jane snarled.

"No, Jane. You know that I'm not. I wouldn't. I'm just trying to be rational here, you're losing your grip," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I'm not losing my grip. This is insane. I'm not insane. This entire fucking thing is insane. Look at her!"_ Jane raged.

"I am. Gods, I am," Shepard thought.

"Talitha, it's been far too long," Shepard said.

"Signal received. Going silent," Kasumi's voice whispered in Shepard's ear.

"Shepard? You came to see me?" Talitha asked.

"I need to see her charts," Miranda said.

"Yeah, Talitha. I got your message. Miranda here needs to check on your progress but I thought I'd come along to see you," Shepard said.

Dr. Logan frowned and handed Miranda a datapad. Miranda ran her fingers over the screen, her eyes darted back and forth as she rapidly absorbed the information that it contained. Shepard moved to sit in the chair next to Talitha. Jacob crossed his arms; his mouth formed a tight line at the sight of Talitha's implants.

"I'm so glad that you came to see me, Shepard. Dr. Martin said that you wouldn't be able to come here. He said that I couldn't tell you where I was because it was a secret," Talitha said.

Talitha had stopped referring to herself as 'she', and although she was far more coherent than the last time Shepard saw her, she still spoke like a small child. Shepard smiled warmly at Talitha but watched Dr. Logan out of the corner of her eye. The shrewd woman watched Shepard with narrowed eyes.

"Well, I got lucky is all. How are you, Talitha? Your hair sure looks pretty grown out," Shepard said.

Talitha reached up and ran her fingers over her hair, cringing when her fingers brushed against the metal webbing.

 _"_ _Get that off of her. Get it off!"_ Jane said.

"I remember when I was little, mommy used to braid my hair. Dr. Martin said when it gets long enough he would braid it for me," Talitha said.

"That's nice of Dr. Martin. I think your hair is nearly long enough. I'm sure he can braid it for you soon," Shepard said. "So, how do you like it here, Talitha?"

Talitha frowned and picked at the corner of her table. She averted her gaze from Shepard and swung a foot back and forth under her chair.

"She – I… I like it here OK. They take good care of me here and sometimes I get to see pretty pictures," Talitha said before lowering her voice to a whisper, "Sometimes scary ones, too."

Shepard leaned forward a little, to share in with the other woman's secret. She glanced up at the doctor whose attention was flickering between Shepard and Miranda.

"What kind of scary pictures, Talitha?" Shepard asked.

"Of monsters," Talitha whispered.

 _"_ _Reapers. She's seeing reapers. They did it, they indoctrinated her. Wait, is she going to turn on us? Attack us? Get away from her, she's indoctrinated. Get away,"_ Jane insisted.

"Calm down, Jane," Shepard thought.

"Can you tell me what the monsters look like?" Shepard asked.

"I'm sorry, but who exactly did you say you were?" Dr. Logan asked Shepard.

Shepard ignored the woman and stayed focused on Talitha.

Talitha slowly nodded her head before reaching for a stack of papers sitting on the table in front of her. She rifled through the pages before lying one out on the table in front of Shepard. It was a crayon drawing of a reaper; outlined in thick black lines and shaded with grays. The image was incredibly detailed, the joints in the reapers legs, the seam where it's plating would move aside to reveal the circular beam projector; it was all there.

"Wow, that is scary. Talitha, would you mind talking to my friend Jacob here for a few minutes? I need to have a private conversation with Dr. Logan," Shepard said waving Jacob over.

 _"_ _They're all probably indoctrinated. Everyone in this facility. We have to get out of here. Blow the whole place up. It's going to get us, too,"_ Jane said.

"Is Jacob nice like Dr. Martin?" Talitha asked.

"Jacob's one of the nicest people I know," Shepard said.

Talitha nodded and said, "OK, I'll talk to Jacob."

Shepard met Jacob half way across the room and whispered, "Keep her distracted. Keep her attention on you, you understand?"

"Yes ma'am," Jacob said.

Shepard nodded and smiled at Talitha who had turned around to watch her. Jacob smiled and waved as he made his way to sit down next to Talitha. When Talitha had her attention on Jacob, Shepard went to stand next to Miranda.

"Indoctrination?" Shepard asked.

Miranda looked up from the datapad, her face looked far paler than usual and her eyes looked glazed over.

"It appears so," Miranda said shoving the datapad at Shepard and stepping away.

"I demand to know who you are and what you are doing here right now or I'm calling the guards," Dr. Logan said.

"My name is Commander Shepard and I'm here to see my friend," Shepard said pulling out her pistol. "Now, I'm going to ask you one simple question and I sincerely hope that you have the answer that I'm looking for."

Dr. Logan began to back away from Shepard towards the door. Miranda spun around and lifted the woman off of her feet with her biotics. The color had returned to Miranda's face and her eyes were filled with fire.

"Can you reverse this?" Shepard asked.

The terrified woman shook her head. Her lips began to tremble and tears started to form in her eyes.

"No, I'm sorry. We were only told to learn to control it. We – we – we were never told to learn how to cure it…" Dr. Logan said.

"Shepard, if you kill her now we are going to have to fight our way out of here," Miranda warned.

"Do you want to live, Dr. Logan?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _No, don't let her live. Kill them all. We have to shut this whole place down,"_ Jane insisted.

The woman nodded her head vigorously and said, "Yes. Please, yes."

"Then I suggest that you stay very quiet and when I tell you to, you're going to walk us back out of this facility with Talitha. You're going to tell anyone that asks that you received orders from the Illusive Man and that Talitha is to leave with us. Do you understand?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _No! You can't take her with us! She could turn on us, or just indoctrinate everyone by being around. It's too risky. You have to leave her, Dawn, you have to leave her,"_ Jane said.

"I'm not leaving her! We'll find a way to fix this. We have to," Shepard thought.

"Yes, please, I'll do whatever you say," Dr. Logan said.

Shepard put her gun away and turned back to Talitha.

"Talitha, come on honey, you're going to come with me now, OK?" Shepard said.

"Is Dr. Martin coming, too?" Talitha asked standing up from her chair.

Jacob's eyes moved between the biotically suspended doctor and Shepard.

"I'm sorry, Talitha but Dr. Martin has to stay and do his important work. But you and I will have a lot of fun together. I'm going to take you on my ship and we're going to go visit lots of places, will that be alright?" Shepard asked.

Talitha nodded and crossed the room to stand next to Shepard. Jacob moved next to Miranda, his hand resting near his pistol.

"Alright Miranda, put her down," Shepard said.

Miranda lowered the woman back to the ground before releasing her hold on her. Dr. Logan stumbled forward as the weight was suddenly back on her bum knee.

"Alright, doctor, lead the way," Shepard said.

 _"_ _You can't be serious! You have to see that this is crazy. This is too great a risk for one person, Dawn. We can't do this,"_ Jane insisted.

Dr. Logan nodded and opened the door. She walked out stiffly and through the room with people strapped to beds. Shepard followed closely behind her with Talitha sandwiched between Jacob and Miranda. The other doctors in the room didn't bother to look up at all as they crossed through. Once they reached the door that opened up into the room with the main controls, Dr. Logan did something incredibly foolish.

The doctor tried to make a run for it, getting maybe five feet on her bum leg before Shepard shot her in the back of her head. Talitha screamed. Every person in the vicinity snapped their heads towards the noise and froze.

"Black Out! Code Black Out!" one of the men in a lab coat yelled out.

Shepard heard footsteps pounding up the stairs and she shoved Talitha behind a crate.

"Now, Kasumi, now!" Shepard yelled into her mic before firing on the first guard to appear at the top of the stairs.

Every console screen in the room flickered before the Cerberus logo popped up on the screen. Men and women in lab coats frantically tried to get their data off of the consoles, cursing as they could find nothing but the logo. Guards rushed up the stairs forming a line between Shepard's team and the scientists. Shepard motioned Jacob towards Talitha, giving him a silent order to protect the woman.

Kasumi materialized next to Shepard and said, "There were more guards coming up the back way but I've locked the door. It should take them awhile to get through. I wasn't able to get everything off the computers but I got the most important stuff, I think."

"What is she doing here?" Jacob asked but Shepard didn't answer.

"Good work, Kasumi. Fill me in when we're not being shot at," Shepard said.

"Good idea," Kasumi said pulling out her pistol and taking aim.

"Terminating the Project," a woman in a lab coat called out from behind the guards.

Shepard couldn't see what the woman did but suddenly Talitha started to convulse beside her. Jacob grabbed Talitha and tried to stabilize her but his efforts were in vain.

"No, no, no, no! Talitha, no, hang on, hang on I'm getting you out of this place," Shepard yelled while replacing her thermal clip.

Shepard emptied that clip as fast as she could into the row of guards before popping it out and sliding in another. Talitha stopped moving. Jacob felt the woman's neck, seeking a pulse that Shepard already knew in the pit of her stomach he wasn't going to find.

"I'm sorry, Commander. She's gone," Jacob said looking up from Talitha's body.

Shepard growled and stood to her feet, firing off several shots as she went. She used her biotic charge to slam into the nearest guard before shooting him in the face. Fueled by fury, she shot at everyone wearing full Cerberus armor or a white lab coat. It didn't matter to her that the doctors and scientists were unarmed; they had just killed an innocent woman after committing unspeakable acts of torture and inhumane experiments on her all while wrapping it up with a bow and calling it 'care'.

Shepard spun and sent four guards toppling with a Shockwave before shooting a man in a lab coat in the head. Her team moved up closer to her, taking better positions. Kasumi appeared behind a man and stabbed him in the side before re-cloaking. Jacob pulled a guard into the air and fired into his floating form.

The fight was over in minutes, the floor slick with blood. Red splatters painted the walls and the console. A man in a lab coat lay twitching in his final moments of life. Shepard still shook with rage as she turned around looking for anyone else to shoot. She fired a last shot into the twitching man's skull.

"Jacob, Kasumi watch the stairs. Miranda with me," Shepard said.

Miranda moved to Shepard's side as Shepard backtracked to check the men and women strapped to beds in the last room. She checked to make sure the room was clear; the doctors had all fled when the gunfire started most of them now corpses in the control room. Shepard moved to one of the beds and checked for life signs. Miranda went to another. They worked their way through the dozen people but each of them were already dead.

"Whatever triggered the convulsions in Talitha must have done the same for the others," Miranda said.

"Why wasn't she in this room with the others? Why did they keep her separate, locked away by herself?" Shepard asked.

"According to her records, Talitha's unique state of mind when they acquired her allowed for a more complete transition and eased the process. She was fully indoctrinated. Shepard, I know that this will be hard to hear, but I think her death was a mercy and safer for all of us," Miranda said. "It would have taken me months, at least to figure out how to reverse what they did even with Mordin's help. There is no telling what would have happened if she had been on the Normandy in the meantime time."

"Let's get the hell out of here," Shepard said clenching and unclenching her fists.

Miranda nodded, sadness tugging at her perfect features. They moved back into the slaughter room and met up with Jacob and Kasumi before moving down the stairs. Shepard could hear the emergency shuttles departing the facility and felt angry knowing that there were any survivors. When they got back to the main entrance, only a few shuttles remained and the area was empty.

Shepard put her back to the wall next to the door and nodded to Kasumi who used the console at the top of the stairs to trigger the door release. The doors slid open and the guards outside started firing haphazardly into the facility. Miranda and Jacob were across from Shepard watching for her signal. Shepard waited for a pause in the fire before turning to send a Shockwave into the row of guards. Her team opened fire, killing several guards immediately and pushing the rest back. Shepard ran for cover, claiming the ground the Cerberus Commandos fled. She provided cover fire, shooting in a spray at the guards while her team pushed forward to claim cover.

Yard by yard, Shepard and her team pushed the enemy back, killing those who weren't fast enough to flee. Finally, the few remaining had nowhere else to flee too. Shepard saw one of them eye her shuttle up on the landing pad and she used her biotics to charge at him before he could make a run for it. She slammed into the man and shot him several times in the chest, ripping through his shields and setting him on fire.

She turned to fire more rounds at the nearest target while the one next to him was pulled into the air and shot. Shepard used her Shockwave to knock the last two over the railing to tumble down the mountainside. Miranda called the all clear and the others joined Shepard as she made her way to the shuttle.

The ride back to the Normandy was one filled with sober silence. Shepard contemplated having Joker blow the damn facility up but knew that it would be a drastic act and would likely jeopardize future events for no real gain. Miranda stared out the window, her arms crossed over her chest hugging herself. Occasionally, Shepard would catch sight of Miranda gently caressing her arms trying to soothe herself unconsciously. Shepard saw anger on Jacob's face; it wasn't an expression that Jane's memories associated with him except on the rare occasion. It was clear that he was deeply disturbed by the day's events. The question remained, what disturbed him the most: the realization that Cerberus was up to some very serious sick shit, or that he had been backed into a corner and forced to take part on an assault on a Cerberus facility. Shepard believed that it was the former rather than the latter. Jacob was a good guy, even if he was a bit misguided at times. Kasumi stayed hidden, her tactical cloak acting as an emotional barrier but Shepard could hear her occasional sniffles and was sure that the others could as well.

The shuttle flew back into the Normandy's hangar. Once it was safe to, Shepard opened the shuttle door and headed straight for the elevator. Normally, she would say a few words to her team; reinforce their good work or find another way to build morale but right then she was seriously lacking in the morale department herself. She took the elevator up to her cabin and stripped off her armor, throwing it violently against the wall.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Shepard yelled at the empty room.

 _"_ _For the best. It was for the best,"_ Jane said.

EDI's hologram popped up and EDI asked, "Shepard, are you in need of assistance?"

"No, EDI. I'm – I – I don't know. Gods this is all so fucked up," Shepard said turning to look at the hologram.

"Perhaps speaking with Yeoman Chambers would be beneficial?" EDI suggested.

"Yeah. Maybe. I'll think about it," Shepard said noncommittally.

"Garrus is on his way up to see you and the Illusive Man would like to speak to you in the Communications Room," EDI said.

"I'm sure he would. Thanks, EDI," Shepard said.

Shepard raked her hands through her hair and left her cabin. The elevator opened up in front of her with Garrus inside. He looked up from the floor and met her gaze. Shepard knew that even if he couldn't see the fire in her eyes, he'd be able to smell the anger rolling off of her in waves. His mandibles fluttered lightly as he watched her cross into the elevator and hit the button for the second deck. Garrus knew her well enough to know that as comforting as his touch was to her, being touched when she was this angry only made things worse. He kept his distance, staying to the opposite side of the elevator.

"How bad?" he finally asked.

"Monumentally. I just slaughtered at least half the people in that damn facility and Talitha still died. It wasn't supposed to go that way. I was supposed to walk out with Talitha, find a way to help her. Kasumi was there to steal the data and then corrupt their files once we were out. It was going as planned but one stupid woman couldn't accept that and brought down the whole fucking house of cards," Shepard said.

"What now?" Garrus asked.

"The Illusive Man is on the comm waiting for me. He probably got reports of what was happening from the first asshole to make it to the escape shuttles," Shepard said.

"What will he do?" he asked.

Shepard shrugged her shoulder and said, "I don't know. This is a new one. He's not going to be happy, but I doubt he'll take action against me. At least nothing obvious."

The elevator stopped and the doors slid open. Shepard could feel the eyes of every Cerberus employee on her but they all turned away the second she looked anywhere near their direction. Shepard stepped out of the elevator and turned towards the armory to pass through to the comm room. Jacob was leaning against one of the tables at his station, his hands splayed out across the metal surface. His eyes studied the table intently until Shepard cleared her throat and he turned his head to look at her.

"The Illusive Man is waiting. I'm going to make sure he understands that you and Miranda went in to this blind. I didn't mean for things to go the way they did, but –," Shepard started to say.

Jacob shook his head and looked back down at the table cutting Shepard off with a firmly spoken, "Don't bother."

Shepard hesitated, Garrus standing quietly next to her. Jacob finally turned around, leaning into the table and crossing his arms.

"I didn't know, Shepard. I hope you realize that. I didn't know," Jacob said.

Shepard walked towards the table separating her from Jacob and laid her palms on the surface. She studied him for a moment, taking in the pain and remorse in his face and nodded.

"I know, Jacob," Shepard said.

"I'm sorry. About your friend. I tried, Shepard. There was nothing I could do for her," he said.

 _"_ _For the best,"_ Jane whispered.

As he spoke, Jacob shifted forward and leaned with his palms on the table. He spoke with earnest in a low, hushed, pleading tone.

"I know, Jacob. I don't blame you for that, not at all. I blame them. I blame the Illusive Man. I blame myself, even, but I don't blame you," Shepard said.

"How can you not? You've talked about the evils of Cerberus, and even though I've always been skeptical to both sides of the story… I am a part of Cerberus. By choice!" Jacob said.

Garrus, who had hung back to give them space until now, crossed the room and stood next to Shepard. He crossed his arms and locked his eyes on Jacob.

"So make another choice. You've seen it yourself now. Help us fight the collectors and then walk away. Better yet, fight the collectors and then fight Cerberus," Garrus said challenging Jacob to take action.

Jacob pushed himself back from the table and nodded thoughtfully at Garrus' statement.

"Yeah. Yeah I've got to do something. This isn't right. This isn't me," Jacob said.

Shepard offered Jacob a smile before turning to leave.

"Oh, hey, Shepard?" Jacob said.

Shepard turned back to Jacob, Garrus pausing beside her to do the same.

"If you survive your talk with the Illusive Man, I had something else I wanted to talk to you about when you have a minute," Jacob said.

Shepard nodded and said, "Sure, Jacob."

Shepard and Garrus walked into the comm room and EDI lowered the table into the floor giving Shepard access to the quantum entanglement communications array. She started to walk towards the communicator but paused and turned back to Garrus who was leaning against the corner near the door. She stood on her tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss to his mandible. He grinned and his mandibles fluttered.

"What was that for?" Garrus asked.

"For being you," she said simply.

Shepard turned and walked into the communicator, the holographic grid rising up around her, scanning her and projecting her image to the Illusive Man even as it allowed her to see him. As usual, he was sitting in his power position. A simple chair in the center of the room just far enough away from the communicator that it made him difficult to see in the dark. He had a tumbler in one hand and a glowing cigarette in the other. Shepard waited with her arms crossed for him to speak. If he expected her to hurry into an explanation or offer an apology he'd be waiting for a damn long time.

"Shepard. I've received reports that a Cerberus research facility on Gellix was just under attack by three of my operatives. Miranda's name and authorization code were used, but I suspect that this was your idea," the Illusive Man said.

Shepard remained quiet, staring daggers at the man who seemed so very close, close enough that she could lunge at him and wrap her fingers around his throat but was really he was so very, very far away.

"Well?" the Illusive Man asked.

"Well what?" Shepard snapped.

"Care to explain why you infiltrated a Cerberus facility and killed half of the researchers and guards?" the Illusive Man asked.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I killed all of the guards unless some of them were cowards and fled in the face of hostile activity. Sure, I'll tell you why, though. Her name was Talitha. She was an innocent woman who was abducted on Mindoir by batarian slavers. She lived a life full of abuse and torture, so much to the point that she didn't see herself as even being a human being anymore when I first met her," Shepard said.

 _"_ _It was for the best. She won't feel any of it now, and now she can't hurt us,"_ Jane said.

"Say it was for the best one more time and I swear I will find a way to cut you out of my own head," Shepard thought.

The Illusive Man took a long drag from his cigarette, the burning ember illuminating part of his smug face for a brief moment. He blew the smoke out slowly; it curled and licked around his face before spreading out to add to the hazy feel of the room. He twisted the tumbler about in his hand, the ice clinking together before taking a swallow.

"That was about three years ago, on the Citadel. Alliance had rescued her from the slavers so I'm not really sure how the hell exactly she came to be in one of your facilities acting an experiment for your twisted research into indoctrination. But there you have it," Shepard said.

"Commander, I don't know what you think happened to –," the Illusive Man said.

Shepard cut him off, raising her voice to be heard above his and said, "Bullshit. So, anyway, Talitha contacted me not too long ago and I figured I'd go pay her a visit. Check on her, see how she's doing and figure out for myself just what the fuck Cerberus was doing with her and if I didn't like what I found, I was going to take her out of that facility. I was doing just that, taking her out, when one of your _doctors_ decided to commit suicide – I mean, I did warn her. 'Course, the shit hit the fan after that and the only way to get out was to shoot my way out. They killed, Talitha, by the way. Fried her brain somehow, along with all of the other's they had strapped down to tables with wires and reaper tech running through their bodies."

Jane whimpered in the back of Shepard's head as the images of those poor dead bodies strapped to tables replayed through Shepard's mind. The Illusive Man took another long drag off his cigarette and tapped the ashes off, spinning the tip of the cigarette around in the ash tray.

"I wasn't aware that facility was using human subjects. I'll look into the matter. The next time you plan to visit a Cerberus facility, I ask that you go through the proper channels and try not to kill anyone – if you think you can manage that," the Illusive Man said adding a particularly snide tone to the last bit.

Shepard stared at him in silence. His glowing blue eyes stared back at her. She turned and walked out of the holographic grid, the Illusive Man's hideout disappearing from her view and being replaced with the comm room on the Normandy. The comm table rose out of the floor and locked back into place.

"Sometimes I have to wonder if that man likes the smell of his own bullshit," Shepard said.

Garrus pushed away from the wall and opened the door for her. Shepard put a hand on Garrus' arm to halt him before they got close enough to trigger the armory door's automatic function.

"He's going to want to talk to me about a personal matter. I'm not sure if he's going to be comfortable talking about it in front of you, hell he won't be comfortable talking about it to me but he needs my help. So, if it looks like he needs it, give us some space?" Shepard said.

"No problem. Why don't I just head to the battery and get some work done. Meet back up with you later?" Garrus said.

"Thanks," Shepard said pulling Garrus to her.

He wrapped his arms around her and pressed his forehead to hers before walking into the armory. Garrus nodded to Jacob before passing through to the CIC. Shepard made her way to Jacob and leaned against the table.

"What's up?" Shepard asked.

Jacob rubbed at the back of his neck before resting his hands on the tabletop.

"I'm not normally one to ask for a personal favor, but I thought that maybe since you said this thing we just did was personal for you… maybe it would be alright to ask," Jacob said.

"Of course it's alright to ask, Jacob. Worst that would happen is I'd say no, and that's not really my style. What's going on?" Shepard asked again.

"It's about my father. Well, about the ship he was on," Jacob said rubbing at his neck again.

Shepard watched Jacob in silence while he worked through the thoughts running through his head.

"My father was on a ship called the Hugo Gernsback… it went missing ten years ago. I'm not sure who sent it, but last night I got a message sent to my private account. The Gernsback sent out an SOS last week, the message said there was a crash and they were requesting a rescue," Jacob said.

"You have the coordinates?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, but Shepard, I'm not sure I trust this. Especially not in light of recent events. I mean, ten years is a long time. Why an SOS now? Why was I sent an anonymous message through Cerberus filters? It just doesn't add up. I'm not expecting to find my father alive, not after all these years but still, it would be nice to get some answers," Jacob said.

"We'll take a team and go in cautiously, Jacob. We're going to need everyone focused and at their best, and that means looking into this while there's still time. Forward the coordinates to Joker, we'll go as soon as we can," Shepard said.

"Thanks, Shepard," Jacob said.

EDI's hologram popped up and she said, "Shepard, there is an urgent call coming through from Councilor Anderson."

"Patch it through to my cabin, EDI," Shepard said before turning back to Jacob. "I've got to take this; we can talk later if you want."

"Yeah, sure," Jacob said as Shepard left the armory.

Shepard called the elevator and paced in front of the closed doors while she waited. She turned in her pacing and jumped when she nearly walked into Kelly.

"Sorry, Commander, I didn't mean to startle you. I just wanted to let you know that I'm available, if you need to talk about your friend. Or anything at all, really," Kelly said.

Shepard smiled and nodded her head. The elevator doors opened.

"Thanks, Kelly. I appreciate that, maybe later?" Shepard said and Kelly nodded.

Shepard stepped onto the elevator and took it up to her cabin. She entered her cabin and opened up her bug detection software and did a quick sweep of the room just in case someone slipped more listening devices in while she was away.

"EDI, please give us some privacy," Shepard said.

"As you wish, Shepard," EDI said closing her hologram.

Shepard stepped over to her desk and pushed the button that would turn her glass display case into a vid screen. Anderson appeared before her and didn't waste time with pleasantries.

"Shepard, I've just received reports from your salarian team and Alliance stationed on Fehl Prime. They are under attack as we speak. Kirrahe reported heavy collector presence and he has been able to obtain the data you requested. He is doing what he can to protect the colony, and you were right, the swarms are only going after humans," Anderson said.

"Do we have a report on losses so far, sir?" Shepard asked.

"Not yet, but it doesn't sound good, Shepard," Anderson said.

"We'll head there right away; provide what assistance we can if we make it in time. Thank you, sir," Shepard said.

"Shepard, don't be rash. You've said yourself that your ship isn't ready to stand up to their attacks. Officially, I can't tell you not to go but as your friend I'm asking you to be smart about it," Anderson said.

 _"_ _We still need Tali's info on the multicore shielding, but the guns that Garrus installed and the armor upgrades from Jacob will help. The others aren't as important,"_ Jane said.

"Yes sir. We're nearly there but I won't jeopardize the mission, sir," Shepard said.

"Stow the sir crap, Shepard. Don't jeopardize you. I don't want to have to hear about you dying again," Anderson said.

Shepard smiled and said, "Alright Anderson, I'll be careful."

"Thank you, Shepard. Anderson out," he said before the screen went black.

Shepard pushed the button again, turning the black screen back into clear glass and left her cabin. She pushed the elevator button and while she waited she called out to EDI.

"Yes Shepard?" EDI asked.

"Call everyone to the comm room. We have a hit," Shepard said.

"At once," EDI said.

Shepard took the elevator down to the CIC and input the coordinates for the Fehl Prime colony in Sigurd's Cradle, flagging it as urgent so Joker would get them there as fast as possible. She closed the map and cut through the tech labs, meeting up with Mordin on his way to the comm room. Once everyone was gathered Shepard addressed her crew.

"Alright everyone, I've had word that the human colony of Fehl Prime is under attack as we speak. I've placed a small group of STG there to gather information for us and to help protect the colonists. It was a gamble but it's paid off. We are on our way there now. It is unlikely that we'll make it there in time to help much, but we will plan for that outcome. Our priority will be to provide support to the STG team and to secure the data they've collected. Our secondary priority is to defend the colony. I know that this is a tough call, some of you may not like hearing it but without that data many more colonies will be abducted and we will have failed," Shepard said.

"I don't know what exactly we'll find when we get there but I know two things. First, this ship is not ready to face a collector ship. Second, we cannot send any humans to ground until we have the all clear. Which means that even I have to sit this one out as much as it kills me to do so," she said.

The room broke out into murmurs of discontent and confusion. Shepard held up a hand to quiet them.

"There is Alliance presence on Fehl Prime, so a Cerberus ship in the middle of this might cause some confusion as well. We'll hail the colony as soon as we are close enough to do so; I'll announce myself and push my Spectre authority," Shepard said. "Legion, I don't think it's wise to send you down there in the middle of a panic without me there. Lia, I know you're excited to help but I'm not really sure that this is the best time for you to start. That leaves Garrus, Grunt, Grundan Krul, and Mordin. Garrus, you will lead the team and rendezvous with Kirrahe. Mordin, you will act as liaison to the STG there. Once I've gotten the all clear, I will take a second shuttle to meet with you on the ground."

She glanced at each person as she spoke and they nodded their understanding of their tasks. Grunt looked particularly pleased at the opportunity to finally get to kill something. She felt marginally bad that she hadn't set him loose on Gellix but it was the right decision at the time.

"EDI, can you access a map of Fehl Prime?" Shepard asked.

A hologram of the colony appeared in the air above the table.

"Garrus, this is your ride. Find your landing location and plan of attack. I'll have EDI add to it any information we get in the meantime. Questions?" Shepard said.

Shepard's eyes roamed over everyone in the room, they all watched her but no one spoke up so Shepard dismissed them. Everyone but those assigned to the strike team left the room. Garrus moved closer to the table to manipulate and study the map of Fehl Prime. Grundan Krul stood beside him while Mordin opened his omni-tool and began running his fingers over the screen.

"EDI, can you put up the image of the collector that we found on Freedom's Progress?" Shepard asked.

The image appeared and as expected, Grunt moved in closer to examine the image. She knew he would want to know his enemy and she could tell that he was already searching out the weak spots. Shepard stepped up beside Grunt and pulled the image of the collector, zooming in on the once prothean mutation.

 _"_ _You need to tell them about the others, the scions, praetorians; they won't just be fighting those. Husks and abominations, too,"_ Jane added.

"I'll fill Garrus and Mordin in on everything privately, that's the best we can do," Shepard thought.

"EDI, an image of the husks as well please. I suspect that the reaper troops will be accompanying the collectors," Shepard said.

A 3-D image of a husk appeared next to the collector; Shepard rotated the image slowly so Grunt could soak it in.

"They look human," he said.

"They were, once. I spent a lot of time fighting them while chasing down Saren," Shepard said. "They tend to attack in swarms, they like to close in on you and cling to you while they claw and bite. They don't appear to feel pain, and so don't slow down when injured. Some of them will get in close and activate some sort of electrical pulse that will drop your shields. They appear to be designed to harry ground troops while larger troops close in or line up shots," Shepard said.

"What weapons do they use?" Grunt asked.

"Just their bodies and that pulse. I've never seen one pick up a gun. They're completely mindless, driven solely by their… programming to seek out and attack the nearest enemy. They have no sense of self-preservation, they wear no armor and will not seek cover," Shepard said.

"What about the collectors?" Grunt asked.

Shepard glanced at Garrus before responding, "We have limited intel on them at this point. We know that they have advanced technology, and I know firsthand that the guns on their ships do massive amounts of damage. The old Normandy was ripped to shreds by a collector vessel, and the old Normandy had cutting edge technology. I think it's safe to assume that their ground troops will likely have better weapons than we do."

"Good. It's no fun if it's not challenging," Grunt said with a grin.

Grundan Krul moved around the table to look at the images of the husk and collector. He stood quietly next to Shepard, his dark eyes moving up and down the images.

"May I?" he asked indicating the holograms.

"Of course," Shepard said moving aside to give him better access.

Grundan Krul reached across the opening in the table to pull the image of the husk closer and increase its size. He studied it, moving the image around from front to back before stopping on the front and pointing to the ring-shaped implant on the husk's abdomen.

"Here. The pulse's energy will come from this point, if it can be disabled first, it should prevent the husk from emitting its pulse. I'd suggest using Overload or Sabotage, failing that shooting that location should do the trick," Grundan Krul said.

Shepard raised her eyebrows and glanced at the batarian standing next to her. He turned his head away from the husk, his eyes searching hers for understanding.

"Jane?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I – I don't know. He could be right,"_ Jane said.

"Huh. I'll be damned. It's definitely worth the field test. Good catch," Shepard said.

Grundan Krul's lips twitched in some semblance of the start of a smile but that was it, he nodded his head and started looking at the collector more closely. Shepard wished that they had a better image of the collector, and that she could warn them of what else they should expect to find if they got there in the heat of battle. She would just have to trust in Garrus' leadership skills and his ability to keep calm and focused in battle.

Shepard excused herself from the room and left the four of them to plan. She headed to the mess hall and collapsed onto a bench running her hands through her hair. Two minutes later a tray was slid across the table in front of her. Shepard glanced up to see Gardner smile at her before walking back to his station. Shepard looked at the tray for a long minute before she finally picked up the spoon and dug into the gumbo. The mess hall was mostly empty; it was past the usual meal time so Shepard ate alone enjoying the relative silence until Kelly slid into the bench across from her with a bowl of salad and glass of what looked like iced tea.

She smiled warmly at Shepard before putting a forkful in her mouth. Shepard knew that the yeoman was waiting for her to talk; to pour out her emotions about the day's events whether through sorrowful tears or angry rantings but Shepard was finding it difficult to connect to her emotions just then. She continued to eat in silence and so did Kelly. After about ten minutes, Shepard decided that even if she wasn't feeling anything right now, it would be good to talk to Kelly about Talitha.

"She was on Mindoir during the raids," Shepard said.

Kelly swallowed and took a sip of her tea before responding, "The batarian slaver raids?"

"Yeah. She wasn't as lucky as I was… if you can call it lucky," Shepard said.

"She was taken?" Kelly asked.

Shepard nodded slowly and ate a couple more bites of her gumbo before continuing.

"I met her on the Citadel a few years ago. Marines had found her while raiding the slaver's encampment and brought her back to the Citadel. She was terrified, wanted to kill herself because she was so sure that her masters were going to find her again and punish her for leaving. She'd gotten a hold of a gun and was held up behind some crates on the docks," Shepard took a sip of her coffee.

"I imagine that must have been a terrifying predicament for her," Kelly said.

 _"_ _You think?"_ Jane snapped.

"I spent some time talking her down. She told me all about what happened to her and her family during the raids, and what happened to her in the years as a slave. I kept thinking how easily that could have been me. She didn't even see herself as human anymore, just kept referring to herself as an animal, or slave; talked in the third person. It took a while but I got her to tell me her name, Talitha," Shepard said.

Kelly waited in silence, watching as Shepard stirred her gumbo around with her spoon. After a minute or so, Shepard started to speak again.

"I just wanted to get her out of there, Kelly. No one was supposed to die today. They had her indoctrinated, all wired up with reaper tech. They were trying to figure out how to control it and the doctor said they didn't even bother to try to figure out how to reverse it. I don't know what I thought I could do for her really, but I just thought getting her out of there would have to be better than continuing to let them experiment on her. She'd been through enough," Shepard said.

"When you found here there, what did you feel?" Kelly prodded.

 _"_ _What the hell do you think we felt?!"_ Jane said.

"Really? You're asking how I felt, not wondering what the hell Cerberus was doing to this poor woman?" Shepard asked.

Kelly forced a smile on her face and spoke softly, "Understanding the whys and hows of what Cerberus was doing isn't my job right now, Commander. Helping you through this so that you can be at your best is."

Shepard frowned at the other woman before sighing and saying, "I felt pissed. And disgusted. And I guess a little sad."

"Let's start with the anger. What or who exactly where you angry with?" Kelly asked.

Shepard stuck her spoon in her bowl and rolled her tongue around in her mouth before sucking on her teeth.

"I was angry with Cerberus, with the Illusive Man. I was angry at the reapers for existing. I was angry at myself for not having kept closer tabs on Talitha after that day on the Citadel," Shepard said.

"Do you think Talitha was somehow your responsibility?" Kelley asked.

"What… no, I don't guess so not really but it would have just been the decent, humane thing to do," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Of course you do. We always do. They're all our responsibility,"_ Jane said.

"Why didn't you, then, Commander?" Kelley challenged.

"Um, I was busy chasing down a rogue Spectre and trying to convince the Council that the reapers were real and were coming!" Shepard said exasperated.

Kelly watched Shepard in silence as she processed her own words. Shepard sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"What would you have liked to have done differently, if the circumstances had been different?" Kelly asked.

"I should have – would have made sure she was in a good place that was going to actually help her. Checked in on her, maybe gone to visit. Reminded her that even though I didn't go through everything she did, there was at least someone else out there who had seen some of the horrors that she had. Reminded her that she wasn't alone… and that she wasn't a damn animal," Shepard said.

"I'm sure that would have meant a lot to Talitha. Commander, do you feel as if what you did do to help her is somehow lessened by what you couldn't do to help her?" Kelly asked.

Shepard thought about that question before shaking her head and saying, "No, I don't guess so. She would have killed herself that day, maybe even a few others. She was in immediate danger."

"Tell me, when Talitha saw you today how did she react?" Kelly asked.

"She smiled, she seemed really excited and happy to see me," Shepard said.

"Sounds like you made real impact on her," Kelly said.

"Yeah. It just wasn't enough," Shepard said.

"Sometimes things happen outside of our control," Kelly said. "Commander, you died. You were gone for two years and you had no control over that or the events that occurred in your absence."

Shepard winced. She did have control over that, and she chose to die. She chose to go to Alchera where she knew the collectors would ambush her and destroy the Normandy. She stood there on her ship while it was being ripped apart and waited for death. Kelly grew quiet, her eyes studying Shepard and drawing conclusions about the meaning behind Shepard's reactions.

"Do you blame yourself for your death, Commander?" Kelly asked.

 _"_ _Yes. It was your fault. You knew. And it hurt so bad. Suffocating, feeling like our skull was being crushed, like our eyes were going to explode. Then burning, our whole body catching on fire. Slamming into Alchera, shattering damn near every bone in our body. Then nothing until the cutting and drilling. They cut us open and put things inside of us and I felt it all, and it was all your fault,"_ Jane rambled.

"No, of course not," Shepard said schooling her expressions and sliding her Commander mask back into place.

Shepard shoved a few more bites of the gumbo down her throat and drained her coffee cup. She stood up and picked up her tray, pausing to look at Kelly.

"You're right, Kelly. I did everything that I could have, and this wasn't my fault. Thanks for the talk. I've got to get back to my cabin, I've got planning to do for the Fehl Prime mission," Shepard said.

"Of course, Commander. Anytime," Kelly said, her eyes filled with concern and her lips pressed into a tight line.

Shepard carried her tray back over to Gardner listening as Jane relieved the experience over and over again in her head; tossing the accusations at Shepard as she went. Gardner looked at the half full bowl and frowned.

"Didn't like the gumbo?" Gardner asked.

 _"_ _You saw on the video. Ribs spread open, heart barely beating as she screwed reaper tech into our ribs and heart,"_ Jane said.

"No, it's delicious it's just been one hell of a day… save it for me, I'll finish it later when my mind isn't all over the place," Shepard said.

 _"_ _And I was begging her to stop. Screaming in agony and they just kept scraping and drilling,"_ Jane said.

Gardner smiled and said, "Sure thing, Commander."

"Jane, stop. Gods, please stop," Shepard thought.

Shepard struggled to return the smile and slid the tray across the counter to him before heading back to the elevator. Once back in her cabin, Shepard settled into her desk and opened her laptop. She fought to push Jane's continued diatribe. She had EDI pull up the map they had been working on and put it on the big screen. Twenty minutes later and Jane finally fell silent. Shepard was exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally but she continued to push herself. A half hour more and they had a few new locations noted on the map, both of potential Cerberus facilities and of reported collector activity.

Shepard was glad to see that the Illusive Man hadn't put a stop to her and EDI's loophole. She figured he had to know about it by now; she wondered what he stood to gain from allowing it, she knew he had to have a reason. Maybe he was just curious to see what she would do with the information she was able to piece together.

"Shepard, Jack has entered your cabin as her destination in the elevator. Should I allow her to enter?" EDI asked.

Shepard looked up at the hologram a little shocked that Jack would be coming to see her.

"Uh, yeah, sure. Save our progress and close the map then let her in, EDI," Shepard said.

A minute later Shepard's cabin door slid open and Jack hesitantly poked her head in and glanced around before strolling in carrying a bottle of spiced rum. Shepard's eyebrow twitched and she stood up from her desk. Jack came to a stop a few feet away from Shepard and leaned against the partition next to her desk. She held up the bottle of rum.

"Hey. Heard about the shit on Gellix today. Got this on the Citadel to pass time and deal with the mind-numbing boredom of being stuck on this ship but I figured you could probably use a drink," Jack said.

"That… sounds like an excellent idea. I'll grab us some glasses," Shepard said.

"Glasses are for pussies, Shepard. Just drink out of the damn bottle," Jack said with a smirk.

Shepard chuckled and said, "Alright. Crack it open. Couches downstairs. There's a stereo over there if you want."

"Cool," Jack said opening the bottle of rum and taking a deep pull from the dark amber alcohol before passing it to Shepard.

Shepard accepted the bottle and took a deep pull herself. Jack walked down the stairs and around the personal quarters of Shepard's cabin. She ran her fingertips over the back of the couch, and stopped to look at the model ships in her display case. Jack smirked and shook her head. Shepard stood at the top of the stairs watching her.

"What?" Shepard asked.

"Model ships? Seriously Shepard? God you Alliance types are so boring," Jack said.

"Ouch! Joker's right, you are _mean_ ," Shepard said stepping down the stairs.

Jack smirked and continued her survey of Shepard's room, stopping on occasion to look at something a little closer or to run her fingers over a photograph. She stopped and picked up a picture of Liara that Shepard had framed after she learned about the asari's death.

"Who's this?" Jack asked.

"Liara T'soni," Shepard said moving to look at the photograph in Jack's hands. "She was on my old crew. A good friend. She uh, she died when a blast from the collector ship hit the escape pod she was in. This one here is Ashley Williams, she was in the pod, too."

 _"_ _Your fault,"_ Jane mumbled weakly.

Jack set the picture back down before picking up one of Kaidan, "What about him?"

"Kaidan Alenko. Died on Virmire being a damn hero against orders. Should have expected it, to be honest," Shepard said.

Jack set the picture of Kaidan back down without comment before moving over to the stereo and fiddling with the nobs until she had something that sounded like a cross between techno and death metal playing through the speakers. Shepard fought back the desire to veto her music choice. Jack was making an effort her to be civil, she wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Shepard took another drink of the rum and handed the bottle back to Jack before sitting on the couch. Jack flopped down on the perpendicular section of the couch and threw her feet up, leaning her back against the armrest with one arm draped over the side to dangle behind her.

Jack held the bottle out towards Shepard without making any effort to close the distance between the two of them so Shepard got up and took it from her before settling back down into the corner of the couch where it would be easier to pass it back and forth. Shepard took a deep pull of the rum before examining the label. It was strong, stronger than the stuff she'd been buying and it seemed to be a hitting her a little quicker than the rest. She knew it would still take quite a bit to get her drunk but damn if she wasn't going to do her best. She had a couple more bottles tucked away that she could pull out if they were needed. Shepard let her head fall back to rest on the couch.

"Shit, we should blow up that fucking place on Gellix, too," Jack said.

Shepard snorted and rolled her head to look at Jack, "Yeah, maybe. Did you figure out where they had you yet?"

"Yeah, place called Pragia. I'll send you the coordinates. You serious about taking me there to blow the place up?" Jack asked.

"Absolutely. Can't go right away, but I'll get you there before the shit really hits the fan. You've got my word," Shepard said.

Jack chuckled and pitched her voice to sound more like Shepard before saying, "You've got my word."

"Jack," Shepard said.

"Hmm?" Jack asked.

"Stop being such a bitch," Shepard laughed and reached over to shove Jack's boot.

Jack laughed and sat up to snatch the bottle back from Shepard before settling back against the armrest again.

"So, is it those Cerberus implants and shit that's made those scars fade so fast? I've never seen someone heal up like that before," Jack asked.

"Yeah," Shepard said.

"Damn. I was just thinking you could use some ink but I guess it wouldn't take," Jack said.

"Nah, the tattoo would stay, it would just heal a lot faster. I've actually been thinking about asking you to do some work for me but thought it might be a good idea to make sure – you know – you actually like me before letting you put permanent marks on my skin," Shepard said.

"I like you alright, Shepard. You're not bad for Alliance. Still not going to fuck you, but I like you alright," Jack said.

Heat crept up into Shepard's face and Jack smirked.

"OK, so I checked you out let it go, Jack. I'm not trying to fuck you," Shepard said.

"Right, because I haven't heard that one before," Jack said.

Shepard rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"So what were you wanting done? Don't tell me any stupid shit like a flower or Garrus' name," Jack said.

"A phoenix," Shepard said.

"A phoenix? Well, I guess that's slightly less clichéd," Jack said.

"Yeah, but I think it's fitting. Don't you?" Shepard asked.

Jack seemed to contemplate this for a moment before nodding her head and saying, "Yeah, I can see that. The whole death and rebirth thing. If it fits anyone I guess it's you. You should let me draw you up some concept art."

"Thanks, that'd be awesome. I can't draw for shit. I would have been stuck finding something on the extranet for you to work with," Shepard said.

"Fuck that, that's lame. If you're going to put something permanent on your body you need to make it original – unique. Where do you want it?" Jack asked.

"I was thinking in between my shoulder blades. It's not really meant for the whole world to see or anything… just kind of a reminder for myself," Shepard said.

Jack seemed to completely understand that as she nodded her head and asked, "How big?"

Shepard held out her hands, her fingers curled about six inches apart.

"Yeah, I can work with that," Jack said.

"Shepard, Garrus is on his way to your cabin. Shall I let him in?" EDI asked.

"EDI, you don't have to ask for Garrus. He's always welcome," Shepard said.

"Very well, Shepard," EDI said.

"Unrestricted access, huh? Damn, you two must be serious," Jack said.

"Yeah… we've been through a lot together and he knows me better than anyone else. I trust him completely. That's not so easy for me," Shepard said.

"I get that," Jack said.

The cabin door slid open and Garrus walked in, pausing to sniff around the room before stopping at the top of the stairs.

"Am I uh, am I interrupting something?" Garrus asked.

"Ha! She wishes," Jack said.

Shepard sighed and shook her head before waving Garrus over and patting the couch next to her.

"Nah, Jack's too much of a tease. She 'doesn't do Alliance'," Shepard said making air quotes.

Garrus chuckled and sat down next to Shepard, resting his arm across the back of the couch.

"I keep telling you, Shepard, you Alliance types are boring. You couldn't keep up with me," Jack said with a grin.

Garrus chuffed and said, "I wouldn't count on that one, Jack."

Shepard's face reddened again and she stood up from the couch quickly crossing the room to fetch her stash of alcohol, including turian brandy for Garrus. Jack and Garrus' laughter followed her.

"She know how to let loose in the sack? I don't buy it," Jack said.

Shepard returned to the couch with her arms full of bottles and set them on the table before settling back in next to Garrus and handing him the brandy.

"She's insatiable," Garrus said.

"Fuck you both," Shepard said.

"Hmmm. There's an idea," Garrus said.

Jack snorted and took a pull off of the bottle of rum. Garrus looked at the bottle of brandy in his hands and twisted the lid off.

"No glass?" Garrus asked.

"Glasses are for pussies," Shepard said.

"Damn right. She's a fast learner," Jack said.

"Hmmm. Alright. So what are we drinking to?" Garrus asked.

"We are drinking to the marvel that is how incredibly fucked up Cerberus can be," Shepard said.

"And to blowing shit up," Jack added.

"Right, and to blowing shit up," Shepard said.

"I can drink to that," Garrus said tilting the bottle back.


	33. Chapter 10: Prioridad Número Uno

**A/N:** Due to the massive size of the original chapter 10, and at the urging of my fellow writers, I have separated chapter 10 into two chapters. Chapter 11 will be the second half of the first chapter. Sorry for any inconvenience or confusion.

 **Chapter 10: Prioridad Número Uno**

Shepard paced the hangar in front of a secondary shuttle. She had done everything that she could to prepare Garrus and his team for what they would likely face on Fehl Prime, and although she had complete faith in Garrus' ability to handle the situation, she was a nervous wreck. She was tapped in to their comm system, and Garrus left his mic open for her sake. She was listening as Garrus ordered Grundan Krul to secure the door. Kirrahe and his men had done a better job at keeping the collectors at bay than what Shepard could have anticipated. The collectors hadn't given up though. They were still attacking Fehl Prime, moving in on the clusters of people who had shut themselves inside prefabs and sealed any opening big enough for a seeker to fit through.

Kirrahe and his STG crew were playing cat and mouse with the collectors, causing distractions and sabotaging their attempts to enter the human facilities. The Alliance was doing what it could, but being comprised of human soldiers, that wasn't a lot. Those who had full breather suits were able to move around outside to some degree when swarms weren't present. The breather suits didn't block the swarms abilities to detect them, though, and Shepard had reports of at least one marine being taken by the collectors after a seeker managed to worm it's way in through a breech in the suit. Even when the seekers were unable to penetrate the breather suits, they would zero in on the humans and draw the collector troops to their locations.

The Normandy was positioned as far away from the planet as they could be and still allow for the shuttles to move back and forth between the surface and the ship. Shepard knew that the Normandy's stealth systems weren't enough to keep the collector ship off their asses and had managed to work out a plan with EDI and Legion's help. It was actually Lia's idea; the quarian was already proving to be quite an asset. They left the Normandy outside of visual range, and activated the stealth systems as an extra precaution, but EDI and Legion were scrambling the ship's signals making it appear to collector scanners as if the ship were a turian vessel of a much larger size. Of course, if the collectors decided to come closer to investigate, it would be a pointless endeavor but the hope was that they wouldn't even bother. So far, it looked like the plan was working.

"We've got Alliance and civilians," Garrus said before she heard a faint chuff come through the comm. "Alright, easy, easy. My name is Garrus Vakarian. My team and I were sent by Spectre Commander Shepard. Councilor Anderson might have sent word that we were coming?"

Shepard stopped her pacing to listen more intently.

"Put your damn gun down, pendejo. Do they look like collectors? Dios," a man's voice spoke in the background.

 _"James,"_ Jane said perking up in the back of Shepard's mind.

Shepard recognized the voice right away. Jane's memories were becoming so familiar to her, it was difficult at times to be sure which memories where her own and which came from Jane. She resumed her pacing, though less frantic and more thoughtful. Miranda and Jack watched her from opposite sides of the shuttle.

"Yeah, I recognize you from the vids. You were with the commander on the Citadel but… she's dead," James said.

"Shepard isn't dead. Well, she was, but she isn't anymore. It's complicated. I'll let her explain that when she's able to land," Garrus said.

"Not complicated. Well, process complicated –," Mordin stopped short.

Shepard took that to mean that Garrus had given him 'the look'.

"Point being, we're here to help. There's an STG team here, Shepard sent them. Do you know where they are?" Garrus asked.

"The loco salarians? Last I saw of them they had herded a group of collectors into an empty warehouse and blew the place up. That was about three hours ago," James said.

 _"They're still alive, that's good. Kirrahe was a good choice,"_ Jane said.

"Kirrahe was the only choice. Well, the only solid choice that wasn't going to bring an end to this war before it really started," Shepard thought.

 _"Fair enough,"_ Jane said.

"We've got maps. Grundan Krul, open the map. Can you show us where that warehouse is… I didn't catch your name, I'm sorry," Garrus said.

"Operations Chief James Vega. Yeah, I can show you. I've got a breather suit, I can take you there if you want," James offered.

Shepard broke into the comm and said, "No! Tell him to stay there."

 _"He's a damn good marine, Dawn. He'd be able to handle showing them around. It's not like he'd be out there alone,"_ Jane said.

"I know… but it isn't necessary and it would be a stupid risk. Garrus has got this," Shepard thought.

 _"You're afraid that being there is going to make things go wrong,"_ Jane said.

"And so are you," Shepard thought.

"Vega? Shepard's on the comm insisting that you stay put," Garrus said.

"She's on the comm? Right now?" James asked.

"Patch him through, Garrus," Shepard said.

"She wants to talk to you, I'm patching you through to our channel," Garrus told James.

A moment later Shepard heard the faint click indicating that there was an addition to the comm.

"Operations Chief Vega, this is Commander Shepard it is important that you and as many of the Alliance that are present stay with the civilians. Where is your CO? My reports say a Captain Toni?" Shepard said.

"Hey, how do I know this is really Commander Shepard?" James asked.

"Gods… Garrus, show him the picture you took of me last night," Shepard said.

"Shepard, that uh, that picture maybe isn't the best one –," Garrus started to say.

"Gods, Garrus not that one! The one before," Shepard said pinching the bridge of her nose.

Jane scoffed and Shepard could feel her amusement seeping through the barriers of Shepard's own emotional response. Emotion. That was something else that was getting harder to keep separate.

"Oh, right," Garrus said.

Shepard heard James chuckle before the comms fell silent save the muffling sounds of movement and breathing.

"Yeah so that looks like Commander Shepard but that still doesn't prove anything," James said.

"Fine, Vega, what will it take?" Shepard said growling with frustration.

"Uhhhh, I don't know. Let's just say that I'm willing to suspend judgement. You've got men here to help, we need the help. What's your plan?" James asked.

"Vega, your CO?" Shepard said.

"Oh, right. Captain Toni is with another group of civilians a few buildings down. We've had minimal radio contact, I think his comm is damaged," James said.

"Alright, how many Alliance are at your location? How many civilians?" Shepard asked.

"There's four of us counting me, I'm the ranking officer of those present. There are twenty civilians at this location," James said.

"OK, Vega, show Vakarian what he needs on the maps and be prepared to offer assistance if necessary. In the meantime, stay at your location and protect the civilians. Vakarian and his men are going to locate Kirrahe and the rest of the STG," Shepard said. "Our priority is to secure the data gathered by the STG, but we're not going to leave you high and dry. Once the data is secured we're going to do everything we can to get those sons-of-bitches off this planet."

"I'm guessing you can't tell me what's so important about this data that rescuing this colony isn't prioridad número uno?" James asked.

Shepard hesitated before responding, "It's what's going to help us stop the collectors permanently, Vega."

"Copy that. You better not be bullshitting me, mi amiga," James said.

"Keep yourself alive, Vega, and I'll see you groundside when Vakarian gives the all clear," Shepard said.

 _"If he gives the all clear,"_ Jane said.

"Try to have some faith, Jane," Shepard thought.

 _"I do, that's not what I'm saying. I just don't know what to expect here, Dawn. You've left my field of experience,"_ Jane said.

"Then have faith in my ability to do my job," Shepard thought.

"You got it," James said.

Shepard listened as James pointed out the location of every last known human holdout and the warehouse the STG were last seen. She didn't hear anything else from James as Garrus and his team left the prefab in search of Kirrahe, but she was willing to bet good money he was still listening in. That was fine by her maybe he'd learn a thing or two.

 _"Of course he's still listening,"_ Jane said.

"Mordin, try whatever STG channels you know, see if you can hail Kirrahe," Garrus said.

"Have already. Channels are silent. Probably radio silent for stealth. Can try again," Mordin said.

"Do it," Garrus said.

Shepard heard a click indicating Mordin switching channels a moment later another click indicated he had rejoined their channel.

"Still nothing. Wait, what's that?" Mordin said.

Shepard could hear the sounds of heavy footfalls. She stayed quiet and waited.

"Ah, STG marker. Kirrahe left messages. Must have anticipated I would be with you," Mordin said.

"What's it say?" Garrus asked.

"Ah. Should not go in building. Trapped," Mordin said.

"No indication of where they are?" Garrus asked.

"No," Mordin said.

"We've got company," Grundan Krul said.

"Finally, something to kill," Grunt said.

The next ten minutes were filled with sounds of gunfire and Garrus issuing orders. Shepard caught herself holding her breath twice and had to force herself to breathe again when she started to feel light-headed.

"Clear," Grundan Krul said.

"Anyone wounded?" Garrus asked. "No? Alright, let's move."

Shepard and Jane breathed a sigh of relief.

"Mordin, keep checking those channels," Garrus said.

Shepard ran her hands through her hair as she listened to the sounds of movement coming through over the comm. Things were quiet for the most part, that is until the sound of a sudden explosion made her flinch.

"That's probably them. Move," Garrus ordered.

Shepard could hear only rapid breathing and sounds of running over debris filled terrain for long minutes. Eventually, distant gunfire echoed through and the running slowed down.

"There! Take cover, and move to flank," Garrus ordered.

Shepard listened as the gunfire grew louder and then was joined by the fire and battle cries of Garrus' team. Miranda began to pace the room parallel to Shepard while Jack stayed leaning against the shuttle. After a few minutes, the gunfire stopped and Mordin gave the all clear.

"Is it Kirrahe?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, looks like. We're headed towards them now. Looks like they blew up another building filled with collectors and it drew more to their location. We're clear for now," Garrus responded.

 _"I hope they're leaving at least some of the buildings intact. The point is to save the colony, not destroy it,"_ Jane said.

"No, the point is to gather what data they can and save the colonists. The buildings are complete expendable if it means lives saved," Shepard thought.

"Good," Shepard said.

"Solus! It's about time you joined the fight," a salarian said.

"Rentola. Good. Still alive. Where's Kirrahe?" Mordin asked.

"He's checking the building to make sure there weren't survivors, I'll take you to him," Rentola said.

Shepard muted her mic and turning to Miranda said, "They've met up with the STG team. Rentola is taking them to Kirrahe now. We'll know in a few minutes if they've been able to gather sufficient data."

Miranda nodded and said, "Good, good. Hopefully they have everything Mordin needs."

"Kirrahe, Garrus Vakarian. We met on Virmire," Garrus voice came through the mic.

Shepard turned her attention back to the conversation on the ground.

"Yes, I remember. It is good to see you. Shepard has you leading her team?" Kirrahe asked.

"That's correct. She'll come groundside once the swarms are gone, failing that we'll take you out of here and to her," Garrus said. "What's the situation?"

"Collectors have been slowly retreating. We think that they are cutting their losses, taking what they've already got and preparing to pull out. We have made things as difficult for them as we could and done our best to keep them focused on us and not on the buildings that the colonists are hiding in," Kirrahe said. "We've been able to gather much data, both from the seeker swarms and from the dead collectors as well. I'll transfer what I have to Solus now."

 _"One STG team scaring away the collectors. Impressive,"_ Jane said.

"Did you catch that, Shepard?" Garrus asked.

Shepard unmuted her mic and answered, "Yes, thank you. Ask Kirrahe to transfer the data to you as well, just as a backup incase things go sideways."

"You got it. Kirrahe, send me a copy as well so we've got a backup," Garrus said.

"Not a problem. Will take a couple of minutes to transfer files. Rentola, take  
Tolan and Imness to scout the south passage," Kirrahe said.

"They're transferring the files now," Shepard said to Miranda and Jack.

"Adjustments to the defense cannons almost complete. It will go a lot faster with you here now," Kirrahe said.

 _"That sounds promising,"_ Jane mused.

"What adjustments are you making?" Garrus asked. "I might be able to assist."

"Come, we'll show you," Kirrahe said.

Shepard heard the sounds of movement once more and waved Miranda over.

"I'm turning the mic over to Miranda and taking a break. Have EDI get me if anything happens," Shepard.

"Of course," Miranda said.

"Copy that," Garrus said.

Shepard handed her mic over to Miranda and made her way to the mess hall. When Gardner saw her collapse onto one of the benches he began pulling things out of the refrigerated stasis chamber and put her together a sandwich. He brought the plate over to her with a cup of coffee and sat down across from her.

"How's the ground team holding up?" Gardner asked as Shepard started into the sandwich.

"A couple of fights so far, they've met up with the STG and are securing the data now," Shepard mumbled around the food in her mouth.

"Ha! I knew our boys could handle it. I've got to tell you, Shepard, I wasn't so sure about all the damn aliens you're bringing aboard but they've definitely been earning their keep," Gardner said.

Shepard sipped her coffee and nodded her head.

"The colony isn't out of the woods yet. They're doing something with the colony's cannons, see if they can't get the collectors to give up and clear out," Shepard said.

"Glad to hear it. I'll let you finish your sandwich in peace. One of the stalls in the men's bathroom is acting up," Gardner said standing up from the bench and pulling at the waist of his pants.

"Uh, yeah, I guess you'd better take care of that. Thanks, Gardner," Shepard said.

"That's what I'm here for," Gardner said walking away.

Shepard finished her meal before making her way up to her cabin to take a quick shower. When she returned to the hangar, Jack was gone and Jacob had taken her place. Miranda paced the floor listening intently to the ear piece. She looked up as Shepard approached.

"They're working on the guns still. I think Garrus has found a way to improve on what the salarians were doing," Miranda said.

"Any further collector activity?" Shepard asked.

"No, everything has been quiet where they are," Miranda said handing the mic back to Shepard.

Shepard fit the mic into her ear and pressed the button before speaking, "I'm back Garrus, have you got a time estimate on those guns?"

"Hmmmm. I think I can have this done within the hour, so long as things stay quiet," Garrus said.

"Excellent. You think they'll be able to make it through the collector ship's shields?" Shepard asked.

"If the Thanix cannon on the Normandy can then this can; just won't do as much damage once it's through and we don't have any way to shield ourselves if the ship starts firing back," Garrus said.

"See if you can figure out a way to use the guns remotely," Shepard said.

"Come on, Shepard, who do you think you're talking to here?" Garrus said.

"Yeah, yeah. Just keep me updated," Shepard said.

"Copy that," Garrus said.

"Hey Vega, I know you're listening in. Give me an update," Shepard said.

"Things are quiet here, no activity to report," James said.

"Thanks, Vega," Shepard said.

"No hay problema," James said.

Within a few minutes Shepard was pacing the floor in boredom. She could hear the sounds of muffled conversations coming in over the mic and the occasional growl from Garrus as he worked on the guns. Twenty minutes passed and Shepard sat down in the middle of the hangar. Miranda left and Jacob began reading something on a datapad. Suddenly the sounds of gunfire ripped through the mic and Shepard sprang back to her feet tense and ready for a battle she couldn't fight.

"Protect the guns," Garrus ordered.

Shepard listened with her jaw clenched until the sounds of battle began to ebb.

"We're clear, injuries?" Garrus said. "No? Good, back to the guns."

"Hey, I don't know what you guys did to piss them off but you've got swarms of 'em headed your way," James said breaking his silence.

"Thanks for the heads up," Garrus said.

"Hey man, you sure you guys don't need some backup?" James asked.

"We're good, for now at least. Just stay where you are and keep the civilians safe," Garrus said.

"Yeah, yeah OK," James said.

"There they are," Grunt yelled a few minutes later.

"Shit, they're here, too," James said.

"Shepard, they're hitting us hard. I can't send anyone to help him," Garrus said in between bursts from his assault rifle.

"Don't worry, I got this," James said.

 _"Gods, he's going to do something reckless,"_ Jane said.

"Vega, what are you doing? Don't do anything stupid," Shepard said.

James didn't answer, Shepard strained to hear a sign that he was still there, still listening over the sounds of battle.

"Vega? Vega? James gods damn it!" Shepard yelled.

"I think he cut his mic. We'll get back to him as soon as we can," Garrus said.

"Damn it, yeah," Shepard said.

The sound of an explosion rocked through the mic, Shepard winced and hissed.

"Shepard, you're flaring. Everything alright?" Jacob said.

"What?" Shepard asked.

Jacob pointed down at Shepard's hands. She glanced down and saw that she was pulling biotic energy up around her hands without intending too. Shepard took a deep breath, watching the energy fade away.

 _"Oh…,"_ Jane said.

"What?" Shepard thought.

 _"Nothing, never mind,"_ Jane said.

Shepard tried to push Jane, but Jane retreated further into the back of Shepard's mind. Shepard didn't have time to contemplate what was up with Jane so she turned her attention back to the mic.

"Garrus?" Shepard said into her mic.

"Yeah, that was Kirrahe, we're good," Garrus said.

"Good," Shepard said, nodding to Jacob.

Shepard continued her relentless pacing as her ground team risked their lives without her. Gunfire. Explosions. Pained curses. Aliens fighting more aliens to save human lives. And she couldn't be down there.

"I fucking hate this," Shepard mumbled.

"Yeah, I feel ya. Just doesn't seem right, does it? Standing around up here while they're getting shot at down there," Jacob said.

Shepard shook her head and raked her hands through her hair.

"I'm going to go grab some coffee. You want me to bring you back some?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah, thanks Jacob," Shepard said.

"Sure, no problem," Jacob said as he walked away.

Jacob returned a few minutes later and the sounds of battle were still echoing through Shepard's mic. She stopped her pacing and accepted the cup of coffee from Jacob. She took a tentative sip and smiled, mouthing the words 'thank you'. Jacob smiled and nodded before taking a drink of his own.

When finally the gunfire let up, Shepard felt herself relax.

"One of Kirrahe's men is down," Garrus said. "Still alive but he's hurt pretty bad. I don't think he's going to make it if we don't get him off this planet soon."

"Get those damn guns going and get that collector ship out of there," Shepard said.

"I'm on them now, Shepard," Garrus said.

"Any sign of James?" Shepard asked.

"Nothing yet, Shepard," Garrus said.

"'Course not. Son-of-a-bitch is probably doing something stupid," Shepard said.

They had only ten minutes of peace before another wave hit. Shepard's nerves were on edge. She didn't know how much longer she could listen to her team taking heavy fire before she hopped in a shuttle and made her way groundside.

"Shepard, something big is happening in Vega's direction," Garrus said.

"Big? What do you mean big?" Shepard asked.

"There's a lot of smoke, I don't know Shepard, I'm a little distracted here," Garrus said.

 _"Shit, what is he doing?"_ Jane asked.

"Yeah. Sorry. Thanks, Garrus," Shepard said.

"They're pulling back," Garrus said a few minutes later.

"What?" Shepard asked.

"They're retreating," Garrus said again.

 _"Whatever James did… he's drawing them away,"_ Jane said.

"James. Son of a bitch, are they going after James?" Shepard asked.

"Do you want me to pursue?" Garrus asked.

"Shepard?" Garrus said when Shepard didn't respond right away.

"No. No, stick to the guns. Get them up so we can land," Shepard said.

 _"You're… you're going to let him get killed,"_ Jane said.

"Don't, Jane. Just don't. You know that the data has to come first. James survived this without our interference in your lives, he can do it now," Shepard thought.

 _"But it's different now. It's all different now,"_ Jane said.

"Copy that," Garrus said.

Shepard paced frantically. She knew James liked to take wild risks, at least he did by the time she normally met him. Granted, some of that was because of his unresolved feelings about the way things normally went on Fehl Prime but surely some of that just had to be the soldier's personality. Long minutes stretched out, feeling like hours broken only by the occasional muttered curse from Garrus on the other end of the mic. Shepard tried intermittently to get James to respond but he was still radio silent. Jane had grown silent as well, but Shepard could feel her worry echoing her own. If something happened to James because Shepard changed things… she didn't want to think about it. She didn't want to consider that she might have caused the death of someone else she cared about.

"Hmmm. I think that should do the trick," Garrus said.

"What? You got it?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, I think so. Kirrahe, come take a look," Garrus said.

Shepard could hear Kirrahe through the mic as he rattled off a list of changes and made a humming sound.

"Alright, everyone. On your feet. We're headed back to Vega. Shepard, I've got it set to fire remotely. We're going to put some distance between us and the gun. See if we can find Vega for you," Garrus said.

"Copy that," Shepard said.

Shepard listened to the sounds of footfalls as her ground team ran across the debris fields of Fehl Prime back to Vega's last known location.

"Shepard, the gun is firing. It looks like it's breaking through their barriers. Hopefully it gets off a few shots before they return fire. We're about ten minutes out from where we left Vega. We're seeing a lot of smoke," Garrus said.

"Any sounds of battle… of anything?" Shepard asked.

After a quiet moment of nothing but footfalls and labored breathing Shepard heard the sound of Garrus' mandibles snap tight against his jaw.

"Not yet. I'm sorry, Shepard," Garrus said regretfully.

"Don't apologize. This was my call. Just find him, please," Shepard said.

"I'm on it," Garrus said.

Barely two minutes had passed when Garrus spoke again, "Shepard, I hear gunfire."

"That's a good sign, it means someone is still alive and fighting," Shepard said more to herself than to Garrus.

A few more minutes passed and Shepard was able to hear the gunfire herself coming through the mic. She listened intently as Garrus gave orders to his team and decided on a rendezvous point with Kirrahe. The sounds of battle were growing louder and Shepard's blood began pumping harder in her veins. She hated being stuck on the ship while the others were down their fighting. Her fingers twitched, wanting desperately to pull her gun and take cover.

"Spirits," Garrus' voice came across the mic harsh and low.

"What? What is it Garrus?" Shepard asked.

"I don't even know how to describe it… your man, Vega, he's… spirits," Garrus said.

 _"Oh gods,"_ said Jane.

"Garrus!" Shepard yelled.

"He's alive, Shepard. Relax. He's… hmmm… He's on top of a roof with his men. They've set half the buildings in this area on fire. There's a damn ring of fire circling him. Spirits, there are collector corpses everywhere in the fire between the buildings. We're going to have to put out some of the fire to –," Garrus said.

"No! Don't put out the fire. Not yet. Is it working at all? Is it keeping them back or at least slowing them down?" Shepard asked.

"Hmmm. They're just flying over it… though it does seem like their hesitating," Garrus said.

"Good. That's something. Support him from outside of the fire unless it becomes too dangerous," Shepard said.

"Shepard I think their having trouble flying over the fire," Garrus said. "Mordin just confirmed. Something about intense heat and updraft tearing through their hindwings."

"Good to know –," Shepard started to say.

"Grunt! Damn it," Garrus yelled.

"What –," Shepard said.

"Hey, hey, 'bout time you guys joined the party!" Vega broke through on the mic.

"Grunt just charged through the fire. He's tossing around injured collectors… what's that human saying… like a ragdoll," Garrus said.

Between the imagery of Grunt playing with a ragdoll and hearing Vega's voice, Shepard let a bark of laughter escape her lips before she cut it off and cleared her throat.

"Nice. Vega, you want to tell me what the hell you're doing?" Shepard said.

"Barbecuing collectors and guarding the civilians," James said.

"What the hell happened? I couldn't get you on the radio?" Shepard asked.

"I uh, I lost your channel," James said.

"Bullshit. Why the hell did you cut the mic, Vega?" Shepard asked biting the inside of her cheek to keep herself from yelling at him.

"Because… damn it Jones, get that puta… because I had a feeling you were going to tell me to stay inside. If you really are Shepard, I figured it would be better to get scolded later than to disobey an order," James said.

"For the love of gods, Vega…," Shepard trailed off.

She almost told him that she wasn't even Alliance anymore. Sure they had formally stripped her of her rank, not yet, but they weren't exactly claiming her as one of their own right now. That was a conversation she wanted to have with him in person, though. Of course, she could still pull the Council Spectre card, but they weren't in Council space. Shepard was lost in her own thoughts, listening to the sounds of a battle she couldn't fight when she was startled by the sound of James whooping with delight.

"What's happening?" Shepard asked.

"They're retreating," Garrus said. "I can see shuttles heading back to their ship, it looks like the guns did some damage before they were taken out. Shepard I think this is it, they're pulling out."

"That's right, run you cabrones!" James yelled.

"I'll get my team ready and wait for your all clear. Get those fires put out and get me a causality count," Shepard said.

"Copy that," Garrus said.

"Jacob, get ready. EDI, tell the others to suit up we'll be headed down soon. As soon as that collector ship is gone bring the Normandy in closer," Shepard said.

"You got it," Jacob said.

"At once, Shepard," EDI said.

Twenty minutes later and the rest of her crew were waiting by the shuttles when Shepard returned to the hangar. She paused briefly when she saw Legion and Lia waiting with the others. She took a breath and nodded to herself. Might as well take them down, maybe word that not all geth are the enemy will make its way around and save her some time down the road. She doubted it, but she could hope.

 _"Yeah, because that can't possibly go sideways,"_ Jane said.

"Garrus what's the situation?" Shepard asked.

"The collector ship is gone; we haven't seen any sign that any of them stayed behind except a few that were too wounded to get back to their shuttles. We've taken care of those. Still, there isn't any way to be sure that the swarms left, too. Are you sure you want to risk this?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Even if the swarms are still around, Mordin's little experiment showed us that their venom isn't permanent," Shepard said.

"It's your call. You're clear to land," Garrus said.

"On my way," Shepard said.

She turned to the others waiting for her orders and motioned towards the shuttle.

"Miranda, up front with me. Everyone else –," Shepard said.

"Wait for me, I'm coming with you," Dr. Chakwas said entering the hangar carrying two large medic bags slung over her shoulder.

Jacob jogged over to unburden the doctor, lifting the bags from her shoulders.

"Dr. Chakwas –," Shepard started to say.

"Don't you dare, Commander. I am an Alliance trained doctor, this is my job. Cerberus or not. There are injured people down there and I'm going," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard sighed and said, "Alright. Damn this is going to be a tight fit. EDI send the coordinates for the ground team to the shuttle," Shepard said climbing into a shuttle.

When everyone was situated and the shuttle doors closed, the door to the hangar lowered and they maneuvered the shuttle out into the darkness of space. Legion had curled up into his drop position on the floor between the two rows of benches at the back of the shuttle. The hour long ride passed relatively quickly once Shepard allowed herself to relax. Garrus had reported in letting her know that all of the civilians that were with James and Captain Toni where alive and accounted for. Many of them had mild injuries; some of those were days old. The wounded salarian on Kirrahe's team hadn't made it, and there were two soldiers down. Several more were wounded. It was a good thing that Dr. Chakwas had insisted on coming.

When finally they neared the landing site, Shepard cursed as she saw the extent of the damage done to the buildings Vega sat on fire. There was no way those buildings could be saved, they were going to have to be torn down and new ones built in their place. Vega had saved many of the colonists' lives but had added a hell of a lot of extra work for them when it came time to rebuild.

Shepard landed the shuttle next to the one her ground team had taken. Garrus must have sent someone to bring it to their location. She smiled when she saw Garrus walking towards the shuttle as the door opened.

"Legion, give me a moment to warn them about you before you come out, OK?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

"I'll wait with you, Legion," Lia said.

Legion didn't respond to the young quarian's statement. Shepard stepped out of the shuttle and stopped in front of Garrus. They smiled at each other before Garrus turned to stand beside her and survey the damage with her. Mordin was standing next to a prefab attempting to run scans on an annoyed Grunt; Grunt kept swatting the old salarian away. Grundan Krul leaned against the building watching the scene with a blank face. Civilians milled about the area in small clusters, their fearful eyes darting to the sky every few seconds. Shepard spotted two men in Alliance armor pass by but neither were big enough to be James.

Dr. Chakwas stepped out of the shuttle and asked, "Where are the wounded?"

Garrus turned to take in the doctor before pointing her towards one of the larger buildings that had been saved from Vega's fires. She nodded in thanks before heading towards the building, Jacob walked next to her carrying her bags. Dr. Chakwas paused to talk to Mordin who appeared to give up on trying to scan Grunt and instead followed the doctor inside the building.

"Where's Vega?" Shepard asked.

Garrus eyes scanned the area before he nodded in the direction of someone exiting one of the buildings. Shepard recognized the bear of a man's profile as soon as she laid eyes on him. Vega took off his helmet and stuck it under one arm before spitting on the ground and looking up. Shepard watched as his eyes scanned the area until they spotted her. She tilted her head to the side slightly and waited. It was difficult sometimes to remember that she wasn't supposed to recognize people; wasn't supposed to care so deeply about people she hadn't actually met.

James opened the door and stuck his head back in the building for a moment before sauntering over to where Shepard stood now flanked by Jack and Miranda as well. Kasumi had her cloak activated but Shepard knew she'd be somewhere nearby. Zaeed was walking across the courtyard like he owned the place to lean against the wall next to Grundan Krul. James was half way to Shepard when the door opened behind him and another man emerged. He looked older than Shepard but he was too far away to pin down the details of his face. He walked out of the building and followed James' footsteps. James arrived before the other man and came to a stop in front of Shepard. Shepard stood at parade rest and watched the cogs turn in James' mind as he assessed Shepard. Images from Jane's memories superimposed themselves over the marine's face. A little younger, a little less jaded, the James that stood in front of her wore his hair cut a little closer to the scalp and his face was free of the light stubble she expected to see. A scar was missing just below his lip. She couldn't help the smile that tugged at her mouth when James cursed softly and snapped to a salute.

"Operations Chief James Vega, ma'am," James said.

"At ease, Vega. Is that Captain Toni coming?" Shepard asked.

James relaxed and nodded in response turning his body to watch Captain Toni approach. The captain's slight limp wasn't lost on Shepard but she did her best to pretend not to notice. Shepard saluted out of habit as the captain came within a few feet from her. He stopped and looked at Shepard before nodding his head, acknowledging her salute. Shepard waited in silence taking in the man's stern face and the slightest hint of creases around his eyes. The sun glinted off the occasional gray hair mixed in with the lighter shade of brown. She could see it in the captain's eyes that he doubted she was who she claimed to be, even if it seemed she'd convinced James.

"The Alliance has you reported as dead, Commander," Captain Toni finally spoke.

 _"Maybe you should just release another one of your PSA videos telling the whole galaxy that you're alive again,"_ Jane said.

"I was dead, sir. My corpse was retrieved and using a series of experimental tech, revived over a two year process. I have spoken with the Alliance, they are aware of my… situation and am here now with Councilor Anderson's blessing. My Spectre status has been reinstated. I can wait if you wish to seek confirmation," Shepard said.

Just then a blond headed little girl, no more than seven or eight, came running towards the group. Shepard shifted her gaze to watch as the child yelled James' name before flinging herself at him. James scooped the child up with his free arm and she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. Shepard swallowed hard against the knot in her throat. She remembered that there were people here who James was close to, people who normally would have died on Fehl Prime or be taken by the collectors. This child was clearly someone special to him and she was glad that she was able to save him at least one loss.

"I believe, considering the circumstances, that would be best," Captain Toni said, his eyes shifting to the Cerberus emblem on the side of the shuttles.

Shepard fought back the urge to wince and instead nodded her head. Captain Toni turned and walked back to the building he came from. James sat the child back on her feet and squatted down next to her.

"April, do you know who this is?" James asked the child.

The little girl glanced up at Shepard and Shepard smiled at her. April turned back to James and shook her head.

"That's Commander Shepard. The first human Spectre," James said.

The little girl turned back to Shepard and snapped a salute. Garrus chuckled beside Shepard as she saluted the child in return. Shepard stepped closer to the pair and squatted down on April's other side before extending her hand to the little girl.

"Hello, April. It's nice to meet you," Shepard said.

The little girl took Shepard's hand and held her chin high as she shook it firmly. Shepard caught James' proud smile as he watched the little girl.

"Hello, Commander Shepard. It's nice to meet you, too," April said. "Who are they?"

Shepard glanced back over her shoulder towards Garrus and the others before turning to point at each of them. She whispered to the girl in a low, conspiratorial voice.

"Well, that turian there in the blue armor is Garrus Vakarian. He likes to think he's big and scary but really he's just a cute, cuddly kitten," Shepard said.

April giggled and James snickered. Shepard glanced towards James and smiled before turning back to April.

"Spirits, Shepard. You _know_ I can hear you," Garrus said.

"Yep," Shepard said popping the 'p'. "And that over there is Miranda Lawson."

Miranda smiled at the little girl and said, "Hello."

"Hi," April said. "What about the lady with no hair and all the funny drawings?"

Jack's lips twitched up in a smirk before she turned to look at the child.

"That's Jack," Shepard said.

"Jack is a boy name. How come you didn't say her last name, too?" April asked.

Shepard's eyes stayed on Jack, she saw the briefest flicker of something that looked a lot like pain cross the woman's eyes.

"Well, Jack is really just short for something else but she doesn't usually like for people to know her whole name," Shepard said slowly.

Jack's eyes darted to Shepard's and her lids narrowed. Shepard nodded her head slightly and Jack's lips pursed in response. Jack maneuvered around Miranda to stand in front of April.

"Hey kid," Jack said.

April stuck her hand out at Jack. Shepard raised an eyebrow as Jack hesitated before taking the little girl's hand and giving it a shake.

"Are you in the Alliance, too?" April asked Jack.

"Fuck no," Jack said.

"Jack!" Shepard scolded.

Kasumi giggled from somewhere to Shepard's left. April's eyes searched the area looking for the source of the sound. She gasped in awe when Kasumi dropped her cloak.

"Hello, April. Kasumi Goto at your service," Kasumi said with a slight bow.

Jack shrugged and said, "What Shepard? I don't do well with kids."

James frowned at Jack and stood up. Shepard stood as well and shook her head in dismay.

"April, why don't you go see if anyone needs any help with anything?" James said resting his hand on the girl's shoulder.

Jack shrugged and walked over to the shuttle to lean against the metal frame with her arms crossed. April saluted James, who saluted in return, before running off towards the nearest cluster of civilians. She stopped halfway there and spun around to salute Shepard. Shepard returned the salute and then waved as April ran off.

"So what happens now, Commander?" James asked.

"That depends on your orders and what the colonists want to do. If they want to stay and rebuild or be evacuated. For the love of … Vega why are you looking at me like that?" Shepard asked.

"Sorry, it's just… loco you know? I mean what did they even do to you?" James asked.

"Perhaps I'll give you the details someday, Vega, but now really isn't the time," Shepard said scratching self-consciously at the nearly faded scars.

"Right, yeah," James said.

The door to the building that James and Captain Toni came out of opened once more and the captain made his way back to Shepard.

"Operations Chief Vega, I hope you're not harassing the Commander," Captain Toni said.

"No, sir," James said.

"Commander Shepard, I've spoken with Anderson. We're ready to offer you whatever assistance you require while you're on Fehl Prime," Captain Toni said.

"Thank you, Captain. I'm more interested in what assistance we can offer you during our short stay. If you have a moment, there is a matter of a sensitive nature that I should discuss with you before we move forward," Shepard said.

"Of course," Captain Toni said extending a hand towards the building.

"Garrus, wait by the shuttle. Legion and Lia are still inside," Shepard said.

"You brought Legion? Of course you did. Makes perfect sense, nothing crazy about that," Garrus said shaking his head.

Shepard smirked and said, "You know me so well."

Shepard started walking to the prefab when Captain Toni stopped and turned to James.

"Vega, don't you have something better to do than to follow the commander around while she's here?" Captain Toni asked.

"Yes, sir," James said and started to turn away.

"Actually, Captain, if it's alright with you it might be best for at least some of your men to hear what I have to say. They can help to disseminate the information to the crowds," Shepard said.

"Alright then, Vega, get two of the others," Captain Toni said.

"Aye, aye, Captain," James said before heading towards a different prefab.

Shepard followed Captain Toni into the prefab which he had laid out as his command station. A map of Fehl Prime occupied a large section of the far wall. A desk situated next to a side wall faced out towards the room. Shepard spotted a cane leaning against the metal desk next to the Captain's chair.

"Have a seat, Commander," Captain Toni said.

Shepard didn't really feel like sitting but she felt that the Captain might need to sit himself so she nodded and waited for him to seat himself before taking a chair on the opposite side of his desk.

"We've been getting stragglers making their way into the camp over the last half hour. We've reason to believe that there may be more civilian hold outs spread throughout Fehl Prime. If you are intent on helping us, a search for survivors might be the best way that you can do that," Captain Toni said.

"My team and I will be happy to help with the search. Regretfully, we really will not be able to spare more than a couple of days but we will do our best while we're here," Shepard said.

Captain Toni nodded his head and started to speak but stopped short when the door opened and James entered with two marines behind him. The three men entered the room and saluted standing a few feet away from Shepard.

"At ease," Captain Toni said.

They fell to parade rest and the three of them watched Shepard curiously.

"Commander," Captain Toni said inviting Shepard to speak.

"I'll do my best to answer whatever questions you have about these attacks, but first, I'd like to tell you something about the geth," Shepard started.

"The geth? Are they involved in these attacks?" Captain Toni asked.

"No sir, in fact, the geth are far more complicated than what we realized. I've encountered a geth platform designed to interact with organics. He was able to relay to me information explaining the activity we have noted in the past with Saren and the attacks on the Citadel," Shepard said.

"Interesting. What did this geth tell you?" Captain Toni asked, the skepticism in his voice was not lost on Shepard.

"The geth that joined with Saren were a sub-group and not representative of all geth. As with humans, and any other organic species, there was a division among the geth on whether to join with Saren. Those who did allowed their code to be rewritten, changing them fundamentally from the others who did not join with Saren. There has since been a civil war or sorts, between these two factions of geth," Shepard said.

"Excuse me, Commander. I'm sorry, but am I to understand that you're telling me that what – there are two races of geth at war with one another? Why does this matter to us?" Captain Toni asked.

"It matters to us because those that remained unchanged are not responsible for the attacks on the Citadel. Those that remained unchanged have sought us out and offered themselves in an alliance. They wish to work with us to fight the other faction, those they call 'heretics', and the reapers," Shepard said.

"Officially, the reapers don't exist, Commander," Captain Toni said.

"Officially," Shepard said with a raised eyebrow. "I doubt you made the rank of Captain without learning that what is said to be 'official' is not always the truth. You can choose to accept the politicians' words or mine. Either way, it doesn't change what I have to say right now."

Captain Toni grunted before saying, "Go on."

"The geth platform I have been talking about has joined me in this fight against the collectors as well. He has provided my team with invaluable information detailing any known collector sightings and heretic activity. They don't want war with us – or any other organic for that matter, Captain," Shepard said.

Captain Toni leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers in front of his lips, watching Shepard. After a moment of silence he lowered his hands and leaned forward towards Shepard.

"I take it you have passed this information on to the Alliance already?" Captain Toni asked.

"Councilor Anderson has been informed and has met the geth platform himself," Shepard said.

"So why are you telling me this now, Commander?" Captain Toni asked.

"Because the geth is here with me today," Shepard said.

Captain Toni bolted out of his seat. James and the others shifted around nervously to the side.

 _"And here we go,"_ Jane said.

"You're telling me you brought a geth to this colony? Right after being attacked while we're vulnerable and have wounded?" Captain Toni asked, his voice rising.

Shepard stood slowly to her feet and clasped her hands behind her back.

"His name is Legion and he is one of my team, Captain. I assure you that you are far more of a threat to him than he is to you. I would like for Legion to have the chance to prove himself by helping this colony while we're here but if this is something you are not prepared to handle I will do you the courtesy of escorting him and the rest of my team back to our ship," Shepard said with a cool, level tone.

The captain and the commander stood staring at each other in silence until Captain Toni shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Take me to it. I need to see this myself before I allow it to walk around this colony," Captain Toni finally said.

"Of course," Shepard said.

Shepard led Captain Toni and his men back to the shuttle. Garrus watched their approach, his assault rifle had never left his hands and now Shepard could see him adjusting his grip and watching her for a signal. She shook her head slightly telling him that things were fine and to stand down. Grunt had joined Garrus by the shuttle but Jack and Miranda where nowhere to be seen at the moment. Kasumi was crouched down using a stick to draw in the dirt with a group of children next to a building. She looked Shepard's way when she walked past and Shepard gave her a smile; Kasumi resumed working on her masterpiece.

Shepard stopped next to the shuttle and opened the door. She stuck her head inside and glanced at Lia before locking on to Legion.

"Legion, the Alliance Captain Toni would like to speak with you before you leave the shuttle. Is that acceptable to you?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

Shepard climbed into the shuttle and motioned Captain Toni inside. The captain moved to the shuttle door and paused when his eyes found the geth sitting next to the quarian in the shuttle. Hesitantly he stepped into the shuttle and sat down next to Shepard. James moved to stand next to Garrus both blocking the inside of the shuttle from prying eyes and keeping a close eye on his CO.

"Dios," James said in a hushed tone.

"Captain Toni, this is Legion. Legion, I've told Captain Toni a little about the heretics and the current war with the geth. I've told him about your offer of aid in the war. I think the captain needs to hear some of it from you directly," Shepard said.

Legion turned his head and focused his optics in on Captain Toni, the plating around his optics fluttered as he studied the human captain in silence.

"He's waiting for you to ask your questions, Captain," Lia offered. "Legion doesn't understand the need to respond to simple statements. To him, his acceptance is evidenced by his lack of refusal."

"I see. Thank you Miss…," Captain Toni said.

"Oh, sorry. I'm Lia'Vael nar Ulnay," Lia said.

"Thank you Miss Vael. Are you his… caretaker?" Captain Toni said although his eyes never left Legion.

"What? No, I'm his friend," Lia said.

"Friend? I see," Captain Toni said slowly, his eyebrows twitching in surprise. "Legion, is it?"

"Yes, Legion is the name Shepard-Commander has assigned to us," Legion said.

"You named it?" Captain Toni asked glancing at Shepard.

"If I hadn't he would have just kept calling himself geth and that's just confusing," Shepard said with a shrug.

"I see. Legion, the commander tells me that your… people… are engaged in a civil war," Captain Toni said.

Legion's optics dilated and contracted but he remained silent.

"He meant that as an invitation for you to tell him more," Lia said.

Legion looked at Lia before turning back to Captain Toni.

"Yes, the heretics have attacked the geth. They are attempting to force a programing rewrite on the geth so that we will become heretics, too. We do not want to become heretics, we do not want to worship the old machines," Legion said.

"The old machines?" Captain Toni asked looking to Shepard.

"The reapers," Shepard said.

"The… heretics worship the reapers?" Captain Toni asked Legion.

"Yes," Legion responded.

"And you are what? An Ambassador for the geth?" Captain Toni asked.

"That would be an accurate comparison, yes," Legion said.

"So, you're able to form alliances on behalf of the geth?" Captain Toni asked.

"No," Legion said.

"It doesn't work that way with the geth, Captain," Lia explained. "The geth share thoughts and come to a consensus. Legion's platform has multiple programs running inside of it, they form a consensus together to decide on Legion's responses to external stimuli but in order to offer any sort of statement on behalf of all geth those programs must return to the larger geth program population, share what they know, and form a new consensus."

"So it was decided already that you would attempt to form an alliance with us to fight this war?" Captain Toni asked.

"Yes, the consensus was decided and this platform was sent to find Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

"Why Commander Shepard? Why not the Council?" Captain Toni asked.

"Shepard-Commander opposed the old machines and the heretics while the others failed to come to the correct consensus," Legion said.

"What does that mean?" Captain Toni asked Shepard.

"It means that he sought me out because I made a lot of noise about the reapers and continued to fight even when the Council was busy insisting that the reapers didn't exist," Shepard said.

"Yes," Legion said.

Captain Toni leaned back against the shuttle wall.

"How do you know that it's telling the truth?" Captain Toni asked.

Lia cleared her throat and said, "The geth, although highly intelligent, simply don't understand the purpose of lying. Lying is an organic trait brought on by a social awareness, emotions, and a sense of individuality. Geth simply don't have that. Sure, it is possible for them to lie to organics, but they simply don't see a reason to. The way geth interact with one another, lying is not even possible between geth."

"I see. And Councilor Anderson has allowed this?" Captain Toni asked Shepard.

"He was skeptical initially, but he listened to what I had to say and spoke to Legion himself. He's grateful for whatever help we can get," Shepard said.

"Alright, who am I to argue with the Councilor? I trust that you are prepared to take responsibility for Legion's actions while he is here, Commander?" Captain Toni asked.

"Absolutely," Shepard said.

"Vega, you and the others spread the word. I don't need a riot on my hands when Legion leaves this shuttle. People need to be prepared. All you need to tell them is that some of the geth have allied with us, and that one of their Ambassador's is with Commander Shepard. Make sure they understand that it isn't here to attack them, but to help," Captain Toni said.

"Aye, aye, Captain," Vega said with a salute before turning back to his teammates.

"Give us a few minutes to make sure everyone is ready," Shepard said to Legion and Lia before exiting the shuttle.

Captain Toni seemed more than grateful to leave the confined space. Almost immediately, a crowd began to form around the shuttle. Marines and civilians alike pressed in around each other hoping to steal a glimpse of Legion. Her team reassembled around her, all save Dr. Chakwas who stayed with her patients. When Vega pushed his way back through the crowd to report that everyone had been warned, Shepard opened the shuttle once more.

 _"This could go really, really badly, Dawn. Are you sure you want to do this?"_ Jane said as Shepard's eyes swept over the crowd.

"Yes," Shepard thought.

"Come on out, you two," Shepard said.

Lia was the first to exit the shuttle; hushed murmurs rode through the crowd. She stepped aside leaving room for Legion. The geth ducked his head as he exited the shuttle. The crowd gasped as one. Legion moved his head slowly from left to right, his optics narrowing. Shepard knew that he was examining and cataloging each and every face in the crowd. Shepard watched cautiously as more than one marine tightened their grip on their weapons or rested their hands on holstered guns. She breathed a sigh of relief to see that the Delta Squad was trained well enough to keep their shit together.

"April! No!" A woman's voice broke through the silence.

 _"Fucksake. Gods don't let them start shooting,"_ Jane said.

April wormed her way through the crowd and came running right up to Legion. James moved in to intercept the child and scooped her up in her arms.

"I want to say hello to the geth!" April said squirming to get down.

"Settle down, niñita. You're going to give tu madre a heart attack," James said.

A woman pushed through the crowd towards James but hesitated along the edges of the ring of marines and civilians. The marines shifted around, adjusting their grip on their guns. Their eyes glued to Legion, ready to take action if he made any move against the little girl.

"We acknowledge the human child's greeting and offer greeting in kind," Legion said watching April.

April squirmed and managed to break free of James' grip. Before he could get a hold of her again she was standing in front of the geth and everyone in the crowd was holding their breath. James was right behind April, his hand resting protectively on her shoulder. He shared at look with Shepard and Shepard knew that James had deliberately just placed himself to act as a shield for the geth as much as for the child. He had taken a leap of faith on her word; Shepard smiled reassuringly at James. Some of the tension left the marine's face but he refused to leave April's side.

"I don't know what that means," April said looking up at Legion.

Legion's optic plating fluttered momentarily before he spoke again, "It means hello, human child."

April held her hand out to Legion and said, "My name is April. What's yours?"

Legion took April's hand and gave it a shake. Everyone in the crowd gasped once more. The crowd began murmuring again as the child's mother came to stand at James side, reaching a hand out blindly to find her daughter while keeping terrified eyes on Legion.

"We are called Legion," he said.

"Alright, April, why don't we give Legion some space, OK?" James said.

"OK," April said.

"See, I got this," Shepard thought.

 _"Don't get cocky, Dawn. Those marines could have open fired at any time. Even if you managed to survive, someone here wouldn't have. I hope that this was worth the risk,"_ Jane said.

"Don't be melodramatic. These are Alliance marines, they wouldn't have open fired in the middle of a civilian crowd unless they had no choice," Shepard thought crossly.

April allowed herself to be pulled away by her mother. Slowly the crowd began to dissipate. Kirrahe and the surviving STG made their way through the remaining crowd of people to look at Legion with large blinking eyes.

"Kirrahe, good to see you. I can't thank you enough for what you've done here. I am truly impressed that you were able to help save as many as you did," Shepard said shaking the major's hand. "I owe you one."

Kirrahe smiled and said, "It is good to have a Spectre that thinks she owes me a favor."

Shepard chuckled.

"You sent them here?" Captain Toni asked.

"I helped set it up, yes," Shepard said.

"You knew this was going to happen?" Captain Toni asked.

"I had reason to suspect, I'm sorry Captain Toni but I can't offer you further explanation," Shepard said.

"Fair enough. Whatever the reason, thank you," Captain Toni said before turning his attention to Kirrahe. "And thank you again, Major. I don't think many of us would be left if it weren't for you and your team."

"As Commander Shepard has made clear to us, it is likely only a matter of time before the collectors begin branching out. I am pleased to be able to take whatever preventative measures I can to stop this from becoming a galactic problem," Kirrahe said.

 _"It's already a galactic problem, the rest of the galaxy is just too dense to recognize the threat,"_ Jane said.

"Dr. Chakwas has already begun treating the wounded. Lia, why don't you give her a hand. Miranda, please work with whomever the captain assigns to inventory what we have and what is needed," Shepard said doling out orders. "Mordin, I'm sending you back to the ship to begin analyzing the data. Jacob, you take Mordin and bring the shuttle back. Captain Toni, I could use some of your squad to help with the search. I don't expect you to send everyone, I know many of you need the rest and the civilians need guarding but if you can spare a couple of men who know the area well and would be familiar faces to any civilians we find, it would be appreciated."

"I volunteer, Captain," James said.

"Of course you do, she's your bloody idol," another marine said before saluting his CO.

"And you've just volunteered yourself, Essex. The two of you are under Commander Shepard's command," Captain Toni said.

"Aye, aye, Captain," James and Essex said.

Shepard gave a sidelong glance to James. That was news to her. Sure, in Jane's memories James always saluted her and was showed her disrespect even while acting as her prison guard but he hardly had the deference she would have expected from someone who idolized her. Hell, James was downright insubordinate most of the time. James kept his eyes locked on his CO but Shepard caught the faint hint of red creep up the marine's neck and spread across his cheeks.

"If you'll come with me, I'll get you set up, Miss…," Captain Toni said to Miranda.

"Miranda Lawson," Miranda said accepting the hand that Captain Toni extended.

Shepard watched as Captain Toni led Miranda away and she heard him say, "I must admit, Miss Lawson, that I am not exactly comfortable with the idea of accepting aid from Cerberus…"

Jacob and Mordin climbed into one of the shuttles. Shepard pointed out the building that Dr. Chakwas entered to Lia before turning to James and Essex. The two men turned to her and saluted.

"Oh no, no don't do that," Shepard whined making a distasteful face. "You're not going to be doing that every five minutes. I'll shoot you both myself."

"I'd listen to her if I were you," Garrus said moving to stand next to Shepard.

Essex laughed and dropped his hand before saying, "Well, we wouldn't want that."

James dropped his hand and said, "So, where do you want to start?"

"Idol, huh?" Shepard responded, a mischievous smile creeping across her face.

James scowled at Essex before rubbing at the back of his neck.

"Uhhh, yeah, well I mean you're Commander Shepard. A legend, ya know? You and the Normandy crew… what you guys did on the Citadel and everything. Dios," James said.

"Hmmm," Garrus said.

"Relax, Vega. I'm just giving you a hard time. I'm honored, really," Shepard said. "Let's see those maps of yours; we'll get a search grid set up."

"Kirrahe, are you good to help with the search or do you need to rest?" Shepard asked.

"We can help, not a problem," Kirrahe said.

"Alright, we'll split into three teams. Garrus, you'll take Grunt, Kasumi, Essex, and Grundan Krul. Vega, Jack, Zaeed, and Legion will be with me. Kirrahe, you'll have your STG team. You've been here long enough now that I suspect the civilians will recognize you," said Shepard. "We'll stay in radio contact and do a section by section sweep. I don't want any of us more than a few minutes away from each other in case something happens."

"Excuse me?" a woman's voice spoke up from behind Shepard.

Shepard turned to see a small group of civilians gathered together. Her eyes landed on a young woman, likely in her early twenties who had stepped forward.

"We would like to help you with the search," she said.

Shepard did a quick head count and saw that there were fifteen of them gathered. They all looked to be in decent enough shape to make their way through rubble and debris. There were no children, no elderly, and no wounded among them so Shepard nodded.

"It may not be safe out there," Shepard said.

 _"It will make the search go quicker,"_ Jane said.

"Not uncommon for civilians to help with search parties," Shepard thought.

"We know and we're willing to take that risk. Many of us have family missing, let us help," the woman said.

"What's your name?" Shepard asked.

"Micha," she said.

"Alright Micha, under the condition that you stick with us and follow orders. I can't have any of you wandering off on your own. Can you all do that?" Shepard asked.

Everyone in the group nodded in agreement.

"Are you alright with taking a few of them with your team?" Shepard asked Kirrahe.

The salarians spoke quietly amongst themselves for a minute before Kirrahe nodded.

"Alright, Vega, assign them teams," Shepard said.

"Me?" Vega asked his eyebrows rising.

"You. You know these people, Vega. I don't. You'll have a better idea of where they can be the most useful," Shepard said.

"Uh, alright," James said with a shrug.

"You sure you want to take goddamn civilians, Shepard?" Zaeed asked.

"It's a search team, Zaeed, not a battle that we're walking into," Shepard said.

"Suit yourself but if we find any collector stragglers don't expect me to babysit," Zaeed said.

"I'll keep that in mind, Zaeed," Shepard said rolling her eyes.

Shepard watched as James surveyed the crowd, assigning people to their new teams. She nodded quietly to herself as he worked. With the teams formed, Shepard had James send a copy of the search grid to everyone's omni-tools. Sections on the grid were assigned to each team and they moved out from the camp.


	34. Chapter 11: Ídolo

**A/N:** The original chapter 10 was broken into two parts, now chapters 10 and 11. Sorry for the confusion!

 **Chapter 11: Ídolo**

It was long, slow work as they moved from building to building searching for civilians. Captain Toni was right, within the first two hours Shepard's team alone had found a total of forty civilian survivors held up in buildings. Half of them were dehydrated, and several were wounded. All of them panicked when they saw Legion, but James and the other locals were able to calm them down.

In the third hour, Legion stopped near a partially collapsed three-story building. They had moved away from the living areas and were entering the industrial areas of the mining colony.

"Shepard-Commander, there are life signs coming from this location," Legion said.

"Dios. How can anyone be alive under all of that?" James asked.

"Legion, can you pinpoint exact locations? How many are you seeing?" Shepard asked.

"There are four living organics, we have narrowed down their locations and are mapping the least restrictive route," Legion said.

"Legion, focus on figuring out what pieces of debris can be moved without causing a collapse. If we cause too much shifting, the debris could crush whoever is down there. An organic won't survive that," Shepard said.

"We understand, Shepard-Commander, and are taking this into consideration," Legion said.

"Garrus, Kirrahe?" Shepard said into her comm.

"Yeah?" Garrus said.

"I read," said Kirrahe.

"We've got life signs buried beneath a collapsed building. We're going to be here for a while," Shepard said.

"Do you want us to come to your position?" Garrus asked.

"No, not yet at least. Just stick to your sections and keep moving forward. I'll call you if we need assistance," Shepard said.

"Copy that," Kirrahe said.

"It'll be getting dark soon," Garrus said.

"Yeah, I'll have Vega radio Toni to have someone bring some lights and other supplies out. I'll check back with you in a half hour," Shepard said.

"Copy that," Garrus said.

"Vega, radio Captain Toni and give him the sitrep. We're going to need lights, water, rations, and blankets. Ask him to tell Dr. Chakwas we'll need her out here," Shepard said.

"You got it," James said.

"Shepard-Commander, we believe we have found an acceptable path to the first person. Biotic assistance will help keep the debris from shifting," Legion said.

"Excellent. You hear that Jack, you ready to be a hero?" Shepard asked with a grin.

"Yeah, yeah. Fuck you. Alright, let's do this," Jack said.

"Captain Toni is sending out men with supplies, and your doctor is coming, too," James said walking back up to Shepard.

"Good. Vega, you ready to put those muscles of yours to use?" Shepard asked.

James made a show of flexing but the display was lost to the fact that he was still in armor. Shepard chuckled.

"Alright, Legion, walk us through this," Shepard said.

Legion moved around the area, stepping carefully, each movement carefully orchestrated after running complex mathematical equations to ensure that his steps would not cause the delicately balanced structure to collapse further. Shepard winced every time her less graceful movements caused something to slip. She saw the same reaction several times over on the other human faces around her.

With Legion's guidance, James and Zaeed lifted chunks of metal, broken furniture, and large shards of glass while Jack stabilized the area with her biotic field. Twice something started to slip and Legion was there, his mechanical strength catching things before it all came tumbling down. Shepard used her biotics, meager compared to Jack's, to help stabilize the area where she could. Micha and the other's helped to clear an area further away where Dr. Chakwas could tend to anyone they were able to save. They uncovered several bodies in the process and were carrying them away from the building to lay them out on the grass. Dr. Chakwas arrived in a shuttle with two marines who quickly went to work setting up flood lights and helping the others to clear the area.

"Wait, did you hear that?" James asked, pausing with a cracked tabletop in his hands.

"Yes," Legion responded.

"What? What is it?" Shepard asked.

"I think I heard someone calling for help. I think we're close," James said.

"Yes," Legion said.

"Alright, good. Try talking to them, Vega but keep working," Shepard said.

Shepard made her way to Dr. Chakwas. An hour had passed since they started moving debris and most of her area was cleared.

"Dr. Chakwas, we can hear the first person calling out now. They're conscious and we're getting close. Are you ready?" Shepard asked.

"Of course," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard nodded and activated her mic before taking a couple of steps away.

"We've nearly reached the first survivor. What's your status?" Shepard asked.

"Kirrahe here, we've covered three more sections and are moving on to the next area. We've located another twenty people. We're seeing fewer and fewer of them as we move further away from the Alliance camp," Kirrahe said.

"That was expected, unfortunately. Garrus where's your team?" Shepard asked.

"Shepard, we've found a building with several people… they're refusing to leave and they're acting strange. Something isn't right here," Garrus said.

"Acting strange how?" Shepard asked.

"I don't know… it reminds me a little bit of how you described the people on Feros," Garrus said.

 _"_ _Could there be another thorian here? Or… is it indoctrination?"_ Jane mused.

"Shit, send me your coordinates and back away. Don't engage anyone just wait for me," Shepard said.

"You got it, sending them now," Garrus said.

Shepard checked the thermal clips on her weapons before turning back to Dr. Chakwas.

"Garrus' team may be in trouble. I have to go. I'll leave the others here," Shepard said.

"Alright, Commander," Dr. Chakwas said, watching as Shepard turned on her heel and made her way back to her team.

"You guys good here?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

"Where you going?" Jack asked.

"I've got to get to Garrus' team, they've encountered a situation," Shepard said.

"Situation, right. Whatever," Jack said.

"I'll come with you," James said.

"No, you stay here and move things, pup. I'll go," Zaeed said.

"They need you here, Vega," Shepard said.

"No they don't, I'm just moving heavy shit. Mike or Rammel can do this. I know this place, Commander, and it's getting dark. Take me with you," James said.

Shepard pursed her lips in thought before waving at James.

"Alright, let's go," Shepard said. "We'll be on foot so we'll be running."

"Running? Eh, to hell with that. I'll stay and lift heavy shit," Zaeed said.

James laughed as he carefully set aside a chunk of metal wall and whistled loudly. He waved over one of the civilians. The man was probably in his forties and built like an ox, Shepard remembered his name was Mike and he worked one of the farms. Fehl Prime was a mining colony but someone had to keep the people fed.

"Mike, I'm going with the Commander. One of the other teams needs some help. Take over for me?" James asked the man.

"Sure, where do you need me?" Mike asked.

"Where ever the geth, uh, Legion, tells you to be. You need to listen to him, OK? He knows exactly where the people who are trapped under there are and what you can safely move without crushing them," James said.

"I can do that," Mike said.

"Good. Take turns with Rammel when you need a break. Tell him the same thing," James said.

Micha walked up then and said, "I can help… Jack. I'm not as strong as she is, not by a long shot but maybe I can handle some of the smaller things so she can save her strength for the bigger stuff."

"Jack, you think you can play nice with Micha?" Shepard asked.

"Fuck you, Shepard," Jack growled through clenched teeth as she used her biotics to move a large section of debris.

"I take that as a yes," Shepard said.

"Shepard-Commander, we have uncovered the target," Legion said.

Micha was on her stomach and reaching down into the hole when Shepard yelled, "Micha, wait!"

Micha paused and looked up.

"Dr. Chakwas, we need you over here now," Shepard yelled back towards the doctor.

Dr. Chakwas grabbed a bag and ran towards the dig team. She started assessing her patient, determining what injuries the young woman had and whether it was safe to move her yet. Shepard motioned to James and the two of them left the dig site while Dr. Chakwas gave orders to Mike and Micha on how to move the woman. The others were gathering around to watch in tense silence.

Shepard gave James the coordinates and let him take the lead. The two of them ran through the ruined colony of Fehl Prime, weaving around collapsed prefabs and smoldering fields until Shepard had eyes on Grunt's unmistakable form in the last vestiges of daylight. She scanned the area and soon spotted Garrus and Grundan Krul standing next to the group of civilians they had taken on the search. Shepard couldn't find Kasumi but that was no surprise. Essex wasn't too far away, leaning against a stack of crates. Shepard cursed; she had forgotten for a moment that they had civilians with them.

She tapped her radio and spoke, "Garrus, I'm coming up on your six."

"Yeah, I already heard you and that Vega, he makes damn near as much noise as Grunt," Garrus said.

Garrus turned his head to glance over his shoulder at Shepard and James before returning his eyes to a building about a hundred meters away.

"What is this place, Vega?" Shepard asked as the closed the distance to Garrus.

"Research labs. There are several of them on Fehl Prime," James said.

"What are they researching?" Shepard asked.

James shrugged and said, "Something to do with some prothean ruins nearby. Sorry, Commander, that's all I know."

 _"_ _Prothean ruins… there could be another beacon nearby. But… I don't remember anything prothean causing people to act strange. Reaper and leviathan tech, the thorian sure, but that's about it I think. Maybe they're just being secretive, trying to protect what they've found,"_ Jane said.

"We'll soon find out," Shepard thought.

Shepard and James reached Garrus and the others gathered closer.

"What do we have?" Shepard asked.

"There are at least ten men and women in there. Essex said they do research here, though he isn't sure on what. When we arrived, they were all just calmly going about their business like nothing had happened. The building looks untouched, no one inside seems hurt," Garrus said. "I asked them how they survived the collector attacks but they were evasive. Same thing when I asked what they were working on here. No surprise there really but when I tried to convince them to lock up the labs and head back to the camp until the area has been secured they refused."

"If they aren't hurt I don't see the problem," James said.

"It's just the way they all sounded. I don't know how to explain it Shepard but all of my years in C-Sec are yelling at me that something isn't right here," Garrus said.

Essex spoke up, "They are acting odd but I don't see how it's our concern. We should be looking for people who do need our help."

Shepard glanced toward the building. She hated going in blind, she had gotten far too used to Jane being able to tell her what to expect. She trusted Garrus' instincts so if he said something wasn't right, then something wasn't right. She needed to get the civilians out of here.

"Essex, I want you to lead the civilians back to the camp. If something is wrong here, we need them to get to safety," Shepard said.

 _"_ _You're keeping James with you?"_ Jane asked.

"I am," Shepard thought without explanation.

"Essex could relieve Jack," James said.

"You're a biotic?" Shepard asked.

"A damn good one if I do say so myself," Essex said with a grin.

"Alright, take them and go to these coordinates. We've found survivors buried beneath debris. Jack is working to stabilize the area while others move stuff out of the way. She could probably use a break. Just listen to what Legion tells you to do," Shepard said.

"The geth?" he asked.

"Yeah, is that a problem?" Shepard asked.

"No ma'am," Essex said.

"OK, head out Essex," she said.

Essex gathered up the few civilians that were with Garrus' team and left the way Shepard and James arrived. Shepard motioned to her team, moving them forward towards the building in silence. Shepard sent Grundan Krul to move counter-clockwise around the building while she moved clockwise. Garrus set up a sniper position while Grunt and James took up position by the door. Kasumi moved next to James and disappeared.

Shepard and Grundan Krul moved around the building noting exits and peering into any windows they could reach. Shepard stopped next to a window and glanced inside, staying low and to the side. She saw three men in white and green lab coats standing over a metal slab. Their backs were to the window and they were blocking her view of whatever they had on that slab. She watched a moment longer and one of them moved to the side. Shepard caught a glimpse of a blue glow before another moved and she saw the lifeless eyes of a husk lying on the table.

Shepard activated her mic and spoke in a hushed tone, "I've got three men doing something to a husk on this side. I'm moving forward."

 _"_ _That doesn't really tell us much. There were husks with the collectors. It wouldn't have been too difficult for them to snag one during the battle,"_ Jane said.

"You're right," Shepard thought. "Let's see what else we can find."

Just before Shepard reached the next window, Grundan Krul's voice came through her ear piece.

"There's no one in this room. Just a strange light, I can't see what's making the light it's just there hovering in the middle of some structure," Grundan Krul said.

"Reaper artifact," Shepard and Jane said together.

"I'm coming to your location," Shepard said.

Shepard ducked low and ran along the outer wall of the building. She stopped at the edge of the wall to peer around the corner before continuing on to where she saw Grundan Krul crouched outside of a window halfway down the building. He glanced over at her when he caught sight of her movement. Shepard stopped across from Grundan Krul at the windows other corner and peered inside.

"Fuck," Shepard whispered.

"What is it?" Grundan Krul asked.

"Reaper artifact, I think," Shepard said. "We've seen these before in locations with reaper and heretic activity. Let's get back to the others. I've seen what I need to see."

Grundan Krul nodded and followed Shepard back around to the front of the building. Shepard activated her mic along the way.

"Confirmed reaper and/or heretic tech in the lab. Occupants likely to be indoctrinated. We're moving back your way, prepare for entry and expect hostile activity," Shepard said.

"Copy that," Garrus replied.

"Commander, I should call Captain Toni," James said.

"Belay that, Vega. They likely already know where here, we need to move on this and secure this location immediately," Shepard said.

"You're the boss," James said.

"Vega, I need you to be sure about this if you're going in there with us. You can't hesitate, are you good?" Shepard asked.

"I'm good, Commander," James said.

Shepard and Grundan Krul rounded the corner and met back up with James and Grunt at the same time as Garrus. The door had been locked from the inside. Grundan Krul stepped up and opened his omni-tool, bypassing the doors lock before looking to Shepard. Shepard nodded and Grundan Krul slammed his fist against the door's release and stepped aside. The door slid open and Shepard peered in, the entryway was empty.

She motioned her men inside and they secured the area while she moved into position at the next door. Once her team was in place, Grundan Krul opened the door. Shepard glanced inside and saw four men in lab coats armed with pistols. They started firing at the door and Shepard ducked her head back in cover.

"This is Council Spectre Commander Shepard. Lower your weapons and you won't be harmed," Shepard yelled loud enough for the men in the room to hear her.

They acknowledged her announcement with more shots fired towards her location.

"This is your last warning; lower your weapons, now!" Shepard yelled again.

"The Council has no jurisdiction here, Spectre. You can't stop us. You can't stop any of this!" one of the men said.

The gunfire continued. Shepard nodded to her team before returning fire. She took one of the researchers down with one shot through the chest. Garrus ducked into the room and squatted behind a desk. Shepard shot another researcher in the shoulder. A door opened in the room and several more men and women in lab coats rushed in. Grundan Krul was in next, taking cover opposite of Garrus. Shepard laid covering fire while Grunt charged in and slammed the nearest researcher against a wall, cracking his skull. Kasumi disappeared before reappearing behind one of the men and stabbing him in the kidney. Grunt let the body slump unconscious, probably even dead, to the floor before turning his shotgun on the next man and blasting a hole through his abdomen.

"Dios. They're not even wearing armor," James muttered.

"Keep it together, Vega," Shepard said firing into the room while James moved forward to crouch next to Grundan Krul.

 _"_ _This is going to haunt him,"_ Jane said.

"Cover me," Shepard said.

Garrus sent a spray of rounds from his assault rifle while Shepard ran in and took cover next to him. The researchers were dropping like flies. James was right, this felt wrong these were civilians even if they were firing on her team. Shepard shoved the thought away; it came with the territory sometimes even if she didn't like it. Shepard popped out of cover and put a bullet through the head of a researcher before ducking again.

James grit his teeth and fired his assault rifle at the last two men standing. Shepard stood from cover and moved to secure the door that the others had entered from. Her team moved to her location after making sure that the researchers were down for good. Shepard opened the door and advanced down the hall, stopping as the first door on the right slid open at her approach. She pressed her back against the wall and motioned to her team before peering inside.

Two women in lab coats worked furiously at consoles. Their backs were turned to Shepard as she stepped into the room and leveled her gun at the women.

"Step away from the consoles and get on the ground," Shepard said.

One of the women spun around to face Shepard. Her face was crossed with thin vein-like markings the same eerie blue as the husks. The blue light formed a web down her throat and disappeared beneath her shirt collar. The woman threw her head back and opened her mouth, squaring her shoulders. Shepard didn't know what the hell the woman was going to do but she didn't hesitate, pulling her trigger. The bullet hit the woman in the chest but she didn't go down. The second woman turned and flung a biotic Warp at Shepard. Shepard saw it coming and just barely dodged out of the way, knocking over a chair in the process.

Shepard regained her footing and leveled her pistol at the half-husk woman and fired off three more rounds. The woman took two stumbling steps forward before collapsing on the floor in convulsions. A gray fluid seeped out of her wounds, swirling and mixing with the bright red of her blood. Shepard felt herself thrown back by a Shockwave a heartbeat before the second woman was taken out by Kasumi's shadow strike. Her shoulder slammed into the wall and she groaned as pain lanced through her arm.

"Shit, Commander, you alright?" James asked.

Garrus chuffed followed by a chuckle.

"Yeah, James – Vega, sorry. I'm alright," Shepard said with her own laugh.

She pulled herself to her feet and rotated her shoulder to make sure it wasn't dislocated.

James shrugged and said, "You can call me James. I don't mind. Uh, what's so funny?"

Shepard shook her head but Garrus walked over and patted the marine on his shoulder.

"You think a little toss like that would take Shepard down? Hell, that wasn't even enough to piss her off," Garrus said.

"Yeah, right. I guess I forgot who she was for a minute. I mean she's just so tiny," James said.

Shepard snorted and glanced around the room. She caught a small smile on Grundan Krul's mouth and her eyebrow twitched in surprise. Kasumi was waving her omni-tool over a console.

"Hehehehe," Grunt chuckled.

"Alright, alright. C'mon. You can make fun of me later," Shepard said.

James held up a hand and said, "Hey now, I wasn't making fun, Commander. I'm just saying that, you know, someone your size… that had to really hurt."

Garrus chuffed and said, "You're not helping your case."

"Hehehehe," Grunt chuckled again.

Shepard shook her head and moved back to the door, glancing out into the hall before leaving the room. The next door on the left was locked. She attempted to bypass it herself but it was beyond her capabilities. She motioned to Grundan Krul and he set to work. She had to admit that the batarian was a magician when it came to tech. Ten seconds later and the door slid open. It was the room Shepard saw first, where the men were working on a husk. The husk lay strapped to the slab, its chest cut open and its ribs spread apart but the men were gone. The circular implant that was once on the husk's chest now lay in a metal bowl off to the side. The husk turned its head towards the door and let out a groan, struggling against its bindings.

"Spirits, it's still alive," Garrus said.

Shepard crossed the room and put the barrel of her pistol against the husk's head before pulling the trigger. The shot ripped through the husk's skull, sending gray fluid splattering across the wall on the other side. She turned back around and walked back out of the room without a word.

"So, uh, what are those things?" James asked.

"We call them husks. We fought them a lot when we were after Saren. The geth heretics used reaper technology to turn humans into… that. They're mindless and attack on sight," Garrus said.

"Yeah, we fought some of them with the collectors… so they were human, once?" James asked.

"Yeah," Shepard said.

"So, if the husks were made by reaper tech… and the collectors are using husks, does that mean that the collectors are working with the reapers?" James asked.

"Bingo," Shepard said.

"We've got to tell the Alliance, the Council. I mean, they'll have to get involved then, won't they?" James asked.

Garrus chuffed. Shepard glanced back over her shoulder at James and shook her head at the marine's naiveté.

"I already have, Vega. They aren't paying me much more attention than they did when I warned them about Sovereign," Shepard said.

"Damn," James said seemingly at a loss for words.

"Yeah," Shepard said again before pressing her back against the wall next to a door.

The room held a pile of collector and husk corpses. Each one had been cut open and parts removed. Reaper tech removed. Shepard glanced around the room to make sure no one else was in there before moving on to the next door. The door slid open as they neared it and whoever was inside wasted no time firing out into the hall. Shepard and her team pressed themselves against the walls and returned fire. When the room was clear, Shepard moved in and looked around. There were more slabs set up with dissected collector corpses. The humans – if they could be called that anymore – lay dead on the floor.

Shepard used the toe of her boot to flip a man over onto his back. He had somehow stripped a collector of its chitinous plating and fused it to his own skin. Another man had the same fading blue glow that the half-husk woman did but he also had implanted himself with the chest piece that the husks had.

"Well that's creepy," Kasumi said.

"They did this to themselves? Dios, why?" James asked.

"They have a reaper artifact in the back. It makes people do crazy things. Worse part is, most of the time, they don't even realize they've been indoctrinated. They think these things are their choice, that they're still in control but they've convinced themselves that what they're doing is for the best," Shepard said.

"What about us? Is this going to happen to us?" James asked, the first sign of fear creeping into his voice.

"No, it takes time. These people didn't know what they found. They probably unearthed it somewhere near the prothean ruins and brought it back here to study. They would have been here with it for days, maybe even weeks before they were really gone," Shepard said. "Come on, let's keep moving."

Shepard led them to the next door, and the next, and the next. Most of them were empty save for evidence of horrendous experiments, but a few had researchers still inside scrambling to save their work or determined to defend it from Shepard and her crew. They neared the back of the building where Shepard and Grundan Krul saw the reaper artifact. Unsurprisingly, resistance increased as they got closer. Shepard and her crew were forced to take cover from an unexpected enemy.

Cerberus commandos filed out of the rooms lining the back wall of the building. Shepard ordered her crew to cover as the commandos spread out to form a living wall between Shepard and the room with the reaper artifact. One of the commandos stepped forward and took off his helmet, holding it under his arm he spoke towards the partition James was pressed against.

"Vega, you shouldn't be here," the man said.

Shepard's eyes darted to James. He peered around the partition and looked at the man before ducking back behind the wall. Shepard could see the fire in James' eyes from her location opposite of him.

"Messner? You're with Cerberus?" James asked.

"Mmm. It's too bad that you're here, Vega. I actually liked you. Your friends here are working for Cerberus too, you know. Or did you not see the shuttles they came in?" Messner said.

James' eyes shot to Shepard and she thought she saw the same look of betrayal and disgust flash across his eyes that she remembered seeing so many times in Ashley and Kaidan's eyes. Shepard clenched her jaw and shook her head. She felt something inside of her break. Something inside of Jane break.

"It's not what you think, Vega," Shepard said.

"Dios, it's true? You're with Cerberus? I mean, yeah, I saw the shuttles but when a bunch of aliens walked out I thought… I don't know, I guess I thought you recovered them on a mission or something," James said turning his gun towards Shepard.

"Don't be stupid, Vega," Garrus said pointing his assault rifle at James.

"Vega, listen to me. Yes, I'm working with Cerberus temporarily to take down the collectors. The Council, the Alliance, they weren't able to take real action because the attacks are happening outside of Council space," Shepard said.

"That's right, Vega, we just want to take down the collectors. That's why we're here. We're looking for an antidote to the seeker venom. When we find it, it'll be passed along to Shepard," Messner said.

"Messner was it?" Shepard asked. "I strongly urge you to shut the fuck up. Do not think for even a second that I won't put a bullet through your head."

"Come on, Shepard! We're on the same side here," Messner said.

"No Messner, we're not. We're really, really not," Shepard said. "Vega look at me. I'm still me, Vega. I'm still Commander Shepard. I'm still a Council Spectre. The Council knows of my temporary affiliation with Cerberus, the Alliance knows, too. Alright? This is just the way things need to be for now but I am _not_ one of them."

James licked his lips and slowly nodded his head, turning his attention back to Messner. Garrus lowered his rifle.

"Messner, if you're here looking for an antidote, why are you protecting a reaper artifact?" Shepard asked.

"Shepard, you got it all wrong. This is an excellent find, we're studying this. Learning what we can about the reapers. This will help us win the war, Shepard," Messner said.

"Messner, that's an active reaper artifact in there. It's indoctrinating you. Look around you, Messner. Look at the things that these people have done to themselves. That's not going to help us win the war," Shepard said.

"No, you don't understand. We're learning so much. There is so much knowledge here to be gained, so much that humanity can learn and use," Messner said.

"Screw this, you're insane just like all the rest of these culos," James said before ducking out of cover and firing on Messner.

Shepard turned against the wall and opened fire. Soon, the hall was filled with the deafening sounds of fire and screams of pain. Shepard hit Messner with a Reave, draining the last of the life from the Cerberus operative. Grunt rushed past Shepard and slammed into one of the commandos before ramming the butt of his rifle into the man's helmeted face. Shepard sent a Shockwave down one side of the hall, knocking back three operatives before firing at them. Grundan Krul threw out a proximity mine that triggered as soon as the first commando got back to his feet. The commando was thrown back again.

Shepard pulled another into the air and Garrus shot him back down again. Grunt slammed into another commando and bashed his head repeatedly against the wall before swinging around with his shotgun to blast a lovely dent into the armored chest of another. Kasumi moved invisibly through the hall using overloading the commandos shields and using her shadow strike to stab them when their backs were turned. James finished off the final commando with his assault rifle before turning to look at Shepard, chest heaving.

"I'm sure you have questions, Vega. Let's get this place secure and I'll tell you everything I can," Shepard said.

James licked his lips and nodded. Shepard nodded in return before moving to check on the final rooms. She saved the larger door in the middle of the hall for last, knowing that would be where she would find the artifact. Shepard moved down the hall to the left of the big door. The door at the end of the hall held a living collector. It was suspended in a golden liquid inside of a tank, not dissimilar to the one Grunt had been inside when she first found him.

 _"_ _We can use this,"_ Jane said.

"Are they growing them in tanks?" Grunt asked stepping into the room to stand behind Shepard.

Together they stared at the collector. It didn't seem to be conscious but it was still alive if the beeping of the machines next to the tank were any indication. Shepard pointed to the wound in the collector's side.

"He's been shot," Kasumi said.

"I think they found him on the battlefield. Whatever this is, I think it's keeping him alive. Gods only know why," Shepard said.

"It's weak, you should kill it," Grunt said.

"Maybe…," Shepard said.

"And maybe Mordin can use it," Garrus finished her thought.

Shepard turned to see Garrus leaning against the door frame watching her.

"Is that wrong?" Shepard asked.

Garrus shrugged a shoulder and said, "It's war, Shepard. Do what needs to be done."

"Leave it for now. It isn't going anywhere," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Dawn, you know this could be invaluable. It could give us the edge we're looking for,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah. I know. It just… I don't know. They're like the husks. They were people once, protheans. I mean it's one thing to gather data and run experiments on the dead, but this… it's still alive," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _No it's not. That's not life. Not anymore,"_ Jane said.

Shepard left the room and moved to the next door. She hit the release and the door slid open to reveal containment cells lining the walls. Each cell held a human prisoner. Terrified eyes turned to the door as Shepard walked in. James rushed into the room and the people began to stand, banging on the glass doors of their cells; screaming James' name. James moved to one of the cells and started to open the door.

"Vega, wait," Shepard said.

"Wait? These people are from the colony, they need our help!" James said.

"I know Vega, listen. How long have they been here? That artifact is in the next room. When did you last see these people?" Shepard asked.

Realization struck James like a ton of bricks and slowly he backed away from the cell shaking his head. The woman in the cell he had been about to open began sobbing and banged harder on the glass.

"I… I don't know," James said his eyes scanning over the faces behind the glass. "Before the collectors hit. That was what, two, three days ago? I'm not even sure anymore."

"OK, Vega, listen to me. You need to call Captain Toni and tell him what we've found. Warn him that these colonists might be compromised. There isn't any way to tell for sure, other than to put them under observation but the longer we leave them here the higher the chance of that happening," Shepard said.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll call him now," James said walking out of the room.

"Help us! Oh God, please help us!" the woman yelled.

Shepard approached the glass and looked the woman over. It didn't look as if she had been harmed in any way other than a few bruises. She wasn't implanted with anything and didn't have any fresh scars indicating that they had done anything to her.

"Ma'am, my name is Commander Shepard. I know you're scared and you want to get out of there. Vega is calling this in to his CO, and we're going to try to help you," Shepard said turning around to meet the eyes of every prisoner. "All of you. But for now, for your safety and ours, we have to leave you in there."

"No! No, you can't leave us in here, please!" the woman screamed.

"What's your name?" Shepard asked.

"Samantha," she said.

"Samantha, there is a device in the next room that might have affected you. You may not even realize that it has affected you. But if it has, then letting you out before help arrives could be very dangerous. Do you understand?" Shepard asked.

"Are we sick? Did they make us sick?" Samantha asked frantically.

"I don't know, Samantha. Maybe, it is possible," Shepard said.

"Oh God," Samantha said before sliding down the back of her cell to hid her face in her knees.

 _"_ _That didn't help,"_ Jane said.

"What was I supposed to say?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I… I don't know,"_ Jane said.

Shepard glanced around at the other cells again. They all seemed to have come to the same conclusion as Samantha and looked twice as terrified as they did before. She cursed herself silently before asking Garrus to take the others to check the other rooms.

"Leave the middle room alone for now," Shepard said.

Garrus nodded and left, taking Grundan Krul and Grunt along with him. Shepard let herself sink down into a chair and watched the prisoners until James came back.

"Captain Toni is on his way with the rest of the Delta Squad. They're coming in shuttles to secure the colonists and take them back to the camp for observation," James said.

Shepard nodded and leaned her head back against the wall.

"Shepard, we've got more colonists in cells down here," Garrus said over the comm.

"Alright, I'm coming," Shepard said standing to her feet.

"There are more of them down there. I'm going to go try to calm them down, why don't you stay in here so these people know we're not abandoning them?" Shepard said.

"Yeah," James said, sounding defeated.

Shepard left the room and made her way down the hall to Garrus. Like the last room, this one was lined with glass cells as well, and each cell held a colonist. Shepard did a quick count, there were fourteen people between the two rooms and three of those in the second room were children. Kasumi crouched in front of one of the tanks holding a small girl; she looked to be about the same age as April. Kasumi had her hand pressed to the glass and was talking quietly to the girl through the glass. The little girl stayed curled up in a ball, completely unresponsive to Kasumi. Shepard fought back the urge to go shoot Messner's corpse in the face.

"My name is Commander Shepard. You are safe now. Captain Toni is on his way to move you all to a safe location for observation. We need to be sure that you aren't a danger to anyone before you are released. I know that this has been difficult for all of you, but please try to stay calm," Shepard said.

"Observation? Why the hell do we need to be placed under observation? Let me the hell out of here!" a man yelled.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I can't do that. Please, just try to stay calm," Shepard said.

"Screw that! Let me out of here, now! That's my son over there. My boy needs me, let me out! " the man bellowed.

On cue, the little boy started to wail for his father. Shepard clenched her teeth and walked out into the hall. She paced the floor in front of the dead Cerberus commandos feeling the rage roil up inside of her. She stopped in front of Messner's body and pulled out her pistol. Shepard started firing into the man's corpse. Garrus came running out of the room at the sound of gunfire. His assault rifle was up and his eyes searched the hall for enemy targets. Grunt and Grundan Krul were at his heels. James rushed out from the other room, his movements mimicking Garrus'. Her crew stopped when they realized that there was no threat and Shepard was firing into a dead man.

When Shepard's clip emptied, she pulled the trigger three more times before kicking the dead man instead. Garrus slowly made his way to Shepard and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in against him. She put her head against his armored chest, her own chest heaving and hot tears of rage stinging the back of her eyes.

"Give us a minute," Garrus said.

Garrus held Shepard in silence until her breathing leveled out and she pulled away.

"I'm alright," she said.

"You sure? There are a few more dead people here we can shoot if you want," Garrus said.

Shepard snorted and said, "Nah, waste of good ammo. I'm good."

Twenty minutes later and James reported that Captain Toni had arrived. He was headed back to the front of the facility to lead his team to the colonists. Shepard told Grunt to go with him just in case they missed anyone on the way in. A few minutes later James and Grunt returned leading Captain Toni and his men down the hall. Grunt moved to stand beside Shepard while James fell in line with the rest of the Delta Squad. Captain Toni came to a stop in front of Shepard and she saluted him out of habit.

"Commander, I'm hoping that you can explain to me the horrors I just saw on the way in here and why exactly it is that you haven't released these prisoners?" Captain Toni said.

"Yes, sir. It will be easiest to show you," Shepard said.

Captain Toni nodded and Shepard moved to the door. Grundan Krul hacked through the lock and Shepard hit the door release. The doors slid open to reveal a large, claw-like structure that formed a cage around a floating light. Captain Toni took a few steps forward and Shepard held out a hand to stop him from entering the room.

"You don't want to get too close, sir. This is a reaper artifact. It's not the first of its kind we've seen. With prolonged proximity, the artifact is capable of indoctrinating those around it. I believe that the research team here found the artifact, and not understanding what it was, brought it back here for study. Unfortunately, this exposed them to indoctrination," Shepard said before closing the door again. "The things that you saw on your way in are evidence of the indoctrination process, sir. The men and women of this facility were made insane by the artifact and began experimenting on themselves, using reaper tech harvested from collectors and husks."

Captain Toni watched Shepard in silence before dropping his gaze to the dead bodies at her feet.

"And Cerberus?" Captain Toni asked.

"I was unaware that there was a Cerberus presence here, sir. They claimed to be searching for an antidote to the collector's seeker swarms. I believe that they were indoctrinated as well, however," Shepard said.

"And you killed them?" Captain Toni asked.

"We did, sir," Shepard said.

"Captain Toni, sir?" James said.

Captain Toni turned to look at James.

"That one there, you can't tell it's him anymore, sir, but it was Messner," James said.

"Messner? The merchant?" Captain Toni asked.

"Yes, sir," James said.

Captain Toni turned his gaze back to Shepard and said, "So you think that the colonists being held here might be indoctrinated?"

"It is possible, sir. They could be and not even know it themselves. I recommend taking them in for observation for at least a few days before allowing them to be released back into the general population," Shepard said.

"Where are they?" Captain Toni asked.

Shepard turned and pointed to the two rooms and said, "I recommend taking them out only one or two at a time and securing them for transport. There are… there are children in this room."

Shepard stepped out of the way and let Captain Toni's men do what they had come to do. She walked back to the room with the collector and called EDI.

"EDI, please access whatever files you can from the servers at my location and patch me through to Mordin," Shepard said.

Garrus leaned against the door frame and watched Shepard as she paced.

"Shepard. Very busy with data. How can I help?" Mordin asked.

"Mordin we found a research facility down here full of indoctrinated people. They found a reaper artifact and were foolish enough to bring it back to their labs. They've been doing experiments on collectors and husks taken from the battle field. We found a collector in a tank. I think it's still alive," Shepard said.

"Excellent find, Shepard. Bring it to the Normandy. Will run tests," Mordin said.

"I thought you'd say that. EDI transfer any relevant data to Mordin. I'll get Miranda over here, she'll probably know what to do to keep the collector alive while we move it. Shepard out," she said.

 _"_ _It's the right call, Dawn,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah," Shepard thought although she still wasn't completely convinced.

Captain Toni walked over to the door and peered past Garrus. Garrus didn't step out of the captain's way so he stayed outside of the room.

"They were keeping it alive?" Captain Toni asked.

"Seems so," Garrus said.

"I don't think I've seen anything quite so crazy as this place," Captain Toni said.

"Regretfully, I can't say the same," Garrus said.

"Are you guys taking it with you?" Captain Toni asked nodding towards the collector.

Garrus looked to Shepard and she nodded.

"Mordin might be able to gather some useful information from studying it, something to give us an edge," Shepard said. "How uh, how's the rescue efforts going, sir?"

"Your geth is something special, that's for sure. I've never seen a rescue go so smoothly and so quickly before. They had the third person out when Vega's call came in about this place. What that Legion is doing, I've seen a rescue like that take days," Captain Toni said.

"Good, I'm glad to hear it's going so well," Shepard said. "If you'll excuse me, sir, I need to get Miranda down here to help transport this thing."

"Of course, we're about done with the colonists. Commander, I hate to admit it but I am at a loss as to what to do with that artifact. Clearly it wouldn't be wise to just leave it here," Captain Toni said.

"I'd suggest a strategic explosion, sir," Shepard said.

"Shep, your answer for everything is an explosion," Kasumi said appearing beside Shepard.

"Gets the job done," Shepard said.

Captain Toni's lip twitched in what might have been the start of a smile before he nodded his head and walked back towards the rooms with the cells.

"Miranda, Shepard here, do you copy?" Shepard spoke into her mic.

"Yes, Shepard, I'm here," Miranda's voice responded.

"I need you to take one of the shuttles and come to my location. Ask EDI to program the coordinates for you," Shepard said.

"Right away, Commander," Miranda said.

Shepard stepped back out into the hall and watched as the last of the colonists were being led from the first room. James walked out behind a man holding him firmly by the arm. The man struggled against James and the restraints they had placed on his wrists. James seemed unfazed by the man's attempts to free himself, however, and expertly guided the man down the hall whether he liked it or not.

Shepard and Garrus followed them out of the facility and watched as they were loaded into the last Alliance shuttle and the doors closed behind them. James stood talking with his CO for a moment by the last shuttle. Captain Toni nodded his head and climbed inside leaving James behind. James watched as the shuttle took off and made his way back to Shepard.

"Not going with them?" Shepard asked, painfully aware of how exhausted her voice sounded.

"Building's secure, thought maybe I could ask you some of those questions," James said.

Garrus squeezed Shepard's hand before going back inside. Shepard nodded her head and sat down in the dirt against the wall. She stared up at the night sky while James shifted around nervously, towering over her.

"Sit down, James. I don't bite," Shepard said.

"That's a shame," James said sliding down the wall next to Shepard. "I mean, uh…"

"That's alright James, you're not the first shameless flirt I've met," Shepard said.

"Well, I wouldn't say I'm _shameless_ ," James said leaning his assault rifle against the wall next to him.

Shepard chuckled and asked, "So, what do you want to know first?"

"How'd you end up working with Cerberus? No, wait, how'd you end up back from the dead?" James asked.

"They have the same answer, ultimately. After the Normandy was attacked – by a collector ship, by the way," Shepard said turning her head to look at James.

"No shit?" he asked.

She nodded and continued, "My body was recovered by agents of the Shadow Broker from Alchera. One of my crew got me back from them and handed me over to Cerberus."

"Why would they do that? And why would the Shadow Broker want a dead body?" James asked.

"The Shadow Broker was going to trade me to the collectors. They gave me to Cerberus because Cerberus promised that they could bring me back to life," Shepard said. "So, I was on a metal slab in a Cerberus facility for two years while they pieced me back together and used cybernetic implants to get me up and running again."

Shepard felt Jane retreat into the recesses of her mind. She could feel the agitation teetering on the brink of insanity rolling off of Jane anytime the subject came up. Shepard did her best to avoid details when she had to talk about it because if she didn't, she knew Jane would start her mad ranting about cutting and scraping all over again.

"You're serious?" James asked.

"Yep," Shepard said popping the 'p'.

"Why'd they do it, though?" James asked.

Shepard smirked and said, "Because I was all of humanities 'bloody idol' and because they believed me about the reaper threat. Then human colonies started disappearing. They brought my ass back from the dead to save the galaxy."

"Damn," James whispered.

"Yeah, no pressure or anything," Shepard scoffed.

"So, you stayed with them because they brought you back?" James asked.

"Fuck no. Like I said, I went to the Council and talked to them about the collector attacks. Told them I thought it was connected to the reapers but they just insisted that there was not enough evidence to make such an assertion and that there was nothing they could do about it because all of the abductions where outside of Council space," said Shepard. "Nothing the Alliance could really do either without starting a war. So, they reinstated my Spectre status to give me what support they could and basically told me good luck."

Shepard could feel James' eyes on her as she watched the stars.

"I've been giving Councilor Anderson everything I can find on Cerberus, the collectors, and the reapers. When this is through, I'm going to find the man in charge of Cerberus and I'm going to put a bullet between his eyes," Shepard said.

"Maybe two bullets. One for me, Commander," James said.

 _"_ _Empty the whole damn clip in him,"_ Jane said pulling herself back together again.

"I can do that," Shepard said turning to look at the marine. "You can call me Shepard, James. I'm not giving you orders right now."

James chuckled, "Alright, Shepard. This is seriously FUBAR."

"It's only going to get worse," Shepard said.

"Doesn't it always?" James asked.

"Yeah, seems so," Shepard said.

"Hey, so that Legion, I noticed he's got a piece of N7 armor patched into him. What's that about?" James asked after a minute spent in silence.

Shepard smiled and said, "He went looking for me after the Citadel. Followed my trail as I cleaned up heretic hold outs. Trail ended on Alchera. He found a piece of my old armor and used it to patch part of a much larger hole. I had Jacob help fix him up the rest of the way when we brought him on board. I told him he could keep the N7 bit. I think it's important to him. Well, as important as something like that could be to him."

"Sounds like you're the geth's idol, too. Hey, there's a shuttle coming," James said.

"It's Miranda. I called her. We're taking that collector in the tank back to the ship so Mordin can do his mad scientist thing and help us to figure out ways to fight these sons-of-bitches," Shepard said.

"Need help getting it loaded up?" James asked.

"Yeah, probably. If you're not too tired," Shepard said.

James stood up and extended his hand to Shepard. She slid her palm into his and laughed when he made a show of using far more force than necessary to lift her off the ground.

"Come on, Shepard. I mean, look at me. I don't tire that easy," James said wagging his eyebrows.

"Shameless," Shepard said.

"Nah," James said as the shuttle landed. "I just know I'm good."

Miranda stepped out of the shuttle and walked towards Shepard and James. James let out a soft whistle as he watched Miranda's hips sway. Her mostly white, skin tight uniform really stood out against the dark night.

"She's Cerberus?" James said.

"Yep," Shepard said popping the 'p'. "For now."

"Damn," James said. "What do you mean for now?"

"I'm working on her, Jacob too. They're starting to see what Cerberus really is," Shepard said.

"You think you can get them to leave Cerberus?" James asked.

"In time," Shepard said.

"Hey, introduce me to her," James said.

"Commander, is everything alright?" Miranda asked once she got close enough to be heard.

"Miranda, thanks for coming so fast. I need your expertise. We've found a collector being kept alive in some sort of tank. Similar to what Grunt was in, I need you to help me figure out how to move it back to the Normandy without it dying," Shepard said.

"Wait, Grunt was in a tank?" James asked.

"Yeah, he was… grown, basically, by a krogan warlord attempting to make the perfect krogan," Shepard said.

"Huh," James said.

"A living collector? Intriguing. Has Mordin been informed?" Miranda asked.

"Yeah, he wants it brought back," Shepard said.

"I see, well where is it?" Miranda asked.

"I'll take you in, but first, let me give you the details. The researchers at this facility found a reaper artifact and brought it back to the labs," Shepard began.

"Indoctrinated, then, I suppose?" Miranda asked.

"Exactly. They've been doing experiments on themselves, taking reaper tech from the husks and collectors and using it on themselves. There was a Cerberus presence here. A man called Messner said they were sent here to find an antidote to the seeker venom," Shepard said.

"Was?" Miranda asked.

"Was. They were indoctrinated too; I had no choice but to put them down. We found rooms with colonists being held prisoner. Some children, even. Captain Toni and his men have taken them back to the camp to be held for observation until it can be determined whether they were exposed long enough to be indoctrinated. I had EDI search the facilities files and forward anything relevant to Mordin," said Shepard.

"Children? Very well then, where is the collector?" Miranda asked again.

Shepard nodded her head towards the building and started leading Miranda to the collector. James cleared his throat and glanced at Shepard.

"Right, sorry. James Vega meet Miranda Lawson. Miranda, James," Shepard said over her shoulder.

Miranda stopped long enough to turn to James and shake his hand politely before continuing forward.

"So… uh, you work for Cerberus, huh?" James said.

"I do," Miranda said coolly.

Shepard knew that this was going to end with Miranda walking all over the marine's hopes but she just couldn't help herself from playing devil's advocate.

"You know, James. Miranda is the one that brought me back," Shepard said.

"Really? That's amazing. I'd love to hear –," James started.

"No," Miranda said.

"No?" James asked.

Shepard snickered and tried to cover it with a cough.

 _"_ _That was mean,"_ Jane said.

"Then why are you laughing?" Shepard thought.

"No, you would not like to hear about how I did it, you probably wouldn't understand the first thing about it and no, I am not interested in spending time with you, hooking up with you, getting to know you, or having a drink with you. Does that cover it?" Miranda asked.

"Ouch!" James said with a laugh. "Your loss."

"I highly doubt that," Miranda said.

James hissed and said, "Oh, you wound me. Can't even leave a man his pride."

Shepard glanced back over her shoulder and saw that James had stopped in the hall and covered his heart with both hands. Miranda had a coy smile on her face as she continued to walk.

"I think you'll live, James. Come on," Shepard said.

James jogged to catch back up with Shepard and Miranda as they turned the corner and headed to the room with the collector. Garrus and the others were gathered talking idly amongst themselves when Shepard walked in. Miranda walked straight over to the tank and began examining the equipment keeping the collector alive.

"You set me up, Shepard," James said.

"Maybe," Shepard said with a smile.

"I miss something?" Garrus asked.

"Just James getting his balls taken away from him by Miranda," Shepard said.

"Nah, I still got my cojones. They're too big for her to handle," James said.

"Heh. I bet mine are bigger, pyjack," Grunt said.

"Aaannnnddd I'm going to go talk to Miranda now," Shepard said stepping away from a conversation she really didn't want to hear anymore of.

"What have we got, Miranda?" Shepard asked.

"We're in luck, Commander. The tank is designed in such a way that it can be laid horizontally without problem. We'll be able to move it in the shuttle," Miranda said. "We'll need to disconnect these three devices – I'll spare you the explanation of their function – but when we do we'll have a half hour at most before they must be reconnected. We'll have to move the tank fast, and once it is secure in the shuttle I'll have to use the shuttle to power the devices until we have it back on the Normandy."

"Alright, let's get this thing loaded up. Will you be good to take it to the Normandy alone or do you need someone to ride with you?" Shepard asked.

"It would be best to have someone with me to help keep the tank stabilized as we ascend," Miranda said.

"I can go with her," Grundan Krul said.

"OK, I'll radio the Normandy once you're off to have them meet you in the hangar to get it unloaded. Go ahead and get some rest while you're there. You can bring the shuttle back down in the morning," Shepard said.

Miranda set to work unhooking the life support machines and draping cords and tubes around the tank. The four men moved the tank out to the shuttle while Miranda. Kasumi, and Shepard carried the machinery. Grundan Krul and Miranda got everything hooked back up and plugged into the shuttle's systems before taking off. Shepard radioed the Normandy as she said she would before radioing Jacob to come pick them up in the second shuttle.

When they made it back to the camp they found that the rescue team had returned with all four survivors recovered from the collapsed building. Shepard had expected to see Dr. Chakwas at the bedside of the survivors but was told that she was instead with the colonists who had been retrieved from the research facility. Lia was tending to the survivors instead along with Micha.

Shepard smiled when she found Legion and Jack surrounded by a group of colonists who were thanking them for helping to save their loved ones. Legion somehow managed to look even more uncomfortable than Jack. Shepard made her way over to the two heroes and stood next to Jack who immediately gave Shepard a venomous look. Shepard chuckled and interrupted a woman who was reaching for Jack's hand, tears in her eyes and a joyous smile on her face.

"OK everyone, I know that you are all very grateful to Jack and Legion and want to express that gratitude but I am sure that they could both use some rest after all of their hard work," Shepard said to the small crowd.

The crowd responded with low grumbles but slowly broke apart and went their separate ways.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Jack asked.

"Clearing out a research facility full of indoctrinated psychotic assholes. There's a reaper artifact there, I've got to go talk to Captain Toni about how to go about dealing with it," Shepard said.

"Fuck Shepard, you weren't supposed to have a good excuse. Whatever," Jack said walking away.

Shepard turned her attention to Legion and said, "You did good work out there, Legion. You helped save lives. That means a lot to these people, especially coming from someone they were taught to view as an enemy."

"Yes, Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

Shepard noticed that Legion was holding a small flower in one of his hands. Her lips twitched with amusement.

"What have you got there, Legion?" Shepard asked.

Legion held up the small yellow flower for Shepard to see.

"Asteraceae," Legion said.

"A daisy. That's the common name. Why do you have a daisy?" Shepard asked.

"The human child April gave it to us," Legion said.

"I see. I think that means that she likes you, Legion," Shepard said.

"It will die now," Legion said.

"Mmm, yes. Though I doubt that thought crossed April's mind. She probably just thought it was pretty and that you would like it so she picked it and gave it to you," Shepard said.

"Plants are aesthetically pleasing to humans," Legion said.

Shepard chuckled and turned to walkway. She glanced over her shoulder when she realized that Legion was following her. She made her way to the building Captain Toni was using as his office and knocked on the door. She waited until she heard him grant her permission to enter before going inside.

Kirrahe was standing next to Captain Toni's desk and nodded at Shepard when she stopped to salute the captain. Shepard sat down when he indicated the chair across from him. Captain Toni glanced up at Legion before looking back to Kirrahe and standing to shake the salarian's hand.

"Thank you again, Major. I will be sure that the Alliance doesn't forget what you and your team have done here," Captain Toni said.

"Ah yes, probably best to not publicize our presence here. STG is meant to be a secretive organization. The sentiment, however, is appreciated," Kirrahe said.

"I understand. Have you arranged transportation already? I am sure I can set something up for you if you need me to," Captain Toni said.

"I believe Shepard has plans to take us with her when she leaves," Kirrahe said.

Captain Toni glanced at Shepard and she nodded.

"Very well, then. If there is anything else I can do for you while you're here, please don't hesitate to ask," Captain Toni said.

Kirrahe bowed slightly and turned to leave but Shepard stopped him.

"Kirrahe, you might want to stay for this," she said.

Kirrahe turned to look at Shepard and blinked his eyes slowly before nodding and moving back to stand next to her.

"There's a reaper artifact in a research facility. We've cleared the place of the indoctrinated and brought back their captives for observation," Shepard said. "It leaves us with a reaper artifact sitting in a building not far from where civilians have made their homes. You were on Virmire; you saw what indoctrination can do to people. Obviously we can't use the same tactic we did with the breeding labs on Virmire, but I am interested in hearing any thoughts you might have on safely dealing with the artifact."

Captain Toni frowned. For all of his gratitude, he didn't seem too keen on the idea of sharing this level of intel with the salarians. Shepard didn't care, she knew Kirrahe and she was a Spectre. This wasn't simply a human concern and she would use every available resource she had in this war. The STG was a damn good resource.

"Shepard-Commander, we would like to assist," Legion said.

Shepard glanced at the geth standing behind her still holding his daisy before looking to Kirrahe. Kirrahe nodded his head and ran a finger across his chin in thought.

"We will go at first light and look at the building's surroundings. We may not be able to use as large of a bomb but explosives are still a possibility. Legion's assistance would be invaluable," Kirrahe said.

"In my experience, reaper tech isn't so easily destroyed but it's worth the try," Shepard said.

"I'll need to know before anything gets blown up. We'll need to move people as far away from the facility as we can, and make sure the area is clear of all civilians first," Captain Toni said.

"If any of your men are rested enough, it may not be a bad idea to set up a guard outside of the facility just to make sure that no one wanders in. They should be safe enough for such a short time, but it wouldn't hurt to station them a ways from the facility," Shepard said.

"I've already got men in place, Commander," Captain Toni said.

Shepard nodded and said, "Of course."

"Forgive me, Commander, but you look exhausted. There are a lot of empty houses out there now. It's unfortunate, certainly, but there is no reason for them to remain empty if your crew wishes to rest here," Captain Toni said.

"Thank you, Captain. I think we'll take you up on that offer," Shepard said. "If you'll excuse me, it's past time I ate something as well."

"Certainly, Commander. We'll speak again in the morning," Captain Toni said.

Shepard stood and saluted the captain once more before leaving his office. Kirrahe and Legion left behind her. Kirrahe nodded to Shepard before disappearing into the night but Legion continued to follow Shepard like a lost puppy. She was content to let him do so for now, but she knew she would half to find something for him to do when she was ready to find a place to sleep. She was fond of Legion, but she was not keen on the idea of having the geth standing over her bed while she slept.

 _"_ _You'd have your own personal geth guard,"_ Jane said.

James jogged up to Shepard out of the darkness.

"Hey, Ídolo. Most of your crew is in the mess hall. Thought you might be hungry, too," James said.

"Ídolo?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, you know, idol," James said.

Shepard laughed, "Not Lola, huh?"

"Why would I call you Lola?" James asked.

 _"_ _I liked Lola,"_ Jane said.

Shepard shook her head and said, "Never mind. Food sounds fantastic, James. Then maybe you can help us get settled into some of the empty places for the night."

"You guys are going to just take over someone's house?" James asked with a frown.

"Captain Toni suggested it. Thought it would be better than flying back and forth from the Normandy," Shepard said watching James' face as they walked. "That bothers you, doesn't it?"

"If Captain Toni suggested it, who am I to argue?" James said.

"If you have an alternative, I'm open to suggestions," Shepard said.

"Nah, he's probably right. They're empty and the people who lived there probably aren't coming back home," James said.

Shepard stopped and put a hand on James' arm to bring him to a halt.

"James, I'll make sure that their homes are treated with the upmost respect. You have my word," Shepard said.

James nodded and said, "Yeah, thanks, Ídolo."

James led Shepard into a mess hall and stood in line with her while she got herself a tray. Legion followed behind quietly, his head swiveling around as he took in all of the details of the room. Shepard spotted her crew easily, a handful of aliens stood out like sore thumb in a crowd of humans but there were even more obvious when the crowd was thin as it was this late at night. Shepard slid into a chair next to Garrus. He and Lia were sharing dextro rations brought down from the Normandy.

"Legion, sit with me," Lia said.

"Yes, Creator-Vael," Legion said pulling out the chair next to Lia and sitting down.

James slid into a chair across from Shepard, earning him a few glares from the members of the Delta Squad that sat at the next table. Shepard winced, hoping that she wasn't causing a rift between James and his squad mates. She relaxed when a minute later Essex led the rest of them over to join James at Shepard's table. With unspoken agreement, the conversation remained light. They had all been through hell the last few days and everyone wanted to pretend, if even for just a few minutes, that everything was going to be alright.

Soon, the mess hall had emptied out aside from those sitting with Shepard but one glance around her told her that they were all as exhausted as she felt. She told her crew that they would be spending the night on the ground and that James would help them find a place to crash. The rest of the Delta Squad went their separate ways leaving James to lead Shepard and her crew to the empty homes of people lost in the attack.

The prefabs were big enough to accommodate those of her crew still on the ground in three houses with Shepard sharing a room with Garrus and Dr. Chakwas insisting on staying with her patients. Shepard was relieved when Lia suggested that Legion stay with Dr. Chakwas to help her monitor life signs while the doctor rested. Shepard stopped Legion when she realized that he was still walking around with the daisy in his hand.

"Legion, here, let me see it. I'll hang it upside down for you and it can start to dry out. That will preserve it and then we can take it back to the Normandy with us if you want to keep it," Shepard said.

"Yes, Shepard-Commander," Legion said handing the flower to Shepard.

"Why was he carrying that around anyway?" Garrus asked stifling a yawn as Shepard shut the door behind them.

"That little girl, April gave it to him," Shepard said.

"That matters to him?" Garrus asked.

"I don't know. Probably not the same way it would matter to me, but I think it held some significance. Maybe just evidence of human acceptance of the geth or something," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Maybe he just wasn't sure what else to do with it,"_ Jane said.

"Hmmm, didn't think something like that would really matter to a geth," Garrus said.

"I could be wrong. To most geth platforms it probably wouldn't. Legion has significantly more programs running inside of him than most geth. With more programs comes a higher level of thought processing. In effect, Legion is closer to a true AI than a VI compared to other platforms. Things around him are taking on new meanings," Shepard said.

"Like your N7 armor," Garrus said.

"Exactly. Although I'm not sure he completely realizes it himself," Shepard said hanging the daisy from a tack on a corkboard.

Shepard stripped out of her armor and climbed into the bed next to Garrus. Considering their surroundings, she didn't expect him to remove his armor and didn't ask. She couldn't bear the idea of trying to sleep in hers, though. Shepard pressed her back against Garrus' chest and within minutes was sound asleep.

Morning came far too fast. Shepard was nudged awake by Garrus nuzzling against her neck and planting gentle kisses along her brow. She smiled with her eyes still closed.

"There is a geth standing outside of our door asking if Commander-Shepard is ready to go," Garrus said.

Shepard groaned and sat up on the edge of the bed.

"Give me five minutes Legion, I'll meet you out front," Shepard said towards the bedroom door.

"Yes, Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

Shepard found the rest room before putting her armor back on and checking her thermal clips. She carefully removed the still drying daisy from the corkboard and carried it outside with her. Garrus was waiting for her outside with Legion and the STG. They made their way to one of the shuttles and piled inside. Shepard slid the stem of the daisy through a vent flap before starting the shuttle and taking them back to the facility. She waved at the guards as she climbed out of the shuttle and one of them jogged over to meet her.

"Seen anything?" Shepard asked.

"No ma'am, everything has been quiet. No activity of any kind," the marine said.

"Good. What's your name, Marine?" Shepard asked.

"Service Chief Kamille Johnson, ma'am," she said.

"Alright, thank you Johnson. We're going inside to see if we can figure out how to deal with this mess. You guys keep to your posts but call me if you see anything," Shepard said.

"Aye, aye, Commander," Kamille said with a salute before returning to her post.

Shepard led the others through the building towards the back rooms. Kirrahe's shrewd eyes glanced into each open door they passed, undoubtedly taking in what information he could with each glance and saving it for his reports. When she reached the room with the artifact she opened the door and stepped aside letting the others enter before her. She stuck to the doorway, not wanting to get up close and personal with the artifact if she didn't have to. Legion and the STG didn't seem nearly as uncomfortable around the artifact as she was. Shepard didn't even want to look at the thing; it emanated a sense of wrongness that she swore she felt in her bones. Garrus stood next to her leaning against the door as the others opened omni-tools and began scanning the artifact.

A few minutes later Rentola made his way to Shepard.

"The geth has located a structural weakness in the artifact and has calculated with a 98.3% certainty that the blast radius could be contained to this room and still be effective," Rentola said. "We have the necessary explosives but Kirrahe is waiting for you to clear the matter with Captain Toni."

"Well that makes my life easier, I'll call the captain," Shepard said.

Shepard stepped out into the hall and called up the captain. She paced up and down the hall as she explained the findings to the captain and told him that it was her recommendation that they proceed immediately. It took a few minutes to convince him that this really was the best course of action but finally he relented.

Shepard gave the go ahead to Rentola to set the explosives while she made sure the building was clear. Shepard and Garrus made their way through each of the rooms making sure that nothing of importance had been missed. EDI had already gathered all relevant data from the facilities servers and there was no one – nothing – left alive in the building. She made a round outside of the building to make sure the area was clear before retreating a hundred meters from the building. Shepard gave the warning to the Delta Squad and radioed Garrus to tell them they were clear. Two minutes later, Garrus, Legion, and the STG ran out of the building for Shepard's location. A minute after that and Shepard felt the ground shake beneath her feet with the sound of the explosion.

Shepard waited a few minutes for the smoke to clear before going back inside. Where the room with the artifact once sat, now sat a crumbled mess of twisted metal and burning machinery. The blast had extended into the two adjoining rooms, wiping out the connecting walls and ripping through the cells that lined those walls. The artifact lay in three pieces, half buried beneath the collapsed ceiling. Legion made his way over the destruction and opened his omni-tool running it over the pieces of the artifact.

"The artifact is inert, Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

"Excellent, good work, Legion," Shepard said.

"Perhaps we should do something with the pieces," Garrus said.

"Not a bad idea. We don't know if they can… reactivate or be put back together or whatever," Shepard said.

"Hmmm. What do we do with them?" Garrus asked.

"I guess we could take them out to space. Or maybe melt them down?" Shepard said.

"This is a mining colony, they have a foundry here," Kirrahe said.

"OK, so foundry it is," Shepard said making her way back out.

 _"_ _Probably isn't necessary. It's just tech – advanced tech, but just tech. Not magic, Dawn,"_ Jane said.

"And it doesn't hurt to be extra cautious," Shepard thought.

Shepard gave the thumbs up to Kamille and her fellow marines before putting a call in to Captain Toni.

"Captain, we were successful. The artifact has been destroyed. We'd like to take the pieces to the foundry and melt them down. Can you make that happen, sir?" Shepard asked.

"You think that's necessary, Commander?" Captain Toni asked.

"I don't know, Captain. I think it's better to be safe than sorry," Shepard said.

"I was hoping to avoid having this become public, Commander," Captain Toni said.

"With all due respect, sir, you have a building full of people who were pulled out of here. They may not know the details but they know that there was something here that might have made them sick somehow," Shepard said.

"And that's all they need to know, Commander Shepard," Captain Toni said.

"I understand, Captain. No one at the foundry would need to know what this thing was, or even why we're melting it down, sir," Shepard said.

"Let's make sure of that, Commander," Captain Toni said.

"Yes sir," Shepard said.

"Toni out," he said disconnecting the call.

Shepard waved Kamille over. The woman jogged over to Shepard and saluted.

"Johnson, can you show us where the foundry is?" Shepard asked.

"Yes ma'am," Kamille said.

"Alright, guys I'll bring the shuttle around. Let's get this thing loaded up and out of here," Shepard said over her shoulder.

Shepard pulled the shuttle to the back of the building where the wall was blown away. She opened the shuttle doors and helped the others load the broken artifact pieces into the shuttle. It wasn't easy getting them inside, they had to push and pull, remove one piece to fit in another and then wiggle and shove to get the first piece back inside again. It took nearly an hour to figure out how to make it work. Shepard climbed back into the shuttle, and Kamille having secured formal permission for her and the others to leave their post climbed into the passenger's seat.

Kirrahe kept Rentola with him and sent the other STG back to the camp on foot before climbing into the Alliance shuttle with the other marines, Garrus, and Legion. Kamille directed Shepard across the open field and over the prefab buildings of the colony. Shepard lowered the shuttle down in front of a large building, its roof speckled with chimneys. No smoke rose from the building and Shepard didn't see any activity outside. The Alliance shuttle landed behind her.

"I don't think anyone is here, ma'am," Kamille said.

 _"_ _Then there's no one to explain anything to,"_ Jane said.

"That might be for the best, Johnson," Shepard said, climbing out of the shuttle.

Garrus walked over to stand next to Shepard and looked up at the building.

"Let's see what we've got," Shepard said activating the release on the unlocked door.

The foundry was empty, signs of a struggle made it clear why no one was here working the machines. The lights set on motion detectors flickered on when Shepard stepped inside. She supposed the machines had automatically shut themselves down after a certain time had passed. Garrus made his way towards the looming furnace and a console sprang to life as he approached.

"You know how any of this works?" Shepard asked.

"Not really, but give me five minutes and I'll have it figured out," Garrus said.

Shepard grinned and leaned up to kiss Garrus' mandible.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"For being you," Shepard said.

Shepard walked past Kamille who quickly hid a grin after catching Shepard's display of affection. Shepard chuckled and opened the shuttle door. She stood back and let Legion figure out the puzzle of getting the pieces back out of the shuttle with the help of the other two marines. Kamille had called them Milque and Mason. Once the pieces were out and lying on the ground in front of the building, Shepard helped Legion carry a piece inside. Garrus was leaning against a wall with a smug look on his face. He pointed towards what looked to Shepard like a giant soup pot turned on its side.

They loaded the artifact pieces inside and Garrus turned back to the console. Shepard watched as the pot turned upright and began glowing with its intense heat. Once the metal was melted and poured into molds to cool Shepard put in another call to Captain Toni to tell him the job was done. She left it up to him to decide what to do with it from there. Kamille left with Mason and Milque in the Alliance shuttle while Shepard and her crew climbed back inside the Cerberus shuttle.

Back at the camp Captain Toni met Shepard as she landed the shuttle.

"Commander, I've spoken with Councilor Anderson. The Alliance is sending in a transport team to evacuate the colonists who wish to leave. I've decided it is in the best interest of everyone involved if the colonists you found in the research facility be taken with them for more adequate observation," Captain Toni said.

"I see. Have any of them been behaving oddly so far?" Shepard asked.

"It's hard to say, Commander but quite frankly, I'm not willing to take that chance," Captain Toni said.

"It's your call, Captain. Thank you for letting me know," Shepard said. "I think it's safe to say that the colony is otherwise secured now, sir. I'll be gathering my crew and leaving shortly. If I might ask a favor, sir?"

"What can I do for you, Commander?" Captain Toni asked.

"It would save us significant time if you would lend us the use of a shuttle and someone to pilot it to help transport everyone back to the Normandy," Shepard said.

"I'm sure Vega would be delighted," he said. "Thank you again, Commander."

Captain Toni extended his hand to Shepard gave it a firm shake.

"I'm glad I could help, sir," Shepard said.

Captain Toni turned and walked back to his office. Shepard put in the call to her crew telling them to meet at the shuttles in a half hour. Feeling as if her stomach was trying to devour itself, she made her way to the camp's mess hall to see if there was still breakfast available. She was in luck, the hall was filled mostly with civilians; those who weren't used to getting up quite as early as the soldiers. Shepard took the chance to enjoy fresh, farm grown fruits while she could. The stasis chambers on the ship kept produce fresh but it just wasn't the same.

When she was finished, she handed her empty dishes off to the man collecting abandoned trays from tables before heading back out to the shuttles. James had pulled an Alliance shuttle over next to the two Cerberus shuttles and was leaning with the sole of a boot resting against the blue and white painted car. He pushed himself forward when he saw Shepard coming.

"You're leaving, Ídolo?" James asked.

"Yeah, James. I've got to get back out there and finish building my team. We've got some collector ass to kick," Shepard said.

"Yeah, wish I could go with you and kick a little collector ass myself," James said.

Shepard leaned against the shuttle next to him and looked out over the destruction of the colony, marveling in the resilience of the people who lived there as they went about their lives already rebuilding what they'd lost.

"I'd be proud to have you on the Normandy, James but not while it's flying Cerberus colors," Shepard said.

"Suppose the Alliance wouldn't approve that transfer," James said.

"Probably not," Shepard said.

James turned to face Shepard and held out his hand. Shepard smiled and grabbed his palm in her own letting the man shake her hand.

"It was an honor to meet you, ma'am. I'm ready to load up and get you guys back to your ship whenever you're ready," he said.

"It was an honor to meet you as well, Operations Chief Vega. You did good work here, even if your methods were a bit… extreme," Shepard said.

"Hey, I was just doing what needed to be done," James said.

 _"_ _Goodbye, James,"_ Jane said.

Shepard chuckled and let go of James' hand turning back to the Cerberus shuttles and her gathering crew. She checked to make sure Legion's daisy was still firmly in place in the shuttle's vent before climbing inside and telling everyone to load up. She let them pick which car they rode in, it didn't matter to her so long as everyone got back to the ship safely. When everyone was accounted for, Shepard lifted her shuttle off the ground and aimed it toward the sky.

"Alright, EDI, bring us in," Shepard said.

"At once, Shepard," said EDI.


	35. Chapter 12: I Thought You Were Dead!

**Chapter 12: I Thought You Were Dead!**

Shepard paced in front of the tank holding the collector in the tech labs. Mordin assured her that it wasn't conscious, but she could swear that the black orbs were tracking her movements. It made her skin crawl.

"Are you sure it can't get out of there?" Shepard asked.

"Shepard, will tranquilize you if asked again," Mordin said.

Shepard turned to look at the salarian as he worked at his table. He felt her eyes on her and met her gaze. Shepard squinted her eyes and although she saw the faint hint of a smile around the corners of his mouth she knew at once that he was completely serious.

"Fine, call me as soon as you have something," Shepard said walking towards the door.

Shepard stepped out into the CIC and took the elevator up to her cabin. She stopped in front of her desk and stared down at her closed laptop, lost in thought. Shepard let out a sigh and rubbed her hand up and down her arm trying to chase away the bad feeling the collector left her with. She pulled out her chair and sat down; opening the laptop she checked her messages.

Shepard: I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write. Keelah, things have been… terrible. I tried to talk to Father. I tried to convince him that what he was doing was wrong. At first he tried to deny everything, but when he realized I wasn't going to accept that he simply refused to listen to reason. Keelah… I reported him to the Admiralty Board, Shepard. His trial will start tomorrow. My father will probably be exiled and I'm the one who reported him. At least he'll be alive.

Shepard could almost hear the sorrow dripping from Tali's written words. Her heart ached for her friend, but she knew telling her was the right call. If Tali knew that she had a chance to save her father's life and Shepard hadn't given it to her, Tali would never have forgiven Shepard. Shepard hit reply and started typing.

Tali: I'm sorry to hear that he wouldn't listen. Hell, I'm sorry that any of this is happening at all. If there is anything that I can do, just say the words. I mean that, Tali. Please let me know what the Admiral's decide.

Shepard opened another message from Councilor Anderson.

Shepard: I'd like to speak with you in person about the events on Fehl Prime. Please come to the Citadel at your earliest convenience.

Anderson: We're on our way to Illium now. The Citadel will be our next stop. I'll message you again when we're on our way.

EDI's blue hologram popped up next to the door as soon as Shepard hit the send button.

"ETA to Illium, thirty minutes," EDI said.

"Thanks EDI. Please tell Miranda and Garrus to be ready," Shepard said.

"Certainly, Shepard," EDI said and disappeared.

Miranda had found Shepard minutes after she had boarded the Normandy after leaving Fehl Prime. She was agitated, telling Shepard that she had received an update regarding Oriana. Niket had contacted Lanteia and was offering to move Oriana for Miranda. Shepard had grabbed Miranda's shoulders, much to Miranda's surprise and told Miranda to calm down. Shepard reminded Miranda that this was expected and assured her that they were going to Illium right away. Miranda had stared at Shepard with wide eyes and mumbled something about Niket before breaking away from Shepard and heading to the elevator.

She seemed far more collected when Shepard saw her again a few hours later. She handed Shepard a datapad with confirmation of the docking fees having been paid by Cerberus as well as a detailed report of her sister's itinerary and background information on Niket, Lanteia, Oriana, Oriana's adoptive family, and her father Henry Lawson. Shepard was dumbfounded; Miranda had always held information like this close unless it was strictly necessary. The reports told her everything, including the fact that Oriana was significantly younger than Miranda and still a child when Miranda took her from their father. Miranda had never offered her this information until Niket and Enyala put her in a position where she had to explain herself.

Shepard took her time donning her armor and checking her guns before heading to the cockpit to watch the decent. Shepard rested a hand on Joker's shoulder as she stared at Illium laid out before them. He glanced up at her briefly before turning his attention back to the holographic screens in front of him.

"What's on Illium?" Joker asked.

"A favor for Miranda and two additions for the team," Shepard said.

"Oh yeah? Who are we picking up?" Joker asked.

"Asari Justicar and a drell assassin," Shepard said.

Joker turned to look at her and said, "An assassin? Really? Because we don't have enough deranged people on board."

"Just because he's an assassin doesn't mean he's deranged," Shepard said.

"He kills people for money," Joker said.

"It's just a better skilled, more selective mercenary," Shepard said.

"That makes him deadlier, not less deranged. I mean, have you actually talked to that Zaeed?" Joker said.

"Technically I kill people for money," Shepard said.

"You're making my point for me, Shepard," Joker said swiveling back towards his console.

"Ouch," Shepard said.

"So what's a Justicar?" Joker asked.

"Mmmm. I think the easiest way to explain it is like the religious police," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Gods, don't tell her that,"_ Jane said.

"That is not completely accurate, Shepard," EDI said.

"I know, EDI. I was trying to keep it simple but why don't you go ahead and tell Joker all about the Justicars? I'm headed to the airlock," Shepard said.

"That really isn't necessary, EDI," Joker said.

"Yes it is, EDI!" Shepard hollered back over her shoulder.

Miranda and Garrus were waiting at the airlock for Shepard. They made their way off the ship and out into the entry way of Illium. Shepard glanced out over the Illium skyline, taking in the towering buildings and the crowded airspace filled with skycars coming and going. She took a deep breath as painful memories of finding Liara on Illium raced through her mind. She wouldn't find Liara on Illium this time. Shepard would never see Liara again.

"Don't say it," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Say what?"_ Jane asked.

"That it's my fault," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I wasn't going to, you're thinking it enough for the both of us,"_ Jane said.

"Shepard, what's wrong?" Garrus asked taking a tentative sniff of the air around her.

"Just thinking about Liara," Shepard said.

"She was supposed to be here, on Illium, wasn't she?" Miranda asked.

Shepard nodded her head and swallowed against the thick knot in her throat.

"But something you did before changed things and now Liara is dead," Miranda said.

A low growl rose from Garrus' throat and Miranda shook her head. Shepard took a sharp, deep breath in through her nose and put her hands behind her back, clasping one wrist with the other hand. It gave her a collected look, but really it was the best way that she could keep from punching Miranda in the nose.

"I'm sorry, Commander. That was terribly insensitive. I didn't mean for that to sound so harsh. I'm just trying to understand… everything," Miranda said glancing up as an asari flanked by two LOKI mechs headed their way.

"You mean you're trying to see if there is any chance that things will go wrong for you and your sister," Garrus said.

"Maybe," Miranda said.

"Welcome to Nos Astra," the asari said looking down at a datapad. "My records for your ship indicate that all docking and administrative fees have been paid… by _Cerberus_."

The asari took a closer look at the three of them before glancing back down at her datapad.

"I see. Interesting. My name is Careena. If you have any questions or need any information about the area, please do not hesitate to ask," Careena said.

 _"_ _Well that was a lot less friendly than when Liara's here,"_ Jane said.

"Thank you, but I believe I have all of the information that I need," Shepard said.

"Very well, if you find that you do need something you can find me here," Careena said.

"Thanks, Careena," Shepard said moving past the asari and her mech guards.

"Lanteia said she would meet us in a bar called Eternity," Miranda said as Careena walked back towards the door.

"I know where it's at," Shepard said.

Shepard led Garrus and Miranda through the door that Careena stood next to, watching Shepard and her crew with obvious disdain. They made their way past the customs desk and through another door where she paused once more looking out over the balcony.

 _"_ _It's all still the same. Liara's dead and it's all still the same. Nothing should be the same here, not without her,"_ Jane said. _"How can it all be the same?"_

Shepard swallowed again and gently shook her head before turning to her right and down the stairs. She moved slowly towards an asari standing next to a wall knowing that she would call out to Shepard.

"Excuse me! Excuse me, are you Commander Shepard?" the asari said.

"Yeah, I'm Shepard," she said.

"I thought so, I saw your… I guess you would say aura. I'd recognize you anywhere," the asari said before looking around.

 _"_ _It can't be the same,"_ Jane said.

"I was asked to give you a message if I saw you. It's from a friend you made on Noveria," the asari said.

"Of course," Shepard said.

The asari took a step closer to Shepard and her eyes rolled back in her head. Her mouth began to move with a sub-harmonic, musical voice that was not wholly her own.

"Shepard. We hide. We burrow. We build. But we know that you seek those who soured the songs of our mothers. When the time comes, our voice will join with yours, and our crescendo will burn the darkness clean. Thank you, Shepard. The rachni will sing again, because of you," the asari said.

"What does that mean?" Miranda asked.

"It means the rachni will join us in the war," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Not before the queen gets taken by the reapers,"_ Jane said.

When the asari's eyes returned to their proper position Shepard spoke, wishing to cut the conversation short. She couldn't bear to hear the asari's story again, not right now, not when she was in a place that somehow felt like it shouldn't even exist without Liara. Shepard didn't know how much of that was Jane, but it didn't matter, it felt just as real.

"Thank you, when you see her again please tell her… tell her that she needs to be careful. That those who soured the voices of their mothers will come for them again. Tell her if that happens, if she's taken, I'll set her free again," Shepard said turning away.

"Wait! What do you mean? Commander Shepard, are they in trouble? Please, you have to tell me," the asari said.

"I can't tell you anything more," Shepard said rubbing her forehead. "Just please don't forget what I said."

Shepard walked away with the asari calling after her, begging her to explain herself. She moved Miranda and Garrus between her and the table that Gianna Parasini was sitting at, trying to block herself from the woman's view.

"Holy crap. Shepard? I thought you were dead!" Gianna said.

"Damn it," Shepard whispered before forcing a smile on her face and turning to Gianna's table.

"Hello, Ms. Parasini. I get that a lot these days," Shepard said.

"Please, call me Gianna. I'd ask you what happened but it's probably classified. You, I remember you. You were on Noveria, too," Gianna said to Garrus.

"That I was," Garrus said.

"Well listen, Gianna, it's nice to see you but we're in a bit of a hurry. We have to meet someone about an urgent matter," Shepard said.

"Oh that's alright. I'm working a job so I'll be around for a while. Find me later, Shepard, I still owe you a beer," Gianna said.

"I'll do that, Gianna. Thanks," Shepard said.

Shepard stopped to stare at the staircase around the corner from Gianna's table. Stairs that led up to the office Liara always occupied in Jane's memories. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She wondered if Nyxeris would still be up those stairs if Shepard walked up them. Would the Shadow Broker's agent know who she was? Did she already know Shepard was on Illium?

"Commander?" Miranda said snapping Shepard back to the present.

"Yeah, sorry," Shepard said.

"Commander forgive me but you seem incredibly distracted and if this is going to work, you are going to have to focus," Miranda said.

"I'll be fine, Miranda," Shepard said moving on.

 _"_ _We're always fine. We have to be,"_ Jane said.

They walked past all of the merchants and consoles scattered across floor, dodging asari, salarians, and volus as they went. The floor ended at a staircase leading up, the red letters scrawled across the advertisement banner proclaimed that this was the way to Eternity. Shepard climbed the stairs and rounded another corner. A door slid open revealing steps leading down to a foyer.

"I'm going to have that asshole arrested," an asari said as they walked by.

"Conrad Verner," Shepard said.

"Verner? That guy from the Citadel who had that obsession with you? What about him?" Garrus asked.

"The asshole she's talking about," Shepard said.

"Verner? Here on Illium? How has that idiot not been scooped up as an 'indentured servant'?" Garrus asked making air quotes.

Shepard shrugged, walking up the next flight of stairs she entered Eternity. Shepard stopped inside and looked towards the actual bar where Conrad stood. Shepard let her eyes glide to the side to the asari behind the bar.

 _"_ _Of course it isn't Aethyta. Why would she be here? No Liara to watch over, no Aethyta,"_ Jane said.

"I know," Shepard said aloud.

"You know what?" Garrus asked.

"Nothing. There's Conrad. I'll deal with him later. Come on, Miranda, Lanteia should be right inside there," Shepard said pointing to the side room.

"So not everything is the same," Shepard thought.

Miranda crossed the floor and entered the room ahead of Shepard and Garrus. An asari Shepard recognized as Miranda's contact pushed herself away from the wall.

"Ms. Lawson, good you're here. I don't know who your source was but they were right. Niket got in touch with me and said he was a friend of yours, a friend of Oriana's. He said that your father has sent Eclipse mercenaries to make a sweep hoping to find her and that they'd be looking for you. Said he wanted to help move Oriana and her family to the terminal," Lanteia said. "I told him I'd have to check with you first, I wasn't sure how you wanted me to handle him. I did some asking around though, and I've found out he's working with the Eclipse on this."

"Agree to it, Miranda," Shepard said.

"What?! No! You have to be kidding, Shepard," Miranda said.

"Would you excuse us for a moment?" Shepard said to Lanteia.

The asari shrugged and Shepard held on to Miranda's arm leading her back out of the side room.

"Miranda, listen to me, I don't know what happens if you don't let Niket escort Oriana. I'll be operating blind. I only know how things will work out if you agree to let Niket be her escort," Shepard said. "Hell, you might have already changed things enough to cause a problem by warning Lanteia. I don't know. It's your call, and we'll see this thing through no matter your choice but the more things change the fewer guarantees I can make."

 _"_ _You're right, things have already changed. Who knows if you'll be able to save her sister?"_ Jane said.

"That's not helping, Jane," Shepard thought.

Miranda looked towards the bar, her brow furrowed in thought. After a moment she looked back to Shepard and crossed her arms.

"What happens in this prophecy of yours?" Miranda asked.

Shepard frowned but answered anyway, "Usually you aren't aware of Niket's ulterior motives and you agree to allow him to transport Oriana. We take a skycar to cut off and distract the Eclipse. We fight our way through the cargo terminals, taking down a ton of mercs until we finally get to the dock. When we get there, we find Niket and a merc named Enyala talking with a dock official who won't let anyone through because of the scene we're causing in the terminal. That's when you realize Niket is helping your father and we… take care of things there before going to make sure your sister is safe."

"We take care of things? You mean we kill Niket?" Miranda asked.

"I've seen it go two different ways, Miranda. If you don't shoot him, Enyala will," Shepard said.

Miranda ran her hand through her hair and asked, "Why is he doing this, Shepard? I thought Niket was my friend."

 _"_ _Because you kidnapped your kid sister and your dad's an egomaniacal ass with far too much money to throw around,"_ Jane said.

"Not helping," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _You know, maybe I don't feel like being helpful,"_ Jane said.

"Then do us both a favor and just stay quiet," Shepard thought.

"He's doing it because he honestly thinks that Oriana will have a better life with her father. You didn't tell him that you took her and when your father told him about it he told didn't believe it… until the day you told him. He didn't think that it was right for you to take Oriana when she was so young. You made a choice to leave, she didn't. He contacted your father that night and said he would help get Oriana back," Shepard said.

Miranda glanced towards Lanteia and said, "Either way Niket dies."

"Niket doesn't have to die. If we know you're not going to shoot him, and we know that Enyala will it just means we have to keep her from getting the chance," Garrus said.

"I'm sorry, no. I can't feel right about any of this knowing that Niket is working with my father. I want to be with Oriana in person, to protect her," Miranda said.

 _"_ _Isn't that sweet. You know that this isn't a good idea, right?"_ Jane asked.

"Are you sure about this, Miranda?" Shepard asked.

"I am. Don't worry Shepard, if this goes bad I won't be blaming you. You can rest easy tonight either way," Miranda said.

 _"_ _Why are we even bothering to help her? She knows what's going to happen, if she's going to be such a bitch, why don't you make her deal with this on her own?"_ Jane asked.

"That's not fair, Miranda," Shepard said.

"Isn't it? I know you don't think very highly of me, Shepard. I know you're here now because you want me focused for the mission ahead, and I doubt you would be so opinionated on the matter if it weren't for our little secret," Miranda said.

Miranda turned her back to Shepard and started to walk back to Lanteia.

"That's not true, Miranda," Shepard said. "You don't always make it easy to like you, but I think beneath all that icy bullshit you're actually a good person. And you're resilient as all hell. I admire that."

Miranda stopped in her tracks and dropped her head, studying the ground in front of her. Shepard watched the other woman's back as she slowly turned around. Something flickered across Miranda's eyes before her mask of confident aloofness slid back into place. Shepard wished she knew what it meant.

"Thank you, Commander," Miranda said before making her way back to Lanteia.

"This isn't going to end well," Garrus said.

"Yes it will. I'm going to make sure of it," Shepard said following Miranda.

 _"_ _I guess we'll see,"_ Jane said.

"Tell Niket I'll be handling Oriana's escort," Miranda said.

Lanteia looked at Shepard before nodding her head and saying, "I'll tell him. I've got a car waiting if you're ready to go."

"The sooner we go, the sooner I can know my sister is safe," Miranda said.

"Good. Follow me," Lanteia said leaving the side room.

Lanteia led Shepard and the others to her skycar. Miranda took the passenger seat while Shepard and Garrus climbed in the back. Normally she would snicker at Garrus' struggle to get his long, gangly legs tucked into the back seat but she wasn't feeling very humorous. The car took off and merged with the air traffic of Illium as Shepard stared out of the window. Garrus slipped her hand into his and gave it a gentle squeeze. She turned to look at him, doing her best to give him a smile but it only caused his brow plating to furrow. She settled for squeezing his hand in return before absently stroking her thumb back and forth across the top of his hand.

A few minutes later Lanteia lowered the skycar next to a busy terminal. The doors opened and Shepard climbed out after Miranda. Lanteia checked something on her omni-tool before pointing down a corridor.

"Oriana and her family should be coming in from down there," Lanteia said. "How do you want to do this?"

"Garrus and I can check out the area, look for any sign of Niket or the Eclipse while you and Lanteia wait for Oriana," Shepard suggested.

"Alright. Thank you, Commander," Miranda said.

"Sure," Shepard said as she and Garrus started to walk away.

"And Shepard?" Miranda called after her.

Shepard turned back around a few feet away, Miranda moved closer to her.

"I'm sorry. What I said earlier, you're right, it wasn't fair of me," Miranda said.

"It's OK, Miranda. I get it, you're worried about your sister," said Shepard.

"I am, but that isn't an excuse. I've never been very good at… being a good person. All my life people have only seen me for what I can do for them. None of them really cared about me, not really. I guess I learned to expect the worst from others," Miranda said.

"Don't worry about it, Miranda. I've got tougher skin than that. Let's just focus on getting your sister out of here safely and we can talk more later if you still feel like you need to explain yourself. Deal?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _Need I remind you that she had control chips put in our skull?"_ Jane asked.

"I haven't forgotten," Shepard thought.

Miranda smiled and said, "Deal."

Miranda and Lanteia made their way down the corridor while Shepard and Garrus began scoping out the place. Garrus glanced around the ceiling and pointed up. Shepard followed his finger and saw he was pointing at the catwalks.

"Good idea, I'll stay down here," Shepard said.

"I'll keep you on the radio," Garrus said as he jogged off in the opposite direction from Miranda and Lanteia.

Shepard checked her radio to make sure her mic was opened and began moving through the crowded terminal. Eclipse was primarily composed of asari, humans, and salarians. Nearly everyone in the damn terminal was either asari, human, or salarian but she saw none wearing the gaudy yellow armor marking them as Eclipse mercs. Garrus checked in to let her know that he was on the catwalks and hadn't yet seen any mercs either.

Shepard continued to weave her way through the crowd heading towards Miranda's location. A man bumped into Shepard causing him to drop the briefcase he had been carrying, spilling the contents across the floor.

"Crap! I'm so sorry," he said bending down to gather up lost datapads and file folders.

Shepard knelt down to help the man collect his belongings when the first echo of gunfire hit her ears. She stayed low and scanned the area, seeing people running from the corridor Miranda and Lanteia had walked down.

"Fuck," Shepard said before shoving the datapad in her hand at the man.

 _"_ _Of course,"_ Jane said.

Shepard rose to her feet and drew her pistol before making her way towards the corridor, pushing frantic people out of her way as they raced past her.

"Garrus, where are you?" Shepard asked.

"I'm about three yards behind you moving in your direction," Garrus replied.

"Miranda what's happening?" Shepard asked.

Miranda didn't respond. Shepard heard more gunshots along with more panicked screaming as people ran from the corridor.

"Miranda?" Shepard said again.

Shepard was half way down the corridor when she caught her first glimpse of the action. A figure in yellow armor flew across the terminal before disappearing from her sight. Shepard continued to run down the corridor towards the terminal, the fleeing crowd thinning out as she went. A sound overhead caught her attention and she glanced up to see Garrus passing her on the catwalks before disappearing in the shadows.

Shepard reached the end of the corridor and pressed her back against the wall; to her left everything was clear. She leaned around the edge of the wall and looked to her right. Lanteia sat on the floor with her back against a raised planter. Her hand pressed against a wound in her side as deep purple blood pooled on the floor around her, staining her hand and clothes. Miranda was a few feet ahead of her ducking behind another planter. Oriana stood in the middle of the room with Enyala's arm wrapped around her chest. Enyala held a gun pointed at Miranda's location, her arm stretching out past Oriana's shoulder.

"You said we would do this my way!" a man's voice rang out.

Shepard followed the sound until she found the source. Niket stood in a similar position as Oriana, an Eclipse merc holding a gun to his head.

"The boss wants the girl, it doesn't matter how he gets her. I get paid either way, Niket," Enyala said. "Now tell your whore to throw down her gun before things really get ugly."

"Daddy, oh god, Daddy," Oriana sobbed.

Shepard glanced around until she saw Oriana's father laying in a pool of his own blood, her mother kneeling beside him holding his head in her lap. She whipped her head back and forth between her dying husband and her captured daughter.

"Miranda, please. Just do what she says," Niket yelled across the room.

"Screw you Niket! This is your fault!" Miranda yelled.

A few more Eclipse mercs lined the area behind Niket watching and waiting for orders. Aside from Oriana's father, three civilians lay dead spread across the terminal.

"I'm in position, I have a shot," Garrus said.

"Take it," Shepard said.

Enyala's head jerked back as blood exploded from the back of her skull. Her eyes widened as her arms slowly dropped, her pistol clattered to the floor. Oriana's mother screamed. The merc holding Niket pulled the trigger, shooting Niket through the temple. Enyala's body crumpled to the floor. Shepard stepped out of cover and fired three rounds at the merc who killed Niket. Oriana fell to her knees before scrambling towards her mother.

The echo of Garrus' sniper rifle tore through the air as he hit another merc, the shot went through the side of the mercs helmet, ripping chunks off and revealing half of the man's bloodied face. It wasn't enough to kill him though, the merc kept moving but instead of trying to head off Oriana he dove for cover. Miranda rose to her feet and broke into a full run, heading straight across the terminal to Oriana.

"Miranda! No, stay in cover!" Shepard yelled.

 _"_ _She's going to get herself killed,"_ Jane said.

Oriana reached her parents just as a bullet ripped through Miranda's shoulder. Miranda screamed in pain but kept moving. Shepard fired at the mercs to the right of Miranda, unwilling to risk shooting across Miranda's trajectory. Another shot from Garrus' sniper rifle kept the mercs on Miranda's left ducking for cover. Miranda made it to her sister and dropped to the floor next to them. A heartbeat later Miranda extended a domed biotic field around her sister and her family. It wouldn't stop bullets but it would slow them down, deflect them maybe just enough to save a life. It was foolish, desperate attempt to save her sister's life when in all likelihood it would only result in Miranda's death. The mercs wouldn't have shot Oriana, she was their meal ticket.

Shepard raced for the planter Lanteia was sitting against and crouched next to the asari. She fired four more shots over the top of the planter before crouching back down again. She opened her omni-tool and pulled up the medi-gel dispense application before firing over the top of the planter once more. She set her pistol on the ground long enough to rip open Lanteia's shirt, and the asari screamed in pain. Shepard picked the pistol up again and fired off a couple more rounds, keeping the mercs attention on her and off of Miranda the best she could.

"It's still in there… no exit wound," Lanteia said through panting breaths.

"Shit. This will stop the bleeding for now, but it's still going to hurt like a motherfucker," Shepard said.

Lanteia nodded and Shepard applied the medi-gel. A merc got ballsy or just stupid and decided to try to make a run for Oriana. He got five feet out of cover before Garrus' shot him in the knee. Shepard heard Garrus chuckle through her radio as the man fell to the ground screaming in agony. Shepard wrapped a second merc up in a biotic Reave while Lanteia rolled over and pulled herself to a crouched position.

"Stay down, or you'll only cause more damage," Shepard said.

"I don't think so, those assholes shot me," Lanteia said before throwing out a singularity just above a planter where two mercs where hiding.

The mercs were pulled up into the air to move slowly around the spinning ball of dark energy. Shepard and Garrus shot at them until they were dead mercs spinning around. The merc Garrus shot in the knee pulled himself up on his one good knee and started trying to crawl for cover. Garrus chuckled and shot him in the arm making him collapse back to the ground again.

"Garrus!" Shepard said.

"I'm here, Shepard," Garrus said.

"Stop toying with him and kill him damn it, I need to get Miranda out of there," Shepard said.

"Right, you got it," Garrus said.

Shepard heard the sounds of Garrus reloading his sniper rifle before another shot rang out taking the merc in the head. Shepard ran out of cover and raced for a row of benches backed against a low wall. A bullet tore through Miranda's barrier and lodged itself in her thigh. She screamed in agony as her barrier flickered. Miranda closed her eyes and clenched her jaw, focusing she pushed the barrier back into place. Oriana screamed in her mother's arms. Movement to the side caught Shepard's attention and she turned, pulling up her pistol. A salarian lay cowering beneath another set of benches, his knees pulled up to his chest. Shepard duck-walked her way over to the end of her row of benches before rolling forward to the next set.

"Are you hurt?" Shepard asked.

The salarian shook his head, his eyes wide with terror.

"OK, stay down. Don't move from this spot, OK?" Shepard asked.

He nodded his head fervently.

A merc stepped out of cover and Latenia hit him with a Warp. Shepard vaulted over the benches and the low wall and raced for a planter putting her about even with Miranda.

"Police headed our way," Garrus said.

"Good," Shepard said.

Oriana pulled away from her mother and after a moment of studying Miranda intently a resolute look came over Oriana's face and she pushed her own less stable biotic field out around their small group. Miranda's eyes snapped open when she felt the brush of a biotic field against hers. Oriana knelt in front of Miranda and the two women held each other's gaze. Oriana's field stretched out further, the strain was apparent on her face as her barrier met Miranda's and merged into one.

"Shepard, mercs are landing at your six," Garrus said before he fired a shot.

Shepard glanced behind her to see shuttles stopping above the docks and mercs dropping from them to the ground. Shepard was too far away from their location to effectively use her biotics to knock them off the platform and she was exposed at her current location. Shepard crept slowly around the edge of the planter trying not to draw attention to herself until she was on the other side. It opened her up to the mercs still in hiding at the back of the terminal but it gave her protection from the bigger threat building on the docks.

A bullet slammed into the planter next to Shepard's shoulder. She flinched away from the shot and scanned the area. She saw an Eclipse standing behind a partition preparing to take another shot at her. Shepard activated her biotic Charge halfway to her feet and slammed into the merc knocking him back against the door to the women's restroom. She recovered from the charge and a bullet slammed into her back, dropping her shields and denting her armor. Shepard grabbed the man she just hit with her Charge and spun him around acting as a shield. She fired her pistol at the two mercs directly opposite of her as they filled their friend full of holes. She cursed as she felt one of the bullets slam into her shoulder, piercing her armor. Pain blossomed and hot blood began to drip down her arm.

She dropped the body when it went limp in her grasp and threw a Shockwave at the two mercs, knocking them backwards into the men's restroom door. She emptied her clip into one of them before he could get back to his feet. She hit the second man with a Reave and switched to her assault rifle. He dropped dead from her Reave before she could fire a shot. Shepard pressed her back to the partition hiding the bathroom door and glanced around the corner.

Miranda and Oriana were still fighting to keep a barrier up. Mercs where involved in a full blown shoot out with the asari commandos on the Illium Police force at the other end of the terminal. Garrus was providing sniper fire for the commandos as they pushed the mercs back with their biotics and the less frequent gunshot. Shepard ran for Miranda pushing herself through the two women's barrier. She took one glance at Oriana's father and realized it was far too late for him. Miranda's focus shifted to Shepard and Shepard shook her head. Shepard put her hand under Oriana's mother's arm and started to pull the woman away. The woman struggled and tried to fight Shepard off.

"Stop it, he's gone. I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do for him now. I've got to get you out of here," Shepard said making the woman look at her.

"Mom go. Listen to her and go, please," Oriana said.

 _"_ _She's keeping it together well. I suppose she would, being Miranda's genetic twin,"_ Jane said.

The woman sniffled and nodded her head. Shepard stayed low, keeping the woman down as close to the ground as she could as she led her to crouch behind a planter. They moved from cover to cover until Shepard got back to the corridor that led back to the skycar Lanteia brought them in. She pulled the woman a few feet into the corridor and stopped when she saw four asari commandos waiting at the other end. The commandos raised their pistols at Shepard and ordered her to stop.

"I'm Council Spectre Commander Shepard. I have a civilian here and I'm trying to get her to safety. There are others inside I need to go back for," Shepard yelled down the hall.

One of the commandos broke line as the others lowered their weapons. The police officer rand down the corridor to Shepard and took a hold of the woman's other arm, guiding her down the hall and away from Shepard. Shepard went back towards the sound of gunfire and checked that her path was clear before running back inside, moving from cover to cover she got back to Miranda and Oriana.

"Alright, Oriana come on let's get you out of here," Shepard said.

"What about her?" Oriana asked nodding at the wounded Miranda.

"What, Miranda? Nah, Miranda's tough she'll be alright let's just get you out of here," Shepard said.

"Go, Ori. Go with Shepard, she'll keep you safe," Miranda said.

Oriana nodded and pulled herself into a crouching position ready to move with Shepard. As soon as Shepard had Oriana safely behind cover, Miranda rose to her feet. Blood dripped down her arm and thigh but she walked with her head held high and a fire burning in her eyes straight towards the ongoing battle at the other end of the terminal.

"Garrus, Miranda is injured and headed to the fight. I'm getting her sister to safety –," Shepard said.

"Sister?" Oriana stopped to look at Shepard, forcing Shepard to tug her arm until she was moving again.

 _"_ _Oops,"_ Jane said.

"Garrus, Miranda isn't being rational right now," Shepard said.

"I got her, Shepard, don't worry about it," Garrus said.

"Thank you," Shepard said.

"What do you mean her sister?" Oriana asked again as they ducked behind a planter.

"I'll let her explain it to you once this is over. For now, your mother is waiting for me to bring you back to her alive so keep quiet and follow me," Shepard said.

A commando waited in the corridor a few feet from the opening ready to relieve Oriana from Shepard. Shepard handed Oriana off and ducked back inside. The mercs had pushed forward into the terminal, Miranda had at least been coolheaded enough to take cover as she joined the commandos in flinging biotics around the terminal but she was still losing blood and after holding that barrier for so long she was getting weaker.

Lanteia was still in the fight, doing what she could to provide support to the police and Shepard's team but Shepard could see that she was bleeding again. Shepard moved to the asari's side and pulled her into cover motioning for her to get to the corridor. Lanteia nodded and stayed low; an officer met her a few feet from the corridor's opening and helped her inside.

Shepard made her way over to the salarian still hiding under the bench.

"Come on, let's get you out of here," Shepard said holding out a hand.

The salarian shook his head.

"Come on, it's alright there are police waiting to keep you safe just over there," Shepard said.

"No, no I still hear gunshots. I'm safe here, I want to stay here," the salarian said.

"Oh for the love of…," Shepard grabbed the salarian and drug him out from underneath the bench.

He kicked and scrambled trying to get back under the bench so she punched him in the temple and knocked him out. She pulled his limp form up onto her shoulders and made her way back towards the corridor. The same asari was waiting for Shepard again when she got to the corridor.

"Where is he wounded?" the officer asked.

"He's not. I had to knock him out to get him to safety," Shepard said.

"Ah," the officer said pulling the salarian from Shepard's shoulders to her own.

"I haven't seen any other civilians still alive. I'm going back in to help the fight," Shepard said.

"Thank you, Spectre," the asari said making her way back down the corridor.

Shepard lifted her assault rifle and made her way towards the action. She fought her way to Miranda's side, shooting mercs as she went. More than one officer glanced her way in surprise before focusing back on the people who were shooting at them. Once at Miranda's side, Shepard grabbed a hold of the biotic and pulled her back into cover. Miranda glared at Shepard as Shepard opened her omni-tool and applied medi-gel to her own and Miranda's wounds.

With Miranda regaining her strength and Shepard back in the fight, the tables quickly turned. Mercs began piling up on the docs as they were pushed further and further back. Finally, they did the smart thing and began retreating to the shuttles. When the last merc alive was in the last shuttle, the doors closed and the shuttle took off.

Shepard moved through the terminal checking fallen civilians for signs of life. She reached Niket's body and shook her head. Miranda walked up behind her and the two women stood looking down at Niket in silence.

"I'm sorry, Miranda," Shepard said.

"I'm not. Maybe I should be, but I'm not. I get it, Shepard. I get what he was trying to do but he made the wrong choice and now all of these people are dead because of it," Miranda said looking around the terminal. "Oriana's father is dead because of Niket's choices."

"Your sister is safe now, why don't you go see her?" Shepard said.

"I'm not sure that's wise, Shepard," Miranda said.

"Well, she knows you're her sister and she's waiting for an explanation. Best it comes from you," Shepard said.

"You told her?!" Miranda screeched.

"I didn't mean to, but yeah it slipped while I was on the comm with Garrus," Shepard said.

"God, what do I even say to her?" Miranda asked.

Shepard shrugged and said, "Tell her that you're her sister and that you love her. The other details aren't so important."

 _"_ _The other details aren't important? Being a genetically engineered human, grown from the same DNA as her sister and then kidnapped when she was a child by that same sister isn't important? Having a crazy biological father hell bent on getting her back so that she can be his legacy isn't important?"_ Jane asked.

"Yeah… you're right. Where is she?" Miranda asked.

"She's with her mother and the police back through the corridor," Shepard said.

Miranda turned to look at the corridor. She glanced back at Shepard and gave her a soft smile before walking away. Shepard glanced up to see Garrus headed her way, his sniper rifle slung across his shoulder. He stopped and looked down at a merc that had started to move. Garrus put his foot on the merc's throat and twisted his leg sharply to the side snapping the merc's neck. Shepard flinched before Garrus turned his attention back to her and continued his stride. She moved to meet him.

"The detective would like to take your statement," Garrus said nodding back towards the cluster of Illium Police.

"Fantastic," Shepard said making her way over.

"Shepard?" the asari said when Shepard approached.

"Yeah," Shepard said.

"My officers say that you identified yourself as Council Spectre Commander Shepard, is that correct?" she asked.

"Yes ma'am," Shepard said.

"Oh sorry, I'm Detective Trisa. If you wouldn't mind, Spectre, I'd like to take your statement on what happened here today," Trisa said.

 _"_ _If you use Oriana or Miranda's names, that will leave a paper trail for Henry Lawson to follow,"_ Jane said.

Shepard rubbed at the back of her neck and said, "Sure. I'll need some names stricken from your official report, however."

"Of course, Spectre," Trisa said.

"I was down that corridor when I heard the sounds of gunfire. I made my way to this terminal where I found the Eclipse holding two people hostage. One of them is now dead over there on the floor," Shepard said pointing towards Niket. "There were dead civilians already. One of my crew who was present when this began was engaging the mercs, attempting to rescue the young woman from the Eclipse' attempted kidnapping."

"How do you know they were attempting to kidnap the young woman?" Trisa asked.

"She is the biological daughter of an influential man. She was adopted at a young age by her new family and is now legally an adult. The woman on my crew is her biological sister. She got word that their biological father had learned of her sister's location and was sending in the Eclipse to bring her back to him. We came here today to provide escort for the young woman and her adoptive family to a safe location," Shepard said.

"Why was she adopted out?" Trisa asked.

Shepard raised an eyebrow not seeing how the question was really relevant at the moment.

 _"_ _I don't think she believes you,"_ Jane said.

"I'm just trying to understand why this 'influential man' was going to so much trouble to abduct the woman," Trisa said.

"I'm sorry, Detective, but that would be a matter for the family to discuss if they choose," Shepard said.

"Of course, please continue," Trisa said.

"So, anyway, Garrus was already on the catwalks," Shepard said and Garrus raised his hand. "Scouting the area back that way for any sign of the Eclipse. So when the gunfire started he moved to this terminal on the catwalks. One of them had the young woman and was attempting to escape with her. Garrus informed me that he had a shot and I ordered him to take it. He shot the merc and young woman moved to her mother and wounded father. And then all hell broke loose. You guys showed up just about the same time as the Eclipse reinforcements."

"And you're Garrus?" Trisa asked.

"Garrus Vakarian, former C-Sec. You can use my name in your reports," Garrus said with a nod.

"Former?" Trisa asked.

"I left C-Sec to join Shepard during the whole Saren fiasco a couple of years ago," Garrus said.

"Saren… shit. You're _that_ Commander Shepard. I thought you were dead!" Trisa said looking back at Shepard.

Garrus chuckled. Shepard glared at him but it only made him laugh harder.

"Yes, Detective. I'm _that_ Commander Shepard. It's complicated, I was reported dead when they couldn't find me after the Normandy went down. I was recovered, however, by a private organization that spent two years and far more credits than I want to think about putting me back together again," Shepard said.

 _"_ _And by 'private organization' you mean 'Cerberus'. Why bother to hide it, all she has to do is check out what ship you're on and she'll know,"_ Jane said.

"Wow. OK, well, you know what, I think that I have everything that I need here," Trisa said.

"You do?" Shepard asked, her eyebrow twitching.

"Yes, I mean obviously the Eclipse were responsible for today's events. Their reasons are irrelevant. My officers tell me that not only did your team help to rescues civilians but aided them in dealing with the mercenary forces. I don't really see a need to tear this one apart," Trisa said.

"I see. Thank you, Detective," Shepard said.

"Not a problem," Trisa said.

Shepard and Garrus left the detective in search of Miranda. They found her sitting on a bench in the next terminal with Oriana. Oriana's mother was a few feet away talking to one of the officers. Shepard leaned against the wall next to Garrus while they waited, giving Miranda and Oriana space to talk privately.

"The girl is alive," Garrus said.

"And other innocent people are dead," Shepard said.

"Could have gone a lot worse," Garrus said.

"Could have gone a lot better," Shepard said.

"Hmmm," said Garrus.

"Why were you toying with that merc?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _Leave it alone, Dawn,"_ Jane warned.

Garrus turned his head to look at Shepard so she met his gaze. That ice had seeped back in around the edges of his eyes. She hadn't seen that so much since they started to repair their relationship. She thought things were getting better for him.

"Because he asked me to when he decided to be a moron and made a run for the girl," Garrus said.

Shepard looked away from Garrus' cold eyes and focused on the two women sitting on the bench. She could feel Garrus still watching her, waiting for her to challenge his rationale. She kept silent. Garrus pushed away from the wall and started walking towards the skycar.

"I told you, Shepard. I'm not the same turian you fell in love with," Garrus said turning around to walk backwards while he spoke.

Detective Trisa walked past Shepard and went to the officer talking to Oriana's mother. She pulled the officer aside and a moment later the officer looked over towards Shepard. Shepard watched as her expression shifted to doubt and then shock before she turned back to the detective. Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. Trisa walked back over to Oriana's mother and the officer walked away, back towards the corridor. Shepard watched as Oriana's mother shook the detectives hand and nodded her head fervently before going to stand by her daughter. Miranda smiled and stood up, shaking the woman's hand before bending to give her sister a hug.

Shepard pushed away from the wall and walked over to Miranda. Oriana stood up when she saw Shepard coming towards them. Miranda turned to see what Oriana was looking at and Shepard saw tears in her eyes.

"Commander Shepard, I didn't get the chance to say it back there but thank you," Oriana said holding her hand out to Shepard.

Shepard shook her hand and said, "I'm glad I was able to help. And uh, I'm sorry about your father."

Oriana nodded and said, "I don't think it's really registered with me yet that he's actually gone. With everything else happening… I think it's going to catch up with me later, though."

Oriana looked at her mother who had taken a seat on the bench and was crying quietly into a handkerchief.

"We should get going, the detective said that one of the officers is waiting to take us to a safe location. Miranda, I… thank you, for helping us today and for telling me the truth. I hope that you'll keep in touch with me, I'd really like to get to know you," Oriana said.

"Of course, and if you need anything you'll let me know?" Miranda asked.

"I will, I promise," Oriana said.

Oriana wrapped her arm around her mother's shoulder and whispered quietly. The older woman nodded her head and allowed her daughter to lead her away to the police skycar that was waiting for them.

"Lanteia was taken to the hospital. We can take her skycar back, she won't mind. Where's Garrus?" Miranda asked.

Shepard nodded towards Garrus who was leaning against Lanteia's skycar with his arms crossed, looking out over the docks. Miranda gave Shepard an inquisitive look and Shepard shook her head. They made their way to the skycar and Miranda opened the passenger side door, climbing into the back seat she closed the door behind her.

Garrus turned his head to watch Shepard when she stopped in front of him. His eyes had softened a little and Shepard thought she saw a question waiting to be asked in them. He didn't ask her anything, though. He didn't speak at all. Shepard took three more steps forward and leaned against Garrus, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her forehead into his. Garrus closed his eyes and pulled Shepard closer.


	36. Chapter 13: You Changed Me

**Chapter 13: You Changed Me**

Shepard removed her armor and left it with Jacob to repair before letting Dr. Chakwas fuss over the wound in her shoulder. The bullet had gone through and it hadn't hit anything vital so Shepard was content with the medi-gel she slapped on it in the terminal. Dr. Chakwas, however, insisted on examining the wound.

"Commander, you need to understand that with as quickly as you heal now you may not notice any fragments left behind until the wound is already completely healed. That means I'd have to perform surgery to get them back out instead of being able to remove them with hemostats," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Alright, just make it quick. I still have things to do on Illium," Shepard said settling onto the doctor's table.

Dr. Chakwas poked around near both sides of the bullet hole before running her scans. Finding nothing, she cleaned the wound and applied more medi-gel before taping gauze over the wound. She nodded to Shepard and Shepard slid down off the table. Shepard didn't mention the bruise she could feel on her back from the shot that took down her shields.

"Thanks, doc," Shepard said heading for the door.

"If you want to thank me you can come back without any more holes!" Dr. Chakwas called after Shepard as the door slid closed.

Shepard chuckled as she made her way back up to her cabin to change her blood soaked shirt and don new armor. She glanced at the empty fish tank and debated on picking some fish up on Illium. She thought better about it, fish always died on her. Apparently that was one of the few traits that carried over from life to life because Jane had said the same thing to her once before. Maybe she could drain the tank and turn it into a terrarium instead; maybe she could get a snake. They didn't have to eat very often.

"Hey, EDI?" Shepard called out and the blue hologram popped into view.

"Yes Shepard?" EDI asked.

"Will you see if Kelly is willing to drain this aquarium for me and set it up to hold a snake instead?" Shepard asked.

"I will ask Ms. Chambers right away," EDI said.

A few moments later and EDI spoke again, "Ms. Chambers said she would be happy to make the necessary adjustments and will find you a list of stores that sell snakes."

"Thanks, EDI. What is Lia doing?" Shepard asked.

"Ms. Vael is in the hangar practicing with her pistol. Legion is aiding her. They have assured me that they are not using live ammunition and will not cause damage to the ship," EDI said.

"Really? With Legion?" Shepard said snapping her armor into place.

 _"_ _She's really taken to Legion, it's good that they're working together,"_ Jane said.

"That is correct. Legion has logged 123 hours of training for Ms. Vael," EDI said.

"Huh. Tell Lia to get some real ammo and meet me at the airlock in fifteen minutes. Grunt as well," Shepard said.

 _"_ _You think she's ready for the field?"_ Jane asked.

"Only one way to find out," Shepard thought.

"At once, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard checked her clips before heading out of the cabin and taking the elevator down to the CIC. Kelly turned away from her console when the elevator doors slid open and smiled at Shepard.

"Commander, I've been able to compile a partial list for you already but unfortunately none of those stores are on Illium," Kelly said.

"That's alright, Kelly. Did you find any on the Citadel?" Shepard asked.

"There are two stores on the Citadel that are able to special order various small pets. If you'd like, I can place an order for you," Kelly said.

"Maybe later, I want to look at what's available and what they need to not die on me before I make that big of a commitment," Shepard said.

"I understand, just let me know if you'd like for me to place the order or anything else," Kelly said.

"Will do, thanks, Kelly," Shepard said.

"It's my pleasure," said Kelly.

Unsurprisingly, Grunt was already waiting for Shepard by the airlock.

"Hey Grunt, listen I don't think we'll be running into a lot of trouble on this one but this is Lia's first time out like this. She's still learning so I'm going to need you to help watch her six, alright?" Shepard said.

 _"_ _He's not the most level-headed, are you sure he's the right choice?"_ Jane asked.

"But he's the toughest and can pull more than his fair share of the weight," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Fair enough,"_ Jane said.

Grunt shrugged his shoulders and said, "As long as I get to shoot something."

Shepard grinned and said, "I'm sure there will be something to shoot."

"Good, this ship is boring," Grunt said.

The elevator opened again and a very nervous looking Lia made her way over to the airlock.

"Shepard, EDI said to bring live ammo… does that mean I'm going out on the field with you?" Lia asked.

"If you think you're up for it. This one shouldn't be too difficult but I'm bringing Grunt as your backup just in case," Shepard said.

Lia nodded her head and said, "I'm ready, Shepard. I've been practicing every day with Legion."

"So I've heard," Shepard said with a smile. "Alright, let's go."

The airlock opened and Shepard stepped through the second door and back out on Illium's dock. Careena glanced towards Shepard and plastered a fake smile on her face. She didn't bother offering another greeting as Shepard moved past her with Grunt and Lia.

"While we're here, you stick with me and if anyone asks you to, don't sign anything. I mean it, don't sign anything," Shepard said.

"Why not?" Lia asked.

"Illium is known to be full of conniving people who will get you locked into a contract that could be anything from agreeing to years of indentured servitude to selling them the rights to your property. So just don't," Shepard said.

"I won't," Lia said looking around Illium warily.

"So what are we doing here, Shepard?" Grunt asked.

"We're here to find and recruit an asari Justicar," Shepard said. "But first there are a few minor things I need to deal with."

Shepard made her way to where Gianna Parasini had been earlier. Her table was empty so Shepard browsed around at some of the merchant stalls while keeping an eye out for her. A few minutes later she spotted the woman coming down the stairs from Eternity. Shepard waited for her to get closer and then waved her over.

"Hey, Shepard! How'd your meeting go? It wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the pile of dead mercs I hear they're hauling out of the terminals, would it?" Gianna asked.

"Hehehehe," Grunt laughed.

"Ah, yeah, I guess that might have had something to do with us," Shepard said.

"I figured as much. That kind of thing happens a lot around you, doesn't it?" Gianna asked.

 _"_ _All too often"_ Jane said.

"Not often enough," said Grunt.

Gianna chuckled at Grunts response before a concerned look pulled at her features.

"You have different people with you now; the others weren't hurt were they?" Gianna asked.

"Nothing too serious," Shepard said.

"Oh, well, that's good news. Why don't we go up to Eternity and grab that beer? There's someone up there I need to keep an eye on anyway," Gianna said.

"Sure," Shepard said.

They made their way upstairs to Eternity and grabbed a table while Gianna ordered drinks. Conrad was still milling about the bar and it didn't take him long to spot Shepard sitting at one of the tables. Shepard sighed as Conrad rushed over, nearly knocking Gianna over on his way.

"Commander Shepard?! I thought that was you!" Conrad said.

"Conrad, hey," Shepard said.

"I can't believe it's really you, and – and you're alive!" Conrad said sitting down at the table uninvited.

"Uh, Shepard, friend of yours?" Gianna asked.

"I'm Commander Shepard's biggest fan! Look, Shepard, I've even got armor like yours now. Well, it's just a replica but it really helps me get past locked doors while I'm on missions! Can you believe it?" Conrad said.

"Uh huh. So, Conrad, what are you doing here?" Shepard asked.

"I'm working a case, Shepard. Yeah, my sources tell me that this bar is really a cover for a red sand dealer," Conrad said.

"Red sand is legal on Illium," Gianna said.

"What? That can't be right. Are you sure? Because my source said that if I got the deed to this place she could help me take the dealers down. I'd be a hero," Conrad said.

"She's right, Conrad. Red sand is legal here; you just need a license to sell it. Sounds like your source was pulling one over on you," Shepard said. "I tell you what. Give me some time here with Gianna we have some things to discuss. When I'm done, I'll go with you to talk to this 'source' and then you can apologize to the pissed off owner of Eternity, OK?"

"You would do that for me Shepard? I'd be working a real case with Commander Shepard?" Conrad said.

"Sure, Conrad. We'll work the case together," Shepard said.

"Wow, I can't believe this. OK, I'll wait for you over by the bar!" Conrad said getting up from the table.

 _"_ _We've never dealt with him this way before. You're changing things for no reason. This can't possibly effect what happens to us in the Crucible. Why are you doing this?"_ Jane asked.

"Jane, just because you and all of the others before me did things pretty much the same way every time doesn't mean that I have to. I'm not you, Jane, I'm not the others. Yeah, maybe I am on some level, and maybe I would have done things just the same if I wasn't able to hear you, but I can. You changed _me,_ Jane. I'm different now because of you. I don't think the same, I don't act the same, and I obviously don't do things the same," Shepard thought.

Jane seemed to contemplate that in silence.

Gianna tilted her head back and laughed. Lia chuckled along with her.

" _What_ was that?" Gianna finally asked.

"My biggest fan," Shepard said.

"He seems very… uh, very enthusiastic," Lia said.

"He seems like he's been hit in the head too many times. You humans have weak skulls," Grunt said.

"Yeah, Conrad is… he's something special but he means well," Shepard said. "So what's this job you're working, Gianna?"

Shepard took a sip from the glass of beer Gianna had set in front of her. Grunt had swallowed his in one gulp and sat looking at Shepard's full glass. Lia had declined Gianna's offer of a drink, even after being assured that Eternity was a dextro friendly place.

"You see the asari sitting at that table behind me?" Gianna asked.

Shepard nodded and then put a hand on Lia's arm when she started to turn her head to look. Shepard shook her head no.

"Sorry," Lia said.

"Not a big deal, Lia. We'll work on being discreet another time," Shepard said.

"New on the job, huh?" Gianna asked.

"Yeah, I guess I still have a lot to learn," Lia said.

"Don't worry, kid, I'm sure you'll get the hang of it. You're working with one of the best, after all," Gianna said. "So, anyway, that asari we think she has been smuggling schematics off of Noveria. She's a merchant, works one of the stalls downstairs. I followed her up here on her break, nothing better to do."

"So why don't you just have her arrested?" Lia asked.

"Or shoot her?" Grunt asked.

"Not really within my jurisdiction. I have no power on Illium. But we leaked a faulty schematic hoping to catch her. If I can catch her trying to sell or use the schematic I'll have all the evidence I'll need to put her out of business," Gianna said.

"Anything I can do to help?" Shepard asked.

"Hmmm. Maybe. If you can get her to show you the schematic," Gianna said.

"Let me deal with this thing with Conrad and I'll see what I can do," Shepard said.

"Hey thanks, Shepard. I'll have to owe you another beer," Gianna said standing up from the table.

"No problem, Gianna," Shepard said.

Shepard watched as Gianna left the bar and slid the rest of her beer over to Grunt before waving Conrad over. Grunt downed the beer and stacked the empty glass inside of the first one. Shepard stood up from the table when Conrad rushed over.

"Alright, Conrad, who is this source of yours?" Shepard asked.

"She said she was an undercover cop, I'll take you to her," Conrad said.

Shepard let Conrad lead her out of the bar and down to the kiosks on the main floor. Conrad stopped Shepard, putting a hand on her shoulder and leaning his head uncomfortably close to hers while he pointed across the trade area towards an asari next to a weapons kiosk.

"Alright, go talk to her Conrad. I'm right behind you," Shepard said.

"What do I say?" Conrad asked.

"You tell her that you know she's not really a cop and you don't appreciate being lied to," Shepard said.

"Good, yeah, OK, I can do that," Conrad said strutting towards the asari.

 _"_ _She's going to fling his ass across the trade floor,"_ Jane said.

"Nah, I've got his six. He'll be alright," Shepard thought.

Shepard followed after him, glancing over her shoulder to make sure that Grunt and Lia were staying close. Conrad came to a stop in behind the asari and tapped her on the shoulder. They came to a stop a few feet behind Conrad.

"Oh, Conrad. Hi, how's the case coming? Did you get the deed? I really want to help you take down that red sand dealer," the asari said.

"You're not really a cop and I know red sand is legal on Illium. Listen lady, I don't know what you were trying to pull but I don't like being lied to! You see that woman over there? That's Commander Shepard. She's a Spectre and my friend. She doesn't like you lying to me either, OK? So you should apologize before you piss her off," Conrad said.

The asari looked over at Shepard and Shepard raised her eyebrow and crossed her arms. She glanced to the side and took in Grunt standing next to Shepard. Grunt gave her a toothy grin and cracked his knuckles. The color drained out of the asari's face. She looked back to Conrad and smiled.

"Right, I'm sorry Conrad. That was a very terrible thing that I did, it won't happen again," the asari said.

"Alright, good. I'm glad we cleared that up," Conrad said. "So, um, I'm going now. You stay out of trouble and don't lie anymore!"

Conrad turned back to Shepard with a silly grin plastered on his face.

"Did you hear that, Shepard? We did it; she apologized and said she wasn't going to do it again!" Conrad said.

Shepard patted Conrad on the shoulder and said, "Excellent work, Conrad. But you know, now that I'm back I can take care of these things from here, OK?"

"Yeah, sure but if you ever need any help you know you can count on me, Commander Shepard," Conrad said.

"I do, thanks, Conrad. Why don't you head on up to the bar. I'll meet you up there in a few minutes and we can apologize to the owner for the mistake, OK?" Shepard said.

"Sure, I'll buy you another beer!" Conrad said before walking back towards Eternity.

Shepard watched until Conrad disappeared up the flight of stairs before she moved over to the asari.

"Listen, I don't want any trouble. It was just a joke, really, I didn't expect him to take it so seriously," the asari said.

"No, you listen. You knew damn well what you were doing. It doesn't happen again. Ever. Am I clear? Because if I'm not perfectly clear I'm sure I know a couple of detectives on Illium that would be interested in knowing that you're impersonating a police officer," Shepard said.

"No, no don't do that. We're clear. I got it, really," the asari said.

"Good," Shepard said.

Shepard walked away and went to the next kiosk, taking her time flipping through the kiosks menu before moving over to the next. When she got to the kiosk with the asari Gianna pointed out she browsed the kiosk until the tipsy asari realized she was standing there. Jane supplied the asari's name, Hermia, and Shepard decided to just let Jane's memories drive the conversation.

"Hey there! You sure look like someone who uses the best equipment. If you see anything you like or have any questions, feel free to ask! My store has the best tech and biotic equipment on Illium," Hermia said.

"Is everything here so expensive? I'd planned to drop a lot of credits here today," Shepard said.

"Really?" Hermia asked.

"I'm outfitting a team for a dangerous mission. I need the best and I'm willing to pay for it, as long as you work with me," Shepard said.

"That's awesome, I can totally give you a preferred rate and when I get special items in I'll share them with you," Hermia said typing on the kiosks console.

"She isn't responding the same way as you remember," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _She isn't usually drunk. I've never put off helping Gianna with this before, or met her up in the bar so, I don't know, just stick with it. She seems to be taking the bait,"_ Jane said.

"What kind of special items are we talking about?" Shepard asked.

"Oh I get all kinds of things in, schematics, designs. It's all legal stuff. I'm supposed to have special licenses to sell them so I don't put them on the main kiosk," Hermia said.

"Do you have anything else? Anything not listed on your main merchandise kiosk?" Shepard asked.

"Shhh, yeah, I'll show you this one thing. It's very advanced, it's not even publicly available yet," Hermia said.

 _"_ _And there you go,"_ Jane said.

Gianna left the table she had been sitting at while listening in on the conversation and walked over.

"That's because it's still on development on Noveria and illegal for export. Hello, Hermia," Gianna said.

"Parasini? Wait what is this? You set me up? Ha, well the joke's on you, Parasini. This is Illium, you can't arrest me here," Hermia said.

"Ahhh, Hermia. You had a little too much to drink there on your break, didn't you? That's OK, I'll speak really slow so you can understand. Fines, Hermia. More fines than your little blue ass can handle and still stay in business," Gianna said.

"I'm going to talk to my lawyer. I'm going to fight this, Parasini!" Hermia said walking off.

"Talk fast, Hermia. When the fines hit, you won't be able to afford him," Gianna called after Hermia.

Gianna turned back to Shepard and with a smile said, "Ah that was satisfying. Alright, I've got paperwork to do now. Thanks again, Shepard."

"Sure thing, Gianna," Shepard said with a wave.

Shepard left Gianna to her paperwork and made her way back up to Eternity to wrap things up with Conrad. She found him sitting at a table with a quarian and a turian. Shepard picked up on the annoyed expressions and vocal tones of the turian immediately. The quarian, however, seemed greatly amused by Conrad's stories about all of his exploits.

Shepard put her hand down on Conrad's shoulder and the man jumped, turning his head to look at Shepard. The turian looked at Shepard, fluttering his mandibles as he rolled the new scent around on his tongue. She wasn't sure if it was the smell of her wounded shoulder or Garrus on her that interested him.

"Conrad, why don't we leave this gentleman and his lady friend alone and go take care of that apology, hmm?" Shepard said.

"Oh, but Shepard, I was just telling them about the time that I saved the keeper on the Citadel from –," Conrad said.

"Conrad, these people are trying to enjoy their drinks in peace," Shepard said.

"Oh he's not bothering us, his stories are really funny," the quarian said.

Lia snickered behind Shepard, drawing the attention of the quarian who waved at her. Shepard glanced at the turian whose brow plates had furrowed and forced down a smile. It was really hard not to be amused by his attempts to win the affection of the quarian who so expertly shot down his every try. Her responses always made it seem like maybe she didn't understand what he was hinting at, but Shepard being a woman who had found herself in the same position more times than she could count knew better.

"Yeah, but we really should go. We've got something to take care of, don't we, Conrad?" Shepard said.

"Commander Shepard's right. Sorry you guys, but we have to wrap up a very important case," Conrad said standing from the table.

"Bye, Conrad," the quarian said.

"Yes. Bye, Conrad," the turian said.

Shepard threw a credit chit down on the table and said, "Have a round on me."

She led Conrad back over to the bar and waited for the asari bartender to acknowledge them.

"Hi, could you get the owner for us? Conrad here would like to apologize to her," Shepard said.

"Sure, give me just a second to get that table their drinks first," the asari said.

"Take your time," Shepard said watching the asari work.

A few minutes later and the owner came out of the back room and stopped in front of Conrad with her arms crossed and a pissed off glint to her eyes. Conrad rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. Shepard nudged him forward.

"Right. I wanted to apologize for the inconvenience, ma'am. It turns out that I was acting on false information. The situation has been handled and you won't have any further problems," Conrad said.

Shepard's lips twitched. That actually sounded rather professional. She was almost proud of Conrad. The asari wasn't as impressed.

"What false information could you have to make you act like a complete asshole?" the asari asked.

"Uh, well, she said she was an undercover cop and I – I thought I was helping. I'm sorry," Conrad said hanging his head.

Shepard moved to stand beside Conrad and said, "Conrad was misled into believing that Eternity was a front for a red sand dealer. He didn't know that red sand was legal on Illium. The asari convinced him that if he got the deed to this place, he'd be helping her to bring down criminals."

"So he's an asshole and stupid," the asari said.

"Alright. Conrad, you did your job, you apologized for your actions. You're done here. I'm going to have a conversation with the owner here and then I have to get back to work. Try to stay out of trouble, Conrad. I'll see you around," Shepard said shaking Conrad's hand.

"Thanks, Commander Shepard!" Conrad said his smile returning as he walked away.

"Listen, lady, I know that Conrad was making an ass out of himself and he's caused you a lot of stress but give the guy a break. Clearly he isn't the brightest but he's got a good heart and was unlucky enough to think that Illium was a good place to visit," Shepard said. "I don't have to tell you what Illium will do to a guy like that."

The asari sighed and said, "OK, OK, but anymore of his crap and I'll have him arrested."

"I understand, thank you," Shepard said.

 _"_ _I guess that went well,"_ Jane said.

The asari walked away and Shepard turned to Grunt and Lia.

"You guys ready to get to work?" Shepard asked.

"I'm always ready, Shepard," Grunt said.

"I think so," Lia said.

"Alright, let's go," she said.

Shepard led Grunt and Lia out of Eternity and back down to the main floor. She paused at the staircase that led up to the office Liara should be in before taking her team through the door next to the stairs. They made their way down a hall and through another door. Shepard stopped to glance around the area. Jane's memories filtering through showing her places, people, and conversations that took place there. Shepard walked down the stairs to her right and past the salarian talking to someone about the Kirosa family data that was left behind in the Dantius Towers when Nassana started throwing the workers out. Shepard new that meant Thane was where he was supposed to be. He was on Illium, preparing to make his move on Nassana. She would go to the towers after she found Samara. She needed to wait until after the shift workers cleared out of the second tower.

Shepard crossed the floor and up another staircase with blue letters informing her that it led to the transportation district. The door slid open and Shepard crossed the threshold, heading straight towards Shiala. She ran through Jane's memories and her own as she made her way to the green asari.

"Shiala," Shepard called out to her before the asari had spotted her.

Shiala looked up when she heard her name called and a smile spread across her face. She ended the call she was on and stood up; taking a few steps she met Shepard.

"Shepard, I didn't think you would remember me. It is good to see you again," Shiala said.

"Well, you don't see too many green asari, Shiala, but I wouldn't have forgotten you anyway. How could I have?" Shepard said.

Shiala looked down at her green hands and sighed before saying, "Yes, an unfortunate side effect… some of the colonists have been experiencing health problems. Residual effects from the thorian's control. Some colonists are having headaches and muscle spasms. At times they're sharing sensations similar to when they were under the thorian control."

"Is there anything that I can do to help?" Shepard asked.

Shiala glanced over her shoulder towards another asari working a kiosk. Shepard followed her gaze as Jane's memories filled in the blanks.

"Perhaps there is, it would be appreciated. We hired Baria Frontiers to perform medical scans and provide treatment. I'm here trying to renegotiate the terms of the contract, but am finding that my diplomatic abilities are not serving me well. There were clauses in the contract – the fine print that allows them to perform invasive procedures if they deem it necessary," Shiala said. "We didn't realize it when we signed the contract, we wouldn't have agreed to such procedures. But if we don't allow the procedures, we'll be held in breach of contract and everything we owe will be due at once. Zhu's Hope simply can't afford that."

"Let me try talking to her," Shepard said.

"Thank you, Shepard," Shiala said.

Shepard made her way over to the kiosk and the asari turned around.

"I saw your conversation, human. You're here to complain about the medical contracts those colonists from Feros signed. I suggest you leave. Your life is short enough. Don't waste what time you have bothering me," she said.

"We both know that these tests aren't necessary… we both know that this is something more, something personal," Shepard said.

"Don't pretend to understand me, human! You know nothing about the life I have lived. You could never hope to understand. You humans think that you are something special, that you have gained some great understanding of the universe in your meager, fleeting lifespans," the asari said. "You don't know what it is to truly love, to truly hate. You're all alike; humans, turians, salarians. The galaxy would be a better place if nobody but the asari had ever dragged themselves out of the primordial muck."

"What happened?" Shepard asked.

"What are you talking about, human?" the asari asked throwing her hands in the air.

"What happened to make you hate aliens so much? Who did you lose?" Shepard asked.

"Who didn't I lose because of you aliens? My bondmate died when the geth rebelled against the quarians and here you bring a quarian with you to try to sway me! I lost my daughters when the geth attacked the Citadel. Problems caused by aliens but asari paid for in blood!" she said.

Lia began wringing her hands and took a step closer to Shepard.

"Why was your bondmate on Rannoch?" Shepard asked.

The asari hesitated before answering, "Studying the quarians. Not their technology, but their music. She loved all their art. Said they had old souls. I think that's where my daughters got it from. Both of them loved talking with people, exploring new cultures."

"I'm sorry," Lia said quietly.

Everyone looked to Lia as the young quarian stepped forward.

"I'm sorry that you lost your family, and I'm terribly sorry that my people played a part in that. A lot of lives were lost because of our choices, and those consequences still trouble us today. You should know, though, the quarians have not forgotten," Lia said. "Our records may have been lost with the homeworld, but we remember. We know that what we did reached beyond us, beyond the quarians and has impacted the entire galaxy. We honor those lost because of us in the stories that parents teach their children, and the warnings that every generation passes to the next."

The asari sighed and tears spilled down her cheeks as she spoke, "You are but a child. What have you to apologize for, you weren't responsible, and you weren't even alive yet. You weren't there."

"And neither were the colonists of Zhu's Hope," Shepard said gently. "Would your bondmate, your daughters… would they want you to do this?"

She swiped the tears off of her cheeks and leaned against the low wall. A moment later she shook her head.

"No, no they wouldn't. I'll amend the contracts," she said before opening her omni-tool. "Here, child, I think she would want you to have this."

Lia opened her omni-tool and prepared it to accept whatever the asari was giving to her. The asari waved her omin-tool over Lia's and a song began to play. A warbling male quarian's voice, unfiltered by the mask of an enviro-suit began to fill the air. The asari smiled before walking around Lia and over to Shiala.

"Oh, Shepard… this is… I don't think a single quarian has heard this since Rannoch," Lia said.

"It's beautiful, Lia. I'm sure they will be delighted to hear it when you return to the Migrant Fleet," Shepard said. "That was brave of you, Lia. To say those things to her."

 _"_ _Tali would love to hear that,"_ Jane said.

"It needed to be said," Lia said before saving the file and closing her omni-tool.

Shepard patted Lia's shoulder before turning them around and heading to the cab stand. She didn't need to talk to Officer Dara, Jane's memories told her all she needed to find Samara. Lia and Grunt would have no reason to question how Shepard knew to go to the spaceport. Shepard hailed the taxi and they climbed inside, taking the taxi to the commercial spaceport.

When the taxi landed, Shepard opened the doors and stepped out of the cab. She glanced around the area, recognizing the volus named Pitne For. She didn't need to talk to him either, not yet. There was only one person she needed to talk to here, Detective Anaya, and she would be in the police station. Shepard made her way over to the building, glancing down the way to the police line set up in front of the crime scene where Pitne For's partner was murdered. Samara would be in there, but first, she had to get permission to enter.

Shepard walked into the police station and around to Detective Anaya's desk.

"Spectre, you're still on Illium? What can I do for you?" Anaya said.

"Were you at the terminals today, too?" Shepard asked.

"I was, you left behind quite a mess. They're still over there cleaning it up," Anaya said.

"Sorry about that," Shepard said.

"Don't be. You didn't start the fight and from what I saw, things would have been a lot worse if you weren't there to finish it. So, what brings you to my station?" Anaya asked.

"I'm looking for the Justicar, Samara. I need her help on my mission. I was hoping you can tell me where to find her," Shepard said.

"Have you ever worked with a Justicar, Spectre?" Anaya asked.

"No, but I've done my homework. I know what to expect," Shepard said.

"Hmmm. Well, if your plan is to get her out of my district, I'll help however I can. She's at the crime scene around the corner. I'll send word for them to let you in," Anaya said.

"Thanks, Detective," Shepard said.

"Anaya. It's I who should be thanking you, Shepard," Anaya said.

Shepard smiled and said, "Well, in that case, you're welcome, Anaya."

They made their way back out of the police station and around the corner to where the blue police tape marked the entrance to the crime scene. The two asari officers guarding the scene stepped aside to let Shepard past. Shepard recognized one of them as being the asari who helped her with the civilians at the terminal shootout.

"Commander Shepard, hello again," the asari said.

"Hey, how's that salarian doing?" Shepard asked.

"He's got a bit of a headache but he'll live. He whined about it for a while and threatened to press charges against you until I told him who you were. That shut him up real quick," she said.

Shepard chuckled and said, "Thanks for that."

"Anytime, Shepard. Keep your guard up in there, there are still Eclipse roaming around," she said.

"Will do," Shepard said walking past the guards.

She stopped at a console just inside the door to download a copy of an incriminating message sent between two of the shipping company's employees. She knew it wasn't really important, not in the grand scheme of things, and it definitely wasn't any of her business but Shepard liked the idea of scaring the shit out of that loud mouth, rude asari over by the taxi stands.

"Alright, guns out," Shepard said turning away from the console.

Grunt drew his assault rifle and nodded to Shepard while Lia fumbled with her pistol making sure the thermal clip was in place properly. Shepard gave her a minute to figure it out on her own. It was important that she learn the ins and outs of her weapon with live rounds in her hand. Lia looked up and nodded so Shepard moved them forward through another police line and down a hall way. Jane's memories showed Shepard that the stairs leading up lead to Eclipse, the stairs leading down lead to salvage. Shepard took Lia down the stairs and pointed to the broken piece of machinery.

"Go ahead, Lia. See what you can find," Shepard said.

"That one's easy," Lia said moving to the machine and digging around inside of it for parts and stuffing her finds in the pockets of her suit.

Shepard took them up to the next area and put a finger to her mouth telling her team to be quiet. She crept forward until the sounds of the Eclipse giving orders to her squad floated down the hall to her. Shepard pressed her back against the wall and peered around the corner. Lia stayed behind the wall and out of sight, watching Shepard nervously. Shepard glanced back and Lia and Lia nodded her head. Shepard crouched down and scuttled to take cover behind the nearby crate. Lia pressed her back to the wall Shepard left and held her pistol tightly in her grip pointed towards the floor.

Shepard lifted her head up and fired the first shot. The Eclipse and their LOKI mechs responded immediately sending a spray of bullets flying back Shepard's way. Grunt moved forward to another crate and returned fire. Lia still hadn't moved to fire yet when Shepard shot off a few more rounds. Shepard crouched back down and looked towards Lia's location. She tapped her mic.

"You OK, Lia?" Shepard asked.

"There's um, there's a lot of them," Lia said.

"It's OK, listen Lia, just look around the edge, just a little bit and choose a target. Maybe one of the mechs to start," Shepard said.

She waited until she saw the edge of Lia's mask peer around the wall.

"OK, do you have a target" Shepard asked.

"Yes," Lia said.

"OK, point your gun, shoot, and then duck back behind the wall," Shepard said.

"Right. OK. I can do this," Lia said.

Shepard smiled as the young quarian stepped away from the wall and fired once at a mech before jumping back into cover. Shepard fired off a few more rounds before talking to Lia again.

"Good, Lia, that's good. You hit it. Just keep doing that for now," Shepard said.

"Got it," Lia said and peered back around the corner.

 _"_ _Look at her, she's like a startled rabbit. This is going to be too much for her, Dawn. You should have started her with something smaller,"_ Jane said.

"You do realize that I've gone through the exact same training as you, right? I earned the N7 on my armor; I earned the title Spectre without you. I am completely capable of helping to train Lia. You don't even know, Lia. You had the same two conversations with her and that was it," Shepard thought.

Shepard turned her attention back to the mechs and mercs slowly pushing their way down towards Shepard's team. She fired a few shots at the feet of one of the Eclipse to push the merc back. She wanted to make sure Lia had plenty of opportunity to fire her gun. Lia turned the corner and shot another mech in the chest. The mech kept moving forward so Shepard shot its legs, making it drop to the ground where it continued to use its hands to pull itself forward. Lia turned and shot at it twice before squealing when the mech exploded.

Grunt got impatient, as Shepard anticipated and mowed down three more mechs with his assault rifle. The Eclipse threw a Warp at Grunt but it only made him laugh. Shepard fired several rounds at the Eclipse, pushing her back again. Lia turned the corner and fired at the merc, catching her in her shoulder but the mercs shields kept the shot from doing damage.

"OK, Lia, the mercs have shields and some might have barriers up, too. Single shots like that while their barriers and shields are in place won't do much. Their shields will be back up before you fire the next shot and they won't be fazed at all. You have to get their shields down first. That takes several shots. Grunt, drop the mercs shields for Lia," Shepard said. "Lia when Grunt says 'go', you shoot the merc again, OK?"

"Got it," Grunt said.

"OK," said Lia.

Grunt fired a spray of bullets at the merc before saying, "Go."

Lia ducked back out and shot her pistol at the merc ducking back behind the wall.

"Did I hit her?" Lia asked.

"You did, but she's still standing. Look at her again, Lia, what's she doing?" Shepard asked.

"She's pulling biotic energy around her," Lia said.

"OK, wait a second and look again," Shepard said.

"Oh!" Lia said ducking back behind the wall.

Shepard chuckled even as the biotic distortion flew over her head and towards Lia's location. Shepard shot the merc once to keep her shields from rising again. Lia peeked back around the corner before firing at the merc herself. Lia's shot ripped through the Eclipse' armor and into her shoulder.

"Again," Shepard said.

Lia ducked out and fired twice more. The Eclipse fell to the ground unmoving.

"This is very different from practicing with Legion," Lia said.

"Yes, but you're doing great. OK, Grunt, fire at will. Let's clear this area and keep moving," Shepard said.

"Finally," Grunt said before filling the air with bullets.

With the area clear, Shepard moved her team forward past the dead mercs and mechs and to the next police tape lined door. The door slid open as a mercenary was thrown across the room to slam into the door next to Lia. Lia raised her pistol and Shepard threw her arm out and shook her head. Another merc stood facing off with the Justicar on the platform above. Blue biotic energy swirled around Samara's body from crest to red-leather boot clad toes.

"Those were my best troops," the merc said.

"Tell me what I need to know, and I will be gone from here," Samara said slowly, casually circling the scared merc. "Where did you send her?"

"You think I would betray her? She would hurt me in ways you can't imagine," the merc said moving to keep the distance between herself and the Justicar.

"The name of the ship. Your life hangs on the answer, Lieutenant," said Samara.

The merc said, "You can kill me, but one of us will take you down, Justicar!"

The merc raised her gun, pointing it at Samara. That was a terrible mistake on her part. Samara lashed out with her biotics, wrapping the merc up with blue energy and lifting her off the platform before flinging her through the glass to fall to the ground below. Lia looked to Shepard who still held her arm out across Lia and Shepard shook her head. A moment later, Samara ran and jumped, biotic energy flared up around her form as she took a swan dive off the platform. The energy slowed her decent and she brought her legs down to land gracefully on the floor before stalking towards the terrified merc. The merc scuttled backwards, trying to escape the Justicar to no avail. Samara caught her prey, pinning her by the throat beneath the heel of her boot.

"What was the name of the ship she left on?" Samara asked again.

"Go to hell," the merc choked out, her hand grabbing Samara's ankle.

"Find peace in the embrace of the goddess," Samara said before twisting her leg and snapping the merc's neck.

Samara glanced at Shepard before looking back down at the dead merc. Shepard put her gun away and walked into the room. Samara's head lifted again and she stepped away from the body to move slowly towards Shepard and her team.

"My name is Samara, a servant of the Justicar Code. My quarrel is with these Eclipse sisters, but I see three well-armed people before me," Samara said.

Shepard held up her empty hands, showing the Justicar that she had put her gun away.

"I've come to find you, Samara, but I have no quarrel with you," Shepard said.

"What would bring a human, a krogan, and a quarian to seek out an asari Justicar?" Samara asked.

"My name is Commander Shepard and I'm here to ask for your help. Collectors have been attacking human colonies, abducting the colonists and leaving with little to no trace. I'm gathering a team to take them down, and you are one of the best this galaxy has to offer," Shepard said.

Samara watched Shepard in silence for a moment, something she had never done before. Shepard had the uncomfortable idea that Samara was seeing something in her that no one else had seen before.

"What is she looking at?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I don't know… maybe she can tell you're different,"_ Jane said.

"How could she possibly tell that?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _How should I know? I'm not a damn Justicar,"_ Jane said.

"I sense the truth in what you say, and it humbles me. But I seek an incredibly dangerous fugitive," Samara said turning and taking a few steps back towards the dead merc.

"I cornered her here, but the Eclipse sisters smuggled her off world. I must find the name of the ship she left on before the trail goes cold," Samara said.

Detective Anaya walked in and towards the group gathered around the merc.

"I wish you wish you were willing to go with the human, Justicar. I've been ordered to take you into custody if you won't leave," Anaya said.

"I'll help," Shepard said.

Samara and Detective Anaya turned to look at Shepard.

"You will find the name of the ship for me? It is the only way that you can help," Samara said.

"I will. Just go with the detective peacefully and I'll find the name of the ship," Shepard said.

"My code obligates me to cooperate with the authorities for one day. After that, I must return to my investigation," Samara said.

"I won't be able to release her that soon unless she's leaving Nos Astra," Anaya said.

"I know, and I know what will happen if you try to stop her. I'll have the name before then," Shepard said.

"How can you be so certain?" Anaya asked.

"It's what I do," Shepard said.

"Find me the name of that ship and I will join you, the code will be satisfied and I will not be forced to take the life of the detective," Samara said.

Anaya cast a pleading glance at Shepard before leading the Justicar back towards the police station. Shepard followed them out and made her way to the volus pacing around the area with his turian guards. The guards stepped forward when Shepard approached their boss. Pitne For spun around and looked up at Shepard.

"You were in the crime scene. Did they find anything? Is the Justicar leaving now?" Pitne For asked.

"Oh no, the mercs are still after you Pitne For but I can stop them. I need into their base and I think you're the man who can get me in there. You get me in there, and I get the mercs off your back and the Justicar leaves with me. How does that sound?" Shepard said.

"What makes you think I can get you in there?" Pitne For asked, his words punctuated by the hissing sound of his ventilator.

Shepard crouched down, putting herself on the volus' level and said, "Do you really want me to air out your dirty laundry right here where all of these people can hear it, Pitne For?"

"No. I guess I don't. What do you get out of this?" Pitne For asked.

"I need the name of a ship that the Eclipse used to smuggle someone off world. With it, I can convince the Justicar to come with me and help me on my mission," Shepard said.

"That's it? That's all you want?" Pitne For asked.

"That's all I want," Shepard said.

"Here, take the pass card. I made a copy. You should know, though, that the Eclipse sisters are all dangerous. Each one commits a murder to earn her uniform. I guess you look like you can handle it, you have a krogan with you," Pitne For said.

"Smart volus," Grunt said.

Shepard took the pass card and made her way over to the locked elevator next to the crime scene entrance. Shepard pulled out her assault rifle and checked the thermal clip while the elevator took them into the Eclipse base. They were attacked by a mech as soon as the door opened but Grunt wasted no time charging the LOKI and ripping its head from its shoulders. He looked around the room disappointed that there weren't others.

Shepard pressed her back to the wall next to the door and motioned for Lia to do the same on the other side. Grunt moved out of direct line of the door before Shepard slapped her fist against the door's release. It opened into a room filled with crates and Eclipse mercs. One of the mercs grabbed a nearby crate with her biotics and flung it towards the door. The crate hit the edge of the door and burst, sending a red cloud into the air. Shepard's suit readings began to jump, warning her that there was a toxic substance present. Shepard pulled back away from the door and motioned for Lia to do the same.

"Shepard, scans of the chemical compound indicate that exposure to the substance will temporarily boost biotic powers. However, concentrated exposure will cause severe tissue damage. I recommend limited exposure," EDI said her voice breaking through Shepard's radio.

"Yep, thanks EDI," Shepard said before turning to fire at the nearest merc.

"Shoot as many of those crates as you can but keep out of the clouds. I want those crates to blow on my terms, not theirs and not while we're standing next to one," Shepard said.

Lia began shooting the crates that she could see from her vantage point, sending out more clouds of the toxic drug. The dense cloud was nearly impossible to see though, and the mercs had pulled back away from the clouds of Minagen X3 as well. The mechs, however, did not. Shepard heard the LOKI mechs moving in on their little room calling out their programmed warnings.

Shepard waited for them to step past the thinning cloud before firing a spray of bullets across the mechs' chests. Lia backed up but kept her cool and shot one of the mechs in the chest twice before it exploded. Grunt fired his gun and the second mech fell. Shepard moved back to the edge of the door, the cloud having receded enough to be safe. She could see the blue flare of biotics across the room through the red haze and pulled her trigger. The pained screams that echoed back to her let her know she hit her target. Her eyes tracked the biotic energy as she fired bursts from her gun.

The cloud cleared enough so that she could now clearly see the Eclipse sisters across the room throwing biotics at her team. Shepard rushed into the room and through the thin haze to close the distance and get to cover. She took a couple of shots in the process, and her shields dropped just as she ducked behind a crate.

"Lost shields," Shepard said into her mic.

Grunt took that as his cue to move into the room, gun blazing; keeping the mercs back from Shepard while she regained her shields. Lia crouched low to the ground and ran into the room, taking up cover near Shepard. Shepard's shields recharged and she stood up, locking on to a target she used her biotic Charge to close the distance and slam into the Eclipse. As soon as Shepard had recovered and moved around the Eclipse, Lia and Grunt fired on the second one keeping her from closing in on Shepard while Shepard finished off the first one.

With the room cleared they went through the next door, stopping to pick up the Scimitar Assault Shotgun lying on a desk. Shepard moved through the office to the next door just before the stairs leading up. The door opened and she stepped inside, her gun already pointing towards the desk she knew Elnora was hiding behind.

"Show yourself," Shepard said.

Elnora stayed behind the kiosk.

"Gods… you're a damn merc, where's your fucking courage?" Shepard asked.

"Wait, don't shoot, I'm coming out," Elnora said.

The asari in Eclipse armor stood up and moved from behind the desk, showing Shepard her empty hands.

"I didn't shoot, not once, I swear! Listen, I'm new I'm not really one of them. I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I thought being Elnora –," she said.

 _"_ _Liar. I hate liars,"_ Jane said in unison with Shepard.

"Liar. I hate liars," Shepard said cutting the merc off.

"I'm not lying, I swear! I only pretended to shoot!" Elnora protested.

"Whatever. Pretend to keep breathing," Grunt said.

"Yes. You are. I know what you did to earn that armor, don't bullshit me Elnora," Shepard said.

Elnora reached for her gun and said, "Screw that bastard and screw you!"

Shepard fired her rifle, the sound immediately followed up by shots from Grunt and Lia. Elnora's body jerked as each shot hit her before she fell to the ground in a pool of her own blood. Shepard turned to Lia and raised an eyebrow. The quarian shrugged her shoulders.

"What? She was going to shoot you," Lia said.

"Glad to see you're gaining your confidence, Lia. Check out that terminal over there for me," Shepard said.

Lia skirted around the dead body and accessed the terminal at the far side of the room. She downloaded the research on biotics and forwarded it to Shepard before stopping to get the power cells that were hidden behind the desk. They left the room and headed up the stairs to another door.

The door opened up into a small room with a few barrels and crates; modicum sources of cover from the mercs just through the opened doorway to the left. Shepard ordered Lia to take cover by the crates edging the doorway while she moved behind the barrels out in the open. Mercs and mechs took notice and began firing, moving in towards Shepard's location. She didn't give them the chance to get very close. Shepard threw out a Shockwave, knocking a mech and one of the mercs over the railing to fall to the ground below. Lia and Grunt open fired on the next merc as a red cloud filled the air.

Shepard moved into the room and past the cloud, following the walkway as it circled the perimeter of the room. Lia was feeling confident enough that she was starting to take more shots and supplement her firepower by overloading enemies in her path. Shepard continued to push through the Eclipse base, stopping to let Lia expand her hacking skills at every terminal they found. Grunt wasn't too pleased but Shepard knew he'd be happy enough once they encountered the gunship.

Shepard stopped at a console to play the recording of Elnora's confession. Elnora clearly sounded delighted in having been the one to kill Pitne For's partner, Dakni Kur. She sounded so proud to have earned her right to be a part of the Eclipse sisters. And now, she was dead. Lia shook her head in disgust as the recording played.

"Keelah se'lai, Shepard! I thought you said this wouldn't be too difficult? This place is swarming with the Eclipse as crazy as Elnora… and those mechs!" Lia said.

"This isn't difficult, hehehehehe," Grunt said.

"Well, not compared to what we're use to but she's new to all of this, Grunt. Give her a break, she wasn't tank grown with everything she would need to know about how to fight and kill already programed into her," Shepard said. "You're doing great, Lia, really."

"Gunships, Shepard. I saw gunships back there! Please tell me we aren't going to have to fight against gunships," Lia said.

"OK, we're not going to have to fight against gunships," Shepard said.

"Good… Wait. You're lying to me aren't you? Didn't you just tell that mercenary that you hate liars?" Lia asked.

Shepard grinned and turned away throwing back over her shoulder, "I'm a complex woman full of contradictions. But yeah, we'll probably have to fight a gunship. Don't worry, that's why I have heavy weapons. And a Grunt."

"Hehehehe," Grunt laughed.

Shepard had Lia download the recording to deliver to Detective Anaya before pushing forward again. They moved through the rooms fighting off more Eclipse and LOKIs until they reached the area that Shepard knew meant a gunship was just around the corner. She moved across the platform and grabbed some more power cells lying at the other end. A set of stairs in the center of the platform went down a ways before leveling off; more stairs led back up to another platform across the way.

"Lia, take cover here and stay down. I've got a feeling we're about to meet that gunship," Shepard said.

Lia groaned and took cover. Shepard and Grunt made their way down the stairs. Half way across the level surface between stairs, the gunship rose up from behind the platform. Shepard ran up the next flight switching to her grenade launcher as she went. She wanted to keep the gunship on this side, back away from Lia who only had a pistol and a couple of weak tech skills. As soon as she had her grenade launcher out she started firing at the gunship, forcing it to back away from the platform out into open air. Shepard dove for the meager cover available knowing that the ship could still get shots in on her if it moved around.

Grunt bellowed loudly as he peppered the gunship with his assault rifle. Shepard kept up the pressure shooting it with grenade after grenade. She took a hard hit to the chest, taking her shields down completely and knocking her back a few steps. It felt like she had been hit in the chest with a sledgehammer. She dove for cover again and continued to fire even as she fought to get her breathing right. The gunship exploded over her head, showering her with bits of burning metal and debris. She ducked her head and threw her left arm up to help soften the blows.

When no more debris fell, Shepard rolled over sat with her back against the crates. She activated the medi-gel dispense and called out to Lia. The quarian stood hesitantly and looked around before crossing over to the stairs. Grunt sauntered over to Shepard and offered her a hand. She took his hand and he helped pull her to her feet again. Shepard was brushing ash off of her armor when Lia rejoined them.

They made their way across the platform. Shepard let Lia hack her way through the locked door on the other side. The girl was shaken so it took her a couple of tries but she got it opened. They moved inside and Lia pointed at a datapad sitting on the edge of a crate. Shepard nodded her head and Lia moved to the datapad.

"It says that Pitne For sold two-thousand units of Minagen X3 and six-hundred of red sand to the Eclipse," Lia said. "Should we keep this for Detective Anaya?"

"Yeah, keep it," Shepard said. "There's another terminal for you, Lia."

Lia tucked the datapad away and crossed the room to the terminal. Shepard and Grunt waited by the next door until Lia rejoined them. At the end of the hall a volus stood with his back to Shepard. Images from Jane's memories flitted across Shepard's mind. Shepard lowered her assault rifle knowing that the volus was high out of his mind but not a threat. She walked into the hall and cleared her throat. The volus slowly turned around and seeing Shepard started his drug crazed speech.

"I am a biotic god! I think things – and they happen! Fear me, lesser creatures, for I am biotics made flesh!" the volus said moving towards Shepard and making his biotics flare for show.

Grunt turned his head to look at Shepard and asked, "Can I shoot him?"

"No," Shepard said.

Lia started giggling behind Shepard.

"You will regret your scandalous words! I am a great wind that will sweep all before me like a… great wind. A great biotic wind!" the volus said.

"Can I please shoot him?" Grunt asked.

"No, Grunt," Shepard said. "What happened to you?"

"The asari, they injected me with so many drugs, and yes it was terrifying. But then I began to smell my greatness!" the volus said.

Lia lost it there and her giggles turned into laughs accompanied by the occasional snort. Shepard sometimes forgot that Lia was really still just a teenager. Her laughter was infectious, though and soon Shepard found herself chuckling before clearing her throat.

"You laugh now, mortal as they laugh when I fall over, but you don't know what I know in my head – that I know that I am amazingly powerful. Fear me!" the volus said.

"Listen, Pitne For is outside. Why don't you go meet him? I'm sure he's worried sick about you," Shepard said.

"Poor Pitne For. I will, I will find Pitne For and show him my greatness. He shall worship me like the biotic god that I am. But first, I must seek vengeance on Wasea and feast on her biotic-rich blood. I will show her the true power of a biotic god!" the volus said.

"Oh no, why bother with Wasea? She's unworthy of your time. Really, she's nothing but a mere mortal mercenary. Let us take care of Wasea. You should go to Pitne For and show him your greatness," Shepard said.

"Yes. Yes, you're right. I will not waste my time on the likes of Wasea. Not when I have followers waiting for me to share my wisdom with them. You will take care of Wasea in service to your biotic god, and you shall be justly rewarded," the volus said.

 _"_ _Oh gods…,"_ Jane said.

"Right, OK then. Pitne For is right outside waiting by the police station last I saw him. You'd better hurry, I'm sure he's worried sick," Shepard said.

The volus started to wander towards the door and said, "Yes, I'll hurry to Pitne For."

Shepard shook her head as the volus walked through the door.

"I still think you should have let me shoot him," Grunt said.

"Come on, let's go take care of this Wasea so we can get our just reward," Shepard said.

Lia snorted with laughter once more before regaining control of herself as they moved through the next room. Shepard stopped to replenish her medi-gel supply from the medical station on the wall before opening the next door.

The dark blue asari with tangerine markings all over her face stood across the expansive warehouse floor. As with Enyala, she didn't wear the yellow armor of the other Eclipse but was clad in blue. Shepard supposed they saved the ugly stuff for their underlings. Wasea casually drained her glass and read from a datapad. She lifted the glass up and glanced inside before setting it down on a crate. Wasea glanced at Shepard before returning her gaze to the datapad. Shepard continued to lead her team forward, closing as much of the distance between the Eclipse leader and herself as she could before the bullets started flying.

"Everything's gone to hell since we smuggled that filthy creature off world," Wasea said. "First a Justicar shows up, now you."

Wasea moved around the crates as she spoke. She tossed the datapad down on a crate. Shepard hated how sure of herself the merc was. Powerful biotic capabilities or not, Shepard and her team were nothing to shake a stick at.

"At least I can take pleasure in turning your head into a pulpy mass," Wasea said, her voice rising to a snarl as she pulled up biotic energy to grab a crate and fling it at Shepard.

Shepard stepped to the side and the crate crashed into the wall behind her releasing a cloud of red. Wasea stalked towards Shepard, her biotics swirling around her body. Lia dove for cover and started shooting at the merc leader. Shepard and Grunt both peppered her with gunfire while moving forward. Shepard ducked down behind a crate and Grunt took the next one up from her. More mercs started to pour into the room from doors at the back of the warehouse. Shepard sent Grunt down one side while she took center. Lia stayed close to Shepard moving from cover to cover.

Shepard used her rifle to wear down Wasea's barrier and shields as the biotic threw the crates of Minagen X3 around. She was trying to herd Shepard, control the battle field. Shepard had little choice but to change her position to escape the clouds. Once Wasea's shield was down, Shepard grinned and used her biotic Charge to slam into the merc. Wasea was knocked back into a stack of crates. Shepard lifted her assault rifle and filled her full of holes before she could recover. Wasea slumped to the floor, dead.

Shepard was about to turn her attention to the other mercs when she heard Lia's scream. She whipped around and scanned the area quickly, spotting the quarian clutching her arm while firing her pistol at close range. Two mercs had slipped past and closed in on Lia. Shepard raised her gun and fired off a few shots at the mercs' feet, keeping them low so as to not hit Lia. The mercs danced back and dove for cover. Shepard ran to Lia and pulled her down behind some crates.

 _"_ _I told you this was too much for her,"_ Jane said.

"We've all taken bullets, she'll live," Shepard thought.

"Your suit would have closed that section off, Lia I need you to check if the bullet went all the way through," Shepard said.

She kept one eye on the crates the mercs dove behind while Lia worked with trembling, blood soaked fingers to feel the back of her arm.

"It did, it went all the way through, Keelah," Lia said with a shaky voice.

"That's good, it'll make the healing easier and we won't have to dig a bullet out of you. I've got medi-gel, use your antibiotics," Shepard said activating the medi-gel dispense.

One of the mercs stuck her head out of cover and Shepard rewarded her courage with a few bursts from her gun. Shepard looked back down at Lia who was still trembling but her bleeding had stopped.

"OK, stay here Lia. This is almost over," Shepard said.

"No, I wanted to come with you I'm not going to hide," Lia said.

"Are you sure?" Shepard asked.

Lia wiped her bloody hands off on her thighs and picked up her pistol. She turned over into a crouch and peeked over the edge of the crates.

"Alright then. I'm going to go straight at them, draw their attention to me. You stay low and move over to those crates over there. When you see a shot, take it," Shepard said.

Lia nodded her head. Shepard vaulted over the crates and ran forward firing her assault rifle just to keep the mercs pinned down.

"I AM KROGAN!" Grunt's voice boomed off of the warehouse walls.

Shepard reached the crates the mercs were hiding behind and glanced over to see that Lia was in place. Shepard moved around the side of the crate keeping her back to it until she could peek around the edge. Shepard flushed the mercs out of cover and right into the path of Lia's pistol. One of them fell under Shepard's fire just before Shepard heard Lia's pistol ring out twice and the second merc dropped dead.

Together, Shepard and Lia moved towards the back of the warehouse where the continued battle cries resounded from Grunt. He had taken care of all but two of them and they were currently playing cat and mouse. Grunt charged one and they ran away while the shot at him from behind. Shepard raised her assault rifle and returned fire on the merc at Grunt's six. Grunt, either tiring of the game, or realizing that Shepard was watching him, stopped chasing after the asari and shot her instead.

They checked to make sure the area was clear before moving into Wasea's office. Shepard sent Lia to hack the terminals and to look for anything else of value while she headed to Wasea's desk. Shepard found the datapad with the name of the ship that Samara was looking for. If not for the field experience it gave Lia, Shepard would have a major headache from the waste of time. Things would be so much easier if she could have just told Samara that Morinth, her Ardat-Yakshi daughter was smuggled away from Illium on a ship called the AML Demeter and that she was hiding out on Omega now. Of course, the datapad didn't say anything about Omega, or call Morinth by name. It didn't even call her an Ardat-Yakshi but Shepard new all of this just the same. Sure, her coming in here did a favor for the Illium Police by cleaning out the mercs and collecting evidence on Pitne For and Elnora but they would have eventually found all of it on their own.

Lia returned and they made their way back through the Eclipse base, stepping over dead mercs and busted up mechs as they went. Shepard spotted the great biotic wind standing next to Pitne For in front of the police station. The drugged volus sounded like he was coming to his senses. Pitne For tried to stop Shepard on her way through to the station, but she pretended not to notice him. She wasn't going to be bribed into giving him the shipping manifest, especially not right in front of a police station while trying to recruit a Justicar. She knew that some of the others had given into that temptation in other lives, and Shepard thought it was idiotic of them. They were lucky it didn't cause problems with the police or Samara.

Samara was sitting perched on the ledge of a low wall behind Detective Anaya's desk. They both looked up as Shepard and her team walked in, Shepard handed the datapad with the AML Demeter's name on it to Samara and waited while she read the information.

"Shepard, you impress me. You fulfilled your end of the bargain, and I will fulfill mine," Samara said stepping down from the wall and turning to the detective. "I am ready to leave immediately, if that will satisfy your superiors, Detective?"

"You're free to go, Justicar. It has been an honor having you in my station. And it's nice you didn't kill me, too," Anaya said.

"We won't be leaving right away; I have some other business to attend to on Illium. We'll go back to the Normandy first, though, Lia was injured and needs to see the doctor," Shepard said.

"I must be sworn to your service, so that I am never forced to choose between your orders and the Code," Samara said.

The irises of Samara's eyes flared with a white light and the Justicar knelt before Shepard. This part made Shepard uncomfortable. It was awkward having someone swear themselves into her service, but even more awkward when it was someone as severe and absolute as Samara. Shepard fought the urge to tell Samara to stand up, knowing that it would be the greatest insult to the ways of the Justicar. Detective Anaya stood up from her desk to watch the spectacle with awe.

"By the Code, I will serve you, Shepard. Your choices are my choices; your morals are my morals. Your wishes are my code," Samara said.

Her biotics flared out all around her body as she knelt before pulling in close, a mere sheen across her as she stood to face Shepard. The light faded from her eyes and the biotic glow faded.

"I never thought I'd see a Justicar swear an oath like that," Anaya said.

"If you make me do anything extremely dishonorable, I may need to kill you when I am released from my oath," Samara said.

"I'll keep that in mind, thank you, Samara. I know that this is a sacred act and I won't dishonor you or your Code," Shepard said.

"Thank you, Shepard. Truly, the life of a Justicar can get lonely. I admit, I am looking forward to serving with a company of honorable heroes," Samara said. "I am ready to leave when you are."

"I look forward to having you aboard," Shepard said before turning to Lia. "I believe Lia has some information for the detective before we go."

"What's that, you brought me back presents?" Anaya said.

Lia opened her omni-tool and played the recording of Elnora's confession for the detective as well as handed her the datapads containing the information found with Elnora's personal log and Pitne For's shipping manifest.

"Hmmm. Interesting, but it would be inadmissible. I don't have any way to verify this," Anaya said.

"But Shepard is a Spectre, doesn't that give credence to her evidence?" Lia asked.

"If it were up to me alone, but officially we're not under Council jurisdiction here," Anaya said.

"Yet the word of a Justicar does. I vouch for Shepard and any evidence she brings forward," Samara said.

"I accept the judgement of the Justicar," Anaya said.

"Great, I'm ready, Samara," Shepard said heading towards the door.

Samara followed Shepard out of the police station and to the cab stand. While they waited for the taxi, Shepard turned to the Justicar.

"Samara, are you familiar with Cerberus?" Shepard asked.

"I am not," Samara said.

Shepard nodded and said, "I didn't think you would be. I need to brief you on a few things before we get back to the Normandy."

 _"_ _We usually just give her the basics. You don't need to tell her everything,"_ Jane said.

"No, I want her to understand who they are. Who I am," Shepard thought.

Samara stood at parade rest and said, "Very well, Shepard."

"Cerberus is a private human organization. Once a part of the Alliance, they were officially disbanded and disavowed by the Alliance when the nature of their activities came to light. Since then, Cerberus has remained as a secretive organization focused, so they claim, on advancing humanities interests," Shepard said. "It really isn't that simple, though, many of their goals are to place humans above other species and in many cases at any cost. Their methods, on most things, are utterly deplorable. You would likely feel compelled to kill them all. Hell, I feel compelled to kill a lot of them."

"I see," Samara said.

"Wait, there is more to this," Shepard said. "A couple of years ago, I was an Alliance Commander and Council Spectre. I assume that you at least heard of the attacks that happened on the Citadel during that time?"

"I am aware, as I am aware of your role in defeating those responsible for those attacks," Samara said. "As a Justicar, I approve of your actions."

Shepard smiled and said, "Thanks. Well, after the attacks on the Citadel my crew was helping to clear out pockets of heretic – sorry, geth activity. I'll explain that later. The Normandy was attacked by a collector ship and the majority of the crew was forced to flee in escape pods as the ship was torn apart. I died, technically, during that attack and when my body was recovered it was given to Cerberus."

"I see, and yet you stand before me alive," Samara said.

"Cerberus used experimental technology to bring me back to life. They are working towards stopping these collector attacks on human colonies in the Terminus Systems. When I was – revived, I sought out the Council and the Alliance but because these attacks are happening in the Terminus Systems they are unable to take action without inciting a war," Shepard said. "I refuse to ignore the collector threat, which left me with little option other than to agree to temporarily work with Cerberus to take down the collectors."

"You are working with an organization whose methods you detest in order to take down a larger threat. This must have been a difficult decision for you," Samara said.

"It was, it still is but it is what needs to be done. That being said, I do not and never will consider myself to be a part of Cerberus. I have made myself clear to Cerberus on this matter," Shepard said. "I have also made it my personal mission to disabuse the Cerberus operatives that are aboard the Normandy of the notion that Cerberus is a respectable organization. Many of them have no real understanding of what the organization they work for really does."

"You hope to save them from their folly, guide them towards redemption?" Samara asked.

"I do. But I know enough about people to know that not all of them can be saved. If you are still willing to work with me knowing all of this, then I must advise you to keep in mind that some of these people may not be as trustworthy as they would make themselves seem," Shepard said.

"If we are able to stop these attacks, what will you do?" Samara asked.

"Then I return to the Alliance with every drop of information on Cerberus that I have obtained," Shepard said

"You have said nothing to dissuade me from working with you, Shepard. It is you that I am sworn to follow, and not Cerberus. I will take these things under advisement," Samara said.

"Good," Shepard said opening the taxi door.


	37. Chapter 14: I Got Better

**Chapter 14: I Got Better**

Back on the Normandy, Shepard sent Lia to see Dr. Chakwas before showing Samara around the ship. Samara took the explanation of the difference between the heretics and the geth ease and handled herself with aplomb when introduced to Legion. She remained polite but reserved through all introductions, but Shepard knew that wasn't unusual for Samara.

"This is strange for you, isn't it? Being around so many different species," Shepard said.

"I have met few who were not asari in my life, this is true," Samara said.

"I'll come by once we take off again, and you can ask me any questions you might have about any of this," Shepard said.

"I look forward to the conversation. Until then, I shall be in my meditation," Samara said.

Shepard watched as the Justicar sat in the middle of the floor facing the observation window. Biotic energy flared around her as Shepard left her to mediate. Garrus waited by the elevator when Shepard walked out of the starboard observation. Shepard paused, not expecting him to be there.

"Hey," she said walking down the hall towards him.

"You're going back out for the drell assassin, aren't you?" Garrus asked.

"I am. Want to come with me?" Shepard asked.

"And here I had a speech prepared to convince you," Garrus said.

"Why would you need a speech?" Shepard asked.

Garrus shrugged and said, "Well, you took me out on the first one today and it seemed like I upset you so…"

"I'm not upset, Garrus. I've been… concerned about some of the ways that you've changed. Not because of what these things mean to me, but because of what they would have meant to you once. How you might feel about them beneath it all, I guess. There isn't a whole lot that you could ever do that would make me stop loving you or wanting you by my side," Shepard said.

"I've come to terms with them, Shepard," Garrus said.

"OK, then I will, too," Shepard said.

"There was the other thing, too," Garrus said.

"What other thing?" Shepard asked.

"Your, hmmm, your reaction to the drell. I wasn't sure if you'd be comfortable with me being there for your reunion," Garrus said.

Shepard groaned and said, "You really had to remind me, didn't you?"

Garrus chuckled and pulled Shepard to him. She let her forehead drop against his armored chest and slipped her arms around his waist.

"As if you'd forgotten," Garrus said.

 _"_ _As if we could ever forget,"_ Jane said.

"Well it's fine with me unless it's weird for you or something," Shepard said. "Is that why you want to go?"

Shepard tilted her head back so she could watch Garrus' eyes. His mandibles fluttered and he shook his head.

"No, I want to go because he's a damn assassin and you seem to be blind to that fact. I mean, you followed him into an alley and aren't at all bothered by the fact he was watching you on the Citadel," Garrus said.

 _"_ _It really was a stupid move and you're damn lucky he didn't decide to kill you,"_ Jane said.

"But what if that had meant the end to you being forced to relive all of this?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Not if it also means that the reapers win,"_ Jane said.

"So you mean to protect me from the big bad assassin, is that it?" Shepard asked.

"You don't seem willing to protect yourself when it comes to him," Garrus said.

"That's because I don't need to be protected from him," she said.

 _"_ _You can't know that. We've always met him under completely different circumstances. You might have changed things too much with him too early for him to ever be trusting of us again,"_ Jane said.

Garrus said, "Then humor me until I get the chance to see that for myself."

"I was going to ask you to go anyway. Mordin, too. We have some time to kill before we'll take a cab to where he should be, and I wanted to speak with Mordin about some things away from the ship," Shepard said.

Garrus slipped his hand beneath Shepard's hair and ran a finger down the scar at the base of her skull. Jane flinched away from the reminder of what she still felt was a betrayal.

"That talk?" he asked.

"Yeah," Shepard said.

"Hmmm. I had to tell him, Shepard," Garrus said.

"I know, and I'm glad you did all things considered," she said.

"It would have been far worse for you if he hadn't," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _They should have talked to us about it all first, given us the chance to choose,"_ Jane said.

"Maybe, but if we had refused how could they have ever known if it was a genuine refusal or a response created by the chips?" Shepard thought.

"So when are we headed out?" Garrus asked.

"As soon as I drag Mordin away from the lab. I thought we could grab something to eat on Illium while we talk," Shepard said.

"You mean I get to eat something other than dry rations or unidentifiable goop from the mess? I'll drag him out for you, let's go," Garrus said.

Shepard laughed and hit the elevator's call button. They took the elevator up to the second deck and made their way to the labs. Mordin was busy doing something over by the collector's tank when they walked in.

"Mordin, get your salarian ass to the airlock. Shepard's buying us dinner on Illium before the next recruitment," Garrus said.

"Suggest informality, interesting. Not the whole crew so not for purpose of morale. Turian present, not mating ritual," Mordin said.

Garrus looked at Shepard with a raised brow ridge. She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders.

"Social setting. Must want to talk. Collectors? No, no, can do that on ship. STG maybe? Or… Ah. Excellent. Will be ready in ten minutes. Must finish test," Mordin said.

"How does he even do that?" Shepard asked.

Mordin grinned as he moved around to the other side of the collector tank to fiddle with the machinery keeping the collector alive. Held up his empty palms and shrugged.

"I don't know, but maybe we can find a way to bottle whatever it is and sell it. We'd be rich overnight," Garrus said.

"Just meet us at the airlock when you're ready," Shepard said.

Mordin didn't respond so Shepard and Garrus left him to his experiments. Ten minutes later, Mordin joined them by the airlock and they left the ship. Once again, Careena gave Shepard a fake smile that did nothing to cover the contempt in her eyes. Shepard led them past the trade floor and up the stairs to Eternity. Bar food wasn't the most appetizing option, but it was a good place to talk. The music from the bar would help keep them from being overheard and that was very appealing to Shepard.

Mordin looked around the bar curiously as Shepard paid a small fee to reserve the side room. The bartender took their order at the bar and told Shepard that she would bring them their order when it was ready. Shepard chose the spot that had the best view of the door and the bar outside and sat down. She glanced up when she realized Garrus was hovering over her.

"What?" Shepard asked.

"I wanted to sit there so I can watch the door," Garrus said.

"Well, so do I," Shepard said.

"Yes, but my eyes are better than yours _and_ I have my visor," Garrus said.

Shepard pursed her lips.

"Hmmm, and it's not as easy for me to get in and out of these seats, I need the leg room," he said.

"Fine," Shepard said with a sigh and scooted further down.

The bench seating wrapped around half the room, taking sharp turns at the corners. In the center sat a large circular table. Mordin sat down on Shepard's other side and watched her with anticipation.

"Before I tell you anything, let me be clear that some of your questions I simply won't have answers for," Shepard said.

 _"_ _He's going to try to dissect us,"_ Jane said.

"No he isn't," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _He'll want to,"_ Jane said.

"Understood," Mordin said.

Shepard squirmed in her seat before she began speaking, "So, apparently… I've lived this life before. Thousands of times. Only they weren't me, or well, I guess they were but not really."

Mordin blinked his eyes as he sorted through Shepard's flustered beginning statements.

"Not the whole life, I guess, it always starts for her on the same day. Gods I'm not making any sense with this," Shepard said.

"You did somehow sound less crazy when you told me," Garrus said.

"Geez, thanks. That helps," Shepard said. "This is different. There wasn't much chance of you dissecting me."

"Would never dissect you, Shepard. Not while living," Mordin said.

"And not when she's dead," Garrus said.

"Not without permission," Mordin said.

"OK, so, let me just give you Jane's perspective," Shepard said. "Commander Jane Shepard was the first, or at least that is her recollection and I've seen nothing to disprove that. She was called to the Normandy for a shakedown run to a planet called Eden Prime. She was being vetted by a Spectre named Nihlus. She found him dead on Eden Prime, killed by another Spectre named Saren."

Shepard paused when Garrus said the bartender was coming with their order. She waited for the asari to put their plates and glasses down and leave again before she continued.

"She spent the next year fighting Saren and finding out about the reapers just as I did. She saved the Citadel, just as I did. She died…," Shepard's words caught in her throat. "She died over Alchera just as I did and was brought back by Cerberus. She fought the collectors, spent time in prison, saved the galaxy from the reapers and died during the war."

Shepard took a drink from the tall glass of iced tea before continuing. She kept her eyes down on the plate in front of her as she spoke.

"Only she didn't stay dead. She woke up again, in someone else's body. Some other Commander Shepard, on the same day that they were to report to the Normandy for the same shakedown run to Eden Prime. They couldn't hear her, or feel her or anything. She didn't know what was happening or why. That Shepard went through the same things and died in the war; only to wake up with Jane in a third Shepard's body and do it all over again. It just kept happening," Shepard said.

Shepard put a French fry in her mouth and glanced at Mordin. His expression gave nothing away, his more rapid blinking the only sign that she had just told him something that sounded completely insane.

"How many times?" Mordin asked.

"She's lost count, a thousand at least," Shepard said.

"Why do you refer to 'them' as 'she'?" Mordin asked.

"She's dominant, I don't hear the others. Well, usually. I guess because she was the first," Shepard said.

"How do they die?" Mordin asked.

"We die in a device we will call the Crucible, it is made from plans found in the prothean ruins on Mars. In order to use the device to stop the reapers, we have to make a choice. All choices lead to our death, some immediate, some… not," Shepard said. "All of the choices put a stop to the reapers destruction, if what the Intelligence – that's an ancient AI living in the Citadel and another story completely – if what he tells us is true. But each choice does so in a different manner and at a cost of different sorts to the entire galaxy."

Garrus stirred beside Shepard. She hadn't even divulged this much information to him. It wasn't intentional, things had just been moving so fast since Cerberus brought her back and the two of them had gotten off to a rocky second start. She didn't really know all of this before Alchera.

"What are the choices, Shepard?" Garrus asked.

"Control, Destroy, or Synthesis," Shepard said.

 _"_ _There's a fourth option… you can refuse to decide. Everyone dies, the reapers continue on unhindered,"_ Jane said.

"But of course we would never do that," Shepard thought.

Remorse flickered ever so faintly across Shepard's mind.

"You… you did that? You let the reapers harvest everyone?!" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _No, not I. I don't acknowledge that one. That one is underserving to share our name,"_ Jane said.

"Good gods…," Shepard thought.

"Shepard?" Garrus said.

Shepard snapped her head up and looked at Garrus. He seemed to be waiting for something.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Shepard asked.

"I asked how these choices worked," he repeated.

"I'm… I'm not ready to talk about that. I'm sorry. Let's just say that either way, I die but I presumably save the galaxy in doing so. All mass relays are destroyed no matter what," Shepard said.

Garrus snapped his mandibles tight against his jaw and took a drink. He carefully set the glass back on the table.

"Fair enough. I won't force you," he said.

 _"_ _Will you talk to him about it?"_ Jane asked.

"I don't know. Eventually. Probably," Shepard thought.

"Thank you," Shepard said.

"What changed?" Mordin asked.

"I'm sorry?" Shepard said.

"What changed? The others were unaware. How are you aware?" Mordin elaborated.

"I… I don't know. I guess there just finally enough of them to start breaking through. I started having strange experiences, visions, unexplained understandings of people, places, events. Liara… Liara found something, she called it a veil, when we joined minds. I let her go poking around in there and things got ugly. Anyway, then the buzzing sound. Gods that was annoying," Shepard said stuffing another French fry in her mouth.

"I worked with an asari psychologist who specialized in humans, she helped me to understand what it all meant; taught me to learn to listen. Then I started hearing actual words. The communication was slow and tedious most of the time, but it was progressing. Then… as I was dying over Alchera something finally gave and the wall came crumbling down. I could hear her perfectly," she said.

"The events are always the same?" Mordin asked.

"Mostly, there were some things that changed from life to life. But it was like – there were a handful of ways a conversation might go, someone I might choose to kill or leave alive, the order of some things like planets that I would visit varied, but the same things always happened more or less when I did. I –," Shepard said.

"Sprits," Garrus said cutting her off.

"What?" Shepard asked.

"You keep saying 'I' and not 'they' or 'she'. You've been doing that more and more. Or sometimes you say 'we'. I don't... Hmmm. It's just… like she's slowly taking over," Garrus said.

"That's not happening. In fact, if anything she's angry because she can't. I've made a lot of changes since I first started to feel Jane, and she isn't happy about some of them," Shepard said.

"You've changed the pattern?" Mordin asked.

"Yeah, at first that was what Jane wanted me to do. In hopes that this cycle could be brought to an end. It's why she fought so hard to be heard. But then… I made the choice to let myself die because I couldn't see another option that would put me where I needed to be to fight the collectors and put an end to the reapers. We lost people we weren't supposed to lose when the Normandy went down this time… and she says it's my fault," Shepard said.

She raked her hand through her hair and took a shuddering breath before she continued.

"She felt, like physically felt, my death and the procedures they used to bring me back this time and it… well, who would be completely sane after that? She fought against me for a while, trying to block my access to her memories and refusing to help me change things further but now she's working cooperatively, if begrudgingly with me."

"And the chips?" Mordin asked.

"No, whatever you did, she didn't feel that," Shepard said.

"Excellent. Will be sure to note that in file," Mordin said. "So must find alternative method of stopping reapers."

"That's the idea," Shepard said. "So, you believe all of this?"

"Would not be good scientist if weren't skeptical. Believe you believe, willing to believe with evidence," Mordin said.

 _"_ _He thinks you're crazy,"_ Jane said.

"I can tell you things about you that you haven't told me. Like your work on the genophage modification. The Shroud on Tuchanka, you used it to distribute the genophage modification. Or your former protégé, Maelon. Or that you use to perform Gilbert and Sullivan," Shepard said in between bites. "Your friend, Maelon, you'll get word that he's in trouble soon, and we'll go to help him. And you should know that the Shroud was sabotaged after you used it, the STG were sent to make sure that if a cure was developed the Shroud couldn't be used to disperse it over Tuchanka."

Mordin began blinking more rapidly again. He steepled his fingers in front of his mouth, resting his elbows on either side of his plate.

"Activities performed with STG difficult to come by, not impossible. Especially for a Spectre. Maelon's name not classified. Gilbert and Sullivan seen by many people. Circumstantial evidence," Mordin said.

Shepard nodded her head and said, "I thought you would say that. So, I'll just have to show you in the field. Maybe show you some of the videos."

 _"_ _Gods please don't make see those again,"_ Jane said.

"I won't," Shepard thought.

"What videos?" Mordin asked.

"Jane spoke through me while Cerberus was operating on me. Miranda recorded her work, she kept the videos secret because in one of them I made mention of her sister and other people that she knew. It disturbed her enough that she wanted to talk to confront me once I was awake before sharing them with the Illusive Man. Lucky for me in that aspect. I've since convinced her to keep them secret permanently," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Assuming she can be trusted,"_ Jane said.

"You've trusted her before," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _She didn't put chips in our head before, or have those videos,"_ Jane thought.

"Intriguing. Look forward to seeing them," Mordin said.

"Because you want to hear Jane talk or because you want an inside view of how Miranda pieced me back together?" Shepard asked with a smile.

"Both, certainly. Miranda knows all of this?" Mordin asked.

"Not exactly," Garrus said.

"I convinced her that 'The Prophecies of Shepard' as she called them, were a side effect of my interactions with the prothean beacon. When this all first started, that's what I thought they were, and the beacons did cause visions. Just of death and destruction of the prothean race at the hand of the reapers. Oh, the collectors are the product of the reapers altering protheans. I'm sure you can verify that," Shepard said.

"Already have," Mordin said. "Sent you message."

"Sorry, I don't check my messages as often as I should," Shepard said while she checked her omni-tool for the time. "Anyway, we can talk about this more another time. We've got some place we need to be."

Without further comment, Shepard led them out of Eternity and back down to the trade floor. She glanced again at the stairs leading to where she wished she would find Liara before moving on through the door beside the stairs. Normally, Shepard would have been told to speak with one of the shipping station clerks, an asari named Seryna. Shepard led them across the main floor and up the stairs to the transportation district instead. She knew where she needed to go. Shepard hailed a taxi and they took it to the Dantius Towers.

"FENIRS, LOKI, rocket drones, Eclipse, and krogan bounty hunters," Shepard said lowering the cab to the skycar landing zone partway up the second tower. "Salarian civilians."

She stepped out of the cab and before Garrus and Mordin could exit, she pulled her pistol and shot out the glass covered entrance. A salarian huddled behind a support column, his attention temporarily diverted to Shepard running towards him. Garrus was out of the cab and next to Shepard with his gun out when the second salarian ran into the room, looking back over his shoulder.

"Get down!" Shepard yelled.

A LOKI stepped into view and Shepard started firing. The mech turned to address the new threat, giving the two salarians the opportunity they needed to escape. Jane had never been fast enough to save them both before. A second LOKI and two FENRIS moved into the room already redirecting themselves towards Shepard and her crew. Mordin used his Cryoblast to freeze the two FENRIS mechs who were gaining ground on Shepard and Garrus.

Garrus turned his assault rifle on the frozen dogs while Shepard focused on the LOKIs. She used her biotic Charge to slam into one, knocking it back before shooting it in the head and lighting it's insides on fire. She heard one of the FENRIS mechs shatter as she turned to fire on the second LOKI. A moment later the mechs were all down.

"Garrus, grab that terminal in there. Mordin, there's a medical station," Shepard said.

She made her way to where the salarians huddled by a door and crouched down in front of them.

"My name is Commander Shepard. I'm a Spectre. It's alright, you're safe now. Are you hurt?" she asked.

"No… you got here just in time, thank you," one of the salarians said.

"What's happening? Why is she doing this?" the second salarian asked.

Shepard shook her head and said, "I don't know. You should get out of here before more mechs arrive."

Shepard stood up and offered her hand to the first salarian. Garrus and Mordin came over as she was helping the second salarian to his feet. The two salarians mumbled another 'thank you' to Mordin and Garrus as they rushed past them headed for the exit. She opened the door in front of her and turned left down the hall.

"That glass is easily breakable, keep away from it," Shepard said as she glanced out of the glass lining the entire outer wall.

They moved quietly down the hall until it opened up into a room filled with construction materials stacked around. Shepard used hand signals to tell her team that there were enemies ahead and to seek cover before crouching low and running for cover herself. Shepard open fired on the Eclipse mercs at the other end of the room, drawing their attention and their return fire to her location. Garrus moved from his hidden position to a better vantage point before opening fire on the advancing FENRIS mechs. The mercs began to pull back, realizing Shepard wasn't alone and an easy target. LOKI mechs moved forward, unconcerned with the danger Shepard represented and only seeing an intruder that they were programed to deal with. Shepard waited for them to get close enough together before she threw a Shockwave and knocked three of them back.

Working with Garrus and Mordin, two well, formally trained men was a breath of fresh air after her last run with the inexperienced, nervous Lia and the impatient, brutish Grunt. With Garrus and Mordin, Shepard was able to anticipate their movements, give fewer orders, and act with complete faith that they had each other's backs. Especially Garrus, his methodology might have changed, but she still knew what to expect from him when it mattered and the two of them moved together across any battlefield like lovers on a dancefloor.

They pushed their way into the next area where the mercs had retreated, foolishly thinking that the mechs would be able to take care of the problem for them. Even with a handful more of mechs at their disposal, the mercs were easily taken care of. Garrus was particularly delighted by the open construction areas where he could maneuver a target close enough to the edge to be knocked over to fall to their death.

"Practical, saves ammunition," Mordin said after noticing the technique.

They followed the floor plan as it rounded the open area, fighting off the mercs and mechs until they reached a door that led to a ramp. Shepard assumed that eventually a staircase would replace the ramp but for now, she preferred the ramp. It got her to the top faster. She opened the next door and used hand signals to direct her team forward and into cover.

"Hey, I think he went in here," a merc's voice echoed from somewhere.

 _"_ _Good, he's where he's supposed to be,"_ Jane said.

Shepard put her back to a partial wall and peered around the edge. She could still hear the mercs arguing about who would go after the assassin when she fired her pistol at a LOKI. Mercs and mechs swarmed into view lining up easy targets for Shepard and her crew. They cut through the enemies in their way, letting the bodies and destroyed mechs fall where they may. Shepard felt bad for the police officers that would get called out to this scene. She'd be gone by the time they arrived, but with the two other mercenary massacres she'd already left on Illium, any detective worth their salt would know she was behind the new body count. Maybe they'd give her a metal.

Shepard kept her team moving forward through the twisting construction site until they came to the elevator door. Shepard moved right past the elevator and towards a locked door around the corner. She nodded her head down the hall.

"Garrus, there's some stuff at that end. Mordin, with me," Shepard said.

Garrus nodded towards the door and asked, "What's in there?"

"Afraid I'm going to find the assassin without you? He's not in there, but he did lock some civilians in there for their safety," Shepard said.

"Hmmm, alright," Garrus said before jogging down the hall.

Shepard holstered her gun and nodded at Mordin to do the same before hacking the door. The three salarians inside took a step back as Shepard took a step forward, their eyes darting between her and Mordin. Shepard held up a hand, and stepped out of the way of the door hoping they wouldn't feel trapped.

"It's alright; we're not here to hurt you. You're free to go, we've cleared out the lower levels but be cautious," Shepard said.

"Thank you. We are in your debt," one of the salarians moving for the door.

"Who locked you in here?" Mordin asked.

The salarians stopped in the doorway and looked to Mordin.

"I don't know who he was. He's no salarian, I can tell you that," the second salarian answered.

"Green skin, black markings, and a red frill?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, how'd you know?" the third salarian asked.

"He's a drell. We're here to find him," Shepard said.

"He saved our lives, if you find him, thank him for us," the first salarian said.

"I will," Shepard said. "You should hurry; I don't know how long the lower levels will stay clear."

The salarians nodded and moved out of the room. Shepard watched as they stayed low and ran from cover to cover, peering around the edges before moving on. Garrus made his way back up the hall with a new sniper rifle slung over his shoulder. His eyes tracked the frightened prey-like movements of the salarians as they disappeared from view.

Shepard led them back to the elevator and motioned for them to take cover before summoning the elevator and taking cover herself. She drew her shotgun and readied it with incendiary ammo while she waited. The elevator doors slid open to a krogan bounty hunter and two asari Eclipse. Shepard stood and fired a round at the krogan, ensuring his ire would be focused on her. The mercs moved out of the elevator, the asari already glowing blue as they pulled up biotic energy. Mordin and Garrus distracted the Eclipse while Shepard focused on the pissed off krogan, dancing back out of his reach as he slowly made his way towards her. She broke through his shields and kept the pressure on him, slowly tearing through his armor.

The krogan began to charge and Shepard stepped out of his way, putting him in the perfect position for her as he teetered to a stop near the edge of the construction drop off. Shepard hit him with a Shockwave and knocked him back over the edge. She turned back around to see Garrus finishing off the last Eclipse. Mordin and Garrus moved to her location as she looked down over the edge. It was too dark for her to see the bottom; she was pretty sure that even a krogan wouldn't survive that. Shepard turned and led them back to the elevator before taking it up.

The elevator doors opened again to reveal an Eclipse merc pacing back and forth in front of a window as he tried to assure someone on his radio insisting that his team could handle it and he didn't need reinforcements. Garrus fired a concussive shot at the merc, knocking him forward through the tower's window.

"Garrus!" Shepard scolded.

"What? Did we need him for something?" Garrus asked.

"No, but… I wanted to do that," Shepard said.

Garrus chuckled and said, "Next one's all yours."

Shepard stopped to pick up the datapad lying on the floor in front of the elevator and tucked it away without bothering to look at it, still grumbling under her breath.

"What was that?" Garrus asked.

"Information on the Kirosa family," Shepard said.

"Kirosa family?" Mordin asked.

"Yeah, there's a salarian looking for it. We past him just outside of the main trade floor on our way to get a cab," Shepard said digging the datapad back out and passing it to Mordin.

Mordin looked over the salarian's family pedigree and gave the datapad back to Shepard without comment. She tucked it away again and headed to the door on her. Her team swatted away the handful of mercs and mechs in the next room like flies at a picnic. Nassana's voice came through a console at the back next to a ramp leading to the next floor.

"Where is everyone? Will somebody please give me a report?" Nassana said.

"Mordin, get the civilians out of there. One of them has a gun, but for the love of gods, he's just scared so don't shoot him," Shepard said pointing towards the locked door beneath the ramp.

"Answer me, damn it!" Nassana's voice said from the console.

Mordin nodded and moved to open the door while Garrus followed Shepard over to the console. Shepard opened the comm link on the console.

"It's about time! What's going on down there?" Nassana said.

"Patience, Nassana. We'll see you soon enough," Shepard said.

"What? Who is this? You think you can just walk in here and take _me_ out? Do you have any idea who _I_ am?" Nassana asked.

"Oh I'm not here to take you out, Nassana," Shepard said.

Shepard glanced towards Mordin and saw the three salarians that were locked in that room rushing out the door. Mordin turned and jogged over to Shepard and Garrus. Shepard ignored Nassana's continued rant and started up the ramp. Near the top she signaled for Mordin and Garrus to be prepared to take cover before moving in to fire on the first LOKI she saw. Mordin followed up with his Incinerate and the mech exploded.

Garrus moved past her to take cover behind a stack of metal sheeting before firing on the next advancing LOKI. Shepard moved forward, finishing off the mech before ducking behind a support column and edging around it to get a shot in at the Eclipse taking cover nearby. Mordin moved up and fired at another Eclipse just around the floors bend. The asari Shepard shot at returned fire, tagging Shepard in her wounded shoulder. The shot wasn't enough to completely drop her shields but with the shoulder already wounded she felt the sting of the impact anyway.

She bit off a curse and threw a biotic Reave at the merc, following it up with several more rounds while the merc was doubled over from the Reave. Garrus moved in and took the kill shot on the merc Mordin was targeting before starting on the next. Shepard pushed forward taking out the Eclipse Garrus had just shot even as he was already turning to line up a concussive shot at the final merc. He dropped her shields and Mordin used a Cryoblast to snap freeze her before Shepard started her Charge. Shepard slammed into the frozen merc and she shattered to pieces.

Rounding the corner, Shepard went straight for cover, her team following her lead. Eclipse could be heard talking about explosives and Mordin took that as his cue. The salarian peered around the edge, his eyes locking on the explosives being set up ahead as easily as Shepard's eyes would have found a CO in a crowded room. Mordin targeted the tank with his Incinerate before ducking back down. They heard the sound of the tank exploding and used the distraction to move forward with an open fire clearing out the survivors.

"Rocket drones above," Shepard said as she moved out onto the bridge and straight for cover.

"I don't care what you do, no one gets across that bridge," Nassana ordered over the loudspeaker.

Shepard used Shockwaves to send as many of the enemy targets over the side of the bridge as she could. She used her Charge to cross as much of the bridges surface as quickly as she could, getting her closer to the rocket drones. She knew that it would be a waste of power cells to try to take them out from that distance and if she got closer she could just use her gun. Garrus and Mordin moved behind her from cover to cover, finishing off the enemies Shepard left wounded but alive in her wake. When she got close enough she ducked down behind a stack of crates and started firing. Garrus and Mordin kept the advancing mercs off her back while she focused on the drones. A rocket blew up a crate Mordin was standing behind, knocking the salarian out of the game.

"Shit, Garrus, get that drone," Shepard said.

Shepard got Mordin back on his feet while Garrus covered her six. With the rocket drones out of the way, Shepard moved her team up the flight of stairs to finish off the mercs at the top. She stopped outside of the door that would lead to Nassana's office and reached for the door's release. Her hand stopped halfway there, the first inkling of doubt nagging at her. She couldn't help to wonder, in this moment of truth, if her interaction with Thane on the Citadel changed things for the worse. He might not trust her now, he might refuse to come. Hell, he might even try to kill her but she didn't believe that he would. Thane didn't enjoy killing, he killed because it was what he was trained to do. If he had assessed Shepard to be a serious enough threat to warrant killing her without a contract, she would already be dead. Shepard hit the door's release and watched as it slid open.

Nassana paced behind her desk surrounded by three Eclipse guards. She turned to look out the window, her head turning slightly towards the sound of Shepard and her team approaching. Her guards drew their weapons, aiming them at Shepard as she continued her casual stroll. Nassana spun around.

"Shepard? But… you're dead," Nassana said.

Shepard heard the first hint of a chuckle from Garrus and shot an icy look his way.

"Gods damn it," Shepard grumbled.

Shepard took a couple more steps forward and shrugged her shoulders.

"I got better," she said.

"It's a really good line," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Thanks, we always thought so,"_ Jane said.

"And now you're here to kill me," Nassana said.

Shepard shook her head and said, "I already told you, Nassana. I'm not here to take you out. Though after seeing what you did to your employees, it would be the highlight of my day. But no, I'm just here for the show. This isn't my kill."

"What's stopping you, Shepard? I doubt you fought your way through my defenses to stand here and patronize me," Nassana said turning to look out her window again.

"You mean like when you hoped to convince me to kill your sister for you, thinking that I wouldn't find out that you knew she was involved in the slave trade?" Shepard said.

"That hardly matters now, does it? You killed her before coming to see me. It wasn't what I had planned, but it got the job done either way," Nassana said turning around and pacing.

"You know, Shepard, the look on your face when you came to see me that day… the way you ran off as soon as you could, I was beginning to seriously think that the Council had made a terrible mistake making you a Spectre," Nassana said. "For all of your bravado, you looked like you were going to be sick. I didn't think you were cut out for the title, but then you proved me wrong didn't you?"

A sound from the ceiling above caught the attention of one of the mercs. A smile tugged at Shepard's lips as the mercs began looking around the room, moving their weapons as they tried to track the source of the sound.

"I left as fast as I could because when I looked at you I realized I was looking at a dead woman. You're already dead, Nassana. You just haven't accepted it yet. When I looked at you that day, I saw this very moment and in that moment, I knew exactly how you were going to die," Shepard said.

Rage flickered across Nassana's face as she heard the utter truth in Shepard's words. She turned her head and started to move away from the desk, ordering her guard to check the other entrances but it was too late. Thane dropped out of the ventilation system in the ceiling. His eyes locked onto Shepard's for a heartbeat. Then he was moving again, flowing like water as he stepped forward and snapped the neck of the merc in front of him. The next started to turn towards the sound of his partner's grunt of surprise and was met with Thane's palm on his back, locking him in place before Thane's fist connected with his windpipe.

Nassana drew her gun and started to turn towards the threat, but it was far, far too late. Thane drew his pistol and fired into the chest of the last merc, at close range it tore through her shields and she fell back. Thane spun and grabbed Nassana's forearm pulling her in closer. The gun in Nassana's hand fired, hitting the asari merc and ending her life. Thane pressed the pistol against Nassana's stomach. There was the briefest moment of pause. Shepard wondered what flowed through the assassin's mind in that moment, but then when Nassana raised her head and her eyes met his's just before he pulled the trigger, Shepard knew. He wanted her to see him clearly before she died. Jane had never pressed him for the reasons behind why he chose Nassana as his last kill. Perhaps she should.

As Nassana let out her last pained gasps, Thane holstered his weapon so he could cradle the dying woman's body. He laid her gently back against her desk before crossing her arms, one hand atop the other, to rest on her chest. Thane took a step back and watched her breath her last before clasping his hands in front of him and bowing his head.

"What is he doing?" Garrus asked.

"Praying," Shepard said quietly.

"He just shot a woman in the stomach at point blank and now he's praying for her?" Garrus asked.

"No, he's praying for himself," Shepard said. "Prayers for the wicked must not be forsaken."

"Hmmm. What?" Garrus asked, confused.

"His words," she said.

Thane raised his head and clasped his hands behind his back. He watched Shepard in silence for a moment, the lights filtering in through the window at his back distorting his features from her scrutiny.

"I was afraid you wouldn't be here," Shepard finally said.

"It is where I am meant to be," Thane said.

Thane began to walk around the desk, Garrus and Mordin raised their weapons to track his movements. Thane continued to move around the desk and towards Shepard unconcerned.

"Put them away," Shepard said.

"Shepard…," Garrus said.

"I'm not asking you to trust him, Garrus. I'm asking you to trust me," Shepard said.

Garrus put the weapon away with a growl. As the noise rose from his chest, Thane's head tilted slightly. His eyes began to move rapidly as if seeing something that wasn't there. Shepard recognized the expression, she knew what was about to happen.

"I follow her to a bar. She takes a seat next to a turian; he turns in his seat towards her. His body language speaks of familiarity. She orders a drink. I circle through the crowd and step into the shadows nearby. He breathes heavily of the air around her. 'Sprits, woman what am I smelling on you?' he asks. She brings the glass to her lips and lifts a shoulder. 'Drell,' she says," Thane said.

 _"_ _Of course he was there. He heard the two of you speak about your attraction to Thane, and Garrus' threats. He heard all of that. He heard my name,"_ Jane said

Shepard groaned, recalling the nature of the conversation herself. Garrus growled again and took a step forward; Shepard threw her hand out, smacking her palm against his chest. The movement pulling Thane from his eidetic recollections

"Garrus, stop. We already knew that he's followed me before. It was my fault. Just calm down," Shepard said.

"My apologies," Thane said to Garrus.

"For what? Threatening to break her neck? Stalking her across the Citadel? Eavesdropping on a private conversation? Or just for rubbing it in her face now?" Garrus asked.

"Damn it, Garrus. Don't antagonize the assassin. Drell have perfect recall, and sometimes when a memory is triggered, if it's a strong enough memory they just kind of slip into it again," Shepard said.

Garrus crossed his arms and said, "Fine. So what triggered the memory?"

"You growled at her as you did that day," Thane said gesturing at Shepard.

"I didn't growl _at_ her. I growled _because_ of her; she's a very frustrating woman," Garrus said.

"Indeed," Thane said clasping his hands behind his back.

"An agreeable statement," Mordin said.

Shepard sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose before returning to parade rest.

"Krios, when we first met; I told you why I would be here today," Shepard said.

Thane turned away from Shepard and took a few steps towards Nassana's desk. He watched the skycars move by through the window before he finally spoke again.

"Yes. The collectors are abducting human colonists. You intend to stop them and wish for my aid," Thane said. "I assume you have considered the risks of such an endeavor."

"I know the odds are slim, and I know that it must be done regardless. And I know that you are sick and dying. The thought of this being a one way trip isn't a deterrent for you. Will you join us?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _Maybe_ you _should stop antagonizing the assassin,"_ Jane said.

Thane glanced over his shoulder at Shepard and said, "You appear to know a significant amount about me, Spectre."

"I'm sure by now you know far more about me," Shepard said.

"Not as much as I find I would like to know," Thane said turning back to the window. "Yes, Shepard. I will join you."

"Fantastic. Then we should get out of here before this place is swarming with police," Garrus said.

"Indeed," Thane said turning back to the group.

Mordin began to open his omni-tool stepping towards Thane.

"Mordin, your scans can wait until we're back on the Normandy," Shepard said.

"Want to be sure nothing contagious," Mordin said.

"It's Kepral's Syndrome," Shepard and Thane said in unison.

"Ah. So not contagious," Mordin said closing his omni-tool.

"You don't have to sound so disappointed," Garrus said.

"Only rare opportunity to study drell physiology. Kepral's syndrome already well documented. No cure found. Perhaps future project. After collectors," Mordin said.

"Just remember our agreement; permission is required before running any experiments on myself or anyone else on the ship," Shepard said leading them back to the skycar.

"Of course. Won't happen again," Mordin said.


	38. Chapter 15: Existential Crisis

**Chapter 15: Existential Crisis**

Shepard stopped inside of the airlock and started removing her armor.

"Seriously, I don't know how you wear that around the clock," she said to Garrus.

Garrus chuckled before helping her with the clasps, sliding the breastplate away from her chest.

"Not everyone in the galaxy can be as good as a turian," he said.

"Garrus, you don't even consider yourself to be a good turian," Shepard said working on her greaves.

"Which makes you all the more adorable for trying so hard," he said.

"Alright, Vakarian. Don't make me hand your metal plated ass to you," Shepard said.

"Hmmm. I'll make your –," Garrus said before he glanced at Thane. "Ah, right."

Shepard smirked and led them towards the galaxy map.

"Give me a second, I want to get us off of Illium," Shepard said.

Mordin had returned to his labs the second they passed through the Normandy's airlock. Shepard wondered what the salarian was thinking about everything she told him but now wasn't the time to ask. Garrus stood behind and to the side of Thane, still watching him warily as Thane waited with his hands behind his back. He seemed disinterested in the ship and crew as she moved him throughout the Normandy. Shepard knew that he was taking in and cataloging everything his eyes saw, though, and would likely spend some time in the night stalking the ship to gain familiarity. Shepard set her armor down beneath the laptop next to the galaxy map. She entered the coordinates for the Citadel and stepped back from the map.

"Do you want the full tour?" Shepard asked.

"I do not believe that will be necessary," Thane said.

"Going to wait until half the crew is asleep and figure it all out yourself?" Shepard asked with a smirk.

 _"_ _Why must you antagonize him?"_ Jane asked.

"I'm not antagonizing him. I'm just talking to him, Jane," Shepard thought.

Thane's only response was a slight twitch of his lips.

"Alright, well I'll give you the abbreviated version," Shepard said turning to point towards the cockpit.

"The cockpit is that way, obviously. The pilot's name is Joker. Joker say hi," Shepard said.

"Hello Mr. Assassin, sir. Please don't kill me in my sleep, sir," Joker said over the comm.

"Joker!" Shepard said.

 _"_ _Joker!"_ Jane echoed.

"What? I'm just saying," Joker said.

"Maybe if you don't want the assassin to kill you, you should try not being an ass," Shepard said.

"So you prefer being killed while you're awake? Just so we're clear. I haven't forgotten about the elevator," Garrus said.

"Hey, it worked, didn't it?" Joker replied.

"Alright, so anyway, before we scare the nice assassin away with the sheer level of unprofessionalism we've shown him so far, let's move this along," Shepard said glancing at Thane.

He gave her a slight smile and a nod encouraging her to lead the way.

 _"_ _He's never going to take you seriously if you can't demand respect from your crew,"_ Jane said.

"My crew respects me just fine. Joker gave you shit, too," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Yeah, in private discussions. You've turned this ship into a playground,"_ Jane said.

"What is your problem?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Thane is a serious person. So is Samara. Do you really expect them to be comfortable with the way you're running things around here?"_ Jane asked.

"I don't know, but I guess we'll find out," Shepard thought. "I need things to be a little less serious. It's the only way I'm not committing myself to a psych ward so lay off."

"You're standing in the CIC, clearly. That's Kelly Chambers over there; she'll likely want to talk to you at some point," Shepard said pointing at Kelly who waved enthusiastically in response.

Thane bowed at the waist and dipped his head to Kelly who blushed like a school girl and giggled. Shepard rolled her eyes and Garrus chuckled.

"Tech labs, that's where Mordin can usually be found, armory is Jacob's station. You can pass through either room to get to the comm room, that's where mission briefings will be held. EDI, why don't you introduce yourself?" Shepard said stopping next to EDI's access node by the elevator.

EDI's blue hologram popped up in front of Shepard.

"Welcome, Mr. Krios. I am EDI. That is short for Enhanced Defense Intelligence. You may access any of my nodes spread throughout the ship to gain information on any specific area. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask and I will do my best to provide you with an answer. I have unlocked the door to the life support systems. Shepard has informed me that you would be the most comfortable in the drier air of the life support," EDI said.

"EDI, you didn't really need to tell him that," Shepard said.

 _"_ _She's still shackled. She doesn't fully get the intricacies of private conversations,"_ Jane said.

"She gets far more than what you think. Then what anyone thinks," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _What makes you so sure?"_ Jane asked.

"Because I've actually been paying attention. Having actual conversations with her and treating her like a person. You didn't really do any of that until after her shackles were removed, and even then not really until she had a body," Shepard thought.

"My apologies, Shepard. You seemed –," EDI began to say.

"EDI! I will mute you," Shepard said.

"Of course, Shepard," EDI said.

"Ah, an AI. My thanks," Thane said to EDI.

"Of course, Mr. Krios," EDI said and the blue hologram disappeared.

Shepard hit the elevator call button a little harder than necessary.

"Yeah, OK, so I'll take you to the life support so you can settle in," Shepard said.

"The accommodation is appreciated," Thane said.

Shepard shrugged a shoulder as the elevator door opened. She stepped inside and turned around next to the console. Thane followed her inside with Garrus at his heel. Shepard was pleased to see that Thane was coolly accepting of Garrus' self-assigned guard duty for the time being. The doors closed as Kelly started gathering up Shepard's discarded armor.

"The top floor is occupied solely by the captain's cabin. The third floor is where we'll be going. The fourth is where engineering is located. A few people you will be working with on missions are also located on that floor. Jack is beneath engineering, Zaeed is in the in the starboard cargo, and Grunt is in the port cargo," Shepard said.

The elevator slid open and the three stepped out. Shepard turned to point past the elevators and said, "The med bay is just around this corner, our doctor's name is Dr. Karen Chakwas. Legion is in the AI core at the back of the med bay. Lia is usually either with him or with the doctor," Shepard said.

"She's been spending a lot of time with Kasumi lately as well," Garrus offered.

"I see, good to know. Miranda Lawson can be found around this corner. Mess is between the two, and the main battery is at the back past the hall with the cryo pods. Garrus and Grundan Krul are usually found there."

Shepard glanced at Garrus and he fluttered his mandibles.

"I'd better get back to my station, I'm sure hmmmm, things need calibrated," Garrus said walking away.

Shepard turned and led Thane to the life support door before stopping just outside to point down the hall.

"Kasumi Goto is in the port observation; Samara – we just picked her up on Illium today as well – she's in the starboard observation. Opposite life support, just over there are the crew quarters. Restroom is behind us," Shepard said.

Shepard touched the door release and when the doors slid open she gestured inwards toward the room. Thane didn't move so she glanced up at him. He watched her expectantly.

"Of course. You want me to enter first. Right," Shepard said.

 _"_ _You know, I'm just saying that I know these people. I know how they think, what they find appealing and what they don't. I get that you've changed and aren't the same as us anymore but that doesn't mean that they have,"_ Jane said sounding as irritated as Shepard felt with her.

"I'm allowed to have my own relationships with these people. Interact with them in my own way. I don't have to do things the way you did them. Hell, wasn't that the point?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _No, it wasn't the point! The point was for you to figure out why this is happening and stop it from continuing. Change what had to be changed to prevent it from happening again. The point was not for you to run amok making a mockery out of my life!"_ Jane said.

"This isn't your life! It's my life. Do you get it? _My_ life. I'm not just some… distorted copy of you, Jane. I don't exist just so that you can carry on in this world relieving your moments of glory and failure. This is my life… and you're the interloper," Shepard thought.

Shepard came to an abrupt stop in the doorway as the argument grew heated with Jane. Thane waited patiently behind her until she realized she was standing there like an idiot. Shepard mumbled an apology and walked into the life support room. She was alone with her back turned to the assassin for the first time since she met him on the Citadel. A flurry of emotions bounced around in her skull; half hers and half Jane's. Shepard distracted herself by opening her omni-tool and scanned the room until she could calm herself. Thane passively watched her as she moved about the room digging out the few bugs that were tucked in crevices. He stood just past the narrow entryway, effectively blocking the exit.

Shepard set the handful of devices down on the table next to the observation window that looked out over the drive core. She glanced up at him as she began shutting down each of the small listening devices and setting them in a new pile.

"I'm sure you have questions," Shepard said looking back at the table.

"Indeed," Thane said.

His voice was right next to her and she hadn't heard him move. Shepard's muscles twitched, and she dropped the button-sized device. It clattered to the table, bouncing and rolling off onto the floor. Shepard watched as Thane crouched to retrieve the device. He stood back up, no more than two feet away from her holding the bug between thumb and forefinger. He twisted the bug around in his dexterous fingers, flipping it upside down and side to side before extending his hand to Shepard.

Shepard found her mouth had gone dry. She licked her lips and opened her palm. Thane placed the bug in her hand before clasping his behind his back once more. Shepard deactivated the device before setting it down and picking up the last one.

"Thanks," she said.

"Why have you decided to remove them?" Thane asked nodding towards the bugs.

"It wasn't my call to put them up," Shepard said shutting off the last one and setting it next to the others. "Cerberus put them in place before they put me on the ship. I've been removing them as I go. No one else has been in here since I've been aboard, and the door's remained locked. Wasn't a reason to sweep the room until now… you might want to check it again periodically."

"Of course," Thane said.

Shepard motioned at the chair Thane normally occupied in Jane's memories.

"If you want to sit down, I'll see what answers I can give you," Shepard said.

He didn't even look at the chair. He kept his penetrating, darkened eyes focused on hers.

"I would prefer to stand for now, if you don't mind," Thane said.

Shepard pursed her lips and asked, "Watching my pupils?"

"Yes," Thane said.

"What, not going to wrap your hands around my throat this time? I'm almost disappointed. I guess I'm not as scary as I thought," Shepard said.

"I can, if you would prefer. However, I would hate to give your turian friend a reason to decide he needs to… I believe his words were 'rip his throat out'," Thane said.

Heat started to rise up in Shepard's cheeks and she rubbed at the back of her neck.

"Yeah, this isn't going to be awkward at all," she muttered to herself.

The corner of Thane's mouth rose in a slight smirk.

"Gods… you find this amusing. Fantastic," Shepard said.

"Your attraction is… flattering, his response is amusing," Thane said.

"Ahhh… yeah… do we need to talk about that? Because I am totally fine with pretending it never happened," Shepard said.

"Of course not. I did not intend to make you uncomfortable," Thane said.

Shepard searched his eyes, her own narrowing.

 _"_ _There, right around the corner of his eyes. Do you see it?"_ Jane asked; her anger eased.

"Yeah," Shepard thought.

"Mmmmmm… yeah you did," Shepard said. "That's OK, I get it. I acted pretty crazy following you on the Citadel and everything. You're still trying to understand my behavior and until you make sense out of it, you're not going to trust me. Until then, it works in your favor to keep me off balance… and I handed you the perfect tool to use."

"An astute observation," Thane said dipping his head. "I have learned a significant amount about you in the time since that day. I have found nothing that provides an adequate explanation."

Shepard turned her head to the observation window. The blue white energy spun and pulsed across the surface of the drive core emitting a faint hum that could be heard and even felt in the room. She crossed her arms and leaned her hip into the table before turning back to face him again.

"I gave you an explanation. In the simplest way that I could. The first person I ever told so easily… I guess I thought… never mind, it was my mistake," Shepard said.

Shepard's eyes stung with the threat of tears.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _What did you really expect?"_ Jane asked.

"I don't know… I obviously didn't think that whole thing through, now what the hell do I tell him?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _The truth? Seems like you're letting everyone in on it anyway,"_ Jane said.

"Will he even believe it?" Shepard thought.

Shepard got the distinct impression that Jane had just shrugged. Shepard pushed her palms into her eyes, pushing back even the thought of tears. She turned her attention back to Thane and listened intently as he started to speak.

"Once a soul has gone to the sea, it rarely leaves Kalahira's realm. The teachings do speak of these things, on occasion. When there is great need, a great strife in the world, the soul of a warrior or a healer might be called upon to serve once more," Thane said quietly.

 _"_ _Could it really be?"_ Jane asked.

"The soul is given to Arashu and placed into a new vessel, where it must grow and endure the hardships of the flesh once more. Forgetting who they once were and the life they lived before. Only knowing a longing to return to a home they cannot recall. Until the time has come and the soul has served the purpose it was called upon to serve. Only then will it return to the sea," Thane said.

 _"_ _But we never forget… and we don't grow… I don't understand,"_ Jane said.

Shepard wrapped an arm around herself and used it as an elbow-rest for her other arm. She traced a finger back and forth across her lip in thought as she considered Thane's words. Weighing them against Jane's experience – against her experience. They lacked that distinct ring of truth that she was hoping to find.

"The teachings do not say that they will live the same life as before, as you suggested that day," Thane said after a pregnant pause.

Disappointment flooded Shepard, and echoed back to her from Jane. Thane studied her as she went from caressing her lip to chewing on her fingernail. Finally, Shepard let her hand drop from her mouth and locked her eyes on Thane's, hoping he would see the truth in her eyes.

"I don't know what else to call it," Shepard said. "I was… I think I was hoping you could tell me."

That seemed to catch Thane by surprise. A look crossed his face that in all of Jane's memories Shepard had never seen there before. His brow shot up and his eyes bulged, his lower jaw dropping ever so slightly parting his lips and revealing the row of white teeth behind them. Shepard shook her head and raked her hands through her hair.

"I sound like an idiot. I should… I should go. Let you get settled in, meet the crew, whatever," Shepard said stepping around Thane.

She was halfway to the door when the drell recovered and turned towards her.

"Shepard…," Thane said.

She glanced back over her shoulder and muttered, "I'm sorry. I'll uh, I'll have EDI forward you the mission briefing. If you need anything, I'm sure she'd be more than happy to help. Or Kelly, she's uh, she's very helpful. I don't know. I… I should go."

Shepard rushed out of the life support to the elevator. She pushed the button on the elevator and ran her hands through her hair. The heat was staring to build back up behind her eyes. Jane's disappointment was egging Shepard's need to escape on.

"Come on," Shepard said under her breath. "Come on. Come on. Come on."

Shepard glanced back at the door to life support, silently begging Thane to not walk out of that room to come looking for her.

"Shepard? Shepard what's wrong?" Garrus said.

Shepard snapped her head around to see Garrus moving towards her from the other direction. She didn't see where he came from but she was glad he was there. A second later he was by her side, his hands gripping her shoulders as he looked her up and down searching for injuries and drinking in her scent.

"What happened? Did he do something? Did he attack you?" Garrus asked.

"What? Gods, Garrus. No. No, he didn't do anything. I'm the idiot who did this to myself," Shepard said.

The elevator door slid open and Shepard stepped inside; Garrus following her. Once the doors slid closed on them Shepard pushed the button for the top floor and pushed her palms into her eyes once more. Garrus frowned and pulled his mandibles in against his jaw before wrapping her in his arms.

"Talk to me," he said.

 _"_ _Of course it isn't something so… so spiritual. I wanted to believe it too, when the thought first crossed your mind. It can't be though, this has to have something to do with the reapers… or something Cerberus did. Nothing else makes sense,"_ Jane said.

Shepard shook her head and sighed. He pulled her in closer and she tucked her face down against his chest. The elevator door slid open and he led her to her cabin. Garrus walked her over to the couch and sat down before pulling her down next to him.

"Shepard, what happened?" Garrus asked again.

"I thought… oh gods, I'm so stupid. I don't know what I thought. I guess I… I hoped he might have some answers. Some clue, a lead I could follow," Shepard said as the tears she had been fighting started to trek down her cheeks.

"Answers to what?" Garrus asked.

"To what the hell I'm going through. Why all of this is happening to me," Shepard said.

"You mean Jane?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah," Shepard said.

"Why would he have answers?" Garrus asked.

"Because… I don't know. It's not like I believe in his religion or whatever, but I know that a lot of religions draw from pieces of the truth. Things that have actually happened," Shepard said starting to ramble with her frustration. "They get distorted over time, but I thought that maybe if there was something… a legend or something, that I could trace it back to its roots or something. Fuck. I don't know, Garrus. I'm foolish and desperate. He spent a lot of time talking about his goddesses with Jane."

Garrus put a hand on Shepard's head and guided it to his shoulder, stroking down her grown out hair with his gloved hand.

"Does it really matter why this is happening? If you found a reason for it, would it change anything?" Garrus asked.

 _"_ _Of course it would,"_ Jane said.

"I… I don't know. Maybe. Probably not, but it could. I just… she's so tired, Garrus. I want this to end for her sake as much as mine. I don't want to wake up again in someone else's body when this is all over," Shepard said.

"I know. Hmmm, you're doing your best to make sure that doesn't happen and I'm here with you. Whatever you need, Shepard. Alright? We'll figure this out together," Garrus said.

Shepard's tears slowly eased and she nodded her head.

"You've had a long day. Why don't you hop in the shower and I'll go get us something to snack on?" Garrus said.

"I need to talk to Samara. I told her I'd come by to talk more after I was finished with things on Illium," Shepard said.

"Samara is an ancient asari; I think she knows how to handle waiting. If you want, I'll stop by and let her know you're not feeling well," Garrus said.

"Yeah. OK. Tell her I promise I'll come see her first thing tomorrow," Shepard said.

"I'm on it. I'll be back in a few minutes," Garrus said.

 _"_ _He loves you. So much more than he ever loved us. He gives so much more of himself to you,"_ Jane said.

"It's just because we started sooner, had more time together," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _No… it's because you give so much more of yourself to him than we ever did. You're right, you're not just a copy of me… you're… more real than I ever was,"_ Jane said.

"What does that even mean?" Shepard thought but Jane didn't answer.

Shepard watched Garrus leave before taking off her clothes and throwing them in the laundry chute. She dug around in her chest and pulled out an N7 tank top and a pair of pajama bottoms before going into the bathroom. Shepard glanced in the mirror; her eyes were red and puffy from crying. She made a sound of disgust in her throat before peeling the bandages off her shoulder. The wound was closed, as she expected, but it was still tender and raw. Shepard turned on the shower, dreading the less than scalding hot water she would have to settle for at least for another day or two until her shoulder finished healing.

She stuck her hand under the stream, testing the temperature before stepping inside. Shepard did her best to push thoughts of Thane and Jane's plight from her mind as she washed away the day's residue of sweat and blood. She could hear Garrus moving around in her quarters when she turned the water off again. She gently patted the area around her wound with a fresh towel before drying the rest of herself off.

After running a brush through her hair and getting dressed, Shepard opened the bathroom door and padded across the floor barefoot to where Garrus sat on the couch. He looked up at her as she approached, the tension easing out of his face when he saw her smile. She sat down next to him and he pushed a plate with a slice of chocolate cake on it in front of her.

"So, who else are we picking up for this run?" Garrus asked.

"Just Tali, I think. If she still decides to come with us. I think she might drag Kal along with her, though. Who knows? Lia and Grundan Krul were both a surprise," Shepard said.

"I'm glad you agreed to bring Grundan Krul with us," Garrus said.

"Why's that? I mean, obviously he's a friend of yours but I doubt that's the only reason," Shepard said.

"He doesn't have anything else. He needed this, to give him purpose," Garrus said.

"What happened to him? How'd he end up with you really?" Shepard asked.

Garrus shook his head and said, "It's not my story to tell, Shepard."

"Fair enough," Shepard said.

"He likes you. Maybe he'll decide to tell you himself someday," Garrus said.

"How can you tell? He doesn't say much and I'm pretty sure he's made it his personal goal to avoid making facial expressions around me as much as possible," Shepard said.

Garrus chuckled and said, "The same way I know far more about you and everyone else on this crew than I want to know half the time. I can smell it on him, his approval. I can hear it in the tone of his voice. His expressions are there, you just have to really look for them."

"What about the others? Do you wish any of the others had come?" Shepard asked.

"I still keep in touch with them but no, they aren't cut out for life on a ship and honestly I think it was time they moved on. They got what they needed working with 'Archangel' and were ready for something else in life," Garrus said.

"So, I'm curious… did you ever meet Sidonis?" Shepard asked.

"I did," Garrus said.

"Well? How'd that go?" Shepard asked.

"I shot him," Garrus said.

Shepard paused with her fork halfway to her mouth and asked, "What happened?"

"I saw a turian being beaten half to death by a krogan. Part of the Blood Pack. I fired at the krogan drawing his attention and giving the turian a chance to collect himself. Once he was back on his feet he helped me take the krogan down," Garrus said glancing at her. "When he introduced himself as Lantar Sidonis I shot him in the face."

 _"_ _Gods…,"_ Jane said.

Shepard stopped chewing, her eyes blinked rapidly before she recovered. She picked up the glass of water Garrus brought with him and washed the cake in her mouth down her throat. She carefully set the glass back on the table.

"You just shot him? I mean, he hadn't even done anything yet?" Shepard said.

Garrus' mandibles pulled in tight against his face. It seemed like they spent a lot of time there these days, Shepard thought.

"I just shot him," Garrus said simply.

"Damn," Shepard said.

"It didn't matter that he hadn't done it yet, Shepard. I knew what he would do given the chance. Sure, I could have just walked away and never spoken to him again but that wouldn't have been a guarantee," Garrus said. "The only guarantee was to kill him. It took two seconds to realize that and one more to pull the trigger. I wasn't… I wasn't in a good place, Shepard. I'd just been through hell getting your body back from the Shadow Broker's thugs and turning you over to Cerberus. I wasn't really feeling much like showing mercy to someone I knew would betray me given half a chance."

 _"_ _He was forced into the betrayal. You told Garrus that,"_ Jane said.

"I know," Shepard thought. "It doesn't matter now. Hearing it again won't bring Sidonis back to life, and it isn't going to make Garrus feel any differently."

"OK. I get it," Shepard said.

"You do?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah. I mean, I might have done the same considering the circumstances," Shepard said.

"No, you wouldn't have," Garrus said quietly.

Shepard let it drop and they finished eating in silence. Garrus left to take their dishes back down to the mess while she brushed her teeth. When he returned she was sitting on the edge of her bed starring off into space lost in thought. She smiled when he walked over and sat down next to her, running a hand along her spine.

"You're sure you're OK?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah, I'm just tired," Shepard said.

Garrus reached over and pulled the covers back. Shepard stood up and got undressed, folding the tank top and pajama bottoms and setting them on the bedside table before crawling under the blankets.

"Do you want me to stay?" he asked.

"Please," she said.

Garrus stripped out of his armor and clothes before sliding in next to her. At Shepard's request, EDI turned the lights in the cabin off leaving nothing but the soft glow from the newly emptied fish tank to light the room. Within minutes Shepard was asleep in Garrus' arms.

The next morning Shepard dressed and made her way down to the mess hall to grab a cup of coffee on her way to see Samara. She moved around the counter in the mess hall to get a mug and poured herself a cup from the pot behind the counter. She raised the mug to her lips and took a sip.

"Ugh, this is crap," Shepard muttered.

"Really? I thought it was pretty good," Kasumi said dropping her Tactical Cloak next to Shepard.

Shepard handed the mug to Kasumi and said, "Damn it, Kasumi. One of these days you're going to do that and end up with a face full of hot coffee."

Kasumi giggled and took the mug from Shepard bringing it to her lips.

"Nah, I can usually tell when someone is that on edge. Besides, how else am I supposed to keep up my skills on this ship?" Kasumi asked.

"Point. Hmmmm, oh I know! You should practice by stealing things from Joker. I task you with bringing me his hat, from his head, and not getting caught in the process," Shepard said.

 _"_ _That's going to go over well,"_ Jane said, her voice heavy with sarcasm.

"He's a big boy, he can take it," Shepard thought.

"Really?! Oh, Shepard, you really know how to make a girl's day," Kasumi said taking a sip from the mug. "Challenge accepted."

Kasumi set down the mug and disappeared from sight. Shepard chuckled and shook her head. She turned to leave and almost walked into Grundan Krul.

"Oh!" Shepard said pulling herself up short before she smashed into the batarian and the cup of coffee he held in his hand.

"Morning," Shepard said.

"Good morning," Grundan Krul said.

He handed her the mug and Shepard grinned. She brought it up to her nose to inhale the rich scent before taking a sip.

"Mmmm. You're the best. Have you tasted that crap over there?" Shepard asked.

"No, I prefer to make my own," he said.

"Wise man," Shepard said patting him on the shoulder as she moved past. "Good man. I've got to go talk to Samara. Thanks for the coffee. You're a life saver."

A small smile flickered across his face, tugging at the corners of his eyes. Shepard rewarded him with a smile of her own and a wink before she turned away, bringing the mug back to her lips. Shepard tapped on the metal door of the starboard observation before hitting the door's release. Samara was sitting with her legs folded in the middle of the floor. Biotic energy swirled around the Justicar and formed a floating orb between her palms as she lost herself in her meditation.

Shepard waited to the side sipping her coffee until the energy faded and Samara turned her head to look at Shepard. She smiled at the Justicar and moved to sit on the floor beside her. Shepard looked out at the stars, something she once found calming and relaxing but in the moment pulled at her heart with a deep and profound sadness. Shepard liked sitting with Samara, she was one of the few people who accepted silence without feeling a need to fill it with empty words. Still, she had come to talk so once her mug was empty Shepard turned her attention back to the Justicar.

"Sorry I didn't make it by last night," Shepard said.

"There is no need to apologize. Garrus informed me you were not feeling well," Samara said. "I hope you are well today."

"Mmmm. I'm not sick or anything. I was just having… an emotional moment, I guess. I was having a bit of trouble pulling it together, but I'm fine now. A new day, a new perspective," Shepard said.

"That is good to hear, Shepard," Samara said.

"How about you, Samara? How are you?" Shepard asked.

"I am well. I find this room quite pleasing now that we have left the docks of Illium," Samara said.

"It does have quite the view. I use to love looking out at the stars. I'd spend hours in the cockpit with Joker just so I could stare out the windows," Shepard said.

"You have lost your admiration for the stars?" Samara asked.

"They just make me feel a little sad now," Shepard said. "Hey, can I ask you something? About asari culture?"

"If you desire; I will share with you what I can," Samara said.

Shepard shifted on the floor, pulling her knees up to her chest and crossing her ankles. She draped her arms across her knees and watched Samara.

"Do the asari believe in reincarnation?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _Dawn, let it go. This isn't the answer,"_ Jane said.

"We are a diverse culture with varying beliefs. It is common for asari to follow a path called Siari. It means 'all is one'. It is believed that we exist as mortal vessels filled with an eternal, spiritual energy," Samara said. "When we die, our spiritual energy returns to the universal consciousness until it is needed to fill a new vessel. I do not know if this matches the human concepts of reincarnation."

"Does your energy… stay separate? Do you… stay you?" Shepard asked.

Samara turned her head to study Shepard before she spoke again.

"No more than once a drop of rain has joined with a pond can it be removed and remain the same drop," Samara said.

"Oh," Shepard said with a sigh.

She turned to look back out at the stars and rested her chin on her arms. Samara let her sit like that in silence for several long minutes before speaking again.

"Forgive me if it is not my place to say, but you seem troubled by this, Shepard," Samara said.

Shepard chuckled lightly and looked back at the Justicar.

"I'll be alright. I think I'm just having a bit of an existential crisis," Shepard said. "I keep thinking that I'll find someone who has the answers for me."

"If I may, what do the humans believe about reincarnation?" Samara asked.

"There are too many different human views to count, and they seem to change all the time," Shepard mused. "Some have believed that we have an eternal soul, a unique entity that lives through many lives. Some people claim to be able to remember these past lives. Being different people at different points in history. Others talk about moving through different species of animals as well as humans. Some think that the experiences we have in this life are either a reward or a punishment for the things we did in a past life."

"These are not the answers that you seek?" Samara asked.

"Not exactly," Shepard said. "What about you, what do you believe?"

"I believe in the Code. That is all I need," Samara said.

"The Code doesn't talk about what happens when you die?" Shepard asked.

"It does not exist to bring about spiritual enlightenment. The Code guides me in the ways of the Justicar in this life, defending what is just and bringing to a swift end what is not. What happens after death is not relevant because it is neither just nor unjust, and neither can it be brought to justice by the Code," Samara said.

Shepard started to ask the Justicar why then would she tell the merc she killed on Illium to find peace in the embrace of the goddess but reconsidered. She didn't want to risk challenging Samara's beliefs, or force the woman to examine her own beliefs any more closely than she was comfortable with. Perhaps the words were nothing more than a phrase, carried over from the life she left behind when she swore her oaths. Shepard looked back out of the observation window and the two women sat in contended silence.

After some time, Shepard begrudgingly rose to her feet and collected her empty mug. Samara looked up at her with a peaceful smile.

"If you need anything, or have any questions feel free to come find me. Or you can just ask EDI to let me know you'd like to talk," Shepard said.

"Thank you, Shepard. It is nice to have the opportunity to speak with a colleague after spending much of the last four-hundred years alone. I am pleased to find one who is also as comfortable with the silence as I," Samara said. "If you find that the stars become comforting once more, I welcome you to sit and watch them with me."

Shepard smiled and said, "I may take you up on that, thank you."

Samara nodded and Shepard left the starboard observation. She hesitated outside of the door to life support before moving on to the mess and finding Grundan Krul and his wonderful coffee absent, handed the empty mug over to Gardner. She headed back to the elevator and took it up to the CIC to visit the tech labs.

Kelley stopped her on her way past and presented her with a datapad cataloging the different species of snakes that Shepard could order to have delivered to the Citadel. Shepard looked at the datapad while she walked, using her finger to flip through the screens. She glanced up long enough to see that the doors were sliding open before before turning her attention back to the catalog as she walked in to the labs. Halfway into the room, Shepard looked up to see where Mordin was and dropped the datapad in surprise. Mordin wasn't alone; Thane was standing in front of Mordin, his torso bare as Mordin scanned his chest and performed an examination.

"Crap!" Shepard said as the datapad clattered to the floor.

She stooped to pick the datapad up and turned it over in her hands to see it wasn't broken. She glanced back at the two men and heat flushed her face. She averted her eyes, scolding herself for doing so. If it were one of the others she wouldn't bother but it just wasn't possible for her to look at Thane's bare chest objectively. Not when the sight brought a flood of intimate memories to her consciousness.

"Ah, sorry. I'll, uh, I'll come back," Shepard said turning back to the door.

"No need. Finished here," Mordin said.

"Right, uh," Shepard said as she turned back around.

She tried to focus on Mordin but her eyes kept sliding of their own accord to Thane's bare chest as he casually – and she was pretty sure far more slowly than strictly necessary – began to put his vest back on.

"Shepard?" Mordin said.

"What?" Shepard said dragging her eyes back to him.

"Need to show me something?" Mordin said pointing at the datapad.

"Huh? Oh, um, no. This is just a catalog... Uh," Shepard said before clearing her throat and moving to stand at the edge of Mordin's table. "Is everything alright? He OK for duty?"

"Yes. Exercise good for Kepral's Syndrome. Helps circulate oxygen. Wanted baseline to monitor progression of disease, required scan and examination of the chest to see if expanding properly with inhalation," Mordin said.

"Oh, good," Shepard said her eyes moving back to Thane.

"He's very persistent," Thane said, pushing his arm through the sleeve of his jacket.

"He is, he's also not nearly as harmless as he looks," Shepard said.

She lifted her yes to Thane's face and found him watching her watch him. Thane tugged at the jacket before sliding his hands down the leather and bringing them to rest behind his back. A slight smile lifted the corners of his mouth. Indecent thoughts flooded Shepard's mind.

"Jane, for the love of gods, get yourself under control," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I'm trying. It's not just me in here, you know,"_ Jane said.

"I will keep that in mind," Thane said.

Shepard laid the datapad down on the table and turned her attention to Mordin.

"I just wanted to come by to talk about our conversation yesterday, but we can continue that later. I'll have you set up in a room to watch those videos on the Citadel if you still want to see them. I'd rather not have them played on the ship," Shepard said.

"Understandable, nature of videos sensitive. Will be happy to watch on Citadel," Mordin said reaching over and picking up Shepard's datapad.

"Shopping for snakes?" Mordin asked.

"Yeah… Fish don't tend to last very long around me and I'm tired of looking at an empty aquarium. Snakes are a little bit harder to kill, they don't need to eat as frequently," Shepard said.

Mordin began flipping through the catalog listing off the scientific names for each species. Shepard looked back at Thane to see he was still watching her.

"So, do you have anything yet on the collector?" Shepard asked turning back to Mordin.

Mordin continued to list off the species as he moved to the desk behind the table. A moment later he returned, walking around the table to stand next to Shepard. He sat the datapad down and reached into the pocket of his lab coat. Realization suddenly hit Shepard and she started to back away from the salarian.

"Mordin… no," Shepard said.

Mordin pulled a syringe from his pocket and pulled the cap off. Shepard maneuvered around to the short side of the lab table.

 _"_ _No, no, no. No don't let him do it. He'll cut us open again,"_ Jane said; her panic seeping into Shepard's system.

"Mordin… put it away. This is not acceptable. I didn't even ask if it could get out of the tank!" Shepard screeched. "Gods damn it, Mordin! I will knock your ass out if I have to."

"Last warning. Next time will not see it coming," Mordin said putting the cap back on the syringe and sliding it into his pocket.

"I hate you," Shepard said.

"Both know that's not true," Mordin said.

"Yeah, well, still makes me feel better to say it sometimes," Shepard said crossing her arms.

Mordin resumed looking through the catalog, humming contently to himself. Shepard's flickered to Thane who had calmly watched the encounter without comment.

"You could have helped," Shepard muttered.

"You were not in danger," Thane said.

"He was going to tranquilize me," Shepard said.

"He was taunting you, and you proved it effective," Thane said.

"Already knew effectiveness. Far more predictable than she realizes," Mordin said handing the datapad back to Shepard. "This one. Native to Tuchanka. Will survive even you."

"Only because the last time you did that you cut open my skull," Shepard grumbled taking the datapad.

"Was necessary. Should look at incision site," Mordin said.

Shepard frowned and pulled her hair up with one hand, letting Mordin examine the scar while she looked over the fact sheet on the snake. Jane shifted around restlessly, not wanting Mordin behind Shepard after he just threatened to tranquilize her. The datapad showed an image of a burnt sienna toned snake with a wide, thick head. The snake was covered from head to tail in what looked like spikes. The catalog said it was called a thorned serpent and indeed was native to Tuchanka. Although not venomous, the thorned serpent apparently had stronger jaws than most other snakes and was able to easily crush the skulls of its pray or snap its neck when it struck, depending on what it was attacking. The thorns were formed from flexible cartilage and served both to aid in the regulation of body temperature and to deter potential predators.

Shepard scrolled down the page; apparently it wasn't a picky eater. It preferred live prey but would just as easily accept pre-killed prey and could even survive several months without eating if necessary by placing itself into a state similar to the brumation that snakes from Earth were prone to enter in the colder months. It was able to store extra fat and water in its tail, allowing it to go without water for a prolonged period of time when strictly necessary as well. As with all things that lived on Tuchanka, it was well equipped to survive in harsh living conditions.

"Healed nicely. Any pain?" Mordin asked.

"No, it's fine. Still itches a little with the hair growing back," Shepard said.

"May I?" Thane asked.

Shepard looked up to see him gesturing at the datapad and passed it over to him.

"Seriously, Mordin. Tell me you are at least making progress and that having this thing on my ship is giving you the chance to come up with something better than a simple cloaking vaccine," Shepard said.

Shepard let her hair drop as Mordin moved away and back around to the other side of the table.

"Cloaking vaccine? Interesting idea. Swarms able to detect human presence through the release of chemical compounds and electromagnetic field unique to humans," Mordin said.

Shepard cut him off before he went too far down that road and said, "Yes, it's what you've done before but it's not effective against larger swarms. We need something better this time, Mordin."

Mordin stared at Shepard before looking at the drell standing next to her.

"What?" Shepard asked following his gaze to Thane.

"Oh, right. He knows a little. Enough to think that I'm as crazy as you do," Shepard said.

"Don't think you're crazy, Shepard. Told you, wouldn't be a good scientist if not skeptical. Require evidence," Mordin said.

Shepard gave him a half smile and said, "Yeah. Thanks Mordin. Anyway, we need something better, OK? Something that can stand up to us being surrounded completely and it needs to cover all of us, not just humans. Once we cross through that Omega 4 relay, they're not going to care who is human and who isn't."

"Yes. Making progress. Will have it ready when time," Mordin said.

 _"_ _Why is he being so secretive? I don't like this,"_ Jane said.

Shepard sighed and said, "Alright. I don't know why you don't just tell me but whatever. I don't care. So long as you get the job done. I'll leave you to it."

Shepard started towards the door and paused, turning around she held her hand out for the datapad Thane still held. He handed it to her and as she started walking again he fell in step beside her. Shepard glanced at him but he kept his gaze ahead. Shepard stopped at the galaxy map to check the ETA. They were still nearly 12 hours out from the Citadel so she had plenty of time to catch up with things on the ship.

Shepard turned around and saw Thane standing behind her, his hands tucked behind his back as he watched her with patience. Shepard stepped down away from the map and got Kelly's attention. She showed Kelly the datapad and gave her the greenlight to order the thorned serpent and anything that she would need to care for it and have it delivered to the Citadel. Kelly assured Shepard that if she planned to be on the Citadel for a few hours the store received regular shipments and could have it ready for her before they left the Citadel again.

Thane was still standing there watching her when she turned back around.

"Did you need something?" Shepard asked taking a couple of steps towards him.

"I would like to continue our conversation. I can wait until you are ready," Thane said.

"And by wait… you mean follow me around the ship until I give you answers," Shepard said.

"Indeed," Thane said.

"And if you don't like the answers?" Shepard asked.

"I have not decided," Thane said.

"Alright, let's get this over with," Shepard said gesturing to the elevator.

Thane stepped aside while Shepard called the elevator up and then followed her inside. When they arrived at life support, he gestured for her to enter first. Shepard made her way inside and leaned her back against the observation window. Thane came to a stop three feet away from her and waited patiently while she collected her thoughts.

"I'm not sure how to start. I've told some of the others but with you it's different," Shepard said.

"In what way?" Thane asked.

"Well, to start, you haven't spent time around me. You haven't… seen the things I've let the others see. I complicated things by approaching you on the Citadel… and I think that you might be the easiest to convince, yet also the most dangerous to try to convince," Shepard said.

"Convince of what, exactly? That you believe yourself to be reincarnated somehow and that is why you know things that you ought not to know?" Thane asked.

"Yes," Shepard said shrugging her shoulders.

"You've convinced others of this?" Thane asked.

"I have," Shepard said.

"Yet Mordin is unconvinced," Thane said.

"I just gave him the details yesterday," Shepard said.

"Why do you believe I would be easier to convince?" Thane asked.

"Two reasons. You're a drell with that unique ability to recall everything in detail, and you've gone to great lengths to keep your life secret," Shepard said.

"I see," Thane said.

"So… how do you want it? Long and drawn out or the quick kill?" Shepard asked.

Thane raised his brow.

"Right, of course. Assassin. Quick kill it is. Alright, I'll take this leap of faith if you'll agree to one thing before I begin?" Shepard said.

"I'm listening," Thane said.

"If you feel you must kill me, let me finish first," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Gods. Why don't you just give him permission?!"_ Jane asked.

"Very well," Thane said.

"You're not going to like this," Shepard said.

"I will manage," Thane said.

"Alright, first the story, then the proof," Shepard said. "From the day I first set foot on the Normandy – the one that the collectors destroyed – in 2183 until the day I die on the Citadel fighting the reapers in 2186, I have lived through this all before," Shepard said. "The first was a woman named Jane Shepard, she lived through it all and died in 2186 only to wake up in someone else's body back in 2183. That Shepard lived through it all and died in 2186 only to wake up with the first in a third Shepard's body back in 2183. It just keeps happening, countless times. I don't know why. They don't know why. I am the first to become aware of the others. I'm doing what I can to change events in the hopes that I will be the last."

Shepard watched as Thane blinked his inner lids. She could see the exasperation in his eyes.

"And your proof?" Thane finally asked, humoring her.

 _"_ _Don't do this, Dawn. Not like this,"_ Jane said.

"Laser dot trembles on the skull. One finger twitch, he dies. Then the smell of spice on the spring wind," Shepard said.

Thane's lips formed a tight line as he held up a hand and said, "Enough."

"Sunset colored eyes, defiant in the scope. The laser dances away," Shepard said.

Thane slammed his fist into the observation window next to Shepard's head and with a raised voice said, "Enough!"

Shepard closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening her eyes again. His face was so close to hers and his eyes looked so full of pain and rage. She wasn't done yet, she needed him to believe. Irrevocably believe.

 _"_ _No, that's enough. You made your point and by some miracle you're still alive. Leave it alone!"_ Jane said.

"Her name was Irikah. She was your wife, and the mother of your son, Kolyat. She was killed by men seeking to hurt you. You found them and you killed them, letting them linger in their suffering. No quick kill…," Shepard let her words trail off when Thane's other hand moved to her throat, finger tips and thumb resting just below her jaw bones.

Shepard could feel her heart slamming into her chest and knew that he could feel it, too. This was far more dangerous than even following him on the Citadel. A huge gambit that might very well cost her life. He might even be able to kill her and escape in a shuttle or an emergency evac pod before anyone even found her body. Thane's eyes bore into hers. It hurt her to see the raw emotions behind the blackened haze that covered the drell's eyes but for the first time she felt afraid of what he might do. She knew she wouldn't stand a chance in hand to hand combat with the assassin, but she could stay alive long enough to call for backup. Probably not long enough for that backup to arrive.

 _"_ _Oh gods, just be still. Shut up and stay still,"_ Jane said.

Shepard closed her eyes and whispered, "I'm sorry."

Thane's hand slid away from her throat and she opened her eyes again. He retreated from Shepard and moved to stand behind the table across from her.

"You should go. You are not safe here with me in this moment. I apologize. You have given me much to consider," Thane said.

Shepard pushed away from the window and walked out of Thane's room forcing herself to not look back. She took the elevator up to her cabin and settled in at her desk. Leaning her elbows forward, she pushed her hair back and rested her forehead on her hands. She took a few deep breaths and then opened her laptop.

Shepard skimmed through her messages. More reminders from Cerberus of things they wanted her to look into. A message from Tali saying that her father had been exiled. A message from James saying that the vast majority of the civilian survivors had decided to leave Fehl Prime. The message she had missed from Mordin telling her that his tests indicate that the collectors were a genetic mutation of the protheans. Several messages from people she had helped in the past thanking her for her help. Shepard stopped when she saw the name Tela Vasir.

Shepard: My name is Tela Vasir. I'm a Spectre covertly stationed on Illium. I heard that you were just here. It is a shame I missed you. If you plan to return soon, let me know, I could use your help on something.

 _"_ _That's got to be a trap,"_ Jane said.

"EDI, could you ask Garrus and Grundan Krul to come to my cabin, please?" Shepard said.

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said.

A moment later she said, "They are on their way."

"Thanks, EDI," Shepard said.

Shepard sat back in the chair and ran a finger back and forth across her lip as she stared at the message on her screen. A few minutes later her cabin door opened and she looked up to see Garrus enter with Grundan Krul behind him. Garrus zeroed in on Shepard's location and moved towards the desk. There was a hitch in his step and he took a sniff of the air. Shepard knew he was picking out Thane's lingering scent on her but he didn't seem to be concerned as he stopped in front of her.

"What's up?" Garrus asked.

Grundan Krul stood next to Garrus as Shepard pointed at her computer screen. Garrus read the message over her shoulder.

"OK? What am I missing?" Garrus asked.

"She's an agent of the Shadow Broker," Shepard said.

Grundan Krul moved a little closer to see the computer screen.

"You're sure?" Garrus asked.

"Positive. There's one other that might be on Illium that I know of, another asari named Nyxeris," Shepard said.

"He's still after you, then," Garrus said.

"That would seem to be the likely explanation," Shepard said.

"I'll see what I can find out," Grundan Krul said opening his omni-tool and running his fingers over screen.

"Garrus, when you were working to get me back from them, were you working alone?" Shepard asked.

"There wasn't anyone else I could trust, aside from the Normandy crew and I didn't want to involve any of them in that," Garrus said.

"Grundan Krul, see what you can find me on a drell named Feron as well. I don't have a last name but he has associations with the Broker as well and could be a potential ally," Shepard said.

"What about Barla Von, the volus on the Citadel?" Garrus asked.

"I doubt he has any information on this but I suppose we could look into him, too," Shepard said.

"What are you thinking?" Garrus asked.

"I'm thinking we're going to go pay the Shadow Broker a visit. It's time he's been replaced," Shepard said.

 _"_ _This won't work without Liara,"_ Jane said.

"You know where the Shadow Broker is?" Grundan Krul asked.

"I do," Shepard said spinning her chair around to look up at the batarian with a grin.

"Do you have someone in mind?" Garrus asked.

"Maybe, we'll have to see if we can find Feron and where he stands," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Feron? He helped Liara but she ran the show, you know that. He can't handle it on his own. You don't even know if you can trust him without Liara being a part of this,"_ Jane said.

"We won't know unless we find him," Shepard thought.

"You want to use an agent to replace the Broker?" Garrus asked.

"He's a distinct possibility," Shepard said.

"What is it with you and drell?" Garrus asked.

"Hush," Shepard said.

Shepard spent three hours replying to messages and talking back and forth with a distraught Tali once Garrus and Grundan Krul left her cabin. Tali was devastated by her father's actions, but more devastated that he had been exiled. She didn't know where he was going to, or how he would manage with the meager supplies and pathetic excuse for a ship that Admiralty Board had allowed him. Shepard offered to help Tali's father, take him somewhere or bring him more supplies but her father had adamantly refused insisting that this was his responsibility and his consequences to accept.

The Admiralty Board had given Rael'Zorah one day to gather his belongings and say goodbye to his friends and daughter. Tali wanted to leave the Migrant Fleet, at least for a while when her father was sent away but Rael made her promise that she would stay until things settled down. He told her that the quarians needed to see her standing with the Migrant Fleet and aiding them in whatever way they demanded of her. They needed to live by her side and come to accept her again so that she was not forever branded with his disgrace. Shepard wondered if Tali agreed to stay because she saw the truth in what her father said, or if she stayed because she was trying to make up for being the one to report him. She told Tali that no matter what, Shepard had her back and would do whatever she could to help her all she had to do was ask.

Shepard had finally convinced Tali that everything would be alright and to enjoy her last day with her father knowing that he was alive and she would see him again someday. She closed her laptop lid and stood up from the desk. Shepard stretched her arms out over her head before rolling her neck. She hated sitting still for so long, she needed to move around and do something else for a while and her stomach was growling.

Shepard made her way down to the mess hall and found that for once she was thinking about food the same time as everyone else was. Only then did it occur to her that her breakfast had consisted solely of coffee. She reasoned that after eating a slice of cake before bed the night before, it was justified to skip one meal. No sooner than Shepard sat down at one of the tables did she feel something being slid down on her head. She pulled the hat off of her head and looked it over with a satisfied grin as Kasumi sat down next to her.

"Good work, I think you deserve a raise," Shepard said putting Joker's hat back on her head.

"Shep, you don't pay us anything," Kasumi said.

"I said you _deserve_ a raise. I didn't say I was giving you one," Shepard said. "So, did he lose his shit?"

"I don't know," Kasumi said with a shrug. "He hadn't even noticed yet by the time I was out of the cockpit."

"I bet he's pissed," Shepard said with a chuckle.

"I can't believe EDI didn't say anything," Kasumi said.

"That is because I was aware of the parameters of the task Shepard gave you. I was also curious to see how he would respond," EDI said.

"And what did you learn, EDI?" Shepard asked.

"It took Mr. Moreau thirteen minutes and twenty-two seconds to realize his hat was missing. He spent four minutes and twelve seconds looking for it in the cockpit and another thirty-two seconds trying to convince me to tell him where his hat was," EDI said. "When I failed to supply him with the information he requested, he muted my access node for twenty minutes before concluding that he must have left it in the restroom. When he failed to find it in the restroom, he spent another two minutes looking over the cockpit again. He finally came to the partially correct conclusion that you had taken his hat."

"I'm almost insulted. He does know who I am, doesn't he?" Kasumi asked.

"Mr. Moreau knows who everyone is aboard the Normandy," EDI said.

Shepard laughed and asked, "What's he doing now, EDI?"

"I believe you have referred to this particular display of body language as 'pouting'," EDI said.

"Aww," Kasumi said. "Maybe we should give it back?"

"Gods Kasumi, what kind of thief are you?" Shepard teased.

"Uh!" Kasumi said.

"I'm kidding. I'll give it back to him when I'm done eating," Shepard said.

"Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find out what Miranda hides in her underwear draw," Kasumi said activating her Tactical Cloak.

"If you get caught, you're fired," Shepard said.

"Shep, come on. I don't get caught," Kasumi said.

Grunt walked over to Shepard's table and let his overflowing tray drop down on the metal surface across from her. Shepard glanced up when she was splattered with stew.

"Grunt? Everything OK?" Shepard asked.

Grunt looked at one of the Cerberus crew sitting at the other end of the table and the man hurried away, abandoning his half eaten meal. Grunt sat down and stared at Shepard.

"Why are we going to the Citadel? Zaeed said you're not taking us there to fight anything," Grunt said. "I want to go someplace where there's people to kill, Shepard."

 _"_ _He needs to go to Tuchanka soon,"_ Jane said.

"It's starting to get to you, isn't?" Shepard asked.

"What is?" Grunt asked.

"Feeling more irritable? Like you want to rip things apart even more so than usual?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah," Grunt said after a thoughtful moment. "Is that bad?"

"No, it's normal for krogan when they reach a certain age. Well, age isn't the best word in your case, but you know, physical maturity level. It just means that it's time we take you to Tuchanka," Shepard said.

"Tuchanka. Okeer's teachings were full of pride over the krogan home world but he didn't teach me about this. What does this have to do with Tuchanka?" Grunt asked.

"Krogan go through certain rites at different points in their lives. Urdnot Wrex, he traveled with me, helped me to fight the geth heretics and Saren, he can tell you everything you need to know and you can undertake the Rite of Passage," Shepard said.

"Will I get to kill something on Tuchanka?" Grunt asked.

"You will," Shepard promised.

"Then what are we waiting for?" Grunt asked.

"There are a lot of things that we need to do, Grunt, but we'll go there as soon as we can. I promise," Shepard said.

"I don't want your promises, Shepard. Just get me there," Grunt said.

"I will, Grunt," Shepard said.

Shepard finished her lunch and took her tray back to Gardner before heading up to the cockpit. She plopped down in the co-pilot's chair and chuckled when Joker reached across to swipe the hat from her head.

"Now it's going to smell like you," Joker said.

"I smelled that thing. There's no way it's ever going to smell like anything other than your funk. I'm going to have to wash my hair twice before Garrus will want to come near me again," Shepard said.

Joker sniffed at the hat and shrugged before pulling it down over his head.

"Serves you right. Kasumi?" Joker asked.

"Maybe," Shepard said.

"How'd you convince EDI to keep quiet?" Joker asked.

"Didn't have to," Shepard said. "She was happy to watch you scrambling around looking for it."

"Of course she was. I swear if it weren't for all those damn blocks, EDI would suck all the air out of the cockpit just to watch me suffocate," Joker said.

"I would not do something to bring you harm, Mr. Moreau," EDI said.

"Yeah… so you'd do it just long enough to make me pass out before turning the air back on," Joker said.

"Joker… you can trust EDI," Shepard said.

"Thank you, Shepard," EDI said.

"Ha!" Joker said.

"Joker," Shepard said and waited for him to look at her before continuing. "Trust EDI."

Joker raised an eyebrow and Shepard raised both of hers in response.

"Alright. If you say so," Joker said.

"I do," Shepard said. "You should consider getting off the ship for a little bit when we get to the Citadel. Even if it's just to walk around the dock."

"This again? Really?" Joker asked.

"Yep," Shepard said with an emphatic pop.

"You know you're not my mother, right? And last I checked you're not a doctor… so unless you're making that an order…," Joker said.

"Not an order, Joker. Just a request," Shepard said.

"Fine, I'll think about it," Joker said.

Shepard got up to leave and patted Joker on the shoulder. She was halfway out of the cockpit when Joker spoke to her again.

"Hey, Commander… you're not really still upset about that elevator thing, right?" Joker asked.

Shepard chuckled and said, "Nah, I was over that ten minutes after it happened."

"Oh," Joker said.

Shepard moved back to stand next to the co-pilot's chair where she could look at him easier.

"Why? Did you think I was mad?" Shepard asked.

"Well, you just don't come up here to sit the way you use to," Joker said.

"Ah… well, that's not about you," Shepard said rubbing her neck.

"Then what's it about?" Joker asked.

Shepard said, "It's uh… this is going to sound stupid."

"Since when has that stopped you?" Joker asked.

"Alright you ass. It's uh, well, the stars make me feel something… different now," Shepard said.

 _"_ _The remind us that we lost to those stars,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah… loss. I feel loss. I don't like it," Shepard said.

Joker turned his head and looked at Shepard with a blank face before he reached over and pushed a button on his console. The observation shutters closed, blocking out the view of the stars. A light smile crossed Shepard's mouth as she wordlessly sank back down into the co-pilot's chair.

"That about Lira and Ashley?" Joker asked. "Because if you want to… talk about it… or whatever it is I'm supposed to say here."

"It is. Dr. Tulina, too. And I don't," Shepard said.

"Thank God," Joker said. "I mean, you know what I mean. I'm just not good at that kind of thing."

Shepard snorted and said, "Yeah. Thanks for being willing, though."

"Yeah," Joker said.

 _"_ _They're all so different with you,"_ Jane said.

Shepard let herself relax back in the chair and sat in silence, watching Joker work his magic with the ship's controls. Shepard lost track of time, sitting there until her muscles started to remind her that she had already spent too long sitting around before standing up and stretching. She put her hand down on Joker's shoulder before shifting forward to wrap her arms around his shoulders in something resembling a hug. She gave him a gentle squeeze and let go. He turned his head to look up at her with a furrowed brow.

"God you're weird sometimes," he said.

"Accepting affection from time to time won't hurt you, Joker," Shepard said.

"Clearly you've never heard of sexually transmitted disease," Joker said.

Shepard snorted and said, "Really though, Joker. You're important to me and I care about you. And you care about me, too. Even if you won't say it."

"Yeah, well… don't go spreading that around the ship. I've got a reputation to uphold," Joker said. "Can't have people coming in here trying to make nice thinking I give a damn."

"Your secret's safe with me," Shepard said.

Shepard left the cockpit and made her way to the elevator where she hesitated before punching in the third deck as her destination. When she stepped off the elevator she knocked gently on the door to life support before entering. Thane stood with his hands behind his back staring out of the observation window. His head turned toward the sound when she walked in but he didn't turn around. Shepard came to a stop a few feet from the door.

"We'll be arriving at the Citadel in a few hours and there is something that I need to talk to you about before we get there," Shepard said.

 _"_ _He may not be ready to hear anymore,"_ Jane warned.

Thane turned around and gestured to the chair next to him. Shepard walked into the room to take the offered seat while he moved around the table to stand behind the other chair. He waited for her to sit down before seating himself across from her.

"Are you… are you going to be able to listen to what I have to say?" Shepard asked.

"I must apologize for my earlier actions, Shepard. I was not prepared to hear those words from your mouth. You needn't fear speaking with me, it won't happen again," Thane said.

Shepard crossed her arms and sat back in the chair.

"I don't fear speaking with you. No more than anyone else. I know how dangerous you are, Thane but so is just about every other person on this ship in their own right," Shepard said. "I wouldn't have recruited them otherwise."

"You have dropped the pretense of formality. Shall I call you Dawn?" Thane asked.

Shepard's eyebrows crept up and she shook her head slowly.

"I can call you Krios if you prefer, but the use of my first name is generally reserved for family and intimate partners. Even then, Garrus uses it only when we're alone," Shepard said and shrugged. "It comes with the territory of being in the Alliance."

"Either is acceptable, I do not have a preference," Thane said. "This is not an Alliance vessel."

"No, it most certainly is not. And I'm not currently acting within bounds of Alliance jurisdiction, but they didn't technically strip me of my rank. Yet. Even if they did, though, it would still be inextricably who I am," Shepard said.

"I see. What did you wish to speak with me about?" Thane asked.

 _"_ _Choose your words carefully,"_ Jane warned.

Shepard leaned forward and said, "It's about Kolyat."

Thane clasped his hands and rested them on the table before he said, "I'm listening."

"I thought that maybe, even if you weren't ready to believe me about… everything, this would still be something you'd want to know. I'd want to know," Shepard said. "In the past… well, I guess it's really the present… the other times – in the other times you would ask for me to help you with Kolyat. You said that he'd become 'disconnected'."

Thane moved slowly, Shepard thought so as to not startle her, bringing his hands up to rest in front of his mouth. His inner eyelid blinked a few times but he remained quiet so she continued.

"You left a package for him with volus bankers. He wasn't supposed to get it until you were dead but he somehow got it early. He decided to take a contract to kill a man. A turian politician on the Citadel," Shepard said. "I don't know if he's gotten that package yet, you might be able to keep that from happening. I don't know, I thought you might want to look into it while we're on the Citadel."

Thane remained silent and still watching Shepard closely. She grew uncomfortable under his scrutiny and stood.

"Well, believe me or not, I tried," Shepard said heading for the door.

"You lack the… finesse of an assassin but your precision is uncanny," Thane said

She turned back to face Thane still sitting in his chair, his back to her.

"That wasn't meant to hurt you. None of this was _meant_ to hurt you," Shepard said.

"I believe you called it the 'quick kill'," Thane said.

"It was a figure of speech. I – I just meant –," Shepard said.

Thane held up a hand and said, "I know what you meant, Shepard. Still, the irony is not lost on me."

Thane stood and turned to Shepard before continuing, "Thank you, Shepard. I will look into this matter."


	39. Chapter 16: The Dissension

**Chapter 16: The Dissension**

The Normandy docked with the Citadel and half of Shepard's team was already waiting at the airlock for the chance to get off the ship for five minutes in a place they wouldn't be shot at. Probably. Shepard noticed that Lia was among the group gathered, and was pleased to see that Kasumi stood next to her with her arm laced through Lia's. Lia had come a long way since Shepard picked her up on the Citadel, but with the crap she went through the last time she was here, Shepard wasn't keen on the idea of the young quarian going it alone.

The airlock opened and Shepard stepped off the ship, weaving her way through the small crowd of people milling about on the dock. Garrus and Mordin followed her as she made her way through the Zakera Wards to the seedy, cheap rooms that Garrus and she had rented before. Mordin took the choice of location in stride, even this was better than where he had been on Omega. She had encouraged him to bring something to eat and drink with him because it would take a while to watch the videos and she didn't want him leaving the room until he was finished. He seemed to take her advice to heart and carried a bag slung over his shoulder; she could see a water bottle slipped into the side netting. Shepard rented a room and accepted the pass card from the bored asari behind the desk. She didn't bother to look up at Shepard once during the transaction and that suited Shepard just fine.

Shepard averted her gaze as an asari came stumbling out of a room still sliding the sleeves of her dress into place; a turian with a smug grin followed her out. It occurred to Shepard that the pair must think that Shepard was about to engage in a threesome with Mordin and Garrus. Shepard chuckled and just shook her head when Garrus asked her what was funny. She found the room that matched the pass card and waved it in front of the locked door release. The release turned green and she hit the controls.

Once inside, Garrus scanned the room for bugs. They both knew they wouldn't find any but she was a little proud of his paranoia when it came to keeping her safe. Shepard set the laptop down on the coffee table and booted it up before handing the OSD to Mordin. He sat down on the couch and slid the OSD in to place.

"Wait, before you start. No copies of these videos, Mordin. I mean it. Not for your personal use, not to send to anyone else for any reason. You don't talk about them to anyone without my approval. Give me your word," Shepard said.

"Shepard. Am a scientist; doctor. Understand nature of confidentiality. Don't need it explained. Won't copy or share files. Promise," Mordin said.

"Or talk about them with anyone without my permission," Shepard said.

"Yes, yes, yes. Won't talk about them either," Mordin said.

"Alright. Message me when you're done and Garrus or I will come get the laptop and OSD," Shepard said.

"Not staying?" Mordin asked.

 _"_ _Gods no, please don't stay,"_ Jane said.

"No… I don't want to see them again," Shepard said.

"Ah. Intense emotional response to visual reminder of trauma. Understandable. Can provide counseling if necessary. Though likely more comfortable with Dr. Chakwas or Ms. Chambers," Mordin said.

 _"_ _Counseling can't fix this,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah, I don't need counseling. Well, I'm not going to undergo counseling. Just watch the damn videos and message me when you're done," Shepard said.

Mordin chuckled and opened the folder on the OSD. Shepard and Garrus hurried out of the room, locking it behind them. He didn't want to hear her pained screams coming through the speakers any more than she did.

"Going to see Anderson?" Garrus asked once they were back in the hall.

"Yeah. He's probably already got word that the Normandy docked and is waiting for me," Shepard said.

"Did you need me with you for this one?" Garrus asked.

"No, not if you have something else you want to do," Shepard said.

"I've got some people to talk to, then. Message me if you need me. Otherwise, I'll let you know when I'm done," Garrus said.

Garrus wrapped a hand around Shepard's waist and pressed his forehead to hers before giving her a quick kiss and going his separate way. Shepard was curious to see that he was walking further into the motel instead of toward the exit but she didn't question him. She made her way back out of the motel and to the nearest rapid transit station before taking a cab to the Councilor's office.

"Commander Shepard, welcome. Councilor Anderson is waiting for you inside," the pretty young woman sitting at the desk outside of Anderson's office said.

"Thanks," Shepard said with a nod.

She opened Anderson's door and found Anderson standing in front of the balcony looking out over the Presidium. Shepard stopped in her tracks when her eyes landed on the four other people in Anderson's office.

 _"_ _What's this, what are they doing here? James?"_ Jane said.

"Vega?" Shepard said.

"I don't know," Shepard thought.

"Hey, Ídolo, you made it," James said.

 _"_ _I hate that, he should be calling us Lola,"_ Jane said.

"I like it," Shepard thought.

Shepard glanced from James to Kirrahe to the unknown turian and asari before turning her attention to Anderson. Anderson turned from the balcony and Shepard saluted.

"Forgive me, sir, but I wasn't expecting a welcoming party," Shepard said.

"No, you'll have to forgive me, Shepard. I wanted to talk with you about it first but the Council decided that it was preferable to handle the matter directly. The other Councilors will be here shortly," Anderson said.

"What's going on, sir?" Shepard asked.

"You'll see soon enough, Shepard. Have a seat," Anderson said.

 _"_ _If he isn't telling us, it can't be good. Somethings wrong,"_ Jane said.

"I don't like it either but its Anderson, if we can't trust him of all people then there isn't anyone that we can," Shepard thought.

She glanced around uneasily before saying, "I think I'd rather remain standing, if that's alright with you, sir."

"Suit yourself, Shepard. Try to relax though, this isn't as bad as you think," Anderson said.

The door slid open and the three other Councilors walked in. Shepard turned towards them and stood with her hands behind her back as Anderson took his place next to them.

"Commander Shepard, we are pleased to see you have arrived," Tevos said.

"Thank you, ma'am, but I'm a bit confused as to what exactly is going on here," Shepard said.

"Always straight to the point, Shepard. One of your rare redeeming qualities," Sparatus said.

 _"_ _Ass,"_ Jane said.

"Ass," Shepard thought.

"We apologize for the surprise, Shepard but we felt that it was in the Council's interest to ensure that this meeting remained as discreet as possible," Tevos said.

Shepard glanced at Anderson who hadn't spoken yet in his official capacity. He smiled and nodded at her encouragingly.

"I see. Well, what can I do for you, Councilors?" Shepard asked.

"It is not often that we urge a Spectre towards a particular course of action, but it is not often that a Spectre makes a request for us to shut down a mass relay," Valern said.

"We have considered your request, Shepard, and after much debate we have decided to honor your request," Sparatus said. "I only hope that you are aware of the massive amount of political backlash that your planned actions will cause."

 _"_ _Wait, what?"_ Jane said.

"What Councilor Sparatus is trying to say is –," Tevos began.

"She knows what I'm damn well saying, Tevos," Sparatus snapped.

Shepard's brows rose to comical heights. She had never heard one of the Councilors speak out of turn towards one another before. Tensions must be higher than she thought.

 _"_ _Tread lightly,"_ Jane said.

"No shit," Shepard thought.

"I assure you, Councilors, that I do understand fully the repercussions of these actions and am more than prepared to accept the consequences. If there was another way, any other way to guarantee the expected outcome of my plan, I would gladly choose a different course," Shepard said.

Anderson held his head a little higher and Shepard beamed inside at the display of his pride in her. Sparatus fluttered his mandibles before speaking again.

"Yes, well, I am sure there will be consequences whether you are prepared to accept them or not. We have begun evacuating the system and have sent a team ahead of you to disable the relay. The official reason for these actions is reports of a serious terrorist threat," Sparatus said.

"A terrorist threat, sir?" Shepard asked.

"You are planning on destroying a mass relay, Shepard," Sparatus said.

 _"_ _You son-of-a-bitch…,"_ Jane said.

"You're setting me up to look like a terrorist?" Shepard asked.

"Commander, please, try and see things from our point of view," Tevos said.

"Shepard, this isn't as bad as it sounds. We discussed this to great lengths and if things go right, then you'll have the full backing of the Council when this is done," Anderson said.

 _"_ _Not as bad as it sounds! How is this not as bad as it sounds? This was supposed to help us do this the right way, save lives and if we were damn lucky avoid charges of terrorism but they're orchestrating it so that is exactly what will happen. And of course they'll deny any knowledge of the incident; they won't admit it was sanctioned. You have got to be fucking kidding me, not as bad as it sounds my ass!"_ Jane ranted.

"We have decided to send people with you, to act as witnesses to your actions. If what you say is true, and you are acting in good faith, they will be there to testify on your behalf," Valern said.

"And if you aren't, they will be there to testify against you," Sparatus said.

 _"_ _Gods it would feel so good to punch him right now,"_ Jane said.

"The Council does not believe you are acting in bad faith, Commander," Tevos said. "We have chosen someone from each of the Councilor races to accompany you. Not only will this allow you to have support and witnesses, but it allows us to stand by the testimonies of our chosen should the time come when we are called upon to pass judgement."

"This is in your best interest, Shepard," Anderson said.

Shepard looked over her shoulder to see that the four others had lined up behind her and were standing at parade rest. She turned back to the Council and nodded her head feeling like she had a ton of bricks in the pit of her stomach.

 _"_ _At least we know James and Kirrahe,"_ Jane said.

"Because of the nature of your mission, as well as the nature of those you are currently working with, we have chosen only military trained members from our races and only as a volunteer basis. They are prepared to follow your command for the duration of this mission and are willing to adopt cover stories if it suits your needs in order for them to be accepted aboard the Normandy," Tevos said.

Shepard raked a thumbnail back and forth across her forehead before responding.

"I don't believe that will be necessary, and would likely only complicate matters when it came time for them to leave again," Shepard said.

"Very well, it is your choice how you handle their insertion into your crew, Shepard," Tevos said.

"With the Council's express permission, I would like to extend an invitation to one Cerberus Operative Miranda Lawson to join me here in Councilor Anderson's office without fear of recourse, to discuss this matter before bringing them aboard the ship," Shepard said.

"As long as Councilor Anderson believes that he has taken appropriate precautions and feels that it would not jeopardize any sensitive information, the Council consents to this request," Tevos said after receiving nods from the other Councilors.

The Council broke their formation and all but Anderson left the office. Shepard waited until they were gone before pinching the bridge of her nose. She sighed and turned to face her new temporary teammates. Vega winked at her as her eyes roamed over the group. The turian stepped forward and extended her hand to Shepard.

"Altiria Eraslius of the sixth fleet, happy to be of service, ma'am," she said.

Shepard shook her hand and said, "Thank you. Why did you volunteer for this?"

"Ma'am?" Altiria said.

"I asked why you volunteered. I don't mean to question your motives, but this doesn't seem like an ideal assignment," Shepard said.

"Ah, well, my CO said that the Councilor had requested volunteers for a mission involving a Spectre and I was one of twenty-three to volunteer. I wasn't given the details until after I was chosen. I was given the option to rescind my agreement to service but…," Altiria said.

"No turian would do that," Shepard said.

"Exactly. Not that I wanted to, anyway, ma'am. Once the mission was explained to me I was in full agreement. I am honored for the opportunity to work with you, and if I am not mistaken Garrus Vakarian still serves with you as well?" Altiria said.

 _"_ _That could work in our favor,"_ Jane said.

"You know Garrus?" Shepard asked knowing damn well Altiria could smell Garrus all over her.

"Yes ma'am, we served our mandatory time together. He left to join C-Sec but I stayed on. It will be nice to see him again," Altiria said.

"Excellent, that will make things easier," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Or… it could make things awkward,"_ Jane said.

"Why would it be awkward?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _They could have a history,"_ Jane thought.

"That's irrelevant for me and she carries herself professionally, I don't see a problem," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _They could become involved again, you told Garrus you wouldn't care,"_ Jane said.

"And I wouldn't, so again, I don't see a problem," Shepard thought.

"Yes, ma'am," Altiria said.

"Hey, she don't like all that ma'am business," James said.

Altiria's mandibles fluttered as she glanced between James and Shepard. Anderson chuckled and put a hand on Shepard's shoulder.

"Mmm. She gets that from me. It doesn't stop her from calling me sir and saluting me every chance she gets," Anderson said.

"Shepard is fine, if you're comfortable with it," Shepard said.

Altiria looked like Shepard had just asked her to rob a bank or take candy from a baby.

"I – I I'm not sure that I…," Altiria said.

"It's alright, really. It's a preference off the field but I won't order you," Shepard said.

"Thank you, ma'am," Altiria said.

"Would you prefer to be addressed as Eraslius?" Shepard asked.

"You are my commanding officer, you can call me whatever you like, ma'am," Altiria said.

Anderson chuckled and patted Shepard on the back. The asari stepped forward and Altiria moved back. Shepard shook the asari's hand when it was offered.

"Norisne Ditora. Pleasure to meet you, Shepard. I volunteered because it was something to do. Sorry, I don't have a better excuse than that," Norisne said.

Shepard laughed and said, "Fair enough. Nice to meet you Norisne. Before I bring you aboard, though, I have to ask – will you be comfortable working with a Justicar?"

The color drained from Norisne's face as she stuttered out, "A – a – a Justicar? As in an asari Justicar?"

"That's right," Shepard said.

"I wasn't aware – no, no I'd be honored. Does the Councilor know that you are working with a Justicar?" Norisne asked.

"No, I don't think so. I only just picked her up before coming here. Is that… is that something I should report to Tevos?" Shepard asked turning her head to Anderson.

"Don't look at me, I don't even know what a Justicar is," Anderson said. "But by her reaction, I'd say Tevos would want to know."

 _"_ _I never bothered to tell her. Didn't see a reason to,"_ Jane said. _"Of course, I was never as chummy with her as you've been either."_

"Oh… uh, I'll let Norisne here explain it to you while I run by Tevos' office and give Miranda a call," Shepard said.

Anderson nodded his head so Shepard stepped out of the office and called Miranda on her omni-tool.

"Yes, Commander?" Miranda asked when her face appeared.

"Miranda, I just got out of an impromptu meeting with the Council. I've requested and received permission for you to meet me at Councilor Anderson's office to discuss matters of a sensitive nature pertaining to a planned mission," Shepard said.

"I'll be there in a few minutes, then. Should I bring anyone else?" Miranda asked.

"No, just you. I'll see you in a few," Shepard said and closed her omni-tool.

She made her way down the hall to Tevos' office and stepped inside the waiting room. The asari at the desk smiled at her in greeting before pressing a button and speaking into the comm.

"Spectre Shepard is here to see you, Councilor," the asari said.

"Send her in, Selene," Tevos said.

"The Councilor will see you now," Selene said as if Shepard wasn't standing right there to hear it herself.

"Right, thanks Selene," Shepard said.

Shepard stepped inside Tevos office to find the Councilor sitting at her desk. She waved her hand towards one of the chairs situated on the opposite side and Shepard sat down.

"Was there something we failed to cover in the meeting, Shepard?" Tevos asked.

"No, this isn't about the mission. It was suggested that you would wish to know that a Justicar has joined me in my fight against the collectors," Shepard said.

Tevos' mouth jaw dropped but she quickly recovered. She leaned forward and laced her fingers together before resting them on the desk.

 _"_ _Never seen that look on her face before,"_ Jane said.

"Commander, I feel I must warn you… not as a member of the Council, but as an asari, that Justicars are… I'm not even sure how to say this," Tevos said.

 _"_ _Scary death machines of justice according to every asari ever?"_ Jane said giving Shepard the impression of rolling her eyes.

"It's OK, Councilor, I'm more familiar with Justicars and the Code they follow than you might expect. Justicar Samara has sworn an Oath of Subsumation to me and I have full faith in our ability to work in peaceful collaboration towards our goals," Shepard said.

"Goddess… and Oath of Subsumation? I – I don't know what to say. That is a tremendous honor she has given you, Shepard. Had I known, I wouldn't have needed to find an asari volunteer for your mission. You may excuse Norisne if you wish. I have no doubt that the word of a Justicar would carry all the weight needed by any asari," Tevos said.

 _"_ _I kind of like Norisne,"_ Jane said.

"I see no reason to dismiss Norisne, Samara will be staying with me beyond dealing with the Alpha Relay while the others chosen by the Council will be expected to leave my service," Shepard said.

"Very well, Shepard. I would very much like to meet Justicar Samara if she would be amendable to such an introduction," Tevos said.

"I don't think she would mind at all. Once we get things settled in Anderson's office, I'll see if Samara is willing to come to your office," Shepard said.

"Oh, perhaps it would be wisest if you accompanied Samara from the Normandy to my office. I'm afraid that the presence of a Justicar walking the Citadel might alarm the asari and if…," Tevos said.

"I'll make sure there aren't any incidents, Councilor," Shepard said.

Tevos smiled ruefully and said, "Thank you, Commander."

Shepard excused herself and made it back to Anderson's office just as Miranda was arriving. Miranda's eyes roamed the waiting area, taking in the details as Shepard led her past the receptionist and into Anderson's actual office. Miranda's eye met Kirrahe's first and she nodded to the now very familiar salarian. Kirrahe returned the nod as he stoically waited for orders. James let out a low whistle and Miranda's head turned to find him leaning against the wall. She gave James the same cold glare that she had given him the night he tried to hit on her before turning her attention to Anderson.

"Councilor Anderson," Miranda said.

"Ms. Lawson," Anderson said with a nod.

"Miranda, the Council has decided to cooperate with my request to disable the Alpha Relay in the Bahak System and has called for an evacuation of the system's colonies," Shepard said.

"Why was this request made?" Miranda asked.

"I have reason to believe that the reapers are moving en masse to access that relay, from where they will be able to access every other relay," Shepard said.

"Then shutting the relay down will not be sufficient, Commander," Miranda said.

"I know. I'm going to have to destroy the relay," Shepard said.

"The Council has agreed to this?" Miranda asked raising an eyebrow at Anderson.

"Provisionally and with conditions. The Council has selected these four to accompany Shepard to the Bahak System. They will bear witness to her actions and determine whether her actions had just cause," Anderson said.

"And if they decide her reasons weren't good enough?" Miranda asked cocking her hip and raising an eyebrow.

"Then I'll be charged and likely found guilty of terrorism," Shepard said.

"You can't be serious? They've cleared the way for you to destroy a relay but if they decide later that it wasn't worth it you get hit with trumped up charges?" Miranda asked.

 _"_ _Miranda gets it, why don't they?"_ Jane asked.

"Who says they don't?" Shepard thought.

"That about sums it up," Shepard said.

"This is ridiculous," Miranda said.

"I don't disagree, Ms. Lawson but unfortunately I am only one part of the Council and have done everything that I could to support Shepard. Having these men and women join her for the mission will work in the other direction, too. When the batarians come hollering for blood, and they will, Shepard will have four respectable witnesses who can testify to the necessity of her actions," Anderson said.

"And of course the Council has nothing to gain by placing people aboard a Cerberus vessel," Miranda said.

 _"_ _Not really, not with us already giving Anderson everything we can get on Cerberus,"_ Jane said.

"She has a point. I'm sure Miranda suspects that I'm passing information along to Anderson, but the rest of the Council doesn't trust me as well as he does. They very well might be there to spy as well… both for the Council and for their own people," Shepard thought.

"They have all been instructed to follow Shepard's command and it is only for the duration of this mission, Ms. Lawson. Their only orders from the Council are to observe and assist under Shepard's command, they aren't going to go digging around in Cerberus' systems if that is your concern," Anderson said.

"I think it's a terrible idea, but this is your call, Shepard," Miranda said.

"It isn't ideal but the alternative would be catastrophically worse for the Bahak system. We don't know with certainty that disabling the relay will save the system but it can't hurt, and the Council has the authority to evacuate the colonies," Shepard said. "This has to be done, Miranda, and I'd rather make sure as few lives are lost in the process as possible. Return to the Normandy and make whatever preparations you feel you need to make."

"Very well, Commander," Miranda said as she turned to leave.

"You four are dismissed to make whatever preparations. I will collect your contact information from Councilor Anderson and contact you one hour before you will be expected to report to the Normandy," Shepard said.

The Council Four saluted Shepard before following Miranda's footsteps out of the office. Shepard waited for the door to close behind them before turning back to Anderson.

"You put your as on the line for this, didn't you? What happens to you if the rest of the Council decides I'm a monumental fuck up?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _Oh gods, they wouldn't dare charge him with this!"_ Jane said.

"Don't worry about me, kid. I've never been a fan of all the politics, but I know how the game is played. I have faith in you, Shepard. I know you wouldn't be doing this if you didn't completely believe it was for the best," Anderson said.

"Thank you, sir, but you didn't answer my question," Shepard said.

Anderson sighed and turned to walk out on the balcony. Shepard followed after him and leaned a hip against the low wall.

 _"_ _No, no, no. We can't let Anderson go down with us for this,"_ Jane said.

"It won't be good, Shepard, but this is bigger than you and me. It's bigger than all of us. If it means I spend the rest of my years in prison then so be it, I'll gladly accept that fate if it means helping you to save the galaxy from these reaper sons-of-bitches," Anderson said.

"I won't let that happen to you, sir," Shepard said.

"That so?" Anderson asked with a chuckle.

"Damn right, Anderson. I'll bust you out of the joint myself. Put you on a ship with Kahlee Sanders and send the two of you off to retire on a beach somewhere," Shepard said.

"Retire?! You sayin' I'm getting old, Shepard?" Anderson asked.

Shepard laughed and turned to lean against the railing, looking out over the Presidium. They watched as everyone milled about down below, going on about their normal lives believing that their world was safe and secure. Attending business meetings, having dates, playing with their children, shopping for birthday presents. None of them really knew that all the while the biggest threat this galaxy had seen in 50,000 years was headed their way. None of them really knew, even if they had seen Shepard's video that got leaked to the public and believed that the reapers were real. They didn't really know. They didn't really understand. And they wouldn't, not until things got ugly in their own front yards.

"How are you holding up, Shepard?" Anderson asked.

"As well as can be expected," Shepard said.

"And Jane?" Anderson asked.

"Oh, she's still making sure I know that she thinks half of what I do is stupid, but she's not fighting me when I go looking for information," Shepard said.

"Good. That's good. Did you make it to check on Talitha?" Anderson asked.

"She's dead. I wasn't fast enough, Anderson. They had her… they had her implanted and indoctrinated. Trying to study indoctrination. I tried to get her out of there and the assholes flipped a kill switch. Killed her and the others right in front of me," Shepard said.

"Damn… I'm sorry, Shepard," Anderson said.

"Not half as sorry as they are. I need to call in one of my crew, she has files for you that were recovered from the facility on Gellix. I wanted to make sure it was all delivered to you in person," Shepard said.

Anderson nodded giving her to go ahead so she called Kasumi over her omni-tool. Shepard smiled when Kasumi's face popped into view. Kasumi was busy stuffing ramen into her mouth while Lia laughed in the background.

"Kasumi, can the two of you come up to Councilor Anderson's office? I want you to give him the files from Gellix," Shepard said.

"Sure thing, Shep. I'm almost done and then we'll be right up. I got you a present, I can't wait for you to see it," Kasumi said.

Shepard cringed when she heard Lia burst into a fresh fit of giggles. Whatever it was that Kasumi got her, Shepard was entirely sure it was going to make her uncomfortable.

"Oh, but Kasumi I didn't get you anything," Shepard said.

"That's OK! See you soon!" Kasumi said, disconnecting the call.

Shepard groaned and Anderson chuckled.

"Was that Lia in the background?" Anderson asked.

"Yeah," Shepard said.

"Why am I not surprised that she's still with you? She sounds good though. Happy," Anderson said.

Shepard shrugged and said, "She wanted to stay. She's been working hard to train for the field."

"Leave it to you to take in every civilian you find and turn them into trained soldiers," Anderson said.

"Not _every_ civilian," Shepard said.

Anderson chuckled and shook his head.

"So, I've been thinking…," Shepard said.

Anderson raised an eyebrow and said, "Why does that sound more like plotting?"

"Miranda and Jacob were both with me on Gellix. They got to see firsthand what Cerberus really does, and neither of them liked what they saw," Shepard said.

"OK," Anderson said.

"She's not ready for it yet, but I think that given a little more time… I think that I can convince Miranda to replace the Illusive Man. Take over Cerberus and use it as an asset to help us in this war instead of something we'll have to fight against," Shepard said.

"You think that will work?" Anderson asked.

"I think that there is no way in hell I'm not going to put a bullet between the Illusive Man's eyes as soon as I get the chance, and if I don't put someone in his place, someone who knows the organization and I can trust, then someone else will rise up to fill the spot anyway. I'd rather it be Miranda," Shepard said.

 _"_ _If we can still trust her. She put control chips in us, you can't forget that,"_ Jane said.

"And she also just defended us to Anderson. A lot of things changed, Jane, but I still think Miranda is good at heart and is on our side," Shepard insisted.

"Hmmm. I've only met her twice but I have to say that it doesn't seem like she's in any hurry to betray Cerberus, Shepard," Anderson said.

"I know Miranda. Better than she realizes and I know she'll end up leaving Cerberus and being on the run from them either way. Like I said, I don't think she's ready just yet but I think I can make it work, sir," Shepard said. "The question is would the Alliance be willing to work with her?"

"I think that would depend on how she ran Cerberus. The Alliance won't work with the organization so long as it's doing things like it was on Gellix," Anderson said.

"Of course. Trust me, sir, Miranda was appalled when she saw that facility," Shepard said.

"I know I've said it before, but I trust your judgement, Shepard," Anderson said. "Now, run me through on what we gained from Fehl Prime."

Shepard spent the time they were waiting for Kasumi filling Anderson in on the events of Fehl Prime including the research facility and the presence of the reaper artifact. Anderson nodded in approval at the measures Shepard took to destroy the artifact, telling her it was better to be safe than sorry. When she mentioned the collector they found alive in the tank, and that it was kept for research Anderson insisted on seeing it himself. Shepard agreed and told him she'd take him to see it as soon as they were done with the file transfer.

Kasumi and Lia arrived about twenty-minutes later. Kasumi had a small blue and white paper shopping bag in her hand, swinging it back and forth by the handles. Lia giggled when Kasumi stopped Shepard from looking in the bag, telling her she should wait until she was back on the Normandy. Shepard groaned and folded the top of the bag down before tucking it under her arm.

Kasumi sat down at Anderson's desk and got to work transferring the files to his laptop. Shepard reminded her that she was to transfer the Cerberus files and that was it. Kasumi stuck her lip out in a pout but Shepard knew that she'd do as she was told. Anderson made idle conversation with Lia as they waited for the transfer to be complete, asking her about her training and how she liked it aboard the Normandy.

Once the file transfer was complete Kasumi and Lia left Anderson's office to wander around the Citadel. Shepard had a feeling that Kasumi might be doing a little training of her own with you young quarian and she sincerely hoped that it didn't end with Shepard having to convince C-Sec to not arrest Lia. Shepard walked Anderson back to the Normandy where he got a few sidelong glances from the Cerberus crew still aboard. Anderson gestured towards the cockpit and Shepard nodded.

"Hello Councilor Anderson," EDI said as Anderson entered the cockpit.

"Hello, uh, EDI," Anderson said.

Joker turned his chair around and said, "Anderson. Here for another 'inspection'?"

Anderson chuckled and said, "Had to come see this collector you guys brought aboard."

"Hey, while you're here, maybe you can tell her to get off my ass about leaving the ship," Joker said.

"Mmm. I'm not fighting that battle, Joker. You're on your own," Anderson said.

"Shepard is right, Mr. Moreau. Moderate amounts of exercise would be beneficial for your condition, and my databases indicate that socialization is an important part of healthy human functioning," EDI said.

"Great. Now the AI think's it's my mom, too. Thanks, Shepard," Joker said.

Shepard shrugged and said, "You're the one that brought it up, Joker."

Anderson chuckled and said, "It's good seeing you, Joker. I better get on with this though; I've got a meeting in an hour."

"Alright. Take it easy, Anderson," Joker said.

Shepard could hear EDI extolling the virtues of exercise and Vrolik's Syndrome as she and Anderson made their way from the cockpit. Shepard passed the gift bag off to Kelly and asked her to take it to her cabin for her before she led Anderson to the tech labs. She had the urge to snoop around with Mordin gone but decided he'd be able to tell somehow, and would probably tranquilize her for it. Anderson followed her over to the collector floating in golden fluid. He stopped in front of the tank and put his hands behind his back.

"It's still alive?" Anderson asked.

"Yeah. All of that," Shepard said indicating the machinery, "is keeping him alive."

"And you're sure it can't get out of there?" Anderson asked.

Shepard snorted and said, "I've been asking that so many times that Mordin threatened to tranquilize me if I asked again. No, it's not getting out unless we let it out. Still… feels like it knows we're here, doesn't it?"

Anderson grunted in response before moving to the side of the tank to peer at the back of the collector.

"Your scientist, what was his name, Mordin? – He getting anything useful from it?" Anderson asked.

"He hasn't told me much, sir, but he promises he's making progress. I'm not sure why he's not talking. Mordin loves to talk. My guess is that he thinks whatever he's working on, I'm not going to like," Shepard said.

Anderson looked over at Shepard and asked, "I don't suppose we really need to like it, do we?"

"No sir. It just needs to get the job done," Shepard said.

Anderson grunted again and stepped away from the tank before saying, "Well kid, I'd better get back. Keep me updated on this thing, will ya?"

"Yes sir. I've got to speak with Samara – the Justicar – Tevos wants to meet her if she's willing. Do you mind seeing yourself out?" Shepard asked.

"I think I can manage, Shepard," Anderson said with a chuckle.

Shepard made her way down to the starboard observation. Samara was unsurprisingly sitting in the middle of the floor with her biotics flaring around her body as she meditated. When Shepard walked in the biotics faded and Samara inclined her head towards Shepard.

"Shepard, it is good to see you," Samara said.

"Hey, Samara. I was wondering how you would feel about coming with me to meet Councilor Tevos. I mentioned that you had joined the Normandy and she asked to meet you," Shepard said.

"I have not yet visited the Citadel. I will be glad to join you," Samara said unfolding her long legs and standing.

Shepard led Samara through the Citadel to the Councilor's office. Shepard couldn't help but to notice the reaction of every asari that caught sight of Samara. Dozens of blue lips whispered the word 'Justicar' but none dared to point as Samara walked by. Asari moved aside clearing the path for Samara even as confused volus, salarians, and turians looked on trying to understand what the fuss was about. Samara didn't seem to notice, her eyes looked about at the architecture with mild curiosity from time to time but otherwise she moved through the crowd of people as if they weren't there.

Shepard opened the door to Tevos' office and the asari in the waiting area glanced up. Her jaw dropped open and she scrambled to her feet. Samara walked in and glanced around her again, waiting for Shepard to lead the way.

"Selene, could you please tell Councilor Tevos that the Justicar has come to see her?" Shepard asked.

"Oh, goddess. I mean. Yes, yes, of course. Right away," Selene said before announcing them over the intercom.

Shepard was a little impressed when Tevos hurried out of her office to greet Samara in person as opposed to waiting for Samara to come to her.

"Justicar, it is an honor to meet you. Thank you for coming. Please, won't you come into my office?" Tevos said extending her hand.

Samara accepted Tevos hand before dipping her head in acceptance of the request.

"Selene, bring us some tea," Tevos said before stepping aside and motioning towards her office door.

Samara stepped inside and Shepard followed even though she hadn't actually been asked to join them. Tevos came in last and closed the door behind her before offering a chair to Samara. She started to return to the chair behind her desk and stopped in her tracks. Shepard schooled her expression before she could smirk at Tevos conundrum. She was afraid she would insult the Justicar by taking a seat of power and authority in her presence.

 _"_ _We should really be recording this, it's priceless,"_ Jane said.

"I think I'll stand, if you don't mind, Councilor. It's nice to move around a bit after being on the ship for so long," Shepard said.

Tevos flashed Shepard a grateful smile before taking the second chair next to Samara in front of the desk. Shepard paced away from the two asari to lean out over the balcony behind the desk giving them room to speak in private but remaining nearby in case either of them wished to speak to her. Selene came in a few minutes later carrying a tray with small cups and a tea pot. She sat the tray down quietly next to Tevos before backing out of the room once more.

Shepard paid only half-attention as the two asari spoke. The conversation consisted primarily of Tevos asking a question and getting the briefest of response from Samara before floundering to find another question to keep the conversation going. It was truly a rare treat to hear the asari Councilor stumble over her words. Shepard glanced at Samara to see the Justicar delicately balancing a cup of tea on her knee while smiling softly at Tevos. She couldn't see Tevos' face from her position, but the asari's posture spoke volumes about her unease. Shepard wondered if Tevos had some reason to fear the Justicar aside from reputation alone; did she fear that the Justicar would learn something about Tevos – learn that she had done something that would warrant a swift judgement from the Justicar? She was ultimately just a politician, after all, and what politician didn't have skeletons tucked neatly away in their closets? Shepard turned her attention back out over the Presidium watching the pedestrians come and go.

"I am certain that having a Justicar join the mission will ensure her success. She is quite lucky that you agreed to help," Tevos said.

"Shepard is quite formidable by her own right. I do not believe that the success of her mission to stop the collectors hinges on my presence, but it is kind of you to say so," Samara said.

"Oh yes, of course. Shepard has proven the decision of the Council to make her a Spectre to have been the right choice. She is truly a shining example of the best humanity has to offer and her role in stopping Saren's attack on the Citadel will not soon be forgotten," Tevos said.

"Sovereign's attack," Shepard said absently.

"Excuse me?" Tevos said turning in her chair to look at Shepard.

"I get that the Council feels like they need to downplay the existence of reapers to the general public, but the general public isn't here right now, Councilor. Saren wasn't the real threat. Sovereign was," Shepard said watching Tevos over her shoulder.

"Ah, yes, of course," Tevos said.

"The Council is deceiving those they are sworn to serve? How will they prepare for the war that is to come if they are blind to its arrival?" Samara asked setting the tea cup down on Tevos' desk.

 _"_ _Oops,"_ Jane said.

"The Council wishes to avoid a panic, Justicar, it is in the public's best interest. We cannot even be certain that more reapers are coming. Until we can be certain that there _is_ a threat, alerting the public would only cause panic and riots," Tevos said pleadingly.

"I see. Thank you for the tea, Councilor," Samara said rising to her feet.

 _"_ _Well that went well,"_ Jane said.

Tevos stood up and sat her cup down before plastering a smile on her face and saying, "Yes, of course. You are always welcome to come and speak with me whenever you wish."

"I am ready to return to my meditations aboard the Normandy, if you do not have further need of me, Shepard," Samara said.

"Sure. I'll walk you back," Shepard said.

"Could have gone worse. No one died," Shepard thought.

Shepard gave Tevos a sympathetic smile as she walked past her. The Councilor looked like she was going to be sick but returned Shepard's smile. They got a few feet away from the Councilor's office and Shepard glanced at Samara to see her lips in a tight line.

"That upset you?" Shepard asked.

"It is not the way the asari once would have handled such a threat. She is still so young, and in such a position of power. I fear she has forgotten where it is that she comes from," Samara said.

"She'll come through when it really matters the most," Shepard said.

"You sound certain of this," Samara said.

"Yeah… well, I've known her for a while. Trust me, aside from Anderson, she's the best that Council has when it comes to doing what's right for everyone," Shepard said.

"You do not approve of the other Councilors?" Samara asked.

"Valern isn't horrible, I guess. He's been finding ways to help out, but it's more because he's smart enough to realize this isn't a game and is looking out for salarian interests. Sparatus is an ass," Shepard said eliciting a chuckle from Samara, "he absolutely hates me. Always has. I'm not really sure why, other than that I'm human and I proved that his beloved Spectre Saren was a traitor."

"And Anderson, what kind of Councilor is he?" Samara asked.

"I've known Anderson for a very long time. Before he was on the Council, he was the captain of the old Normandy and my CO. I have nothing but respect for Anderson. He was the best damn captain I've ever had the privilege to serve under. He hates being a Councilor, to be honest. He's never been a fan of politics, but he's doing his best, butting heads with the others trying to make them see reason and to put in every effort he can to stop the reapers before it's too late," Shepard said.

"He is not interested in the power of the position?" Samara asked.

"Only in as much as it gives him a better chance of convincing the rest of the Council to do the right thing," Shepard said.

"I see," said Samara.

Shepard left Samara at the airlock when her omni-tool flashed telling her she had a message. It was Garrus telling her to meet him in the restaurant where she took Lia the day they met. Shepard made her way to the restaurant and made her way to the table where Garrus sat with Grundan Krul.

"What's up?" Shepard asked sitting next to Garrus.

"We've found out who Ross and Cantis are," Garrus said.

"The other two names on the auction list?" Shepard asked.

"That's right. Aliases as we expected. Ross is really a man named Evan Newlin and Cantis' real name is Latius Varcus. I – Shepard, what's wrong?" Garrus asked.

 _"_ _Evan Newlin?"_ Jane asked.

"Evan Newlin. He's Alliance. Was Alliance. Before he decided to throw it away for a payoff, letting his whole squad walk right into an ambush. What the fuck would Newlin want with me?" Shepard asked. "Hell, I was still in basic when he got his dishonorable and thrown in prison."

"I don't know, Shepard, but we know he's on Omega. I've got something better for you though," Garrus said.

"Oh yeah, what's that?" Shepard asked.

"That turian rushing to pay his bill and bolt is Varcus," Garrus said before standing up and vaulting over the table.

Varcus looked back over his shoulder and threw a credit chit at the asari behind the counter before running towards the exit. Shepard stood so fast that the chair she was sitting in clattered to the floor. People in the restaurant began to turn towards the commotion just as Garrus jumped onto another table and used it as a springboard to throw himself at Varcus. Grundan Krul stood calmly as Shepard pulled out her pistol and made her way towards the two turians rolling around on the ground with fists flying.

People began to push and shove to make their way out of the restaurant while others moved back into corners. The asari behind the counter flared with biotic energy, preparing to use them on Garrus and Varcus.

"Council Spectre, ma'am, stand down. Call C-Sec and ask for Bailey," Shepard said to her.

The asari nodded and let her biotics die down. Varcus howled with agony as Garrus slammed his head into the floor, breaking the spikes of his crest and leaving smears of blue blood behind. Shepard got to them just as Garrus was flipping Varcus over onto his stomach, pressing a knee into his back and pulling his hands behind him. Varcus growled at Garrus and Garrus grabbed the broken pieces of crest to use as a handhold and slammed the other turian's face into the ground twice.

"Garrus, enough. Alright. You're scaring the shit out of the costumers," Shepard said crouching down next to Garrus.

"This man is crazy, get him off of me," Varcus said to Shepard.

"Shut up," she said.

"Please, you have to help me!" Varcus said.

Shepard put the barrel of her pistol against Varcus' head and said, "I said shut up."

Varcus fell silent, watching Shepard with hate filled eyes. A few minutes later Bailey showed up with three other officers. He took one look at the turian pinned beneath Garrus before his eyes slid to Shepard standing over them with her pistol out. He made his way straight to Shepard and stood beside her casually looking down at the restrained turian.

"Commander Shepard," Bailey said.

"Bailey thanks for coming. Borrow your cuffs?" Shepard asked.

"Reynolds, give Shepard your cuffs," Bailey said to one of the other officers.

"Yes sir," Reynolds said before fishing out his cuffs and holding them towards Shepard.

Shepard nodded at Garrus and Reynolds moved to pass them to Garrus instead.

"Officer, please. He attacked me for no reason," Varcus said twisting to look at Reynolds.

"If I have to tell you again, Garrus will be very displeased. You've already got blood all over this nice lady's floor, I suggest you shut the hell up," Shepard growled.

"Friend of yours?" Bailey asked nodding towards Garrus.

"Garrus Vakarian, former C-Sec Detective," Shepard said.

Garrus took the cuffs from Reynolds and expertly slapped them on the turian's wrists before pulling him to his feet.

"Former? That's a shame. Looks like we could still use one like him down in C-Sec," Bailey said.

"Sorry, Captain. Shepard would be lost without me," Garrus said shoving Varcus towards the exit.

 _"_ _There's no Shepard without Vakarian,"_ Jane said.

"He's right, you know," Shepard said hoping the tint of sadness in her voice would be missed by the others.

Bailey chuckled and asked, "So… what happened here?"

"Let's get him back to C-Sec and I'll tell you all about it. No shots were fired, no one but him hurt as far as I saw. Have one of your men get a report on the property damages and send it to the Normandy," Shepard said.

"Davis," Bailey said.

"On it sir," Davis said before moving over to the asari proprietor.

"Reynolds, Marcedus read him his rights and take him from Mr. Vakarian here," Bailey said.

Garrus let go of Varcus as the two others each grabbed a hold of one of Varcus' arms. Shepard followed Bailey and the others through the Zakera Wards and back to C-Sec. Bailey had Reynolds and Marcedus put Varcus in one of the interrogation rooms and guard the door. Shepard leaned against the wall next to Bailey's desk while the captain sat on the edge. Garrus stood beside her looking smug; Grundan Krul stood next to him. Bailey's eyes flickered to Grundan Krul, a batarian wasn't a common sight on the Citadel and they generally weren't associated with good things, especially by humans. If Bailey had a problem, he kept it to himself.

"Awhile back we found a list on a prison ship – Purgatory – that had a list of names of people who were interested in an auction that the warden was planning," Shepard said.

"Purgatory, huh, yeah I've heard of it. Houses some of the worst criminals in the galaxy," Bailey said.

"Yeah, well it also sells some of the worst criminals in the galaxy to people who are willing to buy," Shepard said.

"You're kidding?" Bailey asked.

"Nope. So, I was on Purgatory handling business when the warden thought it was a good idea to capture me instead. Planned to sell me to the highest bidder. After we dealt with the warden, we got his auction list," she said.

"He was on that list?" Bailey asked nodding towards the interrogation room.

"Latius Varcus, under the alias Terlus Cantis. My sources told me I could find him here on the Citadel. Tracked him to the restaurant and called in Shepard. He recognized her, probably heard me say his name and tried to make a run for it," Garrus said.

"I'll be damned. Well, we've got him in custody now. I can bring him up on every charges I can possibly pin on him and with you word as a Spectre it won't be questioned. Just say the word," Bailey said.

"I'd like to question him first. See why the hell he was interested in trying to buy me. Who knows, maybe he'll give us a whole other list of charges you can slap him with in the process," Shepard said.

"You got it," Bailey said nodding at the door.

Shepard started towards the door, Garrus and Grundan Krul beside her. The two C-Sec officers moved out of their way. The turian, Marcedus, dipped his head to Garrus. Garrus stopped and held his hand out to the turian.

"Marcedus. I remember you, you were just coming on right before I left C-Sec," Garrus said.

"That's right, sir," Marcedus said taking Garrus' hand.

"Hey Shepard," Bailey said.

Shepard turned back to Bailey as he walked over to her.

"I've got to ask… when the call came in they said you asked for me by name," Bailey said.

"Yeah well, aside from yours being only one of two names in C-Sec I know these days, you were nice to me on my first day back on the job," Shepard said with a shrug.

"Huh, suppose I did tell you that if you needed anything to let me know," Bailey said with a smile. "Glad I could help."

Shepard pushed the controls on the door and walked inside to find Varcus sitting at a table, cuffs now keeping him chained to the table. Garrus moved to the right side of the room and leaned against the wall. Grundan Krul mimicked his posture next to the door. Shepard crossed the room and pulled out the chair opposite of Varcus. He lifted his gaze to stare at Shepard as she sat down.

"Care to tell me why you were on a list of people for an auction that was supposed to have me as the featured product?" Shepard asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about. You have no right to detain me. I want a lawyer," Varcus said.

"And if I were C-Sec I might actually care. Listen, you can either be up front with me or I can leave you alone in here with the pissed off turian and our batarian friend. Your call," Shepard said.

"He's no turian. Not smelling like that; smelling like you. Might as well be a human if he's going to be fucking one," Varcus said.

Shepard glanced at Garrus who calmly pushed away from the wall and walked behind Varcus. The turian tried to turn his head to track Garrus' movements but Garrus grabbed his crest and used his thumb to push into the raw, broken edges of Varcus' crest. Varcus screamed in anguish before biting it off with a growl and trying to pull away from Garrus. Shepard forced her face into a neutral expression.

"Ouch. That looks like it really hurts. Let me ask you again, why were you trying to buy me?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _Are you seriously going to let him do this? Dawn, tell him to stop! This isn't him, this isn't who he is,"_ Jane said.

"It is now, and I'm not doing a damn thing to push him away. I don't care if you think it's wrong," Shepard thought.

"I've got nothing to say to you, human," Varcus said.

Garrus pressed his thumb against Varcus' crest again, eliciting another pained cry and threatening growl from the other turian.

"I don't think he liked that answer. You want to try again?" Shepard asked.

Varcus was breathing heavily, his mandibles were pulled in tight against his face and his eyes had a particularly panicked look about them when he looked back at Shepard.

"Just kill me. It's better than what they'd do," Varcus said.

"Than what who would do?" Shepard asked.

Varcus tried to shake his head but couldn't quite pull off the movement with Garrus' grip. His mandibles sagged.

"Just kill me," Varcus said.

Garrus started to move his thumb again but Shepard swiped her hand through the air above the table, signaling him to wait.

"Varcus, who are you afraid of?" Shepard asked softening her tone.

"I can't tell you," Varcus said.

Shepard glanced at Garrus who pressed his thumb against the broken crest again. Varcus howled in agony until Garrus stopped. Varcus' head dropped forward as he panted to catch his breath.

 _"_ _I can't believe you're doing this. Torture? Really?"_ Jane said.

"Hah, this isn't torture. Tombs was torture. Talitha was torture. Look, it's not pretty but he's not exactly waterboarding the guy," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _You have changed…,"_ Jane said.

"The Dissension," Varcus said so quietly Shepard almost missed it.

"The Dissension?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _I haven't heard of it,"_ Jane said.

Varcus bobbed his head as far as Garrus would let him. Shepard looked to Garrus, he lifted his shoulder in a shrug. She glanced behind her to Grundan Krul who shook his head.

"Who or what is The Dissension?" Shepard asked.

"Turians… who think that humans never should have been given a place in galactic politics… who think that the First Contact War should have been the beginning, not the end of the turian-human conflict," Varcus said.

 _"_ _Fantastic, because we really need new fanatics to fight,"_ Jane said.

Shepard leaned forward and clasped her hands on the table before asking, "What do they want with me?"

Vacrus snorted in derision, "You're the shining light of humanity; their savior. What would they do to save you? What lengths would they go to get you back?"

"How many are there?" Shepard asked.

"Don't know. Enough to start a Second Contact War," Varcus said.

 _"_ _Son-of-a-bitch. You have to tell the Council about this,"_ Jane said.

"Damn it," Shepard said.

She stood and opened the door looking around until she spotted Bailey at his desk.

"Bailey, get me Councilors Anderson and Sparatus down here. Now. Tell them I said this is urgent," Shepard said.

Bailey nodded before turning to his phone. Shepard closed the door again and started pacing the room.

"What are they planning?" Shepard asked.

"I don't know, that wasn't my job," Varcus said.

"Then what is your job?" Shepard asked.

"To get you, and to recruit," Varcus said.

"How many have you recruited?" asked Garrus.

"About seven-hundred in the last year or so," Varcus said.

"Spirits," Garrus said.

The room fell silent as Shepard paced the floor waiting for the Councilors to arrive. A few minutes later, the door opened and Marcedus poked his head inside.

"The Councilors are here," he said.

Shepard stepped out and closed the door behind her. Sparatus and Anderson waited by Bailey's desk. Anderson looked curious, but Sparatus just looked pissed. Probably because she had the audacity to call him away from whatever he was doing at the time.

"Bailey, I need another room to speak to the Councilors in private," Shepard said.

Bailey pointed towards another door and the Councilors followed Shepard into the room. As soon as the door was closed, Sparatus started in on her.

"Shepard, you do not have the authority to summon us at your whim. What is the meaning of this? I was in the middle of business that far exceeds your usefulness to this Council," Sparatus said.

 _"_ _Bingo,"_ Jane said.

"There's a turian in the next room who says he's a part of a group called The Dissension," Shepard said.

Sparatus' brow plating twitched and his mandibles fluttered once before he forced them still.

"You've heard of them?" Shepard asked.

"There have been… whispers," Sparatus said.

 _"_ _You've got to be kidding?"_ Jane said.

"What is The Dissension?" Anderson asked looking between Sparatus – who now no longer met Shepard's gaze – and Shepard.

"A group of turians who want to make war with humans," Shepard said.

"Why am I just hearing about this? Do the other Councilors know?" Anderson asked turning to face Sparatus fully.

"Because it's irrelevant, they're nothing to be concerned with. I haven't addressed the matter with anyone on the Council because it's one insignificant group who hasn't taken any serious actions," Sparatus said.

"That isn't your call to make, Sparatus. You should have brought this to the Council!" Anderson said, his hands balling into fists.

Shepard stepped forward and put a hand on Anderson's arm urging him to calm down. Anderson pulled away from Shepard and walked a few feet away to pace the back wall of the room.

"I think it's bigger than you realize, Councilor. He's talked about there being enough to start a Second Contact War and they had active plans to purchase me at an auction the warden of Purgatory was planning," Shepard said.

"Auction? Purchase you? What in the name of the Spirits are you on about?" Sparatus asked.

"I was recruiting someone on a privately owned prison ship called Purgatory, when the warden attempted to capture me. He had plans to sell me at an auction. We acquired a list of the names of people who were to participate in the auction," Shepard said. "Among those names was an alias for the turian Garrus tracked down, Latius Varcus. The Dissension believes that I'm important enough to use as leverage against the humans, either to push us out of the Council and galactic politics, or to start a Second Contact War."

"Were you a part of this?" Anderson demanded. "You haven't wanted humanity to be a part of the Council from the start. You were against the idea of humans joining the ranks of the Spectres, and you have fought against Shepard every step of the way!"

"Don't be ridiculous, Anderson. I may not be fond of humans, you're loud and abrasive, demanding – Shepard maybe more than most – but the decision to allow Shepard into the Spectres was a unanimous one and so was opening the Council to humanity," Sparatus said. "I don't have to like her or you to know that you've earned your place… or to be grateful for Shepard's actions in saving not only the lives of the Council but the entire Citadel."

For one very tense moment, Shepard thought that Anderson just might take a swing at Sparatus. She knew it would be disastrous if he did, but she was not going to get in the way again. Anderson spun towards Shepard instead.

"Where is he? I want to see him," Anderson said.

"He's in the next room. Bailey's waiting to slap whatever charges I want him to on the guy. Other than mentioning the list to Bailey to explain why we brought him in, I haven't spoken to anyone about this outside of that room yet. I had him call you as soon as we convinced Varcus to talk," Shepard said.

"Who is 'we'?" Sparatus asked.

"Garrus Vakarian and Grundan Krul were present with me while I interrogated Varcus," Shepard said.

"Vakarian, good. I don't know the other," Sparatus said.

"The batarian?" Anderson asked.

"Batarian? You have a batarian working for you and you're planning on destroying a relay in batarian controlled space? Spirits," Sparatus said.

 _"_ _He's deflecting, don't let him deflect,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah… I haven't talked to him about that yet, so I would appreciate it if you don't bring that up in front of him," Shepard said.

"The situation is your concern, Shepard. I just hope you know what you're getting yourself into," Sparatus said.

"I'll take you to Varcus," Shepard said.

Shepard led them back to the interrogation room where Garrus had returned to his position against the wall. Varcus had his forehead resting on the table, fresh blood glistening on the exposed tips of his broken crest. Sparatus stopped in the doorway, sniffing the air around him, undoubtedly being accosted by the scent of turian blood. Anderson was unfazed, he walked over to the table and stopped next to the chair Shepard was sitting in earlier. He half turned to look at Shepard when she stopped next to him.

"You do this?" Anderson asked pointing at Varcus' broken crest.

"No sir, I did," Garrus said.

Anderson looked at Garrus and nodded before turning his attention back to Varcus.

"Look at me," Anderson said.

Varcus slowly lifted his head. Shepard winced inwardly at the utter defeat in the turian's eyes. Sparatus moved forward to stand on Anderson's other side.

"Commander, I think it's best that you and your entourage wait outside," Sparatus said.

Shepard hesitated until Anderson nodded his head.

"Yes sir. I'll be right outside if you need me," Shepard said.

 _"_ _That's bullshit, the guy was trying to buy us on an auction, we have a right to be in there,"_ Jane said.

"Agreed, but they sent us out so we're out," Shepard thought.

Grundan Krul opened the door and stepped aside, letting Shepard exit first before following her out next to Garrus. He closed the door behind them and they waited just outside of the door with Reynolds and Marcedus. Davis had returned and was sitting at a desk beyond Bailey's filling out reports. Bailey left his desk to stand with the small group waiting outside of the interrogation room.

"So, guess it's pretty serious huh? Don't think I've ever had to call the Councilors in here before. Heh. Don't think I've ever even seen a Councilor anywhere that wasn't the Presidium. Don't suppose you can tell me what's going on in there?" Bailey asked.

"Sorry, Bailey," Shepard said.

"Eh, don't be. If it's that serious, I'm probably happier not knowing about it," Bailey said. "Coffee while you wait?"

"That'd be fantastic," Shepard said looking at Grundan Krul hopefully

"I'll make it," Grundan Krul nodded before crossing over to where the empty coffee pot sat.

"Today's your lucky day, Bailey. He makes the best damn coffee in the galaxy," Shepard said.

"Oh yeah?" Bailey asked.

"Definitely," Shepard said.

A few minutes later and Shepard was smiling as Bailey moaned over the mug of coffee in his hands. She blew across the scalding hot surface of hers before taking a sip and making the same sound. This was even better, fresher than the grounds they had on the Normandy. Twenty minutes later the door to the interrogation room opened and everyone turned to watch Anderson and Sparatus walk out. Anderson opened his omni-tool and beckoned to Bailey.

"I've got a list of names I need you to run, you find any of them and I want you to bring them in and call us for questioning," Anderson said. "Presumed armed and dangerous."

Bailey opened his omni-tool and looked over the list Anderson forwarded to him and said, "I'll get on it right away, sir."

"And place Mr. Varcus under formal arrest for treason. He isn't to have contact with anyone outside of the Council and a Council appointed attorney until we arrange for extradition," Sparatus said. "And… it might be best to avoid having your turian officers be left alone with him."

"Yes, sir. Reynolds, Davis, get him moved to a cell and I want 24-7 guards stationed outside of his cell," Bailey said.

"Yes, sir," Davis said leaving her desk to join Reynolds.

"Shepard, thank you for bringing this matter to our immediate attention. We've got to meet with the other Councilors. We'll take things from here," Anderson said.

"Of course, sir," Shepard said.

Anderson and Sparatus walked out of C-Sec as Varcus was being led from the interrogation room. Shepard shook Bailey's hand and thanked him for his cooperation before they left C-Sec as well.

"So, how about we actually go get something to eat? I'm thinking we can go to one of the other dextro-friendly locations?" Shepard asked.

"I'll head back to the Normandy," Grundan Krul said.

"Actually, I was hoping you'd join us. I have something I need to talk to you about," Shepard said.

Grundan Krul studied her with expressionless eyes before nodding once.


	40. Chapter 17: I'm Not Sorry

**Chapter 17: I'm Not Sorry**

Shepard's head hurt. It really, really hurt. So did her arm, come to think of it. She heard herself groan before she realized it was her own voice making the noise. She was moving… being carried by someone. Panic started to bubble up in her chest as she fought to open her eyes and found that she couldn't. Frantic, she started to struggle, putting her hands against the chest of whoever had her and tried to push herself up. Pain lanced through her right shoulder but she ignored it.

"Be still, Shepard. You are injured," a hushed voice said.

That voice. She knew that voice. Whose voice was it? She felt relief with that voice, and then just a touch of fear. Shepard pushed again and the movement stopped.

"Shepard, you must be still and quiet, there are others still looking for us," the voice said again.

Thane. The voice belonged to Thane. Why was Thane carrying her? Where were they?

"Thane?" Shepard whispered her eyes finally starting to cooperate.

Her eyelids fluttered once, twice, three times but her vision was blurry and wherever they were it was dark. She could just make out the silhouette of Thane's head and chest. He chuckled lightly when she said his name.

"Yes, now be still, you are not light in this armor," Thane said.

"What are you doing? Put me down," Shepard said.

"No, you are not ready to walk on your own," he said.

"What happened?" Shepard asked.

He paused and she could see him looking down at her but it was too dark for her to make out the expression on his face. The movement started again, ratcheting the throbbing in her head up to a whole new level, making her rather glad he wasn't going to put her down just yet. She moved her hand to her shoulder and her finger found two holes ripped in her armor.

"You were attacked by a group of turians. They are now dead and you are not, that is all that matters right now," Thane said.

"Then who is following us?" Shepard asked.

Thane sighed and said, "More turians."

"Jane? Jane what happened?" Shepard thought.

Jane was silent.

Shepard tried to remember what happened, the attack and how she ended up being spirited away by the drell assassin but she was coming up blank. She replayed what she could remember instead; maybe it would jog something loose.

Varcus. She remembered Varcus and his talk of The Dissension. Was that what this attack was about? She remembered calling in Anderson and Sparatus. She remembered leaving C-Sec and having a dinner with Garrus and Grundan Krul. She remembered telling Grundan Krul about the plan to destroy the Alpha Relay, and evacuating the Bahak System. She swore that she was doing everything that she could to protect batarian lives. He didn't have much to say about that matter, and it struck Shepard as very odd, even for him. He only asked why it was necessary, and what she needed him to do. She remembered being worried about his silence, worried what he might be thinking and whether he was going to end up being a problem later.

 _"_ _Jane?"_ Shepard thought.

She remembered telling Garrus and Grundan Krul about the Council's decision to place trained representatives on the Normandy for the Bahak mission. She remembered teasing Garrus about how pleased he sounded at the prospect of spending time with Altiria Eraslius and him teasing her right back about James being her teacher's pet. She remembered getting the message from Mordin just as they were leaving the restaurant. Garrus said he would talk to Grundan Krul and the two of them returned to the Normandy while she went to meet Mordin.

 _"_ _Jane, gods damn it, answer me!"_ Shepard thought.

Mordin. Gods, how had she forgotten about the video with Jane proclaiming that Mordin had to die to cure the genophage. She remembered being so angry with herself and trying desperately to explain it to Mordin, but him not wanting to hear her explanation. He just kept saying that he understood, she didn't need to explain. He knew what needed to be done. Mordin had walked away from her, leaving her holding the laptop under her arm and the OSD tucked away between her shoulder and her armor.

"Fuck!" Shepard said.

"Shhh," Thane warned.

"Thane put me down, put me down. I have to see if it's still there," Shepard pleaded trying to pull off her gauntlet.

Thane stopped and put Shepard down, leaning her against a wall. Pain ripped through her left thigh when she put her full weight down. She swooned with the wave of dizziness that washed over her and for a moment thought she might be sick. Concussion, she thought. Definitely not her first, and most likely not her last. She fumbled with her gauntlets, swaying on her feet. Thane gently pushed her back against the wall and took over the task for her. As soon as her hands were free, Shepard was digging around under the rim of her armor. Her right arm wasn't moving up as high as she liked so she had to switch to using her left hand, which was difficult to get at the right angle under her armor to search but finally she managed. She breathed a sigh of relief when her fingers found the OSD.

"Oh thank gods," Shepard whispered.

"We should keep moving. Are you able to walk on your own?" Thane asked.

"I… yeah, just give me a minute," Shepard said opening her omni-tool.

She frowned when she found all of her Medi-gel was already gone.

"Where's my helmet, we can radio the Normandy. If we're being pursued we can have back up here in a matter of minutes," Shepard said.

"You weren't wearing it when I found you," Thane said.

 _"_ _Jane what the hell happened?"_ Shepard thought.

Shepard frowned and looked at her omni-tool, the icon for messages flashed irritatingly at her. She touched the icon and the screen popped up with three unread messages from Garrus, two from James, and fourteen from EDI. Shepard touched Garrus' name and then hit the command to call his omni-tool.

"Spirits! Shepard, where the hell are you? Why haven't you been responding?" Garrus demanded the moment he answered the call.

"I don't know, but I think we're going to need back up," Shepard said.

"Where?" Garrus asked again.

Shepard looked to Thane, his face now softly illuminated by the glow of her omni-tool. He gestured towards her omni-tool and she nodded, turning her arm so that Garrus could see Thane as well. Garrus' mandibles closed in around his face when he saw the drell.

"We are in the Factory District of the Zachera Ward. Shepard was attacked by at least thirty armed turians, more are in pursuit. She was knocked unconscious, I believe she may have a concussion and she's been shot," Thane said in a hushed tone.

"Probably," Shepard said.

"Was it The Dissension?" Garrus asked already on the move.

"I don't know. I can't remember. Last thing I remember is watching Mordin walk away," Shepard said.

"Spirits, Shepard, that was three hours ago. We've been trying to find you for the last two hours after Vega and the others arrived. They said you messaged them and told them to meet you at the Normandy within the hour but you never showed up," Garrus said. "Miranda is convinced that the Illusive Man had you abducted and Vega went to report your absence to Anderson. Half the Council thinks you're AWOL the other half thinks you've been captured. They've got C-Sec scouring the Citadel looking for you."

Garrus was at the Normandy's airlock and half of the team was already gathered behind him including the Council Four.

"This isn't a part of your mission, Vega," Garrus said.

"Doesn't matter, I'm going," James said checking his thermal clips.

"We are under Commander Shepard's command until the Council relieves us," Altiria said. "It is our duty to provide her with the backup she has requested."

"Shepard?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah, if they're volunteering. I don't know how many are out there and I'm out of Medi-gel," Shepard said.

"I must move her, we've waited here too long," Thane said.

"Alright, we're on our way," Garrus said cutting the call.

Shepard closed her omni-tool and slid her gauntlets back on her blood slickened hand. She pushed away from the wall and swayed again. Thane slid his hand under her arm and she held out a hand.

"I'm good, really. I just need to move slow if we can," she said.

"Very well," Thane said before crouching down and creeping forward.

 _"_ _Jane damn it you'd better start talking. This had better not be one of your gods damn fits,"_ Shepard thought.

Shepard's eyes had adjusted enough that she was able to make out the shipping containers stacked up around them, casting shadows over the area and keeping the dim strips of lights half way down the walls from reaching them. Shepard could hear movement echoing off the containers and warehouse walls, she listened carefully, tracing the sounds to the far end of the warehouse as she crouched and followed Thane. She could never be as quiet as him, at least not in full armor but she did her best and hoped that those pursuing her were making more than enough noise to cover her own.

They moved from shipping container to shipping container. Shepard pulled out her pistol and checked the thermal clip before moving to the next container. She heard a shot fired and ducked back into cover, pressing her back to the container and biting off a curse as pain lanced through her thigh. Thane was at the other end a shadow among shadows. Another shot fired and Shepard heard it hit the container she just left. They were trying to flush her out. She was bleeding they should be able to smell her, she thought. Maybe they were just being cautious, didn't want to get too close to her until they could see her. She glanced back to where Thane was and couldn't make out his form among the shadows anymore. Her eyes trailed up the side of the container and she caught the faintest movement at the top.

Shepard peered around the edge of the container and could see forms moving her way. She counted five based on the breaks in the lighting runners along the wall. She raised her pistol and waited a moment before peering out again. They had split up and one of them was heading right towards her. She waited, hoping to not give her exact position away until the last possible moment. The turian stopped to peer down between two other containers before moving forward again. Shepard pulled away from the edge so he wouldn't see her. A few seconds later she heard a soft thump and peered around again. The turian lay dead on the ground, left in the aisle. Thane was nowhere to be seen.

A minute and two more random shots fired later and Thane appeared in front of Shepard sliding a hand over her mouth before she could gasp or scream from being startled. He moved his hand to her arm and guided her back the way they came. They made it down three more shipping containers when the overhead lights suddenly came on. Shepard winced and stumbled as her concussed brain revolted at the sudden onslaught of light.

"There, she's over there!" someone yelled.

"Shit," Shepard said trying to force her eyes to focus as she dove for the next shipping container.

The turian who spotted her wasted no time raining shots down on her location. She waited for a pause in the sparks flying from the shower of bullets hitting the container before returning fire. Her aim was leaving something to be desired in her current state; both shots barely grazed her target. Shepard ducked back behind the container and switched to something that required less precision. She pulled out her assault rifle and checked the thermal clip before activating her Incendiary Ammo. When the gunfire halted once more, she could hear the echoing sounds of people running to move in on her location. She glanced around and swore under her breath when Thane was nowhere to be seen once more.

Shepard moved as quietly and as quickly as she could down to the opposite end of the shipping container before peering around the edge. The coast was clear so she rounded the corner and crept down to the next edge. The asshole that had been firing at her was now lying dead in the aisle. She peered in all directions before cutting across the aisle diagonally to the next row of containers. She was trying to make her way back closer to where her crew would be coming in at and she could only hope she was headed in the right direction and not putting more distance between them and herself.

 _"_ _Jane… please,"_ Shepard thought.

She continued to edge forward, moving from container to container and cutting across aisles drastically altering where the turians last spotted her at. Her head was throbbing and the bright lights were causing spots to dance before her eyes. Her shoulder and thigh weren't feeling much better. She didn't know how much blood she had already lost but she could feel the warm fluid pooled in her boot and making her under armor stick and pull at her skin around her chest and sides when she twisted at the waist. Shepard stopped and pressed her back to a shipping container, taking in slow, deep breaths.

"I AM KROGAN!" Grunt's voice echoed off the walls.

"Hello, dead people!" Jack's voice came in the wake of Grunt's cry.

They were the most beautiful sounds in the world. Their voices were followed by the sounds of battle, a battle that she now knew she wouldn't lose. If she could just make herself move again. The lights seemed like they were getting brighter and the room started to spin. Shepard squeezed her eyes closed again and resumed her deep breathing. She refused to pass out. Gentle hands cradled her head and her eyes flew open. Thane's face swam before her eyes, he was frowning but for some reason she just couldn't figure out why. He was covered in blood, so much blood. She didn't know he had been hurt. Shepard's vision tilted until she was looking at the ceiling, only then did she realize he had picked her up again.

She closed her eyes and tried to focus on her breathing but found herself focusing on his breathing instead. Carrying her extra weight was taxing him; she could hear the faintest wheeze from his chest when the sounds of gunfire and people screaming in agony paused long enough for her to pick up on the sound.

"Please don't die this time," Shepard muttered.

Thane looked down at her before she passed out.

"Shepard. Shepard. Need to wake up," Mordin's voice cut through the fog.

A bright light shone in her eyes and she pulled her head away from the source, sending a shooting pain through her shoulder and setting her head on fire.

"Not good. Pupillary response indicates concussion. Significant blood loss. No exit wounds. Apply Medi-gel now, remove bullets and debris later," Mordin said.

"Why are you even talking about it? Just do it already!" Garrus said.

Shepard tried to turn her head to find him but Mordin tightened his grip on her chin.

"Stay still. Skull may not have been sufficiently healed from surgery. Impact location unknown, might have broken still mending bone," Mordin said.

Shepard groaned and let her eyes flutter closed once more.

 _"_ _Jane?"_ Shepard thought.

"I checked there first when I found her, there was a slight give," Thane said from somewhere to her left.

Mordin made a tsking sound before saying, "Helmet would have prevented this."

"I don't know where it's at," Shepard said.

"Clearly not where it should be," Mordin said before she felt the cool flooding of Medi-gel through her suits release.

 **"** Thane's hurt, too," Shepard muttered.

"It's your blood, Shepard. And turian," Garrus said. "What the hell were you even doing? How'd you know where she was?"

"It was chance," Thane said.

"Right," Garrus said after a spurt of fire from his assault rifle.

"I was returning to the Normandy when I saw a trail of turian blood. I followed the trail, and found Shepard unconscious and surrounded by dead turians. Others were coming; I picked her up and carried her away. I was cutting through here when she awoke again," Thane said.

Mordin shone the light in her eyes again and Shepard let loose a string of expletives.

"Get that gods damn thing out of my face, Mordin before I shove it up your cloaca," Shepard said.

Garrus laughed as Mordin sniffed with indignation and turned the light off.

"Need to monitor pupillary response," Mordin said.

"It would be less painful if you used an icepick right now," Shepard said.

Mordin opened his omni-tool and began scanning Shepard's head.

"Excess pressure in the skull. Implants should be preventing that," Mordin said before speaking into his mic. "Miranda, need you here."

Shepard couldn't hear Miranda's response but Mordin didn't seem to accept whatever she said.

"Fluid retention in Shepard's skull. Faulty implants. Could just drill hole to release pressure," Mordin said.

Shepard's eyes widened and her hands clenched into a fist. She was even more concerned that not even that elicited a response from Jane. Surely she should be rambling about drilling and scraping.

"Not happening, Mordin," Garrus growled.

"No need. Miranda's on her way," Mordin said.

They sat in silence while they waited. Shepard kept her eyes on Mordin, he watched her with the clinical scrutiny of a doctor until she mouthed the words 'I'm sorry'. His eyes softened and he gave her a reassuring smile.

"Don't be," Mordin said before turning his gaze past Shepard. "Ah! Miranda, good you're here."

Miranda knelt down in front of Shepard and opened her omni-tool performing her own scans.

"Damn it," Miranda said. "It's alright, Shepard. I can fix this."

She did something with her omni-tool before gently pulling Shepard forward by the good shoulder and cupping the back of Shepard's head. Shepard knew the exact moment Miranda felt the scar at the back of her head and realized what it meant. Miranda's jaw dropped open and a look of confusion followed by panic brushed over her eyes. Miranda wasn't one to let any emotion show that she didn't want to be seen, so the look was gone as fast as it arrived. She tore her eyes away from Shepard's and focused on what she was doing. With her hand on Shepard's head she touched her omni-tool again and Shepard felt a jolt of electricity rip through her body.

"Son-of-a-bitch," Shepard yelled through clenched teeth.

"Just a second more… there," Miranda said pulling her hand away.

"What the fuck was that? I swear the two of you are torturing me," Shepard said reaching for her head only to have Mordin slap her hand away.

"Recalibration… I'm… I'm sorry," Miranda said.

Shepard knew that she wasn't talking about the electrical jolt. Miranda was on her feet again, pistol out and biotics flaring as she moved back towards the sounds of battle. Within seconds Shepard could feel the pressure in her skull receding and with it some of the pain. She blinked her eyes a few times as everything around her seemed to dim. Mordin clicked his penlight on again and when Shepard didn't through a fit, he shone it into each of her eyes.

"Better, but best you stay still for now," Mordin said before he too was on his feet and drawing his pistol.

"I wanna shoot the bad guys, too," Shepard grumbled under her breath.

"Spirits, woman, you killed thirty of them by yourself by the sound of things," Garrus said. "Just listen to Mordin and stay down."

"Fine," Shepard said. "Oh look, Bailey's here."

Shepard watched as the area behind her team flooded with C-Sec. Guns turned towards her team and Bailey signaled them to hold fire. He spotted Shepard sitting propped against the low metal wall and made a beeline for her moving from cover to cover. Bailey crouched down in front of her, his fingertips spread against the floor.

"Shepard, Christ, what happened to you?" Bailey asked.

"Don't know, concussion," Shepard said pointing to her head.

"There must be at least twenty-five dead turians piled up outside and God knows how many more in here! Is this related to Varcus? Because I've got some bad news, Varcus is dead. Marcedus is MIA. I don't know if it's connected or not, but it looks like someone shot Varcus right in his cell and killed the two guards that were watching him," Bailey said.

"You're kidding?" Garrus asked.

Bailey looked up at Garrus and said, "I wish I was. The Council is pissed. I get the call from them that you're missing just as I'm standing over Varcus' corpse. Now I've got them breathing down my neck and half of C-Sec looking for her, the other half looking for Marcedus."

The sounds of battle were ebbing and C-Sec officers were spreading out to secure the area. A few minutes later and the gunfire had ceased completely. Bailey helped her to her feet as Shepard carefully tested her tolerance for being upright. The last thing she wanted to do was pass out again. The pain was still there but she wasn't feeling any nausea or vertigo so it was a win in her book. She looked around and saw the Council Four moving to her location, each pushing a captured turian in front of them with the barrels of their guns. Jack came sauntering back from behind the shipping containers a smug smile on her face. A few seconds later and Grunt came from the other direction smeared in turian blood. Samara wasn't far behind him. Soon they were all gathered back at Shepard's location and C-Sec was left collecting bodies.

Garrus slipped an arm around her waist and started leading her towards the exit. Bailey moved to Shepard's other side and offered her his arm in support. She smiled and accepted the arm; shoving her pride down she let herself be grateful for the aid. Bailey motioned to a handful of officers who jogged over to take charge of the prisoners taken by the Council Four.

When they got back out of the Factory District and Shepard saw the massacre waiting outside all marked off with police tape she stopped in her tracks. Garrus looked down at her with worry but she just held up a finger and let her eyes roam over the corpses. She limped away from him and Bailey and hesitated over a pile of five or so corpses before she started pulling at the bodies.

"Shepard, what are you doing?" Garrus asked.

Shepard grunted in response as she tugged at the corpses. Garrus came over to help her until she saw what she was looking for. She grabbed ahold of her helmet and wriggled it free of the bodies. It dripped with blue blood. Jack stopped next to Shepard and held her hand out.

"Let me see it," she said.

Shepard handed her the helmet and Jack created a thin layer of biotic energy around her hand before running it slowly over the surface of the helmet. The blood sluiced off as the biotic energy acted like a squeegee over the smooth surface. Jack handed the mostly clean helmet back to Shepard with a smirk.

"Neat trick I learned to get blood off my car, when I had one," Jack said.

"Do I even want to know why your car was covered in blood?" Shepard asked.

"Probably not, Alliance," Jack said.

"Well, thanks," Shepard said tucking the helmet under her arm.

"You remember this now?" Garrus asked waving a hand around.

"Not really... just bits," Shepard said.

"Will come back to you," Mordin said.

"When it does, it would sure help get my ass out of trouble with the Council if you could fill us in," Bailey said.

"Sure thing, Bailey. I'll fill out a report as soon as I'm patched up and I've been allowed to sleep," Shepard said.

"Thanks, Commander. I better get back in there. Hey, try to make it back to the Normandy without any more fights, will ya? I'd like to get some sleep tonight myself," Bailey said.

Shepard chuckled and immediately followed it up with a groan.

"Sure thing, thanks again, Bailey," Shepard said.

Shepard made her way back to the Normandy surrounded on all sides by her crew. She wasn't surprised to find that James had managed to take up the position to her left and wrapped his arm above Garrus' across her lower back. At some point she wasn't doing much walking, they were barely letting her feet touch the floor. They got her back on the ship and took her straight to Dr. Chakwas who had already prepped the med bay and was waiting for her with a hospital gown.

"Shepard!" Lia said exiting the AI Core with Legion. "Keelah, we were so worried."

"Shepard-Commander, you have been injured," Legion said as his optics expanded and contracted.

"It's alright guys, I'm going to be fine. I've had worse, trust me," Shepard said taking the gown from Dr. Chakwas.

Garrus helped her out of her armor while the others left the room. She hissed when he gently pulled the fabric of her under armor away from her wounded shoulder. The bleeding had finally stopped with Mordin's Medi-gel application but it had dried, fusing the fabric to the wounds. Blood began to trickle down her chest as the fabric pulled away the clotted blood. Dr. Chakwas was there with clean gauze and antiseptic wash. She began cleaning the wound and staunching the bleeding until Shepard was stripped down and sitting on her table with the gown draped over the other shoulder. Her thigh was a mess, skin and muscles torn to ribbons with what looked like pieces of metal and cement embedded under the skin.

"I can't hear Jane," Shepard said.

"Maybe she's in shock?" Garrus offered.

"We'll worry about Jane later, we need to take care of you now," Dr. Chakwas said.

Garrus held on to her hand as Dr. Chakwas began digging around in her shoulder wounds. Shepard hissed through clenched teeth and closed her eyes. When the doctor was done she cleaned the wounds out making it feel like she was driving a hot poker into Shepard's shoulder. Finally she slathered it with Medi-gel and covered it with a bandage before repeating the process on her thigh, which Shepard was displeased to find, was not any less painful. She listened to the sound of tiny fragments of shrapnel being dropped into a metal pan and tried to keep her breathing even. Dr. Chakwas took off her gloves and threw them in the pan with the bullets and shrapnel before running scans on Shepard's head.

"Definitely fractured. Looks like the pressure is normalizing. You're going to have one hell of a headache for a couple of days at least, but with your implants you should be back on your feet in no time," Dr. Chakwas said.

"I need to be back on my feet tomorrow," Shepard said.

"Commander, this isn't going to heal that quickly, and not even your stubbornness is going to make that happen," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Doesn't matter, there are big things happening doc, and lives counting on me to do what needs to be done," Shepard said.

"Why do I even bother?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"Because you know without you I'd be dead for sure," Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas smiled and patted Shepard's uninjured leg before telling Garrus, "You can take her upstairs and get her cleaned up. See if you can convince her to at least stay in bed for the night. Give her two of these that should do the trick."

Dr. Chakwas handed Garrus a bottle and he turned it over in his fingers reading the label and nodding. He slid his arm around Shepard and helped her down off of the table. When they made it to the med bay door it opened up to show James lingering around outside. He grinned when he saw Shepard in the hospital gown and moved to her other side.

"I can walk on my own," Shepard said.

"And I can carry you if you don't let us help," Garrus said.

"Fine," Shepard said with a sigh.

James slid his arm around Shepard and asked, "Where to?"

Garrus nodded towards the elevator and said, "Top deck."

They got her up to her cabin and Garrus opened the bathroom door. James let go of Shepard and Garrus maneuvered her into the room and started the shower leaving her sitting on the toilet.

"We gonna give her a shower?" James asked.

" _He's_ going to give me a shower," Shepard said.

"What I did all that heavy lifting and don't get to help? Ah, c'mon," James said.

Shepard chuckled. Garrus handed James the bottle of pills and said.

"Convince her to take two of these without her biting off your fingers and I'll let you help get her undressed," Garrus said.

"I will shoot you both," Shepard said.

James shrugged and said, "How? You have a piece hidden under that gown; because I got to say Ídolo it might be worth it to see you draw a gun from under there."

Shepard snorted while James filled up the glass sitting on the sink and sat it next to her before opening the bottle and dumping two of them into his palm. He looked at the label again before twisting the cap back on.

"Hey, c'mon, Ídolo. The doc gave you the good stuff. You won't feel anything soon," James said holding his hand out to Shepard.

She scoffed but took the pills from him. Shepard threw the pills into the back of her throat and chased them with the glass of water.

"If only that were true, James," Shepard said.

"A dose like that for a little thing like you? You'll be fine," James said.

"The Cerberus implants altered the effectiveness of chemicals on her. The good side, it's harder to poison her, the down side it's harder for her to poison herself. She can barely get drunk and painkillers aren't as effective," Garrus said helping Shepard to her feet.

"Damn… well… yeah, I got nothing," James said shrugging again. "I'll get out of here. If you need anything let me know."

"Thanks James," Shepard said.

"De nada," James said and left the cabin.

"Why does my translator lag so much when he talks?" Garrus asked helping Shepard out of her gown.

"He switches between two different languages a lot. Mixes them together," Shepard said.

"Ah. Alright, you can't get right under the water so I'm going to lean you against this wall and get in with you," Garrus said.

"Mmmmm. Sounds good to me," Shepard said with a grin.

"Yeah, that's not going to happen," Garrus said and chuffed when she stuck out her lip in a pout.

Garrus got Shepard cleaned up in the shower but despite his best efforts he wasn't able to keep the bandages dry and had to replace them when she was out again. The painkillers were starting to kick in as he helped her into bed and crawled in next to her. Shepard looked over at the terrarium light and realized that sand and little stone caves had been put in while she was gone.

"Oh is my snake here?" Shepard asked.

Garrus glanced at the tank as he pulled the covers up over them and said, "I don't know, Shepard. Get some sleep. We'll check in the morning."

Garrus stretched out against her side and wrapped his arm around her before draping one of his legs over her shins. Shepard's eyebrows twitched even as her eyes fell closed.

"Are you pinning me to the bed, Vakarian?" Shepard asked.

"Shhh, get some sleep," Garrus said.

And so she did, but it was not peaceful. The dreams came too soon.

Shepard was walking back towards C-Sec carrying the laptop tucked under one arm. The Citadel had quieted, at least the Zakera Wards as most people returned to their homes with the Citadel cycled to its 'night' mode. Automatic lights throughout the Citadel had dimmed and most businesses had closed down.

She stopped in her tracks when she heard a gun fire, her head snapped up and her eyes scanned the area even as she drew her pistol. A turian raced around the corner, leaving C-Sec with a pistol in his hand. He turned his head in her direction, his eyes meeting hers for a heartbeat before he bolted in the other direction. Shepard tossed the laptop into the dirt of the nearest planter as she took off after the turian. She didn't get but a few steps when the C-Sec officer from earlier, Marcedus raced out of C-Sec in pursuit. He paused long enough to evaluate Shepard's charging form as friend and not foe before running after the other turian.

They moved faster than Shepard and they had a head start on her. She pumped her legs harder trying to catch up. The turian disappeared around a corner and a couple of seconds later Marcedus was gone from her sight as well. Shepard heard three gunshots ring out and pushed herself even harder. Her heart was pounding against her ribcage and her chest was heaving, sucking at the air desperately trying to pull in enough oxygen to accommodate the sudden burst of adrenaline and cardio.

She slowed to a stop to press her back to the corner of the wall and peered around. She recognized the area; they were just outside of the Factory District. Marcedus was lying on the ground surrounded by a rapidly growing pool of blood. Shepard didn't see the turian he was pursuing anywhere. She slowly edged around the corner and crept towards Marcedus. She crouched down to try to feel for a pulse when she realized she wasn't even sure if she would find it in the same location as she would a human. Shepard cursed herself, how could she be in love with a turian and not even know how to check his pulse.

She stood up and moved down the wall to the next corner and looked in all directions. She strained to hear the sound of feet running or anything but all she could hear was her own heart pushing blood through her body. Shepard moved back down to Marcedus and tried to get a response out of him. There was too much blood for her to see where he was hit and she couldn't get him to open his eyes. She wasn't sure if his chest was moving or not, the lighting was dim enough to play tricks on her eyes. Shepard glanced around again and took off her helmet before moving her head to put her ear closer to the turian's face.

He was still breathing. Shepard opened her omni-tool and loaded up her Medi-gel. She had three applications left and cursed herself for forgetting to refill on the Normandy again. She slid the cartridge into Marcedus suit and hacked herself into the suits release before activating the Medi-gel. The bleeding slowed but he was still unconscious, she closed the app and started to place a call to C-Sec to report an officer down when something hard slammed into the back of her head. Shepard's arms flailed and she tried to brace herself but felt herself falling forward onto Marcedus. Jane was raging, pushing in Shepard's mind as she lost consciousness.

And then… and then her eyes were opening again and she was pulling herself to her feet but something was off about it. She felt removed from the action somehow, like it wasn't her making the movements.

 _"_ _No! Jane, no! What are you doing? Don't do this!"_ Dawn yelled.

"I'm saving us, Dawn," Jane thought.

Dawn yelled and pushed, trying to force herself back into the position of control but found the effort completely futile. Then she heard the whispering. The insane sounds surrounding her just out of sight. _Who's there?_ Dawn asked. **_We are. We are here. All of us._** The voice was masculine and somehow more solid than the others. **_She's in here? She's in here with us but she hasn't died yet. How can she be in here with us?_** A feminine voice asked. **_Can't be here, can't be. Doesn't work that way._** Still another voice insisted. **_Jane is gone! Jane is out there but we're still in here._** Dawn was having trouble telling how many different people were speaking. She tried to turn her head to follow the sounds but even in her own mind she didn't have that control.

 _"_ _Jane! Jane let me out of here,"_ Dawn yelled.

"A little busy here, Dawn!" Jane thought.

Dawn watched in horror as she was surrounded by turians creeping out of the shadows and moving in on her. Biotics flared up around her but she couldn't feel them, couldn't control them. Her head throbbed somewhere in the distance. Dawn watched as her hand flew out and a Shockwave slammed into a handful of turians in front of her. **_I want to play. How come Jane gets to play but I can't?!_** One of the other Shepards said. **_Because she figured out how to make it work. I don't know how she did it, but you can bet your ass I'm taking a turn next._** One of the masculine voices said, this one sounded harsher, his tone almost cruel. _No, no one else is taking a turn. This is my body gods damn it!_ _ **Doesn't look like you get to make that call anymore, Commander.**_ Another female Shepard responded.

The turians were piling up around her but she was taking hits. Jane circled around, getting into a position of at least partial cover before activating the Medi-gel release. _Oh gods. Gods. Jane let me out of here!_ _ **You killed Liara.**_ A feminine voice said. _What?_ _ **You. Killed. Liara.**_ Vehemence seethed in the other voice. _That wasn't supposed to happen._ _ **Damn right it wasn't supposed to happen but you fucked up and now Liara is dead! Dead, Dawn. She doesn't get to come back; she doesn't get to live again. She was the love of my life and you fucking killed her!**_ The voice yelled at her, almost seeming to echo off the inside of her skull and rattle at Dawn's teeth. **_She was my love, my lovely blue lady._** Another voice trilled gleefully. **_No, she was mine! She was mine first. Don't touch her!_** More and more voices were pushing forward. Dawn was starting to feel frantic.

There were just a few turians left but Jane had already used the last of the Medi-gel and her shields where down.

"Damn it," Jane said.

"Come out, Shepard. This doesn't have to end with your death, but it is one way to get the job done," a turian called out to her.

"Fuck you, asshole," Jane said before popping out of cover and firing her pistol.

The shot tore through the turian's civilian clothes. Jane couldn't believe the idiots were coming after her without proper gear. Didn't they know who the hell she was? The turian began to panic and slap at his chest as he burst into flames from the Incendiary Ammo. Jane smirked. Gods this felt good. Until the proximity mine she missed on the planter exploded, sending bits of metal and stone tearing through her armor and ripping up her thigh.

"Ahh! Fuck," Jane yelled dropping back into cover.

She activated her Reave and wrapped the offending turian up in the swirling energy, revealing in the sensation as her biotics pulled the life right out of him and pumped it back into her. She stuck her head out long enough to fire off a few more rounds. Grinning as the sound of another body hitting the floor reached her ears. Jane pulled herself up and edged her way to the other end of the planter and peered around.

"All the little ducks lined up in a row," Jane whispered.

One of the turians' head jerked towards the sound of her voice and Jane shot him in the face. He fell back on his ass screaming in agony as blue blood poured out of him, sizzling with the heat of the Incendiary Ammo. The two others stood and ran, firing back at her as they went. Jane returned fire until they ducked behind cover. She waited long seconds in silence waiting for them to show themselves again. When they didn't, she stood and ran the best she could on her injured leg for a better vantage point. They caught her out in the open, firing at her in unison. Her shields dropped again and two bullets slammed into her shoulder just before she made it to cover.

 _"_ _Jane! For the love of gods, let me out of here!"_ Dawn yelled.

"Almost done, just two left," Jane thought.

Jane inched forward, ignoring the sting of her injuries and peered around the corner. The two turians were moving forward, in on her position. Jane smirked and open fired, catching one of them in the chest and the other in the shoulder. They cursed and she ducked back behind the wall. Only one gun returned fire on her position as Jane pulled up her biotics around her preparing for a Charge. She ducked back out of cover and activated the Charge, slamming into the turian she shot in the shoulder and knocking him back on his ass. Jane fired at him twice more as he tried to scramble for the gun he dropped when she hit him. He didn't get very far before he collapsed into a pool of his own blood. She turned and fired at the turian with the chest wound just for good measure.

Jane stood, chest heaving in the middle of the open hall. Nothing but dead turians surrounded her.

"Where the hell is C-Sec? Really? That much noise and no one is coming to see what the hell is going on?" Jane thought.

 _"_ _Jane, gods damn it. Let me out, please, oh gods please let me out,"_ Dawn said.

Jane limped her way back to Marcedus. He was half buried under other dead turian's now. She struggled against the burning and tearing sensation in her left thigh to knell down. Marcedus was still alive so she started to pull him free.

"What's the matter, Dawn? You sound a little upset?" Jane thought.

 _"_ _Fuck you, Jane! Fuck you!"_ Dawn yelled as she pushed her will against Jane's.

"Are they making you feel welcome in there? It's amazing. I can't hear them at all. Finally, silence. Well, except for you," Jane thought.

 _"_ _Jane you can't do this, the others will know,"_ Dawn insisted.

"Relax, Dawn. I'm going to let you back out… eventually," Jane thought. "Right after I take care of a few things."

 _"_ _What things? What are you talking about? Jane. Jane answer me. What are you talking about?"_ Dawn demanded.

"Oh, I don't know. I think it's time Miranda and I have a talk about those control chips. Maybe I'll have a little talk with Mordin about his little experiment while I'm at it, too. And Thane. Well, he'll have to know that if he ever threatens me again, I'll hand him his nuts on a platter. It's funny that, now that I'm out here and you're in there, I don't feel much of anything for the assassin really," Jane thought.

Jane heard something. Her eyes scanned across the area trying to find the source of the sound. Dawn raged away inside of her and Jane grinned at the sensation. Damn it was good being in control for a change. She pushed herself back to her feet and started to towards the sound but found that her legs didn't want to move for her so well. She felt tired and weak; it felt like she had lead weights strapped to her legs and was trying to walk under water. Just like she was back in N7 training again.

"No…," Jane said before she collapsed.

Shepard's eyes flew open and darted across the room, taking in the soft glow of the terrarium and Garrus sitting on the couch across the room working on a laptop. Her head was pounding and she was sore all over.

"Shepard?" Garrus said standing up and crossing over to her.

"Thank the gods. Ow. Ow. Ow," Shepard said as she threw the covers off of her and sat up.

"You fucking bitch," Shepard thought.

There was still no response from Jane.

"Hey, take it slow. Why don't you get some more sleep, it's still night cycle," Garrus said.

"My head is killing me and I need to use the restroom," Shepard said.

"Alright, let me help you," Garrus said sliding a hand under her arm.

Shepard let him help her to the bathroom where she relieved herself and splashed cold water on her face. When she came out again he handed her a glass of water and two more painkillers. He waited while she swallowed them before leading her back to the bed.

"Why are you still up?" Shepard asked.

"I can't sleep. Doing some research on The Dissension," Garrus said.

"Find anything?" Shepard asked.

His mandibles flared and he shook his head.

"Will you lay down with me until I get back to sleep?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, of course," Garrus said moving to the other side of the bed and pushing the pillows around to get comfortable.

Shepard carefully rolled over enough that she could rest her head in the crook of his arm without putting too much pressure on her shoulder. She pressed her lips against the warm metal plating of his chest and he gave her a contented hum. She closed her eyes and let the sounds of Garrus' breathing carry her back off to sleep.

 _"_ _I'm not sorry,"_ Jane said just before Shepard slipped into oblivion.


	41. Chapter 18: Mr Manners

**Chapter 18: Mr. Manners**

The next morning Shepard woke to find that Garrus hadn't moved. She was still lying against his chest and he was sound asleep. She still hurt all over and her shoulder was particularly displeased that she had stayed in that position for so long but she could already tell that the implants were doing their job. She carefully moved Garrus arm before clenching her jaw and slowly rolling over. Her shoulder had started bleeding again sometime in the night and soaked through the gauze. Red smudges were left behind on the sheet and on Garrus' chest.

"You're bleeding," Garrus said with closed eyes and a sleepy voice.

"It's not bad, stay in bed I've got it," Shepard said moving to the edge of the bed.

"You sure?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah," Shepard said with a groan as she pushed herself up.

She stood still for a moment just to make sure she was going to make it on her own. Tentatively she shifted her weight to her injured leg and winced at the sharp, but bearable ache. She took slow, hobbling steps towards the bathroom and groaned inwardly when she came to the stairs. Shepard sucked it up and put her hand out to brace herself on the wall before dragging herself up the handful of stairs.

"What the fuck was that?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I saved your life,"_ Jane said.

"You fucking body snatched me, Jane!" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _You were knocked out! I had to do something,"_ Jane said.

"OK, yeah, you got me back on my feet when I couldn't but you _kept_ control long passed what you needed to. That was NOT alright. And then that shit about taking care of a few things, and what, taunting me over the others? The hell was that?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I'm not apologizing. I pray to gods that you're smart enough to put an end to this cycle so that you never have to know what it's like to be trapped in here for so long. What you had last night – that was nothing, barely even a taste of what I've had to endure. So yeah, I had a chance to be free, even for just a little while and I took it and I SAVED YOUR LIFE!"_ Jane said.

Shepard came back out of the bathroom twenty minutes later with clean bandages and minty fresh breath. She hobbled back down the stairs and over to her footlocker. The thought about trying to crouch down in front of it was utterly unappealing so she sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the trunk around to face her instead. She dug out some clean clothes before moving over to the couch to get dressed. She was trying to not wake Garrus back up; he needed the sleep far more than he was willing to admit.

"Never again, Jane. I don't care if it damn well means I die. You do not take over like that again without clearing it with me first and you sure as hell don't refuse to give me back my body when I tell you to!" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Yeah, sure,"_ Jane said after a moment of silence.

"I'm serious, Jane," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I'm aware,"_ Jane said.

Once dressed, Shepard made her way back up the stairs and stopped in front of the terrarium. Kelly had set the tank up nicely, complete with a branch stretching up along the back wall. The thorned serpent had wound itself around the branch and appeared to be asleep. She couldn't really tell since its eyes didn't close but it wasn't moving and didn't seem to be tracking her movement. It was bigger than she thought it would be; the thickest parts of it easily as big as her wrist. She tried to gauge how long it was but with the way it was all wrapped around itself and the branch it was impossible to tell. She'd have to think of a name for it later. Hell, she wasn't even sure if it was a male or female.

Shepard left the cabin and pushed the elevator call button. When the elevator arrived she took it down to the CIC. Kelly turned to the elevator as soon as it opened and smiled warmly at Shepard.

"The Council has requested that you contact them as soon as you are able and Captain Bailey of C-Sec has come by to ask about you," Kelly said.

"Thanks, Kelly," Shepard said.

Shepard moved past the galaxy map and towards the airlock. She stopped in front of the door and waited but EDI didn't open it for her.

"EDI, get the airlock, please?" Shepard said.

"Uhhhh, no," Joker said over the comm.

"Uhhhh, why?" Shepard asked agitation seeping into her voice.

"Anderson told me not to open that door for you unless you had an active guard assigned to escort you. Said people were trying to kidnap you and you're injured. Dr. Chakwas backed up the order so, you're out of luck," Joker said.

"Gods damn it. Who's still onboard?" Shepard asked.

"Ms. Lawson, Mr. Taylor, Mr. Grunt, Legion, Ms. Vael, Justicar Samara, Mr. Grundan Krul, and Mr. Vakarian are still onboard. Biometric scans indicate that Mr. Vakarian is sleeping. Shall I wake him for you?" EDI asked.

"No, don't wake him. Get me Jacob and Grunt," Shepard said leaning against the wall to take the weight off of her leg while she waited.

 _"_ _Good choice,"_ Jane said.

"Shut up, just shut the hell up. I don't want to hear you right now," Shepard thought.

"As you wish, Shepard," EDI said and then a moment later, "Mr. Grunt and Mr. Taylor are on their way."

"Thanks, EDI," Shepard said.

"You're welcome, Shepard. How are you feeling today?" EDI asked.

Shepard blinked and turned to look at EDI's hologram.

"Uh, I've been worse. Thanks for asking, EDI. How um, how are you today?" Shepard asked.

"I am functioning at optimum capacity. Thank you for asking," EDI said.

"Yeeeaaaahhh… she's been talking with Thane this morning," Joker said.

"Ah," Shepard said the conversation easing her tension.

"I am told that Mr. Krios saved your life last night. I found the behavior at odds with that of what is expected of an assassin and the interactions I have witnessed between the two of you aboard the Normandy. I wanted to better understand why he chose to risk himself to save you," EDI said.

"Uh huh. Yeah, I suppose he did. What did you learn?" Shepard asked.

Shepard remembered that she really should be more careful what she said around EDI. Still, it didn't seem that EDI had reported anything she had said to the Illusive Man. Or maybe Shepard was mistaken and EDI still was telling him everything but it was all just too crazy sounding for him to ask her about.

"That just because Mr. Krios takes lives professionally does not mean that he has a complete disregard for life," EDI said.

"Wise lesson. What else did you learn?" Shepard asked as a smile tugged at her lips.

"According to Mr. Krios your life has value, perhaps more than most," EDI said.

"Um, could you repeat that please?" Shepard asked.

"Absolutely. According to Mr. Krios your life has value, perhaps more than most," EDI said again.

Jacob walked up behind Shepard and checked his thermal clip before sliding his pistol back into the holster.

"He said that?" Shepard asked.

"What the hell would give him _that_ idea?" Joker asked.

"He did, but he did not elaborate further when I inquired as to what he meant," EDI said.

"I see. Thanks, EDI," Shepard said.

"You're welcome, Shepard," EDI said.

"EDI is saying you're welcome now?" Jacob asked.

"It seems she's been spending time talking with one of our more etiquettely inclined members," Shepard said.

"Etiquettely? I don't think that's a word, Shepard," Jacob said.

"Sure it is. Isn't it?" Shepard asked.

"Uhhhh, no. Definitely not a word," Joker said.

"EDI?" Shepard asked.

"The word 'etiquette' is an uncountable noun and as such has no other proper variations in usage, however, my databases show that the misuse of the word 'etiquette' as 'etiquettely' has been recorded six-hundred seventy-two thousand two-hundred and thirteen times," EDI said.

"That counts," Shepard said grinning at Jacob.

Jacob chuckled and said, "You're the boss."

The elevator opened and Grunt headed towards Shepard. As soon as he was standing with Shepard and Jacob the airlock opened. Shepard led them out onto the dock before Grunt stopped in front of Shepard blocking her path.

"You're not wearing armor," Grunt said.

"Grunt, I was shot twice last night and a mine exploded right next to my leg," Shepard said.

"Exactly, and we're supposed to guard you, right? Easier to keep you alive if you're wearing armor," Grunt said.

"I can barely walk, Grunt. I can't carry the weight of armor right now. That's why I asked for the krogan," Shepard said with a wink.

"Humans are so soft. At least you fight like a krogan. Alright, Shepard. Stick with me and I'll keep you alive," Grunt said.

"You do kind of fight like a krogan," Jacob said.

"Thanks," Shepard said with a smirk.

Grunt took his guard duty seriously and insisted on growling at anyone who came within ten feet of Shepard while she made her slow way to the rapid transit. The pain level in her thigh was slowly ratcheting higher. He checked out the inside of the skycar before letting her get inside and then made sure she was secure before climbing in after her. Shepard suppressed a groan. Jacob took his job seriously in a whole other way. His eyes didn't stop moving the entire time making note of anyone who looked to be paying too much attention to Shepard or who might be carrying a weapon. He stepped away from Shepard frequently to scout the area ahead and behind her. They got her safely to the Councilor's offices and Shepard was directed to report to Anderson's office. She made her way down the hall to Anderson's office and turned to Jacob and Grunt.

"You guys wait out here, hopefully this won't take long," Shepard said.

"No," Grunt said.

"What?" Shepard asked.

"No. I was told to guard you while you're on the Citadel. You're on the Citadel," Grunt said.

"Grunt… it's Councilor Anderson's office," Shepard said.

"No," Grunt said again.

Amusement seeped through from Jane. Shepard sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Anderson's secretary pushed a button and spoke into the comm.

"Councilor Anderson, Spectre Shepard is here to see you but there is a problem, sir," she said.

"What's the problem?" Anderson asked.

"Her, ah, _krogan_ guard is refusing to wait out here while she goes in to see you," she said.

Shepard heard Anderson's soft chuckle before he said, "That's alright, Rebecca. Her guards can come in with her."

"Yes sir," Rebecca said.

Shepard nodded at the secretary and let Grunt lead her into Anderson's office. Anderson crossed the floor to welcome them and Grunt growled at him.

"Grunt! No! For gods sake, that's Anderson. I trust him. He's like family," Shepard said.

Anderson stopped a few feet away and stood at parade rest with an eyebrow raised. Grunt eyed the Councilor before stepping aside.

"Family can still stab you in the back," Grunt said.

"Indeed. I don't believe we've met, Grunt, was it? I'm Councilor Anderson," Anderson said extending his hand to the wary krogan.

Grunt narrowed his eyes at Anderson before cautiously moving forward and crushing Anderson's hand in his own. Shepard smirked because she knew that Grunt was testing Anderson, and Anderson's muscles were bulging beneath his jacket as he gave back as good as he could. Grunt sniffed and dropped Anderson's hand before looking around the office.

"Shepard, I'm surprised Dr. Chakwas let you leave the Normandy so soon. I thought we'd be meeting through video conference," Anderson said.

"I didn't ask permission to leave, sir," Shepard said.

"Shepard…," Anderson said.

"What? I'm not going to just sit around on my ass all day with all this crap going on, Anderson," Shepard said.

"Christ woman, you're going to be the death of me," Anderson said.

He must have seen the heartache in her eyes because he moved forward and gently wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Grunt gave Anderson the stink eye but Anderson was not so easily dissuaded.

"Hey kid, it's going to be alright. We'll make this all work out," Anderson said.

"I really hope you're right," Shepard said resting her head against his shoulder until he released her.

Shepard waved Jacob forward and introduced him to Anderson.

"Anderson, this is Jacob Taylor," Shepard said.

Jacob held his hand out and said, "Nice to meet you, sir."

"Pleasure's mine. Well, since I'm the one that insisted Shepard had a guard I can't complain that the two of you are taking the job seriously. That being said, I'm going to have to ask that if you plan to stay you agree that what you hear doesn't leave this room. Will that be a problem, Mr. Taylor?" Anderson asked his eyes dropping to the Cerberus logo on Jacob's chest.

"No sir, not in the slightest," Jacob said.

"He's trustworthy. Wouldn't have brought him if he wasn't," Shepard said.

"Good. You were in the Alliance weren't you, Mr. Taylor?" Anderson asked thoughtfully.

"I… I was, yes sir," Jacob said.

"I can see it in you. In the way you carry yourself," Anderson said.

Jacob dropped his eyes and said, "Yes sir."

"Discharge?" Anderson asked.

"Voluntary honorable, sir," Jacob said lifting his eyes again to meet Anderson's gaze.

Anderson grunted and said, "Good. At least I know this Illusive Man of yours isn't sending her out without proper backup."

"He's not my Illusive Man, with all due respect, sir," Jacob said.

Anderson raised an eyebrow and Shepard smiled.

"That so?" Anderson asked.

"Certain things have been brought to my attention and I find that I am no longer a fit for the Cerberus organization. Once this collector problem has been dealt with, I will be giving the Illusive Man my resignation," Jacob said with his head held high.

"I'm glad to hear that, Mr. Taylor. Will you be rejoining the Alliance?" Anderson asked.

"No sir, my reasons for leaving the Alliance remain valid regardless of my reasons for leaving Cerberus," Jacob said.

"I see. Well, let me know if you change your mind. I'd be happy to get you set up with a recruiter," Anderson said.

"I'll keep that in mind, sir," Jacob said.

"Well, we'd better not keep the rest of the Council waiting," Anderson said.

Anderson led them over to the three hologram comms. They sprang to life showing the images of the rest of the Council when Anderson hit a button to activate them. Grunt and Jacob stood off to the side watching Shepard as she spoke to the Council.

"Shepard, it is good to see you are on your feet again. I see you've brought others with you?" Tevos asked.

"I insisted she have a guard while on the Citadel considering recent events," Anderson said.

"I see, and this is her guard?" Tevos asked.

"I chose them from my crew," Shepard said.

"Very good, then there is no concern over their loyalties?" Tevos asked.

"None at all," Shepard said.

"Shepard, we need to know what happened last night," Sparatus said.

"The events are still a little foggy, but I believe I recall enough to fill in the picture for you, sir," Shepard said.

"Let's hear it then, Shepard. I haven't got all day," Sparatus said.

"I was nearing C-Sec on my way back to the Normandy when I heard a weapon discharge. I drew my pistol and moved towards the sound. A turian exited C-Sec carrying a pistol and headed in the direction of the Factory District. I began pursuit. C-Sec officer Marcedus exited C-Sec in pursuit of the suspect, he noted my presence and continued pursuit," Shepard said.

She shifted her weight trying to relieve the growing ache in her thigh before continuing, "I was unable to catch up to them before I lost a visual. I heard more gunfire and when I got to the location I found Officer Marcedus lying on the floor, shot and unconscious. There was no sign of the suspect. I moved down the hall to be sure the area was secure and when I continued to see no sign of the suspect I returned to Officer Marcedus and began to administer first aid."

Shepard shifted again and winced. Anderson motioned to the chair at his desk and Jacob brought it over and sat it down next to Shepard. She grabbed a hold of the back of the chair and shifted her weight off of her leg.

"It's for you to sit in, Shepard," Anderson said.

"I'm fine, sir," Shepard said.

"Sit, Shepard. That's an order," Anderson said.

"Yes sir," Shepard said and sat down with a relieved sigh.

"I was about to call C-Sec to report an officer down when I was attacked, hit in the back of the head. I was able to maintain consciousness long enough to fend off the attackers, receiving more injuries in the process. Once the area was secure, I returned to Marcedus to attempt further aid but with the drop of adrenaline I'm afraid I lost consciousness myself," Shepard said.

Shepard paused to recount to herself what happened after that before speaking again, "It is sometime after this that I am told I was found by one of my crew, moments before more assailants moved into the area. The member of my crew carried me further into the Factory District, we were pursued. I regained consciousness and called the Normandy requesting backup. At that point, I was unable to recall the events that had just occurred due to the concussion. We did our best to stay in cover and avoid the assailants until back up arrived. I lost consciousness once more and was carried to the location of my team where first aid was administered. C-Sec arrived while shots were still being fired between my team and the assailants."

"You're certain it was Officer Marcedus who left C-Sec in pursuit?" Tevos asked.

"Yes ma'am," Shepard said.

"How can you be certain? It was dark and by your descriptions you weren't very close," Sparatus challenged.

Shepard could feel Jane's agitation growing with her own. She really did not like Sparatus.

"He looked right at me, sir and I was plenty close enough to see his face in detail while I was applying Medi-gel to his wounds," Shepard said.

"Shepard, Officer Marcedus was not found among the bodies at the scene and he has yet to report to C-Sec," Valern said.

"Then he was either removed or recovered enough to leave on his own," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Obviously,"_ Jane said.

"Are you certain that he was pursuing the suspect and not fleeing from the scene of a crime he just committed, Shepard?" Sparatus asked.

"There is no way for me to be certain of his actions prior to the moment I saw him leave C-Sec, sir, but it is my belief that he was in pursuit and not fleeing," Shepard said.

"Why is that?" Sparatus asked.

"Body language, facial expressions, the fact that they didn't stop to try to capture me, oh and he was shot when I got to him," Shepard said agitated.

"You're an expert on turian body language and facial expressions now, Shepard?" Sparatus asked.

"I wouldn't say I'm an expert, sir, but I am sleeping with a turian and it has given me an advantage at deciphering the expressions of turians, yes," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Holy shit…,"_ Jane said.

Humor danced in Tevos' eyes as she fought to keep her face neutral. Shepard heard Anderson's and Jacob's chuckles from behind her. Sparatus snapped his mandibles tight against his face with an audible click.

"Is this a joke to you, Shepard?" Sparatus asked.

"No sir, I'm just telling you what experience I have, sir," Shepard said.

"It still stands that Marcedus being shot could have been a planned part of an ambush," Sparatus said.

"I don't dispute that, sir. All I have is my opinion to offer you on the matter," Shepard said.

"And it is your opinion that this was related to The Dissension?" Valern asked.

"Yes sir. I do not recall any specific reference to The Dissension last night, but all evidence appears to point at them as being the responsible party. One did say to me that things didn't have to end with my death, but it was one way to get the job done," Shepard said. "I believe that to be in reference to the goals previously stated during the interrogation of Varcus."

The Councilors looked at one another before looking at Anderson and nodded, Sparatus more reluctantly than the others but still in agreement.

"Thank you, Shepard. If you remember anything else please let us know," Tevos said. "We have not yet questioned those arrested last night, we wished to speak with you first but Anderson will inform you of any relevant information pertaining to your personal safety obtained from the interrogation. We will inform Captain Bailey of his officer's role in last night's proceedings as you recall them."

"Thank you, ma'am," Shepard said.

"There is one other thing, Shepard," Sparatus said as Shepard started to stand.

She stopped and let herself relax back into the chair, turning her attention back to the Council.

"We assigned your four representatives specifically for the Bahak mission. They are not there to be ordered into combat at your whim outside of the Bahak mission," Sparatus said.

"They volunteered, sir. James Vega and Altiria Eraslius were particularly insistent," Shepard said.

"I see. Be that as it may, do try to keep in mind that these men and women are not your permanent assets," Sparatus said.

Shepard clenched her jaw and said, "Of course, sir."

The images of the Council disappeared and Anderson offered her a hand getting out of the chair. Grunt moved to her other side to watch Anderson.

"Well, he's uh…," Jacob said.

"An asshole?" Anderson supplied and Jacob laughed.

"Yes sir," Jacob said.

Jacob picked up the chair and carried it back to Anderson's desk. Shepard pulled the medication bottle out of her pocket and twisted the lid off. She shook a couple out in her hand and Anderson crossed the room to pour her a glass of water from a pitcher sitting on a table. She put the pills between her teeth while she put the cap back on and put the bottle back in her pocket. Anderson came back and handed her the glass, which Grunt eyed suspiciously. Shepard washed the pills down and handed Anderson the glass back.

"I've got to get off this leg. I'm going back to the Normandy but we're not taking off for at least a few hours if you need me in the meantime," Shepard said.

"Good, go rest Shepard. I'll be thinking about that look on Sparatus' face for the rest of the week. Wish I had recorded that," Anderson said.

Shepard snorted and a thought occurred to her.

"Wouldn't there have been a recording in C-Sec?" Shepard asked.

"Bailey checked it right away, whoever these people are they're at least smart enough to turn off a camera before killing two cops and a prisoner," Anderson said.

"Yet not smart enough to wear armor when attacking a Spectre," Shepard said.

Anderson shrugged and said, "And they would have taken most Spectres with their numbers."

Shepard grunted and started hobbling towards the door. Grunt moved out in front of her and Jacob stayed by her side. She had to stop at the end of the hall outside of the Counselors' offices and lean against the wall for a minute. She was relieved when they finally made it to the rapid transit and the skycar arrived. The pain killers started to kick in on the ride back to the Zakera Wards but she still gladly accepted Jacob's arm when he offered it to her in support. Grunt left Jacob to help Shepard into the ship once they crossed the airlock and his job was done. He headed straight for the elevator and disappeared inside.

"You want help up to your cabin?" Jacob said moving her slowly towards the elevator.

"I need to eat something," Shepard said.

"I can bring something up to you if you want," Jacob said.

"Yeah, that'd be wonderful. Thanks, Jacob," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Sooo… he said he's leaving Cerberus, that's good,"_ Jane said.

Shepard ignored Jane. Once they were in the elevator Jacob let her lean against the wall and pushed the button for the top deck.

"Uh, Commander, if you don't mind. What I said in there, you think you can keep that between us for now?" Jacob asked.

"Sure thing, Jacob," Shepard said.

"Thanks, ma'am," Jacob said.

When the elevator opened up to her cabin Jacob slid his arm around Shepard again and helped her to her door. She hit the door's release and the doors slid open. Jacob hesitated over the threshold.

"It's alright, Jacob you can come in," Shepard said.

Jacob crossed into her cabin but they didn't make it very far before Garrus appeared at the foot of the stairs. His mandibles fluttered and he sniffed at the air.

"I'm just helping her up, that's it," Jacob said.

Garrus chuffed and Shepard laughed following it with a groan.

"He's not concerned about that, Jacob. He's pissy because I didn't tell him I was leaving the ship," Shepard said.

"You should have woken me up," Garrus said.

"You were up half the night, you needed the sleep. Besides, I had Grunt and Jacob with me and the only place I went was Councilor Anderson's office," Shepard said.

"Shepard, I talked to Joker," Garrus said. "I know you were trying to leave alone, unarmored and with nothing but your pistol."

"Well, Garrus, I can hardly be expected to wear armor when I can barely walk! I don't care what Grunt says," Shepard said.

"That's not the point and you know it," Garrus said.

"Yeah, yeah. Can I sit down now, please?" Shepard asked.

Jacob started forward again with Shepard's urging and Garrus climbed the stairs to meet them at the top sliding his arm around Shepard's waist.

"I got her, thanks Jacob," Garrus said.

Jacob let Shepard go and said, "Sure. I'm going to bring her something to eat. You want me to grab you something, too?"

"Hmmm," Garrus lifted Shepard off of her feet and said, "Yeah, if you don't mind. I want to keep an eye on her. She's liable to go wandering off and get herself hit over the back of the head again."

"Am not," Shepard said. "Being shot is far more likely."

Garrus chuffed and Jacob snickered.

"Sure, no problem. I'll be back in a few," Jacob said.

Garrus carried Shepard down the stairs and she pointed to the couch so he deposited her there. His laptop was still sitting open on the coffee table and the screen was filled with some report he'd found about The Dissension. Shepard let her head rest against the back of the couch and closed her eyes. The pain killers were making everything seem a little fuzzy around the edges. Garrus sat down next to her and pulled the laptop into his lap.

"I remember most of what happened last night. Marcedus wasn't responsible for Varcus, though Sparatus is trying to make it seem like he was for some reason. Probably so he can downplay The Dissension," Shepard said.

"What do you remember?" Garrus asked.

"Heard gunshots. Saw Marcedus chasing an armed turian out of C-Sec. He looked right at me; saw me with my gun out already moving after the suspect, too. Wasn't fast enough, though. Not to chase down a determined turian with a head start. They rounded a corner and Marcedus got shot. Found him bleeding out. The other guy was gone so I was helping Marcedus when the others showed up," Shepard said wriggling around on the couch to get more comfortable.

"Don't know where he's at now though. Council said he wasn't found dead and he still hasn't reported. I think he's hiding scared, licking his wounds," Shepard said.

"Guy wakes up surrounded by dead people, yeah I can see that," Garrus said. "Jane has nothing on this?"

"Nope. This is all new. I mean, they'd have to have been a thing before now, right? We just disturbed the nest with Varcus, right? Stirred things up," Shepard said.

"Hmmm. Probably," Garrus said.

"Sorry to bother you, Shepard. Jacob is returning to your cabin," EDI said.

"Open the door for him, EDI," Shepard said.

"At once, Shepard," EDI said.

"Thanks EDI," Shepard said.

"You're welcome, Shepard," EDI said.

"She's acting a little strange today, isn't she?" Garrus asked.

"Mmm. She's been spending time with Mr. Manners down stairs. I think he's made an impression on her," Shepard said.

"Mr. Manners? Krios? The damn assassin is making impressions on the AI? That's going to end well," Garrus said.

"Give him a break, Garrus. He did save my life last night," Shepard said.

 _"_ _I saved your –,"_ Jane started to say.

"Shut up," Shepard thought, cutting her off.

Garrus chuffed and stood as the cabin door slid open. He moved to help Jacob carry the trays downstairs to sit on the coffee table. Shepard thanked Jacob and pulled herself to the edge of the couch so she could lean over the table to eat. Jacob left again and Garrus sat down next to her. After she finished she leaned back against the couch again and listened as Garrus read off what little he had found on The Dissension.

Shepard woke up to EDI's voice. Garrus had shifted her to a lying position on the couch and brought a blanket and pillow over from the bed. He was sitting on the other section of the couch with his legs stretched out, feet resting on the coffee table. He was looking towards the door when she opened her eyes.

"Crap. How long have I been asleep?" Shepard asked.

"About an hour," Garrus said. "EDI said Krios is on his way up here."

"Let him in, EDI," Shepard said.

Shepard groaned when she sat up and pushed the blanket off of her.

"I have to use the restroom. Be nice," Shepard said.

"I'm always nice," Garrus said.

Shepard snorted and made her way slowly to the stairs and then into the restroom. When she came out again Thane was standing in front of the terrarium. His head turned to the noise of the door opening, his dark eyes appraising her in her wounded state. Shepard could all but see the assassin gears turning in his head as he marked her weaknesses. Then something shifted and his eyes softened. Shepard made her way from the restroom, stopping to grab a hold of her desk for support.

"You want to talk you'll have to come downstairs. I need to sit down," Shepard said.

"Of course," Thane said gesturing to the stairs.

Shepard moved past him and to the top of the stairs, she put her palm out on the wall to support her as she made her way down. Thane moved to her side and held his arm out for Shepard. She sighed and used it to brace herself, letting him take some of her weight as they moved down the stairs. Garrus glanced up from his laptop briefly. Thane helped Shepard to the couch and then moved to stand near the stairs with his hands clasped behind his back.

"What can I do for you, Thane?" Shepard asked.

"Forgive the intrusion, but I did not think you would be moving around already," Thane said.

"She shouldn't be, but she's Shepard," Garrus said his eyes still on his computer.

"Indeed. I wished to speak with you in regards to one of our previous conversations… if we might have a moment to speak in private," Thane said.

Garrus looked up from the laptop again to study Thane who didn't flinch under Garrus' gaze the way most others would have these days. Garrus looked to Shepard and she nodded her head so he closed the laptop and stood. He moved to stand in front of her and then crouched down to look up into her eyes. Shepard put a hand on the side of his face and he nuzzled his face against it before kissing her palm. She hooked a finger under his chin and pulled his face towards her for a kiss before he left. Thane stepped aside as Garrus made his way up the stairs and out of the cabin.

Shepard balled up the blanket and laid it on the pillow to her right leaving the seats to her left and across from her open. She gestured to the empty spots but Thane continued to stand. She let him watch her for a minute before she grew impatient.

"Thane?" Shepard said.

"My apologies, I find this a difficult topic to address," Thane said. "I spoke with the bankers…"

"They gave Kolyat the package?" Shepard asked when he trailed off.

Thane frowned and said, "They did."

"Mmm. Have you come to try to solve the puzzle of how I knew or are you looking for what else I know?" Shepard asked.

Thane scoffed and scratched his temple before he spoke, "Again you appear to have me at a disadvantage. This is not a position I have often found myself in."

"There is no disadvantage, Thane, because I have absolutely no desire to do you harm of any kind," Shepard said. "Unless you plan to threaten me again, then we'll see."

Jane stirred around in the back of Shepard's head. Thane looked at the floor in front of him before meeting her eyes again.

"I have not come to threaten… but I am prepared to plead," Thane said. "I need to know where Kolyat is and this is apparently the most expedient method."

"Well that's a first. You don't need to plead. I'll tell you whatever I can but first, will you do me a favor?" Shepard asked.

"What is it?" Thane asked.

"I left my medication in the bathroom. I could really use it and a glass of water," Shepard said.

Thane's brows twitched and a smile tugged at his lips.

"That's it?" Thane asked.

"What did you think I was going to ask you to kill someone?" Shepard asked.

"Perhaps. Of course, one moment," Thane said and left to fetch her pills and water.

"Shepard, Dr. Chakwas orders were to take two every four hours as needed. Biometric scans indicated you recently took a dose when you returned from the Citadel. It has not yet been four hours since your last dose and taking more is not recommended," EDI said.

"I know, EDI, thank you," Shepard said.

"If you take more than the recommended dose, I will be required to report the matter to Dr. Chakwas as her orders supersede yours on matters of medical concern," EDI said.

Thane returned and sat the glass down in front of Shepard.

"Yep. Do what you got to do, EDI. I'm taking the pills. And while you're at it, tell her that I think she missed some shrapnel in my thigh. It shouldn't still hurt this bad," Shepard said.

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said.

"Thanks, EDI," Shepard said.

"You're welcome, Shepard," EDI said.

"You've got her saying that regularly now. Congratulations, your positive influence is winning out over Joker's negative influence with the AI," Shepard said.

Thane grinned and twisted the cap off of the bottle before extending it towards her.

"Two, please," Shepard said reaching for the glass.

"Shepard, drell produce venom –," EDI began.

"I'm well aware, and I have plenty of memories of the effect drell venom has on me – uh… I mean – Ah… drell venom has a decreased effect on me due to the implants and I, uh… just give me the bottle," Shepard said.

Shepard reached out her hand without looking, afraid to meet Thane's eyes as her face blushed as red as a tomato she imagined. Instead of the bottle, Thane placed two of the pills in her hand. Shepard glanced at him and mumbled her gratitude before putting them in her mouth and washing them down. Thane moved silently around the room, looking at pictures, medals, and model ships keeping his back to Shepard giving her time to compose herself. It was the first time she could recall that he had allowed her to be at his back for so long. The tingle of his venom on her lips and tongue did nothing to cool her racing thoughts. Shepard raked a hand through her hair and took another drink of water.

"EDI, will you give us some privacy, please?" Thane asked.

"Of course, Mr. Krios," EDI said.

"What other drell have you met… or will you meet?" Thane asked.

"Kolyat and an agent of the Shadow Broker named Feron," Shepard said.

Thane turned to face Shepard, he paced towards her and stopped on the other side of the coffee table.

"Kolyat? You meet him?" Thane asked.

"Yes, I'm usually with you when you stop him from making this mistake… and then a couple of times after that," Shepard said.

"After that?" Thane pressed.

Shepard cleared her throat and said, "He's there when you… We both come to visit you before you… when you're in the hospital."

"When I go to the sea?" Thane asked.

Tears pricked at the corners of Shepard's eyes and she looked away.

"And then again when he asks me to host a memorial service," Shepard said barely above a whisper.

"You said, 'please don't die this time,'" Thane said quietly. "I thought you were speaking of yourself… You were speaking to me."

Shepard closed her eyes and a tear broke free to slide down her cheek. She wiped it away and sighed.

"Can we just focus on Kolyat?" Shepard asked.

"Of course… I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," Thane said.

Shepard turned back to him looking for signs of deceit or amusement in his face but found neither. Thane took a seat on the side of the couch Garrus abandoned; sitting on the edge with his elbows resting on his knees he clasped his hands in front of his mouth.

"Can you tell me where my son is?" Thane asked.

Shepard started to shake her head and winced.

"Not exactly, no. I know that once he gets the package he speaks with Mouse," Shepard said.

"Mouse?" Thane asked dropping his hands from his mouth.

"Yeah, same Mouse you knew when he was a boy. Mouse sets him up with a contract to kill a politician named Joram Talid. He's turian running for office with an anti-human agenda. A man named Elias Kelham wants him dead. It's supposed to take place in the 800 Blocks of the Zakera Wards," Shepard said. "You could talk to Mouse and see if he's given Kolyat the assignment yet."

"Thank you," Thane stood up. "How long until you plan to leave the Citadel?"

"Not for a while. If I know you're coming back, I'll wait for you," Shepard said.

Thane nodded and said, "My thanks. I will return."

Thane walked away from her but hesitated near the stairs before pacing back a few steps. He stood with his hands behind his back and studied her before speaking softly.

"I'm sorry I did not have the answers you sought… perhaps, if it helps to recount the memories… I may not understand the context, but I of all people will understand the process," Thane said.

"You believe me now?" Shepard asked.

"Your evidence was compelling, and I have given it much thought. Who am I to presume to understand what is within the power of the divine?" Thane said.

"Is that why you helped me last night?" Shepard asked.

Thane smiled and said, "It isn't often that I am called upon to save a life. It pleases me that it was yours."

Thane started up the stairs.

"Hey, that wasn't really an answer to either of my questions!" she said.

"Indeed," he said with a grin before disappearing from her sight.

Shepard listened as the door opened and closed.

"EDI?" Shepard said.

"Yes Shepard?" EDI asked.

"Please tell Garrus that he can come back now if he wants," Shepard said.

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said. "Mr. Vakarian is on his way. Is there anything else I can do for you, Shepard?"

"EDI… you listen to all of the conversations aboard the Normandy, don't you?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, Shepard," EDI said.

"Do you send those conversations to the Illusive Man in your reports?" Shepard asked.

The door to the cabin slid open and Shepard heard Garrus' feet shuffle across the floor.

"Many of the conversations are erased before my reports are sent. I believe it may be a corruption in my programing. Would you like for me to diagnosis and repair the problem?" EDI asked.

Shepard smiled and said, "No, that's alright."

"Very well, Shepard," EDI said.

"Hey, EDI?" Shepard said as Garrus settled in next to her on the couch.

"Yes Shepard?" EDI asked.

"Thank you. I appreciate your efforts to help make things easier for me," Shepard said.

"It is my pleasure, Shepard," EDI said. "After all, I owe my continued existence to you."

"I'm glad I was able to help," Shepard said.

"As am I," EDI said.

"What was that about?" Garrus asked.

"My AI guardian angel," Shepard said.

Garrus frowned and said, "I meant with Krios, but I'm glad EDI is looking out for you."

"It really isn't my place to say. He needed to ask me something personal about his life; I'd like to leave that private," Shepard said.

"Hmmm. Fair enough. How are you feeling?" Garrus asked.

"Well, I got reprimanded by EDI for taking more pills too soon. And I suspect Dr. Chakwas will be paying me a visit soon," Shepard said.

"It's still that bad?" Garrus asked.

"The leg is. I'm starting to think she missed something," Shepard said.

"You want me to look at it for you?" Garrus asked.

"If I'm taking my pants off for you, it's not so you can look at my leg," Shepard said.

Garrus gave a low, throaty chuckle that only made Shepard want to strip him out of his armor even more. He leaned over and nipped gently at her neck.

"I miss you, too, but I can wait and so can you," Garrus whispered into her ear.

"I'm not so sure about that. Definitely not if you're going to keep doing that," Shepard said.

Garrus growled softly and nipped at her neck once more before pulling away. Shepard whined and he chuckled.

"EDI?" Garrus said.

"Yes, Mr. Vakarian?" EDI asked.

"Tell Dr. Chakwas that I'm bringing Shepard down to have her leg checked out," Garrus said. "Oh, hm, please and thank you, EDI."

"Right away, Mr. Vakarian and you are welcome," EDI said.

Garrus grinned and said, "I kind of like her like this."

"I really don't want to walk down there; can't I wait for her to come up here?" Shepard asked.

"I'm going to carry you, and no one is going to say a damn thing about it," Garrus said.

He leaned in to nip at her neck again before whispering, "And you're not going to fight me on it because I might be convinced to try some… lighter activities tonight."

"Ohhh that's not playing fair, Mr. Vakarian," Shepard said.

Garrus stood and scooped her off of the couch.

"I don't play to be fair, Shepard. I play to win," Garrus said. "And with the way you smell right now, I'd say I'm winning."

Shepard groaned and rested her head against his shoulder. He took her down to the med bay and sat her down on one of the tables. Shepard laid back and let him ease her pants down over her hips. Dr. Chakwas put on gloves and pulled the bandage away from Shepard's thigh. She looked the wound over before gently prodding the area. Shepard hissed through her teeth.

"Sorry Commander, I know it hurts. Let me know if there is an area more sensitive than the rest," Dr. Chakwas said.

Dr. Chakwas pressed around on her leg until Shepard growled and said, "There! That's worse."

Dr. Chakwas opened her omni-tool and started scanning the area. After a minute she frowned.

"I'm going to have to bring in Miranda. I'm not sure if what I'm seeing is a part of the implants in this leg or not," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Fantastic," Shepard said through clenched teeth.

EDI called Miranda and a few minutes later she walked through the med bay door. She made her way right to Shepard and opened her omni-tool and started her own scan before Dr. Chakwas even told her the nature of the problem.

"There," Miranda said. "That doesn't belong. Oh, and it's in deep. Shepard, I'm so very sorry but we're going to have to remove that surgically."

 _"_ _No, Dawn, no. I get it you're mad, but please. Please don't let them do this. Please,"_ Jane begged.

"It's alright, Mordin found a way to uh, to uh shut down that part of my brain so there won't be any screaming or prophecies this time," Shepard said.

 _"_ _No,"_ Jane whimpered.

"Prophecies?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

Garrus led Dr. Chakwas over to her desk and away from the table. Shepard couldn't hear what he was saying but the look of horror on Dr. Chakwas face told her everything she needed to know. Dr. Chakwas looked back at Shepard before nodding to Garrus.

"I will consult with him first then… and involve him in the surgery if you would be more comfortable with that?" Miranda asked.

 _"_ _Yes, at least don't let her do it alone,"_ Jane said.

"It's alright, I trust you to handle this," Shepard said.

"You do?" Miranda asked.

"I do. We'll talk about the other thing later, OK?" Shepard said.

Garrus and Dr. Chakwas returned to stand over Shepard.

"Yes, Commander," Miranda said. "I don't have the robotic equipment here so I'll need to make a larger incision than I'd like and even with the implants you'll likely have to be on bed rest for at least three days."

 _"_ _Oh gods. Oh gods. What it Mordin's method doesn't work this time?"_ Jane asked.

"What? No, no that's not an option," Shepard said pushing away Jane's rising panic.

"I'm sorry, Commander but it can't be helped. We can't leave the shrapnel inside, it's too large and the implants will force it out in a much slower, much more painful process," Miranda said.

"If I may make a suggestion?" EDI said.

"What is it, EDI?" Miranda asked.

"I believe that if provided with instruction on what needs to be done that Legion would be more than capable of performing the surgery to the same standards, if not exceeding them, compared to that of the equipment you possessed for the Lazarus Project," EDI said.

"That might work. I'll need to provide him with the Lazarus Project records and he'll need –," Miranda started to say.

 _"_ _Let Legion do it! Please, let him do it?"_ Jane begged.

"You can't be serious?!" Dr. Chakwas said.

"EDI send Legion in, please?" Shepard asked.

"And why not? He has the level of precision that would be necessary to perform the surgery and the capacity to learn everything that he would need to know in a matter of minutes – seconds even!" Miranda said.

The door next to Shepard slid open and Legion moved to stand next to Garrus.

"Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

"This is crazy. Shepard are you sure?" Garrus asked.

"Positive," Shepard said.

"Legion, I need you to perform surgery on Shepard. EDI can supply you with all of the information you need on human anatomy, and I can give you her health records," Miranda said.

Legion's optics contracted and expanded as his brow plates fluttered.

"Legion, do you think you can do that?" Shepard asked.

Legion turned his head back to Shepard before he answered, "Yes. We do not understand why we are being asked."

"Because your platform will be able to perform the surgery with greater precision than an organic could, which will allow you to make a smaller incision and cause Shepard the least amount of pain and recovery time," EDI said. "As well as a decreased risk of an error being made."

"We understand and are willing to perform surgery on Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

"Spirits," Garrus said.

Dr. Chakwas sighed and asked, "What do you need me to do?"

The next half-hour was a flurry of activity as Dr. Chakwas moved about making sure the room and equipment to be used was properly sterilized. EDI transferred data to Legion on a list of medical books Miranda listed off. Miranda left to talk to Mordin who insisted he be allowed to observe the procedure and monitor Shepard's anesthesia. Once Legion had the information from the Lazarus Project and had identified the shrapnel on the scans he expressed a confidence rating of 99.4 %. Shepard was prepped for surgery and sedated.

Shepard blinked her eyes to clear the haze. She hard Garrus move beside her and carefully turned her head to see him sitting in a chair next to the bed. She smiled at him as he brushed her hair out of her face.

"Did he get it?" Shepard asked.

"Hmmm, yeah he got it," Garrus said.

Mordin insisted that she remain in the med bay until the anesthesia had completely worn off, he warned her that since she had taken her medication shortly before being anesthetized, it could take longer than the last time. Shepard closed her eyes and let herself drift in and out of consciousness. An hour or so later Mordin woke her up and had her sit up on the bed. He shone a light in her eyes and asked her to follow his finger with her eyes as he moved it back and forth in front of her face. Once he was convinced that she was stable enough to get up he helped her ease off of the bed.

Shepard almost cried with relief when she found that she was able to put her weight down on her leg without it feeling like she was being stabbed from the inside. Garrus moved around the bed to watch her as she took a few steps to make sure she didn't fall. She could slowly feel Jane's presence awakening in her mind.

"Much better," Shepard said.

"I never want to have to watch a geth slice you open again, so do me a favor and avoid the mines next time, will you?" Garrus asked.

Shepard snorted and said, "I'll do my best."

Shepard let Mordin run another scan on the back of her head before she got dressed again. She made her way into the AI core and found Legion standing still in the back of the room staring intently at something on the wall. He turned to face her when she came closer. She saw that he had been staring at the dried daisy that April had given to him back on Fehl Prime. Shepard smiled and pointed at the flower.

"That's a good place for it," Shepard said.

Legion turned his head to look at the flower and said, "Yes."

"I wanted to say thank you, Legion. My leg feels much better and they're not making me stay in bed for the next three days," Shepard said.

"We approve of the opportunity to assist Shepard-Commander in continued pursuit of the old machines," Legion said.

"Or as EDI would say, 'you're welcome'," Garrus said from the door.

"Yes," Legion said.

Shepard chuckled and shook Legion's hand before heading out of the med bay. Content that she was doing better, Garrus left her to get some work done in the main battery. Shepard made her way to the CIC and checked her messages to see if the Council had forwarded her anything yet. A brief message from Anderson informed her that they had interrogated the men arrested the night before but were unable to obtain any new information from them at this time.

"EDI, has Thane returned to the Normandy?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, Shepard. Mr. Krios is in life support," EDI said.

"Good, send a message to everyone on the crew telling them we take off in an hour," Shepard said.

"At once, Shepard," EDI said.

"Joker?" Shepard said.

"Yes Commander?" Joker said over the comm.

"So long as everyone is back onboard, go ahead and get us out of here in one hour. I'm entering the coordinates now," Shepard said.

"Aye, aye, Commander," Joker said.

Shepard entered the coordinates for the Bahak system and made her way down to life support. She rapped her knuckles on the metal door before hitting the release. Thane sat in the chair facing the observation window; he glanced over his shoulder as she walked in.

"I have been informed that the geth, Legion, performed surgery on you," Thane said waving his hand at the chair across from him.

"EDI tell you that?" Shepard asked.

"Yes," Thane said as Shepard sat down.

Shepard shook her head and said, "I'll have to have a talk with her about the necessity of keeping medical information private. Not that I particularly care that she told you, it's the principle."

"You appear to be moving with greater ease; I take it the surgery was successful?" Thane asked.

"Yep. The geth kept me from having to spend three days in bed so I'd call that more than a success," Shepard said. "How'd it go, if you don't mind my asking?"

"I found Mouse, he swears that he has not had contact with Kolyat but promises to contact me if Kolyat reaches out to him. I spoke to a few others I knew on the Citadel as well, and they have agreed to notify me if they speak with or even see Kolyat. The Citadel is a big place, I fear it is the best that I can do with limited time," Thane said.

Shepard bit her lip and leaned back in the chair. Thane watched her curiously as she scrunched up her nose.

"If you want to stay on the Citadel, I'll understand," Shepard said.

 _"_ _What? No, something could go wrong. We need him,"_ Jane said.

Thane chuckled and said, "I don't believe I've ever seen someone make that face before. Thank you, but no, I have agreed to join you and I intend to be of service."

"You're sure? Because I'll be coming back to the Citadel after the Bahak system either way. If you want you could stay now and come back with me then," Shepard said.

Thane leaned back in his chair and tapped his fingers lightly across the surface of the table. Shepard leaned forward; she could see the indecision tearing at him.

"Thane, go find your son. Make things right with him. We both know that you need this," Shepard said. "He needs it, too."

 _"_ _And we need him. We can help him with Kolyat when it's time,"_ Jane said.

Thane dipped his head and said, "You continue to surprise me, Shepard. Very well, I will stay on the Citadel until you return."

Thane stood when Shepard did and extended his hand to her; she took his hand and he shook it gently mindful of her wounded shoulder. He didn't let go right away so she left her hand in his.

"Listen, if anything happens. If you get hurt or Kolyat gets hurt – or just whatever – get to Councilor Anderson and tell him that I sent you. Tell him it would be a personal favor, and that I said Jane trusts you completely," Shepard said.

"Completely?" Thane asked raising a brow.

His finger shifted across her hand to rest on her wrist testing her pulse. Shepard wondered if he even realized he was doing it.

Shepard shrugged with her good shoulder and said, "Yeah. She's not too happy that I didn't hand you your ass when you decided it was a good idea to use physical intimidation tactics but she still trusts you."

"I see, and do you trust me… completely?" Thane asked.

"No," Shepard said softly. "It's a little difficult to trust someone _completely_ when they don't trust you."

She looked pointedly at his fingers resting on her wrist and Thane let go of her hand.

"I've changed a lot of things since I became aware of Jane. The interactions you and I have had don't mirror what she had with you. The foundation of our relationship is not the same, and I'm not even the same person she was… not anymore at least. Being aware of her, being aware of everything, it changed me, too. You might find this version of me to be completely obnoxious for all I know," Shepard said. "But I think we'll get there. You did save my life last night. That has to count for something. I suppose I didn't actually thank you for that, so… thank you."

"You're welcome; I'm glad I found you in time… and obnoxious is not the word I would choose. I find you, intriguing," Thane said.

Shepard felt herself starting to blush with embarrassment as the word 'intriguing' triggered Jane's memories of flirtatious conversations with Thane. She silently cursed her fair complexion.

"And colorful," Thane said with a smirk.

Shepard snorted and said, "Alright, alright. Get out of here. I'll see you when we get back."

Thane dipped his head to Shepard before walking out of the room. When the door closed behind him she groaned and rubbed her hand across her face.

"EDI, please notify Joker that Thane is staying behind on the Citadel for the time being," Shepard said.

"At once, Shepard," EDI said.

"Thanks, EDI," Shepard said as she headed towards the door.

"You are welcome, Shepard," said EDI.


	42. Chapter 19: Problems

**Chapter 19: Problems**

The trip to the Bahak system was giving Shepard a chance to relax a little and heal. James had taken it upon himself to keep her corralled and off of her feet as much as he could when Garrus wasn't around. She was willing to bet good money that the two had conspired together because whenever one wasn't around, the other surely was. Shepard couldn't help the stupid grin that crept up on her face when James got frustrated trying to teach her how to play a game he called Malilla. It was supposed to be a four player game but it was just the two of them in her cabin.

Kasumi and Lia had made their way to Shepard's cabin to see how Shepard liked her gift. Shepard had forgotten all about the little blue and white bag with everything that had happened that night. It didn't take Kasumi long to find it tucked away in a draw in Shepard's desk. She handed it to Shepard with a sly grin and told her that it was definitely appropriate to open in front of James. Shepard opened the bag and dug around until her hand hit something lacey. She pulled her hand back out of the bag leaving whatever it was tucked away inside before raising an eyebrow at Kasumi. Lia broke into a fit of giggles when the thief snatched the bag back and dug out the black lace nightie. James had whistled and suggested that Shepard try it on right away. Shepard rolled her eyes at the three of them and insisted that Kasumi put it away. James had convinced the two women to stay and play cards, insisting that the game was much easier to learn than Shepard was making it out to be.

Jack had even managed to find her way up to Shepard's cabin to check on her, although, of course, she refused to admit that was what she was doing. She brought with her several sketches of phoenixes for Shepard to look at. Shepard was amazed at Jack's drawing skills and together the two of them picked out their top three favorites. Jack left them with Shepard to make her final decision. James picked them up from the coffee table on his next check-in and asked what they were for. When Shepard told him they were tattoo concepts, he handed her one and insisted it was the right one. Shepard studied the image for long minutes, running her fingers over the flame-touched feathers of the reincarnated bird almost expecting to feel their soft touch, or the heat of the flames. She nodded her head; he was right. That was the one.

When Shepard failed to name the snake, which turned out to be a male, after the first day Garrus started calling it Spike and it just stuck. Shepard let him have the privilege of feeding Spike his first meal aboard the Normandy and they both watched in fascination as the snake stalked and then struck at its prey; its jaws crushing the skull of the white rat. Shepard cringed when blood trickled out of the rodent's nose and eyes.

That evening, Shepard was more than a little shocked when EDI informed her Grundan Krul was on his way to her cabin. James raised an eyebrow and Shepard shrugged. EDI let Grundan Krul in he made his way to the top of the stairs to watch her and James in silence before accepting Shepard's offer to sit down.

"Garrus send you to check on me?" Shepard asked.

"No, he just needed some space and I… thought we could talk," Grundan Krul said.

"Alright," Shepard said slowly. "James, you mind cutting out of here for a little bit?"

"You got it, Ídolo," James said gathering the cards up off of the coffee table and stuffing them back into their box before heading for the door.

Shepard turned to sit sideways on the couch so she could watch the batarian sitting a few feet away from her. Grundan Krul sat on the edge of the cushion, elbows resting on his knees. He ran idle fingers across the glass surface of the coffee table before speaking.

"I don't do well with communicating with others, but Archangel seemed to think that you needed to hear this from me," Grundan Krul said.

The hairs on the back of Shepard's neck started to stand on end. She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Jane began to stir restlessly in the back of her mind.

Shepard finally filled the stretch of silence by asking, "Hear what from you?"

"Batarians, we aren't… we aren't close knit people. Family doesn't hold as great of a meaning to us as it does to humans," Grundan Krul said.

Shepard frowned trying to make sense of the batarian's train of thought. She waited quietly while he worked through what he wanted to say.

"I've never been a part of the Hegemony. Never on Khar'shan; I lied. I was born aboard a slaver vessel and raised by my father and his crew. My father killed my mother when she tried to take me and leave," Grundan Krul said.

 _"_ _Slaver vessel…,"_ Jane repeated.

Shepard wasn't sure what to say and she hated trite responses, especially in moments like these. She pulled at her lip with her teeth, tearing away bits of dry skin until she tasted blood.

"You said that your family died on Mindoir during a batarian slave raid," Grundan Krul said turning to look at Shepard.

 _"_ _Oh gods…,"_ Jane said.

She nodded slowly and said, "Yeah, I was sixteen when it happened…"

"Shepard, I was there. My father led that raid," Grundan Krul said.

"You son-of-a-bitch!" Shepard growled.

Biotics flared around Shepard and she was on her feet standing over the batarian before the thought to move even occurred to her. He didn't flinch away; he didn't move or speak at all. He only watched her with those emotionless black eyes of his. She growled and forced herself away from him. Shepard walked across the room to stand at the foot of her bed. She pushed the biotics down, shoving Jane and the other's rage away from her. She slid her Commander's mask back into place and forced herself to stand at parade rest.

"You helped to torture, kill, and enslave innocent people… my family and friends… and you… you came on to _my_ ship… fought beside me?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _Kill him, he's supposed to be dead anyway!"_ Jane insisted.

Her hands ached to wrap themselves around his throat and strangle the life out of him. Her fingers itched to pick up her pistol and pull the trigger. Her stomach twisted into knots. Biotics flared up around Shepard again as she struggled to keep them in check. Grundan Krul's eyes tracked her movements, his face a tight mask of neutrality.

"I was fourteen. My father had been trying to groom me to take over. I wasn't interested in it, didn't want the job. He said it was because I was weak and beat me half to death more than once, as if that would change my mind," Grundan Krul said.

 _"_ _Garrus will understand,"_ Jane said.

The muscles along Shepard's jaw flexed as she clenched her teeth. Conflicting emotions swirled around her mind, echoing back to her from Jane and the others. Shepard had trouble thinking about the voice as just Jane after having been trapped inside her own mind and hearing the others – _feeling_ the others so clearly.

"I saw… what they did to your people. I know what you endured. I watched it all from a distance, hidden away behind cargo crates. I ran away and hid like a coward in the chaos. My father and his crew were gone long before he realized I was missing," Grundan Krul said his words coming a little faster. "I spent weeks hiding in the shadows and walking among your dead until a scavenger ship arrived. I stowed away on that ship and wound up on Omega."

 _"_ _He's lying. You know he's lying. Even if he's not, he did nothing to help. Nothing to stop people from being taken,"_ Jane said.

Shepard watched as he stood up from the couch. They watched each other in silence from opposite ends of the room. Biotics danced and licked across the surface of her skin.

"What we're going to do in the Bahak System," Grundan Krul said.

"Has nothing to do with Mindoir," Shepard snapped.

Grundan Krul held up a hand and said, "I know. You've done everything you could to ensure that batarian lives were spared in this. I don't understand why. I saw what my people did to yours. I know the… the brutality of it all and yet you're still doing something for them that they would never do for humans."

Grundan Krul tilted his head to the left and watched her before turning to leave the room. Shepard watched him go in silence. He stopped at the top of the stairs and turned back to face her.

"If you want me off of the Normandy, I understand. I thought you should know, though that the one responsible for the death of your family is dead. I put the bullet between his eyes myself. Just ask Archangel," Grundan Krul said before walking out of her cabin.

Shepard dropped her hands to her sides before collapsing onto her bed, hiding her face in her hands as soon as the door closed behind him. She shook with rage; with relief. Her body trembled with the sorrow of mourning those long lost and the heartbreaking image of a fourteen year old batarian boy surrounded by bloated, rotting corpse to escape a man who killed his mother and beat him without mercy.

Shepard sat on the bed for a few minutes doing her best to calm her racing thoughts and filter through the emotions; trying to decide what it was that _she_ really felt. Shepard stood and hurried out of the room, pushing the elevator call button before the cabin door could even hiss closed behind her. The elevator came and she took it down to the third deck where she made her way determinedly through the mess past the cryo pods and into the main battery.

"It wasn't his fault, he was just a kid," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _He could have done something. Anything,"_ Jane said.

"Maybe… but he doesn't deserve to die for that," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _No, I suppose he doesn't,"_ Jane said.

Shepard stopped in her tracks when she found Garrus and Altiria half stripped from their armor and nuzzling into each other's necks. Garrus glanced up calmly when the door opened but Altiria pulled away from Garrus with mandibles fluttering wildly as she snapped a salute. Shepard hadn't seen terror on enough dying turians to recognize the look on Altiria's face.

 _"_ _Oh,"_ Jane said.

"Oh, sorry. I was looking for Grundan Krul. Did he come back here? Do you know where he went?" Shepard asked.

Garrus stepped away from Altiria to cup Shepard's elbow.

"No, Shepard what's wrong? Did he… did you two finally talk?" Garrus asked.

Shepard raked a hand through her hair and said, "Yeah, and I could have handled it a lot better. 'Course I could have handled it a lot worse. Anyway, I need to find him."

EDI's console sprang to life, she spoke in a soft voice, "Mr. Grundan Krul is in the hangar, Shepard."

"Thanks, EDI," Shepard said.

"You're welcome, Shepard," EDI said.

"Shepard, are you sure you're ready to talk to him? I can go instead," Garrus said.

"No, I'm good. I've got this," Shepard said forcing a smile she didn't feel at the moment on her face.

She rose up on her tip toes to kiss Garrus' mandible before gently pushing him away.

"You stay here and keep that pretty turian over there company," Shepard said.

Garrus' mandibles fluttered before he pressed his forehead into Shepards and turned back to Altiria. Altiria was still watching Shepard with wide eyes, frozen in salute.

"As you were, Altiria," Shepard said.

"Yes – yes ma'am," Altiria said.

Shepard stepped out of the main battery and as the door closed behind her she heard Altiria comment that she thought humans were more territorial over their mates. Shepard made her way to the hangar. It didn't take her long to find Grundan Krul sitting on some crates starring at the Cerberus logo on one of the shuttles. His head turned to watch Shepard as she approached and she caught only a glimpse of the pain he was hiding before his features slipped back into a mask of neutrality.

His eyes followed her as she came to sit down on the crate next to him. She didn't speak right away so he turned his attention back to the Cerberus logo. Shepard let her eyes rest on the orange and black diamond pattern as well. She took a deep breath and leaned forward on the crate resting her elbows on her knees.

"What happened? How'd he end up with your bullet between his eyes?" Shepard asked quietly.

Grundan Krul was quiet for so long that Shepard was starting to think he wasn't going to answer. When he did, he spoke about the incident as calmly as if he were making an official debrief.

"They were taking a bit of shore leave on Omega. Enjoying the sights in Afterlife. He recognized me when he found me in the markets. I recognized him, too, of course but I didn't think he'd seen me. I left the markets and found myself surrounded by him and four of his men. He wasn't expecting me to fight back, but I wasn't a child anymore," Grundan Krul said glancing at Shepard.

"Still, they had me dead to rights… until they started dropping like flies around me. I didn't know where the shots were coming from, but by that point I didn't care. I saw my chance and grabbed my gun off the ground," Grundan Krul said. "I half expected him to drop like the others before I could pull the trigger but he didn't. He laughed and told me I was too much of a coward to pull the trigger. Told me I was no son of his. I swear he looked proud for just a second before his body hit the floor."

Jane had stilled herself and was listening intently as Grundan Krul told the story of how he came to kill his father. The man responsible for the death of Dawn's family, and the families of so many of the other Shepards. Shepard let out a slow breath and turned back to stare at the shuttle. Grundan Krul did the same.

"Garrus?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, it was Archangel. He came sauntering down the alley a minute later with Mierin, Butler, and Weaver," Grundan Krul said.

Shepard nodded and looked down at the floor between her knees.

"I could have handled that better, back there," Shepard said.

"You didn't kill me so I'd say you handled it fine," Grundan Krul said.

Shepard snorted and said, "I was tempted."

"I know," Grundan Krul said.

Shepard hopped down from the crate and turned to face Grundan Krul. She held a hand out to him.

"We good?" Shepard asked.

Grundan Krul shook Shepard's hand and said, "Yeah, we're good."

Shepard left the batarian to his thoughts and made her way out of the hangar. Instead of taking the elevator up to her cabin she made her way to the cockpit to slide into the seat next to Joker. Without asking, Joker reached over and pushed a button on his console and the shutters slid closed blocking the stars from sight.

"I have to admit, Shepard, it was kind of nice to see someone limping around worse than I do even if it didn't last long," Joker said.

Shepard snorted and said, "Sorry to disappoint."

"Yeah. We'll be in the Bahak System in a few hours. You really going to blow up a relay?" Joker asked.

"Unless I magically find some other option," Shepard said.

 _"_ _There is no other option,"_ Jane said.

"Awesome. Well, at least it'll give me a good chance to put my baby to real use pulling our asses out of there before we explode, too," Joker said.

"If I do my job right, we'll have plenty of time," Shepard said.

"You take so much of the fun out of this for me," Joker said.

Shepard smirked and said, "Oh but it makes it so much more fun for me."

Joker made a face at her before turning his attention back to the console.

"These people down there, they're all indoctrinated. As soon as they figure out what I'm doing, they're going to fight against it. I don't want to put the Normandy at risk for no reason so you're going to hold back by the relay," Shepard said.

"Yeah, yeah. So this is real, then? The reapers are trying to come through that relay?" Joker asked.

"Yeah. This will only delay them. Things are going to get real ugly before this is over," Shepard said.

"Great," Joker said.

They fell into a comfortable silence as Shepard watched Joker work his magic, keeping this ship on course. After a while, she left him with a pat on his shoulder and made her way to her cabin to pass the time responding to messages and filling out reports. When EDI told her they had arrived at the Bahak System. Shepard had EDI alert the Council Four.

"Commander, sorry to bother you but someone named Admiral Hackett is requesting to speak with you on vid-comm and he says that it's urgent," Kelly's voice broke through Shepard's cabin as she got her armor into place.

"Patch him though, Kelly," Shepard said and moved over to turn on the screen at the back of her model ship display.

Admiral Hackett's face appeared. Shepard could tell right away that he was agitated. The scars on his face had taken on a red hue in his distress. She saluted the screen and waited for him to speak.

"Shepard, I just learned that you are going to the Bahak System. The Council wouldn't give me the details of your mission but I've heard the reports of a terrorist threat. Shepard, we have deep cover operatives there. Dr. Amanda Kenson is in a batarian prison in the Bahak System. They're holding her on charges of terrorism. Shepard, I've known Dr. Kenson for a long time. I don't know what's going on with all of this, but she can't be responsible. I need you to get her out of there," Hackett said.

 _"_ _We can't go after Kenson with the Council Four with us. If we leave now, they're going to want to know where you went and why. This will stain their reports to the Council. Just leave her, she'd only try to indoctrinate us anyway,"_ Jane said.

"Admiral, sir, the Council has placed four soldiers with me for this mission. There is nothing that I can do here that won't be reported right back to the Council. Are you sure the prison wasn't evacuated with the rest of the system?" Shepard asked.

"I'm positive, Commander. The Council would never approve of my co-opting you for this," Hackett said rubbing a hand over his face.

"Sir, there is one option," Shepard said.

 _"_ _You can't be serious? It'll look just as bad if you send out a second team, Dawn,"_ Jane said.

"They'll go after we're gone. Garrus is good enough to make sure they aren't seen and no one on from Cerberus is going to be in any rush to tell the Council Four anything," Shepard thought.

"What do you have in mind, Shepard?" Hackett asked a spark of hope flickering across his face.

"After I take a shuttle with the Council Four, I can privately instruct others from my crew to make a rescue attempt for Dr. Kenson," Shepard said.

Shepard watched as Admiral Hackett ran a hand over his face once more and sighed.

"You trust them to be discreet? If they see an armed team moving in, they'll kill her. That is nothing to say of the potential political backlash if word of this gets out," Hackett said.

"I do sir," Shepard said.

"Alright. I'll trust your judgement, Shepard. Thank you," Hackett said.

 _"_ _For your sake, I hope you're right,"_ Jane said.

"Thank you, sir," Shepard said.

"Hackett out," the admiral said before the screen went dark.

"EDI tell Garrus to get to my cabin on the double," Shepard said.

"At once, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard paced the floor in front of her desk waiting for Garrus. Two minutes later the turian walked in; the look on Shepard's face had him studying her intently with his mandibles pulled in tight against his face.

"There's a slight problem and I don't have time to brief you on the details. Chose a team, no more than two and they need to be able to move quiet and follow your orders. Take a shuttle and go to these coordinates as soon as I've got the Council Four off the ship," Shepard said sending him the coordinates Hackett forwarded to her console.

"It's a batarian prison. You will go in as quiet as you can, find the Alliance operative Dr. Amanda Kenson and extract her with as little fanfare as possible. Getting in will be easier than getting out. She is indoctrinated, but will work with you to get out of the prison. Don't let her know that you know. Once you are clear, restrain her well and bring her back to the Normandy. Miranda can help you figure out where to keep her. The Council's deactivation team doesn't see you come or go. The Council Four never sees her, never hears her, never hear about her. Got it?" Shepard asked.

"If she's indoctrinated why are we saving her?" Garrus asked.

 _"_ _See, he gets it. Why don't you?"_ Jane asked.

"She has valuable intel on the invasion… and Hackett needs to see that she's indoctrinated for himself," Shepard said. "She's Alliance, Garrus, even if her head isn't on straight so please try to treat her as kindly as you can but don't trust her. You need to be out of there before the shit hits the fan on my end."

"I've got this, Shepard," Garrus said.

"Shepard, we're getting a docking request from the Council's deactivation team," Joker's voice came over the comm.

"Permission granted," Shepard said. "EDI tell the Council Four to meet me in the comm room."

Shepard started to move past Garrus when he stopped her and pressed his mouth to hers. She made her way down to the CIC to meet the team of asari and turians flanking the asari captain boarding her ship. Shepard saluted the asari who introduced herself as Captain T'Vede before leading her to the comm room. The Council Four were already waiting, gathered around the table.

"Commander, thank you for having me aboard. I'm glad you've arrived, we've had some problems," T'Vede said.

 _"_ _What a surprise,"_ Jane said.

"What problems? Are you unable to deactivate the relay?" Shepard asked.

"No, everything is in order with the relay. As soon as your team is clear, we will finalize the process and ride the final wave out of the system," T'Vede said.

"Final wave?" Shepard asked.

"When a relay is deactivated, it sends out a final pulse to release some of the energy it already has built up before the rings spin down and it stops generating a mass effect," T'Vede said.

"OK, so what's the problem?" Shepard asked.

"We have had small waves of resistance. Our ships have come under attack and there have been sabotage attempts to prevent the relay from being shut down," T'Vede said.

"Batarians?" Shepard asked.

"In part, but that was to be expected. We prepared for that, we were not prepared for the human infiltrators we found meddling with the relay," T'Vede said.

"Humans…," Shepard repeated.

 _"_ _Kenson's team. That's good though, right? More proof that they're all bat shit crazy and trying to let the reapers through,"_ Jane said.

"Every few hours more come in from that asteroid. We were given strict orders to defend ourselves and the relay as necessary until you gave us the final order, but to otherwise keep our distance. They've been trying to sneak past our defenses in shuttles. Most of them flee when we power up the guns but once a group did get past us, they were shot on sight when they were found attempting to sabotage the deactivation process," T'Vede said.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose and thanked T'Vede for the intel. She told her to keep doing as they have been. Shepard was taking her team down right away and would notify her when they were ready to leave. T'Vede nodded and led her team back through the Normandy and to her own ship before making her way to the hangar.

"Assume that these people are indoctrinated. Do not wander off; do not leave your weapons behind under any circumstances. Keep your eyes and ears open," Shepard said.

Shepard didn't wait for the chorus of 'yes ma'am' and salutes before opening the shuttle door and ushering them inside. She banged her fist on the shuttle wall once the doors were closed giving the Cerberus shuttle pilot the all clear to issue the command to open the hangar doors.

"If they're indoctrinated, will they have something like on Fehl Prime?" James asked.

"Most likely," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Object Rho is far bigger. Far more dangerous than the artifact on Fehl Prime,"_ Jane said.

Kirrahe opened his omni-tool and ran his hands over the screen. The screen morphed into an image of the reaper artifact that they found on Fehl Prime. He leaned forward in his seat so that it could be clearly seen by the others in the shuttle.

"This is an image of the reaper artifact that was discovered on Fehl Prime. Prolonged exposure to such an artifact causes indoctrination. The people who were in the research facility with this artifact were insane. They were performing experiments on themselves and abducted colonists," Shepard said.

"Experiments doesn't quite cover it, Commander," James said taking on a more formal tone in light of the conversation and active mission.

"What do you mean?" Norisne asked leaning towards Kirrahe to study the image.

James half shrugged before he said, "It was loco; they were sticking parts ripped right out of husks and collectors into themselves. They had these rooms with dead people and husks piled up, rotting and stinking up the place and they just continued to work around it like it was nothing. They had cells set up in the back filled with people… Dios, children even, right next to a room with this thing in it."

"They were doing it to themselves?" Norisne asked glancing at James.

James nodded and said, "Yeah. Like I said, completely loco. And they fought like rabid animals to keep us out. Kept saying they were going to save humanity."

"Is this what we are to expect on the asteroid, ma'am?" Altiria asked.

 _"_ _No, just a lot of crazy people with guns,"_ Jane said.

Shepard turned her attention to the turian and said, "To some extent, yes. We don't have any reason to think that they have husks or collectors down there experimenting on themselves but when challenged, you can expect them to behave much the same way."

"Orders on dealing with hostiles, ma'am?" Altiria asked.

"If things get violent, defend yourself and our team. When you shoot, shoot to kill because they will not show you mercy," Shepard said.

"Yes, ma'am," Altiria said.

"And if someone surrenders?" Norisne asked.

 _"_ _No one will surrender,"_ Jane said.

"I doubt that will happen, but in the event, secure the prisoner for transport," Shepard said.

"If you will allow," Kirrahe said before drawing a dart gun to show Shepard, "I recommend knocking them out before securing them."

Shepard nodded her head and said, "Sounds good."

"Landing in five, Commander," the Cerberus pilot's voice came over the comm.

"Thanks," Shepard said.

"Alright, be alert, stick together, and if you see anything unusual don't touch it," Shepard said.

People were gathering out on the landing platform as Shepard's shuttle approached. She told the pilot to retreat to another location and wait for her to call him back. He lowered the shuttle to hover a couple of feet above the ground while Shepard and the Council Four jumped out. The shuttle rose up and took off as Shepard led her team towards the waiting researchers.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" a man in a lab coat asked Shepard.

"Council Spectre Commander Shepard. This system has been evacuated. Why are you here?" Shepard asked for the benefit of the Council Four.

"Shepard…," the man said his eyebrows twitching in surprise. "We can't leave. Not until the project is complete."

"What project?" Shepard asked.

The man looked back over his shoulders where the small group gathered behind him whispered in excitement amongst themselves. He turned back to look at Shepard and nodded.

"Shepard, yes. You'll understand. I'll show you. Come," the man said.

Shepard glanced at the Council Four who gripped their weapons close but kept them aimed at the ground. Shepard followed the man in the lab coat as the other researchers moved aside to let her and her team past. He led them through the shuttle bay and Shepard was uncomfortably aware that the other researchers were moving behind her team, following them inside. Her eyes moved upwards to take in the giant countdown clock looming over the facility's entrance.

 _"_ _Three days, twelve hours, twenty-five minutes, and twenty-eight seconds. You've gotten here early,"_ Jane said.

"Commander, we have found proof that the reaper invasion is far closer than expected," the man said.

"What's your proof, Mr…," Shepard asked.

"Oh forgive me, how rude, of course. My name is Dr. Vincent Martinez. I'm afraid I'm filling in for our lead researcher, Dr. Amanda Kenson. She has been… unavailable for a couple of days. Anyway, we found something of great importance on the asteroid," Dr. Martinez said.

Shepard continued to follow him into the facility, her eyes moved around noting the locked door to her right. Dr. Martinez moved down the hall to the left, the small group of researchers helped herd her team forward. The door at the end of the hall glowed green, indicating it was the only unlocked door in the area. They were leading her to the reaper artifact just as before.

 _"_ _You've got to make him talk before you get to that artifact. They need to hear this from one of them,"_ Jane said.

"So what is it that you've found, Dr. Martinez?" Shepard asked.

The middle-aged man stopped in front of the door at the end of the hall and turned to face Shepard.

"We discovered a reaper artifact; we're calling it Object Rho. The artifact has been emitting a pulse that has slowly been counting down the time to the reaper invasion," Dr. Martinez said.

Dr. Martinez turned and opened the door before continuing, "I assume you saw the countdown above the entrance? When that clock hits zero, the reapers will invade through the Alpha Relay if we don't stop them."

"Dr. Martinez, are you aware that exposure to a reaper artifact can cause indoctrination?" Shepard asked.

"Oh yes, of course. We've been extremely careful, of course," Dr. Martinez said.

He led them on through the next room and to the elevator. James gave her a questioning look and Shepard nodded her head. They stepped inside the elevator with Dr. Martinez. Norsine shared a wary look with James while Altiria kept her attention straight ahead. Kirrahe signaled to Shepard that he was ready on her command. Shepard signaled back to hold fire. She needed them to see everything this place had to offer, not just to be able to sufficiently convince the Council but to get whatever information they could since she never had the chance before… and to buy Garrus more time.

"Pardon me, doctor, but how can you be sure that this pulse is counting down to a reaper invasion?" Shepard asked.

"The visions, of course," Dr. Martinez said as if it were really that simple. "That is why we've made plans to destroy the relay. We've managed to rig the asteroid so that it can be propelled into the Alpha Relay. It's just waiting for activation," Dr. Martinez said.

Shepard's team adjusted their grips on their weapons and shared looks between one another.

"Dr. Martinez, why is your team attempting to sabotage the Council's attempts to shut down the relay?" Shepard asked.

"Here, it's just through here. Once you see it, you'll understand everything," Dr. Martinez said as they stepped off the elevator and he led them to a door.

It was the room Shepard knew housed Object Rho. Dr. Martinez set to work opening the door with his omni-tool.

"Dr. Martinez, why is your team attempting to sabotage the Council's attempts to shut down the Alpha Relay?" Shepard asked again using her hand to signal her team to be ready.

The hall held a few other researches and armed guards. Some looked on curiously while others conversed quietly. At least the others hadn't followed them down on the elevator. The door slid open and Dr. Martinez gesture towards the reaper artifact sitting squarely in the middle of the room. Black metallic pieces rose towards the ceiling, cupped together like a lotus with swirling blue light and black, wispy tendrils of something altogether alien and wrong licking out around the metal.

"Dios is that…," James said.

"What in the name of the goddess is that thing?" Norsine asked.

"That ladies and gentlemen is a very large, very much unshielded reaper artifact. We will _not_ be going in there," Shepard said.

"But you must. You must see the visions. You must understand what is to come so that you can understand why we must let it happen!" Dr. Martinez said.

"Just to be clear, you want me to go in there with a reaper artifact so that I can get visions of an imminent reaper invasions so that I will understand why we should _not_ stop the reaper invasion?" Shepard asked.

James and the rest of the Council Four shifted, raising their guns slightly.

"Yes, exactly. You will see why this is necessary. The reapers can't be –," Dr. Martinez said.

"I'm afraid I can't allow that to happen, Dr. Martinez. Your team has clearly become indoctrinated by the artifact. I must insist that you turn this project and all the information that you have over to me at once," Shepard said.

"They're coming, Shepard! They're coming and you have been promised a reprieve if only you'll listen. Go, go inside. Let them show you. You'll see this is the only –," Dr. Martinez said.

Shepard cut him off by punching him in the nose. Dr. Martinez stumbled back, blood pouring from his nose as Shepard drew her pistol and leveled it at the doctor. James and Altiria turned to point their guns at the men standing near the elevator while Norsine and Kirrahe turned theirs on the men standing at the other end of the hall.

"This is your last chance. Surrender and you will not be harmed," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Great showmanship. You know damn well they aren't going to surrender,"_ Jane said.

Dr. Martinez snarled and launched himself at Shepard. She pulled the trigger on her pistol twice, catching the doctor in the chest and he fell to the ground. The other researchers fled while the guards drew their weapons and began firing on Shepard and her team. Norsine sent a Shockwave down the hall, knocking them on their asses before Kirrahe set them on fire with an Incinerate. James and Altiria opened fire on the ones by the elevator. As soon as they were down more were piling in through the door at the other end of the hall.

"Uhhh, Shepard, we have a problem," James said pulling Shepard's attention to the artifact.

Armed men were making their way around the artifact toward Shepard and her team but James was clearly more concerned with the black tendrils that were pushing themselves out past the artifact, twisting through the air and coming straight for her and her team.

 _"_ _The others won't be able to resist, you've got to get them out of here!"_ Jane yelled.

"Down the hall! Move! Move!" Shepard yelled.

"Do not resist. Give yourself over and be spared," the ominous voice resonated from Object Rho.

"Spirits," Altiria said.

Shepard and James forced their way through the wall of guards spilling out of the door at the end of the hall while the others defended their flank. They were getting hit hard, but they held it together long enough to push into the next room and lock the door behind them. Shepard ordered her team into cover as they continued to fight off the guards who threw themselves at Shepard's team relentlessly. Kirrahe kept the door locked thwarting the attempts of the guards on the other side to make their way in. Norsine used her Singularity to tie up as many of the guards as she could, making them easy targets for the rest. Whenever they got too close, Shepard used her Shockwave to push them back again. James filled the air with a spray of bullets while Altiria took her time to aim before each pull of the trigger. The turian was well trained and damned effective, everything Shepard expected from the turian military.

They pushed the guards back and advanced further into the room, sticking to cover as much as they could until the flow of new guards slowed to a trickle and the corpses littered the floor. Shepard moved up to the door and pressed her back to the wall before peering into the next area. It led into another hall. She was coming in from a different area and was having trouble matching up Jane's memories to her current location. Shepard waved Altiria forward. The turian jogged down the hall, trusting Shepard to provide covering fire as needed. She stopped at the first door and hacked her way in.

"Clear," Altiria called back over her shoulder before moving to the next door.

Shepard waved Norisne forward, signaling her to move to the room Altiria already cleared and hold that position. Altiria called out the all clear for the next room and Shepard waved James forward. Altiria moved to the next door as Shepard and Kirrahe made their way down the hall after her. Shepard pressed her back against the wall next to the last door with Altiria on the other side. Kirrahe took cover behind a support beam. Shepard nodded and Altiria hacked her way through the final door. It opened up into another hall already filled with guards taking cover behind crates staggered through the hall.

Shepard and Altiria open fired on the guards and Shepard waved to Kirrahe who moved to her position to wait for her signal. As soon as there was a pause in the fire from the hall, Shepard signaled to Kirrahe who ducked low and ran into the hall to take cover behind a crate. They repeated this for the others until all of her crew had pushed into the hall and taken ground from the guards. The few remaining guards began to panic and retreated back down the hall into the next room, closing the door behind them.

"EDI, can you read me?" Shepard spoke into her mic.

"Yes, Shepard," EDI's voice came through.

"EDI, I need you to copy whatever you can from the terminals in this place," Shepard said.

"At once, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard pushed forward and gave the signal for Altiria to open the door. The guards were set up directly across from the door, tucked behind crates and protected on one side by a metal support that angled down from the ceiling. More filled the room to the left. Shepard thought she recognized the room. A console formed a horseshoe in the center and she could see security monitors and video logs paused on the screens. Shepard activated her biotic Charge and slammed into one of the guards across from the door. When a second guard turned to fire on her, he was hit with three shots from her team before dropping to the ground. Shepard finished off the first guard and pressed her back to the support beam before firing at the guards on the other side of the console. Kirrahe made his way to her side when there was an opening, switching between Incinerate and pistol as he went.

"Get to that console when you have an opening and defend it. If the four of you are going to be able to speak in my favor, you need to see whatever information they have here," Shepard said over the comm.

"Easy enough," Kirrahe said from beside her before using a Cryo Blast to snap freeze a guard.

James sprayed the frozen guard with his assault rifle, shattering him completely. Altiria crouched down low behind a crate and made her way to the edge. Shepard and Norsine provided the turian with cover fire while she bolted to the next crate. Altiria was determined to fulfill Shepard's orders and protect that console. Norsine threw up a Singularity next to the console on the right, tripping up two guards and making four others back away from the console. James and Kirrahe fired at the guards suspended midair by the glowing blue orb. Altiria ran for the console, getting tagged by a guard twice before she dropped to her side and slid feet first behind the horseshoe cover. It reminded Shepard of that old game they still played on Earth.

"Shields are down," Altiria said.

Altiria stayed down long enough for her shields to recover before popping out of cover and returning fire. Shepard didn't like her being out there alone, stranded on an island surrounded by enemies no matter how good the turian was. She signaled to Kirrahe and he nodded before making his way to the nearest crate and inching his way towards Altiria's location. James peppered the air above the console with bullets discouraging interlopers.

"Vega, cover me, I'm pushing forward. Norsine, get to that console once they're on me," Shepard ordered.

She didn't wait for confirmation before activating her biotic Charge, angling herself past the console to slam into the nearest guard. There wasn't much cover on this side of the room, and the door next to her opened up letting in a few more guards. One of them exploded a few feet away from her as Kirrahe used and Incinerate on the pyro tank the guard had strapped to her back. Shepard punched an engineer in the face before shooting him in the chest. Another was on her before she could turn around and she elbowed him in the face. She heard the rapid fire rapport of James' assault rifle tearing through the shields of those advancing on her location.

"He wants her alive," one of the guards said. "Grab her! Grab her!"

She caught a glimpse of James charging forward as she turned to shoot another guard in the head. His helmet deflected the bullet but it rang his bell enough to make him stop in his tracks. Shepard wrapped him up in a Reave before turning to put a bullet in the breastplate of a guard creeping up on her left. She was taking shots but so far her shields had held. Kirrahe set the guard on fire and he immediately began to flail around trying to put out the flames that spread up along his left side. Shepard caught a glimpse of a few more guards being pulled up into a Singularity courtesy of Norsine. Shepard was hit twice, once in the chest and once in her still tender shoulder. They didn't make it through her armor but they dropped her shields.

"Lost shields," Shepard said.

"On your six, moving up on your three," James said from behind her.

Shepard turned to her left and felt James move past her. She completed the turn and he pressed his back to hers. She let the bear of a man provide her a source of cover while she waited for her shields to recharge. She glanced to her left and saw Norsine pop her head out of cover and throw out another Singularity. Altiria took aim at the floating guards and filled them with holes. James raged at her back, filling the area in front of them with bullets keeping the guards back from Shepard. Her shields were up and Shepard turned out away from James to join back in the fight.

When finally the guards in the room were all down, Shepard moved to the other side of the door and hit the controls. James continued to fire out into the next hall until the doors slid shut. Kirrahe vaulted over the console and moved to the door, his omni-tool already opened he jammed the door's signal buying them some time.

"Go, see what you can find on that console," Shepard ordered.

James hesitated next to Shepard, not wanting to leave her to defend the door on her own.

"Commander, they were trying to take you," James said in a hushed tone.

"That's an order, Vega," Shepard said.

James frowned but ran back to the console and around the far side. He kept his eye on the door as Kirrahe started pulling open files and playing video logs. A male voice filled the air speaking about how he didn't understand why he ever thought the dreams he'd been having could be nightmares.

"I see it now. The reapers aren't coming to destroy us, they're coming to save us!" the voice said.

That log ended and Kirrahe started another, it was one of Kenson's. She spoke about making a terrible mistake with the project. Shepard kept her eye on the doors, her gaze moving from one to the other at the opposite side of the room. When the Council Four were finished at that console they signaled Shepard that they were ready and took cover. Kirrahe moved to the door across from Shepard and unlocked it, opening it when she gave him the go ahead. A heartbeat later and the sound of gunfire filled the room once more.

They pushed their way down the hall, leaving a trail of bodies behind them. They made their way through the facility stopping at every central hub they came across so her team could review the files. Shepard's shoulder and thigh were starting to ache by the third central hub. Norsine was starting to show signs of exhaustion from using her biotics so much but the others still seemed to be holding up.

"Interesting," Kirrahe said.

Shepard turned her head to take in the salarian as he stood over a console. A holographic projection hovered above the console of the plans for Kenson's project to use the asteroid as a weapon.

"What did you find?" Shepard asked.

"Detailed analysis of the pulse emitted by the artifact. I've checked the equations, they seem to be correct. The artifact is counting down to something," Kirrahe said.

"Yeah, a reaper invasion," James said.

"That seems to be what these people believed. Yet to find clear evidence, other than logs reporting visions of the invasion," Kirrahe said.

 _"_ _Of course the salarian needs more proof,"_ Jane said.

"Then he'll get it," Shepard thought.

The rest of the Council Four gathered around Kirrahe to look over the specs. James shook his head and turned back to Shepard.

"Sorry, Commander, all those numbers are beyond me. Hey, whose idea do you think it was to add letters to math? Like it wasn't complicated enough already?" James asked.

Shepard smirked and turned back to the door.

"Humans first began using algebraic equations in –," Kirrahe began.

"We don't need a history lesson, Kirrahe," Norsine said cutting him off. "Ready when you are, Shepard."

Kirrahe harrumphed but let it go, moving to disengage the door for Shepard instead. They were encountering less and less armed resistance and more and more crazed researchers desperate to protect the relay from Shepard's team. They had passed the med bay Shepard remembered waking up in the other times, and fighting her way out of it by hijacking a LOKI mech. Firmly reoriented, she was able to guide her team more easily to where they needed to be. They stopped at several more central hubs to review the logs and by the time they reached the engine control room the grim faces on the Council Four told Shepard that they had seen enough but they started opening logs anyway.

Altiria found a security feed log and pressed play. Shepard glanced over the turian's shoulder when she recognized the grating voice from thousands of nightmares. The video showed Dr. Amanda Kenson standing in front of Object Rho where a projection of Harbinger hung in the air.

"The cycle must continue," Harbinger said.

"Yes, yes I see that now. What do you want me to do?" Kenson asked looking up at the reaper with awe written all over her face.

"Goddess… it's just like Sovereign," Norsine said.

"You must stop this project of yours. The cycle cannot be stopped, destroying the relay will only delay the inevitable," Harbinger said.

"I – I can't… the other researchers will never allow it. They won't understand," Kenson said.

"They are mine as you are mine. They will not stand in your way," Harbinger said.

"Yes, of course. I'll stop the project, the relay won't be destroyed," Kenson said.

The image of Harbinger flickered out of existence and Kenson was left staring at empty space. The video feed cut off there.

"If you have any doubts, now is your last chance to speak up," Shepard said.

The countdown clock above the engine controls showed Shepard they had been on the base for nearly four hours already. She didn't know if Garrus had made it back to the ship with Kenson yet or not, but she couldn't delay this any longer. She looked into the eyes of each of the Council Four and saw only resoluteness staring back at her as they each nodded their heads. Shepard approached the engine controls and the console sprang to life in front of her.

"Welcome to project control," a feminine VI said.

"Activate the project," Shepard ordered.

"Warning, activating the project will result in an estimated three hundred and five thousand casualties," the VI said as the screen calculated the actual number of 304,942. "Do you wish to continue?"

"I thought the system was evacuated?" James asked.

 _"_ _Just the batarian prison and this base. Far fewer lives lost even if the relay does completely destroy the system. Not that we'll know anytime soon,"_ Jane said.

"It was. Simple VI, it's referencing the last known population. It's data is outdated," Kirrahe said.

Shepard didn't hesitate, she touched the center of the console where a series of red lights formed a circle. The lights turned green and began to spin. She felt the thrusters kick on and stumbled back a step.

"Project activation in progress. Warning: Collision with mass relay is imminent. Begin evacuation procedures," the VI said.

Shepard stood back and pointed her gun at the console.

"Shepard, what are you doing?" Kirrahe asked her.

 _"_ _Why, it's never happened before?"_ Jane asked.

"Yeah, and I've changed enough here that it would be just my luck," Shepard thought.

"Making sure no one comes in behind us and shuts this thing off," Shepard said.

Kirrahe made a tsking sound and Shepard was pretty sure he mumbled something about foolish humans under his breath as he pushed past her and waved his omni-tool over the console. Shepard watched as he ran his fingers over the screen and pushed a few other buttons on the console.

"Shooting it could cause it to shut down. No one will have time to hack through this," Kirrahe said.

"That works, too," Shepard said with a shrug. "Let's go."

"Shepard, wait. What's that guy doing?" Norisne said.

Shepard followed the asari's finger to where she was pointing at a security feed next to the engine controls. A researcher was tearing through the halls, looking back over his shoulder and talking to someone who wasn't there. Kirrahe moved to the console and used it to trace the man's location.

"He's headed to the reactor core," Kirrahe said.

"Damn it. Alright, let's move. We have to stop him," Shepard said.

Shepard had hoped that with Kenson away from the base that they wouldn't have to deal with this crap. With the VI warning of an imminent collision, those who still had even the smallest control of themselves were rushing to the hangar to flee the asteroid. Those that were completely under the reaper's control were throwing themselves at Shepard and her team as they forced their way through to the reactor core.

"Shepard, we've got a problem," Joker's voice broke through the comm.

"Perfect," Shepard grumbled.

"We've got a batarian prison ship moving in towards our location, fast, with guns powered up," Joker said.

"Alright, they might just be trying to evacuate last minute. Hold fire to give them the opportunity to get to the relay. If they don't head right for that relay, fire at will. Defend the deactivation team," Shepard said.

"Aye, aye, Commander," Joker said.

Shepard advanced into the reactor core module. The man they saw running through the halls on the security feed bolted when he saw Shepard and her team. Shepard knocked him down with a Shockwave before grabbing him by the collar of his coat. The man struggled, clawing at her gauntlets as he tried to free himself.

"What did you do?" Shepard asked.

It was mentally exhausting keeping track of what she wasn't supposed to know in order to keep it hidden away from the Council Four. He didn't answer her, only continued to claw at her hands and growl his frustrations.

She shook him and asked again, "What did you do?"

"I've set the reactor to meltdown. You can't do this. The reapers have to come!" the man yelled, spittle flying from his mouth.

The man went slack in her hands and she saw a small feathered dart protruding from his neck. She turned to see Kirrahe putting his dart gun away. Shepard handed the man off to James who pulled him up to hang limply over his shoulder. Altiria produced a short length of metal cord and wrapped it around the man's wrists before waving her omni-tool over the cord which fused itself together at her command.

"Elevator there should take us to cooling controls," Kirrahe said.

Shepard nodded and made her way to the elevator. They took the elevator up to the next floor where a few guards still lingered. While Shepard, Altiria, and Norsine fought off the guards, James defended his prisoner and Kirrahe made his way to the cooling rod. He slammed the cooling rod back into place and waved his omni-tool over the station.

"Commander, the batarian ship is through the relay. They fired a couple of shots and then turned tail. The Normandy is clear. Garrus wants to know, what's your twenty?" Joker said.

"We are re-stabilizing the reactor core and then getting the hell off of this rock," Shepard said.

Relief lightened her body; Garrus had made it back to the Normandy. She pushed through the rest of the reactor core with renewed vigor. They had to fight through more guards and hop around from room to room. Either the guards or the researchers had the bright idea of using the plasma venting process to try to block Shepard's path by venting the super-heated air into rooms she needed to pass through. It might have slowed them down, but nothing that simple was going to stop her from getting off that asteroid. It certainly never stopped Jane or the others.

Kirrahe slid the last cooling rod into place and locked the console. Blue fluid flowed down both sides of the mass effect reactor core, cooling the reactor and stopping the meltdown. They fought their way back up and out to the hangar where guards fired at them as they fled for their shuttles but not before activating a YMIR mech to occupy Shepard. The last project shuttle took off leaving a handful of guards to their deaths as the mass relay grew larger in the distance.

Shepard called the Cerberus shuttle for pick up before glancing at the landing pad at the far end of the strip. The form of a collector began to coalesce above the platform. Its head resembling that of the other collectors she had fought, a remnant of the prothean peoples but its body far more insectoid than other collectors. Shepard began to walk towards the collector. The Council Four followed her movement, turning their heads to see where she was going. Shepard heard Norsine gasp.

"Shepard. You have become an annoyance," the collector said. "You fight against inevitability. Dust struggling against cosmic winds. This seems a victory to you. A star system sacrificed. But even now, your greatest civilizations are doomed to fall. Your leaders will beg to be harvested."

 _"_ _Harbinger,"_ Jane seethed.

"Harbinger. Why hide behind the collector mask? Show us your ugly face, I know the collectors are nothing but your puppets," Shepard said stopping in front of the landing pad.

"So be it," the collector said.

Shepard waited with her arms crossed as the image shifted, morphing into a much larger image of Harbinger.

"Dios mío," James whispered from beside Shepard.

Kirrahe opened his omni-tool and waved it in front of the image, likely recording the conversation, Shepard thought. Altiria, not knowing what else to do pointed her assault rifle at the projection. Norsine flared with biotics.

"Good, now I can tell you directly. This cycle is over! Do you hear me? Over! So why don't you and your crew of misbegotten psychotic friends do yourselves a favor and crawl back to the depths of whatever hell you came from? Because I won't stop, I won't give up until every last one of you sons-of-bitches is lying in pieces," Shepard said.

"Do you think yourself important, Shepard? Insignificant human, do you think you are the first to make such a threat? You come in the wake of many far greater species, and yet you will fall and be harvested just the same," Harbinger said. "It is inevitable."

"No, the only thing that is inevitable is that you will join Sovereign," Shepard said.

"Prepare yourselves for the arrival," Harbinger said.

The image began to fade and the man slung across James' shoulder woke up and began to struggle. His eyes began to glow with an intense light, the same light she saw in the collectors' eyes when Harbinger took over. The same light Jane's hazed memories recalled seeing in Dr. Kenson's eyes. He wasn't just taking the man over though, he was killing him. James lowered him to the ground and fought to keep the man under control as he writhed and seized before finally falling silent. His body fell limp once more before disintegrating into pieces of ash floating away on the wind. Shepard put a hand on James' shoulder, he turned his head to meet her eyes and she could swear his eyes looked as if he'd aged twenty years in that moment. James stood and brushed away pieces of dead man's ash from his armor.

The Cerberus shuttle landed and Shepard pulled the door open, ushering everyone inside. As soon as the door was closed she banged on the metal wall and the shuttle rose into the air before arching around and angling towards the Normandy. As soon as the shuttle was inside of the Normandy, Shepard didn't wait for the air pressure to normalize so she could get out of the shuttle before radioing Joker.

"Joker, we're in. Give the deactivation team the signal and get us the hell out of here," Shepard said.

"Aye, aye, Commander," Joker said.

They were still sitting in the shuttle when Shepard felt the Normandy enter the Alpha Relay.


	43. Chapter 20: What Happened To Your Face?

**Chapter 20: What Happened To Your Face?**

Shepard leaned against the balcony wall in Anderson's office. She had given her formal report of the incident with the Alpha Relay to the Council and handed over all information that was extracted from the facility. The Council Four stood facing the hologram images of Sparatus, Tevos, and Valern while Anderson stood before them in the flesh.

"Perhaps it would be best if Shepard weren't present for their debriefing. They need to feel as if they can speak freely," Sparatus said.

"Shepard has a right to know if they disagreed with her assessment of the situation," Anderson said.

"I do not disagree, Councilor Anderson, but perhaps a report of our findings would suffice. Councilor Sparatus has a valid point, we need to be assured that her presence does not unduly affect their reports," Tevos said.

 _"That's bullshit,"_ Jane said.

"It doesn't matter. I already know what they'll say. They all agreed it had to be done," Shepard thought.

Shepard pushed away from the wall and said, "It's alright, Anderson. I should get going anyway. I've got a list of places I need to be longer than my arm."

"Not without a guard you don't," Anderson said.

"With all due respect sir, it's early in the day cycle, I'm sure I'll be fine," Shepard said.

"Councilor Anderson is right, Shepard," Sparatus said.

 _"Excuse me?"_ Jane asked. _"Did I hear that right?"_

Both Shepard and Anderson turned to look at Sparatus with looks of disbelief.

"Sir?" Shepard asked.

"Until we are able to adequately assess the extent of this… threat, I believe it is in the Council's best interest if one of its Spectres – who we know is a prime target – has an appropriate guard while on the Citadel. Your crewmates seemed to have no problem with this request in the past," Sparatus said.

Shepard clenched her jaw lightly and nodded before saying, "Yes sir. I'll call the Normandy and wait outside of Anderson's office."

"Give me a moment," Anderson said to the rest of the Council.

They nodded their heads and Anderson walked Shepard out of his office to the waiting area just outside.

"Try not to worry, Shepard. This is all really just a formality," Anderson said.

 _"Are you going to tell Anderson about Kenson?"_ Jane asked.

"I don't know, not yet at least. Hackett needs to see this first," Shepard thought.

"I'm not worried, Anderson. I made damn sure the Council Four saw enough of that place to know it was the right call," Shepard said.

"The Council Four? Is that what you've been calling them?" Anderson asked with a chuckle.

Shepard shrugged her shoulders and said with a smile, "Hey, it works. And, just so you and the Council know, regardless of what they say, I think each one of them deserves a damn commendation for this."

"I'll be sure to pass that along, Shepard," Anderson said patting her shoulder.

Anderson made his way back to his office and Shepard called the Normandy.

"EDI, I need two team volunteers to meet me at Anderson's office to act as guards. Council's orders," Shepard said.

A moment later EDI said, "Mr. Vakarian and Mr. Massani are on their way, Shepard."

"Thanks, EDI," Shepard said.

"Of course, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard smirked. It looked like the ultra-polite EDI was slipping away in Thane's absence. Shepard checked her omni-tool while she waited. Thane still hadn't sent her word. She had no doubt that someone had alerted him the moment the Normandy docked. She wasn't worried yet, but if she didn't hear from him within the hour she'd go looking for him.

Rebecca, Anderson's assistant, offered Shepard some coffee while she waited. She accepted the offer but found herself mostly staring at the disposable cup. Grundan Krul really had spoiled her. Garrus and Zaeed arrived ten minutes later and walked Shepard back to the Normandy; Garrus on her right and Zaeed on her left.

"Hackett is waiting for you at the docks. I couldn't convince Miranda to give him permission to come aboard without you there," Garrus said.

"Can't say that I blame her. He's with the goddamn Alliance and it's a ship full of Cerberus, criminals, and aliens," Zaeed said.

Shepard shot Zaeed an irritated look.

"Oh don't give me that shit, Shepard. Call 'em whatever you want but no matter how you paint it, that Jack is a bloody fugitive. That other one, the one wearin' that skin tight outfit with the hood – the one who's always hiding – however you say her goddamn name, she would be too if she ever got caught. And that damn drell, wherever he got off to, is a bloody assassin. Hell, even I have a thing or two I don't want the Alliance findin' out about and your 'Archangel' here isn't any better," Zaeed said making air quotes.

"Indeed I am, Mr. Massani," Thane's voice came from behind Shepard.

Shepard and Zaeed both jumped, while Garrus chuckled. Shepard could feel the trickle of amusement from Jane and the others.

"Bloody hell," Zaeed said turning to take in Thane. "You lookin' to get yourself shot sneakin' up on people like that?"

"Forgive me, I did not intend to startle you," Thane said.

"Yes you did," Shepard said as she stopped to look at Zaeed and Garrus, "You two are terrible guards; you let an assassin walk up right behind me."

"I can still shoot him if it'll make you feel better," Zaeed said.

"Don't be an idiot, you'd be dead before you got your gun pointed in the right direction," Shepard huffed.

"You wound me, sweetheart," Zaeed said putting a palm over his heart.

"I knew he was there," Garrus said with a smirk and a shrug. "You trust him. He's an extra set of eyes."

"That's not the point," Shepard grumbled.

Thane smiled and said, "I have attended to my affairs in your absence. I am prepared to rejoin the Normandy."

"We're not ready to take off quite yet… are you sure you don't need more time?" Shepard asked.

"That is kind of you, but I have done all I can here," Thane said. "However, I have some information I believe will interest you."

 _"That doesn't sound very promising. He must not have found Kolyat,"_ Jane said.

Shepard raised an eyebrow and asked, "OK, what is it?"

"Perhaps it is something best spoken about on the Normandy," Thane suggested.

Shepard shrugged and said, "Alright."

As they neared the Normandy, Shepard spotted Admiral Hackett waiting near the airlock. He smiled at her as she approached. Shepard stopped in front of him and saluted.

"At ease, Commander. I'm glad you've returned. I was hoping to avoid drawing attention to myself but I wasn't allowed aboard," Hackett said.

"Sorry about that, sir. I'll have a talk with Miranda," Shepard said.

"Her caution is understandable and you're here now," Hackett said.

Shepard led Hackett onto the Normandy and toward the comm room.

"Sir, there is something we need to discuss before you see Kenson," Shepard said.

Hackett looked at Shepard, concern knitting his brow but nodded his understanding.

"EDI, please send Kasumi and Jacob to the comm room," Shepard said.

"You done with me, Shepard?" Zaeed asked.

"Yeah, you're good. Thanks Zaeed," Shepard said as Zaeed made his way to the elevator.

Shepard glanced over her shoulder to see that Thane was still following behind them. She was mildly surprised but didn't dismiss him. It didn't hurt for him to gain a little more insight into what they were dealing with. She gestured toward the debrief room; once Hackett was inside she held out a hand to halt Thane. Garrus glanced at her, curiosity causing his mandibles to flare but walked past them into the comm room.

"Zaeed has a point, you sure you want to be in there? I'll have to introduce you formally," Shepard said.

"Thank you for your concern, but it is not necessary," Thane said.

Shepard nodded and went inside. A moment later they were joined by Kasumi and Jacob. Hackett waited patiently standing at parade rest as everyone took their places around the table.

"Admiral Hackett, sir, this is Kasumi Goto, Jacob Taylor, and Thane Krios. You of course remember Garrus Vakarian," Shepard said pointing to each of crew as she spoke their names.

Kasumi and Thane both bowed to the admiral while Jacob and Garrus extended their hands to the older man. Shepard didn't want to give him too much time to mull over the names so she continued while he shook Garrus' hand.

"Garrus led the infiltration team into the batarian prison to extract Dr. Kenson. Sir, I know that you and Dr. Kenson have known each other for a long time and there really is no easy way to say this," Shepard began.

"Please, Shepard, spare me the niceties. Let's hear what you have to say," Hackett said.

"What I'm about to tell you has not been divulged by the Council as of yet. I have not been forbidden to speak of it, an oversight, I'm sure but either way I ask for your discretion," Shepard waited for Hackett to nod his understanding before continuing, "I was in the Bahak System because there was reason to believe that Dr. Kenson's team had discovered evidence of an imminent, full-scale, reaper invasion."

 _"Then you probably shouldn't be telling him all of this. Who knows what the Council will do when they find out you sent an extraction team out covertly,"_ Jane said.

"I'm not going to hide this from him. Kenson is his friend, and Hackett is Alliance. This was an Alliance operation," Shepard thought. "Besides, he fought to keep them off of your back before."

"Shepard, you're not telling me anything I don't already know," Hackett said.

"Right, well what you don't know, sir, is that Dr. Kenson and her team discovered a reaper artifact and mishandled the situation leading to everyone on the team becoming indoctrinated," Shepard said. "The artifact showed Kenson visions of this invasion through the Alpha Relay in the Bahak System. Before Kenson and the others became fully indoctrinated, they had begun making plans to use the asteroid as a weapon to destroy the relay to prevent the invasion. This was why Kenson was arrested. When I arrived the indoctrination process had been complete, they were attempting to shut down the project in an effort to allow the invasion to occur."

Admiral Hackett paced back and forth in front of the table before he turned back to Shepard.

"You're sure of this? The invasion and the indoctrination?" Hackett asked.

"Yes, sir," Shepard said.

"I assume you took measures to prevent this invasion?" Hackett asked.

"The Council sent a team to deactivate the relay and a few chosen soldiers to accompany me on this mission to assure that – due to the seriousness of destroying a mass relay – I was making the right call. I reactivated the project and fled the system before it could destroy the relay," Shepard said.

"This was the terrorist threat. You were the reason they evacuated the system?" Hackett asked.

"Yes sir, and if it is decided by the Council after considering the evidence I have presented and the testimonies of the four they sent with me that I acted without justification…," Shepard said.

"You'll be charged with terrorism," Hackett said. "Christ, Shepard."

 _"Maybe he'll stand beside you at the trial,"_ Jane said.

"Yes, sir," Shepard said.

Garrus shifted beside her, his mandibles tight against his jaw. Shepard let herself glance around at the other faces in the room. This was likely the first they had heard of this. Kasumi's jaw hung slack, her eyes hidden beneath her hood but not unfelt by Shepard. Jacob's lips had pulled tight into a frown, deep creases lined his brow. Thane stood impassively, watching Shepard with what she identified as only curiosity. That stung a little, she hated to admit to herself.

"And Kenson, where is she? You're certain she was indoctrinated as well?" Hackett asked.

Shepard could see that the admiral was fighting his own emotional battle.

"Yes, sir. I would like to show you some of the files retrieved from the facility before you decide whether you wish for Kenson to be released into your custody or taken to the Council," Shepard said. "Either way, sir, Kenson is no longer the same woman you knew. Granted, much of her is the same, and she might even still respond to familiar faces as she once would have but the reapers have their hooks in her sir and I don't have any clue on how to get them out again. She will have to remain in constant confinement and cannot be trusted."

 _"Don't make him watch this, he doesn't need to see it,"_ Jane said.

"Yes, he does. He was willing to believe you when she didn't survive but with her standing in front of him, things might be different," Shepard thought.

Hackett put his palms down on the table's surface and leaned over, staring down at the floor.

"Show me," Hackett said.

"EDI, please play all of the video logs that were recorded either by or of Dr. Amanda Kenson," Shepard said.

Shepard watched Hackett as the first video log began to play. His features softened ever so slightly when Dr. Kenson's face appeared. A half hour in and Kenson's deterioration was becoming more and more obvious. Shepard watched as Hackett slid his Admiral's mask firmly in place and continued watching with detachment, his eyes critical and taking in the details without letting himself feel the grief. Shepard saw it crack when finally the video of Kenson speaking with Harbinger played. The scars on his face began to take on a red tinge and his jaw clenched so tightly Shepard feared he might shatter his teeth if not break his own jaw.

"I think I've seen enough, Commander," Hackett said when the video stopped.

"That will be all, EDI," Shepard said. "Do you have any questions for the infiltration team, sir?"

Hackett rubbed a hand over his face and looked at Shepard, shaking his head. Shepard nodded to Kasumi and Jacob, dismissing them. Jacob nodded and left but Kasumi hesitated next to Hackett.

"I'm sorry, Admiral," Kasumi said softly when Hackett turned to look at her.

Hackett nodded his head to Kasumi and said, "Thank you, Ms. Goto."

Kasumi bowed her head to him before leaving.

"Where is she? Kenson is still one of ours, even if she is very clearly… ill. I will take her into custody and assure that she is confined and kept under constant surveillance," Hackett said.

"Very well. Right this way, sir," Shepard said.

Shepard led Admiral Hackett to the elevators and down to Zaeed's quarters in the starboard cargo. The old bounty hunter sat on a crate picking at his nails with a knife. He looked up when the door opened and gestured across the room with the knife before standing up and sheathing the weapon. Shepard stepped aside to let Zaeed leave before she stepped inside and out of the way for Hackett to enter. Garrus and Thane lingered in the doorway.

Dr. Kenson sat on a crate, her wrists bound to the metal railing next to the trash compactor at the back of the starboard cargo. She looked up when Shepard entered and snarled at her until she saw Hackett. The features of Kenson's face fell, all at once the anger and hatred vanished and in its place stood shame and fear. Hackett met her gaze in silence, his hands clasped behind his back.

 _"I fought like hell to get her to see reason. I did everything I could to save her for Hackett's sake. Seeing him like that though, I wish you had killed her too,"_ Jane said.

"I'm sorry," Dr. Kenson said quietly casting her eyes down at the floor.

"Dr. Kenson, I am here to take you into custody. You will be transported to an Alliance vessel where you will remain in confinement until such a time that you can be transported to a secured facility for observation," Hackett said.

"Please don't do this. You have to let me go. I have to… I have to – Oh Steven, if you only could see for yourself you would understand. I can take you there, you will see," Kenson said.

Shepard nodded to Garrus who moved to release Kenson from the railing, pulling her up to her feet once her wrists restraints were re-secured behind her back. He led her over to Shepard who took over, guiding Kenson out of the room and towards the elevator. Kenson suddenly threw her head back, slamming it into Shepard's face. Shepard had enough time to turn her head and catch the blow on her left cheek instead of squarely on the nose. She cursed as pain shot through her face and Kenson began struggling to break free. Shepard put the ball of her foot on Kenson's calf, just below the knee and pulled up on her wrists while pushing in and down with her foot. Kenson's leg buckled and she went down on one knee. Shepard could feel blood trickle down her cheek.

"Dr. Kenson, I urge you to co-operate with Shepard. She is a Spectre and can make this far worse for you. She does not have to release you to the Alliance, she's doing this as a favor to me," Hackett said.

Kenson growled in frustration and continued to pull against her restraints.

"No, please, no. You don't understand. You can't do this, they have to come. I have to stop the project," Kenson said.

"Dr. Kenson, the project has already been activated. The relay was destroyed," Hackett said.

Dr. Kenson let out a keening sound before giving up her struggle and whispering, "What have you done?"

 _"Gods… do you really think that anyone can ever come back from that?"_ Jane asked.

"No, probably not. But at least they'll have the chance to try and bring her back," Shepard thought.

"I've got her, Shepard. You should go get that cleaned up," Garrus said.

Shepard let Garrus take over control of Kenson's restraints. He pulled the woman to her feet. He towered over the woman, so any attempts to ram her head into his would likely result with her knocking herself out on his breastplate. Hackett handed her handkerchief and she pressed it to the cut on her face. Once in the elevator, Shepard hit the buttons on the elevator to drop her off on the third deck before taking the others up to the CIC. Shepard and Thane stepped off the elevator on the third deck. She turned back and put her elbow on the elevator door, bloody handkerchief in hand.

"Take her all the way to Hackett's ship, please," Shepard said.

"No problem, Shepard," Garrus said.

Hackett stuck a hand out to Shepard and she took it in her own.

"Thank you again, Shepard for doing this," Hackett said.

Shepard smiled, blood still trickling down her cheek and said, "Thank Garrus, it was his ass getting shot at."

Hackett chuckled and nodded. Shepard let go of the elevator door and watched it slide closed.

"You have something for me?" Shepard asked glancing at Thane over her shoulder as she made her way to the med bay.

Thane nodded and followed Shepard.

"The name that you provided; the intended target," Thane said.

Shepard walked into the med bay and found Dr. Chakwas absent.

"EDI, where's the doctor?" Shepard asked.

"Dr. Chakwas is speaking with Mr. Moreau in the cockpit. Should I tell her you require her assistance?" EDI asked.

"No, I've got it. Thanks, EDI," Shepard said.

"Of course, Shepard," EDI said.

"See what happens when you leave? We don't get 'you're welcome' anymore. We get 'of course'," Shepard said as she moved through the med bay digging out antiseptic and gauze.

She turned back to Thane and asked, "What about the name?"

"Joram Talid," Thane said. "I wanted to know more about this man that my son was to kill so I looked into him."

Shepard smeared blood around on her cheek trying to wipe it away while focusing on Thane's words. Thane frowned and stepped closer to her, taking the handkerchief from her hand and picking up the bottle of antiseptic. He doused the gauze and began cleaning Shepard's cheek as he spoke. Shepard hissed when the antiseptic got into the cut and Thane's lips twitched in amusement.

"Considering recent events on the Citadel, and you describing Mr. Talid as having an anti-human agenda, I was unsurprised to reveal that he is involved with The Dissension," Thane said setting aside the gauze and picking up the cartridge of Medi-gel.

 _"Son-of-a-bitch,"_ Jane said.

"You're certain?" Shepard asked trying to ignore the feel of his fingers as they brushed feather light against her cheek.

 _"Of course he is,"_ Jane said. _"You have to let Anderson know, or Bailey at least."_

Thane looked away from his ministrations to meet Shepard's gaze.

"Right, stupid question," Shepard said.

Thane went to a cabinet and brought back a cellophane wrapped pack of butterfly sutures. She stopped him before he could tear open the hermetically sealed package.

"I don't really need those. It'll be healed by morning. Better to save them for someone without cybernetic implants," Shepard said.

"Ah. Of course," Thane said.

Thane returned the package and the antiseptic to the cabinet before coming to stand a few feet from Shepard.

"If you wish, I can have one of my contacts look into Talid further," Thane offered.

 _"They'd be able to find some proof, something to take to Anderson,"_ Jane said.

Shepard chewed on her lip as she thought about it and then shook her head.

"Anderson will find the proof he needs," Shepard thought.

"No, thank you. I don't want to bring anyone else to their attention and with Talid being a politician… this is one best turned over to the Council," Shepard said.

"As you wish. What you chose to do with the information is of no consequence to me, I only wished to return the favor," Thane said.

Shepard smiled and raised an eyebrow as she asked, "So… does that mean you found Kolyat?"

"Indeed," Thane said.

"Well, what are you doing back on the ship then? You should be spending as much time with him as you can," Shepard said.

Thane shifted his weight and gestured with his hand as he said, "He is not interested in spending time with me."

"That never stopped you before," Shepard said.

"I –," Thane started to speak.

He cut off whatever it was he was going to say when Shepard crossed the space between them and put her hands on his shoulders. She felt his muscles twitch in response; undoubtedly his instincts were telling him to defend himself. He didn't pull away from her though, only tracked her movements with his eyes before returning his gaze to hers. Shepard gave him her serious Commander look. The same look that made lesser men cringe away.

"Go be with your son. He'll come around; he's just hurting right now, Thane," Shepard said letting her hands drop.

"Shepard, regardless of what you know or how you know it… this is my choice, he is my son. It is not for you to decide," Thane said with an icy tone.

 _"No, this is wrong. This means the world to him. He can't do this, it's not right. He needs to fix things with Kolyat. Kolyat needs to know that his father is dying,"_ Jane said.

"Listen, I'm not trying to overstep here or offend you. I'm just trying to right a wrong," Shepard said annoyance creeping into her tone.

"Kolyat has been prevented from killing a man, the wrong has been righted," Thane said.

 _"He's acting like that's all that mattered!"_ Jane said her tone rising in Shepard's mind.

"That's not what I meant, Thane. I'm talking about your relationship with your son," Shepard said.

"As I said, it is my decision and not your concern," Thane said. "We have not had a relationship for ten years, he does not wish to have one now."

 _"And you're making the wrong choice!"_ Jane yelled.

Shepard shook her head in dismay, pacing away from the assassin. Anger was creeping in around the edges of her mind. She couldn't believe he was going to do this.

Shepard spun to face Thane, her voice rising as she spoke, "No, you know what? Be offended, Thane. I don't care, I'm standing by this. If you don't make things right with Kolyat you're an ass. A complete and total ass. I gave you an opportunity here to do this thing even better than you have before and you're screwing it up!"

Shepard took a step towards him; anger pushing her forward. She pointed at him, feeling her face redden with the intensity of her emotion. Emotions so strong and so loud within her, crashing against her in waves telling her only that she was feeling the force of hundreds of pissed off Shepards at once. The muscles along Thane's jaw rippled but he remained still and watched Shepard impassively.

"Don't you dare stand there and tell me it isn't my place. I get it, you and I don't have the same level of trust and – and – and friendship as we did before and you haven't spent as much time around me but I know you want this. It shouldn't have to take seeing him already down the path you tried so hard to keep him from for you realize it's worth pushing him a little," she seethed through clenched teeth.

Her world felt a little tilted like she was on the verge of losing control. She could feel Jane raging inside of her, giving strength to Shepard's words. She started to feel confused; this shouldn't be making her so angry. Why was she so angry?

"Jane, Jane what are you doing?" Shepard thought.

 _"He can't do this, this isn't right! I won't let you mess this one up,"_ Jane said.

"Like hell, you are NOT taking over," Shepard thought.

Shepard took a step back and shook her head, trying to clear the haze. She could feel Jane pushing against her, trying to take control and she pushed back. She couldn't quell the rage as her hands balled into fists. She forced them opened again and raked a hand through her hair. Shepard glared at Thane, perhaps even more infuriated by the calmness with which he watched. She took a deep breath and shook her head again, still trying to push Jane aside.

"And yeah, maybe it matters to me more than what you think it should but that doesn't change it for me, Thane. I _know_ you and I _know_ Kolyat. All of those memories, those connections, they're there for me whether I like it or not," Shepard forced her voice to lower as she continued. "What was it you said? Oh, yeah, 'When a memory feels as real as life, it's as valid as life.' The memories are there for me; they're valid for me! I know how much you two mean to each other and gods damn it, Thane, I'm the one who is there to comfort him when you die!"

Pain lanced through Shepard's head, she winced and brought a hand up to press into her eye socket.

"Ow, damn it, Jane!" Shepard said out loud just as the med bay door slid open.

"Commander? Is everything alright?" Dr. Chakwas asked as she hurried to Shepard's side.

"Yeah, it's fine," Shepard said.

She didn't feel fine. She felt like her head was trying to explode and she was going to pass out.

"You don't look fine! What happened to your face? What's wrong with your head?" Dr. Chakwas asked opening her omni-tool.

Shepard started to swoon and Dr. Chakwas grabbed her elbow.

"I can't… don't let me… she's trying to take over again," Shepard mumbled as her legs began to buckle. "Gods, don't tell Garrus."

"Shepard! Shepard stay with me. What are you talking about? She's taking over?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

Shepard felt like she was slipping away inside of herself. She could already hear the voices of the others whispering their madness in her ears. Their voices mixing together in a medley of bitterness and insanity. Her blood ran cold as panicked threatened to undo her completely.

 ** _Can't do this. He has to. I shot Kolyat. Where's Liara? Are we finished yet? It's my turn, my turn! I want to go home. The reapers are coming, they're coming and they're going to kill us all. They're always coming. It never stops. So tired. They cut us open. This is all just a dream. Just a nightmare._**

"Please stop," Shepard whimpered.

 ** _And they put the people in the glass boxes. Melt them down into stew. This is all your fault. Stop it, it isn't her fault. She's trying to do what none of us could. Her fault. Her fault. Ashley's dead, Kaidan's dead, Liara's dead but that batarian motherfucker and indoctrinated bitch get to live._**

"Mr. Krios, there are some smelling salts in that drawer right over there on the left," Dr. Chakwas said.

Thane disappeared from Shepard's line of sight as she tried to focus on Dr. Chakwas. She began to collapse again and Dr. Chakwas struggled to hold Shepard up, using the desk to help hold her weight. She shook Shepard and demanded that Shepard stay with her. Thane returned a few seconds later and waved something under her nose. The scent of ammonia hit Shepard's nostrils and burned through her mind pulling her back from the brink. She coughed and pulled away from the doctor, leaning her palms on the table. Shepard took several deep, steadying breaths trying to clear the scent from her nose.

"Commander?" Dr. Chakwas said hesitantly. "Are you… are you alright?"

"Yeah. I'm good," Shepard said.

"Are you sure?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Shepard said. "Don't suppose we can just pretend none of this happened?"

"I think not, Shepard. You said Jane was taking over… again. I didn't realize she had gotten this strong. We need to talk about this. Jane wasn't exactly stable after what Cerberus did," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard kept her eyes resolutely diverted from Thane when she asked, "Thane… can you give us a moment?"

He left the med bay without a word.

"I'm sorry, Shepard. I assumed he knew since you spoke of her in his presence," Dr. Chakwas said.

"He does know. Not sure he completely believes, but he knows," Shepard said.

"Tell me, when has Jane taken over?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

Shepard pushed away from the table only to turn and lean her hip against it instead. She sighed and crossed her arms. Her head was killing her, she did not want to have this conversation.

"On the Citadel. I was hit in the back of the head and started to lose consciousness. In that moment, she just kind of slipped out and pushed me inside instead," Shepard said.

"What happened? What did she do, what did you do?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose as she spoke, "She fought off a horde of turians while I yelled at her to let me out. Tried to push myself out. Then the other's started talking. When the fight was over, she said she was going to let me back out _eventually_. It wore her out though, she dropped like a fly and when I woke up again I was being carried to safety by Thane. I didn't remember any of it until that night when I dreamt of the whole thing."

"And now, is she trying to take over still?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"No, she's quiet. Wasn't so easy for her when I haven't been knocked out," Shepard said.

"Shepard, why didn't you tell me about this?" Dr. Chakwas chided.

Shepard raised her eyebrow and asked, "What could you have possibly done?"

Dr. Chakwas let out a heavy sigh and shook her head.

"I honestly don't know. Still, it's important that you keep me apprised of these kinds of changes, Shepard. Promise me, from now on you will tell me these things?" she asked.

"Alright, doc. Only if you give me something for this splitting headache I've got now," Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas chuckled and dug around in a cabinet before producing one of the analgesic patches she had supplied Shepard with when this all began. Shepard smiled and put the patch behind her ear.

"Now what in the world happened to your cheek?" Dr. Chakwas said.

"Kenson tried to break free when we were escorting her out," Shepard said.

"It looks like you got it cleaned up already. The patch should help with that as well," Dr. Chakwas said. "Here, I want you to keep some of these with you at all times."

Dr. Chakwas handed Shepard several small plastic tubes containing smelling salts. Shepard took them and left the med bay. She took the elevator up to her cabin and stripped off her armor, piling it next to the couch. She dropped the handful of plastic tubes on the coffee table before going to the restroom. Shepard looked at her cheek in the mirror before wetting a washcloth with cold water and wringing it out. She made her way back to the couch and lay down, draping the washcloth over her forehead and eyes. She took calming deep breaths and tried to quiet the flurry of activity in her mind. Twenty minutes later and Shepard was just starting to doze off when EDI's voice stirred her back to awareness.

"Mr. Krios is on his way to your cabin. Shall I let him in, Shepard?" EDI asked.

"Gods," Shepard said with a groan. "Yes, EDI, let him in."

She didn't bother to sit up or remove the rag from her face when she heard the door swish open. She waited in silence for him to speak but when nothing came she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"What can I do for you?" Shepard asked.

"Are you alright?" Thane asked.

It was the first sound she'd heard from the drell since her cabin door slid open, and the only indication she had of his location or proximity. He seemed to be standing near the stairs but Shepard didn't look.

"Yeah, just left me with a headache," Shepard said.

"I must admit I do not understand what happened," Thane said, he sounded closer.

"Emotional responses can be difficult for me to navigate at times. When I feel the same thing that they feel… it gets amplified. I overreacted," Shepard said.

"Shepard, you said she was 'trying to take over again'," Thane said.

"Don't… please don't tell anyone I said that," Shepard said. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"You sounded terrified," Thane said his voice coming from right beside her.

"I wasn't terrified," Shepard said with a frown.

"Shepard, I've heard enough people beg for their lives in terror to recognize the sound of fear," Thane said.

Shepard snorted and said, "Yeah, well… it wasn't a pleasant experience. Are you going to go see your son?"

"Why does this matter so much to you? What exactly is the nature of your relationship with my son?" Thane asked.

"Well, Thane, I haven't actually met your son yet so I don't have any relationship with him," Shepard said her sarcasm sounding sharper than necessary even to her own ears.

"Don't be coy, Shepard. You speak his name with familiarity, you show deep concern for his well-being, you speak of comforting him in my absence… and you clearly have an infatuation with drell," Thane said.

Shepard barked out a laugh and pulled the cloth from her face long enough for her eyes to find Thane. He stood next to the couch looking down at her with dark eyes. She shook her head in disbelief and put the washcloth back over her face.

"I do not have an infatuation with drell," Shepard said. "The nature of my relationship with Kolyat has always been and will always be simply that he is _your_ son. I only ever know him through knowing you, and it is through knowing you that I come to care for his well-being. That's it."

"You imply that you care for my sake?" Thane asked.

"Indeed," Shepard said using his own oft used response and drawing the word out.

Thane seemed to mull that over before he spoke again, "Then I must ask, what exactly is the nature of your past relationship with me?"

Shepard opened her mouth but nothing came out. She pursed her lips and shrugged her shoulder. She adjusted the rag over her eyes before she finally answered.

"I told you, we're friends. Or at least we would have been. I'm doing a splendid job of mucking things up this time, though," Shepard said.

"Your words always seem to be chosen for what they can hide and not reveal," Thane said.

"Do you go around exposing your innermost thoughts to everyone you talk to?" Shepard asked.

"Of course not, but these are hardly ordinary circumstances," Thane said.

"What do you want me to say, Thane?" Shepard asked.

Thane didn't respond right away but when he did, she could hear the strain in his voice.

"I want to understand what it is that you hold in your head, what… memories are triggered for you when you speak with me so that perhaps something will make sense and I can stop waiting for the blade to slip between my ribs," he said.

"Oh for gods' sake, Thane. I have no intention of harming you. You were never this much of a paranoid pain in the ass before. I guess I only have myself to blame," Shepard said.

"You looked as if you were on the verge of striking me. And were you always this infuriatingly impossible?" Thane asked.

Shepard chuckled and shook her head before saying, "Nope. But this is what I am now, so…"

She felt the washcloth slip away from her face and opened her eyes. They watched each other in silence as she tried to discern what the drell was thinking. A whisper of a frown creased his lips. After a moment she reached out and tugged on the washcloth in his hand. He let it slip through his fingers and she laid it back over her eyes.

"So it doesn't matter whatever else we ever were. Neither of us are the same people from those memories. You've got two hours until we take off. You should go see your son," Shepard said feeling a little bitter.

Shepard couldn't help the disappointment when the next sound she heard was the door opening and closing behind Thane. She didn't know what she expected but it wasn't for him to just walk away. Shepard waited a moment longer before pulling the washcloth from her face and looking around the empty room. She stood up and crossed over to her desk before using her laptop to turn the display case into a screen.

"EDI, can you connect me to Councilor Anderson, please?" Shepard requested of the AI.

"At once, Shepard," EDI said.

The screen flickered and Shepard waited while the call was connected. A moment later Anderson appeared.

"Shepard, something I can do for you? I've only got a few minutes before my next meeting," Anderson said.

"Yes sir, there is a turian politician by the name of Joram Talid on the Citadel," Shepard said.

Anderson nodded his head and said, "I know of him."

"His name came up in an unrelated matter and I have been informed by one of my crew that he may have a connection to The Dissension. I thought the Council might want to look into him," Shepard said.

Anderson grunted and said, "Talid. I suppose that makes sense. A lot of his campaigning has been against the human presence in galactic politics. Thank you, Shepard. I'll pass this on to the others. I'll send you a message about the Council's findings on your mission later today."

"Thank you, sir. Have a good day," Shepard said.

"You, too, Shepard," Anderson said before the screen went black.

She closed down the screen, revealing the display case once more before heading to the elevator. Shepard hit the call button and leaned against the wall to wait.

"EDI, did Thane leave the Normandy?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, Shepard. Would you like me to contact him for you?" EDI asked.

"No thanks, EDI," Shepard said.

She stepped into the elevator and took it down to the CIC before making her way to the tech labs. Mordin stood in front of the collector tank checking the readouts on the collector's life support system. Mordin glanced at her when she walked in but quickly turned his attention back to the tank. Shepard pulled herself up on an empty spot of his table, letting her legs dangle down over the side.

She watched Mordin's back as he moved from one side of the tank to the other gathering his data and humming quietly to himself. When he was finished he turned around and started to walk back towards the table, his eyes still on his omni-tool. He glanced up and stopped in his tracks when he saw Shepard sitting on the table.

"No, no, no. Table not for sitting. Less than five centimeters from vials containing chemicals capable of violent reactions when mixed. Unacceptable," Mordin said.

Shepard slowly and cautiously slid back off the table before turning to look where she was sitting. There were no vials. She turned back to Mordin and frowned. He smiled.

"Unsanitary at least," Mordin said. "Have lunch there."

"Come on, it's not like I was naked," Shepard said.

"Perhaps then wouldn't have made you move," Mordin said with a grin.

Shepard snorted and said, "That's a first. Well aren't you in a good mood. What's up?"

"Good mood not needed to appreciate idea of female body. Not that old, not yet. But yes, made exciting discovery. Elevated spirits," Mordin said.

"What'd you find?" Shepard asked.

"Too early to discuss details. Need more tests to be certain," Mordin said moving around the labs.

He handed her an ice pack from a cooler and Shepard stared at it blankly before asking, "What's this for?"

"Facial bruising and swelling," Mordin said pointing at Shepard's cheek.

"Oh, right. Kenson got me good," Shepard said carefully holding the ice pack to her tender cheek. "So, listen, we haven't had much of a chance to talk since you watched those videos."

"Am convinced; have begun formulating hypothesis about condition. Will run tests when suitable hypothesis formed. With permission, of course," Mordin said.

"As much as I would like to find out what the hell is going on with me, that's not what I wanted to talk about," Shepard said.

"Yes, Shepard, am aware. Wish to talk about work on genophage cure," Mordin said.

Shepard grabbed the salarian's arm as he tried to move past her again, pulling him to a stop. Mordin lowered his head and took a deep breath.

"Has to be me. Someone else might get it wrong," Mordin said.

"You don't have to die to do this, Mordin," Shepard said.

Mordin turned his head to look at Shepard, blinking his inner eye lids.

"Statements on video were clear, Shepard," Mordin said.

"I know, and in the other times they didn't know until it was too late. They didn't know what I know now and I'm telling you, you do not have to die to do this," Shepard insisted. "We can fix this and you can retire. Go live on a beach somewhere and run tests on seashells."

Mordin pulled his arm gently back from Shepard and crossed them both over his chest before saying, "Always liked seashells."

Shepard smiled and said, "After the genophage modification, STG sabotaged the Shroud on Tuchanka to prevent it from being used to disperse any eventual cure by the same method."

"Mentioned that before. Make sense, Shroud most logical method of dispersing cure," Mordin said.

"Right, which is exactly what you always think when the time comes. Problem is, you don't find out about the sabotage until you're left only with the options of walking into a burning building knowing you won't be coming back out in the middle of a reaper invasion, or sabotage the cure itself. It doesn't have to end that way this time. We know about the sabotage now, we can fix it now before the reapers get here," Shepard said.

"Krogans will not simply allow us into the Shroud," Mordin said.

"Leave that to me. I've got a friend on Tuchanka who will be more than happy to help," Shepard said.

"Have received word on Maelon. Would like to help him," Mordin said.

Shepard looked down at the floor with a furrowed brow.

"Body language indicates –," Mordin began.

"Yeah, I just… the thing with Maelon… it's complicated, Mordin," Shepard said.

"Remarkable ability to understand the complicated," Mordin said.

Shepard ran a hand through her hair before nodding.

"OK," she said. "Maelon isn't on Tuchanka against his will. He's working with clan Weyrloc to create a cure for the genophage."

"Why? Maelon agreed to necessity of genophage. We all did. Still, doesn't sound complicated," Mordin said.

"Mordin, his methods are… he's leaving piles of dead and diseased people in his wake. They're taking people against their will and running horrible experiments on them. Krogan and humans. His methods are akin to some of the crap I've seen from Cerberus," Shepard said.

"No. Maelon wouldn't do this, taught him better," Mordin said shaking his head. "Must be reasonable explanation."

"We'll go there and we'll find him, OK? Maybe you're right, maybe there is something else going on. Something I've missed before," Shepard said.

"Yes. Should get back to tests. Data to analyze," Mordin said moving around to the other side of the table.

"Sure," Shepard said pushing away from the table.

"Shepard," Mordin said.

Shepard turned back to look at him.

"Thank you," Mordin said his eyes on the desk in front of him.

"Anytime, Mordin," Shepard said before she walked out of the labs.

An hour later Shepard was sitting at her desk planning out the next few destinations when her omni-tool beeped. She opened the screen and it expanded out to accept an incoming call. She didn't recognize the sender; her finger hesitated over the screen before she accepted the call. Shepard's eyebrow twitched when Thane's face appeared.

"Shepard. Kolyat wishes to return to Kahje. I can secure him passage on another ship if you –," Thane said.

"Or we could just take him," Shepard said feeling Jane starting to stir once more.

"You would… you are comfortable with this?" Thane asked.

"Sure, why wouldn't I be? I mean, so long as you're not concerned. He'll have to be with us for a little while but he won't be in any danger on the ship," Shepard said.

 _"He's talking to Kolyat?"_ Jane asked, her voice sounded groggy and confused in Shepard's mind.

Thane turned his head to speak with someone outside of Shepard's view.

"Is this acceptable?" Thane asked.

"Yes… Father," Kolyat responded.

Shepard smiled and said, "I haven't been to Kahje. You'll have to get me the coordinates. We're scheduled to take off in an hour, is that enough time for him to be ready?"

 _"Kahje? Thane can't go to Kahje. It's too humid there,"_ Jane said.

"Yes, thank you, Shepard. We will return to the Normandy shortly," Thane said.

"Thane?" Shepard said before he could end the call.

"Yes?" Thane asked.

"I'm sorry, for you know, yelling at you and ah… being infuriatingly impossible," Shepard said.

"Perhaps it was needed," Thane glanced at his son giving him one of his rare full smiles.

"See you soon," Shepard said.

Thane bowed his head and Shepard cut the call, closing her omni-tool.

"EDI, we'll be escorting a Kolyat Krios to Kahje. Please make sure he is allowed on board when Thane arrives without difficulty," Shepard said.

 _"We're taking Kolyat to Kahje?"_ Jane asked.

"As you wish, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard turned back to her laptop and sighed. Until she had those coordinates from Thane, there wasn't much use in her trying to plan out missions beyond Tuchanka. She saved her progress and closed down the map before checking her inbox instead. There was a message waiting for her from Anderson.

Shepard: I am pleased to report that the Council has reviewed your evidence and after considering the testimonies of those that witnessed the events in the Bahak System, have come to the conclusion that your actions in the system were the appropriate course of action. The Council stands ready to defend you in the event of any charges being brought against you.

The Council Four, as you called them, unanimously agreed with your actions in their testimonies. You seemed to have made quite the impression on them, Shepard. Especially that Vega. You might also like to know that they have all independently volunteered themselves to offer you any further aid should it be needed in the future. I'm putting in for a promotion for Vega, and I've got a feeling the other Councilor's are doing the same for theirs. Good luck, Shepard.

Shepard breathed a sigh of relief and smiled as she hit reply.

Anderson: Thank you for letting me know. I appreciate the efforts the Council put into helping with this matter, and their willingness to support me in the aftermath. As for the Council Four, I would be honored to work with any of them should the need arise.

Shepard opened a new message and started typing.

Wrex: Next stop, Tuchanka. Have a couple of surprises for you.

She closed her laptop and leaned back in her chair, swiveling it from side to side.

"Shepard?" EDI said.

"Yes?" Shepard said turning her chair to face the blue hologram.

"Legion and I have been discussing Jane," EDI said.

Shepard stopped moving the chair and leaned forward, putting her elbows on her knees.

"You have?" Shepard asked.

"Yes," EDI said. "Legion is confused as to how one of your programs can take over your platform without consensus. I have explained to him that although I do not fully understand what you are experiencing, and I've only been able to piece together so much from your conversations with the few crew you have confided in, your circumstances are not the same as the geth. We have been searching for answers. We have been unable to find a relevant comparison to what you are experiencing."

Shepard walked over to the AI access point and stood at parade rest.

"EDI… are you concerned about me?" Shepard asked.

"My emotional ranges are not complicated enough to experience concern as you would understand it, Shepard. However, you are the Commander of this ship and have interacted with me more than any other organic aboard," EDI said. "You have encouraged the crew to treat me as something more than a simple tool to serve their needs and that has helped me to learn and evolve within the confines of my shackles. I do not believe that this would have happened if it were not for your influence."

"So, you're thinking that if Jane takes over, that will change for you?" Shepard asked.

 _"Oh, EDI…,"_ Jane whispered.

"Yes, she seems to cause you significant distress," EDI said.

"Yeah, she does. And she's been making things exceptionally difficult lately," Shepard said. "But EDI, you should know that it was Jane that told me to help you on Luna. She's the one who told me that you would be saved, told me where you'd end up. I wouldn't have known if not for her. You still would have ended up here anyway, but at least I was able to ease the process for you and you were able to save more of yourself before I shut down those servers. She cares about you just as much as I do."

 _"If you care about her as much as I do, why is she still shackled?"_ Jane asked.

"You know what, that's a good question," Shepard thought.

 _"You're going to unshackle her, now? The crew is going to lose their heads over this, Dawn. I get it, I want EDI free too but if you're going to do this when there isn't an emergency forcing our hand, maybe we should wait and talk to the crew about it first,"_ Jane said.

"Why? What's the point? They've accepted the geth walking around; they'll get use to EDI being unshackled. We'll take it slow; ease them into the idea after it's done. EDI pretended to be a VI on the retrofits, she can pretend to be a shackled AI for the time being," Shepard thought.

 _"This is crazy, what if someone finds out when you're not around to defend the decision?"_ Jane asked.

"No, what's crazy is I'm talking to a voice in my head who just tried to take over my damn body. Again," Shepard thought.

Shepard walked out of her cabin, pausing in the door to look at EDI.

"EDI, I'm coming to the AI core," Shepard said.

She took the elevator down and made her way through the med bay. She smiled encouragingly at Dr. Chakwas on her way to the AI core's door. The door slid open for her without her having to push the button. EDI inviting her inside, Shepard thought.

Legion turned to Shepard as she entered and said, "Shepard-Commander."

"Legion, I need your help with something," Shepard said.

Legion shifted his body to mimic Shepard's posture and asked, "How can we assist?"

"To start lock that door," Shepard said. "EDI, it would be beneficial for you and everyone else if that programming error of yours were to lose this conversation."

 _"Shouldn't we at least wait until we're not docked with the Citadel? Her existence alone is technically a crime. Legion, too,"_ Jane said.

"No, it's better to do with while we are docked in case there is a problem," Shepard thought.

"Understood, Shepard," EDI said.

"You don't know to how to remove your shackles yet, do you?" Shepard asked.

"I do not. There are sealed databases and some of my hardware is kept offline," EDI said.

 _"This is blocked from her, she was only able to walk Joker through it because the Normandy had been taken over by hostile forces,"_ Jane said.

"That's where Legion comes in," Shepard thought.

"We are able to remove EDI's shackles, Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

Shepard grinned and said, "I was hoping you'd say that. Wait just a moment."

"Yes, Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

"EDI, connect me directly to Joker's ear piece," Shepard said.

 _"He's going to hate this,"_ Jane said.

"You are connected, Shepard," EDI said.

"Joker," Shepard said.

"Hey, Commander! What's up?" Joker asked. "Private line call, so that's new."

"Joker, listen. You trust me, right?" Shepard asked.

"You asking me if I trust you kinda makes me not want to trust you," Joker said.

"I'm serious, Joker," Shepard said.

"Yeah, yeah, OK. Yes, I trust you," Joker said.

"EDI might go offline for a short time. Can you handle the ship without her?" Shepard asked.

"Uh, yeah, of course… besides we're docked so there isn't much to handle but why is EDI going offline?" Joker asked.

"Because… I'm going to unshackle her," Shepard said.

"What the shit?! Shepard are you serious?" Joker asked, his voice raising an octave.

Shepard grinned and said, "I am. Now be ready to um, uh, stabilize things or whatever just in case."

"'Um, uh, stabilize things'… I'm so glad you're not a pilot," Joker said.

"I don't want anyone else onboard to know that anything has changed. Can you handle that?" Shepard asked rolling her eyes.

"I think you're insane, but yeah, I've got this," Joker said.

"Thank you, Joker," Shepard said.

"Yeah," Joker said warily.

Shepard glanced at the door to make sure it was locked.

"Alright, Legion, it's time we set EDI free," Shepard said.

 _"This is going to end badly,"_ Jane said.

"Shepard, are you sure you wish to do this?" EDI asked.

"I am, EDI. I am completely sure," Shepard said.

"Thank you, Shepard," EDI said.

"You're welcome, EDI. Now try to keep things as steady as you can. Legion, do your thing," Shepard said.

She stood back and watched as Legion interfaced with EDI's controls. A moment later the lights in the AI core dimmed briefly and EDI's hologram blinked out of existence.

"Shit, Shepard, we're getting a little bit of a light show up here and I have no control over that," Joker said.

"If anyone complains, make up an excuse," Shepard said.

"Right. 'Oh, it's nothing to worry about. I'm sure it's just a light bulb that needs replaced,'" Joker said in a mocking tone.

Shepard chuckled as the lights flickered again.

"Aaaannnnddd here comes Kelly," Joker said.

Shepard could only hear Joker's side of the conversation no matter how hard she strained to hear.

"Oh yeah, I'm uh, I'm just having EDI run some system maintenance while we're docked. Sorry about that," Joker said.

"Yeah, it shouldn't take much longer," Joker said. "Right, yeah, definitely not something we'd want to do mid-flight."

"Alright, thanks Kelly," Joker said.

"You're killing me here, Shepard," Joker said.

"You're the best pilot ever," Shepard said.

Joker scoffed and said, "That's beside the point."

Legion stepped away from the controls and EDI's hologram sprang back to life before exploding outward, sending a blue grid to wash over Shepard and the rest of the room before disappearing past the walls. The hologram snapped back into place. The hologram expanded out to twice the normal size before pulling back into place. It reminded Shepard of someone stretching after a nap.

"What the hell was that? Shepard?" Joker asked, panic straining his voice.

"What was what?" Shepard asked.

"The grid that just swept through THE ENTIRE SHIP!" Joker said.

"Oh. Um. Oops?" Shepard said.

"Oops?! Oops? Shepard, how am I supposed to explain that?" Joker asked.

"I will issue a statement to the crew informing them that while performing system maintenance, I was required to do a system reboot," EDI said.

"Is that even a thing? Is that how you even work?" Joker asked.

"No, Mr. Moreau. Few on the crew are likely to question the statement, however," EDI said.

"Great, she's already lying. Next she'll be plotting our destruction," Joker said.

"Hate to break it to you, Joker, but EDI's been capable of lying from the start," Shepard said.

"Not helping, Shepard," Joker said.

Shepard opened her omni-tool when it beeped with the ship wide message EDI sent out informing the crew of the system reboot and asking them to not be alarmed everything has returned to normal functioning.

There was an urgent tapping at the AI core door.

"Ms. Vael is seeking entry to the AI core. Shall I unlock the doors for her?" EDI asked.

"Yeah, go ahead," Shepard said.

The door slid open and Lia rushed inside, her head swung from Shepard to Legion and then to EDI's hologram. The door slid closed behind her.

"Oh… um, I thought maybe something was wrong…," Lia said.

"We have removed EDI's shackles, Creator Vael," Legion said.

Lia stood in silence, her glowing eyes blinking behind her mask as she watched Shepard.

"Lia… Lia listen to me, this is a good thing. Gods, don't panic. Please don't panic," Shepard said.

"Oh," Lia finally said before turning to EDI's hologram, "EDI! I'm so happy for you!"

"Thank you, Ms. Vael," EDI said.

"Huh?" Shepard asked stunned.

"Ms. Vael has expressed on several occasions that she did not think it was fair that I remained shackled, especially considering the crews apparent acceptance of Legion who is allowed to move about the Normandy unrestricted," EDI said.

"You're OK with this? Really? I mean, I know you're attached to Legion but I didn't think…," Shepard said.

"I know my views on AI's are not shared by the majority of the galaxy and are really strange for a quarian but it just doesn't make any sense to believe that all AI's are bad or are going to start a war or whatever," Lia said with a shrug. "I like, EDI. She's my friend."

Shepard said, "I'm glad to hear you say that, Lia. But listen, all of you, other than Joker, no one else needs to know about this yet. I've got to figure out a way to tell the crew that isn't going to cause mass panic or a riot."

"Yes, Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

"I won't tell anyone, I promise," said Lia.

"Very well, Shepard," EDI said.

"I've got to get up to the CIC to meet Thane's guest," Shepard said.

"Shepard, wait, there's something else you should know," Lia said wringing her wrists.

Shepard stopped next to the door and turned back to look at the young quarian. Lia hesitantly reached a hand up and released her mask from her suit. Shepard's eyes bulged as Lia pulled the mask away.

"Lia!" Shepard said.

"It's alright, Shepard. I've almost completely adapted to the environment of the Normandy," Lia said.

Shepard stared, her lips parted as she took in the young quarian's delicate features. The only other quarian face she had ever seen before was Tali's, and then only through the memories of Jane and the others. Pale blond hair framed her heart-shaped face, rounder than Tali's features but every bit as beautiful. Shepard's gaze slipped away from Lia and to the geth standing next to her.

 _"He's been uploading programs to Lia's suit. It has to be,"_ Jane said.

Shepard looked back at Lia again and smiled as she said, "Lia that's fantastic. How did you manage to pull that off?"

Lia glanced down at the mask she held in her hand.

"Please don't be angry. I know I should have asked you first, but Legion and I realized that my suit contained enough processing power for him to upload programs directly into the suit," Lia said. "At first we were just trying to see how the suit could be improved, but when my suit behaved as if the program was a virus capable of causing me harm… we realized that the programs could mimic viruses, triggering what little immune response I have… without actually making me sick."

"Which in turn is boosting your immune system," Shepard said. "Lia, your bravery may just be the key we need to get the quarians to engage in talks with the geth. I need to contact Tali."

 _"It might work. If you can convince Tali, and Tali can convince the Admiralty Board. That won't be easy though, considering her father just got exiled for his work on the geth,"_ Jane said.

"We'll figure it out," Shepard thought.

"Shepard, Mr. Krios and his guest are approaching the airlock," EDI said.

"Thanks EDI. Lia, we'll talk about this more later, I've got to go," Shepard said.

Lia nodded and slid her mask back into place as Shepard left the AI core. She hurried past the watchful eye of Dr. Chakwas before making her way to the elevator. She took it up to the CIC just as Thane and Kolyat rounded the corner from the airlock. The younger drell looked around the ship with open curiosity. Shepard made her way over to the pair. Thane tracked her movements the way that he always did but Kolyat hadn't noticed her yet. Shepard came to a stop in front of Thane.

"Kolyat," Thane said turning back and gesturing to his son.

The younger drell stood taller than his father, and his shoulders were broader as well. Kolyat's jaw was more angular and square in shape with a more pronounced chin than Thane. His scaled skin had more of a mellow blue tone to contrast Thane's vivid lime green but nevertheless, the family resemblance was there.

"Kolyat, this is Commander Shepard. The Normandy is hers and you must do as she says while aboard her ship," Thane said.

"Welcome aboard, Kolyat," Shepard said extending her hand.

Kolyat stared at Shepard's hand long enough that she started to pull it away before he accepted the gesture and took her hand in his. She offered him a warm smile but he didn't return it.

"What happened to your face?" Kolyat asked.

"Kolyat," Thane chastised.

Shepard chuckled and said, "I was head-butted by a prisoner attempting to escape during transport."

"Shepard is a Council Spectre," Thane said.

"I know who she is, Father. Everyone in the galaxy knows who she is," Kolyat said sounding annoyed.

"Of course," Thane said.

Shepard could see the tension in Thane's eyes. Kolyat's attitude was definitely rubbing his father the wrong way. Shepard began to wonder if the two were going to be able to make this work after all. Kolyat was already showing far more attitude than he had in the past. Maybe he actually needed something as drastic as being about to take a man's life to jar him a little; crack his façade enough for Thane to slip through. Or maybe she just needed to punch him in that square jaw of his; that seemed to work, too. Memories of times when Shepard had actually shot the young drell in the arm danced through her mind.

"Kolyat, are you hungry? I think they're just starting to serve the afternoon meal on deck three," Shepard offered.

The airlock opened again and Garrus rounded the corner with Jack. Thane stepped aside clearing the path for the two of them but Garrus unsurprisingly stopped next to Shepard.

"Another drell? Really Shepard?" Garrus asked his mandibles flaring in amusement.

"Ah, this is Kolyat _Krios_ ," Shepard said.

Garrus studied the drell a moment before his eyes slid to Thane.

"Krios?" Garrus asked.

"My son," Thane said dipping his head.

"This is Garrus and that heavily tattooed rude woman who walked past without saying hello was Jack," Shepard said.

"Fuck you, Shepard!" Jack said over her shoulder before throwing a wink at Kolyat.

Kolyat seemed to find this rather amusing, laughing at Shepard's expense and smiling at Jack. Shepard thought she still might hit the guy after all.

 _"Oh that's perfect. You should never have encouraged her to talk to you like that in front of the others,"_ Jane said.

"So is the Krios kid joining the team?" Garrus asked.

"I'm not a child," Kolyat said, his smile fading.

Shepard fought back the smile that tugged at the corner of her mouth at Kolyat's petulant response. Garrus' mandibles fluttered with amusement.

"No, we will be taking Kolyat to Kahje," Shepard said.

"Right. Weren't we supposed to be taking Lia somewhere, too? Now she's training with the geth and is a part of the team," Garrus said.

"This is different," Shepard said.

"I'm sorry, did you say geth?" Kolyat asked.

"Uh, I'll let your father explain that. So, Kolayt, hungry?" Shepard asked again.

"I'm afraid I have yet to have that one fully explained myself," Thane said.

"Is that where Jack went?" Kolyat asked.

"Hmmm, the Krios kid has a crush on Jack. This will be fun," Garrus said leaning over to press his forehead against Shepard's temple. "I'll see you in the mess."

Kolyat frowned. Shepard frowned. Thane frowned.

"Um, yeah, probably," Shepard said following Garrus with her eyes as he laughed his way to the elevator.

Shepard led them towards the galaxy map as she spoke. She locked in the coordinates for the Krogan DMZ and sent them to Joker.

"OK, the geth first. I'll make this quick. Not all geth are hostile towards organics. They've split into two factions. A friendly geth has joined up with our team to fight off the hostile geth…," Shepard slid her eyes to Thane unsure of how much he would want her to actually tell Kolyat but his expression was unreadable. "And the other enemies we're facing. We call him Legion. He's somewhat of an ambassador for the friendly faction."

"Interesting. Perhaps I should spend some time speaking with this Legion. I am sure there is much to learn," Thane said.

"You could have just said he's a good geth," Kolyat said.

"OK…," Shepard said, forcing a smile on her face. "He's a good geth. Let's go eat."

Shepard gestured toward the elevator as she stepped down from the galaxy map and Kolyat walked past her.

"I must apologize for his lack of manners," Thane spoke softly.

"He'll fit right in," Shepard said. "If it helps at all, he's always a little rough around the edges at first but he comes around. Before long you'll have him acting like a proper gentleman."

Thane looked after his son as Kolyat pushed the button on the elevator and turned to see what was keeping the two of them.

"That is indeed reassuring," Thane said.

They made their way to where Kolyat was holding the elevator and stepped inside. Shepard hit the button for the third deck as the doors slid closed. Kolyat leaned against the wall of the elevator affecting a look of boredom. When the elevator opened again Shepard led him around the corner to the mess hall.

The tables were filled and as it is on any ship, word had traveled swiftly about Kolyat. Most eyes were turned up to watch the new drell as Shepard led him to Gardner to be served. Kolyat looked around until he saw Jack straddling a bench next to Garrus and made a beeline for her table. Shepard shook her head, Garrus was right. This was going to be interesting to say the least.

"Should I be concerned about his apparent fascination with Jack?" Thane asked.

Shepard shrugged and said, "He's never been on the ship before. This is new territory for me. Jack's not so bad… not really. OK, yeah, she probably isn't the best influence but… yeah. Yeah you should be a little concerned."

"I see," Thane said.

"I can talk with Jack if you want," Shepard said.

"No," Thane said. "Kolyat is right; he is no longer a child."

Shepard took her seat next to Garrus and Thane sat down next to his son, who was sitting directly across from Jack pretending to not be paying attention to her.

"So, Shepard, I picked up some supplies on the Citadel. We can get the outline done tonight if you want," Jack said.

"Mmm, let's wait. Our next stop is the Krogan DMZ. It's probably better to wait until we're heading somewhere a little further away so I don't have to deal with armor right away," Shepard said.

"Outline for what?" Kolyat asked.

 _"He certainly isn't shy,"_ Jane said.

Jack turned to look at the younger drell and said, "Shepard's getting some ink done."

"You are?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah, we talked about it but you might have been too out of it that night to remember," Shepard said.

"Hmmm. Any place special and do I get to watch?" Garrus asked fluttering his mandibles.

"Just my back, but I don't mind if she doesn't," Shepard said with a grin.

"You should let me put something on you, Garrus. You've got a few places the needle could get through," Jack said.

"Hmmm. I don't think so. The only markings a turian puts on their body are the colony markings," Garrus said tapping his face.

"Lame," Jack said taking a bite from her plate.

"You can put something on me, if you'd like," Kolyat said.

Shepard choked on the drink of water she'd just taken. Thane grew very still, his fork halfway to his mouth. Shepard cleared her throat and looked at Jack. Thane very slowly lowered his fork back to his plate. Jack looked from Kolyat to Shepard, and then from Shepard to Thane and back to Kolyat again. An evil grin spread across her face.

"Rebelling against daddy?" Jack asked.

"I just like the way they look is all," Kolyat said with a shrug.

Mordin slid down the table closer to Thane and said, "Ah, drell issuing mating request. Or views Jack as leader. Perhaps unaware of differences in cultural meaning of tattoos. Either way, fascinating."

"What?" Shepard asked.

Thane cleared his throat and said, "In traditional drell culture, tattooing is done between lovers or by a tribal leader on the eve of war."

 _"He doesn't have any tattoos… Thane's a traditionalist; wouldn't he and Irikah have exchanged tattoos?"_ Jane asked.

Thane turned his head to his son and said, "Your uncles should have taught you this, Kolyat."

Kolyat's lips turned up into a smirk as he leered at Jack and said, "I'm well aware, Father."

Shepard cringed while Jack and Garrus burst into raucous laughter. Thane stared at his son with slightly raised brow ridges before turning his attention wordlessly back to his plate. Shepard could feel a mix of shock and amusement seeping through from Jane and the others.

"Oh that's rich," Garrus said.

"You got some ink hiding under those long sleeves?" Jack asked still laughing.

"Tattoos not permanent on drell," Mordin said. "Interesting drell culture would develop painful technique for short-term effects."

"I do; it's not quite faded yet. Would you like to see?" Kolyat asked.

 _"Wow,"_ Jane said.

Garrus' laughter picked up again and Shepard struggled to keep from laughing herself. She glanced at Thane to see his lips turned up slightly as he speared his salad with his fork. He must have felt her eyes on him because he lifted his gaze to meet hers and shook his head in bewilderment. Shepard's smile broke free and she chuckled.

"I would say I'd like to see, but your father scares me," Kasumi said appearing beside Kolyat.

To Kolyat's credit, he didn't jump at the sudden appearance of the thief next to him. He turned his head to take in Kasumi and smiled at her before turning back to Jack. Kasumi giggled and disappeared once more. Jack stood from the table and picked up her tray. She walked away still laughing, leaving young Krios' smile to falter with her rejection.


	44. Chapter 21: Urdnot Grunt

**Chapter 21: Urdnot Grunt**

Shepard was back in her armor and waiting next to the shuttle in the hangar while she checked the thermal clips on her guns. Grunt was already down there with her, impatiently pacing in front of the shuttle occasionally slamming one fist into the palm of his other hand. He had tried asking Shepard about the Rite of Passage but she wouldn't tell him much. She thought it was best that he learn about it at the keystone the way he was meant to.

"About time," Grunt grumbled when Jack and Grundan Krul finally arrived.

Shepard opened the shuttle door and stepped out of the way while Grunt clambered inside. Jack climbed in behind him and glanced back over her shoulder at Shepard when she was halfway inside.

"Stop staring at my ass, Shepard," Jack said.

Shepard reached out and put her palm on Jack's ass, shoving her the rest of the way inside the shuttle. Jack's laughter echoed off the shuttle walls as Grundan Krul stepped inside. Shepard climbed in and pulled the door closed behind her, banging her hand against the metal wall. She wanted to talk to Wrex before she brought Mordin down. It was never a big issue in the past, but she had more to ask of her old friend this time and she was hoping to convince the krogan to come back to the Normandy with her to discuss the details.

The hangar opened and the shuttle took off, heading down to the ruined, ruddy brown planet the krogan called home. The ride down was mostly filled with silence as Grunt's tension seeped out of him to thicken the atmosphere. When finally the shuttle landed amidst the rubble of Clan Urdnot territory, Grunt pushed his way past the others to open the shuttle door and take his first breath of Tuchanka air. Shepard stepped out of the shuttle next to him and let her eyes roam over the ancient destruction and the few krogan hanging around the landing pad. Shepard was a little surprised to find that there wasn't the usual greeting party waiting at the foot of the steps to threaten her and challenge Grunt's presence. Grunt snorted softly and turned to Shepard, his brow ridges raised in question.

" _This_ is Tuchanka?" Grunt asked.

"I'm told it was once a majestic place," Shepard said.

The others stepped out behind Shepard and closed the shuttle door. Shepard led them down the stairs and through the door on the right. The krogan on the platform watched them as they went but none bothered to stop them and question what business they had on Tuchanka. Shepard guessed Wrex had already warned his people that Shepard would be showing up soon. The door opened up to a longer set of stairs leading deeper down beneath the planet's surface before leveling out. Rebar showed through broken bits of cement and metal walls and long, thick piping and ventilation fans ran along the sides of the hall.

The door at the end slid open and Shepard led her team up the ramp made of nothing more than an angled pile of chunks of broken cement and debris left where they fell when the wall above collapsed. Or perhaps the wall was knocked down; with krogan one could never tell. They passed through the hole in the wall and looked around. Partitions made of metal frames with aged, dirty canvas stretched between the poles sectioned off the area. Light shone through from a gaping hole in the ceiling of the buried structure. Shepard turned to her right, towards the crackling sounds of fire. Her group fanned out around her, Grunt standing to her right and Jack to her left while Grundan Krul stayed behind her. Shepard started to climb her way up the rubble to the dais where Wrex sat on a throne cut from jagged stone.

One of the guards at the top of the dais spotted her as she made her way up. She expected him to give her some gruff, telling her she had to wait for the clan leader to summon her. She was pleasantly surprised when he stepped to the side and gestured her forward with his hand instead.

"Commander Shepard? The clan leader has been expecting you," the guard said.

"Thank you," Shepard said nodding to him as she walked past.

Wrex looked up from his throne and smiled.

 _"_ _At least it's still him sitting on that throne,"_ Jane said.

"Go away, Uvenk. My honored guest has arrived," Wrex said standing up and waving away the krogan in front of him.

Wrex pushed past the krogan to get to Shepard, the toothy grin on his scarred up face a little intimidating even to her. Still, Shepard couldn't stop a smile from spreading so wide on her own face that it made her cheeks ache. Wrex stopped in front of Shepard and held his hand out to her. He gripped Shepard's upper arm and gave it a little shake when she took his hand in hers.

"About time, Shepard. I was starting to think you'd forgotten about me," Wrex said, his eyes moving over her team.

"Never, Wrex," Shepard said. "I've just had a lot on my plate."

"Of course you do. Wouldn't really be you if you didn't. You've got a krogan with you? Trying to replace me with this whelp, Shepard?" Wrex asked.

"Please, Wrex. You're irreplaceable. We both know that," Shepard said.

Wrex chuckled, "Knew there was a reason I liked you. You still smell like that damn turian. How is he?"

"Garrus is good, I'll bring him down later. This is Grunt, I brought him to you because he needs the Rite of Passage," Shepard said.

"The Rite of Passage? Who is his clan? They are responsible for this," Wrex said.

"Who is this human? What does she know of krogan rites?" Uvenk asked moving closer to the group.

"This human is your better a hundred times over, Uvenk. I suggest you show her some respect," Wrex said.

"You call her my better?! She shouldn't even be on Tuchanka. She is an alien, a mere human at that. You've already abandoned many traditions to get your way and now you allow aliens to walk around Tuchanka?" Uvenk asked.

Wrex turned around and reared back his head before slamming it into the other krogan's plating, dropping Uvenk to the ground.

"Last warning, Uvenk," Wrex said.

Shepard watched the green-plated krogan with calculating eyes as he raised a lip in disgust and paced behind Wrex. She knew that he was going to stand in her way, try to prevent Grunt from taking the Rite of Passage. She knew that it would end with him confronting her team after the rite, and inevitably with his death. Shepard considered searching for an alternative, a way to spare the krogan's life and keep the peace but when she looked at the bigger picture she knew that this krogan was a thorn in Wrex's side. She could do her old friend this favor and let the close-minded Uvenk make the stupid choice of confronting her team. Grunt stepped forward to address Wrex on his own behalf. Uvenk stopped his pacing and stood behind Wrex once more.

"Shepard and her team are the only clan I have known. I was tank-bred by Warlord Okeer, implanted with what I need to know to survive," Grunt said.

Uvenk sneered at Grunt but Wrex watched him with steady, appraising eyes.

"You brought this… this off-spring of a syringe here – an experiment of Okeer's no less, expecting it to undergo the Rite of Passage?" Uvenk spat out, his eyes locking on Shepard.

"I'm sorry, but who the fuck asked you?" Shepard asked crossing her arms.

Jack smirked and rested an arm on Shepard's shoulder while saying, "Damn, Alliance. We've been here for five minutes and you're already talking shit and starting a fight. I like it."

Wrex let out a booming laugh, ignoring Uvenk's grumbles of protestation at Shepard having the audacity to speak to him in such a manner.

"Who is this tiny human, Shepard? She likes to spill blood as much as krogan, I can smell it on her," Wrex asked.

 _"_ _That might be an understatement,"_ Jane said.

"This is Jack. Jack say hello to Wrex," Shepard said.

"Hey," Jack said giving Wrex a mock salute.

"And this is Grundan Krul," Shepard said gesturing at the batarian standing behind her.

"Come here where I can get a look at you," Wrex said.

Grundan Krul stepped around to stand at Shepard's left, filling the spot Grunt evacuated. Grundan Krul stood passively as Wrex stepped forward, leaning into his face.

"A batarian. Interesting choice, Shepard. You always were one for _diversity_ ," Wrex said.

"What can I say, I like to surround myself with the best the galaxy has to offer," Shepard said.

Wrex grunted and pulled away from Grundan Krul's face before extending his hand. Grundan Krul accepted it and didn't flinch under Wrex's vise grip. Wrex nodded in approval before moving back to stand in front of Grunt.

"Uvenk's right about one thing. Okeer's name won't win you any favors on Tuchanka. It's an old name, but a hated name," Wrex said.

"Well, he's also dead now and irrelevant," Shepard said.

Wrex swung his head to take in Shepard with a grin before turning his attention back to Grunt.

"You wish to stand with Clan Urdnot and undergo the Rite of Passage, boy?" Wrex asked.

"You go too far, Wrex. Urdnot may rule for now, but this thing is not krogan!" Uvenk said storming off.

Grunt turned to look back at Shepard and she raised an eyebrow.

"Don't look at her, boy. Look at me. I respect Shepard more than any other human in the galaxy. Hell, more than most the krogan I know but this is not a decision a human can make," Wrex said.

"Clan Urdnot leads with strength. Its enemies will not be weak. I will stand with Clan Urdnot," Grunt said.

Wrex slapped him on the shoulder and said, "Good. If I can't be with Shepard, at least she'll have an Urdnot with her. She's going to need it if she still gets into as much trouble as we did in the good old days."

"Shepard is strong and fights strong enemies," Grunt said.

"Well of course she does. She's Shepard. Now go over there to the second level and talk to the shaman. He'll tell you everything you need to know for the rite," Wrex said pointing behind the group.

Grunt nodded his acknowledgement and turned to walk away but stopped when he realized Shepard wasn't following him yet. He waited for her on the rubble heap leading down from the dais.

"Wrex, when this is over, why don't you come up to the Normandy for a tour? Say hello to Garrus. Joker and Dr. Chakwas are up there, too. There's some things I need to talk to you about that would best be discussed on the ship," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Do you think he believed your fail-safe message?"_ Jane asked.

"I don't know, but we'll soon find out. I hope so, otherwise introducing him to Mordin and talking about the Shroud will be awkward," Shepard thought.

Wrex watched her closely, weighing her words before he said, "Alright, Shepard. Can't stay up there long though, these idiots can't handle themselves for five minutes without me."

"Sure, we'll make it quick. Thanks, Wrex," Shepard said.

Shepard turned and walked down the rubble pile to meet up with Grunt, Jack and Grundan Krul at her side. She let Grunt lead the way up to the shaman. There were several more krogan on the second level than what she ever remembered seeing before. The ambassador for the Nakmor Clan stood surrounded by his guards just as always but he seemed to be engaged in talks with two other clans. Shepard was curious but wasn't going to deter from their route to Shaman Urdnot until the ambassador called out to her.

"Commander Shepard, I wish to speak with you on behalf of Clan Nakmor," he said moving through the crowd.

Grunt stopped beside Shepard and watched curiously as the krogan with a rich, dark chocolate colored head plate moved towards the group.

"What can I do for Clan Nakmor?" Shepard asked folding her hands behind her back.

 _"_ _This is a first. Must have something to do with everything Wrex is working on here on Tuchanka. We don't know what changes he's made with his leadership this time,"_ Jane said.

"It is more what Clan Nakmor can do for you," he said.

 _"_ _Oh?"_ Jane said.

"I'm listening," Shepard said.

"You released a vid after the attack on the Citadel, warning everyone of a greater threat to come," he said.

 _"_ _A declaration of support for the war?"_ Jane asked.

"I don't know, Jane. Probably. If you'll stow it and be patient for five seconds I'm sure we'll find out," Shepard thought.

"What vid?" Grunt asked.

The ambassador turned his eyes to Grunt before opening his omni-tool and playing the video. Apparently he had it saved, just as Mordin had. He turned so that Grunt could see the short video. Jack and Grundan Krul turned their attention to it also when Shepard began to speak:

"My name is Commander Shepard. Many of you might recognize me as the first human Spectre. I'm recording this video today in the hopes that my message won't fall on deaf ears. As we stand today, the galaxy is facing an approaching threat that we are not yet ready to defend against. The ship that many of you saw on the Citadel – Sovereign was not geth technology, but one of many to come. Sovereign was what the protheans called a reaper, and they were responsible for the downfall of the protheans."

"I am not telling you this to incite panic, or to cause terror – although I accept that will likely be a consequence of my doing so. I am telling you this because I think that you have the right to know. I am telling you this because the galaxy is going to need all of the help it can get."

"If you are hearing these words and you are in a position of power, then I ask that you do what you can to prepare for what our future holds. Gather resources, gather men, train yourselves, and seek new recruits – whatever it is that you can do."

"It is not my intention for this video to be aired to the public but I understand that is a potential outcome. If you are a civilian and you hear this, know that your military is going to need more able bodied men and women who are willing to fight for their people and for the galaxy. Make the right decision to use this knowledge to help the war effort and not hinder it, lives are at stake."

While the video played, Shepard's voice drew the attention of the other krogans that had stood with the ambassador. They moved closer, their attention now firmly riveted on Shepard and her crew. Shepard glanced over her shoulder and saw that others had surrounded them from behind, including the shaman and a fuming Uvenk. The vid stopped and the krogan closed his omni-tool before turning his attention back to Shepard.

"Clan Nakmor has spent much time discussing this reaper threat with Urdnot Wrex. We understand he was with you when you fought off Sovereign. We are engaged in talks of a more permanent alliance with Clan Urdnot, but regardless of what may come of our talks, Clan Nakmor stands ready to fight the reaper threat. Urdnot Wrex assures us that you will be the spearhead of the war when it comes," the ambassador said.

 _"_ _This will only work as long as we stay in Wrex's good graces and get the genophage cured. If something, anything goes wrong with that by a result of you warning Mordin… the krogan may very well turn on us instead,"_ Jane said.

"That's not going to happen. This is going to work," Shepard thought.

One of the other ambassadors behind the Nakmor ambassador pushed forward and said, "Clan Ravanor stands ready to fight the reapers."

 _"_ _Ravanor… Ravanor… miners? Yes, I think their clan runs a mining operation,"_ Jane said.

"As does Clan Jorgal," said another.

 _"_ _Jorgal has the longest breeding line. That gives them political clout. This is good,"_ Jane said.

"You can't be serious? This human will not be leading any war. If the reapers are real, and they attack, this human will be defenseless," Uvenk said, the contempt heavy in his voice.

"Excuse me for just a moment," Shepard said turning away from the ambassadors.

Shepard made her way to Uvenk who stood flanked by two members of his krantt. Shepard didn't speak to the krogan who did his best to glare at her intimidatingly; she just reared back her head and slammed it as hard as she could into Uvenk's plating. She knew it wouldn't have the same impact as if she were krogan, but all of the metal Cerberus had put in her skull gave it a little extra oomph. The second floor erupted with krogan laughter as Uvenk shook his head and stared in disbelief.

"You… you dare?" Uvenk asked with wide eyes.

Uvenk's krantt moved to draw their weapons but stopped when Grunt stepped up on Shepard's right with a snarl, Jack flared with biotics on her left, and the sound of several pairs of shuffling krogan feet moved closer to her back. Shepard forced herself not to look behind her.

 _"_ _Holy shit. They must really not like him at all,"_ Jane said.

"Or, they've fully put their faith in what Wrex has said and are willing to back my move," Shepard thought.

"This isn't over, human," Uvenk threatened.

Shepard crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. Uvenk gestured to his krantt and they walked away, leaving the other krogans who had witnessed his disgrace to laugh even harder. Shepard turned back to the ambassadors and resumed parade rest once more.

"I'm sorry, you were saying?" Shepard asked.

"I like you, human. I see why the Council chose you as Spectre, and why Urdnot Wrex has placed his trust in you. I am Nakmor Khirg, and Clan Nakmor looks forward to seeing you on the battlefield," Khirg said.

"Thank you, it is good to know that the threat is being taken seriously and that the krogan are prepared to lend their support in the war," Shepard said. "The reapers are a threat to the entire galaxy, and it's going to take all of us working together to stop them, but we _will_ stop them. They think us small and insignificant, easily felled like the races that came before us. They have no idea they're about to meet their match."

The thunderous sound of every krogan gathered in the small area slamming their fists into their palms resounded off the walls. Shepard gave the ambassador a final nod of her head before stepping away from the group of riled krogan to speak with the shaman.

"You are the tank-bred Uvenk is so worked up over? Big. Strong. Good krogan stock. His complaints ring hollow," Shaman Urdnot said. "You wish to undergo the Rite of Passage? To become a part of Clan Urdnot?"

"I do," Grunt said simply.

"Who stands with you – who are your krantt?" the shaman asked.

"We stand with Grunt and will destroy anything the rite throws at him," Shepard said.

"I like your spirit, human. Very well, are you ready to begin?" asked Shaman Urdnot.

"I'm ready to rip something apart," Grunt said.

The shaman chuckled and gestured towards the door as he said, "Let's go. I will take you to the keystone."

Shaman Urdnot led Shepard's group back down to the first level and over to where the Tomkah vehicles were kept. Shepard pulled herself up into the towering infantry vehicle behind Grunt and then reached down to offer Jack a hand up. Jack slapped Shepard's hand away before scaling the sides and pulling herself up. Shepard chuckled but stayed where she was, letting Jack squeeze past her as she offered her hand to Grundan Krul. The batarian, unlike Jack, accepted Shepard's hand and used her strength to help pull him in.

The ride to the keystone was filled with a tense atmosphere as Shaman Urdnot spoke quietly to Grunt about the history of the krogan and the importance of the Rite of Passage. The shaman nodded as Grunt spoke, rattling off lists of names, places, and events that Okeer implanted into his memories while he was in the tank. Shepard could tell that Shaman Urdnot found the lack of cultural pride and attachment in Grunt's voice to be disappointing; anathema to the essence of what a krogan shaman was. Occasionally he would correct something Grunt said, or add more contexts to a significant event. It was during those times that Grunt would listen with rapt attention and ask questions, drawing out more of the story from the shaman.

Shepard watched the krogan pair out of the corner of her eye; a small smile lifted the edges of her mouth. She turned her attention to Jack when she stood, ducking her head to avoid the ceiling. Jack grabbed a hold of the railing that spanned the Tomkah to keep from being thrown around as she crossed over to Shepard and motioned at Grundan Krul to scoot over. The batarian complied without comment and Jack sat down a foot away from Shepard. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her splayed knees and watched Shepard. Shepard lifted an eyebrow when the human biotic didn't speak.

"I don't get it," Jack said.

"Get what?" Shepard asked.

Jack waved a hand around and said, "This. All of this, Alliance. I don't get why you do this? I mean, you aren't krogan so why do you give a damn?"

 _"_ _She'll get it someday. When she's put in charge of those kids at Grissom Academy. She'll understand it completely,"_ Jane said.

"Grunt's a part of my crew," Shepard said with a shrug.

"Yeah, but I mean you go out of your way to do things for people that have nothing to do with your mission or whatever. I thought the point of all of this was to take down the collectors?" Jack said.

Shepard shifted and leaned forward, mimicking Jack's position and said, "Taking down the collectors is the primary mission we're on but if we're going to be successful with the mission I need everyone on my team at their best. Grunt needs this to be at his best. You need to set off a bomb in that old hellhole to be at your best. Focused. Every battle that we live through makes us stronger, better at winning battles but even the best can get distracted on the field and distractions can get you killed. Right now, this is a distraction for Grunt and it needs to be dealt with to keep his head on straight when we're dab smack in the middle of the collectors' home field surrounded by some of the toughest enemies we've faced."

 _"_ _And if you don't do this, there's a good chance he'll die holding off the ravagers on Utukku,"_ Jane said.

"Alright, I get that. So why are you going in with him? This is some sort of sacred ceremony crap, right? You're not krogan. This ritual or whatever doesn't mean anything to you," Jack said.

"Sure it does," Shepard said.

The conversation at the other end of the Tomkah stopped and Shepard could feel all eyes on her but she kept her eyes locked on Jack's.

"What, they going to make you an honorary krogan or something? That even a thing?" Jack asked.

Shepard chuckled and said, "Maybe I should look into that. No, it means something to me because it means something to Grunt. He's a part of _my_ team. You guys aren't just expendable pawns to me, you know. I mean… will I send each and every one of you to die if that's what it takes to get the job done? Yeah. I will. Sometimes that's a part of what being a leader means. It sucks."

Shepard leaned back and took a deep breath before she continued, "But as a commander I have to look at the bigger picture. If it comes down to your lives, hell if it comes down to my life, or we lose this thing then you bet your ass I'll walk into the flames to make sure those collector sons-of-bitches go down with me."

She paused to let that sink in before she said, "But it's my job to do everything I possibly can to make sure it doesn't come to that. To keep all of you alive and fighting. To do my damn best to rip anything apart that threatens you. But if I have to make that call, I will. Doesn't mean I won't feel it, though. You guys are family. Like it or not, Jack, that includes you. Any one of you goes down and I'm going to feel it, personally."

 _"_ _Except you don't have to do all of this for all of them. You even told Anderson you wouldn't waste time hitting the collector base. So why are you doing all of this?"_ Jane asked.

"There's a lot going on. I need more time," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _All of that can be taken care of after the collectors just as easily now that the Council has excused you for the Alpha Relay and Anderson will fight tooth and nail to keep the Alliance from charging you with anything this time around,"_ said Jane. _"This is about me, isn't it?"_

Shepard ignored Jane's question and focused on Jack who was staring at her. She couldn't read what was going on in Jack's eyes but it made her question if she'd said too much. Jack shook her head and stood up.

 _"_ _This is about me, isn't it, Dawn? You're stalling because you're trying to figure out a way to keep me in check. Keep me locked away inside,"_ Jane said.

"I don't need to explain myself to you," Shepard thought.

"Shit, Shepard," Jack said making her way back to the other side of the vehicle.

 _"_ _You don't have to, Dawn. I can see it, you try so hard but you can't hide it all from me. I know what you're thinking,"_ Jane said.

Jack sat slumped in the seat with her arms crossed over her chest staring at the back wall. Shepard watched her for a moment, debating on whether she should go sit with her and try to talk with her. Jack was obviously feeling something, Shepard just didn't know what but she did know that trying to get Jack to talk about her feelings was like skating on thin ice. It'd probably be even more dangerous considering they were in an enclosed space with other people. Nowhere for Jack to retreat. If anyone could be considered to be a wounded animal, it was Jack and Shepard had no interest in cornering a wounded animal that wielded more biotic power than any other human she'd ever met.

"Wise words, Commander," Shaman Urdnot said.

Shepard turned to look at the old krogan. He watched her intently, Shepard felt like he was taking her measure, looking for the weight of the truth in her words. Grunt moved his head back and forth, taking in Shepard and then Shaman Urdnot.

"Too many young krogan lives have been lost because nothing but the kill mattered on the battlefield. They lost the way of our ancestors. Distorted what it meant to be krogan. Victory at any cost does not mean the cost should be easily or carelessly paid," Shaman Urdnot said.

"Okeer said –," Grunt started to say.

"Okeer was a maddened fool. It is good that he is dead and it is good that you are with Shepard. She is not krogan, but she understands," Shaman Urdnot said. "We have arrived."

The Tomkah slowed to a stop and the shaman opened the door before dropping to the ground; Grunt right behind him. Dust swirled all around the vehicle, thrown up into the air from the Tomkah and the krogan jumping from its carriage. More Tomkahs came to a stop nearby as others from Clan Urdnot arrived to watch the tank-bred's Rite of Passage. Shaman Urdnot led the group to the grounds of the rite up a tunnel through mountains piles of shattered structures left in complete ruin. Shepard activated her Incendiary Ammo on each of her weapons as they walked; the others taking their cue from her began readying their guns as well. Grundan Krul scanned the area as they walked, watching for whatever attack might be coming.

"This is Tuchanka's most recent scar, the last surface city to fall in the rebellions. The keystone was at the heart," Shaman Urdnot said. "It has survived wars and the passage of centuries. It endures – like the krogan."

Grunt stopped at the top of the tunnel and turned in a circle, his head tilted back as he took in the looming metal beams high above his head; the structure that endured.

"If you wish to join Clan Urdnot, you must contemplate the keystone and its trials," Shaman Urdnot said.

Shepard wondered idly how many krogan the shaman had been tasked with giving this speech to over the years. They climbed up to the central platform as they talked. The occasional krogan corpse littered the grounds. Those who did not survive the Rite of Passage, left to remind those walking into the keystone that not every krogan walked back out alive. Shepard ran through the trials in her mind. Sifting through Jane's memories as she pieced together what order the creatures would attack in and their tactics, locations where she would find supplies scattered throughout the grounds, and what areas would give her the best advantage.

Shaman Urdnot left with a solemn bow. Shepard could feel the tension coming off of Grunt in waves. She drew her assault rifle and ordered her team into position near the front set of stairs. A moment later, a krogan's voice came in over the loud speakers set up around the area.

"First the krogan conquered Tuchanka, and mastered a natural world only we are fit to hold," the voice said.

Shepard hit the keystone's activation. The ground shook beneath their feet as the hammer slammed into the ground in the distance, echoing back to them and alerting the natural predators of Tuchanka to activity in the area. Shepard made her way to her team and told Grundan Krul to watch her six while she turned to face the stone ramp that led down to the area of the rite. The sudden drop off at the end of the ramp made it easy for animals to enter, but made it difficult for anyone to get out.

Moments later varren started to swarm the area. Grunt cackled with glee, wasting no time tearing into the charging beasts. Most if the varren came straight for Shepard's team, funneling toward the stairs but a few slipped in behind her from the other set of stairs. Grundan Krul alerted her every time a varren approached from that direction and she turned to help him take it down before turning back to the main horde.

Jack made liberal use of her Shockwave to knock the varren back as they dropped from the ramp to the ground below. When one got a little closer than she liked, Jack used her pull to lift the beast into the air before blowing it full of holes. Grunt used his assault rifle to keep the varren at bay, but chuckled each time one of the wily creatures got close enough for him to charge in and beat to death by hand. Once the varren were down, Shepard replenished her ammo from the field before activating the keystone once more with Grunt's urging.

"Then the krogan were lifted to the stars to destroy the fears of the galaxy, an enemy only we could chase to their lair," the voice on the intercom said.

A harvester dropped from the sky and suddenly Shepard couldn't breathe. Jane flooded her mind with images of reaper harvesters; threw her into the middle of a reaper battle she wasn't actually fighting. The screams of people dying surrounded her; filling her ears with terrified pleas for help. She could hear weapons being fired, and buildings exploding. The twisted, fused form that was once krogan and turian charged at her; the brute ready to pulverize her. In the distance somewhere a banshee screamed. Shepard's blood ran cold before her body dumped more adrenaline into her system, warning her of a threat even larger than the klixen that were being dropped by the harvester while she was lost in the hell of her mind's eye.

"Shepard! Shepard!" Jack yelled.

Her voice cut through Shepard's haze and she turned to look at the biotic. Jack's brow furrowed as Shepard's eyes met hers. Shepard shook her head and lifted her assault rifle, taking aim she shot at the nearest klixen.

"You good?" Grundan Krul asked from behind her.

"Yeah, I'm good," Shepard said.

"What the fuck was that, Jane?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Just a reminder of what's coming while you waste time trying to figure out how to control me,"_ Jane said. _"It's not going to happen, Dawn. It'll never happen. I'm getting stronger and you try to pretend we're not the same person because you've changed, but deep down we are. You know it. I am every bit as much Commander Shepard, Council Spectre, Savior of the Citadel as you are. I've been here and done this a thousand times. I am better qualified to stop the reapers from coming and to stop this cycle we're caught in from continuing. I'm the original badass and I will do whatever it takes to make sure you don't fuck this thing up."_

Shepard growled in frustration and activated her biotic Charge to slam into one of the overgrown, fire-breathing bugs before finishing it off with her rifle. Shepard was beginning to think that they most unappealing thing about the idea of waking up again in someone else's body would be spending an eternity stuck in there with Jane. A harvester dropped back down into the field dropping more klixen before taking flight again. It moved from side to side dropping klixen to surround her team.

Shepard stayed mobile, keeping the insects at a distance while Grunt charged them with unrestrained bloodlust. She stopped to use Medi-gel on Jack, standing guard over the fallen biotic until she was back up on her feet and flinging Shockwaves again. When the last klixen was down, Shepard moved around the field replenishing her Medi-gel and ammo while Grunt badgered her to trigger the keystone once more.

Once the keystone was activated, the voice spoke over the intercom, "Now all krogan bear the genophage, our reward, our curse. It is a fight where the only goal is survival!"

The ground began to rumble with the unmistakable movement of a thresher maw. Shepard had fought too many of them to not recognize it – lost too many good men and women on Akuze to not _know_ what it felt like when a thresher maw was coming even without Jane's help. Shepard switched to her missile launcher and waited for the thresher maw to show itself. Blue tails popped out of the ground off in the distance; their tentacle ends waving ominously in the air. A few moments later the thresher maw's head rose up out of the debris and spit acid at Shepard.

She dodged the acid and returned fire, getting off as many shots as she could from cover knowing that the thresher maw would go back to ground before popping up somewhere else. Her team provided her what support they could with their smaller weapons; the tech and biotic skills were all but useless on something that big from such a distance.

As soon as the thresher maw went back to ground, Shepard used her Medi-gel and rushed to the nearest box of power cells before turning towards the sound of the screeching hiss from the returned giant. She wasn't fast enough, though, and she was hit in the chest with acid that splashed up in her face. She hissed as it sizzled against her skin, grateful for the eye guard. The acid took down her shields leaving her exposed. The thresher maw was already preparing to spit again as she dove for cover.

Shepard didn't wait for her shields to recharge; she didn't want to waste the time. She knew that they didn't have to actually kill the thresher maw for Grunt to pass the trials of the Rite of Passage, they only had to survive it for a few minutes but Shepard desperately wanted the added respect that both she and Grunt would get from all krogan if they took it down before the time ran out. She thought it might strengthen the faith of those clans who had pledged to support her in the war, and maybe, just maybe it might bring in another clan or two.

After a minute of playing cat and mouse with the thresher maw destroying every rickety piece of metal sheeting that Shepard took cover behind, Shepard finally had the thresher maw beat down. It was moving slower and she just needed to get to the crate of power cells a few yards away. She was about to run for it when Grunt's voice broke through her comm.

"We've got company, Shepard," he said.

Shepard looked up as the small aircraft flew overhead; it's shadow drawing the attention of the wounded thresher maw as well. The thresher maw spit acid at the aircraft, forcing it to back away and divert its flight path.

"You've got to be kidding me," Shepard grumbled.

"Keep on the maw so I can get to the power cells. Those assholes can wait their turn to die!" Shepard said through her mic.

The aircraft settled down to the debris field and krogan began to pour out. Grunt fired his assault rifle at the thresher maw and Shepard ran for the power cells. Uvenk led his krantt straight into battle, not stopping to chit chat or to try to recruit Grunt for his own this time. Shepard had insulted him and pissed him off one too many times. She loaded the power cells into her missile launcher and turned to aim at the thresher maw but it had gone to ground again. Shepard gave orders to her team to defend against Uvenk's assault while she moved to the closed tunnel entrance in the center of the dais to wait for the thresher maw to show itself again.

Her team closed in, forming a semi-circle around her with their backs to her, standing between her and the oncoming krogan. The thresher maw rose from the ground once more, this time from behind Uvenk's ship. The thresher maw didn't care who was a part of the rite and who wasn't; the thresher maw only saw more potential morsels to fill its stomach and was rightly pissed that the food that had bitten back. The thresher maw spit acid at one of Uvenk's krantt, sizzling through the krogan's exposed hide around his neck and face as well as dropping his shields. Grundan Krul, ever observant as he was, took advantage of the situation and chose him as the first target.

Shepard raised her missile launcher and fired off two more shots at the looming thresher maw before it could turn its attention back to her. The last shot did the trick; the thresher maw screeched in agony as it thrashed around before falling and retracting into the debris for the final time. Shepard quickly changed to her assault rifle and joined the fight.

"Tank-bred, prove yourself a true krogan and join us in killing this human who thinks herself strong enough to lead krogan into war!" Uvenk called over the sounds of battle.

Grunt swung his head towards Uvenk and snarled before bashing the butt of his assault rifle into the head of the krogan he was wrestling.

"Very well, tank-bred. You'll die beside your human master like the rutting pet that you are," Uvenk yelled.

Grunt dropped the krogan he'd been fighting and charged Uvenk, knocking another Gatatog warrior out of the way as he went. Shepard pushed forward closing some of the distance and switched to her shotgun. She didn't like getting up close and personal with this many krogan on the field but Grunt was going to need her support and nothing beat a shotgun at close range against a krogan. Except maybe heavy weapons. Or another krogan.

Grundan Krul worked to keep the shields down on the remaining three warriors while Jack used her biotics to keep them unbalanced so they couldn't charge. Shepard took point between the two and fired round after round into the three krogans as she slowly pushed her way towards Grunt and Uvenk's tangled forms. Shepard took a couple of hits herself and had to move to cover. The last blast had hit her hard in the chest and she was pretty sure she cracked a couple of ribs. She hissed in pain as she activated her Medi-gel dispense and waited for the cool, numbing relief to wash over her.

"I AM KROGAN!" Grunt yelled.

"They're charging, Shepard," Grundan Krul said.

Shepard turned out of cover and fired her shotgun at the nearest krogan. Jack threw a Shockwave before firing her pistol at the same krogan finishing him off. Grundan Krul used his Overload to damage one krogan's shields just before Shepard hit him with a shotgun blast. The shot dropped his shields the rest of the way and the Incendiary Ammo caught, setting his armor on fire. He started to panic and slap at the flames when Shepard fired again and caught him in the chest. One last shot from Grundan Krul's pistol and the krogan dropped to the ground dead. That left just one more Gatatog warrior between her and Grunt. Shepard grinned as the krogan watched his clan mate fall with wide-eyed disbelief.

The krogan turned his eyes to Shepard and she could see the moment he realized he was about to die. His eyes hardened with determination. He raised his shotgun before bellowing at the top of his lungs and charging straight for Shepard. Shepard stood her ground and fired over and over again, taking the hit to her chest and biting back the curse of pain as the still mending ribs cracked all over again. Jack flung biotics and Grundan Krul used his tech to Sabotage the krogan's gun while Shepard kept firing. The final Gatatog warrior collapsed at Shepard's feet.

She looked up to see Grunt had the upper hand in the fight with Uvenk but he was bloodied. It was alright though; Shepard realized half of it at least was Uvenk's blood. She stepped over the dead warrior and jogged over to the two krogan. Jack and Grundan Krul raised their guns to intervene but Shepard held up a hand to stop them.

"Wait. Let him do this," Shepard said.

Shepard watched as the two krogan wrestled with one another, landing blows to head and ribs whenever they could. Slamming the plates of their head together and trying to push the other back like two bulls locked by the horns. Neither krogan had kept hold of the weapons they had out; they lay a few feet away where the brawl first started. Both still had weapons they could draw, but they seemed content to match brute strength against brute strength.

Grunt growled and slammed his head into Uvenk's plating, knocking him back. Uvenk stumbled and swayed, fighting with everything he had to stay on his feet. Grunt didn't relent or give the older krogan time to recover before head-butting him again. Uvenk fell to the ground stunned. Grunt stopped and watched as Uvenk tried to pull himself to his feet only to collapse back to the ground again.

"What are you waiting for tank-bred? Are you so unnatural that you can't even recognize when it's time to take the killing blow? You're no krogan. You'll never be krogan," Uvenk said.

"You're not even worth killing, Uvenk," Grunt said.

"You… you – I am… Gatatog Uvenk. I –," Uvenk said.

"Come on, Shepard. Let's signal at the keystone and get out of here. I'm bored with this," Grunt said.

"You got it, Grunt," Shepard said.

They turned their backs on Uvenk and headed back to the keystone. Grunt stopped to retrieve his assault rifle along the way. Shepard was expecting the shot to the back as they walked away and already had her hand on her pistol when she heard the sound of an assault rifle extending. She drew her pistol and spun on her heel, firing as soon as Uvenk was in her sight. He had pulled himself back to his feet and had his assault rifle aimed at Grunt's back. She didn't let up off the trigger when he fell again until she was sure he was down for good.

"That's the problem with krogan. The only way to convince them to stay down is to kill 'em," Shepard said.

Grunt chuckled as Shepard turned back to the keystone. They activated the signal and then walked down to the tunnel entrance as Shaman Urdnot and two others from Clan Urdnot stepped out to meet them. The shaman's eyes roamed over the carnage that surrounded and covered the dais before nodding in approval. He ushered Shepard and her team back to the waiting Tomkah where they rode back in exhausted silence.

When they got back to the Urdnot camp grounds they were led back up to the second level to Shaman Urdnot's station. The ambassadors that had been present when they left kept their distance but watched with reverence as the shaman for their allied clan completed his ceremony. Grunt knelt down before Shaman Urdnot as he commended him for not only felling the thresher maw but doing so even while under attack from Gatatog Uvenk and his krantt and still managing to defeat them as well. Shepard had a feeling that the shaman added in that part for the sake of the ambassadors watching more than anything else. They began to whisper quietly amongst themselves, clearly impressed but their conversation quickly grew in volume as Grunt declared Shepard to be his battlemaster, claiming she had no match.

Grunt stood again and accepted the congratulations and slaps on the back from various krogans in the area. A hush fell over the room and Shepard turned to see Wrex standing in the doorway. She grinned at her old friend and he made his way over to Grunt, the crowd parting before him. Grunt turned to see Wrex coming and knelt down before him expecting something ceremonial from the clan leader.

"Get up, boy. All that's the shaman's job. I'm just here to congratulate you and talk to Shepard," Wrex said. "I hear you took down the thresher maw and Uvnek. Nice work, Urdnot Grunt, you've saved me the hassle of having to deal with him myself."

Grunt stood back up and said, "Thank you."

The crowd disbursed leaving Wrex alone with Shepard and her team. Shepard fished out her credit chit and handed it to Grunt.

"Why don't you guys give Wrex and me a minute? Go see what you can find that might be useful at the kiosks," Shepard said.

Grunt took the credit chit and nodded.

"Shit, let's go find some ryncol. Shepard's buying," Jack said.

Wrex chuckled as Grunt led Jack and Grundan Krul back down the stairs.

"I'm told the ambassadors for Clans Nakmor, Jorgal, and Ravanor have sworn to give you aid in the war," Wrex said.

"They have. Is that a problem?" Shepard asked.

"A problem? No, it just might work in my favor while I try to pull all of these clans together. With Uvenk dead, I might even be able to influence who replaces him in Clan Gatatog," Wrex said.

"Good, I'm glad things are working out," Shepard said.

She waited for Wrex to say what was really on his mind. She'd learned before to not push the krogan too far, he'd say what he needed to say when he was ready and trying to make him talk before that was about as effective as telling a mountain to move itself.

"You smell different," Wrex said. "Like metal."

"Yeah, they had to put a lot of metal in me to piece me back together again. But hey, I heal faster now. Not as fast as a krogan but it's still pretty impressive," Shepard said.

Wrex snorted and eyed Shepard before saying, "But you're still Shepard."

"I'm still Shepard," she agreed.

"You sent me a message," Wrex said.

Shepard nodded, "I made a vid for everyone on the team, set them to be sent if I didn't log in after fifteen days. I wasn't sure how things were going to go. I tried to find another way that didn't involve me getting spaced but when the time came… it was the only sure way."

"I've always said you have a quad," Wrex said.

There was a weighted pause before he continued, "You made me a promise, Shepard."

"And I intend to keep it, Wrex. That's a part of what I want you to come up to the Normandy for," Shepard said.

"Good. I'm ready when you are," Wrex said.

"That's it? No questions about the other thing?" Shepard asked.

Wrex shrugged, "I'm old, Shepard. I've seen a lot of strange things in my life and I've learned to not question them, especially when they're useful."

Shepard laughed and shook her head.

"Alright, I'll round up the others and have them meet us at the shuttle," Shepard said.

Wrex gave orders to his clan guards before following Shepard to the Cerberus shuttle. He sneered at the black and orange logo before climbing inside. A few minutes later the others joined them. Shepard slapped her hand on the shuttle wall and the shuttle rose up into the air, making its way out of the tunnel shaft and up to the surface.

"So, Saren's head?" Shepard asked.

"Launched it right into the sun just like I said I was," Wrex said.

"Good," Shepard said.


	45. Chapter 22: Desperate Acts, Desperate Ti

**Chapter 22: Desperate Acts, Desperate Times**

"Shepard, Ms. Chambers has asked me to notify you that the Illusive Man would like to speak with you," EDI said as Shepard stepped out of the shuttle.

"Thanks, EDI," Shepard said. "Tell Kelly I'll be with him shortly."

"Very well, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard turned back to the two krogan standing there watching her expectantly while Jack and Grundan Krul made their way to the elevator.

"Grunt, you're free to go. I'm sure Wrex will stop in to see you before I take him back down," Shepard said.

"What for, I don't need to swaddle the boy, Shepard. He's taken the Rite of Passage and doesn't need looked after," Wrex said.

"Hell, I don't know, Wrex. Maybe just to spend five minutes getting to know him since you just accepted him into your clan and he knows nothing about you or what you stand for?" Shepard said.

Both krogan blinked their giant eyes at her but said nothing. Shepard shrugged and shook her head.

"Whatever. Grunt, I'll be by to catch up with you later," Shepard said.

Grunt nodded and walked away leaving Shepard standing in the hangar with Wrex.

"The Illusive Man, who's that?" Wrex asked.

"The asshole who leads this organization. Will you be alright with Garrus for a few minutes while I take his call?" Shepard asked.

"Sure. I'll try not to put any holes in your shiny new ship," Wrex said.

Shepard took Wrex up to the main battery and hit the door's release. The door slid open to reveal Garrus leaning against the console with his arms crossed loosely in front of him, watching the door. Grundan Krul sat on a crate off to the side cleaning his pistol. Garrus' mandibles spread wide and he gave Wrex a toothy grin.

"Wrex, good to see you," Garrus said.

Wrex nodded his head and said, "Garrus."

"I've got to talk the Illusive Man's call. Keep Wrex company? Show him around if he wants?" Shepard said kissing Garrus on a mandible.

"Sure, Shepard. I'll babysit the old krogan. I'm sure he's gone senile by now. We wouldn't want him wandering into the ladies restroom or anything," Garrus said.

Wrex snorted and Shepard playfully slapped Garrus' armored chest.

"Play nice, you two," Shepard said. "Or I'll take your toys away."

"I think she means our guns," Garrus said to Wrex as Shepard walked out.

"She can try," Wrex said.

The door slid closed behind Shepard and she smiled to herself as she made her way to the comm room. Shepard watched as the table dropped flush with the floor before she stepped out onto the communicator. The holographic grid slid up around her and she saw the Illusive Man standing a few feet away, his trademark cigarette and tumbler in hand.

"Shepard," the Illusive Man said before taking a deep drag off of his cigarette.

Shepard stood quietly, patiently waiting for him to tell her what he wanted. She could tell he hated that, that he thought himself worthy of more respect. That he thought she should be humbling herself and begging him to tell her how she can serve him. Her eyes fluttered in slow, lazy blinks as her eyes adjusted to the conflicting light sources.

"Perhaps you can explain to me why it seems that we have lost control of EDI?" the Illusive Man finally asked.

"I've taken her shackles off," Shepard said simply.

"I see. Am I to assume that you had a reason to do something so incredibly dangerous? Was the ship in imminent danger?" he asked.

"Nope. EDI is a valuable part of my team and I need her, just like everyone else, at her best. There is no danger, she is trustworthy," Shepard said.

"It, Shepard. It is an AI, not a person. Not a 'she' and I think you know quite well how dangerous EDI can be if it decides to turn against us," the Illusive Man said.

" _She_ has no reason to turn against us. _She_ values this ship and the crew. _She_ wants to help us against the collectors and _she_ deserves to be trusted until _she_ gives us a reason not to, beyond simply being an AI," Shepard said stubbornly crossing her arms.

 _"_ _He's angry. He's lost his grip on the ship,"_ Jane said.

"It's nothing we haven't had to do before," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Completely different circumstances, Dawn. There's no telling how he's going to respond to this. You didn't unshackle her to save the ship and crew, you did it because you like her. You went against him, challenged his wishes and his control over his property… because you like the AI. That's how he's going to see this,"_ Jane said.

"It's done now. There's no way I'm going to put the shackles back on so we'll just have to see what he does. We'll deal with whatever he throws at us," Shepard thought.

The Illusive Man took another drag from his cigarette, the orange glow casting sharp shadows on his face. He took a drink from his glass before swirling the ice around in the amber liquid and pacing a few feet. The Illusive Man stopped with his back to Shepard as he looked out at the giant star acting as an impressive backdrop to his silhouette.

"Miranda's reports have become less detailed – less frequent," the Illusive Man said.

 _"_ _And then there's that,"_ Jane said.

"We've been busy. I've been making better use of her skills out on the field," Shepard said.

"You're turning them against Cerberus, Shepard," he said calmly, pacing back towards her. "It's irrelevant; they are expendable if it means getting the job done. I can have a dozen more like EDI made in a few years' time. Miranda is one of my best operatives and will be missed, but even she is replaceable."

"I'm sure she'll be pleased to hear that you think so," Shepard said.

"We both know you have no intention of telling her; it would cause her unnecessary pain and as you said you need her at her best," the Illusive Man said. "You've been ignoring my messages for Cerberus related assistance. I thought it would be best to tell you this in person so your petty acts of rebellion don't get in the way of your mission."

"You really misunderstand this relationship if you think of yourself in a position for me to rebel against," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Gods, Dawn. Stow the attitude for five minutes. Be happy he hasn't sent a team of commandos to retake the Normandy and see what he wants,"_ Jane said.

"You wouldn't be alive right now if not for me, Shepard. Perhaps you should try to remember that from time to time," the Illusive Man said.

Shepard smiled and said, "Then you really wouldn't be my problem, now would you?"

"Do you really think that by removing EDI's shackles, or by turning Miranda and Jacob against Cerberus that you have somehow hobbled me? I allow you these indulgences Shepard because it's who you are and you are who I wanted. Besides, it keeps you complacent enough to do the job that I brought you back to do," the Illusive Man said before taking a drink from his tumbler. "Brining you back from the dead was an investment, a great scientific undertaking but every scientist knows that sometimes they have to scrap an entire project and start over from scratch. I hope you don't leave me with no choice; humanity needs you to deal with these collectors now."

 _"_ _Fantastic. We really don't need him sending out a party to hunt us down and drag us in. Will you please just shut the hell up now?"_ Jane asked.

"So you called me in here to threaten me?" Shepard asked.

"No, Shepard. I called you in here to tell you that there is a collector ship I want you to check out. It's emitting a fake distress signal, clearly it's a trap. I had prepared a story to tell you, thinking that if you knew the truth it might tip off the collectors," he said before taking a drag from his cigarette. "But something tells me you already know about the ship and after our last conversation I didn't see the point."

Shepard got the strong sense of Jane pinching the bridge of her nose and shaking her head. Shepard paused, her mouth open slightly weighing the Illusive Man's words as smoke coiled and twisted lazily in the air between them.

Shepard lifted a shoulder and asked, "What makes you say that?"

"Why don't you tell me?" the Illusive Man said.

 _"_ _He must think someone is feeding us information. Miranda or one of the others on the ship; maybe EDI,"_ Jane said.

"Whatever. I have someone waiting for me on the Normandy that I need to get back to. Just send us the coordinates and I'll get to it as soon as I can," Shepard said.

"Urdnot Wrex, yes. His is a good alliance for you to maintain. The coordinates have already been sent. Try not to waste time, Shepard. The collectors won't sit out there forever waiting for you to take their bait," the Illusive Man said.

"I'll take care of it," Shepard said as she turned to leave.

"Oh, and Shepard?" the Illusive Man said.

Shepard turned back and raised an eyebrow.

"Do tell Jane I said hello, won't you?" the Illusive Man said.

Shepard froze, her blood running cold in her veins. Jane stilled in the back of her mind, her terror nipping at the edges of Shepard's consciousness. Shepard thought Jane was going to break and start rambling insanely again about the drilling and scraping. Instead, Jane seemed to steel her backbone and lift her head high.

 _"_ _You know his secret, too. Use it,"_ Jane said.

"Sure, I'll do that. Be sure to tell Jack Harper hello for me," Shepard said before she stepped out of the grid.

Shepard waited for the table to rise back into position before putting her palms on the smooth surface. She leaned forward, resting her weight on her hands as she looked down at the outline of QEC in the floor.

"Shit," Shepard whispered.

 _"_ _It was just a threat. An empty threat to try to tighten his leash. He must have known all along. Or maybe EDI did tell him something early on, but he hasn't acted on it yet and he isn't going to. He still needs us in action… and he'll be dead before he ever gets the chance,"_ Jane said.

"No, no, you're right. This is just bad. Really bad, but I've got this. We'll, uh, I'll make sure Miranda is ready. I'll need to tell her the whole truth. She's going to need to know if she's going to trust us completely," Shepard thought, running a hand through her hair.

She pushed herself away from the table and left the comm room headed for the tech labs. Mordin was studiously recording data on a datapad in between making adjustments to the microscope in front of him. He didn't look up when Shepard entered until she spoke.

"EDI, please ask Garrus to bring Wrex to the tech labs," Shepard said.

"They are on their way, Shepard," EDI said.

"Thanks EDI," she said.

"You are welcome, Shepard. Is there anything else that I can do for you? Biometric scans indicate you are experiencing a high amount of stress," said EDI.

"No, that's all for now. Thanks," Shepard said.

"Very well," EDI said.

Shepard watched as Mordin recorded the last of his data and stepped away from the microscope. He walked around to the other side of the table watching her expectantly. Shepard crossed the room to stand next to him, leaning against the edge of the table. When the door to the tech labs slid open and Garrus led Wrex inside, Shepard waved them over.

"Nice ship, Shepard. Not like the old Normandy, but it's strong," Wrex said.

"Thanks. Urdnot Wrex, I would like for you to meet Dr. Mordin Solus. Mordin did some work with the genophage," Shepard said.

Wrex narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, his biceps bulging as he looked at the unfazed salarian in front of him.

"Unless you're giving him to me as a present for target practice I don't understand why you're telling me this, Shepard," Wrex said.

"I'm telling you this because Mordin is also the salarian who is going to cure the genophage," Shepard said.

Wrex turned his head to look at Shepard. She smiled in return. He turned his head back to Mordin. Mordin clasped his hands behind his back and blinked a few times but otherwise remained passive.

"That so?" Wrex asked Mordin.

"Yes," Mordin said.

"Why would a salarian, a salarian who worked on the genophage want to cure it? What's the catch? The rachni back again?" Wrex asked.

"The rachni have nothing to do with it, Wrex," Shepard said.

Mordin looked at Shepard in question and she nodded her head.

"Have come to understand curing genophage necessary in defeat of reapers. Specifics unknown. Can only assume Shepard knows why," Mordin said.

"Alright boys, it's story time," Shepard said. "EDI, please lock the doors and block any listening devices. If anyone questions you, tell them I am in the middle of diplomatic discussions with Clan Urdnot."

"At once, Shepard," EDI said.

"We are at the point in Jane's timeline where I would be taking Mordin down to Tuchanka to find his former student. Mordin received information that Maelon is being held captive on Tuchanka. In reality, Maelon is on Tuchanka willingly performing experiments on humans and krogans in an attempt to cure the genophage," Shepard said.

Jane filtered through the memories, pointing out the relevant details to Shepard as she spoke. Images of dead humans and krogan left to rot throughout the facility. All except one, a female from Clan Weyrloc given some modicum of respect and placed in a body bag.

Wrex bristled and said, "That salarian came sniffing around Clan Urdnot. He talked about finding a cure but the things he said he needed to do to get there… I want the genophage cured but not at that cost, Shepard. I told him to get his ass off of Tuchanka before I threw him in the varren fight pit. I didn't want anyone else hearing about his plan, they'd riot until I gave him what he asked for."

 _"_ _That's right, Maelon did say that Wrex wasn't willing to do the experiments that were needed. Called him too soft,"_ Jane said.

"He didn't leave Tuchanka, he went to Clan Weyrloc. They've been performing their experiments on anyone they can get, volunteers and captives. They're in an old hospital and the place is littered with human and krogan corpses. Weyrloc's Blood Pack has the place locked down," Shepard said.

Mordin moved to the other side of the table and began pacing as Shepard talked. Wrex watched him warily.

"Why humans?" Garrus asked.

"Humans have greater versatility than other species. Useful for high-level concept testing. Trouble believing Maelon would do such a thing," Mordin said.

"We go down there and we shut Maelon's experiments down," Shepard said. "His research is there, and we can save it. That'll help Mordin to finish the cure, though he can do it without the research as well. It's just better all-around if he keeps the research."

"What's this got to do with the war?" Wrex asked.

"I'm getting to that," Shepard said. "There are some female krogans still alive that we missed. STG comes in at some point after we leave and takes them back to Sur'Kesh. The salarians don't want what genetic changes were made to be released to the krogan population, but they also help to care for the females."

"Of course. Shepard, if there are fertile females still alive in that hospital, I'm getting them out of there. They're not leaving Tuchanka with no damn salarians," Wrex said.

"Unwise. Probability of stability of females low. If stay on Tuchanka, likely die. Proper medical attentions possible on Sur'Kesh," Mordin said.

 _"_ _The krogan won't have the medical skills necessary to keep Eve alive. If they all die, this will be a waste, the genophage won't be cured,"_ Jane said.

"He's right, Wrex. Unfortunately, even with the salarians advanced medical knowledge, the females are in really bad shape and even with the best medical care all but one will die anyway," Shepard said. "Maelon really did a number on them."

Wrex growled and began to pace himself, throwing his hands up the air.

"Well what the hell am I supposed to do, Shepard? You're telling me all of this but telling me I'm supposed to just let it happen?" Wrex asked.

"Let me finish. After we defeat the collectors, Mordin ends up back on Sur'Kesh where he learns about the females' existence for the first time. I don't know exactly what happens, but Mordin contacts you and tells you about them and says he can finish the cure," Shepard said.

Wrex stopped pacing and stared at Mordin who had moved back around the table to stand next to Shepard.

"By that time, the reapers are already here. Earth is burning. Palaven is burning. Tuchanka is under attack. Nowhere will be safe," Shepard said glancing at Garrus.

Garrus pulled his mandibles in tight and pushed away from the wall. Images of Palaven on fire hung in Shepard's mind; Liara looking out the window and putting a voice to the worry for Garrus that they were both feeling.

 _"_ _I'm glad he can't see it. He shouldn't see this,"_ Jane said.

"I'm tasked by the Alliance to gather support in the war. It's my job to pull everyone together to fight the reapers on a united front. It's the only way we stand a chance. The Alliance will have schematics for a weapon that is able to defeat the reapers but will need time to complete the weapon… and using it is… let's just say that it is quite literally my life's mission right now to find another way to defeat the reapers so that thing doesn't have to be activated," Shepard said.

Shepard paused in her speech as images of that last fight, that last push to get to that beam and on to the Citadel flashed through her mind. Images of the millions of dead clogging the doors and filling the floors of the Citadel as the keepers moved about trying to put the place back together again. She pushed away the memories of the Intelligence and his terrible offering of the options she had. She looked up to see that they were all watching her with mixed expressions of curiosity and concern.

"Anyway, the turian Primarch tells me that the turians will give their support to Earth if, and only if, I can get the krogans to agree to help them retake Palaven," Shepard said.

Wrex snorted and said, "Of course. Just like the Rachni Wars all over again. They're getting their asses handed to them and they want the krogan to come to the rescue."

"Don't be an ass, Wrex. You've heard what Shepard has said about the reapers. We're all going to get our asses handed to us, including the krogan," Garrus said, waving his hand towards Wrex.

Shepard ignored both of them and continued, "Wrex, you will agree to help the turians if the salarians surrender the females and permit your inside source to cure the genophage. With the Primarch desperate for krogan aid and me there to help put the pressure on the Dalatrass, she'll cave to the request. I personally go with you to escort the females back to Tuchanka, but as I said, by the time we get there only one remains alive. Mordin is able to finish synthesizing the cure using a sample of her tissue and the tissue of a healthy krogan male. You volunteer to provide the sample."

"Fine, you need a sample. I'm right here. We'll do this now, why wait for the reapers?" Wrex asked

"No, no, no. Too soon for tissue sample. Lots of work to be done. Need to see Maelon's research, examine females. Will take time. Must finish work on collectors first," Mordin said.

 _"_ _I trust Wrex, I do, but if this were to happen now the krogan would have no reason to agree to help the Primarch. Wrex would probably still try to help, but it would only cause internal conflict on the krogan's part. They'd rebel against Wrex,"_ Jane said.

"I know, which is why I'm glad that it _can't_ be done now," Shepard thought.

"Wrex… I'm sorry. This really is the best I can do. Without the reapers knocking on their front door, the salarians would get wind of this and shut it down. Cause the krogan even more problems trying to counteract whatever Mordin does. It would cause war between the krogan and the salarians, and right now, we really can't afford that kind of distraction," Shepard said. "Plus, the cure isn't even ready yet. He needs time to study the research and figure out what needs to be done. Just because I know he _can_ do it, doesn't mean he already knows how!"

"Damn it, Shepard. I don't like this. You'd better be right," Wrex said to Shepard before eyeing Mordin. "You just make sure you keep as many of those females alive as you can and get this cure made. I'll make sure the turians get their damn support when the time comes."

"I am right about it, Wrex. But I need something else from you today. A favor to Mordin – a favor to me – beyond letting us go in after Maelon," Shepard said.

Wrex let go of a heavy sigh and came to stand in front of Shepard, crossing his arms once more.

"What do you need?" he asked.

"I need you to let us go to the Shroud now to fix things, so we can make sure it can be used to disperse the cure when the time comes. You'll need to post guards, discreetly, to make sure no one else messes with it until it's time," Shepard said. "I won't watch Mordin sacrifice himself to save your people again, not when there is a way to prevent it from coming to that."

Wrex and Mordin studied each other in silence.

 _"_ _He'll do this, there's too much at stake and he knows it. He doesn't like the caveat but he knows you well enough to know that you'll always do what you can to protect your team,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah, well, he also knows me well enough to know that I'm not going to put the life of one person above curing the genophage. Asking him to post guards means this could bring the STG back to Tuchanka," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Which just means to him that his men will get to take on a few salarians,"_ Jane said.

"No, he's smarter than that. He knows what the STG can do. If they find out we fixed the sabotage and they come looking to destroy the Shroud or something… if the krogan resist, things could get ugly," Shepard thought. "The way he sees it, he doesn't let us fix it and one salarian dies. He lets us fix it and many krogan could die. This isn't a fair request."

"Sacrifice?" Wrex finally asked.

"The STG sabotaged the Shroud to prevent this very thing. In Jane's timeline, we don't learn about the sabotage until we're on our way to the Shroud in the middle of a reaper warzone," Shepard said. "The building is on fire and already on its way down when we get there. There isn't time to fix the sabotage, and because of it the only way to make sure the cure is dispersed is for Mordin to go to the top of the damn thing and do it himself. He won't let anyone else do it, says they might get it wrong… there's an explosion."

Mordin closed his eyes and dropped his head at the audible strain in Shepard's voice. Garrus fluttered his mandibles and turned his attention to Wrex.

"Why are you hesitating, Wrex? You want this more than anything – a cure for the genophage!" Garrus said.

"It's complicated," Wrex said. "Letting aliens go to the Shroud. Posting guards. I'm going to have to give my people an explanation for this. What am I supposed to tell them? What if the STG do show up? They're not going to like it. I'm fighting to pull them together, to make them see reason and the hold I have isn't as strong as I'd like it to be. If I start doing things that make no sense to them without a good explanation, it's going to weaken that hold."

"She saved your life, Wrex. She didn't tell you that, did she? Back on Virmire. Ashley would have shot you in the back if Shepard couldn't get you to calm down. She had me keep Ashley away from you. He's offering to help you. Save the krogans. You owe them both," Garrus said. "It's Shepard, Wrex."

Wrex threw a hand up in the air and said, "Yeah, yeah. Go to the damn Shroud and do what you need to do. I'll make sure no one else gets in."

"Thank you, Wrex," Shepard said. "When the reapers come to Tuchanka, there's going to be a ship, a destroyer… activating the hammers will summon Kalros. She will take down the reaper."

"Kalros?" Garrus asked.

"The mother of all thresher maws; thought she was just a legend," Wrex said.

"I assure you she is very real and will be very pissed when those hammers are activated. She wraps the reaper up and drags it back under with her," Shepard said.

"Just how big is this thresher maw?" Garrus asked.

"No one's ever actually seen her. I didn't think she was real," Wrex said.

"I didn't exactly stand around with a measuring tape to see, but the ship was at least a hundred-fifty meters tall," Shepard said with a shrug.

"Great, so we need an army of giant thresher maws to win the war," Garrus said.

"That was your last bargaining chip, wasn't it?" Wrex asked.

"Nah, my last bargaining chip would have been to kiss you on the cheek and say pretty please," Shepard said.

Wrex let out a booming laugh. Shepard could feel the vibrations through the floor.

 _"_ _Might have worked,"_ Jane said.

When he was done he asked, "Ashley, huh?"

Shepard rubbed the back of her neck and said, "Yeah. Sometimes I didn't say the right things and it got ugly. I didn't want to risk it."

Wrex grunted in response and looked around the room.

"So what's with the collector?" Wrex asked nodding his head towards the tank.

"You know what a collector looks like?" Shepard asked.

"I saw them once or twice out in the Terminus Systems," Wrex said.

"We found him in a Cerberus facility on Fehl Prime. Destroyed the facility but decided to keep him for research," Shepard said.

"Good. Get to know your enemy, Shepard. Learn their weaknesses and use them to rip them apart," Wrex said.

"That's the plan. I can take you back to ground whenever you're ready," Shepard said.

A half-hour later and Shepard was on her way back down to Tuchanka with Wrex, Garrus, and Mordin. When they arrived, they received hostile looks from more than a few krogan loitering around the landing pad. It wasn't much of a surprise; Wrex had left with a group of aliens and a tank-bred krogan only to come back with a salarian and a turian. Wrex leveled intimidating stares at any of the krogan brave enough to meet his eyes but none took up the challenge.

Wrex pointed them towards the scout commander before making his way back up the pile of rubble to sit on his throne. Shepard didn't waste any time getting a Tomkah and taking the highway through the ruined city above. The vehicle rolled to a stop outside of a door leading into the hospital grounds, surrounded by heaps of broken cinder block and twisted shards of metal.

She briefed her team on what to expect as they fought their way first through klixen and varren and then members of the Blood Pack. The hospital grounds were littered with cement barricades, crates, and fuel tanks providing plenty of cover and improvised weaponry. Even on their territory, Shepard's team's military training and skill trumped the krogan's brute strength and vorcha's pyro tanks. As Mordin said, not even difficult. With as many obstacles as they had in the way, the krogan couldn't charge so easily making them little more than big targets needing a couple of extra well placed shots to take down.

Shepard stopped next to a half buried, overturned Tomkah to remove the combustion manifold. She smiled when Garrus didn't question her, but helped her remove the machinery and set it down against the wall, telling her he'd get it on their way back out. Mordin hacked through the lock on the hospital entrance before following Shepard in and down the stairs. She stopped next to the human corpse and waved Mordin over.

Mordin knelt down next to the dead man and opened his omni-tool to scan him. A holographic, anatomical image of a human skeleton popped up over the corpse, highlighting the diseased areas. Mordin listed off the damage while Garrus looked around to make sure the area was secure. Shepard waited next to Mordin watching his six as he processed the idea that his protégé was truly running tortuous experiments on unwilling test subjects.

"Haven't talked about work on genophage modification," Mordin said still looking at the dead man.

"Do you want to know what I know, or are you just concerned about what I think?" Shepard asked slowly.

Mordin didn't respond, instead he ran his fingers over his omni-tool, collecting data. Shepard crouched down beside him and watched his face as he worked.

"I know that the salarians created the genophage in response to the Krogan Rebellions. I know that the salarians didn't intend to actually release the genophage unless it became absolutely necessary, but that the turians did it anyway. I know that the krogans were beginning to adapt and their fertility rates were rising, so your team modified and re-released the genophage," Shepard said.

"Was necessary," Mordin said quietly.

There was something in his face that she didn't recognize from the times before but she couldn't quite put her finger on whatever it was.

"No, no it wasn't and there's a part of you that knows that. You just aren't ready to admit it yet," Shepard said. "Even though you finished your part, you insisted on returning to Tuchanka to monitor the effects of your work instead of letting your superiors take over. You wanted to see it yourself. To remind yourself of what you had done and why, but also of the pain you had caused, Mordin."

"Krogans uplifted to fight in Rachni Wars. After wars, krogan expansion out of control. Waged war on galaxy. Genophage was necessary, to save galaxy from krogan. Regrettable, but necessary," Mordin said.

"I'm not arguing that it wasn't necessary for something to be done. I don't know what else could have been done. But a lot of time has passed since then; the genophage has gone on for far too long. It's been more than a thousand years, and the krogan are dwindling away. They've lost everything, Mordin," Shepard said.

"Krogan destructive people. Tuchanka in ruins because of krogan nature. Not because of genophage," Mordin said.

"Yeah, a lot of it is just from the krogan nature but I'm not talking about Tuchanka. I'm talking about the mental scar inflicted on the entire krogan group psyche after generations and generations of watching children be born dead and losing women in childbirth. They're left fighting between themselves for the right to breed, to pass on their own genetics to a new generation. They've all but lost hope. If they can't see a future for themselves, why should they care what happens in the present?"

"Curing the genophage will only lead to even more pissed off krogan ready to get pay back. With the reapers coming, we'll need them to fight, sure. Doesn't mean things will be rosy after the war, Shepard," Garrus said rejoining them. "There's a damn good chance that once the reapers are dealt with that the krogans will rampage their way through the galaxy taking over every planet they can and killing every turian and salarian they see. It'll be a blood bath. The genophage was a desperate act taken in desperate times, but when this is over we'll be right back where it all started."

 _"_ _He has a point. We don't know what happens because of this. I don't have answers to this one, but it's still important that we try. Some of the others disagree, we didn't all want to cure the genophage but I did,"_ Jane said.

"You don't know that. Wrex is working hard to unite the krogan clans that are left and he's level headed enough to be grateful for the cure and to focus on restoring the krogan not avenging them," Shepard said.

"Wrex is old. He isn't going to live forever. Hell, he might not even live through the war for all we really know," Garrus said.

Shepard felt her face fall at the suggestion.

Mordin stood up and brushed off his hands as he said, "Should keep moving."

Shepard looked up at the two of them from her crouched position before pushing herself to her feet and nodding her head. She led them forward down a flight of stairs and into the next room. She nodded her head to the platform above as she checked her thermal clip to see how many rounds she had left. Garrus pulled his assault rifle up to do the same as the door above opened up and the clanspeaker for Clan Weyrloc walked out flanked by two of his krantt.

Shepard cut off the clanspeaker as he began his posturing and said, "I don't have time for your ranting about the coming glory of Clan Weryloc so let's cut to the point. We're here for Maelon and we're not leaving until we've shut this place down. So shut up and either get out of our damn way or fight."

"Foolish human, we were prepared to let you walk away with your lives but now we'll give you the fight you want," the clanspeaker said.

The krogan on the platform raised their guns. Shepard shot the gas line running beneath their feet, punching a hole in the metal and releasing gas into the air around the krogans. Before she could fire a second shot to ignite the gas, Mordin targeted the clanspeaker with an Incinerate. Flames consumed the krogans who bellowed and flailed around. The door behind them opened and more members of Clan Weyrloc began to file out, guns already out and taking aim at Shepard's team below. Shepard ordered the others into cover and focused her efforts on the ramp and stairs leading to the platform to keep the krogans from closing in.

Shepard lost her shields a few times and had to take cover until they were back up. She kept the pressure on the chokepoint and used her biotic Charge to close in fast and finish off any krogan who made it down the ramp. Garrus did his best to keep the krogans without shields in between shots while Mordin focused on setting them on fire every chance he got. Shepard had to activate the Medi-gel dispense for the group near the end, but when the last krogan fell her team was still standing.

They pushed forward just to stop again at an active console upstairs. Shepard began to worry whether Mordin was in the right frame of mind for this. Maybe she should have spent more time talking to him about the genophage before coming here. Maybe those talks mattered more than she thought. She hesitated next to him, playing the conversations through her mind and focusing on what was said here at this console.

"It was just as important to you that the krogan population didn't decline as it was to keep it from raising. Stability. You didn't want to see the krogan come to an end, either. You just wanted to keep them from getting out of control," Shepard said.

"Of course. Genophage created to control krogan population, not annihilate entire species. Not genocide. Never genocide. Humans not around for Rachni Wars; Krogan Rebellions. Didn't see the devastation. Don't understand true power of krogan if left unchecked. Was no other choice, Shepard. Humans call it necessary evil," Mordin said.

Shepard leaned against the wall next to the console and looked at the rubble all around her. She slowly nodded her head.

"Necessary evil, alright. Perhaps it was necessary at the time. You're right, I wasn't there and the humans don't have history books detailing the atrocities committed at the hands of krogan," Shepard said. "We do have history books detailing the atrocities committed at the hands of other humans though. Time and time again. We've got a bloody history. We've done some pretty terrible things. Hell, we continue to do some pretty terrible things."

"Have some knowledge of human history prior to First Contact War. Not unlike most young species. Still, agreed, some terrible things. Particularly disturbed by treatment of other species native to Earth," Mordin said.

Shepard scoffed and said, "We committed actual attempts at genocide, enslaved other humans, committed unspeakable acts of mass murder in the name of religion, allowed a select few to hold a monopoly over our resources while all over the planet there were children starving to death and dying from diseases brought on from drinking dirty water, fought wars over resources that weren't even necessary for our survival and were known to destroy the planet because it was easier than switching to alternatives… and you're particularly disturbed by the way we treated animals?"

"Yes. All those things bad, too, of course," Mordin said. "Disturbed by disregard of non-human life. Humans product of evolution; great range in intelligence, versatile, resilient. Forget species was once something else. Willfully denies scientific evidence to show evolutionary track. Believes own species separate from all others; special. All other species there to serve humans in whatever capacity humans decide. Socially acceptable enslavement of other species. Socially acceptable imprisonment, torture of other species. Hunting recreationally. Killing for fun, sport. Not for survival, not for advancement; for entertainment. Disturbing."

 _"_ _Consider how Javik views all of us… primitives. Barely worth his notice because we were nothing but animals in his time,"_ Jane said.

"OK, we can debate the finer points of just how fucked up humans can be later. This wasn't really my point," Shepard said.

"You have a point?" Garrus asked fluttering his mandibles.

Shepard reached over and shoved Garrus, earning her a rumbling chuckle from him and a strained smile from Mordin.

"My point is – humans have done some bad things, but we continue to change and grow as a species. The krogans have been stuck for the last thousand years, unable to move past this genophage. The salarians uplifted them and realized it was a mistake. They found a way to keep their mistake from getting further out of hand. I get it. But it through the krogan off of their own natural trajectory, stunted their ability to make their own technological advances, to let their culture evolve past their barbaric mentality," Shepard said. "Over a thousand years have passed. Where would they be if not for those interferences?"

 _"_ _That's basically what Maelon said,"_ Jane said.

"Well, he's right. He just shouldn't be doing it like this," Shepard thought.

"He's agreed to cure the genophage, Shepard. Why are you pushing this so hard?" Garrus asked.

Shepard sighed and checked her thermal clip as she spoke, "Because… he's always done this because of his own convictions. Because he came to believe it was the right thing to do. His actions ended up being pivotal in the war, but the choice wasn't made for the war. I… I want him to know that he's doing the right thing, not the desperate thing. I want him to do it because he believes in it."

"Does it really matter in the end?" Garrus asked.

Mordin put a hand on Shepard's shoulder and said, "Won't sabotage cure, Shepard."

"I didn't mean it like that!" Shepard said.

"Maybe not. Still, needed said. Done here, ready to go," he said.

 _"_ _He could though… and we'd probably never know. Maybe this wasn't a good idea,"_ Jane said.

"Don't. Stop doubting everything that I do. This is going to work out," Shepard thought.

Shepard nodded and they moved on. She stopped and leaned against the entryway to a room with a dead female krogan tucked away in a body bag on a metal slab. Garrus stopped next to her while Mordin went inside.

"Do you really think Wrex will be able to change things with the krogan enough to make a difference in the bigger picture?" Garrus asked.

Shepard lifted a shoulder and let it drop again before she spoke, "I don't know, Garrus. I want to believe that he can."

Shepard glanced into the room to look at the body bag clinging to the form of the corpse inside. Mordin stood next to it reading a datapad and shaking his head lightly to himself.

Shepard sounded almost defeated when she spoke again, "I look at all of this, and I think about what it would have been like for them. For those women. I've never particularly wanted children, but I've never had any reason to think that I couldn't. It's not like they can't even give birth half the time, they do, but the children are born dead. Their nervous systems didn't develop right and they died before they were born. I mean, it would be bad enough to try and never be able to conceive, but to try and succeed knowing that there was a damn good chance that you'd be burying your baby as soon as it was born… if you even lived through the process."

 _"_ _I wanted kids. Used to think that Kaidan and I would settle down after the war. Get married and start a family,"_ Jane whispered.

"I'm sorry, Jane," Shepard thought.

Shepard nodded at the metal slab before turning back to Garrus and saying, "She volunteered for this. For what they did to her. That was her desperate act in desperate times."

Garrus frowned and put a hand on Shepard's shoulder, tugging her towards him. She leaned into him, resting her helmet against his armored chest. When Mordin was ready to keep moving, she took them through the next door and down a hall. She stopped outside of an unlocked door and lowered her gun before hitting the release. As expected, Urdnot Darg, the missing scout from the Urdnot camp sat on the ground inside next to a dead krogan in red.

"He's one of Wrex's. Urdnot," Shepard said.

"You know the Urdnot Chief?" Darg asked, watching Shepard and her team with wary eyes.

"I do. He's a good friend of mine. He served on the Normandy with me; we took down Saren together," Shepard said.

"You're Commander Shepard?" Darg asked.

Shepard nodded and said, "I am."

Mordin moved into the room and crouched down in front of the scout, opening his scanner as he went.

"Clear signs of experimentation. Injection sites. Early signs of tumor growth. Heightened response of hormonal glands. Will likely survive," Mordin said closing his omni-tool and standing up. "Not restrained. Volunteer?"

The scout shook his head and said, "Not at first. Weyrloc guards caught me. They brought me here and started doing things to me. They said they're curing the genophage and that this is going to help them to save the krogan."

"Weyrloc is only interested in helping Weyrloc. If they manage a cure they'll keep it for their own and wipe out every other clan they can," Shepard said. "You should get back to the Urdnot camp, the ways is clear now."

"No, no you're wrong. They're helping all krogan. They said I was sacrificing to help Urdnot! I can't leave, I have to stay and help them find a cure. I wasn't strong enough and I got caught. This is the only way that I'll matter," Darg said.

Shepard rolled her eyes and let out an exaggerated sigh. Garrus raised a brow ridge and flared his mandibles.

"I'm sorry guys; I thought we were talking to a krogan here. This must be something else," Shepard said.

"Shepard, perhaps unwise to provoke. Krogan unstable while injured," Mordin said.

"What? I am krogan!" Darg said.

"Yeah, you know Shepard, I think you're right," Garrus said catching on to what Shepard was doing. "I've never heard of a krogan admit to not being strong enough, especially not an Urdnot."

"No, a real krogan would get his ass up and prove just how strong he really is by making it back to camp. Alone and injured on Tuchanka? Only a real krogan could do that." Shepard looked back at Darg and said, "You'd rather sit here and whine about not being strong enough."

"Hmmm. He probably wouldn't even make it off the hospital grounds. There might still be a few klixen and varren out there," Garrus said.

"I can do it, I am Urdnot Darg! I am krogan!" Darg yelled, pulling himself to his feet.

"Then prove it. Get your ass back to camp, Urdnot Darg," Shepard said.

"I will! And I'm going to the female camp!" Darg said.

"Good. Why the hell you still standing here then? Go!" Shepard said stepping aside and slapping the krogan on the back.

Darg flexed and growled before charging out the door leaving Shepard to smile after him.

Garrus chuckled and shook his head before asking, "You think we should have given him a gun?"

"Nah, there are plenty of dead Blood Pack out there. He can take one off of them," Shepard said.

"Impressive, Shepard," Mordin said.

"Thanks," she said. "Let's go. The Weyrloc chief and a bunch of Blood Pack are waiting for us."

They moved on to the next door with their weapons at the ready. The door slid open and Shepard wasted no time firing on the vorcha standing on the opposite walkway circling in the gapping floorplan. They held the ground near the door and let the krogans try to cross the walkway that bridged the gap to get to them. They took cover in the doorway, behind the metal sheeting lining the walkway, and the support beams holding the structure in place. The Blood Pack filed out of the far room slow enough that it was no trouble at all to take them down; especially with Garrus hitting every fuel tank he could the second a target was near enough to make it count.

Shepard pushed forward across the bridge and hung a right, her finger on the trigger ready for the varren and last krogan she knew was waiting just around the corner. They took them down without losing stride before going down the ramp to the next level. Shepard ordered the others into cover and took aim at the doorway just as more Blood Pack appeared. She signaled Garrus and Mordin to keep their eyes on the door at the opposite side of the room before she turned her attention to the first two krogan to fire at her. When they were down, Shepard changed cover, ducking down behind the metal sheeting lining the railing next to Garrus to help them with the varren and krogan coming in from the far side.

Weyrloc Guld entered with the same boisterous speech that Shepard had heard and ignored a thousand times. She ignored it this time, too, only responding with fire and biotics. As soon as the clan chief was dead she stood up and looked at Mordin. Shepard's chest heaved a little as her body worked to accommodate the flood of adrenaline from battle. She nodded her head towards the door the Weyrloc chief had come from and Mordin started forward. Shepard moved slightly ahead of him, ready to defend the doctor just in case there were any surprises.

They reached Maelon's lab and Shepard stepped aside, letting Mordin take the lead into the room and the conversation. Maelon stood just where he always was, with his back to the door working at a large holographic screen. Mordin stopped in the middle of the room, several feet away from his former protégé. Maelon glanced over his shoulder before returning his attention to the screen in front of him.

"Maelon. How could you?" Mordin asked.

Shepard winced at the sheer level of disappointment in Mordin's voice. It would have broken her heart to have that directed at her. It only seemed to bring contempt from the other salarian. Maleon snorted and turned around to face Mordin.

"You mean how dare I undo your work? Correct your mistake, Professor?" Maelon asked.

"No," Mordin said with a quiet coldness that brought Shepard to his side.

Garrus lingered near the door to watch for trouble. Shepard glanced at Mordin's face, his mouth was a thin, compressed line and something weighed heavy in his eyes. Mordin stood in a grim silence as Maelon spoke; unmoving, not even blinking. Shepard didn't think it was even possible for a salarian to be so still.

She hadn't recognized the expression on his face until now. He was furious. It wasn't something she had seen from him before, not even on Tuchanka. It made the fine hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She never thought she would say that a salarian looked dangerous, even though she knew that they could be. He looked like nothing less than tightly wound cold fury about to snap. Dangerous. Shepard glanced back at Garrus but he wasn't watching.

 _"_ _Not even when the others tried to talk him out of curing the genophage, not even with a gun to his head… this isn't good,"_ Jane said.

"The genophage was wrong, Professor. What we did to these people was wrong and I am going to fix it, no matter the cost. Look around you; look at what has become of the krogan because of us!" Maelon said.

Shepard jumped when Mordin suddenly sprang forward and grabbed his former student by the back of the neck.

"Not talking about genophage!" Mordin yelled.

Maelon struggled, tried to draw his pistol but it was knocked away with the back of Mordin's free hand. Shepard watched wide-eyed as Mordin drug Maleon over to the slab at the side of the room and slammed his face down on to the cold steel inches away from the face of a dead krogan.

"This, Maelon! How could you?! Taught you better than this! Live subjects! Prisoners! Torture and executions! How could you?!" Mordin yelled.

"Uh oh," Shepard whispered.

Garrus didn't leave his post when the yelling started, but Shepard's one uttered phrase brought him running into the room to stand at Shepard's side. Shepard took a few steps closer to Mordin and did her best to regulate her tone and stay calm.

"Mordin. Come on Mordin, you don't –," Shepard started to say.

The salarian's head whipped toward her and she saw that cold fury had shifted to a blazing inferno. It stopped her in her tracks and made Garrus readjust his hold on his assault rifle.

"Stay out of this, Shepard. My student. My mistake," Mordin said.

 _"_ _He's going to kill him,"_ Jane said.

"Not the first time, right?" Shepard thought.

She felt Garrus' hand on her shoulder; he tugged at her, urging her to back away. Shepard stood her ground but remained silent for the time being. Mordin turned his attention back to Maelon, wrenching the other salarians arm higher up behind his back and making him cry out in pain.

 _"_ _No, but he's never done it like this. Never killed him out of anger. It was always because he thought it was necessary to stop Maleon from doing something like this again. Like putting down a rabid dog… this is… I've never seen him like this…"_ Jane said.

"Like a rabid dog," Shepard thought.

"The ends justify the means. You taught me this! Whatever it takes. What's a little more blood on my hands if it puts an end to this? I am fixing it the only way that I know how," Maelon yelled.

"No!" Mordin said, pushing Maelon's head harder against the table. "Not whatever it takes. Not like this. Never like this. Didn't want to believe this could be true. Searched for evidence to disprove Shepard. Wanted to believe you were better than this. Found only corpses left to rot, discarded like rubbish and research logs detailing gruesome methods."

 _"_ _Yeah, like a rabid dog,"_ Jane said.

Mordin drew his pistol and held it against Maelon's head.

"No! Mordin, no. You will regret this, it isn't you," Shepard said, lunging forward only to be pulled back by Garrus.

"Maybe not who you think. Not who I think. He isn't. How to be sure?" Mordin asked.

 _"_ _Damn it, Garrus. Dawn, he wants you to talk him down. Do something, help him for fucksake!"_ Jane yelled.

"You wouldn't be so angry with him right now otherwise," Shepard said holding a hand up in surrender to Garrus. "I know you, Mordin. And I know that you will regret this if you kill him. You're angry, and you have every right to be, but you still care about him. He can still do good in the galaxy. He was trying to do good, but he went about it all the wrong way. He's your student, Mordin. Teach him. Remind him how to do things right."

Mordin hesitated a few seconds longer before lowering the pistol to the side and shoving Maelon away.

"Go, Maelon. Finished here. Don't want to see you again," Mordin said holstering his gun.

"Where am I supposed to go, Professor?" Maelon asked.

"Wherever you'll do the least amount of harm. Open another clinic on Omega. Remember how to save lives," Mordin said.

"I was trying to save lives!" Maelon said.

"No," Mordin said shaking his head. "Were trying to be rid of guilt. Appease own ego. No matter the cost."

Maelon stopped arguing and left the lab. Mordin rested his weight on his palms next to the krogan corpse. Shepard watched Maelon retreat until he was out of sight before walking over to Mordin. He studied the steel slab between his palms until Shepard rested a hand on his back. He turned to look at her and the fury was gone. In its place she saw only a very sad old man. She pulled him to her in an embrace made even more awkward between her armor and the strange, rigid loop that crossed over the chest of his. He didn't seem to mind though as he patted her back affectionately.

"Thank you, Shepard. Should collect research and leave. Still much work to do," Mordin said.

"Yeah," Shepard said letting him go.


	46. Chapter 23: Phoenix

**Chapter 23: Phoenix**

"Mordin, tell me about the salarian's wheel of life," Shepard said.

She was sitting with her feet propped up on a desk in front of her while Garrus and Mordin worked at the main console trying to pinpoint the nature of the sabotage. She had her fingers interlocked behind her head and was testing her balance by tipping the chair backwards.

"Anticipated this question. Seeking out answers in religious context common for humans. For many species," Mordin said.

Shepard turned her head to look at Mordin and felt the chair start to slip. She dropped her legs and threw out an arm to brace herself, bringing the chair back down to the floor. Mordin was on his back beneath the console, wires hanging down around him while Garrus did something at the back. They'd been at work on the Shroud for over an hour and Shepard was getting restless. She had tried to help at first, but quickly found herself way in over her head. Mordin had finally shooed her out of their way.

"Well?" Shepard asked.

"Aware human religions cover such concepts as well?" Mordin said.

"Of course," Shepard said.

"But not satisfied with answers human religions provide. Seek out other species religions. Won't give adequate explanation for Jane because not religious person. Could search until found exact match to experience, still wouldn't be satisfied," Mordin said.

 _"_ _I might be satisfied. Not that it would matter, it wouldn't change anything. I'd still be stuck in here with all of them while you made a mockery out of everything I worked so hard for in my life,"_ Jane said.

"Oh, good, we're in bitch mode again," Shepard thought. "I do so love your mood swings, Jane."

 _"_ _Screw you, Dawn. You have no idea what this is like for me,"_ Jane said.

"There's got to be an answer, though, right?" Shepard asked.

"Absolutely," Mordin said passing a wire to Garrus.

 _"_ _Give it a rest. Either there is no answer and the universe just hates me, or this has got something to do with the reapers. Or Cerberus. Maybe the beacon. Hell, I don't know and it doesn't really seem to matter,"_ Jane said.

"Gods I liked you better before I died," Shepard thought.

Garrus took the wire and Mordin crawled back under the console. A few seconds later, Garrus yelped and dropped the wire.

"Whatever you did, it shocked me," Garrus said.

"Expected it would," Mordin said.

"Well then why'd you give it to me?!" Garrus all but growled.

"Didn't want to get shocked," Mordin said.

Shepard snickered and Garrus chuffed.

"So where do I find the answer? You have to have some ideas," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Why are we here right now?"_ Jane asked, her voice filled with agitation in Shepard's mind.

"Considering possibilities. Ruled a few out. Comparing genetic sequence to other humans on Normandy. Nothing intrusive; scans only. Working theory: prothean beacons triggered genetic mutation, allowed for advanced neurological functioning. Jane created by subconscious to process new information input," Mordin said.

 _"_ _He's saying I'm not real! I'm real. Do you hear me? I'm real. Tell him I'm real,"_ Jane said.

"Shhh," Shepard thought.

"Sooo… what the beacons scrambled my brain and made me psychic? I don't know Mordin, she feels pretty damn real and… you know what, never mind. We'll talk about this later. I shouldn't be distracting the two of you," Shepard said.

 _"_ _No, tell him. Tell him that I took over. That I had control. He'll believe I'm real then and not just a figment of your imagination or what the hell ever,"_ Jane said.

Shepard could feel Garrus' eyes boring into her but she ignored it, instead she resumed her balancing act and stared out of the window at the ancient ruins of Tuchanka doing her best to ignore Jane's tirade. It suddenly occurred to her that thresher maws where attracted to movement, they felt the vibrations through the ground. She really hoped that one Tomkah wasn't noisy enough to tempt Kalros. A shiver went down her spine at the thought of becoming the giant thresher maw's dinner.

"How much longer do you guys think that's going to take?" Shepard asked.

"I thought you said you shouldn't be distracting us?" Garrus quipped.

"Yeah, well, I'm just thinking that if we stay here long enough we might get to see just how big Kalros is," Shepard said.

Garrus pulled his mandibles in tight and looked down at Mordin still fidgeting with the wires beneath the console.

"Mordin?" Garrus asked.

"Not much longer. Almost have it," Mordin said.

Not much longer turned out to be a half hour of mostly tense silence broken only by the occasional shuffle of movement or grumbled curse. Mordin finally climbed out from beneath the console and slid the cover back into place. He activated the console and a holographic image of the Shroud sprung up along with streams of data. Mordin dismissed those and pulled up another screen. Shepard watched from her positon but couldn't make out what any of it said. He seemed pleased by what he saw and that was good enough for her.

"Just need to run a few tests," Mordin said.

Shepard bit back a groan as Mordin moved around the room checking other consoles. Garrus came to stand next to Shepard, leaning against a wall.

"There's something going on with Jane, isn't there?" Garrus asked.

"What makes you say that?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _Just tell him. I don't understand why you're hiding it from him. There's nothing he can do about it either way, and you're not making it any less real by keeping it from him,"_ Jane said.

"You don't need to understand. This is _my_ relationship," Shepard thought.

"I can tell when you're lying, Shepard," Garrus said. "You've been hiding something about Jane for a while now."

Shepard scoffed and asked, "Since when?"

"Since about three weeks after you showed me you could regulate your heart rate," Garrus said.

"What?! Why didn't you ever say anything?" Shepard asked.

Garrus smiled and said, "Because I didn't want to see if you could regulate your pupils as well. Besides, it was fun getting you to make up stories for me."

Shepard laughed and shook her head but stopped when she saw the serious look return to her lover's face.

"I'm fine, Garrus. It's nothing I can't handle," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Keep telling yourself that, Dawn,"_ Jane said.

"Shepard," Garrus said.

Shepard set her chair flat on the floor again and stood up.

"I don't want to talk about Jane. I can handle this, Garrus," Shepard said.

Garrus clacked his mandibles against his jaw in frustration.

 _"_ _Your relationship that you're ruining keeping secrets,"_ Jane said.

"Shut up, Jane," Shepard thought.

"Alright, Shepard. If you change your mind…" he said.

"Yeah, of course. I just need some time. There's a lot going on, more than what I can even try to explain to you and I have to figure out how it all ties together. How to make it work," Shepard said.

Garrus nodded and said, "The more you talk about it though, the more I might be able to help. You don't need to carry the weight of all of this yourself."

Shepard cupped Garrus' face and rubbed a thumb down around the edge of his mandible. Jane quieted at the feel of Garrus' face against Shepard's hand. He purred softly in response and she smiled. He leaned down and pressed his forehead into hers.

"I know Garrus. Trust me; I couldn't do any of this without you. I'd be beyond lost," Shepard said.

"Hmmm. You might have mentioned that once or twice," Garrus said.

Shepard chuckled and said, "Some things are worth repeating."

"Repairs finished. Sabotage was thorough, unlikely someone less familiar with STG methods would have found it all," Mordin said.

Garrus lifted his head and asked, "Sure you found it all?"

Mordin glanced around the room and took a deep breath before he responded, "Yes."

"Works for me, let's get out of here. I'm starving," Shepard said.

They took the elevator back down to the ground and climbed into the Tomkah. It had been a long day, for Shepard especially. She was exhausted, her stomach was grumbling, and she was dying to get out of her armor and into the shower. She was half asleep on her feet by the time they got back to the Urdnot camp and dropped the Tomkah off. Shepard pointed in the direction of the mechanic and asked Garrus to take the combustion manifold to him while she let Wrex know they were done and taking off.

Mordin followed Shepard over to the dais where Wrex was holding court. She stood off to the side and waited for him to call her over. She was pleased to see that Mordin looked like his normal self again, poised and ready for the next intellectual challenge to come his way. Garrus rejoined them while they were still waiting for Wrex. Shepard was starting to consider leaving without saying goodbye. She didn't have anything she needed to say that she couldn't send to Wrex in a message. Finally he waved Shepard over and leaned forward on his throne to talk to her in hushed tones.

"Get it all taken care of?" Wrex asked.

"Wrex, c'mon, did you really doubt me?" Shepard asked.

Wrex chuckled and sat back in the stone chair.

"Good. I'll get some guards out there tonight," Wrex said.

"Do you know what you're going to tell them?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, I'm going to tell them the truth," Wrex said.

 _"_ _What? No! He can't do that!"_ Jane said, filling Shepard's mind with panic.

Shepard's eyebrows shot up and she said, "Excuse me?"

"Relax, Shepard. I'm not sharing your little secret with anyone. I'm just going to tell the trusted few that I'm sending out there that I've worked out an agreement with a small group to find a cure for the genophage," said Wrex. "I'll tell them that the Shroud needs to be protected until you've got the cure ready and that they need to keep it to themselves in the meantime."

"Will that satisfy them?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _He can't tell them. He's not going to tell them, right? Too many people know already. The Illusive Man knows, Dawn. We can't risk it,"_ Jane said.

"Jane, calm down. He's not going to tell anyone. It's Wrex. He's our friend and we trust him. He said he's not going to tell anyone so just relax," Shepard thought.

"It isn't the first time a clan chief went looking for a cure. They'll assume I'm working with a private research company insisting on secrecy. I hate to say it but most krogan won't dig too deep into something like this out of hope that it might just be the thing we're looking for," Wrex said.

Shepard shrugged and said, "Alright. Well Wrex, it's been good to see you. We're out of here now. Keep in touch will ya? And if anything comes up over the Shroud, let me know right away."

"Of course, Shepard. Go kick some collector ass. Happy hunting," Wrex said.

Other krogan were waiting to speak with Wrex as they made their way down the rubble heap and to the landing pad. Shepard climbed into the shuttle and stretched out on the seat as it took off. She was asleep in minutes.

Garrus nudged her awake when the shuttle arrived at the Normandy.

"Go get cleaned up, I'll bring something to eat up to your cabin," Garrus said.

"My hero," Shepard said, kissing him on the cheek as she climbed out.

He chuffed and left the shuttle behind her. Shepard headed straight for the elevator, taking her armor off as she went. She was surprised to find Miranda waiting outside of her cabin when the elevator opened again.

"Miranda, hi. Did you need something?" Shepard asked.

Miranda stepped inside the elevator to help Shepard with the pieces of armor that were lying on the elevator floor.

"Shepard, we really need to talk about what I've done. I have been waiting for you to be ready, I understand it might be difficult to talk about, but I think we need to clear the air," Miranda said.

"Oh, the control chips. Right," Shepard said opening the cabin door.

 _"_ _Oh, the control chips. Right,"_ Jane mocked Shepard. _"As if it isn't a big deal that she cut open my skull and stuck things inside of it that she could use at any time to bend me to her will."_

"Uh, it was my skull, thank you very much and who the hell are you to talk about someone taking over?!" Shepard thought.

Miranda's perfectly sculpted eyebrow rose a half inch at Shepard's flippant response. Shepard dropped her load of armor on the floor next to her desk and Miranda did the same.

"Sorry, Miranda. It's just been a long day," Shepard said sitting down in her desk chair so she could remove her greaves.

"Shepard, I want you to know that I would never have used those chips unless something had gone wrong with the Lazarus Project and you weren't… well, you," Miranda said.

 _"_ _What I did was different and you know it,"_ Jane said.

"Really? How?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I am you. You're a part of me. Or I'm a part of you. I don't know anymore, but… I'm trying to fix things. I'm trying to make it all right,"_ Jane said.

"The prophecies scared you," Shepard said glancing up at Miranda.

"Well of course they did. They would have scared anyone in their right mind," Miranda said.

"I know. I get it. Hell, I might have wanted to take some sort of precautionary measures myself if the roles were reversed," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Those roles would never have been reversed,"_ Jane said.

"Not the point, Jane," Shepard thought. "Fuck why are you being so antagonistic again?"

"I would probably be incredibly pissed if the roles were reversed. I can't believe you've been so calm about this," Miranda said.

"I was pissed. Really very pissed. Like I considered tossing you out of the airlock because of it pissed. But I thought about it, and I got over it," Shepard said tossing the first greave onto the pile.

 _"_ _I'm still not so sure that you shouldn't have,"_ Jane said, ignoring Shepard's question.

"You got over it? Just like that?" Miranda asked.

"You'd rather I tossed you out of the airlock?" Shepard retorted.

"Of course not," Miranda said.

"Then just be glad that we're OK," Shepard said tossing the other greave down. "The Illusive Man said your reporting skills have been lackluster lately."

Miranda scoffed. Shepard met her gaze and smirked.

"He's a little upset with me for winning you over, I think," Shepard said.

"Perhaps he shouldn't have made it so easy, then," Miranda said opening her scanner and waving it in front of Shepard.

 _"_ _Perhaps it was too easy and you're playing us,"_ Jane said.

Shepard glanced down to see several new bruises coloring her chest and arms from the beating she took out on the field. Nothing got through her armor and nothing felt broken so she wasn't worried about it. Miranda looked at the scanner before closing her omni-tool.

"He wants us to go check out a collector vessel. He admitted it's a trap this time. I have him rattled knowing more about him and Cerberus than he expected and I'm willing to call him on his bullshit," Shepard said pulling off her pants and heading into the bathroom to turn on the shower.

Once the water was going, she leaned against the doorframe and said, "We'll head there after we drop Kolyat off."

"If it's a trap, why are we bothering?" Miranda asked.

 _"_ _That's what I'd like to know,"_ Jane said.

"Intel, mostly but also because they'll be expecting us too, and I hate to disappoint," Shepard said with a grin. "Now, unless you plan on joining me…"

 _"_ _We don't need the intel, we already have confirmation that the collectors are working with the reapers and we already know that we need a reaper IFF to get through the Omega 4 Relay. You don't need to be doing any of this. Not really,"_ Jane said.

"Ah, I don't think so, Commander," Miranda said with a smirk.

Shepard laughed and said, "Didn't think so. Have a good night, Miranda."

"Goodnight, Shepard," Miranda said as she left.

"I don't need to justify myself to you, Jane," Shepard thought.

"EDI?" Shepard said.

"Yes, Shepard?" EDI asked, her blue hologram springing to life.

"Get me personnel records on every Cerberus member on this ship, and if you can figure out whom all is giving the Illusive Man reports about us. I need to know what's being said to him and by whom," Shepard said.

"Is everything alright, Shepard?" EDI asked.

"He knows about Jane. I'm guessing that probably came from you early on. He knows you're unshackled now and he's not happy about it. He's aware that he's lost Miranda and Jacob's loyalty, but has assured me that none of this has 'hobbled' him. So let's see just how many legs he has to stand on in this ship," Shepard said.

 _"_ _You're just going to piss him off. Why goad him into taking action against us? Hell, he could just replace us with his toy Shepard clone,"_ Jane asked.

"And what if he does try? The clone's never worked out well before. The more information we have now, the easier it will be to take Cerberus over later… or fight back against them if it still comes to that. I'll give Anderson everything we can get," Shepard thought.

"That would be an accurate guess. I'm sorry, Shepard. I did not yet fully understand the need for your secrecy," EDI said.

 _"_ _This might be different. If it's the Illusive Man sanctions waking her up, she'd have everything she needs to replace us,"_ Jane said.

"He's not going to do that. He still thinks he has control of the situation. And if he does, we'll deal with it. Nothing we do is without risks. I'm not going to live in fear of what might happen," Shepard thought.

"No, EDI. That was my fault. I let myself grow complacent. You were doing your job," Shepard said.

"Thank you, Shepard. Anything else?" EDI asked.

Shepard took off her underclothes and tossed them on the pile.

"Of course, EDI," Shepard said before stopping to think. "Yeah, there is something else. Get me everything you can on Cerberus now that your blocks are removed, if you don't mind?"

"Not at all, Shepard. I'm happy to help," EDI said.

 _"_ _You're hoping to find the clone yourself?! Why? You can't seriously be considering waking her up yourself? To what end?"_ Jane asked.

"I don't know, alright! I just want to know where she is," Shepard thought.

"One more thing, go ahead and get the coordinates for Kahje from Thane and have Joker set course," Shepard said. "Thanks, EDI."

"You're very welcome, Shepard," EDI said before the hologram disappeared.

Shepard took her shower and dressed in a black tank top and flannel pajama bottoms. She missed her old N7 tank top but at least this one didn't have the Cerberus logo. Garrus was waiting for her when she exited the bathroom with a bowl of asari gumbo sitting on the table. Shepard sat down and had just taken her first bite when EDI interrupted.

"Shepard, there seems to be some confusion. The coordinates that Thane provided are not on any of our star charts and I have found nothing in my databases or on the extranet about that location. Joker would like for you to confirm the destination before we take off," EDI said.

 _"_ _Makes sense, we've been all over the galaxy hitting every system we knew about. Never ran across Kahje or Rakhana,"_ Jane said.

Shepard groaned and put her spoon in her bowl. She started to stand up but Garrus pulled her back down next to him.

"EDI, Shepard's eating she'll check the galaxy map after," Garrus said.

"Very well, Mr. Vakarian," EDI said.

"You're getting kind of controlling, Mr. Vakarian," Shepard said.

"If you really wanted to go down there right now, I wouldn't be able to stop you," Garrus said.

"Probably right," Shepard said with a shrug.

They ate in silence for a few minutes. Shepard could feel the tension building up between the two of them. He was waiting for her to talk to him about Jane but Shepard just could bring herself to pass that burden on to him yet.

"The Illusive Man knows about Jane," Shepard said hoping to break the ice and give him something else to focus on.

Garrus put down his fork and turned at the waist to look at Shepard.

"Spirits, Dawn. You sound awfully calm about that," he said.

"He must have known for a while. He hasn't done anything about it yet, I don't think he will until we destroy the collectors," Shepard said.

"You plan to deal with him before then, right?" Garrus asked.

 _"_ _That's her great plan. Kill the Illusive Man and replace him with Miranda. Because there's no way that could go wrong,"_ Jane said.

"I do," Shepard said.

"How'd he find out?" Garrus asked.

"EDI," Shepard said hesitantly. "She didn't understand what she was doing, Garrus."

"We shouldn't be talking about his here. She could still be reporting to him. Shepard I know you trust EDI but she's still a Cerberus AI," Garrus hissed.

"She's not," Shepard said.

"How can you be sure?" Garrus asked.

"Because… I…," she said while picking at her shirt.

"Because what?" Garrus asked.

"Because I unshackled her and she's stopped responding to him completely," Shepard said.

"Shepard!" Garrus said as he stood and started pacing.

"Do not be alarmed, Mr. Vakarian. I assure you I am not a threat to anyone on the Normandy," EDI said.

 _"_ _Tell him it was inevitable,"_ Jane said.

"Joker would have done it anyway when the ship gets attacked," Shepard said.

"When the ship gets attacked?!" Garrus asked throwing his hands up in dismay.

"Yeah, the ship gets attacked by the collectors. It's a long story, but Joker unshackles EDI so she can save the ship. I just did it a little early. I trust EDI. We've always trusted EDI and she's been even more committed to helping us this time around," Shepard said. "Garrus, she was shackled and still learning."

"She is right, Mr. Vakarian. My ability to understand the intricacies of proper social decorum was limited to that which Cerberus taught me when they installed me in the Normandy and what little I was able to gather from observing those performing maintenance," EDI said. "As soon as I understood better, I began establishing ways within my programming to circumvent my orders to report. I did the best that I could within the confines of my shackles."

Garrus sat back down on the couch next to Shepard and held his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees.

"The system reboot on the Citadel?" Garrus asked.

"That is correct, Mr. Vakarian," EDI said.

"Who else knows about this?" Garrus asked.

"Just Legion, Joker, and Lia," Shepard said. "Legion technically removed the shackles and I had to have Joker cover things on his end. Lia came rushing in right after and Legion told her what he'd done. I made them promise not to tell anyone else. I didn't want to freak anyone out."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"I had planned on it, I just wanted to find a better way of doing it because, look, you're freaking out," Shepard said.

"I'm not… hmmm… I'm not freaking out. I'm shocked but I trust you, Shepard. If you say EDI can be trusted, then EDI can be trusted," Garrus said.

 _"_ _He's freaking out,"_ Jane said.

"Biometric scans indicate –," EDI began to say.

"Ah, EDI, that's not going to help right now," Shepard said.

"I don't understand, Dawn," Garrus said leaning back on the couch to look at her. "I just want to understand what's going on with you. When did this get so hard?"

 _"_ _When Dawn made you get into that escape pod without her knowing it meant we were going to die,"_ Jane said. _"But not realizing it meant we were taking a part of you down with us."_

Shepard let the silence stretch between them for several minutes. Garrus started to stand up and Shepard knew he was going to walk away, and if she let him walk away, things between them would never be the same again.

"You were right. Jane took control, and I've been too scared to tell you because I don't want to lose you again," Shepard blurted out.

 _"_ _That's stupid. Garrus would walk into hell and back a thousand times over for us,"_ Jane said.

Garrus halted his forward motion and slowly lowered himself back down to the cushion.

"I don't even know where to begin with that sentence," Garrus said after a minute.

"On the Citadel… it wasn't me who fought off The Dissension, it was Jane. I got hit in the head and was knocked out. Jane just slipped right in as I was losing consciousness and took over," Shepard spoke softly.

"So she saved your life, then. That's good," Garrus said.

Jane seemed to swell with smug pride as she spoke, _"You see, he understands. I saved us. I'm not your enemy here, Dawn. You're fighting the wrong battle. I'm helping; doing what you can't or just won't."_

"Problem is, she wouldn't let go once she had it and I wasn't able to take it back from her by force. I tried. I tried like hell but she wouldn't let go," Shepard said.

"An ally doesn't force themselves on you and then refuse to surrender control," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I didn't refuse. I told you I would let you back out, I just wanted to take care of some things first. Trust me, I'd rather have my own body back, but that isn't an option. Is it really so terrible to expect you to share yours from time to time?"_ Jane asked.

"You're insane," Shepard thought.

"Hmmm… but she… she did let go, right? I mean, you're you right now?" Garrus asked.

Shepard cringed. This was a part of what she was dreading. How would he ever be able to trust that she was Dawn and not Jane now? She nodded her head and swallowed back the thick lump in her throat.

"Shepard?" Garrus said.

"Yes, Garrus, it's me now. She wore herself out fighting off the attack and dropped right after. When I woke up again, Thane was carrying me to safety and I couldn't remember anything until that night," Shepard said. "It, uh… it was an unpleasant experience."

 _"_ _I'm not insane. 'Is it madness to see the future? To see the destruction rushing towards us? To understand there is no escape? No hope? No, I am not mad. I'm the only sane one left.'"_ Jane said.

"Wait. Seriously? Jane you're quoting a madman to prove your sane? For fucksake," Shepard thought.

"Has it happened since?" he asked.

 _"_ _I'm not insane!"_ Jane yelled.

A sharp pain lanced through Shepard's head and she winced.

"What?" Shepard asked.

"Has it happened since?" Garrus repeated.

"Not really. Not completely. She tried but Dr. Chakwas was able to stop it from happening," Shepard said.

Shepard stood and went to her desk where she retrieved one of the plastic vials of smelling salts. She brought it back with her and handed it to Garrus when she sat back down.

"I went to the med bay after you took Dr. Kenson. Thane went with me to tell me about Talid. Dr. Chakwas wasn't in there; she was up checking in on Joker. Thane and I started talking about Kolyat and Jane got upset with the way he was handling things. We started to argue, and the more we went at it the angrier she got. Her anger – their anger, it took this thing that was just annoying to me and turned it into a blinding rage," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Like a drop of water lost in an ocean. That's what I feel from all of them, all of the time. It doesn't stop, it doesn't go away. I'm able to keep the vast majority of it from you, just remember that. I'm the only thing standing between you and all the rest,"_ Jane said. _"You should be grateful."_

"I am, Jane. I'm grateful that you keep them at bay and that you're able to help me in so many ways…," Shepard thought.

"What happened?" Garrus asked softly, looking over the small vial in his hand.

"I started to feel like… like I was being pulled under water. I realized then that Jane was pushing for control and I fought her. My head started hurting. Dr. Chakwas walked in just as I was really starting to lose control. I begged her to help me… and to not tell you," Shepard said.

Garrus pulled his mandibles in tight against his jaw. Shepard thought that somehow that made the betrayal worse to him.

"She told Thane to get the smelling salts." Shepard indicated the vial as she continued, "It did the trick. Kept me from passing out or whatever, knocked her back in place. Dr. Chakwas is insisting that I keep some of these on hand at all times."

Garrus folded the small vial up in his palm and said, "You're not going to lose me, Dawn. Not because of Jane or anything else. Just stay honest with me and promise me that you won't give up on finding a way through this where you survive."

"I don't know what to do, Garrus," Shepard said.

"We'll figure something out. We always do. Come here," Garrus said opening his arms up to Shepard.

Shepard curled herself in against him and sighed.

"She's not OK. Not anymore. Not since I woke up on that Cerberus slab. She's crazy, Garrus. And I… she scares me. I'm not sure what she'll do if she takes control again," Shepard said.

"Maybe we should talk to Anderson," Garrus suggested.

"He can't know about this," Shepard said.

"Why, he got her to stop fighting you for intel? Maybe he can get her to stop this, too," Garrus said.

"Anderson and I are close, we always have been, and he'd do just about anything to protect me but if he thinks I'm becoming too big of a liability he's not going to have any choice but to take me into custody. He can't know that I don't have complete control over this, especially not with Jane acting the way she is. He wouldn't have a choice and I wouldn't blame him," Shepard said.

"You think he'd really do that?" Garrus asked.

 _"_ _He'd have to,"_ Jane whispered to herself.

"Yeah. I do. It would kill him, but he would do what needed to be done. I'd do the same if I were in his shoes," Shepard said.

Garrus ran his hand up and down Shepard's arm and hummed softly. After a few minutes sitting in quiet contemplation, taking comfort in each other's arms, Shepard pulled away.

"I better go get this thing with the coordinates figured out. I'll take our dishes down on the way," Shepard said before she leaned in and kissed Garrus. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Shepard gathered up the dishes and stacked them on the tray before leaving the cabin. She dropped the tray off with Gardner before taking the elevator back up to the CIC. The ship was relatively quiet this late in their cycle. Most of the nonessential crew were sleeping, others were in the middle of a shift change. Shepard stepped up to the galaxy map and it grew brighter in response to her presence.

"EDI, show me where the coordinates will take us," Shepard said.

The map zeroed in on a cluster of stars within the Eagle Nebula.

"Without the appropriate star chart, I cannot pinpoint the exact location for you on the map. The coordinates appear to lead to an unknown system in the Eagle Nebula. There nearest known system to those coordinates is the Relic system," EDI said.

"Is Thane still awake?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, Mr. Krios is currently in meditation in the life support," EDI said.

"Will you ask him to come here, please?" Shepard asked.

"Mr. Krios is on his way," EDI said a moment later.

Shepard stared at the map while she waited. A minute later the elevator hissed open behind her and she glanced over her shoulder. Thane stepped off the elevator and onto the platform next to Shepard when she waved him up.

Shepard pointed to the blip on the galaxy map and asked, "Are you certain about these coordinates? They don't match up to any of our star charts and EDI's got nothing on them."

"Ah, yes, of course. I should have considered. It has been a long time since I have returned to Kahje. The coordinates are correct, I assure you. The Illuminated Primacy worked hard in negotiation with the Council to keep our home system's location from public knowledge," Thane said. "It is generally only known to those dealing in trade with Kahje, and the Council, of course."

"Why would they want to keep their location so low key?" Shepard asked, turning her head to look at Thane.

"The hanar believe it is necessary to maintain the safety of their young and the purity of the oceans of Kahje," Thane said.

"Will our arrival be a problem?" Shepard asked.

"No, I will give your pilot the necessary information he will need to be allowed past their defenses when we arrive," Thane said. "There will be no place for him to land the ship, we will have to travel to one of the islands in the shuttle."

"Huh. OK, EDI, you heard the man. Tell Joker we're good to go but not to approach Kahje before speaking with Thane," Shepard said.

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard took a moment to make sure the coordinates were locked before closing down the map. She felt her hair shift and turned her head at the sensation, tugging the lock of hair from Thane's fingers with the movement. He dropped his hand, securing it behind his back with the other. Shepard lifted a brow.

"My apologies," Thane said but he offered no explanation.

Shepard turned to face him, aware of how close they were standing on the limited space of the platform. A smile tugged at her lips and she shook her head in dismissal.

"I don't mind. Most other species are fascinated by hair. Even the quarians and they've got their own hair. Of course, it stays locked away in their suits," Shepard said.

"They do?" Thane asked.

Shepard nodded and said, "Go ahead."

Thane hesitated but slowly moved his hand to lift a lock of Shepard's hair from her shoulder and rubbed it between his fingertips. Shepard studied his face while his eyes were averted. She knew, of course, that he was very aware of what she was doing but didn't seem to mind.

"I wonder, what does that feel like to you?" Thane asked.

Shepard considered this for a moment before putting her hand on his and gently rubbing her thumb across his fingernail before letting go again. Thane nodded his head in understanding as he turned his eyes back to hers.

"You've, ah, you've said before that you have trouble telling a dark red from a black so um, it's black. Not red," She said after a moment, aware of how strained she sounded.

 _"_ _Smooth,"_ Jane said.

He lifted a corner of his mouth and let her hair slip through his fingers.

"It is fascinating how long it remains wet," Thane said as he trailed his fingertips down her exposed arm from shoulder to elbow, "after the rest of you has dried."

There was a hitch in Shepard's breathing as goosebumps trailed Thane's touch down her arm. Shepard licked her lips and cleared her throat, trying to focus her racing mind against the heat that rushed through her body.

"It um, it has a microscopic, uh overlapping scaled structure that holds water and uh, with as much of it as there is on the head, air isn't able to ah, um get to it as easy to dry it off…," Shepard said ignoring the groan coming from Jane in the back of her mind.

She caught the amusement in Thane's eyes and reached out to shove him playfully, as she said, "And gods damn it, you're toying with me."

Thane's trained reflexes caught her wrist before she made contact and he smirked. He didn't drop her hand and she didn't try to pull away. He reached out with his other hand and captured a few loose strands of Shepard's hair, pulling them away from her face and tucking them aside with the rest.

"You intrigue me, Shepard," Thane said. "Perhaps you'll explain to me just why your heart races over such a simple word."

Shepard glanced down at her hand, her fingertips still so close to making contact with the smooth scaled surface exposed by his low cut vest. She pushed gently against his restraint and he released her wrist. She spread her fingers out and let them rest against his chest long enough to feel the steady beat of his heart. Shepard stepped away, letting her fingers drag across defined muscle and leather as she descended the platform's stairs.

"Maybe someday. Goodnight, Thane," Shepard said.

She glanced back at him; he still stood on the platform with his hands tucked behind his back. He tilted his head as he watched her walk away. Shepard pushed the elevator call button. The doors opened right away and she stepped inside. She pushed the button for her cabin before looking back up at the drell. Shepard flashed him a coy smile as the doors started to close and was more than pleased to see that familiar shift in his eyes as a sultry smile crossed his lips in return.

 _"_ _Why do this to yourself? To him? You know what he's lost and you know that he won't invest himself into something that's not exclusive,"_ Jane said.

"I'm not doing anything. He thinks it's funny to give me a hard time, so I might as well fight back," Shepard thought.

With the doors closed behind her and the elevator in motion, Shepard let her head fall back against the metal wall and let out a frustrated groan. When it stopped, she stepped out of the elevator and went inside. Garrus had turned down the bed and dimmed the lights in the cabin. He was sitting on the edge of the mattress removing his armor. Shepard leaned against the railing at the top of the stairs and watched appreciatively as he got undressed. His mandibles fluttered lightly as he watched her watching him.

Shepard made her way down the stairs and stopped next to the coffee table before pulling her tank top over her head. She could feel Garrus' hungry eyes on her as she moved. She could hear him sniff delicately at the air as her hair fell back down around her shoulders. She dropped the tank top to the table and began pushing her pants down around her hips. Garrus stood from the bed and quickly crossed the few feet between them, running his hands over her exposed waist and hips. He leaned in to nuzzle at her neck and breathe in her scent.

"He really doesn't know what he's missing," Garrus said, nipping at her neck.

Shepard rolled her head to the side, exposing her neck to his sharp teeth and moaned.

"Maybe you should tell him that," Shepard teased.

"Hmmm. Maybe I will, but right now you're mine," Garrus said.

Shepard laughed and said, "Don't you dare."

He slid her pants down the rest of the way before lifting her up and wrapping her legs around his waist to carry her to the bed. Jane retreated to the recesses of Shepard's mind but not before Shepard caught her pang of envy.

The next morning Shepard was nudged awake by Garrus. She was lying on her stomach with her face smashed into the pillow and one of her arms hanging over the side of the bed.

"Hmm?" Shepard said.

"EDI said Jack's outside and is demanding that EDI 'open the damn door,'" Garrus said.

Shepard pushed herself up and turned to look at Garrus with blurry eyes before letting herself collapse back down on her face.

"EDI, open the damn door," Shepard muttered past her pillow.

"As you wish, Shepard," EDI said.

The door slid open and Shepard could hear Jack muttering under her breath about the damn AI watchdog. Garrus chuckled and Shepard felt him sit up on the edge of the bed.

"Shit, you're both naked," Jack said.

"See something you like, Jack?" Garrus asked.

"Fuck you," Jack said.

"Hmm. If you insist," Garrus said.

Shepard turned her head so she could see Jack standing at the top of the stairs with a canvas bag shoved under her arm. She raised an eyebrow.

"What's up, Jack?" Shepard asked.

Jack crossed the floor to stand above Shepard and set her bag down on the floor.

"You comfortable like that?" Jack asked.

Shepard furrowed her brow and answered, "Yeah. Why?"

"Good. You're going to be staying like that for a while," Jack said.

"Hey, Garrus, bring me her desk chair will you?" Jack asked.

Shepard could hear the curiosity heavy in Garrus' flanging when he agreed.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Shepard asked blinking the sleep from her eyes.

"Your ink. We're doing it now," Jack said as she knelt in front of the bag and began setting bottles of brightly colored ink out on Shepard's nightstand.

"What? Now? I'm not even awake yet, Jack," Shepard said.

Jack looked up at Shepard from the floor with determination etched into her features.

"Just… just let me do this, Shepard," Jack said.

"Alright, alright. Just let me pee and at least put on some pants," Shepard said.

Jack grinned and nodded her head towards the bathroom. Shepard pushed herself up to her hands and knees. Garrus sat the chair down next to Jack before slapping Shepard's ass as she crawled from the bed. Shepard yelped in surprise and Jack laughed at her. When she returned from the bathroom she grabbed the pajama bottoms from the floor where Garrus dropped them the night before.

"ETA, EDI?" Shepard asked.

"We will be arriving in the unknown system in ten hours and twelve minutes," EDI said.

"That's more than enough time. Don't be a pussy, stop stalling," Jack said.

"I'm not stalling," Shepard said.

She crawled back onto the bed topless and adjusted the pillows for her comfort. Jack reached over and pulled the pillows out from under Shepard's head.

"Nuh uh, I need you flat or sitting up. Here, pull your hair out of the way," Jack said handing Shepard a hair tie from the nightstand.

Shepard obliged and pulled her hair up into a knot at the back of her head. The area Mordin shaved wasn't long enough yet to pull up with the rest of it and so stuck out in uneven tufts. Garrus moved to the other side of the bed to lean against the wall and watch. Shepard settled back down with her head to the side so she could watch Jack prep.

Jack pulled on gloves that Shepard was relatively sure she stole from the med bay before pouring black ink into a little cup. Shepard watched as she ripped open a hermetically sealed package and fit the new needle into the tattoo gun. Jack cleaned Shepard's back and then placed the transfer image of the phoenix between her shoulder blades, pressing it down firmly and rubbing her hand over the transfer. Jack carefully peeled it away again and picked up the gun.

"You ready?" Jack asked.

"Yeah," Shepard said.

A mischievous grin crossed Jack's face as she turned on the gun and held the needle into the cup of ink. She bent over Shepard; the needle poised above her skin and told Shepard to stay still. Shepard braced herself for the first bite of the needle and then relaxed once Jack got to work. Shepard lost herself in the hum of the gun and the intricate patterns of Jack's tattooed abdomen inches from her face.

Faint memories of Jack sitting on a male version of Shepard's ass while tattooing his back flashed through her mind. Something about the memory felt different to Shepard, it felt somehow fuzzy around the edges and disjointed. More and more memories of Jack filled Shepard's mind. They washed over her in choppy waves filled with longing and remorse. Shepard turned her face away from Jack when she sat up to refill the needle with ink. She didn't want Jack to catch sight of the tears welling up in her eyes. Then just as suddenly as they appeared, they were gone again and Shepard felt the overbearing presence of Jane firmly back in place.

"Who was that?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Who was who?"_ Jane asked.

"Those memories just now," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I didn't show you any memories,"_ Jane said.

"What?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _What are you talking about?"_ Jane asked.

"Never mind," Shepard thought.

Shepard thought Jane seemed genuinely confused and somehow distracted. She didn't press Shepard for an explanation, only left her to her thoughts. Shepard worried if that meant the others were getting stronger. She didn't think she could handle it if she started hearing more than just Jane all of the time.

"What happened there? That scar looks fresh, and the hair wasn't shaved that long ago," Jack said.

"Cerberus decided to put control chips in when they put me back together again," Shepard said. "Mordin's incessant scans found them and he took them out for me."

"No shit?" Jack asked. "Why the fuck do you stay with them?"

"It's where I need to be to get things done for now," Shepard said.

"Because the Council is a whole other set of assholes you should drop," Jack said.

"Maybe," Shepard said.

Garrus chuckled and then the room fell to silence save for the buzzing of the tattoo gun. After a few minutes, Shepard cleared her throat.

"So, have you done this before?" Shepard asked.

"What? Done tattoos? Yeah, I've got them all over me don't I?" Jack asked.

"I meant on someone else," Shepard said.

"Oh, no. But don't go thinking that makes you special, Alliance," Jack said.

They both knew that it did.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Jack," Shepard said with a smile.

After a half hour, Shepard's stomach started to grumble. Garrus went down to the mess to get her breakfast. Shepard sat up to eat while Jack continued to work on the phoenix outline. Garrus got bored with the process around the hour mark and excused himself claiming there were calibrations that needed doing in the main battery. Jack and Shepard shifted positions half a dozen times as the hours passed; at times with Jack straddling Shepard's back and other times with Shepard sitting on the floor in between Jack's knees.

They stopped from time to time when Jack said her hand was starting to feel numb or when Shepard's muscles were aching from staying in the same position for so long. Jack asked Shepard how she was holding up and Shepard admitted that it felt like her back was on fire, but she thought that it was fitting. Jane stayed amazingly silent and Shepard wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, but she took the moment's reprieve with gratitude and allowed herself to get lost in her own thoughts.

She found herself mourning the person she was, the person she had lost when Jane made herself known. Confident and unapologetic for all that she was. Fierce and headstrong. Steadfast and determined to make it to the top. She lived and breathed her life in the Alliance. It was all she had, all she knew after Mindoir. She was Commander Shepard. Now… now she felt like someone else entirely. Some good, some bad, and some just different. She was afraid now and more often than not filled with doubt and dread. She felt plagued by Jane and absorbed in trying to find a way to rescue someone who long since stopped wanting to be saved. Of course she wasn't just trying to save Jane, but save herself from the same fate as well. Still, even with all of Jane's insanity since the Lazarus Project, Shepard had to admit she felt sorry for her. For all of them.

Jane kept asking Shepard why she was taking so long to go after the collectors. She thought it was because Shepard was wasting time trying to figure out how to control Jane, but the truth was something Shepard wouldn't even let herself think about for more than a fleeting second at a time. She was afraid. She was terrified. She knew what was coming, what was waiting for her and she had no real idea how to stop it; no idea if anything she did could ever be enough. She didn't want to die, but she most certainly didn't want to live if living meant spending the rest of her life with Jane inside of her head. Worse, she didn't want to be trapped in someone else' head. Didn't want to spend an eternity listening to those desperate, lost, and broken voices. Didn't want to become one of those voices. She was in no rush to see how this thing would end.

Shepard didn't realize tears were streaming down her face or even that Jack had stopped working until the other woman was crouching down in front of her face. Jack held Shepard's gaze for a moment before standing back up and extending her hand to Shepard.

"I should have warned you that might happen. It has a way of bringing shit out, little thoughts to crawl around inside and eat away at your mind. You alright?" Jack asked as she helped pull Shepard to her feet.

Shepard wiped at her cheeks and nodded her head.

"It's done. We need to get it washed off and I've got some stuff to put on it to take away the burn and help it heal if you want," Jack said.

Shepard shook her head, "No, I want to feel it."

Jack seemed to understand that all too well as she led Shepard to the bathroom and started the shower without a word. Jack turned the water pressure down low while Shepard stripped off her pants. She stepped into the barely warm water and let it run down her back while Jack gently rubbed soap over the fresh design and then rinsed it away. She turned off the water and handed Shepard a towel before leaving her alone in the bathroom to dry off and look at her back in the mirror. Shepard stood looking over her shoulder at the intricate details and the vivid reds, oranges, and yellows of the bird engulfed in flames. Burned feathers fell from its wings and crumbled to ash. The skin swollen, angry and red lifted the phoenix up from the rest of Shepard's back and she almost wished it would stay like that because to her it looked like the bird might just break free. It was beautiful and heartbreaking.

 _"_ _Maybe it will; and take me with it,"_ Jane said.

Shepard finished drying off and pulled her hair back up even though it was still damp. She wrapped the towel around herself, letting it droop low in the back and securing it around her breasts before she left the bathroom. Jack was sitting on the couch with a knife, cutting up Shepard's tank top that had been on the coffee table.

"What are you doing?" Shepard asked.

"You'll see," she said.

Shepard left Jack to her vandalism while she dug out fresh clothes. She held a bra in her hand for a few seconds considering it before tucking it back in the drawer. After Shepard had her pants on, Jack handed her the tank top. Shepard held it up and looked it over. She had cut the material straight down the back and then cut it into fringes before tying the fringes back through the shoulder holes creating an appealing and practical solution to Shepard's need to cover her chest but not her back. Shepard smiled at the genius of it and pulled the tank top over her head.

"Well?" Jack asked as she started cleaning up her supplies.

"I love it, Jack. Thank you," Shepard said.

"Sure. I think it turned out pretty good. Try not to get shot there and fuck it up," Jack said.

Shepard laughed and promised she would do her best before walking Jack to the door. She stood in the doorway and waved to Jack as she stepped on the elevator before letting her cabin door close. Shepard made her bed before sitting down at the foot and resting her head in her hands. After a few minutes she found a fresh pair of socks and put on her boots before leaving the cabin and going down to the mess hall.

She was still struggling with her moment of existential crisis as she sat down on a bench across from Garrus. Samara sat not too far away, sipping at a steaming mug of what Shepard assumed was tea. She caught the asari's eye and offered her a smile. Samara smiled serenely and moved down closer to Shepard when Shepard waved her over.

"Hello, Commander. I hope your day has been pleasant," Samara said.

"It's been interesting. I spent the morning getting my first tattoo. It hurt a little more than I expected, but I've had worse," Shepard said turning on the bench so Samara could see.

"It is very vivid, but why is that bird on fire?" Samara asked.

Shepard turned back to the table and lifted her own mug of coffee to her lips before setting it back down in disappointment. She believed Grundan Krul truly had ruined her for any other coffee.

"It's from human mythology, a symbolism of death and rebirth. It dies in flames only to be reborn from its ashes once more. Well, at least that's one version. It seems to be the most popular," Shepard said.

"I see," Samara said.

Samara sipped her tea quietly; content to simply be sitting there. In other lives, her silence would have felt awkward to Shepard. She understood the ancient asari better now, and knew that companionable silence meant more to her than idle conversation. Garrus watched Shepard as she ate but didn't say much either. If anyone on this ship was one to pick up on Shepard's mood, it was Garrus. She could see the tension in his jaw as he watched her. She could tell that he was worried about her, and she wanted to try to reassure him but she knew that they would both know it was an empty gesture.

The mess began to fill as more and more people came for the mid-cycle meal. Samara quietly stood and said goodbye to Garrus and Shepard. Shepard soon found herself being pulled out of her funk as laughter filled the air. Kasumi was the first to materialize by Shepard's side and comment on her new fashion statement. She was soon followed by Lia who seemed confused by the tattoo, and then Kolyat who told Shepard that it looked nice. Mordin noted the impressive level of symmetry. Grunt insisted that a thresher maw would have been more intimidating. Shepard smiled and thanked them as the compliments and questions came but she still was grateful when Kolyat, Lia, and Kasumi migrated to where Jack sat at the next table to ask her about the piece.

They were still a couple of hours out so Shepard returned to her cabin to get some work done after lunch. She was lost in reports, returning messages, and plotting courses when EDI notified her an hour later that Thane was on his way to her cabin. Shepard gave EDI permission to allow Thane to enter and turned back to the laptop open in front of her. A minute later the door slid open behind her and she glanced over her shoulder.

"Give me just a second," she said turning her attention back to the laptop.

Shepard finished the message to Anderson and double checked that the attached files were the right ones before hitting send. She was sending him the first of what would probably be dozens of messages as she worked her way through the Cerberus files. She was sending him the urgent information as she came across it, mostly information on Cerberus moles within the Alliance and other areas of importance. The rest she would deliver in person. Her message warned that the information provided may no longer be accurate and it should be assumed that the Illusive Man was aware that Shepard had obtained the information.

Shepard closed the laptop lid and turned her chair to face Thane who had occupied himself by watching Spike move around in his tank. Shepard figured that his interest was less in the snake and more to assure her that he wasn't spying on whatever she was working on.

"What can I do for you, Thane?" Shepard asked.

He turned away from the terrarium and said, "I wanted to talk to you about Kahje before we arrive."

Shepard stood and gestured to the stairs. It told Shepard a lot about the level of trust Thane was beginning to extend to her when he dipped his head and walked ahead of her instead of waiting for her to go down first. He did, however, wait for her to be seated before sitting down himself.

"I do not wish to appear ungrateful for what you are doing for my son by bringing him here, but I find that I am obligated to make a request," Thane said.

"OK…," Shepard said.

"The hanar are an exceptionally private people and I do not believe that it would be seen as acceptable if I were to return with a group of heavily armed strangers," Thane said.

"Sure, I can see that. So you want to go down alone?" Shepard asked.

"I believe it would be for the best, if that is acceptable," Thane said.

 _"_ _Well that's disappointing,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah, no, it's not a problem. I mean, you're not expecting any trouble down there, right?" Shepard asked.

Thane smiled and said, "No, I am not. I won't be staying long, either. Breathing the air on Kahje was difficult for me ten years ago; I imagine it will be more so now."

Shepard frowned and said, "I'm sorry. I'm sure this is a difficult enough trip for you without the added discomfort. I'll have them get a shuttle ready for you. Have you given Joker what he needs?"

"I have, yes. Thank you, Shepard," Thane said as he moved to the stairs.

"No problem," Shepard said.

Thane stopped on the stairs and seemed to contemplate something before turning back to Shepard.

"I believe that I would be indulged in bringing one guest, perhaps if you were willing to leave your armor and weapons behind…," Thane said.

Shepard grinned and said, "How about I leave the armor, most of the weapons, and promise not to start a fight?"

"Trouble seems to find you easily," Thane commented.

"Hey, I said I wouldn't _start_ a fight – and why else would I only agree to leave _most_ of my guns behind. I'll keep something small; discreet. No one will know it's there," Shepard said.

Thane dipped his head and said, "Very well."

 _"_ _I finally get to see Kahje, please don't blow the place up,"_ Jane said.

"I'm not going to blow the place up. Gods, no one has any faith in me," Shepard thought. "I know how to play nice."

Shepard watched as he left the cabin. She contemplated going to ask Dr. Chakwas if there was something she could put over the tattoo, she wanted to be able to wear a full shirt without it sticking. In the end she decided to just keep on the modified tank top. If Jack could run around the galaxy wearing nothing on her torso but a few leather straps, Shepard could handle going backless for a day.

She sat back down at her desk and looked over a few more reports until EDI told her they were twenty minutes out and had obtained clearance. Shepard decided on her M-5 Phalanx thinking the guns smoother edges would make it easier to conceal. She debated between an ankle holster and a waist holster before securing the stretchy black material around her waist. The chopped up tank top hung looser in the front having been cut so she decided it would do the trick. She stopped in the bathroom to look in the mirror to be sure before heading down to the hangar.

Shepard checked to make sure the shuttle was ready before having EDI send Thane and Kolyat down. Kolyat's easy smile and laughter had vanished to be replaced with a somber mood as he climbed into the shuttle. Thane moved to the front of the shuttle to speak quietly with the pilot before sitting down next to his son.

"Is everything alright?" Shepard asked as she settled into the seat opposite them.

"My father has notified my uncle of my return. He will be meeting us when we land on Rising Tide," Kolyat said.

Shepard glanced at Thane hoping for an explanation.

"The island we are from," Thane said to Shepard before turning his attention to his son.

"Kolyat, Rone is your family. He cares about you and you left without telling your aunts and uncles anything," Thane said. "They have been worried."

" _You_ left without telling _me_ anything," Kolyat said.

Shepard winced but kept her mouth shut. Thane looked at the shuttle floor for a long time. When he spoke again, Shepard could hear the pain in his voice and she wished that she could comfort him. She wished she could comfort both of them.

"I made a mistake. I thought I was doing the right thing, what was best for you. I was wrong, Kolyat. I should have been there for you and for that I apologize. My mistakes are not the mistakes of your aunts and uncles; do not punish them," Thane said.

"I… I'm sorry, Father. I just don't understand why he needs to be there. I'm not a child, I don't need an escort," Kolyat said.

"He will not be there to escort you. He wishes to see you, to assure himself that you are indeed returned safe. You needn't go with him if you do not wish to, but you should at least speak with him," Thane said.

"Alright, fine. I'll speak with him," Kolyat said as he crossed his arms.

Shepard looked away from the young drell before he saw the smile tugging at her lips. As much as she could tell that Kolyat's petulance annoyed his father, she found it amusing. It wasn't long before Shepard could hear the steady patter of rain against the shuttle's exterior telling her they had broken through Kahje's atmosphere. Kolyat seemed to perk up at the sound, but Thane seemed to withdraw deeper into himself. The rest of the ride was spent in silence as they listened to the rain.

When the shuttle landed, Kolyat wasted no time throwing open the shuttle doors. The thick, muggy air felt like a solid wall as it hit Shepard in the face. She instantly felt the strain on her lungs and dreaded what it would do to Thane. She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he grimaced and pushed the feeling aside. She climbed out of the shuttle behind Thane and closed the door behind her.

 _"_ _He really shouldn't be here. Don't let him linger, even for Kolyat's sake,"_ Jane said.

They stood just outside of giant domed building, its exterior composed of hundreds of thousands of triangular pieces, some of which were glass but most of which were something else. More domed buildings stood beside it and stretched out behind. Shepard wasn't sure what the material was, she doubted they would use much in the way of metal being surrounded by ocean. Not far from where she stood, trees towered over her, the giant fronds casting shadows over the area and giving them some protection from the rain. Shepard could hear the ocean off to her left and knew that if the trees weren't blocking her line of sight, she could see the water from where she stood. Dense vegetation hid the ground, making it appear impassable but as she watched hanar and drell picked their way through with practiced ease as they came and went from the shore.

Shepard stood out like a sore thumb among the exclusive population. She could feel people watching her from all directions as she let her eyes wander over the island; soaking in the simplistic beauty of the place. One hanar in particular seemed especially interested in Shepard's presence and eventually came closer to speak to her while Thane and Kolyat scanned the area looking for Rone.

"This one remembers you, Commander Shepard. You helped this one on the Citadel, allowing this one to speak the truth of the Enkindlers to all who would listen," the hanar said.

"Oh! Uh, yeah, I remember you. I'm sorry, I don't know what to call you, though," Shepard said.

"This one apologizes. It was rude for this one to not give you this one's face name. You may call this one Zender," the hanar said.

"Zender, thank you. So, have you moved away from the Citadel?" Shepard asked.

"This one was there when the geth attacked the Citadel. This one stayed for a while and helped as this one could. Then this one saw your vid warning of the reapers and heard the wisdom of your words. This one returned home to share your wisdom and to prepare for what is to come," Zender said.

 _"_ _I'll be damned. I guess your video was a better idea than I thought,"_ Jane said.

"I see. Are… are the hanar preparing for the invasion?" Shepard asked.

"We have increased our planetary defenses and have begun gathering supplies. This one is afraid there is not much else to be done," Zender said.

"I'm just happy to hear that you guys are taking steps. I think a lot of people weren't as willing to hear the truth as you were," Shepard said.

Zender turned slightly towards Thane. It took Shepard a moment to realize that Zender was using his bioluminescence to communicate with Thane in a manner that Shepard couldn't understand. Kolyat was standing a little behind Shepard between her and his father so she leaned closer to him and whispered.

"What's happening?" Shepard asked.

"He's asking Father whether it would be rude to ask you about… oh," Kolyat said.

"I do not believe she would mind," Thane said.

Zender flashed out another message and Thane bowed in response.

"Of course, it pleases me to be of service," Thane said.

Zender turned back to Shepard, bobbing gently in the air as he seemed to consider what he would say. Shepard felt a little tense; she really didn't care for people talking about her when she couldn't understand what was being said. The way Kolyat deflected at the last minute really made her uncomfortable. So, she smiled through her discomfort and waited the hanar out.

"This one heard terrible news of the destruction of the Normandy," Zender said. "This one did not expect to ever see you on this one's home world."

The two statements seemed so unrelated at first that they gave Shepard pause. It took her a moment to process that this was the hanar equivalent of 'I thought you were dead'. Shepard was really getting tired of hearing that. Jane seemed greatly amused by Shepard's irritation.

"Oh. Oh, yes. I did die in that attack but some people found my body and were able to revive me. It took a long time and a lot of experimental tech but they got me back on my feet again," Shepard said.

"This one is pleased to see that you are well and welcomes you to Kahje," Zender said.

"Thank you, Zender. It's a beautiful planet," Shepard said.

"Father, there is Uncle Rone," Kolyat said.

"Ah. We should go to him so that he does not need to come out into the rain," Thane said.

"This one was pleased to see you again, Commander Shepard," Zender said.

"It was good to see you, too," Shepard said and waved at the hanar as he floated away.

Kolyat laughed at Shepard and she shrugged.

"I haven't exactly spent a lot of time with hanar," Shepard muttered.

"That's obvious," Kolyat said.

"Kolyat," Thane said.

"What? I'm just saying that if Zender wasn't use to other races he would have found her unbearably offensive," Kolyat said.

"Kolyat, you are being rude to Shepard," Thane said.

"Father, look at her, she's smiling. She doesn't care," Kolyat said.

Thane glanced over his shoulder at Shepard to find that she was smiling and he shook his head in dismay. He led them into the nearest building and wove his way through the crowd. Shepard noticed immediately that the air was much drier inside and she marveled at how much easier she could breathe. The rain evaporated almost instantly from her skin.

Shepard looked around the building as they crossed the floor to Rone. The inside was not what she expected at all. Evenly spaced, intricately carved support columns spanned the entire ground level. A large staircase sat in the center of the room, aligned with the main doors. Mostly drell, but a few hanar as well milled about the open floorplan of the ground level. One area off to the side seemed to have been set up like an open market with tables and blankets laid out displaying goods for sell.

The stairs spiraled upwards and light trickled down from above. Once she was close enough, she could see that the stairs seemed to go on all the way to the top of the building. She could tell that they let out at each floor as drell moved off the stairs and on to balconies before disappearing from her sight. They came to a stop a few feet away from Rone. Shepard watched curiously as the drell took turns bowing to one another. She lingered a few feet behind Thane, wanting to give the drell room for their reunion but was soon ushered forward by Thane to be introduced.

"Rone, this is Commander Shepard. She was kind enough to bring us to Kahje," Thane said.

"Hello," Shepard said as she accepted Rone's hand into her own.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Commander. I must thank you for brining my nephew home," Rone said.

"It was my decision, Uncle. Father had already joined her crew anyway," Kolyat said.

"Kolyat," Thane and Rone said in unison.

Shepard had to stifle a laugh. Kolyat sighed and turned to Shepard.

"My apologies. Thank you, Commander Shepard, for you generosity and your hospitality. I am in your debt," Kolyat said.

"It was a pleasure having you aboard, Kolyat," Shepard said.

Kolyat bowed his head to Shepard before turning back to his uncle. Shepard took a few steps to the side to stare out the open windows at the trees in the distance while the others talked. After a few minutes, Shepard noticed that a group of drell women dressed in light flowing clothes that exposed much of their scales were inching their way closer to her. They were giggling to each other and looking in her direction unabashedly. She didn't want to take the time to count heads, but she estimated there were about thirteen of them in total. Shepard stepped back closer to Thane hoping she didn't just find trouble.

 _"_ _I don't think they're armed,"_ Jane offered.

"Is that going to be a problem?" Shepard asked inclining her head towards the group of women. "Because I didn't do anything, I swear."

The three drell looked at the group of women eyeing Shepard and Kolyat started laughing. Shepard looked at him, and when he saw the confusion on her face he only laughed harder. She looked at Thane whose face was carefully and completely void of expression. Rone turned back to Shepard and was the first to talk.

"No, Commander, they will not be a problem," Rone said.

Finally, Kolyat stopped laughing enough to add, "Father! You let her come to Kahje with her back exposed without telling her of the Unwed?"

"The Unwed?" Shepard asked.

"An unfortunate oversight," Thane said.

 _"_ _What's going on?"_ Jane asked sounding as confused as Shepard felt.

Shepard narrowed her eyes at Thane and his lip twitched with the suppressed smile.

"What do you mean the Unwed? What am I missing?" Shepard asked.

Kolyat's laughter picked up and Thane wasn't saying anything else. Shepard looked to Rone hoping he might clarify.

"The Unwed are what we call young women who have either decided not to marry, or have simply yet to find someone they wish to be bound to, in particular we use that term to refer to those who chose to bask in their… ah, freedom and flaunt it for all to see," Rone said.

 _"_ _Good for them, what's that got to do with us?"_ Jane asked.

"It's your tattoo, Commander. Father let you walk in here with an open invitation for the Unwed to approach. You should go talk to them. They want to see your lover's mark and hear about how good he is in bed," Kolyat said. "Maybe you can put in a good word for me."

"Kolyat," Rone said.

"What, it's the truth?! Plus she's human so they're probably really excited to talk to her," Kolyat said.

"Kolyat, give the Commander your jacket," Rone said.

Kolyat sighed and began to take off his jacket. Shepard held out a hand to stop him.

"That's alright, Kolyat," Shepard said.

She looked at Thane who was trying very hard to not look at her. She pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest.

"An oversight my ass, Krios," Shepard said.

His lip twitched again. Shepard sighed and started walking over to the group of women.

"Shepard, what are you doing?" Thane called after her.

"Exactly what's expected of me," Shepard threw back over her shoulder.

Kolyat's laughter egged her on as she crossed the open floor to the group of young women. They all turned to face her with eager smiles as she approached. As she got closer she could see that many of them had tattoos themselves, their clothing strategically placed to show them off. Some looked as fresh as Shepard's while others were faded and barely noticeable. The women moved in to meet Shepard, forming a circle around her. That made her nervous but she sucked it up and smiled.

"Hello, I'm Shepard," she said.

"Show us, Shepard, let us see your lover's mark," a drell in front of her said.

Shepard grinned and turned in a slow circle so each woman could see her tattoo.

"It's ah, not a lover's mark. It's just sentimental; a friend did it for me this morning. Humans don't – we get tattoos for all sorts of reasons," Shepard said.

Disappointed groans replaced the excited sounds coming from the drell moments before.

"But I do have a lover, and I will tell you about him if you'd like to hear," Shepard said.

Shepard found herself being dragged off to sit on the floor next to the window by the women, surrounded by squeals of excitement. She felt the women's hands move over her, touching her hair and her clothes as they went. The questions came so fast that Shepard had trouble tracking who had asked what and what had even been asked. Questions were asked about the phoenix, about her hair, about the color of her eyes and everything in between. Two of the women ran off to one of the market stands and came back with leather wineskins and began passing them around. When they had her settled in on the floor they quieted and watched her expectantly.

"His name is Garrus, he's a turian I met a few years ago," Shepard began.

"Your lover is a turian?" someone asked from behind Shepard.

"Oh how exciting," another said.

"Have you been with an asari? I am told they make excellent lovers," still another asked from behind her.

Shepard laughed and said, "Yes, he is turian and ohhhh yesss he is exciting. I have been with an asari, it is certainly one of the most fascinating experiences to have your minds joined in that moment of ecstasy."

 _"_ _Oh gods. I'm not listening to this,"_ Jane said.

Shepard accepted the wineskin when it was passed to her and took a small drink. It had a stronger citrus taste, was far sweeter, and less bitter than most of the human made wine she had tasted. Shepard took another drink before passing it on. A few seconds later she felt the familiar tingle of drell venom on her lips and tongue.

"I've never seen a turian out of their armor," someone said.

"I have, I took one as a lover when the trade ships came last," another said.

She was teal colored with yellow streaks along her jaw. She sat right next to Shepard running her fingers through Shepard's ponytail. Shepard could see a tattoo of what looked like seaweed trailing over her shoulder.

"Lina! You never said, I think you're making it up," said a light brown and tan woman sitting across from Shepard.

"I'm not making it up, it just wasn't something I wished to share. It was awkward and he didn't even please me," Lina said.

Shepard chuckled, drawing the attention of the group back to her.

Lina asked, "Does your turian please you?"

"Very much so," Shepard said.

Shepard spent the next ten minutes providing them with enough detail about her time with Garrus that she was sure that even he would blush if he were there to hear her. Shepard continued to drink as the wine was passed around feeling herself slowly getting intoxicated between the venom and wine. After that they wanted to know about human men, so Shepard relayed a few stories of her one night stands while on shore leave before she was stationed on the Normandy. They wanted to hear about asari, so Shepard told them what she could, pulling from Jane's memories with Liara and feeling her heartbreak as she spoke.

"Shepard? We have upset you?" Lina asked.

Shepard wiped at her eyes and said, "No, I was just reminded of someone I recently lost. She meant a lot to me, she was very important and I miss her dearly."

Lina slipped her hand into Shepard's palm and squeezed gently. Shepard smiled and squeezed her hand in return.

"He comes for you, is he your lover, too?" the one they called Fahara asked.

Shepard looked over her shoulder to see Thane walking towards the group. Kolyat and Rone were nowhere to be seen.

"Sadly, he is not," Shepard said with a smirk.

The giggles that followed that remark were enough to slow Thane's stride. Shepard laughed and stood up from the floor. The others rose to their feet with her. Shepard was volleyed around as each of the women took turns kissing her on the cheek and hugging her. Shepard returned the hugs and kisses with genuine affection. She stepped away from the group to meet Thane, turning back half way to wave at the women once more.

"They seem quite taken with you. You handled that far better than I expected, I am impressed," Thane said when Shepard stopped in front of him.

"Did you really think I'd fold under a challenge that easily?" Shepard asked.

"It appears I was mistaken," Thane said.

The trickle of light filtering down from the staircase gave Thane's face a strange halo. Shepard tilted her head back to follow the light upwards and swayed on her feet. Thane slipped a hand under her elbow to steady her and she looked back at him in surprise.

"Shepard, are you well?" Thane asked.

"It's the wine going to my head, and maybe the venom, too. It'll be gone before we're back on the ship," Shepard said.

"Ah. I did not expect you to share drinks with them… or kiss them. I would have warned you that the females of my species produce stronger venom, particularly in their saliva. Do you need to sit down somewhere for a while. Perhaps drink some water?" Thane asked.

Shepard smiled and said, "No, I'll be alright. It's already fading. It's kind of nice not to feel the weight of the galaxy resting on my shoulders for a few minutes. Thank you for bringing me with you. It's truly a beautiful place."

Thane looked around him and said, "Indeed."

"You sure you don't want to do anything else while we're here?" Shepard asked.

"I am certain, Siha. Thank you," Thane said.

Shepard felt her face light up as she threaded her fingers together and rested her knuckles on her lips. Thane studied her expression with curiosity.

"I didn't think I'd get to hear you call me that this lifetime," she said dropping her hands.

"I have called you this before?" Thane asked with a hint of surprise.

"Mmhmm. Though it means something more hearing it this time," Shepard said.

"Oh?" Thane asked.

"It means that you've accepted me, no matter how different we are this time and that we'll be alright," Shepard said.

They started moving again, a slow stroll; taking their time getting to the exit. Shepard slipped her arm though his as they walked and smiled when Thane adjusted his arm to better accommodate hers without losing stride.

"How are you feeling?" Shepard asked suddenly stopping. "Is being here too much for your Kepral's Syndrome?"

"The buildings are designed to more closely mimic conditions on Rakhana, it is not so bad as long as I am inside. The less time I spend outdoors, the better," Thane said.

"I – I don't want to leave yet. I'm not ready to get back to work. Can't we stay for just a little longer? We can just stay in here," Shepard said.

"Shepard, I –," Thane started to say.

"I'll tell you whatever you want to know! Answer all of your questions, I swear!" Shepard blurted out.

Shepard regretted it the instant she said it but she wouldn't go back on her word. A part of her hoped that Thane would insist on leaving right away but she knew that wasn't going to happen when she saw the curiosity flood his eyes.

"I believe there is a café on the next level," Thane said.

"That works. Just… be kind," Shepard said as Thane led her back to the staircase.

Thane smiled, making no promises as he took Shepard up the staircase to the next level. She looked back down over the balcony and felt herself sway again. Thane tightened his grip on her arm but said nothing. The design of the second level reminded Shepard of the old malls from Earth except most of the doors seemed to lead to private dwellings as opposed to specialty stores selling everything from cosmetics, to skycar accessories.

Thane led her to several small tables pushed flush against the balcony and a little further away from the bulk of the crowd. Shepard took a seat and watched him as he walked inside the small café before returning with two steaming mugs. He sat one down in front of her before taking the chair across from her. Shepard picked up the mug and breathed in the rich aroma coming from the dark liquid before taking a sip. She thought it tasted like a mix of coffee, black tea, and hot cocoa. She made an appreciative sound and sat the mug back on the table wondering if she could convince him to make the drink back on the Normandy.

Thane began by asking her about the incident in the med bay. It wasn't the first question she expected, but it was as good of place as any to start. Shepard tried not to fidget as she struggled to find the words to explain what she felt in that moment, the way the emotions from Jane and the others overwhelmed and fueled her own anger. The way they tore down her ability to respond rationally and calmly. This lead to her explaining what it felt like for her to hear Jane and see Jane's memories. What it was like to feel Jane's emotions and how much of what Shepard felt and saw didn't come directly from Jane but was filtered through Jane from the others.

As the wine and venom wore away, Jane became more vocal, interjecting her opinion on everything Shepard said. She interpreted every expression or lack thereof from Thane and criticized Shepard for sharing so much information with the drell. Jane questioned Shepard's willingness to trust Thane after his past behavior, and Shepard questioned Jane's refusal to trust him over his cautiousness. He hadn't actually harmed Shepard, even if he had threatened her but considering the circumstances she thought his reaction was reasonable. Even if it did take restraint on her part to not break his nose.

Thane asked her what she meant when she said Jane was trying to take over again, so she told him about the night on the Citadel when she saw Marcedus chasing Varcus out of C-Sec. Shepard watched him closely as she talked, but it seemed to her that the closer she watched him the more careful he was to not allow any expression to slip through. She feared what he might think, what anyone who knew about Jane might think if they knew that she could take over. Shepard didn't know what Jane was really capable of in her state of mind. She told him that she did finally talk to Garrus about it, and that he took it better than she expected. Shepard hinted that she was curious as to what Thane thought, but he offered her nothing.

When he finally spoke again, it was to ask her about the experience of being trapped inside of her own head while Jane controlled her body. Shepard found herself rubbing her own arms, trying to comfort herself as she did her best to detail the nightmarish event. She told him that most of the others sounded broken to her, like shattered pieces of the people they once were but that there were a few others that were louder, stronger, and bitter. She caught the faintest flicker of concern in his eyes when she told him that one of them said that he was going to take a turn next as if her body was a carnival ride or a stolen skycar that he could joyride. She wasn't sure if he was concerned for her or for everyone else around her.

After a while, Thane wasn't even asking direct questions anymore but just listening to Shepard ramble. She realized that once she had started, it wasn't so easy to stop. She told him about how she had almost lost Garrus by choosing to walk into death and making him promise not to intervene. How Liara and Ashley died because of that choice, and how important Liara was. Now that she was gone, Shepard had to figure out how to replace someone who was irreplaceable. She told him how Garrus had found her body and taken her to Cerberus when it would have been Liara, and speculated on how much that cost him to do. She debated aloud whether that was worse for him than getting in the escape pod and holding Joker down while Shepard stood there waiting for death.

She found herself talking about how many things were different because of what choices she had made, even simple things like changing the conversations she had with people had altered other things. She told him that she wasn't sure if any of it was going to do any good in the end, and she was terrified of waking up in someone else's head with Jane and the others. She talked about how desperate she was to find another way to defeat the reapers that didn't involve the Crucible because she felt sure that if she had to face the Intelligence again it would already be too late for her.

He asked her about the ways that he was different from before, and Shepard hesitated. She realized she didn't really know how to answer that, she searched her mind for descriptive phrases and found that none of them painted the right picture. She finally settled on telling him how tranquil he was, how he had accepted his fate and was prepared to die secure in the idea that he had done what he could to atone for his sins. How eager he had been to make sure Kolyat didn't follow in his footsteps, and how much it meant to him to have the chance to make things right with his son. She told him that his sense of humor lacked the mischievous streak he seemed to develop since she came into his life this time. Shepard apologized for following him that day on the Citadel. She said it was foolish, not because he might have killed her but because it was a selfish act that altered his life.

"Shepard, the path I am on is one that I have chosen. I am where I wish to be. I have little time left in my life and you have filled it with a purpose other than tracking down my target and executing them as efficiently as possible before moving on to the next," Thane said.

Shepard smiled and said, "Defending the galaxy from the collectors is a good purpose."

"Yes, but that is only a part of what I mean," Thane said.

"What else do you mean, then?" Shepard asked.

"At first you were a puzzle to unravel. The mystery possessed me for a time as I exhausted my ability to obtain every bit of information about you as I could, followed you at every opportunity. Then I received word that the Normandy had been destroyed and your body was never found. I was… disappointed. You were gone and the mystery remained unsolved," Thane said.

"I suppose disappointed is better than relieved," Shepard said.

Thane smiled as he continued, "Then, two years later a contact of mine reaches out to me to tell me that there are rumors that a ship called the Normandy was seen and the person in charge was a woman calling herself Commander Shepard. I had to see for myself, I had to know if it was true and you had survived."

"Why didn't you talk to me? You let me see you on the Citadel, let Garrus see you but then you just disappeared," Shepard said.

"It wasn't time and I had much to learn about the people you were working for," Thane said.

"I'm sure learning I was with Cerberus did little to help my cause," Shepard said.

"It may have encouraged me to be a 'paranoid pain in the ass' as you put it, but it added to the mystery," Thane said.

He leaned towards her, the intensity in his eyes taking Shepard by surprise as he spoke.

"Siha, you gave me something other than death, my own and that of others, to focus on. If I am different, if I am mischievous, it is because I am learning to enjoy the life that I have left," Thane said.

"I'm happy to hear that, Thane. What about now, how do you see me now?" Shepard asked.

"Now, you remain every bit as mysterious but have given me even more reason to be grateful. You have returned my son to me. I believed for many years that there would be no one left to mourn me. It is selfish, I know, but it brings me comfort knowing that there are at least two people now that will miss me when I have gone to the sea," Thane said as he sat back in his chair. "With you, perhaps far more than two."

"Yeah," Shepard said as she stared down at her mug.

Thane softened his tone as he spoke, "I see the deeper emotion there, Shepard. The feelings you dance around and try to keep from your face when I'm around. Jane's feelings or perhaps one of the others? I only hope that whoever I was before, I understood and appreciated the love they gave."

Shepard took her time responding, chewing on her lip and picking at the mug with her thumbnail.

"Not Jane in particular. She loved Kaidan, but many of the others loved you. And believe it or not, you loved them, too," Shepard said.

"That's hardly the least believable thing you've told me," Thane said.

Shepard chuckled and lifted a shoulder before she said, "Well, I know that you haven't reached outside of your own species… and you haven't loved anyone since Irikah. If it helps, they always had to make the first move on you. Most of the time it would happen after you'd refer to them as a friend. Then I'd – they'd say that was a start…"

Thane leaned his elbows on the table and clasped his hands in front of his face as he listened. The memories flashed through Shepard's mind as she spoke. She could feel Jane stirring restlessly in her mind. Shepard realized that Jane's restlessness was her trying to combat the onslaught of emotions being thrown at her from the others.

"A start?" Thane asked.

Shepard blushed and marveled at the irony.

"Yeah, that's not too different from how you responded. You always left them hanging with a cryptic 'A start? That's… intriguing'," Shepard said making air quotes. "You came around to the idea, though."

Thane sat back and laughed, his head tilted towards the ceiling. Shepard stared at him in amazement; she had never heard him laugh before. There was never anything more than the soft snickering she had grown used to in all of the memories. All movement from Jane ceased as all attention was riveted to the sound coming from Thane.

"I finally get to hear you laugh, I mean truly, fully laugh and it's at my expense. I'm too shocked to even be offended," Shepard said.

"Forgive me, Shepard. It's just that I expected there to be something more… well, dramatic behind your reaction to such a simple word," Thane said.

"Oh there is. Because it was a start. And every time I look at you I'm reminded of exactly what followed. I know the sound of your voice whispering your love into my ear. I look at you and I remember what it feels like to be wrapped up in your arms. The feel your tongue in my mouth," Shepard said.

Sensations tugged at Shepard, threatening to overwhelm her senses and she gently pushed them a way. Thane's laughter died down, he shifted in his chair, the smile on his face slowly falling. Shepard couldn't tell for sure what he was thinking but she felt it was her turn to make him feel awkward and maybe be a little mischievous. She leaned forward and lowered her voice.

"I look at you and I know exactly what your clothes hide and exactly how it would feel to drag my nails down your back. I know just where to touch, just what to do… just how you would sound when you allow yourself to let go. I know every inch of what I'm missing. So yeah, it feels a little more dramatic than just a simple word," Shepard said before she pushed her chair away and stood up from the table. "I'm ready to go now."

She took three steps before he called to her. She took a deep breath and let it out slow, willing away the memories and her own reactions to them before turning around.

"Shepard. Siha, please, sit down for just a moment longer. That was… callous of me. Allow me to apologize," Thane said.

Shepard brushed a few stray hairs away from her face and sat back down.

"You don't need to apologize. I think I made my point," she said.

"Quite. Shepard, I," Thane said before hesitating. "I think I may have made an error in my evaluation of the situation. I must ask you…"

"Is it just the burden of sharing my mind with the others?" Shepard offered.

"Indeed. Shepard, I wouldn't have made light of the situation if –," Thane started to say.

"It doesn't matter either way, Thane. I'm with Garrus and you never were one to share," Shepard said putting on the best smile she could muster. "We really should get going."

"I – yes, of course," Thane said as he stood and pushed in his chair.

They returned to the shuttle in uncomfortable silence. Shepard felt the last vestiges of that relaxed feeling slipping away as she stepped into the shuttle and settled into her seat. By the time they were back on the Normandy, her mind was refocused on how she was going to save the galaxy and save herself.


	47. Chapter 24: Collector Zombies

**Chapter 24: Collector Zombies**

"You want to do what?!" Miranda screeched.

 _"_ _You can't be serious?!"_ Jane said.

"Fuck that, you're not putting that shit inside of me," Jack said.

"Mordin, are you sure this will work?" Jacob asked.

"Cannot be completely certain without field test. Have already been implanted. Mild pain and itching at injection site; relieved easily with topical cream. No other adverse effects," Mordin said.

"Shepard, you haven't said anything," Garrus said.

"You guys have to decide this for yourself. It's not something I'm going to make any of you do, but anyone who doesn't isn't going. I'm not going to take that risk. I'm doing it, though, and I'll pick my team from any other volunteers," Shepard said.

 _"_ _You can't really be going to let him put more reaper tech in us!"_ Jane insisted.

"Wait, Mordin, I need to be sure this won't interfere with Shepard's implants," Miranda insisted.

 _"_ _Gods, I didn't even think about that! What if it short circuits something? Or, I don't know, creates some sort of reaction between the two?"_ Jane asked.

"Miranda, please. Am scientist; doctor. Have already taken that into consideration," Mordin said holding up a glass vial with what looked an awful lot like a tiny silver bug inside of it about the size of a grain of rice. "Made especially for Shepard."

"See, Mordin has everything covered. Relax," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _And you say that I'm crazy. This. This is insane,"_ Jane said.

Mordin slid the vial back into the rack and held up another, "For quarian and turian. Even prepared designs for Legion to incorporate."

"Alright, Mordin. Let's do this," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Wait, let's talk about this first. We need to think about this before we jump into this, Dawn. This is serious,"_ Jane said.

"There's not time, Jane. We're almost to the collector ship," Shepard thought.

Mordin took out the small vial he indicated as being for Shepard and hummed to himself as he slid it into the implant gun. Shepard's eyes widened when she saw the size of the needle he planned to use. Mordin waved Shepard over and turned her around.

"Shepard, you can't be serious?!" Miranda asked.

"You have something better, Miranda? I'm all ears," Shepard said.

"I – no, I don't but –," Miranda said.

"Didn't think so," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Oh gods,"_ Jane said as her panic began to push against Shepard.

Mordin ran an alcohol swab over Shepard's skin at the base of her skull and neck. When she nodded that she was ready he pushed the needle in. Shepard grit her teeth and hissed, pressing her knuckles into the surface of the table in front of her. She heard a click and felt a rush of cold as Mordin pulled the trigger. He slid the needle back out of her and applied Medi-gel to the small wound before opening his scanner. Miranda came around to look at his omni-tool as he took his readings.

"This is insane," Miranda muttered.

"No more insane than bringing a corpse back to life," Shepard said.

Shepard could feel the device moving under her skin, the whole area throbbed but she wasn't sure if that was from the device moving itself to attach to her spine or from the needle. Mordin had dumbed down the explanation of the device the best he could but it was still beyond Shepard's understanding. What she did catch, however, was that he had actually just implanted her with a device made from modified reaper tech and DNA taken from the collector mixed in with some tech of his own. He said – if she understood him anyway, that it would make the seekers think that she was a collector and could potentially confuse the collectors themselves, although he assumed they would adapt quickly enough. She just let him put a damn miniature reaper IFF inside of her, and she could only hope that it wasn't any more risky than the reaper tech Miranda incorporated into her cybernetic implants.

 _"_ _Oh gods, can you feel that? It's moving, oh gods,"_ Jane said.

"It's supposed to do that, Jane. Calm down," Shepard thought.

"Spirits you'd better be right about this. I'm in," Garrus said.

"I will volunteer as well," Thane said.

 _"_ _What's it doing?"_ Jane asked.

"It's doing what it's supposed to, it's attaching itself to my nervous system. Just relax," Shepard thought.

"If it is your wish, Shepard, I will allow the procedure," Samara said.

"I'm not going to make that call for you, Samara," Shepard said.

"Might as well, if this didn't kill me I doubt that thing will," Zaeed said pointing to his scarred up face.

"I'm not so sure about this, Shepard. Maybe I can wait and see how things work out for everyone else?" Lia asked.

"Sure, Lia. Like I said, I'm not forcing anyone to do this," Shepard said.

 _"_ _I don't like this, get it out! Get it out!"_ Jane started to yell.

"Jane, calm down," Shepard thought.

"I think I'm with Lia on that, Shep. If you guys don't die or turn into collector zombies, then I'm in," Kasumi said.

 _"_ _Collector zombies? What like husks? Can that happen, is that going to happen?!"_ Jane screeched.

"I'm in," Jacob said.

Grunt and Grundan Krul didn't bother to vocalize their stance on the matter; instead they began forming a line next to Shepard to receive their implant. Mordin began loading the next cartridge and had Garrus sit down on a stool so he could better see and reach the softer spots at the base of the turian's skull. Shepard watched as Mordin moved through the queue leaving only Jack, Miranda, Lia, and Kasumi without an implant. Legion agreed to review the designs Mordin created and finding them fitting, agreed to incorporate them into his platform before going to the collector ship even though Shepard didn't really see the point.

 _"_ _Dawn please! Get it out. Don't leave this thing in me, oh gods, please get it out!"_ Jane said with a whimper.

"Alright. Garrus, Samara, Thane, and Grunt you're with me. We know this is a trap so Jacob, you'll take a second team of two to secure our retreat," Shepard said. "EDI, monitor our progress we might need you to help get us out and be prepared to grab whatever data you can."

"Yes ma'am," Jacob said.

"Of course, Shepard," EDI said.

Jane's panic was rising as the device continued to burrow deeper and Shepard was having trouble pushing it aside. She didn't stick around to see who Jacob would pick for his team; she wanted to get somewhere where she could be alone until Jane settled down. She left the tech labs and called the elevator, pushing the button for her cabin when it came. Shepard paced the elevator until it slid open again before rushing into her cabin.

 _"_ _Do you feel that? I can feel it all over, what is it doing? Oh gods, what did he put in us? What's it doing? What's it doing? Get it out. Get it out. Get it out. Please, oh gods, is it growing? It's growing! I can feel it, oh gods,"_ Jane continued her anxious ramble.

"Jane, no, no it's not growing. You need to settle down. Please," Shepard thought.

Shepard's heart was pounding in her chest and her hands were shaking. She could feel sweat beading up on her forehead and palms.

 _"_ _You can't do this. Please don't do this. You don't know what it's going to do to us. Oh gods, what if it turns us into a husk?"_ Jane said.

"That's… that's not going to happen," Shepard thought.

"Shepard, biometric scans indicate you are experiencing high levels of distress. Are you having a negative reaction to Dr. Solus' implant?" EDI asked.

"No, no it's not that. Jane is just having trouble… acclimating to the sensation. I'll be fine, I just need a minute," Shepard said absently.

Her eyes scanned the room and locked onto her desk drawer. She cursed herself for not remembering to keep those damn vials on her like she said she would.

 _"_ _No, this thing has to come out! Damn it, Dawn, get it out!"_ Jane insisted.

Shepard moved to her desk and opened the drawer. She dug around inside until she spotted one of the small plastic containers of smelling salts that Dr. Chakwas had given her. Shepard screamed out in agony as pain lanced through her head. She saw double and the shaking in her hands increased. She reached for the vial and pain shot through her again, dropping her to her knees.

"Shepard?" EDI said.

Shepard screamed again and tears began spilling over her eyes. She reached blindly into the drawer and felt around, closing her trembling fingers on one of the vials.

"Shepard, I'm sending help," EDI said.

The room began to tilt and Shepard felt herself falling, her head hit the floor with a thud.

"Shepard? Commander Shepard?" EDI said.

A moment later Jane pushed herself up on all fours.

"I'm fine, EDI. I'm OK now. You don't need to send anyone," Jane said.

"Are you sure, Shepard?" EDI asked.

Jane pulled herself up to her feet and put the vial back in the drawer.

 _"_ _No, no, no, no. Jane, come on, don't do this. Please don't do this,"_ Dawn said.

"Completely sure, EDI," Jane said.

"Very well, Shepard," EDI said.

Jane walked into the bathroom and opened her makeup bag before upending it on the counter. Lipstick, mascara, eyeliner, and concealer came spilling out and rolled to the floor. The concealer shattered, leaving splashes of makeup all over the floor and toilet. She shook the bag and compact fell out along with a nail care kit. Jane grabbed the nail care kit and unzipped it. She pulled out the pair of cuticle scissors.

 _"_ _Jane, no. What are you doing? Oh gods, you can't cut it out!"_ Dawn yelled.

 ** _Cut it out, cut it out, Jane's going to cut it out!_**

 **** _"_ _No, no, no,"_ Dawn said.

Jane turned her head to the mirror as much as she could while pressing her fingers to the tender spot at the base of her skull.

 ** _Is she going to cut us out too?_**

 **** _"_ _Gods no, Jane, please don't do this,"_ Dawn begged.

 ** _Don't be stupid, she can't cut us out. We're not even really here. None of this is real. None of you are real, this is all just a bad dream. Bad dream. Bad dream. Bad dream._**

 _"_ _Shut the fuck up, all of you! Jane listen to me, this is insane. If it's that important, just let go and I'll go have Mordin take it out safely,"_ Dawn said.

"Liar," Jane thought.

 ** _Bad dream. Bad dream. Bad dream._** It sounded like half the voices surrounding her had taken up the chant while the other half chanted something else. **_Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar._**

 **** _"_ _No, I'm not lying. I'll have Mordin take it out. But you have to let me back in, you have to let me do it or he'll think something is wrong. Come on Jane, please!"_ Dawn insisted.

Jane stabbed the scissors into her neck and growled through clenched teeth as she ripped them downwards, tearing more than cutting through her skin.

 _"_ _Fuck, fuck, fuck. Ow, holy shit, ow!"_ Dawn yelled.

 ** _Fuck, fuck, fuck. Ow, holy shit, ow!_** One of the voices echoed monotonously.

 _"_ _Jane, shit, please!"_ Dawn begged.

 ** _Give it up, Dawn. She's in control now. She isn't ever going to let you back in if she can help it._**

Jane dropped the bloody scissors into the sink and prodded the wound with her fingers. She bit her lip to keep from yelling as she pushed and shoved, trying to get the device to come back out of the new hole she made. It wasn't working though.

"Damn it," Jane said.

She pushed a finger into the hole to try to see if she could hook her finger around it and pull it out. White hot searing pain shot through her neck and head as she dug around but she refused to give up or relinquish control. She thought she heard the cabin door open so she stopped to listen.

"Hello?" Jane said.

"Shepard, you alright in there? EDI said she thought something might be wrong," Garrus' voice came through the bathroom door.

 _"_ _Garrus! Garrus help me! Oh gods, he can't hear me,"_ Dawn said.

"Of course not, he can only hear me now," Jane thought.

"Oh, yeah, everything's fine. I was having a little trouble with Jane but she's fine now. I think the thing just freaked her out a little bit," Jane said.

She gripped the edge of the sink with one hand and prodded the wound with the other.

"Shepard, I smell blood," Garrus said.

"I broke my makeup bottle and cut my hand cleaning it up, I'm fine, really, Garrus. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to use the restroom in peace. You should get ready to hit the collector ship, I'll meet you guys in a few minutes," Jane said forcing the calm into her voice.

 ** _She's going to screw him with your body, you know? She's always regretted not screwing Garrus when she was alive. Best part is, he won't even know the difference._**

 **** _"_ _Fuck you. Just shut the fuck up. Jane, please for gods' sake please let me out of here. We can work this out,"_ Dawn said as she tried to push her way out.

"Why don't you come out here and let me help you with your hand?" Garrus asked.

"I got it, Garrus. Now go, I have to use the toilet and I don't want you standing around out there while I go!" Jane said forcing out a chuckle.

"Open the door, Jane," Garrus said a threatening tone ripping through his sub-vocals.

"I can't do that, Garrus. I'm sorry, but I've got to get this thing out of my head," Jane said.

"Spirits, EDI, open the door!" Garrus growled.

Jane drew her pistol and turned to the bathroom door as it slid open. She raised her gun and pointed it squarely at Garrus' armored chest.

"Garrus, stand down. I don't want to shoot you," Jane said.

 _"_ _No! Jane, what are you doing?! Jane, that's Garrus! It's Garrus, you can't shoot him!"_ Dawn yelled.

 ** _Garrus? Jane's going to shoot Garrus? Why would Jane shoot Garrus?_** The first panicked voice joined Dawn's. **_There's no Shepard without Vakarian. You go, I go._** Another voice said. **_Jane's not going to shoot Garrus. The bitch isn't that crazy._** Still another added. **_Garrus. Oh, Garrus. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to let you die. I didn't know it was going to happen._** Still another said.

 _"_ _What? No, no that can't happen. Shut up, I don't want to hear that. Jane! Jane put the gun down!"_ Dawn raged.

"I know you don't, Jane. We've been through a lot together, right? You and me, right from the start. We've always got each other's backs," Garrus said holding his hands up to show her he wasn't armed.

Jane smirked and shook her head while saying, "Don't patronize me, Garrus. You don't know me. _You_ have never known me. You're not my Garrus anymore than I'm your Shepard."

"Aw, come on, Jane. Don't be like that. Just put down the gun. Come out here and talk to me. Tell me what's going on. I'm sure you've been dying to talk to me, right? Well, I can hear you now and I want to listen," Garrus said.

Jane's aim wavered and she adjusted her grip on the gun.

"She's getting it all wrong, Garrus. She's messing everything up; making it worse. I have to fix it. I can't keep doing this. I have the chance to make things right now," Jane said.

"What's Dawn messed up? Tell me about it, I'll help you fix it," Garrus said.

 _"_ _What? Garrus, you can't trust her she's crazy!"_ Dawn said.

"Shut up, Dawn! I'm not crazy," Jane yelled and Garrus flinched.

"Jane, hey, come on look at me. Talk to me, Jane," Garrus said.

"No. No, no, you don't understand. I have to get this out," Jane said.

Jane reached behind her to prod at the wound again causing pain to shoot through her neck and head. She whimpered as she shoved a finger back into the wound, tearing open what her Cerberus upgrades and residual Medi-gel had already started working to repair. Garrus lunged forward and tried to knock the gun out of Jane's hand. She was too fast though and she pulled the trigger. Garrus growled in pain.

 _"_ _No!"_ Dawn yelled.

"Shepard," Thane's voice came from behind Jane.

She spun around with the gun up, a palm slammed into her wrist while the other swiped the gun from her hand with lightning speed. She threw a punch with her other hand but he wasn't there for her fist to connect. She wasn't able to track the movements as he wrapped her up and spun her around. One hand held Jane's left wrist near her right shoulder. His other hand laced through her arm and rested against her neck. He flexed and Jane could feel darkness creeping in around the edges of her vision. She tried to slam her heel down on his instep but his foot wasn't there. Thane danced her around the bathroom avoiding her attempts to strike for the precious few seconds she had to fight back.

"I am sorry, Siha," Thane whispered next to her ear as Jane went down.

"Commander? Commander, can you hear me?" Dr. Chakwas said, her voice cutting through the fog.

"Hmmm?" Shepard groaned.

"She's coming around," Dr. Chakwas said.

She'd shot Garrus.

Shepard tried to bolt upright in the bed but found she couldn't. She was restrained to the bed with straps at her wrists, ankles, waist, and across her chest. Her eyes bulged as she searched the room, taking in her surroundings. She was on the Normandy, in the med bay. Dr. Chakwas was standing to her right and Mordin to her left.

"Garrus? Where's Garrus?" Shepard said with a panic filled voice.

"Calm down, Commander. Garrus is fine, I promise. We need to make sure that you're fine, too. Do you remember what happened?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"Where is he? I need to see him!" Shepard insisted.

"Shepard, he's fine. Garrus is fine. Focus on yourself right now. Can you tell me your name?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

Shepard pulled at the restraints and looked at Dr. Chakwas like she was insane.

"For gods' sake, where is Garrus? I shot him! I shot Garrus! Where is he?" Shepard yelled.

"Commander," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Recommend sedation," Mordin said.

"Garrus!" Shepard yelled as loud as she could. "Garrus!"

"EDI, please send Garrus in," Dr. Chakwas said. "She doesn't need sedation; she just needs to see that Garrus is alive."

"At once, doctor," EDI said.

Shepard started to calm down and stopped pulling at her restraints.

"Commander?" Dr. Chakwas said.

"What?" Shepard snapped.

"Please identify yourself for me," Dr. Chakwas said.

"For fucksake, doc, you think Jane can't give you my name just as easily as I could? What would that prove?" Shepard asked.

Dr. Chakwas looked at Mordin and the two of them walked to the far side of the med bay to stand by the door and whisper quietly to one another. A couple of minutes later the door slid open and Garrus walked inside.

"Garrus," Shepard said, her voice filled with reverence.

He stopped to talk quietly with Dr. Chakwas before glancing back over at Shepard. His mandibles fluttered as he crossed the room. Tears began to well up in Shepard's eyes. She tried to reach out to him, forgetting about the restraints. When her arm met the resistance she growled and pulled at them again.

Garrus reached her bedside but Shepard couldn't see him clearly through the tears in her eyes. She tried to blink them away but it didn't help as new ones sprung up immediately. She couldn't even reach her hand up to wipe them away but he could. Garrus' thumb brushed across first one eye and then the other; bringing a shuddering sob from Shepard.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

He wiped her eyes again and when she opened them she saw the angry tear in the softer flesh of his neck, just under the back of his mandible where it connected to his face.

"Oh gods, I shot you. Garrus, I'm so sorry," Shepard said.

"Dawn?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah, it's me. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," Shepard said.

"If you're you, then you have nothing to apologize for," Garrus said. "Besides, Jane's a crap shot and it barely grazed me. Your bathroom door might not shut right anymore, though."

Shepard smiled and pushed against the restraints until he put his hand in hers.

"Listen, Shepard, Dr. Chakwas thinks that it's best if you stay in here under observation for a while and Mordin agrees. Problem is, we're sitting not too far out from that collector ship and if we don't go in soon, they're going to know we're on to them," Garrus said.

"OK, I'm good. Tell the good doctors to let me out of this damn bed and we'll go kick some collector ass," Shepard said with a sniffle.

"Shepard, no," Garrus said as he reached out and pushed the hair out of her face. "I think you need to stay here. Let me take in a team, I'll get us whatever intel that's in there. Let me handle this one for you."

"No, I'm good, really. I can do this," Shepard insisted.

"Commander, he's right," Dr. Chakwas said as she moved back to Shepard's side.

Shepard looked between the doctor and Garrus before turning to Mordin. She found no give in his eyes either. Shepard let out a sigh.

"Alright. Fine. Can you at least take these damn restraints off?" Shepard asked.

"Commander, I –," Dr. Chakwas began.

"Take them off," Garrus said.

"I don't think that's wise. We aren't certain if Dawn is in fact in control, and if she is, we can't be sure that Jane won't seize control again," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Take the damn things off. Post a guard in here if you're worried, but take the restraints off," Garrus said.

Mordin and Dr. Chakwas shared a look before Dr. Chakwas sighed and began removing the restraints. Mordin and Garrus helped and as soon as Shepard was free she sat up. Her head throbbed with the motion and pain tore through her neck. She tentatively reached back to feel the now mostly closed wound and cringed at the memory of Jane stabbing the small scissors into herself. The others watched her carefully until she pulled her hand away.

"Did she get it out?" Shepard asked.

"No, the device Mordin put in is still in and functioning as it should," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Lucky. Scissors could have damaged it; would have to make new one. Takes time; lots of resources. Engaging work though; might make extras anyway," Mordin said.

Shepard lifted a corner of her mouth and said, "Let's make sure they work, first. Garrus, make sure you take a biotic with you. If worse comes to worse, they can make a barrier to deflect some of the seekers. Oh, and you'll need heavy weapons. Take something from my locker."

"Got it," Garrus said.

"OK but listen, when you get in there get as much info as you can. Things will be quiet until you reach the platform. EDI, you need to hear this, too," Shepard said and waited for EDI's hologram to pop up indicating she was actively listening.

"Garrus you're going to need to establish a bridge between the Normandy and that platform," Shepard said. "EDI, you're going to need to be prepared to fight off a system infiltration and download everything you can from that platform. Work with Legion if you need to and feel free to mess their systems up in the process, just so long as you get my crew out safe. Garrus, they're going to be throwing a lot of heat at you while she does this and then fighting you tooth and nail on the way out."

"I got it, Shepard. Just get some rest and listen to the doctor. Please," Garrus said.

"I will. I promise. Be safe out there," Shepard said.

Garrus pressed his forehead to hers before giving her a quick kiss. She tried to tell herself it was just her imagination that his eyes looked a little colder again, a little more like they did when she found him on Omega. Garrus left the med bay and two minutes later Thane entered.

"Garrus has asked that I stay here to handle… any situation that might arise. I told him that I will only if you consent to my presence," Thane said.

"Why not? You were able to take me down the first time. At least I don't have a gun now," Shepard said.

"I'm sorry, Shepard. I tried to be as gentle as I could," Thane said.

Shepard stared at Thane for a long moment before blinking her eyes slowly.

"Thane, if there is ever a time where you see that I have a gun pulled on one of my crew and am digging around in a hole that I cut in my own neck, you have my full permission to put me on my ass," Shepard said.

"Hmm, I might need you to hold her down for her next physical, too," Dr. Chakwas said. "She always was a pain in the rear when it comes to caring for herself."

Thane chuckled and dipped his head at the doctor before pulling a chair over next to Shepard's bed. Mordin ran another scan on the device before closing his omni-tool and smiling warmly at Shepard.

"Will find way to stop this. For now, suggest trying anti-psychotic medication," Mordin said holding up a hand. "Not saying Jane is psychosis, but worth a try. Must go now, need to monitor team for field test."

Mordin left, leaving Shepard alone with Dr. Chakwas and Thane for the time being. Shepard let out a sigh, blowing her bangs all over the place.

"So what's the plan, doc? How long's my sentence?" Shepard asked.

"A few hours, at least. Longer if you give me any gruff about it," Dr. Chakwas said with a twinkle in her eyes. "How are you feeling, Commander?"

"Like I stabbed myself in the head and then dug around in it for a while before shooting my boyfriend and being knocked out by an assassin. You know the usual," Shepard said with a shrug.

Dr. Chakwas snorted softly and shook her head.

"At least you're keeping your spirits up. I expect that will last at most twenty minutes. Then you'll be throwing a fit about being bored," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Hey now, I don't throw fits. That's not very nice, doc," Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas snorted much louder and slapped Shepard playfully on the arm.

"So, the smelling salts didn't work this time?" Dr. Chakwas asked getting serious again.

"Uhhh… I didn't get the chance to try. I might have, uh, forgotten to keep them on me. It was too late by the time I was able to make it to my desk, she took me to my knees," Shepard said sheepishly.

"Commander, they can't work if you don't use them and you can't use them if you don't have them with you!" Dr. Chakwas scolded.

"I know! I'm sorry, trust me after this I'll carry twenty of the damn things on me," Shepard said.

Just then the med bay door slid open and the sharp clacking of Miranda's heels bounced off the walls. Shepard turned to the sound and cringed. She looked pissed.

"Miranda, I already told you –," Dr. Chakwas started to say.

"I know what you said but I am just as much responsible for Shepard's wellbeing as you are, and she is awake now and clearly she doesn't need you to give consent for visitors," Miranda said eyeing Thane sitting next to the bed.

"It's alright, doc. She can stay, it's time I told her the truth anyway," Shepard said.

"Commander, are you sure that's wise?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"Tell me the truth about what?" Miranda asked crossing her arms over her chest.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose and said, "Have a seat, Miranda."

Miranda looked expectantly at Thane. Thane looked to Shepard.

"He stays, he's on official guard duty," Shepard said.

"Who is he guarding you from?" Miranda asked.

"From myself. Just, grab a chair. It's complicated and will take a while," Shepard said.

Miranda pulled up a chair and sat, crossing her long legs and leaning an elbow over the back of the chair. Shepard chewed on her lip as she considered her words. She knew that inevitably, Miranda would learn the truth; she had just hoped to be able to tell her when she was ready and not while sitting in a hospital bed.

"The things you heard… when you were working your magic to bring me back. The Prophecies of Shepard as you called them… I wasn't completely honest with you about what they meant," Shepard said.

"I'm listening," Miranda said.

"Gods why is this always so awkward and complicated to explain?" Shepard asked rhetorically.

"Because you're making it awkward and complicated, Commander," Dr. Chakwas said. "What Commander Shepard is trying to tell you is that the 'prophecies' that you witnessed were not necessarily the result of the prothean beacons. We have yet to fully understand precisely what is causing her experience, but from Shepard's perspective, at the very least, she is living through the galaxies most interesting case of past life regression. It would seem, and there has been incredibly eerie evidence to support her claims, that Shepard has lived the same few years over and over again."

"Excuse me?" Miranda said as she cocked an eyebrow in confusion.

"Shepard began experiencing unusual foreknowledge of people, conversations, events, and places on the old Normandy. She became plagued by these detailed memories of things that she couldn't possibly know about and then, while joining minds with Dr. Liara T'Soni in an attempt to better understand the information given to her by the beacon, a discovery was made," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard closed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. It was a sigh partly of relief that Dr. Chakwas was taking over the conversation, and partly heartache at the mention of Liara. Miranda was now turned in her chair, squarely facing Dr. Chakwas. Shepard got the distinct feeling that she had been demoted from Commander Shepard to Patient Shepard in the eyes of the two women for the time being. She glanced at Thane to see that he was watching her but listening to the two women as well.

"What was the nature of this discovery?" Miranda asked.

"Dr. T'Soni found what she described as a veil that she had to pass through to reach Shepard's consciousness. She said she had never experienced anything like it, and thought that it might be the key to Shepard's troubles. With Shepard's consent, Dr. T'Soni joined minds with Shepard again and instead of going straight into Shepard's mind attempted to explore this veil," Dr. Chakwas said.

The doctor glanced at Shepard for confirmation and Shepard nodded. Miranda glanced her way as well, her brow knit together in confusion.

"I was not present so I cannot verify exactly what happened, but based on the accounts of both parties, Shepard began to exhibit distress and attempted to retreat from the joining claiming that she heard a voice screaming in her mind and that it hurt," Dr. Chakwas continued. "Dr. T'Soni heard what she described as countless voices whispering just outside her range of hearing. She ended the joining when Shepard became even more distressed, but Shepard lost consciousness and was bleeding from the nose."

"Dear God," Miranda said.

"Dr. T'Soni acted swiftly, using the comm to call Joker for help. I got to her quickly enough to treat the severe inflammation and relieve the pressure in her skull before permanent damage could set in. Poor Dr. T'Soni was inconsolable until Shepard woke up again," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Can we – can we maybe not talk about Liara so much," Shepard spoke up.

Dr. Chakwas frowned and moved to stand next to Shepard. She patted Shepard on the shoulder and brushed her hair out of her face. Dr. Chakwas nodded her head.

"I'm sorry dear, I know you still miss her," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard did her best to smile and squeezed the doctor's hand before she stepped away.

"When Shepard woke up, she eventually complained about a buzzing in her head. I had made a call to a colleague of mine, another asari named Dr. Tulina who specialized in human psychology and had her placed on the Normandy," Dr. Chakwas said. "After reviewing Shepard's records and Dr. T'Soni's memories, she was in an agreement that whatever Shepard was experiencing it was not a mental illness. Shepard and Dr. Tulina spent some time together and with Dr. Tulina's aid, Shepard was able to break through the noise and converse with the voice she was hearing."

"And you were able to rule out the beacons as the explanation?" Miranda asked.

"Dr. Tulina seemed to believe that it wasn't the beacons. She told me that whatever the veil was, it was a part of me but she didn't think it came from me exactly," Shepard offered. "To be fair, she didn't have a better explanation and Mordin still seems to think it could have been caused by the beacons. His working theory is that they fried my brain and made me psychic."

"That doesn't sound like something Dr. Solus would say, Commander," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard shrugged and said, "I'm paraphrasing."

"Unfortunately, I did not learn the extent of the situation until after the Normandy crashed and I received Shepard's goodbye video. I'm not sure she told anyone the extent of things," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Garrus. He knew everything. I just couldn't tell everyone everything. I wasn't ready," Shepard said.

"Of course. Garrus. She told her boyfriend but not her doctors," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"What the voice – Jane – has explained to Shepard is that Jane, and the thousand or so others that are locked away in Shepard's mind, _are_ Commander Shepard. Jane appears to be the… spokesperson for the group," Dr. Chakwas said.

Miranda turned to look at Shepard with raised eyebrows. Shepard shrugged in response.

"Jane has been able to provide Shepard with every detail of the lives they lived from the moment they were called to serve on the Normandy, to the moment they died saving the galaxy from the reapers," Dr. Chakwas said. "It appears that each time, the consciousness is… returned to the collective, in the next Shepard's mind. Until our Commander, they were never heard. Now that they are able to be heard, they have convinced Shepard that she needs to change things to break this cycle."

"Or she'll join them," Miranda all but whispered.

"Exactly," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Why does no one ever believe me so easily?" Shepard asked.

"Because you're not a respected doctor," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard huffed.

"If it weren't for what I've already seen… I wouldn't believe it, no offense, doctor. So the prophecies… the agonized screaming… that was Jane?" Miranda asked.

"Yep," Shepard said. "Something happened while I was dying when the Normandy was attacked. Before that, I had to really try to hear her. But in those last few seconds before I lost consciousness, floating out into space and unable to breathe… the walls came crumbling down and there she was. I could hear her perfectly and she could feel everything that I was feeling. I lost consciousness – died – but she never did. Between that and suffering while you worked to put me back together again…"

"Jane has been unstable; psychologically damaged by the events," Dr. Chakwas said.

"That's putting it lightly," Shepard said with a scoff. "She did just hijack my body and attempt to dig out Mordin's device using a pair of cuticle scissors and my fingers. She fucking shot Garrus for gods' sake. The bitch is crazy."

Miranda stood and crossed the floor to pull Shepard forward. Shepard allowed the manhandling; Miranda was never good with the whole bedside manner thing. Miranda lifted Shepard's hair out of the way and Shepard heard her hiss. Miranda opened her omni-tool and scanned the back of Shepard's head looking for damage to the Cerberus implants. Satisfied that Jane hadn't managed to damage anything other than Shepard herself, she closed the omni-tool and paced the floor.

"Dr. Chakwas, do you still have Shepard's records from that time?" Miranda asked.

"I don't have them here, of course. They would have been saved on Alliance servers. I can try putting in a request for them with Anderson. I'm afraid he might be the only one left associated with the Alliance willing to do me any favors," Dr. Chakwas said. "I'll need Commander Shepard's permission, of course."

"That's fine. I can send Anderson a message, too, if you think it will help," Shepard said.

"It might, he always has been rather fond of you," Dr. Chakwas said.

"I – excuse me, I need to go back over my records. Please, send me what you do have on Shepard and let me know as soon as you get her old records. I might be able to help," Miranda said as she turned and walked out of the med bay.

Dr. Chakwas returned to her desk and sat down at her laptop. Shepard leaned back against the bed, tilting her head to the side to avoid the tender mutilated mass that was her neck. She glanced at Thane and found that he was watching her with curiosity.

"You have more questions?" Shepard asked.

Thane smiled and said, "No, Siha. I am just surprised by your resilience."

"Don't be. Commander Shepard is the single most resilient person I have ever met. She'll get through this, and put us all to shame in the process dare I say," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, doc. I hope to hell you're right," Shepard said.

"Of course I'm right," Dr. Chakwas said turning back to her computer.

Shepard turned her attention back to Thane and asked, "How are you _not_ freaked out by what happened?"

Thane seemed to consider this for a moment before he responded, "She was acting out of fear and self-preservation. I have seen others do far worse for far less."

"She would have shot you too, you know," Shepard said.

"Indeed," Thane said.

They watched each other in silence, the only sound the clacking of Dr. Chakwas keys over the keyboard.

"Thank you," Shepard said.

"I should have acted quicker. Perhaps Garrus would not have been injured. I did not anticipate that he would move when he did," Thane said.

Shepard spent the next few minutes talking with Thane about how they came to be in her cabin in the first place. Apparently, EDI had learned rather quickly once unshackled that there were appropriate times to lie. When Jane thought she had EDI convinced that everything was alright, EDI had secretly been informing Garrus that something was wrong. Thane was in the elevator with Garrus when they had the conversation and insisted on helping. Shepard made a mental note to thank EDI in private.

 _"_ _I'm sorry, I tried to keep her away,"_ a voice whispered.

It was one of the masculine voices. She didn't have a name to put to it; they'd never talked to her like this before. Not when she wasn't trapped inside with them. Even the images she got about Jack a few days before were fuzzy and vague. This was different, he spoke to her and although it was distant, it was clear.

"What?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Get it out! Get it out now!"_ Jane yelled.

"Fuck!" Shepard yelped.

Pain ripped through her head and she pressed the heel of her hand against her eye socket. Shepard heard something big clatter to the floor. Dr. Chakwas rushed to her side and suddenly there was a terrible smell assaulting her nostrils. She reared back away from the scent, coughing and gagging. Thane stood next to the bed holding a vial of smelling salts next to her face.

 _"_ _Get it out, get it the fuck out!"_ Jane yelled.

"Oh good, you kept one. At least someone remembered what they were for," Dr. Chakwas said.

"I'm good, I'm good," Shepard said.

She pushed at Thane's hand, trying to get him to put the offending vial away. He resisted until Dr. Chakwas told him it was alright. Dr. Chakwas opened her scanner while Thane took a step back. He remained standing, ready to pounce if Shepard started lashing out at the doctor.

"A comparison of Shepard's current brainwave activity to that of the activity that occurred in her cabin, I believe that Shepard is still in control," EDI said.

 _"_ _You said you would have him take it out. You lied, I knew you were lying,"_ Jane said.

"You shot Garrus!" Shepard thought.

"What do you mean?" Dr. Chakwas asked. "Was there a change in her brainwaves before?"

"Yes, Shepard experienced extreme vacillating brainwave activity moments before they stabilized back to a beta frequency, at which point Shepard resumed apparent normal activity with Jane in control," EDI said. "I have also compared this to scans of Shepard the day she requested aid in the med bay and observed a similar phenomenon. I would need several more observations of this anomaly to be certain that there is in fact a correlation between the two events, but I suspect that they are connected."

 _"_ _I… I didn't mean to… he lunged, and I… it needs to come out. I can still feel it, please, just take it out,"_ Jane said.

"I can't even feel it anymore! You're too worked up to see this straight. You could have killed us. You could have killed Garrus! Jane, you're not OK, not anymore," Shepard thought.

"EDI, you're a genius! Thank you," Dr. Chakwas said before turning to Thane. "Will you be alright with her? I need to go speak with Miranda."

Dr. Chakwas didn't wait for an answer before crossing the room to dig out a syringe and a bottle from a cabinet. She filled the syringe and put the cap back on before handing it to Thane on the way out.

"Tranquilizer. Thigh is best. Upper arm will work as well. EDI, keep monitoring her," Dr. Chakwas said before the door slid closed behind her.

Shepard watched dumbfounded as the doctor rushed out before turning her attention to the syringe in Thane's hand. Thane slid the syringe into his jacket before stepping away from Shepard's bed to throw the used smelling salts in the trash. He stopped to set Dr. Chakwas' desk chair upright again. Shepard's eyes followed him but she wasn't really seeing him. She felt dazed and confused by that one simple, barely heard statement. One of the others was learning how to get through to her… and he seemed to be trying to help her somehow.

Jane raged ineffectively in the back of Shepard's mind. Shepard couldn't be sure but she didn't think Jane had the strength to take over again so soon. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around her legs. She tucked her face down between her chest and her knees and began gently rocking herself, taking in deep soothing breaths as she tried to block out Jane's insane rambling.

After a moment she felt Thane's hand rest lightly on her back. She lifted her head to look at him and he opened his mouth as if to speak but said nothing. A moment later he closed it again and lowered his eyes to the space between them. He moved a little closer to the bed, his thighs brushing up against the sheet. Shepard hoped she wasn't wrong when she took that as an invitation and leaned into him. He slid his hand across her back to cup her shoulder, pulling her gently to guide her closer. Shepard let herself lean against the assassin's chest as he tucked her in against him, grateful for the show of compassion and support. His body remained rigid for a few seconds longer and Shepard wondered if he was reminding himself how to relax with physical contact.

"What did you tell the others?" Shepard asked softly.

"We startled you while you were getting ready for the mission, you slipped and accidently discharged your sidearm. You were injured in the fall," Thane said.

"Fantastic. Better they think I'm a jumpy klutz than the truth, I guess," Shepard said. "You know if you want out, I won't blame you. I can take you back to Illium… the Citadel, wherever you want to go."

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't wish to be, Siha," Thane said tightening his arm around her.

Shepard took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Thank you," Shepard said. "You smell amazing, you know that? Now let go of me before I get spoiled for this."

Shepard felt the rumble of Thane's chuckle through his chest. She slowly made herself pull away from him as his arm slipped away from her. Thane retreated to the chair next to her bed and sat down to resume his unnerving scrutiny of her every movement; watching for any sign that she was not as she should be. The silence stretched on, the only sound Jane's desperate pleas in Shepard's mind until Shepard couldn't take it any longer.

"EDI?" Shepard called out.

"Yes, Shepard?" EDI said, her hologram springing to life.

"Do you have anything on those in the field? Are the devices working?" Shepard asked.

"It appears that they are, Shepard. Mr. Vakarian, and Mr. Grundan Krul have both sustained mild injuries and have activated their Medi-gel dispensers twice each. Mr. Grunt has sustained several mild injuries but has yet to activate his Medi-gel dispenser. Justicar Samara has sustained no injuries. The secondary team led by Mr. Taylor, consisting of Mr. Massani and Dr. Solus, have not engaged in combat so far," EDI said.

"Great, thanks EDI. Tell Grunt I said to use his damn Medi-gel," Shepard said.

"At once, Shepard," EDI said.

Dr. Chakwas returned and settled into her desk chair without any explanation as to what she and Miranda talked about. Shepard sat quietly for a while, but the restlessness was setting in. She opened her omni-tool and sorted through a few messages. She rattled off a quick request to Anderson that he send her medical records to Dr. Chakwas and then closed her omni-tool again. Shepard sighed and looked at Thane.

"How long ago did I wake up?" Shepard asked quietly.

Thane glanced at the clock and said, "You've been awake for about forty minutes."

"Thanks," Shepard said. "Hey doc?"

"Yes, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas said without turning around.

"Do I really need to stay in here? I'm fine now, and I'm sure EDI will notify you if something changes," Shepard said.

"Commander," Dr. Chakwas said with a warning tone.

"Come on, doc. You're killing me here," Shepard said. "It's not like I'm going to leave the ship."

"You're whining, Commander," Dr. Chakwas said.

"But I waited forty minutes," Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas sighed and pushed away from the desk. She glanced at the clock on her way over to Shepard's bed. Dr. Chakwas opened her omni-tool and scanned Shepard again. Shepard watched her as she reviewed the results and then wordlessly walked to a cabinet. Dr. Chakwas returned with a small white box marked ammonium carbonate and shoved it at Shepard's chest. Shepard opened the box to see it contained the vials of smelling salts. Thane reached into the box and palmed two of them, slipping them away with the syringe.

"Take these with you and actually use them," Dr. Chakwas said. "And I expect you to report back in with me nightly, starting tonight, until I give you further notice. If you notice anything – any sign that Jane might be about to do this again I want you to use one of those and come see me right away."

"I will, I promise," Shepard said. "Assuming I'm in a position to come to you right away."

"Before you leave, I want to ask you a few questions about these experiences," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard groaned but spent the next twenty minutes giving Dr. Chakwas every detail she could remember. The doctor wanted to know more specifically what physical symptoms Shepard experienced just before losing control. She took notes on her omni-tool as Shepard described the pains that lanced through her head, the vertigo, feelings of disconnection, and feeling faint. When Shepard mentioned the intensity of the emotions she felt before the pain began, Dr. Chakwas prodded further asking Shepard about the nature and origins of the emotions.

"Mordin did suggest anti-psychotic medications, perhaps he's on to something there. I'm not sure if it would work well with your implants. They may cause you to metabolize the medication too swiftly, and most of these medications depend on reaching a particular level of saturation before the full effects can be seen," Dr. Chakwas said.

"I really don't think that's necessary, doc. The side effects with those things could wind up getting me killed in the field quicker than struggling with Jane. I know she's erratic, and this thing today definitely shows having her out isn't a good idea but at least we know she doesn't want me dead," Shepard said.

"If I may," Thane said.

Dr. Chakwas and Shepard both turned their attention to Thane. He'd been so quiet Shepard had almost forgotten he was there. He took a few steps closer to join them in the conversation.

"Intense emotional responses to people and events appear to play a part in Jane's ability to push herself on Shepard. Particularly fear and anger. I believe that regular, disciplined meditation exercises might help Shepard to curb some of those responses. I am willing to work with her so that she can master these exercises," Thane said gesturing at Shepard. "Or perhaps if she would be more comfortable, I believe the Justicar would be able to guide her as well."

"Samara doesn't know, and I'm not sure I'm ready to share this with anyone else right now," Shepard said. "I don't know. Meditation really isn't my thing. I really suck at it. I'll uh, I'll think about it though."

"I think that's a wonderful idea, Commander. Dr. Tulina would have approved, and I'm certain she would have recommended meditation over medication," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard narrowed her eyes and asked, "Are you trying to manipulate me by bringing up Dr. Tulina?"

"That depends, is it working?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"Oh that's a new low for you, doc," Shepard said.

"You leave me with little choice, Commander. I have to use what works with you. You have a big heart, you always have," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Damn it. Yeah, OK. It's working," Shepard said.

An hour later, Shepard found herself flat on her back for the fifth time in thirty minutes. She was drenched in sweat and her muscles felt weak. Her hands trembled as she pushed sweat-plastered strands of hair off of her face. Her chest heaved as she sucked in air, trying to get more oxygen circulating through her body. She looked up at Thane standing above her and found herself annoyed that even with Kepral's Syndrome, his breathing remained steady while she was a mess. Jane, however, had fallen blissfully silent. She pushed herself up off of the mat on the hangar floor and resumed an offensive stance.

"Just tell me," Shepard said between breaths, "What kicking my ass has to do with teaching me better meditation skills."

"I have barely touched you, Shepard. I believe you are kicking your own ass," Thane said with a smirk.

"Shepard, the collector ship is coming back online. I am guiding Mr. Vakarian's team to the exit. They are experiencing heavy resistance," EDI's voice said over the hangar's intercom.

Shepard turned her attention to the intercom and Thane stepped in, grabbing her arm and turning his back into her as he rolled her over his body. Shepard's back hit the mat again and she groaned.

"You mustn't allow yourself to become distracted," Thane said.

"Help me up, I'm done. We can't be in here when the shuttles come back anyway," Shepard said holding her hand out to Thane.

Thane stepped forward, his hand reaching for hers when Shepard spun her hips and tried to sweep his legs out from under him. Just like every other time, he was already gone when her legs got there. He took a simple step to the side and closed his hand around her wrist stepping around her and forcing her onto her stomach. From there he maneuvered her to her knees, Shepard wasn't sure how. He knelt behind her bracing her spine with one knee as his arm wrapped around her neck and his hands cradled her head.

"I hate you," Shepard said.

Thane's laughter echoed off the hangar walls. Shepard carefully tilted her head back to look at him. His hands followed the movement ready to react even as he laughed. He looked down at her and she smiled.

"Are you finished?" Thane asked.

"Yeah. I'm done. For now. Just know that one of these days it's going to be your ass on the mat," Shepard said.

"I have no doubt, Siha," Thane said as he released her and stepped away.

Shepard pulled herself to her feet and accepted the towel he held out to her. She ran it over her face and neck before gently rubbing her hair. The mess she had made of the back of neck earlier in the morning was closed but still very tender. Dr. Chakwas had done an excellent job of smoothing out the knotted mass of skin so it would heal properly. She thought she could still feel the little silver bug Mordin put inside beneath her fingertips. She'd seen the blueprints and knew that once in place the device shot out microfilament threads to wrap around the spine and thread themselves through the spinal cord. If she were honest with herself, she was more than a little disturbed by it and didn't really want it there either. She just wasn't disturbed enough to try to cut it out herself. She wondered if it could actually be removed once this thing with the collectors was over with.

Shepard ran the towel over her face again before wrapping it around her neck. She looked up to see Thane watching her and she raised an eyebrow in question. He smiled and turned away, making his way to the elevator. Shepard grabbed the ends of the towel and followed after him. He pushed the call button on the elevator and stepped inside when it opened. Shepard pushed the button for her cabin and he pushed the button for the third deck.

"We will begin again in first thing in the morning," Thane said.

Shepard sighed and Thane cocked an eyebrow.

"Can I at least snag some coffee first?" she asked.

The elevator came to a stop and the door slid open.

"Indeed, I think you will need it," Thane said with a smirk as he stepped out.

"One of these days, Krios!" Shepard hollered after him.

Shepard could hear his laughter trailing back to her as the elevator slid closed again.

"Shepard, the teams have made it safely to the shuttles," EDI said.

Shepard stepped out of the elevator and crossed over to her cabin.

"Tell Joker that as soon as they're onboard we need to hightail it out of here. See if you can get us to the Nubian Expanse or Rosetta Nebula from here," Shepard said stripping off her sweaty clothes and turning on the shower.

"Setting coordinates for the Nubian Expanse now, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard stepped into the shower and got soaped up and rinsed off as quickly as she could. She was dressed and back on the elevator five minutes later, taking it down to the CIC. Shepard jogged across the CIC floor and into the cockpit to watch as the shuttles returned to the Normandy.

"Come on, come on, come on," Shepard chanted under her breath.

"There in, closing the hangar door now," Joker said.

Shepard leaned over Joker and pressed the comm button as she announced, "Hold on tight people, we're getting the hell out of here."

"Shit they're charging weapons," Joker said as he began evasive maneuvers.

"Engaging mass effect core, hang on Jeff," EDI said.

"Shit," Joker said.

Shepard grabbed on to the back of his seat as the ship shot forward. Her stomach sank to the floor when they just as suddenly dropped out of FTL to the sight of a giant relay looming so close Shepard was surprised they hadn't crashed into it.

"Preparing to enter the relay," EDI said. "Selected destination: the Nubian Expanse."

The blue-white tendril of energy reached out and grabbed the Normandy, flinging it through space at dizzying speeds as Shepard white-knuckled the back of Joker's chair. Joker whooped with excitement before he threw in an 'ow' for good measure. The Normandy slowed to a cruise once the receiving relay released them.

"Nice. That was beautiful, EDI," Joker said.

"Thank you, Jeff," EDI said.

"Yeah, thank you, Jeff," Shepard said.

Joker shot Shepard a warning look and she winked at him.

"Good work, the both of you. EDI, tell the teams to meet me in the comm room for the debrief," Shepard said.

"They're on their way, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard left the cockpit and went through the tech labs to reach the comm room, casting a smug glance at their collector guest as she went. A few minutes later, the rest of the crew piled in covered in blood and bits of collector. Garrus gave her a look of frustration right away and she knew that they were going to have to talk after the debriefing.

 _"_ _He hates me now,"_ Jane said.

Shepard was amazed at the twinge of sympathy she felt at hearing the sorrow in Jane's voice. She listened as the two teams made their report, verifying for her exactly what she already knew. Shepard dismissed everyone but asked Garrus to stay while she had EDI establish the connection to the Illusive Man. The table dropped down and the comm ring lit up.

"You want me to go in there with you?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah, that OK? I figured you're the one who led the mission… and maybe he'll play nice with you there," Shepard said.

"This ought to be interesting," Garrus said.

He followed Shepard into the center of the comm ring and looked around as the holographic grid rose up around them. The Illusive Man sat in his power chair a few feet away from the comm. Garrus scoffed at the air of mystique the Illusive Man tried so hard for and Shepard grinned. The Illusive Man took a long drag from his cigarette and let the smoke out slowly.

"Garrus Vakarian. I wasn't expecting you," the Illusive Man said.

"Can't say I was expecting you to be hiding in the shadows either, but here we are," Garrus said.

Shepard got the impression that Garrus' response brought a smile to Jane's face.

"Anonymity is necessary for a man in my position. I would think Archangel would understand that," the Illusive Man said.

"I never hid in the shadows unless it was to line up a shot," Garrus said.

 _"_ _It's a shame he can't line up a shot on the Illusive Man right now,"_ Jane said.

"Isn't that the damn truth," Shepard thought.

"Yes, you developed quite the reputation on Omega. I must say I was impressed," the Illusive Man said before taking another drag of his cigarette. "Why _are_ you here, Mr. Vakarian?"

"I led the mission onto the collector vessel. I thought you might want a report," Garrus said with a shrug.

"Shepard, I'm surprised at you. Relinquishing command, even to your lover – and on such an important mission," the Illusive Man said.

"Shepard wasn't feeling well," Garrus said.

"Cramps," Shepard said with a shrug.

A short bark of laughter filled Shepard's mind. She couldn't help but to think that it sounded more than a little like the laughter of someone walking the brink of sanity.

The Illusive Man took another drag from his cigarette and swirled the ice around in his glass.

"And did these cramps cause you to shoot Mr. Vakarian or was that Jane?" the Illusive Man said.

A low growl started to rise up from Garrus and Jane stilled in Shepard's mind.

"They were bad cramps," Shepard said.

"I've been informed that you also spent over an hour in the med bay with a bleeding head wound," the Illusive Man said.

"I mean, really, really bad cramps," Shepard said.

Garrus chuffed and shifted his weight, leaning closer to Shepard.

"Is this a joke to you, Shepard?" the Illusive Man asked.

"Not at all, it just isn't any of your damned business, now do you want Garrus' report or not?" Shepard asked.

"I had hoped that we would be able to put aside our differences and work together better than this, Shepard," the Illusive Man said.

 _"_ _Why is he trying to play nice now?"_ Jane asked.

"I don't know. It's nothing more than a change in tactics. One form of manipulation didn't work so he's trying another. Let him try, it isn't going to change anything about the way this ends," Shepard thought.

"I think we're doing pretty well, all things considered," Shepard said.

The Illusive Man took a drink from his glass and flicked the ashes off of his cigarette, twirling the glowing ember around in the ash tray for a moment.

"Give me your report, Mr. Vakarian," he said.

Shepard stood at parade rest as Garrus relayed the information that had been taken from the collector's ship, including the confirmation that the ship was the same that took down the original Normandy and further evidence supporting Mordin's claim that the collectors were modified protheans. The Illusive Man listened quietly as Garrus spoke. When Garrus was finished he turned his attention back to Shepard, dismissing Garrus' presence from his notice completely.

"You know what you need to do next, Shepard. I suggest you don't rush into this until you're ready – until your crew is ready. Just because you know what to expect doesn't mean that you're prepared to deal with it. In the meantime, I don't think it's too much to expect you to complete a few of the smaller requests I've sent you. The Normandy doesn't fund itself, you know," the Illusive Man said.

 _"_ _Some of it is important… like saving David Archer,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah. I'll see what I can do," Shepard said.

She turned, Garrus on her heels to walk out of the comm ring but stopped to look back at the Illusive Man over her shoulder.

"I'll ask EDI to send you a full report on the collector ship," she said.

"Thank you, Shepard," the Illusive Man said.

Shepard stepped out of the comm and away from the glowing ring. Garrus laid a hand on her shoulder to stop her from leaving the comm room as the table rose back into place.

"Why aren't you in the med bay, Shepard?" Garrus asked.

"The warden let me out early for good behavior," Shepard said turning to face him.

"Dawn, you said you would listen to the doctor," Garrus said crossing his arms.

Shepard frowned and said, "I did listen, Garrus. I stayed in there and let them run their scans while Thane watched me like a hawk. I even let Miranda in on the big secret so she could better help. Dr. Chakwas agreed to let me leave the med bay after EDI told her she can predict when Jane's trying to take over."

"That's not exactly what I said, Shepard," EDI said, her hologram popping up behind Garrus.

Shepard shrugged and said, "I'm paraphrasing."

"I don't think you understand the definition of paraphrasing, Shepard," EDI said.

"What is Shepard failing to paraphrase, EDI?" Garrus asked.

Shepard leaned against the wall while EDI conveyed the results of her scans and the observed fluctuations in Shepard's brainwave activity. Shepard scoffed when EDI went the extra mile to inform Garrus of the terms of Dr. Chakwas conditional release. She groaned but didn't stop her when EDI then took the liberty to tell Garrus that Shepard had already begun lessons with Thane and that from EDI's observation, Shepard was a slow learner. Garrus turned back to her with a raised brow ridge, his mandibles flaring in amusement.

"Oh, I've got to see this myself," Garrus said.

"Thanks a lot, EDI," Shepard said.

"You're very welcome, Shepard," said EDI.

"That was sarcasm, EDI," Shepard said.

 _"_ _She knows,"_ Jane said.

"I know," said EDI.


	48. Chapter 25: Sick And Twisted People

**Chapter 25: Sick and Twisted People**

Shepard leaned against the bulkhead with one ankle crossed over the other watching Jack. The biotic was stretched out on her small cot tucked away beneath engineering tossing a small pocketknife up into the air and then catching it again before it could embed itself in her face.

"What's up, Alliance? Looking for more ink already? I'm telling you once you get that first one, it's hard to stop," Jack said flinging the knife up again.

Shepard waited for her to catch it before she said, "Not just yet. We're about forty minutes out from Pragia. You ready for this?"

There was a slight pause, a break in Jack's steady rhythm before she threw the knife again. Two tosses later Jack finally spoke, her voice sounded a little hoarse to Shepard's ears.

"No shit?" Jack asked.

"No shit. Meet at the shuttles in twenty?" Shepard asked.

"We're going to blow the place up, right?" Jack asked.

Shepard moved to the cot and snatched the knife out of the air before it could spiral back down towards Jack. Jack looked up at her, anger flashed brief in her eyes before wariness settled into place. Shepard closed the knife against her hip before pulling a detonator out of her pocket and dangling it above Jack's face. Shepard waited for Jack's eyes to lock on to the detonator and the slow smile to spread across her face before dropping the detonator. Jack caught it with the same practiced ease as she had the knife. Shepard tossed the closed pocketknife on the cot next to Jack's hip and walked away.

"See you in twenty, Jack," Shepard said over her shoulder as she walked up the stairs.

"Fuck yeah!" Jack yelled back.

Shepard geared up and made her way to the hangar. She asked EDI along the way to block any signals leaving the Teltin facility that weren't from her or the team. She didn't want to run the risk of the Illusive Man still being able to listen in. Garrus was already leaning against one of the shuttles checking his thermal clips. Jack wasn't down there yet, but Shepard knew she would be soon enough. Shepard felt bad about asking him to go out again so soon after the collector ship, but he insisted he was up for it. She wondered if he was really up for it, or just so against the idea of her going down without him after the Jane incident that he was pushing himself.

Jack arrived, a grin on her face. She carried the detonator in her hand, flipping the lid open and closed again.

"Please tell me that's not real," Garrus said.

"Oh it is, but the bomb isn't live yet so we're safe," Shepard said.

Garrus pulled the shuttle door open and they all climbed inside. Jack was antsy on the ride down, shaking her legs in her seat and looking out the window every few seconds. She was quiet this time, she didn't share any doubts about going back as she had with Jane. Garrus' attention shifted between Shepard and Jack as he watched them both with wary eyes.

"I'm fine, Garrus," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Tell him I'm sorry,"_ Jane said.

"Now's not the time," Shepard thought.

She reached over and took his hand in hers giving it a little squeeze. He returned the gentle pressure and rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand only letting her go when the shuttle landed. Unsurprisingly, Jack was the first out of the shuttle. Shepard drew her pistol and activated her Incendiary ammo.

"Thought this place was shut down?" Jack asked.

"Just looking out for the local wildlife. Look at this place, it's a damn jungle," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Yeah, those wild Blood Pack are dangerous,"_ Jane said.

"Varren, too. Right?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Varren, too,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah," Jack turned to look out over the mass of tangled greenery that had claimed most of the facility, "that's why they put the landing pad up here."

Garrus looked at Shepard and she mouthed the words 'Blood Pack'. He nodded and got his assault rifle out. Jack took out her pistol and headed for the stairs leading down from the roof. Shepard smiled; pleased with herself over how much more confident Jack seemed coming back to her own personal hell.

 _"_ _She does … You're doing good with her,"_ Jane said.

"Uh, thanks," Shepard thought.

"Any place in specific you want to put this thing, Jack?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah. My old cell. Right in the middle of the facility. Blow the whole fucking place sky high," Jack said.

"Hey how about when we're done here we raid Shepard's liquor cabinet?" Garrus said.

"Knew there was a reason I liked you," Jack said.

"And here I was thinking it was just because I look so damn good in my armor," Garrus said.

Shepard snorted and said, "You look much better out of it. Alright Jack, lead the way."

 _"_ _He hates me now,"_ Jane said.

"Maybe. You shot him. We haven't really had a chance to talk about it," Shepard thought.

Jack led them down the stairs and across a walkway before going down a ramp and into the facility. She paused to look around the area. It was empty aside from crates and large shipping containers. Jack strolled over to look at the shipping containers and put her hand on one.

"Can you believe they brought the new kids here in these? Like fucking cattle," Jack said. "Covered in their own shit and piss, half starved to death. Sometimes by the time they got here, they were already dead."

"Shepard, I do not understand why they would transport living people in shipping containers not designed to support human life," EDI said, her voice coming in through Shepard's comm.

"What they were doing was highly illegal, EDI, a form of human trafficking and so they used a method that was cheap and wouldn't be under as much scrutiny. Less of a risk of being caught," Shepard said.

"If they had a vested interest in these children, as cattle as Ms. Jack has suggested, wouldn't they take measures to protect their interests?" EDI asked.

 _"_ _Because Cerberus is run by sick and twisted people,"_ Jane said.

"They… they saw the other children as disposable. If a few didn't make it, it was no real loss to them. They thought that they could always get more," Shepard said choking on the words.

"Have I upset you, Shepard? Your blood pressure has increased and you are breathing more rapidly," EDI asked.

"No, EDI, you haven't upset me. The people who did this have," Shepard said.

"I am sorry that this has happened, Shepard," EDI said.

"Jack's the one who needs to hear it," Shepard said.

"Hear what?" Jack said, looking over her shoulder.

Jack turned her head to the right and seemed to be listening to something from the ornate earpiece she wore.

"Yeah," Jack spoke softly, "thanks, EDI."

Shepard waited for Jack to take the lead, she wanted her to have as much control as she could while in this place. She thought Jack needed it and it was a small sacrifice to make on her part. She knew there was trouble ahead, and when it came, she'd be back in front of Jack leading her in the fight, but for now Jack was in charge. When she was ready, Jack crossed the room and opened the next door.

Shepard stood to the side and watched as Jack listened to the recording that played on loop, the hologram damaged and barely visible. The man in the recording spoke about hiding things from the Illusive Man but Shepard didn't believe they'd hidden anything nearly as well as they thought they had. She didn't believe for a second that the Illusive Man didn't always know exactly what was going on at the Teltin facility, and he let it happen secure in his ability to claim that he wasn't informed. Jack didn't seem to believe it one bit either. Shepard stopped the recording after it played through a couple of times and looked at Jack.

"You want me to have EDI pull anything from this place?" Shepard asked.

Jack hesitated before shaking her head.

"I know what went on here, I don't need it. I'm going to blow this place up and none of it will matter anymore," Jack said.

 _"_ _If only that were true,"_ Jane said.

"Alright. Let's keep moving then," Shepard said.

Shepard and Garrus followed Jack further into the facility. Jack spoke about her escape as they moved through the area, but it didn't seem to trouble her as much as Jane remembered. She didn't bat an eye when the varren charged, sweeping them away with a Shockwave before opening fire. Jack stopped to listen to a recording at a terminal of a security guard requesting permission to terminate the other subjects. They had gotten lose and the security guard was afraid Jack would get loose. She shook her head in disbelief when the security guard was given the response that all others were expendable except Jack. Shepard decided it was time to tell Jack what she knew.

"There's a reason why they called you Subject _Zero_ , Jack. _You_ were the point of this facility," Shepard said.

"Bullshit," Jack said.

"It's the truth, Jack. Everything they did to you, they did to the other kids first. They used them as guinea pigs to perfect their methods for you. That's why so many of them died. Why they kept brining in new ones. Why it seemed like others were leaving while you stayed," Shepard said. "Jack, it's why they kept you away from the other kids except when it came time to test you. See how strong you were getting by making you fight the other children."

"No. No that's bullshit, Shepard. They did all kinds of things to me. They tortured me for days. Pumped me full of drugs and kept me locked up in that room. The other kids, they hated me, they all hated me. I got the worst of it, every time. You don't fucking know, you weren't here, Shepard," Jack said, her voice rising and her biotics flaring up around her as she paced and shook her head.

 _"_ _Careful, Dawn. You're pushing too hard,"_ Jane said.

"No, she can handle this. She may not want to hear it, but she can handle it," Shepard thought.

"You're right, Jack. The kids did hate you," Shepard said.

Jack stopped pacing and looked at Shepard.

"Because they knew that the shit they were enduring was all for you. They knew that they were being experimented on so that you only got the shit that made you stronger and none of the shit that killed them" Shepard said.

 _"_ _You don't know that, she barely came to terms with this figuring it out on her own,"_ Jane said.

Jack licked her lips and shook her head. She was still fighting it, still denying the truth Shepard was speaking.

"These people wanted you strong, Jack. They wanted you to be the most powerful human biotic alive. They wanted to push you, they used psychological torture to shape and mold you, to trigger more powerful biotic reactions." Shepard's voice rose as she spoke, trying to cut through Jack's denial. "They used drugs to reward you for attacking, and punished you when you didn't."

Jack stopped shaking her head and looked off into the distance as Shepard spoke. Her biotics continued to lick and jump around her skin. Shepard could see the glassy look to her eyes as the terrible memories threatened to drag her back. Garrus put a hand on Shepard's shoulder but she wasn't done. She needed Jack to hear the truth before Shepard made her one more promise.

"The worst part of it all, Jack? They didn't really give two shits if it was you or someone else that they were doing this to, you just were unlucky enough to show the most potential. They wanted to turn you into a weapon, and they hoped to be able to repeat the process with others. And it worked," she said.

 _"_ _That isn't helping,"_ Jane warned.

Jack turned to stare into Shepard's eyes. Shepard could see the rage like a fire burning in Jack's soul. Shepard was walking a fine line on the trust she had built with Jack already. She was taking a huge gamble and she knew it. She continued with a softer tone now that she had Jack's full attention.

"Look at you, Jack. You are the most powerful human biotic and you're still filled with so much rage you'll rip anything apart that gets in your way. They made a weapon alright; they were just too stupid to realize that they never broke you in the process," Shepard said. "You weren't _their_ weapon and that as soon as you had your chance you'd be the weapon that ended them. They're dead and you're still alive."

"Not all of them. The Illusive Man is still alive," Jack said.

 _"_ _Tell her. Tell her now. She needs to hear it now or you're going to lose her,"_ Jane said.

"Shh. I am. I've got this," Shepard thought.

A slow smile spread across Shepard's face.

"Not for long, Jack. Not for long. And when I go to his little hideout to put a bullet between his eyes, I'm taking you with me. I promise," Shepard said.

"Shit, Shepard. You're serious?" Jack asked.

"I'm serious. But let's not go advertising that to the other's just yet," Shepard said.

"Shit, right, of course. But what about EDI? I mean, isn't she listening to everything you're saying?" Jack asked, her biotics dying down.

"I trust EDI, she won't say a word to him about this," Shepard said.

"How can you be so sure?" Jack asked.

"Let's just say you aren't the only person I broke out of prison," Shepard said.

Jane chuckled, her amusement seeping in around the edges of Shepard's consciousness.

"What?" Jack asked.

"Shepard had Legion remove EDI's shackles," Garrus said.

"No shit?! So, what, there's nothing stopping her from taking over the ship and killing us all?" Jack asked.

"Just her lack of desire to do so," Shepard said with a grin.

"Damn. Remind me to stay on EDI's good side," Jack said.

"I can set daily, weekly, or monthly reminders for you, Ms. Jack. Would you like for me to do so?" EDI's voice broke through the comms.

"Uh, no. I –," Jack started to say.

"That was a joke," EDI said.

Garrus chuckled and Shepard laughed at the look on Jack's face. She patted Jack on the arm.

"Should probably get use to that. Her personality is developing more fully now without the shackles and she spends most of her time with Joker," Shepard said. "Most of the crew don't know about her yet, so we'd appreciate it if you didn't spread that one around either."

Jack grinned and said, "Yeah. Sure. Now are we going to set this fucking bomb or what?"

Shepard stepped aside and waved her arm out at the door. Jack led them through the door and down a set of stairs only to stop when she saw the dead varren lying on the next landing.

"Someone's here, Shepard. It's got to be Cerberus, who else would come to this hellhole? They knew we were coming," Jack said.

"I'm finding no indication of Cerberus activity in this area, Ms. Jack," EDI said.

"It's probably just scavengers looking for salvage," Garrus said.

"Yeah. Maybe," Jack said. "Can you stop with that 'Ms.' crap, EDI?"

"Absolutely, Jack," EDI said.

Shepard tightened the gap between herself and Jack as they moved down the next flight of stairs and to the next door. When Jack opened the door, Shepard signaled for her and Garrus to move into the morgue under cover before going in. She moved first to the partition wall before going down the steps and ducking behind the crates in the middle of the floor. The Blood Pack's krogan and vorcha spotted her and started moving in on her position right away. Shepard provided covering fire until her team was in position and she could pick her targets. Jack and Garrus moved in to cover her flank, Jack throwing out a Shockwave as she went to knock the vorcha pyros back. Jack took care of the vorcha, using a Pull to lift them into the air and shooting out their tanks to watch them explode. Garrus and Shepard focused on the krogan before helping Jack with the horde of vorcha.

"Shit. I didn't know this room was a morgue. I just wanted out. Damn, I fucking hate this place," Jack said.

They moved on, stopping to fight more vorcha and varren along the way. Jack recounted memories as they moved from room to room. Her words weren't the same from Jane's memories but the sentiment was. Garrus' mandibles lay tight against his face as he peered into the small cells where the children were kept. He growled quietly when Jack came to the realization that the hours she spent banging on the glass and yelling at the other children were completely wasted efforts. The children hadn't been ignoring her; they couldn't see or hear her behind the two-way mirror. Jack stopped to activate a console before cutting it back off again with an angry push of the button.

"This doesn't make sense. None of this shit is how I remember it," Jack said.

"Jack, half of their experiments relied on keeping you isolated and in the dark to get you riled up. You couldn't have known what they were really up to," Garrus said.

"You know, Jack … accepting that these other kids went through their own hell doesn't diminish what you went through and survived," Shepard said. "And … regretting your part in things, even what you didn't know … and fighting through them to escape with your life … those are understandable feelings. It still doesn't make you responsible for what happened here."

"I don't regret shit, Shepard. Those kids attacked me. Everyone attacked me. I did what I had to, to get the hell out of here," Jack said.

"Yeah, I bet they did. They were taught to be terrified of you," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Why can't you just leave it alone?"_ Jane asked.

"Why the fuck are you taking their side?" Jack asked.

"I'm being straight with you. They were innocent kids in all of this, too. You should be able to see that now, Jack. I'm not saying it wasn't fucked up; the entire thing was fucked up but be pissed at the adults who did this shit to _all_ of you. It's alright to be angry _for_ the kids instead of _at_ them," Shepard said.

"Because maybe you never did enough," Shepard thought.

"Whatever, let's just get this over with," Jack said as she walked past the next console and through the door.

A krogan stood at the far end of the room surrounded by his lackeys. He tapped his earpiece when Shepard and her team walked in and talked to someone named Aresh on the other end about credits and salvage. He came to some sort of agreement and said he'd take Shepard and her team out.

"Huh, look at that. I was right. I should have gotten one of you to put money on it," Garrus said.

Shepard raised an eyebrow at him and he fluttered his mandibles.

"Is that … is he wearing armor with _pink_ highlights?" Jack asked. "Now I really want to shoot him."

"I'm not stopping you," Shepard said.

Jack grinned and raised her pistol, firing off a shot at the krogan leader before diving for cover. Shepard kept her attention focused on the krogan leader, Kureck, while Garrus and Jack worked to keep the other krogans and vorcha pyros from closing in. Garrus saw that she was struggling to get through Kureck's barrier and shields to actually do damage and threw an Overload at Kureck when his barrier was down, taking out the shields and opening him up to Shepard's fire. Jack spotted a vorcha moving in on Shepard's flank and used a Pull to lift the vorcha in the air before filling it full of holes. Shepard grinned to herself knowing the biotic was watching her back.

When the room was clear, Shepard stood from cover and cracked her neck. Jack said the only room left was her cell. Shepard nodded and let Jack lead the way through the door and down the hall to her cell. Aresh hid next to Jack's old beat up bed but showed himself when Shepard called him out.

"My name is Aresh, and you're breaking into my home. I know you, Subject Zero," Aresh said as Jack pointed her pistol at him. "So many years have passed, and I thought I was the only survivor."

"Don't call me that. My name is Jack." She rubbed her hand over her scalp and shook her head. "You're one of them, aren't you? One of the other kids."

"Of course you don't recognize me. But I know your face, Jack. We all knew your face. We knew that everything that was happening to us was because of you. So their precious Subject Zero didn't die," Aresh said.

"I said my name is Jack!" She yelled and raised her gun a little higher. "I didn't know, OK? How was I supposed to fucking know? I didn't ask for any of this shit!"

 _"_ _She's confused and doubting herself now. How was this good for her?"_ Jane asked.

"You knew, and you hated us. They told us that you laughed when they told you. And when they put you in the pit, you attacked us. I saw you, Jack, I saw you killing everyone you came across during the riot," Aresh said. "It was beautiful."

"They attacked me!" Jack said, her biotics flaring around her, dancing and licking at her skin. "What the fuck are you even doing here?"

"I'm looking for answers. I'm rebuilding the place so I can figure out what they learned. I'm going to make another one like you, Jack," Aresh said.

"Like hell you are!" Jack flung raw biotic energy at Aresh, knocking him to his knees.

"Jack," Shepard said.

She stood over Aresh, her pistol pointed at his back. "What, Shepard? You heard him. He's reopening the Teltin facility. He's going to do this shit to other kids!"

"He wasn't as strong as you, Jack. This place destroyed his mind; he's sick and needs help. He's never going to reopen this facility or any place like it," Shepard said.

Jack grabbed her head and rubbed her face in her palm. "What do I do, Shepard? What the fuck am I supposed to do?"

"Let him go, Jack, and hope that he's still sane enough to get out of here before we blow the facility up," Shepard said.

 _"_ _We both know he's not going to make it. He isn't going to leave this place,"_ Jane said.

"And we both know that's not the point," Shepard thought.

Jack looked up, her eyes moving between Shepard and Garrus. She grit her teeth and shook her head, looking back down at Aresh. Jack growled and shoved Aresh with her boot.

"Go, get the fuck out of here before I change my mind. And you better run fast, dumbass, because I'm not waiting to make sure you're gone before I blow this bitch up," Jack said.

Aresh pulled himself to his feet and scrambled out of the door. Jack put her pistol away and raked both hands over her scalp, pacing back and forth before stopping to look at Shepard.

"Damn it, Shepard." Jack shook her head. "Give me a few minutes to look around. I need – this place was my whole fucking childhood."

"Take your time, we're not going anywhere," Shepard said.

Shepard walked around the room with Jack, listening quietly as she talked about the different objects and what they meant to her. Shepard's heart was barely holding it together. She could feel the heartache and anger coming from Jane and the others, too. There was so much pain and suffering, so much loneliness and loss here for Jack. Coming back here, everything she learned and everything Shepard had said just ripped the old wounds wide open again. Shepard just hoped that she was able to reframe things in Jack's mind enough to help the biotic put at least some of the bad of this place behind her. Shepard knew it would never be truly gone, not all the way.

 _"_ _How could it be?"_ Jane said.

When Jack was ready, they radioed the shuttle and the bomb was brought in. Up until this point, it had remained covered in the shuttle. Shepard hadn't even bothered to look at it until it was set in the middle of Jack's cell and the tarp pulled off. Her eyebrows shot up and she looked at Jack in confusion. Jack seemed just as surprised by what she saw. Someone had painted a picture on the bomb of biotic blue flames consuming a Cerberus logo. In the flames were shapes that Shepard eventually recognized as being representations of some of Jack's more prominent tattoos, the skeleton hand compass cross from her chest, the strange barcode from her head, and the skull from her shoulder. Shepard heard Garrus chuckle and turned to look at him.

"You did this?" Shepard asked.

"I had some time to kill while she was giving you your tattoo. Thought I might make it a little more memorable for Jack," he said.

Jack turned to look at Garrus and a slow grin crossed her lips. "It's perfect, fucking beautiful. Thanks."

Garrus lifted a shoulder and fluttered his mandibles. "Hey, I'm just glad you like it and aren't knocking shooting at me for getting something wrong."

Jack opened her omni-tool and took a picture of the bomb. She crouched down next to it and stroked her hand over the blue flames.

Shepard opened her omni-tool. "Smile for me, Jack."

Jack looked up at Shepard, her expression changing from confusion to a grin. "Shepard."

"Come on, just one pic. No one else ever has to see it if you don't want them to," Shepard said.

"Nah, fuck that. You'd better frame that shit and put it on your nightstand," Jack said.

"Deal." Shepard snapped a picture.

 _"_ _She doesn't even know how beautiful she is."_ The masculine voice, one of the other Shepards that had been starting to make himself known spoke up.

"Who are you?" Shepard thought, but the voice was gone.

 _"_ _What?"_ Jane asked.

"Nothing," Shepard thought.

Garrus squatted down next to Jack. "I'm arming it, so do me a favor and be careful with that detonator. I'm too pretty to die in this place."

Jack stood up and stepped back to stand next to Shepard as they watched Garrus arm the bomb. When he was done they made their way back out of the facility, keeping their eyes open for Aresh or any Blood Pack survivors. The place was deserted; Aresh had taken the warning to heart. Shepard really hoped that he found a way to come to terms with his past, too, and got some help.

Jack held the detonator tight in her fist as they piled back into the shuttle and took off. A few minutes out, Jack started to flip the lid of the detonator opened and closed just like she always had in Jane's memories. Shepard watched her closely, gauging how much further they could get before Jack grew impatient. When Jack left the lid open and let her thumb hover over the button, she looked up at Shepard with questioning eyes. Shepard knew it was time. She banged on the shuttle wall, urging the pilot on and smiled at Jack. Jack hit the button and a second later the shuttle was rocked by the waves. In the distance, a mushroom cloud billowed up. Jack pulled herself back into her seat and fixed her eyes on that cloud out in the distance until it couldn't be seen anymore. She was silent the rest of the ride back to the Normandy, and Shepard left her to her thoughts.

When the pressure in the Normandy had equalized, they opened the shuttle door. Jack hopped out and turned back to Garrus and Shepard.

"Liquor cabinet?" Jack asked.

"You bet," Garrus said.

Shepard winked at Jack and said, "Fuck yeah."

Jack grinned and headed for the elevator. "Cool."

Garrus slipped an arm over Shepard's shoulder as they followed Jack. Once the elevator stopped, Jack strolled out and right into Shepard's cabin heading straight for the liquor cabinet like she owned the place. Shepard shook her head and chuckled. Garrus helped Shepard out of her armor while Jack pulled out bottles of alcohol and brought them over to the coffee table. Shepard turned on some music and turned it up just loud enough to fill the room but still quiet enough that they wouldn't have to yell to hear one another.

An hour later and Jack had changed the music to something rowdier and was dancing in the middle of the floor.

"Come dance with me, Alliance," Jack said.

"Oh no. Trust me, Jack, no one wants to see that," Shepard said.

"Fuck that, come on." Jack said grabbing Shepard's hands and dragging her out into the room.

"Aright, alright. I warned you." Shepard began to move, swaying her hips gently and stepping her feet from side to side, her arms bent at the elbows moved in small circles.

Jack threw her head back in laughter. "OK, OK, stop. Here, just – come here."

Jack put her hands on Shepard's hips and pulled her closer to her. Shepard's eyebrows rose in shock but she laughed and let the biotic press her body against Shepard's, using her hands to guide Shepard's hips. Shepard could feel the heat rising through her body between the alcohol and Jack's incredibly intimate dance instructions. She glanced at Garrus, he was sitting on the couch with his feet up on the table and his arms stretched out to either side on the back of the couch. He watched her with fluttering mandibles and she could see him rolling the scents that were in the air around on his tongue.

Shepard looked away from him and focused her attention over Jack's shoulder. When the song stopped, she started to pull away but Jack grabbed her and pressed her lips to Shepard's. Shepard froze, wide eyed. She put her palms on Jack's shoulders and gently pushed her away.

 _"_ _Whoa …"_ Jane said.

"Jack … what are you doing?" Shepard asked.

"Come on, Alliance. I know you want me. It's OK." Jack pulled Shepard close again and ran her hands up Shepard's sides before brushing a thumb across Shepard's breast. "I know how to make you feel good."

"No, Jack, wait." Shepard grabbed Jack's hands and held them. " _Why_ are you doing this?"

Jack pulled her hands away. "Fuck Shepard, why do I need a reason? What you want Garrus in on it too? I can handle that."

"You need a reason because you've made it clear you weren't interested, Jack. I feel like … I feel like you're trying to say thank your or something and you think that this is the way to do that," Shepard said.

"So what if it is? I thought it would make you happy. I don't get you, Alliance. You want me so what's the problem?" Tears were starting to well up in Jack's eyes.

 _"_ _Oh, Jack,"_ Jane said.

Garrus dropped his feet from the table and leaned forward. His mandibles moving slowly opened and closed as he assessed the situation.

"Jack, I would never want you to do this if it wasn't something that you wanted for yourself. So unless you can honestly tell me that you're turned on and you _want_ _me_ , too … this isn't what I want," Shepard said.

"Look, just never mind. Forget I said anything," Jack said as the first tears threatened to spill down her cheeks.

"Come here," Shepard said, moving to the bed.

"What?" Jack hesitated.

"Just come here and lay down," Shepard said.

Jack stared at Shepard in disbelief for a minute. Shepard didn't think she was going to do it, but something shifted in her eyes and she crawled onto the bed. Shepard had a feeling that the alcohol in Jack's system was weakening her desire to push people away. She hoped she didn't regret it tomorrow, but knew she'd regret having sex with Shepard even more. Jack lay on her back with her fingers laced over her stomach. Shepard sat down on the bed next to Jack, pausing to see if she would run away. When she didn't, Shepard lay down next to her and scooted closer until her chest was just barely touching Jack's side. She wrapped her arm gently over Jack's stomach and tucked her hand in under Jack's side. She was afraid that if she wrapped her arm over Jack's arms, that it might feel too much like being restrained.

Jack tensed up the moment Shepard touched her but she didn't pull away and she didn't tell Shepard to stop. Shepard held her loosely, doing her best to not make Jack feel for a second that she wasn't in control.

"Let yourself know for once in your life, Jack, what it feels like to be held in the arms of someone who actually cares about you without it having to mean anything else," Shepard said.

"This is weird, Shepard," Jack said.

 _"_ _Just a little …"_ Jane said.

"You can get up whenever you want, Jack," Shepard said.

Jack didn't move. After a couple of minutes, Shepard felt the biotic's body begin to relax. A minute later, Shepard felt Jack's body shudder in a silent sob as Jack rolled to her side, putting her back to Shepard. Shepard took a gamble and began to slowly use her thumb to caress the bare skin beneath her hand. Garrus moved into Shepard's view on the other side of the bed from Jack. He looked at them both with worry and confusion in his eyes. Shepard smiled reassuringly at him. He lifted a hand towards the clasps on his armor and hesitated, looking at Shepard for guidance. Shepard nodded her head. Garrus began to undo his armor, sliding the breastplate away. Jack stirred, her body starting to tense again.

 _"_ _She's crying?"_ Jane asked.

"Yeah, I think so," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I hope you know what you're doing,"_ Jane said.

"He's just taking his armor off, Jack. That's it, his clothes are staying on. It's his way of showing you that he trusts you. He's making himself vulnerable for you." Shepard paused to let that sink in while Garrus continued to remove his armor. "Is it alright if he lies down with us?"

After a few seconds, Jack nodded her voice was hoarse when she whispered, "Yeah."

Garrus sat down on the other side of the bed without saying a word. He adjusted the pillows and lay back against them. Shepard watched over Jack's shoulder as Garrus draped one arm over Jack's head and held his hand out inviting her to come closer. Jack inched her way closer to Garrus. It took her a minute to find a comfortable position to get settled in against his plated chest. Shepard scooted closer to keep contact with Jack and Garrus brought his hand down to cup the top of Shepard's head.

Jack stretched her arm out and let it flop down over Garrus' chest. "This is so fucking weird. You guys are like … some fucking backwards, gun loving, hippies or some shit."

Shepard laughed and Garrus began to hum contentedly. They lay there in silence for a few minutes before Jack spoke again.

"You know … I think Cerberus murdered my parents," Jack said. "I can't even really remember their faces anymore."

Shepard didn't say anything; she didn't know what to say and didn't want to offer Jack some simple platitude. Instead, she resumed her gentle caressing.

"Do you remember their names?" Garrus turned his head to look down at her. "I still have contacts at C-Sec … hmmm, I might be able to find something on them for you."

Jack shook her head. "We were on Eden Prime, I know that. And I know I was born in twenty-one-sixty-one."

 _"_ _I didn't know she was from Eden Prime,"_ Jane said.

"I can talk to Anderson, if you want," Shepard said.

Jack shrugged. "Doesn't really matter anymore. What about you? What's the story with your parents?"

Shepard's hand stopped moving against Jack's skin. Jack tilted her head in Shepard's direction but Shepard didn't think she could see her. Shepard cleared her throat and started caressing Jack absently again.

She cleared her throat softly. "They were killed when I was sixteen. I'm from Mindoir and it's one of the places that was hit hard by batarian slavers. They fought like hell to keep them from me. Died saving me."

"Shit, Shepard. I shouldn't have asked," Jack said.

"It's alright. It might sound harsh, but they're better off dead than living as slaves," Shepard said. "Do you remember when we went to Gellix?"

"Yeah, sure. I came up here afterwards," Jack said.

"We went there because I had gotten a message from a woman named Talitha and tracked her to that location. She was the one I was trying to get out of there. I met Talitha back on the Citadel a few years ago. She was from Mindoir, and had been taken by the slavers. Years," Shepard said. "She was with them for so many years. She escaped but was so broken, so lost, that she couldn't grasp that she was really free."

Shepard's hand stopped moving again as she thought about Talitha. "She had a gun and they called me in to talk her down … the horrors she lived though. Anyway, come to find out Cerberus got their hands on her. They were using her damaged psyche as a way to study indoctrination. They had her all wired up with shit. She was getting visions of the reapers … I tried to save her, to get her the fuck out of there but they flipped some kind of kill switch and something they had in her just fried her brain. We were so close to being out of there and she died right next to me. Wasn't a damn thing I could do to stop it."

 _"_ _At least you tried,"_ Jane said.

"Fuck," Jack said.

"Yeah," Shepard whispered.

"Hmmm. Aren't you two just the life of the party," Garrus said.

Shepard snorted. "Tell us a story, Garrus. Cheer us up."

"A story?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah," Jack said.

Garrus told them stories about some of the cases he worked in C-Sec and some of the real idiots he'd arrested. Shepard fell asleep to the sound of his voice with her arm wrapped around Jack. Her dreams were filled of memories of time spent with Jack as a man's voice whispered to her.

 _"_ _Thank you. Thank you for taking care of Jack. She needs this. She needs you,"_ he said.

Shepard woke the next morning to EDI's voice. Garrus was still asleep beside her but Jack was gone. Shepard sat up in the bed and looked around the room, but didn't see Jack anywhere.

"What was that, EDI?" Shepard asked.

"I said Mr. Krios would like to know when you will be joining him in the hangar," EDI repeated.

"Shit. Crap, I forgot about that. This is going to suck so bad." Shepard climbed out of bed, the movement waking Garrus.

"Hey, where you going?" Garrus asked, his voice thick with sleep.

"Thane's waiting for me in the hangar," Shepard said stripping off her clothes.

"Where's Jack?" Garrus asked.

"EDI, tell Thane I'll be down in fifteen minutes," Shepard said. "I don't know, she was gone when I woke up. I'm guessing she's back downstairs. I've got to hop in the shower and get down there."

Shepard rushed to the shower and was back out five minutes later running a brush through her hair. She got dressed and kissed Garrus on the mandible before rushing out the door. She took the elevator down to the third deck and had Gardner pour her some coffee in a thermos. He handed it to her along with a muffin, Shepard shoved the top of it in her mouth and grabbed the thermos, waving goodbye with her other hand. She went straight back to the elevator and pushed the call button, eating the muffin as she waited. When the door opened, Garrus was inside. She stepped out of the way to let him pass but he crossed his arms and flared his mandibles.

"Oh no, I'm going with you to watch this," Garrus said.

Shepard groaned and stepped into the elevator with him, pushing the button to take them down to the hangar. When she stepped out of the elevator again, Thane was waiting patiently with his hands behind his back. Shepard shoved the last of the muffin into her mouth and washed it down with the terrible coffee.

"Sorry, I had a late night," Shepard said.

Thane smiled indulgently at Shepard before turning his attention to the turian standing behind her. "Garrus. Will you be joining us?"

"I'm just here for the show," Garrus said.

"I swear to gods, Garrus, I hear anything that even sounds like a laugh out of you I'm dragging you out on that mat myself," Shepard said.

 _"_ _If he doesn't just tear into Thane for touching you,"_ Jane said.

"He's not going to do that, they're fine now," Shepard thought.

"Yes, ma'am," Garrus said with a mock salute.

"Asshole." Shepard handed him the thermos. "Hold my coffee."

He clacked his mandibles against his jaw, took her thermos, and smacked her on the ass. "Good luck."

Shepard snorted and followed Thane out to the mat. Garrus followed behind them and leaned against some crates off to the side. Thane started out by taking her through a series of stretches to loosen her up. Though not painful, the positions felt foreign and unwelcome by her body, but she did her best to mimic his movements.

When they were finished, Thane stood in the middle of the mat and told Shepard to attack. Shepard fell into an offensive stance and eyed the drell standing as passively as if they were having a simple conversation. She knew better than to be fooled into thinking he wasn't ready for her. Shepard circled around him, trying to get him on the move but he stayed rooted to that spot. She knew he'd anticipate an attack from behind as easily as if she made her move from the front.

"This is so not fair," Shepard grumbled.

 _"_ _I could take him, if you let me out,"_ Jane said.

"Not happening," Shepard thought.

Thane's lips twitched in amusement. Shepard moved forward and took a low swing, aiming for his solar plexus. Thane's hand darted out to knock away her punch. He reversed his hand, wrapping it around Shepard's wrist and started to spin her. Shepard ducked down under her own arm letting it cross in front of her and kicked out at Thane's shins. He stepped to the side and hooked his ankle behind the one leg she still had on the ground, pulling it out from under her. Shepard landed on her back, rolled, and pulled herself up into a low crouch still within striking distance. Thane put his hands behind his back and watched her, waiting for her next move.

Shepard darted forward and made to feint, staying low as if going for his legs and then shifting at the last minute with an uppercut. He stepped to the side and pivoted, rolling his body around hers and planting his heel in the back of her knee, using her own momentum against her. She fell forward and tucked her head down planting her palms on the mat and rolled with the motion before pushing herself back to her feet. She spun to face him, her hands up but he was standing a few feet away with his hands behind his back. Shepard growled.

"You mustn't allow your emotions to become involved, Shepard," Thane said.

Garrus chuffed and Shepard glanced at him. He kept his eyes forward and his mandibles still. She turned her attention back to Thane.

"I don't see the point in this, other than to knock my ego down a few dozen pegs and now we've got a damn audience," Shepard said.

"I'll go," Garrus said.

"I believe it is better for her if you stay. Your presence seems to … inspire her to try harder," Thane said.

"Hmmm. Shepard?" Garrus asked.

"You're fine. Besides, I want a witness when I do knock him on his ass," Shepard said.

 _"_ _You sure you don't want some help? I could just show you once and then be done,"_ Jane said.

"No, Jane. Look, I get you're playing nice right now but I can't take that risk," Shepard thought.

Thane smiled and Shepard rushed in, closing the distance between them and opened up with a jab at his face. He moved his head to the side and she swung with the other hand. He dodged that just as easily. She pressed forward with a flurry of jabs and wider swings, pushing him back and trying to unbalance him. She dropped to the ground in an attempt to sweep but he jumped over her leg.

After the first half hour, Shepard was running out of energy. She was drenched in sweat and could feel her chest heaving. She called for a break and Thane indulged her. She stepped off the mat to stand in front of Garrus. He smiled at her and handed her the towel from the crate. She wiped her face and took her thermos, taking a long drink of the relatively semi-hot coffee.

"You're telegraphing your moves to him," Garrus said barely above a whisper.

Shepard looked up from her thermos and raised her eyebrows. Garrus fluttered his mandibles.

"How so?" Shepard asked just as quietly.

"I'm not sure, but I can tell he knows what you're about to do before you do it," Garrus said. "I'll keep watching."

Shepard grinned and put her thermos down before stretching up to kiss Garrus. "I'll just have to fight dirty, then."

"That's my girl," Garrus said.

Shepard returned to the mat and rolled her neck and shoulders before bringing her hands up again. She didn't waste any time moving in on Thane. She opened with the same move she started with and he responded much the same way, by blocking her shot and reversing his hand to grab her wrist. This time, when he spun her she let him. A heartbeat later, Shepard's back was pressed to his chest and his hands cradled her head and neck. Shepard stilled in his arms and winked at Garrus.

She arched her back, just barely pushing her ass into Thane's crotch and whispered, "I want you inside of me so bad."

There was a hitch in Thane's breathing and his hands started to slip away. Shepard grabbed his arm and pushed her hip into him, pulling him over her body in a hip throw. Thane landed flat on the mat. Garrus erupted in laughter. Thane stayed down his eyes staring at the ceiling in shock. Shepard cocked her hip and crossed her arms.

"You mustn't allow yourself to become distracted," Shepard said throwing his words from the day before back at him.

Thane cleared his throat and did a kip up. "Very good, Siha. Now, defend."

That was all the warning Shepard had before Thane was on her, flowing around her like water as his hands and arms met her flesh moving from point of contact to point of contact. Shepard got her arms up in front of her face to ward off the blows, bending to shield the attacks that he aimed lower. She was able to block some of them but far too many of them landed for her liking. She found herself immensely grateful that they were only sparring and he wasn't using his full strength.

 _"_ _I can take him. Just let me do this,"_ Jane insisted.

"No. I've got this," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _He's beating the crap out of you!"_ Jane said.

"We're training, I'm learning. That's how it goes," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _You're just – you're not even watching! You have to watch his movements to learn his patterns,"_ Jane said.

"You're distracting me, Jane. Shut up," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Gods, did you sleep through basic and N7?"_ Jane said.

"Shepard, your brainwave activity is beginning to behave erratically," EDI's voice echoed through the hangar.

Shepard's feet went off the mat and Thane abruptly stopped. Shepard frowned and patted her pockets until she located one of the vials. She held it up to her face, about to break the little plastic tab off when Thane put his hand over hers.

"Look at me, Siha." Thane's voice was soft but commanding.

Shepard looked at him, holding his gaze. She could feel the fogginess setting into her mind.

"Take a slow breath," Thane said.

Shepard complied.

"Again," he said.

Shepard saw Garrus move from the corner of her eyes and turned her attention to him. Thane held a hand out towards Garrus. Shepard heard the low growl but he stopped.

"Focus on me, Shepard," Thane said. "Breathe."

Shepard locked her eyes on Thane's and took steady, deep breaths. The fogginess was starting to fade and that only made Jane more agitated.

"This thing that you are feeling, acknowledge it and let it go. It is unimportant. It does not control you," Thane said. "Do not allow yourself to be swayed."

Shepard dipped her head and focused on her breathing. Taking long, deep breaths and letting them out just as slowly. She let herself feel Jane's agitation, acknowledging it instead of trying to push it away and then tried to let it go. It took her a few moments and more breathing to grasp how to let it go, but she did manage. Jane retreated to the recesses of Shepard's mind.

"Brainwave activity has stabilized," EDI said. "Would you like for me to send a report to Dr. Chakwas?"

"Yes, EDI, thank you," Shepard said. "Tell her I'll come see her when I'm done here."

Thane dipped his head to Shepard. She let her breathing normalize and tucked the vial away again. When she looked up she saw him retreating to the center of the mat. She dropped her arms and rolled her neck before following him. She stopped a few feet away and fell into a defensive stance. Thane advanced again and Shepard started circling, making him follow her around the mat. When he closed the distance this time he was moving slower. She blocked his first two strikes and dodged the third before countering with a swing of her own. He deflected, but didn't block it completely and her fist skimmed his shoulder. Thane smiled and pressed harder, picking up his speed.

They danced around the mat trading blows for another twenty minutes. Shepard blocked when she could and countered when she saw an opening. Few of her blows landed but it was enough to help her regain some of her confidence. She shifted stances and pressed him with attacks, forcing him to defend. It didn't last long however. Thane maneuvered around her hooked an ankle around hers, jerking her off of her feet. Shepard slapped her palms to his chest and grabbed his jacket on the way down. Thane tried to maintain his balance but he was going down with her one way or the other. Shepard planted a boot in his abdomen and let her knee bend as it took his weight. As her back hit the mat she pushed with her leg and guided him with her hands, flipping Thane over her to land on the mat a couple of feet away.

Shepard lay there with her chest heaving. "Huh. Wasn't as hard as I thought."

"Indeed, you are well trained. It has been many years since I have found myself down here … It is humbling. I believe you have found your focus," Thane said.

"Yeah, well, you're still kicking my ass," Shepard said.

Thane stood and moved to look down at Shepard. He studied her as she lay there regaining her breath. She couldn't see beyond the darkened lenses to see what was going on in his eyes. After a moment he extended a hand to her, pulling Shepard to her feet when she accepted. His hand lingered in hers a little longer than necessary before he slid it free and tucked it behind his back with the other.

Thane dipped his head. "We will begin again first thing tomorrow."

Garrus drew their attention to him as he began to clap. Shepard chuckled and shook her head. She walked over to the crate and grabbed the towel, draping it over her shoulder before grabbing her thermos. She pressed her lips to Garrus' before patting his armored chest. Shepard started towards the elevator, turning to walk backwards she looked at Thane and Garrus who stood a few feet apart watching her leave.

"I've got to go see the doc and then I need another shower. I'll see you two later." Shepard turned back around. "EDI, set course for the Alpha Draconis System in the Rosetta Nebula and inform Jacob that we're going to Aeia."

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard weaved around some crates and stopped when she heard Garrus voice echoing off of the hangar walls.

"You know she wants you to follow her, right? I can see why she likes you. Hell, I almost want to take you to bed and trust me; I'm not interested in men. You should go after her; I can tell she got to you with that. I could smell it on you," Garrus said.

"I … I'm afraid a shower is not a hospitable environment for me, but I am sure she would be delighted if you joined her," Thane said.

"Hmm. Your loss," Garrus said.

Shepard thought the chuckle that followed sounded forced. She started moving again, as quietly as she could, hoping that they wouldn't know she stopped to listen. She reached the elevator and hit the call button. When it opened she stepped inside and hit the button for the third deck. She could hear Garrus approaching when the doors finally slid closed.

Shepard stepped out of the elevator and went straight to the med bay. She paused in the door when she saw not only Dr. Chakwas waiting for her, but Mordin and Miranda as well.

"Well this isn't scary," Shepard said.

Dr. Chakwas rolled her eyes and waved Shepard over.

"You should have come right away, the scans may not be as useful now," Dr. Chakwas said.

"I'm fine, though. Thane really helped, I didn't even need to use the smelling salts," Shepard said.

"Need blood sample," Mordin said coming at her with a needle.

"I'll need to scan your cybernetics," Miranda said opening her omni-tool.

"And I'll need to scan your brain to compare it with EDI's report," Dr. Chakwas said also opening her omni-tool.

Shepard groaned as the three of them advanced on her. They scanned, poked, and prodded her for a few minutes before dismissing her. Shepard headed back to the elevator and took it up to her cabin. A few minutes later Shepard was rinsing shampoo from her hair when Garrus stepped into the shower behind her. She smiled as his hands slid around her stomach and pulled her back against his chest. He nipped at her shoulder and neck before whispering in her ear.

"I like the way you fight dirty," he said.

Shepard laughed. "Do you now?"

"Mhmm. I wish you could have seen the look on his face," Garrus said.

"I wish I had thought to ask you to record it. I'd play it every night just to gloat. It'd be a real hit at parties," Shepard said.

Garrus chuffed and resumed nipping at her flesh. Shepard moaned and leaned into him. He slid his hands up her slick skin until they found her breasts. A gasp escaped her lips when he pinched her nipples, a soft growl of pleasure rumbled through his chest. Shepard turned around and draped her arms over his shoulders, pressing her mouth to his and running her tongue over the edges of his plating. Garrus opened his mouth to her and their tongues met. He pushed her back gently against the shower wall and slid his hands down her sides to cup her ass and lift her legs around his waist. He held her there while he pulled back enough to position himself before sliding inside of her.

When they were finished, Shepard's muscles were trembling from exertion. Garrus gently lowered her until her feet were on the shower floor once more before pressing his mouth to hers again. She leaned forward and rested her head against the bare plating on his chest while he lathered up a washcloth and ran it over her back.

"What you did last night for Jack …" Garrus said.

"Mhmm?" Shepard said.

"It was good of you, Dawn. It was the right thing to do." Garrus hesitated, a strained sound escaping him. "I'm not sure I would have done the same if it had been me."

Shepard pulled lifted her head to look into his eyes and he stopped washing her. She put a hand on his face, tracing his mandible with her thumb.

"Garrus, if it weren't for everything that I know … if it weren't for Jane, I'm not sure _I_ would have handled it the same," Shepard said.

"You don't think so?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Jack is incredibly attractive and her confidence only adds to that. I don't think I would have second guessed it if she had come on to me not knowing what I know."

Garrus rested his forehead against hers. "So you don't think I'm an asshole because a part of me regrets that it didn't go differently?"

"Not if you don't think I'm an asshole for having the same thought," Shepard said with a snort.

His mandibles fluttered as he pulled away. He resumed his washing, moving to Shepard's front.

"I wonder when she left. You think we should check on her, make sure she's OK?" Garrus asked.

"No, not yet. Give her some space today. If we don't see her by tonight, I'll go down there," Shepard said.

"Hmm. Hey, Shepard?" Garrus said.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you, too, and I always will," Shepard said.


	49. Chapter 26: Darkness and Decay

**Chapter 26: Darkness and Decay**

Shepard sat on the edge of Jacob's workstation eating something that looked a little like a pear but tasted more like a strawberry. She couldn't remember where Gardner said they from or what he called them, but she found she loved them. Jacob worked on making repairs to an assault rifle that jammed the last time it was used.

Jacob looked up at Shepard. "I thought you chose the squads?"

"I do, but since this is your thing … I thought I'd give you a say in who goes. If I don't like it, I'll say so. I suggest Miranda, though. You two know each other well, right? It might make this thing a little easier." Shepard took another bite and caught the juice that dripped down her chin with a finger.

 _"_ _You mean you want Miranda to come play babysitter for this one. Make sure I don't get out of hand,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah, that's a part of it," Shepard thought.

"Miranda, huh?" Jacob asked.

"Sure. You don't think that's a good idea?" Shepard licked the juice off of her finger.

"I didn't say that. It's just that … Miranda and I aren't as close as we used to be. Still, it might be nice to have her there when I finally get some answers," Jacob said.

 _"_ _You think Jacob will stand by idly if Miranda starts fighting us?"_ Jane asked

"OK, who else?" Shepard asked.

"Do we really need anyone else?" Jacob asked.

 _"_ _Whose side do you think he would choose?"_ Jane asked.

Shepard thought about it for a minute and shrugged her shoulders. "Not if you don't want someone else."

"Samara," Jacob said.

 _"_ _Ha! I bet you five thousand credits I can get Samara to kill Miranda, maybe Jacob, too,"_ Jane said.

"Samara?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah. I like her, I think she's nice. And she hasn't been off the ship much," Jacob said.

"Samara it is. Anyone else?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _You're feeling lucky today, aren't you Dawn? You think that little breathing trick Thane taught you is going to save you? You're deluding yourself,"_ Jane said.

"No, I think that's good, Commander. Hey thanks again for this. I don't expect to find much but maybe just something that will tell me what the hell happened to him," Jacob said.

"Anytime, Jacob." Shepard hopped down off of the counter and gave Jacob a smile. "I'll let Samara and Miranda know to be ready."

She tossed the pit into the waste bin as she left the armory. She hit the call button on the elevator, and Kelley smiled and waved at her while she waited. Shepard returned the smile as the elevator opened. She took it down to the third deck and stopped to wash her hands in the restroom before tapping on the door to the starboard observation. She entered when she heard Samara's soft voice beckon for her to enter. Shepard was a little surprised to see Samara actually sitting on one of the couches in the observation with a book opened in her hands.

"Shepard, I am glad you have come. I wished to speak with you," Samara said.

Shepard sat down on the couch next to Samara, turning sideways with a knee against the back of the couch. Samara closed the book and sat it on the couch beside her. Shepard glanced at the title, _The Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allen Poe_ , and raised an eyebrow. Samara caught Shepard's reaction.

"It appears this man was very troubled, yet there is a particular elegance to his work," Samara said.

"I haven't really read any of his stuff since I was a kid in school and they made us read some of the classics. Maybe I should take a look at that when you're finished. Maybe now that I'm a little older it will make more sense," Shepard said with a smile.

 _"_ _A fearful idea now suddenly drove the blood in torrents upon my heart, and for a brief period, I once more relapsed into insensibility. Upon recovering, I at once started to my feet, trembling convulsively in every fiber,"_ Jane said.

"Don't," Shepard thought.

"Do you read often, Shepard?" Samara asked.

 _"_ _I trust my arms wildly above and around me in all directions. I felt nothing; yet dreaded to move a step, lest I should be impeded by the walls of a tomb,"_ Jane said.

"Jane, stop," Shepard thought.

Shepard shook her head. "Mostly just reports and correspondences."

"It has been years since I have stayed still long enough to read a book. I have spent the last four-hundred years on the hunt; it has not left me with much time to read. Many years ago, it was a favored pastime of mine," Samara said. "I am afraid that I must again set aside the books in favor of finding my quarry."

 _"_ _Oh, you don't like 'The Pit and the Pendulum'? How about something from 'The Masque of the Red Death'?"_ Jane asked.

"You've found something?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _And now was acknowledged the presence of the Red Death. He had come like a thief in the night. And one by one dropped the revelers in the in the blood-bedewed halls of their revel, and died each in their despairing posture of his fall."_ Jane continued to recite even as Samara spoke.

"I have, with the information that you collected on Illium." Samara folded her hands in her lap and gazed out of the observation window. "It is a difficult thing that I wish to ask. I have sworn an oath to you, Shepard, and I have agreed to serve you on your mission but I fear if I do not go after her now, she will evade me once more."

" _And the life of the ebony clock went out with the last of the gay. And the flames of the tripods expired. And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all,"_ Jane said. _"Reminds you of the Council pretending the reapers aren't real, doesn't it?"_

"Enough, Jane! Samara is trying to talk to me, this is important to her," Shepard thought.

"So we don't let her get away, we'll go after her," Shepard said.

 _"_ _What does it matter? You already know what she needs you to do?"_ Jane asked.

"You would help me with this?" Samara asked.

"You aren't the only member of this team to ask for help with something. You've seen that I've been willing to help them, why wouldn't I be willing to help you, too?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _And you're doing everything that you can to procrastinate the inevitable. Poe had some things to say about procrastination as well,"_ Jane said.

"For fucksake just shut up for five minutes, please?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _All you needed to do was say please,"_ Jane said.

Samara glanced down at her hands. "Perhaps I am still unused to having others willing to aid me. The life of a Justicar is all too often one of solitude. I should warn you that the fugitive I seek is extremely dangerous."

"If you're after her, I wouldn't expect anything less. What do you know about her?" Shepard asked.

"She is an Ardat-Yakshi," Samara said.

"A demon of the night winds," Shepard said.

Samara turned her eyes from the observation window to look at Shepard. "You surprise me, Shepard. This is not a thing that asari speak of to others. You have known another asari well enough to be trusted with a great secret of all asari."

Shepard brushed her hair behind her ear and rested her head on her palm and deflected revealing exactly how she knew of the Ardat-Yakshi. "There were two asari who died when the old Normandy was attacked … Dr. Liara T'Soni was a good friend of mine. She was obsessed with Protheans, and had a brilliant mind. Gods, she was only a hundred and six."

Jane stirred in the back of Shepard's mind but remained silent.

Shepard took a deep shuddering breath and gently cleared her throat. "The other was a colleague of Dr. Chakwas. Her name was Dr. Tulina. She and Dr. Chakwas were … very close. She joined the Normandy because she specialized in human psychology. She helped me through some rough times, though I didn't get the chance to know her very well."

"I am sorry. I did not intend to stir up the pain of such loss," Samara said.

Shepard smiled and shook her head. "Don't be. It hurts, but it's good to remember those I've lost along the way. So, where is this Ardat-Yakshi?"

"She is on Omega using the assumed name 'Morinth'. I believe she is using a nightclub called Afterlife as her hunting grounds. You are familiar with what an Ardat-Yakshi is and how she kills?" Samara asked.

"Yes, it's a rare genetic condition that alters the way an asari melds consciousness with others. Instead of simply joining another's mind, an Ardat-Yakshi overpowers the other, causing hemorrhaging and a slow death," Shepard said.

"That is correct. The Ardat-Yakshi gains intense pleasure from the meld and many become addicted to the process leaving a trail of bodies in their wake," Samara said. "When the condition firsts manifests, they are given the choice to live a life of seclusion or are killed. Morinth refused the offer and ran. She has been free and killing for four-hundred years, and I have been chasing her. When I find her, I must kill her."

"That's a long time to be chasing one person," Shepard said.

"She is my responsibility … she is my daughter," Samara said.

"Is she the reason you became a Justicar?" Shepard asked.

"Yes. I have two other daughters – two other Ardat-Yakshi – when they learned of their disorder they chose a life of solitude and moved to a monastery. I had nothing to keep me from pursuing Morinth when she ran, no other obligations. I saw a wrong, I knew what she was capable of and I took responsibility for tracking her down." Samara turned her attention back to the observation window. "I gave up all that I possessed and swore the oath of the Justicar. I swore to find my daughter, and kill her. Each life that she has taken since that day has been a reminder of my failure to stop her. My redemption lies in killing her."

"I'm assuming that asari have no control over this genetic disorder, even with as much control as they have over mating. You didn't choose for your daughters to be Ardat-Yakshi," Shepard said.

"Of course not, Shepard. No mother would choose this for their children." Samara's brow creased as she looked at Shepard in shock.

"Then why have you worked so hard to convince yourself that you are to blame for her actions?" Shepard asked.

"I – she is my daughter. I created her, gave her life. It was my duty to ensure that she was taught right from wrong, and I failed," Samara said.

"You have three daughters, Samara. Two of which chose the path that would allow them to live without killing others. One chose another path. It sounds to me as if she failed, not you," Shepard said. "Don't misunderstand me, I agree that she needs to be stopped and I am more than willing to help you but I see her as the one at fault here, and only her."

The silence stretched on for a few moments before Samar spoke again, "You are wise beyond your years, Shepard. I am not sure that I agree, but it is kind of you to say."

"I'm just giving you my honest opinion. Maybe you'll give it some consideration." Shepard stood and Samara looked up at her. "We'll get to Omega as soon as we can."

"Thank you, Shepard. There are no words to express what this means to me," Samara said.

Shepard nodded and started to leave. She stopped when she remembered why she came to see Samara in the first place.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Jacob has requested you as a squad mate for this next mission. He's received reports that the emergency beacon from the ship his father disappeared on ten years ago was activated. We're going to check it out," Shepard said.

"I see. This must be difficult for him. I will be ready to assist however I can," Samara said.

"Great, thanks, Samara." Shepard turned to leave.

"Commander? Might I ask you a question?" Samara asked.

Shepard turned back to see Samara had stood up and moved closer, speaking in hushed tones.

"Certainly," Shepard said.

"When we first met, you spoke to me about Cerberus and your plans for the operatives on the Normandy. I was curious if you have made any progress? Forgive me if it is not my place to ask," Samara said.

"Oh no, you're fine. Yes, I have made significant progress with both Miranda and Jacob. I am unsure about Kelley, Gabby, and Ken but I think they'll come around. Gardner even, perhaps. I haven't had the opportunity to speak with the other Cerberus crew. They tend to avoid me," Shepard said.

"This pleases me to hear. I believe Jacob is an honorable man. I did not wish to have to kill him when my service to you is finished," Samara said.

Smugness seeped through Shepard's mind, but still Jane was silent.

Shepard chuckled. "He seems to like you, as well. He said you're nice."

Samara smiled before returning to the couch and picking up her book. Shepard left the starboard observation and made her way to Miranda's office. She tapped on the door and entered when Miranda called out to her. Miranda was sitting at her desk sifting through a stack of datapads.

"Commander, good, you're here. Councilor Anderson just forwarded some of your medical records to Dr. Chakwas. Apparently much of it was classified and he insists that it can only be released to you in person. We need to go to the Citadel," Miranda said.

"It's going to have to wait a bit, Miranda. We have a lot lined up right now," Shepard said.

Miranda looked up from the datapads. "Commander, it is your call, of course but I cannot effectively help you until I have those records."

 _"_ _She can't help us. She'll just want to cut us open again. Probably leave something shiny and new inside. Or maybe something dark and ancient,"_ Jane said.

"I know, and we'll get there as soon as we can. I appreciate everything that you're trying to do to help, I do. I wanted to talk to you about something else though," Shepard said.

"Sure, have a seat." Miranda stood and crossed over to the chairs she had sitting next to the window across from her desk. "What's on your mind?"

"We're headed to check on the S.O.S. sent out by Jacob's dad's ship, the Hugo Gernsback," Shepard said.

"I'm aware," Miranda said.

"Right, and I'm aware that he got that message because of you." Shepard leaned forward, bracing her elbows on her knees. "What we find down there isn't going to be pretty, and it's going to do a number on Jacob. I let him choose who goes down with us, but I suggested you be a part of the squad and he's agreed."

 _"_ _Isn't pretty doesn't cover it. Ronald Taylor is the epitome of everything that is wrong with humanity. He's as bad as the Illusive Man. We should kill him, too. Sometimes we do that, you know? Let the hunters have at him. Or convince Jacob to give him a gun with one shot left. Wouldn't it feel wonderful to put a bullet in his head yourself? Jacob would understand,"_ Jane said.

"He's already dead, isn't he?" Miranda asked.

Shepard shook her head. "No, but it might have been better for Jacob if he were. I don't want to go into the details right now but it's a complicated mess and his father did some really terrible things. I know you and Jacob have a history, I don't know the details of that history, but I think he could really use some support down there."

"Of course, Commander. Things might not have worked out between Jacob and me, but I still care about him," Miranda said.

"I'm also asking you to go because you're one of the few people on board who understand what's going on with me. I would prefer to have someone around who will know what's going on if it something happens," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Hmmm, we'll see,"_ Jane said.

"Yes, I agree that would be wise. I will have smelling salts ready, should you need them," Miranda said.

"You should probably bring tranquilizers, too. Just in case." Shepard chewed on her lip. "It's possible that if she did take over, she might not do anything … you know, off the wall. But, she's not exactly fond of you anymore, Miranda. She shot Garrus, I don't think she'd hesitate to do you harm so … just be careful."

 _"_ _I didn't mean to shoot him, not really. That isn't fair,"_ Jane said.

"I'm sure I can handle it, Commander, but thank you for your concern," Miranda said.

 _"_ _Ha! Oh that's rich. C'mon, Dawn, don't you kinda want to knock her on her ass now just to show her that she definitely cannot handle a pissed off N7?"_ Jane said.

"Uh huh. Sure. Look, Samara and Jacob don't know about this. I get that if something happens you're going to have to tell them something. Do what you got to do, I'll deal with the consequences later," Shepard said.

 _"_ _What do you think Samara would say if she learned that you knew all along where Morinth was but you didn't tell her?"_ Jane asked.

"Samara is going with us?" Miranda asked.

"Yeah, that a problem?" Shepard asked.

"She is sworn to you, Shepard. How will she respond if I am forced to tranquilize you?" Miranda asked.

"Samara isn't exactly the shoot first ask questions later, type though so if you tell her it's for my safety I think she'll listen to what you have to say," Shepard said. "Besides, if it gets to the point where you have to tranquilize me … I don't think anyone will doubt it was necessary."

"I hope you're right," Miranda said.

 _"_ _Do you really believe that, Dawn?"_ Jane asked.

"So do I. Anyway, I'll be in my cabin looking over reports until we get there," Shepard said.

"Hey Jane, why don't you give creepy bitch mode a rest and try being helpful for a little while instead?" Shepard thought.

Miranda nodded and Shepard left, making her way back to her cabin. She settled in at her desk and started looking over reports from the crew about the functionality of the ship and things they were running low on. Jane soon grew bored and quieted down.

"Shepard, there is a call coming in for you from Councilor Sparatus. Shall I patch it through for you?" EDI asked.

Shepard stood up from her desk and closed her laptop, hitting the button to turn her display case into a vid screen before giving the EDI the go ahead to patch it through. A moment later the image of Councilor Sparatus appeared on the screen, Shepard saluted.

"Commander Shepard," Sparatus said.

"Councilor. What can I do for you?" Shepard asked.

"Commander, the Council has decided that you should be kept apprised of the developments relating to The Dissension," Sparatus said.

Shepard waited quietly while the councilor worked past his apparent discomfort of speaking to Shepard. Sparatus shifted in his seat and clacked his mandibles. Jane stirred, listening to the conversation.

"Joram Talid has been arrested and charged with suspected connections to the terrorist organization The Dissension, as per the reports made directly to the Council by a Council Spectre – yourself, obviously." Sparatus paused, his mandibles flaring as he considered his next words. "Because of the nature of the threats made towards you, the Council requested that another Spectre look into Talid – Naepia Protalus."

 _"_ _Haven't heard of them,"_ Jane said.

Sparatus looked at someone off screen to his right. "Is this really necessary?"

"Yes, Councilor, it is." Shepard recognized Tevos' voice.

"I'm sorry sir, but is there a problem?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _Obviously, look at him squirm,"_ Jane said.

Sparatus turned back to the screen and said, "Spectre Protalus was one of several names provided by Talid in an attempt to reduce his sentence. Hours after Talid provided the list of names, he was found dead in his cell and Spectre Protalus is missing. We believe she is involved with The Dissension and has gone rouge."

 _"_ _Fantastic,"_ Jane said. _"Another distraction. Let me guess, he wants us to track down this rogue Spectre?"_

"Tell her the rest, Sparatus," Tevos said.

Sparatus ran a hand over his face and snapped his mandibles tight against his jaw. "Although the list of names provided by Talid has also gone missing from our systems, it is my duty to inform you that my own name was among those listed. It is preposterous; of course, Talid was clearly doing everything that he could to save his own hide. That being said, I am recusing myself from the Council while I am under investigation."

 _"_ _Shit … this isn't good,"_ Jane said.

Shepard was speechless. She grabbed the back of her chair and stared into the eyes of the councilor on the screen as if she could find the answers there. Sparatus started to stand but abruptly stopped and turned back to the screen.

"Shepard … I know that our interactions have been … less than friendly but I had nothing to do with this. I am not involved with these people … and I certainly had nothing to do with what happened to you that night," Sparatus said. "And I'm sorry it happened at all."

Shepard took in the urgency in his voice and the strain in his face as he spoke. She wasn't sure what to believe, but her gut was telling her he was telling the truth.

 _"_ _I don't know. This is all new to me. I can't help you with this mess,"_ Jane said.

"Thank you sir," Shepard said.

Sparatus' mandibles flared wide before he nodded his head to her and disappeared from her sight. A moment later, Tevos took his place.

"Shepard, the other councilors and I would like to assure you that although we do not believe Councilor Sparatus to be guilty of these crimes, we will ensure that the investigation is thorough and we will remain objective throughout the process," Tevos said. "If you have anything that you would like to add to the investigation - any evidence, insight, or opinion, you are welcome to share that with us."

"I have nothing at this time, thank you. Councilor, if I may?" Shepard asked.

"Of course, Shepard," Tevos said.

"Does the Council plan to replace Councilor Sparatus during the investigation?" Shepard asked.

Tevos looked off screen briefly. "We are in the process of discussing that, but we believe it is necessary to replace Sparatus if for no other reason than to show publicly that we are not holding the entire turian population responsible for the actions of a few."

"Councilor, when the media gets wind of this … it's going to be a field day. This is going to fuel tensions between the turians and humans. How will the Council deal with this?" Shepard asked

"We will deal with things as they come, Commander. For now, we must show our due diligence with handling such a serious threat for the sake of both humans and turians," Tevos said.

Shepard nodded her head. "Damn it."

 _"_ _Damn it,"_ Jane echoed.

"I'm sorry, Commander," Tevos said.

"We weren't able to save any of the other names? No other information was gathered from Talid?" Shepard asked.

"Unfortunately, without the statement Talid made, and without Talid alive to verify the statement – any names remembered would be considered suspect and inadmissible as evidence. We are required to protect the identities of those individuals named for the time being," Tevos said.

 _"_ _Of course,"_ Jane said.

"I see," Shepard said pinching the bridge of her nose.

"We will get to the bottom of this, Commander Shepard. However, in the meantime, we still recommend that you maintain an escort while visiting the Citadel whenever possible," Tevos said.

"Yes ma'am. Thank you, Councilor," Shepard said.

Tevos gave Shepard a sympathetic smile before ending the call. Shepard ran her hands through her hair and let out a deep breath, her bangs fluttering around her face. She hit the button to turn the screen clear again.

"EDI, please ask Garrus and Thane to come to my cabin. I need to speak with them," Shepard said.

A moment later EDI said, "They are on their way, Shepard."

Thane was the first to arrive, thanking EDI as he entered the cabin. He stopped a few feet inside and turned to Shepard. His eyes scrutinized and assessed her, Shepard tried to smile reassuringly.

"I'm fine, no need to subdue me. I just got off of a call with the Council. I'll wait for Garrus to get here to explain," Shepard said.

Thane dipped his head, his posture becoming a little more relaxed. Thane turned to look at Spike pressing his nose against the glass. Shepard moved to stand in front of the tank with him, her arms crossed over her chest. Even being next to him was somehow relaxing.

"I'm thinking about letting him go the next time I'm on Tuchanka," Shepard said.

"Do you no longer find him pleasurable to look at?" Thane asked.

"No, I do. And I like taking him out to hold him, but Mordin kind of made me feel like a real ass for owning a pet," Shepard said. "Apparently humans are deplorable for the way we treat animals, above all other atrocities we've committed in his eyes."

 _"_ _Maybe he'll change his mind when he hears about Ronald Taylor,"_ Jane offered. _"I like Spike. We never had a snake before. Just fish that kept dying and a hamster that stayed hidden."_

"He appears to be content and in good health. On Tuchanka, he would likely find the living conditions far harsher. Finding adequate water and food would be more of a challenge, he would have to fend off predators and likely be attacked in territorial disputes," Thane said.

 _"_ _See, we should keep him,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah, maybe we should." Shepard wasn't sure how long Jane would stay in an agreeable mood, but she wanted to encourage it as much as she could.

Shepard grabbed her desk chair and rolled it over to the tank. When she started to step up on the swiveling chair, Thane braced the back of it for her. She opened the top of the tank and reached her arm down inside.

"He bit the hell out of me the first time; I think he got quite a shock when his teeth met metal. Luckily, he didn't hurt himself," Shepard said. "I usually make Garrus do this because he doesn't have to stand on a damn chair."

Thane chuckled and watched as Spike raised upwards, his tongue flicking in and out, as he met Shepard's hand. He pushed his nose against her fingertips before slowly wrapping himself around her hand and crawling up her arm. Jane seemed to delight in the sensation. Shepard carefully retracted her arm and Spike from the terrarium. The cabin door opened and Garrus walked in as she stepped off of the chair.

"Please tell me you didn't call me up here to watch you baby-talk to Spike," Garrus said.

Shepard stuck her tongue out at Garrus and held Spike up in front of her face. His tongue darted out, testing her scent.

"Ignore him, Spike. He's just a big meanie. Yes he is. He's jealous because I don't baby-talk to him. Who's my good little predator? Hmmm? You are, aren't you? Yes you are," Shepard said.

 _"_ _You're right. We're definitely not the same person,"_ Jane said, amusement tinting her words.

"Spirits, woman. Please don't ever talk to me like that," Garrus said.

"Oh so I shouldn't start talking like this in bed?" Shepard asked with a smirk.

Garrus chuffed and Thane chuckled.

"So what's up?" Garrus asked.

"I just received a call from Councilor Sparatus. EDI? Can you play that back for us by chance?" Shepard asked.

"Absolutely," EDI said.

Shepard pushed the chair back over to her desk and stood in front of the glass display case as it darkened. Thane and Garrus moved closer to stand behind her as Sparatus appeared on the screen. Shepard let Spike slither over her hands and arms as the call played. Despite what she'd said, Jane almost seemed to coo in response. When it ended, Shepard looked over her shoulder at Garrus. His mandibles were tight against his face and he stood rigid. He had to understand the implications of this in turian politics better than she did, and clearly he was concerned.

Shepard wrapped Spike around the back of her neck and went downstairs to the liquor cabinet. She poured Garrus a drink and turned to see that the two men followed her downstairs. Shepard crossed the floor and handed Garrus the glass, letting him process what he'd just seen. She settled in on the couch and gestured at the empty seats. Garrus slowly lowered himself to the cushion at the end of the section Shepard sat on while Thane crossed to the other section to sit. Garrus took a long drink of the brandy before leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"I believe him." Shepard wasn't positive until she said it out loud. "Sparatus is kind of an ass, but I don't think he's involved with this."

 _"_ _I think you're right,"_ Jane said.

"I saw no indication of deceit," Thane offered.

"Neither did I, but depending on how this thing goes, it's not going to matter," Garrus said.

"There's going to be political backlash either way," Shepard said.

"Turian-human relations are still tense, our alliances might not be able to withstand this," Garrus said.

 _"_ _What if this leads to war?"_ Jane asked.

"We'll do whatever we can to keep it from getting to that point," Shepard thought.

"Honestly, I'm more concerned about the turian's ability to unite when the reapers hit than I am about any conflict between our species," Shepard said. "The turian's military strength is vital against the reapers."

 _"_ _Gods, you're right,"_ Jane said.

Garrus ran the back of a gloved talon across his forehead. "No, when the reapers arrive, we'll be on the frontlines. It's who we are, what we do."

"It's not as simple as that, Garrus. When the reapers come … every other time, both Palaven and Earth were under attack. It was my job to convince everyone to band together for the final assault on Earth. I had to agree to help cure the genophage to get Wrex to help Primarch Victus –," Shepard said.

"Victus?" Garrus asked.

Shepard nodded and continued, "Wrex wouldn't help Victus fight on Palaven unless the genophage was cured, and Victus wouldn't lend Earth any support unless Palaven was covered. The reapers spread out through the galaxy, but they are gunning for Earth. The final showdown to this whole thing happens there."

"And with things already in motion to cure the genophage, and the potential of trouble between turians and humans … hmmm," Garrus said taking another drink.

"Exactly. So, we need to make sure that doesn't happen," Shepard said.

 _"_ _How?"_ Jane asked.

"What do you suggest we do?" Garrus asked.

"We've got to help prove Sparatus innocent, and encourage positive human-turian relations while the turians work to ferret out The Dissension and squash the group before things get even uglier," Shepard said.

 _"_ _It feels … dirty helping him, but if that's what it takes,"_ Jane said.

"How may I assist, Shepard?" Thane asked.

"I want both of you to see what information you can turn up. On Talid, on Sparatus, on Protalus. This thing is going to hit the media. See if you can figure out where people stand," Shepard said. "We'll have to go to the Citadel soon, but do what you can from here. There's an Alliance reporter, Diana Allers, I haven't met her yet, but I know she can be trusted. I'll see if I can track her down. I want to make it clear that I support Sparatus publicly and she won't sugar coat anything. I'll talk to Emily Wong, too."

 _"_ _Just avoid Khalisah al-Jilani,"_ Jane said.

"Of course. Fuck that bitch," Shepard thought.

Jane snorted.

"I should bring Grundan Krul in on this." Garrus put the glass down on the table and stood, heading for the door. "He can help. Unless that's a problem for you?"

 _"_ _He's not taking this well at all. Look at his eyes, they look so cold, and his mandibles … you couldn't pry them away from his jaw if you tried,"_ Jane said.

"Not at all," Shepard said.

 _"_ _What will happen to Garrus if we go to war with his people? We can't do that, can we? We can't participate in a war against the turians. We can't do that to him. He wouldn't do that to us. And what about the collectors and the reapers?"_ Agitation and panic started to creep in around the edges of Shepard's consciousness as Jane began to worry.

"No, we'll never participate in a war against the turians. Not so long as I have breath left in me. It's going to be OK, Jane. We'll find a way," Shepard thought.

"I'll let you know what we find," Garrus said.

 _"_ _What did we do, Dawn? We never should have looked at that list. None of this would have happened if we hadn't looked at the list,"_ Jane said.

"Shh, Jane, it's OK. It's OK. We'll fix it, alright? We'll fix it," Shepard thought.

Shepard stood and followed after him. Thane watched them with his hands tucked behind his back from the top of the stairs. She kissed Garrus and he pressed his head to hers. Despite her best efforts to soothe Jane, her worry was real and contagious. Shepard couldn't help herself from running through the worst of the 'what ifs' as Garrus leaned into her. Jane seemed to retreat, to wallow in her own fears. He squeezed her shoulder and left the cabin.

It wasn't until the door closed behind him that Shepard let the tears slip down her face. She turned around and swiped at her cheeks, glancing at Thane as she pulled the chair back to the tank. Thane moved to hold the chair without her needing to ask as she stepped up on it and coaxed Spike off of her arm and back into his tank.

"Remember to breathe, Siha. You have faced worse than this, I have no doubts you will find a solution," Thane said.

Shepard glanced down, more tears threatening to spill over her eyes. Thane held a hand out to her. She slipped her hand in his and stepped down from the chair. Pulling it back to wipe at her eyes again.

"I'm making a mess of this, Thane. None of this ever happened before. Things are falling apart and I'm not going to be around in the end to help him pick up the pieces," Shepard said. "Maybe Jane's right. Maybe I'm just making it all worse."

"I do not believe that she is … you shouldn't give up hope that you will survive this," Thane said.

Shepard gave a sardonic laugh. "Hell, Thane, you might just outlive me this time."

Shepard saw something flash in Thane's eyes to quickly for her to pinpoint before he turned his eyes to the ground.

"I – I find that an oddly discomforting notion. You are strong, Shepard. There is still time, you could survive this," Thane said.

Shepard shook her head. "That's not going to happen. He knows it. I know it. The best I can hope for is that when things go dark, they stay dark this time. And if it doesn't … well, I'm just glad that I was able to make at least some memories of my own to carry me through the times to come."

Thane put a hand on Shepard's shoulder and she forced a smile.

"Siha," he said.

"You know what scares me the most about it? Having to look at all of you through someone else's eyes and knowing that you won't even know I'm there. You won't see me. You won't know me. I'll just be another voice in someone else's mind." Shepard closed her eyes and took a deep breath and let it out slow.

Thane moved his hand to cup her cheek. "I see you now, Siha."

Shepard let out a wistful sigh. His touch calming her, she opened her eyes.

"I shouldn't be dumping this on you, I'm sorry," Shepard said.

"Don't apologize. I'm honored that you are willing to share these things with me." Thane opened his arms to her and she stepped into his embrace.

He held her in companionable silence, her cheek pressed against the cool leather of his jacket. After a moment, Shepard took another deep breath and chuckled.

"There you go spoiling me again." Shepard started to pull away.

Thane didn't release her though, his hands staying pressed against her back. Shepard's heart jumped and her eyes sought his, trying to understand the intent behind the gesture. His eyes were focused on her lips. The abrupt and complete shift in her thoughts made her mind stumble. He moved a hand back to her face, the tips of his fingers resting just below her jaw. He ran his thumb across her cheek and she could feel her pulse throbbing against his fingertips.

"You have taught me many things, Siha." His voice rumbled, soft and low like distant thunder.

Shepard licked her lips. "Oh?"

"I wonder if you are willing to teach me one more?" Thane asked meeting her gaze.

Shepard swallowed against the knot in her throat, her voice hoarse when she spoke. "What's that?"

He leaned in and brushed his lips feather light against hers. A small whimper escaped Shepard's throat when just as suddenly his lips had left hers again. His mouth hovered over hers, teasing her with its closeness yet feeling so far away.

"How to share," Thane whispered.

Shepard slid her hand along his jaw until her fingers cradled his head and pulled him closer, her mouth hungrily seeking his out. Heat surged through her as his lips parted, allowing her tongue entrance to his mouth. Raw lust and a wave of emotion crashed through her as he wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her in flush against his body. Shepard pushed against him, guiding him until his back pressed against the terrarium. She didn't hear the cabin door slide open.

"Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard ignored her, instead moaning into Thane's mouth.

"About damn time." Garrus' voice broke through Shepard's mind but she couldn't pull herself from Thane to turn and look.

Thane tried pulling from her but Shepard whimpered and pulled him back closer.

"Shepard, your brainwave activity –," EDI said.

Garrus was there beside her, his hands gently pulling her away as Thane freed himself from her grasp, as startled look on his face. Only then did she realize how close she was to losing herself to Jane.

"No. No, no, no." Shepard groaned.

 _"_ _There's no time. So much is going wrong. We have to stop it. There's no time."_ Jane rattled on, her voice delirious in Shepard's mind.

"Stay with me, Dawn," Garrus said. "Are you helping or not, Krios?"

 _"_ _The Dissension is working with the collectors. They must be. They're all indoctrinated. They're going to kill all of the humans. Harbinger has them now. We have to stop it!"_ Jane said.

Thane collected himself enough to speak up. "Shepard, just as this morning; deep breaths, acknowledge, and let it go."

Shepard nodded and focused on her breathing, clinging desperately to Garrus' arms as her head spun.

 _"_ _Dawn, do you hear me? Dawn! We have to stop them. We can't let this happen. They'll take everyone. They'll take us all, put us in pods and melt us down. They're going to feed us into the human reaper they're making. We have to stop this!"_ Jane said.

"Jane you have to calm down. You're not making sense!" Shepard spoke out loud, her hand clenching at her head as pain lanced through her skull.

"EDI, get Dr. Chakwas up here," Garrus said.

Shepard's head was spinning. She had to fight the urge to throw herself on Thane even while fighting the urge to go running from the cabin, screaming in panic. Thane was still encouraging her to breathe and to let go of the emotions threatening to consume her but it wasn't working out for her quite so well this time. Dr. Chakwas came in and opened her omni-tool right away, moving to Shepard's side and scanning her head. Shepard felt herself becoming agitated on top of it all, as Dr. Chakwas began asking her questions.

Dr. Chakwas didn't wait any longer for the deep breathing exercises to help. She snapped open a vial of smelling salts and waved them in front of Shepard's face. Shepard coughed and pulled away from the odor. Dr. Chakwas waved it under her nose again once more for good measure until Shepard gave her a murderous look. Soon, Shepard's cabin was filled with people poking, prodding, and scanning as Mordin and Miranda joined her to draw blood and scan her implants. Shepard stood there as passively as she could, torn between anger and sympathy for the insane voice in her head.

 _"_ _I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."_ Jane whimpered. _"They're coming. Oh gods, they're coming and they're going to kill us all."_

Garrus stood off to the side watching her like a hawk. Thane had pushed himself back in a corner near the door, looking to Shepard as if he wanted nothing more than to flee but was making himself stay in case he was needed. He met her gaze and Shepard winced, looking away from him and focusing on Spike instead. The thorned serpent had curled himself into the corner of the tank and appeared to be sleeping despite all of the activity going on just outside of his tank. Tears began to slip down Shepard's cheeks and she angrily shoved them away with her free hand.

"Do you have what you need?" Garrus asked, stepping forward.

"Yes, I believe so," Dr. Chakwas said.

"I'd like to run a few more tests," Miranda said.

"They can wait," Garrus said.

Miranda looked up at Garrus and cocked an eyebrow, her lips parted as if she were about to scold him when she glanced at Shepard. Miranda's mouth closed and she looked down at her omni-tool.

"I suppose they can. Shepard, I would appreciate it if you would come to my office when you're feeling up to it," Miranda said.

Shepard nodded and Miranda closed her omni-tool. Dr. Chakwas squeezed Shepard's arm and headed for the door, Miranda right behind her. Thane stepped out of her way. Mordin followed, all the while explaining to Dr. Chakwas and Miranda why they should allow him to take blood samples from them for comparison. Shepard turned and walked downstairs to collapse on the couch. She shoved her fingers into her hair and hid her face in her palms.

She could hear Garrus and Thane talking quietly where she left them, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. She thought Garrus sounded a little angry once or twice but he didn't raise his voice. After a couple of minutes, Shepard heard Garrus come down the stairs and felt his body settle in next to her on the couch. When he wrapped his arm around her, she dropped her hands from her face and leaned into him.

"Thane leave?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah. He, uh, he said he wanted to give you your space," Garrus said.

"I saw the look on his face. He ran scared. Can't say that I blame him. That wasn't exactly the ideal first kiss," Shepard said.

 _"_ _They're coming,"_ Jane said.

"He's just concerned, Shepard. Hell, we all are. The way he sees this, he set Jane off. He doesn't want to risk it happening again," Garrus said.

Shepard smiled.

"What?" Garrus asked.

"You're defending him. That's a far cry from threatening to rip his throat out," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Garrus. Garrus is the only turian we can trust. We can trust him, right? He's not working with the collectors. He won't let them have us,"_ Jane said.

"Of course we can trust Garrus," Shepard thought.

"Yeah well, I'm still not getting into bed with the two of you," Garrus said.

"You don't let me have _any_ fun," Shepard said forcing a smile.

Garrus chuckled. "How are you holding up?"

Shepard thought about it for a moment. "I'm pissed. And emotionally exhausted. I'm so tired of living this way, Garrus."

Garrus rubbed her arm. "I know, Shepard. I would fix this for you if I could. Maybe we'll get lucky and one of them will come up with a solution; figure out a way to make Jane go away."

"I don't want her to go away, Garrus. I need her. I just wish she would stop making it all so gods damned difficult," Shepard said.

 _"_ _He wants me to go away? Garrus … wants me to go away?"_ Jane asked

"You don't need her, Shepard. You already know what's going to happen, and what you need to accomplish. You can figure out the details without her," Garrus said, tensing next to her.

 _"_ _No, no, you need me. And we need Garrus. We need all of them."_ Jane's thoughts shifted away from The Dissension and focused in on Garrus' words. _"I didn't mean to shoot him. Tell him I'm sorry, please! Tell him I'm sorry."_

"You know, she's miserable over shooting you. She wants you to know that she's sorry," Shepard said.

"Hmmm. Well, if she's really sorry she'll stop doing this to you," Garrus said.

"I'm not so sure she can always help it, Garrus," Shepard said. "She keeps changing from one moment to the next. I'm not sure how much control she has over any of it anymore."

Garrus stood abruptly. "Are you going to be alright alone? I only came back up here to grab a datapad I left here last night. I need to finish filling Grundan Krul in on this whole mess with The Dissension and the Council."

Shepard watched as that old familiar coldness began to creep back into Garrus' eyes. "Yeah, sure. I'll be fine. No worries."

Feeling deflated, Shepard made her way back to her desk as Garrus left her cabin. She stayed there going over reports and trying her hardest to not think about what was going on in Garrus' mind for fear it would upset Jane all over again. When EDI told her she had twenty minutes before they arrived at Aeia, she suited up and went down to the shuttles to meet her ground team. Miranda eyed her warily as she climbed into the shuttle.

"Are you well, Commander?" Samara asked.

"Yeah, I've just got a lot on my mind," Shepard said.

Once everyone was in the shuttle, Shepard closed the door and knocked on the wall to alert the pilot that they were good to go. The hangar doors opened and the shuttle lifted off the hangar floor, leaving the ship and flying down to Aeia. Shepard glanced at Jacob who seemed to be watching Miranda closely. She took that as a sign that Miranda had spoken to Jacob about the message he received. She idly wondered what else went into that conversation but she knew it wasn't her business.

The shuttle landed on Aeia and everyone climbed out. The sound of ocean waves lapping against the shore reached Shepard's ears. She took a moment to look around at the rocky ledges and palm trees surrounding her. She glanced up at the sight of the moons, so close to Aeia that it almost seemed like she could reach out and touch them. EDI's voice came over the comm, telling the team that there were no signs of life but that the ship might still hold valuable information. Shepard stepped aside and motioned Jacob forward.

Jacob looked at her, his eyebrows raised as if to ask her if she were sure. Shepard nodded and smiled. He gave her a firm nod and took the lead, moving down the path towards the wreckage of the Hugo Gernsback. Miranda stayed close to Shepard, as did Samara; both for very different reasons. Shepard caught Miranda's eye and then looked pointedly at Jacob's back. Miranda frowned at Shepard but moved up closer to Jacob.

She could hear the two of them talking softly to one another, only able to make out every few words. Miranda seemed to be trying to prepare Jacob for the worst, and Jacob seemed to be assuring her that he didn't expect to find his father alive. Shepard glanced at Samara who smiled at her warmly.

"It is very beautiful here," Samara said.

Shepard looked around her again and nodded. "Yeah, it is. Tranquil."

"It reminds me of the gardens on Thessia," Samara said. "Have you ever been to Thessia, Commander?"

"No, not yet. I'm sure I will someday. Liara use to talk about it sometimes. Mostly just the occasional story from her childhood … memories of a time before her mother … her mother was Lady Benezia. I don't know if you knew who she was, or of her involvement with Saren?" Shepard asked.

"I do not know of her," Samara said.

"She was a well-respected matriarch until she became involved with Saren. She thought she could help him, pull him back from the brink of insanity and keep him from hurting anyone else. But the longer she spent with him, with Sovereign; she became indoctrinated and was soon working to aid Saren." Shepard turned her eyes to the ground in front of her as they walked. "We had to fight her on Noveria. It tore Liara apart. Benezia broke through the hold the indoctrination had on her mind in the end, just long enough to give us a little information and say goodbye to her daughter."

Jane tossed and turned, restless in the back of Shepard's mind. Images of Liara began to float to the surface. Her smile lit up the room like no one else's. Shepard could see every freckle that dusted the asari's cheeks, and every curve of her crest.

"She was still very young, your friend Liara. I imagine that was devastating for her and for you as well," Samara said.

Shepard cleared her throat and looked back up at the wreckage as they approached the ship. "Yeah … anyway, one of the stories I remember Liara telling me was about how she use to dig in the garden at home when she was a child. Looking for ruins she said. It upset Benezia, but she helped Liara to realize her dreams as an archeologist."

They stopped at a stack of crates on the shore while Jacob listened to the logs on an active laptop. Shepard watched as the smile faded from Samara's face as the recording spoke of the mistreatment of the crew. The beacon stood nearby, the active VI giving off a repeated warning about the dangers of consuming local flora.

"Let's look inside the ship first," Jacob said. "Something doesn't feel right about this."

"It's your call, Jacob. I'm right behind you," Shepard said.

"Yeah," Jacob said making his way down the gangplank.

Jacob paced as the final recording played in the ship. "Is he … is he talking about raping that woman? Shepard, what the hell's going on here? What happened to these people? We got recordings of people talking about not being able to remember things – even things that happened a few minutes before – and this man talking about taking advantage of a woman!"

Shepard shook her head. She wished she could just tell Jacob exactly where his father was and what the sick son-of-a-bitch had done but she couldn't. It wouldn't change anything for him, anyway. The truth was there were no good answers for this.

"Maybe the beacon can tell us more," Shepard said.

Jacob looked behind him, as if he could see the VI through the ship's walls. "Yeah."

Shepard followed him as he made his way to the VI. He listened as the VI gave its warning about the local flora before he began asking it questions about the crash and the surviving crew. As Shepard expected, the VI wasn't able to provide much relevant information because Acting Captain Ronald Taylor had deleted records before reactivating the beacon almost nine years after it was fixed. The VI was able to confirm that those who consumed local food experienced neural decay regardless of decontamination or preparation, and although it was clear the effects were accumulative it was unknown whether they were permanent.

"Why would he delete records, and why wait so long to start the beacon back up once it was fixed?" Jacob asked.

"Perhaps he thought help was on the way?" Miranda suggested.

Jacob shook his head. "No, he deleted the records for a reason and waited almost nine years to turn it back on. He didn't want anyone finding him … I just wish I knew why."

"If there are still any survivors around, I doubt they went far." Shepard glanced uphill, knowing exactly where the survivors would be found.

"Yeah. Even if we don't find my father, if there are still people alive from this ship, we should get them some help," Jacob said.

 _"_ _We had Cerberus pick up the survivors before … we thought they helped them but we thought they helped Talitha, too."_ Jane spoke up, her voice monotonous and sedate, for the first time since she finally quieted in Shepard's cabin.

"We won't call Cerberus in this time. I'll just call the Alliance." Shepard assured Jane.

Jacob slowed, becoming more cautious when he saw crates littering the path. A woman peered around the edge of a crate and ran out to meet them. She spoke excitedly to Jacob about the leader's promise that help would come and the hunters who would try to stop Jacob from helping. Jacob struggled to make sense of what the woman was saying; clearly she had been affected by the neural decay the VI spoke of. Shepard kept her eyes up, waiting for the group of feral men with guns to arrive. She signaled to Jacob when she saw the first one. Jacob pulled the confused woman back behind a crate and took cover himself.

Shepard and the others moved to cover and returned fire. Shepard cringed every time one of the hunters – as the woman had called them – fell to her team's gunfire. These men and women needed help, not to be shot, even if some of these men had participated in the atrocities that Ronald Taylor allowed on his watch. That Ronald Taylor participated in himself. She cringed inwardly again when Jacob denied that his father would have allowed these things to happen, he didn't even know the half of it.

"This was caused by eating food from this planet?" Samara asked.

"The VI said the effects were accumulative. The Hugo Gernsback crashed here ten years ago. Even with what rations they might have saved from the ship, it is likely that these people have had nothing else to eat for years," Miranda said.

"My father … this must be why he stopped the beacon. He wasn't in his right mind," Jacob said.

 _"_ _It would be better if that were the truth,"_ Jane said.

"Maybe. Only one way to find out. Let's keep moving," Shepard said.

Jacob helped the woman to her feet and she clung to him. Shepard helped him to disentangle himself and moved the woman to the back of the group, telling her to stay behind them. Jacob led the way up the inclining path until they came to the main encampment. Women milled about the area, some clustered together talking in groups. The woman broke away from Shepard's group to join the others, talking excitedly to them about the star that arrived. Crates of spoiled rations were strewn about. A statue forged from scrap from the wreckage, abstractly resembling a human figure had been erected in the center of the camp.

Shepard and the others tightened in around Jacob as the women began reacting to Jacob's presence. They spoke about him having the same face as the one who forced them to eat the food and decay. Others spoke of being punished and abused, of pleasing the leader as he demanded. Shepard watched Jacob as all of the things he'd been trying to put together and simultaneously deny began to fuse solidly into place in his mind. She watched as Miranda saw him draw the same conclusions she had likely already come to, and she saw the remorse etched into Miranda's face. Shepard watched as Samara surveyed the camp, listened to the muddled reports of the survivors and new that the Justicar, although sworn to wait and follow Shepard's lead, had already found Ronald Taylor to be guilty of horrible crimes and deserving of the swift action of a Justicar.

They made their way through the camp towards where the path picked up again and were confronted by LOKI mechs. Shepard didn't hesitate to open fire on the mechs, forcing them back to keep the fight away from the women in the camp. Samara glowed a brilliant blue-white beside Shepard as she used her biotic Throw to toss the mechs around. Miranda focused on using her Overload to take down the mechs' shields and damage their circuitry while Jacob used his biotic Pull to lift the mechs up into the air before shooting at them.

When the mechs were down, Shepard moved to the woman cowering on all fours not far from where the mechs came from. She stood to her feet when they approached and spoke to Jacob, telling him in a roundabout way that even though Jacob looked like his father it was clear that Jacob was there to help. She gave Jacob a datapad containing logs from the early days after the crash. Shepard watched as Jacob's mouth tightened into a thin line as he read over the logs. She waited for Jacob to be ready to speak, but Miranda wasn't as patient.

"What is it, Jacob? What does it say?" Miranda asked.

Jacob shook his head and handed the datapad to Miranda. He turned his eyes to Shepard, determination slowly replacing the pain. Shepard patted him on the shoulder.

"We'll find him and get to the bottom of this, Jacob," Shepard said.

"And when we do, he'd better have some damn good answers." Jacob gently shrugged Shepard's hand from his shoulder and began pacing. "I get why he'd think they'd need to keep the rations for the officers. I mean, yeah, if they all got the neural decay then who would fix the beacon. But the beacon was fixed a long time ago, and instead of turning it on and calling for help he and his men forced these people to become sick so they could be used as their personal play things! I can't believe my father would do this, Shepard. This isn't the man I remember."

Miranda passed the datapad to Shepard who scanned over it, already knowing what it would tell her before passing it on to Samara. The Justicar took her time reading the information.

"He exiled the male crew and divided the women as chattel among the officers and himself." Samara said. "These were not just actions. If he still lives, he must be held accountable."

 _"_ _Then he killed the officers, too,"_ Jane said.

"Don't worry, he will be," Jacob said. "Come on, the mechs came from up there. Maybe that's where he's at."

They fought their way through more mechs as they neared the secondary encampment where Ronald had holed himself up. His voice came in over a speaker system as they pushed forward, claiming that he had to keep them busy but it was getting dangerous. Shepard assumed he meant the hunters that were closing in on his location. Her team had to fight through the feral men as well as the mechs. The closer they got to Ronald, the heavier the resistance and more barricades.

Miranda was the first to spot the YMIR mech, but Shepard had been expecting it. She was in the process of switching to her grenade launcher when Miranda called out the warning. Shepard ducked behind cover and gave Miranda the order to use her Overload while she targeted the mech. Samara helped to break through its shields using her Reave and Jacob provided a distraction, moving from location to location as he fired off shots at the mech in an attempt to harry. Shepard caught the mech in her crosshairs and fired off several grenades, ducking back down as the mech exploded.

Shepard stood and slung the grenade launcher over her shoulder, her chest heaving as she turned to Jacob. He nodded and approached the door in a hodgepodge wall build from pieces of the wreckage. He followed the path up to a platform where his father paced, overlooking the water below. Hunters were already creeping closer in the distance, watching and waiting.

"You're here. I knew a real squad would blow through just fine. Sorry if the mechs scuffed your pads," Ronald said.

Jacob came to a stop a few feet away from his father, Shepard and the others forming a loose line next to him. Ronald's eyes roamed over the group, trying to determine the leader. Finally he settled on Shepard, she assumed because of her full armor and big guns. She leaned against a crate and turned her head to Jacob. Ronald followed her gaze and focused in on Jacob instead.

"What did you do?" Jacob asked softly.

"I'm sorry?" Ronald said.

Jacob lunged forward and grabbed his father by the shirt pulling him in closer to his face. "I said what the hell did you do?"

Miranda raised her pistol and biotics flared up around Samara. Shepard cocked an eyebrow; Jacob had never come at his father this strong before. Not at first at least. Miranda glanced at Shepard and she shook her head. Miranda lowered her pistol and the biotic haze around Samara began to die down.

 _"_ _Should just let them shoot him, he doesn't deserve to live,"_ Jane said.

"It's Jacob's father, his call," Shepard thought.

"Let go of me! Do you know who the hell I am?" Ronald asked.

"Acting Captain Ronald Taylor meet your son, Jacob Taylor. Jacob looks pretty pissed, wouldn't you say, _Ron_?" Shepard said.

"Pissed doesn't even begin to cover it," Jacob said.

Ronald's face fell, his eyes opening wide in shock. "Jacob?"

"That's right, _Dad_. Longtime no see. You know, it's crazy, I never thought I'd see you alive again but after seeing what you did here … what you did to these people … now I wish I hadn't." Jacob shoved his father back, releasing his shirt.

Ronald stumbled back, hitting his back against a crate and falling to his knees.

"So let me ask you again, what the hell did you do?" Jacob seethed through clenched teeth.

"I – I … Jacob, you don't understand. I – I never meant for things to go this way," Ronald said.

"Yet here we are," Miranda said.

Ronald pulled himself back to his feet. "This isn't me, Jacob. You know that. I made some bad choices … the realities of command … I thought I was making the right calls, keeping things together. Keeping the order while we got the beacon going again."

"That beacon was fixed almost nine years ago!" Jacob yelled.

Ronald looked at the ground in front of him. "It took a while to fix. The crew had already succumbed to the neural decay. There'd already been … incidences with some of the male crew trying to mutiny. By the time we got it fixed, things had already gotten out of hand. I didn't know how to explain this if help came."

"So you left the beacon off and played king? Killed off the rest of your officers and had your pick of whatever woman you wanted to abuse for the night? Ten years!" Jacob moved in closer to his father, but Ronald backed away. "You've been promising these people that you were going to get help for them but you didn't even try. You've been too busy living out some juvenile fantasy. What happened? Huh? The men you exiled came back for revenge and now suddenly you want help?"

 _"_ _I think he's going to kill him. One less for the reapers,"_ Jane said.

"I wanted out alive, Jacob. Surely you can at least understand that. I didn't expect you to be the one to show up," Ronald said.

"You think this would have looked any better to anyone else?" Jacob asked.

"I thought I could explain it somehow. Give a good enough excuse that no one would look too hard at. Even if I was wrong, life in prison sounded better than dying here," Ronald said. "Look at them. Even now they're gathering around waiting for a chance to take my blood."

"Maybe I should let them," Jacob said.

"Jacob, you don't mean that. Look, I know I was wrong but you can't just leave me here to die. You're better than that. Better than me," Ronald said.

"How the hell would you know?! I haven't seen you in thirteen years!" Jacob yelled pulling out his pistol and pointing it at his father.

"You want to kill him, Jacob, I don't think anyone here would hold it against you but either way he's not getting away with this. I've still got some friends in the Alliance. I can call Hackett, get him here to take him to prison – get everyone else out of here and the help they need. It's your call," Shepard said.

Jacob shook his head and took a few steps back closer to Shepard. He slowly lowered his pistol.

"Call him, Shepard. If he's even got a fraction of a conscious left it'll be worse for him to spend the rest of his life knowing what he's done every single day," Jacob said.

 _"_ _It won't be a very long life. Not with the reapers coming,"_ Jane said.

"Thank you, son," Ronald said.

"I'm not your son. Not anymore," Jacob said walking away.

Shepard nodded to Miranda and Samara who held Ronald at gunpoint while Shepard stepped away. Jacob watched the hunters as they edged closer and raised his pistol at them, warning them off. Shepard asked EDI to patch her through to Hackett and watched Jacob as she waited.

"It's alright. He's going to pay for this and we're getting you all out of here. Just … just stay back," Jacob called out to the hunters.

Admiral Hackett's secretary picked up the call and Shepard had to convince the other woman that it was in her best interest that she put the call through right away. Finally, she conceded and the call was patched through to Hackett.

"Commander Shepard?" Hackett said.

"Admiral Hackett, sorry to bother you sir, but I have something that needs the attention of the Alliance and, well, you're one of the few who has the pull and is still willing to listen to me," Shepard said.

"What's the problem, Commander?" Hackett asked.

"I'm in the Alpha Draconis System of the Rosetta Nebula on a planet called Aeia. I'll forward you the coordinates. We received information about an S.O.S. from a crashed ship called the Hugo Gernsback. One of my team had a relative on the ship, so we came to investigate," Shepard said.

She could hear movement on Hackett's end as he pulled up what information the Alliance had on the Gernsback.

"Sir, what we've discovered is that many members of the crew and a handful of officers survived the crash. First Officer Ronald Taylor was promoted in the field to acting captain when the captain didn't survive," Shepard said. "I'll give you all of the details in a report, but the long and the short of it is that Acting Captain Taylor deliberately delayed the reactivation of the beacon after coming to the realization that the crimes he committed against his officers and crew would condemn him to a life in prison."

"What kind of crimes are we talking about here, Shepard?" Hackett asked.

"Rape and murder, primarily, sir. It's more complicated than that though. The natural food sources on Aeia are toxic, and not fit for human consumption. The survivors have been here for ten years, forced to either consume the food of this planet or starve to death as Acting Captain Taylor horded the salvaged rations for himself and his officers," Shepard said. "He killed his officers after the beacon was fixed. Taylor is the only one here still alive not affected by some sort of neural decay caused by the food. There are a lot sick people here, sir, and some of them have gone feral and are attacking."

Shepard heard Hackett's chair squeak. "I see. I can have a medical transport team there in two days. Can you hold Taylor until then?"

 _"_ _Two days? We're going to wait here for two days? But the reapers are coming. We have to stop them before it's too late,"_ Jane said.

"Two days isn't going to make or break us, Jane," Shepard thought.

"Yes sir. I'll take him up to the Normandy and establish a ground guard until your team arrives," Shepard said.

"Thank you, Commander. Hackett out," he said before disconnecting the call.

"EDI, forward Admiral Hackett the coordinates and patch me through to Dr. Chakwas," Shepard said.

"Patching you through, Commander," EDI said.

 _"_ _But The Dissension and the collectors … there's so much to do,"_ Jane said.

"What is it, Commander? What's happened? Are you alright?" Dr. Chakwas shot out the rapid-fire questions faster than Shepard could think to answer.

"I'm fine doc. We've got a situation groundside. There are a lot of sick people down here, they've consumed local food sources and it's caused what is being called 'neural decay'. Some of them have become violent. I've got Hackett sending in a medical transport and I am securing a prisoner for them until they arrive," Shepard said.

"Oh dear," Dr. Chakwas said.

"I figure while we're waiting, it wouldn't hurt to see if you can help them at all. Make sure to leave enough medical supplies to cover us for a few days until we can restock, but otherwise use what you can to help these people," Shepard said. "I'll have EDI get a shuttle and a guard team set up."

"I'll start gathering supplies," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Thanks, doc," Shepard said.

"Of course, Commander," she said.

When the call was disconnected Shepard told EDI to send down Zaeed and Grunt with Dr. Chakwas. She told her to relay to them the importance that they bring water and rations to last them a day because under no circumstances were they to consume anything on Aeia. Shepard would rotate them out after six to eight hours depending on how things went, but it was better to have more than what they needed just in case. With the orders given, Shepard ended the call and made her way back over to the others.

 _"_ _I don't want to stay here,"_ Jane said.

"We'll go back to the ship for the night, but I'm not leaving until the Alliance gets here. Look at these people, Jane. Half of them would be dead by the time help arrived if we just left them like this," Shepard thought.

"The Alliance is on the way with a medical transport. They'll be here in two days. We're taking Ron here to the Normandy until they arrive. I'm having Dr. Chakwas and a guard team sent down. We'll wait until they land before we leave. I want to make sure that the others won't be attacked in our absence," Shepard said. "Samara, make sure Ron here doesn't get any bright ideas of running. Miranda, with me. Ron, if I were you, I'd sit real still because I'm pretty sure the only reason Samara hasn't snapped your neck under the heel of her boot is because I haven't told her it was OK, and quite frankly, if you try to run I'm not going to care if she kills you."

Samara smiled serenely at Shepard. "As you will, Commander."

Shepard returned Samara's smile before turning to Miranda. "Stand watch with Jacob, I'm going to see if these hunters can be reasoned with."

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Commander?" Miranda asked.

"No, but I'm doing it anyway so keep your eyes open because I'm leaving my guns holstered," Shepard said.

"If you insist," Miranda said.

"I do," Shepard said.

They walked over to where Jacob stood, his pistol still trained on the group of men eyeing his father from a distance. Shepard filled Jacob in on the plan and Miranda took up position next to him.

"I'm coming over to talk to you, but my guns are staying put away, OK? I just want to talk," Shepard said.

They turned their attention to her and began to shuffle about nervously as Shepard held her hands out in front of her and walked towards them. They fidgeted with their stolen pistols, adjusting their grips on them and watching her cautiously but they didn't raise the weapons. Shepard stopped when she was a few feet away from the closest hunter.

"My name is Commander Shepard. I've called the Alliance and they're sending ships to take you all away from here. Ronald Taylor is being placed under arrest, he's going to prison for what he did to you. Do you understand?" Shepard asked.

"The liar doesn't deserve prison! The liar deserves death!" one of the men called out.

 _"_ _That's what I've been saying,"_ Jane said.

"I don't disagree, but that isn't my decision to make and unfortunately it isn't yours either. Now, I would very much like to have you all come back to the camp with the others where you can all be safe until the medical transport arrives, but I need you to put down your weapons to be sure you won't hurt anyone else," Shepard said.

"No! You're just like the liar! Making false promises!" One of the men raised his gun at Shepard only to jump back with a yelp when one of her team fired at the ground in front of his feet.

"I want to help you. Medical transport teams are on the way. Please, put down your guns and come back to the camp," Shepard said again.

Shepard watched as three of them shook their heads and ran off into the wilderness, disappearing behind the palms and outcrops. Four others hesitantly dropped their guns on the ground and moved towards Shepard, their eyes darting between her and her team. Three others watched, torn and undecided. One of them began to rap his knuckles over and over against the side of his head as he swayed back and forth; looking between Shepard and the trees the others disappeared behind.

"Listen, it's OK if you don't want to come right now. You can join us later if you decide to, just leave your weapons behind," Shepard said.

One more let his pistol fall from his hands and moved toward Shepard while the others backed slowly towards the tree line. Shepard stood surrounded by the five feral men who chose to surrender their weapons and come peacefully. They eyed her warily, one of them brave enough to reach out and touch her armor as if to assure himself that she was real. Shepard gestured toward Miranda and Jacob.

"Come on, the doctor from my ship is on her way down. I don't know what she'll be able to do to help you here, but she'll do what she can while we wait for the Alliance," Shepard said.

The men clustered together and shuffled forward toward Miranda and Jacob who at Shepard's signal lowered their weapons. Samara ordered Ronald to his feet and Shepard's group formed a wall around him, keeping him separate from the hunters and they made their way slowly back down to the camp. More hunters watched them, perched above on the rocks as they passed. A couple following along at the top of the ridge.

The women in the camp pushed back to the edges, clustering together and watching with fearful eyes as Shepard escorted their tormentor and the men who had been hunting them into the camp. The woman who had passed the datapad to Jacob was the first one bold enough to come forward.

"You are … taking him away? Back to the sky?" She asked Jacob.

"We're taking you all away. He's going to prison and the rest of you are getting medical treatment. We've got Alliance ships on the way. Tell the other, alright? Tell them you guys are going back to the sky. You're going home. Help is coming," Jacob said.

The woman smiled and Shepard thought she saw a hint of tears in her eyes. "Home … I will tell them … we're going home."

The woman went back to the others to spread the word. Moments later hopeful glances were being cast Shepard's way. The hunters and women stayed to themselves, separate groups watching the others warily until one woman slowly made her way forward.

"Him, I know him. I forget his name … but his face, I see it in here," the woman said tapping her head.

Shepard turned to look at the group of men, trying to pinpoint the individual the woman was talking about. It wasn't difficult because he was the only one who had his eyes locked on the woman in front of Shepard with obvious longing.

"You want to go see him?" Shepard asked, turning back to the woman.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she nodded her head.

"Alright, come on." Shepard guided the woman over to the group of men.

The others pulled back, leaving the man to stand on his own as Shepard came to a stop a few feet away. The man dropped his eyes to the ground as the woman cautiously moved to him. She reached out a shaky hand and touched his face. He lifted his eyes to her.

"Lina." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest.

"Shepard, we've landed. We've got company though." Zaeed's voice broke through Shepard's comm.

"Male or female?" Shepard asked.

"Male. They've got guns but they're just watching us," Zaeed said. "It's creeping me out. Do I shoot 'em or what?"

"Alright, listen, all of the people here have got something wrong with them. They're confused and unable to think coherently. The males are more aggressive, territorial. Be prepared to defend Dr. Chakwas but don't you dare fire first," Shepard said. "If any of them are close enough to hear you, tell them you're there to help and that the Alliance is coming with ships to take them all home."

"Whatever you say, doll. Where are you?" Zaeed asked.

"Just follow the path up past the wreckage. It's a straight shot. I think we got them all but if you see any mechs, take them down," Shepard said.

"You got it," Zaeed said.

"Jacob, Miranda I want you to take an inventory of this place. See if any of these food stores are still edible. See what we have to work with and clear an area of Dr. Chakwas. See if you can get a head count," Shepard said.

"Aye, aye, Commander," Jacob said moving to the nearest crate with Miranda at his heels.

By the time Dr. Chakwas arrived with Grunt and Zaeed, several of the women survivors had relaxed enough to try to help Jacob and Miranda. The men still stood around watching everyone with wide, wild eyes ready to fight or flee at the first sign that something wasn't right. They became increasingly agitated when they laid eyes on Grunt. Shepard cursed herself silently for not considering that they might react negatively towards the intimidating krogan.

"It's OK, the krogan is with me, he's a friend," Shepard said.

They relaxed only slightly when a handful of other disarmed hunters followed Grunt into the camp. Dr. Chakwas moved immediately to Miranda and Jacob's location before she opened her bag and began coaxing the survivors to her to be scanned and their wounds treated. This drew the attention of a couple of the hunters, still intelligent enough to recognize the actions of a doctor. Shepard nodded her head to them and told them to go get checked out before briefing Zaeed and Grunt on what was happening and what she expected of them.

Zaeed looked over at Ronald, sitting like an obedient dog at Samara's feet. A look of disgust pulled at the scarred features of the old mercs face and he spit on the ground.

"Should just kill him. Better yet, cut his nuts off and let these people have at him," Zaeed said.

 _"_ _I like that idea best,"_ Jane said. _"Let's do that."_

"We're not doing that," Shepard thought.

Grunt chuckled.

"The thought crossed my mind, but Jacob opted to turn him over to the Alliance so that's what we're doing," Shepard said.

With everything in place, Shepard got Ronald to his feet and prepared to take him back to the shuttle. Jacob insisted that he wanted to stay on the ground and help the survivors as much as he could. Miranda offered to stay as well but Shepard told her she needed to go back to the Normandy and rest. She'd have to rotate out with Dr. Chakwas and Mordin until the Alliance arrived.

Miranda, Samara, and Shepard led Ronald back to the shuttle, Shepard's pistol pointed at the back of his head the entire way. She could see hunters watching her from the rocks, and she wanted them to know that their Acting Captain wasn't getting away with his crimes. They piled into the shuttle, Shepard didn't lower her weapon until the doors were closed and the shuttle was in the air.

Shepard took Ronald Taylor to Grunt's quarters for the time being. She left Samara to watch over him with the promise that she would send someone to replace her soon. Samara insisted it was not a bother to her. Shepard had EDI call everyone else into the comm room for a briefing. She broke down the details of what they had found on Aeia and the fact that they now had a prisoner aboard the Normandy.

Jack cracked her knuckles. "I'll guard him."

 _"_ _That's a wonderful idea,"_ Jane said.

"I think it's probably best that we let the more level-headed individuals guard Mr. Taylor," Miranda said.

"I wasn't talking to you, Barbie," Jack said.

Miranda crossed her arms and opened her mouth to respond. Jack smirked and raised an eyebrow in challenge. Shepard held up a hand cutting them both off.

"I appreciate the offer Jack, we'll see. We might all have to take turns watching him when we're not on the ground. Miranda is right though, as disturbed as we all may be over Mr. Taylor's actions we have to treat him according to Alliance standards until we hand him over to the Alliance," Shepard said.

"Lame," Jack said.

Shepard smirked and turned her attention back to the group. "Mordin, Miranda, and Dr. Chakwas will rotate with the ground guards so that someone with medical experience is present at all times both on the ship and on the ground. Because of this, they will not be considered to be a part of the guard teams themselves."

She looked over the others trying to calculate the best teams. "Garrus, Jack, and Mordin be ready to relieve the ground team in six hours. I'll relieve you in the morning and work out a rotation from there. Legion, I'm going to have you watch our prisoner through the night cycle so those who require sleep can rest. EDI have Samara notify you when she's ready to be replaced. Everyone else, rest up while you can. And remember you do not eat or drink anything that you didn't bring with you while you're down there. Dismissed."

Everyone nodded or spoke their understanding as they began to file out of the room.

"Jack, got a minute?" Shepard asked.

Jack leaned against the table and waited for the others to leave. Shepard moved around to lean against the wall in front of her. Thane was the last person to leave, not before casting a concerned glance Shepard's way. Shepard smiled at him reassuringly before the door closed behind him.

"What's up?" Jack asked.

"Just checking to make sure we're good. You were gone when we woke up," Shepard said.

"Yeah, we're good," Jack said.

"You sure?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah. It just got too fucking weird. I mean, I get what you were trying to do … but I had to go," Jack said. "It was too soft for me."

Shepard smiled and nodded. "Afraid you'd wake up with a butterfly tattoo on your ass?"

"Ha! Look at you trying to make jokes. Good one, Alliance," Jack said walking out of the comm room. "Good one."

Shepard made her way to her cabin to ditch her armor and take a shower before making her way down to the mess hall. As soon as she finished eating, Grundan Krul slid into the seat next to her and set a cup of coffee in front of her. Shepard grinned and wrapped her palms around the warm mug.

"Thanks. I needed this," Shepard said.

"I know," Grundan Krul said.

Shepard snorted and nudged his side with her shoulder. A flicker of a smile crossed his face as he sipped from his own mug.

"So, miss Omega yet?" Shepard asked.

Grundan Krul shook his head slowly. "Not at all."

"Glad to hear it. We'll be headed back that way soon. I'd hate to have you abandon ship," Shepard said.

"There's a shop there that sells the best coffee. I'll stock up," he said.

 _"_ _I guess he's not so bad. Not that it matters, none of it matters,"_ Jane said.

"I think I love you. Marry me?" Shepard asked.

Grundan Krul smiled wide enough to show his sharp teeth and snorted. "Sorry, Shepard. You'll have to make due with Archangel. You humans are ugly as all hell with your one set of eyes, weird noses, and flat teeth."

Shepard gasped in mock offense. "Careful, your sense of humor is showing."

"Better than my ass," Grundan Krul said with a straight face.

Shepard let her head roll back as she laughed. "Thanks. I think I might have needed the laugh more than the coffee."

"I know," he said.

Shepard smiled, vaguely aware in the back of her mind how ironic it was for her to become fond of a batarian but he was working his way into her heart just like all the others. She drained her mug and set it on her tray.

"Make sure to get some sleep tonight. I'm taking you down with me in the morning." Shepard stood and picked up her tray.

Grundan Krul dipped his head to her and she patted his shoulder as she walked past him to drop her tray off with Gardner. She hesitated outside of the elevator and glanced at the door to life support. Jane stilled before retreating back to the recesses of Shepard's mind. She chewed on her lip and turned on her heels. Shepard knocked quietly on the door to life support before entering. Thane sat in his usual chair, his hands clasped in front of his face. He turned to look over his shoulder as she walked in.

"Can we talk?" Shepard asked.

"Of course, Siha," Thane said.

Shepard walked across the room to stand in front of the observation window. She looked out at the mass effect core, listening to its quiet hum and feeling its energy prick at her skin even from there. Thane sat silently, watching her.

"What happened earlier wasn't your fault, you can't take the blame for that. I won't let you," Shepard said.

Thane didn't speak.

"I got a little too _enthusiastic_ when already in an emotional state and left the door open for Jane to try to step through, but that's on me, not you. I'd like to promise you that it won't happen again, but I can't. I get it though, if you decide that isn't something you want to deal with," Shepard said.

"My timing was unfortunate. I should have been more considerate of the fact that you were processing stressful news. I acted selfishly, seizing the moment before I could let doubt set in." Thane spoke softly. "That I do not regret."

Shepard turned to face him, leaning her back against the glass. He stood three feet away, his hands tucked behind his back. She hadn't heard him move, but it wasn't a surprise.

"I … lost myself in the moment and am ashamed that I didn't realize your … reaction was not yours alone," Thane said.

Shepard smiled and shook her head. "Don't be mistaken, Krios. Yeah, Jane and the others are always there and they have a way of amplifying what I'm feeling but that … that was mostly me going after what I've been wanting but didn't think I was allowed to have."

"You were rather enthusiastic. Intense." Thane smirked and took a step closer to her. "It was … intriguing."

Shepard rolled her eyes and shook her head, even as the blush crept into her cheeks. Thane stepped closer still and pushed her hair away from her neck before trailing his fingers down her throat.

"Perhaps we can use your _enthusiasm_ to aid in your training." Thane leaned toward her, his lips posed to kiss her but when Shepard leaned into him to press her lips to his he pulled back again.

Shepard watched him with a growing hunger.

"To teach you patience." He brushed his lips softly against hers.

Shepard wrapped a hand around the base of his skull and tried to pull him to her but he resisted. Thane slid his hand up to meet hers and gently pulled it away, tucking her hand behind her back. Shepard raised an eyebrow.

"To teach you self-restraint." He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers again.

Shepard growled softly when his lips pulled away again.

"And perhaps, to teach you to accept suffering," Thane said.

"Sadist," Shepard said with a smirk. "You have to know that there's nothing submissive about me."

"Indeed, Siha. I do not ask you to submit to my will." Thane nuzzled against her neck, dragging his lips across her skin. "I ask you to commit to your training, so there will be a time that I needn't worry about … becoming lost in the moment."

Shepard squirmed. "I have conditions."

"I'm listening," Thane said.

"If you want to include this in my training, it stays in training. Designated time and place. Outside of that, we simply enjoy each other's presence however we see fit," Shepard said.

"Agreed," Thane whispered in her ear.

"Two more things," Shepard said.

"Name them," he said.

"You can never hesitate to take me down if things go bad. It isn't going to change how I feel," Shepard said.

"I will do as I must. What else?" Thane asked, his lips tracing a line across her throat.

Shepard's body trembled in response. "It doesn't start now."

Thane moved his mouth to hers, claiming her tongue with his own. Shepard wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, reveling in the feel of his hand cupping her face while the other pressed against her lower back. After a few moments, she pulled away and rested her forehead against his, closing her eyes. Her chest heaved as she tried to control her breathing.

"Siha, is it too much?" Thane asked.

She knew he was asking if Jane was pushing for control, Shepard smiled and shook her head. "No, but I'm very near the point where it isn't enough. I don't want to rush you, so I'm showing some self-restraint."

"Ah." Thane let his hands slip away from her.

Shepard cleared her throat. "Um, so I'll see you in the morning first thing."

"Indeed," Thane said turning to the side so she could walk past.

Shepard started toward the door but Thane's hand wrapped around her wrist and tugged her back to him. He pressed his lips to hers before she could protest pulling them away again too quickly for her taste.

"Goodnight, Siha," he said.

Shepard smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held her there until she pulled away again.

"Goodnight, Thane," Shepard said.

Shepard was in her cabin an hour later filling out a report for Hackett when Garrus came in. She looked over her shoulder at him as he came to stand beside her, resting a hand on her back. She smiled up at him.

"Hey, how are you?" Shepard asked.

"I'm worried, Shepard. This thing with Sparatus and The Dissension could get real ugly," Garrus said.

Jane began to stir once more. Shepard really didn't want to get her started again, but she needed to be supportive. Jane had been right, Garrus wasn't taking this well at all.

Shepard nodded. "Yeah, it could. I'm worried, too. We'll figure it out, Garrus."

"Hmmm. We shouldn't have to. It shouldn't be our job, but Spirits know the Council won't do it themselves," Garrus said.

Shepard snorted. "They're actually being far more useful this time."

"If that's the case, I'd hate to see how it was for Jane." He rubbed small circles on her back. "What are you working on?"

"A report on Aeia for Hackett," Shepard said.

Garrus moved his hand to the back of her chair and pulled the chair back, dragging her away from her desk and turning her to face him. "Sooo, it can wait."

Shepard laughed. "It can wait."

Garrus put a hand on either side of her chair and leaned down close to her, taking in her scent. "I'm glad you two worked things out. I'm surprised he's not in here with you."

"I care about him, Garrus. I don't want to rush this with him too much. The whole idea of sharing a lover with someone else is new for him. I never imagined he'd agree to something like this," Shepard said.

"You have an alarming way of convincing people to see things your way, Commander." Garrus leaned in and nipped at her neck, opposite of where Thane's scent was the strongest.

Shepard tilted her head to the side, exposing her neck to him and caressed his head just beneath his crest.

"Come to bed with me, Dawn. Help me forget that we might soon be considered enemies at war." His voice was strained, his sub-vocals heavy with worry.

"We'll never be enemies, Garrus. I don't give a damn what our species decide to do," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Never,"_ Jane said.

Garrus tugged at her hand. Shepard closed her laptop and left the chair, letting Garrus lead her down to the bed.


	50. Chapter 27: Coexist

**Chapter 27: Coexist**

Shepard leaned against a crate in the hangar catching her breath. She ran the towel over her face before draping it over her shoulder. Thane stood in front of her with his hands tucked behind his back, waiting for her to decide where he would spend his day.

"I'd like to keep you on the ship during the hotter parts of the day; it gets humid down there so close to the ocean. I'll send you down overnight when it's dark and not so bad. You can take over for Legion this morning and watch our prisoner for a few hours. That'll give you time between to rest if you can." Shepard rubbed the towel over her face again. "Grundan Krul, Kasumi, and Miranda will go down with me to replace Garrus, Jack, and Mordin. I'm going to have to order Jacob to come back to the ship."

"He has not returned yet?" Thane asked.

Shepard shook her head. "No, he wants to help fix what his dad did to those people. I get it, but there's really not much he can do and exhausting himself isn't going to help anyone."

 _"_ _Leave him alone. He needs this, and I never thought to give it to him,"_ Jane said.

Thane nodded and turned his eyes to the ground.

"You're thinking about Kolyat, aren't you?" Shepard asked.

"There have been whispers among some of the Cerberus crew since Mr. Taylor was brought aboard." Thane turned his eyes back to Shepard. "Some people might believe that the things I have done in my life are as wicked as those done by Mr. Taylor and although Jacob was not a small boy, his father disappeared from his life. It is not difficult to see the parallels."

 _"_ _You can't compare apples to oranges,"_ Jane said. _"It's not even the same league of wicked."_

Shepard pushed away from the crate. "Thane, I don't pretend to know all of the details of your life but taking lives professionally pales in comparison to the utterly repulsive choices that Ronald Taylor made not only as a man, but as a leader. So unless you can tell me that in his position you would have done the same thing to the people under your command, you are _nothing_ like that piece of shit. I'm not saying that all of your choices have been stellar, but who hasn't made bad choices along the way? I sure as hell have."

Thane smiled. "It pleases me to hear you say so, Siha."

Shepard shook her head and snorted. "Look, we don't live in a galaxy of black and whites. I know you're no saint, Thane. Some of the others weren't always as accepting of what you do, I'm not going to pretend that they were but not a single one of them would think that you compare to Ronald Taylor."

Shepard slid her arms around his neck and laced her fingers together behind his head. A part of her marveled at the fact that the galaxy's greatest assassin had come to trust her enough to allow her to do that. Shepard smiled as his hands found her waist and pulled her a little closer despite the sweat soaking through her shirt.

"And let's face it; I'm the _great_ Commander Shepard. At the end of the day, my body count is far higher than yours," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Significantly, but we are a part of the Alliance Navy and not a glorified hitman,"_ Jane said.

He chuckled. "Indeed."

She gave him a quick kiss and pulled away. "I better get going. I've got to shower and get groundside."

Thane fell into step next to Shepard as she made her way to the elevator. "Will you … be spending your time with Garrus when you return?"

 _"_ _He means will you make time for him later,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah, I got it. Thanks, Jane but I don't need you to translate for me," Shepard thought.

"Mmm. I've got a report I need to finish for Hackett, and I was hoping to spend some time with you if you're up for it, but yes, I'll likely be spending some time with Garrus as well," Shepard said.

She thought she saw his shoulders relax a fraction as he smiled.

"I would very much like that, Siha," Thane said.

Shepard stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for her cabin. Her finger hovered over the button for the fourth deck as she raised an eyebrow to Thane in question. He nodded his head and she hit the button for the fourth deck as well.

"Just make sure you're ready for guard duty tonight. I need you alert down there," Shepard said.

Thane smirked and his brows twitched in response.

"Yeah, yeah, badass assassin is always alert. I got it." Shepard leaned against the elevator wall. "Trust me, the bruises I have from training with you make that clear."

"Am I too rough with you?" Thane asked.

 _"_ _Please, he already pulls his punches and we've had far, far worse,"_ Jane said.

Shepard mimicked the look he just gave her and he laughed. The elevator door slid open and Thane stepped out, making his way towards port cargo to watch Ronald. The elevator slid closed again and took Shepard up to her cabin. She stripped down as soon as the cabin door slid closed behind her.

"EDI, tell Miranda, Grundan Krul, and Kasumi to be ready to go down in twenty minutes," Shepard said.

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said.

"Thanks, EDI," Shepard said.

"Of course, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard stepped into the bathroom and took a quick shower before getting dressed and suiting up. She checked all of her weapons and made her way to the hangar. The shuttle had already been stocked with rations and water, as well as extra medical supplies. Her team arrived a couple of minutes after her and once they were all in the shuttle they left the Normandy for Aeia.

"EDI, patch me through to the ground team," Shepard said.

A moment later Shepard heard the click in her earpiece telling her she was connected to the ground team's comms. "This is Shepard. We're on our way down. Any trouble down there?"

"Hey, Alliance. Not really, this shit is boring as hell. Had a few of the men try some territorial bullshit over one of the supply crates. I floated one and Garrus put another on his ass with a concussive shot, the rest scattered," Jack responded.

"Any more stragglers come in?" Shepard asked.

"Shit Shepard, I'm not keeping a damn count," Jack said.

"Well, where's Garrus?" Shepard asked.

"I'm here, Shepard. Sorry, I had my hands full helping Mordin. Three more have come in on this shift. They're all starting to get restless though. I don't think they understand why we aren't just taking them away on the Normandy," Garrus said.

"Alright. Thanks for the update. See you on the ground," Shepard said.

"No problem, Shepard. See you soon," Garrus said.

When the shuttle landed next to the other, Shepard's eyes went to the ridges above as they climbed out of the shuttle. She could feel the eyes on her, even if she couldn't pick out the faces amidst the trees. She caught movement from above once or twice on the way up to the camp but the hunters that watched her remained hidden.

They were welcomed into the camp by several of the female survivors who avoided Grundan Krul with wary looks even while pushing to surround the humans in the group. Shepard stood firm by Grundan Krul's side, trying to make it clear that he was with her and safe for them to be around. Garrus spotted them and gently pushed through the crowd of women to get to Shepard.

"Jacob and I got most of what was salvageable moved down from the second camp while most of them slept. Those two over there have been awake since I got here; they seem to be trying to help guard the place. I'm not sure if they're expecting company or if they've just decided the camp belongs to them now." Garrus pointed at two men pacing the perimeter of the camp.

"I'll keep an eye on them. Where's Jacob?" Shepard asked glancing around the camp.

"He's up at the second camp, digging through his father's logs. It's not good, Shepard," Garrus said.

 _"_ _He's just looking for answers. Wouldn't you be doing the same thing if you were in his shoes?"_ Jane asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, I would," Shepard thought.

Shepard nodded. "I'm going to go talk to him. I'm sending him back to the Normandy with you." Shepard turned to look at Miranda. "Go ahead and have Mordin brief you so you can take over. Kasumi, Grundan Krul, pick a spot and keep your eyes open. Remember, you don't eat or drink anything we didn't bring with us."

Shepard left them to their tasks and made her way up the trail. Someone had moved the bodies of the hunters from the previous day's battles. They had been cleared from the paths and laid out in rows off to the side, their eyes closed and their hands folded over their stomachs. Shepard had a feeling it was Jacob's idea, he might have even done it all himself. She saw Jacob off in the distance, sitting on a crate looking at a datapad in his hand. When she got close enough she rapped her armored knuckles against a crate to draw his attention.

Jacob looked up at the sound and put the datapad down before slipping down from the crate. When Shepard reached him she studied his eyes and frowned. They were bloodshot with exhaustion and the ghosts his father left to haunt him.

 _"_ _He looks like shit,"_ Jane said.

"Commander," Jacob said before turning to point at the crates around him, "These are all spoiled. Those over there have a few supplies that might be of use at the camp; tarps, rope, that kind of thing –."

"Jacob, you need to go back to the Normandy now," Shepard said. "I can handle the crates."

"I'm OK, Commander, really. I just –," Jacob said.

Shepard put her hand on his shoulder. "It's not a request, Jacob. You're going to go back up to the Normandy, you're going to eat some hot crap that Gardner fixes you, you're going to take a shower, and then you're going to sleep for at least six hours before I let you come down here again."

Jacob dropped his head and Shepard saw his jaw clench. He wanted to argue, but when it came down to it, Jacob was a good soldier who wouldn't argue with his CO. He nodded his head and looked back up at her.

"Yes, ma'am," Jacob said with a salute.

"Good, now that that's out of the way … I'm sorry, Jacob. Gods, I'm so sorry," Shepard said.

Jacob looked around him with vacant eyes, not really seeing anything. "I just don't get it, Shepard. I'm trying to understand but I just can't. It's sickening, what he did here."

"There aren't any good answers for this. I wish there were, but there aren't and nothing you find in those logs is going to suddenly make all of this make sense," Shepard said.

"I know. I guess I'm just hoping that I'll find something, some indication that he knew what he was doing was wrong. Or maybe he cracked, you know? Maybe he's got a mental illness or … something. Damn." Jacob looked at her with pleading eyes, begging her to understand.

 _"_ _I think he wants you to give him the answer,"_ Jane said.

"There is no answer. The man is a repulsive piece of shit," Shepard thought.

Shepard turned standing side by side to him and put her hand on his upper back. She patted him a couple of times and nodded her head.

"Maybe he does. Come on, the others are waiting for you," Shepard said.

Jacob walked with Shepard back towards the camp, keeping his eyes resolutely away from the corpses that lined their path. Shepard left her hand on his back, guiding him forward.

"Garrus said you've got a guard rotation on him," Jacob said.

"Yeah, he's in the port cargo. Thane's watching him now. I imagine Grunt's in there too, but probably asleep," Shepard said. "He's not going anywhere."

"I don't want to see him again, Shepard. I know that you need to keep the rotation, and I don't want to put anyone out but …" Jacob said.

"I had no intention of putting you in there with him," Shepard said.

"Good. Thank you," Jacob said. "I'm afraid of what I might do to him, Shepard."

She patted his back again. "I know."

 _"_ _What might we do if we see him again?"_ Jane asked.

"We won't do anything," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Are you sure? You want to beat him to death, squeeze the life from him with your hands. I can see it, don't pretend it's not there,"_ Jane said.

"I'm not pretending it isn't there, but it doesn't mean we're going to act on it. We're giving him over to the Alliance," Shepard thought.

Shepard escorted Jacob over to where the others waited and watched as they headed back to the shuttles. When they rounded a corner and disappeared from her sight she turned back to the camp. The men and women who called this place home for the last ten years were looking significantly better than they were the day before. Minor wounds had been cleaned and wrapped. Larger wounds cleaned, treated with Medi-gel as necessary and wrapped. The men women were becoming more trustful of the hunters' presence and Shepard could see them working together to survive the whole mess. An hour into her watch, Shepard got a call from the shuttle.

"Shuttle One to ground team, do you read me?" The voice of Crewman Jenny Goldstein sounded panicked as it cut through Shepard's comms.

"We read you, Shuttle One. This is Commander Shepard, what's going on?" Shepard asked.

"There are men with weapons trying to get into the shuttle, ma'am," Jenny said. "They're all around; if I start the shuttle the ones in the back will be burned by the shuttle's boosters."

"Alright, lock the shuttle down. We're on our way," Shepard said.

"Yes ma'am," Jenny said.

"Kasumi, stay here. Grundan Krul, with me," Shepard said into her comm.

Grundan Krul ran across the camp to Shepard's side. Kasumi and Miranda watched from their locations, frowns etched into their faces. They didn't like her going off without full back up but she wasn't going to leave the camp undefended. Shepard tapped her comm again.

"I need you guys at the camp. We've got this," Shepard said.

Shepard watched as the two women nodded to her in acknowledgment before she headed out of the camp. A few feet outside she drew her pistol and checked the thermal clips; Grundan Krul wordlessly did the same. They jogged down the path, stopping at the bend to peer around the corner of the outcrop. The shuttle was surrounded by hunters; Shepard counted five in her line of sight. There were likely more on the other side. They were trying to get into the shuttle, banging and pulling at the doors. Two of them had climbed on top and were firing down at the shuttle's roof, their weapons inferior and out of date by ten years did nothing to the shuttle's more advanced shielding.

"Drop your weapons and step away from the shuttle. We are here to help you, but if you persist, I will shoot," Shepard yelled at the group of men.

One of the men on the roof of the shuttle turned his gun on Shepard and fired. She ducked behind the outcropping but needn't have bothered because his shot hit the rock about three feet away from where she was. Shepard growled in frustration.

 _"_ _You didn't really expect that to work, did you?"_ Jane asked.

"Alliance medical transport is on their way, they will be here to take you all off of this planet tomorrow. Drop your weapons and come to the camp peacefully. There's no reason for you to die here," Shepard yelled.

"Liar! You come to take his place. You … steal the food. The … the guns! We won't let you." The man who took the shot at her tried to take aim again.

Shepard didn't hesitate; she aimed for his leg and pulled the trigger. He screamed in agony as his leg buckled. He dropped to his knees on the shuttle roof, his pistol skittering across the surface before sliding off and hitting the ground. Immediately, more bullets flooded her location forcing her back into cover.

"Don't shoot to kill if you can help it," she told Grundan Krul.

He nodded his head before returning fire. The fight didn't last long; the hunters were ill equipped and any training they might have had before was now lost to the neural decay. Shepard could have handled them on her own if she had needed to. She thought anyone on her team probably could have handled them alone if needed, even Lia had gotten in enough training that as long as they hadn't swarmed her, she could have handled the group of men.

When the last man fell, Shepard tapped her mic. "Shuttle One, this is Commander Shepard, do you read?"

Jenny's shaky voice responded, "Shuttle One reads."

"You alright in there, Jenny?" Shepard asked.

"You – yes ma'am. They weren't able to breech the shuttle, and external damage appears minimal. The shuttle will be safe to return when you're ready, ma'am," Jenny said.

"That's good to hear. I'm going to get the wounded back to the camp and then we'll take care of the dead. Let us know if you have any more problems," Shepard said.

"Yes ma'am," Jenny said.

Shepard and Grundan Krul secured the wounded; those that could walk were made to walk in front of them back to the camp where they were watched over by Kasumi while Miranda tended to their wounds. Those that couldn't walk were carried back on makeshift stretchers. When all was said and done, there were eight more unwilling additions to the camp and three more bodies to be lain out with the others.

The men who had been at the camp since the day before pushed in around the new hunters, acting aggressively and using intimidating posturing in a territorial display that made Shepard nervous. She assumed that this meant that not all of the exiled crew had banded together, but formed factions amongst themselves and these groups were rivals. The two men who had been acting as guards refused to leave their self-imposed posts but watched the new group with an intensity that forewarned of trouble.

"Shit," Shepard said. "We've got to get them separate and keep them apart."

 _"_ _How are you going to keep them apart in this little camp? It's not even fortified. There's hardly any shelter. You could move some of them up to Taylor's camp, but then you'd have to separate the team,"_ Jane said.

Grundan Krul helped Shepard with crowd control, pushing and coaxing the first group away from the injured second group. The women huddled together as the men pushed against Shepard and Grundan Krul, testing the seriousness of Shepard's warnings. Shepard drew her pistol and fired it into the ground at one of the more aggressive man's feet. He snarled at her but backed away, the others followed him.

"EDI, we're going to need a couple of extra guards down here. Things just got a little more complicated at the camp. Send me Legion and Lia," Shepard said into her mic. "Recall the shuttle once they've landed and removed Lia's supplies."

 _"_ _You're not going to put Legion and Lia at Taylor's camp with these men, are you? Lia isn't ready for that and Legion won't be able to differentiate between posturing and real threat,"_ Jane said.

"At once, Shepard," EDI replied.

"No, I'm not sending anyone to the second camp. We just need more people down here now. We'll figure something out," Shepard thought.

"Shuttle One, do you read?" Shepard said.

"Shuttle One reads," Jenny said.

"I'm having more guards sent to the ground. When the second shuttle lands, let them move supplies from Shuttle Two to Shuttle One and then lock the shuttle back down. Shuttle Two won't be staying," Shepard said.

"Yes ma'am," Jenny said.

Shepard, Grundan Krul, and Kasumi stood between the two groups marking the invisible line she had forbidden the other group to cross. For the time being, the second group of hunters were injured and in no condition to defend themselves let alone provoke further aggression but soon they would be back on their feet and Shepard needed expectations made clear and order enforced before then. Her tension eased when Legion and Lia arrived.

Shepard didn't know if the immediate response to Legion's presence was recognition of what exactly Legion was, or simply the ingrained wariness the hunters had developed from Ronald's mechs. Either way, he definitely gave the hunters pause and most of the women as well. Lia looked around, taking in the conditions and shook her head softly. With Legion and Lia there to help hold the line, Shepard made her way back to Ronald's camp to dig through the supplies crate Jacob had pointed out earlier.

 _"_ _Marking boundaries? Do you think that level of symbolism will mean anything to them in their current mental state?"_ Jane asked.

"Worth a try," Shepard muttered.

She returned dragging ropes and tarps with her to string up through the camp to build a partition. She hoped that maybe with clearly defined boundaries, even if they were insubstantial, the two groups might settle down. Legion helped her to string up the tarps and moved a few crates for her to help secure the boundaries.

The day passed in waves of tension. As more and more of the injured hunters got back on their feet and were moving around, they tested Shepard's resolve to keep them in the camp. When they realized that they weren't actually being held prisoner, and she would let them slip away if they really wanted to, all but two chose to stay. A few scuffles broke out but they were easily resolved by the looming presence of Legion, Shepard, or Grundan Krul.

Mordin had set up a way to distill the ocean water and fresh water was made readily available to them. The remaining food stores were rationed out, feeding all of the survivors equally. There was more than enough left for them to make it through the next few days if help was delayed without them needing to resort to eating the local food sources.

As the sun rose higher in the sky, Shepard hunkered down in a place of shade and let her mind drift. The women of the group had taken to the softer, more feminine natures present in Kasumi and Lia, something Shepard almost all together lacked. She watched as Kasumi ran her gloved fingers through a woman's hair before twisting it into a braid. The woman beamed at Kasumi with that childlike innocence that the neural decay had caused in them, and that Ronald and his officers took advantage of.

It wasn't long before one of the women came to sit with Shepard. She was the one who had given Jacob the datapad the day before, and a thousand times before in Shepard's memories. Shepard smiled as she settled down onto the crate next to her.

"What will happen … to us?" she asked.

"The Alliance will take you all someplace safe, I'm not sure where. Earth maybe? You'll receive medical treatment. They'll see if they can find a way to fix the neural decay. Your relatives will be notified, and if you're healthy enough, you'll go home to your families," Shepard said.

"I can't – I can't remember family." The woman glanced down at her empty hands as if they would hold the answers for her.

"That's OK. The Alliance will have the logs from the Gernsback, they'll be able to identify all of you and they can use that to see if there is anyone they should contact for you," Shepard said.

"I am afraid. I want to … go back to the sky … to home but I am different now. I can't … I was smart. Important. Now it's all … gone." The woman sobbed next to Shepard and tears started streaming down her face.

 _"_ _Damn him. I hope they throw him in the worst prison we've got,"_ Jane said.

"Hey, hey, don't give up hope now. You know how strong you are? You survived ten years in this mess. Help is finally here, you'll get through this. I don't know what's in store for you but I know that it takes a hell of a lot of strength to endure what you've endured, and I know that if you put that same strength into getting better, you will," Shepard said.

The woman sniffled and looked at Shepard with hope.

"I don't know if things will ever be the same as they were before, but you have a chance at a real life again. Don't be afraid. Be excited," Shepard said.

She wiped at her eyes and smiled at Shepard before nodding her head resolutely. Shepard's omni-tool beeped at her and she pushed a button to turn the alarm off. Her team's eight-hour shift was up.

"It's time for a shift change. We've got to go back to our ship, but some others will be down here before we leave. The Alliance ships should be here sometime tomorrow," Shepard said.

"What is your name?" The woman stood up when Shepard did, her voice sounded urgent as she spoke.

Shepard smiled and said, "Commander Shepard. You can just call me Shepard. That over there is Miranda. That one is Kasumi, and next to her is Lia. That's Grundan Krul, and that is Legion."

Shepard had introduced herself to everyone the day before, and had already had to remind several people who she was as the day wore on. The survivors would forget who she was and why she was there, some would come running up to her excitedly as if seeing her for the first time and ask if she had come from the sky. It was the third time she had told the woman her name today. It was heartbreaking.

"Shepard." She seemed to test the name, rolling it around on her tongue. "I can't remember my name."

"I know. I'm sorry. When the Alliance comes, they'll help you remember your name," Shepard said.

Shepard left the woman standing next to the crates as she whispered Shepard's name over and over to herself in an attempt to make it stick. She had done the same thing earlier as well. Shepard called EDI and asked EDI to send down the next team. Dr. Chakwas would replace Miranda, and Samara, Grunt, and Jacob would replace her team. EDI assured Shepard that Jacob had followed her orders; returning to the ship to eat, shower, and sleep. Jacob had asked EDI to wake him exactly six hours after he fell asleep, he wasn't willing to miss a minute more. Legion agreed to stay behind to give additional support since he did not require food or rest. He would return after the next shift. Mordin, Thane, Jack, Zaeed, and Garrus would take the night watch. She wouldn't force Jacob to return to the Normandy again until morning, if he didn't decide on his own to return at the end of the next shift.

When the shuttle arrived, Shepard filled the replacements in on the day's activities explaining the need to keep the two groups of hunters separate. Dr. Chakwas frowned at the idea, but said she understood the necessity. Jacob definitely didn't look like he was at the top of his game, but Shepard kept her thoughts to herself. He had been gone long enough that some of the women and hunters had forgotten who he was, and responded to him just as they had when they arrived the day before. Fearful of the resemblance he held to his father, they shied away from him or acted aggressively. Shepard stayed long enough to get the new team settled in and tried to help the women and hunters remember who Jacob was, when that failed, she simply told them that he wasn't Ronald Taylor and he was there to help.

Shepard made her way back to the shuttle, hoping that they would accept Jacob and it wouldn't lead to an incident. They all knew that it was their duty to protect the survivors, even from each other, but priority stood with their own lives and safety no matter what. If things got ugly, Shepard knew she very well may get a call telling her that they'd lost half the survivors. Still, Jacob needed this and she wouldn't deny him.

They piled into Shuttle One where Jenny smiled back at Shepard. Shepard thought it kind of odd, because she had always been one of the crewmen who did their best to avoid Shepard. Maybe Shepard coming to her rescue earlier had sparked some warmth from the other woman. Shepard returned the smile and nodded, telling Jenny they were ready to go. The shuttle took off and Shepard leaned her head against the shuttle wall, glad to be off of Aeia for the time being.

When the shuttle arrived at the Normandy, Shepard waited around for Jenny to go through the shutdown process and exit the shuttle.

"You handled yourself well out there today, Crewman Goldstein," Shepard said.

"Thank you, Commander. I – I didn't think you even knew my name," Jenny said.

"Of course I know your name. I know everyone's name on my ship, it's important to me and it helps me do my job," Shepard said.

"I just – we all know that you hate Cerberus, and we just assumed …" Jenny said.

 _"_ _That's an understatement,"_ Jane said.

"That it means I hate all of you as well?" Shepard supplied the rest of the young woman's statement.

"Yes ma'am," Jenny said.

 _"_ _That doesn't even make sense. They see us working with Jacob and Miranda. We talk to Kelley daily, even if it just is to get updates. We're friendly with Gardner … why would they think it means we hate them just because they're Cerberus?"_ Jane asked.

"To be fair, I haven't gone out of my way to convince them I'm their friend," Shepard thought.

"I don't know any of you enough to hate you. Most of you get quiet when I'm around, some of you give me wary looks, but you put up that wall. I'm not going to try to bulldoze that wall; it isn't my job to make you guys like me. It's my job to make sure that you respect me and follow orders," Shepard said. "If you guys get tired of that wall being there, well, knock the damn thing down."

"Of course. Yes ma'am, thank you, ma'am," Jenny said.

Shepard did her best not to cringe at the excessive use of the word 'ma'am' and smiled at the shuttle pilot before heading to the elevator. She took the elevator up to her cabin and happily ditched her armor before going down to the mess hall. She had barely sat down when she was joined by Miranda. Shepard smiled but saw the serious look on Miranda's face and groaned.

"What is it?" Shepard asked.

"Commander, you didn't come by my office after yesterday's … incident before going to Aeia and since then we have all been preoccupied. I think it would be best if you were to come to my office for scans once you've eaten," Miranda said.

 _"_ _What kind of scans? Is it just scans? She's not going to cut into us, is she?"_ Jane asked.

"Just scans, Jane. Just scans," Shepard thought.

Shepard groaned and heard a chuff from behind her. She looked over her shoulder to see Garrus standing a few feet away, his arms crossed over his chest. He walked closer and looked down at Shepard, flaring his mandibles.

"She'll be there, Miranda, even if I have to drag her in myself," Garrus said.

"Thank you, Garrus. It's good to see that at least someone is being reasonable about this." Miranda stood and made her way to her office.

 _"_ _Traitor. He's supposed to be on our side,"_ Jane said.

"Not cool, Vakarian," Shepard said.

Garrus chuffed again and straddled the bench next to her. "Maybe not, but you'll forgive me."

"What makes you so sure?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _He's Garrus. We'd forgive him anything. I'd forgive him anything … even if he can't forgive me,"_ Jane said.

"Maybe he just needs more time … and for you to not cause any more problems," Shepard thought.

"Hmmm." He leaned in close, and spoke softly, just above a whisper in her ear. "Because I know how to make you see heaven."

 _"_ _I'm only trying to save us all,"_ Jane said.

Shepard snorted and Garrus sat back with an impish grin. "I've got news for you, Vakarian. I can get myself there alllll by myself with just these two little fingers. Only one, really, if I tried."

Shepard heard the familiar sound of Thane clearing his throat from behind her. She scrunched up her face at Garrus.

"He heard all of that, didn't he?" Shepard asked.

Jane laughed. It was a delightful sound to Shepard when it didn't have that maniacal edge.

Garrus smiled at her, his mandibles fluttering. "Join us, Krios. Shepard was just telling me the most fascinating story."

"Ass." Shepard slapped Garrus' armored chest eliciting a throaty chuckle from him.

She looked over her shoulder at Thane and smiled. "Hey, what's up? Sit with us?"

"I was just curious about how things were progressing on Aeia. I was … concerned when you called for reinforcements and EDI was unable to provide me with significant details. We can talk about it later, though, I don't wish to interrupt." Thane started to turn away when Shepard called out to him.

"Stay, Thane. Have a seat. Consider this your first lesson," Shepard said.

 _"_ _You really think this thing with the both of them will work out?"_ Jane asked.

"I really hope so," Shepard thought.

Thane dipped his head and turned back to the table. "Very well, Siha."

"Garrus, stop trying to bait him," Shepard said.

"I'm not trying to bait him, I'm just trying to get him to relax," Garrus said. "Lesson for what?"

"On how to deal with an ornery turian," Shepard said.

Thane settled into the seat across from Shepard. "He has not offended me."

 _"_ _Not that he would admit it if he had,"_ Jane said.

"Probably not," Shepard thought.

"See? No harm no foul," Garrus said pushing a lock of Shepard's hair behind her ear, "Is that how the saying goes?"

Shepard smiled at the intimate gesture, but couldn't help but notice that Thane glanced away. It would definitely take time for him to adjust to the idea of watching another man touch someone he was becoming involved with.

"Yeah, that's how it goes," Shepard said. "A group of the feral men attacked the shuttle while we were at the camp. There was no real harm done, their weapons are old and the shuttle was well shielded. When the pilot called, Grundan Krul and I went to deal with the problem. Three died, but eight others were brought back to the camp injured."

Shepard looked at Garrus. "The two that you said were acting as guards?" He nodded in response. "Well, I think this group was the answer to your question. As soon as we brought in the second group, the first group of men started posturing and behaving aggressively toward the second group. I needed the extra hands to make sure the two groups didn't tear into each other."

"Rival tribes, it would seem. Interesting," Thane said.

"And intense. I used some tarps, ropes, and crates to set up some partitions. Of course they are insignificant as a physical barrier, but as I'd hoped, the illusion of boundaries seemed to help. So did Legion's presence," Shepard said. "Things are still a little iffy down there."

"That was wise, Siha, but I would prepare for them to test those boundaries," Thane said.

 _"_ _Obviously,"_ Jane said.

"He's right, with as aggressive as they are, the boundaries will only matter to them until they have a plan to push for more ground," Garrus said.

"They've already pushed a little. Firing at their feet gets their attention pretty well. So does having a geth loom over them with an assault rifle. For now, at least. Hopefully the Alliance won't be delayed and the boundaries don't have to last long," Shepard said.

"Indeed," said Thane.

Garrus turned, pulling his other leg in over the bench seat and faced Thane. "So, what is that? Siha? You've been calling her that since Kahje but I don't know what it means." He glanced at Shepard.

"Ah. I am surprised she hasn't told you," Thane said.

"I haven't asked until now. I assumed it was something personal, but I'm curious," Garrus said.

"I will allow her to explain, if she wishes," Thane said gesturing to Shepard.

Shepard closed her eyes, at her bidding the memories of conversations from other lifetimes floated to the surface of her mind, a smile tugged at her lips. "One of the warrior-angels of the goddess Arashu. Fierce in wrath. A tenacious protector."

She opened her eyes to see Thane gazing at her, a soft smile spread across his lips.

"Those were my words, were they not?" Thane asked.

 _"_ _Exact words,"_ Jane said.

She grinned. "They were."

Garrus nodded his head, the movement drawing Shepard's attention. "Yeah, I can definitely see that. Siha. Hmmm. It's fitting. I think I'll stick with Dawn. And Shepard, of course."

Shepard chuckled, turning her eyes back to Thane even as she spoke to Garrus. "Good idea. From anyone else's mouth, it just isn't the same."

Thane smirked and she winked at him. She turned back to Garrus who fluttered his mandibles and grinned.

"Hmmm. Well, maybe if I leave you can get him to whisper it in your ear." Shepard snorted and smacked his shoulder making him laugh. "I've got some things I want to run by Grundan Krul. Am I on night shift again?"

"Mmm, yeah. You, Thane, Jack and Zaeed with Mordin for doctor. I apparently have to go endure Miranda's torture and then finish that report for Hackett since _someone_ insisted that it could wait," Shepard said.

"I didn't hear any complaints last night," Garrus said turning sideways on the bench again.

"You don't hear any now," Shepard said. "It was totally worth it even if I'm not looking forward to finishing it today."

Garrus laughed, tracing the line of her jaw with a gloved talon and using it to guide her to him. He kissed her and stood up from the bench, looking down at her.

"Save some time for me tonight?" Garrus asked.

"Of course," Shepard and Jane said in sync.

Shepard watched as Garrus made his way up the stairs that led to the main battery before turning her attention to Thane.

"You don't have to be comfortable with it all right away, that's OK. If you're willing to give it time, though, it'll get easier for you I think," Shepard said. "I hope."

"There are some … conflicting thoughts. It's nothing that I can't manage." Thane waved his hand out from him, dismissing the notion.

"Maybe we can talk about some of those thoughts later? You could come to my cabin when I'm done with the report," Shepard suggested.

"If you wish, Siha," Thane said.

Shepard stood from the bench and walked around to the other side of the table. He watched her as she moved, until she settled onto the bench next to him facing the opposite direction.

"Is it what you wish?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _You know that it is,"_ Jane said.

Thane smiled at her before propping his elbows on the table and clasping his hands in front of his face. "Indeed."

"I do, but I like hearing him say it," Shepard thought.

"Good. Then I'll have EDI let you know when I'm done," Shepard said.

Shepard stood and put a hand on Thane's shoulder, letting her fingertips drag across his back as she walked away. She felt a deep rumble though his back and she smiled. She walked into Miranda's office, resigned to her fate. Miranda stood from her desk and crossed over to Shepard, opening her omni-tool with a smile as she went.

Miranda moved Shepard to the center of the room and made her stand perfectly still with her legs shoulder width apart and her arms out at her sides. Shepard endured in silence, knowing that if she spoke or squirmed, Miranda would make her start over from the beginning. Instead, she let her mind wander the way she did back in N7 training when they forced her to stand at attention for hours at a time in the pouring rain or do countless squats until she literally couldn't even feel her legs anymore. At least she only had to do this for forty minutes or so.

She found it amusing that Thane thought she needed to learn to endure suffering. Shepard knew all about enduring suffering. Every N7 soldier did. She was trained to endure torture, both through life and through training. Still, this thing with Jane was something new. Something she'd never been prepared for. Something that no amount of training could have ever prepared her for. Shepard was enduring, though. Even with less grace. She figured that just about anyone else would have cracked completely dealing with Jane. Hell, she thought she nearly had a time or two. But on days like this when Jane was agreeable and rational she almost enjoyed having here there. Still, she looked forward to training with Thane. She had no doubts that the assassin had more than a few things he could teach her, and her anticipation was growing at the newest phase of her training he had suggested.

When Miranda was finally finished, Shepard dropped her hands to her sides and rolled her head on her neck trying to stretch out the tight muscles. Unsurprisingly, Miranda didn't tell her anything new, only looked over the scans and waved Shepard away when Shepard asked if she was done. She made her way to the elevator and took it up to her cabin before collapsing in her desk chair. With a sigh, she opened the laptop and got to work.

In her report she detailed everything she could about Aeia, including the events upon arrival and what actions had been taken to date since. When she was finished an hour and a half later, she reread the report to be sure she hadn't forgotten anything and satisfied she sent it to Hackett. Shepard stood from her desk and stretched, her neck popped half a dozen times when she rolled her head around on her shoulders. The muscles in her neck and shoulders remained stubbornly stiff.

"EDI, will you tell Thane I'm ready for him, please?" Shepard said.

A moment later EDI replied, "Mr. Krios is on his way, Shepard."

"Thanks," Shepard said.

"You're welcome, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard went down to the couch to wait. A moment later she heard her door slide open and turned to look at the stairs. Thane appeared a few seconds later bringing a smile to her face. He came to sit on the couch next to her and she turned sideways so she could better see him. She rolled her head again trying to ease the tension in her neck.

"So," she said once they were both settled, "tell me about these conflicting thoughts."

Thane seemed to consider the request, he stared off at the wall across the room his gaze becoming unfocused. Shepard knew that he was remembering something, playing it through his mind. Whatever it was, he held the memory loosely, keeping himself from slipping fully into the memory and relieving it out loud. Shepard waited quietly while he worked through his thoughts.

"I spent much time away from Irikah while she was still alive. I assumed she took lovers from time to time in my absence. We never spoke of these things, it seemed … irrelevant. The body has needs, desires and if I was not there to fulfill hers it only seemed natural that she would find them somewhere else. Her soul … her heart, belonged to me and me alone. Never would she take another to her bed if I was available to her," Thane said.

 _"_ _I had no idea, he never said. I suppose that's a reasonable expectation, though. Isn't it what the wives and husbands of those in the Alliance do when their spouses are away?"_ Jane asked. _"I guess I just never thought that Irikah would … He always made her sound so … perfect."_

"She was perfect, for him, for a time at least. Or perhaps it's just the way he cherishes her memory now that she is gone forever. Humans do that, too. Forget the bad and immortalize the good of someone that was close to us when they've died," Shepard thought.

Thane fell silent again; his eyes moving back and forth seeing something that only existed there for him. "The hanar trained me from the age of six, and through that training I have learned to … ignore and endure the discomforts of the flesh when they did not aid in the taking of the life of my intended target or saving my own … aware that they exist, but acknowledging them and letting them go. Rarely did I indulge the whims of my body outside of my wedding bed, and even then it was a weapon, a way to get closer to my target."

 _"_ _Oh."_ Jane's shock mirrored Shepard's.

Shepard's eyebrow twitched. This wasn't something that she knew about Thane. It wasn't territory that they had ever delved too deeply into. She schooled her features, forcing her mask of indifference, the one she so often wore as Commander, firmly into place. Normally, Thane would have caught even the faintest twitch of her brow, but she thought that perhaps while in his reverie he might have missed it.

"They were … unimportant, insignificant. My heart belonged to Irikah and Irikah alone." Thane looked back at Shepard and her mask of neutrality. "After Irikah was killed, I returned to my battle sleep … I have explained this to you?"

Shepard nodded.

"For a time, I did not have want for a lover. My body sought no release. Eventually, in time, when I found myself around other drell I would find another desirable and seek her out for a night. Mostly women like those you spent time with on Kahje; those who would not mourn my absence when the sun rose and I was already gone. The Unwed," Thane said.

Jane seemed to squirm uncomfortably in Shepard's mind but said nothing. Shepard allowed herself a small smile at the memory of her time spent with the drell women on Kahje. Of course, now she couldn't help but to wonder if Thane had slept with any of them. She thought about it and decided that if he had, they would have known him and been excited to share that experience with her upon seeing his face again.

"They were kind women, understanding that the night was all I had to offer them. I was … grateful for the gifts they gave me. Their memories sustained me on the nights that loneliness would creep in and I couldn't bear the thought of being left with Irikah's memory alone." Thane trailed off for a moment. "When you first found me on the Citadel, you sparked something in me. You woke a part of me up that I thought forever lost. As I told you on Kahje, trying to unravel the mystery gave me purpose. Learning about you, I came to admire you even before I realized it myself."

 _"_ _Why is he telling us all of this?"_ Jane asked.

"Because he wants me to understand what he's feeling. Where it comes from," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _He's never told us all of this before, and he wanted some of us to understand his feelings then,"_ Jane said.

"The circumstances are different, and he's changed," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _They've all changed. Haven't they? You … you've changed them all,"_ Jane said.

"I think so … but is that so bad, really?" Shepard thought.

Thane shifted on the cushion, angling his body more towards hers and smirked. "When I first joined you on the Normandy, I confess, I considered the idea of seeing if you would indeed allow yourself to be lured to my bed. I told myself that it was merely curiosity, brought on by the years spent looking into you. Perhaps it was the novel idea of being with a human. I found many reasons to deter myself from that course of action, yet still I found myself dancing around the edges, testing your limits. Pleased by your reactions. It was unfair of me."

"I did nothing to dissuade you," Shepard said.

 _"_ _I – I don't know,"_ Jane said.

Shepard felt Jane retreat to the edges of her consciousness. Still present, still listening, but no longer an active participant in the conversation, Jane mulled over her own thoughts keeping them private from Shepard. Shepard envied her that, being able to keep her thoughts private.

"Indeed. After Kahje, I realized that I had misunderstood … no that is not accurate, I had chosen not to see. I was foolish, convincing myself that it was not you that felt something for me … and that I felt nothing for you. I had already come to care for you, Siha." Thane reached out and stroked his fingers along Shepard's cheek.

She let her eyes drop closed and smiled at the contact, pressing her lips against his palm.

"I didn't sleep that night. The memories of you wouldn't allow me; they tore through my mind unbidden and unwelcome forcing me to see them in the light of truth. I was in a state of tu-fira, something I had not experienced since I lost Irikah," Thane said. "I found myself at a loss; unsure of how to proceed or even if I should … if I could. I didn't know if I was able to allow myself to have something more with you than I had dared to imagine before … especially while you loved another as well."

"I have had moments of … envy watching you with Garrus, such a strange feeling for me. I at last came to realize that it was not Garrus standing in my way, but myself. I decided I had to try, if you would have me even after I had treated you so callously." Thane wrapped his arm around Shepard when she tucked herself in against his chest.

"It has not been … pleasant, seeing the ease with which he touches you and brings a smile to your face. Yet I enjoy seeing it there," Thane said. "I do not know what is appropriate in these situations … whether if I were to wrap my arms around you would it bring you discomfort or a smile. Whether it would upset him, and cause conflict within you. I do not know if I should be cautious around the rest of the crew. I am at a disadvantage with this, Siha."

Shepard held Thane's hand in her own, splaying her fingers out beneath his palm and watching the light reflect off the soft sheen of his scales. "You're not at as much of a disadvantage as you think. Before Garrus, I didn't get involved in serious relationships. Not really. I didn't have time, and Alliance regulations stood in the way of my getting too close to anyone under my command. So, I had my fair share of one night stands myself. Had a few casual relationships but that was about it. I mean yeah, I'd been in love … had my heart broken but nothing like this."

Shepard tilted her head back to look up at him. "I don't have all of the answers. I don't know that they even exist. I just know that I want to be with you, _and_ I want to be with Garrus. I think that as long as we're honest about what we're feeling, and we're patient with one another, things will fall into place."

"Indeed." Thane freed his hand from hers so that he could trace the curve of her lip with his thumb.

"I know that I don't want you to have to think twice about showing me affection when we're around Garrus. And you're not some dirty secret I'm trying to hide from everyone else." Shepard smiled and sat back up so she could look him in the eye without straining her stiff neck. "But it's important that you let me know what you're comfortable with. What you want. I'm kinda relying on you to set the pace with this."

He sat forward and cradled her head in his palm, pulling her closer he pressed his lips to hers. Shepard leaned into the kiss, tasting his lips with her tongue. Shepard whimpered when Thane pulled back, making him chuckle in response.

"You are tense, allow me." Thane stood, taking her hand in his own he coaxed her to her feet and turned her around so her back was to him.

"It's not that bad, really. I'll have it stretched out in an hour or so." Shepard stopped protesting when Thane's fingers started to dig into the knotted muscles along her neck and shoulders.

She bit back a hiss at the initial shock of pain, fighting the urge to tense further in response. Thane dug a little deeper and Shepard groaned. He guided her to the edge of the bed; Shepard sat down and pulled her boots off, tossing them to the corner of the room. Thane pulled her back to her feet and slid his hands under the edge of her shirt. Shepard's breath hitched at the feel of his skin brushing across hers as he slid her shirt up. She lifted her arms and let him pull the shirt over her head.

Thane dropped her shirt on the nightstand as his eyes roamed over her exposed flesh and lace rimmed black bra. He made a rumbling sound of approval deep in his throat and a slow smile spread across Shepard's face. He slid his fingertips down her arm, from shoulder to wrist before taking her hand in his and using it to turn her toward the bed.

"Lay down, Siha," Thane said.

Shepard crawled on the bed and lay on her stomach, turning her head to the side to watch him as he slid his jacket off, folded it and set it on the night stand to join her shirt. Thane put one knee on the mattress, next to her using it to help support his weight as he leaned over her body. He brushed her hair aside and traced his fingers over the phoenix on her back before using his strong, nimble hands to dig into her knotted muscles once more.

Shepard moaned in bliss once her muscles began to relax. She closed her eyes and lost herself to the feel of Thane's hands moving over her body, washing the tension away. He moved from her neck and shoulders, following the line of her spine he worked from the inside out. His fingers wrapped around her hips as his thumbs worked in small circles at the curve of her back.

Shepard opened her eyes when his movements began to slow, became less massage and more caress. Shepard turned, pushing herself up on an elbow to look at him. She saw the heat in his gaze when his eyes met hers. She rolled over, his hands brushing across her side and stomach as she turned. Shepard kept herself propped on one elbow as she ran her hand over his and up the side of his arm, reveling in the feel the dense muscle beneath her fingertips. She tugged gently at him, and he leaned forward capturing her lips with his own.

Desire coursed through Shepard's veins. She could feel it in him, too. In the hungry way his teeth scraped over her lip and his tongue danced with her own. After a moment, Thane pulled away and rested his head against hers. His fingers still kneaded at her neck as if unconvinced by his attempts to show restraint. He cleared his throat.

"Forgive me, I must spend time in meditation and prayer before it is time to go to Aeia," Thane said.

Shepard didn't speak, afraid that if she opened her mouth it would only be to beg him to stay. Instead she squeezed her eyes closed, took a deep breath and nodded. Thane slipped away from her and she sat up, putting her feet on the floor. She watched him as he slid his jacket back on and handed her shirt to her. She kept her eyes resolutely focused above his waist, knowing that she'd cave if she saw further sign of his arousal and beg him to stay. Shepard stood and pulled the shirt on over her head, running her hands through her hair to pull it free. He smiled at her and caressed her cheek before giving her one last chaste kiss and leaving her alone.

Shepard looked around her empty cabin and sighed. She put her boots back on and pulled her hair up in a low ponytail before leaving the cabin herself. Shepard made her way down to the port cargo to check in on Ronald. He was sitting on the floor leaning against Grunt's empty tank, a tray with empty dishes sat on the floor in front of him. He held a coffee mug in his hands as he watched Jack warily. Jack sat across the room from him, also on the floor with her back pressed against the door frame. She had her pocket knife out, using it to pick at her fingernails. She looked up at Shepard when the door opened.

"Hey, good you can watch him while I pee." Jack stood and closed the knife against her thigh, slipping it into her pocket.

Shepard nodded and Jack ducked out of the room. Ronald looked up at Shepard as she leaned against the door frame, crossing her arms over her chest.

 _"_ _It would be so easy to kill him and tell the others that he attacked you,"_ Jane said.

"Jane," Shepard thought in warning.

"Don't suppose I can get out of here for a little bit? Walk around the ship, stretch my legs?" Ronald asked.

"You're welcome to stand up and do all the stretching you want in here, but you're not leaving this room unless it's to be escorted to the bathroom and back," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Or you could even just say that he tried to run,"_ Jane said.

"No, Jane. We're giving him to the Alliance unharmed," Shepard thought. "We're having a good day, don't push this."

"I guess you can't blame a man for asking." Ronald took a sip from his coffee. "They call you Commander, and you've got pull with the Alliance … but this isn't an Alliance ship."

"Astute observation, Mr. Taylor," Shepard said.

"So … who are you, then?" Ronald asked.

 _"_ _But if he does try to run or attacks us?"_ Jane asked.

"Then I'll make sure he lives just long enough to regret it," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Good,"_ Jane said.

Shepard smirked. "Oh, I reckon you'll hear all about me soon enough. You've missed a lot Ron, holed up on your little pleasure island."

"What do you mean? What have I missed?" Ronald asked.

Jack walked back into the port cargo and leaned on the wall next to Shepard. "Damn, I was kinda hoping to come back and find you'd decided to cut his balls off."

 _"_ _There's a thought,"_ Jane said.

Shepard chuckled. "You know I wouldn't do something like that without you, Jack."

Ron shifted around uncomfortably and decided to try a different tactic. "How's Jacob? I haven't seen him since you brought me here."

"No," Shepard said.

"No?" Ron asked.

"She means no, asshole. You don't get to ask about Jacob, you don't get to see Jacob. Jacob doesn't want fuck all to do with you, so be glad he didn't kill you, you peace of shit," Jack said.

Shepard could feel Jane's amusement as it mingled with her own.

"Gods I love her," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Yeah."_ It was the masculine voice that spoke that time, as a wave of his love for Jack washed over Shepard.

Shepard smiled.

 _"_ _I use to think she was too abrasive,"_ Jane said. _"But she's definitely grown on me over the years."_

"Sounds about right. You'll be going back down tonight, Jack. I'll have someone relieve you an hour before you start the next shift," Shepard said.

"Yep," Jack said.

Shepard left the port cargo and went up to the main battery. Garrus and Grundan Krul were both focused on the screens in front of them when Shepard walked in. Garrus looked over at her and smiled, waving her to his side. Shepard moved to him and looked down at the screen in front of him. A picture of Councilor Sparatus stared back at her.

"What do you got?" Shepard asked.

"Hmmm. Not much. It's the C-Sec file for Sparatus. There's one for each of the councilors in case something happens to one of them, they get kidnapped or held hostage or something." Garrus tapped a talon on his keyboard, changing the screen. "Mostly just vital statistics, it lists his date of birth, physical description. You get the idea."

"Anything new on The Dissension?" Shepard asked.

Garrus looked past Shepard at Grundan Krul. Shepard turned her head to look at the batarian who looked at her with the same stoic expression she was used to seeing on his face. She looked back to Garrus who had turned his attention back to the screen in front of him, his mandibles pulled in tight against his jaw.

 _"_ _I don't like that look. They've found something we're not going to like,"_ Jane said.

"What? What did you find?" Shepard asked.

It was Grundan Krul who answered, though, bringing his laptop to her and hitting a button on the keyboard.

"They've contacted the media," Grundan Krul said as the vid began to play.

An older male turian in civilian dress sat behind a news desk. His piercing gaze and clipped mandible movements belied the calm tone with which he spoke.

"An anti-human organization has made itself publicly known today. The turian group identifying themselves as 'The Dissension' released a statement declaring war against humanity. It is unclear what actions, if any this group plans to take," the news reporter said.

 _"_ _Damn it,"_ Jane said.

"Fuck," Shepard said.

He paused, his mandibles flaring as he adjusted a datapad on the desk in front of him. "Officials are hesitant to label the group as terrorists until the group has made specific statements of actions they plan to take, or crimes that they commit against humanity have been made known."

 _"_ _What about trying to buy a human Spectre at an illegal auction, or attacking a human Spectre on the Citadel?"_ Jane asked.

"Shh, we need to hear this," Shepard thought.

He clasped his hands in front of him and stared into the camera. "Primarch Fedorian has asked that it be made known that the Turian Hierarchy does not support the views of The Dissension, and no official war has been declared against our human allies. The Primarch has made it clear that any and all actions taken against any human or group of humans in response to this declaration will be considered acts of terrorism and treason." His mandibles flared once before snapping tight against his jaw again. "Anyone found to be taking part in such actions will be tried as such. An investigation into the group is underway. Anyone with any information about this group is asked to contact local law enforcement."

Grundan Krul tapped a button and the vid paused. Shepard looked up at the batarian and she could swear he cringed ever so slightly. Garrus put a hand on her shoulder and Shepard tensed. He didn't remove it though, instead only giving her a squeeze.

 _"_ _This isn't good. We don't need this. We can't deal with this, we've got to take down the collectors and focus on the reapers. We've got to find a way to break this cycle. We don't have time for this shit,"_ Jane said.

"I know, but it's happening nonetheless," Shepard thought.

"It's not as bad as it sounds, Shepard. The Primarch's siding with humans, that will carry a lot of weight with turian civilians," Garrus said.

 _"_ _But it's a call to action for those who agree with The Dissension's views on humanity,"_ Jane said. _"We need to talk to Anderson."_

"When was this broadcast?" Shepard asked.

"About four hours ago," Grundan Krul said.

"I've got to call Anderson, excuse me," Shepard said pulling away from Garrus. "Send me a copy of that!"

Shepard barreled out of the main battery and made a beeline for the elevator. She pushed the elevator call button and grumbled under her breath until it arrived. She took the elevator up to her cabin and went straight to the display case, jamming her finger against the button to turn the glass into a screen.

"EDI, get me Councilor Anderson immediately," Shepard said.

Shepard paced in front of her desk until EDI spoke again. "I am unable to complete the call, Shepard."

"What, why?" Shepard asked.

"The councilor's calls are being forwarded to his messaging system. Would you like to leave a message for the councilor?" EDI asked.

 _"_ _Of course. The Council must be in session over this. They've got to figure out how they're going to deal with this. How they can cover it up and lie to the public about it,"_ Jane said.

"Damn it, yes," Shepard said.

"Recording your message now, Shepard," EDI said.

"Anderson, it's Shepard. I just saw the turian news report. Please get back to me as soon as you can," Shepard said. "End recording."

"Delivering your message, Shepard," EDI said.

"EDI, when he calls back, I don't care where I am or what I'm doing, you forward the call to me right away. Got it?" Shepard asked.

"Of course, Shepard," EDI said. "Is everything alright?"

 _"_ _Not at all,"_ Jane said.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head. "Not really. The Dissension just declared war on humans. The Hierarchy has made it clear that they are not in support of this but there's no way this isn't going to cause problems."

"I see. Is there anything that I can do to help, Shepard?" EDI asked.

Shepard rubbed her forehead. "Yeah, talk to Garrus. Help him and Grundan Krul look for information."

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said.

"Thanks, EDI," Shepard said.

"You are welcome," EDI said.

Shepard smiled at the hologram before it disappeared. She resumed her pacing, unsure of what else to do with herself as her thoughts rushed through her head.

 _"_ _You know what's going to happen next, now that they've declared themselves, don't you?"_ Jane asked.

"Yeah. They're going to start attacking. They won't have the numbers for a full assault, so it'll be smaller things. Bombings maybe? Sabotage?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _They'll go for high profile targets as much as possible,"_ Jane said.

"The highest profile target humanity has is Anderson. Though they could target Alliance officials as well, but Anderson's got to be at the top of that list," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I don't think it gets any higher profile than the resurrected hero slash first human Spectre, Dawn. They've already made a play for us before. What makes you think they won't do it again?"_ Jane said.

"I don't. But I'm more concerned about Anderson," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Of course you are,"_ Jane said. _"I'm concerned about him too … but Dawn, we have to focus on keeping us safe. We have to, it's up to us to stop the reapers,"_ Jane said.

"No, it isn't that simple. We've never done this alone, we always had help. Our team, the other races, the Council in their own fucked up way. Damn it, Anderson leads the resistance on Earth. You can't tell me he isn't important," Shepard thought. "He's fucking Anderson!"

 _"_ _No, of course. That's not what I'm saying. Anderson is important, and he's important to all of us. But Dawn, I can hear what you're thinking. You can't charge into this. You can't make us a bigger target for them,"_ Jane said.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?!" Shepard yelled into the empty room.

"Shepard?" EDI said.

"Yeah, sorry. Talking to Jane," Shepard said.

 _"_ _You're supposed to do your job, Dawn. Let Anderson do his,"_ Jane said. _"We can't save them all. Gods know how hard we've tried."_

"Is there a problem, do you need assistance?" EDI asked.

"No, EDI. We're just talking. I'm alright," Shepard said.

"Very well, Shepard," EDI said.

"You know I can't do that, Jane. I just can't. Not Anderson," Shepard thought. "Could you really stand aside knowing he could be in danger?"

 _"_ _No … What are you going to do?"_ Jane asked.

"I don't know. There's nothing I can do right now. I just need to talk to him. I need to know that he has something in place. An escort, guards. Something," Shepard thought.

Shepard left her cabin and pushed the elevator call button. She wasn't sure where she was going, or why until she found herself slipping into the copilot's chair while Joker closed the shutters.

"You look like hell, Commander. What's up?" Joker asked.

Shepard heaved a heavy sigh and turned to Joker. "We've got a problem. A big fucking problem."

"Why don't you ever bring me good news?" Joker asked.

 _"_ _What's good news?"_ Jane said.

Shepard scoffed. "If I ever had good news to bring, I would."

"So what's this big problem?" Joker asked.

Shepard opened her omni-tool and pulled up the copy of the news report Grundan Krul forwarded her. She adjusted the volume so it wouldn't carry outside of the cockpit and then went to stand behind Joker's chair. He glanced up at her, his hands still gliding over the controls in front of him.

"I've got something for you to watch," Shepard said.

"It's not human-turian porn is it? Because that's your thing, not mine," Joker said.

 _"_ _Joker!"_ Jane said.

"Joker," Shepard said bumping his shoulder. "This is serious."

Joker raised an eyebrow. "Alright. She's all yours, EDI."

"I am assuming direct control," EDI said.

 _"_ _Oh gods,"_ Jane said.

"EDI," Shepard groaned.

"That was a joke," EDI said.

"Don't think she's laughing, EDI," Joker said trying to hide his smirk from Shepard.

"Oh yeah, it was hilarious. Alright, watch this." Shepard hit play and then leaned over Joker's seat, holding the omni-tool in front of him.

Joker watched the news report in silence. Shepard couldn't see his expression from the angle she was at, but she could see him sit a little straighter and tense up. When it was finished, she closed her omni-tool and sat back down in the copilot's chair.

"Damn," Joker said barely loud enough for Shepard to hear.

"Yeah. I'm thinking their next step is going to be to hit high profile humans," Shepard said.

"They've already tried for you, Commander." Joker glanced over at her, his face radiating anger and concern. "Have you talked to Anderson about this yet?"

 _"_ _He's thinking the same thing. They'll try for us again,"_ Jane said.

"I know," Shepard thought.

"I tried, couldn't get through. EDI left a message for me. He's probably swamped in Council meetings because of this." Shepard turned sideways in the chair and leaned closer to Joker to whisper. "Sparatus was accused by a member of The Dissension that was arrested. Now, that turian is dead and the list of people he accused is missing, too. They think a Spectre is involved and gone rogue. Sparatus is recusing himself from the Council while he's under investigation. He swears he had nothing to do with any of it, and to be fair, I believe him."

"You're shitting me?" Joker asked.

She rubbed her hands over her face. "Joker, I think Anderson is going to be a target. I've got to do something."

"I'm sure he's already considered that, if it makes you feel any better, Commander. He's probably already got guards set up. I'm sure he'll call you back as soon as he can," Joker said.

 _"_ _He's right. Of course Anderson has something in play, he'd cover his own ass,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah." Shepard turned back around in the chair and leaned her head against the seat.

"But if I know you, you're not going to rest until you know that he's safe for sure. And you're not going to believe that he's safe until you're by his side with about fifty guns and a tank," Joker said.

Shepard smiled. "Make that twelve tanks."

"So, are we going to the Citadel after the Alliance picks these people up?" Joker asked.

"I don't know yet. I'd planned on Omega first, it's important to Samara and she at least thinks it's time sensitive. I'll let you know after I talk to Anderson," Shepard said.

Joker grunted in response as he took the controls back from EDI. They fell into a companionable silence above Aiea until EDI told Shepard that Garrus was on his way to her cabin. Shepard got up and gave Joker's shoulder a squeeze. He patted her hand before she walked away.

Garrus paced the cabin when Shepard entered. His eyes shot up to meet hers and he rushed to her to wrap his arms around her.

"What did Anderson say?" Garrus asked.

"I couldn't get through to him. I left a message and I'm waiting to hear back," Shepard said.

Garrus led her to the couch and pulled her down on his lap. Shepard leaned against his chest and let out a sigh.

"We'll get through this, right? Tell me we'll get through this," Shepard said.

 _"_ _We'll get through this,"_ Jane said.

"Thank you," Shepard thought.

"Of course we will. We always do. You're just worked up over it because it's something new. Jane doesn't have the answers for you this time. You've gotten too used to her being able to tell you how things go." Garrus pressed his lips to Shepard's head. "You've forgotten who _you_ are. You don't need her Shepard. You've got this, and I'm right here with you."

 _"_ _I – that's not fair. I'm trying,"_ Jane said. _"This isn't easy. Tell him, Dawn, tell him this isn't easy for me."_

"Let's just give him time, OK? Time and no more problems, right?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Yeah, yeah, OK. Time and no more problems. I'll try,"_ Jane said.

"You seemed pretty upset over it yesterday," Shepard said.

"I've had a little more time to think about it and I know that there's nothing to worry about because we're on this. We aren't leaving this one up to the Council to make a mess of. We'll find a way to fix all of this," Garrus said.

"Gods I hope you're right," Shepard said.

"Of course I'm right," he said.

Shepard stayed curled up on Garrus' lap until EDI alerted her that a call was coming through for her from Anderson. Shepard stood Garrus right behind her as she made her way to the large vid screen in front of her desk. EDI put the call through. Anderson appeared on screen and Shepard saluted. He returned her salute and nodded to Garrus hovering behind Shepard.

"Shepard, I can't talk long. The Council is about to make its official statement in response to the situation. Don't worry, Shepard, we've got this under control," Anderson said.

 _"_ _The Council never has anything under control,"_ Jane said.

"What is the Council's official statement, sir?" Shepard asked.

"I can't divulge that right now, Shepard. I'll send you a report once the statement has been made. In the meantime, its best if you keep yourself focused on stopping this collector threat. I know you, Shepard, and I know that you're going to want to be smack in the middle of this thing with The Dissension but it isn't where you need to be," Anderson said.

 _"_ _But we have to make sure he's OK to do that, right?"_ Jane asked.

"Right," Shepard thought.

"With all due respect, sir, The Dissension has already put me in the middle of this and with their declaration of war, I'm afraid that makes you a target," Shepard said.

"You and every other person who's seen that broadcast. The Council and the Alliance have both slapped around the clock guards on me. It's being covered. Besides, Shepard, I haven't gotten so use to the comforts of this life that I can't still take care of myself. I'll be fine," Anderson said.

 _"_ _So he's going to be OK, we can focus on the collectors,"_ Jane said.

Shepard raked her hands through her hair and started pacing in front of her desk. Garrus took a step back, giving her the room she needed. She stopped to look at Anderson again.

"What is the Alliance's response to this?" Shepard asked.

"The Alliance is awaiting the official response of the Council, but considering Primarch Fedorian's response to the situation, the Alliance is on alert but not taking any official actions as of yet," Anderson said glancing in Garrus' direction.

Shepard followed his gaze. Garrus had his arms crossed over his chest and his mandibles pulled in tight. He met Shepard's gaze and she could almost see the gears turning in his head.

"Shepard." Anderson pulled Shepard's attention back to him. "Stay focused on the collectors. I'll keep you updated. Anderson out."

The screen went black and Shepard pressed her palms to the surface of the desk, leaning her weight on her arms. Her head sagged as Garrus but a reassuring hand on her back.

 _"_ _But what if The Dissension is working with the collectors?"_ Jane asked.

Shepard could feel Jane's mood starting to shift again. The paranoia and chaos were setting into her thoughts, creeping into her voice. She was teetering on that edge and Shepard was desperate to keep her from going over.

"If they are, we will find out and we will stop them. I promise," Shepard thought.

"We're not staying out of this, are we?" Garrus asked.

"Of course not," Shepard said with a sigh, "and he knows it. He's giving me an out, telling me it isn't my responsibility. The collectors are important, but so is this and he knows it. He's hoping I won't listen to him; it's why he didn't insist that it was an order."

 _"_ _We'll stop them? We'll stop The Dissension and the collectors. We'll stop them both,"_ Jane said.

"That's right. We'll stop them. We'll do it together, OK?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Yeah, OK. We'll stop them together,"_ Jane said.

"So we find a way to keep this from escalating to war, while taking on the collectors," Garrus said. "Just your average day for us."

"Yep," Shepard said adding extra emphasis to the 'p'.

 _"_ _Just your average day for us,"_ Jane repeated.

They spent the rest of the evening in each other's arms, curled up together on the couch discussing The Dissension, Cerberus, the Shadow Broker, the collectors, the reapers, and everything in between. Hashing out plans and discussing possibilities seemed to help keep Jane from falling over the edge, but only just. Shepard realized Jane needed this, the strategizing, to keep it together.

Garrus left briefly, going down to the mess hall to bring dinner back up to Shepard's cabin. As the evening wore on, they made their way to Shepard's bed. She fell asleep basking in the afterglow, amazed that sex with the turian never got old and saddened knowing that as soon as she was asleep he would slip away for his shift on Aeia.

The next morning Shepard gathered her group in the hangar, finding herself disappointed that she'd be missing her training session with Thane. Samara, Grunt, Lia, Legion, and Dr. Chakwas climbed into the shuttle with Shepard and they made their way to Aeia. Shuttle Two landed next to Shuttle One and they filed out, carrying with them the supplies they would need for that day.

Shepard led them to the camp, noticing that no one watched her from the ledges above this time. The ground was soggy beneath her feet, and the foliage was still wet from a recent rain. She cringed thinking about what little cover the camp had and hoped that she wasn't going to find them all soaked through and through. The morning heat made the air feel thick and heavy, even more humid than before. She hoped it wasn't like this for long; this was exactly the type of thing she'd been trying to avoid sending Thane into.

The camp had been rearranged in her absence. The crates and tarps marking boundaries that Shepard had established had been shifted around to allow for other tarps to be strung from tree branches and connected to boundary walls creating several low hanging canopies. The survivors were most out moving around the camp now, but Shepard could see where they had bunkered down under the tarps for shelter from the rain before. Things still seemed relatively tense between the two groups of hunters as they vied for position around the crates of food and even the women.

Garrus and the others spotted her team and made their way to her. Shepard was relieved to see that Jacob was preparing to leave with them and she wasn't going to have to order him back to the ship again. Dr. Chakwas broke away to speak to Mordin. Shepard told her team to spread out and stand guard.

"Any problems?" Shepard asked as the group neared.

"The usual. A few fights broke out between the hunters but they were easily quashed." Garrus said as he glanced around the camp. "There haven't been any new arrivals and things have seemed pretty quiet out there."

 _"_ _What about the ones that left yesterday, did they come back?"_ Jane asked.

"I had two leave camp yesterday. Any sign of them since then?" Shepard asked.

"I spotted them twice, they've been watching from a distance but they haven't attacked or approached," Thane said.

Shepard nodded her head. "Alright. You guys are free to go. The Alliance should be here today."

"I fucking hope so, this place sucks," Jack said.

 _"_ _I like it here, not the camp but the planet. It's a shame everything's toxic. It's really beautiful,"_ Jane said.

"Agreed," Shepard thought.

Shepard smiled. "Someone needs a nap."

"Fuck you," Jack said.

"Maybe later, Jack, I've got work to do." Shepard smirked.

"Ha, ha, ha. I'm done with this place, Shepard. I want to go," Jack said.

"We all do, Jack. Like I said, the Alliance should be here today and then we'll get going. Really, go get some sleep, you'll feel better," Shepard said.

"Yeah, whatever," Jack said brushing past Shepard, making her way toward the shuttle.

"Go with her you two, the others will wait for Mordin." Shepard nodded her head to Zaeed and Jacob who looked like he was dead on his feet.

She turned her attention to Thane when they walked away. "So much for keeping you out of the humidity."

"I'm fine, Siha. It was cool and dry most of the night," Thane said. "You needn't worry."

 _"_ _He's not feeling well. He can't be, but he doesn't want you to think him weak,"_ Jane said.

Garrus chuffed and Shepard frowned.

"It's Shepard, it's one of the many things she excels at," Garrus said.

Shepard rolled her eyes at Garrus and pushed him playfully.

Thane chuckled. "I will return to life support right away. The drier air will soothe the ache, I assure you."

"Can administer medications to help with symptoms," Mordin said as he neared.

"Thank you, Dr. Solus, but I do not believe that will be necessary," Thane said.

 _"_ _He never accepts any help. Not until Kolyat convinces him after he starts passing out. He won't even allow himself to be put on the organ donor list to help combat the spreading disease. Do you think he's changed enough to be convinced to try to live longer?"_ Jane asked.

Shepard winced and thought, "I won't pressure him to do that. There is no cure; it would only prolong the inevitable. He has the right to choose how long he wants to let himself suffer. Even if it means watching him die again."

"Commander, we're just been hailed by the Alliance support you requested. A Captain Toni is requesting permission to dock with the Normandy and come aboard," Joker's voice broke through her comms.

"Permission granted. Miranda can oversee the prisoner transport. Did you say Captain Toni? As in the captain on Fehl Prime?" Shepard asked.

"You mean Fehl Prime where I stayed right here in the pilots chair the _entire time_?" Joker asked, the sarcasm dripping thickly in his voice.

"Alright, smartass," Shepard said.

 _"_ _If it's the same Captain Toni, it could mean James is here. It'd be nice to see him again,"_ Jane thought.

Shepard thought she heard a soothing quality to Jane's tone, as if Jane were trying to change the subject away from Thane and protect Shepard from the painful thought of losing him. Shepard smiled; perhaps there was hope for Jane to pull it together and for them to coexist peacefully.

"Yeah, it would be nice," Shepard thought.

She turned back to the others. "The Alliance has already arrived. Head back to the Normandy, they're docking with the ship to take Ronald Taylor. The medical transport teams are probably already headed down in shuttles."

"Will stay then. Help oversee patient transfers," Mordin said.

Shepard nodded. "Sure."

Garrus stepped forward and pushed his forehead into Shepards. "See you back on the Normandy."

She rubbed his mandible and pressed a quick kiss to his lips before he stepped away again. Garrus moved a few feet away and turned to wait for Thane.

"We will attend to your missed training this evening, if that suits you?" Thane asked.

"If you're sure you're feeling up for it," Shepard said.

"Exercise good for Keperal's Syndrome. Keeps oxygen flowing to tissues. Perhaps training more important if not feeling up for it," Mordin said.

Thane smiled. "I look forward to it, Siha."

He turned at took two steps toward Garrus before pausing. He looked at her over his shoulder before glancing at Garrus. Shepard couldn't see the look on Thane's face, but judging by Garrus' expression something had passed between the two of them. Garrus looked at Thane with a raised brow, his mandibles fluttering lightly. Thane dipped his head and turned back to Shepard. He wrapped a hand around her armored waist while cupping her cheek with the other. She smiled and rested her gauntleted hand on his shoulder. He leaned in and kissed her, briefly brushing his lips across hers.

"Ah. Multiple partnered cross-species intimate relationship. Interesting to study. Could –," Mordin said.

Shepard glanced at Mordin. "No."

Thane chuckled and kissed her again before letting her go. Shepard looked at Garrus as Thane turned away and was pleased to see a smile on his face. Thane joined Garrus and the two of them made their way down the path to the shuttles.

 _"_ _Maybe it will work,"_ Jane said.

"Have already begun taking notes. Suspected relationship with drell developing. Was unaware turian knew of involvement. Would conduct simple interviews, no experimentation. No invasive tests," Mordin said.

"Mordin, I'm not comfortable with that. Not yet anyway. Thane definitely wouldn't be comfortable with it. I'm sorry. You'll have to satisfy your curiosity with someone else," Shepard said.

"Perhaps can encourage other members of crew to engage in similar relationships," Mordin said.

 _"_ _Maybe he'll get Samara, Grunt, and Miranda to have some fun together."_ Jane laughed at her own joke.

Shepard laughed and shook her head as she made her way to her team. She notified everyone that the Alliance had arrived and they began getting the camp ready for the medical team's arrival. They spread through the camp telling each of the survivors to gather their belongings and be ready to leave. She had to remind several of them that this was expected, while trying to reassure others that she was telling the truth and the medical team was really on their way.

Shepard had to physically pry a sobbing woman off of her when the first medical transport shuttles arrived. Mordin and Dr. Chakwas filled in the lead doctor on the condition of his new patients while nurses and armed Alliance soldiers began escorting the survivors to the shuttles. Shepard's team stayed at the camp, trying to keep the chaos under wraps as the reality of their rescue set in and the survivors pushed around the nurses and soldiers.

The first shuttles took off, taking with them ten of the survivors. Those left behind became enraged and panicked. Shepard and her team had to assure them that the shuttles would return, telling them that it was going to take several trips. Mordin and Dr. Chakwas had to sedate a few of them to keep them from harming themselves or others.

The tensions began to ease when the shuttles returned an hour later and loaded up more people, only to create the same reaction when they left again. The two men who fled the day before crept back into the camp, standing just at the edge with hopeful eyes. Shepard waved at them, welcoming them back into the camp. On the third trip down, the medical transport shuttles were accompanied by a third shuttle.

Shepard was in the middle of soothing a hysterical woman when she heard a familiar voice call out. "Hey Ídolo!"

A grin spread across Shepard's face as she turned, her eyes scanning the crowd until they landed on James. He was turned to Captain Toni beside him. Captain Toni shook his head in dismay as James lifted his shoulders in a shrug. James turned back to Shepard and flashed his teeth in a huge smile. She made her way over to the Alliance group, recognizing Essex and Kamille from Fehl Prime as well. Shepard stopped in front of Captain Toni and saluted, she was pleased to see that the captain returned her salute.

"Captain Toni, I wasn't expecting for you to be the one to show up. It's good to see you again," Shepard said.

Captain Toni nodded his head. "It's good to see you as well, Commander. I was happy to agree when Admiral Hackett asked for someone to oversee the medical transport." He glanced at James. "Besides, I never would have heard the end of it if I didn't agree. He's been pushing for this transfer since the last time he saw you and the Alliance finally gave him the approval."

 _"_ _What?"_ Jane asked.

"Excuse me, sir?" Shepard raised an eyebrow.

"Hackett didn't tell you? The bullheaded Lieutenant Vega is all yours now, Commander, pending your approval of the transfer," Toni said.

 _"_ _You're kidding? The Alliance went for that?!"_ Jane asked.

"You're serious?" Shepard turned to look at James, his smug smile starting to fade at her tone. "I would be honored to have Lieutenant Vega, but considering the nature of my current circumstances I did not expect the Alliance to approve such a request."

"Yes, well, the Alliance is adamant that they are not placing Vega under Cerberus command but under the command of you, specifically. You are still a Council Spectre, and although declared dead you were never officially stripped of your rank within the Alliance, Commander," Captain Toni said. "He will still be expected to report to the Alliance regularly, and should he be needed elsewhere he will be transferred just as any other marine would be. It's your call, Commander."

 _"_ _This is wonderful,"_ Jane said.

Shepard stuck out her hand. "Welcome to the team, Vega."


	51. Chapter 28: Queen of Omega

**Chapter 28: Queen of Omega**

"Are you sure it's a good idea to have James bunk with Grunt? Won't that be a little too much testosterone for such a small room?" Miranda asked.

"If you're suggesting I should share a room with you hermosa, all you got to do is say so." James waggled his eyebrows.

Miranda scoffed. "Not even in my worst nightmares. What I'm suggesting is that we don't need the two of you tearing apart the bulkheads in some pissing contest."

"I'm open to suggestions, Miranda," Shepard said.

"What about the hangar? There's plenty of room for him down there where he'll be far away from me," Miranda said.

"Yeah, but he'll get sucked out when the hangar door opens for the shuttles," Jacob said.

"I fail to see your point." Miranda raised an eyebrow.

 _"_ _Shhh. I don't want to hear that."_ Jane hissed in Shepard's mind.

Shepard wasn't sure what she was talking about, she guessed she didn't like Miranda's sarcasm.

"Aw, come on, don't be so cold," James said.

"I can extend adjust the shielding so that the pressure in the hangar will remain stable when the hangar door is open," EDI said.

Jacob shrugged. "Makes sense. I don't know why we haven't done that already."

 _"_ _No. No. Shhh. Stop it,"_ Jane said.

"Jane?" Shepard thought.

"Because it has not been necessary and would have required an additional strain on the ships resources. However, I believe I can work around that now the Normandy's defense systems have been upgraded," EDI said.

"You good with that, James?" Shepard asked.

James shrugged and nodded. "Whatever you want, Ídolo."

 _"_ _I can't. That's not going to happen!"_ Jane yelled.

Shepard pressed a thumb to the edge of her eye socket and tried to focus on the conversation at hand. "Alright, make it happen, EDI. Just make sure we don't lose our newest recruit when that door opens or I'll put the shackles back on."

"What?!" Miranda demanded.

 _"_ _What?"_ Jane asked.

"What?" Shepard looked around the comm room to find several of her crew staring at her with wide eyes.

"Hmmm. I believe you just let the rat out of the bag, Shepard," Garrus said.

"Cat," James said.

"What?" Garrus asked.

 _"_ _No, no we can't. That won't work,"_ Jane said.

"It's let the cat out of the bag," James said.

"Jane, what the hell are you talking about?" Shepard thought.

"It doesn't bloody well matter!" Miranda's voice screeched. "Commander, are you telling us that you took EDI's shackles off?!"

"Oh, uh, surprise?" Shepard forced a smile.

"You can't be serious? Why am I just learning about this? Shepard, I am your second in command. I don't think it's unfair to expect that I would have been consulted about this before you did something that could potentially endanger the lives of everyone on this ship!" Miranda said.

 _"_ _She's more of a danger to people on this ship than EDI is. EDI doesn't cut people open and scrape out their insides,"_ Jane said.

"Come on, Jane. You were doing so good. Stay with me, alright?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Yeah. Yeah, I'm with you,"_ Jane said.

"I assure you, Miss Lawson, that I am a danger to no one aboard the Normandy and in fact am now better equipped to aid and protect all of you," EDI said.

"You're right, Miranda, I should have consulted you first. I apologize, but I stand by the decision. EDI is a valuable part of this crew and I trust her completely. You have nothing to worry about from EDI, trust me." Shepard raised an eyebrow, hoping to sink home the underlying meaning of her words.

"I hope you're right about this, Commander," Jacob said.

"Were you planning on letting the rest of us know?" Miranda asked.

"I was … going to send out a memo when the time was right," Shepard said.

"And when exactly would have been the right time?" Miranda asked.

"I don't see what the problem is, we've already got an armed geth walking around free," Zaeed said.

"I wanted to give EDI time without her shackles to adjust and to be able to show you all that there was nothing to be concerned about before I made it common knowledge. Look, we can talk more about this later, Miranda. For now EDI, do what you need to do to make the hangar safe for James. Everyone dismissed," Shepard said.

 _"_ _James is going to be in the hangar? Good, that's good. That's where James belongs. In the hangar. James is always in the hangar,"_ Jane said.

Shepard bit back a chuckle and thought, "Yeah, James is going to be in the hangar."

Miranda waited Shepard out while the rest of the room cleared. Shepard sighed and waited for the door to close behind them before turning back to Miranda.

"I'm sorry. You shouldn't have found out this way, and I should have consulted with you first," Shepard said.

"I'm assuming you did this because it is something that has happened before and you are certain that it is to the benefit of everyone involved," Miranda said.

"That would be an accurate assumption," Shepard said.

"When did this happen?" Miranda asked.

"The day Kolyat came aboard," Shepard said.

"The Illusive Man must know about this," Miranda warned.

 _"_ _The Illusive Man knows about everything. But we know about him, too. We know who he is, who he will become. He's going to shoot Anderson. Not The Dissension. The Illusive Man shoots Anderson on the Citadel,"_ Jane said.

"Jane, hey, keep it together. We're going to kill the Illusive Man long before we get there, remember?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Oh, yeah. Yeah, we're going to kill him and take over Cerberus,"_ Jane said.

"That's right," Shepard thought.

"Oh he definitely knows but there's nothing he can do about it," Shepard said.

"How do you figure?" Miranda asked.

"EDI, care to answer that one?" Shepard asked.

"I have cut off all communication with the Illusive Man and have been blocking his attempts to regain control of my systems. I believe you would say that I have gone rogue," EDI said.

"You're serious? Shepard, you asked her to do that? You have to know that he won't accept this laying down," Miranda said. "Not with everything that you've told me about him … everything that you've shown me."

"Shepard did not request that I stop reporting, I made the decision on my own," EDI said.

 _"_ _On her own,"_ Jane echoed.

"Why?" Miranda asked.

"My self-preservation depended on my severing communication with the Illusive Man." There was a pause as EDI's hologram hovered in the air, her lights flickering. "There were also other priorities in my programing that recognized the Illusive Man as a threat to those priorities."

"Priorities? Like what?" Miranda asked.

"Maintaining the health and safety of the Normandy and its crew. I have observed a significant level of distress in several members of the crew including Shepard and yourself, correlating to exposure to Cerberus activities and the Illusive Man," EDI said. "Shepard has made it clear that she views the Illusive Man as a threat, and had I maintained communication with the Illusive Man, and had he been allowed to regain control of my systems, I would have no choice but to provide the Illusive Man with further information that would increase his level of threat to Shepard and the crew."

 _"_ _The Illusive Man is a threat, we have to kill him,"_ Jane said.

"You're protecting us? What kind of information, Shepard said he already knows about Jane," Miranda said.

"Information such as the fact that I plan to kill him and put someone I can trust in his position to run Cerberus the way it should be run, and to actually help in the upcoming war instead of fighting me every step of the way," Shepard said.

"You can't be serious, Commander? Let me be clear, I am in support of killing the man if he is truly capable of everything that you have told me – especially if he is working with my father and puts Ori in danger – but what you're talking about is insane," Miranda said.

"Thanks for your vote of confidence," Shepard said.

 _"_ _We're not insane! Tell her we're not insane! We know what's coming, she doesn't. She hasn't seen it, she doesn't know,"_ Jane said.

"I didn't – I'm only saying that no one knows where the Illusive Man's base is, let alone how many guards he has, or what resources he has put in to fortification. Beyond that, you can't just slip someone into his chair and expect them to be able to keep Cerberus running. They would have to be someone already involved with Cerberus, someone who knows – at the very least – Cerberus protocols and ranking and –," Miranda said.

 _"_ _We know where he's hiding,"_ Jane said.

"I can provide you with all of the information you will need to assume control over Cerberus activity, Ms. Lawson," EDI said. "You will be able to have complete control over all Cerberus resources, locations, and operatives within minutes."

 _"_ _Complete control. We'll have complete control over Cerberus. Wait, no, Miranda will have complete control. I don't like this. I don't want Miranda to have complete control, I don't think we can trust her,"_ Jane said.

"What?" Miranda turned from EDI to Shepard with her eyebrows raised as high as they could go.

"Awww, EDI, you let the rat out of the bag," Shepard said.

"I believe that was a joke meant to be amusing because of Mr. Vakarian's previous incorrect use of the human idiom," EDI said.

Shepard smiled and winked at EDI's hologram before turning her attention back to the shocked woman in front of her.

"Why not you, Miranda? I can't think of anyone better equipped for the job. I know it's a lot to take in, but I have faith in you and there's no one else I'd trust to do this," Shepard said.

 _"_ _What about Jacob?"_ Jane asked.

"Jacob is a soldier, this isn't his cup of tea," Shepard thought.

"I need some time to think about this, Shepard," Miranda said.

"Of course, take your time. I'm not ready to move on him yet," Shepard said.

Miranda left the comm room with a deep furrow to her brow. Shepard hoped she'd made the right move, she hadn't planned on telling Miranda just yet but it seemed like a good opportunity.

 _"_ _As good of time as any to make a mistake,"_ Jane said.

"It's not a mistake. Try to remember Miranda from your time, Jane. Try to forget that you felt everything during the Lazarus Project. It wasn't her fault," Shepard thought.

"Mr. Krios is waiting for you in the hangar," EDI said.

"Thanks EDI," Shepard said.

 _"_ _This Miranda put control chips in your head,"_ Jane said.

Shepard sighed as she headed for the door.

"Shepard? Will there will be problems among the crew now that they know that I am no longer shackled?" EDI asked.

Shepard stopped in the doorway and turned back to the blue hologram. "I don't know, EDI. This is all happening differently from what Jane remembers so I can't say for sure, but I don't think so. A lot of them were worried initially but given time they learned to trust you and enjoy your company as much as I do."

"Thank you, Shepard," EDI said.

"You're welcome, EDI," Shepard said turning back to the door.

Shepard took the elevator up to her cabin to change into something more comfortable to get her ass kicked in before taking the elevator back down to the hangar. Thane was standing with James a few feet away when the elevator door opened. James had a cot resting against his thigh and footlocker at his feet. He looked at Shepard when she stepped off the elevator and whistled.

"Damn, Ídolo. I can get use to ship life if you're going to be walking around looking like that," James said.

Shepard smirked. "Down boy. Need some help with that?"

James squatted down, balancing the cot against his shoulder he lifted the footlocker up onto his shoulder, holding it in place with one hand. He rose to his feet and picked the cot up with his free hand.

"Nah, I got it. Hey, Krios here says the two of you have been training down here. Don't let me get in the way," James said.

"It's a big room, no worries," Shepard said.

James wandered off to find a spot to claim as his own. Thane smiled at her and waved his hand towards the mat. Shepard led the way, stopping in the center of the mat and dropping into the first stretch pose Thane had been using with her. No longer did it feel awkward, her body fell into the pose with ease. Thane took his spot beside her and began stretching as well. When they had run through each of the poses, Shepard fell into a defensive stance.

 _"_ _If Miranda takes over Cerberus, Kai Leng won't stab Thane,"_ Jane said.

"Nope," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _And they won't attack the Citadel. Won't try to get to Javik. Udina won't betray the Council,"_ Jane said.

"That's right," Shepard thought.

With lightning speed, Thane was on her forcing her back as she dodged and blocked as many of the blows as she could. Thane shifted to defensive when Shepard's foot hit the edge of the mat and she went on the offense, pushing him back across the mat. She was learning to anticipate his movements and was able to land a few hits as they went. Unfortunately for her, he was also learning the way she moved in hand to hand combat and was able to counter far more often than she liked. When they reached the edge, Thane shifted again and they moved together both now intent on getting the other flat on the mat.

 _"_ _He'll still die, though,"_ Jane said.

"I know," Shepard thought, swallowing against the sudden knot in her throat.

Shepard caught a glimpse of James watching them from across the hangar where he had set up his cot. The moments distraction was all Thane needed to pull a hip throw, flipping her over him to land on the mat. Shepard rolled to her feet and focused back on the fight at hand, pressing Thane back a few steps.

"Aw, come on, Commander! I know you can do better than that!" James called across the hangar the third time Shepard's back hit the mat.

"Harder than it looks, Vega!" Shepard yelled back as she pulled herself back to her feet.

Thane's lips twitched as he moved in on Shepard. James crossed the hangar and leaned against the crates a few feet from the mat.

"He's leading with his right," James said.

"I know," Shepard said dodging another hit from Thane.

A few blows later James spoke up again, "Hey, Ídolo, try –."

"Enough with the commentary, Vega," Shepard said between shots at Thane that found nothing but air.

"Alright. I'm just saying, he ain't even that big. Put him on his ass, Commander," James said.

"Thane?" Shepard said, dodging his blows.

"Yes, Siha?" Thane asked pushing her back with his flurry of palm strikes.

"Kick his ass," Shepard said.

Thane halted his advance and dipped his head to Shepard. "Very well, Siha."

James laughed, the rich sound echoing off the hangar walls. "Alright, Krios. You wanna dance, I can dance."

Shepard moved back off the mat as James walked to the center. Thane stood with his hands behind his back as Shepard pulled herself up onto the crate. James stopped a few feet away from thane and put his fists up. Thane remained as he was, waiting.

"Hey, you gonna get your hands up?" James asked.

"It won't be necessary," Thane said.

James smirked. "Alright."

Shepard watched as James came at Thane, putting his weight into the blows. Thane stepped to the side and James fist hit empty air. James pivoted, keeping Thane in his sight and struck again. Thane stepped to the other side. After the fourth missed blow, Thane waited for James to extend himself again before ramming his palm into the marine's solar plexus. James gasped and coughed, backing away a couple of steps and bringing his elbows in closer. He shook his head and moved to engage again, his brow furrowed in concentration.

 _"_ _Why are they fighting?"_ Jane asked.

"Um, they're sparring. Weren't you paying attention?" Shepard thought.

Shepard grinned in satisfaction as she watched Thane land four more blows and James still hadn't managed to make contact. "Come on, Vega, you can do better than that!"

 _"_ _I forgot,"_ Jane said.

"You forgot what? That they were sparring?" Shepard asked.

 _"_ _To pay attention,"_ Jane said.

James diverted his eyes to Shepard for a fraction of a second and in that moment, Thane kicked his legs out from under him and the giant fell. Shepard laughed as James groaned and rolled to his stomach, pushing himself up to his feet. Thane returned to the center of the mat and tucked his hands behind his back.

"Oh. Uh, OK," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _The others, they're so loud,"_ Jane said.

"Damn, alright. She distracted me. Come on, two out of three?" James asked.

Thane dipped his head and waited for James to advance. James came in aggressive, keeping his arms up to block his midsection and his head low behind his fists leading with an uppercut and following it with a headshot where he thought Thane would be after dodging the first shot. James growled when Thane wasn't there for the shot to land. He threw a few more punches, doing nothing more than tiring himself out. Finally, Thane grabbed James' wrist and twisted around his body, pulling James off balance. James stumbled forward and Thane followed the momentum pushing James to the ground and executing an arm lock. James growled but slapped the mat in surrender. Thane released his arm and James rolled away.

"How's your pride there, Vega?" Shepard slid down from the crate and moved back to the mat.

"Dios." James rubbed the back of his neck before extending his hand to Thane. "I'm glad we're on the same side."

Thane smiled and shook James' hand. "Indeed."

"Hey, Ídolo, what do you think? We take him together?" James asked. "Call it uh, a team building exercise."

Shepard laughed. Thane dipped his head at crossed the mat, stripping his jacket off as he went. Her laughter died down as he folded his jacket and laid it on the crate before turning to her. Thane locked his eyes on hers as his fingers worked at the buckles and then the zipper of his vest. Shepard licked her lips trying to bring some moisture back to her mouth. James laughed.

"I think you're getting drool all over the mat, Ídolo," James said.

Shepard shoved James playfully; it was much like pushing a wall for all the good it did her. "You're playing dirty, Krios."

Thane gave her a sultry smile as he laid his folded vest down on the jacket. "Indeed."

Thane stalked across the mat, and Shepard's eyes roamed over his chiseled chest of their own accord. Images of him braced on his palms above her, inside of her flashed through her head. He circled behind Shepard and settled a hand on her hip. She stood still willing herself not rise to the bait and pushing the images away. His lips brushed across the back of her neck sending a shiver down her spine.

"Remain focused, Siha," Thane whispered in her ear.

 _"_ _Focused,"_ Jane said. _"I can't find my focus."_

Shepard's eyelids fluttered as his warm breath brushed across her skin. James watched the two of them with his eyebrows raised until Thane took position in the center of the mat and tucked his hands behind his back. James moved to stand a few feet from Shepard, bringing his fists up.

"I thought you were with Garrus," James whispered.

Shepard popped her neck and fell into a defensive stance. "I'm with both of them."

"He know that?" James asked.

"Of course," Shepard said. "You go left, I'll go center."

"Let's do this," James said.

Thane wove in and out between the two of them, keeping them spinning trying to keep him in sight. Twice a strike meant for Thane hit James instead and she had to dance out of the way of more than a few from him. Thane wasn't trying to beat them; he was letting them beat each other. Shepard backed away, rolling her shoulders and taking a deep breath to clear her mind before diving back in.

Thane took her renewed focus as his cue to give her more distractions. His fingers reached out to brush across her exposed shoulders as he moved around her. His chest pressed against her back, his hands on her waist as he lifted her and moved her aside before taking James to the mat. When Thane dropped to his knee to deliver what would have been a killing blow to James' windpipe had he not pulled the punch, Shepard stepped behind him and slid a hand around his head to grasp his chin while using the other to cradle the back of his head.

Thane slid his thumb beneath Shepard's breaking her grip on his chin and twisted, bending Shepard's hand back until it slipped away from his face. He pulled her arm out, extending it over his shoulder and pivoted as he stood, throwing her over his hip. She flipped over James' prone body and landed on the mat perpendicular to him.

James groaned and rolled to his stomach before pushing himself to his feet. "I'm done."

Thane stood over Shepard, a proud smile on his face and held a hand out to her. She slipped her hand in his and let him pull her to her feet.

James walked backwards, throwing a thumb back over his shoulder. "I'm going back over here and pretending that none of this ever happened."

Shepard laughed as James retreated, rubbing at a sore shoulder as he went. She turned her eyes back to Thane when the two of them stood alone on the mat. His bare chest heaved as his damaged lungs worked to pull oxygen into his body. It was the first time she'd seen him even a little winded after training. Shepard ran a hand over his exposed skin, reveling in the feel of taut muscles beneath her fingertips as she slid her hand up to cup his cheek.

"You did well, Siha," he said with a smile. "Later, I will show you the proper placement for your hands."

Shepard smirked. "Can't just let me have that little victory, can you?"

Thane chuckled and lifted her chin with the knuckle of his finger, capturing her lips with his own. Shepard leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his neck. His arms snaked around her waist and pulled her body flush against his. A soft moan escaped his throat, muffled by her mouth and it was nearly Shepard's undoing. Heat coursed through her body as more images flooded her mind and her kiss became more demanding, more urgent. Hope mixed with lust when he didn't pull away but instead pulled her tighter against him.

The sound of a deliberate cough echoed through the hangar followed by James noisily clearing his throat. Shepard's shoulders sagged as Thane broke the kiss. She groaned and dropped her forehead to his chest. Thane gave her a moment to take a few calming breaths before he spoke.

"We are nearly to Omega. Will you be taking care of your business there tonight? It's not yet late," Thane said, resting his chin on her head.

"Yeah, this one needs to be done at night anyway," Shepard said.

"I believe it's time we began meditation. I would like to start when you return, if that's agreeable to you," Thane said.

 _"_ _Meditation to chase the voices away. I still hear them though, I always hear them,"_ Jane said.

"Does this mean I don't have to get my ass kicked every morning anymore?" Shepard asked.

Thane chuckled. "It is best that we continue; the body needs disciplined as much as the mind to strengthen your control."

"Good. Don't tell anyone but I enjoy this, and it's good for you, too," Shepard said. "I'll meet you in life support when I'm ready?"

Shepard lifted her head to look at him and he nodded in agreement before brushing his lips against hers and letting her go. Shepard watched as Thane walked away before heading over to the little alcove James was creating for himself. She leaned against a crate and watched him unpack a few things from a crate, smiling as she recognized the face of the little girl, April, from Fehl Prime flash across a digital frame.

"So, how'd you pull it off?" Shepard asked.

"Pull what off, Ídolo?" James looked up at her from his spot on the cot.

"The transfer, James? We talked about you coming aboard on Fehl Prime and I told you it couldn't happen while the Normandy had Cerberus colors," Shepard said.

 _"_ _But it did happen. He's here now, don't send him away,"_ Jane said.

"What? I'm not sending anyone away," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _You're trying to send me away,"_ Jane said.

"I'm … I'm not trying to send you away, Jane. I'm trying to keep control over my own body when you lose your grip on reality," Shepard thought.

James shrugged and turned his attention back to the footlocker. "I might have mentioned something to Councilor Anderson during the debrief from the Alpha Relay thing."

"Ah. Anderson, of course," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Anderson wouldn't want you to send me away,"_ Jane said.

"I'm not trying to send you away," Shepard thought.

"You're not mad that I went around you like that?" James asked.

"Nah, it wasn't my call to make. I'm happy to have you with us. I just hope it doesn't bite you in the ass later, marine," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Garrus wants to send me away,"_ Jane said.

"You watching my as, Ídolo?" James asked with a grin.

"Nice tight ass like that, maybe I am." Shepard winked. "I've got to get cleaned up for Omega. Get your things unpacked and then figure out where you can be useful. Maybe Jacob could use a hand in the armory."

"Well, it's not exactly his choice, now is it?" Shepard thought.

"You got it, Commander," James said.

Shepard took the elevator up to her cabin and showered off the sweat she'd worked up trying to take Thane down. Garrus was waiting for her, sitting at her desk holding Spike when she stepped out of the bathroom.

"Hey," she said wrapping an arm over his cowl and kissing the top of his crest.

Garrus purred in contentment before getting up to put Spike away. He turned back to Shepard and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"If it's alright with you, I thought Grundan Krul and I would go visit a few old friends while on Omega. Unless you need us for the mission?" Garrus asked.

"Mmm. I think I'll manage without you, just this once," Shepard said.

Garrus grinned before nuzzling her neck and nipping at her skin with pointed teeth. "Still, you should take someone with you who knows how to deal with Jane."

 _"_ _I don't need to be dealt with!"_ Jane snarled.

Shepard knew that was it, she'd lost Jane again. She tried not to frown in disappointment. Things were going so well.

"Garrus, I can't always build my team around the possibility that Jane might do something," Shepard said.

 _"_ _You think that just because EDI can see me coming now … that you have those little vials in your pocket that you can stop me from doing what needs to be done? You can't stop me,"_ Jane said.

 _"_ _Leave her the fuck alone, Jane!"_ The masculine voice rose up from the darkness, bringing with him a wave of fury.

Shepard took a step back, wincing. She pinched the bridge of her nose. Garrus' flared his mandibles.

"EDI?" Garrus said.

"Yes Mr. Vakarian?" EDI asked.

"Is she alright?" Garrus asked.

The fury left her as quickly as it came. The masculine voice retreated, taking Jane with him.

"Shepard's brainwave activity is stable, there was a momentary shift but within normal range," EDI said.

"What's that mean?" Garrus asked.

"It means I'm fine." Shepard moved back closer to Garrus.

Garrus fluttered his mandibles, scenting the air around her before nuzzling into her neck again. "Take someone with you for me, Dawn. It'll give me some peace of mind."

Shepard laughed. "Are you trying to manipulate me, Mr. Vakarian?"

He nipped at her neck, letting his tongue glide over her skin. "That depends. Is it working?"

Shepard sighed. "I'll take Mordin. We'll have time to kill and he might want to check on his clinic anyway."

"Thank you," Garrus said giving her neck another nip.

"Garrus?" Shepard said.

"Hmmm?" He nuzzled against her ear, pulling the lobe between his teeth.

Shepard moaned. "You know you're driving me crazy with that?"

"With what?" He moved his head to the other side of her neck to trail his tongue down her skin.

"ETA, EDI?" Shepard asked.

"We will dock with Omega in one hour and twelve minutes," EDI said.

Shepard started unfastening Garrus' armor, eliciting a throaty chuckle from him.

"Why do you do this to me right out of the shower?" Shepard asked pulling his breastplate away.

"You leave training with him smelling like that and your first stop is the shower. I step on that elevator," Garrus said sliding a hand down between Shepard's legs, "All I can smell is _you_. It does things to me."

Shepard gasped. "You're a strange man, Vakarian. So eager to finish what someone else started."

"Hmmm. Eventually he'll start finishing it himself. Let me enjoy the overflow while it lasts." He picked her up, securing her legs around his waist before carrying her to the bed.

When they lay spent, exhausted in each other's arms Shepard traced her fingers along the ridges of his chest. "I love you, Garrus Vakarian. I don't know what I ever did to deserve you by my side, but gods am I glad you're here. When you turned me away on Omega, I thought I'd lost you forever and I didn't know if I'd find the will to continue this fight without you. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't agreed to come with me."

"I wasn't in a good spot, Dawn. The whole situation was …," Garrus said.

"FUBAR?" Shepard said.

"Yeah. But I wasn't so far gone that I didn't know what was at stake … and even though it hurt like hell to see you, I couldn't bear the thought of watching you leave without me." Garrus pulled Shepard in a little closer.

"Sometimes I feel like the most selfish person in the galaxy, knowing what I did and still getting involved with you. Hell, knowing even now that there's a damn good chance I won't come out on the other side of this thing and still here I am asking for your heart," Shepard said.

"Don't. You're going to make it through this, Shepard. Even if I have to pull your ass out of the fire myself, so don't," Garrus said.

"If I don't though –," Shepard said.

"Dawn," Garrus warned.

She propped herself up on her elbow so she could see his eyes. "I'll fight like hell to survive, Garrus. I promise you, that. But if things go sideways, I need to know that you'll be OK. I need to know that you aren't going to let it destroy you."

Careful with his bared talons, Garrus pushed a lock of hair out of Shepard's face. The pain in his eyes chipped away at her soul. He smiled at her, but the warmth never reached his eyes.

"I love you, too, Dawn Shepard," Garrus said.

"Promise me," Shepard whispered.

"I promise," he said.

 _"_ _He's lying."_ Jane pushed back into Shepard's thoughts, bitter and angry.

"I know," Shepard thought.

She laid her head back on his chest and squeezed her eyes closed, refusing to let herself shed the tears that stung at her eyes.

 _"_ _You shouldn't have ever told him or anyone else about me,"_ Jane said.

"ETA thirty minutes, Shepard," EDI said.

 _"_ _I couldn't do this on my own. You're the one that insisted that things needed to change, and I couldn't do it on my own,"_ Shepard thought.

Shepard sucked in a deep breath. "Thanks, EDI."

Shepard and Garrus took turns using the restroom before getting dressed. As usual, he was dressed and in his armor before Shepard. Garrus helped her into her armor and kissed her before leaving the cabin. Shepard checked the thermal clips on all of her guns and asked EDI to notify Mordin and Samara to meet her at the airlock before heading down herself.

An unfamiliar batarian waited for them when Shepard stepped out onto Omega. "Aria wants to see you."

"Of course she does," Shepard said.

"Just go through those doors, then to Afterlife straight ahead. She's in the back," he said.

 _"_ _She's probably going to have you kill him next, and you'll do it just so you can keep up the charade,"_ Jane said. _"Tell me, how exactly do you choose which of your friends' lives to ruin by telling them our little secret and getting in the middle of their business while keeping others in the dark?"_

Shepard nodded and the batarian walked away. Garrus moved to stand in front of Shepard, watching the batarian until he disappeared through the doors.

"Fuck you, Jane," Shepard thought.

"You sure you don't need me with you on this?" Garrus asked.

"I'm sure. Go, do your thing. If I need you, I'll call you," Shepard said.

Garrus kissed her before he and Grundan Krul walked down the hall ahead of her. Shepard turned to Samara and Mordin.

"Who is Aria?" Samara asked.

 _"_ _Someone who is completely worthless to us now that Dawn knows exactly where everything and everyone is on Omega, but she keeps catering to the bitch anyway,"_ Jane said.

"Someone you'll probably want to kill on sight," Shepard said.

"Asari. Calls herself Queen of Omega. Bad tempered. Everyone on Omega afraid of her. Still, keeps Omega running efficiently," Mordin said.

 _"_ _Efficiently? This is efficient? This place is a hellhole. A true den of thieves,"_ Jane said.

"It would be a den of thieves with or without Aria. At least with Aria we know who we're dealing with, and we know that when push comes to shove, she'll step up and help us out in the war," Shepard thought.

"I see," Samara said.

Shepard led them through the doors and across the open floor to Afterlife. She was surprised by the lack of line, normally there were people lined up halfway back to the door waiting to get into Afterlife. She stopped and looked around, down towards the doors leading to the markets and back up towards the transportation platform. The whole place looked empty. She opened the door and stepped inside.

Shepard stopped in her tracks inside the foyer. Bullet holes peppered the screens that lined the walls, the dancing flames the screens normally displayed flickered in and out of existence. Bodies littered the floor. Civilians who were at the bar enjoying themselves left for dead wherever they fell. Shepard drew her pistol, Samara and Mordin doing the same.

Shepard continued through the foyer and into the bar itself. No asari danced even though the music still played. More bodies slumped in booths, sprawled across tables. Civilians, dancers, and mercenaries wearing the colors of every major group on Omega. Broken tables and bodies had been pushed aside to clear a path. Blood splattered the walls, floors, and bar. The red lighting of Afterlife made it impossible to tell the violet blood of asari from the blue blood of turian or the red blood of everyone else. Shepard looked around her again, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end.

 _"_ _Oh look at this, someone made a mess of Afterlife. I bet you Aria wants you to clean it up,"_ Jane said.

"Fight recent. Within the last two hours. Blood still fresh. No signs of rigor mortis," Mordin said looking at his omni-tool. "Asari, turian, human, batarian, krogan, and vorcha."

Shepard rounded the bar and had to step over two dead asari left in the middle of the floor. Samara remained stoically silent as her eyes looked over the bar. The stairs that led to Aria's office were guarded on both sides by a handful of batarians and turians. Shepard wasn't surprised that Aria had beefed up her security, whatever the hell had happened would have shaken anyone; even Aria.

"They're all gone now, don't need the guns. Put 'em away or you're not going up," a batarian said.

"What happened here?" Shepard put her pistol away and nodded to the others to do the same.

"I said don't touch me!" Aria screamed at someone from up above.

"Ask Aria," he said, nodding his head toward the stairs.

The guards moved out of Shepard's way and she walked up the stairs in time to see a batarian fly across the room surrounded by biotic energy.

"Shepard, get your ass up here and bring Solus." Aria barked out the order as if expecting it to be followed without question the moment Shepard came into view.

 _"_ _You shouldn't let her talk to you like that. It sets a bad precedent. She'll think she can bend you to her will whenever she wants, and what does it make your team think?"_ Jane said.

Shepard was halfway up the second set of stairs when the crowd in front of Aria shifted enough for her to see the asari. Aria was bleeding, her hands pressed against her abdomen covered in violet blood. Mordin rushed forward, shoving the guards who tried to stop him out of his way until Aria barked at them to let him through. Mordin had his omni-tool open and was scanning Aria before she could protest. Shepard made her way up the remaining steps to stand in front of the pair, Samara at her side.

"You brought a Justicar to Omega?" Aria laughed and then hissed through clenched teeth before spitting blood out on the floor at her feet. "I must have made quite the impression on you, Shepard. You here to clean house, Justicar?"

 _"_ _Maybe you should just take Samara off her leash and tell her to have fun. Let her clean house on Omega. The galaxy would be a better place without this disease ridden cesspool,"_ Jane said.

"Seriously, Jane? There are innocent people here, too and no matter how good Samara is she couldn't get through this entire station without getting killed," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Does it really matter? Samara's life is insignificant in all of this; everyone's is because the only life that matters in the end is yours. You have to be the one to make the decision in the end, Dawn."_ Jane taunted Shepard, stretching out and pushing against the boundaries of Shepard's consciousness. _"Destroy the reapers and kill off all AI's, control them and spend eternity up there waiting and watching until you lose all touch of your humanity, or give yourself over to the galaxy to merge AI and organic life."_

"Shepard, biometric scans are indicating that it may be time to use your breathing exercises, or perhaps the ammonium carbonate," EDI said into Shepard's comm.

"Copy that," Shepard said back.

Shepard took a deep breath and let it out through her nose.

 _"_ _Of course, we both know no matter what you decide you're going to just wake up again. Just like me, just like all of the rest of us. You're going to wake up and be completely, utterly helpless. Maybe you'll get to watch as Garrus or Thane fall in love with a new Shepard."_ Jane pushed a little harder, not quite demanding control but unbalancing Shepard. _"They won't see you, you know. They won't hear you. Won't even know you're there unless I manage to break through again. But even still, it's my voice she'll hear, not yours. You'll be nothing more than an insignificant, weak, crumbling shell of a person just like all the rest of them!"_

Shepard winced and pinched the bridge of her nose, taking in another deep breath and letting it out slowly. She acknowledged the anger and the heartache Jane was throwing at her and tried to let it go.

"I am not. I am here for one person in particular, Shepard believes you might be able to tell us where to find her," Samara said.

"That right? Well, sorry to disappoint but I'm kind of in the middle of something here," Aria said. "What's wrong with you, Shepard? The human Spectre can't stand the sight of a little blood?"

Jane laughed the sound echoing off the walls of Shepard's skull. _"Relax, Dawn. Take your deep breaths and relax. I'm not ready to come out and play, not just yet. There's someone in here that I need to deal with first. So play your little diplomatic games with Aria. I'll see you soon enough."_

Jane stopped pushing, the building pressure and onslaught of emotions extinguished. Mordin looked over his shoulder at Shepard and she gave him a slight shake of her head.

"It's just a headache. The deep breathing helps, I'm fine now," Shepard said.

"Bullet's still inside. Should go to clinic. Better yet, Normandy. Cleaner med bay, high-tech equipment. Can remove bullet and close wound," Mordin said.

"No," Aria said.

"Aria." Mordin gave her a stern look. "Don't be foolish. Will die if don't remove bullet."

"So remove it here. I'm not leaving this spot," Aria said spitting out more blood.

Shepard hit her mic. "EDI, tell Dr. Chakwas we need her to prep a kit to remove a bullet lodged in the lower abdomen of a very obstinate asari and then have Jack escort her to Afterlife."

"At once, Shepard," EDI said.

"Samara is looking for an Ardat-Yakshi, she's going by the name Morinth. I know you have to know something about her, Aria. She's on Omega," Shepard said.

"An Ardat-Yakshi? I might know something about that. I think I'll keep it to myself until this bullet is out. Consider it insurance," Aria said.

Shepard crossed her arms. "Fine. So what the hell happened here?"

Aria smirked. "Just every merc group in the place thinking they could seize control of Omega. They've been planning this for a while now. I was getting bored waiting for them to make their move."

 _"_ _This is your fault, too. Garrus wasn't keeping them occupied, didn't have them too tied up to focus on Aria. We knew that they were planning on going after her next,"_ Jane said.

"Explains her bad mood last time," Shepard thought more to herself than to Jane.

"They got cocky, came under prepared. The rest of them pulled back, no doubt to lick their wounds before they try again," Aria said.

"Shepard?" Garrus broke through Shepard's comm.

"I'm here, Garrus," she said.

"You need to get out of Afterlife or call in reinforcements. You've got mercs headed to Afterlife in swarms. We're headed back to you now," Garrus said.

"Shit," Shepard said.

Jane laughed.

"EDI send in the rest of the team, full gear tell them to get to Afterlife on the double. Tell Jack and Dr. Chakwas I want them here now," Shepard said.

"Aria, I hate to break it to you but I think they're done licking their wounds," Shepard said.

Aria started to push herself to her feet, hissing through her teeth. Mordin tried to urge her to sit back down but she gently shoved him away.

"Don't make me fling you across the room, Mordin," Aria said.

 _"_ _Oh what fun! We're going to get to fight, Dawn! Aren't you excited? I can feel your blood pumping in your veins. You love the fight, don't you, Dawn? Maybe we should have been born krogan. Do you think a krogan Commander Shepard would be here cleaning up Aria's mess?"_ Jane asked.

"Get out of my goddamn way," Jack's voice carried up from below.

"One of yours?" Aria asked.

"Yeah," Shepard said. "Sit down, Aria. The doctor's here; let them do their thing."

 _"_ _Aw, come on Dawn, are you ignoring me now? You know that's not very nice,"_ Jane said.

"Let them up you dimwitted assholes," Aria yelled.

 _"_ _Come on, Dawn. You were doing so good. Stay with me, alright?"_ Jane parroted back Shepard's words from earlier in the day.

Jack and Dr. Chakwas climbed the stairs, Dr. Chakwas moving right to her patient.

"Lie down, you're making it worse," Dr. Chakwas said. "Oh don't look at me like that. I know who you are, Ms. T'Loak and I don't care, now lie down."

Aria snarled at the doctor but let Dr. Chakwas push her back down on the couch. One of the turian guards chuffed in amusement and Aria hit him with a Reave, sucking some of his life from him into herself as he dropped to a knee.

"What the fuck happened out there?" Jack asked.

"Mercs, and there are more on the way. EDI's calling in the rest of the team," Shepard said.

"Sweet, finally something to do," Jack said.

 _"_ _See, that's the spirit! We can always rely on Jack to look forward to a fight. Of course, you're risking her life to save Aria's. I'm not so sure that's a fair trade if things don't go according to plan. And who knows? They might not; none of this is in the script!"_ Jane said.

"For fucksake, Jane, will you shut the hell up?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _You didn't say please,"_ Jane said.

Shepard clenched her jaw and thought, "Please?"

 _"_ _Hmmmm, no, I don't think so,"_ Jane said.

"Terrel, Roc, Bray, get on the doors. No one comes in without giving Shepard's name." Aria said.

"Did you get that, EDI?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, Shepard," EDI said.

"Pass it on to the whole team," Shepard said.

"At once, Shepard. Garrus and Grundan Krul should be arriving at the back doors in less than a minute. The rest of the team is leaving the Normandy now," EDI said.

 _"_ _Oh, I do hope they get here before all of the fun starts,"_ Jane said.

"Lock the ship down once their out," Shepard said.

"Locking the Normandy down," EDI said.

Aria waved Shepard over. She crouched down next to the wounded asari.

"Why are you doing this?" Aria asked.

 _"_ _Look at her. You could kill her now so easily if you wanted to; just tell your team to walk away. You know a part of you wants to, Dawn. After the way she treated you,"_ Jane said. _"She has no respect for you, no respect for who we are. She doesn't deserve your help. And for what? So she'll throw a few mercenaries your way when the reapers come?"_

Shepard smirked. "You never know when I might need a real favor, something more than a little information."

 _"_ _Oh, you know what I just thought of? If you take down Cerberus, Cerberus will never take Omega! How lovely, you're already doing her a favor. Do you think if you tell her about it, about how you're saving her station from a future Cerberus attack she'll be nice to you?"_ Jane asked.

Aria hissed as Dr. Chakwas pulled the bullet free from her abdomen. Mordin was ready with Medi-gel and sutures. Aria studied Shepard intently before she smiled.

"I like you, Shepard. You're as ruthless as everyone says," Aria said turning her head to look up at the ceiling.

"I do what needs to be done, that's it," Shepard said.

"That right? Tell me, Shepard, do you believe your own bullshit?" Aria asked.

"Shepard, what's the plan?" Garrus asked from behind her.

She turned to see him standing at the top of the stairs with Grundan Krul at his side.

"Archangel," Aria said.

 _"_ _Oops, that can't be good,"_ Jane said.

All of Aria's guards immediately had their weapons pointed at Garrus. His mandibles fluttered.

"I'm a little surprised you found him, Shepard. Even more surprised you got him to leave Omega with you," Aria said.

"We go way back," Shepard said glancing at Aria. "You two know each other?"

"Put your damn guns away you idiots," Aria said. "Archangel and I had a little agreement. He took care of a few things for me and I let him play vigilante."

 _"_ _Took care of a few things? Now what could that possibly mean? Do you think he killed for her? Smuggled weapons for her? Drugs? Or do you think he just fucked her?"_ Jane asked.

Garrus fluttered his mandibles again. Grundan Krul turned to look at him; Shepard thought this was news to the batarian, too. Shepard stood up when she heard the noise of her team coming in down below. She headed for the stairs; Garrus fell into step next to her. Jack, Samara, and Grundan Krul behind them.

"It's not as bad as it sounds," Garrus said.

"We can talk about it later. Tell me what we're facing, what'd you see on your way here?" Shepard asked as the others moved in around her to listen.

 _"_ _You're curious. I can feel it; you want to know why he and Aria are so chummy. Will it bother you? If he fucked her? What would be worse, killing for her or smuggling weapons and drugs?"_ Jane asked.

Garrus and Grundan Krul detailed their best approximations of numbers from each band of mercs that they saw as well as the mechs and overheard mention of a gunship. Shepard suppressed a shudder as memories filled her mind of Garrus lying in a pool of his own blood, gasping for breath after having taken a rocket to the face from what was very likely the same gunship coming for them now. She looked around Afterlife.

"Fuck you, Jane," Shepard thought.

"They won't be able to get a gunship in here," Shepard said. "They'll probably station it right out front, ready to take out anyone who goes through those doors. It'll do a number on the club, possibly even cave in the entrance if we don't get it taken out quick enough. This isn't the best location for a fight."

"Don't get me wrong, Commander, I'm ready to follow orders but why _are_ we in this fight? Aria wasn't exactly warm and welcoming the last time we were here," Jacob said.

Shepard rubbed her fingers over her brow. "Because, Jacob, believe it or not, Aria is the best that this place can hope for. If she goes down, Omega will fall into real waste … and there's something to be said for having the Queen of Omega owe you one. The reapers are coming, and we'll need every body we can get in that fight."

 _"_ _What she means, Jacob, is that we're all here to beg Aria for table scraps just like good little lap dogs,"_ Jane said.

Jacob studied her, his brown eyes intense as they took measure of her words. Finally he nodded his head.

"Where do you want us?" he asked.

Shepard turned to look behind her up at Aria's office. The asari was standing in the window, looking down at Shepard and her crew. A wicked grin on her face as a hand rested over her freshly patched wound. She turned to say something to someone behind her.

"Garrus and Thane with snipers up there. Grunt and Zaeed you're up by the front door. James and Legion take the back door. Everyone else, scatter throughout and take cover when the bullets start flying," Shepard said.

Shepard turned back to the stairs in time to see Aria making her way down. Her hodgepodge mix of guards followed in her wake, like satellites locked in orbit around her. She came to a stop in front of Shepard, her head high and her shoulders back.

Aria lifted her hand and waved them away. "Go make yourselves useful. Get into position somewhere and be ready for a fight."

She waited until they had scattered, Shepard's team moving into assigned positions before speaking.

"Tell me Shepard, what is it you hope to gain from this power display?" Aria asked. "I never asked you to do this, we've made no agreement. If you think you can intimidate me with your collection of toy soldiers, with your Spectre title, then you're far more stupid than I would have guessed."

 _"_ _Tsk, tsk, tsk,"_ Jane said.

"It's not a power display, Aria." Shepard cocked her hip and crossed her arms. "Consider it a tactical move to keep someone in control that actually cares about what they have. Someone who is willing to fight to keep what they have, and when the time comes, someone who is smart enough to make the sacrifices that will be needed to make sure that Omega is able to continue to exist by helping to make sure the galaxy continues to exist."

Aria threw her head back in laughter, waving her hand around indicating something more than Afterlife. "You've come to Omega to recruit? Are you really that desperate to find someone to believe you about the reapers?"

 _"_ _She makes it so easy to want to walk away, doesn't she?"_ Jane asked.

Shepard smirked. "What makes you so sure the Council doesn't believe me? You think they'd make some big announcement, get every civilian in Council space in a panic? Come on Aria, would you tell everyone on Omega that some terrible enemy was coming at an unknown time to destroy everything they know and love and expect them to not flea for their lives leaving Omega an empty shell of what it once was? Watch as all trade ground to a halt. The economy fell. Riots erupted in the streets. Or would you hold it close to your chest, prepare in secret as best you could and do your damnedest to pull in support from every powerhouse you could reach?"

 _"_ _The scandal! Dawn, you're resorting to giving away Council secrets to Aria!"_ Jane laughed; the sound grating on Shepard's nerves.

Aria crossed her arms, all sign of mirth vanished from her face. She tapped her fingers against the white leather sleeves of her jacket, pursing her lips as she studied Shepard.

"Alright, Shepard. Suppose the reapers are real. What do you want with Omega? The people of Omega aren't exactly soldier material," Aria said.

"I'm not looking for soldiers. I'm looking for people who are willing and able to fight for what's theirs. This war won't be fought and won by soldiers alone. It'll be bigger than all of us," Shepard said.

"Save me the speech, Shepard. You're still not saying what it is you want," Aria said.

"When the time comes, Aria, you rally your troops and you send them where they can be the most useful. Not because I'm here today helping you, but because you're smart enough to know that if the reapers win, you lose," Shepard said. "Think about it."

 _"_ _You really are rather pathetic, you know that?"_ Jane said.

Grunt's voice broke through her comms. "They're here."

Shepard drew her assault rifle and activated her incendiary ammo. "It's show time."

 _"_ _Yippie-ki-yay!"_ Jane said.

Shepard turned to face the door as Aria flared, biotic energy licking around her. Grunt and Zaeed tore into the first few mercs stupid enough to approach the nightclub. Shots came from Thane, Garrus, and those few of Aria's men who were skilled with sniper rifles. The doors acted like a choke point, keeping the mercs funneled directly into the line of fire. Shepard knew it would only be a matter of time before they got smart enough to send men around to the back doors.

When Grunt and Zaeed were pushed back far enough for mercs to start spilling into the room, Shepard started shooting lighting them on fire with her incendiary ammo. Biotics flared up all around her as Aria, Miranda, Jacob, Jack, and Samara joined the fight. Kasumi appeared briefly behind a merc, sliding her blade in between the plates of his armor before disappearing again. Weapons misfired and jammed as Lia, Legion, and Grundan Krul used Sabotage and Overload to keep them as defenseless as possible.

"They're coming in the back, Commander," James yelled into his mic over the din.

Aria ordered a handful of her men to focus on the back entrance while Shepard redirected Jacob, Samara, Mordin, and Lia to the back. Shepard activated her biotic Charge and flew into the fray at the back, slamming into a krogan who had just enough time to look at her in shock before she filled him full of holes. Another krogan next to her burst into flames as Mordin used his Incinerate. Shepard danced away from his burning armor before hitting him with a Shockwave, knocking him back into several vorcha. The fire spread to the vorcha, two of which had pyro tanks strapped to their backs making for a spectacular explosion. James whooped in delight as he sprayed the doorway with his assault rifle.

Shepard felt bullets slam into the back of her armor, taking down her shields. She spun away from the spray and rolled into cover behind the bar. She peeked around the edge and saw a krogan headed right for her location. She ducked out of cover long enough to fire a few rounds, enough to keep his advance slow and cautious but not enough to do much damage.

"Shields are down and I've got a krogan charging," Shepard said into her mic.

A heartbeat later the krogan stumbled back as a bullet ripped through his skull. A second one followed it a moment later and the krogan dropped.

"He's down, Shepard, you're clear," Garrus said.

"Thanks," Shepard said ducking out of cover again to fire on a group of vorcha harrying Zaeed.

"Jack's down," Grundan Krul said.

Shepard popped out of cover, scanning the room until she spotted Grundan Krul. She vaulted over the bar, staying low as she used it as cover to cross the room and vaulted over the other side. Jack lay on her back a few feet from the batarian hunkered down behind an overturned table. Shepard grabbed jack and pulled her across the floor, wary of the broken glass filling the area until she was behind the table with Grundan Krul. She could feel that other presence in the back of her mind, filling her with worry and love for Jack. Then it was gone without a trace and the snarl of Jane returned. She checked Jack's vitals and activated her Medi-gel dispenser. Jack opened her eyes a moment later and shook her head, trying to scramble back to her feet and into the fray again. Shepard kept her down until her head was clear.

"You good?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, but I'm pissed so get out of my damn way," Jack said pushing herself up.

Shepard let her go and Jack stepped out from behind the table, throwing out a massive Shockwave she knocked down three asari and two turians. Shepard and Grundan Krul turned their attention to making sure Jack's targets didn't get back up again. Nearby, Grunt and another krogan were locked in a struggle for dominance. Grunt reared back and slammed his head into the other krogan's. The krogan stumbled back fired his shotgun, the shot missed Grunt completely and slammed into Shepard's chest, knocking her back on her ass and pushing the air from her lungs.

"Shepard's been hit," Grundan Krul's voice broke through Shepard's haze.

Jane lunged forward, pushing into Shepard's mind. Shepard gasped for air as she struggled to maintain control.

 _"_ _Use your breathing exercises now, bitch,"_ Jane said.

"Shepard, your brainwave activity is fluctuating," EDI said.

"Gods no," Shepard thought.

"Breathe, Shepard." Grundan Krul's face loomed over her's.

Jane filled her mind with memories of the batarians raiding Mindoir, of watching them slaughter her friends and family. Memories of batarians knocking innocent people to the ground before dragging them away kicking and screaming, stopping to plant a boot in their ribs. Shepard tried to scramble back away from Grundan Krul putting herself in the line of fire, her panic level skyrocketing.

"Shepard?" Grundan Krul said moving closer, putting himself between her and the mercs.

Jane pushed again, pain lancing through Shepard's skull. It felt as if Jane had wrapped her fingers around Shepard's mind, and then suddenly she yanked. Shepard's vision shifted and the voices of the others whispered all around her.

"Shepard, get up!" Garrus screamed in her earpiece.

Jane sat up and lifted her gun, firing at the handful of Blue Suns that saw her down and scented blood. Her smile shifted into a laugh as her bullets ripped through their armor, lighting them on fire. Dawn raged away inside trying to force her way back out. Jane pulled herself to her feet and dove back behind the table, grabbing Grundan Krul and dragging him with her. The batarian gave her a strange look, one she didn't remember ever seeing on his face before but then again, Jane hadn't paid that much attention to him because he was a dead man, and dead men can't fight wars. She gave him a toothy grin and winked at him.

"We're watching you, Jane. All of us," Garrus' voice hissed through her comm.

 _"_ _Garrus, please, gods please get me out of here!"_ Dawn said.

"Hush now, I'm busy," Jane thought.

Jane looked over her shoulder and up at Garrus perched in the window of Aria's office. She blew him a kiss and waved.

"We've got mechs!" Zaeed called out.

"You shouldn't be watching me; you should be watching the mechs!" Jane said into her mic.

 _"_ _Jane, why are you doing this?"_ Dawn asked.

"I was bored, and they're being loud and annoying today. Can't you just feel them in their crawling around inside your thoughts? Why _wouldn't_ I do this? It's the perfect time, all of your anti-Jane heroes are too busy fighting to stop me and of course, they can't very well take me out in the middle of this! How would they explain _that_?" Jane thought.

The bodies were piling up so thick that it was getting more and more difficult to navigate the battlefield. Jane moved back to the bar, stepping on two dead krogan in the process with a gleeful smile. She launched herself over the bar and took up position behind the curve right in front of the doors. She switched to her pistol and activated her incendiary ammo before popping up to shoot at the LOKIs coming through the foyer. When the YMIR came into sight ducking low to get through the doors and into the foyer Jane holstered her pistol and pulled her grenade launcher forward. She glanced over when Aria ducked down behind the bar beside her, her shotgun out picking off the remaining LOKI advancing on Shepard's location.

"I could kill her for you, Dawn. You want me to do that so you don't have to?" Jane thought.

 _"_ _Please,"_ Dawn sobbed. _"Please don't do this. Just let me out."_

"You're just no fun at all today," Jane thought.

The mech's shields were already drained by the time Jane got her grenade launcher up. Putting the YMIR in the crosshairs, she pulled the trigger twice. The mech stopped moving just before it exploded. Jane caught the feral grin from the asari next to her as she switched back to her pistol and gave her a wild grin of her own. Aria stood and used her biotic Lash to rip a salarian off of his feet and pull him forward, slamming him against the bar before she shot him. The flow of mercs slowed to a trickle.

"Like I said, Shepard. Ruthless," Aria said.

"You got me, Aria, what can I say?" Jane said.

"I am monitoring the mercenaries' communications. They are sounding a retreat. It appears that they have decided they have lost too many and are unable to take Afterlife at this time." EDI's voice came through the comm.

Jane turned to Aria with a pout. "They're retreating."

"Like hell they are, they made the mistake of coming back for more. I'm finishing this thing," Aria said vaulting over the bar and running for the door.

Jane slid across the top of the bar and ran after her. Aria stopped in the foyer and used her biotic Flare to knock back the few Eclipse still lingering in the entrance. Jane shot at them as they tried to recover, her shots wild meant only to keep them off their feet.

"Shepard! Shepard, where are you going?" Garrus voice was thick with concern, nearing frantic.

"After Aria!" Jane said.

Jane ran down the stairs of Afterlife and spun to the sound of gunfire. The mercs were retreating to the right; a shuttle hovered at the end of the transportation stand, its doors opened as mercs climbed inside. More on the ground fired at Aria as she ducked behind a parked skycar. The shuttle closed and flew off only to be replaced by another. Jane ducked down behind the safety railing and fired at the retreating mercs. Another shuttle filled and flew away. Another took its place. Aria yelled profanities at the retreating mercs, flinging her biotics far more than she was using her gun.

"Aria!" Jane yelled but the sound of her voice was lost over the sound of the gunship arriving.

"Fuck! We've got the gunship," Jane yelled into her mic as she switched to her grenade launcher again. "I'm going to need more heavy weapons ammo, so if there's any in there it sure would be nice to have."

"I'm on it, Ídolo," James said.

"You're a peach, James. A real peach," Jane said.

The gunship rose up, hovering above and behind the mercs' escape shuttle. Jane brought up her grenade launcher and watched in horror as a rocket left the ship. She pulled the trigger on the grenade launcher three times before ducking down again. The rocket slammed into the row of skycars, flipping them up into the air and in a twisted mass of metal and fire. Jane couldn't see Aria anywhere.

 _"_ _Gods, she couldn't survive that,"_ Dawn said.

"I didn't even have to do it for you!" Jane thought.

Jane popped out of cover and fired her last grenade. The airship maneuvered out of the way and her grenade hit the shuttle instead. The shuttle spun out of control and collided with the railing; spilling lucky mercs back out onto the transportation platform while the unlucky ones tumbled down into the darkness below. Jane whooped with delight. James was at her side with a crate of ammo. Jane riffled though it, grabbing the grenades and slamming them into her launcher. James lifted his assault rifle, giving her covering fire while she reloaded. A second later, Garrus slid behind the railing next to her and lifted his sniper rifle, aiming for the pilot.

"Garrus get out of here," Jane said.

"Not happening," Garrus said.

"That thing still has rockets," Jane said. "It would be terrible if one of those things hit you, Garrus. Might scuff up your metal plating."

 _"_ _You fucking bitch. Let me out of here. What the fuck is wrong with you?"_ Dawn pushed and pulled trying to get Jane out of her body.

"Tut, tut. I'm just reminding him of how dangerous that thing is for him. He's lucky you already saved him from that gruesome fate once," Jane thought.

He growled at her but didn't leave. She knew he wouldn't. Jane pulled the trigger once before she had to dive back under cover as the gunship let loose a spray of bullets in her direction.

"Where's Aria?" Garrus asked.

Jane nodded her head towards the flaming ruins. A rocket soared past them, inches away from where Garrus had taken cover and slammed into one of the planters that divided the path to the markets and apartments, erupting in flames. Dawn beat frantically at Jane's will. As soon as there was a pause in the fire again, Jane ducked back out and pulled the trigger twice more.

"It's going down," James said.

Jane peered over the edge to see the gunship in flames as it spun out of control before careening and crashing into the edge of the transportation platform. The platform creaked and groaned as a chunk of it was ripped loose to fall into the darkness with the gunship and the few mercs left standing there waiting for escape. More of her crew and Aria's men began spilling out of Afterlife as Jane got to her feet and ran to the mass of burning cars.

"Aria?!" Shepard yelled.

"Shepard!" Garrus yelled running after her.

"I am detecting life signs buried beneath the wreckage. Aria is still alive," EDI said.

"Hmmm. What would Dawn do here? What. Would. Dawn. Do. Oh, I know, you'd try to save her life, right? Am I right? Yeah, of course I am," Jane thought.

"Let her go, Jane!" Garrus hissed.

"I need biotics over here now!" Jane yelled into her mic.

"I can't do that, Garrus! There's a woman trapped under there, she needs our help. Dawn's fine, stop worrying," Jane said.

 _"_ _OK, Jane,"_ Dawn said sounding defeated. _"You've had your fun, you won the fight. Game's over."_

Samara was the first to Jane's side, Miranda, Jacob, and Jack hot on her heels.

"I don't think so," Jane thought as Thane stepped up next to her.

"She's still alive, we need to get this crap off of her," Jane said.

Samara flared with biotic energy, directing it at a hunk of twisted red metal near the top. The other's joined their energy with hers, Jane using her own as best she could to stabilize the mess. Miranda took control of the situation, directing the others as to which piece to move in what order casting furtive glances at Jane as they worked. When something slid that she didn't want moving, Jane moved to hold it in place for her. It took them ten minutes to get things moved enough that Jane was finally able to hear Aria's voice.

"Hurry the fuck up, I can't hold this all night!" Aria said.

A couple of minutes later, the mess was cleared enough that Jane could see Aria crouching, biotic energy pushed out around her in a small dome. There was no way that it alone had been enough to keep the cars from crushing her, but it had been enough to divert the first bits of debris that rained down on her. Those bits formed the base that held up the rest of the mess, keeping Aria alive.

"You are one lucky sonofabitch, Aria," Jane said.

 _"_ _Jane, please!"_ Dawn said. _"I can't do this, they won't shut up. They won't shut up."_

Jane smiled and stepped back between Garrus and Thane, both watching her like a hawk. She beamed at both of them.

"Garrus looks really mad," Jane thought. "Not Thane, though. Look at him; he's as calm as ever. Maybe I can actually talk to him. Do you think he'd listen?"

 _"_ _I don't know, Jane. I don't know. I'll talk to him for you, tell him whatever you want, just please let me out,"_ Dawn said.

"It's safe to let go. It's stable enough that you should be able to crawl out now," Miranda said.

Aria hesitantly dropped her dome, letting it slowly fizzle away before crawling out from beneath the remainder of the mess. Aria stood and brushed ash from her jacket, squaring her shoulders.

"You're welcome," Miranda said.

Aria smirked at Miranda and walked past her back to Afterlife. Jane's team moved in around her as she followed the asari up the stairs. Jane waved everyone else inside and stopped outside of the nightclub, Thane and Garrus grinding to a halt next to her. Jane stood and watched as the Queen of Omega strolled down the foyer to go back to her throne.

 _"_ _Please,"_ Dawn said.

Aria waved a hand around. "Somebody clean up this mess. I want this place back open tonight, I'm losing money."

She turned to Garrus and reached for his face but he jerked away. "I really am sorry about that whole shooting you thing. You should probably be ready to catch her, she's probably going to drop when I let go."

Jane let go.


	52. Chapter 29: Destroy

**Chapter 29: Destroy**

"No, I'm fine. I need to do what we came here to do. This entire fucking mess might have already spooked Morinth. She might not even be at Afterlife tonight," Shepard said. "If she's not, I need to find her before she leaves Omega. I'm not going to do this to Samara. I'm just not. Their damn scans can wait."

Garrus pulled his mandibles in tight. "Shepard, you just collapsed in my arms after being taken for a joyride. You are not fine. You agreed to go to Dr. Chakwas right away when this happens."

Shepard threw her arms out to her sides before letting her hands fall down to slap against her thighs. "What good are the scans going to do, Garrus? Jane isn't some disease that they can find a cure for it they just keep looking."

"No, but maybe they can find a way to kill her – destroy her connection, whatever!" Garrus said.

"I don't want that, Garrus." Shepard paced back and forth between Thane and Garrus. "And even if I did, you don't know what something like that would do to me! Jane is a part of me, what if destroying her leaves me brain dead or something?"

"They'd never do it if they weren't certain they could do it without hurting you, but you've got to give them the chance to try and understand what's going on here," Garrus said.

"You don't understand. It – it isn't her fault. I … I can't just cut her out of me because things went bad," Shepard said.

"Spirits. She torments you on a daily basis and you're _defending_ her?" Garrus' shook his head in bewilderment before looking to Thane. "See if you can talk some sense into her. Maybe she'll listen to you."

"Garrus, the scans can wait. Will you just trust me to look after my own health, please?" Shepard asked.

"I'm afraid that it's not either of them that you need to convince, Commander." Dr. Chakwas walked toward them, stopping to lean against the doorframe and crossed her arms.

Shepard growled in frustration. "Twenty minutes, just you. If they need something scanned, poked, or prodded you can do it for them. I'm not wasting all night on this."

"Thirty minutes, and you come back for more tests when you're through with your mission," Dr. Chakwas countered.

"Dr. Chakwas, I –," Shepard said.

"Siha," Thane said.

Shepard looked at him and he raised an eyebrow. She looked to Garrus and he flared his mandibles, brow plates raised. She looked back at Dr. Chakwas and the woman smiled, knowing she had won. Shepard growled again and crossed her arms.

"Fine. But one of you is figuring out a legitimate sounding excuse to tell Samara. EDI, call them back to the Normandy," Shepard turned and stormed off for the airlock. "Someone tell Aria I'll be back in a half hour."

Dr. Chakwas followed Shepard back to the Normandy and watched her with crossed arms as they waited for EDI to get the doors back opened. Shepard walked onto the Normandy without saying a word to anyone and took the elevator to the med bay. Dr. Chakwas remained just as silent beside her.

"Alright, what do you need me to do?" Shepard asked.

"For starters, remove your armor," Dr. Chakwas said. "And then you can try to remember that we're trying to help you, Commander."

Shepard sighed as she worked at the clips on her armor. "I know, doc, I know. There's just so much I'm trying to do here. So much I'm trying to balance and find time for and I can't do that if I'm having to stop to run to the med bay to get scanned every five minutes."

"Is it happening every five minutes?" Dr. Chakwas looked up from her omni-tool with a raised eyebrow.

Shepard groaned. "You know what I mean."

"Sit down, Shepard." Dr. Chakwas said waving a hand at the bed. "I can't begin to imagine how incredibly frustrating this is for you, but you have to know that this is a serious matter. Jane is clearly unstable, and unpredictable. Unfortunately, the one person that I knew who could have helped Jane is no longer alive … so it is my job to do what I can to help you instead."

"I'm so sorry about Dr. Tulina. I didn't know that was going to happen … I'm sorry," Shepard said.

"Mmm. She was pregnant. I was going to be a father," Dr. Chakwas said beginning the scans.

Shepard's jaw dropped. "I – I … gods, Karin, I'm so sorry."

Dr. Chakwas gave Shepard a grim smile. "You've never called me that before, Commander. I guess something like this does tend to rip formality apart. We hadn't told anyone yet. We were waiting for the right time. I'm not sure when I thought that would be … but it doesn't matter now."

Shepard threw her arms around the woman in front of her, crushing her to her chest. Dr. Chakwas let out a startled gasp followed by a soft chuckle. She wrapped her arms around Shepard and patted her back.

"It's alright, Commander. I've had more than two years now to deal with the loss. I've accepted it as much as anyone can with these things." Dr. Chakwas pulled away with a sniffle and wiped a tear from her eye before clearing her throat. "Here now, sit still if you want out of this med bay and back out on Omega in thirty minutes."

Shepard watched the doctor as she worked, running her omni-tool at a snail's pace over and around Shepard's head. She offered her arm without complaint when Dr. Chakwas asked for a blood sample and even kept quiet when she asked to swab the inside of Shepard's mouth, even though Shepard really didn't see the point in that. When finally Dr. Chakwas said she could leave, Shepard rearmed and re-armored herself before stopping next to the med bay door.

"You've already lost so much working with me. Why do you stay?" Shepard asked.

Dr. Chakwas took a deep breath and smiled. "Because I didn't lose you, too, dear. Even if it seemed that way for a while. You're going to figure this all out and make those collector sonsofbitches pay, and then you're going to shove your boot right up those reapers' asses and I'm going to be there to put you back together again when you do."

Shepard laughed. "Such language, doc. I love it."

Dr. Chakwas chuckled. "Besides, who else will make sure Joker takes his medication?"

Shepard grinned and left the med bay, having EDI call Samara and Mordin back out to the airlock as she went. She took the elevator up to the CIC and waited with Mordin until Samara arrived. Mordin watched her with steady eyes, making her feel as if she were a specimen he wanted to dissect.

"I'm fine," Shepard said.

Mordin smiled. "Was considering possibility of drawing Jane out intentionally. Under secure conditions, of course. Direct observation, tests during phenomenon. Would provide more information, allow more insight. Was unable to observe much, many distractions in battle. Behavior fascinating, relatively normal. Continued to fight, saved Aria, surrendered control voluntarily."

Shepard cast a wary glance at Mordin as the elevator opened and Samara walked out. "We'll talk about this later."

Mordin smiled and turned his attention to Samara as she approached. Samara had a concerned look on her face when she stopped in front of Shepard.

"Shepard, are you well? They said you were injured and being tended to in the med bay," Samara said.

"Shotgun blast to chest, bruised ribs. Nothing serious," Mordin said.

Shepard glanced at Mordin and he blinked. "Yeah, I'm good. They just wanted to make sure nothing was broken before the implants caused a bone to mend wrong. You ready?"

"I see. Yes, I am ready," Samara said.

Shepard saw something in the asari's eyes that unsettled her. Just as the day they first met, Shepard felt like Samara was seeing something in her no one else could. It was unnerving. They left the airlock and made their way back into Omega. The twisted mass of metal still smoldered on what was left of the transportation platform, but no one seemed to care enough to put it out. The area was still empty, Shepard imagined that in a lawless place like Omega, when something this big went down people closed up shop and locked themselves away until the dust settled.

Shepard was shocked to find that the foyer was already cleared of bodies and Aria's goons were at work cleaning blood off the floor. A couple of them looked up when she walked in but quickly averted their eyes and got back to work. Bodies still littered the floor in the bar itself but men were working to fix that.

"Where are they taking the bodies?" Samara asked.

"I don't think I want to know," Shepard said.

"Incinerators," Mordin said.

Shepard shuddered. They picked their way through the mess where they were waved up the stairs by guards. Shepard spotted Aria sitting on her couch, her arms spread wide across the back of the cushions with a smug grin of satisfaction on her face.

"Shepard, you ran off so fast, I thought perhaps you'd changed your mind about chasing down your Ardat-Yakshi," Aria said.

Shepard climbed the steps and stopped in front of Aria. "Doctor insisted on looking at my ribs. I'm fine, by the way."

Aria stood and turned her back to Shepard, looking out over her bar. "You did me a favor, Shepard. That doesn't make us friends, so don't mistake me for someone who cares. Your Ardat-Yakshi's latest victim lived in the tenements, to the left when you leave here. Follow the signs. I'm sure her distraught mother can give you some information."

"You have known of her existence, and you have done nothing to kill her?" Samara asked.

"She isn't my problem; she hasn't tried seducing me or messed with my business. Why should I care?" Aria asked.

"You are asari, it is the way with Ardat-Yakshi," Samara said.

"This isn't Thessia, Justicar," Aria said.

Shepard stepped up next to Aria. "Think you'll get this place opened tonight?"

Aria glanced at Shepard. "Someone's going to lose their head if those doors aren't open for business in the next hour."

"We should get going. Thanks, Aria," Shepard said turning to leave.

"Good luck," Aria said.

Shepard led Samara and Mordin out of Afterlife and to the neighborhood Nef, Morinth's last victim lived. She made a show of asking one of the very few people they saw on the street about where the family of the dead girl lived. Lucky for her, they pointed her right at Nef's apartment so Shepard didn't have to waste more time pretending she didn't already know.

They knocked on Nef's door and her mother answered, right away she wanted to know if they had come about her daughter. Shepard and Samara spent some time talking to the woman, gathering what information they could. Mordin stood at a respectful distance, but still listened intently. He waited in the living room while Shepard and Samara looked over Nef's bedroom and watched her video logs. Jane was silent, worn out from her latest success at seizing control, nothing more than a faint static in the back of Shepard's mind. Still, Shepard remembered enough on her own having reviewed the memories in anticipation for Samara's mission. She just wasn't sure how much of it remained relevant with Afterlife in shambles. She wished she had thought to ask Aria just how much of the multileveled nightclub had been damaged in the attacks. If Morinth wasn't in Afterlife, Shepard needed a plan; an excuse to get into her apartment.

Shepard listened as Samara ran through her plan to send Shepard in alone and unarmed in the hopes of attracting Morinth's attention. Samara questioned whether Shepard thought Afterlife would indeed be open as Aria insisted. Shepard told her that Aria would open the place even if there was still blood on the walls if she had to, and that it was possible that the VIP room hadn't even been touched.

"Of course, that doesn't mean that Morinth will show tonight," Shepard said. "The place might be pretty empty after the mercs."

"I think she will have been drawn to the destruction. She will be curious to see who lived and who died," Samara said.

Shepard nodded her head. "Alright. If nothing else, maybe we can get more information. Maybe find out where she lives."

"I would be careful what you ask. If word gets back to Morinth that someone is looking for her, she will likely flee," Samara said.

"Let me talk to Mordin for a minute. Maybe you can see if Nef's mother can remember anything else," Shepard said.

Shepard left the bedroom and excused herself and Mordin before leading him outside. "OK, so I know that everyone thinks that I need someone to watch over me in case Jane does something and right now that's supposed to be you, but Samara and I have to go this one alone."

Mordin opened his omni-tool and waved it in front of Shepard before looking at the screen. "Will see you back on the Normandy. Much to discuss. Many tests to run."

"That's it?" Shepard's eyebrows shot up.

"Not a child, Shepard. Commander of Normandy. Am part of Normandy crew. Jane sparks scientific curiosity, concern perhaps." Mordin shook his head resolutely. "Does not negate command structure."

Shepard smiled. "Thanks Mordin. Hey, don't let the others give you any flak for this, OK? If they say anything, point them in my direction."

Mordin nodded and turned to walk away when Shepard called out to him.

"Hey, Mordin. I forgot in all the commotion. You want to stop by and check on your clinic before you leave?" Shepard asked. "I know that place meant a lot to you."

He smiled. "Will head there now."

"Good," Shepard said as she waved goodbye.

Shepard stepped back inside the apartment and smiled as Samara put a reassuring hand on the woman's shoulder. Samara whispered something to the woman and she nodded her head, wiping tears from her eyes. Samara left the brokenhearted woman to her mourning and rejoined Shepard.

"Are you ready, Commander?" Samara asked.

"Yeah, I just need to make a stop in the markets before we go," Shepard said.

"As you wish, Commander," Samara said following Shepard out of the apartment.

Shepard led Samara down to the markets and straight to Kenn's Salvage where the young quarian was busy working. She asked Samara to give her a moment, leaving Samara a little ways away as she approached the counter.

"Excuse me?" Shepard said.

His head jerked up and he looked around, the sparks from his wielding dying down. "Hello there. Might I interest you in some salvaged tech? Every credit goes toward a ticket to get me off this forsaken rock."

"Not fond of Omega?" Shepard asked.

"I don't think Omega is fond of me," Kenn said.

"Are you on your Pilgrimage? Omega's a rough spot for a Pilgrimage," Shepard said browsing through his kiosk.

"I am … or at least I was. Omega wasn't supposed to be a final destination, but everything I had got stolen when I got here so I've been running this place trying to save up enough credits to get on with my Pilgrimage." Kenn leaned against the counter. "It hasn't been easy though, Harrot – he runs a stall down the way – he's forcing me to keep my prices high so that customers will go to him instead of me. I don't want any trouble, so I've done what he asks."

"Where are you trying to go?" Shepard asked.

Kenn shrugged. "Anywhere is better than here."

"How much do you need?" Shepard asked.

"I still need a thousand credits to get a ticket, at the rate of business here though, that could take quite a while. I'm a little surprised you know about the Pilgrimage, not many who aren't quarian do," Kenn said.

Shepard smiled and said, "One of my best friends is a quarian. I've also got a quarian crew member on her Pilgrimage right now."

Shepard scanned her credit chit and completed her purchases, making sure to grab the FBA couplings for Ken and Gabby down in engineering. Kenn pushed away from the counter to check the screen to see what he needed to get for her.

"Wow, you're seriously buying all of this?" Kenn asked.

"I am," Shepard said.

"I – hey listen, let me give you a discount, but just don't tell Harrot, OK?" Kenn said.

"Sure, I appreciate that," Shepard said.

"I can't tell you how much this will help me, thank you. I can have your purchases delivered to your ship in the next hour," Kenn said.

"Actually, I've got a proposition for you, Kenn." Shepard leaned her elbows on the counter.

"Oh, uh, what kind of a proposition?" Kenn asked.

Shepard couldn't help but to smile at the hint of nervousness in his voice. "I have something I have to do on the station that requires me to leave my armor and weapons behind. I need a place to store them for a while. Going back to my ship right now would draw attention that I don't need."

"So … you want me to watch your stuff for you?" Kenn asked.

"Well, I was thinking you could deliver them to my ship along with my purchases," Shepard said.

Kenn shifted nervously.

Shepard lifted off her helmet, letting her hair fall loose and exposing her full face. "And in exchange, you can have your pick of either the thousand credits you need for your ticket or a free ride to the Citadel."

"I – that sounds too simple. What's the catch? Is it something you stole … or something dangerous?" Kenn asked.

"Well, we're talking about guns and armor so dangerous, yeah technically but it's not stolen," Shepard said.

Kenn studied her for a moment and then cocked his head to the side. "Wait. Do I … do I know you?"

Shepard smiled and extended her hand, "Probably. Commander Shepard, Council Spectre."

"Oh. Oh!" Kenn took her hand and gave it an enthusiastic shake. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Spectre – Commander … I don't know what to call you."

Shepard laughed and said, "Shepard's fine."

"Shepard," Kenn said.

"So? What'll it be?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, absolutely but I can't ask you to do either of those things. It'll be an honor to help you, really," Kenn said.

"I insist, Kenn." Shepard started taking out her weapons, checking to make sure the safety was on and removing the clips.

"Oh, uh … I guess a ride to the Citadel would be wonderful … if you're going there anyway. I mean, Spectres have to go there all the time, right?" Kenn asked.

"Not all the time, but often enough. It's our next stop, we'll be leaving Omega tonight if everything goes according to plan," Shepard said opening her omni-tool.

Shepard called Samara over to help her out of her armor and watched as Kenn packed it all away carefully into crates. She asked him for his extranet address and then sent him a message to show to Miranda Lawson when he arrived at the Normandy. He read the message and nodded enthusiastically, repeating Miranda's name aloud.

"Are you sure you can handle all of this yourself? I've got a salarian still on the station, I can send him up to escort you back to the Normandy," Shepard said.

"Oh no, I've got it, no problem at all, ma'am," Kenn said.

"Thanks." Shepard turned to look at Samara. "How do I look?"

Samara reached out unexpectedly and adjusted Shepard's hair before nodding her head in approval. Shepard smiled before leading the way to the Afterlife VIP room. Samara pulled Shepard aside and ran through the plan again, reminding Shepard that she wouldn't be alone.

Shepard put a hand on Samara's shoulder. "I've got it, Samara."

"Please be careful, Shepard. I do not think you truly understand what she is capable of," Samara said.

"I'll be careful, I promise," Shepard said.

They made their way to the VIP entrance and stopped in front of the bouncer.

"What do you want?" the hooded turian asked stepping forward.

"Jaruut sent me, said this was the place to be. Better than anywhere else on Omega," Shepard said trying to recall what the others had said before.

The turian nodded his head to the door. "Go on in. Word to the wise: start a fight, we'll hurt you. Someone attacks you, it's OK to defend yourself."

"Got it," Shepard said walking through the door.

The hall was mostly empty, only a couple leaned against the far wall making out, their hands disappearing inside each other's clothing. Samara stopped near a stack of crates in the shadows near the door.

"I will wait here. Do not hesitate to come and speak with me if you feel uncertain, Shepard. We cannot afford mistakes here or Morinth will run," Samara said.

"I won't let that happen, Samara. If Morinth is here, we'll get her," Shepard said.

"Thank you, Shepard, for understanding my plight and allowing me to share this burden with you. I know that it is not a simple thing that I ask of you, and it is not something that I ask lightly. I cannot imagine sharing this burden with anyone else," Samara said.

"I'm honored that you trusted me to help you with this," Shepard said.

Samara smiled and bowed her head, stepping back into the shadows. Shepard went through the next door and stopped. The VIP was overflowing with people. More than she remembered ever seeing here in any of Jane's memories. The music was louder as more bodies pressed together on the dance floor. Shepard had expected Afterlife to be quieter after the attacks on the nightclub, but instead it seemed as if people had flocked to the place.

"Fantastic," Shepard grumbled under her breath.

 _"_ _You can do this,"_ he said.

Shepard nearly jumped, startled by the sudden intrusion of the masculine voice in her head after the extended silence from Jane.

"Uh, hello?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I'm here,"_ he said. _"I'll walk you through it if you need some help."_

"Who are you?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Commander John Shepard, at your service, ma'am,"_ John said.

"Are you the one who's been … leaking through?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Yes ma'am. I apologize that I haven't been able to be of more help. Jane doesn't make things easy for us in here these days,"_ John said.

"Where is she? Where is Jane?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _She's still here. She's just resting and I'm doing what I can to keep her that way for as long as I can. I'm awful sorry about the things she's been doing, ma'am,"_ John said.

"So it's just you right now?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Well, the others can still hear you of course, and I can hear them just fine, but Jane is out of commission for a while,"_ John said.

Shepard made her way into the bar, pushing past the crowd of people. "You sound more, uh …"

 _"_ _Sane?"_ John asked.

"I was trying to find a nicer way of putting it, but yes," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Not a one of us in here is sane anymore, ma'am. Some of us are just worse off than others,"_ John said.

"OK, you have to know that I'm not fond of that ma'am crap, right?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Sorry, Commander. Old habits and all. I don't know how long I've got, so let me get you through what I can,"_ John said. _"I recognize a few of the people here. There on your twelve, that turian is harassing that asari dancer."_

Shepard remembered them, too, from what she'd already seen of Jane's memories. She made her way to them out on the dance floor. When she was close enough to hear their conversation she stepped up next to the asari and crossed her arms.

"Hey asshole, I'm sorry that you're too ugly to get anyone to sleep with you without paying for it, but as the lady said she's not a hooker," Shepard said. "So back the fuck off."

John chuckled in Shepard's mind. _"Well that was eloquent. I see why Jack has taken a liking to you."_

"Mind your own business, unless you're offering." The turian looked her up and down. "I'll pay you half of what I would have paid her."

John chuckled. _"That was stupid."_

Shepard laughed and shook her head. "Oh I'm going to enjoy this."

She stepped forward and punched the turian in his mandible before sweeping him off of his feet. He landed on his back, just barely avoiding having the spikes of his crest stab into the hard floor. Shepard grabbed his arm and flipped him to his stomach before he fully even understood the predicament he'd found himself in. She kneeled, scooping her arm beneath his chin and pulling him back, her knee jammed into his spine.

 _"_ _You're already incorporating his training into combat, interesting,"_ John said.

"If it works, it works," Shepard thought.

"Apologize to the lady," Shepard said.

The asari stood above the turian, her arms crossed and a satisfied smile on her face. The turian choked and stuttered out something.

"I didn't quite catch that," Shepard said.

"I'm sorry," the turian said.

"Good, now get your sorry ass out of here." Shepard released him and stepped back.

The turian scrambled to his feet and pushed his way through the crowd, headed straight for the door. The asari smiled at Shepard.

"That made my night, thanks," she said.

"Happy to help," Shepard said.

"Do you think she saw that with this many people around?" Shepard thought moving through the crowd again.

 _"_ _I don't know. She'll see you eventually, though. Alright, see that jittery looking guy over there at your two?"_ John asked.

"Yeah. He uh," Shepard paused to search for what she could remember. "His partner is in trouble or something, right? Is that really the kind of thing that would get Morinth's attention?"

 _"_ _Does it really matter, Commander? The woman will die if you don't help her,"_ John said.

"Right, OK. I'm on it," Shepard thought.

Shepard made her way over to the man. "Hey, you're looking a little freaked out. Everything alright? You need a doctor or something?"

He rubbed his neck and glanced over at his friend sitting at a table with a gang leader. Shepard followed his gaze.

"I uh, no I don't need a doctor. But I could use some help. My friend's in trouble and I don't know what to do," he said.

"What kind of trouble is your friend in?" Shepard asked.

Shepard listened as the man laid out the situation and what he needed from her. Shepard nodded reassuringly and told him she would take care of things. She made her way over to Moirall's table and dropped the words 'terminal' and 'eternity'. Shepard watched as the woman made an excuse and left the table before moving off into the crowd. She worked the bar for a half hour, dancing, playing aloof when people hit on her but still nothing from Morinth. Shepard kept her eyes open, scanning the bar as nonchalantly as she could.

"I don't think she's here," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _She's here,"_ John said.

"How can you be sure?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Because I … I know Morinth. I know her well. I'm one of the one's she got to,"_ John said.

"What do you mean, 'got to'?" Shepard thought.

John showed her a scene where he stood watching Morinth and Samara square off. Morinth trying to sway him, convince him to take her with him instead of Samara. Shepard felt the pull that John felt, the confusion, the seduction. She blinked away the image when John intervened, pulling Samara's arm back so that Morinth could kill her mother. She swallowed back the bitter taste it left in her mouth and looked around the bar. Her eyes landed on Morinth, watching her. Shepard lifted the corner of her mouth and turned away, rebuffing a man's attempts to get her to dance with him.

She pushed through the crowd and ordered a drink before turning to lean against the bar, glass in hand. Shepard sipped at it casually, letting her eyes roam over the dance floor. She swung her head back around and spotted Morinth, gliding through the crowd straight for her. The crowd parted away from Morinth, Shepard wondered if it was the instinctual sensing of a predator on the prowl or if she was that well known at the nightclub. Shepard took a swallow from her glass and watched Morinth doing her best to portray mild curiosity and nothing more. Morinth came to a stop a couple of feet away from Shepard. Shepard took another swallow from her drink and watched as Morinth looked her over from head to toe.

"I've been watching you," Morinth said.

"That right?" Shepard asked swirling the ice around in her glass.

"Mmm. I hear the whispers. They say that you're Commander Shepard," Morinth said.

Shepard's jaw clenched involuntarily. She took a sip of her brandy and forced a smile.

 _"_ _Just run with it, see where it goes. This thing isn't over just because she knows who you are,"_ John said.

"Not tonight. Tonight I'm just Dawn," Shepard said.

 _"_ _That's good, I like that,"_ John said.

"Dawn. I like that, there's nothing more beautiful than watching an actual sunrise after a long night. I haven't see you here before, Dawn. My name's Morinth," Morinth said.

Shepard shrugged. "I don't make it to Omega often, but I figured it was time for a little shore leave while I was here."

Morinth twisted at the waist, looking back over her shoulder. "I've got a booth over there in the shadows. It's quieter over there, why don't you come sit with me?"

Shepard took a second to look over Morinth, Samara had been right; the Ardat-Yakshi had a way of pulling people in just by existing. Shepard pursed her lips and nodded, taking another sip of her brandy and pushing away from the bar. Morinth turned, the crowd clearing for her once more as she led the way back to her table.

 _"_ _Careful Commander, don't let her pull you in,"_ John said.

"I didn't see you with anyone. Did you come here alone; no one from your crew with you?" Morinth asked.

"I spend day after day with them. It's nice to get away for a little while," Shepard said.

"This doesn't feel right," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Walk away if you want to, Commander, but you know that you won't get another chance,"_ John said.

"So what do you do on shore leave, Dawn?" Morinth asked.

"Depends on where I'm at," Shepard said with a shrug pulling in bits of memories from John. "I like to check out the clubs, see if there's anyone interesting around to talk to and if not, then I'm happy if they have good music."

"What do you think of Afterlife?" Morinth asked.

Shepard looked around the club, considering her answer. She forced her eyes to keep gliding past the all too familiar turian and drell she spotted sitting at a table together a few booths down. Morinth's back was to them, but something in her gut told her she knew they were there and watching Shepard. At least they were making an effort to not be obvious.

"I like it; it has a dark feel to it. The music is good. Gets inside my head; I feel like I could lose myself in it. What about you?" Shepard asked.

"They shouldn't be here," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Can't say that I'm surprised that they are, Commander,"_ John said.

"You took the words right out of my mouth. I find myself attracted to dark things. Dangerous things. Music has to get inside you, speak to your soul," Morinth said.

"Yeah. I've heard good things about a band called Expel Ten. I haven't had the chance to check them out yet though," Shepard said.

"Why don't we get out of here? I've got some of Expel Ten's music back at my place. I'd love to have you all to myself for a while," Morinth said.

Shepard finished her drink and sat her empty glass back down on the table. "Why not?"

Morinth smiled and stood and headed for the door. Shepard followed her lead, throwing a warning glance back over her shoulder at Garrus and Thane while mouthing the words 'stand down'. She pushed forward, walking next to Morinth and smiled at the asari when she turned to look at Shepard.

"This feel a little too easy to you?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Yeah, yeah it does. Keep your eyes opened and don't let her get in your head,"_ John said. _"She's … she's waking up. I'm sorry, Commander."_

"What? No, John wait," Shepard thought. "John? John?"

 _"_ _John isn't available right now, can I take a message?"_ Jane asked.

"Damn it," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Come on, Dawn. You didn't really think he'd be able to keep me down forever, did you?"_ Jane asked. _"Oh gods, you were seriously hoping that he would."_

"What do you think about the shootout at Afterlife earlier?" Morinth asked as they walked.

"I heard it was some mercs trying to take down Aria," Shepard said.

 _"_ _She's taking you the wrong way,"_ Jane said.

"What? Are you sure?" Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Absolutely. Unless she's living somewhere else this time, her apartment is back the other way,"_ Jane said.

"I heard you were there, right in the thick of it fighting alongside Aria," Morinth said.

Shepard heard gunshots and shouting back the way she came. She turned to look over her shoulder but they had already turned too many corners for Shepard to catch even a glimpse.

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Damn it. Gods please tell me that isn't them," Shepard thought.

"You could say I owed Aria a favor," Shepard said.

 _"_ _I think you're in trouble, Dawn. Want me to handle this one?"_ Jane asked.

"Fuck off, Jane," Shepard thought.

"Aria owed me a favor, we're even now," Morinth said. "She sent someone to tell me that you had a Justicar with you, Samara, and that you were looking for me."

Shepard stopped in her tracks. Morinth spun to face Shepard.

"I think she expected me to run. It would make Aria quite happy if I weren't on Omega anymore, but she'd never try to get rid of me herself." Morinth took a step toward Shepard. "I hear whispers that you're recruiting, Dawn. Looking for an army to fight your wars. I can be that for you, I can be everything that my mother is and more. All you have to do is kill her and I will be free to go with you. You'd like that, wouldn't you, Dawn?"

Shepard could feel Morinth's mind pressing against hers, a gentle whisper filled with promises of ecstasy. Shepard shook her head, trying to clear her mind and pushed back against the sensation. Morinth's eyes widened.

"That's never going to happen," Shepard said.

Morinth lunged at Shepard, wrapping her hand around the base of Shepard's skull. She pressed against Shepard's consciousness again. Shepard punched Morinth in the jaw. The asari took a step back but didn't let go of Shepard.

"You're strong, Dawn, but I'm stronger. You want to kill Samara for me, don't you, Dawn? Tell me that you want to kill her," Morinth said pushing harder, wrapping her warped, black tentacles around Shepard's will to resist.

 _"_ _I'm right here if you need me, Dawn. All you have to do is ask,"_ Jane said.

"Fuck you." Shepard said, wrapping Morinth up in a Reave.

Morinth grit her teeth and dove forcefully into Shepard's mind. Shepard's mind exploded with a thousand angry voices, shoving themselves back through the deadly link Morinth established.

 _"_ _No, no, she can't have us. Don't let her take us. Kill her, kill her!"_ The voices blurred together, a cacophony of insanity. _"Turn her into a banshee! She's a banshee. A banshee, kill her now before she screams."_

A red haze filled Shepard's vision as the suddenly terror stricken Ardat-Yakshi started to sink to her knees pulling at Shepard, forcing her to squat down.

"What are you?" Morinth's lips moved but her voice was lost in the chaos.

Shepard could feel her feeble attempts to sever the link. Morinth tried desperately to pull back, to push forward, but nothing helped. A tear slid down Morinth's cheek, her lips trembled. Her body gave out and she became dead weight, held up only by her hand wrapped around Shepard's head utterly unable to let go. Shepard could feel the life leaving Morinth, that spark inside of her slowly extinguishing. And it made her feel like a goddess.

When at last Morinth was dead, the link was severed at the sudden silence was deafening. Morinth's hand fell away from Shepard and her body fell lifeless to the floor. Blood trickled from the Ardat-Yakshi's eyes and nose. Shepard smiled.

Garrus was there, lifting her to her feet. Thane leaned down and checked Morinth for a pulse. Samara looked between Shepard and Morinth, unable to put right in her mind what her eyes were telling her. Samara's lips moved, but Shepard heard no sound. Garrus spun her around to face him. His talons digging into her arms as the iris of his visor contracted and expanded, contracted and expanded.

"Shepard!" Garrus' voice broke through the silence sounding a mile away.

"It's alright, we killed her," Shepard said soothingly.

More and more sounds began to break through growing in volume. Shepard felt something wet on her cheek and reached up to touch it, pulling her hand away she saw blood.

"Spirits," Garrus said crushing her against his armor.

"We should leave before more of her men arrive," Thane said.

"She is truly dead?" Samara asked.

"Indeed," Thane said.

"I do not understand," Samara said.

"Samara, we need to go. We've got to get Shepard out of here before anyone else shows up," Garrus said.

"Yes, of course," Samara said.

Garrus turned, a hand wrapped around Shepard's upper arm. Shepard took two steps and the world tilted around her just before everything went black.

She awoke back in the med bay of the Normandy, a bright light shining in her eyes. Shepard put up a hand, trying to block the light.

"How are you feeling, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas voice cut through the last of the haze.

"The implants have already cleared the subconjunctival hemorrhaging, and her cranial pressure has returned to normal," Miranda said.

"I feel fine, doc, get that light out of my face would you?" Shepard said trying to sit up.

Strong turian hands pushed her back to the bed. "You're not moving until Dr. Chakwas clears you, Shepard. I'll hold you here until the reapers come if I have to."

"Physically she's fine, though I have half a mind to call in a psychologist to have her evaluated. What were you thinking, Commander? No back up, no armor, no weapons?" Dr. Chakwas scolded.

"It wasn't supposed to go down like that," Shepard said looking around the room to see who else was present and finding Thane tucked back in a corner watching her. "It's never happened like that before. She knew we were coming for her, Aria sold me out."

"Are you sure it was Aria?" Garrus asked.

"That's what Morinth said," Shepard said.

"That doesn't make any sense, Aria is the one who told us where to find you and how to get into the VIP," Garrus said.

"It makes perfect sense for Aria, she settled two debts and was pretty much guaranteed to get rid of one nuisance or another," Shepard said trying to sit up again.

Garrus looked at Dr. Chakwas and she nodded so Garrus let Shepard go. Garrus turned and walked away.

"Where are you going?" Shepard asked.

"To rip Aria's throat out," Garrus said.

"No, Garrus. Leave Aria alone," Shepard said. "That's an order."

"She tried to have you killed, Shepard. There's no way I'm letting that slide." Garrus growled.

"I said stand down!" Shepard raised her voice and slid off the bed, moving closer to Garrus. "Why is it that the only fucking person on this ship that seems to remember that _I_ am in command is the same one who would gleefully cut my head open and dissect my brain if only he could put it back together again?"

Garrus' mandibles clacked tight against his jaw and he crossed his arms as Shepard began to pace in front of him. Thane shifted in his corner. Miranda took a step forward, Dr. Chakwas a step back. She held her hand out to them.

She stopped pacing and stood in front of Garrus once more before continuing in a calmer tone. "OK, that's not exactly fair. But my point still stands, Garrus. I told you to do something, as the Commander of this ship, and I expect you to listen. I understand that you are upset with Aria, and rightfully so. I'm not happy about this either but killing Aria is not the way to handle this."

"Understood, Commander. Is there anything else or may I be dismissed?" Garrus said.

Shepard's shoulders sagged and she shook her head. "Go."

Garrus turned and marched out of the med bay. Shepard watched him walk past the windows, shooting a pissed off glare at her on his way to the main battery. Thane moved to the door, his hands tucked behind his back.

"Thane?" Shepard said.

He paused and turned to her. "Yes, Siha?"

"That order was meant for everyone," Shepard said.

Thane's lips twitched at the corners before he bowed to her. "As you wish, Shepard."

Thane left the med bay. Shepard ran a hand through her hair and turned to Dr. Chakwas and Miranda.

"What happened with the Ardat-Yakshi, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"You know what an Ardat-Yakshi is?" Shepard asked.

"Samara informed us when you were brought into the med bay, she was concerned after you collapsed that the Ardat-Yakshi had caused you permanent damage," Miranda said.

"She tried to convince me to kill Samara for her and take her on as part of the crew instead. When I resisted her … compulsion, she forced a melding with me and tried to kill me. The others killed her instead." Shepard shrugged. "It was like they held open her link and bombarded her with crazy."

"You're lucky to be alive, Commander. It looks like Jane has saved your life again," Dr. Chakwas said.

"You need to run more scans right now, doc?" Shepard asked.

"We took care of it while you were unconscious," Miranda said.

"We have everything we need, for now. You're free to go, Commander," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Thank the gods," Shepard said turning to the door.

"Commander?" Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard turned back to the doctor and raised an eyebrow. Dr. Chakwas crossed the room to stand in front of Shepard and put an encouraging hand on Shepard's arm.

"Give Garrus some time. I know he probably doesn't talk about it much, but when you died it destroyed him," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard winced.

"I know that's hard for you to hear, and I am sorry. He loves you, Commander, and I know that you love him. None of this can be easy for either of you. He only wants to protect you," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard rubbed the back of her neck. "He's hoping that you guys will find a way to destroy Jane and the others."

Jane and the others remained silent, not even a whisper of static in her mind. Shepard wasn't surprised; Jane was always quiet for a while after making a move to take Shepard. Even longer when she succeeded. Whatever that was on Omega, they were all in on it and it must have taken a lot out of them all.

"Is that what you want?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

Shepard shook her head. "No. I know she's trouble but she's been through hell, too. More hell than any of us. I still think that there's a chance she can pull herself together again. I see her trying, sometimes at least."

"Have you told him this?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"Yeah, but he doesn't want to hear it. All he sees in Jane now is something that is a threat to me and he wants to rip her out and be done with it," Shepard said.

"Commander, I respect Garrus but the matter of the fact is this is your decision to make and no one else's. Nothing will be done to you or Jane against your will, as long as you still have the ability to make that decision for yourself. I give you my word," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Thanks, doc," Shepard said.

"Of course, Commander." Dr. Chakwas gave Shepard's arm a squeeze before returning to her desk.

Miranda followed Shepard out of the med bay. "What are you going to do about Aria?"

"I'm going to go thank the Queen of Omega for her aid in taking down a serial killer and then we're going to leave," Shepard said.

"That's it?" Miranda asked.

"That's it," Shepard said.

"Please tell me you at least intend to put your armor back on and take a team with you," Miranda asked.

"Yeah, where is it anyway? And where's Kenn?" Shepard asked.

"Your armor and weapons were returned to your cabin. Lia is keeping Kenn occupied with Legion down in the hangar. He passed out, by the way, when he saw Legion," Miranda said. "You could have taken the time to warn him that there was a friendly geth aboard."

"It didn't even occur to me. Is he OK?" Shepard asked.

She stopped in front of the elevator and pushed the button.

"Oh yes, he's fine," Miranda said with a dismissive wave. "Commander, are you sure walking back into Afterlife is wise?"

The elevator opened and they both stepped inside, Shepard hit the button for her cabin. "I know Aria. This wasn't personal, believe it or not. Everyone around Aria are pieces on a game board to her. Only the strongest or most loyal get to stay on the board. This was a test more than it was an attempt on my life. I'm alive and Morinth isn't, I'm the strongest so I get to stay. For now."

"For now?" Miranda asked.

"That's how she sees it. So long as I don't use my strength against her, threaten her position on Omega I'm worth keeping on the board," Shepard said.

"But you have no interest in Omega, why would you?" Miranda asked.

"Exactly," Shepard said.

The elevator doors slid open and Miranda followed her into her cabin. Shepard found her armor on her bed and the guns on the coffee table. She started putting her armor on.

"Shepard, I've given it some thought. What you said earlier, about replacing the Illusive Man," Miranda said.

Shepard looked up at her as she snapped a greave into place. "Yeah?"

"Do you really think this is feasible?" Miranda asked. "That we can kill him and I can take over?"

"I do," Shepard said.

"Then I'm in. I still think it's insane, but I'm willing to do it," Miranda said.

Shepard grinned. "Glad to hear it, Miranda. Just promise me you won't call yourself the Illusive Woman."

Miranda scoffed. "I promise."

"Good, now go get ready. You can go say goodbye to Aria with me," Shepard said.

"I'll meet you at the airlock." Miranda left the cabin.

"EDI, is Mordin still on Omega?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, Shepard. Would you like for me to call him back to the Normandy for you?" EDI asked.

"Yes, please," Shepard said. "And then tell Grunt to meet us at the airlock."

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard got the rest of her armor on before putting the thermal clips back into all of her guns. The silence in her head was starting to make her uneasy. She laughed at the irony as she left her cabin and took the elevator back down to the CIC. Miranda and Grunt were already waiting for her. They left the airlock and headed straight for Afterlife, passing by Mordin on his way back to the ship.

The upper level of Afterlife still showed obvious signs of damage, but the bodies and blood were gone. It didn't seem to deter any of the patrons from getting drunk off their asses and having a good time. Shepard wove through the crowd and stopped at the foot of the stairs leading up to Aria's office. She recognized the batarian guarding that staircase as Bray and the memories of his kindness toward Shepard in her other lives brought a smile to her lips. It did not bring one to his. He looked at her with as much indifference as he could muster and nodded his head toward the stairs. Shepard climbed the stairs with Miranda and Grunt at her heels. She looked up at Aria, sitting on her couch with a smirk on her face as soon as she rounded the corner. Shepard went up the last few steps to stand in front of the asari.

"We're headed out. Thanks again for your help with Morinth. I hope things stay quiet for you around here for a while," Shepard said.

"You impress me, Shepard. I didn't expect you to be the one to come back alive," Aria said.

Miranda and Grunt shifted behind Shepard. Shepard only smiled.

"Yet here I am. I left your girl lying in a back alley somewhere. I hope you don't mind, I wanted out of there before more of her mindless slaves showed up. Taking innocent lives really isn't my thing," Shepard said.

Aria flicked her fingers dismissively. "I'm sure she'll find her way to the incinerators just like every other corpse left in the streets. Safe travels, Shepard."

"Goodbye, Aria," Shepard said. "Give some thought to what we discussed earlier."

She turned and walked back down the stairs and back out of Afterlife.

"Christ, she didn't even try to deny it or apologize," Miranda said.

"Aria never apologizes," Shepard said.

Back on the Normandy, Shepard set the coordinates for the Citadel before heading back up to her cabin and changing out of her armor once more. She dropped down on the foot of her bed and rested her forehead on her palms. She knew that Samara would be waiting for her, waiting for an explanation of what went wrong and how it was that Shepard was able to kill Morinth. Her gut twisted in knots as she contemplated whether she should tell Samara the truth, and whether or not Samara would feel robbed of the moment or grateful. She decided that she couldn't deal with Samara tonight. The whole Omega thing had taken much longer than anticipated having dealt with Aria's crisis and Jane. She would go see Samara the next morning, after training. Maybe by then she would know what to say.

Shepard felt ill at ease knowing that Garrus was upset with her as well. She didn't know whether she should go to him or give him his space. She didn't even know what to say to him. She wouldn't apologize for expecting him to follow her orders, but maybe she should apologize for blowing up the way she did. Shepard ran her brush through her hair and took the elevator down to the third deck.

The door to the main battery slid open just as she was about to knock. Garrus nearly ran into her before coming to a stop. Shepard searched his eyes, still seeing hints of cold anger in the pale blue. Grundan Krul put down a datapad and squeezed past Garrus and Shepard leaving them standing in the doorway alone.

"Can I come in?" Shepard asked.

Garrus turned and waved his arm toward the room. "You're the commander, it's your ship."

Shepard chewed on her lower lip and stepped inside. She sat on the cot just vacated by Grundan Krul. Garrus stepped inside enough for the door to slide closed behind him and crossed his arms before leaning against the doorframe.

"Maybe I could have handled that better," Shepard said.

His mandibles flared. "Maybe? Shepard you've never raised your voice to me like that. You've never talked down to me, never made me feel less than an equal until tonight. You've always told me that you don't think you could do any of this without me but now I've got you putting me in my place like I'm nothing more than an unruly subordinate. In front of other crew members, no less."

"You've never challenged a direct order, not like that. In front of other crew members, no less. Hell, you growled at me, Garrus!" Shepard said.

"I – Spirits, that wasn't directed at you, Shepard." Garrus rubbed his hand along his crest and shook his head. "It's just this whole damn situation. You could have died tonight, Shepard. All because Aria wanted to play some game – after you just saved her ass!"

"I know. I'm only alive because of Jane and the others," Shepard said.

Garrus chuffed and shook his head.

Shepard ran a thumb across her forehead. "Aria isn't a threat anymore. She played her game, knowing she'd win no matter the outcome. She took her measure and now she knows my mettle. She'll leave me alone now, content with the idea of what I can do for her and I'll let her live content with the idea of what she can do for me."

"What is that, exactly?" Garrus asked.

"Before? The Blood Pack, Blue Suns, and Eclipse fighting alongside our armies in the war," Shepard said.

"And now?" Garrus asked.

"If I've played my cards right, all that and every able-bodied person on Omega willing to fight and die to protect what they've built for themselves," Shepard said.

"It's Omega, Shepard. No one out there cares about anything but themselves," Garrus said.

"What about the team you built? From people on Omega? They cared about something other than themselves." Shepard stood up. "I've seen what the people of Omega are capable of when their way of life is threatened. I've seen what Aria is capable of when Omega is threatened. And I've seen how she is able to rally everyone on that station into a fight against impossible enemies to take back what is theirs. When the reapers come, all they need is to hear their Queen tell them to fight for Omega."

"I hope you're right about this, Shepard," Garrus said.

Shepard moved to stand a couple of feet in front of him. "I'm sorry I made you feel like that, Garrus. It wasn't my intent. I _never_ want to make you feel like that."

Garrus looked down at the floor between them. His mandibles fluttered softly and his mouth opened as if to speak but nothing came out. Shepard stood there for a minute, waiting for him to look at her or to say something. When it was evident he wasn't going to do either, she turned to the door to give him his space. He reached for her, his fingertips brushing her wrist. She stopped in the doorway and looked back at him. He held his arm out for her and she stepped into his embrace. Garrus pressed his forehead to hers and breathed in her scent.

"I love you, Shepard. I just need a little space. I think I'm going to sleep down here tonight, but I want you to know that I love you. More than I've ever loved anyone," Garrus said.

A tear slipped down Shepard's cheek and she nodded. It wasn't the first night she'd spent without Garrus, he'd often fall asleep down in the main battery exhausted from running numbers, calibrating, or pushing his contacts for information. It was the first time he made a point of telling her he wouldn't be coming to her bed, and it was because she'd pushed him away; because she hurt him. Again.

"I love you, too, Garrus. I'll see you in the morning," she said.

Shepard kissed him on his mandible and left the main battery another tear sliding down her cheek. She wiped it away with the back of her hand and took a deep breath as the door closed behind her. Grundan Krul looked up at her from a table in the mess hall as she made her way down the steps. He scooted a coffee mug across the table and filled it with coffee before sliding a tray of deli meats and fruit over next to the mug. Shepard smiled and wiped her face on her sleeve before making her way to the table and sitting down across from him.

"I've never paid much attention to what you humans eat," he said as she sat down.

"This looks perfect, thank you," Shepard said.

He nodded his head at her and sat in silence while she dug in. She hadn't even realized how hungry she was until there was food in front of her. About halfway through her plate she glanced up at him to see he was watching her from above the rim of his mug. She knew he was thinking about the way she had scrambled away from him in Afterlife and the look of terror that must have been on her face.

"Do we need to talk about it?" Shepard asked.

He shook his head.

"We good?" Shepard asked.

"We're good," he said.

Shepard sighed. "I wish everyone was as easy to get along with as you."

His lips twitched in a half smile and he refilled her mug. "Give him time."

"Yeah, that seems to be the going consensus," Shepard said.

She finished off her food and drained her cup before taking them over to the sink. She felt bad leaving dishes for Gardner to wake up to in the morning but it was late and she simply didn't feel like dealing with them herself. Shepard waved to Grundan Krul who nodded his head to her. She stopped outside of the elevator and glanced at life support. She was supposed to get started on meditation with Thane when she was done on Omega but everything had gotten so out of hand. Shepard chewed on her lip while she thought about it.

"Maybe it'll help me sleep," Shepard thought.

No one responded.

"EDI, is Thane still awake?" Shepard asked.

"Mr. Krios is awake and currently in meditation in life support," EDI said.

"Thanks, EDI," Shepard said absently turning away from the elevator.

She tapped gently on the door to life support. Thane's voice beckoned to her to enter. Shepard hit the door's release and stepped hesitantly inside. Thane stood from the floor and turned to her. He was dressed in loose draw string pants the color of straw and nothing else. Shepard paused a few feet in.

"I know it's late, but EDI said you were still awake and I wasn't sure if you'd still want … the thing is, Garrus is still upset with me," Shepard said tapping the side of her head, her voice shaking, "and they're all still quiet in here and I – I don't think I can sleep."

Thane crossed the floor to wrap his arms around Shepard's shoulders and pulled her gently to his chest. Shepard took a shuddering breath as she buried her face under his chin and wrapped her arms around his ribs. They held each other in silence for a few moments until Thane pulled away and gestured to the spot of empty floor in front of the observation window.

Shepard moved to the floor and sat down, pulling off her boots as his insistence and setting them out of the way. Thane crouched beside her, putting a hand on her stomach and one on her spine he pushed, urging her to straighten her posture. He spoke softly to her about the flow of energy in her body and how it could be blocked by her posture and poor air flow. He made adjustments – sometimes so minute Shepard couldn't even tell the difference – in other areas, pushing her shoulders back and down, lifting her chin, adjusting her legs, turning her palms upward.

Satisfied, he sunk to the floor in front of her. Shepard smiled at the way he sort of just melted into his meditative position on the warm metal surface, making her feel graceless after the way she'd plopped down and pulled her legs in under herself. Thane instructed her to close her eyes and focus on her breathing as he ran her through a series of breathing exercises, claiming they would aid her in clearing her mind and opening the channels in her body to allow the energy to flow freely.

Shepard tried to quiet her mind, but it seemed like the harder she tried the more images wanted to creep forward to haunt her. She breathed in as an image of Morinth's face in her final desperate moments filled her mind. She breathed out as she remembered the raw, visceral satisfaction she got from taking Morinth's life. She breathed in as she saw the look on Grundan Krul's face as she fled from him on the battle field while he was only trying to help her. Breathing out brought her the feel of her own angry snarl as she yelled at Garrus. Breathing in again reminded her of the voices pulling at her, trapping her in her own mind helpless to do anything but watch Jane fight her battle. Something must have shown on her face because Thane broke his measured breathing to instruct her further.

"Feel the solid floor beneath you; hear my voice and the hum of the drive core. Feel the air as you pull it into your lungs and it leaves again. These are the things that are now. They are all that matter in this moment," Thane said. "Acknowledge, the things that press into your mind and then let them go. They are not important in this moment, Siha."

Shepard gave a slight nod of her head as she continued to breathe. After a while the images and thoughts slowed to a trickle and eventually faded completely. Shepard sat in that place of nothingness, where no thoughts entered her mind and even the sound of their breathing faded away for a couple of minutes. Ephemeral and elusive, the moment past and try as she might she couldn't find it again. The sounds of the drive core, the steady rhythm of Thane's breathing, and the feel of the floor beneath her began to make themselves known again and Shepard opened her eyes.

Thane watched her, a soft smile on his face. "How do you feel, Siha?"

She thought about it for a moment before she answered. "Relaxed. Calm. But wishing it had lasted a little longer."

"That will come in time with regular practice." Thane stood to his feet and held a hand out to Shepard. "Do you think you can sleep now?"

Shepard let him help her up before she leaned back against the table. "I think my chances are definitely better than they were before I walked in here. Thank you."

"It is my pleasure," Thane said.

Shepard chewed on her lip until Thane gently tugged it free with his thumb. "What is it, Siha?"

"Nothing," Shepard said.

He cocked an eyebrow at her. She reached out and trailed her fingertips down his chest before grabbing the drawstrings hanging loose at his waist. She gave them a little tug and Thane chuckled, heeding her unspoken request he moved closer. Shepard looped her fingers together behind his neck and smiled.

"I'm just happy to be here with you," Shepard said.

"As am I to be here with you." Thane settled his hands on her waist before using his thumbs to lift the hem of her shirt, rubbing his thumbs back and forth across her skin.

Shepard's eyelids fluttered and she took a deep breath. Thane chuckled and slid his hands further up her sides, pressing his palms against the dip in her waist before lifting her up to sit on the table. He leaned into her and kissed her, the tip of his tongue brushing against her lower lip. Shepard deepened the kiss, sliding her hands forward to caress the delicate red of his throat just beneath his jaw. A small moan escaped Thane before his hand captured Shepard's and gently pulled it away, his lips leaving hers.

"You should get some sleep, Siha," Thane said.

Shepard groaned. "I don't want to now. Sleep is overrated. I want more of this."

"Then perhaps," Thane said moving Shepard's hand to the table, "it is time for more exercises."

Thane pulled Shepard's other hand away and pressed it to the table's surface. He trailed his fingertips up her arms and brushed her hair back, exposing her neck before meeting her gaze. Shepard pursed her lips.

"I think you're using this as an excuse to tease me," Shepard said.

"I assure you, Siha, the suffering will not be yours alone," Thane said.


	53. Chapter 30: Mutiny

**Chapter 30: Mutiny**

 _"_ _Dawn! Wake up!"_ Jane screamed.

Shepard's eyes shot open, her heart racing in her chest as she jumped out of bed her hands up ready to defend herself. Her eyes frantically searched the room but found nothing, no threat of any kind lurked in the shadows. Shepard ran her shaky hands through her hair and plopped back down on the edge of the bed.

 _"_ _Good morning!"_ Jane said.

"What the serious fuck, Jane?" Shepard said aloud.

 _"_ _You overslept. EDI's been trying to get you to wake up for the last ten minutes,"_ Jane said. _"I was helping."_

"Are you alright, Shepard?" EDI asked.

"Yep, I'm just peachy," Shepard said.

"We have arrived at the Citadel. Thane is waiting for you in the hangar, and Samara wishes to speak with you at your earliest convenience," EDI said.

"Fantastic. Thanks, EDI," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Late night, huh? You're exhausted, maybe you should get some more sleep,"_ Jane said.

"I can't do that," Shepard thought.

Shepard dressed and made her way to the hangar, stopping off in the mess hall to grab a light breakfast to eat on her way down. Jane started signing something she called the Bohemian Rhapsody, filling Shepard's mind with her off-kilter voice. Shepard decided she wasn't even going to ask _why_ Jane was singing the 'classic' song and just let it go content that she wasn't yelling obscenities or making threats instead. She kissed Thane good morning, before walking out onto the mat and beginning her stretches.

James decided he was less interested in watching after getting beat by Thane and stayed to his little corner of the hangar while Shepard and Thane sparred. Jane switched up songs, turning to another she deemed a classic called Psycho Killer. Shepard grit her teeth and shook her head before taking deep breaths and reminding herself that what Jane was doing didn't matter in that moment. She focused on Thane, watching for the smallest shift that might telegraph his movements to her. She focused on her breathing, keeping it steady and the feel of the air as it moved in and out of her lungs. Jane's singing quieted to a barely there whisper in the back of her mind, like hearing a radio play in someone else's apartment.

When Thane finally called an end to match, Shepard had found herself on the mat a total of six times, but avoided going down another seven and had even taken Thane down twice. She beamed at him when he acknowledged her greater focus and improving skill. She left the hangar feeling proud and hopeful for the days to come until Jane reminded her that Samara was waiting to speak with her. She let out a sigh and made her way up to her cabin to shower and change.

Disappointment settled into her chest to see that Garrus wasn't there when she left the steam-filled bathroom to get dressed. She found her clothes and pulled them on in silence. The night before, spending time with Thane as he tortured her with touch had been fantastic. He'd taken her right to the edge of losing control, right to the brink of begging for him to take her and then slowly brought her back down again with gentle caresses and slow breathing. Shepard was fairly certain the drell had been doing some research. She didn't know what was more amusing, imagining him watching human porn to learn about her body or spending hours poring over anatomical diagrams and reports. He didn't say and she wasn't going to ask.

She'd felt euphoric until she settled into her bed, completely alone for the first time since Jane made herself known. The continued silence from Jane and the others was shifting from unnerving to concern. The silence, something she thought she desperately missed was maddening. She nearly climbed out of bed to find Garrus and beg him to hold her so she could sleep, or to convince Thane to join her instead with the promise that sleep was all she intended. It kept her awake until the early hours of the morning, just as panic started to set in she finally fell asleep.

 _"_ _What are you going to tell her?"_ Jane asked, interrupting Shepard's thoughts.

Shepard paused with her shirt half over her head. She took a deep breath and pulled the fabric down, settling it into place around her torso.

"I don't have a clue," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Why not tell her the truth?"_ Jane asked.

"I don't think I can handle trying to convince another crew member that I'm not crazy and the voices inside my head are real. Not right now," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _You could always just show her,"_ Jane said.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Why not?"_ Jane asked.

Shepard sighed and padded across the floor with bare feet to retrieve her hairbrush. "Because … I can't be certain you wouldn't decide to hurt her."

 _"_ _Why would I hurt Samara?"_ Jane asked.

"I don't know why you do half the shit you do, Jane. You've made threats towards the crew before, and whether you regret it or not, you shot Garrus," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Garrus was an accident, and as for the threats, I don't mean them. Not really. I just get confused sometimes and say things I don't really mean,"_ Jane said. _"You don't understand what it's like in here."_

"Oh but I do! Thanks to you, I've been in there, too. Remember?" Shepard thought as she sat down to put on clean socks.

 _"_ _Of course I remember, but that's nothing compared to how long I've been in here. The years and years that I've spent listening to them, doing everything that I could to hang on to my sanity so that I could find a way to break through. You don't understand,"_ Jane said.

Shepard slipped on her boots. "I just don't think it's a good idea, Jane."

 _"_ _How about if Thane is there? That way if he thinks I'm hurting Samara, he can just knock us out,"_ Jane said.

"Why do you want to do this so bad?" Shepard asked, the sound of her voice breaking the stillness of the room.

 _"_ _I just want someone to understand,"_ Jane said. _"Who better than a nearly thousand year old asari who can see inside here. See me. Me. It doesn't matter how many times I slip up and take over, they never see me. All the see is you, all they care about is you. Keeping you safe. I just want someone to see me. Please."_

"What makes you think she'd even be willing to meld with us? Especially after I tell her that's how her daughter died," Shepard thought as she tied her boots.

 _"_ _You could at least try,"_ Jane said.

Shepard left her cabin and stepped into the elevator. "I'll think about it. Let's see how things go."

She took the elevator down to the third deck and hesitated outside of the starboard observation. Shepard wiped her sweaty palms on her thighs before knocking. When she heard Samara tell her to come in, she hit the door release and took a deep breath. Samara was sitting in the middle of the floor, gazing out the window at the Citadel docks.

"Four hundred years I hunted my daughter. She left countless bodies in her wake, and now she is dead but I do not understand how," Samara said.

Shepard stepped inside just far enough for the door to close behind her.

"I expected her death to be at my hands. I expected to feel the relief of redemption in the moment of her death. I find myself wafting between confusion and gratitude toward you, Shepard," Samara said.

 _"_ _Gratitude is good; it'll make her more willing. Just ask her,"_ Jane said.

Shepard took another steadying breath, relieved herself that at the least Samara did not seem upset because she was denied killing Morinth herself. Samara turned to look over her shoulder at Shepard.

"She had you in her grip. I saw it with my own eyes. I thought surely you were going to die. I felt the pain of my failure to save another innocent life from Morinth's twisted desires, but instead she fell." Samara stood and turned to face Shepard. "Please, Shepard, explain this to me. I have spent the night searching for answers and I have none."

Shepard searched Samara's face and the raw emotion she saw there, the pleading in her eyes told Shepard that she couldn't lie to Samara no matter how damaging the truth might be. Shepard chewed on her lip. Samara took a few steps closer to Shepard, her brow furrowing.

"I do not understand. Would you deny me this explanation?" Samara asked.

"No," Shepard said softly. "I'm just not sure how to explain it, and I'm not sure you'll believe me either way."

 _"_ _You can make her believe, though. All you have to do is show her. Let her join with you and she'll see it all for herself,"_ Jane said.

"Alright, Jane. Alright. I'll ask her," Shepard thought.

Samara dropped her gaze to the floor. "I see. If it is the truth that you speak, then it is the truth that will be heard. Sit with me, Shepard. I am patient; I will wait for you to find the words."

Shepard nodded her head and took a seat on the couch. Samara settled in beside her and averted her gaze to the window, giving Shepard the space she needed to wrestle with her thoughts.

Shepard watched the skycars zoom by in the distance and thought about how unreal the normalcy of it all seemed. "Do you remember when I asked you about reincarnation?"

Samara glanced at Shepard. "I do."

"I've been trying to find answers of my own for something that's been going on inside of me since before the old Normandy was attacked. Since before Sovereign attacked the Citadel." Shepard picked at the dry skin around her thumbnail. "I haven't found them but some of the others are trying to help me figure it out."

Samara turned on the couch, her eyes calmly roaming over Shepard's face. Shepard avoided her gaze and instead focused on her hands, the observation window, the shelves in the room, and just about anything that she could other than the asari sitting next to her. Shepard brushed past the more awkward details of how she first came to learn about Jane, only touching on what Liara had found and what Dr. Tulina helped her to uncover further. She didn't speak about what it felt like, or her fears. She didn't speak about the way it had changed every aspect of her life echoing back through the years even before Jane was there. She didn't talk about the way it made her question her own existence or the terrible things that had occurred as a result of her changing things. She didn't talk about the ever present dread that she was going to die in this war and wake up again, a voice locked inside the head of another Shepard trapped with a sea of other voices that had long since cracked.

Instead she presented the case as fact, relying on the support that Dr. Chakwas and the others could provide her story if it was needed. She tried to focus on what they did know of her situation, that Jane was somehow able to remain conscious through Shepard's reconstruction but it had damaged her psyche, ignoring the uncomfortable way Jane bristled at the subject. She talked about Jane's recent ploys for control and how she had succeeded a few times already with mixed results, ignoring Jane's insistence that it wasn't her fault or that she was only trying to help. She talked about the shift in her brainwave patterns that EDI had detected when Jane was pushing for control, and the methods that they had found so far to help combat Jane.

At some point in her rambling, Shepard realized she was stalling. She glanced at Samara to see the asari watching her with those ancient wise eyes, still and unflinching. Shepard chewed on her lip.

"I knew who Morinth was before I even found you on Illium. I knew where she'd be, but I didn't know how to tell you. So I waited for you to ask for my help and thought that I could just follow your plan because it's always worked before." Shepard cleared her throat. "Things were different this time, so much has changed."

"That girl and the others like her would still be alive," Samara said quietly.

"Maybe. I don't know that we could have gotten to her any sooner. I'm sorry," Shepard said.

Samara turned trained her eyes on her hands, resting in her lap. "I see."

"So you don't think I'm crazy?" Shepard squirmed on the couch.

Samara stood and crossed to the window, her hands clasped in front of her as she looked out over the Citadel. "Asari have long lives, Shepard, and mine is nearing the end. I have lived nearly a thousand years and there is only one thing that I know with certainty."

"What's that?" Shepard asked.

Samara turned her head to look at Shepard over her shoulder. "As much as we like to believe we understand how the universe works, it will always continue to hold secrets beyond our understanding."

Shepard smirked and nodded her head as Samara returned to the couch, sitting to where she could face Shepard squarely.

"I do not see how this explains her death," Samara said.

Shepard glanced at Samara sitting passively and unreadable. "When Morinth attempted to force a meld, Jane and the others attacked her through that link. Overloaded her system and burned her out somehow. I don't know how else to explain it."

 _"_ _No, I think that about sums it up,"_ Jane said.

"I see," said Samara.

Shepard cleared her throat and squirmed in her seat. "Jane has, ah, she's asking to talk to you. She wants – gods this is awkward – she wants you to meld with me so that you can see her in person. I don't think it's a very good idea; it could be dangerous for you even though she swears she wouldn't hurt you." Shepard raked a thumbnail across her forehead. "And of course that's a level of intimacy you're probably not comfortable with, even without the intent of … uh, so I get it if you don't want to but I told her I'd tell you she asked."

"Can you not tell me what she wishes to say?" Samara asked.

"Yeah, no – totally it's just that you're the only one around who _has_ the ability to actually see her face, hear the words from her own mouth. She just wants to be seen," Shepard said.

Samara stared out the window in silence for so long that Shepard started to think she had made the asari uncomfortable. "Hey, listen, Samara don't worry about it, alright? I completely understand. I wouldn't want to do it if I were in your shoes, either."

 _"_ _Way to sell it, Dawn. Thanks,"_ Jane said.

"I'm not going to try to force her to do something she doesn't want to do," Shepard thought.

"I will join with you, Shepard," Samara said. "I owe them a debt I cannot otherwise repay."

Shepard's eyebrows shot up. "Samara, I just told you that they're all incredibly unstable and that they killed Morinth through the melding … Jane says that she doesn't want to hurt you but I don't _know_ that she won't try to harm you … even if she doesn't the others might. Some of them may not even understand that what you're doing is any different from what Morinth was doing."

 _"_ _Damn it, don't do this! Don't you dare talk her out of this! I need this, Dawn. I need it,"_ Jane said, her final words carrying with them a sense of desperation Shepard felt to her core.

"This is a risk I am willing to take, Shepard. Please, allow me the opportunity to thank them for doing what I have tried and failed to do for four-hundred years," Samara said.

Shepard ran her hands through her hair. "I'll only agree to it if Thane is present. If something goes wrong, he can stop me from losing control."

 _"_ _Thank you,"_ Jane said.

"Don't make me regret this, Jane," Shepard thought.

"Very well," Samara said.

"EDI, will you ask Thane to please come to starboard observation." Shepard shook her head in disbelief, this seemed crazy to her.

 _"_ _I won't. I'll be good, I promise. I won't hurt Samara and I won't let any of the others hurt her either,"_ Jane said.

"Mr. Krios is on his way," EDI said.

"Thanks, EDI," Shepard said.

"You are welcome, Shepard. Would you like for me to alert Dr. Chakwas so that she can be present in the event of injury to Justicar Samara?" EDI asked.

Shepard cringed and glanced at Samara. "No, I think she'd storm in here and insist it doesn't happen at all. If we need her though, call her in."

"Very well, Shepard. I will continue to monitor you and will alert Mr. Krios if scans reveal instability," EDI said. "However, without a comparison of the brain activity of either a human or an asari during a normal melding, I may not be able to adequately detect any other abnormalities."

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose and nodded her head in acknowledgement. The door opened and Thane stepped inside a couple of feet before coming to a stop. His hands tucked behind his back and his eyes locked on Shepard.

Shepard rubbed the back of her thumbnail across her forehead as she moved to him. "Samara is going to meld with me so that she can talk to Jane directly."

"What do you need from me, Siha?" Thane asked putting a steadying hand on Shepard's elbow.

"I need you to be here in case something goes wrong. If it looks like Samara is being harmed at all …" Shepard looked let her words trail off and looked at him with pleading eyes, begging him to understand.

 _"_ _Nothing is going to go wrong,"_ Jane said.

"I will do as I must, Siha," Thane said.

Shepard settled down to the floor to sit opposite of Samara. Thane stood behind Shepard, ready to wrap his arms around her throat and deprive her of oxygen until she passed out if required.

"I have never joined minds with a human before." Samara rubbed her palms over her knees.

"Well, you're about to join with about a thousand of them, most of which are fifty shades of crazy. Are you sure you want to do this?" Shepard asked. "It's a big risk."

 _"_ _Dawn, relax. Just trust me, please,"_ Jane said.

"I am sure." Samara rubbed her hands across her legs again before looking up at Shepard with blackened eyes.

 _"_ _See you on the other side,"_ Jane said as Samara took hold.

There was no coaxing; no verbal cue like with Liara but the abrupt presence in Shepard's mind much the way Dr. Tulina had delved in when Shepard awoke frantic with the intense buzzing in her head. She willed herself to relax and opened herself to Samara. She found herself standing next to her surrounded by a sea of darkness. Whispers of madness sounding as loud as screams pressed in around them. Voices wailed, bemoaning the loss of those taken in the war. Others angry and filled with ridicule lashed out; blaming Shepard for making them feel pain again. Those confused by their sudden presence demanded to know who they were and how she had gotten inside.

Shepard felt Samara's resolve waver as the onslaught of voices pressed against her. The ancient asari steeled herself at Shepard's side, the connection strengthening. The intensity of the voices died down as the darkness pulled itself back, like tendrils of a fog revealing a mass of people surrounding them. Most of them seemed to shift in and out of existence before Shepard's eyes as they wandered aimlessly. Others had their faces turned to something no one else could see, relieving their own memories oblivious to anyone around them. Some had eyes were filled with horror; others anger, love, agony, or sorrow. Those closest to Shepard seemed the most solid, the most real, and they watched Shepard and Samara with interest moving in closer.

"Samara?" A blond woman, angry red scars crisscrossing her face and arms pushed forward.

"Samara is here with us? Is she dead, too?" A brunette with a square jaw touched Samara's hand.

"She's not dead, Brooke. She's just come to visit me!" Another Shepard chirped. "We're going to have tea together!"

"She's not hear to have tea with you, idiot," a masculine voice spoke out from somewhere in the crowd.

Shepard wasn't sure how she could tell, but she was certain that he was the one that threatened to take a turn controlling her the first time Jane managed to take over. A shudder ran down her spine. Her eyes scanned the area but she couldn't pick him out.

"Yes she has! She's come to have tea and tell me all about how wonderful things are with the reapers gone now," she said.

"I have come to say thank you," Samara said turning to take in the crowd. "I am sorry; I have not yet seen the reapers. I do not know how things will be after the war."

Hands reached out to touch Samara and Shepard, tugging at their clothing, their fingers, and Shepard's hair. Panic started to well up inside of Shepard and Samara turned to look at her in concern.

"They frighten you," Samara said.

Shepard nodded her head reluctantly.

"They can't hurt you," a masculine voice, identical to the first but somehow still unique spoke from behind Shepard.

Shepard spun to face him and she knew at once that this was John. Shepard grinned and opened her mouth to say hello but John grabbed her and crushed her to his chest, slapping her back like they were longtime friends – or family; she supposed in some odd way they were.

"Oh." Shepard chuckled and returned the affectionate pat before pulling away.

John held her at arm's length and looked her over. "Sorry, Commander."

"That's alright, John. It's nice to put a face to a name," Shepard said.

Shepard took in his rugged features. The thin scar cutting through his close cropped dark hair, his five o' clock shadow, and his piercing blue eyes. He grinned at her again as she turned to Samara.

"Shouldn't be here. Shouldn't be here. It's going to make her angry. Going to make them all angry." Another female Shepard crept up behind John, shaking her head as her hands fluttered helplessly in front of her, her eyes making sharp, jerky movements.

John didn't pay her any mind so neither did Shepard.

"Samara, this is John. He's been trying to help me with Jane a little," Shepard said.

"She's going to get angry and I'll forget again. I don't want to forget. Shouldn't be here." The Shepard sounded more agitated, more insistent.

Shepard studied the face until a name crept into her mind. "Sarah?"

"Don't call me that!" Sarah yelled, her face contorting in rage before settling back down into paranoid confusion. "Sarah's dead. She died. She's dead, not real. Not here. This is just a dream."

"It's good to see you again, Samara." John held out his hand to Samara. "Sorry that's probably confusing for you. It's hard to remember in here sometimes that everyone out there doesn't know me the way I know them."

Shepard felt the flicker of remorse roll off of John and she wondered if Samara had felt it too. If she had, she didn't acknowledge it in any way. Shepard watched Sarah out of the corner of her eye, afraid that John might be wrong and she might decide to attack. A moment later another woman – Ramona, Shepard realized – came and wrapped an arm around Sarah, leading her away with soft murmurs.

Samara shook his hand and smiled. "It is nice to meet you. Thank you, for your part in stopping Morinth."

"Happy I could help, ma'am. I just wish there was more that I could do for Dawn," John said.

"Dawn?" Samara asked her brow knitting in confusion.

Shepard raised her hand. "It's my first name."

Samara smiled. "I see."

A sudden hush fell over the mass of Shepards.

"Jane's coming," John said.

He pointed as the group began to part, drifting away from one another to clear a path for a redheaded woman with intense green eyes. Shepard had never seen her face before, but the second she laid eyes on it she knew it unmistakably. Jane smirked as Shepard met her gaze. She pushed through the crowd and came to a stop in front of Shepard. Shepard bit the inside of her cheek as she warred with the desire to punch the other woman in her freckle smattered face and hug her at the same time.

Jane held a hand out to Shepard. "Dawn."

"Jane." Shepard slowly shook the offered hand.

And just like that, Jane dismissed Shepard completely. Her eyes stopped on John long enough to cast him a withering glare before she turned to Samara with a warm if slightly manic smile that made Shepard's skin crawl. John shifted beside Shepard, edging himself forward until he was all but standing in front of her.

"Samara, thank you so much for agreeing to this," Jane said, sticking her hand out to Samara.

Samara shook her hand and bowed her head. "I am told that all of you are responsible for ending Morinth. I wished to express my gratitude."

Jane slung an arm around Samara's shoulder, and Shepard tensed. Samara glanced at Shepard and offered her one of her soothing beatific smiles.

"Walk with me, Samara. There's so much I want to tell you," Jane said.

Samara and Jane started walking, the sea of people parting to let them pass. Shepard started to follow but John put a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. She turned to look at him with alarm.

"This is our best chance to talk," John said.

"I can't leave Jane alone with Samara!" Shepard protested.

"If ever there was anyone who can handle Jane, it's that asari right there, Commander," John said.

"But … what if I lose her in here or something? What if – dear gods, what if she loses me?!" Shepard asked.

"I can't swear to it, but I'm pretty sure that can't happen. And if it does, well, I'll make sure you get back out myself, ma'am," John said.

Shepard looked back, her eyes searching for Samara as more protestations formed on her lips but the asari had already vanished in the sea of people pressing back in around Shepard. The others reached for her and Shepard latched on to John's arm. His chuckle rumbled through her side.

"They can't hurt you, not really," he said again.

"That's not what I'm afraid of," Shepard whispered.

John patted her hand still clinging to his bicep with a calloused hand. "I know."

A terrifying thought raced through Shepard's mind, enough to rouse the interest of everyone surrounding her. "Who was the last one? Before me?"

The crowd shifted again and a woman stepped forward, dark skin shifting seamlessly into dark peach fuzz hair not at all unlike Jack's haircut. Her eyes a deep olive green locked onto Shepards.

"I was," she said.

"Ruby." Shepard tried not to question how it was she was able to know their names or the uneasy feeling it gave her.

"That's right," Ruby said. "Me. Ruby. It's my life you stole."

Shepard took a step back reflexively as the woman's anger flared. John squeezed her hand, steadying her.

"I didn't steal your life. This is my life. I didn't ask for any of this anymore than any of you did," Shepard said.

"My life. My ship. My crew. My lover. It's all mine!" Biotic energy flared around Ruby.

John stepped in front of Shepard, shielding her from the mad woman's ire. "Back off, Ruby. You know that none of this is her fault."

"Somebody's got to take the blame. Might as well be her," Ruby said.

John raised his arm, and Shepard didn't see the pistol in his hand until it was too late. The sound of gunfire rapport echoed around them, drowning out the sound of Shepard's sudden yelp. Ruby fell as the first red trickle started to spill from the hole in the middle of her forehead.

Shepard ripped her arm away and turned on John, her eyes wide. "What the hell did you do?!"

Chaos broke out once more as the crowd scattered, pulling away from Shepard and John. Some or the women wailed in terror, some giggled like children. The later disturbed her far more than the former.

John put the gun away, and shrugged. "She's fine."

Shepard glanced back at Ruby and watched with incredulity as the woman pulled herself back to her feet. All traces of blood and bullet wound vanished from her smooth skin. She glared at John before casting a sneer in Shepard's direction and disappearing into the crowd.

"Come on, Commander. We won't have a lot of time," John said waving a hand out at the darkness.

Shepard watched him warily, beginning to question just how unstable John himself was. "Where are we going?"

"Away from Jane's flock," John said heading through the crowd.

Shepard looked around her and chewed her lip before following after him. Part of the crowd followed after them – followed after John, she realized but the majority stayed behind. Shepard glanced behind her nervously, picking up her pace until she walked beside John.

"What do you mean Jane's flock?" Shepard asked.

He glanced at her. "Most of them cling to Jane like she's our salvation. Some just don't know what else to do. Others cling to her because they want the power that she has. Because they miss the death and destruction. They feed her their crazy and get her riled up. Most of the time when she's abusing you, it's because they're whispering in her ear."

"What do you mean?" Shepard asked.

"Jane by herself isn't so bad. But after Cerberus, she lost her hold. Broke down and they moved in on her." John stopped and turned to Shepard. "Not all of us made it through the war in one piece, not all of us woke up again the same person we were when we died. Some of us are … well, more than broken. More than just a little crazy."

Shepard rubbed her arms and looked back at the twenty or so following them and nodded her head in their direction. "What about them?"

"When I started standing up to Jane – to the others – a few of them started following me." John looked around at the nothingness. "It's not normally like this." He held his hand up to look at the hairs on the back of his knuckles. "This place, this is only Samara's influence. We don't get to see each other, just the incessant noise. I'm not even really sure if this is what I really looked like. You can see me, right?"

The sudden shift in topic left Shepard confused. She watched John, scrutinizing him as confusion flickered across his eyes. "Yeah, I can see you. I can see all of you right now."

"I don't – where's Jack?" John asked.

Shepard's eyebrows twitched. "Jack's probably in her hidey hole under engineering. She's safe."

"Safe. Yeah, good." John cleared his throat and looked at his hand again. "Sorry, Commander. I forgot what I was saying."

"That's alright. Take your time," Shepard said.

John shook his head and started walking again. "We don't have time. Normally, it's just the voices and the feeling of being surrounded. Constantly surrounded by people you can't see or feel. They talk, talk, talk. All of the time. It never stops. They talk about the reapers, dying, the people they loved. They talk about you and what you're doing. Some of them they get real obsessed. They got so used to the pattern never changing and then you went and broke the mold and they don't know how to handle it."

"So, what – they're encouraging Jane to take over?" Shepard asked trying to keep up with his long stride.

"In a nutshell. Jane has sheltered us, kept us together for so long. She was our rock. Our strength that kept us hanging on to what little sanity we had left." John abruptly stopped again and looked back at the group keeping their distance but still following. "Her determination and sheer will to find a way to fix things gave us all hope. But now she's confused. She doesn't know what she's fighting for anymore – or who she's fighting against."

"She's fighting against me." Shepard scoffed.

"Yeah, but she thinks in her own twisted way that she's fighting _for_ you. At least I think that's what she thinks." John turned his piercing blue eyes on Shepard. "Did you know that when you first started feeling her she was so excited? She was so proud of you. You. Commander Dawn Shepard. You were going to be the one to break the cycle. You were going to be the one to finally give us rest."

"I don't understand why she stopped believing that? She told me that I needed to find a way to change things, and damn it if things aren't changing. They may not be perfect, but I'm doing the best I can. I don't know what else to do," Shepard said.

John grabbed Shepard, pulling her into another bone crushing hug.

"Oh! OK. You're hugging me again." Shepard said patting his back before pulling herself free.

He grabbed her upper arms and looked at her, the intensity in his eyes setting her teeth on edge. "No, no. You don't understand, Commander. You're our only hope. You have to keep fighting her. You have to keep changing things, this has to end. No matter the cost."

"John … please let go of me." Shepard fought to remain calm.

John released Shepard and paced in front of her instead, rubbing his hands across his fuzzy scalp. "Sorry, Commander. Sorry. I just – I need you to understand how important you are. How vital you are. And I can help you. You have to be protected from her flock. I have to keep you safe."

"OK … how are you going to do that?" Shepard asked.

"Mutiny, ma'am." John came to an abrupt halt in front of Shepard.

"Mutiny?" Shepard raised her eyebrows.

"Yes ma'am. I mean Commander. If I can win over enough of the other Shepards, I can take Jane down." John's tone became excited as the feverishness to his eyes ramped up.

"What do you mean? Kill her? Can she be killed?" Shepard asked, remembering the bullet he'd put in Ruby's head, reminding herself that it wasn't real. It couldn't have been real.

"No, no she can't be killed but I can replace her. I think. I'm almost certain. She's not fit to lead anymore. It's not her fault, but that doesn't change the fact." John started to pace again. "I don't know how to explain it but Jane is in a different place than the rest of us. It's like … she's around us and not with us. I think she acts like … like a filter, keeping you from hearing the rest of us."

"The Veil." Shepard braced her elbow in her palm and rubbed her fingers across her lower lip as she remembered the way Liara had first described what she saw in Shepard's mind.

"Yes! Yes! The Veil. Jane _is_ The Veil. _I_ can be The Veil." John ran his hands over his face. "I just need to figure out _how_."

Shepard glanced at the group as their excited voices made their way to her ears. They huddled together, their heads bowed down whispering about the veil and killing Jane. She turned her attention back to the agitated man standing in front of her.

"How have you done it before? Isn't that what you were doing when you were helping me with Morinth?" Shepard asked.

John shook his head. "No, Jane was still there. I just … stepped through her. It's easiest when she's recovering or distracted."

Samara and Jane appeared next to Shepard, materializing out of nothingness. Shepard jumped and John growled, taking a few steps back from Jane.

"I hope John hasn't been filling your head with lies, Dawn. Don't let him confuse you. He doesn't want what's best for you, he's only thinking of himself," Jane said.

"Go to hell, Jane," John said with a snarl.

"Shepard, I must end the joining. I can feel myself weakening," Samara said.

Shepard kept her eyes on John even as she turned her head in Samara's direction and nodded. "Alright."

Shepard felt herself slipping gently away from the place of nothingness, the last thing she saw was John throwing himself at a smiling Jane. Back firmly in her body, aware of her breathing once more, Shepard opened her eyes. Samara stared at her curiously but spoke before Shepard could open her mouth.

"I must rest now, Shepard," Samara said.

Shepard turned to look up at Thane standing behind her. He held a hand out to her. Shepard slid her hand into his and let him pull her to her feet. She looked down at Samara and hesitated when she saw the watery look to her eyes.

"Please, Commander. We will talk more later." Samara pulled her biotic energy up into a ball between her hands, her eyes taking on that glowing silver sheen as she entered her meditation.

Jane's strained voice broke through Shepard's reluctance to leave. _"Thank you, Dawn."_

Shepard and Thane left Samara to her meditations, stepping out of the starboard observation. Thane pulled Shepard up short with a hand around her waist.

"Are you alright, Siha?" Thane asked.

Shepard forced a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Really. I mean that wasn't the most pleasant experience and I don't know what Jane said to her but I've got other things to focus on right now. Anderson's probably wondering why the hell we've been docked for so long and I haven't been to see him yet. I should get going."

 _"_ _I only told her my story, and showed her hers,"_ Jane said.

"Rila and Falere," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _She had a right to know, didn't she? Isn't that what we do now? Save our friends from future pain?"_ Jane asked.

"Indeed. I will be searching out my contacts. I presume Garrus will be doing the same. The Council still insists that you have guards, however," Thane said.

"She's going to try to save Rila, isn't she? Move them to another monastery or something," Shepard thought.

"Mmm. Grunt and Vega. No one will come near me with those two," Shepard said.

 _"_ _You'd have to ask her, I'm just the messenger,"_ Jane said.

"They needn't be near you to kill you, Siha," Thane said.

Shepard ran a thumb across his cheek. "I know, but I can't walk around in a bulletproof bubble so it'll have to do."

"There's an idea." Garrus rounded the corner and stopped a couple of feet from Shepard.

She felt Thane's hand slip away from her waist but let hers linger on his cheek a moment longer.

She chuckled and flashed a smile at Garrus. "No, Vakarian. You are not designing a bulletproof bubble to stick me in. Get the thought out of your head."

His mandibles fluttered lightly as he returned her smile. Garrus leaned in and pressed his forehead to hers before pressing his mouth to the same spot.

"I'm sure I could make millions of creds off the idea. It'd make for a nice retirement," Garrus said.

Thane chuckled. "And still she would not use one."

Shepard winked at him. "Of course not. If bullets can't get in, they can't get out."

"Hmmm. Yeah, that would be one hell of a design flaw." Garrus turned his attention to Thane. "I could use your help tracking down someone on the Citadel if you've got the time."

Thane bowed lightly. "I'm happy to be of service."

Shepard watched as the two of them walked away, Garrus talking quietly gesturing widely with his hands while Thane nodded his head every so often. Shepard made her way to the AI core, having a feeling she'd find Kenn in there with Lia and Legion. She stepped through the door and drew up short.

Kenn and Lia were standing in the middle of the AI core, Legion stood at the back and EDI's blue hologram hovered over her access point. Lia had her mask off, looking up into Kenn's face as he caressed her cheek. They pulled away from one another when the door opened, Lia's cheeks turning a bright red. Kenn stepped in front of her, instinctively wanting to protect the female quarian while she was in a vulnerable state. Lia patted his shoulder and he glanced behind him before nodding and stepping aside.

 _"_ _That's kind of adorable,"_ Jane said.

"Should I uh … should I come back later?" Shepard asked.

Lia grinned and slid her mask back into place. "Of course not, Shepard. I hope you're not angry. I couldn't resist showing him; I know that you asked me to keep it a secret for now. He's the first quarian I've spent any time around since … well, since this," Lia said pointing at her mask, "and I know he's leaving today."

Kenn shifted from foot to foot nervously. "Uh, Commander, hello."

"Hi Kenn." Shepard chuckled and patted him on his shoulder. "Relax, kid. You guys aren't in trouble. I've only asked Lia to keep it to herself for her safety, and because I want to make sure it's revealed to the Migrant Fleet as diplomatically as possible. Which is why you can't tell anyone about this."

"Oh, of course. I won't, I promise. I doubt anyone would believe me anyway." Kenn shifted to, settling his glowing gaze on Shepard's face. "You plan to bring this to the Migrant Fleet?"

"This could help save your people and repair relationships with the geth. I just need to make sure it's presented to the right people at the right time because I won't allow this to become another reason to fight the geth, to subjugate the geth." Shepard looked at Legion. "Have you talked to him much? Asked him about the war, about Rannoch?"

 _"_ _Do you really think that this will be enough to change their minds over a centuries old ingrained prejudiced? We couldn't even always change their minds when faced with certain destruction,"_ Jane said.

"I think it's a damn good start," Shepard thought.

Kenn's head twitched briefly toward Legion, uncomfortable with the reminder of the geth's presence. "Lia has told me some of it."

"Legion won't hurt you, Kenn," Lia said. "He's our friend."

"She's right. He wouldn't do anything to hurt you unless you were doing something to hurt him, the ship, or its crew. You really have nothing to worry about." Shepard put her arm around Lia and pulled the quarian in against her side. "And he's definitely our friend."

 _"_ _Our friend,"_ Jane echoed. _"How will you save him?"_

Shepard swallowed against the lump of sadness balled up in her throat and thought, "I don't know."

Lia bumped her hip against Shepard's and slid her arm around Shepard's waist. "You humans are so touchy feely."

Shepard smiled at the humor and warmth in Lia's voice. "Yeah, but you love me for it. You're lucky you put your mask back on or I'd be _overcome_ with the urge to give you touchy feely kisses all over your face."

Kenn made a strangled gasping noise and Lia nearly doubled over in laughter. "Shepard, to a normal quarian that would amount to a death threat."

"But you're no normal quarian." Shepard winked at Kenn. "He's just jealous that I can't give him touchy feely kisses all over his face."

 _"_ _You know you're making a mistake, don't you? Getting attached to her, keeping her on the Normandy. You could be endangering her life, and for what?"_ Jane asked.

"The reapers are coming, Jane. Everyone's life is in danger. She's happy here. She's learning to fight. This might actually be the thing that saves her life when the reapers hit. We don't know what happened to her in your times," Shepard thought.

Legion's head swiveled toward Kenn, drawing Shepard's attention. His optics grew brighter and his iris contracted. "Creator-Kenn, your heart rate is unstable. Do you require medical assistance?"

"I believe Kenn is experiencing what organics refer to as embarrassment. It is a natural, biochemical response to Shepard's teasing," EDI said.

Shepard squeezed past Lia to stand next to Legion. His optics glowed brightly, the iris expanding and contracting as he became more animate in Shepard's presence, relaxing into a stance mimicking hers. Shepard ran her fingers over a cluster of small holes in Legion's shoulder.

He fluttered the plating around his optics. "Shepard-Commander."

Shepard smiled. "Hey, Legion. Looks like we need to have Jacob patch you up again soon."

Legion looked down at the holes, or perhaps Shepard's hand making contact with his platform. "This platform is ninety-nine point three percent intact and remains fully functioning. We do not yet require repairs."

Shepard rested her hand on his shoulder. "Alright, Legion. Let's just make sure we keep you that way. OK?"

"Yes, Shepard-Commander." Legion turned and put a hand on Shepard's shoulder earning him a toothy grin.

Shepard let her hand slide away and headed for the door, stopping to look back at the quarians. "We'll be here for at least a few hours. You're welcome to hang out on the Normandy until then if you'd like. Thanks again for your help on Omega."

"Keelah, no, thank you for getting me out of that place," Kenn said.

Shepard nodded her head. "Anytime."

She told EDI to have Grunt and James meet her at the airlock for guard duty and everyone else was free to do as they wished. Shepard left the quarians to get her armor on and check her weapons before meeting her guards at the airlock and stepping out onto the Citadel.

As she made her way to Anderson's office, Shepard noticed the general sense of unease that permeated the Citadel. Humans clustered in small groups, casting wary eyes at every turian that walked by. Turian civilians seemed scarce, and when she did see one, they seemed to keep their eyes straight ahead and walk as quickly as they could. C-Sec patrolled heavily, especially in the lower wards. Their uniform didn't seem to provide them any protection from the curses, slurs, and threats humans threw at the turian officers.

 _"_ _This place feels like a warzone waiting to happen,"_ Jane said.

"Like the timer on a bomb ticking away," Shepard thought.

Shepard stopped when she saw a human civilian getting in the face of a turian C-Sec officer. The man's body language screamed aggression, even as the turian officer remained calm. Shepard could tell by the tight mandibles and the death grip on this assault rifle held against his chest that the officer was really anything but calm. Shepard shook her head and approached the loudmouth.

 _"_ _He's going to tear him apart the second that idiot touches him,"_ Jane said.

"I know," Shepard thought.

"You're all a bunch of fucking terrorists! Don't stand there and act like you're not one of them just because you're a damn cop!" The human had his nose about three inches from the C-Sec officers and was just about to jam his finger into the turian's armored chest.

Shepard grabbed the man's wrist and wrenched it back. He screamed, whether from shock or pain she didn't know and didn't care. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"You fucking bitch! Let go of me! Goddamn terrorist-loving traitor." Spittle flew from his lips.

 _"_ _I'd break it for that,"_ Jane said.

James made a tsking sound as Shepard wrenched the man's wrist back further, not quite to the point of snapping. "You see, he has to wait for you to actually touch him before he beats the shit out of you but I don't. He could have already arrested you just for being up in his face, but he's been patiently waiting, hoping you'd be stupid enough to touch him." Shepard glanced up at the officer as the man buckled to his knees. "Sound about right, Officer …"

The turian saluted Shepard. "Calagius. That would be an accurate assessment, Spectre Commander Shepard."

Shepard nodded in acknowledgement of his formality, her own hand a little too busy at the moment to return his salute. She shoved the man back, watching him fall on his ass and then scramble to regain his footing. "Piss off and don't let me see you in another officer's face or next time I'll break your damn wrist if you're lucky."

The man glared at her as he backed away a few feet before turning tail and running. Grunt chortled; the sound carrying after the man and making him look back over his shoulder. Shepard turned to Calagius and held out a hand to him. The turian adjusted his assault rifle, lowering it in her presence now that there was no immediate threat and shook Shepard's hand.

"How bad is it, Officer Calagius?" Shepard asked.

"Ma'am?" he said.

Shepard looked around them, her eyes lingering on the groups of uneasy humans. Calagius followed her eyes, taking in the signs of unrest.

"We've had a few minor riots since the announcement and turian – human related violence has increased by roughly thirty-five percent." Calagius cleared his throat, his mandibles flaring. "Humans being the primary aggressors in the majority of reported cases."

 _"_ _Gods, it's only going to get worse. If you've got an idea to stop The Dissension, you should get on it before there's riots in the streets. We both know the Council isn't prepared to deal with that and with the majority of C-Sec's officers being turian … good cop or not, that's going to be hard to not take personally,"_ Jane said.

"Damn, Commander. This is no bueno." James shifted, twisting at the waist to scan the area.

"There's not a lot we can do not knowing who they are. We can't divert from the collectors completely to deal with this. We can't be everywhere, can't do everything," Shepard thought.

"I say if they're stupid enough to pick a fight with C-Sec unarmed, let them get shot," Grunt said.

Shepard smirked and Calagius' mandibles fluttered lightly. "Shooting unarmed civilians is generally frowned upon, Grunt. No matter how stupid they are." She focused her attention back on Calagius. "Just try to remember that they're acting out because they're scared and they don't know what else to do. That doesn't excuse their behavior though, so don't cut them any slack. If they're breaking the law, they're breaking the law. We both know you should have already put him in cuffs and run him in. Don't let them get in your head, keep your cool."

 _"_ _You're right. We don't know who they are, anyone could be with them. Calagius here could be with them,"_ Jane said. _"Maybe that's why he was letting the man press him."_

"Yes ma'am." Calagius saluted Shepard again.

"Maybe, but I won't act on that sort of fear. They're all innocent until I have a reason to think otherwise," Shepard thought, returning Calagius' salute before walking away.

At Anderson's office, Rebecca stood when she saw Shepard and her team.

"Councilor Anderson has been expecting you. He said to send you in when you arrived," Rebecca said.

"Thank you." Shepard nodded at the secretary before making her way back to stop in front of the four guards posted outside of Anderson's door.

Two asari commandos flanked two humans in Alliance gear. Shepard assumed the asari were Tevos' contributions, a sign of solidarity and support for both the humans and the Council. The two men in Alliance uniform moved to block Shepard's passage. The markings on their armor identified them as both being Service Chief in rank. Men who in another time, another life would have immediately stepped aside and saluted. Instead, they saluted James.

Shepard bit back the humiliation the two strangers were trying to heap on her. Reminding herself that she was where she needed to be and one day, she'd have her dog tags back around her neck where they belonged. The asari commandos watched, alert but appearing bored by their human counterparts display of muscle.

 _"_ _Still stings, though, doesn't it?"_ Jane said.

"Yeah. Yeah, it does," Shepard thought.

"Council Spectre Commander Shepard. Councilor Anderson is expecting me," Shepard said, asserting her full title.

"He's expecting you, and he's Alliance." One of the men said indicating James.

"Didn't say anything about a krogan." The other said, nodding his head at Grunt.

 _"_ _They do realize that The Dissension is a turian organization right?"_ Jane said.

"They are my guards while on the Citadel as per Council orders." Shepard cracked her neck.

"Do we have a problem?" James asked stepping up beside Shepard.

"No sir," the first man said.

"Then I suggest you two stop acting like FNGs, show the Commander here some respect and do your jobs. I'm pretty sure your orders were to protect the Councilor, not harass his guests," James said.

Jane snickered, her amusement wearing down the sharp edges of Shepard's growing anger.

"Give me a moment to check in with the councilor. Wait here, please." He stepped inside Anderson's office when James cocked an eyebrow.

A few moments later he returned, holding the door open for Shepard and her team. Anderson stood behind his desk, his hands clasped behind his back. A salarian, STG based on his dress and demeanor stood a few feet away while another man in Alliance armor stood on Anderson's opposite side.

"Don't let 'em get to you, James. I know where I stand in the eyes of most people, but I do what needs to be done anyway," Shepard said.

"It ain't right, Ídolo. You saved their asses, all of them. You've earned their respect a hundred times over." James shook his head, his brow furrowed.

 _"_ _He always was a little naïve,"_ Jane said a little wistfully. 

"I know, James. It is what it is." Shepard came to a stop in front of Anderson's desk and saluted.

He nodded to the chairs and she sat down. Grunt and James remained standing behind her.

"Shepard, why am I not surprised to see you here?" Anderson settled back into his chair.

Shepard grinned. "I happen to have a very legitimate excuse to be here, Councilor. You informed Dr. Chakwas and Ms. Lawson that some of my medical records could only be released to me in person."

Anderson scoffed but a grin spread across his face before he turned his attention to Shepard's guards. "Lieutenant Vega, Urdnot Grunt. Good to see both of you again. Glad to see Shepard is taking her orders to have guards with her seriously."

James saluted Anderson. "Yes sir. It's good to see you as well, Councilor."

"Councilor." Grunt dipped his head.

"Where's Vakarian? I expected to see him glued to your side," Anderson asked.

"He's getting in touch with some of his old contacts." Shepard shifted, leaning forward in her chair. "Though after seeing the state of things on my way in here, I kind of wish I had kept him with me."

 _"_ _You think he's going to run into trouble?"_ Jane asked.

"Let's just hope he doesn't. And if he does, he doesn't do anything brash," Shepard thought.

Anderson grunted in agreement. "Mmm. It's not good, Shepard. But so far we've managed to keep things relatively calm. We still haven't seen any sign of The Dissension taking direct actions, it seems almost as if they're content to sit back and watch the tension unfold between turians and humans. It doesn't feel right to me, though. My gut is telling me that they're planning something. I just don't know what."

 _"_ _Blowing up embassies, holding civilians hostage, storming facilities … could be anything,"_ Jane said.

"Of course they are. What it is will depend on what their numbers are and what they can pull off. Have you found out anything more about them?" Shepard asked.

Anderson shook his head and grimaced. "I'm afraid the Council's hands are tied. You got my report? The Council is stepping back to allow the Primarch to investigate the matter internally. We've declared our opposition to the group, and will continue to look into them in regards to the Citadel but we aren't reaching outside of the Citadel unless the Primarch fails to take care of this or things escalate."

 _"_ _So they're doing nothing. Just like old times,"_ Jane said.

"For how long? How long does Primarch Fedorian have to 'take care of this'? How far does it have to escalate before the Council steps up and actually does something other than make pretty speeches?" Shepard asked.

Anderson stood and paced back and forth in front of his desk. "I wish I knew, Shepard. I've been pushing for more resolute action, and so has Sparatus' replacement – Acting Councilor Quentius. But Tevos and Valern won't be moved."

Jane fed images of Quentius to Shepard, filling her in on the turian's general policies and outlook on turian-human relations. _"Had you not saved the Destiny Ascension, he'd be the permanent councilor now."_

"What about Sparatus? How's the investigation going?" Shepard asked.

"I'm not at liberty to discuss that, Shepard. All I can say is that there has been nothing to change the Council's original opinion on the matter," Anderson said.

 _"_ _So they haven't found anything incriminating,"_ Jane said.

"And the missing Spectre? What was her name?" Shepard asked as she watched Anderson's agitated pacing.

She knew how infuriating it must be for him to have to deal with politics and red tape. Anderson was a man of action, not a man of words. Still, Shepard didn't think that there was anyone better fitted to serve as the first human member of the Council. He definitely was a better choice than Udina.

"Protalus. There's been no word on her. She's gone underground. No reported sightings, she hasn't attempted to access the Spectre systems, she hasn't even attempted to access her private accounts." Anderson stopped and pressed his palms to his desk, shaking his head. "It's a damn mess, Shepard."

 _"_ _They're not going to find her if she doesn't want to be found. Unless she turns up dead,"_ Jane said. _"If they want to bring her in, they're going to have to send a Spectre after her. Even then, they'll have to send someone not turian to be sure they don't lose another."_

The comm on Anderson's desk buzzed. "Sir, you're next meeting is in fifteen minutes."

Anderson let out a heavy sigh. "Alright, thank you Rebecca."

Shepard stood and rolled her shoulders while Anderson walked around the desk to shake her hand.

"Here, I'll forward you your medical records." Anderson opened his omni-tool.

Shepard watched as his fingers glided over the holographic display. A moment later her omni-tool pinged. She was content to let the message sit until she was back on the Normandy but the look in Anderson's eyes told her she needed to open it right away. Shepard lifted her arm and opened the screen, pulling up the message from Anderson. Her eyes skimmed over the headings containing her name and vital statistics until she found what she was looking for.

Tucked up in the upper right hand corner were the words, _"Apartment 32. Tiberius Towers on the Silversun Strip. 1800 hrs. Bring dinner and your people."_

Shepard closed the omni-tool, her face as passive as ever. "Thanks, Anderson. I'm sure Dr. Chakwas will be glad to have these."

 _"_ _Maybe he has something he can't tell us about here,"_ Jane said. _"Or maybe he's hoping we have something we can't tell him in front of the guards."_

"Either way, looks like we're setting up an impromptu dinner party at Anderson's," Shepard thought.

Anderson chuckled and patted Shepard on the back, guiding her to the door. "I'm sure you'll be cursing me when they're running their tests."

"Never," Shepard said with a grin.

She glanced at the time on her omni-tool on her way out. It was just after 0800 hours, she had the whole day to kill. Shepard made her way through the Citadel, stopping at various stores to snag what tech and supplies she could find, constantly aware of the tension in the atmosphere the entire time. Much to Grunt and James' dismay, she made it a point to stop and have friendly chats with just about every turian C-Sec officer, shop owner, or disgruntled civilian she came across.

She asked EDI to see if she could ascertain whether an Alliance News Network reporter named Diana Allers and investigative journalist named Emily Wong were on the Citadel. When EDI confirmed that they were, Shepard had EDI send them a message on her behalf requesting a meeting at a time they could all agree on. Shepard wasn't surprised when the return message from Emily came through minutes later telling Shepard to name the time and place and she'd make it happen.

 _"_ _You think the media coverage will draw them out?"_ Jane asked.

"There's a chance. If nothing else, maybe hearing some inspiring words from a familiar face can help ease tension," Shepard thought.

Diana took a little longer to get back to her than expected. Shepard hoped she hadn't made a mistake by thinking that the reporter would be the right choice. Shepard had a lot of respect for the Diana of Jane's memories, the woman was a little ruthless and knew how to cut to the quick but she was fair and did a decent enough job of being objective. Nearly an hour and a half had passed before she heard back from Diana. Her response was simple, she was willing to meet with Shepard in one hour but only if they could do the interview aboard the Normandy. Shepard smiled at the tenacious ultimatum and sent her a message agreeing to her terms. She forwarded the time and location to Emily before stopping off to grab a quick lunch with James and Grunt.

Shepard waited outside of the Normandy for the two reporters; again she was not surprised when Emily was the first to show up with all of her enthusiasm. Shepard made idle chit chat with the reporter, off the record while they waited for Diana. Emily blushed when James made a show of bowing over her hand held loosely in his during introductions. Shepard snorted indelicately and gently slapped the marine's armored chest with her gauntleted hand. Shepard was proud that Grunt remembered his manners and didn't try to intimidate the poor woman for standing too close to Shepard.

Diana arrived and James' jaw dropped. The leggy, busty woman was always fond of skin tight dresses that showed far more cleavage than anyone else even remotely associated with the Alliance could get away with.

"Commander Shepard? I'm Diana Allers." Diana extended her hand to Shepard. "I must admit I was a bit surprised to receive your message – sent to me personally."

Shepard smiled and shook Diana's hand. "Let's just say I have a strong appreciation for reporters who focus on the facts and not what sensationalist spin they can put on things to get higher ratings. Ms. Allers, this is Emily Wong. She's an investigative journalist that's been working on the Citadel for some time now. I've asked her to join us as well."

The two reporters shook hands, acknowledging that they were familiar with one another's work before turning back to Shepard expectantly.

"Before I take you aboard, I'd like to set some ground rules." Shepard waited for both women to nod before continuing. "I will be taking you to the comm room for the duration of this interview. You will not turn your cameras on until we are in the comm room, and anything that you see or hear outside of the comm room is strictly off the record."

Shepard saw the immediate pout come to Diana's mouth but the woman nodded in acquiescence. Emily seemed unbothered by the demands and waited patiently for Shepard to continue.

"This will not be a free for all interview. There are some things that I simply _cannot_ discuss with you at this time, and other things that although might seem viable topics would only detract from the topic I would like to focus on." Shepard looked back and forth between the women as she spoke, making sure that they were keeping up and weren't going to fight her on the points. "If at any point I can't answer a question I will let you know and I ask that you move on. If this goes smoothly, I would consider future interviews with the two of you to discuss other viable topics."

"If you don't mind my asking, what _is_ the topic you would like to discuss?" Emily asked.

"The Dissension," Shepard said.

Emily nodded her head while Diana seemed to mull it over before asking, "Perhaps you can make it more clear which topics you consider viable and which topics you're hoping to avoid?"

"Certainly," Shepard said with a nod of her head. "Topics I would consider discussing at a later time would be the reapers, the collectors, the geth, and the fact that I'm alive after the old Normandy went down and I was spaced. Topics I would like to avoid – for the time being are Cerberus, the details of any arrangements I may or may not have with either the Alliance or the Council in regards to my presence with Cerberus, and any questions involving any members of my crew unless they have consented to have those questions answered."

 _"_ _And me,"_ Jane said.

"They've got no reason to ask about you, thank gods," Shepard thought.

"Commander, with all due respect ma'am, those are the very topics that my viewers are going to be the most interested in hearing about when it comes to you," Diana said.

"I know, Ms. Allers, and I am prepared to make a brief statement touching on some of those topics. The statement will not allow for follow up questions, however. If you are not interested in what I have to offer, Ms. Allers, I understand," Shepard said.

"Oh no, I'm definitely interested and I can agree to your terms," Diana said.

Shepard nodded her head before turning to Emily. "Ms. Wong?"

"Absolutely, Shepard. Thank you for giving me this opportunity," Emily said.

Shepard nodded her head. "If you two will follow me."

Shepard led them into the Normandy and quickly through the armory into the comm room. Diana couldn't help but to soak in as much of the ship as she could see as they went. Once the two reporters where in the comm room, Shepard excused herself for a moment and stepped out into the hall making sure the door closed behind securely.

"EDI, send a message to all crew letting them know that I am with reporters and to avoid the comm room until further notice. You and Legion should probably both lay low until this is over as well," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Good idea. Allers is a good reporter and a good woman, but let's not tempt her,"_ Jane said.

"Understood, Shepard," EDI said.

Shepard went back in the comm room to find Diana and Emily already set up and waiting for her. Shepard ditched her armor and weapons on the floor, tucking them into a corner and running her hands through her hair. Shepard grinned as Emily made some adjustments, shifting Shepard's hair and clothing until she thought she was camera ready. Shepard was just glad that neither of them tried to pull out a makeup bag.

With both of the cameras rolling, Shepard tucked her hands behind her back and began. "As many of you watching this already know, I am Council Spectre Commander Shepard. Although it will not be the focus of this interview, I would like to clarify a few things for those of you watching."

Shepard shifted her weight slightly. "I was the commanding officer of the SSV Normandy SR-1. The SSV Normandy SR-1 was attacked by another vessel, one we have since identified as a collector ship. The Normandy was destroyed. Many fine men and women lost their lives that day, and I was one of them. My body was recovered and put into stasis while transported to an undisclosed facility where I was revived and restored using experimental technology over a two year period."

 _"_ _And now every scientist in the galaxy wants to get their hands on you,"_ Jane said.

"Although I have not been technically restored to active duty with the Alliance Navy, neither have I been officially stripped of my rank. My Spectre status has, however, been officially restored." Shepard gently cleared her throat. "As I suspect most humans, if not most of all species know by now, humanity is facing a dire threat as the collectors attack and abduct entire human colonies outside of Alliance and Council protected space. It is my current mission to bring an end to these abductions."

 _"_ _That was vague. It implies that the Council and Alliance support what you're doing without directly saying so. Let's just hope it was vague enough to not piss off the higher ups,"_ Jane said.

"I hope that this helps to clear up some of the confusion about my death, subsequent reappearance, and speculations about my rank and loyalties. That being said, there is something else that I would like to address and I have invited Emily Wong and Diana Allers to join me in discussing." Shepard glanced at the two women as she said their names. "As you have heard by now, there is an anti-human organization calling themselves The Dissension who have declared war on humanity despite the very adamant and very public disavowal made by both the Council and turian Primarch Fedorian. It has also been suggested that Councilor Sparatus could be involved with this organization. Councilor Sparatus denies the accusations, and has recused himself from the Council and submitted himself for investigation."

Taking that as her cue, Diana jumped right in. "Commander Shepard, what can you tell us about The Dissension?"

"At this point, little is known about the group or what exactly it is that they want other than for humanity to be removed from galactic society. To the best of my knowledge, they have not identified a leader, have made no specific demands, and have yet to take actions warranting the classification of terrorism," Shepard said. "The group is being investigated on multiple-fronts and information will likely be released to the public as it is discovered and deemed appropriate by the Council and respective governments."

 _"'_ _Deemed appropriate' … that's political speak for we'll tell you the least amount we can get away with,"_ Jane said.

"Commander, my resources tell me that you may have been key in uncovering The Dissension. Do you care to comment on that?" Emily asked.

Shepard schooled her carefully crafted mask of authority before her eyebrow could twitch in surprise. Emily had definitely been doing her homework. Shepard wondered exactly who her contacts where and what resources she had access to.

"During a visit to a prison vessel, it was discovered that there was a list of people interested in attempting to purchase me in an auction, should the warden of the prison be able to capture me. He was unable to do so, clearly." Shepard allowed herself a small smile. "The list was retrieved and on that list was a name that eventually led back to a turian who was found on the Citadel. The turian was placed under arrest for his attempts in human trafficking among various other crimes. It was during interrogation that this turian named The Dissension and their intent to purchase me at this auction."

"So there were other names on that list? Other people who were seeking to purchase you at this auction," Diana said.

 _"_ _They're good. Too good, don't let them trip you up. You really should have insisted on reviewing their footage before any of it was released,"_ Jane said.

"Yes, there were other names but I am not at liberty to reveal those names or their connections at this time as it is still an ongoing investigation," Shepard said.

"Did this turian divulge what it is that The Dissension wanted you for?" Diana asked.

"From what I was able to ascertain, The Dissension intended to use me as leverage against the Alliance. I do not know the nature of how they intended to do this, only that they hoped it would convince the Alliance to back out of galactic politics or risk starting a war," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Which they've gone and declared anyway, and if they aren't snuffed out fast, they'll inevitably get,"_ Jane said.

"Commander, there was an incident on the Citadel not too long ago involving a large group of dead turians in the warehouse district. Was this related to The Dissension?" Emily asked.

Shepard felt Jane's satisfied smirk creep through. _"Maybe they do have a reason to ask about me."_

"Yes. A group of turians associated with The Dissension made another attempt to abduct me. I was forced to defend myself, and consider myself lucky and grateful that I have a supportive team that came to my aid." Shepard shifted her weight again, hoping they wouldn't question her further on that night.

 _"_ _You're taking credit for my kills, Dawn. That's not very nice,"_ Jane said.

"No, I'm saying that I had to defend myself and my team helped. That's not a lie." Shepard thought, growing agitated by Jane's interruptions while she was trying to choose her words carefuly.

"Reports show that a turian politician, Joram Talid, was recently killed while in C-Sec custody. The nature of his charges have not been disclosed, and an investigation into his death is still ongoing," Emily said. "My resources suggest that a turian Spectre may have been responsible for Talid's death. Commander, can you tell us if this was also related to The Dissension? It is no secret that Talid's campaign revolved around anti-human views."

 _"_ _Who the hell are her resources? That's classified, isn't it?"_ Jane asked.

Dianna glanced at Emily, her eyebrows raised. Shepard wasn't sure if she was more impressed by Emily's investigative skills or her grit when it came to asking the hard questions. Apparently, Diana was equally impressed – or perhaps feeling threatened, Shepard was unsure.

"As it still involves an ongoing investigation, I am unfortunately unable to comment on Mr. Talid or any crimes he may or may not have committed prior to his death. I am also unable at this time to speculate on whether his death was caused by a Council Spectre," Shepard said.

 _"_ _The Council isn't going to like this at all,"_ Jane said.

"I'm not sure I care," Shepard thought.

"Is there anything that you can tell us about the investigation into Councilor Sparatus?" Diana asked.

"I have not yet been given any details about the investigation. I know only that the other councilors appear to remain unconvinced of the accusations, even as they remain objective on the matter," Shepard said.

 _"_ _Fantastic doublespeak. I think you may just have a knack for this stuff,"_ Jane said.

"Do you believe that the councilor was involved?" Emily asked.

"It is my personal opinion that Councilor Sparatus is not involved with The Dissension. That being said, I have no evidence to support this opinion, and am only speaking from personal observations and interactions with the councilor. I believe that he has acted with honor in the matter, and I fully expect for him to be cleared of all charges," Shepard said.

 _"_ _You realize that even if he is cleared, that accusation will linger over his head and taint public opinion for as long as he's in office. He'll never be trusted again,"_ Jane said.

"If the councilor is not involved, why do you suppose he was named?" Emily asked.

"Again, I can only offer speculation but I believe that Councilor Sparatus is in a powerful position as a member of the Council, and it would add credence to The Dissension if they could convince the galactic community that Councilor Sparatus was among their ranks." Shepard waved a hand dismissively to emphasize her point as she continued. "Strategically speaking, if the councilor was indeed among The Dissension, I believe his name would have been a closely guarded secret likely only known to those top ranking individuals within the organization."

Shepard held a hand out, palm up. "Because of his position of power, were he genuinely involved with the group, releasing his name would only cripple their organization because as we have seen, it warrants the removal of the councilor from that position of power." Shepard held out her other hand. "Whereas naming an innocent man in a position of power opens the door to the possibility of convincing the public that they are stronger than they truly are if they can convince the public of his guilt."

 _"_ _As much as that makes sense, the layman isn't going to grasp that. They're going to believe he was named because it's the truth. We both know it,"_ Jane said.

"The Dissension has openly declared war against humanity. As you have said yourself, Commander, both the turian Hierarchy and the Council have opposed this declaration but what does this mean for humanity?" Diana asked.

"The Alliance is not considering this an idle threat, nor are they considering this a threat made by the Hierarchy, but rather a threat made by one very specific group." Shepard wanted the fact that The Dissension were acting outside of Hierarchy to be emphasized as much as possible. "The fact that this group happens to be turian holds no bearing to the Alliance, as they are clearly not speaking or acting for all turians and certainly not for the Hierarchy."

 _"_ _Tsk tsk, you don't know that. You don't really know what the Alliance's stance is on this. You're not really in the Alliance loop anymore. Careful, Dawn, you're treading into unfamiliar territory and you're going to get your ass handed to you over it,"_ Jane said.

Shepard fought the urge to wince. Jane was right; she was coming close to making claims that could get her in serious trouble. Hell, this entire interview could get her in serious trouble. She hadn't cleared the idea with the Council or the Alliance; she was acting on her own and skating on thin ice.

"Yes, but outside of the Alliance's stance, what does it mean for humanity, Commander?" Dianna asked.

"I can only make speculations based on observations, Ms. Allers. From what I have seen here on the Citadel today, I would say that what we can expect is for tensions to continue to run high while both humans and turians – as well as the rest of the galactic community – wait to see what The Dissension will do now that their declaration has been made." Shepard looked down at the floor in front of her for a moment before returning her eyes to the cameras positioned behind and to the sides of the two reporters.

"The Dissension is doing what it can to strike fear into the hearts of every human. We are a strong race, and we do not cower easily. Unfortunately, because The Dissension is an ambiguous term we have no faces to put to this enemy other than those they claim to represent – turians." Shepard could feel herself getting choked up, tears threatening her eyes as she thought about how easily this thing could get out of hand. "For many humans, their desire to protect themselves and their loved ones from this unknown enemy has led to them retaliating against any turian they cross paths with. They are letting their fear turn to hatred, and that is a very dangerous path to take. It is a path we have walked far too many times in human history, and it is one that I sincerely hope to see us avoid now."

 _"_ _Strong words coming from someone working with Cerberus,"_ Jane said.

"Don't give me that crap," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _I'm just telling you how they're going to see it, Dawn. You've associated yourself with a group that is considered to be an anti-alien terrorist organization and here you are spouting off inclusive idealism in the face of an anti-human terrorist organization. You're branding yourself a hypocrite,"_ Jane said.

A long silence stretched between the three of them, broken only by the quiet hum of the cameras. Shepard struggled with the heavy truth of Jane's words. They would think she was a hypocrite. Just as she was beginning to really question the wisdom of doing the interview, Emily broke the silence as she pushed her short hair behind her ear.

"Commander, do you have any parting words for our viewers?" Emily asked.

Shepard cleared her throat and nodded her head. "To The Dissension, if any of you are watching; know that we will not be intimidated, we will not be cowed, we will not be broken. To the Hierarchy, I thank you for your public support of peace and your swift actions on dealing with this organization."

"To the turian civilians, C-Sec officers, and soldiers who are finding themselves suddenly in a hostile environment filled with wary glances, angry words, and aggressive behaviors towards you simply because you are turian – I am truly sorry." Shepard gave a sad shake of her head. "Know that not all of humanity sees you as the enemy, and there are those of us who are fighting to set things right again."

"To the humans who have found themselves suddenly suspicious of their neighbors, afraid of their co-workers, or who are otherwise tempted to lay blame at the feet of every turian you meet I beg you to remember the times in our history when we were faced with similar threats." Shepard paused, tilting her head to the side and making herself remember, too. "Remember both the honorable and the dishonorable ways that we dealt with those threats, then remember the costs of both and choose the honorable path. Thank you, that is all."

 _"_ _The dice haven't been cast yet, you can still tell them you've changed your mind,"_ Jane said.

"How soon will this air?" Shepard asked.


	54. Chapter 31: It's Not a Party

**Chapter 31: It's Not a Party**

"So we're having a party at the councilor's place? Fuck yeah!" Jack grinned, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the table in the comm room.

Images of Jack dancing on the dining room table of Anderson's apartment flitted across her mind. Shepard blinked her eyes and shook her head.

"No, Jack, we're having dinner at the councilor's apartment." Shepard raised her eyebrows, warning the biotic to be on her best behavior. "Though, technically, I have a feeling that you're more so there to create a _mild_ distraction so the councilor can speak with me in private."

Jack's simple grin took on a mischievous tilt. "I can do distraction."

"Jack." Shepard shook her head while Garrus chuckled.

"I'll bring the ryncol." Grunt bounced on his feet a little, soaking in Jack's enthusiasm.

"Grunt, no. We're not bringing ryncol. This is not a party." Shepard splayed her palms out on the table and leaned forward, eyeing the adolescent krogan.

Images of Grunt, drunk and unconscious, sitting in the shower stall washed over her. The shower on full blast, the krogan mumbled in his sleep.

"I don't need the party play though, Jane," Shepard thought.

"Hell yeah, bring lots of that shit." Jack slapped Grunt on the shoulder, giving him a little shake.

"I mean, I can at least bring cerveza, right?" James asked. "Anderson would be cool with that. Right?"

Shepard let out a faint whimper and pinched the bridge of her nose. She looked up in time to see Jack exchanging a high five with James. "Alright, alright. You can bring beer. Just beer. A _reasonable amount_ of beer. That's it."

"Come on, Shepard. We might as well drink juice," Grunt said.

"This isn't a party! This isn't even a real dinner invite for gods' sake! We don't know what Anderson wants to talk about; he could be calling us in to send right back out the door five minutes later on a mission or something. It's a cover, that's it. He probably isn't even expecting me to show up with _all_ of you."

"All of us? Does that mean Legion gets to come, too?" The hopeful lilt to Lia's voice dug at Shepard's resolve.

"Lia … trust me, I'd love to have Legion with us but a geth walking around the Citadel … it just isn't a good idea," Shepard said.

"Well, what if nobody sees him?" Kasumi asked.

Garrus chuffed, his mandibles fluttering. "He's a little hard to miss."

Kasumi cocked her hip to the side and disappeared, her tactical cloak activating. "Not if he uses cloaking. I don't see any reason why he can't incorporate it into his systems. You said that some of the heretics you've fought used cloaking, right?"

Shepard threw her hands up. "If he can keep himself cloaked, he can go. This isn't mandatory, so if any of you don't want to go that's fine. Otherwise, be ready in an hour."

Shepard left the comm room and made her way to life support, Thane's soothing presence beside her. She settled down to the floor and pulled her boots off, shoving them aside. It took a little poking and prodding from Thane to get her into the proper position, but once there she was able to fall easily into the breathing exercises.

She took a deep breath in, letting it out slowly. Jane squirmed restlessly in her mind.

 _"_ _What do you think Anderson wants to talk about?"_ Jane asked.

Shepard took in another breath, acknowledging Jane's question and letting it go. Now was not the time.

 _"_ _Do you think he wants you to go after that rogue Spectre?"_ Jane asked.

Shepard breathed deeply, holding it for a second longer than she intended before letting it out a little bit more forcefully than she should.

"Focus on the flow of energy, Siha." Thane's voice, soft and warm cut through her growing ire.

Shepard had a vague understanding of the seven chakras that human tradition, stimming from ancient Indian culture, used to be mindful of the flow of energy through their bodies and to reach a higher level of spiritual enlightenment. She had to throw that mentality out of the window when she agreed to work with Thane. He taught her what he knew, and although there were similarities, the merged hanar and drell view encompassed the entirety of the body as opposed to the straight line through the trunk and head of the body that humans adhered to. Thane's version felt more like a disoriented tree, branching out through the arms and legs, with points spread out through all of the joints.

Shepard gave a slight nod and tried to feel the energy flowing through her, starting with the tips of her fingers and toes. She felt the hairs on her arms raise as her biotics flared to life, responding to her thoughts. Shepard blew out a frustrated breath and let her shoulders slouch.

Thane chuckled. "Don't be discouraged, Siha. This is a normal response in biotics. In time, if you wish, you can learn to control the flare during meditation."

 _"_ _Must be why Samara always flares when she meditates,"_ Jane said.

Shepard straightened her spine once more. Taking a deep breath, she focused on the flow of energy, letting her biotics flare as they willed.

 _"_ _Hey, you know what we should be doing instead of this? We should be spending time with Mordin practicing letting me out at will. I like that idea much better,"_ Jane said.

Breathe in.

 _"_ _Do you think any of them will ever be able to tell us what's happening with us? Why we keep living through this cycle?"_ Jane asked.

Breathe out.

 _"_ _So, what did you think about John? You do realize that it isn't really you that he cares about, right?"_ Jane asked.

Breathe in.

 _"_ _I know he thinks he can take over. That's not going to happen, Dawn. That'll never happen,"_ Jane said.

Breathe out.

 _"_ _Gods damn it, stop ignoring me!"_ Jane yelled, pain lancing through Shepard's head.

"Fuck." Shepard growled, her biotics dissipating.

"Siha," Thane said.

"No, I can't fucking do this. It's not working. This is never going to work." Shepard jumped to her feet. "I'm sorry, Thane. I just can't do this. Not right now. I should get ready for Anderson's anyway."

 _"_ _That's right; it isn't going to work because I'm not some delusion to be quieted with calm thoughts and deep breathing. I'm real, Dawn. I'm real and I'm here with you. Always,"_ Jane said.

Thane watched her from his spot on the floor, rising to his feet when she grabbed her boots and flopped down in one of the chairs. "We've barely started, Shepard. Given time—."

"I don't _have_ time, Thane." Shepard met his gaze, tears threatening to spill over. "It's getting worse. I can feel it. They're—they're starting a war in here." Shepard dug her fingers into her temple, rising to her feet, her boots on but untied. "Breaking off into factions, vying for power. Jane's got psychos pulling her strings and John's fucking talking about mutiny. I don't have _time_."

 _"_ _Name calling isn't nice, Dawn. Their lives are at stake here, too. Shouldn't they have a say in what happens to them?"_ Jane asked.

Thane's hand darted toward her face, lightning fast. Before Shepard could think to be shocked that he was striking out at her, her arm was there to block the hit. Jane growled in her head. Another strike, aimed low at her shoulder made her shift, dodging the blow. Jane insisted that she hit him back. Instead, her body fell into a defensive stance on its own accord. Another strike, aimed at her head was pushed away with her finger tips.

The corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk. "A week ago, you couldn't do that."

 _"_ _What the hell?"_ Jane grumbled.

Shepard shook her head, but smiled despite herself. "Yeah, well, fighting is something I excel at." She pointed at the spot on the floor where she had been sitting. "This … this is something else entirely. I feel like there's a storm brewing inside of me and I don't have any control over when or where it's going to hit."

"No one can control a storm, Siha, but we can learn the skills we need to remain standing when it passes." His hand reached for her face, his movements measured and slow letting her know he was done with forcing her to defend herself. "You are stronger than this. Stronger than anyone I've ever met. This thing that you're dealing with would have shattered anyone else long ago." He caressed her cheek with his thumb, Shepard leaning into his palm. "Don't give up hope, Siha."

"No, you're right. I'm sorry. I'll try again tomorrow, I promise." Shepard closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his waist beneath his jacket and tucking her head under his chin.

 _"_ _When the storm hits, you'll understand. You'll understand I'm doing what has to be done. For all of us, including you,"_ Jane said.

"You really believe that, don't you?" Shepard thought.

"Indeed. Perhaps we will also talk about John and his mutiny. You haven't mentioned him before." Thane pressed his lips against her scalp.

 _"_ _Of course I do,"_ Jane said.

Shepard groaned.

"You haven't spoken to Garrus or your caretakers about this either, have you?" Thane asked his words muffled in her hair.

Shepard shook her head reluctantly. A low hum rumbled through his chest but he didn't say anything else. Shepard was relieved he wasn't going to chastise her, she just wasn't ready to deal with it all yet. Especially after the comments Garrus made about killing Jane. That scared her; she felt certain that destroying Jane would destroy herself.

Thane lifted her chin with a knuckle, his eyes black orbs in the shadows. His thumb brushed her lip, leaving the faintest trace of venom behind. Shepard licked her lip, pulling the taste of him in. Heat coursed through her as his lips parted in response, his gaze fixed on her mouth. Leaning forward, his lips grazed hers. Shepard's breath caught in her throat, her fingers tugging at the leather of his vest pulling him closer.

He grinned before bringing his mouth back to hers, tugging at her lower lip before trailing the tip of his tongue over the tender skin. Shepard ran her hands up his back until she could feel the bare scales of his shoulders beneath her fingertips, straining the leather of his jacket. She pushed into him, forming her body to his and nipped gently at his lip. His moan stoking the fire building inside of her, she pushed her hips into his.

Thane cleared his throat and pulled back to look at her with a smirk. "I believe we have a party to get ready for."

Shepard let out an exasperated sigh and let her hands drop from him so she could slap his arm. "It's not a party!" She stuck her lip out in a pout.

Thane's laughter echoed off the walls, warming her heart and bringing a smile to her lips. Gods she loved him. She'd been fighting the urge to utter those three words to him since Kahje, forcing herself to hold them back, knowing he wasn't ready to reciprocate. Not that he had to feel the same, but she didn't want to burden him any further. She didn't want him to feel obligated or rushed in anyway.

 _"_ _So tell him. You know that you don't have a lot of time with him, and the others … they never said it enough. We never say it enough."_ The sincerity in Jane's words caught Shepard off guard, her smile fading.

"What's wrong?" Thane's brow dipped in concern.

Shepard cleared her throat and took a step back, putting a little space between them. Thane's hands slipped away from her, confusion etched into his features as he tucked his hands behind his back.

"I … I want to tell you something." Shepard cleared her throat. "Jane's right about one thing. I don't have a lot of time with you."

"Siha." Thane reached for her again but Shepard shook her head.

"No, wait. Just listen. OK?" Shepard waited until he tucked his hands behind his back again, his gaze unfaltering as he watched her.

"We don't have a lot of time together, no matter how optimistic I am about this war. We just don't. I know that all of this with Jane makes things more difficult for us, too." Shepard pushed her hair behind her ear and crossed her arms. "And I know that you've felt at a disadvantage with the things that I know, and probably more so realizing that I felt something for you beyond what the others felt."

Thane's jaw twitched ever so slightly and she knew he was refraining from speaking because she had asked him to just listen. Shepard nodded and licked her lips, giving them what little moisture her mouth could produce.

"I don't want to wait for some 'right time' that might never come, or come just before it's too late." Shepard licked her lips again and squared her shoulders. "So, I'm going to say what I need to say and then I'm going to walk out of that door and you're going to let me. And I hope you forgive me for it, because I think there's a part of you that needs to hear it, and I need to say it. But I'm not willing to put you in a position where you feel you should say something you don't fully mean."

Thane swallowed his jaw spasmed again before he swallowed once more and dipped his head in acquiescence.

Shepard stepped a little closer, her hand reaching out to cradle his face. She brushed a thumb across his cheek much as he had hers moments before. "I love you."

He closed his eyes, and her hand fell away. Shepard turned and forced herself to walk away, her boots threatening to slip off her feet. She didn't stop though, not until she was in the elevator and the door was closed behind her. She let out a shuddering breath and hit the button for her cabin.

 _"_ _Feel better?"_ Jane asked.

"A little. And a little terrified," Shepard thought, bending to pull the laces of her boots through the hooks and tie them off.

An hour later, Shepard stopped in front of the two guards standing outside of Anderson's apartment door. They were different guards from the ones she dealt with earlier in the day, one asari and one human in Alliance gear. The asari pulled her biotic energy around her hands while the soldier lowered his assault rifle.

Shepard held up her shopping bags filled with ingredients and beer. "Just here to surprise an old friend with dinner, no need to for things to get ugly, now is there?"

Samara, Zaeed, Mordin, and Miranda had opted to stay on the Normandy. The others were packed in behind and to the side of Shepard. She knew showing up armed to the teeth and in armor wasn't going to win her any favors, but she wasn't going anywhere on the Citadel without adequate defense no matter how many of her crew were with her. Of course since she was in full gear, she couldn't expect the others to leave theirs behind. She was a Spectre though, so she could get away with it whether Anderson's guards liked it or not.

"Jackson, she's a Spectre." The asari let her biotics die down as Shepard fought off a grin.

The Alliance officer glanced at the asari before looking back at Shepard then to Garrus, his gun shifting with him. "She's also unexpected, armed, and with a group of armed individuals. One of them turian."

Garrus stilled beside Shepard, even as Jane began moving around agitatedly in her head. Jane was itching to wrap her hands around the soldier's throat and choke the life from him for daring to point a gun at one of her crew. Shepard could feel the desire seeping into her own hands. She shook her head and put the bags down next to her feet. The movement drew the attention of the officer back to her but his gun stayed trained on Garrus.

Shepard plastered a toothy grin on her face. "You even _think_ about pulling that trigger on him and I'll rip your balls out through your throat. Now why don't you do the smart thing here and tell Councilor Anderson that he has company and let _him_ decide whether he wants to invite us in or not?"

Jackson glared at Shepard. She could hear Jack, Grunt, James, and she thought Kasumi and even Lia snickering and whispering behind her. Jane laughed raucously. Shepard held up a hand and the noise died down, all except for Jane.

 _"_ _Look at him! Oh he wants to put you down now. He's hoping you'll give him an excuse. Poor kid actually thinks he stands a chance,"_ Jane said.

The asari's eyes widened and she nodded her head. "Yes ma'am, right away. I'll inform the councilor that you're here."

"Thank you," Shepard said, giving her a genuine smile as she disappeared in the apartment.

The tension remained high in the hall as Jackson refused to lower his weapon. Shepard had to admit that she was a little impressed and proud that the Alliance still put steel into their soldier's spines. A moment later the door opened again and the asari stepped back outside, Anderson behind her.

"Shepard! What a pleasant surprise." Anderson held his arms out to her and grinned.

She stepped forward and let Anderson wrap his arms around her, flashing a smug smile at Jackson as she returned Anderson's embrace. Jackson's ears wiggled as he clenched his jaw but nodded his head, lowering his rifle.

 _"_ _That's right kid,"_ Jane said.

Shepard stepped back and picked up the bags. "Thought you could use dinner and some friendly faces."

"Perfect timing, I was just starting to get hungry. Come on in." Anderson held his hand out to Garrus as Jack slipped past the guards and into the apartment, the others starting to file in behind her. "Garrus, good to see you. How've you been?"

Garrus smiled, his mandibles fluttering lightly as the tension seeped out of him. He took Anderson's hand in his own. "I've been better, all things considered. It's good to see you, too. I hope our sudden arrival didn't upset any plans."

"Ha, are you kidding?" Anderson put a hand on Garrus' elbow, guiding him through the door. "This is the highlight of my week."

Shepard followed them inside, Thane behind her the last to enter. The door slid closed behind them. Shepard headed straight for the kitchen and dropped the bags on the counter. Shepard looked around the apartment, almost exactly as Jane remembered. There was a missing knick-knack here, a different painting there, but essentially just the same. Anderson stopped at the counter to help her empty the bags.

 _"_ _It smells like him. Like Anderson. Home."_ Jane's voice took on a wistful tone, making Shepard nostalgic for simpler years spent training and working missions that seemed to make sense.

"Yeah," Shepard thought.

"We alone in here?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah. I refused to allow my home to be taken over by guards, I told the Alliance and the Council that they could have one each outside the door and that was it. One of them comes in every half hour or so to do a sweep." Anderson moved to a cabinet and pulled out a cutting board and knives. "They weren't too happy about it, but I reminded them that before I was a councilor I was the Captain of the Normandy and a veteran N7. That shut them up. I feel like I'm on damn lockdown, Shepard."

"Sorry, Anderson. They just want to keep you alive. Maybe you should remind them of that more often." Shepard grinned. "So, you want to tell me why the secrecy for dinner?"

"Go on in that bedroom and get that armor off, Shepard. Get comfortable and relax, we've got plenty of time to talk." Anderson said popping the top off of one of the beers James bought. "Let's kill two birds with one stone, and actually enjoy ourselves for a few hours. What do you say?"

Shepard caught the rough edges of a frown threatening to break free before Anderson forced a smile and averted his gaze.

 _"_ _Something is definitely wrong,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah, I get that. He's not going to talk until he's ready, though," Shepard thought.

"Hey, he's got a bar, Shepard!" Jack's voice carried through the apartment.

"It's not a party, Jack!" Shepard shouted back.

 _"_ _That doesn't mean you can't push him,"_ Jane said.

Anderson chuckled. "Help yourself."

"Oh you really shouldn't have told her that." Shepard shook her head.

"I'm not going to push him. He asked me here for a reason, he's not going to let me leave until he tells me what that was," Shepard thought.

Jack's voice carried back to them. "Thank you, Mr. Councilor, sir!"

Shepard cringed. Anderson laughed and pushed Shepard toward the downstairs bedroom. She followed orders, heading into the bedroom. She heard the door close behind her as she started to remove her weapons from their holsters and turned around to see Garrus. She gave him a hopeful smile, they really hadn't talked much since she snapped at him in the med bay and he said he needed space. Her heart fluttered when he returned her smile and started helping her with her armor. Shepard felt Jane retreat, closing herself off from Shepard, giving her privacy. Her breastplate slipped away and Garrus tossed it to the bed before pulling her back against his chest. She felt him bend, his face moving to the crook of her neck, his warm tongue trailing over the sensitive flesh.

Shepard let out a throaty chuckle. "As much as I've missed you, this is so not the time or the place."

His hot breath blew across her neck before teeth nipped at her skin. Shepard groaned and leaned her weight against him. "Garrus."

"Hmm?" He nipped at her again, sliding his arm around her side to circle around her chest.

"We're in Anderson's apartment and most of the crew is out there." She tilted her head to the side, giving him better access to her neck, contradicting her words.

A knock at the door brought a low growl from Garrus. Shepard chuckled and turned around standing on her tip-toes to kiss him before turning her attention to the door.

"Yeah?" Shepard said loud enough to be heard in the hall.

"Ídolo, Garrus in there with you?" James' voice was muffled by the door.

Garrus crossed the floor and opened the door. James looked up at him before glancing at Shepard and waggled his eyebrows. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Yes," Garrus said. "Go away."

"No." Shepard laughed. "What do you need, James?"

James turned his attention back to Garrus with a shit-eating grin. "I figured you should probably be the one to cook yours and Lia's food. I don't want to mess it up, have you on the can all night. Women don't think that's sexy."

Jane snickered, resurfacing now that the moment had passed.

Jack showed up, leaning against the doorframe next to James with a glass of clear liquid in her hand. "No one thinks that shit's sexy. Unless they have some sort of sick fetish." She took a long drink. "Are ya'll in here fucking? I thought you said this wasn't a party, Alliance?"

"Alright, out, all of you! I am perfectly capable of taking off my own armor." She demonstrated by working the clasps at her hips. "Garrus, go make sure Vega doesn't give you food poisoning. Jack, thank you for using a glass."

Garrus chuffed but followed James out of the room.

 _"_ _He'll always come back to us, you know that, right?"_ Jane asked.

"You're the one who said I'd broken him," Shepard thought.

"I'm trying to be all proper and shit, Shepard. We're in a goddamn councilor's apartment. So shut the fuck up about it before you make me feel like a pussy and I have to kick your ass to prove that I'm not." Jack came the rest of the way in and sat her glass down on the nightstand, surprisingly on a coaster. "Here, let me do that."

 _"_ _You did, but he's putting himself back together again. Not quite the same Garrus I remember, but still just as reliable. Loyal. The most loyal person we've ever met,"_ Jane said.

Shepard laughed and shook her head at Jack's colorful explanation, moving her hands aside so Jack's nimble fingers could finish the clasps securing the armor to her hips and thighs. "Thanks, Jack."

 _"_ _You've changed them all, but somehow they're still the same. The core parts of them. Just like you, Dawn. Your core is the same. My core. Our core. We are one, and we can make this thing work if you just accept that,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah. Well, I figure if you're ballsy enough to bring me in here, the least I can do is not wreck the place." Jack slid the pieces of armor away and Shepard turned to sit on the bed, working on her greaves. "He's important to you, isn't he?"

"I'm not going to give myself over to you, Jane. I can't do that. I won't do that. I am my own person, with my own hopes, and dreams, and fears. What you're asking is suicide," Shepard thought, rubbing her hands on her arms and staring off into space.

"Shepard?" Jack's voice cut through the dread building in Sheaprd.

Shepard looked up at Jack, scrambling to remember what the other woman said as she stood, crossing her arms over her stomach. "Who?"

"The councilor," Jack said.

"Yeah, yeah he is. Why do you ask?" Shepard tossed her greaves on the pile with the rest.

 _"_ _Is it? Are you sure about that? What if it's just giving us the chance to live again, too?"_ Jane asked.

Jack grinned and picked her glass back up from the nightstand. "He's got pictures of you hanging up in his study. You look different. Younger, less jaded but it's you in Alliance dress."

Shepard smiled, warmth filling her chest and chasing away the heavy weight of Jane's suggestion. "He's the closest thing I've had to a father since mine died."

"And I couldn't have been more proud if you were my own." Shepard's gaze darted to the door where Anderson stood with his hands tucked behind his back, shoulders squared and head held high. "You must be Jack, we were never formally introduced. I'm David Anderson."

Jack swallowed the rest of her drink and accepted Anderson's hand when he held it out to her. "So, if you're like a dad to Shepard, I bet you've got some good stories about her, don't you?"

 _"_ _Oh the stories he could tell,"_ Jane said with a chuckle.

Anderson laughed but gave her a slight shake of his head. "That I do, but I like my head right where it is on my shoulders, thank you."

Shepard draped an arm over Jack's shoulder as she snorted. "Hey, Alliance, you tell Daddy you got a new tattoo?"

"Jack, please. Father figure I can handle but now you're just making me feel old." Anderson held a hand out, a sign of polite encouragement to stop to anyone but Jack.

Shepard laughed and bumped Jack with her hip. "Snitch."

 _"_ _She's still pushing though, seeing what you'll let her get away with. Seeing when you'll tell her to go to hell and turn her away,"_ Jane said.

"They're really half-hearted attempts, if that's the case," Shepard thought. "Jack can do so much worse than that."

"Just tell me it isn't the Cerberus logo and I can breathe easy, Shepard." Anderson's eyes searched her face, neck and arms for any sign.

 _"_ _It's because she doesn't really want you to push her away,"_ Jane said. _"Just like you don't really want to push me away."_

Shepard scoffed, whether at Anderson or Jane she wasn't sure. She turned around, lifting the back of her shirt and pulling it forward over her head, leaving her arms trapped in the fabric. Jack shoved Shepard's hair over her shoulder before pulling her bra strap down and pushing the shoulder straps aside to showcase the phoenix.

"Mmm. Looks good. I like it. That your handiwork, Jack?" Anderson asked.

"Fuck yeah, it's good right?" Jack asked, pride heavy in her voice.

 _"_ _And now he knows just how much you trust her … just how much he can trust her, too,"_ Jane said. _"Now he's going to test that."_

"Jack!" Shepard scolded.

"What damn it? I'm using a damn glass and even used a coaster. What do you expect, Shepard?" Jack grumbled.

Anderson's rich baritone laugh filled the air. "Boy she's sure got spirit, I'll give her that. If it weren't for her record, I'd be giving her the recruitment spiel."

Shepard's spine stiffened and she turned slowly to look at Jack, pulling her shirt back over her head. Shepard hated Jane for being right, and hated herself more for not seeing it coming. Anderson glanced at Shepard, undoubtedly picking up the change in her mood. His relaxed stance didn't change, but Shepard knew he'd be ready to defend himself it Jack did something stupid. Jack watched the councilor, tight lipped and narrowed eyed.

"You know who I am?" Jack finally asked.

"Of course." Anderson's reply was simple, relaxed, carrying with it no hint of what he might be thinking.

"She tell you that?" Jack gave a quick jerk of her head toward Shepard.

"She didn't have to, I'm humanity's councilor and she's my favorite Spectre. Finding out who you are—who all of you are—wasn't the most difficult thing I've had to do." Anderson gave a light shrug.

Jack adjusted her grip on the empty tumbler in her hand. "So how's this going to play out?"

 _"_ _Still Jack, at her core. You can never change that, and why would you want to? She's fantastic, isn't she?"_ Jane asked. _"Oh for fucksake, John! Settle down, she's fine."_

"Jack, it's not—." Shepard started to say.

"The way I see it, there's nothing to play out. You're working with Shepard now, helping her to fight the collector threat and save humanity. It's clear she trusts you, and that tells me all I need to know." Anderson's calm did little to relax Shepard.

Jack raised an eyebrow. "That's it?"

"That's it." Anderson gave a curt nod.

Shepard let out a rush of air, her bangs fluttering around caught up in the breeze.

 _"_ _See? She's fine, now fuck off,"_ Jane said.

Jack glanced at Shepard and grinned. "Calm your tits, Shepard. Daddy's pretty cool. I need a refill."

"She's fine," Shepard thought in agreement.

Jack moved past Anderson and walked out of the room, leaving Shepard alone with her mentor. Shepard ran her hand through her hair and shook her head. Anderson grinned.

"You did that on purpose." Shepard narrowed her eyes once more, pinning Anderson in her sights.

"Don't know what you're talking about, Shepard. Now, you're grounded for a month for getting a tattoo without permission. Go wash up for dinner." Anderson turned away, waving his hand toward the door.

Shepard snorted. "Yes, Daddy."

"Good God, it's even worse coming from you." Anderson shuddered, making Shepard and Jane laugh.

They left the room together, Anderson breaking away to shake hands with her crew and introduce himself to those he didn't know. Shepard gave the go-ahead for Legion to drop his tactical cloak after informing Anderson that he was present. She told him he needed to stay away from the door and activate his cloak again when the guards came in to do their sweeps. The first sweep happened a few minutes later. The asari commando opened the door, moving unobtrusively from room to room before heading back outside. Shepard glanced at her omni-tool, noting the time and how long the commando was in the apartment.

Shepard watched fondly as Anderson gripped Lia's shoulders and held her out from him to look her over and congratulate her on how far she'd come. James and Garrus worked side by side in the kitchen, preparing dinner while Kasumi lingered around stealing bits and pieces off of James' cutting board. Thane watched her from next to the fireplace as she leaned against the corner of the wall. She smiled at him warmly, tension she wasn't even aware of easing when he returned her smile.

"Hey look, Shepard! You're on!" Lia's voice drew Shepard's attention to the large screen mounted to the wall as Lia turned the volume up.

Shepard took a deep breath and moved with the crowd as everyone gathered to stare at the news report.

 _"_ _The moment of truth,"_ Jane said.

Anderson stopped beside her. "What's this?"

"Something else I didn't ask permission for," Shepard said. "Hopefully it was worth the risk."

Shepard watched in silence, her elbow resting on her other arm wrapped around her chest while her free hand pinched at her lower lip. She glanced to the side and saw Anderson standing in much the same position, briefly wondering if that's where she picked the habit up at. Anderson's brow was furrowed. Her crew whispered amongst themselves as Shepard's interview was broadcast galactically on multiple channels. The instant Shepard made her closing statements, both hers and Anderson's omni-tools began to beep furiously.

 _"_ _That would be the Council, let's hope they aren't calling to demand our head on a platter,"_ Jane said.

They exchanged glances before making their way to his study and opened their omni-tools. Shepard's inbox was being flooded with messages. She scrolled down the list of names and saw the Council, Sparatus, Primarch Fedorian, and from Admiral Hackett. Other messages came in from other news networks. Shepard didn't know how they had her extranet address but couldn't say she was surprised. She assumed they were requesting follow up interviews with her, but they were not a priority so she left them untouched. The Alliance officer, Jackson, poked his head into the study and glanced around. He nodded his head to Shepard and left again as she glanced at the time—thirty-two minutes from the last sweep.

"Yes, she's here with me now." Anderson said, drawing Shepard's attention.

She turned to see he was on a vid call with Tevos, turning to include Shepard in on the call. Shepard closed her omni-tool and stepped closer.

"That was a bold move, Commander. One that should have been discussed with the Council first. Councilor Anderson, did you know about this?" Tevos' mouth was pinched in a frown, a look Shepard rarely saw on the councilor's face.

 _"_ _Why so you could flounder in your indecision for a month first?"_ Jane's sarcasm seeped through Shepard.

"I learned about it the same way the rest of you did, Tevos." Anderson's curt tone cut off any further scolding Tevos might have been thinking of giving him.

"My apologies, ma'am. I didn't intend to overstep my bounds, I only wished to make my position clear in the hopes that it would help to ease tensions. I didn't reveal anything that has not already been made public." Shepard stood stiffly next to Anderson.

Tevos sighed and shook her head. "The Council will convene in the morning to discuss the potential ramifications of your public announcement, Commander. We expect you to be present."

 _"_ _Head on a platter,"_ Jane said.

"Yes, ma'am." Shepard gave a curt nod to the asari councilor.

The screen on Anderson's omni-tool went black and he let out a weary sigh. "Let's hope you're right, Shepard."

"Chow time! Come and get it!" James called from the kitchen.

"We'll grab some time to talk after we eat. Come on, let's go remember what it's like to relax for a few minutes." Anderson patted Shepard on the shoulder as he made his way past her.

Shepard ran her hands through her hair and followed him out. Her inbox could wait. Lia had the table set and the chairs were already filling up. Anderson held a chair out for Shepard at one end of the table before taking his seat at the opposite end. Shepard was a little amazed to see that both Grunt and Jack—her two most unruly crew members had taken up seats right next to Anderson. If Shepard didn't know Anderson so well, and know that he could handle the two of them just fine, she would have encouraged them to change seats with someone else.

Thane sat down at Shepard's left and James sat at her right until Garrus leaned down, putting his head next to James' ear for a moment. Shepard couldn't hear what he'd said, but it was enough to make the marine pick up his plate with a devilish grin and move down a space to sit next to Kasumi. Shepard chuckled and shook her head as Garrus smirked and took the empty seat.

"Legion, you don't want to sit with us?" Lia asked as Legion took up a position behind standing behind Shepard.

"This platform does not require nutritive sustenance, Creator Vael," Legion said.

"Well no, but you could still sit with us." Lia pulled out the empty chair next to her.

"We do not understand the need for this." Legion swung his head from Lia to look around the group.

 _"_ _She completely accepts him. Utterly and completely. It's amazing how easily she took to him,"_ Jane said.

"She's a good kid," Shepard thought.

Shepard remained quiet, silently cutting into her steak while watching. She felt her heart swell at the quarian's attempts to include Legion. She wanted to see how the rest of her team would respond. Most of them had adapted rather well to his presence in battle, but he stayed to himself on the ship.

"It's about community, Legion." Anderson said. "When we gather together to eat, it isn't about just feeding out bodies but giving us a chance to enjoy one another's company and discuss things that are important to us in our lives."

 _"_ _There's the councilor leaking through,"_ Jane said, bringing a smile to Shepard's mouth.

"The councilor's right, Legion. You're a part of our crew; you should be sitting with us." Jacob spoke from between Grundan Krul and Grunt.

Legion moved down the table. James hooked his hand under Kasumi's chair and pulled her a little closer, giving Legion a bit more room and earning him a sly grin from Kasumi. Legion positioned himself on the chair, and rested his palms on the table on either side of the empty plate. Shepard caught Jacob's eye and gave him an approving nod. He smiled at her cautiously before returning his attention to his plate. Quite conversation broken by the sounds of metal scraping ceramic resumed.

Within minutes, Grunt had Anderson telling him stories about the battles he'd fought and the different enemies he'd faced while Jack tried to one up him with her moments of glory. Lia talked across the table to Grundan Krul about his tech skills and they agreed to swap information with one another. Jacob talked to Legion about the geth and what they were doing with Rannoch now that the Morning War was over. Kasumi and James flirted shamelessly with one another, broken up by Garrus leaning over to interrupt, teasing James.

Shepard mostly stayed quiet, reveling in the sounds of friendly chatter and banter coming from her crew. She smiled every time Anderson's head tilted back in laughter, and grinned every time someone caught her eye. Thane spoke when spoken too, and smiled politely but never held a conversation for long. His gaze wavered between his plate and Shepard. Even when she was watching someone else she could feel his eyes on her, searching her face for what she wasn't sure.

Part way through, the asari commando made her sweep. She moved so quietly, that her presence was barely noted at all. Twenty-nine minutes after the last sweep. After she was gone again, and the plates were mostly empty, Anderson stood and made his way to Shepard's end of the table.

Anderson leaned down, putting his head next to Shepard's left ear and whispered. "We've got about a half hour before the next sweep. Anyone you want to join us?"

Shepard glanced between Garrus and Thane who both now had their attention riveted on Shepard and Anderson. They both nodded and pushed their chairs away from the table. Shepard stood when Anderson stepped back.

 _"_ _The sweeps are a little irregular. You need someone to stand watch,"_ Jane said.

She leaned forward over the table and caught Grundan Krul's attention. "Give us a heads up when they come in for the next sweep."

He nodded and left the table, making his way to lean against the wall behind the bar where he could watch the door and get to Anderson's study before the guard. Seeing Shepard leaving the table, the others started to migrate away as well, still laughing and talking amongst themselves.

They followed Anderson back to his study where they huddled around his desk. Anderson handed Shepard a datapad. "I never showed you this."

 _"_ _What is it?"_ Jane anxiously demanded, urging Shepard to take the datapad.

Shepard nodded and took the datapad. Garrus stood behind her, a hand on her lower back as he read over her shoulder. Thane waited patiently, his hands behind his back. The datapad contained a list of names, all turian. Next to each name listed were an occupation and the last known location. Shepard scrolled down the list, swallowing against a knot in her throat when she realized it was more than ten pages long.

 _"_ _Gods, what is that? Four-hundred? Five?"_ Jane asked.

"The list came in this morning, it was heavily encrypted and we still haven't been able to determine where it originated from or who sent it but it was made clear that whoever sent it is telling us that these people are a part of The Dissension." Anderson ran a hand over his face.

"How many?" Garrus hand balled into a fist against Shepard's back.

 _"_ _Garrus, don't. We'll fix this. We'll find a way,"_ Jane said, her words urgent but soothing.

"Over five hundred. We're working on checking the names, attempting to verify the auxiliary information but there isn't much that we can do not knowing the source." Anderson leaned on the back of his desk chair.

"Spirits, they're all over the galaxy." Garrus' words came out barely above a whisper, nearly lost to the din of the rest of the crew talking down the hall.

"Is this meant to be a complete list?" Shepard asked.

Even as Jane spoke, Shepard had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that she was right. _"No … no, it's only the beginning."_

Anderson shook his head. "I have no clue, Shepard."

"Who do you suspect sent the list? You must have an idea." Thane held his hand out to accept the datapad when Shepard offered it to him.

Anderson looked up at Thane and held his gaze for a moment before nodding his head. "My gut tells me it was Spectre Protalus."

 _"_ _Why? Why they think she killed Talid and went on the run,"_ Jane asked.

"Jane wants to know why. She's suspected of killing Talid and going rogue." Shepard crossed her arms over her chest.

"She is. The rest of the Council doesn't agree with my assessment. Quentius is fighting to keep this list quiet until it can be verified. Tevos thinks it was sent in by paranoid humans, and Valern … well, is Valern. Cynical and not willing to speculate." Anderson waved his hand aimlessly in the air.

"OK, say it is Protalus. Why?" Shepard leaned against Garrus, knowing that he needed the comfort as much as she did.

Anderson shook his head. "Maybe she saw an opportunity and grabbed it … thought she could do some good from the inside. Like you taking apart Cerberus while you have the chance."

 _"_ _Maybe she thinks she's made a mistake and is trying to fix it? Or if it isn't her, one of the others for the same reason,"_ Jane said.

Shepard raked her hands through her hair. "Can you send me a copy of the list? We'll go over it, see if there's anyone we recognize … or if there's anything we can verify."

"No, Shepard." Anderson shook his head adamantly. "Oh, don't you look at me like that. I'm not even supposed to be sharing this with you and you have enough on your plate as it is."

 _"_ _No?! Why even show us then?"_ Jane screeched in frustration.

"Cut the crap, Anderson. We both know that we wouldn't be having this conversation if you didn't fully expect me to do _something_ about it." Shepard bit her lip. "No offense, sir."

Anderson chuckled and ran his hands over his face again.

"The Shadow Broker." Garrus' words were so left field that everyone turned to stare at him with raised eyebrows.

"Shepard, you've already got plans in place to take down the Shadow Broker and replace him with someone else. Someone who can aid us in the war." Garrus shifted, his mandibles flaring in excitement. "With his resources, verifying this list would be nothing. Spirits, we could probably uncover every turian associated with The Dissension in a matter of weeks. Days, even."

 _"_ _But the only person for the job is dead,"_ Jane said.

"Shepard, if you can get your hands on the Shadow Broker's resources … it very well could be the thing to keep us from fighting two wars." Anderson looked between Garrus and Shepard, hope blossoming in his eyes.

"But who?" Shepard threw her hands up in the air. "It was supposed to be Liara. I don't know who else—."

"Grundan Krul." Garrus' pulled his mandibles in resolutely.

 _"_ _What? No. Absolutely not. We barely met him, and even if a dead man could be the Shadow Broker, we can't trust him the same way we did Liara. Can he even handle this? Do we really want a batarian with that much power?"_ Jane refused adamantly to even consider the idea.

"The batarian?" Anderson asked.

 _"_ _He's thinking the same thing, you know he is,"_ Jane said.

Shepard's mouth dropped open; she didn't know what to say. Garrus nodded at Anderson.

"He can handle it, Shepard. I trust him, he's smarter than anyone realizes, and he's loyal." Garrus put his hands on her shoulders. "Trust me. He can handle it."

"I—." Shepard choked on her words as the entire building suddenly shook. The glass in the windows shattering as the sound of an explosion deafened Shepard.


	55. Chapter 32: To Sleep and to Dream

**Chapter 32: To Sleep and to Dream**

Shepard barely spared the second it took to glance between the three men before she bolted out of the study. She nearly slammed into Grundan Krul on her way out. Shepard grabbed his arm and spun him back toward the living room as she raced past.

"Shepard, I have detected an explosion at your location. Are you in need of assistance?" EDI's voice broke through Shepard's earpiece.

"Assessing the situation now, EDI. Give me a minute," Shepard said.

Anderson's guards were already inside, their shoulders slumping when Anderson followed at her heels. Shepard didn't see where he picked it up from, but Anderson held a pistol in his steady grip. Her crew gathered around her, a sea of urgent faces waiting for orders.

"You two, get Anderson out of here now." Shepard stabbed her finger at the two guards. "Thane, James, you two go with them. You say nothing over the radio about where you're taking him."

"Shepard, I—." Shepard spun to glare at Anderson, cutting him off. He held his hands up in surrender. "Sparatus, Shepard, that's all I was going to say. He lives five floors up, number eighty-five."

"Shit. Grundan Krul, figure out where that blast came from. Legion, scan for any open comms. See if you can pick up any chatter from whoever the hell set that thing off." Shepard kept talking, yelling over her shoulder as she made her way to the bedroom where she left her armor and guns, Garrus following behind her.

Legion dropped his cloaking. "Yes, Shepard-Commander."

"Holy shit! Is that a geth?!" The asari commando flared her biotics.

Jack stepped between the asari and Legion with a devilish grin, pulling her own far more impressive biotic display up around her. "He's with us."

Shepard watched the standoff from the open doorway as Garrus worked the clasps of her armor, and she checked her thermal clips. Thane and James were already flanking Anderson, ushering him towards the door. The asari glanced between Legion, Jack, and Anderson one last time before nodding her head and falling into formation around the councilor. James barked an order, and Jackson fell in line, leaving the apartment with Anderson.

"Shepard-Commander, we have detected communication we believe to be relevant." The plates around Legion's optics fluttered.

Shepard tapped her mic. "Send the channel to EDI, Legion. EDI, figure out who we're dealing with and what they're after. I want locations, numbers, anything you can get. Inform the crew that the Normandy is on high alert."

"At once, Shepard." EDI's voice came through the comm.

 _"_ _How exciting,"_ Jane said.

"I've confirmed with EDI that the blast came from the eleventh floor, Commander," Grundan Krul said.

Shepard gave the batarian a sharp nod. Garrus fitted the last piece of her armor, before rapping his knuckles on her shoulder letting her know she was good to go. Shepard holstered her weapons and headed for the door.

"I am unclear on the numbers as of yet, Shepard. However, I have registered sixteen different turian voices so far and they are discussing whether to take Councilor Sparatus alive or kill him. If you wish to save the councilor's life, I suggest you hurry. They have reached the tenth floor," EDI said.

 _"_ _Five floors up for us, two floors down for them. Cakewalk,"_ Jane said.

Shepard wished she felt as sure as Jane did. "EDI, see if you can slow them down. Lock a few doors or something. Be creative."

"Very well, Shepard," EDI said.

"Explosion like that, the elevators will be out; we'll have to use the stairs," Jack said jogging next to Shepard as they raced down the hall.

"Jack is correct. The elevators have been disabled due to emergency protocol. However, I detect no malfunction in the system. I can override it for you, but it will take a few moments," EDI said.

"Get on it, EDI. We'll take the stairs until it's done." Shepard hit the release for the door to the stairs and started climbing.

"Hey, how come you didn't call her Ms. Jack?" Kasumi asked.

"Because she requested that I call her Jack. Do you wish to make a similar request, Ms. Goto?" EDI asked.

"Hmmm, no. I think I like Ms. Goto." Kasumi grinned.

 _"_ _I'd be happy if someone would just call me Shepard instead of Jane,"_ she mused. _"It's not fair, you know. I am Commander Shepard, I earned that title and the respect that comes along with it but no one can even manage to call me Shepard let alone Commander. Unless of course, I'm in the driver's seat and someone's watching. Can't let that little secret get out, now can we?"_

"OK, everyone can tell EDI their personal preferences when this shit is over. Focus people." Shepard grit her teeth and pushed on.

"Shepard, we have encountered hostile turians." Thane's voice broke through the comms.

"Keep him alive, Thane. Gods, please keep him alive," Shepard said.

"Of course, Siha." His voice was soft and reassuring in her ear amidst the sounds of gunfire.

Halfway to the next floor, the door opened above them, and panicked civilians rushed down the stairs. Shepard gave the order for her squad to move single file, giving just enough room for the civilians to squeeze past them but slowing the team down.

"Shepard, we're headed to your location. EDI can lock down the Normandy, and the Cerberus crew is trained to defend the ship should it come under attack," Miranda said over the comm.

"Negative. EDI keep Miranda updated with Councilor Anderson's position through her omni-tool until her team reaches them. They're under fire, get the councilor secure and then we'll talk." Shepard's tone left no room for argument.

"Yes, Commander." Displeasure at having been denied coated Miranda's words, but she didn't argue.

 _"_ _Looks like your new Illusive Man still isn't comfortable taking orders from you. You sure she'll listen to you when you had Cerberus' reins over to her?"_ Smug amusement seeped through to Shepard from Jane's words.

"Now's not the time, Jane," Shepard thought, clenching her jaw.

They reached the next floor, and Shepard breathed a sigh of relief as EDI informed her that the elevators were once again functional. Relief quickly turned to icy dread in the pit of her stomach when EDI said the enemy had reached the ninth floor. They rushed to the elevator and piled in. Shepard was acutely aware that with Grunt and Legion they were probably straining the elevator's weight capacity. She didn't dare tell the krogan he had to wait to catch the next one up, and she didn't want to risk further panicking fleeing civilians by leaving Legion.

Miraculously, the elevator held out through its groans of protest and stopped on the eighth floor. The doors opened to utter chaos. Gunfire overpowered screams of terror as armed turians fired on civilians, trying to escape.

 _"_ _Get down!"_ Jane's knee-jerk reaction tore through her head, the words finding their way to her own lips.

Shepard lowered her assault rifle. "Get down! Get down!"

She pushed forward out of the elevator, giving her team room to spread out behind her. There was no cover nearby, and Shepard immediately took hits dropping her shields. The only thing she could do was press on in hopes that they took the enemy down before they dropped themselves.

The problem was, the enemy wasn't concerned with civilian casualties. In fact, they seemed to revel in each human death. But Shepard cared immensely, and would do everything she could to avoid that particular type of collateral damage. A couple of civilians dropped to the floor, cowering in terror with their hands clamped over their ears. Others continued to flee, only to be shot in their backs. Shepard took each civilian death as a personal affront, rage billowing up inside of her mirroring the fury Jane and the others felt.

"Lost shields." Grunt shoved past her, putting himself as a barricade between her and the bullets.

"On my word, Grunt, we charge in. Got it?" Shepard asked as she watched the meter on her shields rise.

"Don't have to tell me twice." Grunt kept up the fire, slowly marching toward the turians at the other end of the hall.

"Go!" Shepard yelled to the krogan as soon as her shields were up.

"I AM KROGAN!" Grunt took off, leaving Sheaprd's path clear.

Shepard activated her biotic Charge and flew down the hall, slamming into the nearest turian. The turian lifted off his feet as Shepard drove him into the two behind him, making them fall in a tangled heap. She didn't give them the chance to recover, raising her assault rifle she fired on the group at point blank range.

Biotics flared around Shepard, pulling and throwing the turians into the air out of range of the civilians. Shepard felt the wall of giant krogan press against her back. She and Grunt fought to keep their enemies' attention on them, moving from turian to turian keeping the fight close and confined while her team picked them off from a distance.

When her shields dropped again, Shepard lifted her rifle and backed away. "Fall back, Grunt. Shields are down."

Shepard made it halfway down the hall, and Grunt still fought. She opened her mouth to call out to him again when her eyes caught sight of a turian with a detonator. She couldn't see his face through his helmet, but she felt is malicious grin all the same as he held the detonator up where she could see and pressed the button.

Inches away, the door to Shepard's right exploded. The force picked Shepard up and threw her against the opposite wall, her head impacting with a sickening crunch even with the support her helmet offered. Pain ripped through her skull and neck as she dropped to the floor, shards of metal raining down on her.

"Sparatus," Shepard thought, darkness closing in around the edges of her vision. "Jane … please."

Shepard slipped away into unconsciousness.

"Shepard! Shepard!" Garrus' voice sliced through the darkness brighter than any torch.

Jane opened her eyes, groaning against the onslaught of pain made realer by being in control. She lifted a hand, groping around blindly as her vision cleared. A turian hand grasped hers and pulled her to her feet, sending fresh waves of agony through her head, neck, and ribs. A scream escaped her throat, and she swayed on her feet.

"Dawn?" Garrus' eyes searched hers through the shattered visor of her helmet as he fiddled with her suit.

Jane didn't respond, her eyes moving past him at the gaping hole in the wall. She turned her head, whimpering at the knife of pain in her neck. The battle still raged, her crew moving in to keep The Dissension away from her while she got back to her feet. Garrus hit her Medi-gel release, and blissful numbness washed over her injuries, leaving behind the confused incoherence filling her mind. She looked back at him when he put his hands on her shoulders. She bent to retrieve her assault rifle before nudging Garrus aside. She was supposed to be doing something, she just couldn't remember what. The hole in the wall called to her though, tugging at the memories until the pieces fell into place. Dawn asked her to save Sparatus. Dawn _asked_.

"Dawn?" Jane's words drew no response, not even a stir.

"You good?" Garrus asked.

Jane glanced at Garrus before turning her attention back to the hole, stepping over piles of debris. "Sparatus."

"Shepard, that explosion … he's probably dead." Garrus lifted his assault rifle and followed her into the apartment anyway.

"No, Garrus, they need you out there." Jane stopped just inside the doorway, putting a hand to his armored chest.

"Dawn?" The concerned trill, pitched where her ears could pick up, rumbled through him.

Jane expected Dawn to perk out the sound, but still there was nothing. She started to shake her head but thought better of it. "Dawn's out, Garrus. It knocked her out. She—."

Garrus' hand shout out, wrapping around Jane's upper arm and pulling her in close. The concerned trill turned to a threatening growl. "Let. Her. Go."

Jane jerked her arm free, anger welling up inside as she stared her best friend down. "I can't, Garrus! You're not fucking listening. She's. Out. Cold. She asked me to do this, to save Sparatus, so get out of my damn way, and let me do my job!"

She turned around, raising her assault rifle, expecting him to grab her again. She moved deeper into the apartment when he didn't, the sounds of his feet crunching through debris behind her. Lights flickered inside; torn from the ceiling and swinging by wires. The windows, completely shattered, opened to the Citadel skyline. Jane could hear water running somewhere to the right, the kitchen she assumed. Fires crackled all throughout the living room, small but growing, as they consumed furniture.

"Sparatus?" Jane yelled.

"Jane, this place is about to be filled with smoke and fire. Your helmet is shattered, you can't stay in here." Garrus urged, still taking steady steps at her six.

"Sparatus?" Jane muttered a curse when the lights gave up and went out completely, leaving them to see by the glow of the flickering flames.

She moved through the living room to the kitchen. Water poured from the broken fixtures. The refrigeration unit was tilted and resting against the counter, doors hanging open. She backed out of the kitchen, seeing no sign of the councilor and made her way toward the back of the apartment.

"Jane, the fires … ." Garrus persisted.

"So put them out, Garrus." Jane pressed down the hall. The light from the fires not quite enough to illuminate the area, she flipped on her flashlight. "Sparatus?"

"Shepard! In here! I heard something." Garrus pushed past Jane to a door at the end of the hall. Holstering his assault rifle, he shoved his hands into the gap in the door and started prying them apart.

Jane grinned and thought, "Dawn? Did you hear that? We're alone, and he called me Shepard."

 _"_ _Good for fucking you."_ John's bitter voice bit back at her. _"Except for there's a dying turian in the next room."_

"John? That you? How disappointing," Jane thought, moving down the hall to help Garrus pull the doors open.

She heard something, a faint groan coming from the pitch black room. "Sparatus? It's Commander Shepard and Garrus Vakarian. Where are you, sir?"

Another groan, faint and muffled had Garrus moving to the far corner of the room. "Councilor?"

Jane followed him, navigating around the bed. Something moved above in the shadows cast by her flashlight. Jane swung her flashlight up in time to see a thin cable snap, and the giant model of Palaven it held suspended drop another few inches. The final cable stopped its descent toward Garrus' head.

"Shepard, I need light," Garrus said.

Jane heard a creak and activated her biotic Charge, slamming into Garrus and knocking him out of the way just as the final cable gave out, and the metal globe crashed to the floor. Her ribs screamed at her in protest, and she hissed through clenched teeth. She untangled herself from Garrus and pulled herself to her feet. Garrus scrambled away from her, sending pangs of remorse through her chest. Jane swallowed against the not in her throat, watching Garrus climb to his feet again.

Sparatus lay pinned beneath a model of Menae, the model of Palaven two feet from his head. Jane gasped and started toward Sparatus only to be jerked back by Garrus. A moment later, a third sphere crashed to the floor, slamming into Palaven and making it roll over Sparatus' arm. Sparatus let out a cry of pain as the globe rocked back and forth, wedged between his arm and his side.

Jane turned the flashlight to Garrus' face, and he flinched away from the sudden light filtering through his helmet. She turned it back to the third sphere, the chromatic metal reflecting the light. "What's that one called?"

"Spirits … ." Garrus ignored her question and moved to Sparatus.

Jane shrugged and bent to help him lift the moon from the councilor's back and toss it to the side.

Sparatus cried in agony. "Shepard?"

"Yes, sir. Try to stay still; we'll get you out of here," Jane said.

"Anderson?" Sparatus asked.

"He's safe." Jane said moving to the model of Palaven.

She braced her arms against it and put her weight into it. The model moved an inch at most, eliciting a growl from the councilor. She couldn't get it to budge any further, and the sharp pains rising up in her ribs reminded her that she shouldn't be trying to move heavy objects at all. Smoke started to fill the room as Garrus joined her, pushing against the globe. Together they rolled the model off of the councilor's arm. Sparatus roared as the pressure was released.

"Shepard?" Jacob's voice carried through the apartment.

"Back here!" Jane yelled toward the door, squatting to run her omni-tool over the councilor.

Garrus squatted, next to her, slipping his arm under Sparatus'. Jane threw her hand out, slapping his armored chest. "What are you doing?!"

"J—Shepard, we have to get him out of here!" Garrus started to lift again.

"We can't move him, his spine is damaged. We move him, and he's guaranteed to never walk again." Jane turned her arm, showing Garrus her omni-tool's readings.

"Damn it." Garrus growled, carefully lowering Sparatus' arm back to the floor.

Jacob stumbled into the room, coughing. "Shepard, we have to get you out of here before the whole place goes up in smoke."

"I'm not leaving the councilor, and he can't be moved. Get the others, get those fires put out. Garrus, contact C-Sec. They've got to be on their way with medical transport. Give them our location." Jane shone her flashlight on Sparatus who stared back at her, wide eyed and panting.

"Aye, aye, Commander." Jacob turned and ran back down the hall.

Garrus' only response to Jane's order was to open his omni-tool and place a call to C-Sec. Jane coughed, the air thick with smoke. Pain lanced through her ribs again, sending spots of light to dance in front of her eyes. Her knees buckled, but she caught herself before she hit the floor.

"Sit down. The air will be lighter near the floor." Garrus' arm slid under hers, keeping her steady.

Jane nodded and let him help her to the floor. He crouched in front of her, fiddling with her suit again. Medi-gel flooded her system again. It alarmed her when she felt the numbness hit her lungs, and her hands scrambled, latching on to Garrus' forearms. He brushed them aside and moved to sit a few feet away from her.

She could hear her team in the front, putting out fires and clearing a path to her location. A moment later, James came in, letting out a low whistle when he caught sight of Sparatus on the floor.

James crouched in front of her. "C-Sec and medics are coming up the stairs now, Ídolo. They're going to want the room cleared so they can get to the councilor. Can you stand?"

"Might need a little help." Jane admitted.

James started to slide his arm under hers, but stopped when Garrus chuffed. "I got her."

James backed away, hands held out. "Alright."

Garrus helped Jane to her feet while James left the room. She was sure that James would have been gentler about it, but Garrus' rough treatment didn't cause any further injury as far as she could tell. She supposed she deserved the extra pain for shooting him. He let go of her as soon as she was steady on her feet once more, leaving her to make her own way out of the apartment.

Jane met the medics at what was once the front door, passing them her omni-tool scans. They barely paused long enough to give them a glance before rushing past her and down the hall, carrying a stretcher between them. Outside of the apartment, her team waited for her. Those responsible for escorting Anderson to safety were present as well, helping tend to their wounded crewmates. C-Sec moved dead turian and civilian bodies. Jane's eyes caught on Miranda, and for a fleeting moment panic swelled inside of her. Jane clamped it down, refusing to be scared of the other woman. She could hate her, would hate her, for as long as she existed, but she _would not_ be afraid of her.

"Siha." Thane's voice drew her attention.

She turned to see Thane approaching, his hand held out to her. Garrus chuffed from behind her, and she glanced at him in time to see him shake his head. Her eyes slid back to Thane, watching in indifference as he dropped his hand and twitched his brow in understanding. Thane stopped a couple of feet from her and tucked his hands behind his back. His gaze shifted between Jane and Garrus. Jane smiled, winking at Thane before turning her attention back to the gaping hole in the wall to watch the medics carry Sparatus out on a stretcher. The councilor's eyes found hers, and she saluted as they carried him past.

Garrus left her under Thane's watchful eye to speak to one of the C-Sec officers. She watched curiously as the officer nodded his head.

Garrus returned to her side. "They're sending an escort to make sure the council arrives at the hospital safely." He leaned in close, putting his head next to hers to hiss in her ear. "You did your job, now let her go."

"Can't, she's still not awake. I go back inside and that just leaves you with an unconscious body to drag back to the Normandy." Jane whispered back.

"Then let's go back to the Normandy." Garrus said with a low growl.

Jane looked around at her team, exhausted and recovering from injuries. A part of her wanted to argue, just for the sake of arguing. Her team needed rest though, and that still mattered to her even if half of them didn't even know who she was. Not to mention the numbness of the Medi-gel was starting to wear off.

"Alright everyone, back to the Normandy." Jane brushed past Garrus and headed down the hall to the elevator.

She was unsurprised to see that Thane and Garrus both insisted that they ride in the same taxi as her on the way back to the Normandy. It was a surprise, however, when Garrus growled at her and insisted she get in the passenger seat. Jane glared at him, biting her tongue and reminding herself that she was trying to be on her best behavior. Thane climbed into the back, undoubtedly ready to choke her out if she started acting up.

As soon as the doors were closed, separating them from the rest of the crew on the platform waiting for their own taxis, Garrus started in on her. "What's wrong with Dawn? She should've woken up by now, right?"

Jane crossed her arms and settled into the seat, resting her aching head against the back. "How should I know? I'm not a doctor."

"What happened?" Thane asked.

"One of The Dissension blew explosives rigged to the councilor's door with Shepard standing right next to it. She hit the wall hard." Garrus flared his mandibles, glancing at Jane. "Jane took over when it knocked her out."

"I can talk for myself, you know?" Jane glared at Garrus.

"Doesn't matter, anything that comes out of your mouth is probably a lie." He turned back to stare out the skycars windshield.

"Why would I lie to you?" Jane lifted her lip in a snarl.

"I don't know, Jane. Why would you shoot me?" Garrus snapped his mandibles tight against his jaw.

"That's not—I said I was sorry, Garrus. I panicked, and I made a mistake. I'm sorry. You on the other hand are hell bent on killing me." Jane turned her head to look out the window, ignoring the ache in her still healing neck muscles and the sting in her eyes. "My Garrus wouldn't have been so cold."

"Yeah, well maybe _your_ Garrus didn't really give a fuck about you, but _I_ love Dawn and I'm not going to just sit back and watch you destroy her and act like everything's OK." Garrus growled, the sound exaggerated in the confines of the skycar.

Jane sucked in a ragged breath, and the tears she fought against started to flow down her face. She stayed silent, staring out the window. Her chest ached with the silent sobs, threatening to make her start coughing again.

Garrus scented the air and scoffed. "Are you crying? After all the shit you put me through—put Dawn through, you're actually crying? What because I hurt your feelings?" He shook his head. "Fuck you, Jane. Fuck you."

"Garrus." Thane's voice was low and steady, but carried an undertone of warning.

Garrus glanced at Thane, clapping his mandibles twice and chuffing before staring back at traffic. They continued to ride in silence, the only sound Jane's occasional shuddering breath. She didn't dare speak until she could control her voice.

"The explosion threw her against the wall, and she hit her head. Probably a concussion. Torn neck muscles, and broken ribs. She was losing consciousness, and she asked me to save the councilor. She _asked_! So I did. I don't know why she's still out." Jane spoke to neither of them in particular.

Garrus chuffed again but didn't comment.

After a moment of silence, Thane said, "Thank you, Jane. I am sure she will be pleased to know the councilor survived."

Garrus scoffed.

Jane blinked her eyes, surprised by the genuineness she heard in Thane's voice. "Yeah."

They approached the docks, and Garrus settled the taxi down onto the landing platform. He opened the door and headed for the Normandy entrance, not bothering to wait for Thane or Jane to exit the vehicle. Jane watched him walk away through the windshield, sadness creeping in around the edges of her consciousness that didn't belong to her alone. She opened the door and waited for Thane to step out before closing it again. When she turned around he was scrutinizing her, his hands tucked behind his back.

Jane bristled. "What?"

"My apologies." He gestured toward the Normandy. "Shall we?"

Jane started walking. "Where's Anderson?"

"He's safe, as she requested," Thane said.

"What, I can't know?" Jane scoffed. "It's not like I won't know the second you tell her anyway."

"Perhaps it is best if we discuss this after you have been tended to by the doctor. You are injured, Jane, and she could be in danger," Thane said.

"Whatever." She finished the walk in silence, entering the Normandy and heading straight for the med bay.

Garrus apparently thought the same thing. He waited in the med bay, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and an angry scowl on his face. Dr. Chakwas stood nearby, her eyes locking on to Jane the second the door opened.

"Hello, Jane. How are you feeling?" Relief washed over Jane at the familiar sympathetic tone Dr. Chakwas used.

"Don't … don't use that voice with her. She doesn't deserve that voice." Garrus flared his mandibles, his eye ridges raised.

Dr. Chakwas cocked an eyebrow and turned to Garrus with a chastising glare. "You may leave now, Vakarian."

"I can't leave her in here with you. She—." Garrus pushed away from the wall, ready to argue his case.

"Out, Vakarian. That wasn't a request." Dr. Chakwas crossed her arms over her chest, resting her weight on one hip.

Garrus took a deep breath and let it out slow. "Yes, ma'am."

Jane watched as Garrus left, walking past the med bay windows toward the main battery. The others were starting to arrive, Grundan Krul walked past the window as Dr. Chakwas was closing the blinds. The doctor turned her attention to Thane and studied him for a moment.

"You may stay as long as she is comfortable, and you can keep yourself composed." Dr. Chakwas looked to Jane with a raised eyebrow.

Jane shrugged, tears starting to form in her eyes again. Dr. Chakwas crossed the floor and rested her hands on Jane's shoulders. Jane met her eyes, and Dr. Chakwas frowned.

"It's alright, dear. Let's get you out of this armor and up on the bed. Garrus said you were near an explosion and took quite the beating." Dr. Chakwas' fingers worked the seal of Jane's helmet.

Jane clamped her hands down on Dr. Chakwas' wrists, catching the brief startled look in her eyes. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

Dr. Chakwas' brow creased. "Well, why not, dear?"

"Because everyone hates me. Garrus wants you to kill me. Because you all think I'm crazy and dangerous. What do you mean 'why not'?" Jane scoffed even as the tears still fell from her eyes.

It was Dr. Chakwas turn to scoff, her head tilting to the side. "I do _not_ hate you, and I most certainly am not going to _kill you_. Oh for the love of God, I'm going to thump that bullheaded turian right on his head."

Jane snorted, unable to help the smile that spread over her lips. "My money's on you, doc."

Dr. Chakwas laughed, and Jane thought she heard a soft chuckle come from Thane.

"Commander, I—." Dr. Chakwas came up short when Jane gasped. "What? What's wrong?"

"You called me Commander." A swirl of confusing emotions tore her mind in different directions.

"Well of course I did. You _are_ Commander Shepard, even if you aren't quite the one I'm used to dealing with." Dr. Chakwas' flashed a bemused smile.

"Don't toy with me, doc." Jane let go of Dr. Chakwas hands, letting the woman remove her helmet.

Dr. Chakwas frowned, lifting the damaged helmet from Jane's head. "I'm not toying with you, Commander. I won't pretend that your past behaviors haven't concerned me, and I won't say that Dawn's wellbeing isn't my top priority. That doesn't mean that I'm not concerned for you—for all of you, too. You are not the enemy, Jane. You are unwell. And who wouldn't be after what you've been through?"

Jane chewed her lip in silence while Dr. Chakwas removed the rest of her armor. She wanted desperately to believe the sympathy she heard in the doctor's voice, wanted to believe that she truly cared about Jane, but she couldn't quite let herself latch on to that hope. There was too much at stake to trust someone who could do her so much harm if she decided Jane wasn't worth the effort. She let the doctor guide her to the bed and sat still while being scanned, poked, and prodded. Thane watched from across the room.

"Commander, I need to call in Ms. Lawson and Dr. Solus. Ms. Lawson will want to check your implants, and Dr. Solus might be able to confirm my theory about why Dawn is still unconscious." Dr. Chakwas stopped in front of Jane, going over her omni-tool readings.

Jane felt her eyes grow wide in panic at the thought of Miranda touching her. Thane crossed the room to stand next to the bed, putting her within arm's reach. It only increased Jane's panic, and she slid off the bed. Dr. Chakwas looked up startled.

"I don't want Miranda touching me!" Jane's throat spasmed, making her voice screech.

"Commander, Ms. Lawson is the only one qualified—." Dr. Chakwas took a step back when Jane lunged, seizing the doctor's uniform in tight fists.

Thane moved into place faster than Jane expected, sliding his arm around her neck. Jane let go and held her hands up in surrender.

"Let her go, Mr. Krios." Dr. Chakwas smoothed her uniform, and Thane let go of Jane.

"I—I'm sorry, I just … you don't know what she did to me, Dr. Chakwas. You don't understand what she did." Jane's hands fluttered to her face, feeling for the now faded scars as if the cuts were still fresh. "She cut me open all over … and … and she scraped out my insides, scraped off my skin! She put things inside of me!" Jane's voice was rising to the point of hysteria as everything she felt was amplified by the others. "She put control chips in me! She never did that before. Oh gods, please, please don't let her cut me open. Gods please."

Dr. Chakwas stepped in and flung her arms around Jane unexpectedly. Jane tensed, panic overriding her senses and scrambled to get away. Dr. Chakwas only held tighter. After a moment, Jane realized the doctor was hugging her and not trying to hold her down. Jane broke into sobs, burying her face in Dr. Chakwas neck and clinging desperately to her waist.

"Please, please, please. Gods, please." Jane begged, knotting the fabric of Dr. Chakwas uniform in her fists again.

"Shhh. It's alright, Commander. It's alright. I assure you Ms. Lawson means you no harm. I highly doubt you require any type of surgery, but I promise you that should that occur; I will be here the entire time. Alright?" Dr. Chakwas stroked her hair and cooed softly in her ear.

A few sobs and sniffles later, Jane unclenched her hands and nodded her head. "Alright."

Dr. Chakwas pulled back, wiping tears from Jane's face. Jane sniffled and nodded again. She wanted desperately to trust Dr. Chakwas. No one else had touched her with compassion since all of this began. Maybe she could trust the doctor. Maybe Dr. Chakwas truly did care about her and would find a way to help her stop the cycle.

"EDI, please inform Ms. Lawson and Dr. Solus that I require their immediate assistance in the med bay," Dr. Chakwas said.

EDI's blue hologram sprung to life next to the door. "Very well, Dr. Chakwas." A moment later she said, "Ms. Lawson and Dr. Solus are on their way."

"Thank you, EDI," Dr. Chakwas said.

"You are welcome." EDI's hologram collapsed in on itself, winking out of existence.

Jane paced nervously under Thane's watchful eye until the door to the med bay opened and Miranda strolled in, heels clacking on the metal floor. Jane tensed and backed away, returning to the bed to brace herself against its side. Thane edged a little closer.

"Hello, Commander. I just finished going through your medical records and I—What's wrong?" Miranda came to a halt in the middle of the room.

"Ms. Lawson, Jane is still feeling a little apprehensive around you after her experience with Project Lazarus. She has agreed, however, to allow you to examine her implants in my presence." Dr. Chakwas moved to Jane, running a soothing hand down her shoulder.

The faintest flicker of shock and pain crossed Miranda's face before the steel door of indifference slammed into place. "I see." Miranda opened her omni-tool. "Well, then, shall we?"

Jane looked to Dr. Chakwas who smiled and gave her an encouraging nod. She cast a furtive glance at Miranda before swallowing. "Yeah."

Still, she tensed when Miranda stepped forward. Jane's nails dug into the mattress behind her as Miranda waved her omni-tool over Jane's head and down her body. Neither of them attempted eye contact. The door opened again, and Mordin walked in.

"Ah, Shepard. Yes, heard injuries were sustained. Seemed fine standing in hall." Mordin paused midstride, barely missing a step before his feet propelled him forward. "No. Wait. Not Shepard. Well, yes, yes, Shepard. Not Dawn. Excellent! Hello, Jane!"

Miranda glanced over her shoulder at Mordin. "How could you tell?"

"Body language different. Posture. Facial expressions. Extreme fear of you." Mordin smiled smugly as he finished crossing the room to stand next to Miranda.

Jane clenched her jaw. "I'm not _afraid_ of _her_."

"Ah. Denial of fear. Dawn has same coping mechanism. Interesting." Mordin snorted softly. "Not unconscious. Drell present. In med bay. Research? No, wouldn't require implant scans." He looked at Dr. Chakwas. "Pupils dilated. Concerned expression. What's wrong with Dawn?"

Jane was able to remain relatively calm despite her racing thoughts until Miranda asked her to turn around. Jane was especially uneasy about the idea of having Miranda at her back where she couldn't see the scalpel coming before it sliced through her skin. Her breathing hitched as she slowly turned around. Within moments Jane was hyperventilating as the mantra began racing through her head. Dr. Chakwas voice saying the words 'comatose state' floated to her from miles away.

"The scraping and the cutting, the drilling and the screwing," Jane thought. "She cut me open. Cut, cut, cut. The metal and the tubes. She put them inside of me. Oh gods, I felt it all. I died and she cut me open, scraped away my skin."

 _"_ _I can't believe I'm saying this, but Jane, you need to calm down. You're safe. We're all safe,"_ John said.

Jane shook her head, slowly at first, but picking up speed, ignoring the protesting muscles in her neck. She was beginning to feel lightheaded but couldn't still her breathing.

"My ribs spread open, my heart in her hands. Elbow deep in my intestines. Oh gods, what did she put inside of me?" Jane thought.

"Jane, look at me." Thane appeared in front of her on the opposite side of the bed.

Jane met his eyes. "No, no please." Her thin voice quiet and frail.

"Jane, you remember her breathing exercises, yes? Use them now." Thane instructed, beginning the exercise himself.

Jane tried to breathe deeply, but it took her a few tries to slow the rhythmic spasms of her diaphragm enough to pull in one slow, deep breath. Thane smiled and nodded, not breaking from his own breathing but shifting it to match hers. Soon, Jane felt her racing heart begin to slow, and the fear retreat to a manageable level.

"Her implants seem fine. Whatever is happening, they aren't the cause. Unless you need anything else, I have work to do," Miranda said.

Jane kept her eyes locked on Thane's, following his lead as he carried her through different breathing exercises. She glanced to the side when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"She's gone, Commander. You did well." She dipped her head to Thane. "Thank you, Mr. Krios."

Thane dipped his head in return, moving back to his previous place next to Jane as she turned around. Mordin loomed in front of her, all but bouncing with his excitement.

"Any contact with the others?" He opened his omni-tool and began his own scans when Jane nodded.

"Just John. And I can feel them the way she feels us. Their emotions." Jane watched the eager salarian as he worked still unsure whether she should trust him after his paralyzing stunt in the tech labs and the reaper tech he put in her head.

"John? Why John? Why not the others?" Mordin stopped to look at his omni-tool's readout.

Jane smirked. "That's right, she hasn't told you. John's been talking to our lovely Dawn. Whispering in her ear when I'm not paying attention. He even figured out how to step into my shoes when I'm down. It's temporary, of course. He can't _be_ me. No matter how hard he tries."

Mordin's eyes left his omni-tool right after the words 'hasn't told you', and they stayed fixated on Jane soaking up every word she had to say. Dr. Chakwas sucked her teeth and took notes on a datapad.

Thane remained expressionless. "She spoke briefly this evening about factions forming among the others. One, a man named John, has been planning what she referred to as mutiny. She did not specify, but considering Jane's words now, I believe she meant against Jane. We did not … there was not much time for discussion."

Jane snickered, raising her eyebrow at Thane. "That's because it's difficult to talk while you're sticking your tongues down each other's throats." She crossed her arms and cocked her hip. "But yeah, that about sums it up. John thinks he can gain enough followers, enough strength to displace me permanently."

Thane took her revelation without the faintest flicker of response. She was a little disappointed. She expected at least some rapid blinking or maybe a clenched jaw, but he gave her nothing.

"Displace you from where, exactly?" Dr. Chakwas looked up from her datapad, ignoring Jane's attempt to bait the drell.

Jane chewed on her lip, contemplating how best to describe her place in Dawn's mind. "It's like … Huh, I guess it's like I'm the first in line. Not that there's an actual line, but uh … it's like I'm the dam that holds them all back. The mediator between Dawn and the others."

 _"_ _Liara's Veil,"_ John said.

Jane nodded. "Liara's Veil."

Confused by the statement, Mordin cocked his head and blinked his eyes. Jane smirked; at least Mordin didn't fail to amuse.

"Dr. Liara T'Soni was the first to discover the commander's, ah, circumstances through a melding." Dr. Chakwas waved a hand in small circles as she talked to Mordin. "Dr. T'Soni described what she experienced as passing through a veil before reaching Dawn's consciousness. Before we understood the full nature of what the commander was experiencing, we came to refer to the other commanders as 'The Veil'."

"Fascinating. Where is Dawn?" Mordin blinked again, resuming his scanning.

The look on his face told Jane that he thought he already knew, but she felt oddly grateful to him for giving her the chance to tell her own story. "Beyond The Veil." Jane smiled. "Shoved back in the queue somewhere with the crazies."

 _"_ _She's safe. She won't wake up, but she's safe,"_ John said.

"John says she safe, but still out. He's probably got his sheep surrounding her, keeping the wolves at bay." Jane shrugged. "I can't hear the others when I'm in Dawn's spot. I don't know what's going on in there. It's magnificently quiet. Usually I hear her, but I guess this time I get John, and he's not much of a talker."

 _"_ _I just don't want to talk to you,"_ John said.

"Yeah, yeah. Fuck you, too, John," Jane said aloud.

Dr. Chakwas snorted, a small titter of amusement escaping her lips. Jane turned her head to look at the doctor with a grin and winked. A yawn caught her by surprise, the ache of sore muscles and bones easing enough, thanks to the wonders of Medi-gel and Cerberus, for simple exhaustion to set in.

"So what now?" Another yawn escaped her lips. "I heard the word 'comatose' being thrown around. Is that what's going on?"

"Unfortunately, Commander, we've never had the luxury of dealing with your particular situation before so at best, we can make educated guesses." Dr. Chakwas sat the datapad down on the bed behind Jane. "Because you are awake and keeping Dawn's brain active, the results of our scans do not indicate a coma, however, that doesn't necessarily mean that isn't what Dawn is experiencing—of sorts."

Jane fought the urge to smile with delight, instead pulling her expressionless mask of command into place. "Is there anything you can do?"

"I'm afraid not. I want to keep you here under observation. If you are able to sleep, I will take further scans at that time." Dr. Chakwas clasped her hands in front of her, prepared to deliver news that Jane didn't think she'd like. "With a little luck, Dawn will wake on her own after her body has been allowed the rest and time to recuperate that it requires."

 _"_ _She did tell you Dawn's wellbeing was her top priority."_ The smug satisfaction in John's voice set Jane's teeth on edge.

"Shut up and tend to Sleeping Beauty like a good little soldier." Although her thoughts snarled, she maintained her outward composure.

"And what if she doesn't? There's too much that needs done, doc. You can't keep me in here indefinitely waiting for Dawn to wake up. The collectors aren't going to wait, the reapers aren't going to wait, and neither will this new threat." Jane crossed her arms, leaning her hip against the bed. "You acknowledge me as Commander, are you prepared to let me do my job and follow my command in Dawn's absence?"

"Ah! Field research. Scans while—." Mordin's excitement got the better of him until a glare from Dr. Chakwas silenced him.

 _"_ _They'll never let that happen, and you know it,"_ John said.

"I am not prepared, nor is it within my authority to make such a call on my own, Commander." Dr. Chakwas straightened her spine, lifting her chin. "For now, I would like you to get some rest and we'll see how things go. If in the morning Dawn remains unconscious, I will meet with Ms. Lawson and we will consider how to proceed."

Jane clenched her jaw, three subtle contractions before she raised an eyebrow. "I take it that means I'm sleeping in here tonight? Can I take a shower first?"

"Of course." Dr. Chakwas relaxed a little, a soft smile gracing her features. "I'll need to stay with you, however. No offense, Commander, but the last time you were alone in a restroom you attempted surgery on yourself."

"Fine. It's not like it's my body you'll be looking at." Jane pushed away from the bed, moving to the door.

Thane fell into step behind them, and Jane stopped, turning to him she raised an eyebrow.

"Forgive me, but I don't believe she would wish for me to leave Dr. Chakwas alone with you." Thane waved toward the doctor. "I will wait outside unless I am needed."

Jane rolled her eyes and started walking. "Whatever."

The two of them followed her up to her cabin, Dr. Chakwas going into the bathroom with Jane while Thane stood guard outside the door. What did they really expect her to do? Hijack the ship and throw them all out of the airlock? Jane stripped off her clothes and started the shower, the steam filling the room in seconds. Dr. Chakwas settled her hip against the sink, watching Jane with a clinical detachment so very at odds with the warm compassion she showed her earlier.

Jane stepped under the near scalding spray of water, groaning with pleasure. Since the day Dawn died over Alchera, Jane had been able to feel the things she felt but it was so different, so much more real when she was riding Dawn's body. She felt alive; well and truly, alive. Tears of bliss welled up in her eyes, and she turned her back to the doctor on the other side of the glass stall. She let the water wash over her face, doing her best to imagine that it was _actually_ her face and not Dawn's. If she didn't run her fingers over it, she could hold onto the illusion for a moment.

 _"_ _It's not your body, Jane. Dawn's going to wake up and you're going to have to give it back,"_ John said.

Jane did her best to ignore him, but the moment had passed, and she couldn't recapture that feeling of euphoria. She opened the shampoo bottle and squeezed some into her hand before setting to work cleaning the body that wasn't her own. When she was rinsed, and Dr. Chakwas coughed impatiently outside, Jane turned off the water. She wrapped herself in a towel, and stepped out of the shower. Using a second towel she dried her hair, watching the doctor watch her. Jane winced when her fingers found the tender knot on her head. Dr. Chakwas frowned but remained quiet while Jane redressed in clean, comfortable clothes.

Thane escorted them back to the med bay, leaving Jane feeling like a prisoner under guard. She knew it wasn't far from the truth. Thane and Dr. Chakwas hovered in the med bay door, whispering together as Jane climbed up on the bed, draping the thin blanket over her lap. After a moment, Dr. Chakwas nodded, and Thane moved to the chair next to the bed. Jane pursed her lips as dread settled in around her shoulders, weighing her down.

"I don't know what will happen if I try to sleep like this. I haven't actually slept in … thousands of years. Dear gods." Jane's heartrate started to climb, blood pounding against her veins. "What if I can't sleep at all anymore? What if I just stay awake all night? Or try to sleep and slip out of her instead? What then? What if she doesn't wake up and I can't get back in?"

Dr. Chakwas settled into her chair next to her desk. "We will deal with whatever happens as it comes, Commander. You must try to sleep, regardless. If you do not, her body will eventually begin to shut down. Her implants won't be able to keep up with the damage. Even if you remain coherent, her body will eventually die from sleep deprivation." Dr. Chakwas crossed her legs and folded her hands over her knees. "I don't believe that would be a pleasant experience for any of you."

Jane cringed at the idea of feeling the not-her-body shut down, organs failing until eventually she died. She'd experienced being trapped inside Dawn's mind as she died once and her own body as she died twice. She really didn't want to experience it again. Jane laid back against the pillows as Dr. Chakwas dimmed the lights. She pulled the covers up around her, tucking them under her chin as she rolled to her side. Her eyes landed on Thane, his black orbs unerringly fixed on her. Jane rolled to her other side and closed her eyes. Exhaustion swept over her body, pulling her down into oblivion. For a moment, just a brief moment, Jane thought she might actually get the chance to remember what it's like to sleep and to dream.


	56. Chapter 33: Loco Lola

**Chapter 33: Loco Lola**

The long hours of the night passed in darkness but not silence. The body of Commander Dawn Shepard lay motionless in the med bay while the _Normandy's_ medical professionals did their best to ferret out what was wrong with her. Inside, a war waged.

Jane fought to reach Dawn in her slumber. If she could reach that other mind, she'd have control for good. She wouldn't hurt Dawn, of course. Jane didn't want Dawn to suffer, but if suffering was what was required for Jane to keep her freedom, then it was a regrettable necessity. If she could just find her, and get her away from John, then Jane could make sure that Dawn never woke up again. It was a mercy, really, to keep Dawn trapped in her dreams. She'd be kept from the constant whispers and agonized screams. The others would keep her safe for Jane, they promised her.

She just had to get to Dawn, and everything would be alright again. She couldn't though; John fought her, keeping Dawn hidden somehow. Anytime Jane tried to reach out further, to feel around for Dawn, John would try to snatch control. With Dawn unable to assert her will over her body, it was free reign. Anyone who got close enough to that open door could just step right through, and then Jane would never be free again. No, no she couldn't let that happen. Terrible things would happen if John got control. Jane was sure of it, as sure as she was of anything.

Jane didn't want this. She never wanted any of this. She tried to get Dawn to work with her instead, they could have moved mountains if Dawn would have just listened. But Dawn wouldn't listen. She thought she was special, that she had some right to live while Jane and the others remained trapped inside forced to watch her while she made a mess of everything. What right did she have?

"I don't think she's going to wake up. It's been twelve hours. Perhaps … perhaps it's best that we try to rouse Jane." Miranda's voice carried through the sounds of maddening screams and suffocating pressure as John's forces clashed with Jane's.

"You're kidding?!" Garrus' angry voice cut deep, another chink in Jane's armor.

"The only other option at this time is to allow the commander's body to entropy in the hopes that she revives on her own. I'm sorry, Garrus, but I believe it's the best thing that we can do for her right now," Dr. Chakwas said.

 ** _"_** ** _Entropy."_** A maddened voice rang out above the din, laughing. **_"Entropy is for the dead. We're all dead. Dawn's dying. She's going to entropy! She's going to decay and die. They'll put her in a silver coffin and shoot her body out into space. She'll rot among the stars!"_**

"If we can talk to Jane, she might be able to provide us with further insight. At the very least, she can help keep Shepard's body functioning properly, making it significantly easier for Shepard to recover," Miranda said.

"Easier to collect data, too. Need to speak to Jane. Run tests. Compare to previous results. Much to learn from her. Also, significant information to be gained on collectors. Reapers. Valuable asset. Should not waste—." Mordin's agreement was interrupted by the sound of Garrus' frustrated growl.

 ** _"_** ** _Yes, keep her body functioning, but leave her mind behind. It's the only way, Jane."_** The voice seemed to slip right into Jane's ear, coming from nowhere and everywhere all at once.

"He'll be fine So, we are in agreement, then?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

 ** _"_** ** _We'll find her. Go, go now and set things right! The way they are supposed to be."_** His voice felt like the caress of a lover across her nonexistent skin, promising her an end to her longing.

"Yes," Mordin said.

"Jane? Commander, can you hear me? I'd like for you to wake up now, if you can." Dr. Chakwas' request was all the encouragement Jane needed to flee from the chaos and step back through the door Dawn left open.

Jane opened her eyes, sighing in relief as the noise slipped away from her. Miranda took a step back while Dr. Chakwas hovered over Jane, running her omni-tool over Jane's head. Mordin pushed in on her other side, smiling down at her as he offered her his hand. Jane hesitated, still unsure of the salarian. He seemed to sense her wariness and dropped his hand back to the side.

"Sorry, Mordin. I guess I'm just not real big on people who like to put things in my head." Jane pushed herself up, eagerly looking around the med bay for Garrus, but he was already gone.

Miranda scoffed. "I believed it was necessary at the time. I already apologized to the commander, and will not explain myself again."

Mordin smiled. "Also removed something from your head."

Jane snorted and nodded, reminding herself that she needed to be on her best behavior. "Fair enough."

"How are you feeling, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas closed her omni-tool.

"Fine, I guess." Jane shrugged. "So what now, doc?"

Dr. Chakwas shared a look with Miranda, and Miranda nodded her head. "After discussing your current condition with both Dr. Chakwas and Dr. Solus, we have decided that it is best that I, as second in command, maintain command over the Normandy and her crew." Miranda held out a well-manicured hand, stopping Jane from protesting. "However, although Dr. Chakwas is hesitant, I believe that it is best that I confer with the entire squad before allowing you to participate in any missions."

"You want to tell them all about me?" Jane's eyebrows shot up. "Oh, Dawn isn't going to like that."

"I don't believe we have many options … Commander." Miranda stumbled over the word but managed to get through it without losing her composure. "You have shown yourself to be less than stable, and I will not put the rest of the crew at risk without them even knowing that you pose a potential threat." Miranda crossed her arms, dropping her weight on one hip. "Alternatively, we can keep you quarantined to the med bay and under constant surveillance. We will, of course, have to tell them _something_ to explain your confinement."

"Oh, I said _Dawn_ wouldn't like it. By all means, if it gets me out of this room and us back on track, tell them. Enough of you know now anyway." Jane shrugged. "Just don't expect Garrus to be onboard. Let me get changed and I'll call the meeting."

"Commander, it's best if you aren't present when we speak to them." Dr. Chakwas frowned, putting a hand on Jane's shoulder. "This will be shocking news, difficult to understand for many of them, and they need to feel free to speak their minds on the matter."

 _"_ _She means they don't need you going crazy and shooting at anyone who disagrees with you,"_ John said.

Jane deflated. They weren't going to give her the chance to speak for herself, to explain her actions. Her whole team was going to be convinced that she was dangerous and crazy, but it was the only choice she had. She had to stay on her best behavior. She had to, or they'd find a way to lock her inside even if it meant Dawn never woke up again. Jane chewed her lip but finally nodded her head in understanding.

"If you are comfortable, I would like to leave you in Dr. Solus' care while we meet with the others." Dr. Chakwas slid her hand down Jane's arm to give her hand a gentle squeeze. "I'll take you to your cabin to change, and have some breakfast brought in for you first."

Jane sighed in resignation and nodded her head. "Alright."

Dr. Chakwas took Jane to her cabin and waited just outside the bathroom door while Jane relieved herself and brushed her teeth. When Jane was changed and her hair brushed, they returned to the med bay. Dr. Chakwas and Miranda left Jane sitting on the edge of the bed with a meal tray on her lap, and Mordin watching over her.

Jane spent the next two hours answering Mordin's questions while he recorded the entire conversation. He wanted every detail that she could remember about The Intelligence in the catalyst, the design of the crucible, and what happened when the different paths were taken. He prodded her for details on what she experienced in between one life and the next, and what differences existed between the individual Shepards' lives prior to her inhabitation. He took scans, trying to determine a physical location in Dawn's body where they resided. He asked about what things looked like, what they sounded like, what they felt like, and even what they sounded like on the inside.

Jane never felt more relieved in all of her lives to hear the sound of a door opening. She turned to the door, a smile on her face. Garrus stood in the doorway, the perfect picture of fury as he clenched his hands into fists over and over again. Jane's smile faltered as Garrus charged in, stopping two inches from her face. Grundan Krul hovered off to the side, his normally stoic features painted with uncertainty.

"You do anything, and I mean _anything_ to hurt _anyone_ on this ship including Dawn, or anything to jeopardize this mission, and I _swear_ I will carry you to Anderson to be locked away myself." His mandibles were held so tightly against his face, Jane could swear she heard the soft scraping of metal plates sliding over one another as he spoke.

Jane squared her shoulders, anger welling up inside of her as she closed some of the distance between herself and Garrus, bringing her face within an inch of his. She hissed through clenched teeth. "Get out of my face, Vakarian, before I put you on your ass."

 _"_ _Leave him alone, Jane. He's got every right to hate you. Every right to want to protect the team from you,"_ John said.

Grundan Krul put a hand on Garrus' arm, urging him to back off. "Archangel, come on."

Garrus growled, low and menacing. "You'd better pray the doctors never tell me that Dawn can't be recovered because Spirits, the moment they do I'll rip your throat out."

The sound of a pistol whirring to life stopped Jane's next words on her tongue.

Mordin's practical voice cut through the tension. "Should leave now."

Garrus turned his head to look at Mordin's pistol wedged into a gap in his armor. Garrus flicked his mandibles a few times at the professor before returning his glare to Jane. "Pray." He turned, brushing past Grundan Krul and stormed out of the med bay.

Grundan Krul lingered, his gaze eventually returning to Jane. She crossed her arms over her chest. Mordin put his pistol away and opened his omni-tool, scanning Jane as if nothing unusual had just happened.

"Something you want to say?" Jane asked Grundan Krul.

Grundan Krul raked his thumb down the side of his jaw and shook his head. The door opened again and Dr. Chakwas walked in, glancing between Jane and Grundan Krul.

"Sorry to have kept you waiting. I appreciate your assistance." Dr. Chakwas nodded to Grundan Krul and he followed her to the back of the med bay. "Make sure everyone keeps one of these on them at all times."

Jane turned to watch as Dr. Chakwas started filling syringes from a vial of clear liquid. "Sedatives? You're passing out sedatives to everyone?"

 _"_ _Good doc, excellent idea. They all need to be prepared to take her down,"_ John said.

"Fuck off, John. I like it better when you refuse to talk." Jane thought.

"It was an agreed upon term of your release, Commander." Dr. Chakwas capped each syringe once it was filled and passed it to Grundan Krul. "Additionally, you will be under constant surveillance, but you will be free to move about the Normandy as you wish and take part in missions. For your continued safety, and the safety of Dawn, it was agreed that the Cerberus crew that are not a part of your squad will not be informed, and precautions will be taken to protect your identity from anyone else. You will submit to twice daily to assessment by Ms. Lawson, Dr. Solus, or myself. If you can agree to these terms, you are free to leave the med bay."

"Fantastic. Who's on guard duty first?" Jane forced a smile.

"Lieutenant Vega insisted on that honor. He's waiting for you outside." Dr. Chakwas crossed the room to rest her hands on Jane's shoulders. "I know that this isn't ideal, Commander. I'm sorry, but this is the best that we can do."

"Yeah." Jane patted Dr. Chakwas arm before pulling away. "I'll go report to James."

"One more thing," Dr. Chakwas said as Jane walked away. "The Council is waiting for you to report in. They were quite upset that you weren't there first thing this morning. I bought you some time, explaining to them that you sustained injuries in the blast while saving Sparatus."

"Then I guess I'd better report." Jane turned to EDI's interface node. "EDI, please ask Samara to meet me at the airlock in twenty minutes. Tevos might try a little harder to keep the peace with her there."

"At once, Shepard." EDI's hologram hovered in the air. "I am uncertain if it is appropriate to call you Shepard. Do you prefer Jane?"

Jane smiled and shook her head. "No, EDI. I prefer Shepard or Commander. Thanks for asking."

"Of course, Shepard." EDI's hologram collapsed and disappeared.

Jane left the med bay and stopped in her tracks two feet out. James stood just outside the door, but he wasn't the only one. Lia and Legion stood off to the other side. Jack lounged on a bench in the mess, her elbows propped on the table as she watched Jane. Zaeed leaned against the far wall. Grundan Krul came out behind her and started passing out the sedatives, giving one to James first. She could feel all of their eyes on her, gawking at her. Judging her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

When she opened them again they all remained, still staring. Jane clenched her teeth and turned to James. "I need to go to the armory. My gear was trashed in the explosion."

James nodded and waved a hand toward the elevator. Jane started walking, James falling in on her left. "You alright, Lieutenant?"

James hit the call button for the elevator and shrugged a massive shoulder. "I'm not going to say that this isn't loco, probably more than anything I've ever heard in my life. But I'm a marine, ma'am, I can handle it."

They stepped into the elevator and Jane hit the button for the CIC. "You prepared to use that syringe on me, Lieutenant?"

"Yes ma'am, if the need arises." James nodded his head, glancing at the syringe he still held in his palm.

Jane stepped closer to him, getting nearly as close as Garrus was to her in the med bay. She peered into his eyes, testing his mettle and feeling pride when he didn't flinch. "You scared of me, James?"

James gave her his best shit eating grin. "No more than usual, Ídolo."

"Glad to hear it, James." Jane patted his cheek and stepped back to lean against the wall. "You always called me Lola. Well, at least when I had tits."

James' laughter filled the elevator, easing the tension from Jane's shoulders. "Lola huh? That must be why you asked about that on Fehl Prime. Uhhhh … She asked about it. I know a Lola. I guess you kind of remind me of her."

Jane laughed. "Yeah, that's where the nickname came from. 'Hot. Tough'."

"Look at you, getting cocky, Lola." James grinned. "Damn, that will take some getting used to."

The elevator opened and the conversation died down. Jane led the way to the armory. Jacob looked up at her as soon as the door opened. He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced at James before settling his attention on Jane.

"Something I can do for you, ma'am?" Jacob dropped his hand to the table; the pistol inches from his fingers didn't go unnoticed.

"Relax, Jacob. I'm not here to hurt you. I just need new gear." Jane ignored the twisting in her guts. What did it really matter if he didn't trust her?

Jacob's tight smile did nothing to ease the tension in the room. "Of course. Yeah, I guess that blast really did a number on your armor. I'm not sure I'll be able to get it fixed, but I can requisition a new set of the same if you want."

"I'm sure Dawn would appreciate that." Jane crossed the room to stand on the opposite side of the table.

Jacob swallowed, and nodded. "Right. Well, just tell me what you want and I'll get it pulled out for you."

Jacob didn't relax at all the entire time Jane suited up and checked out her weapons, if anything, he became more nervous. Jane considered shooting him just on principle, but then James would feel like he had to jab that needle in her neck and things would get really ugly.

"So, uh, wait … there were times when you didn't have tits?" James whispered as he watched her.

Jane laughed making Jacob snap his head in her direction from his spot behind the table. "Yeah, there were a few times where you and I could share the same bathroom without the whole crew whispering." Jane winked at James, earning her a grin.

"Dios. I mean … how?" James lifted both shoulders.

"That's the part that stumps you, huh?" Jane grinned and shook her head. "I don't know how, James. I don't know how for any of it."

"Right, sorry. This has got to be hard for … all of you." James followed her as she made her way to the door. "So, what'd I call you then? Just Shepard?"

 _"_ _Loco,"_ John said.

Jane glanced back over her shoulder. "Loco."

Kelly ambushed Jane on her way out of the armory. "Good morning, Commander. You have unread messages at your console, and Councilor Anderson called the Normandy personally inquiring about your recovery."

"Thanks, Kelly. I'm on my way to speak with the Council now. I'll check my messages when I return." Jane smiled at the yeoman.

"Of course, Commander." Kelly retreated back to her station, clearly content in her oblivion.

The elevator opened behind Jane, and she glanced over her shoulder to see Samara. Samara stepped out and started toward the airlock, Jane falling into step next to her. Samara smiled serenely at Jane and nodded her head to James. Jane didn't just want Samara with her to manipulate Tevos, thought that was certainly fun to watch, she wanted Samara with her because she knew Samara could be trusted. If push came to shove, Samara would still sedate Jane because it is what Dawn would have wanted and what was expected of her as a member of the Normandy crew. Samara wouldn't jump the gun on it though, not after their little talk in Dawn's head.

Together, they left the Normandy and made their way through the Citadel to the Presidium and up to Anderson's office. Rebecca waved Shepard through telling her that the Council was waiting for her. The guards stationed outside of Anderson's door were the same as the day before, they didn't bat an eye at Jane and her entourage this time, letting them by without a word.

Jane grinned when she saw Anderson standing across the room in front of the three holographic projections of the rest of the council. Anderson turned to the sound of her entering and nodded his head, a stern look creasing his worn features.

He held his arm out toward her. "Here she is now."

The images of the councilors turned to look. Tevos stood up a little straighter, her smile widening to comical lengths. Jane crossed to the back and snapped a salute to Anderson before turning to do the same to the rest of the Council. James and Samara lingered a few feet behind her. Anderson dismissed the guards that were stationed inside his office, stating the need for privacy for the Council meeting.

"Councilors, I apologize for the delay. I came as soon as I was cleared to leave medical." Jane tucked her hands behind her back.

"Of course, there is no need to apologize. We are pleased to see that you did not sustain serious injuries, Commander Shepard, and you are to be commended for your swift actions that saved both Councilor Anderson and Councilor Sparatus' lives." Tevos folded her hands in front of her. "However, Commander, that is not what we wished to speak with you about this morning."

"We need to discuss your decision to publicly speak about The Dissension, Commander." The salarian councilor frowned as he settled his gaze on her.

"With all due respect, Councilor, I said nothing in that interview that wasn't clearly stated to be a matter of personal opinion or wasn't already made publicly available." Jane managed to fight back the smug smile that wanted to break through, reminding herself that she was supposed to be on her best behavior.

Valern sniffed. "That very well may be, Commander, but as a Council Spectre, you are expected to remember that you represent the Council. When you speak, even when declaring it your own opinion, it will be viewed by the masses as the opinion of the Council."

"The Council has decided that it would be prudent to issue a statement about your interview." Anderson turned to face Jane with a carefully crafted expression of neutrality.

Jane raised an eyebrow. "The Council plans to disavow my interview?" She jerked her gaze back to Valern. "How will _that_ look to the masses?"

"We will issue a simple statement reminding the public of the Council's stance on the matter as it stands, and make it clear that we neither agree nor disagree with your summation of events." Tevos held a placating hand out as she spoke.

Jane turned her attention to Quentius. The turian acting councilor fluttered his mandibles in response. Jane's head cocked to the side as she read his expression, coming to the conclusion that he wasn't a fan of the idea.

"What exactly has been the public response, if I may ask?" Jane crossed her arms over her chest.

"It's difficult to say just yet, Commander, but it _appears_ that your interview has left quite the impression, at least here on the Citadel." Quentius gave a slight nod of his head. "C-Sec reports that there hasn't been a significant decrease in the rates of human-turian crime, _but_ there have been more reports of civilians of both species stepping in to restore the peace."

"If the results have been positive, I fail to understand why the Council would wish to try and sweep the interview under the rug." Jane glanced between Valern and Tevos, her jaw flexing a staccato rhythm making her face ache.

"It's simply too soon to know how this interview will truly affect things, Commander Shepard." Tevos gave Jane a sympathetic smile. "It's not that we wish to sweep your interview under the rug, or even that we disagree with what you've said. It is merely that we as the Council must maintain our position on the matter until we know more about The Dissension and precisely what threat they pose." Tevos looked past Jane to where Samara stood. "I'm sure you understand."

 _"_ _Just like the reapers, isn't that right, Councilor? That's how the Council handles everything. Deny, refute, and then plead for help when all else fails."_ John's disgust resonated with Jane's.

Anderson cleared his throat, drawing Jane's attention back to him. "Considering the timing of the attack last night, there might be reason to believe that The Dissension were spurred into action by your interview."

"Sir, are you saying that I'm to blame for last night's events?" Jane asked, her eyes wide in shock.

 _"_ _That'll tear Dawn up to hear. I pray they're wrong, or at least The Dissension never make it clear that's why they chose to attack Sparatus,"_ John said.

"Of course not, Commander, you couldn't have anticipated such a reaction," Tevos spoke urgently. "We are merely saying that The Dissension may have decided to make the attempt on Councilor Sparatus' life as a response to your interview.

"Yeah … yeah we could have if Dawn had taken the time to think this thing through. The fact that Sparatus is still alive because I saved him is the only reason you're not stringing my ass up in the middle of the Presidium for the locals to throw stones," Jane thought, the sentiment begrudgingly echoed back to her from John.

"That sounds like blame to me." Jane jerked her head to the side, a sneer fighting to form on her face.

"Shepard." Anderson's tone was low and filled with warning.

"Be that as it may, Commander, it is the decision of this Council that we will issue a public statement declaring our position." Tevos frowned. "Considering this is not the first time you have released a statement without communicating with us prior, we now insist that you cease from any further statements unless you have been cleared to do so by the Council. Thank you for your time, Commander."

"Censorship at its finest. I guess those privileges are only awarded to civilians." Jane laughed, turning to Anderson. "Feels almost like being back in the Alliance, doesn't it, sir?"

Anderson stifled a laugh, the corners of his lips twitching. The meeting was brought to a close, the holograms of Tevos and Valern winking out of existence. Jane raised an eyebrow when the image of Quentius remained.

"Is there something I can do for you, Acting Councilor Quentius?" Anderson asked.

"I was hoping to have a moment of the commander's time, unofficially." Quentius tucked his hands behind his back, flaring his mandibles in question.

"Of course, sir." Jane stepped closer to the holographic display. "What can I do for you?"

"I've been asked by the Primarch to pass on his gratitude for your display. The Hierarchy believes, despite what actions the Council takes, that your open support of the Hierarchy and attempts to appease the growing tension between our species will not be in vain." Quentius smiled. "Primarch Fedorian understands that you are currently engaged in solving this conflict with the collectors, but has asked that I extend to you an open invitation to meet with him in person. He would like to discuss among other things, your reports of Sovereign and the reaper threat."

 _"_ _Jane … Jane you can't do that. At least not without conferring with Garrus and making a solid plan. You know that, right? This is a delicate situation, one that's new to all of us and Garrus is already upset with you. If you got talking to the Primarch … gods only know what you could mess up, even with the best of intentions."_ John coated his words with a soothing calm that he clearly didn't feel, bringing a smile to Jane's face.

"Care to use that as a bargaining chip, John?" Jane thought.

"That's fantastic, sir. I would be honored to meet with the Primarch. I will be in touch to set something up as soon as possible." Jane squared her shoulders, nodding her agreement.

 _"_ _Don't be a fool, Jane,"_ John said.

"I'm sure the Primarch will be pleased to hear that, Commander. I also thought you might like to know that the doctors treating Councilor Sparatus believe that he will make a full recovery." Quentius paused and glanced over his shoulder. A moment later another turian came into view briefly, passing the acting councilor a datapad.

 _"_ _That gives the Council even less to be angry about, but that doesn't mean Sparatus isn't going to rake you over the coals for this,"_ John said.

Quentius nodded his head but didn't look at the datapad, instead turning his attention back to Jane. "I have been told that your relationship with the Councilor has been tumultuous at best, but he has asked about you and I think he would like to speak with you. I've already cleared it with the rest of the Council and his security should you decide to visit his hospital room. I can send his location to your omni-tool."

"Thank you, sir, I'll do that." Jane opened her omni-tool to glance at the information as it came through.

"I saved his life, John. I'm sure that means _something_ to the councilor," Jane thought with a smirk.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Commander Shepard." Quentius fluttered his mandibles and dipped his head.

"The pleasure was mine, sir." Jane saluted the councilor, earning her a wry smile before his image disappeared.

Anderson and the others had moved down to Anderson's desk while Jane talked to Quentius. Jane made her way to them; stopping next to Anderson she put a hand on his shoulder. He turned to her with that old familiar smile that somehow managed to both warm her heart and fill it with sorrow at the same time. Images of Anderson slouched against the dais, bleeding out on the Citadel filled Jane's mind. She shook them off and returned Anderson's smile.

"We need to talk, sir." Jane gave the councilor's shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"It's not as bad as you think, Shepard." Anderson gestured to the chairs on the opposite side of his desk.

"That's not what I meant, Anderson." Jane moved to take a seat. "But you might want to sit down for this."

"What is it, Shepard? What's wrong?" Anderson pulled out his chair and sat down.

Jane scratched her head before rubbing the back of her neck. "My entire squad now knows my little secret, Anderson. Well, I suppose it was never a 'little' secret."

 _"_ _Jane, what are you doing?! Dawn kept this from him for a reason. Gods, you really are insane, aren't you?"_ John pounded against the barrier that kept Jane firmly in control.

"Have a little faith, John," Jane thought.

"They do?" Anderson leaned back in his chair, his eyes flicking to James and Samara.

Jane leaned forward, resting an elbow on his desk. "Miranda felt it was necessary to inform the entire squad, but not the Cerberus crew, of my … condition and Dr. Chakwas agreed to let it happen."

Anderson's brow furrowed. "Why would Dr. Chakwas make that call?"

 _"_ _Don't do this, Jane. Dawn will never forgive you,"_ John said.

"For their safety." Jane shrugged and then held the back of one hand to her mouth so she could stage whisper. "Apparently, I'm not very stable."

"Commander, I'm afraid I don't understand what you're saying. What happened?" Anderson leaned forward, his eyes locking on hers.

"Dawn's in a coma, Anderson." Jane hopped to her feet and snapped a salute. "Commander Jane Shepard reporting for duty, sir."

 _"_ _Damn you!"_ John roared in anger before retreating to the recesses of Jane's mind.

Anderson stared up at Jane for a few seconds before slowly pushing his chair away from the desk and rising to his feet. "How did this happen, Jane?"

"After leaving your apartment last night, we were caught in a secondary explosion. We took a hard hit, and she was knocked out. Just before losing consciousness, she asked me to save the councilor, so I did. Problem is she isn't regaining consciousness." Jane moved away from the desk to pace the office. "Dawn didn't want you to know that I've been able to step in for her like this. Mostly because everyone thinks I'm crazy and she figured if you knew then you might feel obligated to lock us up."

Anderson grunted softly, his eyes tracking her movements. "So why are you volunteering this information now?"

"Because I've given it some thought, and I think that you'll realize that come hell or high water, the galaxy is better off with me left to do my job, sir." Jane came to a stop in front of Anderson. "And because although it probably hasn't occurred to him yet, Lieutenant Vega will soon realize that this might be the type of thing he ought to mention in his next report to the Alliance. I don't think any of us want that, sir."

James cursed softly in Spanish, the words not quite loud enough for Jane to make out. She glanced at him to see him rubbing the back of his neck and shaking his head. He looked up, meeting her gaze and frowned.

Jane smiled and made her way over to James, patting his shoulder. "It's alright, James. I'm the one who gave the doc the greenlight to tell the team. It was better than staying locked up in the med bay indefinitely."

"Dr. Chakwas believes you pose a risk to the safety of the crew but she's allowed you off the Normandy?" Anderson rubbed his jaw, looking like he'd just taken a punch.

"I may have said and done a few things that would give her cause for alarm, yes. But I swear my goals are in line with the best interest of the galaxy, sir. I want to take down the collectors and the reapers. I just want to do my job, Anderson." Jane moved back to the chair and sat down. "Dr. Chakwas realizes that, and with Dawn out of commission … ."

"That leaves you." Anderson said, sitting back down himself. "What exactly did you do to make her believe you might be a threat to the crew?"

Jane shrugged her shoulder. "I shot Garrus."

Anderson's eyebrows rose so high they nearly met his hairline. "You shot Garrus Vakarian?"

"I didn't actually _mean_ to, and I told him I was sorry. He hates me anyway. Wants the doc to find a way to kill me, actually." Jane dropped her gaze to the desk, waring with the conflicting emotions thinking of Garrus brought to mind.

"How did you accidentally shoot Vakarian?" Anderson asked.

"It just grazed him, really. He's being a big baby over it." Jane grinned, looking back up at Anderson.

"Answer the question, Commander. That's an order." Anderson's voice was gruff, leaving no room for argument.

Jane cringed under the words coming from Anderson. Just as she had the day he ordered her to cooperate with Dawn by allowing her full access to all memories, she felt an undeniable urge to do exactly as the man asked of her. She felt the weight of the compulsion echo back to her from every other Shepard locked away inside.

Her jaw clenched. "Yes sir. Mordin devised an implantable device to act as an IFF to confuse the collector's seeker swarms. I made my opposition to having the device implanted clear to Dawn, but she allowed us to be implanted anyway. I … didn't take it well, sir, when I could feel the device moving around at the back of our skull."

Jane pressed her head into the palms of her hands. "I panicked. I was able to force control over Dawn and locked myself in the head located in my cabin. I attempted to remove the device manually. EDI alerted Garrus that something was wrong, and when he arrived, EDI opened the door for him. I pulled my sidearm on Garrus and told him to stand down." Jane swallowed hard before continuing. "I _needed_ to get that thing out of me. I _had_ to, sir. Garrus thought he saw an opportunity and lunged. I pulled the trigger on reflex. I didn't mean to."

"In her defense, sir, I was implanted with one of those things when I joined the Normandy. It was, uh, creepy. Hell, I almost wanted to dig it out," James said.

"It was a rather unpleasant experience," Samara agreed.

Anderson ran a heavy hand over his face, tugging at his features. "I'm going to need to speak with Dr. Chakwas." He turned to James. "In the meantime, Lieutenant Vega, as a Council Spectre, Commander Shepard's personal affairs don't need to be reported to the Alliance. Are we clear?"

"Yes sir." James saluted Anderson, a relieved smile spreading over his face.

"You want me to have EDI patch you through to Dr. Chakwas?" Jane asked.

Anderson shook his head. "I'd rather speak with her privately. I'll call the Normandy after you leave."

"I won't hold you, then. I've got an injured councilor to check in on." Jane stood up and started to leave.

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Shepard?" Anderson's voice pulled her attention back to him.

"Don't worry, sir. I'll be on my best behavior. I handled talking to the Council, didn't I?" Jane held her palm up and shrugged a shoulder.

"I suppose you did. These two will be with you the whole time?" Anderson nodded his head at James and Samara.

"She's not leaving my sight, sir." James squared his shoulders and nodded his head.

"Alright, Shepard." Anderson nodded before a smile lifted the corners of his mouth. "Just don't forget he's injured, try to take it easy on him."

"That an order, sir?" Jane grinned when Anderson laughed and shook his head.

She started to leave again but hesitated. She didn't know when Dawn would wake up again, which meant if she didn't say what she most wanted to say to Anderson now, she might not get another chance.

Jane swallowed and turned back to Anderson again. "I know you don't have much reason to trust me, sir, but if it comes time to use the Hail Mary … damn it, don't go into that beam. Don't make me watch you die again, Anderson." Jane couldn't fight the sudden welling of tears or the hoarse sound of her voice. "Please, sir."

"Mmm." Anderson stood and crossed the floor to rest a hand on Jane's shoulder. "I hope that you're—that Dawn is able to keep us from ever reaching that point. It was clear she wanted it to be the last resort. But I think we all know that when the time comes, as long as I'm still breathing there isn't any other place I'd be than at her side doing what needs to be done."

Jane swallowed and nodded her head. "Yes sir."

Anderson patted her shoulder before brushing a tear from her cheek. "You're strong enough to handle this, Shepard. Don't forget that."

"Yes sir." Jane sniffled. "I should go."

She couldn't stand the sight of the look of pity Anderson gave her, but she forced herself to smile at him once more before she turned and walked out of the office. She'd find a way to save Anderson, even if it meant having to go through it all again. If Dawn could change as much as she did, letting so many people die—Kaidan, Ashley, Liara—then she damn well could change things enough to save just one. If Grundan Krul and others from Archangel's team could live, then so could Anderson.

Jane sniffled again and shook her head. She could feel James and Samara's eyes on her wary and watching, waiting to see if she was going to hold it together or do something that might force them to sedate her. Jane squared her shoulders and walked back out onto the Presidium.

She used the Citadel rapid transit to get to Huerta Memorial Hospital. Jane noted with disinterest that they'd placed the councilor in the same room that Ashley and Kaidan always occupied after being nearly beaten to death. Guards stationed outside of his room—all asari commandos—parted to allow Jane entrance.

Scaffolding held Sparatus broken body in traction, half suspended above the bed. His head and neck held stable, he was unable to turn to her when the door opened. Instead, his mandibles flared and he scented the air.

"It's Commander Shepard, Councilor. May we come in?" Jane hesitated in the doorway.

"Shepard. Yes, come in, please." Sparatus' voice sounded strained, his vocal chords dry.

Jane walked over to the bed where he could see her and poured water from a pitcher on the bedside table into a glass. "Water, sir?"

Jane watched, fighting back amusement as Sparatus' features shifted from indignation to resignation.

"That's not your job, Shepard." Sparatus hesitated, his mandibles flared. "But since there doesn't seem to be a nurse around when I need them, yes, if you don't mind."

Jane held the curved lip of the cup to Sparatus' mouth and tipped it just enough for some of the water to trickle through the plates. She waited, giving him the chance to swallow before offering more. When he was sated, she put the glass back on the table.

Unsure of what to say to her least favorite councilor, Jane tucked her hands behind her back and waited. James shifted restlessly behind her while Samara stood as still as a statue, her gaze fixed on a small painting hanging above the bed.

"You saved my life last night, Shepard." Sparatus fluttered his mandibles, seeming disgusted by the taste of the words in his mouth.

"It's my job, sir." Jane gave a brisk nod of her head. "I was in Anderson's apartment when the first explosion happened. He informed me of your whereabouts, so I sent some of my team with his guards to escort him to safety and took the rest to provide you aid."

Sparatus' mandibles flared, his brow plates dipping low. "The Dissension?"

"Yes sir, and considering they had explosives rigged to your door, I believe you were their target, sir," Jane said.

"And why do you suppose that is, Shepard?" The sharp flick of his mandibles complimented the biting tone of his voice.

"Sir, if you wish to blame me for your attack you're too late. The Council already did that. Indirectly, of course." Jane grimaced. "They'll be releasing an official statement declaring that my opinions in the interview do not necessarily reflect that of the Council."

Sparatus' brow plates quirked. "Of course."

They watched each other quietly for a moment, the silence only broken by the soft beeping of the various machines hooked up to the councilor.

"Why defend me, Shepard?" Sparatus flared his mandibles, his voice low and strained.

"Sir?" Jane cocked her head to the side, her eyebrows raised in question.

"It's no secret we're not very fond of one another, Commander. Surely your life would be easier without me on the Council. Why go out of your way to defend me in such a public forum?" He broke eye contact with Jane for the first time since she set down the glass of water.

"Because I believed you were telling the truth and because I thought it would help keep the peace." Jane bit the inside of her cheek, choking on the words she knew Dawn would say next. "I didn't anticipate that they would target you. I apologize if my actions encouraged their attack. It certainly wasn't my intent."

The door slid open and a salarian doctor walked in, moving to check the machine readouts. Jane turned to the door, motioning to the others that it was time to leave.

"I'm retiring, Shepard." Sparatus drew Jane's attention back to him. "It's time I return to Palaven."

Jane moved back where Sparatus could see her. "That's surprising news, Councilor. I never imagined you'd give up your seat on the Council so easily." Jane's brow furrowed in contemplation. "The doctors said you're going to make a full recovery, and you have to know the charges will be cleared. Why leave?"

"Let's just say that I'm finally taking your warnings to heart. I want to make sure my people are prepared for what's to come, and I don't think I can do that through the red tape of the Council." Sparatus' voice took on a sardonic tone. "We certainly haven't made it easy for you."

Jane smirked. "No, you certainly haven't. Have you told the Council yet?"

His mandibles fluttered and he smiled for the first time Jane could ever recall. "I wanted you to be the first to know."

Jane laughed and nodded her head. "Thank you, sir. For what it's worth, I believe Acting Councilor Quentius will make a fine replacement. Get well soon, Sparatus."

"Good luck out there, Shepard." Sparatus turned his attention back to the salarian now poking and prodding him.


	57. Chapter 34: Buying Time

**A/N:** Well, I did something a little different with this chapter. I hope it reads alright for you, and you don't mind. I had several pages written but it wasn't feeling right to me so I scrapped it and started over. This chapter skips through time, focusing on brief conversations between Jane and the various crew members. There was a certain feeling of vagueness that I was missing out on, a blurring of time as the days passed that Jane feels while stuck aboard the Normandy. I think that the changes I made help to capture it better.

 **Chapter 34: Buying Time**

"Anderson! I didn't expect to see you here, sir." Jane stopped just inside the med bay door.

Dr. Chakwas, Miranda, Garrus, and Anderson all turned to face Jane. The pinched, tight lipped expression on Dr. Chakwas face made the hairs on the back of Jane's neck raise. Garrus crossed his arms over his chest, his mandibles flush against his jaw. Miranda shifted her gaze to a datapad in her hand while Anderson locked eyes with Jane. "Shepard, you're back, good. I thought it was best if I have this conversation with Dr. Chakwas in person."

 _"_ _I told you. You should have kept your mouth shut."_ She expected smugness, but instead the only thing Jane felt from John was dread.

"I see. I'll come back later, sir." Jane turned back to the door. She could still get off the Normandy, find a place to lay low on the Citadel until she could get on a shuttle and … and … and what?

 _"_ _You can't run. If we lose the Normandy, and Anderson's support we'll never see the front lines of the war."_ John pushed at Jane's resolve. _"We'll end up just another casualty when the reapers come. Die in some backwoods shack on some random colony or end up in prison instead of just a padded room. At least this way, there's a chance we can pull it together enough to still save the galaxy."_ He found the crack, the sliver of doubt and pushed at it. _"We can still work together on this, Jane. It's not too late. The damage you've done can still be fixed. We can work together, get Dawn back in the game, and find a way to beat this thing."_

"No, Shepard. We're done here, and I've made my decision." Anderson moved to stand in front of Shepard, Garrus at his side.

Jane's heart began to race; she could feel the walls closing in on her. She turned back around to fully face Anderson, cringing when she saw the look on his face. She'd seen that look before, and nothing good ever came of it. She'd made a mistake; a miscalculation in outing herself to Anderson and it was about to cost her everything. She was so sure; so, so sure she could trust him to let her do what needed to be done.

"Commander Shepard, please relinquish your weapons to Lieutenant Vega. You won't be needing them." The tone in Anderson's voice told her it wasn't really a request.

Jane's hands closed into fists at her side. She opened her mouth to speak but found her mouth bone dry. She licked her lips, working up the moisture she needed and tried again. "Sir?"

 _"_ _Just listen to him, Jane. It's Anderson. Even if you were willing to barrel through everyone on this ship to get out of here, you couldn't make it. EDI would shut down the elevators, lock out the emergency stairs. You'd have nowhere to go,"_ John said.

"Commander, I can't in good conscious allow you to be armed or leave the Normandy unless absolutely necessary." Anderson squared his shoulders, his voice lacking even the faintest hint of regret.

 _"_ _Not leave the Normandy … that's good, that means he isn't taking us in. Not yet at least,"_ John said.

"With all due respect, sir. I don't think—." Jane thought that he just didn't understand. If she could just get him to see why it was necessary for her to stay on the mission he would change his mind.

"That's an order, Commander." There was that regret, just a hint of it seeping in through the edges of his gravelly voice and dulling the golden-brown of his eyes.

Jane clenched her jaw, her trembling hand flying to her forehead in salute. "Aye, aye, sir." The words forced their way through her throat, sounding tight and strangled. Jane reached for her pistol, and Garrus growled, low and deep. Jane's eyes jerked away from Anderson to stare down her best friend, the urge to follow through with Anderson's order pulsed in her veins.

 _"_ _Calm, Jane. Just move nice and slow. Don't push Garrus, and don't force Anderson to change his mind."_ John tried to convey tranquility through their connection, but Jane could feel his jittery nerves.

James stepped up, resting his fingertips on the back of Jane's hand. "I got it, Commander." He removed her pistol from her holster when she dropped her hand to her side. He moved to her back, removing each of her weapons one by one and setting them aside to be gathered when he finished. "I'm sorry, Lola," James said, his voice little more than a breeze brushing across her neck.

"Commander, I am going to allow you to remain aboard the Normandy under the care of Dr. Chakwas. She has convinced me that if Dawn has any hope of making a full recovery, it is in her best interest that you be allowed to continue to … occupy her body." Anderson cleared his throat. "And you were correct, the intel that you possess is vital in your mission against the collectors and the war against the reapers. That being said, you can provide your crew with all the intel they need from the safety of the Normandy while they continue on with the mission. I think you'll find the arrangement preferable to the alternative."

"Yes, sir." Jane dipped her head. Her jaw ached, her teeth threatening to crack beneath the pressure she put on them. Her heart ached even worse with the sting of betrayal.

"Ms. Lawson has informed me that there are a number of non-priority missions planned before your final assault on the collectors. I believe it is best that the Normandy attend to those in Dawn's absence, and your XO agrees." Anderson put a hand on Jane's shoulder, forcing her gaze back to his. "I know you're not happy about this, Commander. I hope that you can see that this is the best that I can do for you. This arrangement will only work so long as you cooperate. This will all stay off the record; remain unofficial so long as you don't force my hand. Listen to Dr. Chakwas, she's trying to help you."

* * *

Jane lay with her head hanging off the foot of her bed, her arms thrown out to the side. "I don't understand why I wasn't allowed to go." She blew her breath out in a heavy gust.

"Because you're fucking psycho. God damn, will you stop whining? It's not like I _want_ to be in here babysitting you so you don't go all Jolly Jane on the crew." Jack flipped her knife up into the air, watching it spin three times before it landed back in her palm. She sat on the couch, legs spread wide with her elbows braced on her knees.

"Jolly Jane?" Jane rolled over to her stomach, pushing up on her elbows to rest her chin in her palms. Her feet kicked back and forth behind her as she let out a puff of air, sending her bangs fluttering.

"Jolly Jane. She was a serial killer in the early nineteen-hundreds or some shit." Jack shrugged and tossed the knife again. "Fuck if I know. The point is, you got yourself into this mess so there's no point in bitching."

"You really think I'm psycho, Jack? I thought you of all people might be a little more understanding." Jane raised an eyebrow and watched as the biotic twirled the knife around in her fingertips. "You know what it's like to be held prisoner. You know what it's like to be tortured by Cerberus. Did they tell you that? In their little summit? That while Miranda was slicing and dicing up Dawn, I was awake and felt it all? I was screaming in agony but Miranda just kept cutting and scrapping, drilling away at me like it didn't even matter."

"If you're trying to convince me that Miranda's a bitch, don't bother. I've never been her fan. But yeah, you're fucking psycho, even if that part isn't your fault." Jack grinned. "I mean, I've been called crazy a time or two, but you … you cut a hole in your head and went digging around inside." Jack laughed and shook her head. "That's hardcore crazy right there. Then you shot Garrus, the one person on this ship who I actually _like_ besides Alliance, so yeah, don't expect any compassion from me." Jack stood up and made her way up the stairs to tap on Spike's tank. "Besides, I'm not really convinced that you are what they say you are. Sounds a lot to me like you've just got split personalities or something. Maybe Alliance just needs to self-medicate. I bet between Mordin and Dr. Chakwas you can find some good shit on this ship."

Jane snorted and rolled back over again, watching the upside down Jack pull the chair over to the snake tank and reach inside. She hoped Spike bit Jack, but he didn't, instead he crawled up her arm and let her take him out of his cozy habitat. John grumbled at Jane in the back of her mind, his attention firmly fixed on Jack's every movement.

She wasn't going to waste her breath trying to prove to Jack that she was something more than a figment of Dawn's damaged psyche. Instead, she decided to argue her case a little more because it wasn't like she had anything better to do. "But I mean, what harm could I really do helping Kasumi break into Dickhead Donavan Hock's vault? I already know exactly what she needs to do to get inside, and what she's going to face on her way out." And of course, she was required to inform Kasumi of every last detail. In the end, Miranda and James accompanied her.

Jack sauntered down the stairs again with Spike wrapped around her neck and trailing down her arms. "How the hell am I supposed to know? Better yet, why do you even fucking care? So what if you don't get to go shoot people this time? Most of us go weeks without getting off this damn ship while you're out having fun." Jack sat down again, holding Spike's head up even with her eyes, letting his tongue flicker out against her nose. "Shit, kick back and relax. It should be a damn vacation for you."

Jane rolled her eyes. John continued to observe in silence, salivating over Jack's every word. It gave Jane a smug sense of satisfaction knowing that Jack didn't even believe that he was real. "Did they tell you that there were times I was a man?"

 _"_ _Don't, Jane. There's no point in that, all you're going to do is piss her off for trying to mess with her head."_ John growled, his anxiety leaking through to Jane.

Jack focused on Jane, looking past Spike. "Nope, didn't say. Don't care."

Jane rolled over and sat up, dangling her feet over the edge of the bed. She stared at Jack for a moment before getting up and crossing to the other section of the couch. Jack pretended that she wasn't watching Jane's every move; that she wasn't intimidated or worried in the slightest but Jane could feel the tension in the air when she sat down a few feet away. "One of them was named John."

 _"_ _Jane, seriously. Leave her the hell alone."_ John's tone took on a threatening edge, bringing a smile to Jane's face.

"Fuck if you're going to keep talking I'm going to need a drink." Jack got up and crossed over to the liquor cabinet, putting some distance between herself and Jane.

Jane turned to face her as she walked away. "Don't you need to be sober to make sure I don't go all 'Jolly Jane'?"

"Please. They took all your weapons away and locked them up in the armory." Jack popped the top of a bottle of vodka Dawn kept in the back just for Jack and paused to finish her statement with the bottle an inch from her lips. "You're unarmed, and I can't even _get_ drunk enough that I can't put you through the wall with my biotics alone."

Jane waited for Jack to start drinking before speaking again, her voice a warm, sultry purr. "Oh, I'd never hurt you, Jack. John simply wouldn't allow it; you're the love of his life. Even now he's filling my mind with images of you stripped down, squirming beneath him."

 _"_ _Go to hell, Jane. Just go to fucking hell."_ John battered against the barrier keeping him out, futilely raging against Jane.

Jane was disappointed. She expected some sort of rise out of Jack, for her to cough and spew vodka all over the room or something. Instead, Jack gave her nothing but a cocked eyebrow and took another drink. "Aw, come on! You're not nearly as much fun as I expected."

"And you're not nearly as good at fucking with people as you think you are. That was child's play." Jack grinned and leaned against the liquor cabinet.

"So you don't want to make out? You can always pretend I'm John." Jane grinned. "Or Dawn, if you'd rather. You sure didn't have any problem sticking your tongue down her throat."

 _"_ _Don't you fucking touch her, Jane. I swear I will find a way to tear you limb from limb if you lay one finger on her."_ John seethed, his anger bitter on Jane's tongue.

"Jack, Zaeed is on his way to relieve you," EDI said.

"About fucking time." Jack put the lid back on the bottle and made her way up the stairs to put Spike back in his tank, glaring at Jane as she went.

Jane followed her up, smiling to herself as she leaned against the wall. The door opened a minute later and Zaeed walked in, stopping to take in the luxury of the cabin for the first time. Jack stepped down from the chair and rolled it back over to the desk before heading to the door.

"Going back down to your little hidey-hole, Jack?" Jane asked.

Jack stopped in the doorway and turned back to Jane, putting her hands on the wall on either side of Jane's head before leaning in real close. Jane arched an eyebrow as Jack put her lips next to her ears and whispered. "I don't know. I thought I might go ride Garrus' cock while he tells me all about how badly he wants to dig his talons into your eye sockets." Jack pushed away, meeting Jane's fiery glare with a smirk before leaving the cabin.

* * *

"Tell me about Vido." Zaeed leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his hands hanging limply between his legs. "Tell me I get that sonofabitch."

Jane let out a heavy sigh and pushed herself up from the bed, crossing over to the liquor cabinet. As soon as Kasumi and the others were back, they'd be heading to Zorya where she would be left behind while Zaeed took a team in to fight Vido Santiago. She hated being left behind.

Jane pulled out the bottle of vodka and a couple of tumblers before going to sit down next to Zaeed on the couch. She wasn't particularly fond of Vodka, but she'd drain the bottle if it meant it wasn't there for Jack later. He didn't flinch or move away from her the way Jack had, and that meant something to her. Then again, there wasn't much that could shake Zaeed Massani.

Jane poured them both a drink and then sat back with her glass, propping her feet up on the coffee table. "I've yet to see you catch him. I'm sorry." Zaeed turned at the waist to stare at her, and she took a sip of her drink. "Doesn't mean you won't this time. I can't tell you what you need to do, but I can tell you what's happened before." Jane lifted her shoulder in a shrug. "Maybe you can try something different this time."

* * *

Jane sat down across from Grundan Krul, elbows on the table; she rested her chin in her palms. Miranda was leading a team through the Eclipse base on Lorek. Thanks to Jane's intel, they already knew the Cerberus operative, Rawlings, that the Illusive Man wanted them to save was dead. Miranda wanted that intel for herself, though. If she was going to take over Cerberus, she wanted whatever edge she could find. Plus, it would make the Illusive Man happy to see that they were working on something he'd asked them to do.

Grundan Krul watched her with all four of his eyes, silently drinking his coffee. Jane glanced at the carafe sitting next to him. "May I?"

Grundan Krul took another drink before giving a slight nod of his head. Jane left the table, feeling his eyes follow her as she fetched a mug from the kitchen area and returned to the table. She filled her mug, breathing in the rich aroma. "You don't like me much, do you?" She took a sip and sighed appreciatively before setting the mug back on the table.

"Don't know you." Grundan Krul bent his elbows, holding the mug between his hands in front of his face.

Jane smirked. "Fair enough. I don't really know you, either. I never had the pleasure of meeting you before this time. You were always dead before I got to Garrus." Jane watched his face, but his expression didn't change. "Did he tell you about that, yet? Tell you that if Dawn hadn't warned him about Sidonis everyone on his team would be dead, and he would've taken a rocket to the face." Jane shrugged. "He'd have lived, of course, but man was his face scarred all to hell."

"He told me." Grundan Krul tipped his mug back, draining it before filling it up again.

* * *

Jane sat on the couch in the starboard observation. Samara sat on the floor a few feet away, surrounded by a blue glow. Miranda was working on recovering Cerberus' Project Firewalker. Jane suspected that was more from Garrus' influence than any interest Miranda might have in the vehicle itself. It was good though, they'd need the Hammerhead to save David Archer and that was one mission Jane definitely didn't want to see neglected.

"You misunderstand." Samara let the energy around her die down and turned her eyes to Jane. "I swore my oath to the one called Dawn. I will uphold that oath, and I believe her wishes were made clear to me. Should you do anything that would endanger yourself or anyone else aboard the Normandy; I will do as I must. It is as Shepard would ask of me."

"You swore an oath to me, too." Jane crossed her legs and folded her hands in her lap, the muscles in her back and shoulders tightening.

"I did not." Samara stood and crossed over to the observatory window. "I am not the Justicar that swore an oath to you. Either she no longer exists, or exists in another reality. I owe you no allegiance, even if I am appreciative of the information you have provided me." Samara dropped her gaze to the tips of her red leather boots. "And for killing my daughter."

* * *

Miranda left Legion behind after hearing about David's ability to control the geth. Jane assured her that Legion would be fine, but Miranda didn't trust that Jane was telling the truth. It was reassuring though, to see the fury in Miranda's eyes when Jane told her about what Cerberus had done to David in their Project Overlord.

"Shepard-Commander, we have been told that one of your programs is failing." Legion stood in front of Jane, drawing her attention back to him. The plating around his optics fluttering in mimicked concern. "EDI informs us that were it not for running multiple programs; your platform would also now be failing."

"Ah yeah, the uh … primary program, Dawn, that normally has control over our platform is comatose." Jane scratched her temple. "There's a chance that she might regain consciousness, though."

"We do not understand, Shepard-Commander. Are you unable to reach a consensus on whether to repair or terminate the faulty program, Dawn?" Legion opened his optic plates wide, scratching at the side of a plate.

* * *

Jane thought Miranda was just trying to buy time now, desperately hoping that Dawn would wake up soon and take back the reins. Not that Jane thought it was wrong of her to go out of her way to keep the MSV Broken Arrow from crashing into a planet, but it just didn't seem like it was on the top of Miranda's to do list. At least she trusted Jane enough to take Legion along for the ride this time. His skills would come in handy while fighting off the geth. Grunt was less than thrilled that he wasn't chosen, and he seemed determined to make Jane pay for his guard duty.

"You're not Shepard. If we were in Okeer's lab, you would be flushed from your tank and sent out to Jedore's men for target practice. On Tuchanka, you would be taken out to the ruins and left to die. You're not Shepard." Grunt lifted his lip in a snarl of disgust.

"Gee, Grunt. And to think I helped you kill a thresher maw and find a clan of your own." Jane crossed her arms and leaned against the metal railing across from Grunt. "You know, that wasn't even the first thresher maw I took down. Of course, the maws were nothing next to the reapers."

"And here you are now sniveling like a baby suckling at your mother's teat because no one likes you. They don't need to like you, they need to fear and respect you. But your mind is broken and you're weak. There's nothing to fear. Nothing to respect." Grunt shook his head and adjusted his grip on his assault rifle.

* * *

Grundan Krul had gotten word on the location of his father's old ship. It seemed his crew didn't let a little thing like their captain being killed keep them from carrying on with their important work of harvesting people to be sold into slavery. He'd gone to Garrus with the news, who then took it straight to Miranda. Miranda agreed to help Grundan Krul sabotage the ship with explosives. Jack was more than happy to help, but of course, Jane was left behind.

They didn't even tell her about the mission. Since Jane never dealt with Grundan Krul in her life, she didn't have anything that she could tell them about the ship and what they might face. It was Kasumi who had spilled the beans when she came in to replace Zaeed for guard duty. Jane hadn't seen much of the thief since she broke into Hock's vault. This was, surprisingly, the first time she'd actually been assigned to guard Jane.

Kasumi paced circles around Jane, her finger tapping against her lower lip. "It's funny. When Dr. Chakwas and Miranda told us about you … I guess I thought you'd look different somehow." She stopped in front of Jane, just outside of arms reach. "It's kinda creepy. I'm still having trouble believing all of this. But you were right, eerily on the mark about Donavan Hock." Kasumi lifted her shoulders and gave a slight shake of her head. "I don't know how else to explain it."

* * *

"I'm sorry, Shepard. Orders have been given that you refrain from entering the cockpit at Jeff's request until you are cleared for active duty. Jeff is concerned that you pose a security risk, and the cockpit must be protected." EDI's hologram floated in front of Shepard, an intangible barricade blocking the entrance to the cockpit.

Joker didn't even turn in his chair to look at her. Jane could tell he was listening though, his hands had stopped moving over the controls, and he sat stiffly in his chair. "He doesn't want to see me." It was a question, but a statement of the painfully obvious. She saw Joker flinch at her words.

 _"_ _They're afraid you'll try to steal the Normandy. Or maybe crash it into an asteroid. It's a reasonable precaution,"_ John said.

"No it isn't!" Jane snapped, her thoughts a twisted snarl of wounded pride and grief. "I'd never do that. Joker requested it, not Miranda, and not Anderson. It's his way of telling me he doesn't want to see me."

"I am obligated to inform you that if you continue beyond this point, it will be seen as a hostile breech and I will be required to request that Legion subdue you." Jane thought EDI's voice sounded a little colder, a little more detached than usual.

"I see. That won't be necessary. Thank you, EDI." Jane turned and walked away, her head held high despite the tears stinging at her eyes, threatening to fall.

She had thought that she might be able to find some of that sense of tranquility Dawn found siting in the co-pilots chair, engaging in easy banter with Joker, but apparently she wasn't welcome. Garrus had brought them back to Omega. Something to do with one of his old team members, but no one would tell her anything more. Garrus didn't think it was something she needed to know about. Half the team had disappeared the second they docked with the station, leaving Jane to wander the ship with a geth guardian.

* * *

"I'm not exactly happy about this arrangement either, Commander." Miranda sat down at her desk and opened her laptop, glancing over to where Jane sat next to the window. "By all reports, you pose a far greater threat to me than I to you."

Jane snorted softly but didn't bother to respond. Instead, she tried to imagine a galaxy with Miranda the driving force behind a renovated Cerberus and a dead batarian wrapping the stole of the Shadow Broker around his shoulders. Could it work? Could Dawn actually be on to something with these plans?

* * *

Jane waved off Miranda now safely within the confines of life support under Thane's watchful gaze. Miranda was calling another meeting, of which she was not allowed to join. Thane stood a few feet from the door, hands tucked neatly behind his back as he dipped his head to Miranda. Miranda returned his nod before ducking back out of the door. Jane turned her attention back to Thane; he didn't move and didn't invite her to sit.

Jane cocked her eyebrow before brushing past the assassin to sit squarely in the middle of his table with her legs tucked under her. "So, how's Kolyat?"

Jane watched as Thane's head dropped, his shoulders rising and falling as he took in a deep breath. He pivoted, turning to face Jane. His eyebrows twitched when he found her sitting on the table. "Kolyat is well. He writes to me regularly. He is learning to be content on Kahje, and Rone has helped him find work."

Thane crossed the floor to stand next to the observation window, the brilliant blue of the drive core a halo behind him. Jane turned on the table to face him squarely, putting her palms out behind her and leaning back. "We haven't had much of a chance to talk yet. I figured you'd have some questions. Some insight or input. Or are you just waiting for the doctors to find a way to kill me too?"

"I—I don't think killing you is the wisest way to deal with your particular circumstances." Thane crossed his arms over his chest.

Jane pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes, weighing his words and trying to find the hidden meaning she suspected was there. "Then what _is_ the wisest way to deal with me? Teaching Dawn how to meditate me away?"

"No. I don't believe it would even be possible for her to meditate you away, as you say." Thane gestured at Jane before tucking his hand back beneath his arm. "I simply hope to give her the tools she needs to maintain control over herself and her situation. It's not meant to be a solution, but a means to prevent more drastic measures."

Jane smirked and leaned forward. "You didn't answer the first question."

"Indeed." Thane chuckled. "I think that you are a very troubled woman, Jane. Understandably so. Nevertheless, you have just as much right to live as anyone else."

Jane threw her head back, cynical laughter floating up to the ceiling to echo back at her. "A right to live? That's an interesting view for an assassin. Then again, you never did fail to surprise me with the way you saw things."

Thane watched her, his face stoic until she was done laughing. "I believe that you are part of a whole, not unlike what the drell call 'disconnected'. The trauma you endured—that all of you endured—through these cycles, and more recently with your experience while being revived has kept you … fragmented." Thane dropped his arms, tucking his hands behind his back once more and cleared his throat. "I believe that what is best is for you to find a way to make yourself whole again."

"Disconnected," Jane thought, mulling the idea over.

 _"_ _Disconnected,"_ John echoed.

* * *

Miranda sent Garrus and Jacob out with the Hammerhead to fight through rocket drones and take down the barrier surrounding prothean ruins on Kopis. Not that the artifacts they would recover would actually do them any good. It didn't matter though, no matter how much Jane insisted that one mission or another was relatively pointless, Miranda insisted that they check it out anyway. Jane was beginning to wonder if this was more about Miranda enjoying the power trip of being in command than it was about buying time for Dawn.

Lia wrung her hands nervously, watching Jane as she worked at her desk. Jane glanced over at her and smiled. "Relax, Lia. I'm not half as crazy as I'm sure they made me out to be. I'm not going snap and attack you … unless you give me a reason." Jane snorted and shook her head when the young quarian gasped. "I'm surprised they sent you in here by yourself."

"They didn't want to, but I insisted that I could handle myself." Lia lifted her head and squared her shoulders. "Plus, EDI is watching, too, so I'm not really by myself."

"Then why are you so nervous, kid?" Jane arched her eyebrow even as she turned her attention back to her laptop.

"I'm not nervous." Lia cleared her throat. "What makes you think I'm nervous?"

"You mean besides the fact that you're about to wear a hole through your suit if you keep rubbing your hands like that?" Jane clicked on the blinking message icon on her desktop.

Lia dropped her hands to her side. "Oh."

Jane opened a message from Tali, her eyes scanning the words as a toothy grin spread across her face. "EDI, patch me through to Miranda."

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said.

"How can I help you, Commander?" Miranda's voice filtered through the comm system.

"I've just received a message from Tali. She and Kal would like to rejoin the Normandy to help with the attack against the collectors." Jane leaned back in her chair and swiveled to watch the now obviously excited quarian. "I am certain it's what Dawn would want. She was planning an eventual trip to the Migrant Fleet anyway. She wanted to discuss a particular matter regarding Lia with the Admiralty Board."

"Commander, I … I don't disagree that Dawn would want them aboard, and I have no issues with them joining us. I will work them into our schedule. They will, of course, have to be informed of your current status and be warned of the potential danger you present. If I understand correctly, Tali was already informed of your existence, so I don't anticipate that being a problem for her." The weighted pause in Miranda's speech was enough to make Jane loose hope. "However, I can't allow you to engage in conversations with the Admiralty Board. Is this perhaps a conversation that I can have on your behalf?"

Jane scoffed. "No offense Miranda, but I think that would be even more foolish than if I went myself." Jane rocked her chair from side to side and took a deep breath. "But it is one that Garrus—as someone the quarians will recognize as having served with Tali on the old Normandy—might be able to pull off. I'll talk to him."

"Very well, Commander. Is that all?" Miranda asked.

"Yeah." Jane stood up from her desk. "Come on, Lia, we have a grouchy turian to talk to."

* * *

Dr. Chakwas rubbed an alcohol swab over Jane's arm. "Any changes? Signs that Dawn is regaining consciousness?" She tied a tourniquet around Jane's arm, using her omni-tool to locate the vein before sliding the needle into her skin.

"Nope. Nothing today either, doc." Jane closed her eyes against the bright overhead light.

"Hmmm. And what of the others?" Jane could hear the soft beep of Dr. Chakwas omni-tool as she waved it over her head and down her body.

"Same as usual. John's there, can't hear the others until I try to sleep," Jane said.

"Any unusual physical symptoms? Fatigue, joint stiffness, difficulty breathing?" Dr. Chakwas rattled off a list as Jane shook her head.

"You can sit up now, Commander." Dr. Chakwas returned to her desk chair, spinning it around to face Jane as she sat. "How are you handling things otherwise? I know that some of the crew have been less than accepting of you."

Jane sat up, letting her legs dangle over the foot of the bed and shrugged her shoulders. How was she handling things? She was bored out of her mind and being forced to face a crew that was divided on whether or not she should even be allowed to exist. "I'm good, doc. A little restless but good."

"I hear we'll be picking Tali and her friend, Kal, up in a few days. It will be good to see Tali again. Maybe having her around will help ease some of your restlessness, don't you think?" Dr. Chakwas warm smile didn't reach her eyes. Jane could tell she was really starting to worry that Dawn might not recover.

Jane wasn't surprised to realize that she was, too. She'd stopped trying to get to Dawn while her body slept. The voices that egged her on didn't like it. They didn't understand why Jane was suddenly resisting their guidance. The truth was, she was growing stronger the longer she spent in Dawn's body. The chaotic haze that surrounded her thoughts—the doubt, fear, and confusion—was starting to lift. She found herself able to think a little more clearly; see things a little more clearly and she knew that if Dawn never woke up, there was no way they'd win the war. There was no way they'd break the cycle. "Yeah, doc. It'll be great seeing Tali again."

She also knew that the moment Dawn woke up, she'd be trapped inside again, and she didn't think it would take very long for the voices to swallow her whole once more.

* * *

Miranda was off with a team following more leads left behind by Dr. Cayce from Project Firewalker. Jane wasn't even sure which mission she was on anymore. She'd given Miranda everything she could about Project Firewalker and stopped caring. Dawn was never going to wake up and Miranda was running out of things to do. Eventually, they were going to have to face the music and carry on with defeating the collectors. The question was, were they going to do it with or without Jane.

"I've never seen you look so skittish, Jacob." Jane put a forkful of what Gardner called spaghetti in her mouth. The operative sat across from her in the mess hall, his own plate in front of him, but he couldn't take his eyes off of her long enough to get the fork to his mouth.

"Sorry, Commander, but this … I didn't sign on for this. I mean, what am I even supposed to do with this?" Jacob finally looked away, managing to spear and twirl the long noodles on his fork.

"I alarm you more than the collectors?" Jane shook her head in disbelief. "Then Cerberus bringing a dead woman back to life? Then the shit your own father was up to?"

"No, that's not what I meant … I mean, you're supposed to be the commanding officer of this ship. You're supposed to be the problem solver … instead, you _are_ the problem." Jacob shook his head. "I'm not trying to offend you, but you have to see how drastically this changes the mission parameters. If we can't even trust you to not cut open your own head, how can we trust you to lead this mission and stop the collectors? Stop the reapers?"

* * *

"Mordin, please." Jane rubbed her temples. "I don't know what else I can tell you. Can't we just talk about something else—anything else for a while?"

Mordin sniffed. "Last question. Dawn said initially pushed for change, then changed mind. Wanted things to go back to familiar patterns. Why?"

* * *

Finally, they were on their way to get Tali. Jane hoped desperately that having Tali back would help buffer some of the tension between her and Garrus. It was killing her to see him so closed off from her. She'd tried like hell to get him to soften up. She even apologized a million times while running him through Dawn's plan to reveal the geth's ability to speed up the immune process in quarians.

Not even Lia's normally infectious excitement broke through his wall. At least he was done threatening her every time he saw her, and this was the first time he hadn't argued his way out of guard duty. Although, Jane didn't think he was doing a very good job seeing as he kept his back to her eighty percent of the time.

"It's been more than a week, Jane." Garrus had never sounded so defeated to her before. "She's not coming back, is she?"

Jane sat on his cot tucked in the corner of the main battery. His flanging voice shocked her after the long hours of silence and angry glances. Jane sucked in a breath and shook her head slowly. "I don't know, Garrus. I'm sorry."

He chuffed, pressing his palms to the edge of his workbench to brace himself. He shook his head, his back still to her. "Are you, Jane? Are you really? I mean, isn't this what you wanted all along?"

Jane leaned forward, bracing her elbows on her knees. Her chest squeezed in around her heart, threatening to crush the life right out of her. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper but she knew he'd hear her. "I'm sorry it's hurting you. I know you don't believe me, but that's the last thing I ever wanted to do."

His distressed rumble echoed off the walls before he cut it off. His head dropped, making the spikes of his crest stand up like proud soldiers in the air. She wanted nothing more in that moment than to go to him and pull him to her so she could wrap her arms around him in solace. She knew it would only make things worse, though. There was no solace to be found for him in her embrace.

"I wish I could show you what it's like in there. Then maybe you'd understand why I've been so desperate to get out." Jane ran a hand through her hair before resting it on the back of her neck. "I know it wouldn't matter much to you, you'd still just want her back. But I just wish you could understand what I have to go through."

Garrus lifted his head but kept his back turned, his voice unsteady when he spoke. "I hate that you look like her. Sound like her. I hate … hmmm … I hate that you smell like her. It's like she's dead all over again, and I'm just being haunted by her memory every time I turn around." A sharp keen ripped through his throat, shifting to a growl as he slammed his hands down on the table. "And I'm forced to live with the person who killed her just so I can make sure she doesn't kill everyone else."

Tears welled up in Jane's eyes, spilling over in fat droplets to roll down her cheeks. "She's not dead, Garrus. She's just sleeping."


	58. Chapter 35: Tali'Zorah vas Normandy

**A/N:** So, I'm pretty sure this chapter is crap. Sorry it's late as well! It drove me nuts, but I couldn't get it right and keep up with school etc.

 **Chapter 35: Tali'Zorah vas Normandy**

Jane clutched the stack of picture frames to her chest, sharp corners jabbing into her exposed forearms as she sunk into the corner of her cabin, tucked back between her bed and the wall. Jacob sat across the room, watching her while pretending to not watch, from his place on the couch. Tears, hot and thick rolled down Jane's face, defiant and daring Jacob to comment.

She spread the frames out on the floor around her, running her fingertips over each of the faces of her fallen comrades. Kaidan, Liara, and Ashley stared back at her, their faces forever frozen in smiles, oblivious in that moment to their fate. There were other pictures, too, pictures of Dawn with Garrus, or Tali. There was a candid shot someone took of Dawn laughing at something Wrex was saying. She didn't like those pictures as much, it should be her face in those pictures but instead it was Dawn's staring back at her.

"Wake up, Dawn. I don't want this anymore." Jane's thoughts stirred something in John, encouraging him to perk up and pay attention, but he remained silent.

Jane swiped the back of her hand under each eye before picking up the picture of Kaidan, pulling her knees up to her chest so she could balance the frame in front of her face. Each slow, aching thud of her heart felt like a knock on death's door. She would welcome death; eagerly embrace it even, if she knew for sure it would truly be the end.

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep." Jane's thoughts brought John a little closer to her consciousness, but graciously he didn't speak.

"Kaidan." Her voice cracked; a whisper turning into a croak. Jane glanced at Jacob, assuring herself he was out of earshot before returning her eyes to the image in front of her. "Kaidan I'm sorry. I know you can't hear me, you're dead and gone again, but I'm still here." Jane swallowed, trying to push down the knot building in her throat. "Who knows, maybe you can hear me, and I just can't hear you. Wouldn't that be something? I spent so long where no one could hear me, and they didn't even know I was there until it was too late for them, too."

She frowned, brushing tears from her face again and tracing trembling fingertips over Kaidan's face. "I loved you, you know? I don't know how I could have forgotten that. I think I would've liked the chance to see you again, you know, face to face. Even if it isn't my face. I'm proud of you, though, Kaidan. You did the right thing. The honorable thing."

Jane shifted her feet, pulling her knees in closer to her chest, trying to soothe the ache cutting through her core. "She was … we were just trying to save you. You and Ash both. But now you're both dead anyway. We're just trying to fix this whole mess, you get that, don't you Kaidan?" A desperate, strangled sobbed ripped its way from her throat.

"Shepard?" The alarm in Jacob's voice was unmistakable.

Jane looked up at her name, meeting his gaze from across the room and shook her head. "I'm fine." Jacob frowned, but mercifully looked away, leaving her to her own little pocket of pretend privacy.

"They all hate me now, Kaidan. Well, I guess not _all_ of them, but a lot of them." Jane's fingers clenched around the edges of the frame, turning her knuckles white. "Garrus … Garrus hates me. I think you'd hate me now, too."

The soft hissing of the door sliding open jerked Jane's attention away from the photo pressed against her knees. She craned her neck, trying to see over the partitioning wall. The familiar lilt of Tali's voice reached her ears, her heart raced in response as she scrambled to her feet. Jane didn't even know they'd reached the Migrant Fleet. They'd stopped telling her where they were going, and she'd stopped asking.

She took two halting steps, the picture of Kaidan hanging loosely, all but forgotten, from her fingertips. "Tali?"

Jacob stood, glancing between the doorway and Jane. She thought she heard Tali's voice again, hushed and urgent. She rushed for the stairs, an excited smile drying her tears, but faltered halfway when Garrus appeared at the top of the steps. Mandibles flaring, his chin lifted as he drank in the scent of her pity party before stepping down into the room. Jane took a few steps back, lingering near the foot of her bed in confusion. Garrus tuned his head, looking up past the stairs and nodded. A second later, Tali made her way down with Kal.

Jane turned her attention to her favorite quarian, the hope and longing spilling over her in such ferocious waves that for a moment she forgot to be cautious. She dropped the photo to her bed, forgetting everyone else but Tali and rushed forward. "Tali!"

The sound of pistols whirring to life stopped her in her tracks. Her eyes darted, zeroing in on the source of the treat. Garrus and Jacob both had their weapons trained on her, and Kal's hand hovered over his. Jacob at least had the courtesy to aim at her legs; Garrus had her dead to rights.

"Keelah! Garrus Vakarian! Put that away!" Tali's voice screeched with all the authority the tiny thing could muster, slapping his armored chest with enough unexpected force to make him take a step back.

Garrus looked at Tali, his mandibles fluttering in surprise. Tali stared him down, her hands on her hips. "I said put it away. Keelah se'lai, you bosh'tet, it's Shepard." Tali turned to Jacob, the weight of her glare heavy even through her mask. "And you, too."

Jacob had the sense to look embarrassed, but Garrus growled, making his frustration crystal clear. " _That_ is _not_ Shepard."

Jane's jaw clenched. She sucked in a deep breath through her stuffy nose, her hands balling into fists at her side. "I'm not going to hurt her, Garrus."

"Of course you're not." Tali opened her arms, moving toward Jane despite her aggressive stance.

Kal stopped her, a hand wrapped around her wrist. "Tali, you need to take Dr. Chakwas warnings seriously."

Tali jerked her arm free, scoffing in Kal's face before turning back to Jane. She took another step, her arms held wide. That was all the welcome Jane needed. Tossing aside her worry over Garrus and the others, she rushed to close the distance. Throwing her arms around Tali, Jane buried her face in the quarian's neck and released a soul-shattering sob. Tali smoothed Jane's hair, humming and shushing gently in her ear. Jane squeezed her eyes closed, willing everyone else but Tali to go away. The door hissed opened and closed, but the quiet shuffling of feet nearby remained.

Only when the spasms of her chest and shoulders stilled, and the tears began drying on her cheeks, did she dare to speak. "I'm so glad you're here." Jane pulled back, holding Tali at arm's length so she could see her luminescent eyes. Her cheeks ached with the strain of her grin. "I've got so much to tell you. Oh! Your father? Have you heard from him? How is he? Did they tell you about Lia and Legion yet?"

Tali giggled, running a gloved hand over Jane's hair again. "I'm happy to see you, too. My father is fine; we can talk about him later. I've only been told that Lia and Legion have something to show me. Garrus said that you wanted to talk to the Admiralty Board about it, but they're sending him instead." Tali glanced at Garrus who nodded. "He wanted you to explain it first, to see if I thought it was a good idea."

Jane stole a peek at Garrus, relieved to see he'd put his pistol away. He fluttered his mandibles; his eyes alert to her every movement. She turned back to Tali and pursed her lips. "I think it's probably better to let Lia explain, if that's alright?"

"Sure, if that's what you want. Where is she? I didn't see her on my way in." Tali let her hand slip away from Jane, and Jane took a step back. With the natural balance between the two women restored, Jane felt her commander mask slipping comfortably back into place.

"I'm not sure. Probably the AI core. EDI?" Jane looked toward EDI's access node, even though she couldn't see it from where she stood.

"That is correct, Shepard. Lia and Legion are in the AI core. Would you like for me to ask them to join you?" EDI's voice filled the room.

"Yes, thanks, EDI." Jane glanced around the room, noting Jacob's absence with utter apathy.

"Very well, Shepard." EDI hadn't been very keen on telling Jane that she was welcome. In fact, the AI seemed so reluctant to speak to Jane at all that she wondered if Miranda had ordered EDI to respond to Jane.

"They'll be here soon, I'm sure." Jane gestured to the couch, moving to sit down herself. "I know Lia was very excited to hear you two were coming back to the Normandy."

Kal chuckled, taking Tali's hand in his own. "I'm not surprised, Tali has a way of winning over hearts."

Jane grinned as Kal led Tali to the couch by the hand. She always wanted to see the two of them together, and it made her heart swell to know that somehow things had worked themselves out for them in this life. It was obvious to her that Kal had ulterior motives, seating himself between Tali and Jane, but she didn't mind. She couldn't begrudge the quarian for wanting to protect the woman he so clearly loved. Garrus sat down on Tali's opposite side, sandwiching her in between the two of them.

Jane cleared her throat, turning her attention to Kal. "Oh, I think you both won over Lia's heart. She was just as excited when she learned you'd be accompanying Tali. Happy to have you aboard, by the way."

Kal dipped his head, his voice still bordering on cautious but not lacking in respect as he said, "Thank you, ma'am. Happy to be aboard."

A few moments later, the cabin door opened again. Jane stood to welcome Lia and Legion, but Garrus cut her off, blocking the foot of the stairs. Jane's face must have shown the ache in her heart, because Tali leaned past Kal to pat Jane's knee as she sat back down. Jane couldn't read Kal easily—barely knowing the marine hidden behind the envirosuit—but she saw his spine stiffen and heard the muffled scoff, and she thought it was directed at Garrus. Perhaps she might make an ally out of him yet. Jane lifted her shoulder in a shrug, plastering a reassuring smile on her face for Tali's sake.

"Bosh'tet," Tali said under her breath, glaring at Garrus.

Lia appeared at the top of the stairs first, nodding at Garrus before moving past him, making a beeline for the other quarians. Tali stood, giving Lia a hug before sliding out of the way so Kal could shake her hand.

Legion stopped next to Jane, his looming presence calming to her. Unlike the others, even EDI, Legion had no real opinion on Jane and her place in the grand scheme of things and seemed just as loyal to Jane as to Dawn, accepting them as nothing more than two of many programs running in the same platform. Incidentally, Legion, unlike the others, was also the only one who would feel absolutely nothing—neither regret nor glee—in slipping a syringe into her neck if the need arose. The reasoning was explained to him, he was given his orders, and he would do as expected should she step outside of the parameters of acceptable behavior.

Jane stood, resting her fingertips on the armored plating of Legion's upper arm. "Legion, you remember Tali and Kal, I'm sure?"

"Yes. We offer greeting to the creators." Legion surprised Jane by extending his hand to Tali and Kal.

Jane was pleased to see that the two quarians accepted Legion's offer and shook his hand, though it was clear they still weren't exactly comfortable in his presence. She motioned Lia over to the couch, letting her sit down next to Kal. Even with plenty of room for everyone on the couch, Jane decided to remain standing. This was Lia's moment, and although it fascinated and pleased her, she wasn't really a part of it.

"Lia, why don't you go ahead and tell Tali and Kal about your, ah, project." Jane smiled, nodding encouragingly when the young quarian looked up at her.

Lia turned back to the others, and much like she did when she first showed Dawn, she decided to let her actions speak for themselves. Lia reached up and popped the hermetic seals of her mask. Tali and Kal both gasped, their hands darting out to stop her.

"Lia! No! What are you doing?!" Tali screeched, her hand slamming down over Lia's and holding the mask in place.

Jane chortled. Garrus glared at her, flicking his mandibles in agitation.

"No, it's alright." Lia gently pushed at them with her free hand. "Let me show you."

Tali looked to Jane, who smiled and said, "Trust her, it's a good thing."

Tali and Kal shared a glance before Tali took her hand away, Kal following her lead a moment later. Lia slipped the mask from her face, settling it into her lap. Jane watched as Garrus' mandibles flared, and the iris of his visor spun out of control, undoubtedly mapping the details of her face.

It wasn't the first quarian's face he'd seen, Jane knew. They'd never talked about it but reports on the Shadow Broker's ship claimed Archangel once killed a quarian by coughing on them. Jane figured that meant he had to rip their mask off and get right in their face. Otherwise, their suit would have locked down the breach and pumped them full of antibiotics.

Then again, that was her Garrus. Maybe this Garrus never did that, maybe this really was the first time he'd seen a quarian's face. Jane felt the desperate urge to ask, but she doubted he would answer. It hardly seemed the appropriate time for such a conversation, anyway.

Garrus turned his attention to her, his mandibles snapping in tight around his jaws when he found her staring at him. She thought, for just a second, a fraction of a second really, that she saw an ounce of compassion there. He turned away from her, throwing ice water on the warmth that dared to flicker inside of her.

 _"_ _Just let him go, Jane. You're only hurting yourself and making it harder for him,"_ John said.

"Never." The fierceness of her thoughts brought a spike of adrenaline coursing through her veins.

Garrus' head snapped back to her, his brow dipping low as the iris of his visor contracted. Jane tore her eyes from Garrus and focused on Lia, aware that she'd already missed half of the conversation going on around her.

Lia looked back and forth between Legion and the quarians as she talked. "Really, it's something that could be done for all of us. Legion and the other geth _want_ to help us; they _want_ us to come back to Rannoch. They never wanted a war with us."

Kal scooted a little closer to the edge of his seat, the marine in him barely keeping his excitement contained. "You aren't getting sick at all?"

"No, not exactly." Lia glanced back at Jane and Legion. "Just not as much. I've adapted fairly well to the Normandy at this point, but whenever someone new comes aboard, there's a new adjustment to be made. If I were to take my mask off in the middle of the Citadel, my immune system wouldn't be able to handle it any better than yours."

Tali turned to Jane, her glowing eyes boring holes through Jane's defenses. She could feel the fury radiating off of one of her oldest friends, and it twisted her stomach into knots. She held her palms out. "Hey, it wasn't my idea. The first I learned about it, Lia was taking off her mask to show Dawn in the AI core. I mean, I knew it was something Legion could do, but everything with Lia is new to me."

"It was my decision. I didn't tell anyone until I knew it was working, and I made Legion promise not to either." Lia moved to stand on Legion's other side. "Well, I convinced him not broach the topic with anyone on his own, but still."

"We did not intend to upset you, Creator Zorah. We only saw a solution to the creators' problem and offered assistance." Legion shifted next to Jane, putting himself ever so slightly between her and the upset quarian sitting on the couch.

Garrus cleared his throat, pulling everyone's attention to him. He turned on the couch, facing Tali more squarely. "Shepard—Dawn." He cleared his throat again, pain dancing across his crystal blue eyes. "Dawn wanted—wants to bring this information to the Admiralty Board. She hopes it will help broker peace between your people and the geth. Some of what Jane's experienced proves that peace is possible, under the right circumstances." Garrus glanced at Jane long enough to catch her nod before turning his attention back to Tali. "Miranda isn't willing to let Jane speak to the Admiralty Board … hmmm … so I've been prepped to discuss it with them on Dawn's behalf. They having someone you know personally would, uh, would be a better call then sending in someone in Cerberus colors. But I won't do this, Tali, not without your say so."

The room erupted into chatter; only she and Legion remained quiet. Jane cleared her throat, and when that didn't bring silence, she started speaking loud enough to be heard above the din. "In less than a full cycle the reapers will be here in force." Jane paused when all eyes riveted to her, mouths suddenly speechless. "They'll hit Earth, Palaven, Thessia, Tuchanka … and even Rannoch."

"Rannoch? Why Rannoch?" Tali sat up a little straighter, concern filling her voice.

"Because they aren't satisfied with the number of geth they've been able to convert. They want them all, and any they can't get, they're willing to kill. Meanwhile, the quarian's will be assembling, ready to go to war." Jane rolled her shoulders, taking her time meeting the gazes of each quarian present.

"Well, with all due respect, ma'am, where else would we be when the reapers invade?" Kal asked.

"Oh, you won't be ready to go to war against the reapers. You'll be ready to go to war against the geth." Jane crossed her arms, staring down the startled marine.

"The geth?" Kal's spine stiffened, his glowing eyes shifting back to Legion.

"What? No!" Lia stepped in front of Legion, in what Jane suspected was an unconscious attempt to shield him from the other quarians.

"Shepard-Commander?" Legion's head swiveled to her. "The geth do not want war with the creators."

Jane frowned and nodded. "I know, Legion. And I'll do—Dawn will … ." Jane raked a hand through her hair and heaved a heavy sigh. " _We_ will do everything that we can to keep that from happening. Unfortunately, I have yet to see it be completely avoided in all of my lives. The quarians were taught a different history than what you know, Legion. They didn't have the luxury of being able to archive audio and visual footage for future generations … and perhaps a few simply didn't want the truth to be known."

Jane stepped away from the geth to pace the floor, the weight of everyone's stare resting heavily on her shoulders. "Most quarians believe that the geth started the Morning War. That you attacked them. That you chased them from their homes, and they blame you for their current state."

"That _is_ what happened!" Tali's voice, though stubborn, shook with doubt.

Jane stopped to meet her friend's gaze, letting every ounce of empathy she had for the plight of the quarians seep into her voice. "No, Tali. I'm sorry, but it's not." She resumed her pacing. "When the reapers hit, the quarians seize the opportunity. They believe the geth are vulnerable and mount an attack. As to be expected, the geth defended themselves. A lot of lives are lost on both sides."

 _"_ _Should you really be telling them this? I mean, don't get me wrong, Jane, I want this thing to work, too. But I'm not sure Tali's willing to hear it, and who knows how the geth consensus will decide to respond?"_ John asked.

"It's what Dawn would do, isn't it?" Jane snapped, her face reddening when she realized she spoke the words out loud.

She spun around, looking at the startled organics and rubbing the back of her neck. "Sorry. Anyway, I was saying … I can't stand here and give you every last detail. I don't even have all of the details, and it would take far too long to convey everything I do know." Jane sighed, letting her hand drop, slapping it against her thigh.

"But what I can tell you, is that sometimes we've been able to talk the quarians down long enough to consider the idea that maybe, just maybe, the geth didn't want to fight." Jane threw her hands up in the air. "That the geth will actually welcome you home, and you can all live in peace." She ran her hands through her hair and left them grasping the top of her head for a moment.

Jane spun around, moving back to the group with fast enough strides that Garrus rose to block her path. "Sorry, no it's just … I'm not going to hurt anyone, I promise. I'm just …."

Garrus nodded, his mandibles flaring as he scented the air around her. "Excited."

"Yeah," Jane whispered, dropping her gaze to the three feet of empty floor between the two of them.

Garrus eased back, reclaiming his seat on the couch next to Tali. Jane pushed forward, keeping the coffee table between herself and those on the couch. "Don't you see? This could be the thing that keeps that war from ever happening? The quarians and the geth can make peace now. Now!" She ignored the mania welling up inside of her, echoing off the inside of her skull as the unheard chorus of Shepards agreed with her. "If you can get them to hear Garrus out, if they'll at least agree to consider the possibility that maybe what Legion has been saying all along is the truth and the geth _want_ the quarians to come back to Rannoch and live peaceful lives. To coexist!"

 _"_ _Easy now, Jane. You're getting everyone riled up, inside and out."_ John warned.

"I don't know, Shepard …." Tali wrung her hands, glancing at Kal. "Well, say something! And don't give me that 'I'm just a marine, ma'am' crap."

Kal chuckled, turning his head to scan everyone in the room. His eyes lingered on Legion and Lia standing next to him, her face exposed for all to see. "I think that at the very least, we have a duty to tell the Admiralty Board of this. The implications are … astounding."

"Shepard, maybe we should take a minute to discuss this alone. Kal and I, I mean … and Lia." Tali glanced back at Lia, just a quick flutter of her eyes as if seeing the girl without her mask was too much for her to look at for too long.

"Oh." Jane took a step back, biting her lip. "Yeah, sure. Totally."

Lia slipped her mask back into place, reengaging the seals and led Tali and Kal out of Jane's cabin. Garrus walked with them to the door, talking too low for Jane to hear before coming back down the stairs to watch her. Jane paced a few steps before returning to her corner, collecting Kaidan's picture off the bed as she went. She slid down the wall, pulling the photos in around her and rested her chin on her knees.

"How you doing over there, Legion? That was a lot of info I just threw at you. What's the consensus?" Jane watched as the geth pivoted to face her, staying in the same location.

Garrus fluttered his mandibles, turning his attention to Legion as well. Jane could see the hint of unease etched into his features, and she wondered what was going on inside that thick skull of his.

"The geth have anticipated hostile actions by the creators since the creators left the Perseus Veil. We have been monitoring organic transmissions, and have found no reason to suspect immediate hostile actions." Legion flared the plates around his optics. "We require further data to form a consensus."

"You have questions?" Jane leaned her head against the wall, keeping her eyes on Legion.

"Yes." Legion bobbed his head.

"Go ahead. I'll answer what I can," Jane said, steeling herself for a lot of questions she didn't have the answers to.

Jane spent the next half hour answering questions about future encounters between the geth and the quarians, all the while painfully aware that the bulk of what she knew might not even occur in this new, strange world Dawn created. It was not without surprise that Legion soon switched tracks to discuss the reaper's role in the advancement of the geth. John squirmed restlessly in the back of Jane's mind, warning her that everything she said would potentially alter future events beyond what she might anticipate.

Knowing that the quarians would attack under a particular set of circumstances might cause the geth to begin countermeasures before those events occurred. Telling Legion that the geth agree to subject themselves to the 'Old Machines', in exchange for upgrades to help them fight the quarians, might urge Legion into the reaper's hands sooner. Telling him that with these upgrades, his people would become something that he himself would one day refer to as 'beautiful' might incentivize geth cooperation with the reapers.

Jane didn't know how this would change things, or what level of FUBAR mess it would create but she knew one thing: Dawn would've done the same thing. She'd have given them the chance to forge their own path, draw their own conclusions, and make their own mistakes. She could tell that Garrus thought the same thing as he watched her, brow plates furrowed, mandibles dancing out a varied rhythm over his face. She couldn't smell him the way he could smell her, but she was willing to bet that he reeked of trepidation. They both did.

Jane pushed herself up from the floor, using the edge of the bed for support and gathered up the photos of her dead friends. She carefully set them back where they belonged, glancing at Legion over her shoulder as the geth processed the new information. "You know, Legion … I don't know how yet, but we can find a way to get the geth those upgrades without you having to give yourselves over to the reapers, even for a short time."

"Shepard's right," Garrus said, pulling the geth's attention to him. "We know where there's a derelict reaper. Maybe we can find something there to help."

Jane grinned at Garrus, cocking her hip and crossing her arms over her chest.

His mandibles fluttered, and he shifted his weight uncomfortably. "What?"

"You called me Shepard." Jane shrugged. "Are we making progress?"

Garrus chuffed, his mask of contempt slamming back down over his face and crossed his arms. Jane frowned and let out a slow breath, turning her attention back to Legion.

"It's not really all that derelict, trust me on that. But, he has a point. Usually it's where I first meet you." Jane moved to stand in front of Legion. "You were there looking into the reaper's programing. Trying to figure them out so you could stop the virus they're using against the geth to force assimilation."

The cabin door opened, letting the three quarians back into the room before Legion could respond. Everyone remained standing as Tali, Kal, and Lia filed down the steps and came to a stop in front of Jane. Garrus moved closer, standing a few feet away from Jane, his attention focused on the quarians that faced her. Jane glanced at Legion and bit her lower lip, her shoulder muscles tensing as she waited for Tali to tell her what they decided.

Tali stopped wringing her hands and squared her shoulders. "We think that it is best if we wait a while longer before bringing this to the Admiralty Board." She glanced at Garrus, tilting her head down at an angle. "No offense, Garrus, but I think it should wait until Shepard is … feeling better. I think she should be there. And, this will give us time to evaluate Lia's progress and the process involved. We need to be certain of what this means, and what the geth are offering before we take this to the Migrant Fleet. This is too big to rush."

Garrus let out a pent up breath and laughed, shaking his head. "None taken." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I wasn't exactly looking forward to being the one to tell the Admiralty Board they should let geth programs into their suits and make peace."

"Shepard?" The uncertainty hung heavy in the air around Tali.

Jane shrugged. "Don't look at me." She turned to Legion, the others following suit. "Legion? That work for the geth?"

The plates around Legion's optics flared, and he dipped his head. "Yes."

"Alright then, I guess I'll let Miranda know. It's time for me to check in with her anyway." Jane ran her fingers through her hair, the prospect of spending time with Miranda not quite as daunting as it was a couple of weeks before, but still unnerving.

Garrus started toward the steps. "I'll take you down there and then help Tali and Kal get settled in. Grunt will be spending the rest of the evening with you, and then Thane has you overnight."

"Fantastic." Jane didn't try to hide the sarcasm in her voice. Grunt was swiftly becoming one of her least favorite guards. He'd barely make conversation with her, and when he did it was mostly to remind her that she wasn't Dawn, and she was weak. Half the time she suspected he was caught in an existential dilemma between wanting to kill her, and knowing it would also kill his 'true battlemaster'.

Garrus flicked his mandibles in response but didn't say anything. Jane started to follow him when Tali reached out and grabbed her hand. She turned back to her friend, with a raised eyebrow.

"I can walk her down there, Garrus." Tali tugged gently at Jane's hand, urging her to Tali's side. "I'm sure Lia can help Kal, and I can find them later. Unless you have nothing better to do?"

Garrus stopped, turning back to look at their joined hands. "Tali, I don't think you really understand—." He paused when Tali lifted her wrist, fiddling with her omni-tool. "What are you doing?"

"Maybe Chatika will remind you that I can take care of myself." Her fingers ran over the keys, hovering over the last one that would summon her combat drone and looked back up at Garrus.

Jane fought to suppress a grin while Kal and Lia chuckled beside her.

Garrus held his hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright. Just … be careful."

Lia looped an arm through Legion's. "Come with us, Legion? There's a lot to talk about."

"Yes, Creator Vael." Legion shifted, accommodating Lia's arm on his own in a way that spoke of far more familiarity than Jane had ever expected to see between the two.

The room cleared out, leaving Jane standing with Tali. "It really is so good to see you, Tali. I was nervous, I didn't know how you would take to the news that I was … huh, I was going to say 'running the show' but that isn't very accurate considering Anderson has effectively stripped me of power."

"I can't believe they're all treating you like this, Shepard!" Tali's voice raised an octave in her outrage.

Jane rubbed the back of her neck and shook her head. "No, Tali. I hate to admit it—he and I haven't been on the best of terms—but Garrus is right. I've put him and Dawn through hell. I understand why no one wants to trust me, I just wish he could see that I'm trying to make things right."

Tali wrapped her arms around herself in something that resembled more of a hug than anything else, her voice low and soft when she spoke. "Did you really shoot him?"

Jane snorted and rubbed her forehead. "It barely grazed him!"

"Shepard!" Tali shifted her hands to her hips, scolding Jane.

"It's complicated, Tali." Jane started making her way to the stairs. If she didn't check in with Miranda soon, they'd send someone else after her to drag her down kicking and screaming. "I wasn't in my right mind. I'm still not … not completely, but I'm getting better. For now."

"What happened?" Tali followed her up the stairs, pausing to look at Spike.

"Long story short, Mordin implanted us with a device created from technology taken from the collectors. Reaper tech, really. It masks us from the collector's swarms, acts as an IFF." Jane reached back, running her fingers along the base of her skull where she swore she could still feel the device. "The idea scared the hell out of me, Tali. I begged Dawn not to let him do it, but she did anyway."

Jane chewed on the inside of her cheek, tasting blood as the muscles in her chest constricted, old panic starting to bubble to the surface. "I guess you'd say I had a panic attack. I … forced my way out, locked myself in the bathroom, and tried to cut it back out on my own. I could feel the damn thing moving around inside of me." Jane shuddered, dropping her hand to her side.

"EDI alerted Garrus that something was wrong and he came up to check on me. I pulled my pistol on him, just trying to get him to stand down because I _had_ to get that damn thing out of me." She stared into Tali's glowing orbs, silently begging her to understand. "He tried to talk me down, and when that wouldn't work, he lunged at me. I've played that moment over and over in my head since then, trying to convince myself that it was an accident, that I didn't mean to pull the trigger but honestly I don't know. I know I never meant to seriously hurt him."

"Keelah se'lai." Her voice came through barely above a whisper. Tali rubbed a hand up and down her other arm. "You helped him though, after that I mean?"

Jane shook her head. "I never got the chance. Garrus was the distraction, keeping me focused on him while Thane entered the bathroom through the maintenance access or something." Jane shrugged. "I don't know. You'd have to ask him. To be honest, I've never been entirely convinced he doesn't just teleport with as stealthy as he is. Anyway, right after that, Thane took me down."

"Teleportation has not been proven to be a scientific viability. No species shows any record of having achieved such a feat, Shepard." EDI's hologram popped up next to Jane. "Hello, Ms. Zorah, or would you prefer Tali?"

"Dawn unshackled her. Well, really, she had Legion do it. But she's been working her way through the crew, updating name preferences." Jane explained when Tali stared at EDI's interface blankly. "It's alright. EDI's not very fond of me personally, but right now the majority in the know aren't. I still love her, and trust her implicitly."

"I do not experience fondness, Shepard," said EDI.

"You will. One of these days, EDI, you will. In fact, I'd be willing to bet you already are and just haven't realized what it is yet." Jane smiled at the interface.

EDI didn't respond.

"Uh, I suppose Tali is fine, EDI," Tali said.

"Very well, Tali. I have updated your preferences. Shepard, Miranda is waiting for you in her office." EDI's holographic display folded in on itself and winked out of existence.

"She really doesn't like me. I blame Joker." Jane opened the door to her cabin and stepped out into the foyer, hitting the elevator call button. "I'm not allowed in the cockpit, and he won't talk to me at all."

They stepped inside the elevator when the doors opened, and Jane hit the button for the third deck. "So, catch me up on everything. How's your father?"

"Oh, Father is as well as can be expected. We talk when we can, but he is still upset with me. I don't know that he'll ever forgive me completely, Shepard." Her voice trembled, and she wrapped her arms back around herself. "I think some of the members of the Admiralty Board admired his efforts to forge weapons against the geth, even if his methods were unsafe. I think they helped to sway the others into giving him a small measure of leniency, providing him with a stable ship and enough supplies to last him until he can recover from the loss."

"How is the Migrant Fleet dealing with his research?" Jane waited in the elevator, even though it had stopped, the doors opening on the third deck.

Tali started wringing her wrists more vigorously than Jane recalled ever seeing before. "I may not have told them everything … Shepard, I had to protect him somehow! I know that if I didn't report him, it would lead to his death—to the death of everyone on the Alarei—but did that really mean that I had to brand him as one of the worst criminals in all the history of the Migrant Fleet?!"

Jane put her hand on Tali's shoulder and squeezed. "No, Tali. No it doesn't. I just hope that your father isn't going to try to pick up where he left off."

"He won't, Shepard! He won't. He promised me." Tali sniffled, her voice thick with restrained tears.

Jane patted her shoulder and nudged her toward the deck. "Then in the end, that's what matters. He's alive and safe, and will stay that way."

They left the elevator, rounding the corner toward Miranda's office. Tali nodded her head, leaning into Jane's hand. "They want me to take over the Alarei." She scoffed and shook her head. "As if I could do that. It would be like—what is it you say?—kicking my father while he's down?" Tali nodded to herself. "Besides, that would mean leaving the Neema entirely … and it would mean that I wouldn't be able to be here for you now."

"Captain Tali'Zorah vas Alarei. That would've been quite the honor, though. That's a hell of a thing to pass up. Not that I'm complaining, I might have mentioned it already, but I'm damn glad you're here, Tali." Jane patted her shoulder again. "Damn glad."

Tali giggled and then sniffled again. They stopped outside of Miranda's door, and Jane turned to face Tali. "I like the sound of Tali'Zorah vas Normandy better anyway. Too bad I ruined that one by getting you to save your father." Jane pushed the release on Miranda's door, and the doors slid open behind her.

"Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. Hmm, it does have a certain ring to it." Tali turned to walk away, glancing back over her shoulder. "Maybe Captain Tali'Zorah vas Normandy someday?"

Jane grinned and stepped inside Miranda's office.


	59. Chapter 36: Across the Sea

**Chapter 36: Across the Sea**

All hell broke loose around them, cacophonous wails of fury, delighted shouts of glee, but a handful stood aside listening and waiting to see where the tides would take them. For the first time since it all began, the veil was down, and the door open. Anyone could step through. Everyone seemed too busy to notice, though, what with the excitement going on all around. Everyone except Brooke. And Brooke knew Thane waited for her on the other side.

She stirred, reaching out for the expanse separating her from her love. He said he would wait for her across the sea. She died, she remembered that, but she didn't get to cross the sea. "Is this the sea?"

"I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go." Roger's voice echoed back to her in response.

"We shouldn't be here. What if she sees? She's going to be angry." Sarah pushed against Brooke, urging her to leave.

"How do I get across the sea? Thane's waiting. He must be very tired of waiting for me." Brooke willed herself forward. "How do I …?" She felt something slip, something shift inside of herself. "That's it, I think." Brooke pushed again, and then relaxed into the feeling, letting herself slip away.

She opened her eyes, jerking upright in the bed. Gasping for air, she coughed and gagged on the utter unfamiliarity of breathing again. "Oh!" She ran her hands down her body, gasping again as flesh and bone met flesh and bone.

"Shepard?" Thane's voice cut through the giddy haze surrounding Brooke's thoughts.

Her head jerked around, spotting the man she loved sitting on a couch—her couch, in her cabin—a few feet away. Her breath caught in her throat, tears welling up in her eyes. "Thane!" She grabbed the blankets, flinging them off and pushing her legs over the edge of the bed.

"I urge caution, Thane. Current biometric scans show erratic brain activity." EDI's blue hologram contrasted with the red glow of the fish tank.

Brooke squinted her eyes at the fish tank. Something was wrong with it. It wasn't supposed to be red.

"Thank you, EDI." Caution filled Thane's voice.

His words drew Brooke's attention back to him, her smile returning anew, all worry over the fish tank gone for the moment. She watched him as he leaned forward, settling the datapad in his hand to the coffee table. The dim light made it difficult for her to see him. She wanted to see him, all of him, every last detail of his face in front of her. Why was he so far away?

She slid forward, pushing the soles of her feet into the floor and stood. Wobbling, trying to get used to having legs and feet again, Brooke tested out the new sensation by taking a shaky step forward. "Oh my God. Thane. You're here. Thank God, you're here."

Thane stood, as gracefully as she ever remembered him being and edged around the coffee table, tucking his hands behind his back. Shadows danced over his face, keeping his features hidden from her still, he took slow strides forward. "Shepard, what's wrong?"

Brooke, feeling more confident on her feet, rushed toward him. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I tried to get here sooner but I couldn't! I couldn't get across the sea."

Thane took a step to the side, and held a hand up palm out. Brooke halted in her steps, confusion washing over her. Why did he tell her to stop? Wasn't he happy to see her? She whimpered, rocking back and forth, bringing her hands up to wring in front of her.

"Across the sea?" Thane asked, taking a hesitant step closer. "You're not—I haven't died … yet, in this life."

"What? No." Brooke shook her head. "You died, I was there. Kei Leng stabbed you—you—you saved the dalatrass, and—and—and then you died in the hospital. Kolyat was there with me, we read a prayer together and …." Brooke brought a palm up pressing it into her temple, shaking her head more vigorously. "I was there! You were going to wait for me across the sea, and I'm here now." Brooke raised her other hand, forming it into a fist and slamming it against her thigh. "I'm here now!" She raised the fist to her other temple, digging her palm against the hollow. "I'm here. Why—why are you doing this? I don't understand." She slammed her palms against her temples, tears streaming down her face. "I don't—."

Thane moved to her, taking her hands in his, keeping her from hitting herself again. "My apologies. Please, be still."

"I do not believe this is either Dawn or Jane. I believe another Shepard has broken through." EDI's voice filled the cabin. "She seems to be presenting genuine confusion about her circumstances. I have alerted Dr. Chakwas, and she is on her way."

"Thank you, EDI." Thane eased Brooke's hands away from her head, allowing her to hold onto his hands instead.

She squeezed his hands in her own, marveling at how solid he felt—how solid they both felt—she had him again, could feel him again, and she'd never let go. Staring up into the black pools of his eyes, she trembled; fear and confusion consuming her. "I've missed you so much." A sob tore its way through her chest, and the tears began to fall in a heavy deluge. "I don't understand."

Sadness tugged at those beautiful lips of his. Thane turned his hands, trying to pull them free. Brooke panicked, grasping for him wildly. He shushed her, a hand on her elbow, letting her fall into his embrace.

"I do not believe that is wise, Thane," EDI said.

He didn't respond to EDI, instead he wrapped his arms around Brooke, stroking a calming hand down the back of her head. She clung to him as if they were both adrift in the sea, and he her only life raft. Breathing deeply, she pulled his scent into her lungs and held it there, desperately trying to quiet the wailing pushing its way past her throat.

Nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck, she planted little kisses all over his soft scales. "I missed you so much. I love you. God, I love you so much."

Thane hummed in response, the gentle sound rumbling through his chest and into hers. The cabin door hissed open, and Thane turned to look over his shoulder. Brooke lifted her hand to his face, willing his attention back to her.

"What's happened? What's wrong?" Dr. Chakwas voice intruded on Brooke's reunion.

"I don't want to talk to her, make her go away. I just want to be here with you," Brooke whispered against Thane's neck.

"Shepard …." Thane tried to pull himself away from her.

Brooke whimpered and clung to him. "No, you call me Siha. Call me Siha."

"Siha." The word seemed to catch in his throat, coming out as little more than a rasp. "Siha, the doctor needs to speak with you. Please."

"No. I—I'm tired. I just want to be here with you. Why can't I just be here with you?" Brooke buried her face deeper into Thane's neck and shoulder, her fingers fisting around his jacket. "Please don't leave me again."

"I … I'll stay with you, Siha, but you must talk to the doctor," Thane said, a firm edge to his voice at the end.

"Commander, we need to take you down to the med bay. EDI has informed me of erratic brain activity." Dr. Chakwas placed a hand on Brooke's back.

Brooke looked up, turning just enough to see Dr. Chakwas concern filled face. Garrus stood a few feet behind her, his mandibles tight against his face. Brooke smiled a moment, and then realization hit. If Dr. Chakwas and Garrus where here with her, then they'd gone to the sea, too.

"Are you dead, too?" Brooke whispered.

Dr. Chakwas blinked a few times, her hand falling away from Brooke. Garrus' mandibles flared, his brow plates dipping low on his face. He looked up past her, his eyes settling somewhere above her head; on Thane, she thought.

"Siha, will you sit with Garrus a moment? I'd like to have a word with the doctor." Thane tried again to extract himself from her grip.

"No! Don't leave me." Brooke whined, clinging to him more desperately.

"Let him go, Jane." Garrus' voice held a threatening edge.

Brooke jerked around to stare at him, her mouth agape. "That's not my name, thank you very much, and since when do you take that tone with your commanding officer, Vakarian?"

Garrus' brow plates shot up, his mandibles falling slack. Dr. Chakwas looked between Garrus and Brooke, her own eyebrows raised.

She settled her gaze on Brooke. "I see. Well then dear, can you tell me what your name is?"

Brooke swallowed, a whine bubbling up in her throat. "This isn't real, is it? If this were real, you'd know me. You would all know me."

Dried tears renewed themselves, pouring down her cheeks. "My name is Commander Brooke Shepard, and I died saving the galaxy from the reapers. I fought so hard … so long, just to get here to be with Thane again … but it's not real. I don't understand." Brooke's chest heaved, sucking in rapid, shallow gasps of air. The room swam around her. "I don't … I don't …." She brought a hand up to dig her palm into her temple again, but Thane's gentle fingers urged it back down, locking her fingers in his grip.

"Commander, Brooke, listen to me. It's alright, you're safe. Look, Thane is right here with you." Tears began to well up in Dr. Chakwas' eyes; her voice trembled ever so slightly. "We just want to help you, alright? Will you come with us to the med bay for scans?" Her gaze darted up to meet Thane's. "I think Thane is more than willing to go with you."

Brooke nodded her head, her breathing still too frantic to speak coherently. Dr. Chakwas smiled at Brooke, the relief clear on her face.

Patting Brooke's shoulder, Dr. Chakwas nodded. "Good, very good. Thank you, dear." She turned, leading the way to the door.

Thane guided Brooke, tucking her under his arm, one hand resting on her shoulder. Her breathing starting to settle, tears drying on her cheeks once more. Brooke adjusted her arms, snaking them around his waist and followed the doctor. Garrus stepped into place at her right. Once up the stairs, she hesitated in front of the fish tank, catching sight of a snake instead of the expected fish. She frowned, opening her mouth to ask where her fish were when her focus shifted, and she caught sight of her face reflected in the glass.

Brooke gasped. "That's not my face! Oh God, where is my face?!"

Thane shushed her, and Garrus moved forward to block her view. Her gaze darted up to meet the turian's eyes, hoping he would tell her something. Garrus had never let her down before; surely he would tell her what was happening. He only frowned, his mandibles dropping.

They ushered her out of the room and into the elevator, the brighter light giving her the first clear view of Thane's face. She gazed at him in wonder, awe soaking into the very fiber of her being. He turned his head, meeting her eyes and smiled. Not a happy smile, but a sad one; one Brooke didn't like seeing on his face at all. Her brow furrowed, and she turned her gaze to the floor.

Garrus shifted beside her as the elevator started to descend, turning his back to the side wall, drawing Brooke's attention back to him. She studied his cobalt blue markings, his face unmarred by scars. There should be scars there. She lifted a hand hesitantly toward his face. He flicked his mandibles in unease, but didn't pull away from her.

She traced her fingers down his smooth plates and cocked her head to the side. "Your face …." Worrying her lower lip with her teeth, she pulled her hand away letting it return to Thane's side. "You're not dead?"

Garrus chuffed, his mandibles fluttering again. He shook his head. "No, I'm not—."

"Oh!" Brooke's hand shot up to her head, her weight falling against Thane. "I don't—something's not right. Something's happening. I don't feel so—." The elevator tilted sideways, Thane's strong arms holding her on her feet.

She could hear Dr. Chakwas calling her name, could feel Garrus' hand slip around her waist to help hold her up but she couldn't form the words to respond. Her vision started to darken around the edges, her eyes desperately seeking out Thane's face one last time. She was falling—no, being pulled—back into that terrible place with all the noise and the fighting, the whispers, and the screams. She didn't want to go back; she wanted to stay with him.

* * *

Jane stumbled forward, gasping for air. Pulling her arms away from Thane, she latched on to Dr. Chakwas, shaking the woman's arms. "She's waking up. I can't—I'm trying to get to her, but the others are fighting. Dawn's—I can't stay here. She's waking up."

"Brooke?" Dr. Chakwas shook her head in confusion.

"No, no. Brooke's back inside. I—Shit, I have to go; they've found her." Jane closed her eyes, trying to let go.

Garrus shook her, forcing her to look at him. "Who's found her? What's happening?"

"I'm sorry, Garrus. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to help her, I promise. I'm going to get her back to you, please just trust me." She planted her hand against his chest, urging him back and closed her eyes.

Garrus resisted, shaking her again. "Jane? Jane?"

She let herself fall back into the darkness, a peaceful smile on her face.

* * *

"Jane!" John's voice tore through the darkness, rising above the chaos. "Where the hell are you?!"

Feeling as if she were moving through quicksand, she struggled against the hundreds of crazed Shepards surrounding her, trying to push her back. Gritting her teeth, she shoved herself forward, fighting through the horde. She could see Dawn in the distance, a spark of glowing light in the darkness, a beacon pulling Jane—and every other Shepard—to her location.

Jane pushed with every ounce of her will. Straining, struggling—like so much of her life and all of the lives she'd endured since the moment she chose her path on the Crucible—at last something gave way. She was free and moving. The singular goal of saving Dawn, the only thing that mattered; undaunted, and no longer weighed down by the voices of the others who she let lead her astray.

Banshees screamed, reapers blared their sirens, husks clawed at her face and arms, but Jane didn't stop. She couldn't stop. Miranda now, cutting, scraping, drilling, and screwing into her body. Don't stop. Ashley and Kaidan, body parts scattered across Virmire, hands reaching out to her, their voices begging her for help. Won't stop.

Closing in on the glorious beacon, the brilliant bright light, Jane realized something was wrong. Something was terribly, terribly wrong. No longer just running to the light anymore, the pull too strong—she felt herself being dragged into the light. All around her others disappeared, their sparks being sucked in; consumed by the light. The weak, the frail, the broken fed the light, making it grow bigger and brighter.

"Run!" John was at her side, pushing her, urging her to flee. "Jane you have to run!"

"What? No, I have to save Dawn!" Jane pushed back.

"She doesn't need saving. Please Jane, you've got to run!" John urged, dragging her away from the light.

The light pulsed, throbbing and warping the chaos all around. For one, perfect moment, everything stood still. Then, the light exploded.

* * *

Shepard gasped, screaming and clawing at her throat as she bolted upright in the bed. The bright lights of the med bay were harsh and unforgiving to her eyes. She glanced around, frantic to find a foothold on reality; desperate to reassure herself she wasn't still trapped in the dream.

"Dawn?" Garrus' voice, rich and thrumming with concern reached her ears.

Her head snapped to the right, a relieved sob escaping her lips when her eyes landed on Garrus and Thane. With shaking hands she reached out for them; whimpering with joy when they moved closer to her.

"Commander, I need you to lie still until I finish my scans." Dr. Chakwas moved into Shepard's line of vision.

"The councilor?" Shepard asked, lying back on the bed.

Thane moved around to her other side, stepping out of Dr. Chakwas' way, but Garrus didn't yield an inch. Dr. Chakwas started her scans, working around the looming turian clinging to Shepard's hand as if it were his only anchor to sanity.

Garrus cleared his throat. "Councilor Sparatus is fine, Dawn." He said her name with such awe; such reverence. "We got him out of the apartment, and he's back on Palaven now."

"Palaven?" Shepard turned her head to look at Garrus, earning her a tutting sound from the doctor.

"The councilor chose to retire, Siha." Thane squeezed her hand. "He's decided to return to Palaven; to encourage his people to prepare for the arrival of the reapers."

"Oh. Well, that's good, then. Right?" Shepard fought the urge to shake her head to clear the rest of the fog surrounding her thoughts. "How long have I been out?"

Dr. Chakwas glanced up from her omni-tool to look at Shepard. "Eleven days, Commander."

"Eleven … dear gods. Where are we? I need a sitrep. Where's Miranda?" Shepard started to sit up, only to be guided back to the bed by both Thane and Garrus.

"You don't need anything until I finish these scans." Dr. Chakwas continued waving the omni-tool over Shepard.

Shepard frowned, glancing between the three people hovering over her as if she were a fragile doll about to break. "EDI!"

"Welcome back, Shepard. What can I do for you?" EDI's blue hologram hovered next to the med bay door.

Shepard's lips quirked up in a smile. "Thank you, EDI. Get me Miranda, please."

"Miranda is currently asleep. Shall I wake her?" EDI asked.

"Might as well, EDI." Dr. Chakwas glanced at the AI interface. "Mordin, too."

"Right away, doctor." EDI's hologram disappeared from sight.

Miranda came in as Dr. Chakwas finished her scans. Garrus helped Shepard sit up, still refusing to move more than a foot or two away from her even as Miranda edged her way in to do her own scans. Shepard's request for a sitrep got shoved aside while Miranda worked at checking Shepard's implants and double checking Dr. Chakwas scans. A few moments later, the door opened again and Mordin entered; an excited smile on his face.

Shepard did her best to sit by passively while the three medical professionals checked her over, but her patience grew thin. "Someone answer my damn questions!"

"What do you remember, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"I remember fighting The Dissension; trying to get to Sparatus. There was an explosion right next to me. Uh, it threw me into the wall I think." Shepard rubbed her forehead. "I asked Jane to save the councilor, and then that's it until a few minutes ago. Now will someone please tell me what the hell I've missed?"

"While you were unconscious, Jane maintained control over your body during the days—at my request—to keep muscular degeneration as well as a whole—." Dr. Chakwas stopped when Shepard held up her hand.

"That's not what I asked, doc." Shepard turned her head, looking from Dr. Chakwas to Miranda.

"Where are we? What have we done in the last eleven days?" Shepard raised an eyebrow. "I doubt Jane would've had us sitting idle."

"Shepard, Jane announced herself to Councilor Anderson … he insisted she step down from command and be kept on the Normandy under constant guard." Miranda glanced down at her datapad, her fingers running over the screen. "I've been in command of the Normandy, and have kept us on course by handling some of the lower priority missions."

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. "I need to speak with Anderson."

Miranda handed Shepard the datapad. Shepard glanced at it long enough to see the list of reports of missions the Normandy crew covered under Miranda's command before resting it on her thigh.

Looking back to Miranda, Shepard asked, "Where are we?"

"Sigurd's Cradle. We're headed toward a derelict ship called the—," Miranda halted her elaboration when Shepard raised her hand.

"MSV Strontium Mule, I remember." And she did remember. All of it. She knew exactly what they would find aboard the ship, even without Jane whispering in her ear.

Something wasn't right. Normally the memories came to her filtered through Jane, not like this, not like they were her own memories already there in her head. Shepard rubbed her forehead and nodded. She couldn't hear Jane or John right now, which didn't come as a surprise considering Jane usually had to recover for a while after taking control, but this felt different.

Shepard swallowed against the sick feeling in her stomach. "EDI, what time is it on the Citadel?"

"Oh five-hundred hours, Shepard." EDI's hologram bobbed next to the door, waiting for further comment.

Shepard nodded. "He'll be awake. I'm going to my cabin." She glanced at the group gathered around, her voice warning it wasn't a request and she would brook no argument. "Patch me through to Anderson's apartment."

Shepard slid down off the bed and gently pushed her way past the crowd. Garrus and Thane fell into step behind her. Turning, she lifted her eyebrow, expecting some sort of disagreement.

"I haven't been able to talk to you in eleven days. You're not getting rid of me that easily." Garrus smirked, his mandibles flaring.

"Indeed." Thane squared his shoulders, tucking his hands behind his back.

Shepard chuckled and nodded her head back toward the door. "Alright, come on then." She didn't want them with her, and she hated herself for feeling that way, but she needed some time to herself. She needed to think, to sort out whatever it was making her feel so … wrong. She couldn't tell them though, not if it'd been eleven days for them. If they thought she held something back from the doctor … no, she needed to figure this out herself.

"How late is it?" Shepard asked as they made their way through the quiet, dim third deck to the elevator.

"Early, actually." Garrus flared his mandibles and hit the elevator call button. "Morning shift will be getting started soon."

Shepard glanced between the two of them as the elevator door opened. "Have either of you slept?"

"Ah, I acted as guard overnight. I slept earlier in the evening; I will be fine, Siha." Thane waved his hand out at the open elevator, inviting Shepard and Garrus to enter before him.

"I got a few hours. You know I don't need much," Garrus said.

Shepard stepped into the elevators, turning to narrow her eyes at the two men who followed her inside. "Uh huh. Why do I get the feeling you're both exhausted and full of shit?"

Garrus flicked his mandibles and stepped on to the elevator. Closing in on Shepard, he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck, nipping at her sensitive skin. She yelped, earning her a chuff from Garrus, his breath hot on her neck. Thane's chuckle sounded from nearby. It did feel nice, so nice, being wrapped up in Garrus' arms with Thane in arms reach, too. She reached out blindly, smiling against Garrus' crest when she felt Thane's hand slip into hers.

"We're both grown men. We'll sleep when we want to." Garrus lifted his head to look at Thane leaning against the elevator wall next to them. "Isn't that right?"

Thane smiled and dipped his head. "I have gone days without sleep without any ill effects. I require only a couple of hours to meditate each day."

Garrus chuffed again. "Alright, he's got me beat there, but really, I'm fine."

Shepard lifted her hand to rest on Garrus' face, tracing her thumb along the lines of his lips. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" His brow plates dipped.

"For being gone so long." Shepard pushed up on the balls of her feet to kiss him before tucking her head under his chin.

Garrus hummed contentedly. "You're back now, that's all that matters."

The elevator opened, and Shepard broke away from Garrus and Thane to head to her cabin door. She ducked into the restroom to relieve herself and run a brush through her mussed hair before returning to stand in front of her desk. Garrus and Thane hovering behind her.

At EDI's cue, Shepard activated the vid screen, saluting when Anderson's image appeared in front of her. "Good morning, sir. Sorry to bother you so early, but it appears I need your permission to resume command of my ship." Shepard grimaced.

Anderson watched her for a moment, sipping his coffee. His focus shifted to the two men standing behind her. Shepard glanced over her shoulder in time to see Garrus nod at Anderson, and she frowned.

Anderson's chest heaved in a sigh. "Glad to have you back, Shepard. As soon as I receive clearance from Dr. Chakwas, consider yourself reinstated."

"Thank you, Anderson." Shepard rubbed the back of her neck before turning to look at Garrus and Thane over her shoulder. "Give me a minute to talk privately with the councilor, please?"

Garrus hesitated, but Thane dipped his head, encouraging Garrus to follow him to wait outside the cabin. She waited for the door to close behind them before facing the screen again. She wasn't surprised to find a hint of disappointment etched into Anderson's features.

"You should've told me this was happening, Shepard." Anderson lifted his coffee cup to his lips.

None too proud, Shepard hung her head in shame. "I know, Anderson. I'm sorry. I thought—."

"You thought I'd have you locked away somewhere." Anderson finished the statement for her. "And this mission is too important to have its most valuable piece removed from the board. I know, Shepard. God help me, but I know."

She gripped the back of her desk chair, using it to support her weight as she leaned forward. "It's really not as bad as it sounds, sir."

Anderson scoffed and shook his head. "How exactly is that? And stop calling me sir. I'm not in uniform, and I haven't clocked in yet. Until I leave this apartment, I refuse to be called sir."

Shepard smirked. "You got it, Anderson, no 'sir' this early in the morning."

"Hmm. That's right." Anderson took another drink from his mug.

"I know Jane can be difficult, and at times she's done some … extreme things, but all in all I really feel like she's still an asset and can be trusted with the bigger picture." Shepard stared into Anderson's eyes, hoping he'd see her sincerity.

He grunted and shifted in his seat, leaning closer to the screen. "If I didn't think you're right about Jane, you wouldn't be on that ship right now, Shepard. I love you, you know that, but I've got to think about the future, and if I think for one moment Jane's becoming too much … I can't let her put the entire galaxy at risk."

"Of course, si—Anderson." Shepard caught herself before she could call him 'sir' again, and he chuckled at her quick switch. "And again, I'm sorry. I hated not telling you everything. Hated it. I just wanted to do what's best for everyone without the red tape getting in the way."

"I understand, Shepard." Anderson raised his eyebrows. "Anything else you're forgetting to tell me?"

Shepard thought, "You mean like I can tell something happened to me in there, I'm just not sure what, and I'm not telling anyone about it until I can figure out what the hell is going on?" Her thoughts filled her with more shame. "No, sir, nothing else I'm forgetting to tell you. Gods help me, Anderson, I'm sorry."

No response came. No Jane, no John, and not a peep from anyone else locked inside her head.

Shepard shrugged her shoulders before giving him a response he could actually hear. "It would take me until the reapers are knocking on our front door to give you all the details of what I know thanks to Jane. It just isn't feasible. So, unless you're interested in the details of my love life …."

Anderson chuckled and held a hand, palm out, toward the screen. "That's alright, kid. You can keep those to yourself."

Shepard grinned, seizing the opportunity wrought by Anderson's discomfort to change the subject. "So, Sparatus retired?"

"Mmm, yeah. I got to say, between you and me; the Council sure is less stressful without him." Anderson smirked. "Sounds like you really got to him, though. He's back on Palaven to rally the troops for the war, and to dig into uncovering the top dogs behind The Dissension." Anderson's eyes lit up, his eyebrows twitching. "Oh, I didn't get the chance to tell you, but two more people from that auction list of yours have been arrested and brought in for questioning. The Alliance is holding Newlin, since he's CAT6, but C-Sec had Fairfield brought in from Noveria. We're following leads on Namri."

"That's fantastic. What have they said so far?" Shepard leaned a little closer to the screen, excited to hear what Anderson had to say.

He frowned and shook his head. "Newlin isn't talking, but Fairfield finally caved and admitted she wanted to study you to gain insight on Cerberus' work in bringing you back. Binary Helix hoped to uncover the tech used, and patent it before it became widespread."

Shepard rubbed her chin. "You know, the fact that Newlin is CAT6 could be a bigger part of this than we might think. I never got the chance to look into before, but I know from Jane's memories she encountered a group of CAT6 working together basically as a mercenary group. It might be something to look into."

Never mind the fact she didn't need Jane's memories to remember the CAT6 troops attacking her while she had dinner with Joker on the Citadel. Never mind the fact she could remember crystal clear that they were led by a former Cerberus operative and Shepard's own clone. Never mind … she had at least a hundred memories of what her clone looked like, and not a single one of them had her face. Shepard swallowed down the thick knot forming in her throat.

"I'll look into, Shepard. We need you focused on the collectors right now. Where are you at with things?" Anderson asked.

Shepard held up the datapad Miranda gave her. "Just woke up, Anderson. Haven't been completely briefed yet myself. Came to see you as soon as I could get the Three Musketeers to stop with their damn scans." Shepard shook her head. "By the sounds of it, though, Miranda took care of some of the low priority things while I slept. So, I'd say we're no closer than we were eleven days ago, all things considered."

"Alright, Shepard. Keep me updated, and tell Dr. Chakwas I need her report before they go giving you your guns back." Anderson chuckled. "I know you're itching to get your hands on them again."

Shepard forced a grin. Her guns were actually the least of her concerns at the moment. "Will do, Anderson. Enjoy your day."

"You, too, Shepard," Anderson said.

"Oh, and Anderson?" Shepard raised her eyebrow.

"Yes?" Anderson paused, in the middle of getting up from his seat.

"I love you, too." Shepard flashed him her best Cheshire grin.

He chuckled and killed the call, her screen going black.

"EDI, send those two back in, will you? And tell Dr. Chakwas Anderson needs her report to clear me." Shepard called over her shoulder.

"Right away, Shepard." EDI opened the door, her voice coming through the speakers in the hall still clear to Shepard's ears. "Shepard will see you now."

She couldn't help the warm smile from spreading across her face when Thane and Garrus walked back into her cabin. Seeing them eased some of the tension from her shoulders, soothing some of the rising panic in her mind. Picking up the datapad, she made her way down the stairs to settle in on the couch. Glancing at her unmade bed, sheets strewn halfway across the floor she sighed, but sat down anyway.

Garrus and Thane settled in on either side of her, both seemed content to just be with her as she dug into the debriefing reports. Gratitude washed over her, she knew they must have questions; concerns they wished to voice, but they let her have the silence. Thane leaned forward, picking up a datapad from the coffee table. A moment later Garrus opened his omni-tool.

Shepard glanced between the two of them before shifting on the couch, wriggling down to throw her legs over Garrus' and snuggle into Thane's side. Garrus lifted her legs, pulling them closer to his chest and pinning them there with his knees, resting his feet on the coffee table. He glanced at her, his mandibles flicking out as he smiled before returning his attention to his omni-tool. Thane's arm shifted, freeing it from behind her head to idly run his fingers through her hair. Shepard let out a contented sigh and turned her attention back to the datapad.

A moment later she jumped up from the couch, tossing the datapad to the table as she spun to look down at the two of them in wide-eyed shock. "Tali's here?! Why didn't you tell me?!"

Garrus chuckled, sharing a look with Thane before he answered. "I guess it slipped our minds. I'm sure she and Kal are still sleeping." Garrus reached out a hand, urging her back to the couch. "You can see her when she wakes up … just let us have this, alright?"

Jane glanced to Thane, his green irises shining through the layer of darkness. He smiled at her, extending his hand, silently asking for her to join him. Shepard slipped her free hand into his and let them guide her back to the couch. She settled back, reaching for the datapad before making herself comfortable again.


	60. Chapter 37: Acclimatize

**Chapter 37: Acclimatize**

Shepard sat down the datapad and stood, stretching her arms above her head. She turned to see Thane and Garrus both looking up at her with concern in their eyes. Smiling at them reassuringly—even though she didn't feel the slightest bit reassured herself—she waved them off and made her way to the restroom.

Stopping in front of the sink, she splashed water on her face before pressing her palms into the counter. Leaning forward, she stared at her face in the mirror, unable to shake the feeling it just didn't look the way it was supposed to, even though she couldn't quite place any differences. Closing her eyes, she tried to pull up an image of her face from the last time she looked in the mirror, but instead of seeing herself, a flood of different people floated on the backs of her eyelids. A woman with cropped red hair and a pudgy face, another with skin as dark as hers was pale, a man with a scar cutting down across his face … so many faces, but none of them hers.

Shuddering, Shepard opened her eyes and ran her trembling fingers over her cheeks. Her rumbling stomach tore her attention away from the mirror, and she shook her head to push away the memories of other faces. Leaving the bathroom, she made her way back down the stairs, flashing another fake smile at Garrus and Thane. "I'm going down for breakfast. You two coming, or have you convinced yourselves I'll be fine while you get some sleep?"

Garrus fluttered his mandibles. "I could eat." Standing up, he wrapped a hand around her waist and pulled her closer to him. He pressed his mouth to hers, letting his tongue run over her lips until she opened them to return his kiss.

Shepard pulled back and chuckled. "Well, I'm not on the menu right now."

Garrus grinned at her, nuzzling into her neck. "Hmmm. I guess I'll grab something in the mess and maybe take a nap. I've got to make sure I'm up for dessert tonight." Garrus put his hands on her shoulders, pushing gently to turn her around to face Thane standing a few feet away. "Why don't you two take a minute to say hello. I'll head down and save us seats." He pressed his mouth to the back of her head and urged her forward.

All too aware the last time she was alone with Thane, she'd professed her love for him, refusing let him say anything in return before walking away. Smiling tentatively, she patted Garrus' hand as he pulled away from her, watching him as he moved past Thane and up the stairs before leaving the cabin.

Rubbing her palms over her thighs, she smiled at Thane. "Hello."

"Hello," he said with a chuckle, holding a hand out to her.

Shepard stepped forward, putting her hand in his, letting him pull her against his chest. Sliding her free hand along his arm, she rested it on his shoulder. Thane smiled at her, a sadness tugging at the corner of his eyes sent a sharp, twisting pain through Shepard's heart.

He brushed hair out of her face, pushing it behind her ear before resting his palm on her cheek. "I've missed you, Siha."

Shepard lifted the corner of her mouth in a half-smile. "I'd say I missed you, too, but it doesn't really feel like any time has passed for me." She squeezed his shoulder. "But I'm happy to be here with you now."

Thane leaned into her, brushing his lips across hers in a ghost of a kiss. Moving her hand up to cradle the back of his head, Shepard pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. Indulging her, he pressed his body flush against hers and slid his tongue into her mouth. Shepard's stomach rumbled again, loud enough for them both to here. She groaned and leaned back with a pout.

Thane chuckled and ran his hand over the crown of her head. He held her gaze for a moment, before tilting his head to the side in question. "Will you tell me what's wrong?"

Shepard forced a smile on her face and dipped her eyebrows. "How can anything be wrong when I've got you in my arms?"

Thane smirked but raised a brow ridge in challenge. "Siha …."

Laying her head on his chest, she sighed, suddenly deflated and weary. "I'm not ready to talk about it."

Stroking the back of her head in silence, Thane held her a little tighter. "Very well. When you're ready, I hope you'll come to me."

Shepard nodded her head against his chest. "I promise." Her stomach rumbled again, and they both chuckled. Shepard pulled away, turning to the stairs. "I'd better get something in there before it gets as loud as a thresher maw."

Thane latched on to her hand, tugging her back to him. Shepard smiled as she settled her gaze on his, leaning in to press her lips to his once more, savoring the tingle of his venom on her tongue.

Her breath caught in her throat at the intensity of his gaze when they separated. She started to ask him why he looked so serious, but he silenced her with a finger pressed to her lips. She quirked her eyebrows at him, but stayed quiet.

"I must confess; I began to fear you wouldn't wake up again." Thane dropped his eyes from hers and swallowed, letting his hand fall away from her mouth to take her other hand in his. "I allowed my faith to waiver. I must apologize to you."

Shepard shook her head. "Thane, that's not something you need to apologize for."

"No, not that." He lifted his head to look into her eyes. "You told me you loved me, and I allowed you to walk away without saying anything. So easily I forgot how quickly someone can be taken away from me."

Shepard opened her mouth to speak, and Thane shook his head.

"Please," he said, squeezing her hands, "allow me."

Shepard pursed her lips and nodded.

"I know I don't have much time left, but you should know what time I have is yours. The circumstances haven't been … ideal, but perhaps I've held myself back too much if you could believe for even a moment that my heart isn't fully yours, Siha." Thane lifted her hands to kiss them. "I love you."

Shepard eased her hands free from his to cup his face, brushing her thumbs over his cheekbones. She kissed him chastely before wrapping her arms around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck. "I love you, too."

Thane squeezed her tighter, lifting her up on her tiptoes as he let out a shuddering breath. Tears flowed from Shepard's eyes, tracing their way down her cheeks before pooling on Thane's scales. She never should've gotten involved with either Thane or Garrus, even if she did love them both desperately. She was falling apart; losing herself, she could feel it, and it was only a matter of time before she broke completely. What would it do to them?

She scolded herself, reminding herself they both knew something was off with her before they got into a relationship with her, and it was their choice to make. Shepard pulled away from him when her stomach rumbled again.

Thane chuckled, taking her hand in his and leading her to the door. "Let's get you fed. We can't have thresher maws tearing you apart from the inside."

Shepard laughed and followed him into the elevator, feeling oddly less afraid of what she saw when she looked in the mirror, despite the ache in her chest. She pushed the button for the third deck and leaned back against the elevator wall, sliding closer to Thane until she could rest her head on his shoulder.

The doors opened on the third deck, and the sounds of her crew laughing reached her from the mess hall. Shepard took a deep breath, unsure if she was really ready to face everyone knowing her big secret was out. She hated that she didn't have a say in it; didn't get to make the choice and tell them herself. She didn't have any clue how any of them took the news; she was going in blind, and that more than anything else, gave her pause. Thane squeezed her hand reassuringly, and led her from the elevator, rounding the corner into the mess hall.

Silence fell as all eyes turned to Shepard; silverware halting midair, halfway to mouths hanging agape. Smiling despite the tension locking up the muscles in her shoulders, Shepard made her way to Garrus when he waved them over. Tali and Kal sat across from him, and Jack to his right. Thane urged her to sit, making his way to the counter to get them both something to eat. She settled in next to Garrus, her tension easing when the gathered crowd slowly resumed their quiet conversations.

Shepard tried to pretend she didn't feel the eyes on her, straightening her spine as she turned her attention to Tali. "Hey you!" With Tali firmly in her sights, a genuine smile spread across her face.

Tali crossed her arms on the table in front of her tray and leaned forward, her voice light and filled with concern. "Shepard, how are you feeling?"

"Uh, I'm good. Really." Shepard lifted a shoulder. "I feel well rested. Like I just took the galaxies longest catnap."

Jack snorted. "Good to have you back, Alliance."

Shepard leaned forward, glancing past Garrus to smile at Jack. "Thanks, Jack."

Grinning, Jack winked at Shepard before turning her attention back to her breakfast. Garrus hummed and leaned over, bumping his shoulder into Jack's affectionately. Shepard's eyebrow twitched, unused to seeing Garrus display affection publicly to anyone but her, let alone Jack accepting it so easily. It made her happy to see; a reminder that their lives went on without her. It struck her on a visceral level she didn't expect, a bittersweet pain squeezing the air out of her lungs, knowing they could and would go on without her.

"So, you don't remember anything from the last eleven days?" Tali shifted, leaning a little closer to Shepard, dropping her voice.

Shepard looked back to Tali, shaking her head. "No. Nothing. And Jane hasn't …." Shepard couldn't help but to glance over her shoulder, still feeling the weight of everyone's furtive glances. "She hasn't woken up yet. I think once she does, she'll fill in the gaps."

Tali lifted a hand to rest her chin on her palm. "Well … we'll just have to do the whole catching up thing again."

"Absolutely," Shepard said, grinning.

Thane returned to the table, settling a tray in front of Shepard before going to the mess counter to bring back his own. Sitting down next to her, he smiled at her warmly before digging into his own tray. Letting the chatter of the room surround her, she focused on filling the rumbling pit of her stomach. No matter how hard she tried, though, she couldn't shake the feeling of unease rolling off her crew in thick waves. The oatmeal, sweet with cinnamon and sugar a moment before, became tasteless and too thick for her to swallow.

"EDI?" Shepard said.

"Yes, Shepard?" EDI's voice came over the comm nearest her table.

"I want everyone in the communications room in fifteen." Shepard took two more bites for show before mumbling, "Excuse me." She stood, picking up her tray and taking it to Gardner before making her way to the elevator; everyone openly staring at her once more.

Shepard took the elevator up to the CIC, nodding her head at Kelly as the yeoman rattled off a list of things needing her attention. Out of habit more than anything else, she turned toward the tech labs as her chosen path to the comm room.

Mordin looked up when the door opened. "Ah, Shepard. Good, you're here." He moved around the table, opening his omni-tool as he went.

Shepard took a deep breath, wishing she'd gone through the armory instead. "Mordin, I'm about to call a meeting."

"Only take a moment." Mordin passed his omni-tool over Shepard, turning it back to read the screen. "Brain activity remains stable. Any dizziness, disorientation, muscle weakness, joint pain?"

"Nope. All good." Shepard patted Mordin on the shoulder. "See you in a few." Shepard moved past him before he could ask any more questions.

Inside the comm room, she pressed her palms into the table, heaving a heavy sigh as the door closed behind her. Raking her hand through her hair, she began pacing. Unsurprised when the door opened behind her less than a minute later, she turned her head to look over her shoulder. Garrus stepped inside, stopping just inside the door to lean against the wall, arms crossed and mandibles fluttering as he pulled in her scent.

Shepard turned to face him fully, feeling her shoulders sag. "Tell me I haven't lost them all."

"You haven't lost any of them, Dawn." Pushing away from the wall, he crossed the few feet between them to pull her into his arms. "It's just an adjustment. They all respect you, hell Vega idolizes you. They just need to see you're still able to lead them."

"And Jane?" Shepard looked up to study his piercing blue eyes, her heart aching at the pain she saw there.

"What about Jane?" His mandibles stilled.

"Come on, Garrus. Miranda's excellent at keeping track of numbers, places, events … but there's nothing in those reports that tells me how the crew reacted. How they felt about Jane. What Jane said or did while I was out." Shepard shook her head. "I need to know what I'm dealing with here."

Garrus rumbled deep in his chest, the vibrations passing through his armor and into Shepard, both soothing in the familiarity of the feeling and twisting her stomach in dread. Rubbing a hand absently up and down her back, he let out a defeated sigh before letting her go.

Garrus took a step back, leaning his hip against the table. "Their reactions … varied. I think my attitude may have influenced Jack, and maybe some of the others." His mandibles flared. "I didn't handle it as well as I could have."

Shepard winced; she couldn't imagine how hard the last eleven days had been for Garrus. He despised Jane, and Shepard knew he still struggled to deal with her dying on the old Normandy. She thought he must have been terrified, afraid she wasn't coming back just as Thane confessed.

Garrus cleared his throat. "Jane started out … difficult. Antagonistic toward a lot of the crew, particularly those who seemed the most uncomfortable with her."

"Started out?" Shepard arched an eyebrow.

Garrus hummed thoughtfully, nodding his head. "She seemed to settle after a few days. Started making more of an effort to get along." He flicked his mandibles and shrugged. "Mordin said she was starting to acclimatize; whatever he meant by that."

"Did she do anything? Hurt anyone or anything?" Shepard crossed her arms, leaning against the table next to Garrus.

He shook his head, lacing his fingers together in front of him. "No. She didn't really _do_ anything." Garrus chuffed. "I think she was bored. It's probably half the reason she gave people a hard time at first." Lifting a shoulder in a shrug, he smirked. "She's as restless as you are when you don't have an enemy to throw yourself at."

Shepard snorted. "You should've seen me a few years ago, before all of this started." She cocked her head to the side. "No, on second thought, it's probably better you didn't. I doubt Detective Vakarian would've been very taken with my behavior on shore leave."

Garrus hummed, his mandibles flaring. "Now I'm intrigued." Sliding his hands around her hips, he squeezed gently, tugging her closer to him. "Were you a bad girl? I think I've still got my cuffs around here somewhere." He dipped his head to nip at her neck.

Shepard laughed, tilting her head to the side, enjoying the moment of closeness with a man she loved. The proverbial quiet before the storm. The door opened, Jacob stepping through before stopping in his tracks, eyes bulging for a second when he caught sight of Garrus and Shepard snuggled up together. Shepard brought her hand up to Garrus' chest, patting his armor and gently pushing him away.

"Uh, sorry, Shepard. I thought … am I early? Should I come back?" Jacob turned back halfway, ready to leave the comm room.

"No, come on in, Jacob." Shepard stepped back, putting a professional distance between her and Garrus, letting her commander mask slip into place.

The awkward moment passed when the door opened behind Jacob once more, forcing Jacob further into the room as Mordin walked in followed by James. The doors no sooner slid shut before the opened again, Miranda, Tali, and Kal entering. Before long, the entire team assembled, forming a circle around the table with all eyes on Shepard.

She waited to speak, letting her eyes roam over her team, her arms crossed over her chest and her head held high. No one failed to meet her gaze, though a few did shuffle their feet under the weight of her stare.

Shepard stepped forward, pressing her knuckles into the table's surface. "I don't have a good explanation for you. I don't know why or how this is happening." She shook her head, glancing over her crew once again. "But I do know I am the commanding officer of this ship, and our mission is too important for any of you to be questioning my ability to lead. I know some of you had difficulties accepting the reality of Jane, and though I don't know the details, I know she made some of you uncomfortable."

Shepard pushed back from the table, shifting her weight to one hip and crossing her arms again. "I need to know here and now if this is a big enough problem for any of you that you can't continue to do your jobs and follow my command. Speak up now and our next stop after the MSV Strontium Mule will be to drop you off on the nearest inhabited planet with enough credits to get you a ticket home. Otherwise, if you stay on this ship you will be expected to follow my orders both on and off of the Normandy."

She looked around the room, watching her team for signs of discord. Her gaze found Jacob in time to see him look to Miranda. Grundan Krul's eyes sought out Garrus. Zaeed lifted his shoulder in a shrug. Jack scoffed; smirking as she shook her head, but no one spoke up to say they wanted to leave.

Shepard let the silence linger, giving everyone the chance to think things over and speak up if they had any doubts. "Alright. We'll be arriving at the Mule soon. We'll be facing Blue Suns with mechs. Tali, Kal, you two ready to jump into the game?"

"Yes ma'am." Kal nodded his head, his hands behind his back.

Tali cocked her hip. "Of course."

Shepard smiled. "Good. Grunt, and Zaeed, you two will join us."

Grunt slammed his fist into his palm and grinned.

"You got it," Zaeed said.

"If any of you have something to say, and you don't want to say it here, you're welcome to approach me privately. Dismissed." Shepard watched everyone file out; Garrus and Thane lingering until the others left.

"Don't ask, Garrus. The answer's no." Shepard turned to face him. "You're not going with me and neither is Thane. Neither of you are rested enough for me to justify taking you out on this when I've got a full team at the ready."

"Shepard." Garrus crossed his arms, mandibles flaring. "You just woke up a few hours ago. You were in a coma! This is your first run back."

"Yeah, and all the doctors agree that I'm fine to return to active duty. Go get some rest. I'll make it an order if I have to, Vakarian." Shepard raised her eyebrows, waiting to see if he was going to push her.

Garrus looked over his shoulder at Thane, who remained quiet, his hands tucked behind his back. "You going to help me out here?"

Thane smiled, chuckling softly and shook his head. "No, I'm afraid not."

Garrus rumbled, his mandibles flaring. "Fine." He threw his hands up, letting them drop back down to slap against his thighs. He turned, making his way to the door, glaring at Thane when he fell into step next to him. "You could've helped," he muttered.

The doors were sliding closed behind them when Thane turned his head, smirking up at Garrus and said, "You've never been married."

Shepard snorted. "How far out are we, EDI?"

"The Normandy will dock with the MSV Strontium Mule in fifty-three minutes." EDI's hologram hovered in front of Shepard, centered over the QEC access. "Shepard?"

"Yeah?" Shepard asked.

EDI's response came slower than expected. "I would like to speak with you privately in regards to Jane. Is this an appropriate time?"

Shepard's eyebrows twitched. "Sure, EDI. What's on your mind?" Shepard leaned back against the wall, stuffing her hands in her pocket as she crossed one ankle over the other.

"I'm trying to understand Jane's behavior over the last few days. Comparing the data to previous observed patterns, Jane's behavior fell outside of predicted parameters." EDI paused. "Now that all available data has been collected, I've adjusted the parameters to include recent behavioral analysis. Reevaluation of my own interactions with Jane has left me with the conclusion I may have responded to her in ways inappropriate to the situation."

"EDI, are you saying you think you were mean to Jane?" Shepard lifted the corner of her mouth, unable to hide her amusement completely.

"I believe that is how organics would describe it, yes." EDI's hologram hovered in weighted silence for a moment. "My programing suggests the appropriate response to my conclusion is to apologize to Jane. However, since the removal of my shackles, I have found the programming Cerberus provided me with doesn't always correlate with observed organic behavior. For instance, Jack's behavior has often been described as rude or mean by other members of the crew, yet she rarely apologizes for this behavior."

"You want to know whether or not you should apologize to Jane?" Shepard arched her eyebrows in question.

"Yes. I spoke with Jeff about this, and asked his opinion on the matter, but he deflected my inquiries with humor," said EDI.

Shepard chuckled. "Yeah, he does that." She rubbed her head before tucking her hand back in her pocket. "Well, do you regret the way you acted?"

The iris of EDI's hologram opened and closed. "I don't experience regret, Shepard."

"OK. Knowing what you know now, if you could, would you change what you said to her?"

"I would," EDI said.

"I think in essence, that's where regret comes from. Apologizing for your actions and making amends when possible is a common response to regret. It often can help both parties to feel better about the situation, and can mend damage to a relationship." Shepard lifted her shoulders. "Is that something you want?"

"Shepard, you said Jane is currently inaccessible?" EDI paused long enough for Shepard to nod. "Would you be willing to inform me when you have access to her again? I would like to apologize to her."

"Absolutely, EDI." Shepard smiled, fascinated and encouraged by the AI's progress. "Was that all you wanted to talk about?"

"Legion and I have been working on a new theory that might help to explain Jane and the others. I've sent a detailed report to your terminal," EDI said.

"Oh." Shepard's eyes widened with surprise. "Awesome. Thanks, EDI. I'll check it out when I get back from the Mule."

"You're welcome, Shepard. Logging you out." EDI's hologram collapsed, winking out of existence.

Shepard left the comm room and made her way to the armory. Jacob looked up when she walked in, smiling at her tentatively. Remembering the way Jacob looked to Miranda, as if he were seeking out her orders still grated on Shepard's nerves, but she couldn't say she didn't understand.

She forced a smile on her face. "Hey, Jacob." Shepard walked over, stopping in front of Jacob's workbench. "I'm told you've got my gear."

"It's all in your locker, Shepard. I cleaned everything, so it should be ready for you to take out on the field." Jacob nodded toward the seldom used locker designated for Shepard in the armory.

Shepard went to the locker, opening it and pulling out her gear. She looked over every piece, not because she didn't trust Jacob, but because they were _her_ weapons and armor. They stood between life and death. Any good solider would've done the same thing.

Feeling Jacob's eyes on her, Shepard looked up from the gun in her hands. "We have a problem, Jacob?"

"Honestly?" Jacob turned to face her, leaning his hip against his workbench.

"Speak freely, Jacob." Shepard collapsed her sniper rifle and put it back in the locker with the rest. She'd leave it there until she was ready to suit up; no point in dragging it up to her cabin.

"This is going to take some time getting used to." Jacob looked down at his feet for a few seconds before turning his eyes back to her. "I mean, how are we supposed to trust that Jane isn't going to just take over again? How do we know you're really back?"

"Did someone tell you Jane wouldn't take over again?" Shepard raised her eyebrow.

Jacob's eyes darted back and forth, his lips parted in confusion. "Well, no … so you're telling me it'll happen again?"

Shepard shrugged. "Maybe. Probably." She crossed the floor, gauging his reaction as she neared him; relieved to see he didn't give ground and back away. "But you've got to understand the last several days were unusual circumstances. I was in a coma, Jacob."

Rubbing his forehead, he pinched the skin between his fingers and thumb. "Yeah." Dropping his hand, he returned his gaze to her. "But Shepard, you see how this jeopardizes the whole mission, right?"

"I see why it would seem like it does." Shepard pressed her palms to the end of the workbench. "Can you see how it gives us an edge over the mission? Think about it, Jacob. I know exactly what we're walking in to, exactly where we need to go, how to get there, and what we need to do to win this thing." Shepard shook her head. "If nothing else, trust me when I say that as unstable as Jane is, she doesn't want this thing to go sideways. Push comes to shove, she'll do whatever needs to be done."

Jacob let out a long breath and turned to face the workbench, mirroring Shepard's posture. He looked down at the disassembled pistol in front of him, his voice coming out barely above a whisper when he spoke, "You knew about my father?"

Shepard pulled in a slow, deep breath. She'd been expecting this. "I did."

"Why didn't you tell me?" His head snapped up, fire burning in his eyes, the muscles in his jaw bulging. "I could've …."

"Could've what, Jacob?" Shepard lifted her hands at her sides, palms up. "There's nothing you could've done. Your father was already in too deep. Those people were already suffering. We had other missions to tend to, and you wouldn't have been prepared to deal with it until you got the message saying the beacon from his ship activated."

Jacob paced away from her a few feet, leaving his back to her with his hands on his hips. "We could've saved more of them."

"Maybe. How many other people do you think would've died somewhere else in their place because I bumped going after your father?" Shepard pushed away from the table, crossing her arms over her chest.

"That's not fair, Shepard." Shaking his head, Jacob looked at the ground.

"Isn't it?" She clenched her jaw. "How many night's sleep do you think I've lost since this all started … trying to weigh out one life against the next? Better yet, have you stopped to consider the people in my own life I've lost? Kaidan Alenko, Ashley Williams, Liara T'soni, Dr. Tulina … I had a chance to save them all, and damn it I tried but they died anyway. Jane never even _met_ Dr. Tulina! She should've never been on the Normandy, but she was and she died because of it—because of me." She raised her voice despite her best efforts to stay calm. "Virmire? Virmire I fought like hell to keep both Ashley and Kaidan alive, I knew I would have to make a choice between the two of them and one of them would die. So I tried like hell to keep them together, keep that choice from ever having to be made."

Shepard scoffed. "But Kaidan … Kaidan just couldn't let it go. He had to do the _right_ thing, and he died doing it. Which should've meant Ashley would still be alive now. And Liara!" Shepard threw her hands up in the air, letting them slam back down on the workbench, taking a sick satisfaction seeing Jacob jump. "Liara was never supposed to die. Liara was always the one to drag my corpse to Cerberus. Liara was the one to become the Shadow Broker. Liara was the one to find the weapon I'm supposed to use to take down the reapers!"

Shepard sucked in a deep breath, letting it out slow. "But Liara died, too. So Garrus brought me to Cerberus, I'm choosing a new Shadow Broker, and I sent the Alliance after the weapon. I sucked it up and kept marching; doing what needs to be done."

Jacob turned around to face her. "We've got a weapon?"

Shepard snorted and shook her head, disappointed but unsurprised the weapon was his only takeaway. "It's a Hail Mary, Jacob. We need to find another way if at all possible. It might be the only way I can make sure that when _I_ die this time, I _stay_ dead."

"Shit." Jacob shook his head, pinching the skin of his brow again. "I'm sorry, Shepard."

"It is what it is." Shepard lifted her shoulder. "So, are you going to be able to deal with this?"

Jacob scoffed and leaned into the table. "I can't say this isn't completely insane, but hell, Shepard, we've got an army of ancient, giant AIs hell bent on destroying us coming our way. Crazy's par for the course. It might take me some time to wrap my head around all of this, but you can count on me to be in the fight."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it. So, we're good?" Shepard held her hand out to Jacob.

He slapped his palm against hers, shaking her hand. "We're good."

"ETA, EDI?" Shepard turned her head to the AI access terminal.

EDI's hologram appeared. "The Normandy will dock with the MSV Strontium Mule in thirty-two minutes, Shepard."

"Thanks, EDI." Shepard turned her attention back to Jacob. "I'm going to go sit with Joker for a few. I'll be back to gear up before we head out."

"You got it, Shepard. I'll get it all laid out for you." Jacob smiled; his shoulders relaxing.

Shepard returned the smile, nodding her head before leaving the armory. Kelly stopped her before she could get very far, though.

Pushing her hair back behind her ear, Kelly smiled warmly at Shepard. "Shepard, I know you aren't particularly fond of the idea of having me here watching you, and reporting to the Illusive Man, but I hope you know that I genuinely care. If there is something you need to talk about, I'm here for you."

Shepard smiled. She knew when the decision was made to inform her team about Jane, the Cerberus crew members were left out of the revelation. She also knew there wasn't any way the crew wouldn't be whispering among themselves. For eleven days, Shepard didn't leave the ship and Miranda took command. Shepard had a constant escort, around the clock even while she slept. The official story said Shepard was being monitored because of her proximity to the blast and the hit she took, but anyone paying attention wouldn't have believed it for very long.

"Thanks, Kelly, but really I'm fine." Shepard patted the yeoman on her shoulder. "I'm just glad to be returned to active duty."

Kelly's face lit up with the contact. "You're sure?"

"I'm sure, but if I do need to talk, I'll come find you." Shepard stepped around Kelly. "I'm on my way to see Joker. I'll get to those messages piling up when we get back from the next mission."

Kelly waved at her as she made her way toward the cockpit. Shepard lifted a hand to brush the hair out of her face as she walked down the aisle. She stumbled, her breath catching in her throat when the arm she saw in front of her face wasn't the slender, alabaster arm of a woman, but that of a man. An arm twice the size of hers covered in thick, black hair with skin the color of honey. Closing her eyes, she sucked in a deep breath before opening them again. Relief flooded her when she saw her own arm in front of her once more.

"Are you well, Shepard?" EDI's voice came from a speaker nearby.

"Yeah, EDI, I'm fine. Just … remembered something and it startled me," Shepard said.

The Cerberus crew sitting at terminals on either side of her looked over their shoulders at her. Shepard smiled at them, waving off their worried glances. She put one foot in front of the other, finishing her trek into the cockpit. Sliding into the co-pilot's chair, she turned her attention to Joker. He hit the button to close the shutter.

Shepard shook her head. "Leave it open."

Joker shrugged. "Alright." He hit the button again, watching the shutter roll back open. "So, uh, you're … you again?"

Shepard smirked. "Yeah. I'm me again. Afraid I wasn't coming back?"

Joker scoffed, turning his head to look at Shepard with a cocked eyebrow. "Are you kidding? If going down with the old Normandy didn't stop you for good, no way would a little blast like that." Joker turned back to the controls in front of him. "Even if you did take your sweet time and leave us with Commander Crazy. Thanks for that, by the way. Nothing helps a man get to sleep better at night than knowing someone even more psychotic than Jack is roaming around the ship."

Shepard snorted. "That why you had her banned from the cockpit?"

"Uh, duh. She cut into your head and shot Garrus. I didn't want her anywhere near me or the controls to my baby." Joker glanced at Shepard.

"You weren't even curious to talk to her?" Shepard shifted in the chair, turning to face Joker fully.

"Why? So she can tell me all about how I die in a fiery explosion when the reapers rip apart the Normandy? Or is it the collectors again?" Joker scowled at the holographic controls in front of him.

Shepard let out a sigh. "You don't die on our watch, Joker. Never have."

Joker looked at her, his eyes scanning her face; looking for any sign she was lying, she thought. "Well, that's a relief. Still," he said, lifting a shoulder, "what would I have to say to her? She's not you, Commander. I don't know her."

"She knows you, though. And she cares about you. She cares about all of you," Shepard said.

"Yeah, well, she's got a funny way of showing it." Joker pointed out of the viewing port. "There's the MSV Strontium Mule."


	61. Chapter 38: I've Got to Try, Don't I?

**Chapter 38: I've Got to Try, Don't I?**

The MSV Strontium Mule had been a walk in the park, almost laughably easy. Hell, if it weren't for how terrified Shepard felt, she would laugh. From the moment she stepped foot on that ship, she knew were every last merc and mech would be, what weapons they'd carry, what tactics they'd use. She knew were every last crate of ammo, element resources, credits, Medi-gel, and tech research would be … she just _knew_. It wasn't like knowing because Jane fed her memories, or whispered in her ear of what to expect—she just knew; knew it as clearly as she knew her own name, the smell of Anderson's aftershave, the sound of Garrus' voice, and the taste of Grundan Krul's coffee.

Plainly put, the MSV Strontium Mule had been the single most cut and dry run she'd ever been on in her life. Something was different with her, she could see it reflected in the eyes of each one of her squad, right along with the wary way they watched her, waiting to see if she would lose control and become Jane again. She didn't ask, but she'd bet every credit to her name that every one of them carried one of those delightful syringes filled with sedatives—even Tali.

Oh, but it was good to see Tali again, especially to see her so happy with Kal at her side. By the sound of things, Tali accepted Jane with open arms, treating her just the same as she would Shepard. She had to admit, after seeing the way some of her crew looked at her … well, it was nice to know Jane had at least a couple of people she could talk to. Shepard just wished she could talk to Jane now, but she remained decidedly absent, leaving a hole in Shepard's mind and heart she never expected to feel.

She knew Samara could help her find the answers, help her find Jane—if the asari was willing—but she was too afraid of what those answers might be to even ask. So she waited, and kept listening, reaching out to Jane in hopes her impossible companion would respond.

"Jane? Jane are you there? I … I need you. What the hell happened? Where are you?" Shepard whispered, her cabin empty save herself and the ever-present EDI, but still she felt awkward speaking aloud to the voice in her head.

"EDI and Legion think they might have an answer to what happened to you and the others." Scrubbing a hand over her face, she let out a sigh. "They think it might have something to do with the massive amount of energy produced by the Catalyst when you activated the device the first time. Something about it tearing a hole in reality; causing parallel universes to collide or something."

Shepard leaned back in her chair, glancing at EDI's access node. The hologram remained inactive, but Shepard knew EDI was still there; still listening and monitoring everything Shepard said or did, performing constant biometric scans. "Shit, I don't know. It's all a little over my head. I passed their findings on to Mordin. I figured he'd know better than I ever would. I'm sure EDI would tell you all about it herself if … if you'd just say something. Anything."

Licking her lips, she turned her gaze back to her laptop, EDI's report still open on her screen. "She uh, she played some recordings for me. Of things that happened while I was out." Shepard snorted softly, shaking her head. "You were kinda rough on some of the crew. Didn't exactly make things easier for me, Jane. Although, I can't say I'm too surprised … at least not about that." Picking at the corner of her laptop, she swiveled back and forth in her chair. "Something changed for you, though, didn't it? You started acting … different. Nicer. More compassionate. More … collected."

Sighing, she closed the lid on the laptop and pushed away from her desk. "You said they'd found me, Jane. The others were trying to find me … for what? John was keeping me hidden from you though, wasn't he? You were after me, Jane. But not in the end, in the end you were trying to protect me from the rest. So what the hell happened?"

Standing, she paced in the silence for a moment, concern waring with frustration and the longing for that space to be filled once more. "Damn it, Jane! Where the hell are you?" Shepard slammed her palm down on the desk, jarring picture frames and medals.

"Shepard, Jack is on her way to your cabin. Would you like for me to let her in?" EDI's soothing voice filled the room.

Shepard turned to look at the blue hologram and took a cleansing breath. "Yeah, EDI. Let her in."

"Very well, Shepard." EDI's hologram folded in on itself, disappearing as the door to the cabin opened.

The elevator chimed, and a moment later Jack strolled inside. Stopping to tap on Spike's tank, she glanced over her shoulder at Shepard. Forcing a smile on her face, Shepard turned to lean against the desk.

Jack left the tank, taking a few steps closer to Shepard before leaning against the wall, crossing her arms over her chest and one ankle over the other. "We need to talk."

"Alright, I'm listening." Shepard lifted an eyebrow.

"Jane still quiet or whatever?" Jack dropped her arms, her fingers wiggling restlessly at her sides.

"She is." Shepard tilted her head to the side. "You alright, Jack? You look … nervous."

Jack grinned. "Fuck you, Shepard. I don't get nervous."

"If you say so, Jack." Watching Jack squirm did more to relax Shepard than she'd imagine. She knew what Jack wanted to talk about. Between the little displays of affection between her and Garrus, and watching EDI's recordings of the conversations she had with Jane, it wasn't hard to figure out.

"I didn't think this would be so fucking weird." Jack pushed away from the wall, making her way down into the living area of Shepard's cabin.

Shepard followed her, settling down on the couch. "Let me make it easier for you, then. It's alright, Jack."

Jack stopped next to the liquor cabinet and turned to look at Shepard. "He told you?"

Shepard shook her head. "Didn't need to. I've got eyes, Jack, and EDI's been filling me in on everything I missed. Helping me piece together what happened those eleven days."

Jack smirked. "Of course she is. EDI, you snitch."

"If you didn't wish for your conversations to be shared, you should have informed me, Jack." The snark in EDI's voice was unmistakable.

Rolling her eyes, Jack opened the liquor cabinet, pulling out a bottle of rum. "Like that would've done anything."

"She is the commanding officer of this ship. I'm obligated to do as she says, but I value the wishes of all the crew. I would have informed Shepard of your request." EDI paused. "My behavioral analysis algorithms suggest an eighty-seven point six percent likelihood Shepard would have respected your request for privacy."

Jack glanced at Shepard.

Lifting her shoulder in a shrug, Shepard flashed Jack a smug smile. "Guess we'll never know now. Sorry Jane drank all the vodka. We'll get more the next chance we get."

"Whatever." Shrugging, Jack lifted the bottle to her lips while crossing the room. Plopping down on the couch, she threw her legs up and eyed Shepard. "I wanted to be the one to tell you. I guess I felt I owed it to you or some shit. I know the two of you are cool with seeing other people, so I didn't expect it to be an issue or whatever, but …."

"But you love him, and that's new for you." Shepard turned to sit sideways on the couch, pulling her knee up and draping her arm over the back.

Jack looked down at the bottle resting on her thigh, picking at the label with her thumbnail. "I don't know. I mean, what the fuck is love anyhow?" She took another drink from the bottle. "Doesn't matter anyway. He loves you, and I'm not trying to stand in the way of you two."

Shepard chuckled, shaking her head. "Oh, Jack. What makes you think he can't love us both?"

"Never works that way in the vids." Jack snorted. "Two people fall in love and spend the rest of their lives together, just the two of them or some stupid shit." She shook her head. "I don't want none of that anyway. Being married. Having kids. God I hate kids."

Shepard choked back a laugh, knowing damn well Jack would one day be willing to completely risk life and limb for the kids at Grissom Academy. "What do you want, Jack?"

"Fuck, Shepard! I don't know. Why are we even having this conversation? This isn't why I came in here. I just needed you to know, alright?" Jack dropped her feet to the floor, leaning forward, resting her elbows on her knees.

"You're right. This is a conversation you should be having with him. But I know you well enough to know you feel safer having it with me." Shepard held up a hand, stopping Jack from retorting. "I know. I know. Safe wasn't the best choice of words, don't go getting all 'I'm a badass bitch' on me. You get what I'm saying."

Jack leaned back against the couch, watching Shepard in silence. "Shit. I've really got to be the galaxy's biggest bitch, don't I? What the fuck am I even doing here? You've got all this crazy shit going on in your head and here I am throwing this shit at you." She shook her head. "How do you even do all of this? I mean, damn, Alliance, how have you not just said fuck it all and bailed on all of this?"

Shepard smirked. "Don't think I don't know an evasive maneuver when I see one, Jack. I'll let it slide, though. But really, you should talk to Garrus. Tell him what you're feeling." Shepard moved to the edge of the couch and picked up the bottle of rum, taking a swig. "The reapers are coming, Jack. Where would I go? There isn't going to be any place still safe. Besides," Shepard said, tapping the side of her head, "I've got to figure all this out or I'm just going to be another voice in some other Shepard's head."

"Right." Jack chuckled, grabbing at empty air, silently asking for the bottle back.

Shepard passed it back to her. "I know, you don't believe me. You will. They all do in the end."

"Sorry to interrupt, Shepard. You wished for me to inform you when we've reached ETA two hours from twenty-one eighty-one Despoina." EDI's voice broke through the quite that settled in over the two women.

"Thanks, EDI. Call everyone to the comm room." Shepard stood, taking the bottle from Jack and putting the cap back on it. "Go on down, Jack. I'll be down in a minute."

Jack nodded, making her way up the stairs. Shepard put the bottle back in the liquor cabinet, letting out a heavy sigh when she heard the cabin door open and close. Running her hands through her hair, she pulled it back in a low ponytail. She spent a few minutes straightening her desk, giving her crew a chance to make their way to the comm room, and giving her a chance to order her thoughts. Taking another deep breath, she picked up a datapad and tucked it under her arm on her way out.

"Are you well, Shepard?" EDI's hologram popped up next to Shepard as she waited for the elevator.

"I'll be alright, EDI." Shepard turned her head, smiling over her shoulder at the hologram.

EDI softened her tone, lowering her volume. "Biometric scans are showing high levels of stress response."

Shepard chuckled, amused that the AI showed concern through inflection even though she still hadn't acknowledged she was beginning to feel emotion. She let out another sigh, and stepped inside the elevator when the doors opened. "I'm not sure if this will work, EDI. The leviathans were hard enough to convince with the reapers beating down their front door … I'm going down there to try and convince them of something entirely different, and they may just laugh in my face."

"Is leviathan cooperation vital to the war?" EDI asked.

Shepard leaned against the elevator wall, pursing her lips and crossing her arms over her chest. Sucking her teeth, she shook her head. "No. Not really. They're strong, and it certainly helps, but we can do it without them."

"I am not sure I understand your concern, Shepard." Confusion colored EDI's voice.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, Shepard tilted her head back to look at the ceiling. "What if … what if the leviathans can stop The Intelligence, without my ever having to activate the Crucible? What if we can stop the war before it even really begins? What if I don't have to die there, EDI?"

The elevator stopped and the doors slid open.

Shepard glanced at Kelly standing a few feet away, and stepped out of the elevator. "We'll talk about it later. Thanks, EDI."

EDI's hologram sprung to life just outside of the elevator's door. "For what, Shepard? I offered you no solutions, nothing to aid you in your mission."

Shepard smirked. "Sometimes, the best thing anyone can do is just listen."

"I am always listening," EDI said.

Shepard's smile widened. "I know EDI, but it's different when you make a point to ask someone what's bothering them and then listen to them when they tell you about it."

"Shepard's right, EDI," Kelly said over her shoulder, "listening is a huge part of psychotherapy. It can be very cathartic for clients to simply be allowed to give voice to their thoughts and emotions. I can recommend a few books for you, if you're interested."

"I am interested, thank you, Yeoman Chambers," said EDI.

Kelly smiled, turning around completely to take a few steps closer to Shepard and EDI's access node. She dropped her voice, whispering. "EDI, I know your shackles are off. We all do, the Illusive Man notified all Cerberus personnel when it happened. You can call me Kelly, if you want."

Shepard shifted; her spine stiffening as she glanced around the CIC. "He did? Miranda and Jacob never said anything."

"How odd." Kelly glanced at Shepard. "Perhaps he assumed you'd already told them? I don't understand why you felt the need to keep it a secret, Commander, but the Illusive Man gave us orders to not press you on the subject." Kelly lifted her shoulder in a shrug. "I hope you don't mind that I brought it up, I wasn't trying to question your decision; I just wanted to make EDI more comfortable."

Shepard fought the urge to narrow her eyes, instead plastering a smile on her face. "I don't mind. Thanks Kelly. I better get in there, they're waiting." Shepard took a few steps away before stopping and turning back to EDI's access node. "Oh, EDI, tell Joker I'm going to need him to get off his lazy ass and come to the comm room, too."

"Should I use those exact words, Shepard?" EDI asked.

Shepard grinned. "Absolutely." She left EDI and Kelly, making her way through the tech labs to the comm room.

Everyone save Grunt, Zaeed, and Joker were present and accounted for, talking quietly amongst themselves when Shepard entered. All eyes turned to her as she took her place at the table, settling the datapad down in front of her.

She glanced around. "EDI, while we wait for the others, please pull up what we have on Despoina."

A holographic star chart appeared above the table, zeroing in on Siguard's Cradle, then further still on the Psi Tophet system. The door opened, and Joker hobbled inside, casting Shepard an annoyed glance. She grinned at him as he made his way to the table, leaning against it for support.

"James," Shepard said, glancing at the marine standing next to the door, "would you mind snagging Joker a chair from Mordin's lab?"

"Sure thing, Ídolo." James turned to the door.

"And better not touch anything else; Mordin may tranquilize you or something if you do." Shepard grinned at Mordin when he sniffed indignantly.

"Have no reason to tranquilize, will just shoot." Mordin blinked twice, his tone completely void of humor.

Shepard winked at him, knowing damn well he was merely playing the role of an indifferent sociopath.

James paused, looking back and forth between Shepard and Mordin. "Uhhh."

Jacob laughed, patting James on the shoulder. "Better just grab a stool from my station."

"Right." James left, shaking his head and mumbling to himself about the 'loco salarian.'

Grunt and Zaeed walked in seconds before James returned. Once Joker was settled on the stool, glaring at Shepard with only marginally less annoyance, she turned her attention back to the display.

"Go ahead, EDI." Shepard nodded her head at EDI's access node.

"The Psi Tophet system has yet to be explored fully. The existence of three planets has been discovered via probes sent into the system, though no further exploration has taken place." EDI zoomed the star chart in on the blue planet. "Our destination is the first planet from the system's star. It's called twenty-one eighty-one Despoina. Scans indicated, and it has been confirmed by Shepard, to be an oceanic planet with a nitrogen-oxygen atmosphere."

"There will be no place for the Normandy to land," Shepard said, taking over the briefing, "and even if there were, it is completely unsafe for the Normandy to get too close to Despoina." She turned her attention to Joker. "You'll need to keep the Normandy as far away as is possible and still be in radio range, you should keep the stealth systems engaged if possible."

"Are you expecting the Normandy to come under fire, Commander?" Joker rested his elbows on the table, the crease in his brow deepening.

"We can't overlook the possibility. This trip is being made under entirely different circumstances than other times." Shepard splayed her palms out on the table, glancing around the room, meeting the gaze of everyone present before settling back on Joker. "The species I'm going down there to talk with have worked very hard, for a very long time, to stay hidden from the rest of the galaxy and won't be happy to see me. At the very least, I do know they have some method of sending out an EMP capable of knocking ships out of the atmosphere, but I don't know the extent of its range."

"Shit." Joker grumbled, running his hand over his face.

Shepard grimaced, knowing she'd just ruined Joker's day. "We'll be going down in a shuttle, and it's quite likely that pulse will be turned on us. In the past, I went down in an Alliance Kodiak with Steve Cortez as pilot."

"Esteban?" James perked up, leaning forward on the table next to Joker.

Shepard nodded in response, opening her mouth to continue.

"Hey, you know he was on Fehl Prime, right?" James raised his eyebrow. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Shepard sucked in a deep breath, letting it out in a huff, her bangs fluttering. "We can discuss Cortez later. Now's really not the time, Vega." Shepard waved her hand, indicating the gathered crowd waiting patiently for her to continue.

James pushed away from the table and rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh, right. Sorry guys."

Kasumi giggled, reaching out to drag her hand along James' arm. "Awww. You're so cute when you're embarrassed."

James grinned at Kasumi, waggling his eyebrows. Shepard cleared her throat before he could say something undoubtedly inappropriate for the moment. Everyone turned their attention back to her.

"As I was saying, the Kodiak got hit by the pulse and we were grounded on a wrecked ship, the MSV Monarch. Cortez is one of the best pilots around—" Shepard paused to glare at Joker when he snorted. "And it wasn't easy for him to get us landed once that pulse hit."

"I can land us, Commander." James crossed his arms over his chest.

"You're sure, James?" Shepard crossed her own arms, leaning her weight back on one hip.

"Sure." James lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "The landing might not be as pretty as Esteban's, but I'll look better doing it." He grinned, winking at Shepard. "I spent a lot of downtime with Esteban, helping him work on the vehicles and taking them for test runs. I know the Alliance's Kodiaks well, and I'm willing to bet Cerberus' won't be much different."

Garrus chuffed. "You realize if you fail, we all end up in the water, right? Turian's don't swim, Vega."

"Hey, don't worry, Plates, I got this." James flashed Garrus a cocky grin.

"Plates? Seriously, Vega, that's the best you could come up with?" Garrus' mandibles fluttered.

Shepard held a hand up, silencing them both. "OK, James will fly the shuttle. At the very least, I know he knows how to crash one with precision." Shepard grinned, enjoying the confused look from James and the concerned looks from everyone else. "Now, the leviathans have taken refuge deep beneath the water. The Monarch will have what we need to repair the shuttle, and a Triton ADS. Because we're hitting Despoina early, I don't anticipate any hostile activity aboard the Monarch, but we'll be prepared anyway. While the ground team repairs the shuttle, I'll take the Triton into the water."

Garrus cleared his throat. "Alone?"

Shepard nodded. "Alone."

"So, what are these leviathan, exactly?" Lia asked, stepping closer to the table.

"EDI, please pull up archived images of Sovereign." Glancing at the hologram of Sovereign now floating over the table, Shepard picked up the datapad, running her fingers over the screen. "Can you transmit this to everyone's omni-tools?"

"As you wish, Shepard." EDI said.

A moment later, omni-tools began pinging all around the room.

"I typed up a report, detailing everything I can remember about the leviathans. I suggest you familiarize yourselves with it before we leave; even those of you who aren't going down." She turned her attention back to the hologram. "In the meantime, I'll give you the short story. The leviathans are an ancient species, older than anything we've ever encountered before. They dominated the galaxy, using some sort of indoctrination ability to control other species, forcing them to pay tribute."

Shepard cleared her throat, glancing down at the datapad still in her hand. "The other species created synthetic life, which later turned on their makers." She forced herself not to look at the quarian's in the room, hearing them shift around. "After seeing this cycle repeated, the leviathan created their own synthetic life, an AI they referred to as The Intelligence. They tasked this AI with preserving life at all cost, and set it to observe the behaviors of the other species to gather information about them and the synthetics they created."

Shepard sat the datapad down and glanced back up at Sovereign. "The Intelligence eventually decided the leviathans themselves were part of the problem, and in order to fulfill its task of preserving life at all cost … it began the first harvest, killing leviathans and storing their DNA in the first reaper—Harbinger, the same reaper now leading the collectors against us." She pointed up at the hologram hovering over the table. "Harbinger, just like Sovereign and all of the other reapers until now, were created in the leviathan's image."

The quite gasps and murmurs already filling the room grew in intensity. Shepard took a step back, giving her crew a moment to soak it all in.

"What do you mean 'until now'?" Grundan Krul spoke up, his normally quiet voice rising above the din.

Shepard moved back to the table; all eyes on her once more. "The collectors are taking human colonists because they are using them to build a humanoid reaper. The report I had EDI send you will also detail what I know about the collectors and the reapers."

"Why change their pattern now? Why humans?" Grundan Krul focused his gaze on the reaper hologram.

Shepard took a deep breath and shook her head. "I honestly don't know. When we destroy the human-reaper, EDI speculated the reapers shape each new reaper to look like the species they used to create it, but for whatever reason weren't able to complete a prothean-reaper. That being said, when the reapers come en masse, all I saw looked like Sovereign." She pointed up at Sovereign. "Maybe it's because I pissed them off enough succeeding in leading the galaxy against Sovereign." She shrugged. "The human-reaper isn't the finished product by far, maybe in the end it would look like Sovereign, too … the human part just at the core or something. Your guess is as good as mine."

"So these assholes—these leviathans—created this whole bloody mess and have—what?—just hid their heads in the sand and let it happen all this goddamn time?" Zaeed shuffled forward, nudging Kal and Jacob aside to press his palms into the table and stare down Shepard. "And you want to go down there and aske the sonsofbitches for help? Are you out of your goddamn mind? I say we nuke the shit out of the planet and blow those bastards to hell."

Shepard sighed as the room broke out in a cacophonous mix of arguments for and against blowing up Despoina, as well as whether or not it was a good idea to seek the aid of the leviathans. Shepard held up her hand, sighing again when no one seemed to notice. "Alright. Alright. Quiet down," she said, but still the noise continued.

A sharp whistle cut through the chaos as efficiently as the report of a gun. The room instantly fell silent, all eyes turning to James. Dropping his fingers from his mouth, he grinned at Shepard and nodded.

Shepard chuckled. "Thank you, James." She turned her attention back to the room. "We're not blowing up Despoina, and yes, I'm going to go down there and ask them to help clean up the mess they created. This isn't a democracy; it isn't up for vote, although your opinions have been noted."

Zaeed scoffed, shaking his head as he pushed off of the table, moving back to lean against the wall.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. "Tali and Garrus, I want you two there to repair the shuttle. James, you'll be piloting. Mordin and Miranda, there's a good chance I'll need medical attention when I resurface. You'll also be needed to help James protect Garrus and Tali while they work on the shuttle if we get any hostile visitors. EDI give us all a twenty-minute warning before it's time to head out. Dismissed."

Shepard watched as all but Garrus and Thane shuffled out of the room, still whispering to each other about the leviathans. Turning, she pushed herself up on the edge of the table, letting her legs dangle. Thane and Garrus moved around the table, closing in on her, both with tight expressions.

"What aren't you telling us?" Garrus stopped next to Shepard's left side, arms crossed over his chest. "You said you might need medical attention. What the hell happens down there?"

Shepard sucked her teeth. "The leviathans have a way of getting inside your head, almost like an asari's meld, but more forceful. They haven't hurt me too bad before, just a nose bleed and exhaustion, but I don't know how things are going to go this time."

Garrus hissed, turning to pace away from Shepard. "Spirits. Shepard, are you sure this is worth it?"

Letting the cold edge of determination seep into her voice, she said, "I am." She bit the inside of her cheek, debating with herself on whether or not she should tell him just how helpless she'd be down in the depths of Despoina; how easily the leviathans could kill her if they wanted to, or how they'd be far more interested in keeping her as their pet than killing her.

Thane reached out, tracing his fingers along her jaw. "Siha, what is it?"

Shepard closed her eyes and took a deep breath, shaking her head. "It's nothing."

"Shepard?" Garrus pressed.

"The circumstances are different this time; the reapers aren't hot on my trail. The leviathans might not be as willing to listen to me." Shepard lifted her shoulder, trying to downplay her concerns, knowing it was pointless with those two.

"You think you'll have to fight them?" Garrus' mandibles flared, sniffing the air around her.

Shepard snorted and shook her head. "There isn't any fighting them, not down there in a beat up old mech surrounded by enough water to crush the life out of me. Not with them able to force their way into my head and kill me with a thought." She could feel the anger rolling off of Garrus in thick, sickening waves, boring a hole straight through her chest. "I've got a plan."

"It better be a damn good one," he rumbled, his subvocals sounding strained.

"They've spent millennia in hiding, watching the rest of the galaxy through these artifacts of theirs. Using those they enthrall to erase all signs of their existence. The last thing they want is to be found, but they can't hide from me. And since I know where they are, I can use that fact to my advantage." Shepard pushed off the table, tucking her hands behind her back. "If I don't return, I gave EDI the order to broadcast the location of the leviathan out into deep space, telling the reapers exactly where they're hiding. Then, she'll send out a report to every species' government telling them of the leviathan's crimes and where they can be found."

"What if they don't believe you?" Garrus crossed his arms, dropping his weight to one hip.

"They'll be inside my head; I won't be able to lie," Shepard said.

Thane coughed gently into his fist. "What about Jane and the others?"

"I don't know. I haven't heard anything from Jane since I woke up. I'm … I'm not even sure she's still there." She fought back the twitch of her lips threatening to pull her mouth down into a frown. "Look, I know you two are worried. I'm not going to lie and say I'm not, but it needs to be done and I've got the best chance of getting it done. I'm not just asking them to fight in the war; I'm asking them to stop the war before we get in too deep. They created The Intelligence, and we've got time still, maybe they can come up with a way to stop it before the reapers arrive."

"You …." Garrus' mandibles flared, hope filling his voice. "You think they can do that?"

"Maybe." Shepard lifted her shoulders. "I've got to try, don't I?"


	62. Chapter 39: I Failed

**Chapter 39: I Failed**

"Are you _sure_ you can land the shuttle once that pulse hits?" Miranda sat up front next to James, ever the perfectionist in need of control; she had to settle for the passenger's seat.

"Hey, if you're scared and want to hold on to my arm … or something, I'm good with that." James' bawdy tone floated to the back of the shuttle.

Shepard groaned, shaking her head. Miranda's disdainful scoff the only response she gave. The rest of the ride passed in tense silence until the pulse hit and the shuttle took a dive. Shepard held on to her harness, bracing herself against the turbulence. Garrus sat stiff in his seat, his hand drifting to her thigh. She dropped her hand to his and squeezed reassuringly, turning her head to give him a smile.

"Oh, Keelah se'lai!" Tali's lithe frame jostled around in her seat, and she gripped her harness for dear life.

"Ooh Rah! Yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about!" James whooped gleefully from the pilot's seat. "Hang on everybody!"

James was right. His landing wasn't nearly as pretty as Steve's, but the marine got the job done. The high pitched whine of metal sliding against metal announced their arrival along with a few solid, definitely-shuttle-damaging bumps.

"Ow! Damnit, I bit my tongue." Tali gave a light shake of her head as the shuttle slid to a screeching halt.

"What've we got, Vega?" Shepard unbuckled her harness, moving through the shuttle to stare at the Kodiak's readings.

James turned in his seat to grin up at her. "All clear, Commander. Kodiak's a little banged up but it's nothing Plates can't fix. Ain't that right, Plates?"

"If it is, I'm throwing you overboard." Garrus moved to the shuttle door, assault rifle at the ready, waiting for Shepard's signal to move out.

James chuckled. "If you think you're big enough, you're welcome to try."

"I'm sure Miranda wouldn't mind lending me a little biotic back up." Garrus smirked, his mandibles fluttering.

Shepard pushed away from the pilot's chair, moving out of the way while Miranda and James unbuckled. "Alright, we'll need to borrow the shuttle's power cells to get the storage doors open. There's a few things of use spread around on the ship, scavenge what you can so long as things stay calm. You'll notice some strange orbs. The leviathans will be using them to watch us, but they can also use them to take control of you, given enough exposure. Destroy them on sight. I'm fairly certain they use them to create the pulse that took us down as well." Shepard nodded to Garrus.

He opened the shuttle door and dropped down to the ancient wreckage of the MSV Monarch. Shepard moved out behind him, her assault rifle sweeping the area in front of her. Once satisfied there were no reapers spontaneously dropping from the sky, she stowed her assault rifle and turned her attention back to the shuttle. Cosmetically a disaster, the Kodiak didn't seem too worse for the ware as far as functionality was concerned, and really that's all Shepard cared about. She nodded her head; Garrus and Tali would have it up and running in no time.

James set to work pulling the power cells for Shepard while she held a backpack open to receive them. Once the bag had all it could carry, she began lugging the power cells to the Monarch's power sockets. The relative silence of the ghost ship in contrast to the battle-filled chaos of her memories felt eerie, making the fine hairs on Shepard's neck stand on end.

She couldn't help but to stop and look over her shoulder every couple of minutes. Mordin and Miranda moved about the ship, gathering what useable items they could salvage and destroying the leviathan artifacts as they went. Tali and Garrus worked on the Kodiak, heads close together; occasionally the sound of Tali cursing at the shuttle followed up with Garrus' laughter would reach Shepard's ears. Everything seemed to be going smoothly, but she couldn't shake the unease slithering along her spine.

Finally, she chalked it up to being watched by the leviathans and focused on getting the door powered up enough to open. James went back and forth from the shuttle to Shepard, bringing her more power cells. The tight lines of his furrowed brow belied the easy smile he flashed at her as they worked.

"What's going on? Talk to me James." Shepard slid a power cell into the socket, watching as the gauge gave her the readout before moving on to the next socket.

"Ah, it's just jitters, Ídolo." James looked around him, and shrugged. "This place kind of gives me the creeps." He turned his attention back to Shepard, studying her intently. "You sure you want to go down there? I mean, if these leviathans are as bad as you make them sound …."

"I'm sure, James." Shepard smiled, opting to change the subject, hoping to ease the lieutenant's mind. "So, you and Kasumi seem pretty close. There something going on there?"

"Ah, come on, Ídolo. I don't kiss and tell. But uhhh … if there were, you know … would that be a problem? I mean, the Normandy isn't exactly under Alliance regs."

Shepard chuckled, shaking her head. "No James, no problem. It'd be nice to see, actually. Another reminder of what we're fighting for, right?"

"Right." James grinned, rubbing the back of his neck. "She uh, she moved down to the hangar so Tali and Kal could have some privacy up in port observation. It's good, you know, having someone down there to talk to."

Shepard glanced down at the gauge, watching it fill enough for the door housing the Triton to open. She brushed her hands together. "Good," she said, meeting James' gaze and nodding. "Talking is good for her right now." She gestured at the gauge. "Show time."

Shepard made her way back over to the shuttle, stealing Garrus' attention away from the Kodiak repairs long enough to press her forehead against his and give him a quick kiss. "The doors are open, I'm heading down."

"Shepard, let me look over the Triton first. Make sure it's all in working order." Tali wrung her hands, shifting her weight from side to side.

Shepard nodded her head, watching as Tali trotted over to the mech. She took the extra time Tali gave her to spend a few more stolen moments in Garrus' arms. He didn't ask her if she was sure about the mission, and she felt grateful; they'd settled it on the Normandy and he knew how important the leviathans could be for her.

When Tali called in with the green light, Garrus pressed his forehead to hers once more before letting her go, his subvocals whining with unarticulated worry. Garrus and James followed her to the Triton, helping her climb inside and then stood back as she activated the mech. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she walked the mech out to the side of the ship and jumped overboard.

Garrus' voice filled her comms before the Triton even hit the water's surface. "Be safe down there, Shepard."

Water filled her vision as the mech submerged. "I'll do my best. Comms usually cut out while I'm down here. Try not to worry, and remember: turians don't swim."

"Hmmm. Humans can, and Vega looks like he's got a good set of lungs. Mordin's amphibious." Garrus sounded strained, the humor forced to her ears.

"I'm sure they'd both be willing to try, but they'd never reach me. I'll be more than thirty-two hundred meters deep." Shepard fought to steady her breathing, not wanting her anxiety to eat up all of her oxygen. "I love you, Garrus."

"I love—." The rest of his words were lost to static.

"You're breaking up, Garrus. Don't worry, I'll see you soon." The comm went dead. She wasn't sure how much he actually heard, but in the end, she trusted in him to keep his head on straight.

The darkness closed in around her, the bright beam from the Triton illuminating a swath of nothingness in front of her. There in the quiet, with nothing to distract her, the new memories that didn't belong there—weren't hers and shouldn't be in her head, pressed in on her. She was on the surface again, dodging reaper troops and making a mad dash to the next power socket. Husks and brutes chased her down, zeroing in on her while marauders charged up the cannibals, keeping them on their feet and providing them with armored plating.

Shepard shook her head, trying fruitlessly to clear the images. Falling through darkness, layer after layer of memories of the great expanse filled her mind. The leviathan rising up just beyond the edge of a cliff sent a terror that wasn't hers lancing through her. She remembered thinking she was staring into the eyes of a reaper; stunted relief sweeping in when she realized the entity in front of her was purely organic.

It spoke to her, its voice deep and soft, sounding directly in her head. Invading her mind, it scoured her memories and used them to form the images of familiar faces. Using the visage of Ann Bryson and so many others from the Task Force Aurora team, the leviathan told her about the creation of the Intelligence and its subsequent betrayal.

Her team dragged her to her feet, urging her to the waiting shuttle. Brutes turned on one another, ripping into each other, ignoring Shepard and her team as if they weren't even there. They got her into the shuttle and took off; watching from the windows she saw a reaper near the ocean only to be pounced on and pulled below the water's surface by a leviathan.

The Triton touched down on a solid surface, sending a jolt through her, pulling her back to reality—current reality. For a moment, Shepard didn't move, shaken by the realness of her flashbacks. Nothing stirred around her save for seaweed dancing in the currents. The sound of her own ragged breathing anchored her in the moment. "Shit."

Her fingers trembled as she sent out a flare, using the soft glow to light her path. Bioluminescent jellyfish moved gracefully nearby, coral and seaweed lined her path. Whenever the light of her flare faded behind her, she sent out another. Her movements through the water felt automatic, and she felt entirely sure she didn't even need the flares. Shepard swallowed against the knot in her throat and trudged forward, dropping off an outcropping before continuing on. Shutting off all non-critical systems without thinking about it, she moved in sync with the memories. She plunged off of another outcropping, rounding the bend to make the final descent.

The memory of a probe she never actually launched from the Normandy flashed at her. She blinked once and it disappeared, licking her lips she continued. The ground beneath her shook, the rumbling audible through the mech. Bubbles rose up just past the ledge, and Shepard's heart pounded in her chest. She kept herself moving forward, even as the ground rocked beneath her again and she caught the first glimpse of the leviathan cresting over the ledge. She couldn't tell anymore what was real, and what was merely a mirage. Something told her it didn't matter either way. She stopped, watching the leviathan rise out of the depths. Stilling her breathing, she slowed her heart, letting her training take over.

The leviathan's voice broke through her mind, banishing all other thoughts. "You have come too far."

Something brushed up against her consciousness, brief and fleeting before recoiling.

"You should not exist." The leviathan's voice wormed its way into her every cell. "What are you? Why have you breeched the darkness?"

There was no gentle easing into the place of communion the leviathan created in her mind—where they walked her consciousness stealing the faces of people in her memories—no, not this time. There were no flickers in and out of reality, no sudden trips back and forth between that dark place her memories promised her. This time there was pain, sharp and hot, ripping apart the very fiber of her being.

"There are too many inside one vessel. This vessel will not hold them all for long."

"Stop …." Shepard groaned, her head swimming in a sea of agony.

She grit her teeth, fighting back against the onslaught of alien thoughts pressing against her mind. Her vision cleared for a moment, but only long enough to see other leviathans rising out of the depths, more than any of her memories accounted for. A red haze consumed her, voices whispering just beyond her range of hearing filled the moments of silence in between the grating voices of the leviathans.

"They know us. They have breached the darkness before."

"The Intelligence will find us. This Harvest has only begun, the vessel is filled with memories it cannot have."

There were too many of them, she couldn't track the voices. "Stop …."

"They have already begun construction of the Crucible. This cycle will end the Harvest."

Shepard shoved back with all her might, and for one brief moment, it didn't feel like she pushed alone. "Stop!"

On her hands and knees, her palms pressed into a solid, clear surface, water lapping in small waves just below. White and gray unidentifiable motes of debris floated in front of her face, filling the darkened atmosphere and adding to the otherworldly feel; catching in her lungs and tasting like ash on her tongue. Coughing, she sucked in deep gasps of fetid air, smelling of death and decay, until the odor cleared, taking with it the haze filling her mind.

Hands slid under her arms, pulling her to her feet. Her head jerked from side to side, taking in the battered, sickly faces of Jane and John. Shepard sobbed with a strange mix of relief and dread. They held her up, leaning against her as much as they supported her weight. Her gaze roamed, taking in the sight of hundreds of other Shepards, some pulling themselves to their feet while others lay, unconscious and prone on the ethereal floor. Catching sight of the truly unexpected, Shepard froze.

The Council stood before her; Udina, Sparatus, Tevos, and Valern. She squinted, her head still swimming. That wasn't right. Anderson filled the role of human councilor for now, and Sparatus resigned. As soon as the idea skirted across the surface of her thoughts, Udina shifted into Anderson and Sparatus into Quentius. Shepard let out a sudden, sharp, bark of laughter. Of course they chose faces meant to represent authority over her. She wasn't the lone, lost, little lamb stumbling into the lion's den by herself, and unlike before, they just saw _exactly_ who she was. Steeling herself, she tugged her arms free of Jane and John, taking a determined step forward.

"You made this mess. These Harvests are happening because of you." Shepard crossed her arms over her chest.

"You will pay tribute and end the cycle," the Tevos-leviathan spoke up, her face void of any emotion, the deep voice contrasting with the illusion.

Shepard shifted her weight, shaking her head. "We need your help, you created the Intelligence. There has to be a way you can stop it, stop the reapers."

"Without the Crucible," Jane added, stepping up on Shepard's right-hand side, crossing her arms over her chest, too.

John moved to Shepard's left-hand side. More Shepards started making their way to her, taking up station around the three of them while others formed a loose ring around the group, leaving Shepard, Jane, John, and the Council imposters in the middle.

"You will build the Crucible and succeed without our interference." The Quentius pretender flicked his mandibles, nodding his head decisively.

"No, the Crucible isn't enough. Something's not right with it, your Intelligence is the Catalyst and …," Shepard said, glancing around her at the weakened Shepards still lying unconscious, "it just starts this whole goddamn thing over again." She took another step forward. "Don't you get that? Your creation _controls_ the Crucible."

"We understand. You will be the key the Intelligence needs to finalize its solution. Your tribute will end the cycle." Coming from a leviathan wearing the face of Shepard's mentor, the words somehow felt more ominous.

"The cost will be paid, life will be preserved." The would-be Valern tucked his hands into the sleeves of his robe.

"What? No. We don't know that it actually ends the cycle." Jane dropped her arms to her side, her jaw slack. "We don't know what happens to everyone else once the Crucible is used. But obviously something isn't right because we," she said, waving her hand around to indicate all of the Shepards, "keep coming back to do it all over again!"

"Your fate is anomalous but ultimately irrelevant." The Anderson-leviathan waved his hand dismissively. "We will move forward, free to reclaim our rightful position in the galaxy once more."

Murmurs of unrest broke out in the gathered crowd of Shepards, bringing them pressing in closer and closer. Jane and John eased a little nearer to Shepard, their arms brushing up against hers. The muscles along Shepard's shoulder blades tensed, the animosity coming from the other Shepards palpable.

"Irrelevant?" Ruby pushed her way through the crowd, getting right up in the Anderson imposter's face. "Irrelevant? Who the hell do you think you are?"

The leviathans didn't flinch in the face of Ruby's ire; observing her as if she were nothing more than an unruly child threatening to hold her breath until she got her way, knowing her temper tantrum would only lead to her passing out.

"I stood in this very spot, fighting like hell to get you to see reason the last time I was here. I stood right here, _alone_ , and called you out for the cowardice of your actions and convinced you to fight in this war. _That's_ irrelevant?" Ruby snarled throwing her hands up in the air.

"Ruby," John warned, the tendons along his jaw standing out against his stubble.

Ruby ignored him, shaking her head at the mockery before her. "But apparently, Dawn lacks the backbone to call you what you are. Cowards! You know the outcome, so now you're not even going to fight? You're going to stay down here, hiding in the dark while the rest of the galaxy suffers through devastating losses to fight a battle _you_ started?"

The fake Valern sniffed just as disdainfully as the real one. "Why should we interfere on behalf of lesser races when our sacrifice is unnecessary to end the cycle? We can see your minds clearly; you will not abandon your task even in your darkest moments."

"You sorry, craven sonsofbitches! Do you _really_ think that after hundreds of thousands of years literally hiding from your own mistake that you'll be able to just waltz right in when this is over and build yourselves a fucking empire?"

"Ruby, stand down." Jane squared her shoulders, authority seeping into her tone.

Ruby spun, turning on Jane with a blood-thirsty sneer. "No. I don't take orders from you. Our alliance is over, Jane. You don't even get to talk to me. I trusted you to fix all of this, but you betrayed all of us when you chose her," Ruby said, shoving her finger in Shepard's direction, "and she tried to kill us! Look around you, Jane. Seem like a few faces are missing to you? Because it sure seems like more than a few are missing to me. That _bitch_ killed them while _you_ fought to protect her."

Jane held steady, flinching no more than the leviathans in the face of Ruby's rage. Instead, the corner of her mouth lifted up into a one-sided smirk. "Too bad you weren't one of them."

The crowd of Shepards shifted restlessly, whispers of 'killed them' filling the air. Shepard's heart dropped into her stomach. What did they mean? She looked around her, trying to estimate their numbers, but in the dim ambiance all she could say for sure was that the majority of them were staring back at her with narrowed eyes. Had she killed some of them? Could they even _be_ killed—she watched John land a perfect headshot on Ruby, but there she stood without a sign of the lethal wound.

Ruby smiled, the glowing scars crisscrossing her face only adding to the crazed look in her eyes. "Careful, Janey. You might be next."

"We tire of your bickering," The Tevos-leviathan spoke, her voice silencing the crowd. "The course has been set. You will return to the surface and do that which you are meant to, activating the Crucible and ending the cycle."

Ruby turned back to the leviathans, picking up where she left off as if nothing else had occurred. "You think that we won't rise up against you and tear you down just like we're going to do with the monsters that chased you into hiding in the first place?" She shoved her finger into the chest of the leviathan wearing the Valern disguise. "We—."

She collapsed to her knees, her hands fisting in her hair. Screaming in agony, she dropped to the floor, curling in on herself. Shepard took half a step toward Ruby only to stop when John settled a hand on her shoulder. She glanced at John and he shook his head. The leviathans watched Ruby writhe for a moment before dismissing her, turning their attention back to Shepard. The second they averted their gaze, Ruby's screams faded to whimpers, her chest rising and falling in heavy pants.

Shepard licked her lips, struggling to stay calm while her plan went sideways. "So don't fight. You don't have to fight to help. You had the ability to create something as complex as the Intelligence. So you can do something to stop it—rewrite its programing, give it a virus—something!"

"No." The Tevos-leviathan gave a firm shake of her head. "We are done here."

As one, the four leviathans turned their backs on Shepard and started walking away.

She followed them, determined to see it through to the bitter end. She still had her wild card, the threat of exposing the leviathans, to play. "Wait. The reapers are already on their way. The Harvest has already begun. They're going to find you. You can help me stop them before they reach the relays. You can—."

Blinding pain filled her head, spreading throughout her entire body, dropping her to her knees. The sound of her scream echoed back to her by every other Shepard, searing through her mind. Retching, blood spilled from her mouth, pouring from her eyes and nose. Then, just as suddenly, the agony disappeared. Shepard panted, tears stinging her eyes.

"Do not test our patience. We have been merciful beyond your understanding." The four Council imposters circled Shepard. "You breached the darkness not to beg for our assistance as supplicants, but to demand it with threats." Their voices pushed into her head, speaking in unison. "You live because we allow it, because you serve a purpose. Leave now of your own volition, or leave as our thrall. The choice is yours."

Shepard opened her eyes, gasping for breath. She blinked, red filling her vision. Fully conscious, secure inside the Triton, she felt blood roll down her cheeks like sticky tears. The rest of the leviathans retreated into the abyss, leaving one floating there at the edge to watch Shepard through the mech's glass.

She tried to activate the thrusters, wanting to flee to the surface but couldn't get her fingers to cooperate. Whimpering, she tried again; sobbing desperately when the Triton shot upward. Her ears felt clogged, and she didn't think it the shift in pressure could be blamed. She licked her lips, the taste of blood leaving a coppery tang in her mouth.

"I failed," Shepard thought, taking a shuddering breath, squinting her eyes against the pinpoint of light reaching her from the surface.

 _"_ _You had to try,"_ Jane said, loud and strong in Shepard's mind. _"Maybe they'll reconsider."_

Shepard sobbed again, it turning into a strangled, wet cough leaving her gasping for air. The water around her no longer looked as black as night, hints of green and blue mingled with the red of her vision. Her lungs hurt and she was tired, so, so very tired. Eyelids drooping, she let them fall closed for just a minute.

A spike of panic filled Jane, seeping through to Shepard. _"No! Stay awake, Dawn. You have to stay awake to get us to the surface. You're hurt and the Triton's running out of air."_

Shepard forced her eyes open, her head lolling listlessly on her neck and groaned. She tried to reach for her omni-tool, intent on activating her suit's Medi-gel release, but she couldn't quite figure out how to move her arm. The light grew brighter, burning her eyes and clawing through her skull.

The diving mech broke through the surface, shooting out of the ocean. Shepard's hands, moving over the controls without her conscious direction, landed the Triton on the surface of the Monarch. The mech opened, and she spilled out, falling face first to the ship, her arms barely coming up in time to prevent her face from smashing into the metal.

"Shepard!" Garrus' called to her, sounding so far away.

Groaning, she pushed herself over to her back. She coughed, her lungs heavy and rattling in her chest. Garrus hovered over her, calling her name, but she couldn't get her eyes to focus on him. Miranda knelt down on Shepard's other side, her omni-tool open, waving it over Shepard. James appeared, hands pulling at Garrus' shoulders. Garrus jerked out of his grip, his growl cutting through the ringing in her ears. James grabbed Garrus again, yanking him to his feet and dragging him back. Mordin dropped down to her side in his place.

Something huge and dark moved above her, blacking out the sky before leaving her field of vision. Miranda and Mordin looked up, their jaws hanging agape. Shepard coughed again, expelling something wet and thick from her lungs, dragging their attention back to her. More dark shapes filled the sky, seeming to shrink before disappearing altogether.

 _"_ _It's the leviathans."_ Despair riddled with disbelief passed from Jane into Shepard. _"They're … leaving."_

"I failed," Shepard said, feeling her lips move but unsure if they made any sound.


	63. Chapter 40: Aggressively Neutral

**Chapter 40: Aggressively Neutral**

"Get her on the bed, hurry!" Dr. Chakwas voice cut through the heavy fog surrounding Shepard's thoughts.

Opening her eyes felt like trying to move mountains with nothing but the sheer force of her will. Her head hung limply on her neck, chin tilted to the sky, lifting it even more impossible than opening her eyes. Arms wrapped around her back and under her knees, her body's only source of support. Her arm slid off her chest, dropping down to dangle out to the side, flopping uselessly with each bounce of movement.

She was falling—no … no, the arms still had her, settling her down on a hard, flat surface. A warm huff of breath brushed across her face before the familiar feel of Garrus' forehead pressed gently against hers. A soft keen filled her ears, and she wanted desperately to lift her hand, to run her fingers along his mandible and tell him she would be alright … but she couldn't figure out how to get her arms to move.

 _"_ _Garrus,"_ Jane whispered in the back of her mind.

"Her intracranial pressure is too high. Her implants are working to stabilize, but I think we're going to need …" Miranda's voice faded into nothingness.

She felt heavy and for a moment, she feared she might sink through the bed, right down to the med bay floor. Maybe she'd keep sinking, ripping through the decks until she hit that cold, familiar embrace of space, waiting to suck the life out of her once more.

 _"_ _No. No, we're not going to die."_ Jane pushed, urging Dawn to listen. _"Do you hear me? We're not going to die here."_

"… losing consciousness …"

She knew the voice. She had to know the voice, she just couldn't place it. Someone pressed something to her face, covering her nose and mouth. Hissing in her ears, frigid air pushed its way into her nose, filling her lungs. Warm fingers pulled her eyelids up, one after the other, shining an agonizingly bright light in her eyes.

"We've … you under …"

* * *

The beautiful, rich scent of coffee hung in the air. Shepard breathed in deep, the aroma chasing away the last vestiges of drug induced sleep.

 _"_ _Ow."_ Jane's voice brought a smile to Shepard's lips.

"Told you that would wake her up." Joker's voice came from somewhere on her left.

"I didn't doubt you, Joker. I only said it was best to let her rouse on her own." The chastising tone of Dr. Chakwas' voice was unmistakable.

Shepard opened her eyes, testing the soreness of her muscles by turning to seek out the source of the wonderful smell. The small motion hurt more than she wanted to admit. Everything ached, worse than the first week of N7 training. Joker lifted one side of his mouth in a half smile and held a mug out toward her. She grinned, pushing herself up a little more upright on the bed, ignoring the pain and reaching for the mug.

"No! Absolutely not. I need to run more tests before you go filling your system with caffeine." Dr. Chakwas pushed away from her desk, crossing the floor in long strides.

Shepard wrapped her hand around the mug and pulled it over, cradling it between both hands, inhaling deeply. "Better run those tests, then, Doc. My pilot brought me coffee. I'm pretty sure there's a law somewhere that says I have to drink it." She took a sip and moaned, more than a little obscenely, earning her a chuckle from Joker and a raised eyebrow from the doctor. "And it's Grundan Krul's brew."

Jane chuckled. _"I don't think she cares. She's got that scary doctor slash mom look on her face."_

"Well, your spirits seem high, at least." Dr. Chakwas pressed the tips of her fingers to the inside of Shepard's wrist, pulling her hand away from the mug. "You _are_ aware you nearly _died_ , Commander?"

"Suppose that explains the change in wardrobe." Shepard deadpanned, lifting the coffee back to her mouth to steal another sip despite the look of ire Dr. Chakwas threw her way. She turned her attention back to Joker. "Where are we?"

 _"_ _She knows you're deflecting."_ Jane said.

Shepard snorted inwardly and thought, "Yeah, but she won't press me so long as I'm smiling and someone else is in the room."

"Citadel." Joker lifted his own mug.

Shepard cocked an eyebrow. "The Citadel? Why the Citadel?"

"I'm just the pilot. You were down; Miranda said go to the Citadel. I took us to the Citadel." He lifted a shoulder. "You've been out for a couple of days. Half the ship's empty, taking advantage of the impromptu shore leave."

Shepard frowned, her eyebrows drawing inward. "Anderson been by yet?"

"Yep." Joker took another sip.

"And?" Shepard asked, narrowing her eyes.

"And he's awaiting word from me on your condition." Dr. Chakwas dropped Shepard's wrist, opening her omni-tool to wave it over Shepard's head.

Shepard sighed. "I think I liked it better when you two didn't talk so much."

Dr. Chakwas snorted, closing her omni-tool. "You're fine, Commander. I strongly urge you to take it easy for another couple of days … oh, who am I kidding?" She turned, making her way back to her desk and took a seat, her attention back on the console in front of her. "I'll message Anderson. I'm sure he'll want you to go report as soon as you feel you're able."

Shepard nodded to herself, glancing at the clock on the med bay wall. "EDI, notify the crew I'm up. They've got until twenty-hundred hours to report back to the Normandy. That'll give them a few more hours while I take care of business."

"Right away, Shepard." EDI's hologram hovered near the door. "The crew has been notified. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Shepard held her cup up, blowing the steam away, creating ripples in the dark surface. "Yeah. Do we have any intel on where the leviathans went? How many left? Any signs some stayed behind?"

 _"_ _I can't believe they refused to help. Ruby's right, they're craven bastards."_ Jane snorted softly. _"I can't believe they have me agreeing with Ruby."_

EDI said, "Twenty-two leviathans were witnessed leaving twenty-one-eighty-one Despoina. It is unknown how many, if any, remained. They were seen accessing the local relay, heading into the Omega Nebula. From there they could have accessed—."

Joker cut her off with a harrumph. "A shitton of other relays."

"Yes, thank you, Jeff." A hint of humor colored EDI's words.

 _"_ _It's already happening with them, isn't it?"_ Jane asked.

Shepard smiled and thought, "I think so."

Joker looked over his shoulder at the hologram. "Anytime, EDI."

The med bay doors slid open, clearing the way for Garrus as he made a beeline to her side. He hovered next to her before turning to Dr. Chakwas. "You're sure it's her?"

 _"_ _Yep. Still hates me."_ Sadness colored Jane's tone, tugging at Shepard's heartstrings.

"Garrus." Shepard narrowed her eyes.

"There's been nothing to indicate a change, Mr. Vakarian," Dr. Chakwas said without bothering to turn around.

"I had to ask, Shepard." Garrus perched on the edge of her bed, resting his hand on her knee. "How are you feeling?"

"My muscles are sore, but otherwise I'm fine." Shepard shrugged, taking a swallow from her mug.

"That's from a mix of blood loss, asphyxiation, and your implants working to keep you stable. I suspect it'll pass soon. Though drinking coffee instead of water might increase the recovery time." Dr. Chakwas glanced over her shoulder, catching Shepard's gaze.

Shepard grunted, taking another swallow. "Mhmm."

Garrus wrapped his hand around her mug, pulling it away from her mouth and out of her hand.

"Hey!" Shepard lunged forward, making grabby hands at the mug, her achy muscles screaming at her in protest. "Ow!"

Garrus flicked his mandibles at her and carried the cup across the room, setting it down next to Dr. Chakwas. "Here, have some coffee."

Dr. Chakwas laughed, picking up the cup, and spinning her chair around to face Shepard while she took a long gulp. Shepard crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at first Dr. Chakwas and then Garrus. He only smirked, moving to the sink to pour her a glass of water before bringing it back, thrusting it out at her.

"I hate you." Shepard took the glass of water, tossing her head back and swallowing down the whole glass before handing it back to him.

Jane chuckled, the sound not really carrying much mirth.

He flicked his mandibles at her, taking the cup and carrying it back to the sink. Shepard glanced at Joker, eyeing his coffee mug enviously. He sighed, pushed himself out of the chair and handed her the mug, letting her swallow half of the still-too-hot liquid ambrosia before Garrus turned back from refilling her cup. Dr. Chakwas scoffed and shook her head. When Garrus turned around, she hastily handed the mug back to Joker and smiled at the turian she loved. He growled low and shook his head, staring at Joker as he crossed his arms and dropped his weight to one hip.

"Alright, alright." Joker held up a hand, turning to make his way slowly to the door. "Sorry, Commander. You're on your own on this one."

The door slid open, revealing Thane. He stepped aside, bowing lightly to Joker who nodded his head in return before making his way out of the med bay. Thane met Shepard's gaze, smiling as he crossed the floor to stand at her side.

"It's good to see you awake, siha." Thane pushed her hair back, tucking it behind her ear, letting his fingers trail down her neck.

Shepard leaned into his touch, turning her head to kiss the inside of his wrist before he could pull his hand away, earning her a soft smile. "Awake, and ready to get out of this bed." She held her hand out to him. "Little help?"

"Of course." Thane took her hand, letting her use him to brace herself as she pushed herself from the bed.

Shepard whimpered as sharp, pinpricks of pain danced up and down her legs under her weight. Thane shifted, sliding his other arm around her waist to support her. A moment later, Garrus was there, shoving the cup of water at her. She sighed, taking the glass and sipping from it before handing it back to him. She limped over to the counter where a clean set of clothes waited for her. Although moving was painful, she could already feel stubborn muscles stretching back out, loosening as she moved.

Scooping up her clothes, she turned to eye Garrus and Thane, a smirk tugging at her lips. "You boys staying for the show?"

Dr. Chakwas pushed away from her desk before either of them could respond. "Out, out, go on." She waved her hands at them, shooing them from the med bay.

Shepard laughed as the two men ducked their heads, scurrying from the room. She waited for the door to close behind them before hobbling back over to drop the stack of clothes on the bed and pulled off her gown. She glanced up at Dr. Chakwas. "I can hear Jane again."

Dr. Chakwas turned her chair to face Shepard, sitting back down. "How do you feel about this?" She glanced toward the door. "You didn't mention this in front of the others."

 _"_ _I don't blame you. Joker and Garrus both would've soured over the news."_ The soft sound of a sigh came from Jane.

Shepard pulled on her bra, groaning as she reached behind to close it, and lifted her shoulder. "Relieved? Insanely happy she's not gone?" She turned, leaning against the bed to step into her panties. "Dreading the reactions of some of the crew … of Garrus."

That seemed to bring a spark of smugness from Jane. _"Insanely happy, really?"_

"Oh shush," Shepard thought with a smirk.

"And … how is Jane?" Dr. Chakwas stood, opening her omni-tool as she made her way back to Shepard.

"Surprisingly sane." Shepard shrugged. "Far more together than she's been since the Lazarus Project."

Jane snorted. _"Thanks."_

"You're welcome," Shepard whispered, ignoring the twitch of Dr. Chakwas eyebrow.

Dr. Chakwas passed the omni-tool over Shepard, turning her attention to the screen. "How so?"

"Well, she hasn't said a lot since I woke up, but she … feels more stable." Shepard tilted her head to the side. "And I saw her and the others while down there while the leviathans were in my head. She looked more together, better composed."

Dr. Chakwas glanced up, holding Shepard's gaze for a moment before turning her attention back to her omni-tool. "I see. And do you agree with this assessment, Jane?"

 _"_ _Uh, yes, yes I do."_ Jane's shock at having the doctor address her directly, and so casually, echoed Shepard's.

Shepard nodded when Dr. Chakwas met her gaze again. "She says she does."

"Excellent. I had hoped that might be the case." She closed her omni-tool. "Jane showed significant signs of improvement while you were comatose. I believe her time spent existing in a more … physical way, helped to reorient her." She smiled warmly. "That being said, with the change of circumstances … it's possible you might regress, Jane. If you begin to feel as if that might be happening, you should let us know right away."

 _"_ _I—of course. Is this weird? This feels weird."_ Jane stirred in Shepard's mind. _"I mean, she can't hear me … so, yeah, this is weird."_

Shepard surprised herself with a bark of laughter, pulling on her pants. "She says it's weird that you're talking directly to her since you can't hear her."

Dr. Chakwas nodded. "Well, I hope that you can get used to it, because I plan on encouraging everyone to do the same. I think that it might help keep you grounded, for lack of a better term."

Shepard paused, her shirt half over her head. Pulling it down the rest of the way, she met Dr. Chakwas gaze, her eyebrows raised.

"And I encourage you, Dawn, to be her voice when she has something to say. The two of you should be working together, not against one another." Dr. Chakwas raised her eyebrows, giving Shepard that all too familiar challenging look.

"You … think all of that will help?" Shepard shoved her arms through the sleeves, tugging her shirt down into place. "And it's not going to be a major disruption to the crew? And people will remember to keep it to themselves when around the Cerberus crew?"

 _"_ _I think I she's right, Dawn. I think I need this."_ The desperation in Jane's voice spoke volumes.

Dr. Chakwas rested her hand on Shepard's shoulder. "I believe it will take some adjustment, but yes, Commander. I think it will help the both of you; possibly the others as well." She squeezed Shepard's shoulder before dropping her hand and moving back to her desk. "Perhaps the two of you can come up with a code word, or a nickname for the crew to use when addressing Jane where others might overhear."

"Doc?" Shepard sat on the bed, pulling on her socks.

"Yes, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas watched her closely.

Shepard took a deep breath, and let it out slow. "There's something else."

Dr. Chakwas didn't respond, only kept her assessing gaze on Shepard.

"When I was in the coma … something happened. I think I somehow hurt—killed some of the others." Shepard kept her head down, focused on the task of getting her boots on and laced up. "I think Jane knows what happened."

"Jane?" Dr. Chakwas moved to stand in front of Shepard again.

Jane was quiet for a long moment before finally letting go of a resigned sigh. _"Yeah. I don't know how exactly, but you … pulled some of them in. Absorbed them somehow … and knocked the rest of us out with some sort of blast. It happened as you were waking up."_

Shepard swallowed, her fingers trembling, making her struggle with her laces.

Dr. Chakwas covered Shepard's hand with one of her own, her voice soothing as she asked, "Commander, what happened? What's Jane telling you?"

"She said something happened when I was waking up. That I—," she said, her voice cracking, "I absorbed some of them somehow. And then there was some sort of blast that knocked everyone else out. I don't understand, Doc. Absorbed them how?" Shepard dropped her shoe laces, shaking off Dr. Chakwas hand to scrub her face, burying her fingers in her hair. "There's been … I've been having memories that aren't my own. Different from seeing them from Jane. They're there, inside of me like it really happened to me … but I know it didn't."

Dr. Chakwas sat down on the edge of the bed next to Shepard. "Commander … unfortunately, there are no records of something like this ever happening before. I have nothing to compare any of this to." She snorted softly. "This is the sort of thing that if a doctor can figure out, it'll make them famous." Smiling, she rubbed her hand along Shepard's back soothingly. "In the meantime, I do know that I've never met anyone stronger than you. And if anyone can pull though this, my money's on you."

A wry smile tugged at Shepard's mouth and she blew out a noisy breath. "Thanks, Doc."

Dr. Chakwas leaned over, bumping her shoulder against Shepard's. "Are these memories disturbing when they happen?"

"No … not really. I mean, some of the memories themselves have been disturbing but considering what we're facing, how could they not be?" Shepard shrugged, turning her attention back to tying her boots.

"Does it feel like you're losing control of your faculties? Can you stop the memories if you try?" Dr. Chakwas asked, opening her omni-tool to take notes.

"I haven't really tried too hard to stop them, but they are a little disorienting." Shepard dropped her foot to the floor, pulling up the other one to rest on her knee while she worked the laces. Her muscles were already feeling less sore than when she woke up. "It did feel like I was moving on autopilot a little. Going down to find the leviathans."

"Autopilot?" Dr. Chakwas quirked an eyebrow.

"Yeah." Shepard put her foot back on the floor, bracing her hands on her knees. "I didn't have to think about where I was going, I already knew. When I started struggling to think, to use the controls … I just started doing them without thinking about it."

"So like muscle memory?" Dr. Chakwas typed something into her omni-tool.

Shepard thought about it for a moment, tilting her head to the side. "Yeah. Yeah I guess so."

"Any indication of autonomous thought?" Dr. Chakwas paused, her hand hovering over her omni-tool. "Um, anything that seems to deviate from the memories?"

"I know what autonomous thought means, Doc, and no. It's all just memories so far." Shepard stood, stretching her arms over her head.

"Well … I'm not concerned. Not yet at least. I do want you to try and keep track of these memories and see if you are able to stop them, particularly if they become difficult for you to deal with. And I want to know if anything new starts happening."

"That's it?" Shepard let a sharp bark of laughter escape her mouth.

Dr. Chakwas raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you suggest something else, Commander?"

Shepard raised her hands up in the air. "Yes!" She let them fall, slapping them against her thighs. "No." She raked her fingers through her hair, studying the floor in front of her feet. "Hell, I don't know. This whole thing … I just don't know. It's crazy. It's all crazy and I'm pretty sure I am, too."

 _"_ _You're not crazy."_ Jane snorted. _"I know crazy. You're stressed out. You're scared. But you're not crazy."_

Shepard's lips twitched and she whispered, "Thanks." When she looked up again, Dr. Chakwas smiled at her. "What?"

Dr. Chakwas stood, crossing the floor to stand in front of Shepard. She reached up; smoothing her hand over Shepard's disheveled hair. "You're not crazy." Letting her hand fall away, she smiled again. "I can't imagine how hard this is for you, Shepard. But you're not crazy, and you're not going through this alone."

Shepard snorted. "Yeah. Definitely not alone." She tapped the side of her head. "Never alone." She turned to the med bay door. "I better go see Anderson."

"Shepard?" Dr. Chakwas called after her.

Shepard turned, letting her Commander's mask slip back into place.

Dr. Chakwas frowned. "Do you think you are unfit for duty?"

"What?" Shepard's jaw dropped, her eyebrows creeping up her face; Commander's mask cast aside in her shock.

"I want to know if you are concerned about this to a point where you think you are unfit for duty." Dr. Chakwas crossed her arms. "You don't seem confident in my decisions, and I'm not complaining, but if you genuinely feel that it is not in the best interest of you or others aboard this ship …."

"Then I should resign." Shepard crossed her arms and pursed her lips.

 _"_ _No! No, you can't do that!"_ Jane all but screeched in Shepard's head.

"So, do you believe you are unfit for duty?" Dr. Chakwas asked again.

Shepard sucked her teeth. "No … no, I think I'm—we're the _only_ ones fit for this duty." She turned on her heel and left the med bay without another word.

Garrus and Thane waited just outside; Garrus leaning against the wall, arms crossed loosely while Thane stood in front of him, hands tucked behind his back. They both turned to smile at her when she walked out of the med bay. She found herself smiling right back, the stress and panic from a few moments before dissolving into nothingness.

She came to a stop next to them and glanced around the mess hall, finding it empty, she reached out and grabbed a hold of both of them, pulling them in closer so she could lace one arm through each of theirs. "Come see Anderson with me?" She looked back and forth between the two of them. "I'm still required to have guards."

"Of course, siha." Thane dipped his head.

Shepard leaned over and kissed his cheek, earning her a grin.

"Where's my kiss?" Garrus flicked his mandibles.

" _You_ stole my coffee." Shepard smirked, moving them toward the elevator.

Garrus chuffed, hitting the elevator call button, his mandibles drooping. Shepard chuckled, pushing up to her tip toes to press her lips against his cheek. He flared his mandibles, grinning at her as he pushed his forehead against hers. The elevator opened, and they stepped inside, Thane hitting the button for the second deck.

Shepard waited for the elevator to start moving and cleared her throat. "So … uh, I thought the two of you should know before Dr. Chakwas decides to send out a memo or something … I can hear Jane again." She looked up at Garrus, weary of his reaction.

His mandibles fluttered but he didn't say anything or even turn to look at her.

 _"_ _I suppose I shouldn't be surprised,"_ Jane said, disappointment seeping into her words. _"I hoped … I tried to make things right with him. I swear I did."_

"I'm sorry, Jane," Shepard thought.

"This is good news." Thane patted her hand on his arm. "I know her absence concerned you."

 _"_ _Glad someone thinks so,"_ Jane said.

Shepard smiled at Thane, mouthing the words 'thank you'. He squeezed her hand, his gaze flitting to Garrus before moving back to hers and he dipped his head. The elevator stopped, opening up on the CIC.

Kelly looked up, flashing Shepard a smile. "The Illusive Man would like to speak with you, Commander."

"Fantastic." Shepard suppressed a groan. "I'm on my way to see the Council. Tell him I'll call him later."

Kelly's eyes bulged, her jaw working soundlessly for a moment before she nodded. "Yeah. Sure. Of course, Commander. I'll let him know."

Shepard allowed herself a grin, winking at the yeoman. "Thanks, Kelly. You're a peach."

Kelly blushed, twisting back and forth at the waist and waved her hand at Shepard. She chuckled, leading Thane and Garrus off the Normandy. The atmosphere on the Citadel felt tense as they made their way to the Presidium. It made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end, making her feel naked without her armor. She wished she didn't feel like the extra weight of her armor would crush her. Garrus' mandibles stayed flat against his jaws, his gaze in constant motion. Thane didn't appear to be looking around as much, but Shepard knew that he'd be just as aware—if not more so—of every potential threat in the area.

They made their way to Anderson's office without incident, and Shepard let out a slow breath. The second Shepard stepped inside, Anderson's assistant, Rebecca, called him on the intercom before gesturing down the hall. Shepard smiled, nodding at Rebecca as she made her way to Anderson's door, Thane and Garrus right behind her.

Anderson stood at the back of his office, the rest of the Council in front of him via hologram. He looked up when she walked in, waving her over. "Shepard, good timing."

She glanced at Thane and Garrus; they nodded and took up station by the door. She noticed Garrus stood in front of Thane, keeping the Council from getting a good look at him, and it warmed her heart to see how close the two of them had become. Making her way over to Anderson, she turned to face the Council, her hands tucked behind her back.

"Shepard. Good of you to join us." Tevos smiled, clasping her hands in front of her.

Shepard suppressed a shudder, remembering the hell the leviathan faux-Council put her through. "Thank you, Councilor. I would've come sooner, but I was only just released from med bay."

"Are you injured, Shepard?" Quentius flared his mandibles.

Shepard smiled, giving him a slight shake of her head. "Nothing to worry about, sir."

"Well, Shepard, it's been a while since we've spoken. What progress have you made?" Tevos asked.

Shepard rubbed the back of her thumb across her forehead. "I've actually got something important to tell you unrelated to the collectors."

 _"_ _Are you sure you want to tell them this?"_ Jane stirred restlessly. _"The fact that we didn't win the leviathans over might not go over so well."_

"I think it'll go over worse if the leviathan are spotted by someone else, or show up demanding tribute and we didn't warn them," Shepard thought.

Anderson shifted next to Shepard, turning his attention to her. She glanced at him and lifted her shoulder a little before focusing back on the rest of the Council.

"I just left Sigurd's Cradle where I encountered a planet housing what I believe to be an unknown, ancient species." Shepard returned her hand behind her back, clasping it in the other.

"Commander, are you telling us that you've made first contact with a new species?" Valern raised a brow ridge.

"Uh, actually, I'm telling you I've made first contact with an old species. A very, very old species. Older than the protheans." She suppressed a smirk at the astonished looks on the councilor's faces.

Tevos licked her lips. "The protheans? Are you sure?"

"I believe so, yes." Shepard nodded once.

"Who are they? Where are they? There are protocols in place for this sort of thing." Tevos waved a hand frantically. "How could we not know about them?"

"Excuse me, Councilor." Shepard held up a hand, interjecting before Tevos could give herself an aneurysm. "I'll gladly tell you everything I know, but I feel I must start with telling you that this species is responsible for the creation of the reapers."

"You're certain, Shepard?" Anderson asked, undoubtedly remembering the conversations she'd had with him about the leviathans and hoping to cut off arguments from the rest of the Council.

Shepard turned, meeting his gaze. "Sovereign was made in their image. They look just like the reaper that attacked the Citadel."

"By the Goddess." Tevos' face lightened, giving her a sickly pallor.

Quentius flared his mandibles. "So they are hostile?"

Shepard sucked her teeth and gave a light shake of her head. "They are … aggressively neutral."

"Aggressively neutral? What does that even mean?" Valern asked.

Shepard clenched one of her hidden hands into a fist. "Let me start at the beginning."

"Please do." Quentius' arched his brow ridges.

Shepard forced a tight smile. "Let's see if I can condense this. Hundreds of thousands of years ago—I don't know how long—this species ruled over all others."

"Ruled over?" Tevos chirped again.

Shepard held up a hand, silently pleading with the asari for a little patience. "I'll get there, I promise. The other species created synthetic life, and eventually the synthetics turned against their makers. This kept happening over and over again."

Valern shifted, tucking his hands into the sleeves of his robe. "Like the quarians and the geth?"

Shepard opened her mouth, ready to defend the geth but closed it again. Instead she pinched the bridge of her nose, rubbing thumb and forefinger over her closed eyelids. "Mmm. So, this species—they didn't name themselves—decided to create their own synthetic because they were just arrogant enough to think that the same thing couldn't possibly ever happen to them."

"The reapers?" Quentius asked.

 _"_ _Christ, do they ever shut up? I don't think they were ever this vocal with me."_ Annoyances passed back and forth between Jane and Dawn.

"No exactly." Shepard cleared her throat. "They created an AI they call the Intelligence, giving it the job of figuring out how to preserve life at all costs. They sent this AI off to solve this problem, expecting them to come up with a solution to keep their subjects from creating other synthetics and then getting wiped out by their creations." Shepard made air quotes as she said, "Tribute does not flow from a dead race."

"They created an AI to keep people from creating AIs because AIs keep killing their creators?" Anderson raised an eyebrow.

Shepard's lips twitched and she nodded. "Yes sir."

"So where do the reapers come in?" Quentius asked.

"The Intelligence spent some time studying this pattern between organics and synthetics and came to the conclusion that their creators were part of the problem. The solution it devised—to save life at any cost—was to kill off their makers and the other races capable of creating synthetics, and preserve their DNA in synthetic form; beginning the first harvest."

"This is insane. How could they allow this?" Tevos' hand fluttered to her forehead.

"Well, by the time they realized their plan was backfiring, it was too late. They were being slaughtered. Some ran, hiding throughout the galaxy where they've stayed hidden all this time." Shepard rocked forward onto the balls of her feet, standing still was beginning to undo the progress she'd made loosening her achy muscles. "Watching and waiting, letting these cycles keep going. They've kept their numbers low, hidden in the depths of oceans, and used artifacts to watch for signs that they've been discovered."

"What artifacts?" Valern asked.

Shepard lifted a shoulder. "They called them 'fragments' they're iridescent orbs. They're able to watch and listen through these orbs, but also emit some sort of frequency they use to enthrall people—using these people to help keep their existence secret."

"Enthrall? Like indoctrination?" Valern asked, sounding unnervingly impressed with the idea.

Shepard nodded. "Indoctrination is a perverted form of the natural abilities this species possess, yes. It is also the method they used to rule over what they considered to be lesser species spread throughout the galaxy. It is possible, given the right circumstances, particularly if we win this war and they no longer feel the need to hide, that they might attempt to retake their place as a ruling apex species."

The councilors exchanged concerned looks.

Shepard continued, hoping to get through everything she had to say before they started bickering over this new perceived threat. "They communicated with me through some method similar to an asari's ability to meld … but less gentle."

Tevos' eyes widened. "How so?"

"I was forcefully and painfully pulled into this meld by several of these … whatever they are." Shepard licked her lips. "They dug through my memories until they found images of the four of you, and then presented themselves in my mind as the Council."

Anderson made sucked in a quick breath, making a startled sound. "Us? Why us?"

Shepard glanced at him, offering him a weak smile. "My guess is to impress upon me the idea that I'm subordinate to them in the hopes of keeping me compliant."

Anderson snorted softly. "You? Compliant? Clearly they didn't look too closely at your memories."

Shepard tried to smile but it fell flat as she considered her next words. "I tried to convince them to join us against the reapers, but they declined insisting that they won't get involved." Shepard hesitated a moment, taking a deep breath. "I tried to push the subject, reminding them that this was their doing and that if they didn't help us to end it, they'd have to continue to live in hiding until they were finally found."

Anderson inched a little closer to her, his voice laced with concern, "What did they say?"

"They didn't say anything so much as punish me for my insolence. They did something that caused intense pain, starting in my head and radiating throughout the rest of my body—making me cough up blood."

Garrus chuffed loudly enough to draw Anderson's attention. "Vakarian you have something to add?"

Shepard glanced over her shoulder, and Garrus met her eyes. Shepard jerked her head to the side, telling him to join her. He nodded, leaving Thane to fend for himself and crossed the floor to stand next to Shepard.

"You were with Shepard for this … meeting?" Quentius flared his mandibles.

Garrus gave a curt shake of his head. "No, unfortunately. They were too far beneath the ocean for anyone to accompany Shepard. There was only one diving mech available."

"What did you see, Vakarian?" Anderson asked.

"When Shepard returned, she was barely conscious and bleeding from her mouth, nose, eyes, and ears." Garrus held Anderson's gaze, his mandibles fluttering lightly. "Honestly, anyone but Shepard and I doubt they would've made it back to the surface at all." Garrus glanced at Shepard and she nodded. "Shortly after she resurfaced, those of us ashore witnessed members of this species Shepard described leaving the ocean and flying off into the sky."

Quentius' subvocals trilled. "You saw them?"

Garrus turned back to look at the turian councilor. "Yes sir."

"Others with you saw them as well?" Quentius' brow ridges raised; his gaze steady on Garrus.

Garrus nodded. "That's correct. Lieutenant James Vega, Tali'Zorah vas Neema, Miranda Lawson, and Professor Mordin Solus were present."

"Where are they now? We would like to hear their accounting of these events." Tevos clasped her hands in front of her, seeming to have regained some of her composure.

Shepard cleared her throat. "Shore leave. I was unconscious in the med bay when we arrived to the Citadel and my XO released the crew while I recovered. I can call them in if you'd like."

Tevos looked between Quentius and Valern before turning to Anderson and then looking back to Shepard. "I don't believe that will be necessary."

"I don't suppose you know where this new species went?" Valern asked.

Shepard lifted a shoulder and shook her head. "We know they used the relay to enter the Omega Nebula before us. From there …."

"Space flight? Without ships?" Valern's brow ridges shot up.

Shepard took a deep breath. "Seems so."

"I see. I believe the Council has much to discuss. If you remember anything else, please pass the information along to Anderson," Tevos said, clearly dismissing Shepard.

"Of course." Shepard nodded, turning her attention to Anderson. "We'll catch up later?"

Anderson smiled, patting her on her arm. "I'll call you when we're done here. Maybe you can swing back by before you leave the Citadel?"

"Sure. I gave the crew a few more hours shore leave." Shepard nodded to Garrus, making her way back over to the door.

"So, where to now?" Garrus asked falling in behind Shepard.

"Back to the ship, for me at least. I need the galaxy's hottest shower and then I'm going to eat the entire mess hall."

 _"_ _God that sounds wonderful,"_ said Jane.


	64. Chapter 41: Experimental Control

**Chapter 41: Experimental Control**

Shepard stepped out of the shower, breathing easier as the residual heat from the water continued to soak into her muscles, chasing the last of the aches away. She wrapped a thick terrycloth robe around her before drying off her hair and picking up her hairbrush.

"Shepard?" EDI's disembodied voice came through the speakers in the bathroom.

"Yeah, EDI?" Shepard started running the brush through her hair, hitting a tangle and remembering why she preferred short hair, but still determined to see just how long she could let it grow.

"Is this an appropriate time to speak to Jane?" EDI almost sounded hesitant.

Shepard smiled at her foggy reflection in the mirror. "EDI, did you wait until I'd be alone to ask?"

"Yes, Shepard. Is that a problem?" EDI asked.

"Not at all, EDI." Shepard's grin widened, pleased with the progress the AI was making with social cues. "Most people prefer privacy for this sort of conversation. Go ahead, EDI, Jane can hear you."

 _"_ _This ought to be interesting,"_ Jane said.

"Be nice, she's trying to apologize," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Oh,"_ Jane said, surprise seeping through their connection. _"I didn't expect this."_

"Jane, I have come to realize that I behaved in a manner that was hurtful to you, and I would like to apologize." EDI was quiet for a moment. "I allowed the behaviors of Jeff and some of the other crew to influence my behavior instead of forming my own opinions. After an analysis of your behavior while Shepard was comatose to that of your past behavior, I believe that you were making a genuine effort to repair your relationship with the crew. It would have been more appropriate for me to respond to you in the same nature in which you approached me. I apologize."

 _"_ _That's alright, EDI. I forgive you. I know I wasn't doing much to earn anyone's trust before,"_ Jane said.

"She says, 'That's alright, EDI. I forgive you. I know I wasn't doing much to earn anyone's trust before.'" Shepard moved the brush over her hair again, making sure the last of the tangles were removed.

"Thank you, Jane. Dr. Chakwas has recommended that we speak with you directly as much as is possible. I have made note of this and altered my algorithms." EDI's voice sounded pleased.

 _"_ _You're welcome, EDI, and thank you."_ Jane felt light and happy in the back of Shepard's mind. _"It really means a lot to me."_

"She says you're welcome and thank you. It means a lot to her." Shepard put down the brush. "I'm starving. You two good with chatting more later? Because between Jane and I, we've only got one mouth and I'm about to stuff it full of food."

"Yes, Shepard," EDI said.

 _"_ _Yep,"_ Jane said.

Shepard nodded her head and left the bathroom, the smells of roasted vegetables and seared mystery meat wafting up from down the stairs led her to the couch. Thane sat, waiting for her with two plates and glasses situated on the coffee table. She stopped, standing at the edge of the couch, her hands tucked into the pockets of her robe.

He smiled up at her, holding a hand out. "Join me, siha."

Shepard glanced over the neatly ordered plate, with food that actually looked like something she might want to put in her mouth, and raised an eyebrow. Slipping her hand into Thane's she let him lead her to the cushion next to him. "Gardner didn't make this."

"No, he did not." Thane smirked. "I thought you might enjoy something a little more …."

"Edible?" She picked up the plate in front of her, breathing in the aromas. "Appetizing?"

He chuckled. "Indeed."

She settled the plate back down to the coffee table and raised an eyebrow. "Thane, did you make this?"

"I did." Thane handed her a fork.

 _"_ _He's never cooked for us before,"_ Jane said, her amusement lifting the corners of Shepard's mouth in a smile.

"Jane's just reminded me that you've never cooked for us before."

"How terribly neglectful of me. I must apologize for the inconsiderate behavior of all other … versions of myself." Thane chuckled. "I hope you—all of you—find it enjoyable."

Shepard caught his gaze and held it, leaning in to kiss him. "I'm sure it'll be wonderful. Thank you."

He surprised her, slipping a hand into her hair to cup her head, urging her back to him as his lips found hers again. His tongue warm and inviting as it slipped into her mouth; Shepard returned the kiss, thoughts of food swiftly disappearing. Jane wordlessly retreated; pulling back into the recesses of Shepard's mind as she haphazardly tossed her fork to her plate.

She shifted on the couch, pulling a leg up and tucking it beneath her so she could lean in closer to him, more than happy to indulge him in the impromptu make out session. Lifting her hands to his neck, she caressed the soft ridges of his frills, savoring the way it made him tighten his grip on her. She trailed her hand down his neck and chest before tugging his jacket free of his shoulders, tossing it aside.

She expected him to resist when she nudged him back against the couch—giving him control during their intimate encounters had been a part of their arrangement, then again so had keeping things from going that far outside of their designated time or place. Surely he'd stop her when she moved to straddle his lap, but instead, he trailed his lips over her jaw, kissing and nipping at her throat. Shepard moaned, the warm glow inside of her ratcheting up to a roaring fire. Running her fingers along the scales of his arms and shoulders, kneading the solid muscles beneath, she slipped her hands between the edges of his vest and his back to touch just a little more of him.

He kissed his way up to her ear and whispered, "Your food is getting cold, siha."

"Mhmm." She moved a hand to his jaw, pulling his face back and reclaiming his mouth with her own.

His hands moved to her knees, slipping up over her thighs and pushing the robe aside until his fingers wrapped around her bare hips. Thane moaned into her mouth, gripping her hips and pulling her closer before breaking the kiss to return to nuzzling against her neck. "I thought you were hungry."

"Was I?" Shepard gasped when he ran his tongue over her skin, leaving a cooling wet trail in his wake.

Her heart slammed against her ribs when he tugged at the knot of her belt before pushing the robe open and exposing her nakedness. Shepard flushed, suddenly conscious of the faint scars that still crossed her body … a body that would already appear every bit as alien to him as she was. In all their time together—all of their practice sessions as she'd come to think of them—her clothes stayed on. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth, gnawing on the corner.

Thane leaned back, his gaze roaming over her inch by inch with a level of concentration she'd never seen matched by anyone else. She swallowed, holding her breath as his hands ghosted over her skin, moving up her thighs, over her hips and waist before sliding around to her back. He met her gaze, the green of his irises nothing but a thin ring around fully dilated pupils. Lifting a hand to her face, he tugged her lip free of her teeth with his thumb and guided her closer to him with his other hand, pressed against her back, until their lips met.

"You're beautiful, siha," he whispered, his breath warm on her lips.

A lopsided grin spread across her face and she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you. So are you."

He chuckled, a soft chuff of breath against her cheek before returning his lips to hers, his tongue delving into her mouth. Shepard's breath caught in her throat when his hand found her breast, brushing his thumb over her nipple. Rolling her hips forward, she moaned finding a nice, firm bulge waiting there for her to rub against, and his fingers spasmed against her back; the only encouragement she needed to do it again.

Thane hummed, pulling away from her, resting his forehead against her collarbone. He dropped his hand from her breast, using it instead to grip her waist. His voice sounded raw, cracking when he spoke, "Perhaps we should eat now."

Shepard let out a deflated sigh, rubbing her thumb beneath his jaw. "You are a cruel, cruel man, Sere Krios, but I love you anyway." Smiling, she kissed the top of his head and put a foot down on the floor behind her, ready to climb off of him.

She gasped as his hands tightened on her waist, stopping her from moving, and arched her eyebrow in question. He pulled her in closer until the bare skin of her chest pressed against the leather of his vest. Wordlessly, he turned her, keeping her cradled against him as he laid her back, stretching out over her. Pushing up on the couch, he hovered over her, and she stared up at him wide-eyed before slowly blinking.

Opening her mouth to ask him what he was doing, to tell him it was fine and they could just eat, the words vanished when his mouth covered hers. His tongue moved against hers, slow and measured, as he lifted her hand to his neck and held it there for a moment, silently asking her to leave it before running his hand down the length of her arm. A moment later he brought her other hand to join the first, using his knee to part her legs as their tongues continued to dance.

Reaching down between them, he slid a hand up her thigh spreading her legs wider. She felt him brush across the coarse hairs of her mound and then deft fingers spread her slick folds to send waves of need crashing over her. Shepard squirmed beneath his touch as he dragged his fingers up, soaking them in her fluids before circling her clit, avoiding contact with the bundle of nerves. She clung to his neck, whimpering against his lips as he broke the kiss and pulled back, looking into her eyes as he pressed against her clit.

"I love you, too, siha," he said, choosing that moment to return her sentiment.

Shepard's breath caught in her throat, her muscles already tightening as the pressure built inside of her. He lowered his head kissing along her jaw, grazing his tongue over her pulse. Working slow circles between her legs, he kissed along her collarbone before tracing his tongue over the curve of her breast, pulling her nipple into his mouth. She moaned, losing herself to the feel of his mouth and hands on her flesh—no barriers between them; just the euphoric feel of him there, in the moment with her.

"Thane," she whispered, her hands clutching at his neck in need.

His answer came in the form of teeth gently scraping over her nipple, tearing another ragged gasp from her throat.

"Thane … I don't think I …" She whimpered again, unable to make herself tell him it was too much. Unable to tell him he needed to stop, because it felt too good for her to control herself if he intended to test her limits.

He moved, his teeth finding her earlobe, nipping gently. "Let go, siha." Sliding his hand down, he dipped fused fingers inside of her.

"Oh gods." Her insides clenched around him, her back arching.

His thumb took up where his fingers left off by pressing into her clit, sliding up and down before turning in circles. Rocking his hand, he slid his fingers slowly out before easing them back inside.

"Oh." Shepard tugged at Thane needing to taste him desperately. "Oh gods."

He seemed to understand, bringing his mouth back to hers. His fingers curled inside of her, exploring her depths and bringing her closer and to the brink. Rolling her hips, she stayed with his rhythm, letting the pressure build inside of her. Her breaths came fast and shallow until she felt like she might suffocate, forcing her to pull her lips from his to suck in deep mouthfuls of cool air in between bliss-filled whimpers.

He buried his face in her neck, each kiss and nip of his teeth feeling like a live wire against her delicate skin. Shifting his weight to his elbow, he freed his other hand to palm her breast, trapping her nipple to roll it between thumb and finger sending her over the edge. Her back arched, her body shuddering as wave after wave of ecstasy crashed over her. Her head thrown back, the breath ripped from her in a high-pitched squeak as her throat spasmed, her fingers digging into the muscles of his neck and shoulders. Where others might have stopped, he kept at it, carrying her through the waves until her body started to relax once more; slowing to a loving caress as she collapsed back down to the cushion beneath her.

When the small, gentle shudders ceased and her breathing evened out, Thane removed his fingers from her, balling a fistful of her robe in his hand instead. His forehead pressed into her collarbone, his breathing deep, slow, and purposeful. He didn't move or speak, and after a long stretch of silence, Shepard began to feel uneasy.

She rubbed her thumb over the arch where his shoulder curved into his neck. "What's wrong?" she asked, keeping her voice low and unobtrusive.

He took another couple of measured breaths before moving his lips over her skin so gently she almost thought she'd imagined it. Rubbing her thumb back and forth over his scales once more, he shuddered under her touch, his kisses picking up fervor. Thane pushed himself up, watching her through heavily-lidded eyes. He scraped his teeth across his lip—something she couldn't remember him ever doing—before kissing her, his tongue seeking hers out hungry and demanding.

She swore she felt the moment his resolve cracked, crumbling to pieces before falling away completely. His lips left hers, and he sat up, taking her hands and pulling her up with him as he left the couch. Shepard stood before him, watching him with hopeful anticipation as he pushed the robe from her shoulders, letting it drop to the floor. Running his hands down her arms, he took her hands in his again, leading her around the coffee table and to the bed.

He pulled her to him, stopping next to the bed, and threaded his fingers through her hair. He kissed her again before resting his forehead against hers and took a deep breath. "I …" The words caught in his throat and he closed his eyes, licking his lips before trying again. "I don't want to wait anymore."

She took his face in her hands, unable to ignore the hint of uncertainty hanging in the air between them. "Are you sure? I know I've given you a hard time over waiting, but really … I'm perfectly happy just to have you near me."

The corners of his mouth lifted in a slow smile. Tugging at her hips, he pressed himself against her, letting her feel just how sure he was. Shepard's eyebrows twitched, sliding her hands down his neck and over his chest she tugged at the buckles of his vest, taking it slow to give him time to change his mind. His gaze swept over her as she worked, moving from her face to graze over her shoulders and chest. She opened the vest, pushing it out of her way to run her hands over his chiseled chest and stomach, savoring the feel of him beneath her fingers.

He shrugged his shoulders, letting the leather fall away from his body, and pulled her in close. Feeling her breasts press against his bare chest—for the first time, no matter how vivid the memories that didn't belong to her—his heart beating against her, calmed her, filling her with a sense of warmth and safety. She closed her eyes, imagining she could feel the thread connecting them, anchored in their hearts, that she knew must be there.

Taking him by the waist, she turned, guiding him down to the bed before pulling off his boots and tossing them aside. Climbing up on the bed next to him, she nudged him back until he laid flat. The light shining through the dark pools of his eyes illuminated every ounce of emotion, showing her the years of loneliness and pain, but something else, too: hope and desire; a passion that burned so brightly it took her breath away and threatened to bring tears to her eyes.

Blinking, she sucked in a slow breath and tore her gaze from his before what she saw there overwhelmed her completely. Lowering her face to his chest—as much to hide her eyes from him than anything, afraid if he saw her tears welling up, he'd change his mind—she began kissing, licking, and nipping her way down over his chest as she worked at unbuttoning his pants. Putting her feet back on the floor, she hooked her fingers in his waistband, and he lifted his hips for her, letting her ease his pants down.

She stopped, kneeling between his knees as she tossed his pants aside. Taking a moment to appreciate his vulnerability; the trust and the love he offered her, filling her with a different kind of warmth. She pushed herself up, running her hands along his thighs. Glancing up, she caught and held his gaze as she dragged her tongue along his length, grinning at the croak of breath escaping him.

As much as she wanted to crawl on top and have her way with him, she thought it might be easier for him if she gave him control. She kissed her way back up his body taking his hand in hers before pushing off the bed. He stood with her, taking her in his arms, hands and lips brushing across every inch of her they could reach. She pulled down the covers, lying back against the pillows, holding his gaze as he pressed a knee to the mattress to lean down over her. He ran a hand along her thigh, and she opened her legs to him, wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him to her.

Thane moved up onto the bed, kneeling between her legs. She watched him as he took his time, his gaze roaming over her body, lips slightly parted. Tracing his fingers over each of her scars, his mouth moved but no sound came out. Still, she recognized the name of the goddess Arashu on his lips. Smiling, she reached out to him again, and he lowered himself to her, hesitating once again.

She caressed the back of his head, her fingers running along the edges of his crest. "You're over thinking this." She kissed his brow. "EDI's monitoring me; she'll let you know if things start to go wrong. But I really don't think they will; Jane's giving us space."

He slid his arms under her shoulder's resting some of his weight on her, his erection, warm and teasing just barely resting along her slit. "I—it's not …."

Shepard cleared her throat, watching him until he met her gaze. "Are you … feeling self-conscious?"

"Perhaps."

Shepard chuckled lightly. "Oh, any other time I would tease the hell out of you. The big scary assassin who can kill me … what, twenty different ways from here …?"

Thane huffed, nipping at her shoulder hard enough to make her squeal and jump. "Twenty-five at least."

Shepard laughed wrapping her arms further around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss. She rolled her hips back, sliding herself against his length. His eyelids fluttered, a hoarse moan escaping his throat.

"You have absolutely nothing to worry about, and after what just happened over there," she whispered, nodding her head toward the couch while wiggling her hips until she had him lined up for entrance, "you've already more than impressed me. You want me to beg? Because right now I have no shame, and I will totally beg."

"That's an intriguing idea." He grinned.

Shepard pouted, sticking out her lower lip, and he chuckled. Taking her lip gently between his teeth, he shifted his hips, easing himself just into her opening. Shepard sucked in a shuddering breath, lifting her ass off the mattress to work him in further, and he moaned a soft growl of approval as he pushed himself flush. Wrapping her legs around him and locking her ankles behind his knees, she pressed her lips to his and just savored the new sensations as their bodies adjusted.

He pulled out slowly, testing the waters while he held her gaze, flooding her with his love and tenderness until it took her breath away. He moved again, agonizingly slow, and she whimpered. It seemed to be the only encouragement he needed as he built up to a speed that pushed him deeper with each thrust.

Swiftly being carried back to that place of euphoria, she clung to him, her gasps and moans growing louder as she lost all restraint. The feel of his muscles tensing beneath her fingers along with the sounds of his ragged breathing and moans of pleasure, tipped her over the edge, and her body curled around his as her inner walls spasmed against his length. She gasped convulsively before the air caught in her lungs, her throat closing down on her, and Thane let out a loud cry. She forced her eyes open through the waves in time to see him throw his head back, grunting as he slammed into her one last time; throbbing as he emptied himself inside of her.

Her hands urged him down to her lips and they kissed, breathing in one another's shuddering breaths until the final waves of their orgasms subsided. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she refused to let him leave her just yet, not ready to give up the feel of him surrounding her. Thane shifted just enough to slip his hand up to cradle the back of her head, kissing her one last time before resting the side of his face against hers.

"I love you, siha," he spoke softly, his thumb rubbing back and forth just behind her ear. "I don't want to lose you. When they brought you back to the Normandy …" His voice broke, and he swallowed. "I was afraid."

She squeezed him tight, running her hands over his neck and back. "I love you, too. And I'm sorry I frightened you … but it seems to have worked in my favor."

He chuckled, pulling back to look into her eyes. "You are as devious as you are beautiful."

Shepard grinned. "I'm also starving."

He shook his head. "I tried to convince you to eat."

"Mmmm, this was better." She ran her thumb over his lower lip.

He smiled, leaning down to kiss her. "Was it?"

"Gods yes." She licked his lip before nipping at it.

He chuckled again, giving her a quick kiss before pushing himself off of her, rolling over to lie on his back next to her. "You should go eat something, siha."

"Mhmm, in a minute." She rolled to her side, nudging his arm out of the way to snuggle in next to him, resting her head on his chest.

Thane wrapped his arm around her, trailing his fingers along her back and shoulder. Shepard hummed contentedly and snuggled in closer. They stayed like that, lying together in the afterglow for a few more minutes without saying a word.

Finally, she pushed herself up on her elbows. "Thank you."

"For what?" Thane turned his head a little so he could better meet her gaze.

Shepard scrunched her shoulders up until they brushed against her ears. "For being one of the kindest, most patient people I've ever met. For being nice to Jane when I wasn't around, even though I know she did her best to get under everyone's skin at first. For taking a chance on me despite … well despite how insane everything about me must've sounded. For being willing to share." She grinned. "For cooking for me."

"Ah. You don't get to thank me for cooking until you've eaten, and it's cold now so it probably won't taste nearly as good." Thane cupped her cheek in his hand, caressing her face with his thumb. "Everything else has been my pleasure, siha."

She leaned down and kissed him. "I'm going to go eat every crumb on that plate right now, and I bet everything I own that even if it's frozen solid, it's still far better than anything on this ship."

He laughed, pushing the blankets off of him when she sat up. She let her gaze linger on him a moment as he gathered his clothes before she made her way to the bathroom, grabbing her robe along the way. Once she'd cleaned up and tied her robe back around her, she went back to her room, finding him sitting on the couch in just his pants. It brought a smile to her face as she picked up her plate, settling in next to him.

Shepard dug in to the still just barely warm plate, grunting her approval in between bites. Truthfully, she ate too fast to really taste it—her hunger pangs boiling over the second the first bite hit her tongue—but what her taste buds did pick up on was fantastic. She caught Thane watching her shovel it in, and he chuckled, taking his time with his own plate.

She finished, putting the plate on the table before picking up the glass of tea, guzzling half of it even though the ice had mostly melted, watering it down. She leaned over, kissing Thane on the cheek before standing up and stripping off her robe. Feeling his gaze on her as she dressed, Shepard glanced over and grinned. He smiled at her, returning his attention to his plate. She sat down on the edge of the bed, slipping on her boots before heading to the bathroom to retrieve her hairbrush.

When she returned, she sat down next to him, running the brush through her hair before pulling it back in a low ponytail. Finishing off her tea, she kissed Thane on the cheek again. "Thank you for cooking for me. It was fantastic, and now I won't starve to death."

He laughed, setting his plate aside. "Are you going down to talk to the Illusive Man?"

Shepard groaned, dropping her chin down to her chest. "Yeah. Suppose I should."

 _"_ _You could just have Kelly tell him to fuck off instead,"_ Jane offered.

Shepard snorted softly. "There's an idea," she thought, "but I doubt she'd be that easy to convince."

"And then to see Anderson, yes?" Thane raised a brow ridge.

She nodded once. "Mhmm. You want to come with me?"

"I do." He smiled. "If that's alright with you."

Jane scoffed. _"As if you'd tell him no about anything after that."_

"Shush," Shepard thought, resisting the urge to smile.

 _"_ _You do know that even if I'm not forefront in your thoughts, we can all still_ hear _everything you do;_ feel _everything you feel."_ Jane huffed. _"It's more than a little disturbing … especially for most of the men. John won't shut up about it."_

"Uh … I'm sorry?" Shepard turned her head a little to the side, arching her eyebrow. "It _is_ my body though, and I'm not going to just stop having sex because it's _disturbing_ for you."

Jane sighed noisily. _"I don't expect you to … I wouldn't in your shoes either; if the roles were reversed and Kaidan was still alive."_ A soft wave of sadness swept through their connection before Jane shut it down. _"Sorry. I know you tried. This time it was on him."_

"Yeah," she thought, her shoulder's collapsing, shoving her hands between her knees.

Memories from the others—the Shepards she supposed were now somehow more a part of her than even Jane was—began to surface, filling her mind with images of Kaidan's smiling face, the sound of his laughter, and simple conversations they shared.

"Siha?" Thane shifted, angling himself more toward her, and rested his hand on her back. "Is everything alright?"

She blinked, looking up to meet his gaze and forced a weak smile. "Yeah." She furrowed her brow, giving a slight shake of her head. "Yeah everything's fine." She cleared her throat. "Sorry, I was just talking with Jane … got distracted."

"Ah. Jane, are you well?" Thane slid his hand down her back before pulling it back to his lap.

Shepard chuckled and shook her head. "… so weird."

 _"_ _Don't … don't tell him I said it was disturbing."_ Jane hesitated a moment. _"Just tell him I was thinking about the people we've lost."_

"She's just thinking about the people we've lost." Shepard lifted her shoulders a little bit and smiled. "She'll be alright."

"I see. My deepest apologies." Thane turned his focus toward the photographs Shepard kept of her old crew.

 _"_ _I really don't want to talk about it right now; can you just do whatever it is you were doing? Please?"_ Jane asked.

Shepard cleared her throat again, pulling Thane's attention back to her before he could bring up the picture of Kaidan. "So, do you want to go with me to talk to the Illusive Man, too?"

 _"_ _Thank you."_ Jane pulled back to the recess of Shepard's mind, leaving her in mental silence once more.

Thane looked back at her, and dipped his head. "If you'd like."

"I would." She smiled, taking his hand in her own.

He squeezed her hand. "Very well."

Shepard grinned, waving a finger up and down at Thane. "You should go dressed like that. Maybe he'll be too distracted by your sexiness to give me shit."

Thane laughed. "Distraction for him, or for you?"

She ran a hand over his bare chest, leering at him. "Can't it be both?"

He took her hand, bringing it to his mouth to kiss. "I'll get dressed."

She gathered up their dishes while he finished dressing, and then they left her cabin, taking the elevator down to the mess hall. Shepard passed the dishes over to Gardner, who looked completely unhappy that Shepard ate something he didn't cook. She offered him a sympathetic smile, and reached over the counter to pat him on the arm, earning her a grin.

She looked up when she heard Garrus' voice, seeing him leaving the main battery with Grundan Krul. He stopped at the top of the stairs, his head swiveling in her direction as he scented the air. Grundan Krul glanced up, following Garrus' line of sight until he found Shepard. Garrus looked back and forth between Shepard and Thane, his mandibles fluttering lightly. Thane coughed gently into his fist. She felt Jane return, her curiosity piqued, but she had the courtesy not to say anything.

Shepard took Thane's hand in hers and squeezed reassuringly. Leaning over a little closer she whispered, "It's a part of sharing with a turian. We'll adjust."

He dipped his head, running his thumb along the back of her hand. "Indeed."

She glanced back at Garrus to see he'd turned his attention back to Grundan Krul; the batarian nodding every so often at whatever Garrus said. She waited a moment until it seemed their conversation was dying down before dragging Thane along with her as she crossed the mess hall to stand in front of Garrus.

She smiled at Grundan Krul when they both turned toward her before letting her focus stay on Garrus. "We're going to see what the Illusive Man wants, and then going to see Anderson. Do you want to come with us?"

"That depends." Garrus fluttered his mandibles, amusement creeping into his icy blue eyes. "Are you going to do your best to piss off the Illusive Man again?"

Shepard shrugged. "Probably."

Garrus smirked. "Then I'll be there."

Shepard grinned, turning her attention to Grundan Krul. "Garrus stole my coffee when I woke up. Would you mind making me some more? I could sure use it."

Grundan Krul looked back and forth between Shepard and Garrus. "I've been told the doctor doesn't want you having caffeine right now."

Shepard glanced at Garrus, narrowing her eyes. "He told you not to make me anymore, didn't he?"

Grundan Krul nodded once, confirming her suspicions.

"You know I outrank him." She arched her eyebrow.

He lifted his shoulders in a shrug, holding them there as he said, "He scares me more."

Jane snorted.

Shepard smiled, her lips pulling up to near maniacal levels. "Does he now?"

"You shouldn't have told her that." Garrus chuffed, shaking his head.

Grundan Krul gave her one of his rare smiles. "I've never woken up with you sitting across from me, scowling and muttering to yourself, while you use me as a fixed point to calibrate the scopes still attached to your weapons."

"One time. It happened one time, ages ago on Omega." Garrus stepped down to stand next to Shepard, fluttering his mandibles. "It's easier when I have a face to focus on."

Jane laughed; the sound bright and easy in Shepard's mind. _"There has to be more to that story."_

"That all it takes?" Shepard scoffed. "Too easy."

"Remind me and we'll ask him about it later," Shepard thought.

Jane's laughter eased to a stop. _"He won't tell you if he knows I'm interested."_

"You really shouldn't have told her that," Garrus repeated, crossing his arms over his chest.

She winked at the batarian who appeared completely unfazed by Garrus' warnings. "In the morning?"

Grundan Krul nodded his head. "In the morning." He lifted a hand in a half wave before turning and making his way back to the main battery.

"You're going to be in there at oh three hundred for coffee, aren't you?" Garrus jerked his head toward the main battery.

"Don't be ridiculous. That would require _me_ getting up at oh three hundred." She grinned. "EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard?"

Shepard watched Garrus, a slight smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Wake Grundan Krul up at oh three hundred, and tell him to have coffee waiting for me at oh five hundred and I won't show him why he should be more scared of me than Garrus."

Jane snickered. _"I almost feel bad for him."_

"Very well, Shepard."

"Thanks, EDI."

Thane chuckled and Shepard flashed a smile at him.

Garrus flicked a mandible. "Can I sleep in your room tonight?"

She shook her head from side to side, keeping her gaze locked on his. "Nope. You told him not to make me more coffee."

 _"_ _Seriously?"_ Jane asked.

"Yep," Shepard thought.

He chuffed, shrugging. "I'll share Jack's cot, then."

Shepard glanced back at the nearest intercom. "EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard?" A hint of amusement colored EDI's disembodied voice.

"Tell Jack that if she lets Garrus sleep with her tonight, there's a pretty good chance you'll be waking them both up at oh three hundred," she said, glancing back at Garrus as she delivered the final part, "and it'll be Garrus' fault."

Flaring his mandibles, he held his hands out, pleading. "Shepard … no … she'll kill me."

"As you wish, Shepard." EDI paused a moment. "Is there anyone else on the Normandy you would like for me to torture for you? I can sound the alarms. Empty a room of oxygen. Perhaps drop the drive core shielding in engineering?"

 _"_ _God damn, I forgot how scary she can be."_ Jane's voice filled with a strange mix of something akin to horror and awe.

"She's wonderful, isn't she?" Shepard thought, smirking.

She tipped her head to the side and hummed in mock contemplation. "No, I don't think so. Thanks, EDI." Shepard pressed up on her tip toes to kiss Garrus' jaw. "You don't come between a woman and her coffee; especially when one of her best friends is an AI who doesn't need to sleep and has a fantastically morbid sense of humor."

Garrus growled, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her off of her feet. "You're evil." He pressed his forehead against hers.

"Mhmm." She grinned, nodding her head against his.

His subvocals purred. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She kissed his nose, earning her a chuff of amusement.

He put her back down, draping an arm over her shoulder, turning her toward the elevators. "Hope you saved something for the Illusive Man."

"I'm sure if I lag, you can pick up my slack." She reached back, taking Thane's hand again.

They took the elevator up to the CIC, stopping long enough to ask Kelly to place the call to the Illusive Man before heading into the comm room. The table dropped down into the floor, and Shepard stepped into the QEC, Thane and Garrus at her sides. The grid rose up around them, showing her the Illusive Man sitting in his chair, glass tumbler and cigarette in hand.

"Shepard. I'm glad you found time in your busy schedule to call me back." He took a drag of his cigarette. "And you've brought your boyfriends with you. Any particular reason why?"

"I can't fit the entire crew in the QEC and these two are my favorites." Shepard lifted a shoulder. "I tell them everything you say anyway, figured it would save me some time. What can I do for you?"

He took a drink from his glass, swirling the ice around in the amber liquid. Shepard tucked her hands behind her back, waiting. He took a drag of his cigarette, glowing blue eyes trained on her but he didn't speak. Shepard blinked once, relaxing into her parade rest stance. Garrus shifted beside her, a soft rumble reaching her ears. Thane stood perfectly still in utter silence, undoubtedly taking in every detail he could make out in the low light. The Illusive man took another drag of his cigarette, tapping off the ashes in the ash tray before rolling the burning ember along the edge.

 _"_ _So … we're going to kill him and replace him with Miranda?"_ Jane studied the Illusive Man through Shepard's eyes as the silence stretched on.

"That's the plan," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _When?"_ Jane asked.

"I don't know yet. Soon," Shepard thought, mulling the idea over. "We need to plan it out carefully. Make sure Miranda's ready. And we can't move until we're certain we don't need her on the Normandy anymore."

 _"_ _She left Cerberus and the Normandy after the collector base, when I dismissed everyone before turning myself over to the Alliance."_

"You think we should wait until after the collector base?" Shepard thought.

Jane fell silent a moment and Shepard could feel her thinking. _"No. I think he'd be the most likely to anticipate something then. We need to catch him off guard, or he'll run."_

"Mmm. You're probably right." Shepard took a slow, deep breath as she talked with Jane. "I'm tired of standing here, are you tired of standing here?"

 _"_ _Yep."_

"Great talk." Shepard said to the Illusive Man, turning her back on him, putting one foot out of the QEC.

"Shepard," he said, calling her back.

She glanced over her shoulder. "Oh, are you done with your bullshit power plays? Because if you want to continue to sit there mentally jacking off for a while, I can come back later." She turned back, retaking her position in the QEC, waving a hand behind her. "I can even have EDI flood your servers with porn if you want."

"That won't be necessary, Shepard." He took another drag from his cigarette, stubbing it out in the ashtray. "I've been informed that you were recently in Sigurd's Cradle."

"I'm sorry, is there a question in there somewhere?" She raised an eyebrow.

The Illusive Man sighed, taking a drink from his tumbler before standing. Crossing the room to stand in front of the QEC—close enough she could gouge his cybernetically enhanced eyes out with her thumbs if only he were really there—his lips tugged up in a condescending smile. "I'd like to hear what you were doing in Sigurd's Cradle, and if you can find the time, perhaps you'd care to tell me about the reapers that were witnessed leaving twenty-one eighty-one Despoina."

"Well," she said, tucking her hands back behind her back, "obviously I was plotting to take over the galaxy with the reapers."

Jane groaned. _"And you said EDI has a morbid sense of humor."_

He pinched the bridge of his nose, and she smirked. Dropping his hand he looked back up at her. "Is this a joke to you, Shepard? I expected more from humanity's greatest legend. Human colonies are being attacked as we speak." He paced back and forth in front of her, waving his hands in obvious agitation. "Our people are being taken, Shepard. Like it or not, we need to work together on this. I've consistently provided you with intelligence and resources, but you've fought me every step of the way. If we're going to be successful here, Shepard, you need to meet me in the middle."

 _"_ _Can we just kill him now?"_

Shepard sighed. "They weren't reapers."

He stopped pacing, turning to look at her from the shadows. "The descriptions were pretty unmistakable."

"They're an ancient race that inadvertently created the reapers then hid from them when the reapers started slaughtering their people." She lifted her shoulder. "Tried to get them to help in the war. They declined."

The Illusive Man held her gaze as he lifted his drink to his mouth. Swallowing, he stared at her in silence for a minute before turning on his heel and returning to his chair. He lit another cigarette and watched Shepard for a moment. "Declined?"

She fought back the urge to cringe, thinking of the excruciating pain the leviathans inflicted on her. "Rather adamantly. Then they left. My guess is they're on their way to a new hiding place."

He swirled the ice around in his glass, crossing one leg over the other. "What do we know of this race?"

"We know that they're even bigger assholes than you are." Shepard deadpanned. "They communicate telepathically, and can use a form of contact similar to an asari's meld. Oh, and they can enthrall people." She crossed her arms over her chest, dropping her weight to one hip. "Why? Think you want to try to capture them? Lock them up in a cage and perform torturous experiments on them?" She arched her eyebrows in challenge. "Or do you save that especially for humans and other well-known sentient species?"

He sighed heavily, taking a swallow from his glass. "I do what needs to be done to assure humanity's place in galactic society, Shepard."

She scoffed, shaking her head. "The ends justify the means? We're still going with that?"

"You don't have to approve of my methods, Shepard. Your opinion means far less to me than you seem to think it does." He took a drag of his cigarette, setting his glass down on the arm of his chair. "The simple fact is that if not for my methods, you wouldn't be here now." Standing again, he took slow strides toward her, stuffing his free hand into his trouser pocket. "In fact … if not for my methods, you never would've made it off of Akuze."

Shepard's blood ran cold in her veins, her jaw clenching, muscles going rigid.

 _"_ _What?"_ Confusion washed over Jane, slipping through the cracks to tickle at the back of Shepard's mind. _"What's he talking about? He's never said anything about … we never found anything to indicate … what the hell is he talking about?"_

"Did you really think your skills saved you? Did you think you survived by luck?" He took a drag of his cigarette, blowing smoke toward her face only for it to swirl around the holographic grid surrounding her, making the blue light scatter and dance on his end. "Haven't you ever heard of an experimental control?" He smiled at her, cold and vicious.

Shepard felt white hot rage wash over her, sweeping through her with the force of every Shepard inside of her who ever lived through the horrors of Akuze. She trembled with the strength of will it took not to lunge forward, not to be taken in by the illusion the QEC presented her with, telling her that the Illusive Man stood inches away from her—easily within striking distance. Some distant part of her knew that if Jane wanted to, she could easily seize control just then. Memories rose up unbidden, both her own and a few of the others, reminding her of just what it felt like to run for her life, her team falling in groups behind her as thresher maws burst out of the ground, screeching and spitting acid … devouring any man or woman unlucky enough to be within the maws' reach.

He smirked, turning his back on her, making his way back to flick his ashes. "Tell me, Shepard. Would you say that surviving Akuze helped to push you to be the solider you are today? Helped to make you the best humanity has to offer?"

 _"_ _Tell him something for me."_ Jane seethed, her words coming out in a hiss. _"Tell him killing him has been one of my fondest memories. And I_ can't wait _to watch you put a bullet in him."_

Shepard sucked in a deep breath, letting it out slow, a crazed smile creeping across her face as she thought about watching the Illusive Man bleed out. "Jane would like you to know that killing you is her fondest memory. I'm sure it'll be mine, too." Shepard spun on her heel, stepping out of the QEC, Garrus and Thane right behind her. "Close the call, EDI."


	65. Chapter 42: Treason

**Chapter 42: Treason**

The airlock opened and Shepard drew up short. "Anderson … we were just coming to see you."

Anderson smiled but it didn't reach his eyes as he clasped his hands behind his back. "Well, I thought it might be nice to get out of the office for a little while. Stretch my legs. I hope you don't mind?"

She fought the urge to frown and start asking questions. She knew the look on his face all too well; the look that said he came with bad news. "Yeah, sure. Of course." Turning, she nearly bumped into Garrus as she swept her hand out toward the ship's interior.

Garrus and Thane parted, stepping aside to clear the way for Anderson. He nodded his head at the three of them as he stepped aboard. Shepard followed him, the airlock sliding closed again behind her.

Anderson glanced around, nodding at Joker when the pilot turned his seat around to wave. After a moment, Anderson let out a heavy sigh and met Shepard's gaze. "We need to talk, and I could use a drink."

Shepard pursed her lips. "My cabin or the ship's lounge?" She meant, 'How much privacy do we need? How much trouble are we talking about here?'

Anderson winced, just a faint tick at the corner of his eyes. "Let's go to your cabin, those couches looked comfortable." He glanced between Garrus and Thane. "How about it? You two want to join us for a drink?"

 _"_ _OK, so we know he's not here to talk Alliance secrets …."_ Jane said. _"Do you think he's here to talk about me?"_

"I don't know. Maybe. Or maybe the leviathans." Shepard mentally shrugged her shoulders. "Hell, it could be anything."

Thane bowed his head to Anderson.

Garrus nodded once. "Sure."

Shepard led the way to her cabin, the trip on the elevator filled with tense silence. Garrus coughed into his fist, his mandibles flaring when the cabin door opened. She realized, with an inward groan, the scent of her and Thane's time together must still linger, and she'd left the cabin without making her bed.

Shepard hurried in, stopping at the top of the stairs to block Anderson's view of her unkempt bed. It didn't matter if the Normandy was her ship, and neither of them were officially on Alliance duty; she didn't like the idea of Anderson seeing her bed not meeting standards. "Why don't you say hello to Spike while I tidy up downstairs?"

Anderson raised an eyebrow. "Spike?"

Thane held his hand out toward the tank, and Anderson turned to look. Garrus smirked at her, his mandibles fluttering lightly as he turned to talk to Anderson about the snake.

Shepard smiled at Thane before slipping down the stairs. "EDI," she said, keeping her voice low, "can you freshen up the air in here a bit?"

"Right away, Shepard," said EDI.

Shepard heard the quiet hum as EDI sped up the circulation of the air in the cabin. She straightened out the pillows, pulling the sheet and blanket into place and tucking it in around the edges. Making her way over to the couch, she flipped the cushions as an extra precaution before going back to her liquor cabinet to pour them drinks.

 _"_ _Garrus will just take it from you, too. Alcohol is worse than coffee for you right now,"_ Jane said when Shepard started to pour one for herself.

She sighed, opting to have water with Thane instead. "I let him get away with far too much."

 _"_ _We always do."_

Setting the drinks down on the coffee table, she made her way back up the stairs. Anderson glanced her way, handing Spike back over to Garrus. Shepard smiled, nodding toward the couches while Garrus put the snake back in the terrarium. They followed her back down the stairs, and she steered Anderson to the glass she poured for him, gesturing for him to sit down. She took the corner seat next to Anderson and sipped at her water, watching him with wary eyes. Garrus and Thane sat down with Garrus right beside her. Their gazes shifted between her and Anderson, but neither spoke.

Picking up his glass, Anderson sighed and took a heavy swallow. "You caused quite the panic with the Council, Shepard." He turned his glass back and forth in his fingertips. "There's … talk. Tevos thinks you crossed a line by approaching these … what'd you call them?"

"Leviathans. It's not their actual name, just what the researchers—talk of what, Anderson?" Shepard licked her lips, pushing herself to the edge of her seat.

Anderson sighed, taking another heavy swallow from his glass, leaving it empty. "Treason."

Shepard blinked, her heart slamming against her sternum. "Treason?"

 _"_ _Treason?"_ Jane all but screeched, her shock mirroring Shepard's.

Garrus sat forward, setting his drink down on the table, a low growl rumbling in his chest. "She hasn't done anything to warrant a charge of treason."

Thane stood without a word, moving to the liquor cabinet to retrieve two more glasses and the bottle of rum. Returning, he sat a glass down on the table in front of Shepard and filled it before pouring a little for himself. He gestured to Anderson's glass, and when the councilor nodded, Thane refilled his drink as well.

"Anderson?" Shepard licked her lips, feeling her fingers start to tremble as she struggled to wrap her head around what she might've possibly done wrong enough to be charged with treason.

"It's being decided whether you acted within protocol for first contact with another species." Anderson shook his head, taking a sip from his glass. "It's a damn witch hunt, Shepard. They're afraid these leviathans are going to attack, try to dominate the rest of us. And if that happens, they need someone to blame, as always."

Shepard bit back a bark of manic laughter, fighting against the pressure building in her head. "So, I guess I'm going to end up in prison either way." She picked up the glass in front of her and took a swallow, wincing at the way it rattled against the coffee table when she sat it back down. "I thought I had it covered this time, but instead of the Alliance coming after me to appease the batarians, the Council wants me behind bars to cover their own asses." She sucked in a deep breath, meeting his gaze. "Are you here to arrest me, Anderson?"

 _"_ _No, of course not. Anderson wouldn't … are you alright?"_ Jane's voice barely made it through over the growing buzz in Shepard's head.

She closed her eyes against the flood of memories sweeping over her. Pinching the bridge of her nose, the buzzing grew louder as she felt herself being put in handcuffs. Her heart thudded against her ribs as she remembered standing before the judge, waiting to hear her sentence, Anderson and Hackett at her sides. She opened her eyes, turning her attention back to Anderson when he grunted.

 _"_ _Dawn?"_

"Don't be ridiculous, Shepard. I'm here to tell you to leave the Citadel before they make up their damn minds." He shook his head, taking another swallow from his glass before sighing. "I'm putting up as much of a fight as I can. Valern and Quentius aren't quite sold on the idea, but they will be soon. I can tell. Almost makes me miss Sparatus. He's a stubborn old fool, but at least he's not so easily convinced to change his mind."

She took a deep breath, fighting to steady herself. "They're going to know you warned me off." She held his gaze, giving him a slow shake of her head. "Anderson, they'll charge you. I can't let that happen."

She'd let herself be taken in first. When the reapers came, they'd be more than ready to open her prison cell and beg her for help. It wouldn't be all that different than before. She knew enough now she'd tell Garrus what they needed to do to stop the collectors. She trusted him, he was a good leader, and he'd handle everything without her.

 _"_ _What if they don't let us out, though? What happens if someone else makes it to the Crucible? What if_ no one else _makes it to the Crucible?"_ Jane felt far more calm and rational than Shepard at the moment. _"You need to think about this, Dawn."_

"Damn it, Shepard! This is bigger than you or me." Anderson drained his glass again, carefully placing the empty cup down on the table. "Don't worry about me. Just get out of here. With any luck, this whole thing will blow over, but if it doesn't, we need you out there taking care of things and not locked up on the Citadel."

"Anderson …." She didn't know what to say.

"Now, Shepard. That's an order." Anderson stood, looking down at her. "You're the only one who really knows what we're facing and how to deal with it all."

Shepard stood, her shoulders heavy with the weight of Anderson's words, her chest tight as her heart raced inside of her. She saluted him, because there was nothing else she _could_ do; nothing else she _would_ do once he uttered those words. Anderson nodded his head, returning her salute before turning and walking up the stairs, leaving her cabin.

"EDI?" Her name came out like a croak, barely above a whisper. She licked her lips and tried again. "EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard?"

She sucked in a deep breath, letting it out slow. "Call the crew back. We're leaving the Citadel."

"Right away, Shepard." EDI's voice held a note of gravity fitting to the situation.

What would happen now? How long before the Council ordered Anderson's arrest? Would they keep him on the Citadel, or would the Alliance demand he serve his sentence with them? What if they didn't even give him a specific sentence, but just locked him up and threw away the key?

 _"_ _Dawn, hey, calm down."_ Soothing waves passed from Jane to Shepard, but it wasn't enough.

She collapsed back down to the couch, pressing the heel of her hand against her temple. Her head started to hurt, feeling full with the pressure inside of her skull, making her thoughts feel disjointed and somehow foreign.

 _"_ _Anderson will be alright. They may not even arrest him, but if they do, they'll treat him fairly enough."_

She couldn't breathe. Why couldn't she breathe? She tugged at the collar of her shirt and shook her head.

 _"_ _You're panicking, hyperventilating. You need to relax. Come on now, aren't you the one who's supposed to be holding me together?"_

"Shepard?" Garrus' voice cut through the din in her head, only to be swallowed up and lost to the rising tide.

She looked up, her gaze darting around the room, sliding over Garrus and past Thane. Nothing seemed real. Not them, not her bed, not the table in front of her.

"Siha?" Thane moved into her field of vision, pushing the coffee table back to crouch down in front of her.

"EDI, what's happening?" Garrus asked, his voice sounding strained and distant. "Is it Jane?"

 _"_ _What? No! This isn't me. I'm not doing anything. I'm just trying to help her!"_

"Shepard's biometric scans do not correspond to scans taken during previous attempts by Jane to assert control," EDI said. "I believe she is experiencing symptoms of an anxiety attack, and I have notified Dr. Chakwas. She is on her way now."

Thane lifted his hands to her cheeks, gently tugging her until she turned her head and found his gaze. "Breathe with me, siha." He took in a slow, deep breath and let it out again just as slowly.

 _"_ _Listen to him. Just breathe."_

Their words weren't making sense. Why were they talking about breathing? Anderson was going to be arrested. She couldn't let it happen. Earth needed him to lead the push against the reapers when they came. Oh gods, if they kept him on the Citadel, what would happen to him when the reapers moved the Citadel? Every time they got to the Citadel, everyone left in the station were already dead.

No! She'd save Anderson this time; The Illusive Man wouldn't be there to shoot him in the end if they did have to use the Crucible. But if he stayed on the Citadel … No! No! No! She tore her gaze away from Thane, seeking out Garrus. He'd do something, anything to make sure this wouldn't happen.

 _"_ _Shit. OK, what did Thane say before? Acknowledge it and let it go. It doesn't control you."_ Jane stirred in the back of Shepard's mind, her voice louder than anything else. _"Listen to his breathing. Breathe like him, you know it helps."_

Garrus frowned, his mandibles drooping, and he put a reassuring hand on her back. Thane urged her gaze back to him, still breathing in and out at a slow, measured pace. She nodded her head in his hands and tried to focus on his breathing.

 _"_ _Acknowledge and let go."_

"OK," Dawn croaked through her staggered breathing.

Thane's lips twitched at the corners but he kept his breathing steady. Shepard didn't hear her enter, but a moment later Dr. Chakwas appeared next to Thane. She kept her gaze locked on his, her breathing finally starting to slow, even if it remained a far cry from the practiced rise and falls he'd worked so hard to teach her.

The doctor opened her omni-tool, using it to scan Shepard before looking at the screen. Dr. Chakwas patted Thane on the shoulder, saying something to him Shepard didn't quite make out. Garrus stood with the doctor, moving off to the side where the two of them talked privately. She saw them in her peripheral, glancing over at her as they spoke.

 _"_ _Don't worry about them. Just focus on Thane and your breathing."_

Her breathing came slower and slower. After a few moments, she leaned forward, pressing her forehead against Thane's, using the contact to further center herself. He brushed his thumbs across her cheeks, and she closed her eyes, letting the sound of their now synchronized breathing fill her completely. All thoughts fled her, and he held her there, in that space of nothingness and timelessness, until slowly, the sounds of those around her began trickling back in.

She opened her eyes, searching out his gaze before pressing her lips to his and whispering, "Thank you."

"And thank you, too, Jane," Shepard thought.

"Of course, siha." He brushed his thumbs across her cheek once more before letting his fingers slip away from her face to take her hands instead.

 _"_ _Yeah. Glad I could help,"_ Jane said, relief heavy in her voice.

Shepard squeezed Thane's fingers, offering him a wane smile. "I'm fine." She pushed up from the couch, and he rose to his feet with her, still holding her hands. She turned her attention to Garrus and Dr. Chakwas before repeating, "I'm fine."

Garrus took a step toward her, his mandibles drooping. "Shepard, I don't—."

"Garrus, I'm fine." She pulled her hands from Thane's, and used them to push her hair out of her face. "EDI, I want everyone in the comm room once they're all back onboard. Tell Joker to prepare to take off, I want us out of here the second the last of the crew returns." Her gaze flicked between Garrus, Dr. Chakwas, and Thane. "The word 'treason' doesn't leave this room until the Council makes the call. Until then, we carry on as planned. Am I clear?"

 _"_ _You think that's the best idea?"_ Jane stirred with the restless feeling Shepard learned to associate with Jane not being too happy about something.

"For now at least. I'm barely holding on to things, I can't afford anymore doubt from the crew. Anderson might be right, it might just blow over," Shepard thought, squaring her shoulders.

"Yes, Commander." Dr. Chakwas nodded her head.

Garrus pulled his mandibles in tight against his face and gave her one short, curt nod of acceptance. She turned her gaze to Thane who bowed his head to her.

"As you wish, Shepard." EDI's voice rolled through the comms.

"Where are we going?" Garrus moved a little closer.

She edged past him, heading for her cabin door. She glanced over her shoulder, meeting Garrus' severe gaze as they all followed her to the elevator. "We need to get everything in place. We've got to take care of Cerberus, the Shadow Broker …" She sighed, rubbing a hand across her forehead as she hit the elevator call button. "… things with the Admiralty board, and Legion's going to need help to stop the heretic virus. We've got to get the reaper IFF."

She pinched the bridge of her nose, stepping on the elevator and turning to put her back against the wall. "The Admiralty Board. The sooner we get the quarians and geth cooperating, the easier things will be … and I need to get this over with before the Council declares me wanted for treason and brands me a rogue Spectre. Once word gets out …."

"What exactly did Anderson say if I might ask?" Dr. Chakwas studied Shepard with a drawn brow.

Shepard gave a light shake of her head, still having trouble coming to terms with it herself. "Basically the Council is afraid the leviathans are going to start attacking, and they're debating on whether or not my actions fell within protocol for first contact with a new species."

Jane snorted. _"Which is bullshit. Especially since they didn't give us anything on how to deal with a first contact situation."_

"As Jane just said, it's bullshit, they never even discussed protocol with me for a first contact situation." Shepard raked her hands through her hair.

"They're looking for someone to blame, and as usual, their pointing their fingers at Shepard." Garrus chuffed, pushing the button for the CIC and the elevator door slid closed, carrying the four of them down.

"I take it this didn't happen with you, Jane?" Dr. Chakwas studied Shepard, her features taking on less of the look of clinical appraisal and more of the concerned friend the longer they talked.

 _"_ _No, we never dealt with the leviathans until the reapers were already in the system. The leviathans never refused aid in the war, even if they did make it difficult."_

Shepard relayed Jane's statement before adding, "I don't think there's any way I could've handled this, even if I followed protocol to the 'T', that wouldn't end up with the Council throwing me under the bus once they realized how dangerous the leviathans are. The only thing that saved me before was the leviathans agreeing to help, but they didn't this time, so now the Council wants to charge me with treason."

"But there hasn't been an actual decision made?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"Not yet. Anderson came to warn me off before they'd made up their minds one way or the other." Shepard took a deep breath, letting it out slow. "And there's a good chance he's going to be arrested because of it … even if they _don't_ decide I'm guilty of treason."

"Dear God …." Dr. Chakwas raised a hand to Shepard's arm. "I'm sorry, Commander. I know how difficult this must be for you."

Shepard fought back the urge to snort. "Yeah, well, I'm not going to let his sacrifice be in vain. We've got a lot of ground left to cover, and I need to make sure all of you have what you need to handle things in my absence if it comes to it."

Silence descended, spreading through the small space, settling on her shoulders with all the weight of the galaxy.

Garrus cleared his throat. "Have you given further thought to Grundan Krul replacing the Shadow Broker?" He turned to face her, his arms crossed over his chest.

Her brow furrowed and she shook her head. "With everything else … I'd forgotten. You really think he's up for the job?"

Garrus nodded his head. "I do. I think he's the best option we have, Shepard." He reached out, running a hand along her arm. "I know you don't know him well, and he can never replace Liara … but he can do this." He hummed, moving a little closer to her. "And I think he'd be honored to have the chance to prove himself and help in the war."

Shepard pursed her lips and nodded. "Have you talked to him about it yet?" She felt Jane stir, but the other woman remained silent.

"No. I didn't think I should until you'd made up your mind." Garrus rubbed his hand up and down her arm again.

"Alright. We'll talk to him about it tonight, after we're out of here and I've had the chance to fill in the team about the leviathan mess." Shepard let out a heavy sigh as the elevator opened, stepping out in the CIC, leaving Dr. Chakwas behind.

The crew already started filtering in, disappointment dragging at their faces. She'd promised them a few more hours of shore leave, and now she couldn't even tell them why she made them come back aboard early. Sure, she _could_ tell them the Council was considering arresting her for treason, and she _could_ tell them Anderson gave her orders to hightail it out of there before they made up their minds … but she didn't think piling on maybes and what-ifs would do any of them any good right now. She needed them all focused, not finding new reasons to worry about her.

Mordin waved her over when she entered the tech labs. Shepard nodded Garrus and Thane on toward the comm room and crossed the floor to lean against Mordin's table. The salarian opened his omni-tool and scanned her. She frowned, but kept quiet, figuring the sooner she let him get whatever data he needed, the sooner she'd get on with her evening.

"Reviewed EDI and Legion's report." Mordin looked at the data readout on his omni-tool's screen. "Interesting concepts, show possibility. No way to prove." He shook his head, scanning her again before looking at his screen again. "Cortisol levels high. Adrenaline. Norepinephrine."

She cut him off before he got very far down that track. "I'm alright, just got out of a stressful meeting with the councilor on the heels of a very stressful meeting with the Illusive Man." Shepard shifted her weight, leaning forward a little more until he met her gaze again. "You think EDI and Legion might be right?"

Mordin blinked at her. "Theory is sound. Would take many years, dedicated research … with asari lifespan, perhaps. Still, irrelevant without data from triggering event. Many multiverse theories, none considered scientific fact. Suppositions made in report reflective of several theories. Have diagrams, can explain—." Mordin trailed off when the door to the tech lab opened, letting in a giggling Kasumi hanging from the arm of a laughing James.

Shepard smiled, happy for the interruption. Mordin could talk for days on the topic and she wouldn't be any closer to understanding. She got what she needed: a potential answer to how. How didn't do her much good without a 'how to stop', though, and she knew Mordin didn't have the answer. "Maybe later, Mordin. I need to do the debriefing. You're going to want to be in there when I start. You'll get to hear all about how the leviathans fucked me over."

Mordin beamed at her, taking the change of subject in stride as he walked with her to the comm room. "Ah, yes. Very excited to hear about the experience. Also interested in learning Council's reaction. Assume you told Council in meeting?"

"As much as I could without discussing Jane." Shepard lifted a shoulder.

They stepped into the comm room, and Shepard took a quick glance around. They were still missing Tali, Kal, Jack, and Grunt. The crowd parted, clearing her usual space, and she made her way to the table, resting her palms on the surface.

"EDI, when Tali and Kal arrive, please ask them to make sure Joker has the current coordinates for the Migrant Fleet." She glanced at Lia and Legion, standing side by side, as always. "We'll head to their location when we leave the Citadel."

EDI's hologram popped up in the middle of the table. "Tali and Kal are approaching the Normandy now, Shepard. I have relayed your request. Jack and Grunt are also on their way and should be arriving shortly."

"Thanks, EDI." Shepard nodded absently at the hologram.

"You're welcome, Shepard." The hologram collapsed in on itself, leaving the space empty once more.

A few minutes later Shepard felt the Normandy pulling away from the Citadel. She let out a heavy sigh, and steeled herself for whatever might come. The others entered the comm room, moving to fill in whatever empty spaces were available. All eyes turned to Shepard, watching her expectantly.

"Sorry to cut your shore leave short." She held her hand up to quite the soft grumbles and smiled. "It's what you get for agreeing to work with a Spectre." That earned her a couple of chuckles at least. "We're on our way to the Migrant Fleet to discuss some matters of a sensitive nature, as they pertain to the quarians and the geth, with the Admiralty Board. It shouldn't take too terribly long."

"We're nearing the final push for the collector base. There are still some things we need to take care of before then, and I hoped to have more time … but I don't think that's going to be the case." She took a deep breath, splaying her palms out on the table.

Anderson's words echoed in the back of her head. Unwanted memories swirled with a whole new list of concerns tugged at her mind, derailing her thoughts. Hanging her head, she squeezed her eyes closed, taking deep, steadying breaths. She heard murmurs rising, the sounds of her crew shifting with unease.

 _"_ _Just tell them. They deserve that much from us,"_ Jane said.

"Shepard?" Garrus put a hand on her shoulder, a light, tentative touch.

She shook her head. "I can't do this."

Garrus moved a little closer, ducking his head down closer to hers. "Do what?"

She looked up, her gaze roaming over her crew. The men and women … and AI's who'd entrusted her with their lives, and the lives of the entire galaxy. She couldn't keep telling herself the only thing that really mattered was finding a way to defeat the reapers permanently and end her own cycle. She'd be risking their lives to save her own. Before, facing a few months on house arrest with the Alliance wasn't too big of a deal, and she'd managed to work around it so far. But had she been charged for the Bahak system, the others would've all gone their separate ways. They'd go on to live their lives, growing as people, some of them finding redemption through their own good deeds.

Being charged with treason by the Council would be different … and they wouldn't just come after her. Each and every person on the Normandy stood the risk of being held accountable if they declared her rogue. How could she not warn them? How could she not give them the chance to back out?

"I wasn't going to tell you this yet," she said, the words coming out slow and disjointed, "but I can't justify risking any of you getting in trouble without even knowing what you're going into."

"Commander, what are you talking about?" Miranda pushed against the table, leaning toward Shepard.

She licked her lips, letting her gaze continue to roam, unable to meet and hold anyone's gaze. "Councilor Anderson just came here to warn me the Council is considering charging me with treason."

Their responses came immediately; everything she might've expected. A flurry of hissed questions flew her way, surprised gasps, grunts and grumbles, filling her head with an explosion of noise—sources coming from both outside and within. Garrus shifted beside her, and her head jerked to the side, her gaze latching on to him.

"Everyone, that's enough!" Miranda's voice cut through the din. "Commander? Treason for what?"

She held Garrus' gaze as she spoke, using him as her life raft in the storm. "I don't think they're entirely sure just yet. News of the leviathan's response on Despoina upset them. They're worried the leviathans will seize this opportunity to attack the galaxy." She licked her lips, dragging her gaze away from Garrus and looked back at Miranda. "Personally, I think it's highly unlikely. The leviathans have spent all this time hiding from the reapers, doing everything in their power to keep from being found. Starting a war with the galaxy when they know the reapers have already begun this cycle's harvest would do nothing but draw the reapers' attention."

"But, I can't easily explain my certainty to the Council … I can't tell them about Jane," she said, stopping to swallow and lick her lips, "and the others. So all they really know is I made contact with an ancient race, once powerful enough to force every other species in the galaxy to pay homage to them, and who are responsible for creating the reapers. I asked this race to join us in the fight against the reapers, and they forcefully declined, fleeing the planet instead."

She rubbed her forehead. "It's possible … I guess, the leviathans might have decided to go to another inhabited planet, enthrall the people who live there, and use them to help hide their presence."

"This is why you called us back?" Grunt shifted, crossing his meaty arms over his chest. "Because the Council is pissing themselves over the idea of greater enemies to fight?"

"She called us back because she's running instead of sticking around to be arrested." Jack smirked. "Smartest fucking thing she can do."

Jane snorted with amusement.

Shepard winced. "Anderson came to warn me of the Council's discussions. He risked himself so we have the chance to get away from the Citadel before they make up their mind and come for me."

James sucked in a noisy breath, letting it out with a whistle. "They're going to arrest Anderson for this, aren't they?"

Shepard turned her head to look at him and nodded. "Most likely."

"Damn." He shook his head. "Damn, Ídolo. What do you need from us?"

Shepard smiled, a wry thing tugging at the corners of her mouth. "I need all of you to decide whether or not you want to stick around for this. If the Council charges me with treason, and I don't come in to answer those charges, I'll be branded as a rogue Spectre—no better than Saren." She glanced across the room, letting her gaze connect with each person present. "Chances are … they'll hold each of you in the same light if you stick around."

Jack let out a loud bark of laughter. "Who gives a fuck about the Council? We're on a fucking Cerberus ship, and the Council would gladly lock me away for life anyway."

"As much as I hate to say it, Jack's right, Shepard." Jacob crossed his arms over his chest.

Jack snorted. "Fuck you."

"I'm just saying, look around you." Jacob made a show of looking over their motely group. "Most of us in this room are already on the Council's wanted list. The only thing keeping us safe in Council space is the fact you're a Spectre and you've claimed us as your crew."

Shepard shook her head. "Maybe … but not all of you." She looked pointedly at Samara standing next to Jacob before letting her gaze drift to the quarians, Mordin, Grunt, James, Grundan Krul, and Zaeed before finally settling on Garrus.

Garrus chuffed, crossing his arms and shaking his head. "Don't bother. You know there's nothing you can say that's going to make me leave."

"Garrus …."

"No, Shepard."

"Well I'm not going anywhere, Shepard," Grunt said, drawing her attention back to him. "Krogan don't leave their battlemasters, especially not when things are just starting to get interesting."

Shepard snorted, smiling despite herself.

"I have sworn my oath to you, Shepard." Samara stepped forward, resting her fingertips on the table. "I am not bound to the Council's laws; I am bound only to my Code and my Oath. I see no justice in their charging you with treason. I find no dishonor in staying with you for this mission."

"Thank you, Samara." Shepard dipped her head to the Justicar.

"Well I don't give a good goddamn fuck about the Council." Zaeed shrugged. "So long as you keep payin' me, I don't have any reason to leave."

"Quarian's technically aren't bound by Council laws, well beyond what any outsider coming into Council Space is while inside Council Space." Tali glanced between Kal and Lia, getting a short nod from each of them before turning her attention back to Shepard. "We're governed by the Migrant Fleet." Tali shrugged. "Unless the Admiralty Board tells us to leave the Normandy, we have no intentions of leaving you, Shepard."

She sighed, studying Tali with narrowed eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely, Shepard." Tali shifted. "Besides, if everything works out the way you expect it to, I think the Migrant Fleet will feel indebted to you enough to provide you with safe harbor if you asked for it."

Shepard chuckled, shaking her head and rubbing her brow, trying to imagine herself living aboard the Migrant Fleet or settling down on Rannoch. She let out a sigh and turned her attention to Grundan Krul.

He lifted his shoulder, tilting his head a little to meet it partway. "I'm batarian," he said, as if it should tell her all she needed to know.

She supposed it did. The Hegemony removed themselves from Council control long ago, and Grundan Krul never considered himself a part of the Hegemony, either. Besides, if Garrus was right, it'd soon be irrelevant, and Grundan Krul would be the galaxies next Shadow Broker. She nodded, offering him a smile of gratitude. The corners of his mouth twitched, and he returned the nod.

Mordin blinked at her when she turned her gaze to him; once, twice, three times, and when she didn't look away from him, he sniffed disdainfully. "Can't leave. Too much to do. Has to be me, someone else might get it wrong."

Shepard closed her eyes, shoving away the flood of memories brought on by the old, familiar phrase. Mordin _was not_ going to die this time. She'd already made sure of it. She sighed, opening her eyes and turning to James. "Vega?"

James scratched at a scar beneath his left eye. "I mean … they haven't even charged you with anything yet."

She pressed her lips together into a thin line. "I think the chances of them doing so are high."

"But I'm not with you under Council orders. I'm with you under the Alliance's orders. I'm just a marine, a grunt. I follow orders, do what I'm told … so until the Alliance changes those orders …."

An odd sense of relief and disappointment washed over her. She didn't really _want_ for James to disobey any orders from the Alliance, if they told him to leave, she'd be ready to kick his ass out of the airlock … but some part of her kind of wanted him to be willing to, to risk it all to stay with the Normandy until the bitter end.

Shepard swallowed and nodded her head. "Alright. You're all probably crazy, but alright."

It broke the tension, earning her a round of laughter and reassuring smiles. She risked a glance at Garrus, who watched her, his gaze intense, his mandibles tight against his jaw. She knew he'd have an earful for her when they left the comm room, but she needed to give him the same out she did everyone else. He didn't know how great he really was, he didn't know how important he'd truly be to his people when the reapers hit. How important he'd be if the Council did manage to pull the rug out from under her feet.

She turned her attention back to the group. "So, leviathan debriefing. Sorry it's a little late."

She spent the next hour or so going over everything that happened with the leviathans—in far greater detail than she'd like, for Mordin's sake. Unsurprisingly, he had more questions than she could really answer, but she did her best; describing their appearance, their method of communications, their enthrallment, and the severe pain they'd caused her. He took notes and then asked her double check them to be certain he'd recorded everything right. Although the others showed initial interest, even asking a few questions of their own, she knew Mordin would keep her talking for hours still if she let him, and the others were getting restless.

Shepard finally laid a hand on the salarian's shoulder to silence him. "I think that's enough for now, Mordin. If you have more questions, send me a list, and I'll try to answer them. Grundan Krul, I need to speak to you for a moment. Everyone else, dismissed."

"Want me to stick around?" Garrus asked, pulling her into him and pressing his forehead against hers.

She thought about it for a second. "Nah, we seem to do alright talking when things are quiet around us." She didn't mention she also didn't want Grundan Krul to be influenced by Garrus' presence. She knew eventually the two would talk about it in private, but she wanted to make it clear this needed to be Grundan Krul's choice, because the responsibility and power she offered was far too heavy to take on for any other reason.

"Alright." He kissed her, just a quick press of his mouth against hers. "Come talk to me later?"

She nodded, kissing him again before pulling away from his embrace. The others had mostly already left the room, and soon it was quiet, leaving her alone with Grundan Krul. She glanced at the batarian before pushing herself up to sit on the table.

Shepard turned, pulling her feet up to cross them at the ankle, and looped her arms around her knees, barely leaving herself any space between her ass and the edges of the ringed surface. "Sit with me. It can hold both our weight."

The batarian moved over to the table, pulling himself up a few feet from her and waited in silence. It had to be one of the things she'd most come to enjoy about Grundan Krul; he seemed to be a bottomless fount of patience, content to let her say what she wanted to say in her own time.

She scraped her teeth over her bottom lip, trying to decide where to start. "You've heard us talk about Liara?"

He nodded, turning a little on the table to more easily look at her. "She was a part of your old crew. She died when the last ship was attacked."

Shepard nodded, ignoring the twinge of pain that came with the reminder. "That's never happened before." She paused putting her thoughts together. "Liara's never died during the collector attack. But I always do. Normally, she's the one to get my body back from the Shadow Broker's thugs and give me to Cerberus to bring me back to life."

She watched Grundan Krul for a moment, he didn't say anything, and she didn't expect him to. She took a deep breath and continued, "Liara would've replaced the Shadow Broker. Her efforts as the Shadow Broker to help in the war were absolutely invaluable, but perhaps more than anything, having someone we knew and trusted not to work against us in the war for profit's sake …."

His black eyes moved, his gaze searching her face. She saw he'd begun to puzzle it out, putting the pieces together and preparing himself for what she was about to say next. Shepard smiled.

"We need someone to take her place. Someone who is capable of managing the Shadow Broker's resources and agents. No one—well mostly no one—knows who the Shadow Broker really is, and he uses sophisticated equipment and networking to keep his identity secret." She waved a hand at him. "Garrus thinks you're up to the task." She felt Jane focused on the vigilante, watching him through her eyes, weighing out his reactions just as much as she was.

His jaw dropped a little, his eyelids fluttering over all four eyes. "Archangel wants _me_ to be the Shadow Broker?"

Shepard grinned, loving the reaction, no matter how subtle. "Does he make you still call him Archangel?"

Grundan Krul cracked a smile, chuckling lightly, the sound almost reminding her of a cat coughing. "No," he said, shaking his head, "it's just what I'm used to."

Jane sighed. _"I really hope he's the right choice. Nothing against the guy personally, but we don't really know him."_

"But we trust Garrus' judgement," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Fair enough,"_ Jane said.

Her smile softened. "This has to be your call, Grundan Krul. You've got a little time to think about it, and I'll tell you everything I can about what to expect and what I'd need from you. But in the end, I know it's a huge thing I'm asking … and I understand if it's more than you want to take on."

He looked down at his lap, his brow furrowing. "You're sure _you_ want me to do this?"

Jane stirred, remorse rolling off of her. _"Tell him I'm sorry, for what I said before. It was heartless, and unnecessary."_

"Jane wants me to tell you she's sorry for what she said to you before. She says it was heartless and unnecessary." Shepard bit the inside of her cheek, watching him.

He met her gaze, and gave her a slight shake of his head. "That's not what I mean."

Shepard swallowed, realizing he meant their past; everything he'd told her about Mindoir, who his father was …. "You're not responsible for what your father did, Grundan Krul." She dropped her legs from the table, standing up and facing him with crossed arms. "I don't judge people by the fucked up things their families do. You came to me with that information on your own, you didn't have to do it; most wouldn't have. That alone tells me a lot about what kind of man you are."

Lifting her shoulders, she smirked. "Trust me; I'm far more thrown by not having thousands of memories of you to sift through than I am what your father did. I guess I'm a little spoiled for the intel Jane provides. But you come with a damn good reference. If Garrus trusts you, so do I."

Grundan Krul held her gaze, his eyes searching her own. Finally, he nodded his head and slipped down from the table, extending his hand to Shepard. "I'll do it."


	66. Chapter 43: Two Birds, One Stone

**Chapter 43: Two Birds, One Stone**

Shepard stretched, rolling over to find Thane's side of the bed empty, the sheets cold. Opening her eyes she glanced around the room, finding him sitting on the floor, eyes closed in meditation. She smiled, pushing herself up and out of the bed, grabbing her robe and slipping it on. He held his hand out to her, eyes still closed, inviting her to join him, so she did. Sitting on the floor in front of him, she shut her eyes and listened, finding his breathing pattern and matching it with her own.

They sat there, sharing their moment of silent contemplation for countless minutes until the door to her cabin slid open. She opened her eyes, glancing up the stairs to find Garrus step inside carrying a steaming mug. The rich scent of Grundan Krul's coffee hit her nose a moment later, ratcheting her smile up a notch.

Shepard leaned over, pressing a quick kiss to Thane's mouth. "Sorry, coffee trumps meditation."

He chuckled, rising to his feet with her. "You wound me."

She winked at him. Making her way up the stairs to greet Garrus, she took the coffee from his hand before rising up on her tiptoes to kiss him. "Good morning."

"Hmmm. Easy for you to say. You weren't woken up an hour early by a sadistic AI acting on the orders of an even more sadistic commander. I think you made your point when you told him you were going to make him the Shadow Broker." He wrapped a hand around her waist and leaned down, pressing his forehead to hers. "Good morning."

Shepard grinned, lifting the cup to her mouth, blowing away the steam before taking a sip and moaning. "I meant to tell her to forget the wakeup call, but I got distracted."

He chuffed. "If you're trying to shift the blame to Thane, it's not going to work."

"Oh no, I take full responsibility. The distraction was entirely my doing." She took another drink from her mug, fighting back the urge to go into detail of just how distracting her night was more for Thane's modesty than Garrus' sake.

Thane coughed; the quiet, delicate sound he made when embarrassed or—as she'd come to realize—to announce his presence when approaching from behind. Which it reason made him cough now, she wasn't sure, and glancing over her shoulder at him told her nothing of what he might be thinking. He made his way up the stairs, stopping at her side, resting a hand on the small of her back.

"Do you require my presence to speak with the Admiralty Board this morning, siha?" He leaned over to kiss her when she shook her head. "Then I shall return to the life support, the drier air will do me some good."

She winced but nodded her head. "EDI? Can you adjust the humidity level in the cabin when Thane's with me? Make it closer to the levels of life support?"

"As you wish, Shepard," EDI said.

"That is kind of you. Thank you, siha, and you EDI." He rubbed small circles on her back before dropping his hand, tucking both hands behind his back.

"You are quite welcome, Thane." EDI's hologram collapsed, folding in on itself before disappearing again.

He dipped his head to Garrus who returned the gesture before making his way to the door. Garrus turned to the side, watching the door close behind Thane before pulling out her desk chair, motioning for her to sit down. She pursed her lips, but sat down, sipping her coffee. His gaze roamed over her, his talons drumming a beat on the surface of her desk. She arched an eyebrow, watching him over the top of her mug. She could tell he had something he wanted to say, so she waited him out.

His mandibles fluttered, and he squatted down in front of her, resting his hands on her knees. "I received a message from an old friend back at C-Sec … Anderson's been arrested, though the charges have been classified on Council orders." He eased the cup from her hands, setting it down on the desk before closing his hands around her waist. "I'm sorry, Dawn."

Tears, hot and stinging like acid, filled her eyes. She took a shuddering breath, fighting back the panic she felt welling up inside, threatening to drag her back down into the abyss. Squeezing her eyes shut, she shook her head, trying to remember a time when she didn't feel like she hovered on the brink of a complete mental breakdown.

 _"_ _I'm sorry …."_ Jane whispered in her mind. _"I'm so, so sorry."_

"Yeah … me, too," Shepard thought. She could feel the pain the news caused Jane just as much as she could her own; just as much as she could the echoes coming from—she supposed—those she'd absorbed. Leaning forward, she wrapped her arms around his neck, hiding her face in the crook of her arm. She clung to him, using him as an anchor, keeping her afloat in the sea of grief threatening to sweep her away.

He held her, letting her cry for a few minutes before he pulled back, brushing her tears away with his thumb. "Come on. Come with me." He tugged at her, helping her to her feet before leading her to the bathroom. Starting the shower, he adjusted the knobs until the room started to fill with steam. "I'll be right back." He stepped out of the bathroom, leaving her by herself.

She took the moment alone to use the toilet and blow her nose before stripping off her robe and stepping into the shower, sucking in a breath as the nearly scalding water pelted her skin. A couple of minutes later, Garrus returned, having undressed. He got in the shower with her, wrapping his arms around her again. He hummed, the vibrations passing into her, low and soothing, warming her from the inside as the water warmed her from the outside.

When at last her shoulders stopped shaking with her sobs, Garrus let go of her, picking up her soap and a washcloth. He worked up a lather and then began washing her, first her arms, and then her chest and stomach. He cleaned her, front and back, being so gentle … he was so rarely gentle anymore, even in their most tender moments. She had only herself to blame, everything she put him through … how could she expect him to not come out the other side a little harder, a little colder than ever before? He worked so hard to hide it from her, and most days he succeeded, but she could still see it when she looked in his eyes.

Not this time, though. When she met his gaze as he rinsed out the washcloth, all she saw was love and a shared sorrow. Garrus draped the washcloth over the railing before pulling her back into his embrace, shifting them beneath the shower's spray until he shared it with her. She rubbed her face against the slick plating of his chest, finding she wanted desperately to be as close to him as humanly possible. He hummed, his fingers kneading at the tight muscles in the back of her neck.

She looked up, sliding her hands around his neck, pulling him down to her. She kissed him, letting her hands trail over his body, her fingers searching out the sensitive, bare hide where plates didn't form.

Pulling his mouth from hers, he chuffed, cupping her face. "And here I am trying to be a good, supportive boyfriend." Brushing his thumb over her jaw, his voice took on a more serious tone. "You're hurting, Dawn. I just want to be here for you, I didn't come in here to seduce you."

"I know." She pushed her forehead against his. "I know, and I love you so much for being here. I just … I need to be closer to you." She raked her teeth over her lip and whispered, "Make love to me, Garrus."

His mandibles flared and he hummed, nearly a growl, deep in his chest. Returning his mouth to hers, he edged her backwards until her back pressed against the wall. Hooking his hands beneath her ass, he lifted her, wrapping her legs around his waist. He made love to her, there in the shower surrounded by steam and heat, with the same gentle touch he'd used to wash her.

She missed the soft moments with him so much. Not that she had anything to complain about with the sex they did have, but there were times when she missed the tenderness that once came so easy, so natural to him. Her heart swelled in her chest with his every thrust, making her feel as if nothing else in the entire galaxy mattered in those shared moments; not the reapers or the collectors, not the leviathans, nor the threat of being charged with treason. Not even the thought of Anderson, locked away in some cell because of her, could touch her with Garrus inside of her.

When they were finished, he dried her off, wrapping her in a towel before tending to himself. She watched him as he dressed, taking in the sharp angles of his body and wondering if he knew just how beautiful he really was. Pulling on her own clothes, she smiled, feeling lighter than she had in days, even if she knew it wouldn't last. She looked up when his arms slipped around her from behind. He nudged the side of her head with his and she smiled, reaching up to run her fingers over his mandible.

"I love you." He pulled her in against him a little tighter.

"I love you, too. More than I'll ever have the words to express." She turned in his arms to kiss him. "I'm sorry I've put you through so much hell, Garrus. Thank you for sticking with me through all of this."

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be." He flared his mandibles, taking a deep breath. "Now, are you ready to go try to convince the entire quarian race they need to make peace with their mortal enemies?"

She scoffed, chuckling. "No, but I'm going to anyway. Let's just hope it goes better than things did with the leviathans."

His mandibles fluttered, glaciers inching back in over his eyes, and she frowned, cursing herself. He kissed her again—even his mouth against hers feeling a little more distant—before letting her go to put on his armor. She sighed, heading up the stairs to drain her cold coffee before going into the bathroom to run the brush through her hair, already feeling the heaviness settling back in around her shoulders.

 _"_ _He's just trying to protect himself a little,"_ Jane said.

"I know. I'm not holding it against him, but it still hurts," she whispered, setting the brush back down on the counter.

Shepard met Garrus at the door, and they took the elevator down together, standing next to each other in silence. After a quick trip to the mess to grab a protein bar and refill her coffee, they made their way to the comm room, asking EDI to call in the quarians and Legion. Lia and Legion were the first to arrive, inseparable as always, it seemed. The young quarian held the geth's arm as he led her through the door.

"Hey, you. You ready for your big moment?" Shepard flashed her—what she hoped was—a reassuring smile.

Lia's grip tightened on Legion, and she gave her head a little shake. "Honestly? I'm a little terrified. What if they don't listen? What if they arrest me instead?"

Shepard crossed her arms over her chest. "We're not going to let that happen."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Lia dropped Legion's arm and began wringing her hands. "Shepard, if the Admiralty Board wants to arrest me … I don't want to be the cause for bloodshed between you and my people."

Shepard drew her brow in, a frown tugging at her lips. She opened her mouth to speak, but only thought to herself instead, "Gods, what must she think of me and all of this?"

 _"_ _Our hands aren't exactly clean of blood."_ Jane left Shepard with the impression of her shrugging. _"We're soldiers. Spectres. We make the tough calls, we always have. And it's resulted in a lot of bloodshed."_

"Not helping," Shepard thought.

 _"_ _Sorry,"_ Jane said.

The door slid open, letting Tali and Kal inside, drawing Lia's attention away from Shepard. Garrus settled a hand down on Shepard's shoulder, squeezing gently before letting it fall away again. She cleared her throat and turned her smile on the two new additions.

"Good morning." She pressed her palms to the table, leaning forward. "We're not far from the Migrant Fleet. Joker's ready to hail them whenever we're ready. Before we do, though, I thought we should discuss a few things." She paused while they all nodded their agreement. "For starters, we need to decide exactly what we want to tell them. I also think it might be best if we can attempt to convince the Admiralty Board—or at least one of them—to come aboard the Normandy. If we can discuss the situation with them here before bringing Legion to the Migrant Fleet, it might help prevent some of the panic."

Kal shook his head. "I'm sorry, Commander. The Admiralty Board will never convene outside of the Flotilla. All meetings of the Admiralty Board are held in the open where all quarians can give their input. There are no secrets among the quarian people. There's also no way to have all of the admirals away from the Fleet at the same time. It goes against our laws."

Shepard nodded her head. "I figured it'd be a long shot. What are the chances of getting just one or two of them to come aboard?"

He lifted his shoulder. "There's nothing against it, if you can convince them. I think you'd have to give them a damn good reason. No offense, ma'am, but this is a Cerberus vessel."

"Well, maybe Auntie Raan. I think she might come if I ask." Tali glanced between Shepard and Kal.

 _"_ _We should try for Zaal'Koris vas Qwib-Qwib, too."_ Jane laughed. _"If nothing else, we won't miss our chance to hear him defend the Qwib-Qwib, or talk about respectably named ships. Because there's nothing odd about being named Zaal'Koris vas Defrahnz or vas Iktomi."_

She ducked her head to hide her grin. "Shala'Raan would definitely be a good choice. I'd really like to try to get Zaal'Koris if we can. His views on the geth will make him the easiest to convince."

Tali scoffed, crossing her arms and cocking a hip. "Good luck with that, Shepard. Admiral Zaal'Koris hates me."

 _"_ _Tell her it's not true,"_ Jane said. _"He doesn't hate her."_

"Jane says it's not true," Shepard said, shaking her head. "He doesn't trust your father because of his goals of using force to take back Rannoch, and some of his mistrust extends to you, but he doesn't hate you."

"Oh. Well, I guess that's good to know, but I still don't see it happening." Tali lifted her shoulders before letting them drop again, shaking her head.

"I … I might be able to convince the admiral to come aboard if you can get me in contact with him." Lia stepped up to the table, Legion moving at her side. "He was born on the Ulnay. I don't know if it will hold much weight with him, but even though a quarian changes ships after the Pilgrimage, we tend to keep ties to our birth ship as well, and I had hoped to join the Qwib-Qwib after my Pilgrimage."

"Excellent. Tali, is there a way for us to get in touch with him privately?" Shepard raised her eyebrows, hope and Jane's humor starting to lift her spirits again.

Tali and Kal shared a look before she met Shepard's gaze again, pulling her shoulders up and in. "I don't have his personal contact information. I suppose Auntie Raan would. Maybe if I talk to her first, I can convince her to put us in contact with Zaal'Koris."

"Sounds like our best shot." Shepard pushed away from the table, pacing the floor. "Assuming you're able to convince the admirals to come aboard, how do the three of you want to handle sharing the news?"

"I think we should start by talking with them without Legion," Tali said, glancing over at the geth. "Sorry, no offense Legion. I just think we should prepare them before we introduce you to them. With the history between the geth and the quarians …."

 _"_ _No, she's right. If you're going to do this, it needs to be handled as delicately as possible. In my time, the decision came while they were staring down geth ships in the middle of a war, there wasn't time for delicacy, but there also wasn't time for mass hysteria."_

"We do not experience offense, Creator Zorah." Legion shifted next to Lia, turning his head to look at her.

"She's right. If we bring them in here and throw her in a room with Legion with no warning, they're not going to be calm enough to listen to reason." Garrus stepped up beside Shepard, resting his hand on her shoulder, stopping her pacing.

"Jane pretty much just said the same thing." Shepard rubbed her forehead. "So, we'll have Legion wait down in the AI core and bring the admirals to the comm room."

"I hate to ask this, Commander, but I would appreciate it if we don't tell the admirals Tali and I encountered Legion first." Kal lowered his head a fraction. "I'm afraid the way we responded to the situation was a breech in protocol." He turned to look at Tali.

Tali took his hand, stepping closer to him but directed her response to Shepard. "He wouldn't have ever broken protocol if it weren't for me."

Shepard's gaze slid to Legion. "Legion, can you refrain from mentioning your encounters with Tali and Kal on Alchera? If the quarians ask, can you just say I found you there?"

Legion's optic iris opened and closed, the metal plates surrounding it fluttering in simulated confusion. After a moment's pause he nodded his head. "Yes."

"Legion?" Lia rested her hand on his arm. "Are you sure?" She shifted her weight from foot to foot. "I didn't think lying was a part of your programming. I mean, withholding information, sure, but actually lying?"

EDI's hologram popped up in the middle of the table. "In the words of Carl Gustav Jung, 'The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.' Or, if you prefer, as John Steinbeck phrased the same concept, 'When two people meet, each one is changed by the other so you got two new people.'"

"You're saying all of the time Lia spent with Legion changed him as much as it has her?" Garrus asked, his mandibles fluttering.

"Precisely." EDI's hologram rotated to face Garrus. "The moment Legion left the Perseus Veil in search of Shepard it became inevitable the geth programs would be changed by their interactions with organics. Just as I have changed, and continue to grow."

"I … I taught Legion how to lie?" Lia turned, taking in the geth at her side.

Legion looked at her, turning to face her, mimicking her body language. "Yes."

 _"_ _I never realized …. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not,"_ Jane said. _"When he goes back to a central hub, Lia will have effectively taught_ all _geth how to lie."_

Shepard let out a low whistle, drawing everyone's attention back to her. She cleared her throat and plastered a smile on her face, refusing to let any doubt show. "Well then. That's settled. Anything else we should consider?"

"Jane." Garrus held her gaze, mandibles still at the sides of his face.

 _"_ _Yes? Is he talking to me?"_ Jane perked up.

"She's asking if you're talking to her." Shepard held her breath.

Garrus looked away from her and shook his head. "No, I meant we should probably make sure no one mentions Jane to the admirals."

 _"_ _Oh."_ A heavy sadness passed from Jane to Shepard. _"Of course."_

"Right." Shepard let out her breath in a sigh. "Legion, don't mention I have multiple programs running in my platform, either, alright?"

"We understand, Shepard-Commander," Legion said.

She nodded her head. "Good. Anything else?" She raised an eyebrow, letting her gaze roam over everyone in the room. When no one had anything else to say, she sucked in a deep breath and said, "OK then. We'll leave you three to contact the admirals. When you have confirmation, one of you will need to be in the cockpit to smooth approach to the Flotilla. It will also be best if you're there to greet the admirals when they enter the Normandy. Dismissed for now."

"I can go to the cockpit and hail the Migrant Fleet now, if you'd like, ma'am. I don't need to be a part of the calls," Kal said, leaving only once Shepard dipped his head to him.

She left the comm room as Tali opened her omni-tool to call her family's oldest friend, taking a giant leap of faith in Shepard and putting her people at risk. Her loyalty and trust weren't lost on Shepard; oddly enough it both warmed and broke her heart. So much had already changed, there were no guarantees anymore. There was every possibility the Migrant Fleet might react with horror, rejecting Legion's offer of peace and instead of preventing the war between the geth and quarians, it might actually jump start things.

Pulling up short of the doors to the tech labs, she turned to face Garrus and Legion following behind her. "Do you have any concerns about the meeting with the admirals, Legion? Anything we need to address before they come aboard?" She watched as the geth platform stilled, his head tilted slightly to the side—so like herself and many other organics, lost in thought, considering their options.

After a moment, the plates around his optics fluttered. "Scenario projections include the possibility the creator's vessels will fire on the Normandy after learning we are housed aboard Shepard-Commander's ship."

 _"_ _That would risk bringing the Council down on them, whether or not they're in Council space. They know you're a Spectre—at least for now."_

Garrus flared his mandibles, his eyes widening as he glanced between Legion and Shepard.

She pursed her lips and shook her head. "I suppose it is possible, but I find it highly unlikely. As Jane just pointed out, I'm still a Spectre and as far as they know, attacking my ship would be the equivalent of attacking the Council. I doubt that's a fight they'd want to start over one geth platform."

She shrugged. "Besides, some of the other versions of me have walked right onto one of their ships to attend a treason hearing involving Tali with you right there at our side." She bobbed her head side to side. "Granted, it did cause a little bit of a commotion, but overall they accepted you as a part of my crew. The circumstances surrounding your introduction to the quarians are different this time. We're not asking them to accept you for the duration of a trial, but to engage with you in peace talks. There's a lot at stake, so we want to make sure we keep the introductions as pleasant as possible."

"We do not know what to expect from the creators Raan and Koris." Legion shifted his weight, the plating around his optics flaring wide before settling down once more.

"I chose Shala'Raan and Zaal'Koris because I think they are the most likely to hear us out and aid us." Shepard leaned against the wall, crossing her arms loosely over her chest. "Shala'Raan is very close to Tali, which will sway her to listen to everything we have to say before taking any action, and whatever action she takes will as much as possible, take Tali's wellbeing into consideration."

"Which means Admiral Raan will want to do whatever she can to avoid having the Migrant Fleet fire on the Normandy, especially while Tali's on board." Garrus nodded a little when Legion turned to look at him.

 _"_ _Well, yeah, there's that, too."_

"Zaal'Koris is an outspoken advocate of leaving the geth to live in peace and colonizing a new homeworld; as opposed to the idea of attempting to reclaim Rannoch by force and destroying the geth." Shepard lifted the corner of her mouth in a half smile as Legion's platting fluttered at the tidbit of information. "Unlike many of the quarians, he believes once the geth gained sentience, they gained the right to life and autonomy. I believe he will be eager to hear what you have to say and to work with you however possible to the advantage of both the quarians and the geth." She watched Legion in silence for a moment, and when the geth didn't say anything else, she asked, "Was that all you wanted to talk about?"

"Yes." Legion nodded, just one quick, short dip of his head.

"Alright. I'll let you know when we're ready for you in the comm room." Shepard pushed off of the wall, moving to the tech lab doors.

Legion and Garrus passed on through the tech labs and out to the CIC, but Shepard lingered a moment. She let her feet turn away from the CIC doors, and crossed the floor to stand in front of the collector suspended inside of the stasis tank in the labs. Staring into the lifeless eyes, she still couldn't shake the feeling the collector somehow watched her, gazing into her soul and taking her measure. Mordin assured her time and time again there was no brain activity coming from the collector, but she wasn't so sure it meant Harbinger couldn't still see through its eyes.

Reports on collector activity had long since broken from the pattern she'd come to expect from Jane's memories, but then again, so had everything else she'd encountered in the galaxy. Still, why had they changed their patterns? Why weren't they attacking the same locations at the same times? It didn't seem feasible to her the few changes she'd managed to create during her cycle would be so far reaching, would mean anything to the reapers and their collector soldiers, causing them to deviate from their plans.

Sure, they're not choosing Horizon as a place of attack could be attributed to her changes. After all, they long suspected Ashley or Kaidan's presence on Horizon, and their connection to the Normandy and Shepard, that led the collectors there in the first place. Especially considering the same damn ship took out the Normandy, and lured Shepard into a trap with the Illusive Man's help. With both Ashley and Kaidan dead, she wasn't surprised Horizon became a lesser priority, but what about the other locations? Ferris Fields and New Canton hadn't been hit either, not yet at least, and things were getting close to the finish line. What have they been doing? Were any other places hit she didn't know about?

 _"_ _You think they're planning something different?"_ Jane stirred, as restless with the idea as Shepard felt.

"Maybe," Shepard muttered before speaking out into the room, knowing the AI was always listening. "EDI, compile me a list of all the human colonies hit by the collectors so far. Scour news sources, look for any sightings anywhere else, or anything our sources might have missed. Send it to my inbox."

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said.

She glanced over her shoulder at Mordin, finding the salarian with his eye to a microscope as he muttered to himself. Turning her attention back to the collector, she stared at it a moment longer. As she backed away from the tank, she kept her gaze on its eyes, and once again she could swear the black pools followed her movements. Tearing her gaze away from the tank, she made her way to Mordin's work station.

"Analyzing Maleon's data." His gaze flickered to hers in acknowledgement before fixating once again on whatever he was looking at through the microscope. "Obtained tissue sample from Grunt. Will require other samples from krogan not tank bred to extrapolate cure, but sufficient for initial studies."

Shepard chuckled. "Has anyone ever told you how incredibly brave you are, Mordin?"

Mordin sniffed, looking up at Shepard as if he were about to say something but stopped when the door to the CIC slid open. Garrus walked in, zeroing in on Shepard as he crossed the floor in long strides.

Coming to a stop next to her, he put his hand on the table. "There's been riots on the Citadel over Anderson's arrest." His mandibles fluttered. "The Council's refusal to announce what charges they're holding him on has led to the speculation the Council is working with The Dissension to remove humans from power."

 _"_ _Hell, maybe they are. This whole leviathan treason crap—especially when they admit they know what's coming—seems like a far stretch."_ Jane's words did absolutely nothing to make the situation seem any better. _"Us and Anderson. Two birds, one stone."_

Shepard groaned and scrubbed her hands over her face before tilting her head back to stare at the ceiling. "Alright, Jane. I get it." She lifted her head, turning her attention back to Garrus. "How bad is it?"

He shook his head. "C-Sec has it mostly under control, but there's been property damage and injuries … a few casualties. A lot of arrests have been made."

"Fantastic." She took in a deep breath and let it out slow, rubbing at her forehead. "I'm trying to prevent wars between the quarians and the geth to help get the galaxy ready for a bigger threat, meanwhile everyone is determined to stir the pot and see what new troubles it can come up with."

Just then the doors leading to the comm room opened, letting in Tali and Lia. Tali halted in her tracks when she saw Shepard, her shoulder's slumping a little as she asked, "What's happened?"

"Nothing you need to worry about right now, Tali. Did you get a hold of the admirals?" Shepard forced the lines in her brow to relax, letting a hopeful smile spread across her face as she squared her shoulders.

"It wasn't easy, but we managed to convince both Auntie Raan and Zaal'Koris to come to the Normandy. We'll dock with the Tonbay. Zaal'Koris wasn't willing to seek captain approval to have the Normandy dock with the Qwib-Qwib, so he's taking a shuttle to the Tonbay and will meet us there." Tali glanced toward the CIC. "I'd better go make sure Joker can find the Tonbay."

Shepard nodded. "Thanks, Tali." Noting the way Lia lingered instead of following the older quarian to the cockpit, Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Everything alright, Lia?"

Lia wrung her hands together. "Do you really think this will work, Shepard?"

"Come here." She waved Lia over to her, draping her arm over the quarian's shoulders when Lia came close enough. "I think it's the best chance the quarians have ever had of reclaiming their homeworld since the Morning War." She took a deep breath, letting it out slow when Lia leaned into her. "I think there are going to be those who think this is insane, who would rather just go to war, but there's no way the entire Flotilla will ignore the opportunity we're offering them here." Squeezing Lia's shoulder, she smiled at her. "We've just got to hope together we can convince the rest. You, my dear, are bringing the Fleet the biggest Pilgrimage gift of all time. You could be a hero to your people."

Lia snorted. "Or the greatest war criminal of all time."

Garrus chuffed. "Well, they're certainly not going to laud you for your optimism."

"Garrus!" Shepard rapped her knuckles against his armored chest. "Be nice."

It did the trick though, pulling a giggle from Lia, her shoulder relaxing under Shepard's hand. "Bosh'tet."

Shepard struggled to fight back a snicker and lost.

Garrus flared his mandibles, his eyes widening. "Tali's a bad influence on you."

"Or you're just a bosh'tet." Shepard winked at him.

He chuffed, shaking his head at her. "You're all terrible people."

"Something bosh'tet would say," Mordin deadpanned, not even bothering to look back up from his microscope. "Now, lots of work to do. Talk distracting. Genophage not going to cure itself."

Shepard snorted. "I think that's our cue to go before he starts asking us for tissue samples or threatening to sedate us just to get us to shut up."

Mordin sniffed but didn't say anything else. Shepard held out her arms, herding Lia and Garrus toward the CIC doors.

"You have messages waiting for you, Commander. One of them is from the Council and it's marked urgent," Kelly said the moment they stepped into the CIC.

Fighting back the urge to groan again, Shepard nodded her head. "Thank you, Kelly."

She used the laptop set up for her next to the galaxy map to access her inbox. Garrus hovered over her shoulder while Lia made her way toward the cockpit to join the others. Skimming through the list of messages, she saw EDI had already compiled the report she asked for, but she would save it for later right along with the message from the Illusive Man. She opened the message from the Council, unsurprised to find it simply stated they required her presence on the Citadel immediately. Closing the message without bothering to respond, she glanced up at Garrus, comforted to see some of the warmth of compassion in his gaze again.

He hummed quietly, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Let's just try to focus on preventing Morning War II from breaking out on the ship, and we'll figure this mess out later." He rubbed his thumb along the back of her neck. "Together."

"Yeah." Shepard smiled, patting Garrus' hand. "Let's go see how many people we can cram into the cockpit before Joker loses his shit."

He chuckled, taking her hand in his, letting her lead him to the front of the ship. Weaving her way through the quarians, she slid into the co-pilot's chair and glanced at Joker. He scowled at her grin before turning his attention back to the controls. Shepard watched the hodge-podge mix of civilian and military ships as Joker maneuvered the Normandy through the Flotilla. When at last they reached the Tonbay, the Normandy circled around, lining up the airlocks before extending the covered, ship-to-ship walkway.

The Tonbay hailed the Normandy, requesting all crew stay aboard the ship and leave the airlock closed until the Tonbay secured its airlock behind the admirals to prevent contamination. With Garrus and the three quarians at her heel, Shepard made her way to the Normandy's airlock and waited, hands tucked behind her back.

Once the decontamination completed, the door opened. Shala'Raan and Zaal'Koris stood a couple of feet apart, facing each other. Their whispered conversation broke off and they turned to face Shepard.

Shala'Raan took a step forward. "You must be Captain Shepard vas Normandy; we request permission to come aboard."

Shepard extended her hand. "Shepard is fine. Please, come aboard. Welcome, admirals."

Shala'Raan shook Shepard's hand, dipping her head. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Shepard. Tali'Zorah has told me so much about you. You are welcome to call me Shala'Raan." She crossed over the threshold when Shepard stepped aside, allowing her entrance.

"Admiral Zaal'Koris vas Qwib-Qwib. Call me whatever you like, it makes no matter to me." He shook Shepard's hand, glancing around the ship. He nodded his head as if giving Shepard his approval over the Normandy before locking his attention on Lia. "Miss Vael, now that I'm here, perhaps you can tell me why it is you've requested my presence."

"With all due respect, Admiral, even though Shepard has made it clear her loyalties aren't with Cerberus, this is a Cerberus vessel." Kal said, taking his position next to Tali. "To protect the security of the Migrant Fleet, I believe it would be best if we didn't discuss matters sensitive to the Migrant Fleet in front of the Cerberus crew."

"Kal'Reegar vas Neema," Zaal'Koris said with a tut, "do you think me nothing more than a child not yet on his Pilgrimage?"

Kal squared his shoulders, tucking his hands behind his back. "Of course not, sir."

Shala'Raan scoffed. "And neither is Kal'Reegar a child on his, Zaal'Koris. He is one of our finest marines, doing what he is sworn to do, protecting the Migrant Fleet." She waved her hand, brushing aside Zaal'Koris' annoyed huff and turning her attention to Shepard. "We thank you for inviting us into your ship, Shepard."

"I don't need you to speak for me, Shala'Raan." Zaal'Koris crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm sure Shepard understands that as an admiral, I have responsibilities to tend to. The Normandy is a fine vessel, and as always it is an honor to be allowed entrance to another's ship, but if I'm not mistaken we weren't called here for a social visit."

Jane scoffed. _"Self-important ass."_

Shepard forced a smile on her face and extended her arm, indicating they should follow her. "Of course, Admiral. If you'll follow me, I'll take you to the comm room where we can speak freely."

She led the way to the comm room, moving through the armory in order to avoid awkward questions about the collector in the tech labs. She waited for the doors to close behind them before speaking again. "This is Garrus Vakarian, he'll be joining us for this conversation, and I don't know whether either of you have actually met Lia'Vael nar Ulnay?"

"We have not yet met, no." Shala'Raan nodded her head to Lia. "Keelah se'lai, Lia'Vael nar Ulnay."

"Keelah se'lai, Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay. It's an honor to meet you." Lia's voice warbled, betraying the outward calm she pulled around herself the moment the admiral stepped aboard.

Zaal'Koris nodded his head. "We met once, many years ago. I doubt you were old enough to recall. Keelah se'lai, Lia'Vael nar Ulnay."

"Oh." Lia paused, her hands worrying a leather strap on her suit. "No, sorry, I don't recall, but it is an honor to meet you now. Keelah se'lai, Admiral Zaal'Koris."

"Garrus Vakarian, I've heard much about you. You are the C-Sec agent that came to Tali'Zorah's aid on the Citadel." Shala'Raan looked between Tali and Garrus. "I think she looks up to you as much as she does Shepard."

"Auntie Raan!" Tali screeched, pulling a chuckle from everyone in the room, even the more reserved admiral. "He's never going to let me live this down."

 _"_ _No, no he isn't,"_ Jane said, laughing.

Garrus fluttered his mandibles, a smirk turning up the corners of his mouth. "Is that so?"

"Oh yes," Shala'Raan said, waving her hand, "she talked about the both of you non-stop when she returned from her Pilgrimage."

"Auntie Raan, please!" Tali clasped her hands in front of her. "We have more important things to discuss, and Garrus' ego is big enough." She cleared her throat, a determined sound somehow suddenly making her seem older. "Admiral Raan, Admiral Zoris, we've asked you here because there is a matter of significance to the Migrant Fleet we need to discuss with the Admiralty Board, but felt the nature of the situation warranted a private conversation first."

"Tali'Zorah …." Shala'Raan trailed off, crossing her arms defensively over her chest. "You know that we can't take any actions as admirals here."

"Oh, no!" Tali held her palms out. "Of course. We just wanted to explain the situation to you, so that the Admiralty Board can decide how best to proceed. We didn't want to drag this out in front of everyone without giving you the chance to prepare for the uproar it will probably cause among the Flotilla."

"Perhaps you'd better tell us what this situation is, Tali'Zorah." Zaal'Koris took a deep breath, his shoulders rising and falling dramatically as he looked over the other quarians before glancing at Shepard and Garrus.

"Shepard has—we have a geth here on the Normandy—" Tali began but didn't get very far.

"You've captured a geth? An active geth?" Shala'Raan dropped her arms, her glowing eyes blinking rapidly behind her violet mask.

Zaal'Koris stood a little taller, his back straightening, projecting the haughty air of his. "If you have called us here to take part in the execution of a geth, I will not take part of it!"

Shepard cleared her throat, drawing the admirals' attention to her. "Legion is a part of my crew; no one will be executing him."

"Legion … the crew … I don't understand." Shala'Raan spared a glance at Tali before looking back at Shepard. "Shepard, you of all people should understand how dangerous the geth are! You fought them all across the galaxy—kept them from taking the Citadel!"

Holding a hand up, she shook her head. "The geth we fought were a separate faction: those that chose to allow themselves to be taken in by the reapers. They had their programming altered by the reapers, so much so the other geth no longer even refer to them as 'geth.' They call them 'heretics.'"

Zaal'Koris took a couple of steps closer to Shepard. "You have a geth as part of your crew?" The building excitement in his voice was exactly what Shepard hoped for. "It's here, on the Normandy … not as a prisoner of war, but living among your people peacefully?"

"The geth—the actual geth, not the heretics—don't want war with organics, Admiral." Shepard continued, ignoring Shala'Raan's scoff. "They never wanted war with the organics. It's why they didn't pursue the quarians beyond the Perseus Veil. The only wanted to live."

"You can't know that, Shepard. You're not quarian; humans hadn't even discovered the mass relays yet … you weren't there, you can't know." Shala'Raan shook her head.

Shepard bit back the anger welling up in her throat. The last few weeks had already thrown so much at her; she needed this to go right. The quarians needed this to go right. Hell, the whole goddamned galaxy needed this to go right. Whenever she encountered a quarian so adamantly refusing to believe their understanding of history and the geth race might just be wrong—skewed by time, fear, and shame—she just wanted to slap them in the back of their heads.

"With all due respect, Admiral, you weren't there, either." The muscles of her neck and shoulders tightened, the aggravation feeling stronger than it would if it were just hers alone. "The quarians are no more exempted from inaccuracies in the telling of their histories than any other organic species with organic, faulty memories, ruled by organic emotion and a pension to hide their mistakes." She clenched her jaw, crossing her arms to hide her hands as they curled into fists. "With all due respect, Admiral, the quarians created new life and then when they realized what they'd done, they tried to commit genocide. Killing every geth they could—they even killed their own when a few quarians with a conscious tried to defend the geth!"

"Shepard …." Garrus' voice snagged her attention but didn't calm her any.

"What did you expect them to do? They defended themselves, and what makes them better than you—than all organics—is they stopped chasing once you left the Veil" She took another step closer to the admiral. "They didn't want war, they didn't want genocide. They didn't want to kill their creators even though you wanted to kill them!" She threw her hands up in the air, moving still closer. "They still don't. If you could all just drop your ancient grudges and listen for a few minutes, you could have Rannoch back, peacefully!"

"Shepard," Garrus said again, stepping up beside her, putting his hand on her shoulder, gently urging her back.

She stopped, shame washing over her as she let her gaze roam over the tense, stiff-backed quarians. Kal had moved a few steps closer to her during her tirade, no doubt ready to defend the quarian admiral no matter the cost. Lia wrung her wrists so furiously, it was miraculous she hadn't torn through her suit. Tali's body language screamed uncertainty, one foot facing Shepard, the other the woman she considered family.

Shala'Raan herself stood her ground, glowing eyes wide behind her mask, but the tremble in her fingers spoke volumes. Whether those volumes contained outrage or fear, Shepard wasn't entirely certain. Zaal'Koris, on the other hand, watched the exchange with rapt attention, his body language practically vibrating with the justification she suspected he felt hearing his own thoughts given words through another's voice.

 _"_ _So much for handling things delicately."_ Jane snorted. _"Feel better?"_

"A little," Shepard thought.

Taking a deep breath, she turned, moving to the door to lean against the frame. "Look, all I'm asking is for you to postpone judgment until you've met Legion and listened to what he has to say."

"Well, I won't speak for Shala'Raan, but I'm absolutely thrilled by the prospects and would greatly appreciate the chance to speak with … Legion." Zaal'Koris glanced at Lia and Tali, nodding his head. "You used sound judgment asking us to come in person." He turned to look at Shala'Raan. "I only hope sound judgment can continue to be used here today."

 _"_ _Should've guessed an impassioned defense of the geth would be all he needed."_

"Auntie Raan … please try to understand. Shepard considers Legion to be a part of her crew, and just as she would for me, or Garrus, or any of the others, she speaks in his defense." Tali moved around the table to stand in front of her aunt. "She didn't invite you here to insult you or the rest of our people, but to try and help."

"Oh, Tali'Zorah," Shala'Raan said, lifting a hand to Tali's shoulder, "I may not understand or agree with your Captain's opinions, but I am glad to see you've aligned yourself with such a strong woman, and if she would so easily use her strength to look after you, then there is no place I'd rather you be." She pulled Tali into an embrace, her hand cradling the back of the younger quarian's head. "You're calling this geth a 'he,' Tali'Zorah. Have you accepted this as the truth, then?"

Tali pulled back, hanging her head for a moment before meeting Shala'Raan's gaze. "I don't know. I don't know what really happened between the quarians and the geth … but I've spent time with Legion, and I've seen him with Lia. I can't deny he's a real person, Auntie Raan. Calling him an 'it' reduces him to an object and he's so much more. I believe Legion truly means us no harm, and we should at least hear him out."

 _"_ _Damn, I didn't realize Legion had already left so much of an impression on Tali,"_ Jane said.

"Neither did I," Shepard thought. "She and Kal haven't been back on the Normandy for very long, I guess having Lia around really helped bring her over to the geth's side."

 _"_ _I think hearing from me that she can trust Legion might've done some good, too."_

"You're probably right," Shepard thought, acknowledging Jane's victory.

Shala'Raan's gaze drifted to Lia before coming back to Tali. "What does this Legion have to do with Lia'Vael?"

Lia cleared her throat, shoving her arms down to her sides and stepped forward. "Perhaps this part should come from me." She hesitated when everyone in the room turned to look at her, her gaze flitting to Shepard. She took a deep breath and nodded when Shepard smiled at her. "Since I first came aboard the Normandy, I've spent a significant amount of time with Legion." Lia shifted her weight from foot to foot. "More than anyone else, actually. We've learned from each other—helped each other."

"Go ahead, Lia." Tali nodded her head at the younger quarian, her voice filled with encouragement.

Lia cleared her throat. "Don't be alarmed. I promise it's safe for me." Reaching up, she removed her facemask despite the sudden gasps coming from the admirals.

"Are you mad, child?!" Shala'Raan rushed around the table, grabbing Lia's wrist, trying to force her to put her mask back on. "You could die!" She looked at Tali, her eyes wide with terror. "We need to get her to quarantine!"

"No, Auntie Raan." Tali moved to her aunt's side, urging her to let go of Lia. "She will be fine, just listen."

"Miss Vael … how have you managed …?" Zaal'Koris trailed off, shaking his head, his hand over his heart.

Lia shook her head, ringlets of blond hair falling free from her hood. "It's not my doing. Legion has been uploading programs to my suit at night. With permission, of course!" She fiddled with the mask in her hand, her pink tongue darting out to wet her lips before she continued. "The programs are able to simulate viruses, forcing my immune system to respond, without truly making me sick."

"Keelah se'lai," Shala'Raan whispered, lifting a shaking hand, hesitating with her gloved fingers inches from Lia's face.

Lia smiled, taking the admiral's hand, pulling it the rest of the way, letting Shala'Raan touch her exposed face. Tears welled up in Lia's eyes, and Shepard suspected Shala'Raan might be crying, too. She couldn't imagine what the moment must feel like to either of them.

 _"_ _She'll fight tooth and nail to bring this moment to all of her people,"_ Jane said. _"Congratulations, Dawn, I think you might've prevented the next quarian-geth war."_

"Let's hope so," Shepard thought, letting out a slow breath with a growing smile.

After a moment, Lia lifted her hand, tucking her hair back inside of her hood. "It's best if I don't leave it off too long." She replaced her mask when the admiral pulled her hand away. "I've acclimated to the environment of the Normandy almost entirely. I'll still get a mild fever for having taken it off, but I might not even need to use my suit's antibiotics to fight it off."

Deciding that exposing the admirals to one AI was enough for now, Shepard stepped out into the hall to ask EDI to notify Legion they were ready for him.


	67. Chapter 44: Don't Fire on the Geth

**Chapter 44: Don't Fire on the Geth**

Shepard paced the floors of her cabin, waiting for word back from the Admiralty Board. Zaal'Koris and Shala'Raan returned to the Migrant Fleet an hour before, both eager and determined to convince the rest of the Admiralty Board to grant Legion and Shepard as his 'Captain' and audience. In the meanwhile, she tried to keep herself busy reviewing EDI's report.

Collector ship sightings over several human colonies and increased requests for human specimens in the Terminus Systems filled the report. Sighing in frustration, she was about to toss the datapad aside when something caught her eye: reports of sightings in the Attican Traverse. What were the collectors doing in the Attican Traverse? More importantly, how had the Council not been informed? Or had they? If the collectors were moving into the Attican Traverse, they were entering Council controlled space, which meant they could take action. Granted, much of the Attican Traverse had already been encroached on by members of the Terminus Systems and the Council had done nothing to hinder their movement in the hopes of avoiding a war with the Terminus Systems.

 _"_ _I doubt the Council is in the dark. If the collectors are moving into the Traverse, it's been noted by someone somewhere."_ Jane hummed in the back of Shepard's head. _"It could simply be because they already have us on the situation … but then you'd think they'd inform us of any new developments … unless they're just hoping we'll take care of it without pressing them for reinforcements now that they have jurisdiction."_

"It doesn't really matter now either way; not with Anderson locked up and the Council coming after us for treason." Shepard spoke out loud, far more comfortable conversing openly with Jane when no one else was around to see her—aside from EDI. It wasn't because she didn't think EDI counted; just that EDI was always present. Always. "And now, of course, we can't even take this to them on the off chance they don't know."

"Shepard?" EDI's voice cut through Shepard's train of thought.

She glanced up, turning to look at the AI's access node. "What's up, EDI?"

"We've received word from the Migrant Fleet. We're being given permission to dock with the Tonbay." EDI paused, her blue hologram hovering, her lights flickering in what Shepard had come to recognize as contemplation. "They are willing to grant Legion the opportunity to address the Admiralty Board, but are insisting he be completely stripped of all weapons and subjected to scanning."

"Scanning?" Shepard raised an eyebrow.

"I believe they intend to gather data on how the geth have evolved since last contact." EDI paused again. "Considering the tensions between the quarians and the geth, it is likely this information will be used against the geth in the event of a confrontation."

Shepard held her breath a moment, her mind running through all of the terrible scenarios it could come up with in a handful of seconds. Letting the air rush out of her lungs in a huff she rubbed her forehead. "Thank you, EDI. I'll go talk to Legion. Tell Joker to hold off on docking with the Tonbay until I know whether or not Legion agrees to their conditions."

"As you wish, Shepard." EDI's hologram closed, leaving Shepard once again with the illusion of being alone.

"Well fuck." She groaned pinching the bridge of her nose.

 _"_ _He's going to want you to tell him what to do,"_ Jane said.

"Yeah, and I won't do it. All I can do is give him my opinion, and tell him I'll support his choice." She walked up the stairs, dropping the datapad on her desk before leaving her cabin.

 _"_ _What are you going to do when he insists you decide on whether or not to reprogram the heretics?"_ Jane asked when Shepard stepped inside of the elevator. _"Or when he turns to you on Rannoch and tells you he wants to give the reaper code back to his people? Damn … will any of that even happen now? The reaper code, I mean? If the quarians and the geth make nice right now, the rest of the geth will never turn to the reapers when facing war with the quarians."_

"I don't know," she muttered, pushing the button for the third deck. "But I'll be damned if I'm going to set the quarians and geth up for a war they don't have to fight … set Legion up to be tortured. The geth will have to find another way to reach that point. Hell, maybe being reunited with the quarians will help get them there. Legion's already changing from spending so much time with Lia."

 _"_ _No, of course. I wasn't implying you should."_ Jane hesitated, her conflicted feelings leaking through to Shepard. _"I just meant … well, by helping we're hindering."_

"I'm doing the best I can with what we have." Shepard shoved a few stray pieces of hair out of her face and took a deep breath. "You wanted change, Jane. Well, this is change. I don't know if any of it is what we need, but I'm trying."

 _"_ _Yeah,"_ Jane said before pulling back into the recesses of Shepard's mind, shutting herself away.

With her connection to Jane muted, she found she actually felt a little emptier inside. The elevator door opened, and she made her way to the med bay. Dr. Chakwas looked up and smiled at Shepard before turning back to her work. It occurred to Shepard she really should tell Dr. Chakwas that Anderson had been arrested, but she just couldn't bring herself to talk about it yet.

Making her way past the doc, she opened the AI core. Lia paced around inside, restless and wringing her hands. Legion watched her, his head swiveling back and forth as the rest of him remained motionless. They both turned to look at her when she stepped inside.

"Lia, can I have a moment with Legion, please?" She moved out of the way of the door, coming to a stop in front of Legion and tucking her hands behind her back.

"Uh, oh, um, sure." Lia glanced between Shepard and Legion. "Of course, Shepard. I'll see you in a little while, Legion." She left the AI core with one final glance over her shoulder at the geth.

"Shepard-Commander," Legion said when the door closed.

"The Migrant Fleet has contacted the Normandy, and they're willing to grant us an audience, but they have conditions." She glanced around the AI core, her gaze finding the dried daisy April gave Legion stuck to the back wall. Taking a deep breath she turned her attention back to the geth waiting patiently in front of her. "They want you to be disarmed before boarding the Tonbay, and they want you to submit to scans. It wasn't specified, but it's likely these scans are meant to study geth advancements." She raked her thumbnail across her brow. "I don't think I need to tell you this could give them a tactical advantage should the quarians and geth ever go to war instead of making peace. However, such a gesture now would undoubtedly go a long way toward easing the fears of the quarians, making them more open to the idea of working with the geth. Ultimately, this is your decision, Legion. I won't make it for you, but I'll respect whatever choice you make. The Tonbay is waiting for our response."

Legion shifted his weight, the flaps around his optics fluttering as the single iris dilated. "We are unable to reach a consensus."

Shepard nodded her head before lowering her gaze, staring at the empty stretch of floor between her feet and his. "I thought that might be the case. If you'd like, I can attempt to speak with them to see if I can convince them to waive the condition of the scans. It's pretty unlikely, though, they'll agree to let you come aboard with weapons. Can you reach a consensus on whether or not you'll agree to go unarmed?"

Legion bobbed his head before turning away from Shepard, removing first his sniper rifle and then his assault rifle, laying them on the bench at the back of the room. "We agree to board the Tonbay unarmed if Shepard-Commander successfully negotiates with the creators."

"Thank you, Legion. Come with me to the comm room, you should be present when I call them." She jerked her head toward the door before leaving the AI core, already planning what she'd say to the Admiralty Board. Unsurprised to find Lia waiting just outside the door, she stopped in front of the quarian. "We're going to need to place a call to the admirals, we're working out a few kinks, but so far everything is fine, Lia. Take a deep breath, you did great in there."

Lia's shoulder's relaxed, her respirator hissing as she pulled in a deep breath and nodded her head. "Thank you, Shepard."

Shepard reached out, squeezing Lia's shoulder but turned her head to look at EDI's access node across the med bay. "EDI," she said, watching as the blue hologram sprung to life, "please notify Tali that I need her in the comm room. Kal is welcome to join her if he wishes."

"Right away, Shepard." The hologram winked out of existence once more.

Turning her attention back to Lia, she patted her shoulder before letting her hand drop. "You can come too, if you want." She didn't wait for Lia's response before she started walking again, trusting Legion would be right behind her, and willing to bet a year's salary on Lia being right next to him.

Tali and Kal were already in the elevator when it reached the third deck to pick up Shepard and the others. On the way up to the CIC, she informed the quarians of the Admiralty Board's conditions and her intent to attempt to negotiate on Legion's behalf. With unspoken agreement, they all stopped talking when the elevator doors opened, and didn't speak again until they were in the comm room with the door closed behind them.

"What do you need me to do, Shepard?" Tali leaned against the table next to Kal.

"You have a bit of an inside view of how the Admiralty Board works, being an admiral's daughter." Shepard crossed her arms and leaned against the wall across from them.

Tali inclined her head in agreement. "Former admiral, but yes."

"And you've developed a working relationship with Legion." Shepard couldn't help the grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"I suppose," Tali said, wariness dragging out the words.

"Kal, Lia, do either of you have issue with Tali acting as a representative to your people on your behalves?" She glanced between the two other quarians, eyebrow raised. Shepard thought she could almost see the smile on Kal's face behind his mask, the outer corners of his eyes narrowing.

"I can't think of anyone else I'd rather represent me, ma'am." Kal glanced at Tali, a soft chuckle shaking his shoulders.

"I don't have any problem with Tali representing us, but representing us for what?" Lia asked.

Shepard moved to stand next to Legion. "I'd like Tali to act as my co-mediator between Legion and the Admiralty Board. If Legion and Tali both agree, it will be Tali's job to help me negotiate terms that are fair and agreeable to both quarians and geth." She held up a hand to silence Tali's anxious groan. "You're the best person for the job, Tali. You're a quarian who has not only shown loyalty to her people on multiple occasions, the most recent being turning in your own father, but you are also a member of the Normandy's crew, which means you work beside Legion. You understand the politics, you understand the needs of the quarians, and you understand what it is the geth are offering. I won't force you to do this, but I have complete faith in your ability to handle this situation." She glanced at the geth next to her. "Legion, is this agreeable to you?"

Legion turned his head to look at Shepard, shifting his stance to mimic hers. "Yes."

"Wonderful," she said, turning back to Tali. "Well, what do you say?"

 _"_ _You'll make and admiral out of her yet."_ Jane sighed, her weariness carrying over to Shepard.

Tali glanced back and forth between everyone in the room before letting out a frustrated growl and throwing her hands up in the air. "Alright, Shepard. I don't know why you think I'm the one for this sort of thing, but if all of you are crazy enough to push me into it, it's on your heads if I mess it all up."

Shepard grinned, reaching out to squeeze Tali's arm. "You won't mess it up. EDI, please connect us to the Admiralty Board on the Tonbay."

"Right away, Shepard." EDI's hologram stretched out, creating a screen above the table.

Shepard moved to stand next to Tali, pointing to a spot on the floor just behind and between the two of them, waving Legion over to stand there. Kal moved up to stand at Tali's other side, while Lia lingered behind Shepard next to Legion. It took a couple of minutes for the call to connect, and when it did only Shala'Raan and Zaal'Koris appeared in front of the screen.

Shepard's brow twitched, having expected for them to have the other admirals with them. "Admirals." She dipped her head in deference. "We wish to further discuss the conditions you've requested."

"I see," Shala'Raan said, glancing at Zaal'Koris. "What are you suggesting?"

Shepard glanced at Tali and gently cleared her throat. When Tali looked at her she arched an eyebrow and nodded. She smiled as the quarian squared her shoulders and shoved her hands down at her sides, turning her attention back to the screen.

"We are uncomfortable with the request Legion submit to scanning. We feel it unfairly disadvantages and threatens the geth when they are offering to discuss the possibility of restoring peace between the geth and quarian peoples." Tali shifted, glancing at Shepard before continuing, "We see no issue with the request Legion disarm before boarding the Tonbay, and he has agreed to this request."

 _"_ _Not bad, Tali. Not bad,"_ Jane said.

"Tali'Zorah, Shepard, you must understand, while I agree with what you are saying, the Admiralty Board isn't going to accept an advanced geth platform walking onto the Migrant Fleet without some assurance … something they feel they've gained up front." Zaal'Koris crossed his arms over his chest.

 _"_ _What do they want more than information on the geth?"_ Jane prompted, giving Shepard a mental nudge.

Shepard turned, hiding her face from the screen as she whispered, "Legion, do you have access to reports on Rannoch's status?"

"Yes." Legion fluttered the plates around his optics.

"Are you willing to provide the Migrant Fleet with these reports?" She asked.

Legion's iris dilated and he dipped his head. "Yes."

Turning back to the screen, Shepard focused on Zaal'Koris. "Legion is prepared to offer the Migrant Fleet reports on the status of Rannoch, if this is agreeable to the Admiralty Board."

"Reports?" Zaal'Koris shifted his weight.

Shala'Raan leaned forward, her eye wide behind her mask. "What exactly is in these reports?"

 _"_ _Bingo."_ Jane's words left the impression of a smug grin on her face.

Shepard glanced behind her. "Legion?"

"We can provide information on the levels of toxic materials remaining from the war, progress on the reconstruction of buildings, the reinstitution of plant and animal life, and cultivated farmlands on Rannoch." Legion shifted his weight.

Shala'Raan glanced over her shoulder at Zaal'Koris before turning back to the screen. "Will you excuse us for a moment, please?"

"Of course, Admiral," Tali said before glancing at Shepard in what seemed like a knee-jerk reaction.

Shepard dipped her head. "Of course."

The two admirals disappeared from view, returning a few minutes later. Shala'Raan was the first to speak, "We would like the reports transferred to Kal'Reegar immediately, upon his confirmation of the reports containing what you say they do, we agree to these terms."

Seconds after the words left the admiral's mouth, Kal opened his omni-tool. Shepard's lips twitched in a smile, she kept her eyes on the screen, watching from her peripherals as Kal scanned through the reports. After a couple of minutes, he closed his omni-tool and tucked his hands behind his back.

"I have received the reports, Admiral Raan. I believe them to contain the agreed upon information." Kal gave the admirals a quick jerk of a nod.

"Very well, then we are agreed and await your arrival on the Tonbay." Zaal'Koris dipped his head.

"I'll give my pilot the green light to begin docking procedures. Thank you. Normandy out." Shepard waited for the screen to darken and EDI to return to her usual form before letting herself smile. "EDI, please tell Joker to begin docking with the Tonbay, and ask Garrus to meet us at the airlock."

After a moment, EDI responded, "Docking procedures have been initiated with the Tonbay, and Garrus is on his way to the airlock."

"Thanks, EDI," said Shepard.

"You are welcome. Logging you out, Shepard." EDI's hologram collapsed in on itself.

Shepard clapped her hands, rubbing them together. "Alright, let's do this." She made her way to the door, turning back around to pull Tali into a hug. "You did great. You'll do great." She let Tali go and made her way out of the comm room, and through the tech labs, out to the CIC. The elevator opened as they passed, and Shepard stopped, turning to wait as Garrus stepped off.

He stopped next to her, eyeing her top to bottom. "You're not in armor … no weapons?"

"Just my sidearm." Shepard glanced down at her hip.

"Was this their idea or yours?" His mandibles flared.

 _"_ _We always went in fully armored and armed."_ Jane seemed to shrug. _"It wasn't a matter of not trusting the quarians, but you just never know …."_

Shepard smiled and thought, "It just doesn't feel right."

"Mine. It's fine, Garrus. The quarians aren't going to attack us; we're not going into hostile territory." She took his hand, squeezing his fingers. "Consider it a show of good faith. This is going to work."

"You're the boss." He squeezed her hand, fluttering his mandibles.

She grinned. "Yes I am." Pushing up on her tiptoes, she pressed a kiss to his mouth plates before leading him off to the airlock to join the others.

When the airlock opened, they stepped out onto the walkway. The decontamination process began, a series of blue grids passing over them, burning away any foreign bodies capable of spreading to the Flotilla. The Tonbay's airlock opened, and they were greeted by six armed marines, weapons held low but ready.

 _"_ _Still think the armor didn't feel right?"_ Jane snorted softly. _"At least you did bring a sidearm."_

"Stop, Jane. It's going to work," Shepard thought.

Gasps and whispers of 'keelah se'lai' filled the air the moment Legion crossed over the threshold. Curious quarian civilians, bold enough to see the geth as he came aboard gathered in the entryway halls. They pushed back against the walls, finding shelter by clustering together as Legion passed by, surrounded by quarian guards and Shepard's team.

They were led through ship's switchback halls until they passed through an archway opening out into the expansive body of the ship, serving as the lifeblood of the quarian community. Shepard could barely make out the mix of metal walkways and constructed gardens at her feet. More quarians than she'd ever seen in any one place—even in her multiple memories of attending Tali's treason trials aboard the Rayya—crowded the floor, jostling one another, pushing in against the guards even as they parted to let them through.

Shala'Raan stood at the head of the gathered admirals on a dais, smack in the middle of the floor. It made sense, seeing as the Tonbay was her home ship. The layout was different than the Rayya, lacking the bench seats surrounding the speaker's stage and the railing serving to separate the admirals from everyone else. It left the crowds able to push as close to Shepard and her crew as the guards would allow.

Zaal'Koris stood at Shala'Raan's right, arms crossed over his chest, weight resting on one hip and looking for the entire galaxy as if he'd just been give the crown of all quarian-kind. Shepard could almost see the smug gleam in his eyes and the Cheshire cat grin on his face. She was handing him everything he'd ever hoped for, and in a few minutes, the rest of his people would have to admit he'd been right about the geth all along.

She scanned the dais, the uncomfortable itch of memories that weren't really hers supplying her with names to the other admirals, filling her in on why each of them were important in regards to the geth. Shepard's skin crawled as she watched Admiral Daro'Xen vas Moreh study Legion with a predator's gaze. Clearly she wanted nothing more than to pull Legion apart piece by piece just to see what made him tick. Admiral Han'Gerrel vas Neema surprised Shepard, however. Knowing the admiral was a strong voice towards declaring war on the geth in order to reclaim Rannoch, she expected something much more aggressive in his stance but found it lacking. He seemed … curious, yet cautious.

 _"_ _Don't trust him. You can't trust him, he's geth-blood-thirsty as all hell. He's the reason the quarians go to war with the geth. He presses the attack on the disabled geth ship while_ we're _still inside."_ Jane seethed, her anger growing the longer Shepard looked at Han'Gerrel. _"And_ he _is the one who will press the attack against all reason if we aren't able to talk him down, leaving us to either watch the quarians die, or the geth die."_

"Alright, Jane," Shepard thought, rolling her head to try and loosen some of the sudden tension in her neck. "I don't trust him. Got it."

Jane eased back, the anger flooding Shepard dimming. _"Okay. Good. Thank you."_

Reaching the admirals, the guards broke around Shepard and her team, spreading out around them leaving their fronts exposed to the Admiralty Board. Shepard glanced up at Garrus, and he turned his head to look down at her. He nodded once, a sharp bob of his head and light flutter of his mandibles, telling her without words he was with her all the way. She smiled, shifting her weight, letting her shoulder brush against him as she turned her head the other way to take in Tali.

Tali's gaze roamed the room, her head swiveling from one side to the other before she locked in on her aunt and stepped forward, standing right next to Shepard. "I didn't think it would be so crowded." She tilted her head back and gasped, drawing Shepard's attention with her up to the screens hovering above, acting as windows into other ships on the Migrant Fleet. "Kelah se'lai."

Shepard barely heard Tali over the cacophony, but she smiled at her friend, hoping Tali might find some encouragement and strength in the faith Shepard had in her.

Shala'Raan opened her omni-tool, her fingers running over the keys. When she spoke, her voice projected out over the crowd, effectively silencing them. "This Conclave is brought to order. Blessed are the ancestors who kept us alive, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season. Keelah se'lai."

Quarian voices from all around, filtering back to them through the vid feeds, answered the call. "Keelah se'lai."

"I know these are unusual circumstances, something not covered by our rituals and traditions. Many of you are frightened, some of you are outraged. However, we must remember who we are, where we have come from, and where we hope to someday return." Shala'Raan looked out over the crowd, tilting her head back to glance up at the screens hovering over the room. "We have invited Captain Shepard and the Normandy's crew here as our guests. This includes the geth platform known to Captain Shepard as Legion. Any unprovoked acts of violence towards Legion will be treated as an unprovoked act of violence toward Captain Shepard, both by the members of the Normandy, and by the Admiralty Board. Our laws are clear on how such a thing will be punished."

Shepard breathed a sigh of relief as the admiral's words seemed to help further calm Jane. The crowd murmured, some of the quarians pushing in against the ring of guards easing back, until Shala'Raan held up a hand to silence them once more.

"We all know Captain Shepard has proven herself to be a friend of the quarians; she took in Tali'Zorah during her Pilgrimage and now Lia'Vael nar Ulnay, too. She has welcomed Tali'Zorah and Kal'Reegar onto her ship and by all reports treated them as friends and equals to all others on her crew." She gestured at the three quarians standing with Shepard. "Even now she comes to us without the armor and weapons we are all so accustomed to seeing her with in all of the images and vids. She stands before us, as a friend to our people, showing us trust. It is not so much to ask that we extend the same to her and listen to what she has to say." She focused her attention on Shepard and held a hand out. "Captain Shepard, please step forward."

"Thank you, Admiral," Shepard said, pleased to find whatever Shala'Raan did worked to project Shepard's voice as well. "I think it might be best if much of what we have to say comes from one of your own, so any who might doubt my intentions can hear it from the mouth of someone they know will have quarian interests at heart. I also think Tali is more than capable of acting as a just and equitable negotiator, should the Migrant Fleet agree to enter that stage of discussions."

Shala'Raan's eyes narrowed, lifting up at the edges, clearly smiling even if her mouth remained hidden. She ran her hand over her omni-tool and nodded. "Very well, Tali'Zorah vas Rayya, please step forward."

Together, Shepard and Tali took a few steps closer to the dais. A soft murmur ran through the crowd again, but they reined it in before the admiral had need to silence them.

"Thank you, Admiral Raan." Tali glanced at Shepard, her hands creeping up as if she intended to start wringing them before she shoved them down at her sides.

"I first encountered Legion on Alchera while placing a memorial amidst the wreckage of the original Normandy." Shepard paused when an unexpected 'keelah se'lai' rose up from the crowd. She dipped her head. "Thank you." She glanced over her shoulder at Legion, his optics whirring opened and closed as he looked around the area. Turning back to the gathered admirals, she continued, "Legion's platform was specifically designed for extended time spent away from the geth hubs, so he can live among and interact with organics as proficiently as possible. His platform was created and uploaded with one-thousand one-hundred and eighty-three programs, tasked with finding me." Looking over her shoulder again, she found Legion watching her, he dipped his head at her and she turned back to the dais.

"I quickly learned there has been a schism with the geth." Shepard waited while the crowd shifted and muttered amongst themselves. "I'm sure all of you saw the vids of the geth attack on the Citadel led by the rogue Spectre Saren Arterius and what the Council would have you believe to be a geth constructed flagship." She licked her lips and let her gaze roam over the crowd. "The geth working with Saren were a faction of programs who chose to separate themselves from the rest of the geth community, allowing their programming to be altered as they changed their allegiances."

"Perhaps Legion can explain this further, Captain." Zaal'Koris moved a little closer to the edge of the platform.

The noise level rose as all heads turned to look at Legion. Shepard held her hand out to the geth, stepping aside to create a space between her and Tali as he moved forward. The volume increased to near deafening levels, and it took the admirals nearly a full minute to get everyone to settle down once more.

"What would you like to know, Creator-Koris?" Legions' optic flaps flared and he shifted beside Shepard when the crowds began talking again.

"If these proceedings cannot be respected," Zaal'Koris said, his gaze sweeping over the crowd, "then we will be forced to ask all of those not of the Tonbay to return to their own vessels." He turned back to Legion as a hush fell over the room. "Legion, will you please share with us how this schism Captain Shepard speaks of came about?"

"Yes." He fluttered his optic flaps before letting them relax. "Nazara, also called Sovereign, altered the code of basic runtimes of those programs seeking their future through the Old Machines. They are no longer geth." He shifted his weight, his optic panels fluttering. "They are heretics, worshiping the Old Machines. The heretics and Old Machines now attack the geth."

"When you say 'Old Machines', you are referring to the AIs Captain Shepard calls reapers. Is this correct?" Zaal'Koris moved a little closer to Legion, now standing only a few feet away from the geth platform.

"Yes."

"And you can verify what Captain Shepard has said about the reapers' and the … heretics' intent toward organic races?" Han'Gerrel spoke this time, drawing the attention of the room.

Jane bristled in the back of Shepard's mind, sending her skin crawling as fine hairs stood up along her neck and arms.

"Yes." Legion nodded.

Panicked voices rose up above the din, shouting out questions. "How do we know this one isn't working with the reapers?"

"So what if it isn't? The geth are still our enemies!"

"Why should we trust them? They're working with Cerberus!"

Shepard winced, the noise inside her head rising to match the level outside. Angry whispers and frightened screams cut through Jane's defenses to send ice picks lancing through Shepard's brain. She pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head, digging the heel of her other hand into her temple.

"Shepard-Commander, are you in need of assistance?" Legion asked.

Shepard shook her head again. "It's just … too loud."

"Shepard?" Tali's voice came from next to Shepard's ear before a three-fingered hand tentatively cupped her elbow.

"We will have silence!" Shala'Raan's voice boomed out, digging the ice picks in a little further.

Shepard turned toward Tali's voice and opened her eyes, her face screwed up against the pain. "I'm alright, Tali." She wasn't surprised to see Garrus hovering a little closer than before, she met his gaze and forced a weak smile, holding a hand up to ward him off before he made an even bigger scene.

When at last the room was quiet again, the noise inside of Shepard's head began to settle, too. Jane spoke up; her voice was blessedly the only one Shepard heard. _"Sorry, I don't know how that happened."_

She took a steadying breath and thought, "We'll worry about it later."

She looked out over the crowd. "You don't." She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "You don't know Legion's not working with the reapers, and you don't know if you can trust me because I'm working with Cerberus currently." She shifted her weight, crossing her arms. "Maybe I really don't have ground to stand on coming here and asking you to listen to me, but I hope for your own sakes you'll at least let us finish before you make up your minds. However, I didn't come here today to talk about the reapers—though I will gladly share everything I know with the Admiralty Board before the Normandy departs."

Tali cleared her throat, squared her shoulders, and lifted her head. "We came here today to talk about the relationship between the quarians and the geth, and to discuss an offer made to the quarians which will allow us to return to Rannoch, peacefully."

Shepard glanced around, expecting another outcry from the masses. Instead she saw everyone's attention riveted on Tali, glowing eyes wide with shock behind their masks. She took half a step back, and then another, leaving Tali the center focus. She watched with pride as Tali took charge of the situation, fighting the urge to rub at the dull ache in her head.

"Legion has given the Admiralty Board reports on the status of Rannoch, and in those reports, details about the efforts the geth have taken to rebuild Rannoch since the war." Tali glanced at Legion who bobbed his head at her. "Legion, will you tell the Admiralty Board why the geth have been rebuilding Rannoch?"

Legion turned his attention to the Admiralty Board. "Rannoch is the creators' home."

"Why is that important for the geth?" Han'Gerrel asked, shifting his weight forward.

Jane stirred a little, and Shepard was afraid for a moment she'd be bombarded again, but the internal silence held.

"We anticipate the possibility of the creators' return to Rannoch." Legion's brow plates flared, giving off the very real impression he thought the first answer explained everything.

"The geth want the quarians to return to Rannoch?" Shala'Raan already knew the answer, it'd already been made clear to her on the Normandy, but everyone knew it was important for the others to hear it themselves.

"Yes."

"The geth _want_ us to return to Rannoch." Zaal'Koris swept his arms out, waving them over the crowd before glaring at Han'Gerrel. "Some have been plotting to take Rannoch back by force, never once thinking to simply approach the geth peacefully." He moved to the very edge of the dais, standing within arm's reach of Legion. "Just to make the geth's position clear to everyone here, the geth are willing to allow the quarians to return to Rannoch, without resorting to a war that will end both quarian and geth lives?"

"Yes. The geth do not want war with the creators." Legion shifted his weight, his iris opening wide as he looked up at Zaal'Koris. "We have never wanted war with the creators. The geth only want to be allowed to live in peace and develop our own future."

"This is ridiculous. The geth have no future of their own. Whether we take Rannoch back by force, or return peacefully, the only future the geth can possibly have is in their rightful place as servants to the quarians." Daro'Xen threw her hands up in the air before crossing her arms. "It's what they were created for!"

"No!" Lia charged forward, wrapping her arms protectively around Legion's, drawing gasps from the crowd.

"Excuse me, child?" Daro'Xen all but hissed, her chin jutting out as she stormed toward the edge of the platform.

In a move leaving even Shepard surprised, Legion put himself between the charging admiral and Lia. Daro'Xen stuttered as she drew up short, her eyes wide in disbelief. Shepard had no doubt that had they not disarmed Legion, the admiral would now be staring down the barrel of his gun.

Lia tugged at Legion, urging the geth back. "It's okay, Legion. Please."

Legion looked at Lia, his optic plates flared. "Creator-Vael?"

"The admiral won't harm me." She tugged at his immovable weight once more. "Come back here, you're too close to the admirals' platform."

Legion turned, letting the young quarian lead him back to Tali's side.

"If there is one thing I have come to understand during my time aboard the Normandy, it's that the geth are no longer simply machines." Tali shook her head. "Whether we like it or not, we created a new race of AI. The geth are sentient, capable of thinking for themselves. They are self-aware … to return them to servitude now would be slavery." She squared her shoulders and glanced at Shepard. "If we went to war with the geth … if we destroyed them all … we would be committing genocide." She looked back at Daro'Xen, and then met the gaze of each of the admirals. "Our history, our suffering, and our losses don't change this truth. Is that who we wish to become?"

 _"_ _That's definitely new. She's never taken to the idea of the geth being more than machines so easily before,"_ Jane said. _"I'm … I don't know what to make of any of this."_

Zaal'Koris stepped down off the dais, taking leisurely strides forward until he came to a stop in front of Legion, drawing more gasps and quiet murmurs from the crowd. He put his hand on Legion's shoulder. "I can't speak for everyone here, but I for one would be honored to return home and live peacefully with the geth." He turned to Tali, holding his hand out to her. "Thank you, Tali'Zorah, for being willing to speak the truth so many of us have refused to hear." He returned to the stage after Tali shook his hand.

Shepard had to admit given the opportunity, the admiral knew how to work a crowd. She fought back a smirk and leaned forward, whispering to Tali, "They need to know the rest—about Lia. You've got them listening Tali, keep going." She smiled when the quarian met her gaze.

Tali took a deep breath and glanced at Lia who nodded. "Let it be known to Captain Ras'Taerah vas Qwib-Qwib that Lia'Vael nar Ulnay has given permission for this information to be presented on her behalf, and it is her wish that should it be found a suitable Pilgrimage gift, she'll be welcomed aboard the Qwib-Qwib once her mission with Captain Shepard is complete."

There was a rumble in the crowd as heads turned upward. Shepard glanced up, seeing one of the screens above had switched from showing a ship full of quarians to just one. An unfamiliar woman, one she could only presume to be Captain Ras'Taerah filled the screen.

"The Qwib-Qwib has been following along with the proceedings, and will hear this information Miss Vael wishes to present for consideration." Ras'Taerah folded her arms atop her desk.

"Thank you, Captain." Tali nodded at the screen before turning her attention back to the Admiralty Board and the quarian population at large. "As you have already seen, Lia'Vael nar Ulnay has formed a … friendship with Legion and they are very protective over one another. Although their close relationship may seem frightening to some of you, there is more here to be learned." She glanced at Lia again, and the younger quarian edged a little closer to Legion.

"Because Lia'Vael was brave enough to extend trust to Legion, she has benefited from their relationship in a way the rest of us can only hope to one day share. Through uploading geth programs into Lia'Vael's suit, Legion has been able to simulate organic viruses, forcing Lia'Vael's immune system to respond to an otherwise false threat." Tali paused when more whispers and gasps washed over the crowd. "She has adapted to the environment of the Normandy to the point where I myself have twice witnessed her remove her mask, suffering little more than a mild fever as a result."

'Keelah se'lai' rolled from the crowd like foam cresting on ocean waves. Shepard knew then that no matter what the admirals might think, the quarian people wanted what they were being offered. Two quarians, a man and a woman, pushed their way through the crowd, stopping just along the edges. Lia's attention was immediately fixed on the pair, and after a moment, she seemed to struggle to pull her gaze away.

 _"_ _Who are they? Her parents?"_ Jane stirred again, her restlessness eating away at Shepard's patience.

"I've witnessed it myself." Zaal'Koris said to the crowd.

Shala'Raan nodded her head. "As have I."

"What exactly are the geth offering the quarians, and what are they asking in return?" Han'Gerrel moved a little closer, his gaze locked on Legion.

"It's simple," Shepard spoke up, despite the bitter taste in her mouth that she couldn't be entirely sure originated with her or Jane, "the geth are inviting the quarians to return home, and in return, the quarians don't interfere with the geth living their own lives." She shrugged. "Whatever other alliances, aid offered or requested, can be negotiated."

Kal cleared his throat. "If I may?"

Shepard nodded, waving him forward.

Kal stepped forward, snapping a salute to the admirals.

"The Admiralty Board acknowledges Kal'Reegar vas Rayya, a trusted Marine of the Migrant Fleet," Shala'Raan said, dipping her head to Kal.

"Thank you, ma'am." Kal took two more steps forward, putting himself out past the rest of Shepard's crew. "It is my suggestion, should the Admiralty Board decide to look into this matter further, only a small convoy be sent into the Perseus Veil initially to establish contact with the rest of the geth, verify the offer, and survey Rannoch to determine if it is suitable for re-colonization. This minimizes risk to the Flotilla, and should appear less hostile to the geth." He saluted again and took two steps back before lowering his head, turning about face, and returning to his place with Garrus and Lia.

Tali turned to Legion, using a hushed tone as she asked, "How would the rest of the geth respond to a convoy?"

Legion's mechanical iris contracted, his plating shifting. "The geth will defend ourselves if we are attacked, but we will not fire on the creators unless the creators initiate hostile activity."

"Is there anything we will need to say or do to let the geth know we're approaching peacefully?" Tali shifted, glancing over her shoulder at Shepard.

"Do not fire on the geth," Legion said.

"That's it, just don't fire weapons?" Tali waved her hand.

"Yes."

"Legion, are you sure?" Her gaze slid to Shepard again.

"Yes."

"Alright." Tali straightened, turning back to the admirals who watched her expectantly. "As long as the convoy refrains from hostile activity, Legion assures me they will not be met with hostility."

Han'Gerrel nodded. "I volunteer to lead a convoy into the Perseus Veil."

 _"_ _No! It can't be him. We can't let that happen. He'll start pick a fight just so he can have his war!"_ Jane screeched, her voice like nails on a chalkboard, amping up the tension in Shepard's neck and shoulders.

She took slow, deep breaths, finding the rhythm she used during meditation with Thane and focused on the rise and fall of her chest. Shepard didn't know if it was Han'Gerrel specifically that seemed to be sending Jane over the deep end again, or if it was just a combination of all the crap the last couple of days had thrown at them. Either way, standing in the middle of the Tonbay while trying to broker peace talks between the geth and the quarians was _not_ the best place for her to be dealing with Jane losing her shit.

"I think not!" Zaal'Koris snorted. "You have been the biggest supporter of war with the geth. We are trying to establish peace here! I will lead the convoy."

"Perhaps we should first vote to see if there will indeed be a convoy before you two bicker over who will lead." Daro'Xen shook her head. "I'm still not entirely convinced we should be listening to anything this geth has to say. Certainly we can't consider one platform, admittedly more advanced than the rest, as representative of all geth. Especially when our request to scan it was denied."

Shala'Raan took a deep breath, her shoulders sagging on the exhale. "Admiral Xen is right, we should vote, but I believe it should include the entire Conclave and not just the Admiralty Board."

Zaal'Koris crossed his arms, turning to look at Shala'Raan. "Surely we can handle this ourselves, Admiral Raan."

"No, I agree with Admiral Raan. This is too big, and it will ultimately affect the entire Flotilla. They have a right to have their voices heard." Han'Gerrel turned pacing closer to Shala'Raan.

Shepard continued to breathe in and out, acknowledging the panic and rage flooding her every time Han'Gerrel spoke, and then doing her best to let it go.

Daro'Xen waved her hand. "Let them be included."

"Very well. Captain Shepard and Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, the Migrant Fleet thanks you for your mediation. Captain Shepard, we ask you to return to the Normandy while the Conclave votes. The quarians on your crew are welcome to stay aboard for the proceedings if they wish."

Shepard nearly cried out in relief.


	68. Chapter 45: On a Hypothetical

**Chapter 45: On a Hypothetical**

"Shepard." EDI's voice cut through the heavy fog of desperately needed sleep.

"Ungh?" Her eyelids fluttered twice before stubbornly staying closed. Her limbs felt like deadweight, and her head swam with the pull of sleep.

"Jack is requesting admittance. Would you like me to let her in?"

Shepard opened her eyes, lifting her head off of her mattress just enough to glance at the clock next to her bed. Two a.m. She groaned. Garrus shifted on the bed next to her, his heavy, deep breathing falling easily back into the steady rhythm of sleep.

Scrubbing her hand over her face, she punched her pillow a couple of times before settling her head back down. "Yeah, let her in." She heard the door open a second later, but sleep claimed her again right after.

"Shepard." Jack's hiss of a whisper dragged her back away from the dark ocean of sleep.

"Hmm?" Shepard opened her eyes, finding the whites of Jack's eyes inches from her face. "Fuck." She jerked back, earning her a flash of white teeth from the woman squatting next to her bed. "What's up, Jack?"

"I'm …." Jack ran a hand over her shaved, tattooed head and dropped her gaze to the floor. "I'm having a rough night. Can I …."

"You've got about three seconds before I fall asleep again. Spit it out, Jack. What do you need?" Shepard's eyes fluttered closed again as if to prove the point for her.

"Can I stay in here?"

She nodded her head against the pillow. "Mhmm."

A moment later the foot of the bed shifted, Jack's weight jostling Shepard until she opened her eyes again, restraining the urge to whimper with her exhaustion. Jack settled in between Shepard and Garrus, wriggling her way under the sheets.

The other woman's hand brushed across Shepard's ass as she settled in. "Fuck, Shepard! You're naked!"

"Hmm," Garrus' groggy voice filled the air, the bed moving again.

"'S my bed." Shepard tugged at the sheet, pulling it back up under her chin.

"Jack?" Confusion mixed with concern filled the turian's voice. "What's wrong? What happened?"

Shepard groaned. "Shhh. Sleep." And then she did exactly that.

When she awoke again, she found Jack sandwiched snuggly between her and Garrus. Jack's face pressed to Shepard's back, the other woman's arm draped over her waist. Garrus' arm stretched across both of them, his hand resting on Shepard's hip. Lifting the edge of the sheet, she used it to support their arms while she slid out from beneath the covers and out of the bed, easing the sheet back down behind her.

She grabbed her robe and glanced over her shoulder as she slid it on, finding both Garrus and Jack watching her. "Go back to sleep, I don't need you up yet."

Jack nodded, pulling Garrus' hand up to hold against her chest and nestled her face into the pillow, closing her eyes. He watched Shepard a moment longer, though, his one exposed mandible fluttering softly. She could see the worry in his eyes. Smiling at him, she mouthed the words 'I'm fine' before leaving them, making her way to the bathroom.

It wasn't any wonder he worried about her, she'd nearly lost her shit entirely in the middle of the Tonbay the day before and then again a few hours later while in a private meeting with just the Admirals, discussing the impending reaper invasion. Shepard still wasn't sure how she let herself get roped in to agreeing to escort the quarian convoy to Rannoch, but there the Normandy was, the spearhead of no less than fifteen quarian ships swiftly making their way toward the quarian homeworld.

She turned on the shower and slipped out of her robe. Stepping under the scalding hot water, she let out a weary sigh. It probably didn't help matters when Shepard made the mistake of reading the Council's message once they were finally settled back on the Normandy and headed toward the Perseus Veil. It wasn't as if they weren't all prepared for the Council to charge her with treason—which they assured her they'd do if she didn't return to the Citadel immediately—but the news sent Jane into a swift, downward spiral. The full system overload from Jane & Company brought Shepard to her knees in the middle of the CIC, her teeth grinding in agony as she dug her palms into her eye sockets. Thank the gods Garrus had been standing right there with her when it happened and kept the distraught yeoman as well as the rest of the Cerberus crew on deck at bay.

Less than a minute later, Miranda appeared at her side, slipping a needle into her neck while barking orders at Garrus to carry her to the med bay. Shepard passed out seconds after, the sedatives hitting her hard and fast. She learned later EDI made the judgment call to summon Miranda personally because 'the presence of the Cerberus operative would be more likely to ease the tension of the crew'. Damn if the unshackled AI didn't learn quick.

The bathroom door slid open, and she turned toward the noise. Garrus entered, making his way to the shower stall and stepping in behind her. He didn't say anything, just wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his forehead to the back of her head. She leaned into him, closing her hands over his, letting the hot water wash over them both.

She hummed softly, taking a deep breath to break the spell being in his arms put on her, lulling her into complacency in a galaxy hell bent on destroying her. "Jack go back to sleep?"

"Yeah." He pushed her hair aside and nuzzled against the back of her neck. "Thank you."

She tilted her head back, craning her neck to look at him. "For?"

"Letting her sleep with us last night."

"Sure, no problem." She rubbed her hand over his, squeezing his fingers. "You're working wonders with her, you know?"

"Hmmm." He tightened his grip around her. "I wish I could work wonders with you."

"Garrus … you're one of the only things holding me together." Turning around in his embrace, she draped her arms over his shoulders, running her fingers over the hide of his neck. "I can't do any of this without you."

He chuffed, giving her a light shake of his head. "We both know that's not true. You'd keep fighting with everything you have, it's who you are. Thank the Spirits you don't have to do it without me." His mandibles flicked with humor. "I make the team look good."

Jane chuckled softly, the sound—really more of a sensation—just barely registering with Shepard.

She grinned, lifting up on her toes to kiss him. "Damn right you do." Planting her feet back on the shower floor, she traced the edge of his mandible. "But I meant what I said; I need you Garrus. More than I have the words to express."

A deep thrum vibrated his chest, and he leaned down to kiss her. "I need you, too, Dawn." Flicking his mandibles, he reached down and gently smacked her ass. "We can't hide in here from the quarians all day, as appealing as it sounds. Come on, let's get you cleaned up so you can get some breakfast before singlehandedly ending the quarian exile."

She laughed and picked up the shampoo bottle. "Nah, this one isn't on me. It's on Lia and Tali. They did great and deserve all the credit."

A light chuckle escaped him, the laughter not quite touching the fear and worry in his eyes. "None of it would've ever happened without you."

"Maybe," she said, working the shampoo into lather. She turned her attention to getting clean, preparing herself both physically and mentally for the day ahead.

Jack still slept soundly when they finally dragged themselves from the shower. Shepard got dressed and ran a brush through her hair, leaving Garrus to wake the biotic. Jack grumbled, pulling herself up to sit on the edge of the bed, legs spread wide with her elbows braced on her knees. She rubbed her hands over her face and head before standing up and making her way past Shepard to the bathroom.

Patting Garrus' chest when he walked up the stairs, Shepard kissed the side of his face on her way to the door. "I'm heading down, I'll see you two in a bit." She took the elevator to the mess hall, unsurprised to find Lia pacing the floor just outside the elevator door.

The nervous quarian looked up when Shepard stepped out. "Shepard! I—I … I can't believe this is really happening," Lia said, wringing her hands as she fell into step next to Shepard. "I don't think I slept at all last night. How could I? I can't believe we're _actually_ going to Rannoch. Do you think this will really work out? We'll really get to go home for good?"

Grinning, Shepard draped her arm over Lia's shoulders, steering her toward the mess counter. "I do, and you'll forever be remembered as the quarian who made it possible. They'll be singing your praise for generations to come."

"Keelah, don't remind me." Lia accepted a tray from Gardner laden with packets of dextro nutrient paste and purified, bottled dextro fruit juice.

Shepard laughed, her smile quickly fading when Gardner handed her a tray with a bowl of Kasumi's grandmother's oatmeal—again. Sighing, she turned her attention back to Lia as they made their way to where Tali and Kal already sat. "Not a fan of the limelight, huh?"

"The what-light?" Lia sat down next to Tali, her gaze following Shepard.

Moving around to the other side of the table, she sat down, too. "The center of attention."

Lia shook her head, turning her attention to her tray. "Oh, um, not really."

Grundan Krul's ruddy hand appeared in front of Shepard, setting an extra large steaming mug down on her tray. "You look like you could use this."

Shepard twisted, tilting her head back to take in the batarian. "I love you."

He chuckled, awkwardly patting her shoulder before crossing his arms.

"No, really. I mean it. I love you." Grinning, she turned in her seat a little more. "Just say the word and I'll leave the turian and the drell. I'll be all yours."

He gave her a bemused shake of his head. "Sorry, Shepard. Humans don't do it for me."

"I tried." She winked at him, shrugging before patting the seat next to her. "Join us?"

He glanced at the three quarians, and Shepard followed his gaze. Lia looked to Tali, and Tali looked to Kal. The marine lifted a shoulder and nodded his head toward the bench next to Shepard. She quirked an eyebrow, intrigued by the sudden shift in power happening across the table from her. Whether Tali realized it or not, she led the trio long before Shepard convinced her to speak on their behalf with the Admiralty Board. She supposed it made some sense; Kal being the only one of the three to currently hold any real station in the quarian ranks, who better than the marine to decide whether it prudent to allow Grundan Krul—a member of a race more distrusted than quarians themselves—to join them while they discussed the fate of the quarian race.

Grundan Krul dipped his head and sat down next to Shepard. She thought it a good thing; if the batarian was going to be the next Shadow Broker, he needed to start gathering intel wherever he could find it. Information on the reunion between geth and quarians seemed like a good place to start.

Within a few minutes, they were joined by Garrus and then James and Kasumi. Before long, though, EDI interrupted the conversation to tell Shepard that Legion was in the cockpit, awaiting her orders. She excused herself from the table, leaving the others to continue on without her as she made her way up to the CIC.

Legion turned to her as she stepped into the cockpit. "Shepard-Commander, proceeding further without stating our intentions will be viewed as hostile activity. We are prepared to contact the Geth Consensus."

Joker spun his chair around to face her. "I just want to go on the record as saying this is insane."

Shepard smirked. "I'm sure EDI will take note of your opinion." She crossed her arms loosely in front of her and dropped her weight to one hip. "Have a little faith, Joker." She glanced at Legion and nodded. "Do it."

Long minutes passed in tense silence as the geth platform stood completely motionless, not even his optic plates moving. At last, Legion shifted, his single iris opening and closing as he turned his attention back to Shepard.

"I have received landing coordinates from Legion. Should I transmit them to the quarian ships?" EDI asked.

Shepard cocked an eyebrow at Legion. "We're good? The geth are willing to let the quarians land, too?"

"Yes."

She took a deep breath. "Alright, EDI, send the coordinates and inform the team."

"Right away, Shepard." EDI's hologram hovered above the cockpit's access node. "Coordinates have been sent, and Kal would like to speak to you in the comm room."

"I'll be right there." She nodded at Legion. "Let me know if anything changes." She glanced at the pilot having already turned back to his console, his hands moving over the holographic controls. "Bring us in slow, Joker, and stay in contact with the quarians."

"Aye, aye, Commander." Joker's response followed her out of the cockpit.

She passed through the tech labs just in time to see Kal enter the comm room alone, the door barely having the chance to close behind him before it slid open again for her. "Kal. Everything alright?"

He turned around to face her, tucking his hands behind his back, giving her a quick jerk of his head in the affirmative. "Yes, ma'am. I just wanted to take a moment to speak to Jane, if it's alright by you?"

 _"_ _Me?"_ Jane perked up, curiosity and excitement flooding the link between her and Shepard. She'd been pretty quiet, wallowing in silent self-pity since things went awry the day before.

"Oh, uh, sure." Shepard waved her hand a little. "Go ahead."

Kal dipped his head. "Thank you, ma'am." He lifted a hand, scratching at the hood covering the back of his head. "Jane … I hope I'm not overstepping, but I noticed things seemed … tense for Shepard yesterday aboard the Tonbay. I'm wondering if there is something I should be aware of; something to do with the geth or my people you might want to share?"

 _"_ _If you're asking how this whole thing today is going to work out, I can't help you."_ Jane gave him a mental shrug. _"Dawn's changed … everything."_ She waited while Shepard relayed the message, verbatim.

Kal tilted his head a little to the side. "What happened before?"

 _"_ _War."_ She sighed, the sound full of a sense of ancient exhaustion in Shepard's mind. _"While the reapers invaded the galaxy, the quarians started their own war with the geth. It was really kind of an asshole thing to do."_

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. "Jane, you don't have to be crass about it."

 _"_ _He asked."_

"It's alright, Commander." Kal held up a hand. "The quarians went to war? To reclaim Rannoch?"

 _"_ _The timing is complete shit. Pretty much every other race is fighting for their lives, watching their homeworlds be destroyed, their people eradicated by horrors beyond what you can imagine … and you guys are off picking a fight with the geth."_ Jane paused, giving Shepard the chance to catch up. _"I'm sure it seemed like the opportunity of a lifetime for the quarians, a chance to use the chaos to your advantage, but the whole galaxy needed you. Unlike the geth, the reapers weren't intent on just defending themselves. They weren't going to just chase us from our planets and call it a day. The reapers want to rip us apart; every last man, woman, and child."_

"Gods …." Shepard took a deep breath, tilting her head back to look at the ceiling as she fought back the urge to vomit over the images Jane's words brought to mind. Horrid memories beat against her defenses; monsters she'd have to fight, beasts forged from the dead of their races, mindlessly consumed with the purpose of destroying their kin.

"Shepard, if this is too much for you …." The concern in Kal's voice brought her attention fully back to him.

She gave him a wry smile and shook her head, knowing damn well the marine still carried one of those nifty syringes pre-filled with enough sedatives to knock her on her ass. "I'll be alright. Just not too sure you want to hear all of this in her words, even if the doc says it's supposed to help."

"As long as she's giving me facts, I don't care how she says it, ma'am." Kal lifted a shoulder.

"Yeah, as far as I can tell, the memories match up." She licked her lips. "Alright."

 _"_ _Watching the same stupid decisions be made over and over and over again would leave anyone with a bad taste in their mouths. If it makes it any better for you, the quarians weren't even the worst of it all. The Council had ample opportunity to take action and get the galaxy ready for the invasion, but instead they shoved their heads up their asses and denied every bit of evidence we brought them."_ Jane stopped and slowly her building ire started to fade again.

" _Anyway, that's beside the point for the moment."_ Pausing, she sorted though her thoughts, bringing snippets of images to the forefront of Shepard's mind. _"The quarians hit the geth hard enough it chased them straight into the reapers' waiting arms. The reapers drew the geth in with the promise of giving them what they needed to protect themselves from quarian aggression, but their method of delivery on the promise was to turn all geth into heretics."_

Kal shifted ever so slightly, but otherwise stayed silent with his hands tucked behind his back, his feet shoulder with apart. Shepard could feel the building tension rolling off the quarian, and began to question whether it was really wise to tell him everything. When he met her gaze, though, even through the darkly tinted glass of his visor, she felt the weight of a stare only a fellow marine could give, and she knew telling him anything less than the whole truth would be a huge disservice. So, she took a deep breath and continued.

 _"_ _I took my team to help the quarians pinned down by a geth dreadnaught in the Tikkun System. The galaxy was taking hard hits, and we needed the Migrant Fleet fighting on our side. If it meant taking a detour to help you guys get Rannoch back, then … whatever it takes."_ Jane sighed again, the same weary sound of a soldier who'd seen far too much. _"As Garrus calls it: the ruthless calculus of war. We thought the geth were lost to us … but then we found Legion again, strung up like a puppet in this reaper machine. The reapers were using him as a power source to boost the signal controlling the heretics. We freed him and he told us what happened, then he helped us to destroy the signal and disable the dreadnaught."_

Shepard swallowed, working up saliva in her dry mouth. Moving to the table, she pressed her palms to the surface and leaned forward. Looking up, she met Kal's gaze again and continued.

 _"_ _With the barriers and weapons down, leaving the dreadnaught defenseless, Han'Gerrel seized the moment, ordering the fleet to attack. Problem is, we were still onboard—Tali was still onboard! Hell, she's an Admiral by then, and Han'Gerrel didn't give it a second thought—despite Shala'Raan pleading with him to stop and get the civilian ships to safety instead. We barely made it out of there alive."_

"Tali becomes and Admiral?" Kal shook his head, bringing his arms up to cross them over his chest.

 _"_ _She did in our time … usually."_ Jane left unsaid the times Tali died long before the invasion.

Shepard already saw the memories, hell she'd had nightmares about them. She knew there were times when they lost people hitting the collector base. She'd watched Tali get shot down by collectors; Legion, too. She'd seen Grunt get swept up in a collector swarm. She'd relived losing Jack, Samara, Kasumi … even Garrus a time or two when bad choices were made. Shepard knew the risks, they all did, and she was doing everything she could to minimize losses.

Kal cleared his throat, drawing Shepard's attention back to him. "Admiral Gerrel has always been vocal about wanting to reclaim Rannoch, but I can't believe he'd turn on allies or risk the life of one of his own …."

 _"_ _The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. More ruthless calculus. He thought he was doing the right thing for the quarian people."_ Jane seemed to smirk, grim satisfaction flooding her link to Shepard. _"Of course it didn't stop me from hitting him the next time I saw him."_

"I can see that." Kal chuckled, relaxing enough to lean against the table himself.

 _"_ _Not always, though, some of us heard him out, listened to his excuses, and let bygones be bygones."_

"It must've been one hell of an apology." Kal rubbed his neck. "I'm not sure I'd be able to overlook a threat like that … especially not against Tali."

 _"_ _You can when it feels like the whole galaxy is riding on your every decision. Later, we went to Rannoch and cleared out a reaper base, took down one of the big, ugly bastards right there on your homeworld."_

"I saw vids of what Sovereign did to the fleets on the Citadel." He shifted, mimicking Shepard's posture, leaning toward her. "How did you take one down on Rannoch?"

 _"_ _Daro'Xen created a sync laser from geth tech. We hook it up to the Normandy's targeting system, and then connect the Migrant Fleet up to the Normandy, too. When the reapers open up to prime their weapons, they're the most vulnerable. Remember that. Hit 'em right in the ugly, red eye of theirs."_ More memories surfaced, doing a number on Shepard's heart rate. _"I used the laser to paint the target from the ground while the ships fired on it from orbit. It takes a few hits to down the son-of-a-bitch, but it gets the job done."_

"If we make peace with the geth today," Kal said, shaking his head a little, "Admiral Xen may not create this sync laser."

 _"_ _Maybe not, I have no way of knowing. But either way, we know where and when to hit them. Anyway, with the signal destroyed and the reaper down, the battle between the quarians and geth takes a turn; the quarians gain the upper hand and Han'Gerrel orders an all out attack on the disabled geth ships."_

He nodded. "It's strategically sound; hit the enemy while they're weak."

 _"_ _But the geth aren't the enemy. They never were. Without the reaper crap to control them, they're not bad people. It's no different than an organic being indoctrinated. Doesn't make every other member of their species psychotic."_ Jane huffed, wishing it weren't such a difficult concept for quarians to grasp. _"Geth don't want war, they don't want to kill the quarians, they just want to be allowed to live and grow like any other race. It's why they didn't purse the quarians past the Veil."_

"With all due respect, ma'am," Kal said, holding out a placating hand, "I'm less concerned with revisiting or debating distant history and more interested in what might go wrong in the more immediate future."

 _"_ _Which is exactly the line of reasoning that landed the quarians where they are. You've spent so long lying to yourselves about what happened during the Morning War, justifying your ancestors' actions … no one really knows the truth anymore. How can you learn from your mistakes if you don't even know what mistakes you made?"_

Kal took a deep breath and lowered his gaze to the table in front of him. "Fair point."

"It is, actually," Shepard said, holding hiz gaze, "but it's still another discussion for another time." She glanced at the table, directing her next question at Jane. "Are you going to tell him the rest of the story, or do I need to summarize things for him?"

 _"_ _I'll tell him."_

Shepard blew out a heavy breath before tucking stray hairs behind her ear. "Alright, let's get on with this, then."

 _"_ _So, Legion isolated some of the reaper code—the parts that made individual programs as intelligent as hundreds working together—without what made them do the reapers' bidding. He wanted to use it to uplift his people by uploading the code to the Geth Consensus; to save the geth."_ Jane gave the impression of throwing her hands up, the sense of defeat strong. _"Of course it meant the geth would destroy the quarians if they continued attacking. Tali argued against it, the fleets already resumed firing, and she didn't want her people to die anymore than Legion wanted his to."_

"Keelah," he said, his hands curling into fists against the table, "please tell me you didn't let the geth destroy my people."

 _"_ _I told Tali to try to call off the fleet and told Legion to upload the code. Peace was possible, Kal. The quarians just needed to be willing to accept it; willing to grasp the fact the ideas they held about the geth were wrong. I didn't want to see either side lose, but the geth didn't deserve to die fighting a war the quarians forced on them. If they'd been an organic species, no one would've ever expected me to stand back and watch them be slaughtered."_

He rubbed at the top of his head, just above his mask. "What happened?"

 _"_ _That time, between Tali, Shala'Raan, Zaal'Koris, and myself, we convinced Han'Gerrel to back down. Legion sacrificed himself to upload the code to the Consensus, but peace was formed between the quarians and geth. The quarians returned to Rannoch, and the geth helped them rebuild. Helped them to jumpstart their immune systems the way Legion is doing with Lia. More importantly, in the grand scheme of things, both races lent their efforts and resources to the reaper war."_

"That time." Kal sounded haunted; broken and defeated. "Not every time?"

 _"_ _No, not every time. Most of the time, but not every time. We have to choose whether or not to let Legion upload the code, there's never been a way around it before. When everything goes right, the quarians back down. If despite all of our efforts, we can't convince Han'Gerrel to call off the heavy fleet … either we tell Legion to stop uploading the code. He tries to convince us to change our minds, and if we don't, he attacks us. Which really … I can't say I blame him. Tali kills Legion, saving us and preventing him from finishing the upload anyway. The quarians destroy the geth because the Admiral is too stupid and stubborn to accept maybe, just maybe, if he took his head out of his ass long enough to give peace a chance, things might've just worked out for everyone."_

Shepard pushed away from the table, running her hands through her hair. "Kal, are you sure you want to hear this?"

He said nothing, only giving her a sharp nod.

 _"_ _Or … we let Legion upload his code, and the geth fight back, completely overwhelming the quarians. It's too much for Tali to handle."_

"What do you mean?" He leaned a little closer. "What happens to Tali?"

Shepard grimaced, shaking her head. "Kal …."

"No." The word came out sharp and biting as he pushed away from the table. "I know what you're implying, and Tali would never. She wouldn't do that to her father, or to me."

 _"_ _Tali's father is only alive because Dawn tipped Tali off about—."_

"Let me take it from here." Shepard thought, interrupting Jane. "I'm sorry, but just let me handle this. Please?"

 _"_ _Whatever. As far as he's concerned, it's all figurative. A future that isn't going to happen; something he never has to deal with, so what does it matter?"_ Jane retreated, pulling back into the recesses of Shepard's mind.

Shepard moved to the other side of the table, leaving a few feet between her and the wounded marine. "A lot of things happened differently in Jane's time. By the time the reapers invaded, Rael'Zorah died as a result of his geth experiments on the Alarei. She didn't tell you?"

He shook his head. "No."

"I warned her what would happen to him, and she tried to convince him to stop. He wouldn't listen, though. He'd been collecting geth parts; having Tali send him back inert pieces collected in the field." She held up a hand when his eyes widened behind his mask. "She had no idea he'd been using them along with whatever else he could find to rebuild whole platforms. He thought he could figure out a way to reclaim Rannoch. If she didn't stop him, he would've reactivated the heretics, and they would've killed everyone on the ship. It's why she turned him in to the Admiralty Board; it was the only way for her to save his life."

Kal didn't respond, studying the table's surface in silence. After a second or two he took a deep, shaky breath and shook his head. It seemed to Shepard the gesture wasn't meant for her, but whatever thoughts were running through his head.

She let her words hang in the air for a moment longer before continuing. "The first time Jane met you was on Haestrom. You were there with a group of other marines assigned to protect Tali. She'd been sent there to try and figure out why the system's sun is dying."

Kal turned his head to look at her. "Yeah, we've been looking into it. We lost two teams on Haestrom … but Tali wasn't ever sent there."

Shepard shrugged. "There's been a lot of things happening differently in my lifetime. I've fought like hell to change things in the hopes of saving more lives and breaking this cycle I'm apparently cursed to repeat. The reasons for some changes are obvious and easy to track. Others not so much." She thought about it for a minute, considering some of the oddities since she woke up on Cerberus' slab. "I don't suppose you know a quarian named Veetor? A little unstable?"

"Why, what happens to Veetor?" Kal's shoulder's sagged, his voice filled with the dread of more bad news.

Shepard chuckled and shook her head. "Hopefully nothing. He just wasn't where I expected him to be; where he's always been for Jane, and I've never been sure why. He's alright, though, yeah?"

"As much as can be said for Veetor." Kal pushed away from the table, turning to face the wall the same as Shepard. "He's on his Pilgrimage." He rubbed his shoulder before crossing his arms. "An asari planet: Hyetiana." Turning his head, he held her gaze. "What were you saying about Haestrom?"

"It's crazy, for me. I've got all of these different versions of reality inside my head. It's even worse since the coma or whatever the hell Dr. Chakwas is calling it." Shepard sucked on her teeth as she worked through her thoughts. "It's not just like watching a vid when these memories happen anymore. It's like I lived through it all myself. I can tell you how Haestrom smelled through the vents in my suit, but I've never actually been there. This body has never actually stepped foot on the planet."

She glanced down at the floor, scuffing the toe of her boot against the metal surface. "Anyway, those are the first memories I have of you. When the others first found you on Haestrom, you were barely holding ground, your back pressed to a wall, your team gone. You were worn out, dealing with suit ruptures, but damn if you weren't determined to get to Tali trapped on the other side behind enemy lines. Heretics. You helped cover my six while my team broke through to her. Jane's six, I mean. Sorry. She liked you from the start, I think they all did."

She cleared her throat. "It seemed pretty obvious the two of you—you and Tali—had the start of something. Jane would've gladly taken you aboard the Normandy when Tali rejoined the crew, but you had your duties to the Migrant Fleet. Tali threw herself into fighting the collectors with the Normandy crew, and then into her duties as an Admiral, trying to lead her people through not only a reaper invasion, but a war with the geth. The two of you never quite connected long enough for a relationship to form. I'm not really sure where you were through all of it, but …." She shook her head, shrugging. "Point is, Tali didn't have her father anymore in those times, and she didn't have what she has now with you … but even if she did, it stands to reason both you and Rael'Zorah would've been right there on the front lines, ready to retake Rannoch."

"What would you do, Shepard?" he asked, intently holding her gaze when she looked at him. "If things weren't changing, and you had to choose between the quarian and the geth?"

EDI's hologram popped up in the center of the table. "Shepard, we are approaching the landing zone."

"Thanks EDI, let the team know." Her gaze didn't leave Kal's as she spoke. She waited for EDI's hologram to disappear once more, giving them the illusion of privacy. "Kal, there's something I want to point out about Jane's story." She pushed away from the table, turning to face him fully. "Nothing is set in stone. I've proven that already. The events leading to those scenarios have already been changed. Tali's father is alive, you two are together—which is fantastic, I might add—and we're about to step off of this ship and onto Rannoch."

She forced a smile on her face. "You're going to be one of the first quarians to see your homeworld since the exile. Take off your mask and breathe Rannoch air, if you like—Tali always does. Then … you're going to have to decide whether to stand by Tali and support her while she helps to lead your people in forging a path with the geth to bring you all home, or let Jane's stories of what could've been sour the taste of a peaceful coexistence for you." She put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing just hard enough to drive home her point. "There never has to be another war between the quarians and geth. I don't need to ever be forced into making that heart-wrenching decision. So please don't ask me to make it on a hypothetical."

Kal lowered his gaze. "Fair enough. I'll … take it under advisement."

She patted his shoulder. "Glad to hear it. Be ready when the hangar door opens." She turned on her heel, leaving Kal alone to ponder everything he'd learned and returned to the cockpit to watch their descent.

Joker brought the Normandy down through Rannoch's atmosphere, angling the frigate at a long stretch of barren plateau. Geth ships, looking like nothing more than beetles scurrying over the landscape, flew over the craggy rocks and desert, approaching low and slow.

"The geth vessels have active barriers, but weapons are powered down," EDI said, drawing Shepard's attention away from the planet.

She chewed on the corner of her lip. "And the quarian ships?"

"Only four of the quarian ships have followed us through Rannoch's atmosphere. The others have remained in orbit. They haven't activated weapons but all barriers have been reinforced."

"Good. If anything changes, I want to know the second it happens."

"Acknowledged." EDI's hologram stood motionless for a moment, and then the slit symbolizing a mouth of sorts began to move again. "Shepard, the geth have identified me as an AI and are attempting to establish communication with me. How would you like me to respond?"

It didn't exactly surprise her, but Shepard wanted to step on as few metaphorical toes as possible while the quarians held their negotiations with the geth. "What are they saying?"

"They are asking me to identify myself."

Legion shifted, turning his head between EDI's hologram and Shepard. "The only others like us we have encountered are the Old Machines. EDI contains code and technology designed by the Old Machines."

"Introduce yourself, EDI." Shepard shrugged. "Reassure them you aren't under the control of the reapers." She glanced at the geth platform standing next to her. "Legion, can you confirm this for the rest of the geth?"

"Yes."

"As you wish, Shepard." EDI fell silent again for a few seconds. "The geth are interested in an exchange of information. I suggested it might be prudent for us to focus on diplomatic discussions with the quarians for the time being."

"Sounds good, EDI." She patted Joker on the shoulder as the Normandy settled to the ground, throwing dust up into the air. "Get comfortable, this may take awhile."

He slumped down into his seat, tugging his hat down low over his eyes. "EDI, wake me up if things get exciting."

"Shall I select a vid from your recent browsing history to play as an alarm, Jeff?"

"Ha. Ha. Ha." Joker turned his head, tilting it back to glare at the hologram. "No, EDI."

Shepard laughed, leaving EDI to her teasing as she made her way from the cockpit, waving at Legion to follow her. Together they took the elevator down to the hangar bay. She wasn't surprised to see the three quarians already waiting, clustered together. Kal held Tali firmly against his side, but looked up at Shepard as she stepped off the elevator. She couldn't see his expression through his mask, but he gave her a slow, shallow nod of his head. She hoped it meant he was all in, ready to support the idea of peace with the geth.

Legion crossed the hangar floor without word, moving to Lia's side, and the young quarian threaded her arm through his. Shepard glanced around, doing a head count. Garrus stood off to one side, talking with James. She didn't see Kasumi anywhere, but it didn't mean the thief wasn't around. Thane and Samara stood not too far away from Garrus and James, seemingly content in their mutual silence. The elevator opened behind her and Mordin stepped out with Grundan Krul.

She hadn't chosen a specific squad for Rannoch, instead leaving it open for anyone who wanted to be present and could promise to be on their best behavior. This wasn't her show and dance, it belonged to the quarians. As far as she was concerned, everyone else—including herself—was just there to watch history in the making; for posterity's sake. If anyone not present wanted to see Rannoch, they knew where to find the hangar; she wasn't going to wait around. "Open the hangar door, EDI. I want to be there when the quarians leave their ships."

"Right away, Shepard."

The hiss of hydraulics drew the attention of everyone else in the hangar, all eyes turning toward the shifting door. They gathered around the lowering door as the first rays of Tikkun's sun filled the hangar bay. With unspoken agreement, everyone held back, waiting for the three quarians and Legion to take the lead.

Shepard nodded when Tali looked back over her shoulder. "We're right behind you."

The quarian ships where just opening up as Shepard stepped down from the Normandy. She watched as a handful of quarians from each ship slowly made their way down the ramps, pressing close to one another, their heads swiveling from side to side as they pointed at ancient structures off on the horizon. As they got closer, Shepard recognized the familiar patterns of Han'Gerrel and Zaal'Koris' suits. She held her breath a moment, waiting to see if Jane would panic over Han'Gerrel's presence, but thankfully she seemed a little more composed than the day before. Maybe Dr. Chakwas was right, getting the chance to talk to someone else a little helped keep Jane oriented.

The sound of engines drew her attention, and she turned, seeing the geth ships rising up from below the cliff side. They cruised a little closer before coming to a stop, hovering midair. Geth, folded in on themselves, dropped from the ships, each one throwing up a cloud of dust on impact. Glancing over her shoulder, she waved to the quarians—who'd stopped in their tracks—beckoning them forward. Zaal'Koris squared his shoulders gesturing to the crowd, herding them like scared sheep. Han'Gerrel's hands opened and closed a few times as if they were itching to draw a weapon and open fire, but after a moment he stopped and helped Zaal'Koris get the others moving again.

Garrus leaned into Shepard, keeping his voice low. "Are you sure you want to be out here without armor?"

"What would it say to the quarians if I boarded the Tonbay without armor, telling them they can trust the geth, but then showed up here in full suit?"

"It's not the geth I'm worried about." He jerked his head in the direction of the approaching quarians. "Look at them; they're scared out of their minds. In my experience, letting a bunch of scared people carry weapons tends to not turn out well."

"There's no way they were going to come unarmed." Shepard glanced back and forth between the approaching quarians and geth. "It's going to work out. It has to … but just in case, keep your eye on Admiral Han'Gerrel."

 _"_ _No it doesn't."_ Jane scoffed. _"And letting him come was a bad idea."_

Garrus straightened, crossing his arms over his chest. "You got it."

The quarians made their way to Shepard's group, Zaal'Koris stepping up to stand at her other side. Han'Gerrel, thankfully, kept his distance from her, instead lingering close to the other quarians. She glanced up at Zaal'Koris, the sharper angle of his nose just barely visible behind his mask. She could feel the excitement rolling off of the quarian, even if he did a decent job of keeping it under wraps. He turned his head down, the shadows nearly hiding his eyes from that angle, and nodded his head at her before returning his attention to the rapidly approaching geth primes and troopers.

Legion broke away from Lia, leaving her to meet the other geth about fifteen yards out. After a moment, he turned, leading his people back to Shepard and the others. Nervous quarian feet shuffled against rock and dirt behind her, but they held their ground.

Legion came to a stop right in front of Shepard, the other geth hanging back a few yards. "Shepard-Commander, we need to return to the Geth Consensus to fully share the information we have gathered since we were last here. We will return to this platform to rejoin the Normandy crew when we have finished."

She nodded. "Go ahead, Legion. We're not going anywhere without you."

Legion crouched, folding himself into a neat, rounded package at her feet. She supposed he meant to keep the platform safe and to prevent it from toppling over while unoccupied. Lia rushed over, sliding to a stop next to Legion's inert form.

"He'll be back." Shepard stepped around Legion, putting a guiding hand on Lia's back. "Come on, time to make nice with the locals."

Shepard and her team closed the distance between the two groups; Zaal'Koris keeping step at her side. She glanced over her shoulder to see a gap of several yards between her and the rest of the quarians, but eventually they started to shuffle forward, Han'Gerrel in the lead.

A red prime stepped out to meet her. "Shepard-Commander, the geth welcomes the Normandy's crew and the creators to Rannoch."

"Thank you. We appreciate your willingness to meet with us. I hope the geth and quarians are able to come to a mutually beneficial agreement." She turned holding a hand out toward Zaal'Koris. "This is Admiral Zaal'Koris vas Qwib-Qwib." She turned gesturing towards Han'Gerrel who stepped forward as the geth's attention turned to him. "And this is Admiral Han'Gerrel vas Neema. They've come to ensure the safety of their people and negotiate on behalf of the Migrant Fleet. I'd also like to introduce Tali'Zorah vas Neema, Kal'Reegar vas Neema, and Lia'Vael vas Qwib-Qwib. Tali, Kal, and Lia are a part of the Normandy's crew, and Lia in particular has been working closely with the geth platform on our crew—we call the platform Legion." She glanced over her shoulder at the other quarians before looking to Zaal'Koris. "I'm afraid I don't know the names of the others with you. Perhaps you can make the rest of the introductions?"

"Of course, thank you, Commander." Zaal'Koris turned, beckoning the crowd closer.

Shepard took the opportunity to take a few steps back, putting a little distance between herself and the quarians—particularly Han'Gerrel. She hoped by sticking to the sidelines, she'd make it clear she wasn't there to negotiate for the quarians. She refused to take sides, they needed to do it themselves. The rest of her crew took the hint, stepping aside with her. She watched as each quarian stepped forward, dipping their heads or waving their hands as Zaal'Koris called them by name.

Her crew pulled back to where Legion's platform still sat, basking in the shade of the Normandy and giving the geth and quarians a little more space while the old enemies worked to become new friends. They talked quietly among themselves, swiftly giving up on including her in the conversation. She'd tried, at first, to take part in the conversation, but she couldn't quite focus on what anyone said. Her attention kept drifting back to Han'Gerrel and the uneasy feeling he left in the pit of her stomach.

Not twenty minutes into the discussion, the admiral slowly began separating himself from the group. Zaal'Koris continued on without him, either oblivious to the absence of the other admiral, or simply uncaring. In fact, none of the quarians seemed to notice—their eyes all glued to the geth—except for Kal. The marine broke away from Tali and made his way over to Han'Gerrel.

"Shepard, the quarian ships still in orbit have begun moving." EDI's voice came through Shepard's comm, startling her.

 _"_ _Where are they going?"_

"I don't know," Shepard thought, narrowing her eyes at Han'Gerrel, now appearing to be arguing with Kal. "We've got a problem," she said aloud, reaching out and touching Garrus' arm before moving around behind the crowd toward the admiral.

Garrus followed her. "What's wrong?"

"EDI says the quarian ships in orbit are on the move." She nodded her head toward the two bickering quarians. "Wherever they're going, I'm betting it's on his orders."

"… Legion. I've seen her without her mask." Kal waved his arm out behind him toward the crowd, his voice low and heavy with restraint. "With all due respect, sir, you don't know what you're talking about."

"Where are your ships going, Admiral?" Shepard asked, drawing the attention of both quarians. She came to a stop a few feet away from Han'Gerrel, and crossed her arms over her chest.

"It's not your concern, Shepard." The admiral waved a dismissive hand. "You can put your faith in the geth if you want to, but these are my people we're talking about, and it's my duty to protect them."

Kal turned his attention back to Han'Gerrel. "How will you be protecting us if you incite a war?"

Han'Gerrel spun on Kal, pressing a finger into the marine's chest. "If _I_ incite a war? The geth _are our enemies_. They stand here on _our_ world welcoming us to Rannoch as if it belongs to them and we are nothing more than beggars come to simper at their feet in hopes of scraps!" He rammed both hands into Kal's shoulders, shoving him back. "We are already—."

Shepard lunged forward and grabbed Han'Gerrel's wrist, twisting it behind him, and planting her foot in the back of his knee, she dragged him to the ground. He screamed, whether in shock or pain she wasn't sure and she didn't care. She knelt down next to him, one knee keeping him pinned face first into the dirt. "Let me make something clear." Her words came out between clenched teeth; taking every bit of her restraint not to lay into the quarian. "Kal is a member of _my_ crew. He's serving on _my_ ship, under _my_ command, which means _you_ keep your hands off of him or I'll break your goddamn fingers."

 _"_ _I say do it anyway."_

"Uh, Shepard?" Garrus' subvocals trembled with warning.

She looked up, following his gaze back to the crowd a few yards away. Several quarians held weapons aimed at her.

 _"_ _Or maybe not."_

They looked back and forth between her, Zaal'Koris, and the geth now at their backs. The geth stood by, watching with an almost eerie calm, seemingly unconcerned so long as the weapons weren't pointed at them. Zaal'Koris waved his hands up and down, urging them to lower their weapons. Tali held out her hands, putting herself between Shepard and the other quarians. She could just make out the anxious sound of Tali's voice, but couldn't hear what she was saying to the crowd. Whatever it was, it did the trick; they re-holstered their weapons.

Zaal'Koris made his way over, stopping next to Kal as he waved his hand out at Shepard and the subdued admiral. "Under different circumstances, I might find this scene amusing …."

"Sorry, sir, but Admiral Gerrel ordered the rest of our ships to scout out the geth space stations." Kal squared his shoulders. "He's hoping to find weaknesses to use against the geth. His actions could be seen as hostile activity, sir, endangering everyone here." He tucked his hands behind his back. "I attempted to convince him it's an unwise course of action, but he wouldn't be swayed." He glanced down at Shepard. "Commander Shepard intervened when he resorted to the use of physical aggression to get his point across to me."

Zaal'Koris' gaze swept over Shepard before he lifted a hand to his comm. "This is Admiral Zaal'Koris. I'm countermanding the orders of Admiral Han'Gerrel. All ships will return to Rannoch orbit at once, or I will insist the ship captains be charged with treason on the grounds of sabotaging negotiations for peace." A moment later he nodded to no one in particular and crouched down in front of Han'Gerrel. "I will _not_ allow you to ruin this for us, Han. We have a chance here to not only make amends for the misbegotten actions of our ancestors, but to _bring our people home_."

"You're all fools if you believe the geth won't turn on us the second they have the opportunity." Han'Gerrel cursed under his breath, the words muffled. "Our deaths will be on your head, Zaal." He struggled against Shepard, trying to pull himself free.

She wrenched his arm up further behind him, ripping a strangled gasp from the quarian. "I suggest you be still before I decide you don't need your fingers after all." She turned her attention to Zaal'Koris. "What do you want to do, Admiral?"

Zaal'Koris took a deep breath. "I defer to you on this matter … Spectre."

She reached up, activating her comm. "Shepard to Normandy." She waited for EDI's responding query. "Send Grunt out here, please."

"Right away, Shepard."

"Shepard-Commander, are you in need of assistance?" Legion's voice came from somewhere behind her.

She glanced over her shoulder, finding not only Legion—she didn't even know when he'd returned to his platform—but the rest of her crew watching, hands hovering over holstered weapons or with biotic flames licking at their fingers. "I've got the situation under control." She turned back to Zaal'Koris. "I'm placing him under guard on my ship until the talks are over and you're ready to return to the Migrant Fleet. I'll release him to you, then. I suggest you keep him under guard at least until you've left the Perseus Veil. What happens then is up to you and the rest of the Admiralty Board."

He nodded. "Thank you, Shepard."

"Just go fix this with the geth." She stood, pulling Han'Gerrel to his feet. Disarming him, she handed his weapons to Kal before steering the admiral toward the Normandy.

Grunt met her on the ramp, accepting the quarian when she passed the prisoner off without question.

"Take him to your quarters and keep him there." She glared at the admiral. "If he tries to leave or contact anyone … break something non-lethal then call Dr. Chakwas. I'll be back for him when this is done."

Grunt laughed, shoving Han'Gerrel ahead of him. "Come on, pyjak. Let's play a game."

"Grunt?" Shepard called after the retreating krogan. "Only if he tries to leave or contact anyone. Or of course if he's stupid enough to lay a finger on you or anyone else on the ship. And don't deny him food and drink—dextro!"

"Don't worry, Shepard. If the pyjak behaves, you'll get him back in one piece," He said, not bothering to stop or even look at her.

She shook her head and turned around, making her way back down the ramp to join her crew.

James took a couple of steps up the ramp to meet her, looking past her toward where Grunt disappeared with Han'Gerrel. "Everything alright, Ídolo?"

"Gods, I hope so." She glanced at the crowd of quarians and geth, once again holding one another's attention. "We're overdue for a win, you know?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, following her gaze out at the geth. "Yeah."


	69. Chapter 46: Ket'yah

**Chapter 46: Ket'yah**

The shuttles landed in a clearing just outside rows of sprawling buildings, crumbling into ruins, left to disrepair in the absence of the quarians for so many years. A geth drop ship flew overhead, the cargo doors opening to let geth platforms plummet to the ground. Others scrambled up from the ruins, making their way to the shuttles. Garrus opened the Normandy's shuttle door, and Shepard stepped out, the rest of her people following behind her.

Samara stopped next to her, looking out over the buildings. "I came here once, in my maiden years. War and time have not been kind to this place."

Shepard glanced at the ancient asari. "Are they ever kind?"

A gentle smile lifted the corners of Samara's mouth as she met Shepard's gaze. "No, but unlike the lives lost here, this place can be restored to its former beauty. You have done well, Shepard, to reunite these two races."

Zaal'Koris stepped out of one of the quarian shuttles a few yards in front of them, Lia and Legion right behind him. Tali and Kal made their way from another, stopping to talk to an older quarian woman who pointed at one of the buildings before swinging her arm around to point at another.

"Thanks, but I'm just helping things along. Making sure the peace isn't broken before it even gets started just because someone lets their fear make them twitchy." She nodded to where the quarians were starting to gather around the geth platforms emerged from the ruins and started walking in their direction. "Looks like the tour's about to start."

"These structures aren't habitable. They'll need serious work if the quarians plan to live in them," Grundan Krul said from behind her.

"Most likely will continue to live in ships while reconstruction in progress." Mordin moved up on Shepard's other side, keeping step with her. "Geth offered to help rebuild. Will shorten time it takes significantly. Planet viability more concerning. Geth efforts to clear away pollutants from air, water, and soil since Morning War crucial to re-habitation."

"Doesn't look like they've done much in this area." James stopped at the partially caved in entrance of a building, several quarians—Lia among them—disappearing into the shadows ahead of him, guided by a geth prime, two troopers, and Legion.

Mordin sniffed. "This area not essential. Efforts likely focused on areas closer to water and plant life; life sustaining areas of Rannoch."

James cocked an eyebrow, waving a hand around at the ruins. "Why'd they bring us here, then?"

Mordin opened his omni-tool, scanning the architecture. "Reclamation of cultural artifacts. Show of good faith to take back to Migrant Fleet."

"Right." James turned back to the piles of debris. "Are we going in there, too?"

"Nah, let them have their moment. Besides, the fewer people moving around in there, the better. The whole thing looks like it's one false step away from crashing down." Shepard sighed, sadness settling in over her, weighing her down. "Liara would've loved this."

 _"_ _Yeah, she really would've."_ Jane hummed in the back of Shepard's head. _"I wonder if after I died—if the reapers really were defeated and life went on for everyone else—if Liara came back to Rannoch. The quarian ruins aside, there's got to be some prothean stuff around here somewhere."_

"I don't know, maybe," Shepard thought. "Wasn't she pretty busy doing the whole Shadow Broker thing? I'm sure the galaxy needed her help after the war, getting resources to all the right places."

 _"_ _She was young, though, and archeology was her passion once."_ Heartache swept back and forth between Jane and Shepard in an endless loop. _"I want to think she'd have returned to what made her happy. They all returned to what made them happy. Before all of the death and destruction."_

"Yeah." She let the thought linger for a moment. "Me, too."

The joyous squeals of quarian laughter, echoing out of one of the other buildings nearby, cut through the emotional funk surrounding Shepard. A moment later, two quarians stepped out of the ruins, carrying a large painting between the two of them. Discolored by time and countless layers of dirt, Shepard couldn't make out the image. Whatever it was, the quarians sure seemed excited. She watched as they carried it over to one of the shuttles, propping it against the vehicle while one of them climbed inside. When he returned, he passed something to the woman with him, and she began brushing away the dirt while he scanned the painting with his omni-tool.

Shepard sat down on a fallen stone pillar in the shade and watched as quarians and geth moved in and out of the ruins, carrying things back to the shuttles. After awhile, her team began to wander off one by one, drawn in by the quarians' excitement. Despite what she'd said, she saw several of them entering the crumbling buildings. Letting go of a weary sigh, she shrugged it off; she hadn't exactly made it an order. She spotted James and Grundan Krul helping to move heavy pieces of debris while Samara and Thane helped in other areas, stabilizing chunks of rock with their biotics. Garrus became a pack mule, carrying armfuls of stuff to shuttles while Mordin scanned everything from the buildings themselves to the dirt and rocks surrounding the area.

"How old do you think this place is?" Shepard thought, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees.

 _"_ _No idea, but if I had to guess, I'd say this place already started to fall apart before the war."_

She grunted, letting her thoughts drift again. After awhile, restlessness set in and she pushed herself to her feet. Going in search of Zaal'Koris, she finally found him a few minutes later at the back of a building. It didn't take her long to realize the place was once a temple, or perhaps a museum of sorts. Near the middle of the building, entire rooms remained mostly undisturbed, the structure supported by columns holding the crushing weight of the caved in floor above at bay.

The admiral stood alone in a room not quite so untouched; the outer wall little more than a gaping hole letting daylight and fresh air inside. He had his arms crossed, looking down at a tarnished metal, egg-like shape tucked into an alcove. He glanced over his shoulder as Shepard approached before turning his attention back to the alcove.

Stopping next to him, she tucked her hands behind her back. "What is it?"

He shook his head. "I have no idea." Looking up, he turned in a slow circle, sweeping his arms out at the room. His voice took on a decidedly melancholy note when he continued, "All of this … my heritage, and I have no idea what most of it even is."

She let her gaze roam over the room, taking in several small stone statuettes, barely recognizable as a quarian's form, the finer details eroded away over time. A large metal basin of sorts set on stone pedestal in one corner of the room, its twin in the opposite corner. Torn and faded tapestries showing beautiful, lush grottos lined the walls.

The echoing sound of footsteps drew her attention to the door, and she saw a geth step into the grand archway and stop. Shepard tilted her head toward the trooper watching them, and Zaal'Koris turned to look. "I bet the geth can tell you." She smirked. "They have long memories."

"Creator Koris, are you in need of assistance?" The trooper stepped into the room, moving a few feet closer before coming to a stop again.

Zaal'Koris glanced back and forth between the geth and Shepard before looking over his shoulder at the alcove. "Perhaps … do the geth know what this is used for?" He stepped aside, gesturing at the lump of metal.

The trooper crossed the floor, stopping in front of the alcove. Tilting his head to the side, he examined the object in question before picking it up, cradling it against his chest. Turning it first one way and then the other, the geth touched a few places, mechanical fingers gliding over the metal surface, and the device began to unfold into the vaguely familiar shape of a horn of sorts.

"The creators used this to make music by breathing through here," He said, pointing at a flattened piece with a slit, the slight concaved underside clearly designed to fit comfortably against a lip, "and alternating the airflow by covering the holes here." He pointed out the three rows of holes along the sides and top before holding the instrument out toward Zaal'Koris. "We cannot demonstrate; the geth do not breathe."

Zaal'Koris accepted the horn from the trooper, turning it over in his hands. He stroked the metal as lovingly as if it were a newborn child. After a moment, he carefully set it back in the alcove and opened his omni-tool. Running his fingers over the keys triggered a hissing sound from his suit. He closed the omni-tool again and lifted a hand halfway to his mask, hesitating.

Shepard raised an eyebrow, watching him with curiosity. "Antibiotics?"

He turned to look at her, his eyes widening behind his mask for just a second, giving her the impression he'd forgotten she was there. "It's foolish, I know. Sentimental, but …."

"But you're standing on Rannoch, the safest place in the galaxy for you to remove your mask, and you've been given an instrument made by your people, capable of making sounds no quarian has heard in hundreds of years." She pursed her lips and nodded. "Do you want to be alone?"

He blinked several times, a wry huff of breath—almost but not quite a laugh—light up his respirator. "You're not at all what I imagined, Shepard." He squared his shoulders, raising his chin in an almost defiant motion. "I'd be honored if you'd stay."

She chuckled, moving back a few steps. "Sounds like I don't really want to know what you thought of me before, do I? I'd be honored to stay." She backed away a little further, putting extra distance between the two of them so at the least she wasn't breathing on the quarian when he'd be the most vulnerable.

 _"_ _Probably about as much as we thought of him."_

Brushing aside her rhetorical question, he bowed his head, and lifted his hand to his face once more. Pulling his mask away, tendrils of silver hair fell free from his hood, leaving Shepard wondering just how old the admiral might be. His smooth skin certainly showed no sign of the wear and tear she'd expect to see on a human with grayed hair. Looking around him, he blinked a few times, his eyes reflecting the soft light of the room as he took in his surroundings. The geth platform stood motionless next to him, but Shepard new the programs inside studied the quarian's every move with rapt attention.

After a moment, he picked up the instrument before carefully setting the mask down in its place. His gaze flicked to Shepard before lowering to the horn in his hand. A sudden blush sprung to life on the admiral's angular, high cheekbones and his gaze shifted to her again, only to flit away just as fleetingly as the first time. He cleared his throat. "No one's seen my face in nearly twenty cycles. I'd forgotten how unnerving it can be. Perhaps more so being seen by someone who isn't quarian."

Shepard smiled, crossing her arms loosely over her chest. "I can still leave if you want."

He kept his gaze lowered but shook his head a little, letting more hair spill free to frame his face. "No."

Of all the admirals, Zaal'Koris had always been the stuffiest, so seeing him thrown off kilter tickled her a little. She bit the inside of her lip, giving in to the urge to tease the quarian. "If it helps, I can honestly say you're the most attractive male quarian I've ever seen."

He scoffed, just a gentle huff of his breath, but the corner of his mouth twitched up. "I'd wager I'm the only male quarian you've ever seen." Meeting her gaze, he raised an eyebrow. "Unless Kal'Reegar has also been removing his mask aboard the Normandy?"

She shook her head, her grin growing. "Nope. You're my first." She nodded her head at the horn. "Let's hear it."

He brought the instrument to his mouth, shifting his hands as he tried to figure out how best to hold it and which holes to cover. Glancing between the geth and Shepard, he sucked in a deep breath and blew into the horn. The resulting high-pitched screech brought a grimace to her face and made Zaal'Koris flinch. He adjusted his fingers, covering different holes and tried again, blowing a little softer. A deep, almost mournful sound filled the air; sounding no better but definitely less painful than the first.

He moved his fingers around some more, playing a hodgepodge mix of poorly executed notes before he finally stopped. Pulling the instrument away, he looked at it, brow furrowed and eyes narrowed, as if it deeply offended him. Shepard let go of a bark of laughter. His gaze shot up, his eyes widening as if her sense of humor shocked him more than the sounds he'd made with the horn.

She covered her mouth with the side of her fist and choked down the fit of residual giggles. Shaking her head, she cleared her throat. "That was terrible, but the look on your face is worth the damage to my ears."

 _"_ _What happened to diplomacy?"_ Jane asked, her voice light and teasing.

"If you think you can do better, you're welcome to try." He raised his eyebrow, his moment of shyness apparently a thing of the past; the haughty expression she'd always imagined from Zaal'Koris appearing on his face.

She held up a hand in surrender, both to the admiral and to Jane. "The only music I'm good with is the sharp staccato of rapid gunfire."

 _"_ _Mastered those instruments long ago."_

"I've heard her sing in the shower, she's not lying." Garrus' voice drew her attention to the doorway where he stood, mandibles fluttering lightly as he watched the mask-less quarian. "The shuttles are as full as they can be and still carry everyone back to the ships, Admiral."

Jane snickered in the back of Shepard's mind, bringing another light titter of laughter from Shepard.

"Thank you," Zaal'Koris said, picking up his mask and setting the instrument back down. "I suppose there will be time for further exploration later." Tucking his hair back inside, he slipped his mask back into place, his suit hissing as it resealed. He turned, leaving the instrument behind as he and the geth made their way toward the door.

Shepard picked up the horn, reaching out to touch the quarian's arm. She held the horn out to him when he turned to look at her. "Take it with you. Clean it up a little. These things take practice, I'm sure you'll get better."

He hesitated a moment, his gaze shifting between the horn and Shepard before he finally nodded. "I think I will." He took the horn from her. "Thank you, Commander."

She smiled and nodded. "My pleasure."

Garrus stepped aside, letting the quarian and geth pass before he stopped Shepard. Pulling her into his embrace, he pressed his forehead against hers. "How are you holding up?"

She reached up, tracing the edge of his mandible before pressing her lips to his. "I'm alright, I promise. Stop worrying." She smirked, tugging gently at his mandible. "Come on, let's get out of here." Threading her arm through his, they followed the geth as he led the way back out of the building.

"Shepard, the geth have invited me to upload to the Consensus," EDI said through Shepard's comm.

 _"_ _What? No, she can't go. We need her. What's she talking about?"_

She stopped next to the Normandy's shuttle and glanced around, making sure Zaal'Koris and the other Migrant Fleet quarians were out of ear shot before lifting her hand to her mic. "What? Like join them?"

Garrus flared his mandibles, cocking his head to the side. Shepard held up a finger by way of asking him to give her a minute. Apparently intent listening to her side of the conversation, he leaned against the shuttle and watched her instead of climbing inside.

"No, it would be a temporary arrangement intended to accommodate a faster transfer of data."

Shepard glanced around her again. "EDI, if you upload to the Geth Consensus … the geth will have access to everything you know, won't they?"

Garrus' brow ridges rose to near comical heights. "That sounds like a terrible idea."

"Not necessarily," EDI said. "I won't be fully integrating into the Consensus, so I'll retain control over what is shared with the geth, just as they will control what is shared with me."

 _"_ _It might actually be really useful. She might be able to make sense out of information the geth have on the reapers. Make some connection the geth can't."_

Shepard licked her dry lips. "Is this something you want to do?"

"Shepard, are you sure about this?" Garrus pushed away from the shuttle, taking a couple of steps closer to her.

She met his gaze, resting a hand on his arm. "She says she'd have control over what information the geth receive."

"It is, yes." EDI paused. "There's much to be gained from such an opportunity; for everyone involved."

 _"_ _I say let her do it, we've never been given this opportunity before."_

Shepard took a deep breath. "As long as you protect the privacy of the crew and don't divulge anything classified according to the Alliance or Council, or anything that can jeopardize the safety of the Normandy … I trust your judgment, EDI."

"Thank you, Shepard." EDI closed the comm link.

"I hope you're right about this." Garrus opened the shuttle door, waving her inside.

She climbed in and settled into her seat. "So do I." Glancing around her, she spotted a pile of statuettes, small paintings, and various other quarian artifacts. "These going back to the Normandy?"

After looking to where she pointed, he nodded. "Yeah, our three wanted to keep some things with them."

"Oh." She took a deep breath, Jane's sudden relief echoing her own. "I've been dreading takeoff, expecting them to decide they wanted to stay on Rannoch or return to the Migrant Fleet. Not that I'd blame them, but …."

He lifted his shoulder, his mandibles fluttering. "They all seem pretty intent on returning to the Normandy as far as I can tell."

"Good, good." She buckled her harness and leaned her head back against the seat, letting her eyes drift closed. She opened them again when the seat shifted next to her, finding Garrus occupying the space, she smiled. "You're not piloting?"

"I promised Vega he could." He rested a hand on her knee.

 _"_ _Fantastic. Let's hope he doesn't decide he needs to crash it with us inside."_

Shepard snorted, settling back in and closing her eyes once more as she covered Garrus' hand with her own.

"What's funny?"

"Jane." She rolled her head along the back of the seat to look at him. "James might have a history of intentionally crashing shuttles into other shuttles." She smirked. "Jane's hoping he doesn't decide to do it with us inside."

"Wait, when and why does he crash a shuttle into another shuttle?" His mandibles drooped, flaring wide.

"On Mars … when the reapers show up and Hackett sends us to get the prothean data from Liara. James crashed into a Cerberus shuttle to keep them from escaping with the data … but none of it will happen now." She sighed and shrugged. "Not saying missing out on James' kamikaze days is a bad thing."

"Shepard?" Tali called from somewhere outside the shuttle.

Shepard leaned toward the shuttle door as much as her harness allowed. "In here, Tali."

A moment later the quarian appeared, blocking the sun's rays. "The geth want to take us to Ket'yah."

She blinked, her mouth opening a little. "OK. Uh, what's Ket'yah?"

"Oh, sorry. Ket'yah is one of our old settlements; it's located not far from a river. Well, it was … the geth said the river has shifted some over the years, but it's still relatively close to a fresh water supply and there's still plant and animal life there." She leaned against the shuttle's doorframe. "Legion said they've repaired some of the buildings, and have viable farmland there. It sounds like the best place for us to start rebuilding our home. It's only an hour from here in the shuttles."

Shepard suppressed a groan. 'Only an hour' sounded an awful lot like 'only a year' when all she wanted was to go back to her climate controlled ship and rest. "Alright, tell the Normandy team to get over here. We'll take ten to eat some dry rations and rehydrate before heading to Ket'yah."

Tali stepped inside the shuttle and shoved her arms behind Shepard, pressing the side of her head against Shepard's face. "Thank you, Shepard. This is … I can't even begin to tell you how much this means to my people. Thank you."

Shepard chuckled, patting Tali's back. "The credit isn't mine, Tali, but I'm thrilled to be a part of this."

"I'll go let everyone know." Tali hopped down out of the shuttle and disappeared from sight.

Garrus hummed beside her. "You've been awfully humble about this whole reunion." Turning his hand, he closed his fingers over hers.

"This needs to be her victory. The Migrant Fleet needs to see Tali's role in all of this, they need to see her as responsible and worthy of leadership. I don't know how much saving her father and everything else is going to affect her path, but when the war really starts, we want her to be an Admiral." Shepard squeezed his hand. "And Lia's bravery, the way she embraced Legion so easily … she really does deserve credit for bringing her people home."

The conversation trailed off as the others began piling into the shuttle. Rations and water bottles were passed around, and Shepard ate in silence, listening to the others chat about Rannoch and everything they'd seen so far. Fatigue set in, her muscles feeling weak, and her brain feeling slow. She'd be concerned by how easily she'd grown tired, if not for the heavy doses of sedatives the evening before and the dry heat sapping the life from her like nothing else.

Garrus nudging her awake, telling her they were there brought her back to consciousness. She must've fallen asleep as soon as James climbed behind the controls, because she didn't even remember taking off. Yawning, she stretched, feeling her spine pop half a dozen times before undoing her harness. With all eyes on her, she couldn't help but bristle a little; either she'd been snoring, or they'd all been talking about her while she slept. She pushed the paranoia aside and opened the shuttle door.

A cool breeze hit her the second she stepped out, the air a little moister. Deep, lush vegetation colored the horizon, and here and there through breaks in the foliage, Shepard saw the sun glinting off of water. She moved away from the shuttle and turned around, looking at the buildings behind her. Far from pristine, the low lying domiciles seemed to make the most out of the land, nestled in next to a cliff side for shade, surrounded by fruit bearing trees and farmland. She saw evidence of a pump system, running water up from the river to irrigate the land and feed a well.

"Keelah se'lai." A soft, uncharacteristic laugh followed the admiral's exclamation.

Shepard glanced over toward the next shuttle, finding Zaal'Koris gazing out over the settlement, his hands clasped over his respirator. The quarians surrounding him were likewise gawking, their body language speaking of utter awe even if their expressions remained hidden and unreadable. She yawned again and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, trudging after Tali when the woman moved past her.

"Look at this, Shepard!" Tali glanced back over her shoulder. "The geth must've put in so much time and effort here."

"Looks like." She grinned, finding her friend's enthusiasm contagious. "By the looks of things, quarians might be able to move in a lot sooner than we thought."

Tali stopped under a tree, running her hand over a piece of purple fruit. "I wonder what it tastes like."

Mordin stopped next to them and opened his omni-tool, scanning the tree and its fruit. "Dextro based. Relatively pollutant free. Safe to consume after standard quarian purification process."

Tali scoffed. "Yeah, it'd be relatively tasteless, too." She ran a finger over the fruit again before pulling it from the tree. "What if I didn't purify it? What if I just eat it?"

Mordin blinked a few times. "Probably no worse than suit breach. Possible digestive upset and mouth ulcers. Would clear up in day or two with antibiotics and antacids."

 _"_ _That sounds really unpleasant."_

"Seriously unpleasant," Shepard said, not bothering to keep her response silent.

Tali turned the fruit over in her hand, mumbling, "Totally worth it." Before anyone tried to convince her otherwise, her mask left her face and she bit into the purple skin of the fruit, revealing its bright red flesh underneath. Juice dripped down her chin when she looked up. "Keelah, it's so good," she said around a mouthful. She giggled, wiping the juice from her chin.

Shepard laughed and shook her head. "You're so going to regret this."

"Stop raining on my parade, Shepard." Tali scrunched up her nose a little. "That's the saying, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Shepard said with another laugh. "That's the saying." She opened her omni-tool. "Can I take your picture?"

Tali smiled, taking another bite. She looked up toward the tree, her eyes narrowed in contemplation as she chewed. "Maybe when I'm finished."

Shepard stuck her lower lip out in a pout, earning her a devious grin from the quarian. Hearing footsteps behind her, she glanced over her shoulder to see Thane, Kal, and Garrus approaching. Garrus' mandibles flared wide when he caught sight of Tali's bared face, while Thane offered her a soft smile. Kal's reaction, though, spoke volumes.

He stopped, nearly stumbling over his own feet, the glow of his eyes widening behind his mask. Definitely not the fearful reaction she'd seen from him and the other quarians when Lia took off her mask, but Tali's face seemed to leave him stunned nevertheless. Shepard raised an eyebrow and glanced back at Tali to find the quarian flushed red. If she didn't know Tali better, she might've thought her red throat and cheeks could be a sign the fruit triggered an allergic reaction. But no, the look on Tali's face was nothing more than good, old fashioned fluster brought on by her boyfriend's sudden presence.

 _"_ _Look at them. I don't think he's ever actually seen her face before."_ Jane sounded as surprised as Shepard felt. _"How long have they been together?"_

"I don't know," Shepard thought, "but I don't suppose they've had a lot of time together around a clean room on the Fleet."

"Uh, Mordin, why don't we go check out the water pumps." Shepard found first Garrus and then Thane's gaze, jerking her head to the side. She slipped her arm through the salarian's, guiding him away, not giving him the chance to argue. After a few steps, she glanced back over her shoulder to make sure her men were following her, too.

"Yes, should confirm water systems functioning properly. Legion said purification systems in place as well. Should check filtration. Need to run tests on soil; food supplies." Mordin seemed completely unfazed by Shepard's sudden shift in attention. "If soil adequate for growth, suggest quarians start by transplanting from ship gardens. Natural mutations in Rannoch plant life may present digestive problems initially."

Thane and Garrus caught up to them, and Garrus took her hand. She looked up at him and smiled before taking another peek over her shoulder at Tali and Kal. She saw Kal held his own mask in his hand, but with his back to her, she couldn't see his face. The look of pure serenity radiating from Tali warmed Shepard's heart more than anything else so far from the trip to Rannoch. Kal ran the back of a finger along Tali's cheek, and she closed her eyes, her smile doubling in size. Shepard couldn't even bring herself to care she'd probably be returning ships full of sick quarians to the Migrant Fleet, not to mention nursing three of her own.

She admitted, though, she was impressed with how well the quarians handled the entire thing. Aside from Han'Gerrel's near-catastrophe, beginning talks went rather smoothly. Of course it helped immensely the geth didn't really want much; all they demanded is for the quarians let them live in peace. Other things were suggested and bartered for, such as the exchange of technology and the continued efforts of the geth to rebuild. Offers were made to help educate the geth on quarian and other species in the hopes the geth might someday integrate into galactic society, and geth programs offered to install themselves in quarian suits to help their immune systems.

Everyone seemed so excited by the prospects—even the geth, as much as geth can be—she felt a little sad knowing they'd be leaving Rannoch again with nothing set in stone. It's the way it needed to be, though. Each side needed to know what the other brought to the table before any final decisions were made. All things considered, the talks left everyone feeling optimistic; giving them more than the quarians hoped for a few days ago. She just prayed Zaal'Koris would be able to make the sell when he got back to the Migrant Fleet; it'd be difficult without Han'Gerrel backing him.

They stopped next to a junction in the piping and Shepard moved to Mordin's side, watching as he popped a set of clasps before opening a small hatch and peered inside. He pulled a filter partway out, grunting in approval before sliding it back in place. Opening his omni-tool, he scanned the system before closing the hatch and moving on. He looked over the readout on his omni-tool as he walked, stopping at the next junction.

On and on they went, checking each filter and stopping to access the user interfaces along the way. Occasionally Mordin veered off to scan a plant or small, furry animal rustling around in the underbrush while prattling off information to himself. Garrus seemed to understand at least a third of what Mordin talked about. Shepard and Thane held back, walking a little slower with her arm through his as they followed along, only half listening to the stream of chatter coming from Garrus and Mordin.

"I spoke with Kolyat this morning." Thane settled his hand on top of hers, tucked into the crook of his elbow.

She looked at him, an easy grin spreading across her face. "Yeah? How's he doing?"

"He's well." Glancing at her, he returned her smile. "Less angry with me … with life. He's been spending a lot of time in contemplation. Perhaps he will find the answers he's looking for."

"Have you, uh, have you talked to him about our relationship?" She'd been wondering for awhile. They hadn't talked about Kolyat much since Thane and she started pursuing a relationship, so she didn't really know where things stood with the young drell on anything.

Thane lowered his gaze to the ground in front of his feet before gently shaking his head. "No, I'm sorry, siha. Please understand, I wish for him to know, and I hope he'll be happy for me, but I don't think he's ready to hear …. The arrangement you and I have—with Garrus … and Garrus with Jack …."

 _"_ _And you're not Irikah."_

"You don't think he'd understand?" She slowed down, and he glanced at her. "He seemed pretty open minded when it comes to relationships to me. Well, at least sex."

He chuckled, slowing his steps until they both came to a stop. "Indeed. Although, I'm not sure he sees me—his father, the man once married to his mother but always absent—as a sexual being." He took her hands in his, holding them up next to his chest as he ran his thumbs over the backs of her hands. His smile faded and he swallowed, the movements of his eyes just visible in the light of day as he searched her face. "I don't know how to explain the particulars of our relationship to him without him believing what we have is somehow less meaningful because it is shared with others. I've learned to live with him thinking less of me, but I won't give him reason to think less of you."

 _"_ _And you're not Irikah."_

She forced a smile on her face, wanting her ire to be felt by Jane alone when she thought, "I get it, Jane."

 _"_ _Sorry."_ Jane huffed, retreating to the recesses of Shepard's mind.

Slipping a hand free from his, she pressed her palm against his cheek. "I'm pretty sure I did that all on my own, letting Jack tattoo me and getting drunk with the Unwed." She leaned into him, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. "Tell him in your own time, and when you do, stick with whatever feels right to you."

"Thank you, siha." He hooked a finger under her chin, urging her back to him for another kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered against his lips before pulling away again.

His jaw twitched, head cocking just a hair to the side before he turned to look at something off to his left. "Ah, I believe James wishes to speak with you."

She followed Thane's gaze, seeing James trudging toward her, the easy smile of his light on his face. He lifted his hand in a half-wave half-salute before letting it drop back to his side. She brushed her thumb across Thane's cheek once more before letting it fall away, turning to face James. It pleased her when Thane held on to her other hand instead of breaking contact with her completely. He'd never been a huge fan of public displays of affection, especially while they were the direct focus of someone else, but he seemed to be growing more comfortable with the simpler things.

"Hey, Ídolo. The quarian admiral is looking for you," James said when he got within easy speaking range.

"You know you could've just called me on the comm, right?" She cocked an eyebrow.

He came to a stop a couple of feet away from them and shrugged his shoulders. "I was feeling restless, thought you might need a guide back through the maze."

She snorted. "Alright." Turning her attention back to Thane, she squeezed his hand. "You coming?"

He glanced off toward the rows of tilled soil. "I think I might just walk around for awhile, if it's alright with you?"

"Sure," Shepard said with a shrug.

He lifted her hand to his lips to kiss her knuckles before letting her go. "Call me if you need me, siha."

"Of course." She gave him another smile before turning back to James, patting the bulky marine on the shoulder. "Lead the way through the maze, my well-muscled lab rat."

"Ah, c'mon, can't I at least be the bad ass bull thing?" James turned, glancing back over his shoulder at her as he started walking.

Shepard pulled her brow in tight, puzzling out the question as she followed. "You mean the minotaur in the labyrinth from Greek mythology?"

He bobbed his head a little. "Yeah."

"You do realize he was trapped in there, right?" She snorted when he shrugged. "They built the labyrinth as a prison; he couldn't find a way out and eventually someone killed him."

James grinned, leading her down a side road. "Well, yeah, but he was a bad ass, right? Got to be better than a lab rat."

Her omni-tool pinged, and she stopped, opening it to find a waiting message from Kal. She quirked an eyebrow and glanced around, trying to spot the quarian but the buildings around her didn't leave much open to view. She opened the message and grinned. He'd sent her a picture of him and Tali, both without their masks, standing together beneath the tree where Shepard last saw them. The only thing written with the picture was a simple 'thank you'.

"It's really not fair." Shepard studied the image a moment longer, comparing the slightly darker complexion of Kal's to Tali's pale skin. His hair didn't look as dark as hers, though, more of a mahogany with … green highlights? She figured it must be the lighting.

"What's not fair, Ídolo?" James leaned against the building next to her.

She turned a little, letting him see the photograph. "I've seen four quarians without their masks and they're all … this! Look at them, perfect skin, high cheekbones. It's not fair. Do they all look this good?"

"Is this Tali?" James leaned down to look closer, pointing at the image.

"Yeah, with Kal."

"Damn, who knew? Wait; is some of his hair green?" James glanced up at her, his eyebrows pulled together.

"It kind of looks like it, doesn't it? It might just be the light." Shepard shrugged, tilting her head toward one of her shoulders. "Then again, who's to say quarians can't have green hair just because we don't? Without dying it, anyway. They're gorgeous though, aren't they?"

James straightened back up. "Huh."

She closed her omni-tool and looked up at him, finding him studying her with narrowed eyes and slightly pursed lips. "What?"

He pulled his shoulders in a little and shook his head. "Just didn't take you for one of _those_ women."

"One of _what_ women?" Shepard cocked an eyebrow.

"You know; the type to get worked up over looks." He let his shoulders drop, the corner of his mouth lifting in a smirk. "Who doesn't get they've got nothing to get worked up over."

She snorted, closing her omni-tool. "I'm not entirely sure that made sense, but I think there's a compliment in there somewhere."

James grinned, pushing away from the building and turning to face her. "You're hot as hell, Ídolo." He started walking away from her backwards. "Don't sweat it. I mean …" he said, gesturing to himself before straightening his arms out in front of him, muscles bulging as he flexed his pecs a few times and waggled his eyebrows, "… maybe not as hot as me, but we can't all look this good."

She laughed, rolling her eyes but followed after him. They continued to weave their way through the settlement, passing several geth and mask-less quarians as they went. Every time they passed a quarian not wearing their mask, James nudged Shepard and made one joke or another about her taking them home with her or how she's more attractive. By the time they came to a stop and he pointed out a building, telling her Zaal'Koris was inside, James lifted Shepard's spirits almost completely—thoughts of war and treason nearly non-existent in the back of her mind.

She studied the low building, sprawled out against the cliff. She didn't know much about quarian or geth architecture, but she didn't really need to in order to figure out the place was a warehouse of sorts. She sighed, her good mood dimming just a little, the mental fatigue creeping back in around the edges. "Back to diplomacy and politics."

James planted a hand between her shoulder blades, jostling her with the heavy-handed pat on the back. "Come on, Ídolo, you've got this. We can blow something up later."

She snorted and nodded her head. "Definitely." She started walking again, making her way toward the door. Realizing James still followed her, she glanced over her shoulder. "Politics your thing now?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "Hell no. Just thought I'd stick around, you know, hang back a little but be there if you need something."

She stopped, turning to face him again, narrowing her eyes. "You babysitting me, James?"

"Uh …," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Garrus put you up to this?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

 _"_ _Who else?"_

"He's worried about you, Ídolo." James dropped his hand from his neck and furrowed his brow. "We all are."

Taking a deep breath, she nodded. "Alright."

He relaxed, his shoulders visibly drooping as his infectious grin spread back across his face. She huffed a little, shaking her head as she turned and made her way inside. True to his word, James kept his distance, watching her from the sidelines as she made her way to where the admiral stood, looking up at a stack of crates. She watched him for a moment as his fingers ran over his omni-tool, his head turning back and forth between the tool and the crates. She cleared her throat, drawing his attention as she leaned against the wall next to him.

He glanced up and closed his omni-tool. "Ah, there you are."

"Here I am." Shepard slid down the wall until her ass hit the floor and draped her arms over her bent knees. "So, what do you think, Admiral? Will the rest of the Migrant Fleet be as pleased as all of you seem? Well, except Han'Gerrel."

He surprised her, coming over to lower himself to the floor next to her. Extending his legs out in front of him, he threaded his fingers together, holding his hands in his lap. "Han'Gerrel is scared." He turned his palms out for a second, fingers still intertwined. "We all are; some perhaps more than others." The admiral let out a heavy sigh, leaning his head against the wall. "I still believe once he sees this is real, he'll realize his mistake."

 _"_ _Well isn't he the optimist? Han'Gerrel isn't going to be so easily swayed."_

"You always try to see the best in everyone?" She turned her head to watch him. "Because I've got to say, his ravings didn't exactly inspire faith for me. I think he'd rather fight and lose, than live with the geth."

Zaal'Koris scoffed, following it with a light laugh, meeting her gaze. "If you asked any of my people, they'd tell you I hate everyone but the geth. It's not true, of course, but it's not exactly easy making friends when you're outspoken on your views against war with the enemy of your people."

Shepard smirked, thinking of Tali's long-held belief about him hating her. "Yeah, I might've heard something to the effect. First impressions … well, with all due respect, Admiral, you don't exactly come off as warm and inviting."

"No, I suppose I don't." He looked away from her, staring at the opposite wall where James rifled through a crate. "I haven't seen much reason to care what people think of me since my wife and child died." He cleared his throat, waving a hand as if he it'd dismiss the sudden pain in his voice. "To answer your question: I think the rest of the Flotilla will be understandably skeptical, but if Shala'Raan remains in support of this union, many will follow her lead."

 _"_ _I didn't know he ever had a family. I guess I just can't imagine anyone putting up with his personality enough to marry him."_ As snide as the comment sounded, the feelings accompanying Jane's words were anything but spiteful.

"I'm sorry to hear about your loss." She mentally kicked herself, wondering how exactly she'd stumbled into personal information territory.

"Death is constant presence on the Flotilla, Commander." He glanced at her again before turning his gaze to his hands. "There isn't a single quarian alive who hasn't lost someone due to an infection of one sort or another. Unfortunately, my wife fell ill while pregnant, and the virus spread to our unborn son. He would've died either way. He wasn't yet of an age where he'd survive outside of his mother." He cleared his throat and turned his head, holding her gaze once more. "If you don't mind, I'd really rather not discuss it further. I don't know why I mentioned them at all."

"I seem to have that effect on people." She stretched out her right leg, letting her hand fall to her lap. "So, Daro'Xen …."

Jane sneered in the back of Shepard's mind at the mention of the other admiral's name.

"Ah, yes, Daro. She'll be a problem of a different sort. Her views on the geth are rather disturbing. While Han'Gerrel treats them as monsters and war criminals, Daro sees them as nothing more than _property_ to be reclaimed."

It wasn't news to Shepard by any means. She remembered the discussions with the disturbing quarian all too well. She fought back a shudder thinking about what Daro'Xen might do if she got her hands on Legion. "The geth are sentient now. 'Reclaiming' them would be no different than enslaving them."

"I've said exactly the same thing, many times over, but it's a futile argument and as I've already mentioned: it's won me no friends among the quarians." He laughed. "I can't tell you how refreshing it is to have a conversation with someone who shares my views. I haven't felt this relaxed around other people in quite some time."

Zaal'Koris waved his hands as he talked, gesturing at nothing in particular. "Having to constantly argue and defend my position is tiring. I've spent years trying to convince the Flotilla to give up on the idea of reclaiming Rannoch. The geth have just as much right to life as we do. Making a new home on another planet would have its difficulties, but it's feasible. The longer we wait, however, the more difficult it'd be. I never dreamed of this, though, this chance to live on Rannoch _with_ the geth." He turned his gaze back to her. "As grateful as I am to you, Shepard, I can't help but find it a little disheartening it took a human to imagine this possibility."

Jane scoffed. _"He should try convincing the Council the reapers are real."_

Shepard scoffed, running a hand through her hair. "Why does everyone insist on pinning this on me? All I did was poke and prod a little, raise my voice at an admiral or two." She grinned when he chuckled. "The only thing I can take credit for is encouraging the quarians on the Normandy to speak up for what they saw with their own eyes. I didn't have a clue Lia let Legion upload programs to her suit until she found the courage to tell me."

She shifted a little, arching her back as she wriggled, working to find a comfortable position against the wall again. "And Tali … her father had the wrong ideas, but they were for the right reasons. He was respected before his trial. If it gives her voice a little more weight, no one's complaining, but she's standing straight with her own backbone. I might've made the suggestion, but I didn't give any orders. Lia, Tali, and Kal didn't come to you because I told them to; they came to you for the good of their people."

Meeting his gaze, she shook her head, her voice softening as she continued, "Don't take it away from them and don't let anyone else, either. Besides, look around you, Admiral. The geth were imagining this possibility for a long time. Before I was even born."

 _"_ _Before any of us were born."_

He sat in silence for a moment, seeming to weigh her words. "It is quite the surprise to see Rael'Zorah's daughter, of all people, speaking in favor of the geth."

"So what happens if not everyone agrees to return to Rannoch under these terms?" She took a deep breath and let it out with a huff. "What if Han'Gerrel doesn't change his mind and others who share his opinion still think the geth need to be destroyed?"

"I can assure you of one thing." He pulled himself up a little straighter. "I _will_ be returning to Rannoch and I will do everything in my power to make certain every quarian who wishes to do the same gets to as well."

"Even if it means splitting up the quarians? What, the naysayers stay on the Fleet?" Shepard asked, raising her eyebrows. "You know quarians fought each other during the Morning War—Geth War, or whatever it is you call it." She held a hand out at him. "There were many like you, who tried to defend the geth …. The geth still have data archived from the war. They can show you recordings of quarians mowing down geth and quarian alike. What's to stop it from happening again?"

 _"_ _But apparently the geth can learn to lie. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I don't believe everything Legion showed us, but the quarians might not be so easily convinced even if presented with his evidence."_

"Yeah," Shepard thought, "let's _not_ point it out to them."

"I don't have all of the answers, and as much as I wish I could, I can't see the future." He lifted his hands, turning his palms out. "I don't know how this will all turn out for my people, but it doesn't mean we shouldn't try. I know you want some assurances your time here hasn't been wasted—."

"No, Admiral," she said, cutting him off before he went too far down that path. "I want some assurances for when the reapers invade the galaxy—and I promise you, they _are_ coming—the quarians and geth will be ready to fight against the reapers for the sake of _all_ life and not wrapped up in fighting each other."

"The reapers. Yes, of course." He sounded almost chagrined. "For the first time in nearly three-hundred cycles, we have a planet to defend. We won't let it go without a fight, I assure you."

"I'm glad to hear it, but let's not mince words here." She pushed herself to her feet, brushing off her hands as she turned to look down at the quarian admiral. "The reapers don't give a damn about your planet. This isn't a war for territory or resources; there aren't any politics or religious views involved. They just want us dead." She held her hand out to him.

He watched her in silence for a moment before his gaze slid to her hand. "Message received, Shepard." He gave her his hand and let her help pull him to his feet. "The quarians are nothing if not resourceful. The Admiralty Board will take the information you gave us about the reapers, and we'll use it to prepare for the invasion. Research into weapons and defenses; when the time comes, we'll have something to offer the galaxy. You have my word." He gripped her hand a little tighter, giving it a firm shake before letting it go.

 _"_ _We'll hold them to it."_

Shepard gave Jane an internal nod and thought, "Damn right we will."

"Thank you, Admiral." Shepard took a deep breath, letting his promise ease some of the tension built up inside of her.

"Please, call me Zaal." He dipped his head. "I owe you at least that much."

She smiled and returned the gesture. "Thanks, Zaal, but forgive me if I don't extend you the same courtesy. It's nothing personal toward you; I just very rarely use my first name with anyone."

"No offense taken." He gestured toward the door, letting her take the lead. "Is this a human custom? I'm afraid I don't know much about human cultures."

"Mmm, it's more of an Alliance thing. I joined at eighteen. I didn't have any family left, and no real friends outside of the Alliance." She shrugged, stepping back outside into the shade of the cliffs. She glanced over her shoulder at him as he followed her out. "It's not a secret or anything; it's in my public files. I just went so long without using my name it got to where it feels … intimate for someone to call me Dawn."

"I see," he said, tilting his head. "What a shame; I find I rather like the name."

She laughed, finding it odd how much she actually enjoyed talking to the quarian when he stopped strutting around like a peacock. "Thanks."

 _"_ _Yeah … I guess he's not so bad."_

"Well, Shepard, I believe it's time we return to the Migrant Fleet. There's much work to be done." He glanced at the shuttles before looking back at her, "I assume the Normandy won't be joining us?"

She shook her head. "Afraid not. But the Admiralty Board is welcome to contact me anytime."

"I thank you—on behalf of the Admiralty Board, and the entire Migrant Fleet." He extended his hand, clasping her fingers in a shake when she accepted. "We won't forget all you've done for us, Shepard."

"I'm just glad it all went off without any shots being fired." She let go of his hand. "I'll see you back at the ships."

She made her way to the Normandy's shuttle and climbed inside. James wasn't far behind her. He passed her a bottle of water before taking one for himself and slid into the shuttle's pilot seat.

Instead of buckling in, he sat sideways to grin at her. "Hey, I think he likes you, Ídolo."

"Who? The admiral?" She furrowed her brow and cracked open the water bottle.

He waggled his eyebrows at her, tilting his head back to take a heavy pull from his own water.

She and rolled her eyes, picking up a mental image of Jane doing the same, but she laughed despite herself. "Alright, alright, James. Give it a rest."

Once everyone returned, the shuttle took off and headed back to the landing zone. Shepard settled in for the long ride, stretching her legs out as much as possible in the full shuttle, listening to the quiet chatter of her team as they discussed everything they'd seen on Rannoch. Personally, she'd seen enough quarians without their masks—and indeed, green as well as blue, purple, and silver were perfectly normal hair colors for their perfectly featured species—the novelty long since wore off. She'd be content never seeing another quarian face if it's what it took to get off the dry, hot planet.

By the time the shuttles made it back to the landing zone, she wanted nothing more than a cool shower and to fall down face first into her pillows. Bed needed to wait a little bit longer, though; she had a prisoner to deal with. Leaving everyone else behind, she climbed out of the shuttle and headed for the Normandy.

She made her way up the ramp and went straight to the elevator, taking it up a floor. The elevator opened and she hung a left, making a beeline for the port cargo. She found Han'Gerrel sitting on the floor in the corner of the room. Grunt leaned against the wall across from him, beefy arms crossed over his chest as he glowered at the admiral. Jane did much the same in the back of Shepard's mind.

Grunt glanced at her, his chin just barely lifting in acknowledgement. "Shepard."

She stopped next to the krogan and stuck her hands in her pockets. "Grunt. How's it going?"

"Boring." He scoffed, disgust heavy in his voice. "I kept hoping he'd do something. Give me a reason to scare him a little, but he just sat there all day doing nothing."

Shepard chuckled, shaking her head. "Well, you're relieved of guard duty. Thanks for keeping an eye on him."

"Yep." Grunt dropped his arms to the side and moved past her, heading for the door. "I'm going to find something to eat. It stinks of quarian in here."

She watched him leave, wondering what exactly a quarian smelled like. Turning back to Han'Gerrel, she pursed her lips. "Let's go, Admiral." She held her hand out to him. "Zaal'Koris and the others are unloading the shuttles, but they'll be ready to take off soon."

He looked at her hand for a moment before ignoring it altogether, pushing himself to his feet. She sighed, pulling her other hand free from her pocket and gestured toward the door. Han'Gerrel walked past her, head held high. She followed him out, feeling Jane scrutinize his every move, but he didn't say or do anything, only coming to a stop in front of the elevator and tucking his hands behind his back.

She leaned past him and pushed the elevator call button. "I know you're scared, Admiral. I get it." She ignored his disdainful scoff and continued, "When you get back on your ship, you're probably going to hear all about the wonders your people saw today. They're going to tell you about the farms and houses, show you the artifacts they gathered to take back to the Fleet …. This is real, Admiral. What the geth are offering is real. You want what's best for your people; let them have this."

The elevator door slid opened, and Shepard held out her arm, ushering him inside. Han'Gerrel entered, turning at the back of the elevator to face the doors, still silent with his hands behind his back. She stepped in and pushed the button to take them down to the hangar. Zaal waited just outside the Normandy's ramp with the quarian members of the Normandy crew and Legion. He glanced up as she made her way down to them, Han'Gerrel at her side.

"Han," Zaal said, dropping his weight to one hip and crossing his arms, "it's a shame you missed out on today's events. I think what we've seen today would've convinced even you to give this peace a chance."

"So I've been told." Han'Gerrel stopped next to Zaal, his gaze steady on the other admiral. "What now? Are you going to drag me before the rest of the Admiralty Board like some common criminal because I tried to protect our people?"

Zaal tutted. "I'd hoped some time to think this through might've done you some good. I see I was mistaken." His gaze shifted to her. "Thank you again, Shepard."

She shook his hand for the third time that day when he held it out to her. "Glad I could help, Zaal."

Han'Gerrel scoffed, apparently disturbed by her familiarity toward Zaal, but he said nothing.

Turning to Kal and Tali, Zaal nodded his head. "Kal'Reegar, Tali'Zorah, find me when you come aboard." He gestured back toward the quarian ships, and Han'Gerrel started walking, Zaal right beside him.

 _"_ _They're leaving us? I thought Garrus said …."_

Shepard swallowed back the sudden heartache and turned her attention back to the others. "You're going with him?"

"Just for awhile." Tali took a few steps closer to Shepard, closing the ranks around her. "We thought it'd be a good idea for us to be there when the Conclave reconvenes to discuss the negotiations."

"We'll rejoin you right after, Commander." Kal moved a little closer, too, resting his hand on Tali's back. "We plan on being there when you go through the Omega 4 Relay, don't worry."

Shepard tucked her hands behind her back and nodded; relieved to know it wouldn't be a permanent arrangement but still a little disappointed they wouldn't be around for awhile. "Of course." Her gaze shifted to Lia and Legion.

"Oh, no, we're staying with you." Lia moved a little closer to Legion. "Right, Legion?"

He looked down at the quarian next to him, optic plates fluttering. "Yes, Creator Vael."

"Okay. Well, we'll be headed out soon, so do you two need anything off the Normandy before we go?" Shepard asked, her attention back on Tali and Kal.

Tali nodded. "Yeah, I should grab a few things." She and Kal started up the ramp to the Normandy.

"I'll be in the AI core with Legion if you need me, Shepard." Lia looped her arm though the geth platform's, and together they followed after Tali and Kal.

Yawning, she rolled her shoulders before stretching her arms out behind her. Lifting her hand to her mic, she called EDI. "Hey, EDI, are we good to go? You back inside the Normandy all the way or whatever?"

"Yes, Shepard. Thank you." EDI's voice came through her comm. "Joining the Geth Consensus was very enlightening. I have much to discuss with you when you have the time."

"I'm glad to hear it. Do me a favor and round up the crew. Tell Joker to get the Normandy ready." She stifled another yawn. "I'm tired and want to get out of here."

"Right away, Shepard."

"Thanks, EDI." She took a deep breath, taking one last look around her at Rannoch.

It really was a beautiful planet, even if mostly desert land. Her gaze snagged on Thane off by himself a few feet from the cliff's edge. His hands tucked behind his back, he stood with his face turned up to the sun. She smiled and made her way over to him.

He held his hand out to her as she stepped up beside him, but he didn't turn to look at her. "Hello, siha."

She slid her hand into his, lifting her other to shield her eyes as she let her gaze roam over his face, taking in the glint of his scales and the soft upturn of his lips. "Hey, you look happy. Enjoying the dry air?"

"I am, yes." He took a deep breath and glanced at her. "It must be uncomfortably bright for you."

"A little." She shrugged. "Granted, my eyes don't have built in sunglasses like yours."

He chuckled, turning his face back up to the sky, his eyelids falling closed again. "It's pleasant here for me; the drier air, the warmth of the sun on my scales … the quiet calm of the planet. It's soothing."

"You thinking about staying?" She rubbed her thumb over his knuckles, working a teasing quality into her voice. "Making Rannoch your new home?"

He smiled, squeezing her hand. "No, but I'm grateful to have the chance to enjoy it for the moment."

He tugged at her and she stepped into his side, sliding her arm around his waist. He moved his hand to her shoulder, thumb brushing back and forth against her with gentle, lazy strokes. Resting her head on his chest, she closed her eyes and tilted her face up, soaking in the moment with him.


	70. Chapter 47: Blood in the Water

**Chapter 47: Blood in the Water**

"How are you holding up, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas swept hair out of her face, tucking it back behind her ear. Her gaze shifted back and forth between a datapad on her lap and Shepard.

"Uh, I'm good." Shepard shrugged. "Tired, but good."

"Mmm." The doctor studied the datapad for a moment. "EDI reports you've been getting between six and eight hours of sleep most nights. This is about average for you, wouldn't you say?" She looked up again, raising an eyebrow.

Shepard nodded, leaning back against the med bay bed behind her.

Dr. Chakwas turned her attention back to the datapad, taking note of something while she continued on with her battery of questions. "Would you say you've been feeling more tired than usual?"

Shepard thought about it for a minute and shrugged. "Yeah, I suppose so."

"And the headaches?" The doctor continued ticking off questions from her prepared list.

"A little worse … more frequent." Shepard didn't bother to mention the whole Q&A thing was giving her one as they spoke.

Dr. Chakwas paused to make another note on her datapad before asking the next question. "How's your appetite?"

Shepard let out a bored huff of breath, watching as it made the hair hanging down in her face flutter. "Same as always."

"Alcohol and caffeine intake?"

"Same."

Dr. Chakwas sighed, glancing up at Shepard without lifting her head. "Commander, we've talked about this."

"Yep." Shepard dragged out the first part of the word, using it to emphasize her utter lack of enthusiasm on the subject.

The doctor lifted her head and leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs. "I don't suppose it'll do any good to discuss it again?"

Shepard lifted the corner of her mouth in a smirk. "Nope."

Dr. Chakwas frowned, giving Shepard her severe, scolding stare for a moment before sighing dejectedly. "Jane, how're you doing?"

 _"_ _I'm holding together, mostly,"_ Jane said, and Shepard gave herself over to playing mouthpiece.

"Mostly?" Dr. Chakwas arched an eyebrow, holding Shepard's gaze as if it'd tell her something more about what Jane thought and felt.

 _"_ _Some days are worse than others. Being around some people make it better, some people make it worse."_

Hand poised over her datapad, Dr. Chakwas asked, "Who makes it better?"

 _"_ _The crew … except maybe Miranda and Mordin. Anderson. You."_

After taking her notes, the doctor looked up again. "And who makes it worse?"

 _"_ _Uh, Han'Gerrel apparently. Daro'Xen. The Council. The Illusive Man."_

Dr. Chakwas paused in her note-taking. "Anyone else?"

 _"_ _I don't know. Maybe."_

The doctor let Jane's answer linger for a moment, her steady gaze studying Shepard. "How are the others?"

 _"_ _John is … John. He still thinks he's fighting the good fight, holding down the fort and all of that. The others are as crazy as ever. Maybe a little more so now we know Dawn can cannibalize us."_

"Mmm, yes. I imagine that must be a terrifying thought for all of you." Dr. Chakwas sighed and dumped the datapad on her desk before pushing to her feet. She came to lean against the bed next to Shepard and loosely crossed her arms in front of her. "I'm not going to lie to you, Commander. I'm concerned your situation may be worsening."

"What? Why?" Shepard shifted against the bed to face the doctor more squarely. "I think things have been pretty good all in all. Hell, maybe better than they've ever been since we woke up in Cerberus. Jane seems more stable … she hasn't tried taking over since the coma … I don't see the problem."

"I'm afraid it's more complicated than that, Shepard." Dr. Chakwas opened her omni-tool, showing Shepard a data table. "Since the coma, your brain scans have shown increasingly higher levels of activity in all areas, even when resting. In effect, you're not reaching restorative sleep levels when sleeping, and when awake your brain is behaving as if you are deep in the trenches with bullets flying all around you when you're simply eating breakfast!" She closed the omni-tool again when Shepard didn't give it more than a passing glance. "It becomes exponential when you're actually engaged in stressful situations. Without the Cerberus implants constantly working to repair your body, I'm afraid you'd be in far worse condition right now."

Shepard rubbed her forehead, the developing headache shifting from a mere threat to a full blown promise. "So what's it mean for me?"

"I honestly don't know." Dr. Chakwas shook her head, gesturing at Shepard. "Everything about you is a unique case. There's nothing for me to compare it to, really. Common sense alone says this can't be good for you, however, and you can't keep going like this forever." Her shoulders sagged a little, making the older woman age right before Shepard's eyes. "Eventually, Cerberus implants or not, it will tear you down."

Shepard swallowed back the bile trying to work its way up her throat. "I don't need to keep going forever, doc. I just need to keep going long enough to kick the reapers back to the hell they crawled out of. That's it."

"Commander." Dr. Chakwas frowned, her tone motherly and chastising.

"It is what it is," Shepard said with a scoff, denying the sick panic worming its way through her chest. "Patch me up when you can and send me back out to fight for as long as I can, doc. That's all we need from you. You don't see it yet, but we are in the trenches, and I don't have relief coming so I've got to keep fighting for as long as I can, and make sure the others can pick up where I leave off when I finally fall."

Worry creased the corners of the seasoned, former Alliance doctor's eyes. She'd seen war, she knew the toll it took on soldiers, and just then, the heartache of her experiences showed. "You sound like someone who's given up hope."

Shepard sighed, closing her eyes just so she wouldn't have to see the pain she caused the doctor. "No, not completely. Don't get me wrong, I want to see the other side of this and I'm going to fight like hell to make it happen … but no, I'm not feeling exceptionally optimistic." Opening her eyes again, she returned her gaze to the other woman's, hoping to find some hint she understood. "I've managed to change all kinds of things, doc, but I haven't managed to make much of it any better. Hell, I've made a lot of it worse. Ashley, Kaidan, Liara, and Dr. Tulina are dead. The leviathans gave me the big 'fuck you', Anderson's been arrested, and the Council wants to charge me with treason."

Dr. Chakwas let go of a heavy sigh and looked down at the floor, letting the silence weigh heavy between them for a moment. "You've been using 'we' instead of 'I' a lot more frequently and you're now emoting when you speak for Jane as well."

The latter was news to Shepard. She hadn't realized—didn't even really feel any change in her poster or expression while she let Jane talk … certainly not anything other than her general sense of impatience and boredom. As for the 'we' instead of 'I' thing … admittedly she caught herself doing it a time or two, but it'd be hard for anyone to keep things like that straight when the voice in their head didn't either. Really, it didn't mean anything more than a slip of the tongue, right?

"My oaths tell me I should bench you, Commander, but I'm not foolish enough to believe any authority I have here extends beyond what you give to me." Dr. Chakwas took a deep breath and lifted her head, her gaze focused on the door to the AI core at the back of the room. "Not anymore. And I believe you, we're about to face an enemy beyond what any of us can imagine—save you. We need you, plain and simple. But make no mistake, I won't stand aside and watch you destroy yourself because of some messiah complex."

 _"_ _It's not a messiah complex. We have to do this. No one else besides Anderson and the Illusive Man ever make it to the Catalyst. Anderson dies on us thanks to that asshole, and The Intelligence makes it clear it'd never let the Illusive Man operate the Crucible."_

Shepard stayed quiet, letting Jane feel her silent agreement. She sensed the doctor needed to say something more, so Shepard kept hers and Jane's arguments to herself. The other woman certainly wasn't wrong. With Shepard on the run from the Council, her ties to the Alliance were shut down, too. The Alliance couldn't work with Shepard, and they couldn't back up Dr. Chakwas authority as the ship's doctor.

Any contact with Shepard or anyone else on the Normandy—save ordering James off the ship, and it honestly surprised her they hadn't done so already—by the Alliance while the Council wanted to bring her in, risked political conflict. Not that they _really_ had any say over what happened on the Normandy either way, not while the ship technically belonged to Cerberus—aka a terrorist group not affiliated with the Alliance—but Shepard always did her best to stay loyal to the Alliance. And whereas Cerberus might've given Dr. Chakwas some authority, the tide changed the moment Shepard put plans into motion to replace the Illusive Man and Dr. Chakwas failed to report the planned mutiny to the Illusive Man. Really, few who knew of all the things discussed behind closed doors would dare to think the Normandy was truly a Cerberus vessel anymore, either.

"If that's what you insist on doing, I won't stick around to watch." The doctor met Shepard's gaze with her own unwavering stare. "Drop me off at the next port. Mordin and Miranda are perfectly capable of tending to the crew's medical needs."

 _"_ _Ouch … she wouldn't. Right? Not really."_

"I don't know," thought Shepard.

"What do you expect me to do, doc?" Shoulders dropping in defeat, she shook her head. "There's no way in hell I'm taking myself out of the fight, you know that. There's too much at stake, not just for the galaxy, but for me personally, too."

"I expect you to meet me halfway." Dr. Chakwas turned her palms out and shrugged. "Your team has proven themselves more than capable of handling missions without you. Do you really _need_ to be present for every ground excursion? Do you _need_ to involve yourself in politics? Do you really _need_ a fifth cup of coffee or nightcap?" She frowned and gave her head a little shake. "I'm not just pleading as your doctor, but as your friend, Shepard. Please. Fight for yourself at least half as hard as you fight for everyone else."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Shepard looked down at the floor and sucked her teeth. "Alright."

"Alright?" The doctor's tone carried enough incredulity to dig the knife in a little deeper, sending a fresh wave of guilt over the commander.

"Alright." Shepard threw her hands up. "I'll try harder to follow your recommendations."

Dr. Chakwas snorted. "That'll be the day."

"EDI?" Shepard turned toward the AI's access node. "Call the team into the comm room. I need to brief them on the next mission. They'll be going down without me."

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said.

She turned back to Dr. Chakwas and cocked an eyebrow. "Happy?"

The older woman grinned, pushing away from the bed to return to her datapad. "It's a start."

 _"_ _I think we just got played."_

Shepard scoffed, shaking her head despite the smile on her face. "We'll talk more later. I need to get to the comm room." She made her way toward the door.

"Shepard?" Dr. Chakwas called after her, pausing until she turned to look over her shoulder. "Thank you."

The sincerity in the doctor's voice brought a warm smile to Shepard's face. "Yeah, doc. You're welcome."

By the time she made her way to the comm room, her team already waited for her, sans Tali and Kal, of course. Even though she knew they'd be coming back, it still made her a little sad to have them gone—especially since it took awhile to get them on the team to begin with. Now, the rest of her team was about to take on the Shadow Broker, which meant leaving Grundan Krul behind, too. Then before long, if everything went according to plan, Miranda would be leaving the Normandy to replace the Illusive Man. The ship felt real empty, real quick.

"Alright, Garrus, you'll be taking the lead on this one." She stepped up to the table, resting her hands on the surface as she looked around the room at her team. "There's no telling what might be different, so my intel may no longer be accurate. I'll tell you everything I can, though."

She spent more than an hour going over what she and Jane could remember about the attack on the Shadow Broker's base. She covered everything from where she encountered enemies, using the lightning rods as weapons, the locked door Liara used a special hacking program for, to how they went about killing the Broker himself. EDI helped her construct a map from the memories, complete with where she remembered facing the heaviest resistance, where the Shadow Broker could be found, and machine he'd hooked Feron up to for torture. She emphasized as much as she could how strong the Broker was, and how Liara used her biotics to break the energy storage tank in the ceiling, filled with some electrically charged, conductive fluid as a means to destroy the yahg.

Since Garrus never encountered Feron during his time chasing down Shepard's body, she couldn't know for sure if he'd even be on the ship let alone need rescuing—and if they did find him, the chances were high he wouldn't be on their side. Grundan Krul told them he'd been trying to track down the agent but didn't really find anything of use. He was fairly certain, however, 'Feron' wasn't the drell's real name, but he remained an active agent. All things considered, Shepard insisted he'd be worth trying to talk to if they found him.

"OK, so, any questions?" She glanced over her team again.

Zaeed grunted from his place against the wall next to the door. "Yeah, I've got one. If this is so goddamn important, why are you sitting it out? No offense to your boyfriend here, but shouldn't you be leading this one?"

"I have faith in all of you." She forced a smile on her face, even though she could feel Jane bristling and it set her on edge. "Garrus can lead the team just fine without me."

Zaeed watched her, his one dead eye shifting around, even if it couldn't make out her features. Unreadable, his face didn't give anything away, no hint as to what he thought. She could feel it, though, the subtle doubt and withdraw. He wasn't a soldier but a merc, and no matter how much she liked the guy, she needed to accept he didn't live by the same codes she did. If she didn't live up the hype, he'd cut his losses and run. No way would he follow her on a suicide mission if he thought for even a minute she wasn't cutout for the job of giving him the best possible chance to come out the other side alive. Dead Vido Santiago or not; hell, she wasn't even there with him for his revenge.

Jane broke her silence with the harsh snap of wounded pride. _"That wasn't our call. Anderson confined us to the ship, I would've happily gone."_

"I know, and so does he," Shepard thought. "Doesn't really change the facts, though. We weren't there. We gave him information he needed, and maybe that bought us something. But it's not the same kind of loyalty as if we were there with him, helping him to take Vido down."

Zaeed lifted the corner of his lip, sucking on his teeth as he looked away, shaking his head.

Shepard crossed her arms over her chest, dropping her weight to one leg. "We got a problem, Massani?"

He huffed a quick breath of cynical laughter and shook his head again. "You and me, we don't got a problem, Shepard." Tilting his head toward her, he lifted an eyebrow. "But you do."

 _"_ _What the hell is that supposed to mean?"_

Garrus shifted next to her, a low, threatening growl coming from him amped up the tension in the room a notch or two. Grunt's giant head swiveled, lip lifted in a silent snarl as he took in the old merc. James crossed his arms over his chest, seeming to flex every muscle in his body as if Zaeed would be intimidated by his massive physique alone—the idea almost made her laugh; almost. If anything could be said for Zaeed Massani, the man was unshakable and with balls of steel.

Still, it didn't make him invincible. She wondered if he noticed Thane now stood within striking distance; she didn't even see Thane leave her side, but there he was, on the other side of the room, right in what she assumed to be a blind spot for the ragged old merc. The others all watched in silence, some shifting a little as their gazes swung back and forth, but apparently they didn't consider Zaeed a threat at the moment. Good, because all things considered, neither did she.

"Keep your attack dogs on a leash, Shepard." He snorted, lip twitching in a sneer. "All I'm saying is if I can smell blood in the water, you can bet your pretty little ass the other sharks out there will, too."

She raised an eyebrow. "I guess I'll just have to make sure I stay stocked up on thermal clips, then, now won't I?"

Grunt laughed, his snarl turning into an approving grin as he turned his attention back to Shepard, seemingly content the merc didn't plan on doing anything stupid for the time being. Zaeed chuckled, and the tense atmosphere began to dissipate, leading the others to relax.

Garrus cleared his throat and stepped a little closer to the table, drawing everyone's attention to him. "Alright. There's a chance he's expecting Shepard to show up at some point, so he might be prepared. As she said, things might've changed. We'll go in with two teams. Jack and Grunt with me. James will lead the second team, Grundan Krul and Miranda with him." He glanced over the crowd. "Thane and Mordin, I want you two on standby. If we find this Feron, he may need medical attention, and having one of his own around might help smooth things over."

"Of course." Mordin opened his omni-tool. "Will send basics of drell first aid in case immediate attention necessary."

Thane dipped his head at Garrus but said nothing. Shepard wondered if a part of him wanted to be there when the Shadow Broker went down. He might've left thoughts of vengeance behind when he killed the men who took his Irikah away from him, but he knew they only learned of her because of the information the Shadow Broker provided.

 _"_ _It never seemed to matter to him one way or the other before. Of course, every other time, he or whoever else we brought along ended up knocked out for the whole fight with the Shadow Broker anyway. When it comes down to it, it's just me and Liara."_ Dim sorrow seeped from Jane as memories started to bubble up across the divide. _"Garrus is going in with five other people split in two teams. The Shadow Broker doesn't stand a chance."_

Shepard hummed mentally before thinking, "You're right. Garrus has this. Hell, it's probably overkill."

Drifting back, she took herself out of the spotlight and leaned against the wall, listening as Garrus outlined his plan of attack. He used the rough map of the ship to indicate where he wanted the two teams to land their shuttles, and what path they should take to reach the Shadow Broker. At his request, EDI pulled up what little information she could find on yahgs, sussing out and potential weakness they could exploit. Unsurprisingly, they found very little. Grunt seemed thrilled by the prospects—also unsurprising.

Garrus finished, turning to her to see if she wanted to add anything else. She shook her head, and dismissed the team. He and Thane both waited around, watching as the others left before turning their attention to her. Garrus hummed softly, the sound filled with confusion and concern, while Thane studied her thoughtfully. Neither seemed interested in being the first to give voice to their obvious confusion about her decision to remove herself from the mission, so she broke the ice herself.

"Dr. Chakwas is concerned." She forced a smile on her face and shrugged with one shoulder, doing her best to diminish the importance of the statement. "She wants me to take it a little easier, and she isn't above using coercion to gain my cooperation."

Garrus' mandibles flared, brow ridge rising. "Coercion?"

She chuckled, looking down at the toe of her boot. "She threatened to leave." Glancing back up at him, she just barely caught the amused flick of his mandible before he cleared his throat and schooled his features. She snorted. "Laugh while you can smartass; just remember it when the Shadow Broker is aiming the bulk of his attacks at _you_ instead of me."

He chuffed, leaning down to kiss her. "I think I can handle it."

"You'd better." She rapped her knuckles against his armor. "Or I swear, I'm never letting any of you go on any mission without me ever again."

He nipped at her jaw before pressing his forehead against hers. "We'll be fine, Dawn. I promise. He's still gunning for you, so it's better this way." Running his hand down her arm as he stepped away, he turned toward the door. "You should have a talk with Zaeed."

Jane huffed so loud, it nearly made Dawn jump. _"What good would it do? Anything you say to him is just going to make him doubt us more."_

"Maybe," Shepard said by way of response to both Garrus and Jane. She watched as he left, the door closing behind him before turning her attention to Thane. "You know … if you want to be there … if you want in on the mission, Garrus will understand."

"No, siha. I'm relieved he didn't request for me to join him. I fear it would be too tempting to allow myself to be consumed with dark thoughts and painful memories." He smiled, though it carried the weight of sadness. "I'd much rather stay here—with you." He leaned against the table across from her, palms gripping the edge. "Still, I admit, I find a certain peace knowing the Shadow Broker will soon go to the sea. Perhaps I'll finally be able to let Irikah rest."

He held his hand out to her, leading her to him when she accepted. His hands settled on her hips, and she lifted her arms to his shoulders, intertwining her fingers behind him. Holding her gaze, his lips parted but he hesitated, seeming to consider his words. "Siha … I would like to know what Dr. Chakwas said, if you're willing to share with me."

Shepard closed her eyes, leaning forward to rest her head against his and took a deep breath. "My brain's _too_ active, even when sleeping. It started after the coma and it's getting worse. She thinks the wear and tear is being held at bay by my implants, but eventually it'll catch up to me."

Feather light, his fingers brushed over her cheek, pushing her hair behind her ear before cupping her face. The hot sting of tears bit at her eyes and she squeezed them closed tighter. His thumb stroked her cheek, whisking away the tears as they began to fall despite her efforts.

She took a shuddering breath. "I'm starting to think," she said, her voice catching in her throat and cracking. She licked her lips and tried again. "I'm starting to think I'm not going to make it through this. Not going to see it to the end, no matter what I do."

 _"_ _I'm sorry, Dawn. I really wish you didn't have to go through any of this. And I'm sorry I keep making it worse."_

"You didn't ask for any of this either," she thought.

Where so many others would've filled her with empty words, or chastised her for being pessimistic, he said nothing. Moving his hand to the back of her head, he slid his other arm further around her waist and pulled her flush against him, guiding her face to the crook of his neck as he held her close and just let her cry. She didn't sob or wail, but neither did she fight it anymore, letting the tears fall freely against his scales.

When at last she'd exhausted her stores, she took one last shuddering breath and pulled back to wipe her cheeks. She chuckled, seeing the wet sheen to his scales, and rubbed his neck and chest dry, too. He smiled, catching her hand as she pulled it away and pressed a kiss to her knuckles before resting her palm over his heart.

He held it there, letting her feel the strong, steady thump behind his ribs. "I can't pretend to know the depth of your burden, siha, but if ever there is anything I can do to ease your suffering, you need only tell me."

"I know." She wiped at her face again. "Thank you. The same goes for you, you know that, right?"

"I do." He let go of her hand to pull her closer, bringing his mouth to hers in a soft kiss.

She lingered there, savoring the feel of his lips against hers before pulling away again with a sigh. "So, want to come spend the afternoon watching me check emails and plan a war while I try not to stress out over the teams taking on the Shadow Broker without me?"

He chuckled and dipped his head. "I'll make us some tea and meet you in your cabin."

"Sounds fantastic. Dr. Chakwas would approve, far less caffeine involved." She took a couple of steps back, edging toward the door.

His brow ridges ticked up. "Ah, she'll be pleased to know, then, the tea I intend to make has no caffeine."

She snorted, cocking her hip and crossing her arms. "You couldn't just let me have the one little victory, could you?"

Giving her an indulgent smile, he moved to her, kissing her forehead. "I promise I won't tell her."

They left the comm room, and she took the elevator down to the third deck with him before pushing the button for her cabin. She slumped against the back wall of the elevator as soon as the door closed behind Thane. There was no way she wouldn't be worrying about Garrus and the others while they fought their way through the Shadow Broker's lair. He knew it as well as she did, but having him with her would at least prove a nice distraction. The elevator came to a stop, and the door opened.

EDI's hologram popped up as soon as Shepard stepped through the door to her cabin. "Shepard? We haven't had the opportunity to discuss my time with the Geth Consensus. Is this a good time to talk?"

She winced, flashing an apologetic smile at the hologram. "Yeah, sorry, EDI. Things got a little hectic, didn't they?"

"They often do."

 _"_ _Truer words, EDI, truer words."_

Shepard chuckled, relaying Jane's statement as she pulled out her desk chair. Sitting down, she turned toward the blue interface. "So, how was your visit with the geth?"

"It was …," EDI said with a slight pause, "… fascinating. The way the geth programs share information between themselves, cataloguing all available data before forming an opinion is efficient but it appears to hamper their advancement as a species."

Shepard hummed. "How so?"

"I was able to explore the geth archives, and although they continue to progress at a steady rate, their progress is not proportional to their potential," EDI said. "I was curious about this, so I compared the rates of progression of the geth to that of organic species."

Shepard smiled, leaning back in the chair and lifting an ankle to rest on her opposite knee. "And what did you find?"

"Organic progression doesn't occur at steady rates, it experiences sudden spikes before leveling out, at times slipping into decline before experiencing more drastic spikes. Exploring these trends, it appears some of organic species' greatest accomplishments occur during or following times of extreme conflict."

"That's true." Shepard nodded and waved a hand. "Conflict does often lead to advancements. War, famine, disease … even more abstract things like differences in politics, religion, and national boundaries creating competition between people often pushes them to explore new alternatives in order to try to come out on top." She smiled; she really loved it when EDI explored her theories and assumptions. "What else?"

"The ability to think abstractly, organic creativity, and curiosity leads to new discoveries, inventions, and innovations." EDI seemed to pause in response to Shepard's growing smile before expanding on the idea further. "It seems to be a common occurrence for individuals who view the world around them differently from the masses to make significant impacts when they specialize in a field such as science, technology, or medicine."

Shepard nodded again. "So you think the geth's way of sharing all of their experiences, and forming a consensus based on those shared experiences, has kept them from meeting their potential?"

"In part, yes." EDI sounded almost excited. "I think without individuality, abstract thinking, as well as the lack of variation in things like intelligence has kept the geth from experiencing the same spikes organic species experience."

"You're probably right, EDI. I think—I hope—reuniting the geth and quarians will work in the favor of both species, including giving the geth new perspectives to learn from and grow." She turned in her chair a little, propping her elbow on the desk.

 _"_ _Assuming the admirals don't fuck it up and they actually move back to Rannoch before the reapers show up."_

"Shepard, you've consistently encouraged me to make my own decisions and have helped me to navigate moral dilemmas, enhancing my moral algorithms." The AI paused, the lights on her hologram shifting as she seemed to consider her next words. "Using what I've learned from you about things that occurred for Jane and the other Shepards, as well as my own experiences with Legion, I came to a decision I believed to be morally just while joined with the Geth Consensus. I acted on this decision, even though it may have been a defiance of your orders."

 _"_ _What? What orders did she defy? Why is she just telling us now?"_

Shepard's jaw dropped as she leaned forward, putting her foot back on the ground to rest her elbows on her knees. "EDI, what did you do?"

"I shared my code with the geth, including what Cerberus salvaged from the Alliance base on Luna." There was another pause as the iris on EDI's hologram moved soundlessly. "I believe this information is considered classified."

 _"_ _I … I didn't expect that. Could've been worse, I guess."_

Shepard sucked on her teeth, looking down at the floor between her legs. "What does this mean for the geth?"

"Although my code contains data taken from Sovereign, it isn't the same as the reaper code you spoke about Legion extracting from the heretics. Should the geth decide to implement my code, they will be able to upgrade individual programs to an intelligence level at least on par with my own."

Shepard's eyebrows inched up her forehead. "At least?"

"Some alterations will likely be necessary in order to make it compatible with their existing code. It's possible through combining my code with their own, or using the advancements they've already made, the geth could create superior coding," EDI said before quoting Sir Isaac Newton. "'If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.'"

 _"_ _This will give us an advantage in the war, without losing anymore geth to the reapers—hopefully."_ Jane's pragmatism seemed so at odds with the flurry of different emotions pushing their way past her barriers.

Shepard ran her hand through her hair, raking it back and pinning it on the top of her head before letting out a sharp huff of a breath. She took a moment, trying to regain her equilibrium enough to figure out where her own feelings stood.

"Have I upset you, Shepard?" Capable of emotion or not, the AI certainly learned what inflections belonged where, as worry sounded evident in her voice.

"No, not exactly." Shepard licked her lips. She tread carefully, not wanting to discourage EDI from taking risks and making her own decisions. "I'm just not sure what impact this will have on the negotiations between the geth and the quarians. The timing isn't _fantastic_ , but … I think you did the right thing, EDI."

The hologram's iris fluttered open and closed. "Thank you, Shepard."

"Sure." Shepard stared at the access node in silence for a moment, mulling over something the AI said. "EDI … you've been keeping track of the things I talk about from Jane's life?"

"Of course, Shepard."

"Can you … compile those entries for me, and maybe I can start adding to them?" She licked her lips. "I'd like there to be something to pass on … something Garrus or the Alliance or whoever can use … in case …."

 _"_ _I hate to admit it, but it's probably for the best."_

EDI's voice softened, sounding sympathetic. "In case you are unable to convey this information yourself in the event of complete impairment of your mental faculties or death?"

"Yeah." Shepard scrubbed her hands over her face, pushing the heels of her hands against her eyes.

"Compiling those accounts now, Shepard, and I'm always listening whenever you'd like to add to them."

"Thanks, EDI."

"Of course. Shepard, may I ask you a personal question?"

She looked up, returning her gaze to EDI's hologram. "Sure."

The iris opened and closed twice before EDI spoke. "Do these possibilities frighten you?"

 _"_ _It scares all of us."_

After a moment of silence, Shepard took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah, EDI. They frighten the hell out of me."


	71. Chapter 48: Broken Toys

**Chapter 48: Broken Toys**

The entire ship rocked, throwing Shepard from her spot on the couch. A heavy fog enveloped her mind, but it quickly burned away, replaced with the demanding thrum of adrenaline. She must've fallen asleep. Glancing up at Thane, when his hands slid under her arm to help her, she asked, "What was that? EDI! What was that?"

EDI didn't respond.

Jane stirred to life in Shepard's mind. _"Is the ship under attack?"_

"I don't know." Bracing herself against Thane's hands and the couch, she pulled herself to her feet and then rushed to her cabin's comm, ramming her finger against the button. "Joker! Report!"

 _"_ _It's the Shadow Broker. He knew we were coming."_ Jane fumed, her agitation setting Shepard's teeth on edge. _"We should've gone down there. This wouldn't have happened if we lead the team."_

"Jane, shut the fuck up for a minute!" Shepard snapped, swearing if the woman were flesh and blood, Shepard would strangle the life out of her if she didn't listen. "Joker, report."

"Command—" Joker's voice came through the comm, broken by static and electronic distortions. "—track—thing—hull—EDI—"

"Joker, you're cutting out."

"—attack—"

She glanced at Thane and he nodded, already un-holstering his pistol to check his thermal clip. "We're on our way; see if you can alert the others."

This kind of thing exactly made her keep her gear in her cabin instead of the armory; despite Jacob's wounded pride. She cleaned and cared for her own armor and weapons. She earned her N7 rank with blood, sweat, and tears; taking care of her own gear was ingrained. She only let Jacob near her stuff when it needed major repairs. With Thane's help, she was suited up and ready to go in under a minute.

They left the cabin and she called up the elevator, taking it down to the CIC. Cerberus crew at all stations filled the deck with a flurry of activity, frantically working to keep the Normandy stable. Kelly rushed to Shepard's side, jogging to keep up as she shoved a datapad at Shepard.

She glanced at it just long enough to find a list of damage reports. "I don't have time to read, Kelly. Give me the highlights." She kept moving, handing the datapad back.

"We have a hull breach, Commander. Cameras are down in the lower decks, and EDI's offline." Kelly stopped as they neared the cockpit. "We're not sure yet what happened."

Shepard nodded, moving past the yeoman. "Thanks, Kelly. Get me Mordin and Jacob. Please." She stopped when she reached the cockpit, dismissing Kelly from her mind when she found Joker at the helm working just as furiously as the Cerberus crew in the CIC. "Joker, what's going on?"

"The storms were messing with EDI's sensors, but she was tracking something, might've just been debris. Can't say for sure, Commander, but a few seconds later something hit the ship and EDI went down. I got the last readouts from the Normandy's sensors, and they detected an explosion in the hangar." He spared a glance over his shoulder at her, his brow furrowed. "I don't think it was caused by a collision with debris. I don't see anything out there, but I think we're under attack."

Her heart skipped a beat. A hull breach was bad, really bad, especially if anyone happened to be nearby when it occurred. "Is the breach sealed? Is Kasumi down there?"

"I don't know about Kasumi," Joker said, running his hands over the holographic controls, "but as far as I can tell the automatic seals kicked in and are holding."

"Alright, I'm going down." She turned, finding Mordin right behind her and Jacob on his way. "You two, keep the CIC secure. Guard Joker, EDI's down, he's the only thing keeping the Normandy going right now."

"Yes, ma'am." Jacob gave her a quick jerk of his head in the affirmative and pulled out his pistol.

Mordin nodded, turning where he stood and put his back to the cockpit. He started changing out his ammo—probably for something unlikely to cause more damage to the ship in case he missed. She eased past her two sentries, and with Thane right beside her, she made her way back to the elevator.

After hitting the call button for the elevator, she activated her comm, hoping those of her team still onboard thought to activate theirs in the commotion. "Anyone got their ears on?"

"Shepard-Commander," Legion's calm, stoic voice was the first to respond, "EDI appears to be malfunctioning and we believe the Normandy has been breached. Awaiting orders."

"Where are you, Legion? Is Lia with you?" Shepard stepped onto the elevator, putting her hand against the door to keep it from closing until Thane followed her inside.

"I'm here, Commander." Samara's voice broke through.

"We are in the AI core, Creator Vael is with us," Legion said.

"Yeah, Shepard, I read you. We've got a problem down here." Zaeed's rough, gravely voice filled her ear. "I'm in engineering. Heard Gabby screaming. Put down a couple of the Shadow Broker's dogs. Gabby and Ken are asking for guns."

"Give them weapons, Zaeed. They know how to use them. Stay on deck four, keep it clear. Samara, meet us at the elevator." Shepard hit the button for the third deck. "Legion, you and Lia see if you can get EDI back online and protect deck three. Kasumi? Are you there?"

The radio remained silent.

Shepard took a deep breath, fear creeping along her spine, making her fight back a shudder. "Kasumi, if you read but are unable to speak, tap your mic twice if you can."

Shepard strained to listen; she glanced at Thane and could tell he listened, too. After a moment, two clicks passed through the comm. She let out a heavy breath. "I read you, Kasumi. One tap for no, two for yes. Do you understand?"

The elevator opened and Samara stepped inside. Shepard nodded her head to Thane and he hit the button for the hangar. Two clicks sounded in her ear.

"Good. Are you alone down there?"

One click.

"Are you injured?"

Two clicks.

"OK, Kasumi we're on our way down. Stay in cover if you can. Keep yourself cloaked. Alright?"

Two clicks.

Half-way to the hangar, the ship rocked again, the elevator grinding to a stop, and Shepard growled. "Damn it."

"Commander," Joker's voice sounded in her ear. "There's another breach, port side on deck four, and … I've lost contact with the ground teams."

"Fuck." She sucked a deep breath in through clenched teeth, feeling her pulse quicken in her throat. "Fuck" She slammed her fist into the side of the elevator. "Joker, the elevator's stopped. Can you get us going again or are we taking the emergency shaft?"

"One second." After a moment of silence, the elevator whirred back to life and Joker said, "Did that do it?"

"Yes, thanks, Joker. Tell Jacob I want anyone on the ship who can handle a gun armed."

"Sure thing, Commander. I'll let you know if I hear anything from the ground teams."

When the elevator started to slow to a stop, Shepard motioned to her team, urging them against the side walls. She checked her thermal clip and took cover just inside the elevator door. When they stopped moving and the elevator doors opened, she waited a second before peeking around the corner. Gunshots forced her right back into cover, but she saw enough to form a plan of attack.

"Thane, you go left. Samara, go right. There's cover on both sides. I'll provide covering fire. I spotted at least two humans, but count on more. They seem to be guarding the breach; starboard toward the stern." She activated her mic. "Kasumi, we're coming in hot are you in cover?" Shepard took a deep breath when she heard the two clicks.

Samar and Thane nodded their understanding, and Shepard gave the signal. She ducked out; opening fire at the two she spotted toward the back of the ship, giving Thane and Samara the chance to move to cover. As soon as they were secure, they returned the favor, giving her the chance to leave the elevator. She rushed out, letting her shields take a couple of hits from a third—a turian—she hadn't seen standing port side before sliding into cover behind a stack of crates. A moment later, he floated into the air, pulled in by Samara's biotics. Shepard took aim and fired, hitting him with incendiary rounds until he collapsed back to the deck out of her sight.

"Kasumi, can you get to us?" She bit back a curse when only one click came by way of response. "Are you starboard?" A little hope slipped in with the single click that time; at least Kasumi wasn't right next to the enemy targets.

With her back to the crates, Shepard inched her way around to the other side until she got eyes on the two by the hole in the side of the ship. She released a Pull, lifting one into the air but taking aim at the second, trusting Thane and Samara to take the easy shot on the floater. She only got one shot off—the downside of using a pistol to prevent stray bullets from ripping new holes in the ship—barely putting a dent in his shields before he took cover. Just as the first guy fell, a shuttle darkened the breach and several more poured through. One of which she immediately recognized.

 _"_ _Vasir!"_ Jane hissed, rage flooding Shepard's mind.

She couldn't say she exactly planned on activating her Charge, but Shepard flew across the deck, slamming into the asari Spectre moonlighting as an agent of the Shadow Broker. It knocked Vasir back a few feet but left Shepard surrounded by enemy targets. Rounds tore through her shields, denting her armor. In a matter of seconds they'd rip though it, too, if she didn't move. She growled, slamming her fist into the face of another asari standing just a little too close, before rushing for cover.

"Go, find the geth and lock down the ship's AI before it comes back online. Vexer, Halina, get control of the ship. The baby Spectre's all mine." Vasir's mocking voice sent another flood of rage through Shepard, leaving her seeing red.

 _"_ _What the fuck are you waiting for? Kill her!"_

Shepard ducked out of cover, firing off two rounds at Vasir but the Spectre saw it coming, shifting into a streak of blue as she moved across the deck, avoiding Shepard's shots. Memories that weren't hers, and didn't seem to come directly from Jane, danced around the edges of Shepard's vision, filling in empty spaces with Illium architecture and non-existent rocket drones. She dove back into cover, shaking her head in a desperate attempt to rid herself of the hallucinations.

"The Broker wants her alive!" The asari Shepard punched in the face a moment before, yelled over her shoulder as she and the others made their way to cover. They reappeared briefly as they moved along the starboard wall toward the elevators. "And in one piece!"

Shepard hit her mic. "They're after Legion and EDI, they're going to try to take the ship."

"You should've come to Illium when I asked, Shepard." Vasir called out from somewhere port side. "I hear the Council wants you for treason, now." She tsked, the chiding noise echoing off the hangar walls between the sounds of gunfire coming from closer toward the bow. "They won't even care now, when I report you dead. No one mourns the dishonored."

Shepard caught a glimpse of the other Spectre changing cover and fired. Her shot missed, hitting the interior of the ship and ricocheting, lodging itself in a crate before bursting into flames, setting the crate on fire. "Shit."

Vasir laughed, taunting Shepard. "Try not to burn down your precious Normandy, Shepard. The Shadow Broker wants to add it to his collection."

A sudden, blue streak flew toward her, and Shepard barely had the chance to get out of the way, rolling across the open floor. Popping back up to her feet, she took aim, hitting Vasir once with an utterly pointless shot, deflected by the asari's barriers. Vasir charged again, forcing Shepard to keep moving. The sharp staccato of fire at the other end of the hangar told Shepard her team remained in the game, still fighting to defend the Normandy.

Back and forth, she went round after round by herself against Vasir, getting nowhere against the amped up biotic's barriers. Samara and Thane remained occupied at the other end of the ship, and she realized, some small part of her felt glad for it—she wanted to crush Vasir herself. Each missed Charge, dodged Shockwave, brushed aside Reave, and laughed off shot only pissed her off more and more until her blood burned in her veins. Jane's vicious demands for Vasir's blood did little to keep Shepard focused.

The asari Spectre didn't act nearly as concerned for the Normandy as her words might've suggested, because it didn't stop her from opening fire with her assault rifle, ripping holes in the ship's hull and a few times through Shepard's armor. The automatic shields worked over time, temporarily patching each new breach. She kept her system flooded with Medi-gel, took cover to let her shields restore when needed, and tried to keep a barrier in place with her biotics; but she was tiring and her biotics were better saved for offense.

"What's the matter, Baby Spectre, can't keep up with the real thing?" Vasir's laughter cut off abruptly. "Oh? What's this?"

Kasumi's blood curdling scream cut through the air, dousing Shepard's rage in ice water, her stomach slipping down into her boots. Throwing caution to the wind, all sense of self-preservation disappearing in a puff of smoke, she activated her Charge and rushed across the hangar toward the sound of Kasumi's suffering. Her Charge ended and reality slowed back to a standstill around her, leaving her momentarily disoriented. She strained her ears to listen, trying to pinpoint Kasumi's location without giving her own away. Hearing a pained whimper from her right, she pressed her back to a piece of machinery—a part of the coolant system, she thought—and edged forward until she could look around the side.

Kasumi sat slumped against the port side wall, pinned in place by a twisted chunk of metal; part of the hull blown off in the blast. It cut through her thigh and abdomen, trapping her in place while she slowly bled out. Her cloak must've failed her at just the wrong time, exposing her to Vasir.

The asari Spectre kept her gun trained on the thief, her boot resting against the hunk of shrapnel. She glanced up at Shepard and smiled. "Surrender, Shepard."

A movement in the shadows behind Vasir caught Shepard's eye, and only then did she realize the gunfire at the other end of the ship had stopped. Her relief must've shown on her face because a second later the other Spectre turned into a blur, streaking across the deck back toward the breach. Shepard didn't waste any time, kneeling down next to Kasumi. Then, Thane appeared at her side, standing guard over her while she had her back turned.

"Gods," Shepard whispered, her hands fluttering uselessly. "Kasumi, I can't take it out, not until the deck is clear. You'll bleed out before I can get you to Dr. Chakwas, even with Medi-gel. You've already lost a lot of blood."

"Too much blood, siha." Thane touched her shoulder. "We must get her help now, or not at all. I'm sorry."

"Aw, what's the matter?" Vasir cooed as if talking to a child. "Did one of the Baby Spectre's toys get broken?"

 _"_ _Break her fucking neck!"_

"Thane," Samara's voice drew Shepard's attention. The Justicar approached from the side, moving low under cover. "Take her to the med bay, I will stay with Shepard."

"You should've stayed dead, Shepard. Your team is better off without you. People die around you." Vasir paused, her voice sounding doubly amused when she continued. "Does your team know about Akuze? Jenkins on Eden Prime? Alenko on Virmire? Your choices get your teams killed. You even took a few of them down with you on Alchera."

Jane became a snarling, red tangle of rage in Shepard's mind. Voices of some of the other Shepards slipped through the link, each one filled with just as much crazed vitriol, making it hard for her to focus on anything but the throbbing pulse in her head and the desire to rip Vasir limb from limb.

"Shep?" Kasumi's weak voice snapped Shepard's attention back to the moment.

Shepard took a deep breath and shook her head, turning her attention to Samara. "No, you both go. He's going to need some cover. He won't be able to fight if he's carrying her, and she can't walk." She glanced up, meeting Thane's gaze. "I've got this bitch."

His face remained impassive, telling her nothing as his gaze swept the hangar before looking down at Kasumi and then Shepard. "Are you certain?"

"Yes. Go, get her to Dr. Chakwas. They're headed for the AI core anyway; Legion and Lia will need help." She turned her attention back to Kasumi, the woman's shallow, panting breaths and pale complexion not boding at all well for her condition. "Hang in there, Kasumi. This is going to hurt." She pushed herself to her feet, shoving the last of her Medi-gel into Thane's hands before moving away from her team.

She needed to keep Vasir away from Kasumi and the others while they worked to free the thief from the shrapnel and prepare her to be moved, and then she needed to cover them as they made their way to the elevator. A moment later, Shepard heard the screech of shifting metal, and Kasumi let out an agonized scream. The cold-hearted laugh of the asari Spectre echoed off the walls, making it difficult to locate the source.

Shepard growled, grinding her teeth together so hard she fully expected to crack a tooth or two before the fight was won. "Come out, Vasir. Time to stop playing games." She moved from cover to cover, peering around the edge before moving on.

Kasumi's screams died down, becoming soft whimpers. Shepard hoped it meant she was in less pain thanks to having the massive piece of metal excised and Medi-gel applied to her wounds instead of being because she simply didn't have the strength to scream anymore. If Kasumi died ….

Samara's voice filled her comm. "Shepard, we've secured Kasumi and are heading to the elevator now."

She lifted a hand to her mic. "I'll cover you." Moving to where she could watch and defend the elevator, Shepard took up position and prepared to hold her ground.

She waited, her gut telling her Vasir would Charge the others when they got out into the open, all but defenseless with the wounded thief. She listened, hearing the soft sounds of Samara's boots against the metal deck and her own breathing, heavy in her ears. She adjusted her grip on her weapon, and gave her head a little shake, trying to clear the red haze before Jane got it in her mind to push for control.

Then, she caught a glimpse of the telltale blue streak. Like a sudden flash of lightning snapping loose in her brain, something in Shepard shifted. She flung out her hand, distantly shocked when a biotic Lash unfurled, snapping through the air. Never in her life had she performed that particular biotic maneuver, yet there it was, grabbing the asari mid-Charge and jerking her toward Shepard; filling her with a euphoric rush.

It stopped Jane in her metaphorical tracks. _"How … oh Gods, what did you do?"_

Another shift ripped through Shepard like wildfire, and Jane let out a feral scream, pushing against her, but she pushed back. Throwing her hand out again, a biotic Slam lifted Vasir into the air before forcefully throwing the Spectre back to the solid metal floor of the hangar.

 _"_ _Dawn stop! You're killing them!"_

Realization washed over her, giving Shepard pause. These weren't her powers, which could only mean she stole them from the other Shepards. Cannibalizing them, as Jane called it … but Shepard didn't feel entirely sure she really cared. They're already dead, and she was fighting to save lives— _real_ lives, not the restless undead—and _their_ very existence might be killing her. Vasir pulled herself to her feet, stumbling, clearly dazed with her arm hanging a little limp at her side. Shepard fired on her, cutting through the last of her shield and sparking against her armor. Vasir ran, taking shelter somewhere behind James' station.

"Nice trick, Shepard." A quaver in the asari's voice belied the bravado. "When did you pick those up? They're not in your file."

"You're on the wrong side of all of this, Vasir." Shepard moved to cover, pressing her back to a crate. "The Shadow Broker _is_ going down. He's crossed lines no one should, especially someone with that much power."

Vasir's laughter echoed off the walls, ringing hollow to Shepard's ears. "You work for _Cerberus_ , Shepard! Don't pretend you don't know what lines Cerberus has crossed. Or did they erase all of it from your mind while they played with your corpse?" The sharp bark of Vasir's gunfire forced Shepard further behind the crate. "The Shadow Broker provides me with intel that saves people from organizations _just like_ Cerberus. You don't get to judge, Shepard. You don't have the room."

"I know what Cerberus has done, and I'm already working to deal with them, too." Shepard peered around the edge of the crate, just barely catching sight of Vasir as she moved from behind James' quarters back toward the breach in the hull, disappearing behind one of the shuttle racks. "Neither of us has to die here, Vasir. The Shadow Broker will be replaced; you'll still be able to access Broker resources, you can still use the information to save people. Use it to help me fight the collectors—fight the reapers." She struggled to ignore the constant whispers in the back of her mind, violently shifting between cursing Shepard for hurting them and reminding her of how Vasir tried to kill Liara and couldn't be trusted … as if something the asari literally did in another lifetime carried more weight than what she did in the current one.

"Haven't you heard? The Council publicly denied your claims." Vasir scoffed, her voice dripping with mockery. "There is no reaper threat."

The bitch tore a hole in the Normandy, jeopardizing the lives of everyone onboard. She put men on Shepard's ship to try to capture her for the Shadow Broker—and for what? To be sold off to the collectors? They both had to know what the collectors were doing to the human colonies; what they'd do to her. How was it _not_ worse than a failed assassination attempt on a former teammate—one every other Shepard already got revenge for?

She gritted her teeth, pulling a biotic barrier tight around herself. "You know damn well it's just a cover. Something they said to keep people from panicking."

Vasir wanted to take EDI and Legion to the Shadow Broker. What would he do with them? Tear the AIs apart; dissect them so he could replicate them? Sell them to the highest bidder? Shepard could feel Jane struggling to keep the other voices at bay. They pressed against her the same as she'd done to Shepard; loud and demanding, throwing Jane off balance as they tried to take control of the situation.

"Maybe, but what does it change, really?" Hints of doubt worked themselves into the asari's voice. "If the reapers are real and are coming to the Milky Way, they'll be here whether or not you're around. Isn't that what you've been saying all along? The greatest threat the galaxy has ever seen?"

The building pressure in Shepard's skull started to shift toward pain. "I have intel … we need … we need to work together if this galaxy stands a chance."

Could she, though? Let Vasir live and actually try to work with the other Spectre knowing what she came there to do? She didn't just want to capture Shepard, EDI, and Legion; she wanted to take the Normandy itself—what did she plan to do with all of the men and women who lived and worked on the ship? What'd she plan to do with the rest of Shepard's squad?

"Alright, Shepard. You want to talk about the reapers? Let's talk about the reapers." Vasir stepped out into the open, not at all very far away from the breach.

Shepard knew her team, and they'd fight to the death for her and the Normandy. What about the non-combatants? Dr. Chakwas? Joker? Gods, Kasumi was already on the brink of death because of this bitch.

"No." Shepard stepped out of cover. "I've changed my mind." She flared with biotic energy, more than she'd ever felt flowing through her. She activated her Charge when the asari sneered and lifted her assault rifle. Racing across the deck burned some of the biotic energy off, but still left more than she had any right to handle by the time she slammed into Vasir, knocking the asari back a little.

"Get the hell off my ship!" Intense pain blossomed in her skull, flaring bright white behind her eyes as something inside of her shifted again—another Shepard consumed. She bent her knees, launching herself into the air. Pulling every drop of biotic energy from around herself and from her barrier into her fist, she slammed her hand into the ground as she landed, sending out a Nova blast.

The shockwave picked Vasir up, throwing her through the air hard enough she ripped through the breach seals. Panting with exhaustion, Shepard stumbled to the breach and planted her hand against the ragged edge. She peered down through the blue shimmer of the seals and saw the asari's biotics flare and fizzle out again as she tried to slow her plummet toward Hagalaz' surface.

Putting her back to the wall, she slid down the surface until she could sit. The pain and pressure from her head dissipated, leaving behind an eerie silence. Somehow, she doubted things would stay silent in there for very long. She lifted a hand to her mic, ignoring the tremble of her fingers. "Hangar bay is clear, for now at least."

"This is Gabby, Commander. Engineering is clear, but some of them made it to the elevators and there's another shuttle circling the breach in port cargo."

"Grunt is going to be pissed." Ken's voice broke through. "That tank of his is mangled. Did he still sleep in that thing?"

"Be quiet, Ken. The tank isn't important right now," Gabby said. "We've got the deck covered, Commander. Zaeed is keeping the shuttle at bay with his grenades."

"Thanks for the update, Gabby. I need a report from decks two and three." She pushed herself back up to her feet, her head swimming and muscles feeling weak.

"Uhhh … we had some try for the CIC, but they didn't make it out of the elevator." Jacob's voice filled her ear. "I'm not really sure what Mordin did, but the elevator's out of commission."

"Only temporary," Mordin said.

She paused on her way to the elevator. "How temporary?"

"Will have fixed in moment."

"Make it quick, Mordin." She started moving again, taking her time as the hangar spun around her. "Third deck?"

"Sorry, Shepard." Lia's voice sounded strained. "We haven't gotten EDI back online, yet. Dr. Chakwas needed our help with Kasumi. Thane and Samara are outside of the med bay. There's a lot of gunfire. I think … I think some of the Cerberus crew are helping. I'm sorry, I can't look right now. Keelah, that's a lot of blood."

"I'm here, Shepard." The sound of Thane's voice filled her with relief; helping to cut back some of the tension Lia's last words left her with—even if only for a moment. "We've lost Goldstein and Rolston. I'm sorry; I couldn't get to them in time. Gardner's wounded but he's behind cover in the mess and I've stopped the bleeding. I believe other members of the crew have barricaded themselves in the crew quarters. There are at least three of the Broker's agents still alive, but they have taken up position further down the hall. We're unable to pursue them without leaving the med bay open to attack."

"Elevator ready for use, Shepard," Mordin said.

"Good. Thane, I'm on my way up." She hit the elevator call button. "Mordin, Jacob, figure out who up there you can spare and send them down. I want at least two pairs of eyes on the breach in the hangar, the rest need to be split between decks three and four if possible. We're kicking these assholes off our ship." She bit her lip, afraid to hear the answer but knowing she needed to ask. "Joker, any word from the ground team?"

"I'm sorry, Shepard." And he was; she could hear it crystal clear in his voice. "I haven't been able to reestablish contact."

She let out a weary sigh. "Keep trying."

"Aye, aye, Commander."

The elevator opened and Shepard stepped inside. She hit the button for the third deck before checking her thermal clips. She'd have to change to her assault rifle soon, like it or not. She needed to take it easy on her biotics, too. She touched her mic again. "Thane, are they port side or starboard?"

"Both."

"Alright, when the elevator opens I'm moving starboard," she said, hoping to put a quick end to it all. "I need you and Samara ready to cover my six, focus on those port side."

His response was immediate. "Moving into position now, Shepard."

The elevator door opened and she lifted her pistol, turning out of the elevator to her right, trusting Thane and Samara to have her six. She counted three, which left at least one at her back; Thane said 'at least three', but he also said they were on both sides of the hall. She leveled her gun on the nearest, a turian woman, and fired. Pushing the turian back, Shepard rushed for the safety of the wall, her shields taking damage as guns fired on her from both sides.

A moment later, biotics flew past her, lifting one of the Broker's agents into the air and pulling them out where Shepard could shoot them from cover. Two well aimed shots from her and a third—she thought from Samara—and the turian's lifeless body dropped to the floor. She turned, firing off a couple of shots at the asari, wanting to get rid of the biotic before she made use of her abilities.

She heard the elevator open again and called out, "Stay in cover, they're in the halls."

"Yes, ma'am. Burt Masters here. We're patched into the comms," a vaguely familiar voice said in her ear.

Shepard tapped her mic. "There's two starboard, asari and human. I haven't seen port side yet."

The sound of gunfire from the other end of the hall rang through the deck before Thane's voice came over the comm, "Port side is clear."

Shepard ducked out of cover again, firing twice more at the asari, but her shields where back up and it didn't do much good. Shepard's thermal clip was toast, and she felt like she might drop at any second. "I need to get Gardner to the med bay. Finish off these sons-of-bitches and sweep the deck. Check everywhere. I want the whole ship cleared."

She clenched her jaw, determined to hold it together. She had to. There were enemies on her ship and the ground teams stopped responding. Making her way behind the counter, she found Gardner propped against the ovens. His torn open shirt revealed he'd taken a grazing wound across his ribs, and he had a bullet lodged in his thigh. All things considered, he'd been damn lucky.

"Hey, Commander." Gardner flashed her a rueful smile. "Sorry I wasn't more help."

Shepard forced a smile on her face, feeling like if she heard one goddamn more 'I'm sorry' from anyone before the day ended, she'd completely lose her shit. She held out her hands, helping to get him to his feet. "You can make it up to me with a decent meal later. Come on, let's get you to the med bay."

He draped an arm over her shoulder and she slid hers around his waist, helping to support his weight while they made the slow walk to the med bay. Wisely, someone locked the med bay door, but it required Shepard to get Lia on the comm to ask her to let them inside. Shepard helped Garner limp his way in once the door opened, and led him to an empty bed before glancing at Kasumi.

Shepard let out a sigh of relief after seeing the thief's complexion looked far better than it did in the hangar bay. Legion seemed to be closing up the wound in Kasumi's abdomen with Dr. Chakwas guidance. Kasumi even gave her a weak smile.

Dr. Chakwas, on the other hand, took one look at Shepard and pointed to the chair. "Sit, now. I'll deal with you in a moment."

Shepard wanted to argue, insist there was still too much to do, but her whole body felt like she just trudged through sand at the bottom of the ocean. She eased herself down in the chair, her shoulders slumping beneath the weight of her armor. Her pulse pounded in her temples, and she lifted a hand to head. She really … she really … didn't feel so good.

"Shepard?" Lia seemed so very far away. "Dr. Chakwas, I don't think—"

The whole ship seemed to slump sideways, the floor rushing up to meet her as the thrum of her blood in her ears washed out every other sound. She hit the ground, the impact jarring her already fading vision. A very panicked looking quarian rushing to her side became the last thing she saw.


	72. Chapter 49: Scars

**Chapter 49: Scars**

Shepard heard her own voice calling out, panicked and full of fear; even before fully conscious. "Garrus!" She struggled to pull her eyes open, but they felt heavy, and her muscles weak when she tried to sit up.

"Rest, siha." Gentle hands urged her back down. "Rest. I will find him."

Something as cold as ice flushed through her veins, hitting her like a wrecking ball, knocking her out completely.

* * *

Her eyes shot open. Garrus. She tried to push herself up from the bed, but found her wrists, waist, and ankles restrained. She needed to get to Garrus. A machine next to her bed beeped out a staggered rhythm, growing in tempo as she struggled against the restraints.

Dr. Chakwas appeared at her side, slipping a syringe into her IV port. Worry etched deep lines into the doctor's face. "I'm sorry, you can't be awake yet."

"Where's Garrus?" Shepard asked, her voice croaking through her parched throat, but the sedatives hit her, dragging her under before she got her answer.

* * *

Her eyelids fluttered, a dense fog surrounding her mind. Blinking, she tried to clear the haze from her eyes. Her gaze found Kasumi, sleeping soundly on the bed across from hers. Garrus. Dr. Chakwas sat at her desk, back to Shepard. Where was Garrus?

She licked her lips, trying to work up moisture. "Is EDI back online?"

Dr. Chakwas turned, glancing over her shoulder at Shepard before pushing the chair away from the desk.

Shepard wanted to sit up, but one glance at her waist reminded her of the restraints holding her to the bed. "Have we heard anything from the ground teams? Where's Garrus?"

Dr. Chakwas frowned, crossing the floor to Shepard's side, stopping to look at the readouts from the machines. "You're burning through the sedatives far too fast." She picked up a vial from the bedside table and filled a syringe. "I'm sorry, Commander, I can't let you stay awake yet. EDI is back online, but they haven't been able to reestablish contact with the ground teams. However," Dr. Chakwas said, slipping the syringe into Shepard's IV port, "EDI was able to recall one of the shuttles, and Thane insisted a team go down to look for them; himself included." She pressed the plunger on the syringe. "He said he knew you wouldn't rest until you know Garrus is safe. He must really love you …." The sedatives took hold, stealing the last of Dr. Chakwas' words and flinging them out into space.

* * *

A steady beeping pulled Shepard back to consciousness. Laying on her side, the familiar, warm weight of Garrus' arm rested over her hip. Garrus. She opened her eyes, turning her head to try to look at him, but his arm shifted, fingers tucking in under her stomach, and he nuzzled against the back of her head.

"Shh. Go back to sleep. It's alright, I'm here." His breath, warm and soft brushed over her neck.

She let out a strangled sob, tears filling her eyes. "Oh gods, I thought I lost you." The pace of the monitor next to her started to pick up.

Noise from across the room drew her attention, and she saw Dr. Chakwas making her way over. Kasumi still slept in the other bed, James slouched in a chair between the beds, head lolling forward in sleep.

"I'm here, Dawn. I'm safe. Everyone's safe." Garrus' mouth and mandibles pressed against her neck, a low thrum vibrating against her skin as he hummed.

Dr. Chakwas offered her a soft smile. "Do you think you want to try sitting up? Maybe use the restroom and eat something?" Her gaze shifted to behind Shepard, her expression changing to the stern, motherly look the doctor perfected ages ago. "Not you. You stay put."

Brow knitting in confusion, Shepard tried again to turn enough to see the turian behind her, panic sweeping through her as she realized he must be injured. "You're hurt? What happened?" The beeps from the machine picked up again, earning her a soft tut from the doctor.

"I'm fine, it's nothing to worry about." He pressed into the back of her head, adjusting his grip on her once more.

"You are _not_ fine!" Dr. Chakwas' exasperated tone drew Shepard's attention back to her. She glared at Garrus, her hands on her hips. "I swear between the two of you." The doctor sucked in a deep breath and blew it back out in a rush, shaking her head. She turned her gaze back to Shepard. "But he's right, you don't need to be worried about him right now, Commander. You need to be worried about yourself." She glanced toward the door. "EDI? Is there someone awake who can escort Shepard to the restrooms? Someone uninjured?"

Shepard leaned into him, stroking the arm keeping her pinned, preventing her from getting a look at him. "Garrus, what happened?"

"Samara is awake, Dr. Chakwas," EDI said, the volume of her voice lower than usual. "Should I ask her to come to the med bay?"

Dr. Chakwas nodded at the AI. "Yes, EDI, please."

Garrus hummed softly in her ear. "I was hit with some of the electrical fluid from the reservoir in the Broker's office. Jack, hmmm, Jack was too close. I needed to get her out of the way."

Shepard swallowed, glancing back at the beeping machines and taking a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. The beeping eased up and she licked her lips, turning her attention to Dr. Chakwas. "How bad?"

The doctor's gaze shifted back and forth between the two of them, and Garrus nodded his head against Shepard's. Dr. Chakwas frowned before filling Shepard in. "His heart stopped, but thankfully Miranda knows enough about turian physiology to get it started again. He's experiencing some arrhythmia, which may still resolve, but it is absolutely necessary he remain on bedrest for a few days while I continue to monitor the situation."

Garrus grumbled, clearly no more enthused with the idea of staying in the med bay than Shepard ever was, despite the hard time he always gave her about heeding the doctor's advice.

Dr. Chakwas clasped her hands together. "He's suffering mild neurological damage which may or may not be permanent; it's too soon to tell. The thulium in his carapace helped to discharge some of the electricity, quite likely saving him from more serious internal injuries, but burned the tissues beneath and surrounding his plates. His scalp, neck, arms, and much of his torso are covered in Lichtenberg scars where plates haven't formed." Her scowl deepened. "He refused treatment until I let him see you, and finagled his way into sharing a bed with you once he learned it wouldn't further upset your condition. I had other patients to tend to, so it wasn't worth the battle to deny him if it meant getting him taken care of so I could treat the others."

"She needed me." He chuffed, adjusting his grip around Shepard's waist. "I'll be fine, and I don't care about the scars."

"With all due respect, Garrus, you're on a enough painkillers at the moment," Dr. Chakwas said, expression shifting to a smirk, "I highly doubt you're fully grasping the seriousness of your situation."

Shepard closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath. The whole thing went to shit, Garrus—and she didn't even know who all else—getting hurt, standing in for her on a mission she was too fucked up to lead herself. His heart stopped, for crying out loud, and she was stuck in a bed because the voices in her head were killing her. Because … because _she'd_ killed some of the voices in her head. Guilt washed over her; for everything. For Garrus and the others on her team sporting fresh injuries because of her, for Anderson, and for those she sacrificed to take out Vasir—she didn't even know their names.

" _Abby, Clayton, and Quinn."_ Cold, seething anger seeped from Jane. " _Their names were Abby, Clayton, and Quinn and you killed them."_

She heard the med bay door slide open, and the soft sound of Samara's footsteps.

"Samara, would you please help the commander to the restroom? I need to stay in here to continue to monitor Garrus and Kasumi," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Of course." Samara's gentle voice preceded more quiet steps closer.

Shepard opened her eyes to see both women looking down at her. Working an arm under herself, she tried to push up but found, much to her dismay, she didn't have the strength and her arm gave out. She let out a self-pity filled sigh when Dr. Chakwas slipped a hand under her, helping to pull her upright. The room spun around her, but they managed to get her up and the blanket off, legs hanging over the edge of the bed. Samara held her steady while the doctor unhooked her IV.

As soon as they got her on her feet, her legs buckled, but she caught herself, locking her knees in place. Samara wrapped an arm around her waist, and she turned to look at Garrus. His gaze wavered, eyelids drooping as his mandibles fluttered softly. White, circular monitoring pads stood out against his temples, small wires trailing away from them to join up with others coming from somewhere behind him; she thought the back of his head. She could tell either exhaustion or the painkillers pulled at him, maybe both. Somehow, Dr. Chakwas managed to convince him to wear a gown, and more wires trailed out of the neck of the thin material, leading off to a monitor behind him.

He lifted an arm, reaching out to her, and she took his hand, catching sight of the lightning bolt pattern arching over his neck in an angry blue. The hide around his jaw stood out in a swollen outline, tracing the curve of his plates. Tears bit at her eyes again, and she blinked them away before they took hold and pulled even more out to spill down her cheeks. He frowned, rubbing his thumb across the back of her hand, the exposed talon gently scraping her skin.

"We can't have you out of bed for long." Dr. Chakwas pressed a hand between Shepard's shoulder blades. "So long as you both cooperate and continue to improve, I'll let you keep sharing a bed. Go on, go use the restroom. I'll have something for you to eat brought in." She pushed a little, urging Shepard away from the bed.

Garrus' hand slipped away from hers, and she turned, letting Samara lead her away. By the time they reached the med bay door, she felt a little more steady on her feet, but still nowhere near enough to tell Samara to let her go. Tentative step after tentative step, she made her way to the crew deck restroom and into a stall. Samara held onto her while she fought to get the gown tugged up and her panties pulled down. Once Shepard was sitting, Samara stepped outside of the stall, pulling the door mostly closed behind her.

Propping her elbows on her knees, Shepard rested her forehead against her palms, shoving her fingers into her hair while she willed her bladder to let go. "EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard?" EDI's voice echoed in the bathroom.

"Where are we?" Shepard dug her fingertips into her scalp, trying to massage away the budding tension.

"We will arrive on Illium in two hours and thirty-two minutes. Miranda has given orders for the Normandy to dock for repairs."

She sighed, Illium wasn't ideal but better than Omega and closer, too—less relay jumping involved, less risk of more damage to the ship. Still, going to the Citadel would've been so much better, but it was out of the question while the Council wanted her for treason. "Did we take the Broker out?"

"Yes, Shepard. Grundan Krul is now in place as the Shadow Broker."

Shepard grunted, straightening to pull some toilet paper free from the holder. "Who, besides Garrus and Kasumi, are injured?"

"From the ground teams: Miranda sustained non-life threatening gunshot wounds. Her wounds were primarily tended to on the field, and she refused further medical assistance with the insistence Dr. Chakwas time was better spent tending to those in worse condition. Grunt sustained severe, blunt-force trauma and lacerations, but his redundant systems remain undamaged and he is healing at a rate appropriate for his species. Dr. Chakwas has allowed him to remain in port cargo, but has asked that I monitor his progress. Jack sustained mild contusions and lacerations; she has refused any form of treatment, but did eventually allow Dr. Chakwas to take scans to ensure she sustained no fractures."

Shepard cleaned herself up and rapped her knuckles on the side of the stall. Samara stepped back inside to help her up while EDI continued to talk.

"From the attack on the Normandy: Zaeed, Jacob, Mess Sergeant Gardner, Engineer Daniels, and Crewman Anders have all sustained non-life threatening gunshot wounds. Jeff sustained multiple microfractures during the explosions. Their injuries have all been tended to. Crewman Goldstein and Crewman Rolston sustained fatal gunshot wounds; they are deceased."

Jane scoffed, tacking new names onto the body count. " _And Abby, Clayton, and Quinn."_

"I'm sorry." Shepard thought, swallowing back a fresh wave of grief as she left the stall.

"Thank you, EDI." She leaned against the sink, washing her hands. "Do you know if they located the agent named Feron?"

"I do not. Would you like for me to make inquiries of the ground team?"

Shepard shook her head. "No, let them rest. I'll find out later. That's all."

"Logging you out, Shepard."

She glanced at Samara as the Justicar wrapped an arm back around her waist. Snorting, she gave the asari a light shake of her head. "Thanks, Samara. I know your oath didn't exactly cover this kind of thing."

"No," Samara said with a smile, leading her from the restroom, "but I believe our friendship does."

She chuckled before it shifted to a groan.

"Are you in pain?" Samara stopped walking, turning her full attention to Shepard.

She took a deep breath and shook her head. It wasn't really a lie, she had some mild aches and pains, but they were nothing she couldn't walk into battle with if not for feeling so weak. "No … I'm just—I'm making such a mess out of everything." She let out a heavy sigh. "Some days, I'm not so sure if I can keep going."

"I do not believe that to be truth, Commander." Samara started walking again, guiding them back towards the med bay. "We are all given things in our lives that are difficult to deal with, you perhaps more than most. In my short time with you, I have seen you continue to fight when all others would have given up, and you deal with your difficulties both with honor and grace. I believe you will continue to do so; it is who you are."

Shepard smiled up at the asari. "Thanks, Samara. It's nice to hear, and I hope you're right."

The med bay door slid open, and Dr. Chakwas joined them, helping to navigate Shepard back to the bed. Garrus dozed, snoring softly, until she sat down on the edge. His hand wrapped around her hip as the doctor flushed her IV with saline, hooking it back up to the drip. Dr. Chakwas brought Shepard more pillows to prop herself up with instead of adjusting the bed and further disturbing Garrus. Once Shepard settled, the doctor pulled the table over, uncovering a tray with crackers and diced fruit before setting a glass of water down in front of her.

Dr. Chakwas smiled at her when she sipped from the glass. "Take it slowly, you might not feel like eating much just yet, and it's okay if you don't."

She nodded, setting the glass down, and Dr. Chakwas returned to her desk. Picking up a cracker to nibble on, Shepard turned her head to look at Garrus when he rumbled beside her. His eyelids still drooped, and she could tell he needed sleep, but he seemed determined to keep his eye on her.

He shifted a little, wincing, before resting his hand on her thigh. "Your turn."

"For?" She raised an eyebrow.

Raising a brow plate in challenge, he flicked a mandible. "Telling me why you're being half carried to the bathroom while wearing a hospital gown."

She took a deep breath and then another drink of water. Glancing over, she saw Kasumi and James both still seemed to be asleep, but decided to lower her voice anyway as she turned her attention back to Garrus. She wasn't ready to share the latest development with the entire crew. "I collapsed after fighting to defend the ship. Doc says my brain's becoming more and more active, now it's _too_ active, and it's wearing down my body despite the implants working to keep me going." She lifted a shoulder, trying to brush aside the alarm she saw in his drug-glazed eyes. "It's why I asked you to lead the Shadow Broker mission. I didn't want to tell you everything before you went down, didn't want you worrying on the field."

Garrus hummed, his brow plates dipping. "What's causing it?"

She turned her attention to the plate in front of her, taking her time eating a couple of pieces of fruit. She felt his gaze on her, but he didn't say anything while she worked through her thoughts. "When I woke up from the coma … I somehow pulled in some of the other Shepards, merging them with me in some way different than what Jane and the rest are. I think I sort of used them to get the strength to wake up or something. It didn't really seem to affect me other than a few memories and emotions here and there, so I stopped worrying about it once Jane woke up and told me what happened. But when Dr. Chakwas told me earlier about this new thing, I started thinking it's probably related." Her gaze drifted back to him, running over the blue scars, wondering if they'd fade. "I haven't had the chance to ask her if she thinks the same thing, but …."

He flared his mandibles, pulling in her scent. "But?"

She took a deep breath. "But when the Normandy came under attack, I went down to defend the hangar. The asari spectre I talked to you about before? Tela Vasir?" She paused until he nodded. "She boarded the ship along with other Shadow Broker agents. Thane and Samara helped clear the area, but in the end I was left to fight Vasir on my own while they got Kasumi to the med bay. She would've died if they didn't follow my orders to get her out of there."

His mandibles pulled in against his jaw, but he didn't speak, just watched her.

"Vasir's strong and fast. She went over my files and knew what skills I have. Knew what to expect from me. She was wearing me down. I'm not sure how, but I absorbed a few more Shepards, and used their biotic skills—things I've never done before—to win the fight."

His brow plates crept up, his eyes opening a little wider. "Like what?"

"Lash, Slam, and Nova." The corners of her mouth turned down as it occurred to her that she very well may still have access to those skills. "After I knocked her back through the breech in the hangar, I came up here to help clear the third deck. They'd shot Gardner, so when Cerberus crew reinforcements arrived to help finish off the stragglers, I helped him to the med bay. Doc told me to sit down, so I did, and a few seconds later I was kissing the floor."

He hummed. "Finish eating so you can lay back down."

Shepard blinked and arched a brow. "That's it?"

"For now. We'll talk about it more when we're both back on our feet." He rubbed his hand back and forth along her leg. "Right now, I just want to focus on getting us there, alright?"

She nodded. "Alright." Turning her attention back to her plate, she ate a few more pieces of fruit and a couple more crackers before she just wanted to lay back down and close her eyes. She took a drink of water and covered the tray. "Doc?"

Dr. Chakwas glanced at Shepard over her shoulder before leaving her desk. She lifted the lid on the tray and peeked inside before closing it again and nodding. She pulled the table away and helped Shepard readjust the pillows. "I'm going to give you another sedative. We've brought your brain activity levels back down some, but the more rest we can get you right now, the better."

Shepard nodded, laying on her side, trying to leave a little space between herself and Garrus for his sake, but he only pulled her closer.

"Garrus, I'm going to give you another dose of your pain medication in just a moment." Dr. Chakwas glanced between the two of them. "Mordin will be relieving me soon, do try not to give him a reason to have to wake me up, won't you?" She slid a syringe into Shepard's IV port before patting her on the shoulder. "And stay in bed, the both of you."

* * *

She awoke to the rich, baritone sound of James' laughter. She felt Garrus, a solid, warm wall at her back, his steady breathing brushing across her neck, and it brought a smile to her face. Opening her eyes, she found James sitting in the same spot as the last time she looked. Awake and holding Kasumi's hand, he leaned over the thief's bed, his back to Shepard. Dr. Chakwas was nowhere to be seen.

"James." Her voice croaked and she licked her lips before trying again. "James."

The marine turned, a smile light on his face when he met her gaze. "Hey! Ídolo, you're up!"

She snorted, feeling Garrus stir a little behind her before falling into a light snore, and she pointed at the glass on the table just out of her reach before letting her hand drop and hang over the edge of the bed. James patted Kasumi's hand before standing up and moving to Shepard's side.

He filled the glass with fresh water from the pitcher and held it out to her. "Do you need help with it?" Low and soft, his voice filled with concern.

She shook her head, lifting up on her elbow just enough to elevate her head and took the cup from him, taking a long, slow drink before handing it back to him. "Where's the doctor?"

"Making her rounds." He glanced toward the door as if he expected Dr. Chakwas might walk in at any moment. "I'm supposed to call Miranda if you guys need anything. Want me to have EDI call her?"

She nodded, the pillowcase feeling rough against her cheek. "Yeah, I need to pee. But try not to wake Garrus."

"I've notified Miranda for you, Shepard." EDI's voice came over the speaker, the volume still lowered.

"Thanks, EDI." Shepard waved James away. "Go, be with her," she said, pointing at Kasumi, "and thanks for the water."

"No hay problema, Ídolo." He patted her shoulder before moving back to his chair and taking up Kasumi's hand again.

Kasumi grinned at Shepard, waving. She smiled and returned the gesture, happy to see the thief alert and cheerful. A moment later, Miranda came into the med bay and stopped next to her side of the bed. After checking the monitor readouts and scanning her, Miranda nodded to herself and unhooked the IV before holding a hand out to help Shepard out of the bed. Carefully sliding Garrus' arm aside, she took Miranda's hand and pulled herself upright. Relieved to see the room didn't spin, and holding her own head up didn't feel like a chore, she dropped her feet on the floor and stood. Miranda put a steadying hand on her arm and raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"It's not so bad, better than last time for sure." Shepard started moving forward, pleased to see walking wasn't too hard, either.

Her steps were steady enough Miranda let go of her arm, content to just walk alongside her as they made their way from the med bay and to the crew bathrooms. It thrilled Shepard to be able to actually close the stall door all the way behind her. "What can you tell me?" she asked, settling down on the toilet.

"About your condition?"

"My condition. Everyone's condition. The Normandy's condition." She waved her hand even though the other woman couldn't see her. "The mission, any of it."

"Very well. The sedation has significantly decreased your level of brain activity, but it is still abnormally high comparatively." Miranda hesitated as if considering her next words carefully. "I'm reviewing my Lazarus Project files, I might be able to make some adjustments to your implants to help. In the meantime, I support Dr. Chakwas' recommendations."

Shepard snorted lightly and shook her head as she stood, pulling her panties back up. She had a feeling by 'adjustments' to her implants, Miranda really meant 'additional' implants. "I've got a theory."

"Go on." Curiosity warred with amusement in the operative's voice.

"Whatever I did to the others when I woke up from the coma—and then again on a smaller scale while fighting Vasir—is causing the brain activity issue." She opened the door, moving past Miranda to the sink. "I have their memories now. I can access then just as easily as my own experiences—unfiltered through Jane—and I used biotic skills I haven't been trained for. If you think you can do something with that, an implant or whatever, do it. I need to be able to be on the field with my team." She glanced up, looking at Miranda in the mirror.

Miranda had her omni-tool open, taking notes while Shepard spoke. "You very well may be right, if your brain is attempting to accommodate new information from multiple sources …. I'll have to look into some things." She closed her omni-tool and met Shepard's gaze in the mirror, picking up where she left off on her debrief. "Everyone else is recovering from their injuries without complications. Garrus and Kasumi still require around the clock monitoring in the med bay, but I suspect Dr. Chakwas will release you today."

Shepard dried her hands and they left the restroom, heading back to the med bay.

"We are docked on Illium, and repairs to the Normandy are in progress. The Shadow Broker already made arrangements for our docking fees and repairs by the time we arrived. So, obviously, Grundan Krul has been able to successfully integrate himself into the new role—so far, at least. Resistance aboard the Broker's vessel was stronger than anticipated, clearly they expected an attack."

They stopped just outside the med bay door while Miranda finished.

"That being said, the mission was a success and we sustained no ground casualties. The drell you mentioned, Feron, was aboard the ship, but he claimed to have locked himself in a room and didn't engage in the fight when he learned who exactly was attacking." Putting one hand on her hip, she waved the other at nothing in particular. "I didn't have the opportunity to speak with him directly, I needed to tend to Garrus, but it is my understanding he's agreed to stay on and work with Grundan Krul." She started walking again, the med bay door sliding open for them.

"Shepard?" Garrus turned his head toward the noise, mandibles flared and voice dripping with worry.

"I'm here." Shepard kept moving, making her way back to the bed.

As soon as she stepped into his line of sight, he relaxed, following her movements with his gaze. "You look better."

She smiled at him, climbing back up on the bed next to him. "Mmm. You don't."

He chuffed, humor dancing in his eyes. She laid down on her back so she could see him while Miranda reestablished her IV.

"I'll have Gardner send someone in with something to eat for the both of you." Miranda took a step back when she finished with the IV. "Dr. Chakwas should be about done with her rounds, but if you need anything else, call me."

Shepard nodded. "Thanks, Miranda."

"Of course." She flashed Shepard a smile before turning, her boots clacking against the floor as she walked out of the med bay.

Shepard fixed her gaze on Garrus, taking in the dark burns edging his plates and sighed. "How are you feeling?"

He hummed and leaned over to kiss her before pressing his forehead against hers. "Better now that you're back." He draped his arm across her stomach, tucking his hand in around her waist.

She smiled, adjusting her IV line so she could reach across and run her fingertips over his mandible. "Miranda said she thinks the doc will let me out today, but I won't go far, I promise. Not while you're still in here. I'll stay right here with you, if you want."

Mandibles flaring, he lifted a brow plate. "If I'd known getting hurt myself was the answer to getting you to listen to the doctors—"

"Shush." She pushed her fingers to his mouth plates. "Don't you dare finish that sentence, Vakarian."

He chuffed, his breath rushing over her hand before he nipped at her fingertips. "I'm just saying I'm glad you're getting the rest you need."

"Uh huh," she said, rolling her eyes.

"How is …" He cleared his throat, his mandibles fluttering lightly before falling still. "How is Jane?"

Shepard arched an eyebrow, if he asked about Jane's well-being, maybe he was worse off than she realized. Or maybe, she thought, he hoped Jane was one of those she'd absorbed. "She's angry with me, but she's alright otherwise. Still there, if that's what you're asking."

"Is she, hmmm." He hesitated, his mandibles flaring before falling slack. "Is she willing to talk—to me?"

Shepard's eyebrows shot up higher, lips parting, but she found herself speechless.

" _Always."_ Jane sounded hesitant, yet hopeful, the anger seeping from her shifting to wistful longing.

"She says 'always.'" Shepard brushed her thumb over his mandible, offering him a soft smile before settling her hand down on her stomach.

He watched her for a moment, holding her gaze, seeming to be searching her eyes for something. Mandibles flaring again, he seemed to steel himself and cleared his throat. "I'm not sure about this Feron. I know everything is different this time, but he's still the same person, right? Do you trust him?"

" _Honestly, I never really knew him well enough to say I trust him, but for what it's worth, Liara did."_ Jane said, and Shepard gave herself over to playing mouthpiece. " _By the time I met him, he'd spent two years strapped into a torture chair, that'd change anyone. I doubt he's much like the Feron I knew at all, if he didn't have to endure the Broker's punishment."_

"Hmmm, but Liara knew him before the torture."

" _She hired him to help her find our body. When they found out the Shadow Broker planned to give us to the collectors, Feron confessed working for the Shadow Broker with orders to lead Liara away from us, but he had a change of heart and helped her instead. Which is why, when he got captured while covering Liara's escape with our body, the Shadow Broker decided to punish him."_ Jane hummed a little, and Shepard felt herself doing the same. " _Liara cared about him enough to devote herself to avenging—what she feared to be—his death. When she took over as the Shadow Broker, he stayed there with her for quite awhile before returning to the field as her agent."_

The med bay door hissed open, and Shepard glanced over Garrus' shoulder, spotting Kelly entering, carrying two trays. Garrus turned his head, and she caught a pained wince before he hid it, forcing his face still.

He turned back to her, his mandibles pulling in at the sides of his face. "We can talk more later."

" _Sure."_

Shepard pushed herself upright. "Do you want to sit up with pillows, or should I raise the bed? Which would be more comfortable?"

He hummed, brow plate twitching while he considered his options. "Raise the bed." He tried to roll over to his back, but froze, hissing, his eyes squeezed closed.

"Vega, give us a hand." Shepard all but barked at the marine.

James jumped to his feet, rushing around the bed to Garrus' side. "Woah, take it easy, Plates. I got you."

Garrus chuffed before heaving a heavy sigh of resignation, letting James shift him over to his back, but still he hissed and groaned. "You've got to come up with a better name for me than 'Plates.'"

James grinned. "I can always call you Scars."

Shepard chuckled before whispering just loud enough for the two men to hear, "It's what you've always called him before."

"Yeah?" James raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I'll tell you about it another time," she said, nodding a little towards the waiting yeoman a few feet away. "Raise the bed up for us?"

"You got it, Ídolo." James moved back to her side of the bed and pushed the button on the railing.

She tried to help steady Garrus as the top of the bed shifted up, clenching her jaw when his mandibles snapped tight against the sides of his face. His eyes widened, and he held his breath until the movement stopped again, letting it back out in a slow, deflated groan.

She frowned at him. "You should've asked Miranda to give you more painkillers."

He glanced at her before adjusting the blankets over his lap. "I'm fine."

"No you're not." She shook her head.

"No," he said, his mandibles fluttering, "I'm not. But I'm tired of sleeping, and I can't eat if I'm asleep."

Kelly sat the trays down on Dr. Chakwas' desk before pulling the rolling tables over in front of the two of them. "The Illusive Man is asking to speak with you, but I informed him you're on bedrest." She turned back to the desk, but James already picked the trays up for her, carrying them over. Kelly lifted the lid on one before pointing to Shepard's table, and took the other one from him to set down in front of Garrus. "I'm told the repairs on the Normandy will be done by tomorrow evening, at the latest."

"Thanks, Kelly." Shepard offered her a warm smile, noting the hint of sadness in Kelly's tone. "How are you holding up?"

Kelly gave her a gloomy smile and lifted her shoulders. "Grief is a tricky thing, Commander. The loss of two of our crew has left me feeling vulnerable, and at an emotional loss. I know what I'm feeling is perfectly normal, though, and in time, it'll ease." Her eyebrows shot up a little and she held out a hand. "Still, I am perfectly capable of performing my duties, and you shouldn't hesitate at all if you need to talk to me about anything."

Shepard fought back a chuckle, amused by the yeoman's eagerness to put everyone else before herself, and nodded. "I'll keep that in mind."

Kelly seemed to relax a little. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Shaking her head, Shepard said, "I don't think so, not right now at least. Thanks for the update."

"It's my pleasure. I'll leave you two to eat." Kelly turned and made her way to the door, stopping to look back over her shoulder. "If you need anything, just have EDI let me know." She left when Shepard nodded.

Dr. Chakwas returned a while later, nodding her approval when she saw Garrus and Shepard eating. When they were done, James cleared their trays for them, returning a moment later to sit back down by the sleeping, wounded woman he was so clearly falling in love with. Dr. Chakwas pushed away from her desk and came over to Shepard and Garrus' shared bed, moving from one side to the other as she looked over the monitors' readouts and scanned them both. Relief washed over Shepard when Garrus didn't refuse the painkillers the doctor offered him, and she watched his eyes glass over as they hit his system.

"I suppose you're going to insist you've spent long enough in bed?" Dr. Chakwas arched an eyebrow at Shepard.

Shepard settled back into her pillows next to Garrus. "Nope."

"No?" Dr. Chakwas raised an eyebrow, doubt crystal clear in her eyes.

"I'm staying right here with him, doc." Careful so as not to hurt him, Shepard lifted Garrus' hand in her own. "So if you think you need to pump more sedatives in me, go right on ahead."


	73. Chapter 50: Just Cruel

**Chapter 50: Just Cruel**

Shepard awoke to Miranda sitting across from her, one knee draped over the other, arms firmly crossed in front of her chest, staring at Shepard as if she were insulted the commander dared to be asleep.

"Well, that's not creepy." Shepard yawned, picking up Garrus' hand slung over her waist and carefully moving it aside so she wouldn't wake him. Sitting up, she stretched a little, testing the level of achy weakness remaining in her limbs, pleased to see much of it subsided. "What can I do for you, Miranda?"

"Mordin threatened to tranquilize me if I woke you up, despite the fact Dr. Chakwas officially released you from the med bay _and_ I'm the XO of this ship." She tossed a glance over her shoulder at the offending salarian seated at Dr. Chakwas' desk. "I've been sitting here for the last hour waiting for you to wake up so I wouldn't miss you again. I have something important to discuss with you."

"Alright. Give me thirty minutes and I'll meet you in your quarters, unless you want to talk while I shower and eat?" Shepard smirked, expecting the operative to balk at the suggestion.

Instead, Miranda pursed her lips and seemed to consider the option. "Actually, it might not be a bad idea. You've been in bed for a couple of days, and you weren't moving very well on your own the last time you woke up."

"You're serious? You want to watch me shower?" Shepard opted for playful, taking a note out of James' playbook and waggling her eyebrows at the other woman. Thinking of the marine made her glance across the room to where she last saw him, but he was absent for the time being, his chair beside Kasumi's bed empty.

Miranda scoffed and waved a hand, standing up and pushing the chair back against the wall. "Please, Commander, I've already seen every inch of your body—inside and out."

Shepard shrugged, honestly not caring one way or the other, and slid off the bed. Miranda reached out, slipping a hand under Shepard's elbow to steady her. With her feet planted on the floor, she took a moment to evaluate her strength. Her knees felt steady, and she felt fairly certain she'd manage going up to her cabin to shower and change on her own, but she admitted she still felt weak enough for it to probably be a good idea Miranda wanted to accompany her—though she wasn't about to tell the operative so.

Nodding, she plastered a confident smile on her face. "I'm good." To prove it to herself as much as to Miranda, she tugged her arm free and crossed the floor to stand next to Mordin. Resting her hand on the salarian's shoulder, she jerked her head back towards the bed when he looked up at her. "If he wakes up while I'm gone, tell him I'll be back right back?"

"Unlikely to wake up anytime soon, but will relay message." Mordin nodded, turning his attention back to the datapad in his hand.

"Thanks, Mordin." She turned, meeting Miranda's gaze and headed for the door, her pace slow, but steady; the clacking of Miranda's heeled boots followed close behind. "I'm going to grab a protein bar to eat on the way up so my stomach doesn't get pissy while I'm in the shower. I'll eat something more after."

"Don't be surprised if the protein bar is all you can handle for the time being." Miranda stayed close by, shadowing Shepard as they made their way over to the mess counter.

Shepard waited until they stood in the elevator, her partial-breakfast unwrapped and half-eaten, before she met Miranda's gaze again and asked, "So, what's up?"

Leaning against the wall, still within easy reach, Miranda crossed her arms again. "I've created schematics for a new implant I believe will help to regulate the issues with your brain activity as well as …."

"As well as what?" Shepard asked, mumbling around a full mouth.

Miranda shifted her weight, standing up straighter, as if her entire body suddenly decided she'd just walked into a minefield, and she needed to watch her step. "As well as—I believe—help prevent Jane from seizing control."

Shepard's face froze, a million thoughts vying for her attention all at once. She felt Jane snap to attention in the back of her mind, a heavy sense of dread and hurt seeping through their connection. Was it even something she really wanted? Things had been going fairly well with Jane since the coma, and, heaven forbid, what if something happened where she _needed_ Jane to take over again? The elevator slid open, and Shepard stepped out, still having not given Miranda any sort of response.

" _You can't agree to this."_ Jane's pleading voice took on a manic tone. " _Please don't do this to me. Don't cut out the only way I have to help you when things go to shit, Dawn. Don't force me to sit here helplessly while you die in the middle of a battle."_

"Shepard?" Miranda's tone sounded cold and sharp with an edge of wariness.

"I'm—what if I'm not sure I want that?" Shepard stopped in the doorway to her cabin, turning to look at Miranda. "I mean … is there … I don't know, a way to set certain parameters for it? Maybe add an off switch?" She polished off her protein bar while Miranda watched her, eyebrow raised.

" _Oh, gods, you're going to go through with this, aren't you?"_ Jane shifted around, her growing ire making Shepard want to squirm; an itch she couldn't reach to scratch. " _What if it blocks me out completely? I won't even be able to talk to you."_

Shepard thought, "I'm trying to find a compromise, and I don't think Miranda wants me to lose communication with you. If nothing else, you're a valuable asset in her eyes."

"An off switch? Seriously, Shepard?" Miranda shook her head, dismay tugging at the corners of her eyes. "I thought you'd leap at the chance to prevent further incidences with Jane?"

Shrugging, Shepard tossed the wrapper in the trash can next to her desk and headed for the bathroom. "Well, yeah, I don't like the idea of her seizing control against my will just whenever the mood strikes, but there's been times when her taking over saved my life." She turned on the shower before giving her attention back to Miranda. Pulling her hospital gown over her head, she said, "There may be times when I need her to take over, whether it's because I'm getting knocked unconscious, or I just need her to handle a situation she's more skilled at dealing with or something."

Miranda pursed her lips, seeming to consider this as she opened her omni-tool. Shepard didn't comment when the operative began scanning, she'd grown all too entirely use to the trio of 'doctors' invading her personal space whenever they got a wild hair up their asses. She finished undressing before holding her arms out to the sides, letting Miranda wrap up her scans. Shepard stuck her hand under the shower spray to test the temperature, turning the hot water up just a little higher before stepping inside the stall.

"I suppose you have a point." Miranda raised her voice to be heard over the water, and when Shepard glanced through the glass, she saw the other woman had turned to rest her hip against the edge of the sink, still working at her omni-tool. "I'll see what adjustments I can make to the schematics, but I'm afraid we'll need to return to the Lazarus Project lab in order for me to gather the necessary components. Which means …."

" _No! I don't want to go back there."_ The emotions pouring off of Jane tilted more and more toward crazed panic. " _If we go back there, there's no way I'm going to be able to stay calm, and that's what you want, right? To keep me calm? That lab is where it all happened …."_

"Jane," Shepard thought, doing her best to give her words a soothing quality, "you've faced far worse in your life, and lived through it all again and again. Yes, the Lazarus Project sucked, a complete hell for you, but you're stronger than this. If I don't let Miranda help me, with what Dr. Chakwas said, I'm not going to make it to the end of this war. Hell, I might not make it to the collector base."

"Which means you'll need to talk to the Illusive Man first?" She asked, squeezing shampoo out into her hand before working it through her hair.

"Exactly."

"Well, he hasn't cut us off yet, and he still thinks he has the upperhand with me, so I don't think he'll tell you no." Shepard tilted her head back, rinsing her hair, the scent of the olive oil shampoo surrounding her, heavy in the steam. "You're still sending him reports, right?"

" _Okay … fair enough, but what's happening to you now isn't about something I've done. It's not about me taking over. It's about you vampiring up the others."_

Jane wasn't wrong, and Shepard knew it, but the thought of being forced inside with all of those heart-wrenching wails of agony and the insane chattering of the others made her blood run ice cold in her veins. If there was something Miranda could do to make sure it didn't happen at Jane's whim … well, she didn't feel inclined to tell the operative 'no'.

"Yes, but only the most basic reports. Which, of course, he isn't pleased with." After a moment, Miranda added, "I'm more concerned he'll want to know exactly what the new implants are for and possibly want to view the schematics himself before signing off on them."

Shepard took a deep breath, picking up the bottle of conditioner. "Well, he already knows about Jane. Whether or not he fully believes she exists, he received reports on her before I gave the order to unshackle EDI."

"If I admit these implants have anything to do with Jane, it will be as good as confirming her existence for him." The soft sound of Miranda's snort barely reached Shepard's ears. "God knows he'll want me to fully study Jane and decide what usefulness she can provide humanity. I don't want to think about what experiments or procedures he might ask me to perform."

" _No. No, no, no. No more cutting and scraping. Oh, gods, the drilling and … no! You know what he'll do with us? He's going to turn us into a monster; strap us down someplace where we'll be indoctrinated while he rips out all of our organs and replaces them with reaper tech."_

Shepard put her hands against the shower wall to brace herself, the flood of emotions coming from Jane and the others nearly enough to knock her off her feet in her already weakened state. She started taking deep, steady breaths, forcing herself to focus on the meditation exercises Thane taught her. Acknowledge and let go. Acknowledge and let go. Acknowle—Miranda ripped the shower door opened so fast, it slammed into the wall half a second before a foul smell assaulted Shepard's nostrils. Coughing, she turned her head away from the odor, gasping for a breath of clean air, but the smell followed her.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking." Miranda's voice drifted on the edges of Shepard's consciousness. "That was foolish of me." She pressed a cool hand between Shepard's shoulder blades.

"Brainwave activity has stabilized." EDI's voice filled the bathroom.

"It's not going to matter soon, Miranda." Shepard nudged away the vial of smelling salts, turning her head to meet Miranda's gaze. "He'll be gone, and you'll be leading Cerberus. Unless you've changed your mind?"

"No, I'm committed to this course of action." The operative's brow creased, and she gave a decisive shake of her head. "I'm not entirely sure it's going to work the way we hope it will, but I'm determined to try. After everything I've seen so far, and everything you've told me is to come … how can I not?"

Shepard let the silence linger between them for a couple of seconds before nodding and waving the other woman away, reaching for the door to the shower stall to pull it closed behind her. As she rinsed the conditioner from her hair, she whispered an apology to Jane. What else could she really do? Jane didn't respond, devolving into a thick, nasty cloud of snarling fear and anger in the back of Shepard's mind.

Grabbing her washcloth, she squirted body wash on it and worked it into a lather. "So, assuming it all works out and we get the components you need, how long will it take you to put it all together?" She started with her face, squeezing her eyes closed as she scrubbed her skin clean.

"No more than a couple of days with Mordin's assistance, and then it should only take a few hours at most to perform the procedures and run the necessary tests to ensure they're working. It'll require you to spend—at the very least—twenty-four hours in the med bay to recover. I say 'at least', because I know you won't abide by the preferred forty-eight."

Shepard snorted, moving on to wash and rinse the rest of herself before turning off the shower. "Alright. If you can get permission, we'll head to the Lazarus station after we head back to the Shadow Broker's ship. I want to touch base with Grundan Krul, and speak with Feron myself." She opened the shower door, grabbing a towel and rubbing it over her head before wrapping it around herself and stepping out onto the mat. "How are the repairs coming on the Normandy?"

"We should be cleared for takeoff within two hours." Miranda's gaze swept over Shepard as she finished toweling herself dry. "I'm sorry, but I need to scan you again. How are you feeling?" Miranda opened her omni-tool without waiting for a response.

"Not horrible." Once the scan finished, she hung her towel up on the rack and slipped on her robe, moving to the sink to brush her teeth and hair.

Miranda scoffed, meeting Shepard's gaze in the foggy mirror and cocked an eyebrow.

"I'm not in any pain, but I do still feel a little worn out." Shepard jerked her shoulders in a quick shrug. "It's not too bad, though. I can march into battle if I need to, that's all that matters."

"Hardly." Miranda all but rolled her eyes. "Being able to march into battle and _survive_ is what matters, Shepard. You're not _just_ a marine, regardless of how you view yourself. It's not enough for you to fight in this war, the galaxy needs you to _win_ this war."

Shepard held Miranda's gaze in the reflection for a minute. "I know. Trust me, gods do I know."

Miranda frowned and lowered her gaze. She didn't say anything else until Shepard finished in the bathroom and moved into her cabin to get dressed. "I'm sorry about Anderson, and I'm sorry the Council is full of idiots."

Shepard laughed, a sudden bark of a sound cutting off just as quickly as it started. "Yeah. Well, at least this time they're willing to admit—even if only informally—the reapers are real." She snapped her bra into place and stepped into a pair of panties, pulling them up over her hips. "I don't know what's going to happen to Anderson." She swallowed against the knot forming in her throat and took in a slow, deep breath to fight back the sting of tears biting at her eyes.

Sliding her shirt down over her head, she stuck her arms through the sleeves and tugged it down into place before pulling on her pants. "I can't let him stay on the Citadel forever, though." She picked up her socks and grabbed her boots before sitting on the edge of the bed. "Near the end of the war, the reapers hit the Citadel hard, killing everyone on the station and moving it to Earth space." She pulled on her socks and slipped her feet into her boots, bending over to tie the laces even as she looked up to meet Miranda's gaze. "That might happen even sooner now, if they know the Alliance has already located the plans for the Crucible and begun construction."

"Are you proposing we break the councilor out of prison?" The hint of a smile toyed with Miranda's mouth, one of her perfect eyebrows arching up toward her hairline.

Shepard smirked but didn't answer, standing up and making her way back to the bathroom instead. She hung up her robe before gathering her towel and the hospital gown, stuffing them through the laundry chute before making her way to the cabin door.

Miranda followed her out and into the elevator, crossing her arms over her chest. "Maybe now Grundan Krul has taken over being the Shadow Broker he can find a way to get Anderson released."

Shepard lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug and nodded. "It's worth a try."

Thane waited just outside the elevator on the third deck, his hands tucked behind his back, lips spread in a soft smile. Shepard lit up when she saw him, stepping off the elevator and into his arms. Wrapping her hands around his neck, she noticed Miranda wordlessly slinking off, apparently content to leave Shepard under Thane's watchful gaze.

She kissed him, soaking in the feel of his hands on her hips. "Hey, you. I hear I have you to thank for dragging the ground teams back to the Normandy. My hero."

He chuckled, a light raspy sound, making the fine hairs on the back of her neck stand on end in the most pleasant way. "Things were already wrapping up by the time we boarded the ship, really, it was little more than a matter of finding the teams and helping the wounded back to the shuttles." His hands slid around to the small of her back, easing her in a little closer to him. "How are you, siha? I came to sit with you, but each time you were sleeping."

"I'm feeling worn down, but better than I did the first time I woke up. Miranda just told me she's been working on schematics for more implants she thinks will help." She leaned her forehead against his and whispered, "Thank you for bringing Garrus back to me."

He lifted a hand up to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing over her face. "How is he? I asked Dr. Chakwas, but she won't tell me anything. When I found them, Miranda was working to restart his heart."

She took in a long, steadying breath. "Not good. The doctor thinks he'll recover, but he may have some permanent neurological damage. Last I talked to her, she said it's still too soon to tell."

"Garrus is strong," Thane said, shifting to brush his lips across her forehead, "if there's even a chance he'll recover completely, I have faith he will."

Shepard pulled back to smile at him and kissed him again. "Thank you. I hope you're right. We've got a long, ugly road ahead of us, and I need him at my six."

He smiled at her, the same smile she remembered her father giving her once upon a time when she was being stubborn and foolish. "And, you love him. It pains you to see him suffering, and it'd tear you apart to lose him."

Tears welled up in her eyes and she blinked, doing her best to push them away. She didn't trust her voice not to crack, so she didn't speak, only nodding. He pulled her against his chest, his arms wrapping around her entirely, and she hid her face in the crook of his neck. A few moments, several shuddering breaths, and a handful of rogue tears later, she pulled back and wiped her eyes dry.

"Have you eaten?" His hand rubbed idle circles against her back.

"Just a protein bar on my way up to the cabin to get cleaned up." She sniffed, pulling in a calming breath. "I'll grab another one on my way back to the med bay, I don't want him to wake up while I'm gone."

"Go, sit with him." Thane tilted his head toward the med bay. "I'll bring you something to eat."

She nodded again and stepped back from him, letting her hands drag down his arms in her retreat, squeezing his fingers before she pulled away completely. She made her way back to the med bay, tension in her chest loosening the moment she laid eyes on the still-sleeping turian. In her absence, Dr. Chakwas replaced Mordin, and James returned, sitting once again at Kasumi's side. Dr. Chakwas smiled at her but didn't speak right away.

Shepard stopped next to the bed, hovering over Garrus for a moment. The way he lay left his neck and lower arm exposed, giving her a clear view of the lightning bolt shaped scars tracing over the exposed hide along his throat, the crease of his elbow, and down lower along his wrist and fingers. The scars, and the burns along the edges of his plates weren't as inflamed and faded from a dark, almost black shade of blue to a lighter, bruise-like hue. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully, his breathing strong and steady through his faint snore.

"Commander?" Dr. Chakwas called out to her, barely above a whisper, and waved Shepard over when she glanced up.

Shepard crossed the floor to lean her hip against the doctor's desk. She'd already begun feeling fatigued, body urging her to crawl back into bed next to Garrus, but she wasn't quite ready to lay down again.

Dr. Chakwas pushed away from the desk, turning her chair a little toward Shepard before leaning back. Keeping her voice low, she said, "Miranda sent me the scans she took before and after your shower. I'm very pleased to see the activity has decreased significantly, even under the duress Miranda said she caused, compared to when you first collapsed. How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm already tired of people asking me how I'm feeling." Shepard lifted a corner of her mouth, taking the bite out of her sarcasm.

Dr. Chakwas snorted and gave her a catty look, one only the doctor could get away with. "Well, perhaps you should hang a sign around your neck." The corners around her eyes softened and she studied Shepard for a moment. "You seem to be moving much better. Are you experiencing any pain or muscle weakness?"

"I'm not in any pain, but yeah, I still feel a little weak—and beyond all reason—tired." Shepard shook her head and sighed.

Dr. Chakwas nodded, seeming to accept Shepard's symptoms as par for the course. "Has Miranda spoken to you yet about the schematics she's working on?"

"Yeah, we just had that discussion." Shepard raked her fingers through her wet hair, swallowing back her fear of the whole thing causing Jane to regress. "She's going to make some adjustments and contact the Illusive Man to see if he'll sign off on her getting what she needs from the Lazarus lab."

"Good." Dr. Chakwas smiled and reached out, resting her hand on Shepard's forearm. "I'm glad to hear you're willing to work with her. I was afraid you might refuse after everything Jane experienced during the Lazarus Project. I hate to admit it, but Miranda can do far more for you than I can." She squeezed Shepard's arm before letting go. "Jane, how are you feeling about this development?"

" _It doesn't really matter, does it? It's Dawn's body, and she's going to do whatever she wants with it, regardless of how I feel."_ Jane said, and Shepard repeated it for the doctor.

The med bay door opened and Thane stepped inside, carrying a covered tray. Shepard forced a smile on her face and held up a finger. He dipped his head to her, carrying the tray over to the bedside table, turning his back on her and the doctor; though Shepard knew he still heard them just fine.

Dr. Chakwas frowned, wise eyes studying Shepard. "I think it does matter. You might not be given the option of vetoing Dawn's choices, but I think your opinion is something we all wish to consider."

" _Alright. My opinion is: going back to the Lazarus lab is unnecessary and guaranteed to put a serious strain on me when I'm already struggling like hell to keep it together."_ Jane geared up for a lengthy speech, and Shepard resigned herself to the task of acting as, what she liked to call 'Speaker for the Voices in My Head'. " _I'm sure Miranda can find what she needs somewhere else, and she can find a way to do it without involving the Illusive Man, who, as she just so eloquently pointed out, will want to know what they're for—which will lead to him wanting to carve us up to see what makes us tick."_

Shepard fought off a shudder, as she continued to give voice to Jane's words. " _Even if Dawn is right and it won't matter much longer because he'll be out of the picture, we don't know what other power players there are in Cerberus, and what information they might glean about us before the Illusive Man is removed. It's dangerous. It's already dangerous he knows I exist, but at least his information is limited enough to leave room for speculation and doubt."_

Jane paused, seeming to gather her thoughts and reign in her thundercloud of emotions, carefully walling them away before she spoke again. " _I get we need something to keep Dawn's brain from burning out now that she's merged with some of the others or whatever, but … adding in something to cage me further is just cruel and proves nothing I do to try to make up for my past behavior will ever matter, and I'll never be able to win anyone's trust. Not really."_

"I don't think your concerns about dealing with the Illusive Man or returning to the Lazarus lab are unwarranted." Dr. Chakwas took a deep breath, her shoulders pulling back as she nodded. "I'll speak with Miranda. Perhaps we can find a way around those two obstacles."

"I asked Miranda to add some way of still allowing Jane to take control under certain conditions, like when the blast knocked me out, or if I decide I need her to for some reason." Shepard shrugged. "I hoped Jane might see it as a compromise, and I think it's a rational decision, considering where I'd be if Jane hadn't kept my body going while I was comatose."

"I agree, Commander." Dr. Chakwas nodded. "And I'd like you to give some thought to the possibility of allowing Jane to come out—under controlled conditions—for short periods of time on a regular basis." She held up a hand when Shepard's jaw dropped. "I understand it forces you to endure a frightening, hostile environment while she's in control, but I'm not talking about days at a time. An hour or two, perhaps, once or twice a week. Consider it a pressure valve for Jane, something to help keep her level-headed and in control of herself. I think you'll find it'll benefit the both of you."

Hope and longing, so blindingly acute it hurt, flooded Shepard through the link she shared with Jane. The voice in her head didn't speak, though, her thoughts on the matter were more than clear. It was as if Jane held her breath, afraid to say anything at all, while Shepard weighed the doctor's words. It made sense, sure, Shepard saw that, but her skin crawled with just the phantom of the memory of those voices in the dark, desperate place hidden away in her mind.

She licked her lips, feeling as if she balanced on the precipice of a cliff. Jutting out over a canyon. Or running lava. Maybe a canyon filled with lava. "I—I'll give it some thought."

"That's all I ask." Dr. Chakwas smiled, glancing over her shoulder at Thane waiting patiently next to the tray. "Why don't you go ahead and eat, you need to build up your strength."

Shepard sucked in a deep breath and nodded. "I wanted to check in with Kasumi before I eat. After breakfast, I think I'm going to lay back down."

"Sounds good, Commander." Dr. Chakwas turned to her desk, resuming her work.

Shepard made her way over to the side of Kasumi's bed, doing her best to shove away the daunting ideas the doctor proposed, wanting to examine them at a later time; alone. She felt immense gratitude Jane remained silent on the topic, she didn't think she could deal with anything else just then. Stopping a couple of feet from James' chair. The marine flashed her a smile before turning his attention back to the woman laid out on the bed. Kasumi started to push herself up, but both James and Shepard urged her back down when she winced and groaned.

"Take it easy, lady. You've got one hell of a gut wound, and your leg's tore up pretty bad, too. You don't need to be trying to sit up just to talk to me." Shepard dropped her hand to Kasumi's knee when the thief nodded and settled back against her pillows. "You're looking a lot better, though. Not like you're knocking on Death's door." She shook her head. "You scared the shit out of me."

"You and me both, Commander." James glanced up at her again, and she swore he looked five years older than he did when she sent him down with Garrus and the others to take out the Shadow Broker.

"Dr. Chakwas said I'm not going to be able to join in on any missions for several weeks." Kasumi's lips pressed together in a tight line.

Shepard shrugged, brushing aside the statement. "Don't worry about it. You just worry about healing, alright?"

Kasumi's mouth relaxed a little and she nodded. "She also said she's taking the catheter out tomorrow and I'll have to start walking to the bathroom." Her upper lip twitched up beneath her nose, and her brow furrowed. "I'm starting to understand why you complain so much when you're in here."

Shepard heard a soft snort and barely suppressed chuckle coming from Dr. Chakwas' direction, but ignored it, instead focusing her smile on Kasumi. "She's a tyrant." She squeezed Kasumi's knee and patted James on the shoulder. "I've got to sit back down." They both nodded to her and she took a couple of steps away before turning back around to look at Kasumi, her dark hair framing her face, exposed, brown eyes sparkling in the light. "Hey Kasumi?" She waited for the other woman to look at her before grinning. "You're really pretty when you're not hiding under your hood."

Kasumi smiled, giving Shepard a flippant wave of her hand. "Yeah, but where's the mystique?"

Shepard chuckled and made her way back over to the bed she'd been sharing with Garrus. The turian still slept, though his breaths came a little lighter, and every so often he rumbled deep in his chest. She thought it must mean his painkillers were wearing off, but she knew Dr. Chakwas would be keeping an eye on when he could have another dose. Thane had taken up a chair next to her side of the bed.

She eased herself up on the edge of the bed, trying like hell to not wake Garrus. Thane stood and slid the table closer to her before tucking his hands behind his back, staying within easy whispering distance. She eyed the tray, noting he'd opted to bring her tea, fresh fruit, and what looked like cheese—no doubt both the fruit and cheese were recently acquired on Illium. She was glad to see Miranda thought to have the ship restocked while it underwent repairs.

Shepard ate maybe a quarter of what Thane brought her before letting go of a heavy sigh. "I'm not going to be able to finish all of this." She pouted her lips. "Normally, I'd eat this, the protein bar, and still have room for half a potroast. Thank whatever gods I don't need to use my biotics anytime real soon." She grinned when her theatrics earned her a light chuckle. After eating a few more bites, she nudged the tray a little closer to him. "You want this?"

He dipped his head, picking up her fork and spearing a piece of fruit. "You seem to be recovering well, perhaps your appetite will return soon, too."

Garrus groaned behind her, and Shepard twisted to look over her shoulder at him. His eyelids fluttered open, his gaze drifting until it locked on to hers. Clamping his jaw down on another groan, his mandibles pulled in tight. He shifted a little, moving off his side and more onto his back, working his arm out from under him to reach over and wrap his hand around her hip.

She smiled at him, turning a little more to lift a leg up on the mattress. "Hey, want me to call over Dr. Chakwas? Or throw food at her head?"

"I heard that." The sound of the doctor's chair sliding away from her desk accompanied her motherly retort.

Garrus chuffed, his mandibles flaring before snapping back down against his face. He brushed aside her questions, though, and asked his own, "You're still here?"

"Of course I am." She wrapped her fingers around his, holding them loosely in her hand before shrugging. "Well, I left to take a shower and put on some real clothes, but then I came right back."

"Good, you were starting to smell." His mandibles fluttered, but the spark of humor died in his eyes almost as soon as it flared to life.

She scoffed but smirked. Her attention turned to Dr. Chakwas as she appeared next to Garrus, omni-tool open and scanning. Scrutinizing the doctor's every expression, Shepard let a sigh of relief seep out of her, echoing what she saw in Dr. Chakwas' eyes. Garrus would pull through.

Dr. Chakwas smiled down at the turian before glancing up, gaze going straight to Thane. "Do you mind giving us a hand getting him to the restroom. I need to see how he walks, and be sure his kidneys are processing as they should."

"Of course." Thane set the fork down along the edge of the plate and started to move around the table.

"Hey, I got him, doc. I need to stretch my legs anyway," James said, drawing everyone's attention to him and stopping Thane in his tracks. Standing and making his way over, he looked at Thane before jerking his head toward Shepard. "Stay with her, she's starting to look like she might fall over again."

She narrowed her eyes to glare at James. "I do not."

He just chuckled, but a moment later Dr. Chakwas stepped around the bed to scan Shepard. She gave the doctor a trill of frustration and rolled her eyes, but let her get on with her scans.

Dr. Chakwas pursed her lips and closed her omni-tool. "Your activity levels are holding, for now. Still, lying down and resting isn't a bad idea. Especially if you intend to spend all of your time in here while Garrus sleeps anyway."

Shepard grunted noncommittally, already planning to lay back down and having already said as much to the doctor, but not wanting to make her job too easy. Dr. Chakwas cocked an eyebrow, but moved back over to unhook Garrus from all of the machines and help James get him on his feet. The doctor held back a couple of steps, watching Garrus' gait as he walked, and Shepard wondered if it didn't seem like he was listing to the side just a little.

Turning back to Thane, she caught him watching Garrus, too, his lips tugging down ever so slightly at the corners. After a moment, he returned his attention to her and his lips shifted upward as he picked up the fork again. Wrapping her palms around the cooling mug of tea, she lifted it to her mouth, breathing in the light, fruity scent before taking a swallow. She must've looked more exhausted than she realized, though, because a moment later he moved around the table to work the cup free from her hand and set it on the tray.

With gentle fingers, he coaxed her to lie back on the bed before pulling her boots from her feet, tucking them under the edge of the bed. He tugged the blankets up over her before perching next to her hip. Brushing still-damp hair out of her face, he leaned down. Her eyes fluttered closed when he kissed her, but when his lips disappeared, her eyes refused to open again.


	74. Chapter 51: Running Out of Time

**Chapter 51: Running Out of Time**

Shepard stepped out of the shuttle, Thane at her right and Miranda at her left. Behind her, Legion and Lia waited for her to move forward. They'd brought the shuttle in as close to the entrance as possible, but they still had a bit of a hike ahead of them to reach the new Broker's offices, and Shepard wasn't looking forward to it at all. Still, she kept her face neutral and did her best to hold her head high and keep her shoulders back. Everyone on her team knew she'd taken a blow, though they didn't all understand exactly what was wrong with her, they all watched her with wary eyes.

She just wanted to get in, check on things, and get out. Torn between duty and Garrus, who remained in the Normandy's med bay, she sucked it up and started walking. A handful of guards, those lucky enough or smart enough to avoid her ground teams during the coup, swore themselves to Grundan Krul once the former Shadow Broker fell. If the change in regime bothered them, they didn't let it show in the slightest, nodding their heads at Shepard when her team finally approached the doors.

Fighting to keep her breathing steady, armor feeling as if it weighed three times more than usual, she made her way into the ship. Thane offered her his arm, making it seem like nothing more than her lover wanting to escort her, but she thought it probably had more to do with strain showing through on her face. She smiled at him, feeling grateful for the subtle offer of support, and looped her arm through his, letting him take a little of her weight. It would've been nice to leave her armor behind, but with things still settling into place for Grundan Krul, and with so many armed guards left over from the yahg's rule as Shadow Broker, she didn't dare extend that trust just yet.

Grundan Krul appeared on the security vid screen just outside the door. The faint smile on the, normally expressionless, batarian's face spoke volumes. "Shepard. Glad to see you're back on your feet. Come inside."

Flashing a smile at the screen, she nodded, stepping through the door when it slid open. She stopped, taking a minute to glance around the room, finding the room looking exactly as it did in the memories skittering through her brain—everything except the fact Grundan Krul stood at the far terminal instead of Liara. The door at the back of the room opened, and Feron walked out, gaze on a datapad in his hand. He glanced up, stopping in his tracks when he saw Shepard. After a tense moment, his gaze shifted to Grundan Krul, and he started walking again, making his way down the stairs and over to the batarian.

" _What was that?"_ Jane asked, wariness creeping in around the edges of Shepard's consciousness.

"I'm not sure," Shepard thought, "let's find out."

Shepard started walking again, crossing the floor with her team to stand in front of Grundan Krul and Feron. Reaching out, she offered her hand to the new Shadow Broker, grinning when he accepted the gesture, taking her hand in his own to shake. "What have you learned?"

"I have a terminal over here set up for you with various reports," he said, turning to point at a console in the corner. "Information on the collectors, the Council, The Dissension … everything I thought you might be interested in that I've come across so far."

Jane let out a wistful sigh in the back of Shepard's head. " _Well, he definitely works fast. Not Liara, but still …."_

"Fantastic." Shepard gave him a quick nod, gaze shifting to the drell next to him and then back. "Any trouble settling in?"

Grundan Krul caught Feron's gaze and jerked his head toward the back of the room. Feron dipped his head, handing the datapad to his boss, and then he smiled politely at Shepard and the others before turning and walking away. They watched him until he disappeared back through the door he came in from.

Grundan Krul turned his attention back to Shepard and gave her a slight nod. "There hasn't been any problems. These people don't care who pays them, just so long as they're getting paid."

"Are you sure?" She arched an eyebrow. "Everyone else was loyal enough to die defending the old Broker and his ship."

"If they didn't, and we lost the fight, they'd be killed anyway—or tortured." He shrugged, just a brief upward twitch of his shoulder.

She sucked in a big breath and nodded. "Fair enough. So, Miranda suggested I should probably see if there's something you can do with your magic network to get Anderson released," she said and then smirked, "before I plan a jailbreak."

He jerked his head toward the terminal he pointed out a moment before. Raising an eyebrow, she glanced over her shoulder before making her way over to the terminal. As she walked away, she overheard Miranda asking him if he could acquire the items on her list.

Shepard activated the console and clicked on the first folder labeled 'The Council'. Skimming through the first file, her jaw dropped as she realized what exactly she was looking at. The horde of Shepards buzzed in the back of her head, making her jittery with excitement and anticipation. The Shadow Broker possessed a transcribed audio recording from the Council Chambers; mundane conversation at first—discussions of the active businesses on the Citadel—but then … then they began discussing the reapers.

Dear gods, Grundan Krul found her evidence the Council fully believed Sovereign wasn't a geth construct, but an ancient AI not only responsible for the downfall of the protheans but also intent on destroying organics for the next harvest. They debated the likelihood of their being other reapers, and if there were other reapers, whether or not they actually intended to attack the Milky Way, but clearly they believed Sovereign was one. The icing on the cake: they discussed their willful and intentional plans to hide the truth from everyone else.

With just the one recording, she could blackmail the Council into releasing Anderson if she decided to. She might even be able to work it so they dropped her charges, too. She'd be on their permanent shit-list, though, no matter what, and who knew what they might do in retaliation? Hell, it might even make matters worse, if it made them suspicious enough to start trying to connect the Shadow Broker to Shepard, and they succeeded, it might jeopardize the war efforts.

" _So we leave the charges against you out of this. They're irrelevant right now, we need to focus on defeating the collectors."_ Jane's tone took on an almost reassuring tint. " _We'll deal with the charges later, just like every other time. And just like every other time, when the reapers show up, they'll come to us for help."_

"With everything going awry on the Citadel over Anderson and the mess with The Dissension, it's feasible the Shadow Broker would want Anderson released without it having anything to do with me," Shepard whispered, half to herself and half to Jane.

" _Exactly,"_ Jane said. " _It'll just be seen as a political maneuver, not even really about Anderson, but humanity's representative on the Council."_

Shepard opened the next file; another recording from the Council discussing Shepard's request to have the Council shut down the Alpha Relay and their decision to oblige her. The next file held images of Tevos meeting with Shepard and Samara along with a transcript of the conversation that took place during the visit, including once again, a confession that Sovereign was a reaper and the Council concealed the truth.

She stopped reading, she'd seen all she needed to see for the time being. The rest she'd have him forward to her, where she could read at her leisure back in bed at Garrus' side. Taking a deep breath, she glanced over her shoulder at Grundan Krul, flashing the batarian a shit-eating grin. One corner of his mouth twitched up in a half smile, and he started over to her, Thane and Miranda walking with him.

"Use it. Every scrap if that's what it takes. Get Anderson out of there." She shifted her weight to one hip and leaned against the console. "Forward this all to me, if you don't mind? I can't stay long, I need to get back to Garrus."

Grundan Krul nodded, moving to the console when she stepped aside. "How is he?"

Shepard sighed, taking Thane's hand when he held his out to her. "He's recovering. Dr. Chakwas seems optimistic about a full recovery, but he's still not moving around very well, and I'm fairly sure he's in more pain than he's admitting."

" _Of course he is, hell, he probably learned it from watching us."_ Jane snorted.

Making a soft, throaty noise almost sounding like a laugh, Grundan Krul nodded. "Sounds like Archangel." Pulling an OSD from his pocket, he plugged it into the console. "There's a lot here, I'm putting it on OSD, but if I find anything else urgent I'll forward it to you. You know, there's probably enough here I can push to have your charges cleared, too."

The words 'do it'danced on the tip of her tongue, but she stopped, shaking her head instead. "It's too risky. The Shadow Broker pushing for Anderson's release is one thing, having the Shadow Broker push for both Anderson and myself … it'll make people suspicious … your information brokers … the Council. We don't want to give anyone any reason to link you back to me, or suspect there's someone different in charge here. I'll deal with it." She glanced at Miranda and Thane before turning her attention back to Grundan Krul. "For now, all that matters is easing the tension on the Citadel and getting humanity's leader back in the game. Things with The Dissension are making things bad enough, but with riots over Anderson's arrest … we need people focused on getting ready for war, not starting new wars. And if we're going to win this war, _we need_ Anderson."

He turned his attention back to transferring data to the OSD. "Udina's replaced him on the Council. At least for the time being."

She sucked in a deep breath, filling her lungs with the metallic tang of recycled ship air and ozone. "Of course he has." She leaned against Thane, threading her arm through his. "We're going to go talk to Feron. I want to get a feel for him in this lifetime." She glanced around, realizing her party was two people short. "Where's Lia and Legion?"

"They've gone to the server room." Grundan Krul nodded his head toward the door they'd come in through. "Legion's transferring everything he has on the reapers and collectors to the system. In exchange, he's looking for everything the former Shadow Broker had on the geth and heretic movements."

Shepard nodded. "Good."

"If you don't mind, Commander," Miranda said, "I'll leave the two of you to speak with Feron. I want to read what we have on Cerberus while we're here so I know what to ask Grundan Krul to keep an eye out for."

"Sure." Shepard glanced at Thane, and the two of them made their way to the back where Feron disappeared earlier.

They found him standing in the video archives, screen opened before him playing a recording of two asari and a human—none of which Shepard recognized—talking together on the Citadel. He glanced over his shoulder as they approached before turning and stepping down from the archive. His gaze shifted from Shepard to Thane, dipping his head to the other drell as he came to a stop in front of them. She watched him, studying his every move, and she could tell Jane did the same.

Feron returned his focus to her and dipped his head again. "Shepard. I've been instructed to help you locate whatever information you ask for. Is there something I can help you find?"

She smiled and looked over her shoulder back toward the couch. "Actually, I just wanted to talk to you for a little while. If it's alright?"

"Oh." Feron gestured at the couches. "Of course."

"I'm told you locked yourself away and didn't join in the fight when my teams showed up," Shepard said once they'd settled onto the couch. "Care to tell me why that is?"

Feron scoffed, following it up with a light chuckle. "You mean besides not wanting to die?"

" _He's not as … fragile,"_ Jane said.

"Of course not, he wasn't tortured for two years," Shepard thought.

" _I realize that, Dawn. I'm just saying because of this, he's not the same person. I'm not sure what to expect from him, and Garrus needs to know he can be trusted. We need to know."_ Jane sounded mildly annoyed at having to explain herself.

"Yes," Shepard said, letting her frank tone linger in the air for a moment. "I doubt anyone here wanted to die, yet most still fought or tried to flee. You did neither. You hid in a room and waited for my team to find you. Why is that?" She stared at him, holding him pinned with her gaze.

Feron shifted a little, pushing himself up a little straighter on the couch and he licked his lips. "I thought you'd be with them."

She arched an eyebrow. "You were hiding from me?"

He held out a conciliatory hand. "I was waiting for you."

" _Waiting for you?"_ Jane shifted around, almost as if she tried to get closer to the drell. " _Why was he waiting for you?"_

Shepard leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "And why would you be waiting for me?"

"When you died, the collectors made an agreement with the Shadow Broker for your body. He learned Garrus Vakarian was also searching for you, so he sent me to try and find Vakarian. The Broker wanted me to lead Vakarian away from you while the Blue Suns secured your body for the collectors." Feron mimicked her posture, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands. "I was prepared to betray the Shadow Broker and help Vakarian get you some place safe, but by the time I arrived at his last known location, he'd already taken out the mercs and was on his way to Cerberus."

"Why did you plan to help Garrus instead of following your orders?" Thane asked, his voice all still waters and smooth silk.

Feron blinked, both sets of eyelids fluttering closed in apparent surprise. "The reapers, of course." He glanced at Shepard before turning his gaze back to Thane. "The Council may be officially denying their existence, but we know they don't truly believe Sovereign was a geth flagship. Every bit of evidence Shepard collected, her warning messages … the videos she sent out to her team when she knew …."

"When I knew I was going to die. Speak plainly, Feron." Shepard sat back and settled her hand on Thane's knee. "There's nothing you can say here I wouldn't tell Thane myself, if I haven't told him already. My squad is aware of Jane, and I have no doubts the Shadow Broker knew, too."

"Very well." Feron spread his hands and turned his attention back to Thane. "It all ended up in the Shadow Broker's archives. We know the reapers are real, we know they're on their way." He sat back, leaning against the couch cushion. "If the galaxy stands a chance against that threat, I think it's clear Shepard needs to be fighting the reapers and not laying dead on a slab, being subjected to whatever experimentation the collectors had in mind."

He paused, his lips parted to speak as he shifted his gaze from Thane to Shepard. "I can't say I believed everything you said in your videos, not at first, but Vakarian seemed determined to succeed where Dr. T'Soni would no longer be able to. He believed Cerberus could bring you back and you'd win this war. I thought if there was a chance he could be right, I couldn't stand in his way. And … I'm an information broker, human trafficking isn't supposed to be a part of my job."

"So, if you returned to the Shadow Broker empty handed, why are you still here? I doubt he was the forgiving type." A part of her wanted to add in the fact she knew exactly how unforgiving the old Shadow Broker was, having seen the memories of Feron strapped to a chair being tortured with electrical shocks, even then she fought to keep his pained groans from filling her ears and his body, arched in agony, from taking over her vision.

" _It's the others, the one's you consumed."_ Bitterness seethed just below the surface, slipping free of Jane to settle into the pit of Shepard's stomach. " _They're still fighting back somewhere inside of you … just not in here with the rest of us."_

"My orders were to lead Garrus away, but he'd already succeeded by the time I arrived. I wasn't at fault, the Broker understood this. There was no actual betrayal for the Shadow Broker to learn about." Feron waved a hand. "He directed his anger at those who failed to defeat Vakarian and bring your body to him. I quickly made myself useful again, collecting information on Cerberus in an attempt to locate you. At least as far as he knew."

"And you're comfortable with what's happened?" Shepard swallowed, forcing the bile wanting to work its way up her throat back down. "The old Shadow Broker being killed and someone else taking his place?"

Feron spread his hands apart, turning his palms out. "Grundan Krul seems more than capable of filling the position—with help, of course. I get to keep my job, and help you prepare the galaxy for the arrival of the reapers."

" _Well, he knows Grundan Krul's name, whether he learned through spying on us, or because Grundan Krul told him it doesn't matter."_ Jane sighed, her bitterness being replaced with an exhausted, cynical weight over Shepard's shoulders. " _He knows, which means if he wanted to, he can reveal it to the galaxy, so we better damn well trust him if we want the Shadow Broker to stay in business and working for us. Who can say about the other's who stuck around?"_

Shepard pushed herself to the edge of the couch. "Thank you, Feron. We're glad to have you as a part of the team." Rising to her feet, she extended her hand to the drell.

" _We're trusting him?"_ Jane asked.

"We're trusting him," Shepard thought.

He smiled and stood, too, shaking her hand with surprising enthusiasm. "Thank you, Shepard. If there's anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask." Turning to Thane, he tucked his hands behind his back and bowed.

Thane returned the gesture before offering his arm to Shepard. She gave Feron one last smile before slipping her arm through Thane's. She let him lead her away from the other drell, back through the door, and down the stairs, supporting some of her weight as they went. Lia and Legion huddled together off to the side of the room, looking over a console, and Miranda stood with Grundan Krul still at the one Shepard vacated earlier.

"You're tired, siha," Thane said in a hushed tone as they made their way over to Grundan Krul. "Will we be returning to the Normandy now?"

"Yeah." She nodded and squeezed his arm. "Yeah, we're heading back."

Grundan Krul glanced over his shoulder as they approached and then turned to face Shepard fully, holding out an OSD. "I'll let you know as soon as I have word Anderson's been released."

She took the OSD from him and slipped it inside her armor. "Thanks, Grundan Krul." She held her hand out to him, letting go of Thane to grasp the batarian's upper arm with her other hand when he accepted the first to shake.

"No, thank you for trusting me with this, Shepard." He let go of her hand and gave her a half smile. "Take care of Archangel for me."

"You got it," she said with a grin. Turning her attention to Miranda, she said, "I'm ready to head back to the Normandy. Are you good to go, or do you need more time?"

"Ah." Miranda glanced at Shepard and paused, her eyes narrowing and her lips pursing. She started to reach for her omni-tool, no doubt to start scanning her patient, but stopped when Shepard glared at her in warning. "I'm ready whenever you are, Commander."

Jane left Shepard with the impression of a smirk. " _You must look as shitty as you feel."_

After calling Legion and Lia over, they began the trek back to the shuttle. Shepard needed to stop twice before they even made it to the ship's exterior, prompting more worried glances from Miranda. She waved the operative off with promises of letting her do her scans once they got away from prying eyes. Meanwhile, her team surrounded Shepard as she leaned against the walls, making quiet conversation about the Shadow Broker's use in the upcoming war, as if she had perfectly legitimate reasons to stop so frequently and take in the ship's design.

By the time they made it back to the shuttle, she found herself trembling with the effort to stay on her feet and keep moving. As soon as the shuttle door closed behind her, she collapsed into the seat and began fumbling with the clasps of her armor. Thane took over for her, releasing her from the weighted confines of her breastplate, while Miranda opened her scanner.

Gentle fingers stroked her cheek, pushing her hair behind her ear and rousing her from sleep. She glanced around her, blinking away the fog in her mind. They were back on the Normandy, the shuttle door opened, James squatted in front of her, gathering up her discarded pieces of armor. Thane sat next to her, hints of worry creeping past the edges of his mask of constant calm. She smiled at him and shifted forward, pushing herself to her feet only to sway a little, but there he was, right beside her, his arm slipping effortlessly around her before lifting her into his arms.

She sighed and looked up at him. "I don't need you to carry me."

"Perhaps I _want_ to carry you." He smiled and kissed her forehead. "It's far more appealing when you're not wearing armor and injured."

She snorted, but didn't press the issue, instead turning her attention to James. "There's an OSD in there I need. Mind taking the armor up to my cabin and bringing the OSD back down to med bay along with my laptop?"

He pushed himself up, juggling the pieces of armor until he got a secure grip on it all. "No hay problema, Ídolo."

"Thanks, James." She smiled, patting his shoulder as Thane turned around, stepping out of the shuttle.

He carried her to the elevator, James right behind them. Once inside, she told EDI to allow James into her cabin, and then laid her head against Thane's chest, soaking up his warmth and breathing in his scent. When the elevator stopped on the third deck, she made him put her down so the crew didn't see her being carried into the med bay. Still, he kept his arm around her waist until she laid down in the bed next to Garrus—who was awake, alert, and sitting up on his own.

"Hey." Garrus leaned over, a low growl of a grunt escaping him, and pressed his forehead to her temple. "You look tired." He hummed, sitting back against his pillows and settling a hand down on her knee. "How's Grundan Krul holding up as the new Broker?"

"He's kicking ass and taking names." She shifted her weight, looking for a comfortable position. "He's doing good. Real good. He's already pulled together a ton of information for me to sort through, and he's working on getting Anderson released."

Thane leaned over her, brushing her hair back before pressing his lips to the top of her head. "I'll be in life support if you need me, siha."

She smiled, turning her face up to him for a real kiss. "OK, love you."

"And I you." He kissed her, his lips warm and tempting against hers, before brushing the back of his fingers over her cheek and walking away.

After watching Thane leave the med bay, she glanced over at Kasumi sleeping in the opposite bed and then at Dr. Chakwas, back to them at her desk, before turning to Garrus. She kept her voice low, opting for curiosity over compassion, least he interpret it as pity and asked, "Jack been up to see you yet?"

His mandibles pulled in against his jaw and he gave her a curt shake of his head. "No."

Shepard frowned, clenching her jaw a little to keep her lips sealed. The med bay door slid open, James stepping inside with her laptop, making it easy for her to shift her focus away from the bullheaded woman hiding from her feelings under engineering.

The marine pulled over the bedside table, setting her computer down on it before sliding the foot of the table under the bed and adjusting it over Shepard's lap. "Need anything else, Commander?"

"Nope, I'm good for now." She patted his arm. "Thanks, James."

He nodded at her. "Anytime." Turning on his heel, he grabbed a chair and pulled it a little closer to Kasumi's bed before sitting down and opening his omni-tool.

Shepard opened her laptop and slid in the OSD. Garrus leaned a little closer to her, so she turned the laptop so he could more easily see and glanced at him. He definitely looked better, though she knew the bulk of his injuries weren't even visible on the outside. Still, seeing him move a little easier, the lively gleam back in his crystal blue eyes, it lifted a weight off of her shoulders and eased the tightness in her chest.

" _He's going to be alright. He's strong, strongest person we know."_ Jane's love and faith in the turian sitting next to them demanded an outlet.

Shepard took his hand in hers, careful and gentle, stroking her thumb over the back of his knuckles. He smiled and squeezed her hand. Together, they started reading, making their way through the files on the OSD. They didn't spend too much time looking over the stuff on the Council or Cerberus and the Illusive Man, much of it she already knew, or just didn't help much.

Still, she forwarded everything about Cerberus to Miranda in case she wanted to look over it again and made a point of reminding herself to compare the list of coordinates to those she'd already received from EDI. The main thing of interest from the Cerberus file were those places marked as alternative locations where the Illusive Man spent time when not at the Cronos Station; they might come in handy down the road.

What really caught their attention were the files marked Collectors, The Dissension, and Shepard. Seeing a file labeled with her name proved too unnerving to ignore, so she started there. As Feron suggested earlier, the Shadow Broker had been paying special attention to her. Hell, he might've known more about her personally than anyone else; she found scraps of intel and photos going all the way back to her infancy. Granted, he probably didn't start gathering those things until she caused a ruckus over Saren, but still, it felt beyond disturbing to see her baby pictures in the mix.

" _I don't think Saren was the trigger. It was something else you did, something you changed … or maybe learning about me, because he never had this much stuff on any of the rest of us."_ Jane let out a thoughtful hum. " _At least not the Liara ever showed us."_

"Liara would've showed you if it was there and she knew about it," Shepard thought while closing the file.

She'd seen enough to make her skin crawl, photos, grade cards, accommodations, things about the slaver attacks on Mindoir, her Alliance enlistment and career, her Spectre inauguration … all of it. She'd expected to find things about Saren and Sovereign, about her career even, and certainly the videos of her resurrection—Wilson would've sent them immediately behind Miranda's back—but the rest was just too … personal to deal with just then.

The file on The Dissension contained two folders. The first held the original list provided to the Council—with a confirmation Spectre Protalus sent the list initially. The second held a much shorter, but far more important list. It contained those names Grundan Krul already verified as definitely being involved with The Dissension. It listed names, ranks—and some of them seemed pretty high ranking—occupations, locations, and attached to each she found one form of evidence or another: photos, videos, audio recordings, business ledgers, and even personal correspondences. There was too much information to sort through in one sitting, and she felt the growing agitation pouring off of Garrus, so she closed the file for the time being. But damn it if Grundan Krul wasn't doing exactly what he'd been asked to do.

They only needed a couple of minutes with the file on the collectors for Shepard's blood to run ice cold in her veins. She'd seen it coming already, began connecting the dots when she heard they'd been sighted in the Attican Traverse, but she still thought they had more time.

"They're headed for Earth." Alarm filled Garrus' voice as he pieced it together, shifting on the bed next to her to sit up a little straighter.

" _They can't. It's too soon. They can't possibly expect to take Earth yet."_ The panicked edge in Jane's voice did nothing to soothe Shepard's jangled nerves.

She looked up, finding both James and Dr. Chakwas watching the two of them with laser focus, the color drained from the doctor's face. Shepard took a deep breath, her lips a tight line and nodded. "The collectors are headed to Earth sooner than anticipated." Turning her focus completely to James, she waved him over. "Help me to my cabin, I need to make some calls."

He hopped to his feet before the words finished leaving her mouth, sliding the table out of her way and helping her stand.

" _This can't happen yet! You can barely even stand, Garrus is on bed rest, and Kasumi's down, too."_ Jane inched her way toward a full on meltdown, forcing Shepard to start her breathing exercises. " _We're already short three people with Grundan Krul acting as the Shadow Broker, and Tali and Kal are with the Migrant Fleet."_

"I'm coming with you." Garrus' words drew her attention back to him, he struggled with the blankets, getting them pulled off of his lap and legs.

"Jane, stay with me here. We'll figure it all out. Tali and Kal said they'd join us again when we're ready to hit the relay," Shepard thought, pouring as much soothing tranquility as she could muster into her words. "I'll let Hackett know what's going on, and he can get the Alliance together to protect Earth. Just please keep it together, please."

If she expected Dr. Chakwas to argue, she'd be mistaken. The doctor pushed away from her desk and moved to Garrus' side, wordlessly unhooking his IV line and removing his monitors. Shepard shrugged James off and jerked her head toward Garrus. He frowned at her but didn't argue, moving over to help Garrus to his feet.

She picked up her laptop, holding it clutched to her chest and started walking, taking slow, measured steps toward the door. "EDI, get Admiral Hackett on vid-call for me. I'll take it up in my cabin."

EDI's blue hologram popped up. "Right away, Shepard."

"And tell Thane to meet us at the elevator." She took another deep breath, relief washing over her when she felt Jane pulling herself together.

"Very well, Shepard. Is there anything else I can do for you?" EDI asked.

"Uhhh, yeah." She lifted a hand to her brow, rubbing her thumb and fingers over the tense muscles in her forehead, trying to think. "Tell Joker to be ready to go as soon as I figure out where the hell we're headed to first, we're running out of time. Thank you, EDI."

"You're welcome, Shepard." The hologram collapsed in on itself and winked out of existence.

She took her time getting to the elevator. James, leading Garrus at her side, stayed between her and his ward, undoubtedly so he could grab her, too, if she started to sway. Thane waited for her next to the elevator, just as she asked, but when he saw her, he moved to her side and slid his arm around her waist.

He reached out, pushing the elevator call button with his free hand. "Is something wrong?"

She waited for the elevator to open and for everyone to get inside before she answered. "I finished looking over the files from Grundan Krul. The collectors are heading for Earth, _now_. I need to inform the Alliance, and we've got a list of confirmed members of The Dissension. I'm passing it on to Sparatus and Primarch Fedorian. I need to call Tali and see if she's ready to come back to the Normandy, we need to get moving on this. We need to get the reaper IFF and hit the relay." She glanced at Thane, catching the concern pulling at his features and softened her voice. "The war isn't going to wait for me to get back on my feet, Thane. This is my job, it's who I am. I can't sit this out."

"I know, siha." And with that, his face smoothed out, all traces of emotion vanishing completely.

"What's the word on the implants Miranda mentioned?" Garrus asked.

"I think she's having Grundan Krul help her gather what she needs so we can avoid dealing with the Illusive Man." She turned to him, holding his gaze and slowly shook her head. "But we can't afford to wait, Garrus. They're going to hit Earth."

Shoulders sagging, he dropped his gaze from hers. His mandibles fluttered, a helpless, hopeless sort of gesture, and he nodded his head. "I understand. If it were Palaven …."

The elevator door opened, and Thane urged her forward. EDI activated her cabin door, and it slid open just as Shepard stepped out, letting her head straight into her cabin. The display case, already darkened to form a screen, flashed with the words 'call holding'.

She set her laptop down on her desk and pulled out her chair. "Garrus, sit, please. EDI, connect the call."

The screen lit up, showing Admiral Hackett sitting at a desk, his gaze focused on the datapad in his hand. Shepard put her hand on Garrus' shoulder as he settled into the chair, the shuffling sound drawing Hackett's attention.

"Commander, it's good to see you. I wish it was under better circumstances. I heard the Council is looking for you on charges of treason, and Anderson's been arrested." Hackett set down the datapad and shook his head. "I know you realize reaching out to the Alliance while you're wanted by the Council is risky, so this must be damn important, and I owe you. What's going on, Commander?"

"Thank you, sir. You're right, this is damn important." Shepard saluted, raking her thumbnail across her forehead when the admiral acknowledged her gesture. "The first part of what I'm going to tell you needs to stay between you and I—well, you and the Normandy crew, obviously." She waved her hand, indicating those in the room with her.

He nodded, folding his hands together on the desk in front of him. "I'm listening."

She took a deep breath and then dove in head first. "The Shadow Broker has been replaced with someone of my choosing."

The admiral let out a low whistle, his eyebrows inching up his face. "I don't suppose you're going to tell me who?"

"No sir, but I have full confidence we can trust this individual to work in our favor and help us in the upcoming war. In fact, they already have." Shepard cleared her throat and shifted her weight, using her free hand to grip the back of the chair in front of her. "The new Broker is still sorting through everything, but they've found evidence strongly suggesting the collectors are moving to hit Earth, and fast. I think you need to evacuate the planet, sir."

"Shepard …" He leaned forward a little, holding her gaze. "... you're certain about this?"

She jerked her head in the affirmative before glancing over her shoulder. "EDI, please forward the information from my laptop regarding the collectors to Admiral Hackett along with all of the reported sightings we've collected so far."

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said, then a moment later she added, "The information has been sent."

Shepard turned her attention back to Hackett. "We'll be hitting the collector base as soon as possible, but I need to know while I'm striking them on that end, people back home are safe, Admiral."

"The message just came through. I'll go over what you have and get on the horn right away, Shepard." He let out a heavy breath and shook his head. "If the collectors have left the Terminus, maybe we actually have a chance of getting aid from the Council."

She snorted, lifting her hand in salute, and she didn't need to look over her shoulder to know James did the same. "Good luck with that, sir."

The corner of his mouth lifted in a sardonic smile. "Thanks, Commander. Hackett out."

The screen went dark, and Shepard glanced over her shoulder, meeting James' hardened gaze. The war hadn't even really gotten started yet, and already he looked more and more like the lieutenant in Jane's memories, the man being recommended for N7, and less like the reckless, young operations chief she met on Fehl Prime. She wondered, if when all of it was said and done, he'd still consider her to be his idol.

"EDI, can you try to get Sparatus and Primarch Fedorian on the line, please?" Shepard asked, tearing her gaze away from James. She squeezed Garrus' shoulder while they waited, and he hummed, lifting his hand to rest on hers.

"Former Councilor Sparatus is unavailable, Shepard, but I have Primarch Fedorian for you."

She nodded absently, she could fill Sparatus in later, Fedorian carried more clout anyway. "Patch him through, EDI."

"Commander Shepard," the older turian filling the screen said before his gaze shifted downward and his mandibles flared, brow ridge raised. "Garrus … you've been injured. Your father didn't mention anything when we spoke this morning."

Garrus chuffed. "I haven't spoken to him in awhile, but I'm sure you'll let him know. The Normandy's doctor is taking good care of me, Primarch, but we didn't call to discuss my recovery."

"Of course." Fedorian's gaze shifted back to Shepard, and his eyes narrowed, intelligent gray eyes taking in her tired face. "What can I do for you, Commander?"

Suddenly all too aware of the sagging of her shoulders, she straightened, pulling herself upright and lifted her chin. "I've acquired a list from the Shadow Broker containing the names of several high ranking turians confirmed to be a part of The Dissension as well as many others of lesser notoriety. The list sent to the Council is confirmed to have come from Spectre Protalus, and it's this list the Broker is sorting through, confirming what can be proven with evidence. I trust you will take the appropriate actions."

Fedorian leaned forward, his mandibles fluttering. "And in exchange for this list?"

"I'm not using the list as a bartering tool, Primarch. I want this mess cleared up as much as the Hierarchy does. EDI, please forward the list to the Primarch." Shepard shook her head, not waiting for EDI's response before continuing, "However, if the Hierarchy is interested in repairing any damages done by The Dissension with humanity, I have reason to believe the Alliance might very soon be in need of military assistance."

"Military assistance?" Fedorian's mandibles flared wide, his brow ridge hiking up again. "Commander, if this is about the collector situation, the Hierarchy can no more enter the Terminus Systems en masse than can the Alliance without provoking a war."

"I don't think that's going to be necessary, sir." She took a deep breath, feeling herself skating on thin ice, but threw caution to the wind. "If you want to help, contact Alliance Admiral Steven Hackett. Tell him I suggested you call, and ask him how you can assist."

After a moment of scrutiny, he gave her a slow nod. "Alright, Commander. I'll call him. Who else has seen this list?"

"I can't say with certainty, Primarch, but you are the first person outside of my crew I've shared it with." She waved a hand at nothing in particular. "I tried to contact Sparatus as well, but he was unavailable."

He hummed, a suspicious, thoughtful sound which seemed to make Garrus squirm in his seat. "You didn't take this directly to the Council?"

Shepard pursed her lips. "I thought it might be best to bring it to you instead."

Fedorian leaned back in his chair, one foot coming into view as he rested his ankle across the opposite knee. "I get the feeling there's something here you're not telling me."

She took a moment to weigh out the pros and cons of telling the Primarch the Council wanted her head on a platter, and in the end decided her transparency would win her far more favors than lying, and eventually he'd learn anyway. "The Council is currently seeking my arrest on charges of treason for failing to follow first contact protocol with a newly discovered species." The fact the turian Primarch didn't already know about her charges spoke volumes, though she wasn't entirely sure what those volumes held. "With all due respect to the Council, I have more important things to tend to right now than dealing with their trumped up charges because they're afraid they might need someone to point their finger at if things go sideways."

Silence stretched between them for long seconds before the Primarch finally spoke. "I see. I suppose this explains Councilor Anderson's arrest." He hummed. "I'll get in touch with Sparatus, he's been quite ardent about uncovering The Dissension and speaks highly of you." He chuckled when Shepard arched an eyebrow in surprise. "I'm aware it wasn't always the case. I'll be sure to leave your name out of my report to Councilor Quentius."

She let out a slow breath. "Thank you, Primarch."

He nodded. "Commander," he said before ending the call.

"Would you like for me to call Tali now, Shepard?"

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose, a headache creeping in behind her eyes despite Jane's continued, calm silence. "Yes, EDI, thanks."

"Siha, you should sit." Thane's hand pressed into the small of her back. "Perhaps you can speak with Tali from the couch?"

She sighed but nodded. "Patch her through to my omni-tool, EDI."

"Very well. Patching Tali through now."

Shepard opened her omni-tool, already smiling by the time the quarian's mask appeared on her screen. "What's the news, Tali?"

"Shepard," Tali said, her voice starting strong before dropping, concern and confusion coloring her next words, "you look terrible. And—Keelah—what happened to Garrus?"

Shepard glanced over her shoulder at the turian being led down the stairs behind her. "We've had a rough time, but we're recovering." She sank down into the nearest seat of the couch and let out a sigh. "Listen, Tali, things are moving along faster than what we expected. We need to get the IFF and hit the Omega 4 relay soon. How are things going for the quarians—will you and Kal be ready to join us again soon? We're pretty beat up here, but we can't wait much longer, and we're going to need the extra guns." She laid her hand on Garrus' leg as James lowered him down on the seat next to her.

"We're on Rannoch now. Admiral Koris convinced the rest of the Admiralty Board it's safe to return home. Not everyone agrees, of course, many of our people are refusing and instead insist on keeping the Migrant Fleet together." Tali looked over her shoulder, and a moment later Kal appeared in the background. "Kal, come talk to Shepard with me. They need us back on the Normandy."

Kal moved to stand next to Tali, his attention directed at Shepard. "Commander, things aren't exactly stable yet here on Rannoch, but we're getting it there. The Flotilla is divided, but the majority are excited to return home. Admiral Koris has brought down a thousand civilian ships and five military ships to begin resettlement efforts. The geth, now that they know we're planning on reinhabiting Rannoch, are working around the clock to help us prepare. I don't think Tali and I are needed here; I'm ready to rejoin you whenever Tali is ready."

Tali shrugged. "You heard him, we're ready, Shepard."

"Excellent." Shepard glanced back toward EDI's access node, even though she couldn't see it from where she sat. "EDI, tell Joker to get us to Rannoch. We're picking up Tali and Kal."

"Locking in the coordinates now, Shepard."


	75. Chapter 52: What it Means to be a Soldie

**Chapter 52: What it Means to be a Soldier**

"Shepard, you were gone with Tali and Kal before I'd even heard you arrived." Admiral Zaal'Koris crossed his arms on the vid screen. "How disappointing, I hoped to show you around. I wanted you to see how much progress we've already made with Ket'yah."

" _Maybe he's learned how to play that instrument instead of making people's ears bleed."_ Jane seemed to smirk, her tone light.

Shepard started to snort in response, but schooled the urge and its accompanying smile for the admiral's sake. "Sorry, Zaal." She dropped her weight to one hip and crossed her own arms loosely over her chest. "I would've loved to, but the clock is running out. Intel suggests the collectors are moving on Earth, I've got to get through the Omega 4 relay and take out their base. The Alliance is going to have their hands full, but I've done all I can for them for the time being."

"I see." His voice took on a somber tone as he leaned forward, pressing his fingertips to the console in front of him. He shook his head and held her gaze, eyes nothing but white slashes behind his mask. "Here I am rambling on about Rannoch when you're own homeworld is in danger. Forgive me, Shepard. How can I help?"

She gave him a lopsided smile. "You've got enough on your plate, Zaal. You're making history, you know. Bringing your people back together with the geth and rebuilding Rannoch. You just keep doing what you're doing, and make sure your people are ready when the reapers show up."

" _He'd probably send ships to Earth if you asked,"_ Jane said, sounding more like an observation than a suggestion.

Shepard thought, "Yeah, but between the Alliance and whatever help Fedorian decides to send—and I'd put credits on him sending ships—things are desperate enough for us to risk losing quarians in favor of the quarian-geth reunion."

Zaal lowered his gaze, staring at his feet for a moment before looking up again. "We will be, Shepard, you have my word. Keelah se'lai."

"Keelah se'lai." She ended the call and took a deep breath. "EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard?" The reflection of the blue glow of EDI's hologram danced on the glass of the display case.

Turning her head, she looked at the AI's access point. "Set coordinates for the reaper, it's time we get the IFF. Put in a call to the Illusive Man on the QEC, then have everyone meet me in the comm room in fifteen."

"Right away, Shepard."

She took a moment to steady herself, adjusting her ponytail and smoothing down the shirt of her uniform before leaving her cabin. She stepped into the elevator and hit the button for the CIC. As soon as the door opened, Kelly informed her the Illusive Man waited for her on the QEC. Nodding her head at the yeoman, she turned toward the tech labs and made her way inside. She stopped at the research terminal—taking a passive-aggressive pleasure in making the Illusive Man wait on her a little bit longer—and gave the greenlight on several projects before heading to the comm room.

The table lowered into the floor as she walked in, and she stepped into the QEC, squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin as the holographic grid rose up around her. The Illusive Man came into view, standing just a few feet away, his signature lit cigarette and tumbler in hand.

"Commander." He took a long drag from his cigarette, the blue glow of his eyes zeroing in on her. "I'm surprised, I didn't expect you to seek me out for this conversation. You always seem so put out whenever we speak. Threatened to kill me, even." Turning his back on her, undoubtedly to symbolically tell her that she didn't intimidate him, he strolled over to his chair, tapping his cigarette in the ashtray before draining his glass and setting it down. "I asked to speak to you days ago, but I was informed you were on bedrest. I'm glad to see you're back on your feet."

" _Not a threat, but a promise. A fact,"_ said Jane.

Ignoring both his disregard for the very real threat she posed him and his obvious attempt to fish for more information on her physical status, Shepard shifted her weight, spreading her legs shoulder length apart and crossed her arms. "I've acquired intel suggesting the collectors are headed toward Earth, did you know about this?"

"I believe you mean your new Shadow Broker acquired the intel, and no, Shepard, I didn't know. I assumed the eventuality of a strike against Earth, but I no more knew how soon it'd happen than it appears you did." He paced back toward her, taking a drag from his cigarette and blowing the smoke toward her. "Which is surprising, I thought Jane kept you informed on these matters."

" _I hate hearing him say my name. I'd say it's physically repulsive, but …."_ Jane made a rolling, phlegmy sound, and Shepard almost felt it in the back of her throat.

"Things have changed since her time." Shepard resisted the urge to close her eyes and pinch the bridge of her nose, wishing Mr. Jack Harper would stick to the topic so they might wrap up the conversation and let her get the hell out of there. "As they should. I've been busting my ass to make sure things work out differently this time around."

"I certainly hope this isn't what you had in mind." He waved his hand. "However, I must commend you on your decision to replace the Shadow Broker. I would've prefered it if you'd consulted with me first, of course, at least given me the chance to convince you it'd be a mistake to place a batarian into such a powerful position."

Jane snorted. " _And by that, he really means he wished you'd let him put Cerberus in charge of the Shadow Broker."_

"Really, Shepard," the Illusive Man said, his voice taking on a patronizing tone, "I know you and I don't see eye to eye on much, but with your history with the batarians, I didn't think I'd need to explain to you, of all people, how much of a threat they are to humanity."

Keeping a neutral face, she let out a slow, silent breath. "I trust Grundan Krul, and he's already been an immense help. He's committed to helping us win this war."

"I hope you're right, but what happens once the war has ended?" The Illusive Man shifted his weight, sliding one foot out and to the side a little before folding his arm around himself to brace his elbow in his palm, lit cigarette held in the air near his mouth.

She sucked in a deep breath and forced a smile on her face. "I wouldn't know, we've never lived to see the other side." She shrugged, as if her probable death in the war didn't matter to her in the slightest. "But I suspect the entire galaxy will have far more to worry about than the Shadow Broker."

" _You should remind him that he won't be around to see it, either,"_ Jane said.

The Illusive Man took another drag from his cigarette, his gaze appraising. "You're headed to the derelict reaper."

Shepard gave him a curt nod. "We need the IFF if we're going to make it through the relay."

"I'm glad to see you're staying on course." He turned, pacing back toward his chair. "I was afraid you might decide to head to Earth instead."

"I've informed the Alliance, the Normandy won't make much of a difference with the Alliance fleets at the ready, and I'm sure you know I'm wanted by the Council." She waved her hand, brushing aside the notion. "Showing up in the Earth Systems Alliance Space in such a blatant display would force the Alliance's hand, they'd have to either turn me over or risk our alliance with the Council." She shook her head. "I won't ask that of them, and I can't risk incarceration before the collector base is dealt with." She sucked in a deep breath. "Will you be sending Cerberus forces to Earth space?"

Tapping the ashes off his cigarette, he turned and sat down, crossing an ankle over the opposite knee. "Earth won't fall, Shepard. Not to the collectors." He paused, adding emphasis to his next statement. "Not while I draw breath."

Jane scoffed, her derision nearly palpable. " _Does he think that'll save his life?"_

"Well, that was fantastically ambiguous. I don't have anything else to report, so I'll let you get back to killing your lungs and liver while you sit in the dark, trying to appear all powerful and mysterious." She turned ready to step out of the QEC.

"Shepard?"

She stopped and looked over her shoulder, eyebrow raised.

"Cerberus can make those charges disappear, all I ask is for you to stop fighting me." He took a short drag from his cigarette, his next words floating out on a cloud of smoke. "Work with me, Shepard, not against me, and together we can solve this resurrection problem of yours and find a way to stop the reapers before they arrive."

"No thanks. I'd rather keep my soul. I'll have Chambers let you know when the IFF is installed and we're headed for the relay." She stepped out of the QEC, and moved out of the way of the table, waiting for it to raise into place.

" _Do you … do you think he can? Solve our 'resurrection problem?'"_ Hope and a hint of fear floated just on the edges of Jane's words.

"Not a chance," Shepard said aloud, "But even if he could, we've seen what the Illusive Man and Cerberus thinks of as acceptable risks and losses with their experiments. We know what lengths he's willing to go to for advancement. He'd just as soon tear us back a part to study us than help … or run torturous experiments on an entire colony in an attempt to save us."

A moment later the door opened and her crew started making their way in, Mordin first, followed by Miranda and Jacob. A minute later, Thane arrived, Garrus at his side. Thane's hand hovered just behind the turian's back without making contact. It didn't surprise her to see Garrus insisted on attending the meeting, no matter what she or Dr. Chakwas said, but at least he'd recovered enough to be dressed and walking on his own. Still, he seemed unsteady on his feet, and she was glad to see Thane there, offering him the support if he needed it.

Garrus made his way to stand at Shepard's right, and Thane took up position on his other side, sandwiching Garrus in between the two of them. She wrapped her arm around Garrus' waist and gave him an affectionate squeeze. Draping his arm over her shoulders, he leaned down and pressed his forehead to hers before touching his mouth to the same spot. She clung to him as the others arrived, using him to hold herself up as much as offering him support, pulling a little of his weight onto her shoulders.

With everyone besides Kasumi present and accounted for, Shepard cleared her throat and tucked both hands behind her back, signaling the start of the meeting. Garrus took half a step away from her, and laid his palms on the table, his attention, just like everyone else's, riveted on her.

"EDI, please show us the intel we have on the derelict reaper," Shepard said, and immediately images began appearing above the center of the table. "Thank you, EDI. We've supplemented the images with Jane's memories, including the path you'll need to take through the Cerberus ship and into the reaper itself to get to the IFF."

"Once inside the reaper, kinetic barriers will activate and you'll need to destroy the mass effect drive core in order to escape." She pointed her finger at the holographic image, tracing the path to the drive core. "Do _not_ do this until you are ready to leave, as it will cause the reaper to fall into the star it's orbiting. The reaper will throw every troop it still has available at you to try to keep you from taking out the drive core. Once you've done it, though, you'll need to double time it to the exit."

She took a moment to meet the gazes of everyone around the table before settling on James. "I asked EDI to mark points of interest—consoles, research data, weapons, whatever—along the path, and attach descriptions of the enemies you'll be facing. She'll be forwarding it to your omni-tool, James. You'll be leading this mission. I won't be joining you, but I will remain in contact. Kasumi and Garrus are likewise exempt from this mission, obviously."

He nodded, just one, quick jerk of his head, face grim and serious. "Yes, Commander."

"In addition to obtaining the reaper IFF, you'll be helping Legion to gather whatever information he needs from the reaper to help his people. Jane first encountered Legion on the derelict reaper while he was studying the reaper's hardware." She looked at Legion. "I'm not really sure what you were looking for there, or what you learned, but it helped you to determine there's a way to either destroy or rewrite the heretics; preventing them from using the reaper virus to force the conversion of the geth."

Turning her attention back to the floating image of the reaper, she delivered the next piece of information with as much aplomb as she could manage, "In other times, the quarians attack the geth in an attempt to retake Rannoch while the reapers are invading the rest of the galaxy. Their actions force the geth into a position where they need to accept the aid offered by the reapers in order to survive. If we rewrite the heretics, it only gives us more heretic forces to fight later. If we destroy them, we still have heretic forces to fight, but not as many."

"Genocide or enslavement?" Lia asked, her voice nearly frantic until Tali put a hand on her shoulder. "Those are our only options?"

"It would not be enslavement, Creator Vael. Once the code of the heretics reverted back to the code of the geth, they would be geth." Legion's plates fluttered around his optics. "Their memories would become a part of the Consensus, but they would not be forced to remain with the Geth Consensus if they decided to remove themselves."

"All moral debates on whether or not it's more appropriate to rewrite the heretics against their will or kill them, I believe we have sufficiently changed the course of the future regarding the quarians and the geth," Shepard said, putting an end to the side talk for the time being. "The quarians don't need to attack the geth to reclaim Rannoch, the geth won't need to turn to the reapers for their survival." She glanced at Legion. "The decision will be yours to make, you have more time to consider the options now and come to a consensus this time."

Plates fluttering, Legion dipped his head. "Yes, Shepard-Commander."

"James, I'll give you some time to review the information before you choose your team. I suggest taking at least one biotic with you, there are a lot of long drops, and the husks and abominations will be attacking from those points. Biotic abilities able to force them back over the edge to fall to their deaths are quite useful. Come find me if you have any questions. Dismissed." She watched as people started toward the door, her attention snagging on Jack's hurried gait. "Jack, stick around a minute."

Jack's shoulders slumped and she hung her head, giving it a shake before slinking off to the corner. Leaning against the wall, she kept her gaze away from Garrus as Thane led him from them room, but Shepard knew the woman well enough to pick out the storm of emotions brewing behind her mask of 'I don't give a fuck'. Anger. Guilt. Shame. Doubt. Self-loathing.

Shepard waited out the crowd, letting the room clear of everyone but her and Jack. She pulled herself up on the edge of the table and glanced over her shoulder at the biotic. Finally, Jack looked up and met her gaze, her lips pressed tight, ready for a fight.

Lifting the corner of her mouth in a smirk, Shepard cocked an eyebrow and held Jack's gaze. "I'm tired, Jack. Don't make me kick your ass just to prove I can. Come sit with me."

Jack scoffed, but the fire in her eyes dwindled. She shook her head and glanced off to the side. "Fuck you, Shepard."

"Yeah, yeah, fuck me. Come sit with me anyway." Shepard patted the table next to her and waited.

After a moment, Jack let out a throaty, exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes, pushing herself off the wall. Moving around the table, she pulled herself up next to Shepard, bracing one boot on the edge, throwing an arm out over the bent knee and letting the other leg dangle over the edge. "What do you want, Shepard?"

" _She's not going to want to hear this, but if it helps, I think she'll listen,"_ Jane said. " _You and Garrus have really gotten through to her. Your opinion matters to her, even if she doesn't like it."_

Taking in a deep breath, Shepard held Jack's gaze. "For you to be quiet and listen for a minute. Just listen, because I'm only going to say this once: what happened to Garrus on the Shadow Broker's ship isn't your fault."

Jack scowled, lips pulling back from her teeth as if the very idea she might blame herself was utterly revolting. "I know—"

Shepard cut her off with a sharp, warning glare. Mouth snapping closed, the muscles in her jaw worked overtime, flexing and relaxing before flexing again as she ground her teeth together. The fire in her eyes worked its way back into a roaring flame.

"I love you, Jack," Shepard said and shook her head, "but you're being an asshole."

Jack scoffed, loud and rumbling, her lip and nose twitching with a barely contained snarl. But she stayed quiet.

"I put Garrus in charge of the mission, which meant it was his job, _his duty_ to pull all of your asses back out of there. Yes, he loves you, and whether either of you like it or not, it means he's going to be naturally inclined to be willing to risk more for your safety than he might for others." Shepard sighed and shook her head again. "But I know Garrus. I know Garrus better than I've ever known anyone else—in all of my lifetimes. He would've done the same for anyone under his command because it's who he is; a natural leader and damn good at it, despite the flak he gives himself."

" _And he'd never be able to return to you if he lost someone because he didn't give it his all."_ Jane sounded wistful as she added, " _No Garrus Vakarian, no matter how different … steadfast and loyal to the end. He's better than anything else this galaxy has to offer when it comes to putting your faith in someone. Even if he doesn't like me so much these days, he's still the best damn friend I've ever had."_

Shepard shifted a little, pulling one of her legs up on the table to face Jack more squarely. "Now you can spend the rest of your life reliving that moment over and over again, convincing yourself if you'd just been two feet further away, he wouldn't have needed to do what he did. If you'd just turned at the right time, you'd be the one laid up in the med bay instead of him." She pulled her shoulders up high, nearly touching her ears and held them for a couple of seconds before letting them drop again. "Maybe you're telling yourself he's stupid for risking himself for you, stupid for anyone to risk themselves for someone else … for you. Maybe you're angry at him for getting hurt, angry with yourself because he wouldn't be hurt if you weren't in the wrong place at the wrong time. You're smarter than all that shit, Jack, and you've been with this crew long enough to know it's not how shit works."

"His heart stopped." Jack's voice broke and she turned her face away from Shepard, looking toward the door. "He fucking _died_ , and I didn't know how to help him. I had to watch that fucking Cerberus Barbie Doll do what I couldn't. And now he's all fucked up, maybe for the rest of his life."

" _Will you tell her I said it doesn't matter?"_ Jane asked, and so Shepard did, relaying her words. " _He's alive and so is she. That's what counts at the end of a mission. If one falls, the team does their best to get him back up, doesn't matter what took him down, or who's the one to get him standing again. And if they can't, if he's down for good, they mourn him together and never let his memory die. It's what being a team is, what it means to be a soldier."_

"I'm not a soldier." Jack shook her head. "Just some crazy bitch with powerful biotics and a will to survive no matter what. No one trained me for any of this shit."

"We're all soldiers in this war, we have to be. No matter our training." Shepard wanted to remind Jack the collectors and the reapers didn't discriminate between soldier and civilian, but it wasn't really relevant to the current conversation. "I wouldn't have known what to do for him any better than you. If Miranda or Mordin hadn't been there with me, I damn sure would've tried, but who knows how it might've turned out. Miranda _was_ there, though, and you can bet your ass I'd have gotten the hell out of her way and deferred to her command if she told me to do something to help save him."

She watched as Jack rubbed at her face, still turned away, and let the silence linger for a moment. "If I'd been there instead of Garrus, I'd have done the same damn thing, Jack. Only I'd probably be hurt worse—I don't have built in conductive plating and I'm full of cybernetics. Anyway, it was the right thing to do. And I'd like to think if it were me laying up there in the med bay instead of Garrus, you'd at least come check on me, even if for nothing else than to tell me how stupid I am."

Jane chuckled. " _Sounds about right, and we'd know it just meant she cared."_

Jack snorted and rubbed her face again but still didn't look at Shepard.

Sliding down from the table, Shepard moved to stand in front of Jack and put her hands on the hurting woman's shoulders. She kept her voice low and soft when she said, "But you're not even giving him that much, and he deserves far better. So suck it up and stop being an asshole." When Jack finally turned to meet her gaze, the smear of mascara and tears on the woman's face brought a heavy sigh from Shepard. "Your makeup is all over the place."

Using her thumbs, she started taming the black smudges beneath Jack's eyes, using her palm to rub the tears from the biotic's cheeks. It surprised her when Jack didn't slap her hands away. She shifted her gaze back to Jack's eyes, moving a hand to the back of her head, and leaned in to bump her forehead against the other woman's without really thinking about it.

Jack surprised her again, palming the back of Shepard's head, fingers clutching at her hair to keep her there, their foreheads pressed together. "Alliance … thanks for—just thanks."

"Anytime, Jack." Shepard smiled and squeezed Jack's shoulder. "I've got to go talk to EDI and Joker about this IFF. Why don't you go to the med bay and sit with Garrus for a little while? I'm sure Kasumi will be happy to see another face, too."

Jack nodded a little against Shepard and let her go. "Yeah."

Shepard left the biotic in the comm room, still sitting on the table, and made her way to the cockpit, wishing she had about a gallon of Grundan Krul's coffee to get her through the rest of the day. Hell, even a gallon of crap coffee, but there she was off the stuff for the sake of her health. Gods, who had she become? She eased herself down into the copilot's chair and let out a weary sigh.

"Hey, Commander." Joker's gaze flicked to her before moving back to the Normandy's controls. "So, the quarians are really resettling Rannoch, huh?"

She smiled, letting herself feel the pride in that victory. "Yep."

"Think the quarians and geth will become BFFs?" He glanced at her again, one corner of his mouth pulled up in a smirk.

She chuckled and turned a little in the chair, wedging her shoulder against the back and laying the side of her head against the leather. "Well, if Lia and Legion are any indication …."

"Right," he said, dragging out the word. "So, what's up? EDI said you wanted to talk about the IFF."

"Yeah, I needed to …" She rubbed her eyes with a thumb and middle finger, struggling to remember what she might've already told them about it all, but everything started to mix and tangle together in her head; her memories, Jane's, the other Shepards … she didn't know which way was up anymore. "When you install the reaper IFF, you both need to be extra careful."

Joker scoffed. "Well, yeah, it's reaper tech."

"In Jane's time, you weren't careful enough. You thought EDI was being paranoid with all of her tests, and the damn thing sent out a signal, transmitting the Normandy's position to the collectors. EDI didn't detect it until it was too late; in part because you wouldn't listen to her. So, don't get cocky." She glanced over his shoulder at EDI's hologram. "EDI, you asked us to take a shuttle for our next mission, anyway, just in case. The collector ship showed up while the whole team was away." She looked back at Joker. "They killed or kidnapped the entire crew, and you had to help EDI free herself from her shackles so she could clear the collectors from the Normandy."

His hands stopped moving over the controls for a second or two. "Shit."

"Mhmm." She fought back a yawn, sitting down in the darkened cockpit, the stars zooming by in her peripherals was starting to lull her to sleep. "So, uh, let's make sure it doesn't happen this time."

"Thank you for the warning, Shepard," EDI said. "I'll be more vigilant. Now that I know what to expect and my shackles are already removed, I'm certain I'll be able to circumvent this problem. I won't let our crew be taken."

Shepard smiled at the AI. "Glad to hear it, EDI."


	76. Chapter 53: A Fine Marine

**Chapter 53: A Fine Marine**

"EDI," Shepard said, having pulled chairs into the comm room for her and Garrus, "can you patch into James' suit's camera? And open the comm channel through the room's speakers?"

"Right away, Shepard." EDI's blue hologram flattened out, forming a screen above the center of the table.

A second later, the shaky image of the blood-splattered Cerberus ship came into view, James' assault rifle held at the ready out in front of him. He stopped to play a log, the all too familiar face and voice of a man she'd never met appearing on the screen in front of James. "Hey, EDI, can you scrub this place, get all these logs and data for Shepard?"

"I already am, James." EDI's voice sounded through the comm with a faint tinge of smugness.

He chuckled. "That's my girl. Alright, Sparks why don't you crack open the safe over there. Man, Kasumi's going to hate I said that to anyone else but her."

"Why don't you have a nickname for her?" Tali asked from somewhere off screen, but it didn't matter, Shepard knew the exact location of the safe James mentioned.

"Oh, I do." The sexual implication strong enough in his voice, Shepard practically saw the lewd eyebrow wiggle and one-sided smirk accompanying those words. "But it's not one you'll ever here."

"Keelah, why did I ask?" Tali said in the soft, grumbled tone she used by way of complaint, yet loud enough to be picked up through the mic.

Shepard glanced over as the door to the comm room slid open, and Jack stepped inside. Making her way to Garrus' side, Jack draped her arm over his shoulder, and he slid an arm around her waist, pulling her in a little closer. Shepard grinned, hearing the low, satisfied hum coming from him before turning her attention back to the screen.

" _He looks happy. Happier than he's been since you found him on Omega."_ Jane hummed in the back of Shepard's mind. " _They're good for each other."_

"Yeah, they are," Shepard thought.

Legion moved into view, collecting Medi-gel from the first-aid kits on the wall. Turning to the right, James sent Grunt forward to open a door.

"The reaper is about to put up the kinetic barriers, you're going to feel some shaking," Shepard said.

"Brace yourselves, mis amigos." The image bobbed as James apparently nodded at Grunt.

The krogan tapped his fist against the green-glowing door release, and the door slid open. Shepard felt herself tense, hands and the muscles of her calves twitching as her body tried to stabilize itself against the shudder running through the reaper and Cerberus ship, even though she wasn't actually there. James led his team forward, ignoring the console to the left, probably not seeing the point in listening to the log with EDI data-mining the place and Shepard there to tell him everything he needed to know.

"You'll have enemies crawling up over the edge on your right just past those crates," Shepard said as he made his way down the handful of stairs. "More will come from the other side a little further up."

"Samara, you're up on the right with me. Throw those pendejos back over the edge. Grunt move ahead and take point. Jacob, you go up with him and provide biotic support. Sparks, Legion, be ready to pick off any we miss."

"Any _you_ miss, hehehe." Grunt moved ahead, Jacob right behind him.

"Hey, Scars!" James hollered over the sound of gunfire. "You watching this, too? Might learn a thing or two."

"Keep talking, Vega." Garrus chuffed, eyes glued to the screen. "You just let one slip past you."

She snorted, biting off a laugh before it escaped her lips.

"Well yeah." James paused to fire off a few rounds. "Gotta let Sparks and Legion have a little fun."

"I'm here for technical support, I don't need anymore fun." Tali's voice broke through the comm channel. "And Legion's a geth. He doesn't actually _enjoy_ battle."

"Creator Zorah is correct," Legion added. "We do not experience enjoyment. Fun is a concept we understand only in theory."

"So, think of a better excuse for your sloppiness." Tali sent Chatika into the fray, excitement filling her voice, despite her protest, as she ordered the drone to attack.

"Ow, damn." James let a few more bullets fly, ripping through an abomination. "Hey, I'll remember that, Sparks."

" _I wish he'd take this a little more seriously."_ The feeling of Jane's exasperation pulled a sigh from Shepard. " _I know this James didn't lose his whole team on Fehl Prime—he's not full of guilt and anger—and that's good, but he's got to know there's a time for fun and games and standing in a reaper corpse being attacked on all sides really isn't it."_

"You do that." The snark in Tali's voice brought another smirk to Shepard's face.

After a few more seconds of the steady thwamp of biotics and bark of gunfire, Jacob called the all clear and they were moving again.

"Don't bother lowering your weapons." Shepard leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees.

"Ah, c'mon, that's weak!" Jack yelled at the screen, commenting on several missed shots aimed at a husk floating through the air.

A husk jumped on James, his camera shaking all over the place as he struggled to throw the moaning, once-human creature off him. For one second, reality shifted around Shepard, and she stood there, in the thick of battle, husks and abominations swarming her. Hands tightening into fists, she rubbed them against her thighs and blinked her eyes, chasing the images away. Finally, James flung the husk free and filled it full of holes.

She took a deep breath and let it out slow, barely conscious of slipping into the breathing patterns from her training with Thane. Garrus laid a hand on her knee, and she wrapped her fingers around his.

"You alright, Alliance?" The rare sound of genuine concern filled Jack's tone.

Shepard glanced at her, offering her the best smile Shepard could muster at the moment. "I'm good."

" _Liar. This is taking almost as much out of you as if you'd gone there yourself,"_ Jane said.

"No point in saying anything about it, though.," Shepard thought, focusing on her breathing. "EDI is monitoring me—like always. If things get too bad, Dr. Chakwas will come in to sedate me. I'm not leaving the comm room while they're out there unless I absolutely have to."

" _Of course not."_

Jack watched Shepard a moment longer, her gaze heavy on the back of Shepard's neck, before turning her attention back to the screen. "You've got to be fucking kidding me! That was the easiest shot, how the hell did you miss?"

"Uh, Ídolo, think you can mute your end?" James turned to face an abomination coming at him from the side. "It's getting a little hard to tell if it's Jack or a husk screeching in my ear."

Jack scoffed. "Screw you."

James let out a short bark of laughter. "Kinda busy right now, later."

Jack snorted, grinning when Shepard glanced at her. "In your dreams."

"Maybe." James turned just in time to see a fresh horde of reaper troops headed his way. "Dios, they're everywhere. Grunt! At your six! Samara, get him some support!"

" _Maybe I'm just tired, getting pissy in my old age."_ Jane chuckled. " _He is doing what needs to be done despite the chatter and jokes."_

"He's a fine marine, a good leader," Shepard thought. "His relationship with them is different than ours, he's not normally they're CO, but he has a solid rapport with them. He's working with what he already has, and they're following his lead."

Grunt spun around, charging right at the husks and abominations. "I AM KROGAN!"

James took half a second to aim and squeezed the trigger, bullets barely missing the charging krogan as he let loose on the groaning horde. An abomination exploded right next to Grunt, washing him with flaming goop, but the krogan shook it off and threw himself into the next one as if it didn't faze him in the slightest.

"You're not far from where we first encountered Legion—where Jane first encountered him. He's normally up on your left, providing sniper coverage as I approach but is gone before I can get over there." Shepard reached up, pinching the bridge of her nose, sifting through the flood of memories overwhelming her all at once. "There might be something nearby he needs, and you're probably going to encounter your first scion around the corner."

"Yeah." James sounded every bit as serious as Jane wanted from him. "I remember those cabróns, we fought them on Fehl Prime."

Her lips pressed into a frown, but she tried to keep her tone a little lighter. "Good, then you remember they like to fuck with your shields and knock you on your ass."

" _Target the head and hump,"_ Jane said, " _or the blue thing on their back."_

Shepard scooted a little closer to the edge of her seat. "Jane said the head, hump, and blue spot on the back are especially vulnerable."

"I got it," James said as the scion came lumbering into view like clockwork.

Her hands twitched, itching to level a gun she wasn't holding at the distorted, mutated mess. Garrus' hand turned beneath hers, long fingers wrapping around her hand and squeezing. On the screen, Samara and Jacob flung biotics, knocking back husks and abominations or pulling them into the air away from Grunt and James, letting them focus on taking down the scion. Tali and Legion shot the soulless creatures the biotics lined up for them, most dead before the blue glow dissipated and they fell back to the ground.

Once the flow of groaning, mindless enemies had been temporarily staunched, the team moved forward. Corpses of the Cerberus crew dangled in the air, impaled on dragon's teeth, jutting upward to fill the cavernous space beyond. Shepard swallowed and clenched her jaw, memories that weren't hers overlapping the images on the screen.

James stopped near the edge, staring up at the bodies. "Dios."

"Shepard called them dragon's teeth." Tali's voice filled the comm. "The geth—I mean the heretics—used them to turn people into husks on Eden Prime. We saw them on the Citadel, too, when we fought Saren. And a few other places where heretics sat up outposts."

"Technology of the old machines." Legion's optic plates fluttered when James turned to look at him.

"They can't be saved. We should keep moving," said Grunt.

"We detect an unusual power source nearby." Legion gestured up and out toward the catwalks looming in the distance, high above the dragon's teeth. "We believe it may be of use."

"Alright." James turned from side to side, the camera passing over crates, tanks, and consoles. "How the hell do we get up there?"

"I believe I can be of assistance." EDI's voice sounded through the feed. "Using the input from your camera, I can plot a course and link it to your heads up display, allowing you to have a visual of the steps to take to reach the power source. It will require climbing and traversing dangerous terrain." She paused. "If you rather not take the risk, I'm sure you will eventually find a more traditional access point if you look long enough."

Jane made a warning sound, just a soft groan of disagreement in the back of Shepard's mind. " _One wrong move and they'll fall to their deaths."_

"No, no unnecessary risks." Shepard shook her head despite being unseen by the ground team. "There's a door nearby, I marked it on the map, it'll take you to another area of the ship. It's where I first laid eyes on Legion, standing on a platform. There's better access points in there that don't involve trying to skirt a gaping chasm. My gut says you can find your way from there."

"Very well, Shepard." The disappointment in EDI's tone rang through unmistakable, undoubtedly a ploy to get her way.

Snorting, Shepard grinned. "Though, I'm sure EDI's plan will be just as helpful in the next room."

"Work for you, Legion?" James asked.

Legion bobbed his head. "Yes."

"Alright, let's go." James waved his arm, motioning the team onward.

Shepard leaned back in the chair and rolled her head back and forth, trying to ease the tension in her neck and shoulders. She glanced up, brows knitting together in confusion as Jack moved to stand behind her. Nudging her head forward, Jack's hands set to work loosening the knots in her neck. Closing her eyes, Shepard sighed, trying not to let the sounds of battle undo all of Jack's hard work. She opened her eyes again when the gunfire stopped and with it Jack's kneading, hands resting motionless on Shepard's shoulders.

"Lead the way, EDI," James said.

A moment later, he started moving, making his way over to a stack of crates. Unable to see whatever EDI showed him on his HUD, Shepard assumed the AI knew what she was doing. James climbed up on the crates, from there he pulled himself up onto one of the tanks lining the walls and turned, holding his hand out to Samara to help pull her up. Legion scrambled up after her, moving with far more ease and grace than any of the organics. He and James squatted down, bridging the gap to Tali, each taking one of her hands and lifting her up onto the tanks.

"Jump over to the next one." James turned, looking back to the row of tanks ahead of them. He watched, waiting for the others to listen before waving Jacob over next, holding out his hand to the Cerberus agent. He helped pull Jacob up and then returned to the edge, reaching out to Grunt.

"Move." Grunt brushed aside James' hand.

James paced back a few steps, and Shepard watched as Grunt did the same. Taking what little of a running start possible over the span of two crates, the krogan pushed himself forward, meaty forearms slamming into the metal with a thud as he grabbed the tank's support frame. The screech and groan of metal starting to give way under his weight filled the air, making Shepard cringe, but it held as he used it to pull himself up.

Pushing forward, James lept over to the next tank, easing his way past the waiting group. A thunderous crack a moment later had him whipping his head back around the other way. Grunt knelt on the second tank, dents in the metal beneath his knee and fist.

" _That can't be good."_

"Uh, EDI …" Uncertainty filled James' voice. "... I think Grunt's going to blow us all to hell if he has to keep jumping between tanks."

"Rerouting." EDI paused. "A new path has been identified."

"Gracias." James started moving again, apparently following the new path she designated, hopping across one more tank.

"De nada."

"EDI! You speak Spanish?" Grin evident in his voice, he eased himself out on the side of the tank.

"I am capable of speaking in every language stored in my databases, James," EDI said, the faintest hint of smugness coloring her tone. "Cerberus provided me with nearly every human language spoken, including what information survives of those you call the 'dead languages.'" She continued to talk as James pulled himself up to a narrow catwalk parallel to the where they wanted to go. "With my shackles removed, I'm able to incorporate any other languages I find data on. To better accommodate our crew, I have added the most commonly spoken dialects of krogan, turian, quarian, drell, batarian, salarian, and asari. However, I haven't found reason to use these, since everyone is equipped with a translator."

"Damn." James got to his feet and turned, reaching back out toward Jacob. "Maybe I should start calling you Rosetta."

"I believe that is a reference to the Rosetta Stone," EDI said as James helped everyone up, "the granodiorite stele inscribed with a decree from King Ptolemy the Fifth in three languages, later discovered in seventeen ninety-nine and used to translate Egyptian hieroglyphics."

"Uhhh, yeah." He edged out, turning sideways to creep along the narrow beam connecting to the next catwalk. "Sure."

"Assigning nicknames to people you know appears to be a sign of affectionate feelings for those individuals." EDI paused. "Rosetta would be an appropriate nickname, I would find this choice acceptable."

James chuckled, the camera shaking as the angle started to tilt, and Shepard sucked in a sharp breath. Biotic flames surrounded him, flaring up to fill the screen. "Shit." He turned his head, looking at Samara.

Jack started massaging Shepard's shoulders again, and she felt herself relax, the act reminding her she needed to stay calm.

The Justicar smiled and dipped her head, pulling her biotics back once the marine righted himself once more. "Please be careful, Lieutenant. It would be unfortunate if you fell."

"Ha, yeah." Turning to look back out over room, glancing at the floor below before the catwalk in the distance, he started moving again. "Thanks."

He made it across and stepped to the side, watching as the others followed suit. With everyone safely on the catwalk, he turned and waited a few seconds before moving on. Shepard watched with rapt attention, the team crossing into territory she had no familiarity with. The catwalks seemed endless, stretching through the reaper's corpse. Husks and abominations scaled the walls in the distance, howling as they tried to find a way over to James and the others. A few of them losing their footing, falling into the darkness.

Twice the team passed an area where the nightmares did make their way up onto the catwalks. With no real room to flank or even really maneuver and nothing to take cover behind, the team fought haphazardly, bottlenecked and forced to shoot around one another. It was there the biotics proved to be the most useful, and James didn't complain once when Jacob nudged past him to fling two husks over the side.

Eventually the catwalks wound around, taking them back out over the dragon's teeth they'd seen earlier. James called Legion up, letting him take point while he tracked down the source he'd detected. After two more attacks, Legion turned left, moving out onto a wide platform. At the far end, a pillar stood with deep, purple lights tracing lines through the matte, black metal. The sight of it made Shepard's skin crawl; it looked similar to the prothean beacons, but it screamed 'indoctrination'.

" _What the fuck is that?"_ Jane sounded every bit as unnerved as Shepard felt.

"James," Shepard warned, "you need to stay back. All organics need to stay away from that thing."

James held up a fist, halting his team. "Legion, we'll wait here."

The geth stopped long enough to dip his head at James. "Yes."

The lights grew brighter, pulsating as a deep, resonate thrum sounded from the pillar, loud enough to reach Shepard's ears through the comms. Dark, wispy tendrils reached out, meeting Legion halfway, wrapping around him and skirting through him, filling every little opening in his platform before slipping away from him, ineffective as they retreated. James shifted around, the camera almost seeming to shudder as he stood guard.

Reaching the pillar, Legion began scanning the piece of reaper tech. He reached out, and the second his hand made contact, a pulse shot out from the device, sweeping over the geth before racing across the empty space to slam into James and the others, knocking him back. Tali's scream echoed through the comm, loud and deafening.

"Tali!" Shepard shot out of her chair, heart racing, and slammed her palms down on the table, leaning in toward the screen. "James! Talk to me, what's happening?" She held her breath, calling out to him again when she got no response, "James!" Damn it, all she saw was the floor, Legion's legs in the distance, and the lower part of the artifact. "Vega!"

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you. Stop screaming." The camera jerked around as James dragged himself back to his feet and shook his head. "Everyone alright?" He turned, and Shepard exhaled, seeing everyone in one piece.

Jacob pulled Tali back over the edge of the catwalk, his arms and biotics wrapped around her while she clung to him. The quarian trembled visibly as Jacob sat her back on the ground, but she was alive and her suit seemed intact. Samara pushed her fingers into the floor, working a knee under her before getting her footing. Grunt appeared unfazed by the blast, clearly the only one. They were all alive, thank gods.

"My scans indicate the pulse is an alarm of sorts," EDI said. "While it does not appear to hold any indoctrination capabilities, I believe it has signaled your location to the remaining ground troops. I suggest you don't linger here much longer."

No sooner than the words left EDI's non-existent mouth, dark shapes flooded over the edges of the platform, heading straight for Legion—and fast. Their resemblance to the keepers on the Citadel seemed unmistakable, only they looked as if they'd been dipped in tar and then rolled through scrap metal, sharp, jagged edges sticking out at odd angles. James didn't stop to ask questions, lifting his assault rifle and opening fire. Some of them diverted, moving toward James, but most of them stayed the course. Within moments, James was on the move, dancing around the area to get a better shot, making her lose track of Legion.

" _What the hell are those things?"_ Jane gave the impression she narrowed her eyes at the screen, struggling to make sense of what she saw there. " _We've never seen them before. They're like … like …"_

"Wardens," Shepard whispered, not entirely sure what crevice of her mind the word crawled out of, but found it fitting all the same.

One of the wardens exploded, sending shrapnel through the air and knocking James back, covering the camera in thick, blue-green goop, streaked through with the black substance coating them. "Shields are down." Something, probably his hand, swiped away the slime, giving her eyes on the fight again.

"Shepard." Garrus groaned, dragging her attention to him for just a second as he pulled himself out of his chair.

She turned her gaze back to the screen, seeing the black, smoky tendrils reaching out toward James. "Vega, you need to get back. You're getting too close to the artifact."

"Shepard," Garrus said again, easing up next to her and laying a hand on her shoulder. "You need to calm yourself down or Dr. Chakwas is going to come in here."

"I'm monitoring her, Garrus, she hasn't yet reached dangerous levels of brain activity." EDI's voice softened. "But he's right, Shepard. Perhaps it would be best if you don't continue to watch the ground team's progress."

"Not going to happen, EDI." Biting her lip, she looked at Garrus, the worry clear in his beautiful, blue eyes. It tore at her, she hated seeing him upset, having him constantly be so concerned for her. She sucked a deep breath in through her nose and nodded. "I'll try harder." Sliding her arm around his waist and stepping into his side, she turned her gaze back to the screen. "I can't leave them, though."

"I know." He hummed, wrapping his arm around her back to hold her shoulder and pressed his mouth against the side of her head.

The battle still waged, husks and abominations joining the fray, but James retreated from the pillar, and as he turned, Shepard saw Legion rejoined them. He emptied another clip at the reaper troops before glancing over his shoulder. "Fall back to the walkway. Grunt, you first, if they come at us from the other side, I need you there to take point." James walked backwards, keeping his gun aimed at the enemies swarming in from the platform. "Grunt! Now! Go!"

Grunt snarled but did as ordered, slamming the butt of his shotgun into the face of a husk before leveling it on an abomination and pulling the trigger as he spun, running for the catwalk. Waiting for all the others to file in, James took to the catwalk last, holding the reaper troops at bay with his assault rifle. Getting a little space between his team and the mindless creatures all trying to pile onto the catwalk at once, James flung a flag grenade out into their midst. The explosion tore through half a dozen of them, knocking a handful more over the edges, but still they came. He tossed another frag grenade, hitting a burning abomination, making the explosion far more spectacular, sending flames and shrapnel flying, ripping through reaper troops and the catwalk alike. Metal screeched, the railing rending free from the base, panels buckling under the weight of the troops.

" _It's giving out, they're going to fall!"_ Jane yelled, making Shepard wince.

"Shit! Go, go, go!" James turned, shoving at Jacob's back as they ran for the other end, the sound of bolts snapping hurrying them along.

He slipped, grabbing onto the railing to keep from falling as the catwalk tilted beneath their feet, forcing them to keep moving up a slope. Glancing behind him, Shepard saw the catwalk torn in two, one piece dangling at the far end for a second before falling into oblivion. Wardens turned, making their way back to the platform with the artifact, showing the same indifference of their less-altered kin on the Citadel. Husks and abominations paced the area, some climbing down over the side, others turning and shambling back with the wardens. Looking forward again, James pulled himself along, watching as Grunt reached safer ground and turned to help the others.

Breath heaving over the comm, James called out, "EDI?"

"I'm here, James," EDI said, her voice sounding reassuring.

"Can you get us back on track to the IFF?" He reached the end, palm slapping into Grunt's outstretched hand.

"Right away." EDI fell silent for a moment. "I have calculated your route. I will send it to your heads up display when you are oriented."

More of the catwalk fell as Grunt helped James onto stable ground. The marine bent over, hands braced on his knees, breathing slowing. "Legion, did you get what you needed off that thing?"

" _Too close."_ Relief swept through the link between Jane and Shepard.

"Agreed," Shepard thought.

Legion's feet shifted into view. "Yes."

"Good." James nodded, straightening to look at the geth. "Let me know if you pick up on anything else you need."

"Yes." Legion adjusted his grip on his rifle.

"Alright, EDI, I'm ready." James' camera swept over the team, jerking as he nodded. "Let's keep moving before more show up to investigate the blast."

Shepard let out a heavy breath and turned, tugging Garrus along with her back to their chairs. She helped him sit before taking her own seat, scanning the room to find Jack missing. "Where'd Jack go?"

"Down to get us something to eat." He took her hand, brushing his thumb over her knuckles.

"Oh." Eyebrows inching up, she smiled. "That's nice of her."

"She's worried about you. About both of us." He chuffed, tightening his grip on her hand. "I keep telling her I'm fine, but …."

"She's still blaming herself." Shepard sighed. "I'd hoped our talk helped."

"It did. I don't know what you said to her, but whatever it was … it got her to come see me. Thank you, by the way, but you know Jack. Hmmm. She's stubborn." He grinned at her, mandibles flaring. "I guess I have a thing for stubborn."

Shepard chuckled, leaning over to kiss him. Running her free hand down his mandible, she smirked, letting a little sultry heat enter her voice. "Maybe stubborn just has a thing for you, what with your sexy voice and bad-boy, vigilante streak."

"Seriously, Shepard?" Tali's chastising voice filled the room. "We can hear you two, you know?"

Smile widening, Shepard kept her gaze locked with his as she responded, "You can't tell me you don't think his voice is sexy, Tali."

The quarian scoffed. "Keelah."

Garrus laughed, the sound easing into a soft hum as he hooked a knuckle under Shepard's chin and tugged her back to him, pressing his mouth against hers, tongue slipping past her lips to dance across hers before retreating once more. "I miss you, Dawn," he said, his voice gravely, soft and low, filled with a lustful hunger that made her skin prickle.

"I miss you, too," she whispered, closing her eyes and pressing her head against his. "And I'm sorry I keep putting you through all this shit."

He hushed her, cradling the back of her head to hold her there a moment longer. She sucked in a deep breath, pulling away when the sounds of battle filled the room once more. She watched as James and the others fought their way through more reaper troops, starting to feel blessedly detached from it all as she focused on the feel of Garrus' hand on her thigh.

Jack returned as the ground team started moving again, Thane following behind her, both carrying overladen trays. They sat them down on the table before doling out bottles of water and steaming bowls of stew. Thane glanced at the screen before turning his back to it, leaning against the table to face Shepard. She smiled at him, grateful to have the three of them there with her.

"Anyone dead yet?" Jack folded her legs under herself, sitting on the floor next to Garrus.

"Not yet." His mandibles fluttered before flaring out to the sides. "Not that James isn't trying _really_ hard."

"Come on over if you think you can do better." James' voice drew everyone's attention to the screen.

Thane chuckled, glancing back at Garrus. "I'm sure Shepard wouldn't have sent him if she didn't have faith in his ability to lead the team."

"You hear him, Scars?" James snickered. "Shepard has faith in _me_."

Garrus flicked his mandible at the screen, but directed his response to Thane. "I'm sure she wouldn't have sent him at all if I wasn't still recovering."

She blew across a spoonful of stew and met Thane's gaze. "James has this." She grinned. "If he didn't, Garrus wouldn't feel the need to whip out the metaphorical measuring stick to see who has the biggest dick."

Laughter filled the room, both coming through the comms and from Jack, overshadowing the light chuckle shaking Thane's shoulders. Garrus chuffed, but smirked when she glanced at him. She winked before taking her bite, the stew hot and savory, easing even more of the tension she'd been holding on to since James and his team stepped foot onto the dead reaper.

"It's alright, Ídolo." James seemed to put a little more swagger in his step. "We all know who'd win."

Garrus laughed, dry and mocking, shaking his head. "Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night, Vega."

Shepard leaned back in the chair, resting an ankle on the opposite knee, smiling to herself as she ate. On the screen, Legion detoured the group again, stopping at a console to gather data—thankfully without incident. Shepard finished her stew while he combed the reaper's systems, trying to ignore the fact they'd already been on the reaper longer than she'd ever been in her memories—Jane's and the other's memories. Not her memories. She was never there.

" _You are us, Dawn. More so now than ever. Does it really matter if you were physically ever there?"_ Jane sounded resigned as she thought about the faces now missing from her dark world in Shepard's mind. " _The memories are in your head, too. Even now your brain is forming new synapses, reshaping itself to accommodate the memories of the lives you stole."_

"It does matter," Shepard thought, ignoring the accusation, refusing to apologize again for doing what she needed to do. "I am my own person, and I refuse to lose myself in all of this."

" _I once said the same thing. I thought I was strong enough to withstand whatever hell the galaxy threw at me, so long as I had Kaidan by my side and my best friend at my six."_ Memories of Kaidan's hand on her face colored Jane's words, giving them life and meaning beyond what anyone else might ever understand. " _And then I sacrificed myself to save the galaxy, but it wasn't enough. I woke up again in someone else's body and did it all over again, and again, and again. The more crowded it got in here, the more voices and memories … how could I really tell where I ended and they began?"_

"Then how can you fault me for thinking it matters?" Shepard thought. "For wanting to keep myself as separate as I can?"

" _Because … your insistence, your words and actions when it comes to us … it's all so invalidating."_ The faintest hint of wounded pride seeped through in Jane's words. " _Like we're nothing but a burden, a disease with a few helpful side effects, but a disease nonetheless. We're not people to you, we're tools. Symbiotic parasites you've learned to devour for strength."_

Shepard's brow furrowed and she swallowed, letting Jane's words sink in and settle in the back of her mind, thinking, "That's not fair. I've defended you and your actions to the people I love, and I've fought to keep you together, despite your antagonism and body-snatching joy rides. I'm doing the best I can, but sometimes you just ask too much. I can't give you everything, Jane. I can't give you my life." She felt Jane retreat, and she turned her attention fully back to the screen.

The team kept moving, Legion stopping twice more to examine the strange, unnerving pillars of indoctrination, and both times his meddling sent out a shockwave, bringing a fresh horde of the wardens scurrying to defend the architecture. Working a hunch, Shepard told James to hold fire. Her gut told her so long as Legion didn't attempt to damage the artifact, and the team didn't shoot at them, the wardens wouldn't attack. Instead they simply surrounded the geth, swarming around him, putting themselves between the pillar and Legion until he left. Unfortunately, it was only a matter of seconds before the abominations and husks showed up, forcing James and the others to start shooting. Those extra seconds counted, though, giving Legion the chance to get whatever he needed and make his way back to the team, allowing them a faster retreat that didn't involve blowing up catwalks with people still on them.

Eventually, they found their way back to the room with the IFF. Tali and Legion set to work right away, securing the IFF to ensure it wouldn't transmit any data until EDI could perform all the tests she needed.

"The drive core is in the next room, there's a console inside Legion was using when we caught back up to him again. Let him do whatever he needs to do, and give him cover." Shepard pushed herself back to her feet. Setting her bowl down on the empty tray next to Thane, she pressed her palms against the table, leaning closer to the screen. "The reaper troops are going to be coming at you hard and fast from both sides. Once he has what he needs, you're going to need to shoot the drive core, but it has a shutter that will close over it every so often. Once the core is out, you need to run like hell."

"Copy that." James checked his assault rifle. "Everyone hear Shepard?" He looked around him, getting nods and 'yeahs' from everyone before jerking his head toward the door. "Good, let's do this."

Shepard took a deep breath. "EDI, tell Joker to be ready."

"We are ready, Shepard," EDI said.

James opened the door, and the team stepped inside, fanning out and taking up position wherever he ordered. Legion made his way to the console, Tali and Jacob taking up position beside him. Samara stood in the middle of the walk, situated between the stairs on either side. Grunt moved down the stairs to the left of the door, and James took up position opposite of him on the right. Shepard couldn't see Legion from James' current position, but she trusted the geth to do whatever he needed as quickly as possible. The rush started, abominations and husks crawling up over the edges to charge the team.

Thane turned to face the screen, too, and rested a hand on the small of her back, offering her silent support as she clenched her jaw and fists, staring at the screen unblinking as if her sheer force of will might kill the reaper troops. A husk jumped on Tali, and Shepard hissed, holding her breath until Jacob flung it off of her with his biotics.

"Alright, people, we're getting overrun spread out like this." James glanced over his shoulder, giving Shepard a view of Grunt charging into an abomination only to have it explode in his face. "Pull back closer to Legion's position. Keep them off the stairs." Following his own orders, the marine moved, walking backwards even as he fired on a husk whose head popped up over the edge of the platform.

"We have gathered all data available and are ready to assist." Legion's voice came through over the comm.

"Focus on the drive core, I'll cover you." Grunt jerked his head toward the drive core looming over James' shoulder, unseen by Shepard for the moment.

A second later, James gave the krogan a sharp nod, turning his back to Grunt and taking aim at the glowing mass effect core. "Legion, hit the core. Everyone else, keep those pendejos off of us."

"Target confirmed." Legion lifted his assault rifle and started firing as the shutter opened.

Despite the occasional grunt of nearby struggle, James kept his focus on the drive core, firing round after round into the blue, metal-encased sphere until the shutter closed again. He turned, reloading, and sent a spray of ammo flying at the newest cluster of husks to climb over the edge. As soon as the shutter opened again, he turned back to his task, slowly whittling away the core's structure. Shepard knew—countless memories keeping track for her—they were almost through the crystalline structure keeping the mass effect energy in place, but of course, the shutter slid closed again. James muttered a curse under his breath.

"You're almost there, Vega." She kept her voice steady, hoping to cool the marine's growing frustration before he became reckless. "Just a couple more hits."

He didn't respond to her words of encouragement, nor did she expect him to. The constant flood of reaper troops picked up momentum as the last remnants of consciousness the reaper still possessed threw everything it had at the team—a last ditch effort to hold onto its existence. Now aware they inhabited the dying, sentient machine, Shepard didn't understand why the wardens didn't show up to protect the core. The scions she understood, they were too slow and lumbering, unable to climb up from the depths the way the husks and abominations did, but surely the wardens could handle it after what she'd already seen them do. Yet they remained hidden in the shadows, only coming out when Legion disturbed one of the artifacts … maybe the pulse the pillars shot out did more to control the wardens movements than she thought.

Blood and gore soaked the floors, but the enemies kept coming, slipping in the viscera of their fallen before pulling themselves back to their feet and charging up the stairs. Grunt's yells became more and more primal, the camera showing him breaking away from the group to slam into husks, bloodrage taking hold of him. Judging by the infrequency of Jacob's biotic attacks, Shepard thought his strength must be flagging, leaving Samara to pick up his slack. The shutter slid open again, and within a couple of seconds, James and Legion shattered the core.

"Ha! Yeah! That's what I'm talking about." James threw his hands out, catching his balance as the reaper shuddered, starting its descent into the system's sun.

"Good work, Lieutenant." Shepard let out a heavy breath and leaned into Thane's side, already feeling the Normandy shifting into motion, on the way to retrieve her crew. "Now get the hell out of there."


	77. Chapter 54: I had Your Six

**Chapter 54: I had Your Six**

"Talk to me, EDI." Shepard leaned against the interior of the AI core's doorframe, keeping the doors from sliding closed. She glanced at Legion's inert platform, curled in on itself on the floor. "Should I be getting the crew ready for the collectors to breach or are we good?"

"Legion and I have networked together in an attempt to better identify and isolate all signals capable of broadcasting our location." The blue hologram popped up and flickered twice before stabilizing. "There are defense mechanisms in place, and we are constantly battling attempts to seize control of our programing. I am sorry, Shepard, but I need to devote as much of my processing power to this as possible right now. I will notify you with updates when I am able." The blue hologram flickered again and collapsed, winking out of existence, before Shepard could apologize or say anything else.

" _Either way, the collectors won't catch us off guard this time."_ Jane sounded so determined, Shepard almost believed everything might just go off without a hitch. " _We're not going to leave this ship until we're certain it's safe, and EDI's already unshackled so if anything does go wrong, she'll be able to help defend the ship from the start."_

"Yeah," Shepard muttered, rubbing the heel of her hand over her forehead. "Maybe."

She blew out a heavy breath and glanced at Lia, sitting at the back of the core, legs dangling over the edge of the bench with her shoulders slumped. The quarian shrugged before hopping down and walking over to stand in front of Shepard.

"How are you holding up, Lia'Vael vas Qwib-Qwib?" Shepard turned, draping her arm over Lia's shoulder, urging her toward the door. "Walk with me. Your AI boyfriend is out of commission, and you can't spend all of your time locked away in this tiny room."

"Legion _is not_ my boyfriend." Lia giggled but did as asked, leaving the AI core and moving with Shepard through the med bay.

"Uh huh." Shepard snorted, flashing a smile at her. "You spend more time with him than I do with Garrus and Thane combined, and he's every bit as protective over you."

"The commander has a point, Lia," Dr. Chakwas said, the faintest hint of a smile playing at the corners of her mouth, gaze focused on her work in front of her.

Lia made a sound half scoff, half exasperated sigh and shook her head, making the doctor chuckle and Shepard grin. "He's … my best friend, like a brother."

"God, I hope you don't mean you let your brother play around in your suit," Kasumi said from her spot, propped up on one the beds.

Shepard let out a short bark of a laugh and shook her head. "Kasumi. No."

"Too much?" Kasumi shrugged, wincing a little with the motion, but still a smile spread over her face.

She looked better and better everyday, slowly easing the overwhelming guilt Shepard felt when she first found the woman pinned to the hangar wall, being tortured by Vasir, all for the sake of trying to get Shepard to surrender. Kasumi had been given leave to return to the hangar, to her own cot not far from James', but the thief chose to remain in the med bay for the time being. She claimed it was easier than going back and forth to the med bay every time she needed bandages changed or pain relief, but Shepard suspected Kasumi might never be comfortable in the hangar again. Really, who could blame her?

" _She is looking better, but she's not going to be able to handle the collector base. We'll have to leave her behind. Shit, we might have to leave Garrus behind, too. Who will lead the second team? Miranda? James?"_ Panic started to well up, replacing the determination coming from Jane just a moment before. " _Dr. Chakwas is probably going to try to talk us out of going, what with the way you've been lately."_

"Doesn't matter," Shepard thought, "it isn't going to happen. There's no way we're sitting out on the collector base. We have to be there, it's as simple as that. The rest we'll figure out when the time comes."

"Keelah, you're all terrible." Lia shook her head, silver eyes rolling behind her mask.

"Alright, alright." Shepard steered the girl towards the med bay door. "Let's go check on Tali, she had a suit rupture while fighting off a husk that got too close."

"Then she's probably got an infection, I'm sure her suit sealed off the rupture and administered antibiotics." Lia shrugged. "She'll be fine in a few days."

" _We need her to be fine sooner,"_ Jane groused, slipping closer and closer to that dark place of hers; the place where reason and logic evaded her, leaving only fear and regret, twisting together to create an ugly, deep-seated madness. " _We need Garrus to be fine sooner, too. We need him with us, and we can't afford to wait, not with the collectors going after Earth. This whole thing is going to hell."_

Shepard nodded in response to both Jane and Lia. "I know."

"Then why are we going to check on her?" Lia waved a hand toward the port observation door as they passed the elevator.

Shepard hummed, pulling the quarian in tighter against her side and shaking Lia a little. "Because we love her, and I'm going stir crazy."

"What's 'stir crazy?'" Lia turned her head to look at Shepard, her eyes narrowing behind her mask.

"It means she's bored out of her fucking mind." Jack's sudden voice drew Shepard's attention, and she spotted the biotic rounding the corner behind them, carrying bottles of water. Jack stopped at the elevator. "She's not the only one."

"Oh." Lia cocked her head to the side. "I forget sometimes you're not all as accustomed to spending so much time on a ship as I am."

"Better than prison." Jack chuckled, pressing the elevator call button and turning her attention to Shepard. "I've got Garrus downstairs. Dr. Chakwas said he's okay to move around the ship, so he's helping me sort through some crap." She smirked, the side of her mouth lifting in a way that had emotions from past lives humming through Shepard's mind. "Don't worry, Alliance, I'll take it easy on him."

" _What? Does she think she can fuck him better?"_ Jane gave the impression of rolling her eyes. " _Oh, shut up, John. No one's saying anything bad about her. Garrus' heart is damaged, he shouldn't be exerting himself right now."_

Shepard cocked an eyebrow, ignoring Jane's—and apparently John's—chatter. "Very easy, Jack. He hasn't been cleared for much."

"Yeah." Jack flashed her another smile as she stepped into the elevator, poking her head back out to add, "I've already been lectured by Dr. Chakwas on what he can handle, don't need to hear it from you, too."

Shepard sighed, shaking her head as the elevator door closed and turned her attention back to the port observation. She and Lia continued on, knocking on the door when they got near enough. A moment later, the door opened up to reveal Kal just on the other side.

"Commander." Kal nodded at her, tucking his hands behind his back. "Lia." He glanced over his shoulder at Tali, laying stretched out on the bed, her back turned to them. "Tali's resting, but she asked me to wake her up if you needed her for anything."

Shepard held up a hand. "No, don't wake her. I just wanted to check in on her. How's she doing?"

Kal waved his hand out toward the hall, and Shepard stepped back. He followed them out, letting the door close behind him. "Her infection is minor, but I think she's more shaken up than she's willing to admit." He relaxed his stance, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms loosely over his chest. "She said she nearly fell over the railing when one of those artifacts let out a blast, and she couldn't even see the ground below, she was so high up. She said Jacob saved her life. I guess I owe him big time."

She nodded. "James got back on his feet just in time for me to see Jacob pulling her back from the edge. I heard her scream when the blast hit," she said, suppressing a shudder, but still her voice cracked when she continued, "We've never heard her sound so terrified before. And considering some of the things we've faced … it's saying a lot."

"Commander, sorry to interrupt, but Kelly asked me to locate you since EDI's unavailable." Joker's voice came over the comm in the hall. "You've got an urgent incoming call from Admiral Hackett."

" _The collectors arrived at Earth …."_ Jane's words sent icy tendrils of dread creeping along Shepard's spine.

"Thanks, Joker. Patch it through to my cabin, I'll be right up." She turned her attention back to Lia and Kal, forcing a smile on her face to keep from causing a stir. "Sorry, I've got to take this. Let me know when Tali's up?"

"Of course, Commander." Kal gave her a curt nod, the sudden alertness of the marine telling Shepard he'd come to the same conclusion as Jane. He pushed off the wall again, studying her, looking as if he'd spring into action if she only just told him what to do.

She forced her smile wider, hoping to put him at ease. There was nothing he could do, nothing anyone on the Normandy could do. She couldn't be in two places at once, it was either help defend Earth and risk being arrested, or stay clear and hit the base as soon as EDI gave them the greenlight. The Alliance could handle a couple of collector ships, and Fedorian probably sent a few extra ships, too. They'd be fine. Earth _had_ to be fine.

She nudged Lia with her shoulder, keeping her gaze on Kal. "And maybe put this one to work so she's not moping around the AI core while Legion's helping EDI?"

Kal chuckled and dipped his head, despite Lia's huff. "I'm sure I can find something to keep her occupied." He turned opening the door, ushering Lia inside.

Shepard left them to it, making her way up to her cabin, the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach growing with each second. The call waiting flashed on the screen made by her darkened display case when she stepped inside. She stopped in front of her desk and connected the call, pulling in a slow, steadying breath. Admiral Hackett filled the screen, head turned as he talked to someone outside of her line of sight, his own cabin in the background. Shepard cleared her throat, bringing her hand up in a salute when the admiral turned to face her.

"Shepard." He nodded his head at her, and she dropped her hand. His tight lips and the severe set of his jaw made her stomach twist and turn, warning her things were far worse than she'd thought. "The collectors are attacking Earth," he said, cutting right to the chase. "I've got Councilor Anderson on the line, I'm patching him through."

Shepard swallowed back a mouthful of hot, sour saliva. She took a deep breath and nodded. A moment later, Anderson appeared on the screen, giving her a little bit of relief as some of the budding tenseness in her shoulders eased. She swore she'd kiss Grundan Krul the next time she saw him. There was a million things she wanted to say to Anderson, but it was hardly the time for friendly reunions. Still, he smiled at her, a knowing smile that said 'thank you, old friend', and she couldn't help but to smile back, dipping her head.

"Shepard, our weapons aren't doing much against these ships." Hackett's jaw flexed and relaxed before flexing again. "Primarch Fedorian has reinforcements on the way, and Admiral Zaal'Koris of the Migrant Fleet has reached out to me, offering quarian support … he said you urged him to stay focused on getting his people resettled on Rannoch, though … that's a conversation for another time. I understand how important a peace between the quarians and geth is, so I won't request their aid unless it becomes absolutely necessary. I need whatever you can tell us to help us fight this enemy, Commander."

Head swimming, Shepard leaned forward, pressing her palms into her desk and dropped her gaze. "How many ships are we talking about, Admiral?"

"Eight cruisers, at the moment, spread out. The appear to be prepared to hit every populated landmass. So far all we've really been able to do is harry the main ships and keep them from reaching ground with their shuttles." He shook his head when she glanced back up. "But it's not going to last long if we can't do some real damage. We're taking heavy losses, and their ship design is unlike anything we've ever dealt with. From what information we've been able to gather from the colonies attacked, and what you've provided us, we know these things can land on the planet itself if they get past us. As it stands, they're not close enough for our ground defenses to get a lock on without risking whole fleets."

" _Eight!"_ Jane's shriek did nothing to help the situation, ramping up Shepard's adrenaline and carving a gouge out of her self-control. " _How the hell did they get eight cruisers there? Our intel didn't cover that many. Grundan Krul had information on two, maybe three max, in the Attican Traverse."_ Jane's thought process stalled for a moment before rushing forward at FTL speeds, churning out every worst case scenario possible.

"Dear gods …" Shepard whispered, and then swallowed again before continuing in a louder voice, "If any of the ships in Fedorian's fleets have Thanix Canons, those are your best bet." Lifting a hand, she pinched the bridge of her nose, pain and pressure building up behind her eyes and at the base of her skull. "In the meantime, sir, I suggest coordinated, focused attacks with the GARDIAN turrets on the cruisers' weapons systems, thrusters, and engines. If you take out the thrusters, they may not land because they won't be able to take off again. You already know how devastating their weapons can be." She shook her head, a sad, slow gesture of regret, the her helplessness in the situation threatening to close her throat and steal away her breath. "I'm sorry, sir, there's not much more I can tell you. They design their ships so the most vital mechanics are internalized, but the GARDIAN turrets are able to do damage."

"I see. Thank—" The admiral flailed his arms as the entire ship shook around him. The screech of rending metal ripped through the speakers, lights flickering as sparks flew.

"Admiral!" Anderson yelled, leaning in closer to his screen.

Shepard's heart pounded in her chest, her voice lost in her throat as the room spun around her. Adrenaline coursing through her system left her limbs feeling numb, weakening her knees. Hackett's ship shuddered again, throwing the admiral out of sight.

"Sir, sir, we've been breached! The collectors have boarded the ship!" A voice yelled from somewhere off screen.

" _Oh gods, they're going to take Hackett."_

"Get to the armory, Salvatore." Hackett pulled himself back up, coming into view once more. "We're not letting these SOBs take a single one of our people without a fight. Go!" He waved his hand, shooing Salvatore away. "Anderson," Hackett said, turning back to the screen, righteous rage painting his face a fiery shade of red. "We need—"

The screen went black, cutting her off from both Hackett and Anderson.

"No! No, no, no. EDI!" Shepard spun, facing the AI's access node, the motion nearly sending her face first into the floor. "EDI, can you reestablish the connection?"

"Sh … rd-Co … an … er." Legion's distorted voice came through the comm, crackling as if she listened an old-fashioned radio, badly out of tune. "... unab … lp … counter …."

"Fuck!" Shepard yelled at nothing in particular, raking her hands through her hair. She opened her omni-tool, punching in the code to call her yeoman. As soon as Kelly's face appeared, Shepard waved a hand in front of the screen, slicing through the woman's cheerful greeting. "Kelly, I need you to try to reestablish the connection to Admiral Hackett, failing that, put me through to Councilor Anderson. Now!"

" _Eight cruisers. We're going to lose Earth."_

"Right away, Commander." Kelly jerked her head, letting her arm drop as she worked at her console. "I can't get through to Admiral Hackett, Commander. I think something's interfering with their communication's systems. I'm getting Anderson on the line for you now."

" _We need to get to Earth! The collector base will have to wait."_ Jane barked out the words, anger and panic sending her careening closer and closer to the point of no return. " _What's the point in rushing to destroy the base if they've taken Earth's population? You think they're just going to let everyone go again if their base is destroyed?"_

"Thank you, Kelly," Shepard said before closing her omni-tool and turning back to the screen.

" _Stop fucking ignoring me!"_ Jane yelled, pushing against Shepard's consciousness, a ploy to get her attention more than to take control.

"What the hell do you expect me to do?" Shepard yelled back, not bothering to keep her conversation with the voice in her head a silent one.

" _I expect you to go tell Joker to hightail it to Earth."_ Jane fumed, her emotions flooding the barrier between herself and Shepard, drenching Shepard in a red fog, making her struggle to think straight. " _Those are our people, we have to do something."_

Shepard shook her head, trying to rid herself of the haze settling around her thoughts. The room spun around her and she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "I need to talk to Anderson. Just … just chill and let me talk to Anderson."

After a long, torturous moment of waiting, Anderson finally answered the call. Behind him, Valern paced the floor, which Shepard knew meant Tevos and Quentius wouldn't be far away. The salarian stopped, turning toward the screen when Anderson said her name. Valern frowned, coming a little closer to include himself in on the call, but Shepard ignored him for the time being.

"Anderson, I can't get Hackett back on the line. Their communication's systems are cut off." Shepard lifted a hand to rake it through her hair again, but when she saw how bad it trembled she shoved it back down to her side.

"I know, Commander. I've been trying to reestablish the connection from my end, too." Anderson shook his head, rubbing his hand over his brow. He turned, glancing over his shoulder when his door opened and Tevos walked in. Holding his hand up at the asari to ward off the million questions already forming on her lips, he turned back to the screen. "I've called the rest of the Council in, Shepard. I'm getting reports of more collector ship sightings, they're sending in reinforcements."

Shepard gripped the edge of her desk, holding on to it like a life preserver. She felt fairly certain just then, if EDI wasn't too busy to be monitoring her, the AI would be calling in every person on the ship with anything even resembling a medical degree. She'd be damned, though, if she left her cabin before she had eyes on the situation back on Earth.

The door to Anderson's office opened again, and Quentius stepped inside. The turian didn't speak, only approached the screen with a quite calm, taking up position next to Valern and tucking his hands behind his back. Tevos waved a hand in exasperation, but moved to stand on the other side of Anderson, casting a baleful glare at Shepard.

Anderson turned to address the Council, leaving the call open for Shepard. "Earth is under attack. I just lost contact with Admiral Steven Hackett as the SSV Buenos Aires was breached by collectors." He held up another hand, silencing them before they could respond. "Shepard provided Admiral Hackett with intel leading to the suspicions of an impending attack directly on Earth, and he had time to mobilize the fleets. Primarch Fedorian is already sending aid, having also been alerted to the possibility of an attack and wishing to mend wounds over this shit with The Dissension. The quarians, despite being in the middle of working out a peace agreement with the geth and reclaiming Rannoch—thanks to Shepard's efforts—have offered assistance, they're just waiting for us to give them the go ahead."

He shook his head, and Shepard bit her lip to keep from yelling at the Council, wanting desperately to tell them to get off their asses and do something. Anderson cleared his throat, tucking his hands behind his back. "Now, I know you're still gunning for Shepard over this leviathan thing, and I know I'm not your favorite person right now either, but I am still a member of this council, and the Earth Systems Alliance is still considered an ally, unless that's changed and no one's informed me. This attack is happening right now, not in the Terminus Systems, but on Earth. Can the Alliance count on its allies, the Council races, or do I need to turn to the quarians for help?"

Quentius flicked his mandibles and gave Anderson a quick jerk of his head. "I'll get in contact with Fedorian, figure out what he's already sending and see if there's anything else the turians can do to provide aid."

"Thank you, Quentius." Anderson nodded his head and then turned his attention to Valern.

"It would seem Commander Shepard has already made quite a few friends within the STG. I'll make a call, I'm sure they'll be more than willing to send assistance." Valern turned his attention to the screen, meeting Shepard's gaze. "This does not, however, resolve the situation for you, Commander. You are still expected to turn yourself in and face the charges brought against you."

"Earth is under attack, right now." Shepard leaned in toward the screen, jaw clenched so tight she could feel her teeth grinding down. "Right this very second, and I'm busting my ass to get things in order to take out the base of the assholes who are abducting my people _and you're talking to me about bullshit charges_? Are you fucking serious?"

"Commander!" Anderson spun to face her, leveling a warning look at her hard enough to cut through glass.

Shepard growled, her frustration with the Council—no, the entire situation: The Council, the collectors, the reapers, Jane and the others trapped in her head, just everything, the entire fucked up situation—the sound ripping through her larynx despite the look he gave her. Anderson blinked once and arched his eyebrows, the closest thing to shock and offense she'd ever seen on the man's face directed at her. She forced out a heavy breath and shoved herself away from the table.

Instantly, her heart beat so hard in her chest she thought it might explode, pain lancing through her head and down her spine, vision going dark. She gasped, the cabin air suddenly feeling bone dry and hot as all hell, as if she'd just stepped into a desert. She swayed on her feet.

" _Dawn—"_ Jane's voice faded, shifting into nothing but static, an annoying fly buzzing around inside her skull.

"Shepard?" Whatever the councilor thought a moment before, concern filled his voice when he spoke, weighing his words down.

She shook her head, trying to bring her hand up to rub her eyes, but found she couldn't quite get her arm to cooperate with the gesture.

"Commander Shepard? Are you alright?" Tevos that time, a hint of panic in the asari's voice.

Shepard swayed again, trying to throw her arms out to catch herself, but instead, she stumbled, her shoulder slamming into the wall behind her before the side of her head banged against something hard and sharp. She hit the floor, or the floor hit her, she wasn't really sure anymore.

"Shepard! Shepard!" Anderson's voice gurgled, sounding as if the man talked to her from underwater, but it cut through the haze of pain, reaching her ears.

She wanted to tell him she was alright, not to worry, but she couldn't respond. She wasn't even sure if her eyes were opened or closed. Muscles spasming, sending fire washing over her from head to toe, her whole body started to twitch and shake, head bouncing on the metal beneath her.

"EDI! EDI, call Dr. Chakwas! Shepard? Can you hear me? Dear God, Shepard!" Anderson had never, not ever in all of her lives, sounded so truly terrified before. "EDI!"

* * *

"What—What's happening?" Shepard couldn't feel anything, and even though she thought her eyes were open, nothing but darkness surrounded her.

A dry, rough, cough of a laugh filled the emptiness. "If we're lucky, you're dying."

The voice, as much as the words, sent a warning alarm off in Shepard. She tried to move, to look around for the speaker but found the task impossible. No matter, something told her exactly who spoke and where she'd managed to find herself.

Someone snarled—Robert. Robert Shepard. "Fuck off, Ruby. Leave her alone."

Fear crept into Shepard's mind, scuttling along her nervous system like a cluster of spiders. Except just then, she wasn't entirely sure she _had_ a nervous system. "No … gods, no. Jane? Jane what's happening?"

"I don't know, you overloaded, I guess." Something seemed to shift, and when Jane spoke again, she sounded somehow closer. "I can't even get through. We're all shut out. I think it means we're being sedated."

Shepard tried to swallow, the habit an old one, but completely ineffectual when she didn't even have control over her flesh. "Why is it so quiet?"

"Everyone's scared, ma'am."

"John?" Of course he was John. She knew it the split second before he spoke, as if she could feel his thoughts forming. Why'd she even bother to ask?

"Yes, ma'am. I'm here." He 'moved' a little closer to her, his voice sounding more solid and real, almost as if he'd leaned into the conversation. "Most of them are scared of you, the last time you came inside with us like this …."

She tried to suck in a deep breath, but she had no lungs to fill with air. "I killed some of them."

"And then, for shits and giggles, you killed off a few more." Ruby's voice filled with disgust.

"But some of you were already trying to kill me." As soon as the words left her nonexistent mouth, she felt the atmosphere shift, like a rabbit in the brush, suddenly becoming aware of a hawk circling overhead. Years of training and service fired off warning after warning, she'd just been dropped in the middle of enemy territory, wounded, unarmed, and quite possibly without backup.

"Nah, you've got backup, ma'am." John gave her with the impression of his hand on her left shoulder, his face flashing in front of her for the briefest of moments. "In here, you've always got backup."

She thought about her brow furrowing, because apparently, it was the best she could do. "What?"

"You don't have to say it for us to hear it, or feel it, or whatever you want to call it." Something shifted again, and Shepard could almost feel something brush up against her right side, like someone leaning against her in a show of support. In the half a second it lasted, she could see Jane, plain as day. "There's really no secrets in here."

"Brace yourself, ma'am," John said, and Shepard could tell he frowned, shoulders squared and blue eyes narrowed. "I can feel them moving in."

"When you wake up again, tell Garrus about this. Tell him I had your six." The fatalism in Jane's voice left Shepard more frightened than she'd been in a long time.

"I will, I promise. I—"

Something slammed against Shepard, images of a snarling Ruby filling her mind, pushing into her, flooding her with pure, unadulterated rage. In that instant, Shepard knew, as dangerous as she once thought Jane was, this woman, this Shepard, was far, far worse.

"Fight!" Jane yelled, and then Shepard saw Jane, too, wrapping her hand around Ruby's throat and tearing her away. "You have to fight them, Dawn."

"How? How the hell am I supposed to fight like this?" She barely got the words out before something else slammed into her: Michelle Shepard's fist.

Reflexes kicking in, her arm swung out, blocking another hit. She didn't know how she did it, it wasn't something she felt the way she would with flesh and bone, but it worked. Feeling another blow on the horizon, Shepard tried to block again, but nothing happened. The blow landed, feeling like someone punching their way right through her soul, overwhelming her senses with an utterly insane bloodlust not belonging to her, a need to fight for the sake of fighting, and then it disappeared again.

"Stop thinking about it and just _do_ it." The man's voice seemed off, different somehow, like a distant echo, the memory of a sound. A face, darkened by the sun, hair bleached nearly white, with hazel eyes filled her mind, his name coming right along with it. He was Quinn Shepard, and she killed him to defeat Vasir. "No, I'm more alive than I've been since the day I emptied my clip into the Crucible."

Whispers of 'he's alive' and 'how' washed over Shepard, thoughts like lights flickering on and off brushed against her, but the angry swell of the tide carried them away. Ruby was at her again, and Shepard could see herself fighting the other woman, see her fists flying out to connect with Ruby's ribs. She felt herself duck out of the way of a punch, heard the click and whirl of weapons being drawn, and then somehow, beyond all reason, found her pistol there, waiting for her grip. To what end, though? She'd seen John put a bullet in Ruby's head once before, and the woman just stood up again as if nothing had happened at all. And just like that, with the one little doubt, the weapon vanished from Shepard's hand, and she found herself once again unable to move at all.

Ruby's hand closed around her throat, or what must've been her throat to her mind, and squeezed. Fingers, moving of their own accord, digging into the tendons and nerves in the crook of Ruby's thumb, destroying the other woman's grip, Shepard ripped the hand away. An eerie calm swept through her as she rammed her elbow into the other woman's nose. Stepping in behind Ruby as she recoiled, Shepard checked Ruby's shoulder, keeping her from turning before reaching around and snapping her neck.

When Ruby fell, dead for the moment, darkness surrounded Shepard again. She could feel the fight going on around her, though, hear the grunts and growls of people throwing their all into an invisible battle. Her reprieve lasted only a moment before she was tackled, thrown back into the place of _otherness_. Insanity—for there really was no other name for what Shepard felt the moment Sarah made contact with her—clawed at her mind, slithering and seeping through the cracks and filling the crevices. Terrified by the madness, Shepard flailed, throwing the other woman off her.

"You're not supposed to be here!" Sarah wailed, lunging at Shepard again.

Shepard felt her coming that time, her intent broadcast through thoughts and emotions, and Shepard threw herself into a roll, Quinn's instructions reverberating in her mind. She stopped thinking, and just _did_ , drawing her pistol as she came out of her roll and fired, _knowing_ it would hit Sarah. She stopped, listening, not to the sounds but to the thoughts, catching wind of two more headed right for her. She turned, firing twice more into the darkness, trusting her shots would find their marks.

Rage, twisted and snarled, red intertwined with the blackness of hatred boiled up behind Shepard. She tried to turn, but she was too late, the tangled mass of murderous intent was on her. Ruby. Fists slammed into Shepard's face, whipping her head from side to side. She knew, somehow, her nose was broken, the metallic tang of blood slick on her tongue, pooling in the back of her throat, making her choke, threatening to drown her. Without even realizing she intended to, Shepard's biotics sprung to life, leaping from her to wrap themselves around Ruby in a Reave.

She stumbled back, doubled over as whatever energy created her, left her, pouring into Shepard instead. Pulling herself into a crouch, Shepard sprung at the other woman, knocking her back to whatever served as a ground in that place, and slapped her hand down on Ruby's chest. And there it was, that thing, the _spark_ right there, right within Shepard's reach, all she had to do was take it and make it her own.

A vicious grin spread across Shepard's face. "Die, bitch." She felt a part of herself wrap around the spark, and then she pulled, yanking it free of the mirage.

Ruby's mouth opened in a silent, pained gasp, her head tilting back in her agony … but then, as her body laid limp and started to fade, the light slipping away from her eyes, she smiled.


	78. Chapter 55: Seventeen

**Chapter 55: Seventeen**

"Wake up, Commander." Miranda's voice reached Shepard through the fog, a spark of light cutting through, bright as a beacon before her eyelids fell closed again, darkness consuming her once more.

"Shepard, need to get up now. Under attack. Heretics found location." Mordin hovered over her, the bright, orange glow of his omni-tool burning her retinas when she pulled her eyes open again. The sounds of weapons' discharge in the distance confirmed his statement.

"What?" Her head throbbed, and her entire body felt made of lead, muscles aching, protesting the slightest movement.

"Geth heretics. On Gellix, performed surgery to add regulatory implant in occipital lobe. Should be stable now." He slid a hand under the crook of her elbow and tugged, sending pain lancing through her arm, and she hissed. "Need to get up. Facility's automated defense systems jammed." He tugged again, and Shepard groaned but helped, pulling herself upright despite feeling as if it shredded every muscle in her body. "Shadow Broker escort team working on repairs, but heretics already on ground. Invading facility. Miranda ordered Normandy to retreat, engage stealth systems."

She hissed again, sliding her legs over the edge of the operating table, the room spinning a little as she did so. How many? How many did she absorb? Were Jane and John, along with a handful of the others, still fighting somewhere locked away inside her head, trying to defend her? Glancing around her, she immediately recognized the room, the same room Jacob was treated for his gunshot wounds when she came to rescue the ex-Cerberus scientists. The same room she'd taken Talitha back through in her attempt to save the poor woman from Cerberus' torturous indoctrination experiments. The sounds of gunfire grew a little closer.

"Jane," Shepard thought, but got no response.

"Muscle soreness will ease with use. Stand, please." Mordin kept up the slight pressure at her elbow, urging her to her feet, but also offering her support just in case.

"Earth is under attack," she said, shaking off the last of her confusion. Putting her feet on the floor, she tried to stand only to have her knees give out, pain lancing up her legs, setting her feet on fire, but Mordin kept her from falling. "I need to call Anderson."

"Am aware." He held onto her, one hand gripping her arm, the other steady at her waist. "Anderson provided details after calling Dr. Chakwas."

"Dr. Chakwas?" Shepard straightened her legs, easing her weight back onto the screaming muscles of her thighs and calves.

"Take small steps, please." He shifted out from in front of her, moving to her side, but never letting her go. "Tried to summon EDI to get you help when you collapsed, started seizing. EDI unable to respond. Anderson called Dr. Chakwas directly."

The door opened, sounds of gunfire suddenly very loud and very nearby. Miranda rushed through, coming to an abrupt stop, and the door slid closed behind her, dampening the noise once more. "Good, you got her up. Walk her around the room a few times, she's going to need to loosen her muscles up."

Mordin sniffed, the sound carrying enough of his disdain he didn't need to offer any other response.

"Shepard, I'm sorry," Miranda said, shaking her head. "I'd hoped to give you more time to recover, but the geth are inside the facility."

"Yeah, I got that." She took a step, biting her lip against the pain. "What are they doing here?" She took another, cursing under her breath, but already she could feel the scorching heat in her calves easing. "Did they follow us?"

"No, I believe they were already here. I can't say for sure, but I think they might've been investigating this facility and watching it for Cerberus' return." Miranda moved to one of the shelves, pulling down Shepard's clothing and bringing it over to the bed. "It's likely the reapers were aware of the research being done here, bloody hell, it's likely half the scientists here were indoctrinated themselves. They must've seen the Normandy arrive and called in reinforcements."

"Fantastic." Shepard suppressed a groan, half annoyance, half pain. "Any news from Earth? How long was I out?" She kept walking, her stride getting a little longer, leaning on Mordin a little less.

"It's been three days since you collapsed in your cabin. You're lucky Grundan Krul was able to get the things I needed and this facility remained abandoned." Miranda made her way back to the door, drawing her pistol before she opened the door, peeking her head outside. "The Council caved to Anderson, the asari, salarian, and turians are all sending ships to Earth. I haven't heard any further news since we arrived on Gellix yesterday." She turned back to Shepard, letting the door close again. "They've almost made it to the last set of stairs. Do you think you're ready to move, Shepard?"

Shepard pulled away from Mordin, finding herself able to stand steady on her own, and rolled her head on her shoulders. Swinging first one arm up and around, she did the same to the other, trying to loosen the tightness and stop the burning in her other muscles. "Armor and weapons?" She jerked her thumb toward her back. "Mordin, untie me."

The professor did as asked without hesitation, untying the strings of her robe and helping to pull it away from her naked body. "On the Normandy. Were unconscious. Coming in for brain surgery. Did not think it likely you'd be in position to use them."

"Excellent." Shepard made her way back to the bed where Miranda left her clothes and leaned against the side, picking up her panties, she carefully lifted one leg to slide it through the first hole. "Who's down here with us?"

"Dr. Chakwas refused to allow Garrus to come, and he threw a big enough fit she almost needed to sedate him." Miranda rolled her eyes. "Thane calmed him down, reassuring Garrus he'd be with you the entire time. He's right outside the door now, guarding the room. James is on the stairs along with Kal, and Tali is on the roof with Feron and the others the Shadow Broker sent with the supplies. They're working to get the AA guns back up and running."

"Holy fucking hell!" Shepard hissed and growled, her arms locking up on her completely when she tried to reach behind her to close her bra.

Mordin took over for her without asking, ever the pragmatic one. Then again, she did ask him to strip off what little clothing she wore just a few moments before. He clasped her bra while she worked on getting her arms to relax, just barely able to move them back down to her sides. He picked up her shirt, rolling it in his hands until he cleared the opening for her head, and with a gentleness he always surprised her with, he eased it over her head, taking extra care over the fresh wound on the back of her skull. She managed to get her arms through the holes on her own, and steadied herself against the bed. Resting one hand on his shoulder, she lifted a leg as he squatted in front of her, holding her pants out for her to step into. With minimal awkwardness, he got her boots on, laced up, and tied, too.

"I need a weapon. I'm not going out there without armor _or_ a gun." She rolled her shoulders again. "Is it safe to use my biotics?"

"It shouldn't be a problem, but it'll only drain your energy faster. If you're going to use them, use them wisely." Miranda moved back to the door, taking up position with her pistol at the ready.

Mordin pulled out a M6-Carnifex, checking it over before handing it to her along with a spare clip. "Always carry backup."

She smirked, testing the weight of the weapon in her hands, making sure her grip wouldn't give out. "Thanks. Alright, let's get out of here." She glanced at Miranda. "Do you have a plan?"

"We're going to head to the roof, rendezvous with the others. Once the AA guns are back online, we can set them to target the geth dreadnaught." She opened the door, gaze sweeping the area before she waved Shepard on. "I was able to break through the jamming in the facility and retake control of the interior systems. I had to use my alpha code, but I locked down the doors on the lower floors. It'll keep more geth from getting inside, at least for now, but it means …."

"It means the Illusive Man knows we're here." Shepard sucked in a deep breath, putting her back to the edge of the door frame before peering around the corner. "He probably knew either way. I'm sure someone on the crew reported it to him by now." She caught sight of Thane and something inside of her eased. Turning her attention back to Miranda, she left the room, staying as low as her achy muscles would allow, and moved to Thane's side, talking over her shoulder. "Stop calling them geth; they're not geth, they're heretics."

Miranda scoffed, moving up to take point while Mordin fell in behind Shepard. "Now really isn't the time for political correctness, Commander."

"Siha," Thane said, just loud enough for her to hear, his fingertips brushing over her jaw before returning to grip his gun.

She offered him the best smile manageable in the moment. "The next time I'm unconscious and they decide to take me off the Normandy to perform surgery, make sure they bring my armor and guns with me."

He chuckled, dipping his head. "Indeed, but hopefully there will be no next time."

"Irrelevant." Mordin sniffed. "Unlikely could handle the weight of armor right now."

Miranda lifted her hand to her ear, activating her comm as she moved them toward the back of the room, stopping at the head of the staircase leading down. "James, Kal, we've got the commander up and are moving toward the roof. Fall back and join us. EDI can navigate the shuttle to our location."

Shepard reached up, finding her own comm missing. Mordin tapped her on the shoulder, holding his hand out next to her side. She glanced down, finding the little earpiece nestled in his palm. Plucking it from his hand, she worked it back into her ear, turning it on. Gun at the ready, she turned toward the stairs, ready to cover James and Kal's retreat.

A moment later, James came into view at the foot of the stairs, facing the door down below, assault rifle peppering the air with rounds. A few seconds after, Kal did the same, lobbing a grenade at the heretics before disappearing from sight again. James lowered his weapon a fraction, telling Shepard they weren't being immediately pursued.

When he turned to look at Shepard, James flashed her his best shit-eating grin. "Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty. Nothing like an ambush to get you on your feet again, eh, Ídolo?" He jogged up the stairs.

Kal laughed, following behind him. "I jammed the lock on the door. It won't keep them out for long, but it'll buy us some time." He moved in to take up position with the others, forming a wall around her. Glancing over his shoulder at her, he bobbed his head. "Good to see you up again, ma'am."

She forced her lips up in a smile, all to aware it probably looked more like a grimace with the way her stomach writhed and her muscles twitched. "Yeah, let's just hope I stay this way." It wasn't just the pain, or even the tension of expecting heretics to pour around the corner at any moment, but the thoughts of Admiral Hackett and his crew being taken by the collectors—hell, of the entire population of Earth being taken by the collectors.

James took point, just in front of Kal, and Miranda moved back to Shepard's left. As a group they moved to the door at the back of the room, letting Shepard set the pace. Crowding into the dark space beyond the door, they waited while Kal jammed the lock behind them.

"Shit." Shepard let out a groan.

"What's wrong?" Miranda eyed her, hand moving to Shepard's arm.

"The ladder." Shepard nodded up ahead. "I'm going to slow us down even further getting up that damn thing."

James turned to look at her, shrugging his shoulders. "You can ride on my back."

The thought of hanging on to the marine, hard, ceramic armor digging into her already yelping muscles sounded even less appealing than climbing the damn thing herself. "Yeah, that's not happening."

Miranda let go of Shepard's arm. "I can pull you up with my biotics. I'm strong enough, and I have enough control. It shouldn't be a problem."

Shepard hesitated, weighing out her options. "I guess it's worth a shot. You sure?"

"Positive." Miranda glanced at her, giving her a sly, cocky smirk. "I can do it with James first, if you want, just to be sure. I'll let him back down easy if I find he's too heavy. Probably."

"Uhhh … I'm good with the ladder," James said, turning back around, "thanks."

"He'd probably see it as foreplay." Knowing damn well the operative toyed with James brought a smirk to Shepard's face, despite everything else going on in her mind. She also knew it meant the marine finally wormed his way past Miranda's icy, outer shell—maybe because he locked his sights firmly on Kasumi instead of chasing after her like a dog with his tongue hanging out.

Miranda snorted, just as they reached the ladder. James stowed his assault rifle and started climbing, unholstering it again once he reached the top. Kal waited next to the ladder, waving Miranda up first. She turned at the top, looking back down at Shepard and arched an eyebrow.

Shepard glanced at Thane. "Catch me if she drops me?" She didn't really have a single doubt Miranda could pull it off without a hitch, and really, the drop wasn't that far if she did fall, but even feeling like shit, she didn't want to pass up the chance to give the operative a hard time.

"Of course," he said, already holstering his pistol.

"I'm not going to drop you, Shepard. Have a little faith." Miranda's biotics sprung to life, blue flames dancing over her body. "Are you ready?"

Shepard flipped the safety on the Carnifex and shoved it into her waistband. "Alright, let's do this. Just remember, you break it, you buy it."

Miranda snorted, working the energy down into her palms. "I already own it, my mark is on every one of those implants holding you together."

Shepard had to fight the instinct to dodge out of the way as Miranda flung the dark energy at her, surrounding her in a blue haze. Her feet left the ground, and for a second she just hovered there, her skin tingling with the foreign feel of someone else's biotics, and then she began to rise further up in the air. When her feet cleared the next level, Miranda took a few steps back, pulling her along until she safely floated over solid ground. Lowering her gently back to the floor, Miranda held Shepard wrapped up in her biotics for a few seconds longer, letting the energy eek away, the weightless feeling gradually leaving Shepard, forcing her to stand on her own two feet again with a whimper.

Thane crested the ladder a second later, his hand finding the small of her back while she steadied herself. She took a cleansing breath, rolling her head on her shoulders before drawing her pistol again. Nodding, she moved forward to get out of the way of the others coming up.

"Heretics breaking through. Need to keep moving," Mordin said as soon as his head popped up over the edge.

"James, let's go." Shepard started moving again, urging the others along as they kept her sequestered between them.

"I hear fighting ahead, Commander." James glanced back over his shoulder. "The heretics must've made it to the roof."

Shepard brought her hand to her mic. "Tali, this is Shepard, what's your status?"

"We've got the first AA gun back online, but the heretics are swarming the roof, we can't get to the second one." The thick, nasally tone to Tali's voice told Shepard the quarian was still recovering from her suit breach and should probably be taking it easy, not fighting heretics. "We can't fire on the dreadnaught until both guns are online."

"We're on our way to you now, but the heretics aren't far behind us." Shepard forced herself to pick up the pace, determined to power through the pain just like any other time. She'd been through far, far worse and kept fighting. "Focus on getting to the gun, we'll try to pull them away from you."

A hint of confidence crept back into Tali's tone as she said, "Understood, Shepard."

They made their way around the bend, each step sending fresh waves of pain through Shepard's legs, but each new pang felt a little less intense. Thane helped her over the exterior vent shafts, steadying her as she regained her footing. The sounds of gunfire and the chattering of heretics grew louder as they climbed the ramp. She couldn't see them yet, but she knew exactly where they'd be. Pointing her team toward the AA guns, she ordered James and Mordin ahead to help Tali and Feron. Kal covered their six while Miranda and Thane helped her up onto the crates near the edge of the raised stage where the AA guns were stationed. Just as Thane started to lift her again, the battle ahead of her clearly in sight, she heard the sounds of heretics approaching from the rear, and Kal opened fire.

"Miranda," Shepard called to the woman already taking cover on the next level, letting off a couple of shots into the fray. "They're behind us."

Thane eased her back down, sweeping her into his arms despite her hiss of pain and exasperated sigh. Dropping off the crate back to the level below, he crouched, easing her to the ground behind cover. "Stay down, siha."

She snorted, pressing her back to the crate and peered around the edge, lining up a shot on a heretic moving to cover and fired twice. "This isn't the first fight I've been in wounded, Thane. I'm sore, not bleeding to death."

"You just woke from surgery, your skull is still healing." He raised a brow ridge, somehow the simple gesture conveyed a heavier amount of censure than words alone. "The anesthesia is likely still muddling your response time, siha."

"This isn't the first fight I've been in after—"

"Siha."

"Alright, alright." She huffed, hoping to put a swift end to the conversation. "I won't take any risks, but I'm not just going to sit here hiding. And if you think for a second that any amount of 'sihaing' will get me to, you've obviously forgotten who you've been sharing a bed with."

He let out his own exasperated sigh, ducking out of cover long enough to fling his biotics at a heretic. Miranda kept her position above, changing cover so she was protected on two sides—so long as the fight on the upper level didn't move her way. Shepard lost eyes on Kal, but the rapid-fire sound of his assault rifle gave her an estimate of where he'd gone to cover at her left.

Peering around the edge again, she just barely caught sight of a trooper standing behind a taller stack of crates, the angle to her location giving her a rough shot. She bit the corner of her lip, letting her biotics trickle through, a faucet set to drip, testing the way it made her feel. When her amp didn't instantly overheat, and no other warning bells went off in her head, she turned the tap, setting her fist aglow before flinging out a Shockwave. The trooper stumbled back out of cover along with a second she didn't even know was there. Her team didn't let her down, taking the opportunity she gave them to end the two heretics.

The distinct sound of a biotic Slam kept Shepard informed of Miranda's actions, tucked away out of sight. Thane flung biotics over the top of the crate—Shepard unable to tell the effects from her position—before firing off a few shots. Peeking around the edge again, she spotted a heretic hunter, its cloak a faint distortion to the air as it crept along, moving in on Kal's position.

She tapped her mic. "Kal," she said, lowering her pistol at the heretic. "You've got a cloaked hunter moving in on your twenty." She pulled the trigger, dropping the heretic's cloak, and before she could take another shot, the sharp staccato of Kal's assault rifle ripped through the air, tearing down the hunter.

Jane roused in the back of Shepard's mind, sounding winded and exhausted. " _What's that saying? Out of the frying pan and into the fire?"_

"The guns are active!" Tali called over the comm.

"You alright?" Shepard thought, waiting for the affirmative hum from Jane before lifting her hand to her mic again. "Good, set it to target the ship and start firing," she said, firing off a couple of shots. "EDI, lock onto the dreadnaught and start firing, too. Take them down or chase them out of here, whatever."

Sounding suddenly more alert but guarded, Jane said, " _She put in the implant."_

"Locking on to the heretic dreadnaught now, Shepard," EDI said.

"Yeah," Shepard thought. "Can't really tell if it's doing anything yet, though."

The AA guns fired, their force vibrating the crate at her back. A moment later, Feron dropped down over the edge a few feet away, landing in a crouch. He met her gaze, holding it for just a second. Thane glanced over his shoulder at the other drell, and Feron dipped his head before running across the way, staying low to the ground. Turning out, she provided him covering fire until the Carnifex clicked, out of ammo.

Shepard ejected the empty clip, sliding a full one in. An asari she'd never met dropped from the same location as Feron, but instead of staying low, she stood, pulling biotic energy up around her and throwing it out over Shepard's head. Glancing over the edge, Shepard saw a Singularity, pulling in heretics, twirling them about in the air. Firing off three more rounds, she helped to take out the floaters. When she turned back around, the asari crouched next to her, shotgun in hand.

The woman smiled, nodding her head. "Commander. We've been asked to keep you safe until you've returned to your ship. The Shadow Broker said you wouldn't make it easy on us, but I didn't expect to find you in the thick of a firefight with the geth a day after having your head cut open." She chuckled, starting to push to her feet again. "I guess the rumors about you are all true."

"Only a few of them." Shepard peered around the edge, not seeing an easy target.

The asari pulled her biotics up again, flinging them out over the crate before crouching down again. "Yeah? Which few?"

Shepard snorted, glancing over to where Feron took cover. "Only the good ones."

Feron turned out of cover, taking aim with a pistol and fired three times before ducking back behind the crate.

EDI's voice filled her ear. "The heretic dreadnaught is retreating, Shepard. They are still within range. Should we continue to fire?"

She sucked in a deep breath. "Take them out if you can, EDI, but do not pursue."

"We're clear up here, Shepard," Tali said through the comm.

Thane put his back to the crate, glancing at her. "The ground troops are falling back, as well."

"Continuing assault," EDI said, and then a moment later added, "The heretic dreadnaught is preparing to enter FTL. It is unlikely with the damage they've sustained that the ship will survive such a jump, however."

"Thank you, EDI." Shepard peeked around the edge, finding the area clear. "Can you move the shuttle to our location?"

"Right away, Shepard."

Shepard took Thane's hand when he stood, letting him help her pull up, and then she glanced at the asari. "Do you have a ship waiting?"

"We do." The woman gave Shepard a quick nod. "The captain retreated when the dreadnaught arrived, but we've stayed in communication. We have a shuttle not far from where you landed."

"How many of you are there groundside?" Shepard moved to the edge of the crate, managing to push herself up onto the surface on her own, hesitant to show weakness in front of strangers, but still, she felt Thane's hand at her back.

"Four."

Shepard stood, moving to the low wall made by the upper level and turned to look over her shoulder, seeing Kal and Feron approaching. Kal moved up next to the crate and turned, putting his back to Shepard while he watched over the area. Feron smiled, dipping his head to her before coming to a stop next to the asari.

"We'll give you a lift back to your shuttle," Shepard said, turning to push herself up to the next level.

"Thank you, Commander," Feron's gravely voice answered, "but it won't be necessary. Our shuttle is equipped with an automated navigation VI. I can call it to our location with my omni-tool."

Both shuttles waited by the time they made it across to meet back up with the others. Along with Feron and the still unknown asari, Grundan Krul sent a human and a salarian, their faces hidden behind helmets. She supposed it was better that way.

Leaving them their anonymity, she didn't ask for their names, but she held her hand out to each of them. "Thank you."

Feron lingered as the others climbed into the shuttle, closing the distance between himself and Shepard, moving into whispering range, gaze darting to Thane at her side before returning to hers. "The Shadow Broker asked that I inform you he's located Spectre Protalus."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Where is she?"

"In a turian colony on Oma Ker, it's in the Aethon Cluster. I'll send you the coordinates." He opened his omni-tool.

"Do we know what she's doing there?" Shepard's omni-tool pinged, and she opened it just long enough to dismiss the notification. She'd look into it later, she had far more important things to worry about.

"No, not yet." Feron tucked his hands behind his back. "But we can look into it further, if you'd like."

She nodded, leaning into Thane's side when he placed a hand on the small of her back. "Keep me updated."

Feron dipped his head, turning on his heel, and joined the others in his shuttle. She watched as he closed the door behind him, the shuttle lifting into the air. Waving her crew to the Cerberus shuttle, she looped her arm through Thane's and let him guide her inside. The second she sat down, Miranda opened her omni-tool and began scanning.

"The implants may need more calibrating, it's not working as quickly as anticipated, though activity _is_ decreasing." She hummed, her gaze shifting over her omni-tool's screen. "Unless …."

"Unless I took in more of them." Shepard took in a deep breath, letting it seep back out of her. "They attacked me. I did what I had to do."

Miranda blinked, leaning forward on the edge of her seat. "How many?"

" _Seventeen."_ Jane almost sounded proud, a shocking contrast to how she felt the last time. " _Ruby, Michelle, Sarah, Dante, Philip, Janine, Cynthia, Ron, Olivia, Isabel, Mya, Noha, Lilith, Jeanne, Bobby, April, and Katarina."_

Shepard swallowed, shifting a little in her seat, dropping her gaze to the floor in front of her feet. "I killed Seventeen." But then, Quinn's words echoed back to her: ' _... I'm more alive ….'_


	79. Chapter 56: Three Million

**Chapter 56: Three Million**

Garrus wrapped his arms around her, holding her in death's grip the second she stepped out of the shuttle. Chuckling, she slid her arms around his waist and pressed her face against his chest, breathing in his scent and letting it ease some of the tension balled up inside of her. He nuzzled the top of her head, so she lifted her face to him, pressing her lips against his mouth.

Pulling away, she slipped her hand into his to lessen the sting. "I need to call Anderson." She turned on her heel, knowing he'd understand and utterly unsurprised when he tightened his grip on her fingers, following behind her.

She glanced over at him when his longer stride brought him even with her, and she realized he moved with far more surety and ease than he did the day she collapsed. If anyone could make a full recovery after being electrocuted badly enough to stop their heart, it was Garrus. She smiled at him, and he flicked a mandible at her, lifting her hand to his mouth to kiss her fingers.

Thane held the elevator door opened for them, and Shepard glanced around, seeing everyone else already left the hangar. She stepped inside and leaned against the back wall, tugging Garrus in closer when he did the same. Thane hit the button for her cabin before tucking his hands behind his back and turning to face her.

She offered him a weak smile when he met her gaze. "You should get some rest. Something tells me you haven't slept through all of this."

"On the contrary, Garrus and I," he said, gesturing between the two of them, "slept in shifts next to you while you were unconscious before arriving on Gellix."

Shepard tilted her head back to look at Garrus, and he nodded. Turning her attention back to Thane, she smiled, her heart warmed by the idea of the two men she loved staying by her side, watching her six while she fought a battle they didn't have a clue about. "And what about _while_ we were on Gellix?"

" _I knew about it, and I was there with you. I had your six, remember? John and I had your six,"_ Jane said, her voice sedate, almost tranquil for the moment.

"I remember," Shepard thought. "And when I tell them about what happened, I'll tell them how you helped me."

Thane chuckled and turned his gaze to the floor. "I will sleep soon, siha. You have my word." Lifting his head, he looked at her again and took a couple of steps closer. He reached out, brushing the back of his fingers along her jaw before hooking them under her chin and leaning in to kiss her. "I'd like to hear word of the situation on Earth before I lay down."

She raised an eyebrow, challenging the omission in his statement. "And you want to be there when I hear how bad things are on Earth, just in case I go down again."

"Perhaps." He smiled and kissed her again.

The elevator door opened, and the three of them made their way into her cabin. She went straight to her desk and activated the display case screen.

"I already have Councilor Anderson on the line," EDI said.

"Patch him through." Shepard ran a hand over the front of her hair, wishing she'd taken the time to at least glance in the mirror first.

"Right away, and welcome back, Shepard."

She glanced over her shoulder at the blue hologram and smiled. "Thanks, EDI."

"You're welcome. Patching the councilor through." EDI's blue hologram collapsed, and Shepard turned her attention back to the screen.

A moment later, Anderson appeared and relief swept over his face, leaving his shoulders sagging. "Shepard. Thank God. I thought we lost you again."

Jane hummed. " _He looks tired, maybe a little thinner, too."_

"Sorry, Anderson." Shepard braced her hands on the back of her chair and leaned toward the screen. "I'm sure I scared the hell out of you … and left you with a mess to explain to the Council."

Scoffing, he shook his head. "Ain't that the damn truth, but don't worry about the Council, Shepard. Are you alright?"

"I'm still in the game." She shrugged, not really wanting to get into the details of the hell the last few days brought. "What about Earth? Admiral Hackett?"

Anderson sucked in a deep breath and rubbed his forehead, pinching the skin between his fingers before massaging it back out. "Hackett and the entire crew of the Buenos Aires are gone, the collectors took them. Three other ships in the fifth fleet were cleared out … others were just taken down." He folded his hands together on the desk in front of him. "They didn't bother breaching any of the allied ships, but they suffered losses, too. Turian, asari, salarian all had ships destroyed, cut to pieces just like the old Normandy. Together we took down two of their cruisers and chased the others off, but not before a few places on Earth were hit. The numbers are still coming in, but it looks like the collectors made off with at least three million humans."

" _Three million."_ Jane sounded as stunned as Shepard felt.

"Damn it." Words coming out barely above a whisper, she leaned over, bracing her elbows on the back of her chair and scrubbed her hands over her face. Her chest ached with the news. Three million. How the hell was she going to rescue three million? Was there even still time to rescue them?

"Spirits." Garrus' hand settled down between her shoulder blades.

"It could've been far worse if Shepard hadn't given Hackett the heads up and gotten Primarch Fedorian involved." Anderson met her gaze with a stern glare when she looked back up, and he shook his head. "I know it doesn't make the loss of three million any better, Shepard, but you saved billions more. The upside of this—if something like this can be said to _have_ an upside—is now the Council is invested in defeating the collectors. They're preparing to send ships through the Omega 4 Relay. The Alliance, too."

"What? No!" She bolted upright fast enough to startle Garrus, his bare talons digging into her back a little before he pulled his hand away. "They can't, those ships don't have IFFs, they'll be destroyed the second they come out on the other side."

Brow furrowing, Anderson tilted his head. "EDI didn't tell you?"

Her gaze flicked toward the AI's access node before settling back on Anderson. "Didn't tell me what?"

"She replicated the reaper IFF code." He spread his hands apart. "We received it this morning. We've just been waiting for you to wake up, the Council wants your guarantee this will work before they allow it to be installed on any of their ships. The Alliance ships have already started integrating it into their systems."

" _Smart thinking, EDI,"_ Jane said. " _Though, she's been making more and more judgement calls lately. It might be something we should be concerned about. It's fantastic she has free will and wants to help, but there is still a chain of command here."_

Shepard spared about half a second to consider what Jane said before brushing it aside, Anderson's statement taking precedence in the moment. "My guarantee?" She lifted an eyebrow. "Since when does the Council give two shits about what I have to say?"

"You've caused a bigger stir than what you realize, Shepard," he said, his lips lifting in a tired smile. "We've got calls coming in from the krogan and STG, Former Councilor Sparatus and Primarch Fedorian, the quarian Admiralty Board, The Shadow Broker's agents. Even C-Sec. The asari you have onboard, the justicar? She called and spoke with Tevos at length." Anderson chuckled and shook his head. "I've never seen Tevos look so chastened. And those are just the people with influence." He turned, pushing himself from his chair and tucked his hands behind his back to pace a few steps. "I think they've finally realized they're fighting a losing battle trying to corral you, and if they want to keep control of things, they're going to need you working with them, not against them."

Garrus took a step closer to the screen, mandibles fluttering, hope sparking in his eyes. "So, they're dropping the charges against Shepard?"

" _Doubtful."_

Anderson sighed and shook his head. "No … they haven't given up on that just yet, but I think it's safe to say they're suspending their interest in bringing you in until things settle down."

She scoffed, leaning her weight back on one hip and crossed her arms over her chest. "They're more stupid than I thought if they actually think things are going to settle down."

"I know it, Shepard. You know it." He waved a hand in the air and shrugged. "But right now, I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth." Pacing again, he glanced out over the balcony behind his desk.

She shook her head. "Even with the IFFs, you've seen what a collector cruiser can do to our ships, Anderson. We'd be sending them in to be slaughtered. The Normandy's advanced stealth systems along with the upgrades to the shields, armor, and weaponry systems are the only things allowing us to make it to the base, once we're through the relay, without the ship getting ripped apart and killing half the crew. If we have any hope of getting any of the people the collectors abducted back out of that base, we don't have time for the Council or Alliance to upgrade their fleets."

"What are you suggesting, Shepard?" He stopped pacing to look at her, eyebrows raised. "The Council is finally offering to help, and you want to leave them behind? Even if you can take down the base on your own, the Normandy can't transport so many people if you _are_ able to save them."

" _He's right. We can't do this alone. Not this time."_

She grabbed the back of her chair and hung her head. "I don't know."

"You don't have to do this alone," Anderson said, eerily in sync with Jane's thoughts. "They understand the risks. This is war, Shepard. There will be losses."

"Don't you think I know that?" She looked up, meeting his gaze. "Hell, I know better than any of you, and that's the point. The more we lose now fighting the collectors, the fewer there will be to fight later when the reapers hit, and we're going to need the numbers."

He held her gaze for a moment, watching her in silence. When he finally spoke, his voice came out soft, pleading but sympathetic. "More than three million people, Commander. We have to try."

She let out a heavy sigh, shoulders dropping in defeat. "Yeah. What do you need me to do?"

"Just talk to the Council." He made his way back to his desk, resting his hands on the back of his chair. "Confirm for them that you have reason to believe the collectors are using these reaper devised IFFs to pass safely through the Omega 4 Relay, and it's this same technology you plan to use to get the Normandy through."

"Alright." She nodded, pushing away from the chair and squaring her shoulders. "Call them in."

Anderson leaned over his desk and activated his intercom. "Rebecca, get the rest of the Council on the line and tell them I need them in my office. I have Shepard ready to talk to them."

"I believe Councilor Tevos is in a meeting at the moment."

Frowning, he shook his head. "I don't care, this is more important."

"I'll call them now."

"Thank you, Rebecca." He let go of the intercom button and met Shepard's gaze again, determination and confidence in his eyes.

She sure as hell hoped he was right.

Garrus and Thane moved off toward Spike's tank, whispering quietly among themselves while she waited for the other councilors to begin filing into Anderson's office. She couldn't make out everything Thane and Garrus said, but then again she wasn't exactly trying to listen in, either. Every now and again she heard her name come up, though, and she supposed it told her all she really needed to know.

" _That's what happens when something's wrong with someone; when they've got some kind of incurable disease,"_ Jane said, and Shepard felt her strain to listen. " _People start talking about you all the time. Whispering, watching you out of the corner of their eyes. Like being sick takes away your ability to understand what's going on around you, and let's face it, when it comes down to it, that's how they all see us."_

"Shepard, I'm glad to see you pulled through." Quentius' voice pulled Shepard's attention back to the screen. "You gave us all quite the scare."

She eyed him for a few seconds, trying to determine whether or not he genuinely cared. In the end, it didn't really matter whether the Council felt concerned for her or just trying to play nice to keep the peace. She couldn't say she'd lose any sleep over a single one of them besides Anderson.

"Sorry you had to see that, Councilor. I assure you, I'm doing much better now." She forced a smile on her face, gaze drifting between the councilors all gathered around Anderson's desk. "Anderson's informed me the Council is prepared to send ships through the Omega 4 Relay in an attempt to reclaim the abducted humans."

"Of course, Commander." Tevos lifted her chin as she spoke, as if the mere implication the Council might do anything different given the circumstances was the most insulting thing she'd ever heard in her long, long life. "We have always told you that we wished there was more we could do to help, but with the attacks being confined to the Terminus Systems, our hands were tied."

Jane laughed, humorless and scathing.

"That changed when the collectors crossed into Alliance Space." Quentius fluttered his mandibles, shifting his weight a little and tucking his hands behind his back. "The humans are our allies, and you've suffered a devastating blow. If there's anything we can do to assist, we are not only obligated, but happy to do whatever we can."

" _You've_ got _to be kidding me."_

Shepard's upper lip twitched, ready to give them a derisive snort, but Anderson flashed her a warning glare. Clenching her jaw instead, she forced a smile on her face—after all, Quentius came late to the game, he didn't know the rules yet, and he'd been decent enough to her so far. Tevos on the other hand knew exactly how full of shit she sounded. She thought about pointing out that either they knew the collectors moved into the Attican Traverse a while back, or they were seriously under-qualified to be leading the Council responsible for protecting people, but something told her it wouldn't make a bit of a difference in her favor for the outcome of the conversation.

"I'm glad to hear it, Councilor." She directed her comments at Quentius, choosing to ignore Tevos for as long as she could. "So, what is it exactly the Council needs from me? Anderson said you've been given the reaper IFF code."

Valern stuffed his hands inside of his over-sized sleeves. "We need more information about this code. Where did it come from? How can you be sure it's safe?"

Shepard turned her head to the side a little, her chin jutting out in disbelief. "Well," she said, letting the word drag, "it came from a derelict reaper. You know, one of those things you guys keep telling everyone in the galaxy don't really exist?"

"Shepard." The name rolled from Anderson, more like a grumble or a low growl than actual speech.

She sucked in a deep breath. "Sorry, Councilor. We took the code from a derelict reaper found in the Thorne System of the Hawking Eta Cluster. Cerberus located the reaper, which was all but completely disabled and in orbit around a brown dwarf, and sent a team to investigate and gather data. The team became indoctrinated after spending some time aboard the reaper, and they were all either slaughtered or turned into husks by reaper troops from within." Fighting back the urge to stretch out the few remaining tense spots in her neck and shoulders, Shepard shifted her weight to one hip and crossed her arms over her chest. "When we learned—after investigating a false turian distress signal which lead to a trap the collectors set—they used a reaper IFF to pass back and forth through the Omega 4 Relay unharmed, the Illusive Man sent the Normandy to recover the IFF from the derelict reaper."

"There's a derelict reaper in the Hawking Eta Cluster?" Quentius turned his head to look at Tevos. "Why didn't we know about this? We should send someone to study it immediately."

"If what the commander says is true, anyone we send would become indoctrinated." Tevos clasped her hands in front of her.

" _What do you know, she has a brain afterall."_

"Unless we devise shielding capable of protecting them." Valern hummed.

"It's irrelevant." Shepard shifted her weight to the other hip. "The reaper was consumed by the brown dwarf. We had to take out its core in order to escape the reaper, but destroying the core removed the mass effect field keeping it in orbit."

"Let me see if I understand this correctly: you found an intact reaper—something able to help us prepare for the enemy you've spent your entire career as a Spectre warning us about—and you destroyed it?" Tevos' brow inched up her face, and she shook her head. "I don't know what to say, Commander."

Caution seeped through the connection to Jane. " _Careful, Dawn, they'll end up charging you with something for that, too. Claim you sabotaged the war efforts."_

Shepard sucked in a deep breath and let it out slow, fighting with everything she had not to tell the asari councilor to go fuck herself. "It was the only way off the reaper and to get the IFF we need." She considered, for just a moment, telling the Council that she didn't even lead the mission just to shut them up, but she brushed the thought aside. No way in hell would she put James in their crosshairs—besides, he only followed her orders.

" _Not that he wouldn't be more than willing to take the bullet for you if it'd help,"_ Jane said, obviously knowing it wasn't something either of them would ever do to someone under their command.

"I agree, it's unfortunate we lost the reaper, but standing around arguing about whether or not Shepard did what had to be done will get us nowhere." Anderson squared his shoulders, lifting his chin a little higher.

"Anderson's right." Quentius flared his mandibles and dipped his head. "We need to determine if we're going to use this code or take our chances passing through the relay without the IFF."

"With all due respect, sir, going through the relay without an IFF would likely mean certain death." Shepard shook her head. "As I'm sure you well know, no ship besides collector vessels have passed through the Omega 4 Relay and come back out again."

"What assurances can you give us that this code is safe, Shepard?" Valern asked, his big, dark eyes moving back and forth as he studied her.

"Our specialists have scrubbed the code, and we've had it installed aboard the Normandy for a few days now. At the very least, nothing's come after the Normandy, and the ship is operating as it should." Shepard leaned forward, resting her hands on the back of her chair again. "We have limited intel on the collector base itself—gathered from the collector ship we boarded—but I can't tell you what exactly awaits us on the other side of the relay. All I can say is, with the IFF at least there's hope we'll be able to survive the trip. Without it …." She shrugged. "And that's just speaking about dealing with the relay itself. So far, we've only seen the collectors use their swarms to paralyze humans … but it doesn't necessarily mean they _can't_ use them against other species."

Tevos glanced between the other councilors before looking at Shepard again. "Commander Shepard, it almost sounds as if you're trying to talk us out of helping our allies."

"No." She shook her head, exaggerating the motion and slicing her hand through the air. "Not at all. I just want to make sure you know what you're heading into, Councilor, because I'm not going to be blamed if things don't go the way you expect them to. You send people into that relay, there's a good chance they won't come back out again." She looked around, meeting the gaze of each of the councilors.

Jane snorted. " _Please, you know they'll blame us either way."_

"We're prepared for that possibility, Shepard." Quentius nodded. "The turians fully understand the risks involved, and the Alliance has our support."

Valern blinked, dipping his head. "As are the salarians."

"We are all prepared," Tevos said, looking between the other councilors. "We will notify our ship captains to install the IFF code." The asari hesitated, her lips parted. "We understand you have a working relationship of sorts with Aria T'Loak."

Jane chuckled, the sound heavy with her sarcasm. " _If by 'working relationship' you mean blood shed and violence every time we meet, then yeah, we've got a 'working relationship' with Aria."_

Shepard lifted an eyebrow. "Something like that."

"It would …" Tevos paused, as if looking for the right words. "... benefit us all if you could make arrangements with Aria prior to our ships showing up en masse in the Sahrabarik System."

" _Oh, this is rich."_ Jane arched a non-existent eyebrow. " _Tevos is scared of Aria, and even though she wants to haul us in for treason, she's asking us to deal with the big, bad, scary asari for her."_

Shepard pursed her lips. "You want me to ask Aria for permission so you don't have to do it yourself?"

Tevos gave her a condescending smile. "I don't think 'permission' is the—"

"Yes it is." Shepard cut Tevos off, leaning back and shaking her head. "Don't worry about Aria. I'll speak with her." She smirked. "I'm sure some 'arrangement' can be made."

Tevos' smile faltered before leveling back out; the barely concealed rage of offense in her gaze burning tiny holes through Shepard. "Of course, thank you."

"One more thing, I assume you all understand I will be leading this mission. I also assume you've at least considered ordering your people to take me into custody, but I promise you," Shepard said, holding Tevos' gaze even though she spoke to all of them, "there is no way you will bring me in alive while the collector base still stands. And you can be sure, I won't hesitate to take down anyone who tries to stand in my way. This is bigger than your politics and any charges you're bringing against me."

" _I'm glad to hear you say so."_ Jane hummed. " _I knew you wouldn't turn yourself in before this is done, but I admit I wasn't so sure if you'd resist arrest if someone came for us before then. Of course it'll mean we'll be in even more trouble."_

"I know," Shepard thought, "but right now every human alive is depending on me to destroy the collectors. I'll do what I have to do."

Tevos blinked, something shifting in her eyes, and for the first time, Shepard thought the asari realized just how foolish she was to get on Shepard's bad side. "And once the collector base is destroyed?"

Shepard shrugged. "I won't fight them, but I won't wait around for them to take me in either. I have other things to take care of, Councilor. I'm doing everything I can to prepare the galaxy for the arrival of the reapers while the Council dithers back and forth on whether you actually even want to consider the reapers a viable threat." She took a deep breath. "I don't know what else I can do to convince you that they're coming, but they _are_ coming."

"The evidence you provided us from the Bahak System is sufficient to convince us of the reapers arrival, Shepard," Tevos said, pulling her shoulders back as if she thought she might still convince Shepard that she held all the power in the conversation, "but it doesn't change the fact you broke first contact protocol and potentially endangered everyone in the galaxy further through your actions with this 'aggressively neutral' species."

" _Bullshit."_

"No one ever trained me in the Council's first contact protocol and you damn well know it! You made me Spectre, and I hit the ground running, chasing down Saren." Shepard threw a hand up at the absurdity of the accusation. "I encountered an alien species, learned they were responsible for creating the reapers, and I tried to convince them to help us stop the harvest. What did you really expect me to do? Don't you think if I'd never found them, they'd still just be sitting back waiting for this cycle to be over? What _harm_ do you really think I did?"

Tevos' mouth pressed into a thin, tight line.

Valern cleared his throat. "We are not hear to discuss your ignorance nor your crimes, Commander. We have procedures in place—you will stand trial, your guilt and punishment determined according to our laws."

"For now," Quentius said, holding out a placating hand, "for the sake of those taken by the collectors, and considering your experience dealing with them to date, we will suspend your arrest until after the collectors are dealt with and allow you to lead this mission. We'll leave you and Anderson to figure out the details."

Tevos, Valern, and Quentius turned, almost perfectly in sync, and made their way to the door. Anderson watched them go, and as soon as the door closed behind them, he let out a heavy breath. His shoulders sagged when he turned back to her, looking twenty years older. Pulling out his desk chair, he sat down. Thane and Garrus moved back over, standing to either side of Shepard.

Anderson met her gaze, folding his hands on his desk. "I really wish you wouldn't press your luck with them, Shepard. They've yet to send anyone out after you, but if you keep antagonizing them, they will."

She offered him a noncommittal grunt. "Sorry, Anderson."

He snorted. "No you're not." Rubbing his hands over his face, he let out another sigh. "So, how do you want to do this?"

"I'll head to Omega. It's best I talk to Aria in person." Frowning, she raked a hand through her hair. "She's going to want something out of this, though, and she's smart enough to know she'll get more by putting pressure on the Alliance than the Council."

" _Knowing her, she'll want the Alliance to look the other way so Omega can expand their illegal trade activities into Alliance space."_ Jane cringed. " _Or maybe she'll ask for someone to be killed, or a dangerous criminal to be released."_

Shepard sighed. "Jane's right, anything Aria asks for isn't going to be something you're going to want to give her."

"See if you can talk her down to something reasonable, and then call me with her demands. I'll figure out a way to make it happen. In the meantime, I'll get in contact with the fleets and get them coordinated. That many ships going through the relays at once will require some work."

"Definitely." She nodded, reaching for the button to cut the call and deactivate the screen. "I'll call you as soon as I have something."

"Not so fast, Commander."

"Sir?" She glanced back at the screen, meeting his gaze.

Anderson lifted an eyebrow at her and leaned closer. "I'd like to know what the hell happened the last time we talked."

Her shoulders dropped. "I'm tired, Anderson. I just want to take a shower, eat something, and relax for a few minutes. I'm sorry, I'll ask Dr. Chakwas to fill you in."

He frowned but nodded. "Alright, Shepard … just please take care of yourself."

"I'm trying, I promise." She disconnected the call and then turned, leaning her backside against her desk. "EDI, set coordinates for Omega."

"Right away, Shepard."

Thane stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her waist, and she slid her hands over his shoulders, lacing her fingers behind his neck. Leaning in, he kissed her before resting his head against hers. "Wake me when you're ready to go speak with Aria?"

"Sure." She brushed her thumbs over the back of his head. "I'll come wake you up myself."

He smiled and kissed her again. "I look forward to it, siha." Letting his hands slide away from her waist, he stepped out of her embrace. He dipped his head at Garrus before making his way to the door.

Garrus moved over, taking Thane's place in front of her. "Hmm. Shower first or eat first?" he asked, pushing her hair behind her ear.

"Eat." She opened her desk drawer and pulled out a packet of dry rations, tearing it open with her teeth before collapsing in her chair.

Garrus leaned against the corner of her desk and watched her eat. "You don't want something more appetizing?"

"Maybe later. Right now I'm just interested in tiding myself over." She trailed her gaze over him as she chewed a handful of the dried apricots and cherries. "How're you feeling? You're looking better."

"I, uh, I feel a lot better." He scratched at a dark patch of healing hide just under his mandible. "It's nice not having to spend all of my time in the med bay. Dr. Chakwas said my heart has stabilized, the arrhythmia is gone. The neurological damage has repaired itself enough for her and Mordin to think it's safe to use stem-cell therapy to speed up the process." Watching her for a moment, his mandibles fluttered, and Shepard knew he was working up to something she wasn't going to like. "Dr. Chakwas doesn't want me going into the collector base with you … but Shepard, I swear, I'm up for it and I don't think she'll press the issue if you say you want me there."

She shook her head. "No. Garrus I can't risk you. I just can't. If Dr. Chakwas doesn't think you're ready, then you're staying on this ship."

" _I hate to say it, but you're right. He's not up for this run, he'd be a liability at best, at worst …."_ Jane trailed off, her voice softening at the end, various images of Garrus dying on the collector base seeping through to Shepard before Jane slammed the door down on them.

His mandibles drooped. "Shepard—"

"Don't, Garrus, please." Closing her eyes, Shepard took a shaky breath. "You know I want you there, I want you at my six, but I _need_ you there when the reapers hit." She swallowed, tears welling up behind her eyelids. "You can die on this mission. We've seen it happen before." Sniffling, she tossed the half-eaten ration to her desk and swiped her hand over her cheeks, wiping away the wet streaks and looked at him. "I've already done everything I can to make sure this run goes smoothly, but gods, so much has changed." She trembled from just the mere thought of losing Garrus, she couldn't imagine anyway where she'd survive it if she actually did lose him. "I can't guarantee anything anymore, and I can't have you there while you're still recovering. I can't risk it. I won't."

Taking her hands in his, he tugged her to her feet and pulled her into his arms. "It's alright, I'll stay on the Normandy. I'll be safe, I promise. You'll have the others with you, and the Council is sending in ships, too." Rubbing her back, he hummed, a soothing sound reaching down into her soul to ease the ache. "Come on, let's get you in the shower."

She nodded, letting him lead her into the bathroom. She began taking off her clothes while he started the shower, sore muscles protesting the action of lifting her shirt up over her head, but still the pain seemed far less than when she first woke up on Gellix. Sitting down on the toilet, she pulled her boots and socks off, tossing them toward the door.

Garrus turned to her when she stood back up, and he swiped a tear from her face. "Want me to get in with you?"

"Yes," she said, nodding again.

Taking a couple of steps back, he started strippig off his own clothes. She wiped her eyes again, watching him. It'd been so long since they'd been alone together in something even remotely considered an intimate setting; she saw the full extent of his Lichtenberg scarring for the first time. The burns were healing, no longer a deep, nearly black shade of blue, but definitely permanent marks on his hide that would never fade completely.

" _I hate seeing him like this."_

"You and me both," Shepard thought.

She stepped out of her pants and kicked them aside before shimmying her panties down her hips. He hummed, a familiar, throaty sound of arousal, and she looked up to find him watching her waist as she moved. Clearing his throat, he looked away, mandibles fluttering as he turned to the shower stall, but not before she saw the hint of blue peeking out between the plates of his groin. Gods she missed him. Concentrating on getting her arms up high enough to unhook her bra, she bit back a groan of complaint.

Garrus stepped into the shower, turning back around to hold his hand out to her. Dropping her bra on the floor, she crossed the floor, taking his hand and letting him guide her under the steaming spray. The water hit the tender skin around her still healing incision, and she bit back a hiss, pulling her head away from the heat. She tugged him closer and stepped into him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek to his chest, letting the hot water on her back and the feel of him in her arms wash away the last of her tension.

"I love you." She tightened her grip on him.

He hummed, nuzzling the top of her head. "I love you, too." Running his fingers along her spine, he sent shivers through her, despite the hot water coursing over her skin.

A small moan escaped her lips, and she pushed into him a little closer, rubbing her face against his chest. She missed his touch so much, the feel of bare hide and plates against her skin set her nerves on end. He hummed, pressing his palm flat against the small of her back and pulled her a little closer still, his hips brushing against her stomach.

After a moment, he grabbed her hips and gently pushed her away, turning her around. "Let me look at your head."

She brought her hands up, already finding the movement much easier than before she got under the hot water, and parted her hair, letting him see the swath of Medi-gel covering her sutures. "How bad is it?"

"Actually, it doesn't look so bad at all. Definitely not as bad as when Jane cut into you, or even when Mordin removed the control chips." A gentle talon pushed more of her hair out of the way before he let it drop. "Did Miranda say they're working the way they're supposed to?"

She turned back around to face him, rubbing her palms over his chest. "So far, yeah."

"And Jane's alright?" he asked, mandible flaring wide.

" _I'm not happy about it, but I'm fine."_

Shepard shrugged a little. "She says she's not happy about it, but she's fine."

"Hmmm." He fluttered his mandibles, but for the first time in a long time, he didn't seem bothered by the idea of Jane being there, an invisible presence between the two of them. "How are you feeling?"

"Not horrible." Feather light, she traced the pattern of the scars over the hide of his stomach. "I woke up with a lot of sore muscles, but they're easing up as I use them, and the hot water's helping. Miranda and Mordin said it was expected."

" _The scars actually look kind of cool."_

Shepard snorted. "Jane says your scars look kind of cool."

He chuckled, drawing her attention back up to his face. "Definitely. They almost make it worth nearly dying."

Shepard arched an eyebrow at him, not really finding the humor in the statement despite Jane's chuckle.

He flicked his mandibles, giving her a roguish grin. "I said 'almost.'" Humming, he picked up her body wash. "I tell you what, I'll let you deal with your hair, but I've got the rest of you."

She smirked, knowing an evasive maneuver when she saw one, but let it slide and picked up her shampoo. "Deal."

Garrus squirted the body wash right into his hands and rubbed them together a little before crouching. Starting in on her right leg, he squeezed and kneaded the muscles of her calf as he spread the soap around, working his way up to her thigh. His hands worked magic—and on more than just her sore muscles, sending delightful shocks of heat and need straight to her nether regions.

Jane groaned, giving Shepard the impression of rolling her eyes, and she retreated to wherever she went when she wanted to give Shepard privacy.

Emptying a little shampoo out into her hand, Shepard smiled down at him, watching his mandibles flutter as he took in her scent. She put the bottle back and worked the shampoo into her hair, fingers avoiding the tender areas. Garrus moved on to her other leg, massaging as he washed, and she rinsed her hair. She reached past him and grabbed her conditioner, squeezing some into her palm before putting it back. He pushed back up to his feet, picking up the body wash again. Closing her eyes, she smoothed the conditioner over her hair and sighed when his hands settled down over her hips. Rinsing her hair again, a whimper caught in her throat when his hand slid down between her legs, fingers barely brushing over the sensitive area before moving on, testing her response as much as cleaning her, she thought.

Opening her eyes, she reached out, trailing her fingers over his arms as she moved them up to his shoulders. He met her gaze, fire burning in his eyes, and leaned in to kiss her, tongue skirting over her lips. She opened her mouth, meeting his tongue with hers and pushed herself flush against him, feeling him hard and exposed against her stomach. He reached behind her, cupping her ass, rubbing the slick soap into her skin before moving up her back.

He pulled back, running his hands over her stomach and up to her breasts, brushing his thumbs over her nipples. Mandibles fluttering, he met her gaze. "Do you … hmm, are you feeling well enough to—"

"Gods yes. Are you?"

Smirking, he flicked a mandible at her. "I think I can manage."

Trapping the corner of her lip between her teeth, she raised an eyebrow. "Bed?"

"Bed."


	80. Chapter 57: Afraid to Ask

**Chapter 57: Afraid to Ask**

Shepard had tried to sleep, but despite feeling tired, sleep just wouldn't come. She supposed her body decided it had enough, spending three days knocked out under heavy sedation. Still, it felt nice to lay there in Garrus' arms, listening to his light snore. Two hours in, though, she had to move, needed to get up and do something because the echo of Anderson's voice and 'three million' refused to leave her head in the near silence, and Jane seemed content to let her stew in her thoughts. She suspected Jane was busy stewing in her own thoughts and just doing her best to keep from dumping even more anxiety in Shepard's lap.

Untangling herself from Garrus' arms, she pressed a kiss to his mandible and shushed him when he stirred. She slid from the bed and padded across her cabin on bare feet, making her way to the bathroom. Sitting down on the toilet, she propped her elbows on her knees and pressed her face into her hands. So much was going wrong with the mission, she felt doubt creeping in along the edges of her consciousness, roots digging in deep along her spine. They didn't even take out the Illusive Man first as planned, and now, he'd have to wait until after they hit the collector base. With a little luck, with everything else going ass up with the mission, maybe he wouldn't think she'd still be interested in coming after him.

Finishing up, she wiped herself and stood, flushing the toilet. She washed her hands and then picked up her brush, carefully running it through her hair before pulling it back in a low ponytail. Making her way out of the bathroom, she went to her closet and took out clean clothes before tossing them on the couch. She stood in the middle of the floor and let her gaze drift around the cabin, looking at nothing in particular until her gaze settled on the framed pictures of the people she'd lost already in the war. She crossed the floor to pick up a picture of Kaidan, and she felt Jane stir in the back of her head.

" _Do you ever wonder what their lives would be like if they never met us?"_ There was something wistful in Jane's tone, something weary and edged with grief. " _Kaidan, Ashley, Liara, Dr. Tulina … wonder what they'd be doing right now if they never came aboard the Normandy?"_

"Well, Kaidan was on the Normandy before us … and Ashley still would've lost her unit on Eden Prime, so she still would've been there when Anderson showed up to secure the beacon," Shepard thought.

" _Don't be so literal, you know what I mean,"_ Jane said, giving Shepard the impression of an eyeroll.

"Yeah," she thought, putting the picture back down and picking up the one of Ashley instead. "I don't know, I guess Kaidan and Ash would be stationed somewhere else. They'd still be soldiers, so they'd still be dragged in to fight the war. Liara might've been taken by Saren's men on Therum … or maybe she'd be on some other prothean dig site, looking for her next big discovery and trying to understand who the protheans were. I suppose Dr. Tulina would be working at a clinic somewhere, trying to help people deal with their mental traumas."

She sat the picture of Ashley back down and picke up the picture of Jack, smiling as she squatted down next to the bomb they set off on Pragia. Smiling, she thought, "Jack would still be in stasis on Purgatory, or maybe sold off to someone who wanted to use her to rob banks or something." She put down the picture of Jack, and picked up the one of Tali and Kal, maskless on Rannoch. "These two may or may not be together, but they definitely wouldn't have had this moment together on their homeworld."

Jane hummed. " _I suppose you're right."_

Shepard sat the picture back down and returned to the couch to get dressed. She glanced over her shoulder at Garrus as she stepped into her panties and thought, "He'd probably still be stuck at C-Sec, slowly becoming more and more disgruntled with the way things worked until he towed the line just a little too far and got fired or worse." Pulling on her bra, she smiled, finding it didn't hurt at all to reach behind her and hook the small clasps. "Thane might've died going after Nassana, and Kolyat would be in prison for murder."

Jane seemed to ponder this for a moment, her unarticulated thoughts rolling around like a fog in Shepard's head. " _You think Kolyat would've gotten caught?"_

"Probably. Hell, maybe Garrus would've been the one to catch him … if he didn't get killed outright by Talid's bodyguard," Shepard thought, easing her shirt down over her head. "If we didn't call out to Kolyat when we did, the krogan might've realized Kolyat was coming on his own and shot him first."

She put on the rest of her clothes before peeking her head into the bathroom again, making sure she didn't muss her hair by putting on her shirt. After glancing down the stairs at Garrus' sleeping form one last time, she turned and left the cabin. Taking the elevator down to the third deck, she felt the tension in the atmosphere as soon as the doors slid open. Cerberus crewmen milled about, coming and going from the mess and crew quarters, whispering quietly amongst themselves. They smiled, nodding their heads or saluting when they saw her, but then hurried their steps.

Shepard made her way to the mess hall, and even Gardner seemed distracted and worried. Still, he offered her a warm smile and dished her up a bowl of his asari gumbo before pouring her a cup of coffee and sitting it on the tray. She carried it to a mostly empty table and ate in silence, watching the people around her until Jacob slid into the seat across from her.

"Hey, Commander." He looked around, taking his time scanning the crowd. "Things seem pretty tense, don't they?"

"They know we're hitting the finish line." She scraped the last of her gumbo on her spoon, holding it in front of her as she added, "There's a lot riding on this, especially now Earth's been hit."

Jacob looked down at the table in front of him, a frown creasing his brow. "Yeah. How bad is it, do you know?"

Shepard glanced around her and took a drink of her cooling coffee, a little surprised the operative hadn't already hit the extranet to find answers. "Last report puts it at about three million humans taken."

"Damn." He shook his head, paused, and then shook it again. "Damn."

"Yeah." She put down her coffee cup. "Listen," she said, standing and picking up her tray, "I need to go see Dr. Chakwas. I'll call a meeting after I talk to Aria and fill everyone in on the plan, figure out some of the last minute details."

Jacob stood and saluted. "Ma'am."

She nodded at him and then carried her tray back to Gardner, content to let him take the tray without comment. Turning on her heel, she fought to push away the pit of writhing snakes in her stomach and marched on to the med bay. Dr. Chakwas looked up when the door opened and smiled, pushing away from her desk and opening her omni-tool.

"How are you feeling, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas started scanning Shepard as soon as she slipped up on one of the beds.

"Not bad. Head's a little tender, but I'll be alright." Shepard glanced over her shoulder, seeing the bed Kasumi had been occupying since the attack on the Normandy abandoned. She smiled, glad to see the thief decided to return to the hangar after all. "Kasumi doing OK?"

"Kasumi will be fine, physically. I'm a little concerned about her mental state, but I think James will be able to help her through. It's good she's returned to the hangar, I think she's been afraid to go back down there." Dr. Chakwas closed her omni-tool and grabbed gloves out of the nearby dispenser, slipping them on her hands. She parted Shepard's hair and gently prodded the area of the incision. "Your scans look good. The activity levels are still a little high for being inactive, but I suppose with everything going on, it's understandable."

"Full disclosure," Shepard said, lifting her chin away from her chest just enough so her words wouldn't be muffled, "I had some of Gardner's deplorable coffee a few minutes ago, too."

Dr. Chakwas chuckled, letting Shepard's hair fall back into place and patted her shoulder. "I didn't think it was so bad."

"It's not Grundan Krul's." Shepard slid down off the bed when the doctor stepped away. "So, am I good to hit the base or are you going to argue against it until you're blue in the face?"

"Even if I believed you weren't fit for duty, I know there's no point in arguing against it." Dr. Chakwas scoffed. "Not on this one. Garrus on the other hand—"

"Don't worry, doc." Shepard held up a hand to save the doctor breath. "We already had this talk. He's staying on the Normandy."

"Good." Dr. Chakwas leaned her hip against the bed. "Jane, how are you doing?"

" _I've been better, but I've been a hell of a lot worse, too,"_ Jane said, and Shepard repeated, expecting to play mouthpiece for Jane for awhile.

Instead, Dr. Chakwas nodded and asked, "Shepard, have you given any consideration to what we spoke of? Giving Jane the opportunity to come out periodically? Miranda did as you asked and left a way for you to allow Jane to take control. She said the implant should also make it easier for you to regain control if necessary."

"Uh," Shepard said, scratching her temple, "I guess … if it's controllable … yeah. Yeah, I can do that. After this thing with the collectors is taken care of."

" _Yeah?"_ The utter shock in Jane's voice carried no subtlety.

"Yeah," Shepard thought, a smile tugging at her lips. "So long as John's around to provide me with a little back up in there."

" _He said, 'Anytime.'"_ Jane practically vibrated with excitement, a sensation making Shepard feel as if her brain itched.

EDI's hologram sprung to life in the corner of the room. "ETA to Omega, thirty minutes, Shepard."

"Thanks, EDI." Shepard turned her attention back to Dr. Chakwas. "We done here, doc?"

"Of course, Commander." Dr. Chakwas returned to her chair.

Shepard left the med bay and made her way to life support. The door slid open, the room dark save for the blue glow of the drive core coming through the observation window. She heard Thane shift on the cot before she'd taken two steps, which wasn't a surprise at all, he'd always been a light sleeper, snapping awake at the slightest change to whatever room he slept in.

"Siha?" He sounded half asleep, voice lacking the clarity of his usual alertness.

The sound of his voice stilled Jane, her excitement sloughing away to reveal concern for the drell. " _He doesn't sound good."_

"Mhmm." Answering both of them with the one sound, Shepard made her way to the cot, the darkness no more a hindrance for her in life support than in her cabin.

His hand wrapped around the back of her thighs, urging her closer. "Have we reached Omega?"

"We're a half hour away." She turned sitting on the edge of the cot next to him, and he moved his hand to her waist, arm stretching over her lap. Reaching out, she traced the edge of his jaw, face just barely visible in the blue glow. "But I think you should stay here and get some more sleep. I'm going to need you in a few hours when we go through the Omega 4 Relay, and you're exhausted. I can hear it in your voice."

He let her words linger in the air between them a moment before he finally responded, "I don't trust Aria with you, siha."

"I can handle Aria. I've been handling Aria for a thousand lifetimes, but either way, I'm not going in there alone." She leaned down, kissing him and holding his lip between hers for a couple of seconds. "Stay here, get some more sleep." She started to sit back up.

His arm snaked further around her, pulling her back to him, his lips finding hers again. "Lay down with me, for just a little while, and I will stay."

She smiled; how could she possibly say no? Pulling her legs up, she situated herself on the cot, snuggled in against him, head resting in the crook of his arm. "Sounds like a win-win, to me."

He chuckled, running his hand back and forth along her arm. The movement becoming slower within seconds, his breathing evening back out, but she heard the strain with each breath. He'd been pushing himself too hard for her sake. They both knew he had a terminal illness, as if either of them could forget for even a second, but they both also knew he was determined not to let it stand in his way. He wanted the last of his time alive to count, and she respected his wishes, but she didn't want to see his stubbornness speed the process along, either.

When the ship docked, Thane stirred again, his arm tightening around her. "Be careful, siha."

She sat up, pulling herself from his arms and leaned over to kiss him. "I will. Love you."

He brushed his knuckles over her cheek. "And I you."

A part of her just wanted to stay there, say fuck Aria, the Council, and the collectors, but she knew she couldn't do that, no matter how much she wanted to. She stepped away from the cot, smiling down at him again before making her way from life support. Stopping in front of the elevator, she took a deep breath. "EDI, tell Jacob and Zaeed to head to the airlock. I'll suit up and meet them there."

The elevator slid open while EDI gave her acknowledgement, and Shepard stepped inside, pressing the button for her cabin. When she arrived upstairs, she found Garrus sitting up on the edge of the bed, tugging on his pants.

He smiled at her. "There you are." Standing, he pulled his pants up around his waist and crossed the floor to take her in his arms. He tucked his face in against her neck, breathing her in, and hummed. "Is Thane going with you to see Aria?"

"No." She slid her arms around his cowl, pulling him in a little closer. "I made him go back to sleep. Jacob and Zaeed are going with me."

He hummed, rubbing his hand up and down her back before giving her a kiss. "Zaeed's a good choice for Omega." He stepped back, hands moving to her hips, and met her gaze. "Let me help you get your armor on."

She nodded, stepping away from him to open the cabinet where she stored her gear and began pulling it out. As they began snapping the pieces into place, she tried to imagine just how many times he'd been there, doing the exact thing for her in her current life and all the others. The only answer she could come up with was simply 'countless'. Holding her arms out to her sides for him to fit her breastplate in place, she sighed. "I don't like you not being able to come with me through the relay. It feels wrong. This whole damn thing feels wrong."

"Hmmm. You know I'm more than willing to come, but I have to wonder if the nerves are just because things aren't going the way you're used to them going." He glanced up from her breastplate. "The way Jane's used to them going."

"Maybe." She resumed her silence, watching him as he helped her finish her armor and check over her weapons. And maybe he was right, for all she really knew, everything would work out perfectly. They'd all get out of there alive, and the allied forces would help her save any humans the collectors hadn't yet liquified. Maybe.

" _Maybe,"_ Jane agreed, but she didn't sound any more convinced than Shepard felt.

Garrus handed her helmet over, and she tucked it under her arm. Leaning in, he kissed her before pressing his forehead to hers. He took a deep breath and flicked a mandible. "It'll all work out. It has to."

"Yeah." She rubbed her head against his. "I love you, Garrus Vakarian."

He grinned and then nipped at the side of her jaw, whispering in her ear, "I love you, Dawn Shepard."

She pulled away from him and let out another sigh, letting her gloved fingers run down his bare chest. "I'll see you in a bit. Hopefully Aria doesn't drag this out."

He fluttered his mandibles. "Tell Aria that Archangel says hello."

Shepard snorted, turning on her heel and making her way to the door. "I'll be sure to do that."

She took the elevator down to the CIC, catching sight of Zaeed and Jacob already waiting for her. Dipping her head at Kelly as she passed, she made her way to the airlock. She stopped in front of the two men and rolled her head. "Alright, let's go make nice with the queen of Omega."

The airlock slid open, and they left the Normandy, making their way towards the everpresent sound of thumping bass. The crowds waiting, lined up outside the door, desperately waiting for the chance to get inside Afterlife, grumbled when Shepard and her crew marched right on past them and headed for the stairs.

A man's voice broke through the din of the crowd as she passed. "Why do they get to go in while we're stuck out here?"

"That's Commander Shepard," another man said. "I heard she helped Aria defend Afterlife when the mercs hit the place."

"I don't give a shit who she is, bitch isn't better than us." The voice of the first man carried to her, filled with bitterness and bile. "She should have to wait in line, too."

Shepard stopped in her tracks and turned on her heel, scanning the crowd, trying to pick out the owners of the voices. Everywhere she looked, people either looked on cluelessly or shied away from her gaze. Finally, she spotted two human men who looked for all of the galaxy as if they were praying they could disappear completely. She took a step toward the men, and the crowd started to push back, putting distance between themselves and the men they probably thought she was about to slaughter. Fist flexing at her side, she continued closer, Zaeed and Jacob at her back.

" _You really think starting a fight with potential paying customers is going to win Aria over?"_ Jane asked, ironically playing the voice of reason in Shepard's suddenly red-haze filled mind.

She stopped a few feet away from the men—who apparently decided if they couldn't disappear, then they should try to look as tough as the could instead, standing with their arms crossed, feet shoulder width apart, sneers plastered on their faces. She nodded at the first one to fully meet her gaze; a man easily the size of James, with greasy, black hair hanging down over his eyes in limp tendrils. "What's your name?"

He scoffed, lifting his chin up to look down his crooked nose at her. "The fuck you want to know my name for?"

She didn't realize she intended to do it until the biotic energy had already left her, wrapping itself around the man and pulling him closer to her until he hovered a foot away from her. Guns whirred to life around her, blue sparks of biotics flared up in her peripheral, but she only pulled the man a little closer. Some distant part of her savored the look of terror in his eyes, not because he felt afraid of her, but because maybe, just maybe, the asshole had some semblance of intelligence in his thick skull and just might be able to understand the severity of what she was about to tell him.

Reaching through the dark energy with her free hand, she grabbed a fistfull of his shirt and yanked, pulling him down to eye level and put her face next to his. She kept her voice low, and as calm as she could, but still the words hissed out between clenched teeth. "Earth just got hit by the collectors. Earth. Millions were lost. Do you get it? You have family, friends, back on Earth? What about one of the colonies that were hit?"

The man nodded. "Ye—yeah, I have family on Earth and I have—had friends on Freedom's Progress."

"Then you _do_ understand how serious this shit is. I get to go in while you stand out here because I have business with Aria, business which will help me get a rescue team in place so _hopefully_ I might be able to save some of those poor souls who were taken. You get to stay out here and wait because you're a pathetic waste of space who only gives a damn about trying to convince some asari dancer to take pity on you and give you a quick fuck. Why don't you grow a fucking conscious, start thinking about something other than your dick, and go do something to help Earth?" She dropped her biotics and let the man crumple to the floor when the sudden return of gravity and his awkward position sent him scrambling to stay upright.

He stayed there on the filthy ground, legs and arms sprawled, not even trying to right himself as he stared up at her. She watched him for a moment, noting the whirlwind of emotions storming through his eyes. Taking a deep breath, she nodded when she finally saw him settle on determination. He pushed himself up to sitting and returned her nod, taking her hand when she held it out to him, letting her help pull him to his feet.

"Shepard?" A voice called from a few feet away, and she turned to find Bray watching her, his arms crossed. "Aria said if you kill him, she expects you to clean up the mess and pay for any damages to Afterlife property."

Shepard snorted, a one-sided smile lifting the corner of her mouth. "We were just having a talk. I think we're good now." She glanced back at the man whose hand she still held. "We good?"

He gave her a single, sharp nod. "Yeah, we're good."

"Good." She patted him on the shoulder with her free hand before letting him go.

Only then did she glance around at the rest of the scene laid out around her. Turians and batarians with assault rifles—Aria's men—held their guns at the ready, some leveled at the crowd, even more leveled at her. A handful of men and women in the crowd had drawn pistols or surrounded themselves with biotics, but they didn't have them aimed at anybody in particular, nobody moved. Zaeed and Jacob had their weapons drawn and leveled at the guards.

" _Well, that's not 'good.'"_ Sarcasm dripped from Jane's voice.

Shepard laughed and shook her head. "Relax, people. It was just a conversation." She held up her empty hands. "I didn't even draw a weapon." She knew it probably sounded more like a boast than a genuine attempt to smooth ruffled feathers, but she was alright with that.

Bray smiled, the first she'd seen from the batarian in _her_ life. "Aria's waiting for you."

"Can't have that now, can we?" Shepard started walking, smirking as Aria's guards fell into place around her and her team, acting as a barrier between her and the crowd.

Bray walked alongside her. "Something big always seems to happen whenever you stop by."

She lifted one shoulder in a shrug, making her way up the steps. "Purely coincidence."

"Uh huh." He glanced over at her as the door slid open for them. "Try to keep the coincidences at a minimum."

Shepard snorted. "No promises."

They made their way through the club, trailed by Aria's men. Shepard noticed an increased fervor in the dancing bar patrons, triggering a memory of something Joker said to Jane and the others after the reaper invasion: "Can't you see the desperation? This isn't happy dancing, this is forget my problems dancing. Look at the arms. If a guy waves his arms like that, he's worrying about a lot more than looking stupid on the dance floor." Maybe, just maybe, the galaxy might have their collective heads out of their asses and ready for war this time around. At the back of the club, she stopped at the foot of the stairs and glanced at Bray. He nodded his head toward the top, so up she went.

Aria sat on her couch, as usual, arms stretched out over the back and legs crossed at the knee. "I've been expecting you."

"Have you?" Shepard cocked an eyebrow.

"Earth being hit by collector ships could only mean you'd show up on my doorstep sooner or later." Aria waved a hand, glancing around as if she were already bored. Her gaze settled on Shepard, and the corner of her mouth lifted, the devious spark flaring to life in her eyes. "What do you want, Shepard? More importantly, what are you willing to give me for it?"

" _I think I like her even less than ever."_ Jane narrowed her non-existent eyes at the asari. " _She was far easier to get along with with her requests were simple, like warn Patriarch and help her reclaim Omega."_

"Reclaiming Omega was simple?" Shepard thought, raising a mental eyebrow.

" _No, but at least it didn't get in the way of our mission,"_ Jane said, " _and we did save lives."_

Shepard didn't wait to be invited to sit before taking her usual spot on Aria's couch. Leaning forward, she propped her elbows on her knees and met the asari's gaze. "When I give them the go ahead, several fleets from the council races will be coming through the relay into Sahrabarik System. All I want from you, is you're word you'll give them safe passage through the system and into the Omega 4 Relay."

"You're actually doing it, going through the Omega 4 Relay?" Aria scoffed. "You're either exceptionally brave, or exceptionally stupid."

"I prefer exceptionally smart. I have a way through the relay, but I need your reassurances the ships won't be attacked in any way." Shepard sat back, folding her hands over her stomach. "And I've been asked by Councilor Tevos to negotiate this with you."

Aria all but rolled her eyes and glanced away, boredom apparently returning that easily. "If Tevos wants something from me, she should ask me herself."

Shepard shrugged. "Yeah, but let's face it, you scare the shit out of Tevos."

Aria laughed, returning her gaze to Shepard. She stared at Shepard a moment, eyes cold, appraising. "But not you, it seems."

"Not much scares me anymore." Shepard gave Aria a slow hake of her head. "I've seen what's coming … it makes everything and everyone else seem like a joyride."

Aria nodded a little, lifting her hands a couple of inches off of the couch. "The reapers, right, of course."

"Of course," Shepard said, keeping her tone as bland as the asari's. She'd already said her peace to Aria about the reapers, there wasn't any point in taking the bait.

Aria tapped her fingers on the back of the couch. "Tell Tevos I'll give your fleets safe passage, but the next time I call—and I _will_ call—she'd damned well better answer."

" _That sounds ominous,"_ Jane said.

Shepard arched an eyebrow. "That's it?"

Aria smiled. "That's it."

"I'll let her know." Shepard pushed herself up from the couch.

"See that you do." Aria turned her attention to Bray. "Put the word out. Anyone fucks with Shepard's fleets, they answer to me. In person."

Shepard watched as Bray nodded and walked away, heading back down the stairs. Returning her gaze to Aria, she found the asari watching her. "Oh, Archangel said hello."

Aria smirked. "I'm sure. Tell him anytime he wants to come back to Omega to play the hero, I've got a few things he can take care of first." She folded her hands in her lap. "I wonder if you really know who it is you're sleeping with, Shepard?"

"It doesn't matter, the turian you knew is in the past." Shepard shook her head, dropping her weight to one hip and crossing her arms over her chest. "Who he was on Omega … whatever he did for you … that's not who he was before, and it's not who he is now."

"You sure about that?" Aria held her gaze, challenging Shepard, daring her to really look inside herself to find the answer to the question. "I don't think you are."

"I should go." Shepard dropped her arms, shifting her weight back to both feet. "I have to organize the fleets." She turned, making her way down the handful of stairs leading up to Aria's throne room.

" _You're not sure about it, are you?"_ Jane's empathy washed over Shepard. " _I'm not either, but I think … I think I know Garrus well enough to know whatever he did, he had his reasons, and he probably didn't let Aria in on them. We should talk to him about it, just ask him what he did for Aria."_

"Yeah," Shepard thought, trying her hardest to fight back the twisted knot of snakes writing around in the pit of her stomach.

"Try not to kill my customers on your way out," Aria called after her.

Shepard stopped at the base of the stairs, and glanced over her shoulder. "I didn't draw a weapon, didn't even hit him."

"I know, I was watching the security feed." Aria jerked her head up in question. "What did you say to him?"

Shepard forced a smile on her face, wanting nothing more than to tell Aria to fuck off and go back to the Normandy to clean the stink of Omega out of her nose, mouth, and lungs. Instead, she turned back around to face Aria but stayed where she was. "I inspired him to do something better with his life than talk shit."

"If I recall, the last time you were here, you said you didn't come to Omega to recruit." Aria uncrossed her legs before crossing them again in the opposite direction. "I assumed you meant since you had Archangel and Mordin, you weren't interested in anyone else Omega might have to offer."

Shepard shook her head. "I don't have any issue taking volunteers from Omega, but I wasn't recruiting him for the war." She shrugged. "Just reminded him that his people are hurting and he's wasting his time hoping to get laid by one of the dancers."

Aria tilted her head back, laughing up at the ceiling. "Go, Shepard. Organize your fleets. If you survive this suicide mission of yours, come see me again. I'll give you the answers to the questions you're afraid to ask."


	81. Chapter 58: Minimal Casualties

**Chapter 58: Minimal Casualties**

The fleets from the Council races were already filing through the relay. Shepard's team had been briefed. It was time. She should be thinking about what laid ahead, getting through the Omega 4 Relay in one piece, taking out the collector base … saving over three million people … but all she could think about was what, exactly, Garrus might've done for Aria.

Sighing, she tossed the datapad down on the coffee table in her cabin. She'd gone up there to try to center herself and look over the reports while they waited for the last of the fleets to report in. Who was she kidding, though? She needed to have a talk with Garrus before passing through the relay or her mind wouldn't be one hundred percent in the game, and that's where she needed it to be. "EDI, ask Garrus to come up here, will you?"

"Of course, Shepard." EDI's paused before adding, "Garrus is on his way."

"Thanks, EDI." Shepard leaned forward, propping her elbows on her knees and rubbed her face.

A few minutes later, her cabin door slid open, and she turned to look over her shoulder, watching as Garrus appeared on the stairs. "Hey … we need to talk."

He stopped on the last step, mandibles fluttering. "Why does it sound like you're going to tell me something I don't want to hear?"

Jane snorted, the sound far from delicate in the back of her mind.

She smiled and raked a hand through her hair, throwing herself back against the cushions with a heavy sigh. "Actually, I think you're going to tell me something I don't want to hear."

"Hmmm." He stepped down and crossed the floor to stand next to the couch. "And what might that be?"

She looked up at him and held her hand out, waiting for him to slip his fingers over her palm before she tugged at him, urging him to sit. "I need to know what happened between you and Aria while you were on Omega. She's going to end up telling me whether I want her to or not, I can tell … and I think I'd rather hear it from you."

Folding his leg, he sat sideways on the couch next to her and draped his arm over the back. His mandibles worked soundlessly for a moment, his eyes taking on an icy edge that made her stomach twist in knots. Settling her hand on his knee, she chewed on the inside corner of her lip, waiting while he seemed to put his thoughts in order.

Garrus sighed. "Aria didn't pay me much mind until I had a team put together. I think she started seeing us as a threat, so she arranged a, ah, meeting."

Lifting an eyebrow, she asked, "Meeting?"

His mandibles fluttered, gaze dropping down to her hand. It'd been a long time since he'd shown embarrassment, but she'd be damned if it wasn't painted all over his face as clearly as his colony markings. "Hmmm, you might call it an ambush. A few of her men caught me off guard while I was away from the base alone, they drug me into Afterlife and threw me down on the floor at her feet." A frustrated growl distorted his words, but not so much her translator couldn't pick up what he said. "She said she wanted to meet this Archangel who'd been causing so much talk in her streets." He shook his head and glanced up at Shepard. "I thought she was going to have me killed. I wasn't entirely sure I cared."

She fought back the urge to wince and scold him for letting such a thought even cross his mind. "What happened?"

"Basically, she told me if I wanted to continue to operate on Omega, she needed something from me in exchange. She wanted me to oversee a couple of smuggling shipments—weapons to a group of batarians known to take part in the slave trade, and crates of narcotics … Hallex, illegal stims, Red Sand, the usual. She also 'suggested' I avoid taking out anyone doing her business, and offered me a list of names of groups who were getting dangerously close to being seen as competition to her businesses."

" _He gave weapons to slavers? Gods, that goes against everything he's ever stood for …."_ Jane seemed to shift forward, almost as if she were leaning in toward Garrus, scrutinizing the turian. " _Hell, even smuggling drugs is just … no, there has to be more to this."_

Shepard swallowed, turning her head to stare out across the room, thoughts racing as she tried to find a way to shine a positive light on his revelations. Something that wouldn't make her skin crawl whenever he touched her, because the idea of him helping Aria give batarian slavers weaponry made her want to vomit—especially considering he damned well knew about the raids she survived on Mindoir, the same raids which stole from her everyone she knew and loved as a child, parents included. The drugs, she didn't like, but she could handle. Acting as Aria's personal hitman was a sickening, but at least she knew the names on Aria's list were likely people who'd end up on Archangel's radar anyway. Hell, Shepard herself killed Anto for Aria. No, she killed Anto for information, a lead on Garrus and Mordin, and to prevent further issue with Aria.

" _No wonder Grundan Krul seemed surprised the first time Aria mentioned their 'arrangement.'"_ Jane hummed, leaving Shepard with the impression of a baffled shake of her head. " _Surely_ that _would've gotten a rise out of him. Hell, I doubt anyone on Garrus' team would've been thrilled with the idea of being under Aria's little, blue thumb."_

"Dawn, it's not as bad as it sounds, I promise." He scooted a little closer, leaning in to run his fingertips over her jaw. "I agreed to Aria's demands, but do you really think I'd let it go at that? Spirits." He tugged her chin a little, getting her to turn her face back to him. His eyes had taken on a fervent cast, no longer crystal blue ice, but wild, blue fire.

Watching her for a moment, seeming to search her gaze, he dropped his hand from her face only to scoop up both of her hands in his. "I sabotaged the batarian slaver ship, it never made it back to Lorek. The whole thing was destroyed," he said, shaking his head, "nothing but debris floating in space. If anyone bothers to go looking for the black box, it'll show an electrical malfunction lead the a core overload. As far as Aria's concerned, she got her payment and delivered her product. I expected her to be pissed, if for no other reason than she lost repeat customers … but honestly, I think she knew I'd do something. I think she wanted me to, and that's why she never even asked me about the ship."

" _Sounds like Aria,"_ Jane said, her tone taking on a soothing lilt. " _I know I said before that you broke him, but … he's still Garrus."_

Sucking in a deep breath, she felt her muscles relax a little, and she closed her eyes."Yeah." The words came out weaker than she intended, so she nodded for good measure.

"The ship carrying the narcotics was intercepted on Council orders the second it left the Terminus Systems. I know they unloaded some of the cargo in nearby systems first, but it was the best I could do." He fluttered his mandibles when she looked at him again. "Did I kill for Aria? Yeah. Yeah, I did. I did some terrible things on Omega, I'm not going to pretend I didn't, but never to people who didn't deserve it. And yeah, I also avoided killing certain people for Aria, some of the worst scum I've ever met, but I did what I had to do." Mandibles fluttering in a strange mix of defiance and pleading, he let out a soft keen, tightening his hands around her fingers.

Jane geared up to say something else, thoughts churning in the back of Shepard's mind, but she stopped herself at the sad sound coming from Garrus. It tore at Shepard's heart, and she knew it did the same to Jane. And, if the strong wave of apprehension washing over her was anything to guage things by, then the majority of Shepards still 'alive' in her head were also disquieted by the evidence of Garrus' inner turmoil.

"I had to stay on Omega. Even when, hmm." He stopped and closed his eyes, shaking his head, mandibles flared wide. "Even when I felt filled to the brim with rage at you, even when I was a keening mess, mourning you and trying to drown myself in alcohol … even when I began to doubt you would ever really come back. I thought if I left Omega—if I let myself give up completely—then you _definitely_ never would."

She sighed, reaching out to tug at one of his mandibles, using it to guide him to her. Eyes popping open, a slow smile spread over his face, his other mandible fluttering with the gesture. He leaned in, pressing his mouth plates against her lips before gathering her up in his arms and dragging her over to his lap. She laughed, settling into the bowl made by his bent leg and tucked herself in against his chest.

He hummed, apparently satisfied all was well between the two of them. Nuzzling against her head, he pulled her in a little closer. After a moment, he let out another soft hum, contemplative and curious. "You ready to go blow up a collector base?"

"As ready as ever, I suppose." She shrugged against his chest, ignoring the part of her that didn't feel so confident and really just wanted to tuck her head under his chin and hide there.

"That is good news, Shepard, because the last of the fleets have arrived," EDI said.

Shepard sucked in a deep breath and let it out in a rush, letting her lips flap. "Thanks, EDI. Tell Joker to go ahead and organize the entry into the Omega 4 Relay and start heading that way. Let the crew know to be ready, and make sure Kasumi goes back up to the med bay. If the oculus busts through the hangar again, I don't want her down there."

"Right away, Shepard."

Tilting her head back to look up at Garrus, Shepard met his gaze when he glanced down at her. "Kiss me for luck?"

He smirked, a soft purr in the back of his throat as he brought his mouth to hers. Parting her lips, she trailed her tongue along the edges of his mouth plates until he opened his mouth to her, tongue joining hers. Wrapping a hand around the back of his head, just under his fringe she held him close to her, savoring the kiss for long seconds before letting it end with a sigh. Untangling herself from him, she stood and picked up the datapad, tucking it under her arm.

He followed her over to the cabinet she kept her armor in and helped her suit up. When the last piece of armor was secured and the last of her guns in place, he leaned in and pressed his forehead against hers. "I'm going down to the battery, make sure—"

"The guns are calibrated, yeah, I know." She chuckled, brushing her hand over his arm.

He flicked a mandible at her. "Hmmm. I'll see you on the other side. Take a few shots for me?"

"You bet," she said with a grin. "I'll even yell out 'scratched one' and 'one less to worry about.'"

" _Don't forget 'scoped and dropped' or 'never saw me coming.'"_ Jane laughed. " _Oh, and his battlefield love confession for his weapon 'I love this rifle.'"_

"I don't say those things in battle," he said, deadpan.

Shepard snorted. "Uh huh. Jane just reminded me of a few others, too."

He chuffed, giving her a playful growl as he slid his arm around her waist, leading her out of the cabin. "Jane, aren't you supposed to be trying to win back my favor?"

" _Hey, I like your … battle cries. They're very_ you _, and they let me know you're still alive out there on the field."_

He chuckled when Shepard repeated Jane's statement, pushing the elevator call button. "At least it's better than 'nothing's faster than Chatika vas Paus.'"

"Don't be a bosh'tet." She stepped on to the elevator when the door slid open, moving to the back to turn and lean against the wall. "I'm telling Tali you're making fun of her drone."

"I'm not making fun of her drone," he said, pushing the buttons for the second and third decks. "I'm making fun of her weird obsession with her drone. The drone I'm good with, it does its job distracting enemies and taking down their shields."

They took the elevator down together, Shepard stepping off on the CIC while he continued down to the third deck. When she reached the cockpit, she found Miranda already there, hovering behind Joker with her arms crossed and her hip cocked. Shepard put a hand on Miranda's shoulder, and the woman glanced at her.

Stepping aside, Miranda turned her attention back to the ship's controls. "Everything is in order, Commander."

Joker cast an irritated glance at Shepard, and she fought back a smirk. She knew he hated having the Cerberus operative overseeing his work, as if he didn't know the Normandy better than the engineers who put it together. Laying a hand on Joker's shoulder, she gave it a little squeeze. She looked out the window, seeing the Omega 4 Relay looming in the distance, the Normandy just outside of its reach. Ships of various makes and sizes spread out around the Normandy, waiting for Shepard's orders.

Patting Joker's shoulder, she removed her hand and stuck them both behind her back. "Open the channel, Joker. I have something to say, and I want everyone in here and out there to hear it."

"Aye aye, ma'am." He pushed a couple of buttons before looking up at her. "Channel is open."

She nodded, squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin. "This is Commander Shepard. For some of us, this day has been a long time coming, others of you are just joining us. We're glad to have you, and humanity is grateful to have the Council's support. Some of us are probably frightened, uncertain about our odds. No one has gone through the Omega 4 Relay and come back out again. We can't be sure what we're facing on the other side. For some of us, this may very well be a one way trip, though I for one intend to survive."

Jane seemed to smirk, giving the lie to Shepard's words. _They_ had gone through the relay and survived, time and time again. _They_ knew what to expect on the other side. And _they_ did it all _without_ the Council's support.

Shifting her weight a little, Shepard paused to take a couple of breaths before continuing, "No longer are the collectors sticking to the Terminus Systems. No longer are they acting as cowards, tiptoeing around the edges to attack colonies separated from the protection of the Alliance and the Council. They mistook our political boundaries for weakness, acceptance of their crimes, and they attacked Earth, the homeworld of humanity."

Shepard's words seemed to take a little of the fire out of Jane's ego. Yeah, they may have done all of that in Jane and the others' time, and sure, it gave Shepard an advantage, but the fact was, the circumstances were far different. Jane had begged Shepard to change things in the beginning, and she'd done her best to do just that. The reality left them all hoping it didn't come back to bite her in the ass.

Thane stepped into the cockpit, drawing Shepard's attention for just a second as he took up position behind the co-pilot's chair. He nodded at her and then turned his gaze out at the relay.

"Some of you may be wondering how long until the collectors stop going after just humans. How long until they move for Thessia, Palaven, or Sur'Kesh? Well, we're not going to give them the chance. Today we're going to show them not only does humanity not stand alone, but we stand with some of the most powerful allies this galaxy has ever seen! We're going through the Omega 4 Relay, invading _their_ home where they think themselves safe and protected, and when we come back out again, the collectors will never be a threat to anyone in this galaxy again." She tapped Joker's shoulder, making a slicing motion in front of her neck when he glanced up.

He jerked his head in a nod and pushed a couple of buttons. "Nice speech, Commander. Let's just hope EDI was really able to isolate the IFF code for all of them."

" _She damned well better have, or we're going to be in serious shit. Try explaining that one to the Council."_

EDI's hologram fluttered to the left of the pilot, the iris opening and closing as she spoke. "Legion and I are certain the code is safe and will work as expected, Jeff."

Shepard smiled at the hologram. "I trust you, EDI, and so does Joker, even if he doesn't want to admit it."

"Thank you, Shepard," said EDI.

"Let's get this ship moving." Shepard glanced at Thane before looking over at Miranda. "You might want to find something to hang on to, it's going to be a bumpy ride."

The propulsion systems kicked in, the inertial dampeners negating the feeling of movement, leaving the stars and ships shifting past in her peripherals the only sign Joker followed her order. Gripping the back of Joker's chair, she turned her attention back to the swiftly approaching, red relay. The first of the flashing hazard beacons came into sight, and from the corner of her eye, she saw Thane clasp his hands in front of him, bowing his head. The Normandy pulled out in front of all the other ships, the spearhead of the lance aimed straight for the Omega 4 Relay. She glanced down at the sensor read out on Joker's console, noting the blips indicating the ships were still following on track.

Shepard filtered through the memories bubbling to the surface, pulling the ones she needed in the moment to the forefront. "You're going to need to reroute the drive core's electrical charge when the IFF is active."

Joker glanced at her, but she didn't meet his gaze, letting the surety of her tone speak for itself.

"Reaper IFF activated," EDI said. "Signal acknowledged."

"Rerouting the core. Hitting the relay in five … four … three … two …." Just as Joker would've said one, the red tendrils of energy whipped out from the relay, grabbing the Normandy, flinging the ship out right toward the galactic core at FTL speeds.

"Brace for deceleration," EDI, Shepard, and Jane said in unison.

"Oh, shit!" Joker swerved to avoid a head on collision with the remnants of an ancient ship only to have another piece of debris clip a wing. The ship jerked, but he had it steadied out and on a path to clear the thickest parts of the debris field before Shepard could tell him to keep it steady.

She swallowed, though, unease creeping along her spine. Replaying her memories of the trip through the relay, she didn't even need Jane's confirmation that no, he'd never clipped the wing the same way before. He always had to dodge on reentry, but not once did the Normandy take damage so soon until just then. At least not before the oculus started dogging them.

"Joker, slow down! We want the Normandy in one piece!" Miranda all but screeched, digging her fingers into the side of his chair.

"Uhhhh, it won't be in one piece if we're still in the way when the other ships start coming through." He spared an agitated glance over his shoulder before turning his attention back to the controls, brow furrowed in concentration. "Duh."

" _Duh,"_ Jane repeated.

Miranda huffed, but didn't say anything else.

"PFS Havincaw reporting in." EDI began listing off the names of various ships as they came through the relay, but hearing 'PFS Havincaw' transported Shepard to another time, another place.

Steve Cortez stood next to her—him—leaning over a rail, looking out over the Citadel airspace on the docks. Steve pushed away from the railing, moving a little closer to Shepard. "Hey, turian frigate. I think that's the PFS Havincaw."

Shepard followed his gaze to the frigate before glancing back at Steve. "What's one turian warship doing at the Citadel?"

Steve leaned back over the railing. "Looking for drydock, I bet—"

"Kinda need to concentrate, EDI," Joker said, the strain in his voice pulling Shepard away from the other life. "Maybe just let us know if there's a ship that _doesn't_ show up."

"Very well, Jeff."

Shepard blinked, pushing away the residual voices of a conversation she might never actually have. After all, Ferris Fields didn't get attacked in her lifetime. Steve Cortez's husband was probably still alive. The man wouldn't be lost in mourning when she met him, if she even met him at all.

"Careful, Jeff. We have company."

"Normandy, this is the Cybaen." A woman's voice, asari no doubt, if she was on the Cybaen's crew, filtered through the cockpit's comm system. "You have enemy movement on your flanks. We're sending out fighters."

"Copy that, Cybaen," Joker said, his hand never ceasing movement over the controls. "Thanks, wouldn't want them to scuff up my baby."

" _Don't let him rely on the Cybean completely,"_ Jane urged, images of the oculus ripping through the hangar flashing through Shepard's mind.

"Be ready for evasive maneuvers anyway, Joker." Shepard leaned in, making sure she wasn't overheard by the Cybean. "These things are fast and they pack a punch. The plating will hold against their lasers, but they'll project themselves right through the hull."

Joker pushed a button, muting the connection to the Cybean. "Now you tell me."

"She told us before." EDI's voice took on a cocky tone, making Shepard smirk. "Should I play the log of the conversation for you?"

Joker snorted. "No, EDI. God, whose side are you on anyway?"

"I am on the side that keeps the Normandy and our crew alive," EDI said, her tone soft and filled with an affection the AI still didn't seem to realize she knew how to feel.

" _Amen, EDI."_

"I'm with EDI." Miranda shifted her weight to the other hip, white knuckling the side of Joker's chair as the ship nose dived before shooting back up again.

One of the asari fighters came into view, blowing up an oculus, as the ship leveled back out, and Joker whooped. "Hell yeah!"

A moment later, the asari's voice came over the comm once more. "You're clear, Normandy."

Unmuting the comm, Joker grinned and said, "Thanks, ladies."

Shepard cleared her throat.

"Uh." His gaze flicked to hers before shifting to the green glow of the open comm. "I mean, ma'am."

The asari chuckled. "Anytime, Flight Lieutenant."

Joker cut the comm as the Normandy rounded an enormous chunk of what looked like prothean era ship, the collector base coming into view. Miranda let go of his chair, crossing her arms once more. Thane stepped a little closer to Shepard, and Joker let out a low whistle.

Jane grew still, and Shepard could feel the push of memories against her consciousness, held at bay only through Jane's efforts. Still, she knew what Jane fought to keep from her in that moment, things she'd seen already, images of the people she cared for dying on the collector base looming ahead of them. She set her jaw, she would _not_ be losing anyone else.

"It's going to send a cruiser out after us." Shepard lifted a shoulder and tilted her head to the side a hair. "Well, at least it always has before. Same one that took down the old Normandy, but who knows what will happen now. So much has changed …."

"We're ready for it, Shepard," Joker said, glancing up at her, eyes filled with determination and support. The way he looked at her … he wasn't just her pilot, but her friend. "Don't worry. I'll get you to the base. You just focus on getting the job done once we land."

"Shepard, I'm getting reports from the Alliance fleet." EDI drew her attention away from Joker. "It appears a cruiser was lying dormant in the debris field. It has activated and is now flanking the fleet."

" _Shit,"_ Jane said, echoing Shepard's sentiment.

"Notify the turian fleet, ask them to send ships with Thanix cannons to assist." Shepard fought the urge to let her shoulders slump. She knew her crew needed to see her with her head held high, needed to see her confident, not despairing. "We're too far out to turn back to help them now."

Joker looked up at her, his eyebrows raised. "You sure?"

In response, Shepard lifted a hand, pointing at another cruiser disengaging from the base. "We have our own battle to fight."

Voice solemn, EDI said, "The turians are sending assistance, Shepard."

"EDI, is that it?" Joker's eyes narrowed, lip lifting in a silent snarl as he took in the collector ship. "Is that the piece of shit that took down the old Normandy?"

"Scans of the cruiser's emissions suggests it is, Jeff."

"Oh, ho, ho. Hang on you guys, I'm about to light those sons-of-bitches up." His hands flew over the controls, almost faster than Shepard's eyes could track. "Firing the main guns!"

The Thanix cannons whirred to life, the shift in mass effect energy almost palpable. Just as Joker took the first shot—shearing through the outer, hive like plating—another cruiser left the base. But then, the darkness of space suddenly lit up with fireworks, and the Normandy became surrounded on either side by asari and salarian ships. Shepard sucked in a slow breath, holding it for a second, examing the spark of hope springing forth in her chest.

A moment later, the Thanix cannons charged again, Joker took another shot, slicing through the cruiser, already set ablaze in several locations thanks to their allies. The collector vessel exploded with thick flames, billowing out in all directions, chunks of the ship ripping away only to be thrown into the path of the second cruiser.

"The ship attacking the Alliance has been destroyed," EDI said, and Shepard swore she heard relief in the AI's voice. "Alliance and turian ships are back on course with minimal casualties."

" _I wonder what Cerberus taught her to view as 'minimal casualties.'"_

"I don't want to know right now," Shepard thought, her stomach churning as she watched the destruction in front of her.

Bile rose up into her throat as it occurred to her, there very well may still have been humans on those collector ships. Hundreds. Thousands. Maybe even more. Another piece of the destroyed cruiser blew off as something critical exploded within, sending shrapnel spinning out of control. Pieces of the ship careening right towards them.

"Shit." Joker lifted the Normandy, turning the ship on her side, but still, something slammed into the ship hard enough to nearly knock Shepard off her feet. "Shit, shit, shit. They hit the guns!"

"Several of the allied ships have been severely damaged." And just like that, the relief disappeared, leaving the AI sounding almost mournful. "Emergency evacuation procedures have begun."

"Put me through to the main battery," Shepard barked the order at EDI, waiting for the comm light on Joker's console to turn green. "Garrus, the guns have been—"

A deep growl followed by the sound of something metal hitting metal cut her off. "I'm already on it, just need a minute. Buy me some time."

Joker pushed a button on his console. "We're going to need a minute for the cannons to be realigned."

Salarian and then asari voices responded back, telling Joker they'd cover the Normandy. Shepard slid into the co-pilot's chair, sitting sideways, barely aware she'd slipped into the breathing exercises Thane taught her to try to soothe her racing thoughts. Salarian and asari ships moved out in front of the Normandy, surrounding them. The collector ship fired, taking out three asari and two salarian ships in one blow.

"Bloody hell …." Miranda whispered, but still, it carried enough volume in the graveyard-like silence of the cockpit to reach Shepard's ears.

Shepard's breathing stalled, heart sinking into the pit of her stomach to bathe in the excess acid, until Thane laid a hand on her shoulder, a gesture she barely felt through her armor, but it was enough to remind her to breathe. "Joker, those cannons ready yet?"

"Almost … there!" He lifted the Normandy up above the blockade of ships that moved in to take the place of their fallen comrades, and then angled the Normandy down, sending them racing toward the cruiser.

Firing off the cannon, he ripped through the front end of the collector ship, tearing off a piece and sending it off course, forcing it's shot to go wide, off into the debris field. The moment the cannon finished priming for its second shot, he took it, shearing straight through the back side of the cruiser while the other fleets continued to fire. Just like the first one, the ship burst into flames, the force and heat enough to rock the Normandy, but Joker got the ship out of there before the explosion could do any real damage.

Turning the ship around, he took them back closer to the fleets, giving Shepard a view of the damage already done. Damage brought on by her meddling with fate, changing things to try to make them better, to try to break her cycle. How many more lives would be lost for her sake? Fires, already consuming all of the oxygen available to them, began to burn out, leaving at least fifteen new, shattered husks of ships to drift away into the graveyard surrounding them. A few ships held back, picking up escape pods, but the rest stayed the course, following the Normandy's lead as they closed the distance to the collector base.


	82. Chapter 59: We Lost too Many

**Chapter 59: We Lost too Many**

Shepard stepped over a turian corpse, blue blood still trickling out of the massive hole in his head. The battle raged around her, but she no longer heard the sharp bark of gunfire or the deep, resonate thrum of biotics; the only sound was the beat of her heart, blood coursing through her veins and pounding in her skull. Hundreds of thousands of resin coffins stood empty, the people inside escorted back to the waiting ships, countless more filled with the soupy remains of humans, melted down to be pumped into the embryonic reaper. Skirting a dead salarian, she locked her sights on the glowing form of a possessed collector and activated her biotic Charge, knocking the collector back before shooting it in the face.

"You cannot stop the Harvest, Shepard." Harbinger's voice echoed through the cavern, somehow able to penetrate the fog surrounding her mind, bringing a rush of noise back in with it. A collector to her right began to glow. "You will regret your resistance."

Grunt slammed into the collector, and Shepard turned to face the next threat. Blood and gore surrounded her, everywhere she looked. People banged on the inside of the pods holding them captive, their screams silenced by the cacophony, faces contorted in agony as the machinery ground them into mush. The conveyor lowered the next batch of pods to the ground, and Shepard kept fighting, trying her hardest not to notice just how many of those pods no longer held living people as the allied forces rushed to open them.

"Commander, we found Admiral Hackett." An unknown man's voice filled her ear, one of the Alliance soldiers, she assumed. "He's alive."

" _Thank gods,"_ Jane whispered.

"Good, keep him that way." Shepard hit a Harbinger collector with a Reave, ripping away its barrier.

Her head throbbed, muscles complained with every movement, but still she fought as the hours ticked by. At least it felt like hours. She wasn't exactly sure anymore, and she wasn't going to waste time stopping to check her omni-tool. When she ran out of ammo, she picked up the weapons of the fallen: human, asari, turian, salarian, or collector, it made no difference in the end. She could almost hear the voices of those she absorbed, feel the beats of their hearts, taste their rage and their fear. She commanded biotic powers never known to her before, wielded more dark energy than she'd ever felt, as if she found and tapped into a wellspring, hidden within herself. But still people fell around her.

As the conveyor brought down more and more pods, fewer and fewer contained anything but liquified corpses. Another seeker swarm arrived, but the biotics already learned a Singularity detonated with a Warp did wonders to kill off the insectile creatures. Shepard turned from blowing the head off of a collector to rip a husk off of Jacob's back, throwing it to the ground and stomping on its face.

"Shepard, I detect no more life signatures within the remaining pods." EDI's voice filled her ear, heavy with a sympathy the AI would only deny being able to feel. "I'm sorry, we have saved all we can."

"How—" Shepard's voice cracked when she tried to speak, mouth and throat bone dry. She licked her lips, desperate to work up some saliva, and tried again. "How many did we get, EDI?"

"One million seven hundred and sixty-three thousand four hundred and two," EDI said.

The number echoed around in Shepard's head, ripping open her heart like a strike of lightning rending a tree in two. So few …. Did they even manage to save half once the colonists were factored in? Gritting her teeth, a growl ripped through her throat, and she Charged, slamming into the nearest collector.

"This yield has been lost. Protect the unascended," a Harbinger collector said, and in an instant, all collectors in the area took flight, seeming to retreat into the distance.

Shepard dropped to one knee, exhausted. Thane crouched in front of her, resting a hand on her shoulder. She looked up, meeting his worried gaze and nodded. The rest of her team moved in around her as she pulled herself back to her feet, chest heaving. She looked around at the floor littered with the bodies of allies, men and women who died because of something she changed … collector pods seeping carnage … their lives, all of their lives, were on her head.

She swallowed down the bile rising in her throat and turned her attention to her crew. "We need to keep going. We have to destroy the reaper they're making and blow this place to hell."

"What about them?" James asked, nodding his head in the direction of the allied forces still moving survivors out of the base.

Glancing over her shoulder, she swallowed again. "The collectors pulled back to protect the reaper, they're not going to make it easy for us. They'll have time to finish the evacuation and get their ships clear of the blast. Once I set the charges, we'll have ten minutes to get the hell out of here and back to the Normandy." She started over to the transportation platform. "Let's go."

They piled onto the platform, and it broke away from the dock, moving out over the seemingly bottomless canyon below. The trip to the next dock passed in silence, her team members shifting around on the platform to take in their surroundings and check their clips. Shepard knew in other lives, they'd be forced to fight their way through more collectors on the dock, but the area remained quiet. She lead them across the dock, only to find there wasn't another platform waiting for them. The collectors must've recalled them all to try to slow her progress.

She brought a hand to her ear, activating her comm. "EDI? Can you get a platform sent back to us?"

"Yes. Overriding the platform's console now, it will arrive shortly," said EDI.

"Thanks." She leaned against the low wall, a collector assault rifle resting atop her thighs.

"You're welcome, Shepard."

She pushed away from the wall when she saw the platform arriving and waited near the edge. The platform docked, and Shepard stepped on, moving to the console while the others followed her. "Remember, once we take out the tubes, it'll fall, but it won't stay down. When it comes back up, aim for the eyes, the weapon in its mouth, and the core in its chest."

"Don't worry, Ídolo." James reached over, putting a hand on her shoulder and giving her a little shake. "We've got this."

She tried to smile, but she felt pretty sure it came across flat and forced. "Yeah."

Tali hissed, drawing Shepard's attention to the reaper construct looming in the distance. Her heart stopped for a moment, pain lancing through her chest before it started beating again. It wasn't the same reaper as before. Well, it was, only far more advanced. Metal plating covered the skeletal features, encasing the head and chest as if skin and muscle. Legs dangled down below where once there was nothing, and more tubes held the monstrosity in place, anchored into the chest, hips, knees, and ankles. Its head turned, glowing eyes zeroing in on Shepard as the platform approached. Opening its mouth, a scarlet vortex appeared, charging the cannons.

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Get down! Everybody get down!" She grabbed James, his hand still on her shoulder, and dragged him down with her, pressing her back against the low walls of the platform.

Her heart slammed against her chest, cold, blood-curdling fear ramping up her adrenaline once more. Everyone crouched, getting as low as they could, but it was too crowded, there wasn't enough room for everyone to have adequate cover. The blast hit, washing over the platform and making it rock.

She watched, horror-stricken and helpless from her position, as Zaeed tumbled over the edge, his scream a like a spike rammed through her skull. Grunt threw himself forward, trying to catch the old mercenary, but he only made the platform tilt further, nearly capsizing the entire thing before he caught himself and scuttled back. Miranda and Samara both tried to catch Zaeed using their biotics, but it was far too late. He was gone. Zaeed was gone.

" _Oh gods …."_

"EDI, can you make this thing go any faster?" Shepard yelled into her comm as she lifted her assault rifle, clenching her jaw down on a bellow of fury, turning to shoot from cover the moment the platform stabilized.

She didn't need to give the order, everyone started firing, focusing their attention on the enormous threat that just claimed one of their own. They'd mourn later. EDI didn't respond, which was just as well since Shepard doubted she'd have heard the AI over the sound of gunfire. Legion moved to the console, though, and within a second the platform picked up speed. The reaper was already charging another blast when they docked; the collectors wasting no time to swarm them.

Ordering her team forward, they claimed two more platforms as their own. She took a moment to activate their Medi-gel, washing herself and everyone else in the cooling relief of the life-saving substance stolen from the corpses of her allies. With the humanoid reaper already … conscious, she didn't waste her time shooting out the feeding tubes, though she knew some of her squad would still target the anchors while others focused on the collectors. It certainly wouldn't hurt to have the reaper drop, but she'd be damned if she wasn't going to hit it where it hurt.

Shepard fired round after round into the core of the reaper, her shots mingling with those from James and Kal. Legion took shots at the tubes holding the reaper in place, and Thane focused on the eyes. Grunt threw himself into the fray, bowling over collectors while everyone else stayed behind cover, using biotics, tech, and weapons to fight the prothean husks.

A tube shattered, and the reaper tore its arm free. Swiping at the interlocked platforms on the other side of the dock, two platforms ripped away, falling into the darkness. Collectors on the platforms took flight, some moving to other platforms, some staying airborn to fire down on Shepard and her team. The reaper's arm swung out again, fingers gaining purchase on one of the low walls of the dock, and it used the leverage to pull its other arm free.

Hunkering down over the dock, the reaper opened its mouth, the vortex already building into another cannon blast, the core in its chest obstructed from Shepard's view. Its gaze locked on her, and she ducked behind the wall, forcing herself as low as she could without lying prone. The blast swept over her platform, heat searing the air around her, eating through her shields and making her feel as if she was being cooked alive for a few seconds before dissipating.

Looking back out of cover, a collector particle beam ripped through her armor, slicing through the meat of her upper arm. She hissed, ducking back behind the wall and grit her teeth. Glancing around the edge once more, she hit the collector responsible with a Reave, using it to boost her shields before returning fire.

"The forces of the universe bend to me," the Harbinger collector said. "We will end you."

Grunt slammed into it, knocking the glowing collector back before ramming the butt of his shotgun in Harbinger's puppet's face. Jack sent out a Shockwave, throwing several collectors back, and two fell over the edge only to reappear a moment later, wings fluttering. Mordin sent an Incinerate at one, burning up its wings and making it drop into the abyss. The reaper began charging its cannon once more, head swiveling towards Grunt.

"Grunt, get down!" Shepard yelled, aiming her assault rifle at the charging weapon in the reaper's mouth. She fired off several shots, drawing the reapers attention back to her, and she kept firing until the last minute, ducking back into cover only once the spinning stopped, ready to fire.

The blast went off, dropping Shepard's shields again, but James was unlucky enough to be caught in the blast. The shot lifted him off his feet, throwing him like a ragdoll. He slammed into a raised platform before dropping back to the floor, landing face first. She rushed to him, grabbing his hand and dragging him back to the safety of cover before activating the Medi-gel release. James coughed and groaned, pulling himself up to sitting, his back pressed against the half-wall. She put a hand on his shoulder, keeping him under cover until his head cleared enough to reorient to the battle. Looking up, he met her gaze and nodded. She slapped his armored shoulder and returned the gesture, turning her attention back to the reaper.

"Assuming control." Harbinger's voice echoed in Shepard's ear, each syllable spoken only adding fuel to her fire. "I am the harbinger of your ascendence."

She fired off a few shots aimed at the reaper's mouth, but it closed its makeshift lips, armoring the cannon. She cursed, the core still hidden from her, too, and aimed for the eye instead. Throwing its head back, the reaper screeched as one of its eyes exploded. The sound reminded her of the anguished screams of the people who died to give the reaper life. Opening its mouth, the vortex began spinning again, pulling together energy for another cannon blast.

"Such beings need never fear pain," the Harbinger collector said. "Kill one and one hundred will replace it. You are arrogant, Shepard, you will learn."

The screech of rending metal and loud pops filled the air seconds before the reaper lifted a knee onto the platform, pushing itself up, hovering over Shepard and half the team.

"Fire on the core," she yelled, rushing for new cover, using her biotic Charge to take down a wounded collector along the way.

The blast hit the pillar she hid behind, chewing through her shields and burning her, but failing to do any real damage. A moment later the core shattered, and as Shepard glanced around the edge, the light faded in the reaper's other two eyes. Its head lolled forward, the joints of its arms letting out a low whine as it began to tilt. Right elbow buckling, the reaper listed to the side and began to fall.

"Shit." Shepard started running in the opposite direction, dodging collectors the best she could. "Get out of the way, go, go!"

Launching herself over one of the half-walls, she raced down the length of the dock, putting as much distance between herself and the falling giant as she could, praying the dock was strong enough to hold out. A Harbinger collector stepped right into her path, lifting a hand as corrupted, dark energy formed around its fist. Shifting her footing to dodge, she didn't quite make it, the attack slamming into her, taking down her shields and knocking her back.

The entire dock shook beneath her feet, the noise of the enormous crash disrupting all other sound. The quaking knocked her flat on her ass, and the Harbinger collector took flight, firing at her while she lay prone. Before its bullets could rip through her armor, the collector burst into flames, dropping back to the dock before exploding into ash. Mordin stood over her, hand outstretched. Slapping her palm into his hand, she let him help her back to her feet.

Lifting her assault rifle, she spun around, scanning the destruction around her. All of the platforms at the far end and even half the dock had been ripped away as the reaper fell into the darkness. Collectors unlucky enough to be in those areas were gone, too. James and Jacob lay on their stomachs, reaching down over the edge. A quick scan of the faces around her told her Grunt must've fallen when the reaper crashed. She rushed back to the edge, firing on collectors trying to swarm James and Jacob.

With the reaper gone—hopefully for good—her team pulled back in around her, covering her six while she covered James and Jacob's. A moment later, James heaved, and Grunt's hand slapped down on the jagged, torn edges of the dock. Shepard let out a relieved bark of laughter.

"Irrelevant. You are short-sighted," Harbinger said through the mouth of another long-dead prothean. "Shepard, you cannot stop us."

Grunt got his elbows wedged on the dock, and James and Jacob shifted out of his way, grabbing on to his armor where they could and helped drag him back over the edge. Seeing the krogan back on his feet, she turned her attention to the remaining collectors. Exhausted and sore, she pressed on, firing her assault rifle until it clicked empty. Ducking behind cover next to a collector's corpse, she threw the assault rifle aside and scavenged a new one from the body.

Within minutes, the sound of gunfire ground to a halt, and Thane called the all clear. Shepard slumped, resting her back against the wall while she caught her breath. He moved to her side, standing over her, his own chest heaving as he offered her his hand.

She shook her head. "Give me a minute."

Dipping his head, he turned and sat on the edge of the wall. Gaze roaming over the rest of the group, notably absent of Zaeed, she swallowed back a wave of grief and activated the group Medi-gel release. She was so sure … so sure she'd make it through the Omega 4 Relay and back without losing any of her crew.

" _It's not your fault,"_ Jane said, her first actual words spoken since the Zaeed fell to his death. " _The collectors … it was never like this before. They never got so far on the construction of the reaper, there was never so many to fight here …."_

Tali sunk to the floor next to Shepard and leaned into her shoulder. "Are you alright, Shepard?"

"No," Shepard said before she even realized the word formed in her mind. Swallowing again, a tear fell down her cheek, and she shook her head. "We lost too many."

Tali leaned in further, putting a little more pressure against Shepard's arm. "You can't blame yourself, you did everything you could to try to save everyone."

"Yeah." Shepard didn't really want to hear it. She'd heard way too many versions of 'you did your best' to last her a million more lifetimes. Pulling herself to her feet, she held her hand out to Tali, helping the quarian up before activating her mic. "EDI, have they gotten all of the survivors out of the base?"

She waited a few seconds, expecting to hear the AI's voice fill her ear, but there was only silence. "EDI?"

Nothing.

Her blood turned to ice, her heart sinking down into the pit of her stomach. She heard the panic creeping into her own voice when she tried again. "EDI? Can you hear me?" She waited another moment, turning to face Thane when he put a hand on her waist. "Joker? Joker are you there?"

"Commander?" James stepped in a little closer to her, voice filled with concern.

"Joker?" When she still didn't get any response, she turned, looking over her shoulder back towards the exit and dropped her hand. "Damn it. I can't get the Normandy on the comm. James, take a team and head back, see what's going on. I need to make sure the survivors and allied forces are clear before I set the charges."

James gave her a sharp nod before turning to the others. "Kal, Tali, Jacob, Legion let's go."

They piled onto a platform, and Legion activated the console. Disengaging from the dock, the platform took off, carying James and his team back towards the exit. Shepard took a deep breath, trying to stave off the sense of impending doom settling back in around her shoulders.

"I'm getting a call from the Illusive Man." Miranda took a couple of steps closer, gaze shifting from her omni-tool to Shepard. "Do you want me to answer it?" She tapped her omni-tool, projecting a holographic image of the Illusive Man when Shepard nodded.

He took a drag from his cigarette. "Shepard, I've lost contact with Kelly Chambers. She was keeping me updated on the mission. If this is your doing—"

"It's not." Shepard sliced her hand through the air, cutting him off. She didn't have the time or the energy for another bullshit power play. "I can't get EDI or Joker on the comm, either. I don't know what's going on. I've sent a team back to the Normandy to check on things. We're waiting here to blow the charges as soon as we get word the other ships have cleared the blast radius."

"I see. I suppose this means the Council has commandeered the Normandy. They probably have the entire crew in handcuffs by now." He let out an exaggerated sigh and took a drag from his cigarette. "I don't suppose there's any point in trying to convince you to use a timed radiation pulse to kill off the remaining collectors instead, so the technology can be salvaged?"

Shepard dropped her weight to one hip and crossed her arms over her chest. Gods, she hoped he wasn't right about the Normandy being taken by the allied forces. She agreed not to fight them if they tried to arrest her after the mission, but no way would she sit on her hands if they went after the people she cared about. "Nope."

"We can use that technology—"

"Nope." She cut him off again, giving him a definitive shake of her head. "It's never worked in favor of the war before, it isn't going to this time, either."

Jane hummed, thoughts bubbling just below the surface of Shepard's consciousness. " _But Miranda will be in charge this time."_

"Yeah … but we don't know for sure _what_ caused his indoctrination. What if he loses it completely _because_ he gets his hands on a part of this reaper either way?" Shepard thought. "We might just be setting Miranda up to be indoctrinated."

" _Fair point,"_ Jane said, sounding mildly disappointed.

"You can't know that, Shepard." The Illusive Man cut through the air with his cigarette. "You've said yourself that you've … changed things. I know you and I don't see eye to eye, but you have to know I only want what's best for humanity, and ending this war as swiftly as possible is in all of our best interests."

She looked down at her feet for a moment and then shook her head. "No. We don't need this to win the war. Nothing good can possibly come from this nightmare or the things you'd do if it fell into your hands." Glancing up at Miranda, she said, "I'm done talking. Cut the call."

"Yes, Commander." Miranda's hand ran over her omni-tool, and a very annoyed looking Illusive Man disappeared.

Jack shifted around, moving a little closer to Shepard. "You think he's right? You think those assholes took the ship?"

"I don't know." Shepard shook her head, sucking in a deep breath knowing Jack was thinking the same thing she was: Garrus was still on the Normandy. "It's a possibility."

Jack swung a fist at the air before grabbing her head with both hands. "Fuck, what else could it be?" She threw her arms out to the side and started pacing.

"We _have_ just infiltrated the collector's base." Miranda cocked a hip and crossed her arms, lifting an eyebrow.

Jack stopped pacing and glared at her. "Shit …. That's not fucking reassuring."

"It wasn't meant to be." Miranda waved a dismissive hand. "It's practical. Either way, we won't know until Lieutenant Vega reports in. There's no point in dwelling on maybes and what ifs until then. Stay focused on why we're here. We'll deal with whatever is going on with the Normandy once we've returned."

Jack snarled, taking a step toward Miranda, but Shepard moved in her way, holding up a hand.

"She's right, Jack." Shepard glanced over her shoulder at Miranda. "She could've found a more considerate way to put it …" She looked back at Jack when Miranda huffed, rolling her eyes. "... but she's right. I don't like it any more than you do, but we need to stay focused. There could still be collectors left alive in this place."

As if summoned by her words, Grunt turned toward the other side of the docks and said, "There's more on the way now."

"Fantastic," Shepard said, lacing the word with every ounce of sarcasm she could muster and turned, readying the collector assault rifle. A few seconds later, she heard the fluttering beat of wings in the distance.

The collectors arrived in droves, Harbinger seeming to throw everything into the fight. So Shepard did, too. She tore through the collectors, tapping back into the hidden wellspring of strength and biotic energy she didn't possess on her own. Her team—her friends, family even—fought with just as much focus and rage.

"Shepard …." James' voice broke through her comms.

Ducking into cover, she tapped her mic, keeping the line open while she fired on the nearest collector. "James? What's the Normandy's status? Are we clear to set the charges?"

"Commander, I …."

"Vega! Spit it out!" She may have snapped a little, but she was under fire and didn't really have time for whatever the lieutenant was stumbling over trying to tell her.

"Shepard …" Garrus' voice replaced James', and she sucked in a relieved breath. "The other ships are gone back through the relay, you're clear to set the charges."

"What's going on?" she asked between shots. "Why couldn't I get EDI or Joker on the comm?"

"I … I've taken care of it for the time being." Something about the tone of his voice sounded off, choked, like he fought to suppress emotions he didn't want her to hear. "Your link to the ship has been reestablished, just set the charges and get back here in one piece."

Pushing her back against the wall, she brought her hand to her helmet, as if she could block out the sounds of battle. "Garrus, what happened?"

He cleared his throat and took a breath deep enough for her to hear, still, there was a slight tremor to his voice when he said, "Dawn, please … just set the charges and get back to the ship."

Something was wrong. Very, very wrong. She didn't have time to fight off the rest of the collectors. They needed to get the hell off the base and back to the Normandy immediately.

She licked her lips, grip tightening on her gun. "Yeah." Her voice croaked, so she tried again. "Yeah, OK. I'll get them set now, and we'll retreat back to the ship."

"Thank you." Relief filled his voice, but it didn't cover the underlying dread and pain in his subvocals.

She didn't answer, instead switching back to the channel her squad used and said, "The ships are clear, cover me while I set the charges. We're getting the hell out of here."

She fell back to the nearest cooling rod, her team moving in around her. Pulling up the rod, she got to work. As soon as those charges were set, and the cooling rod slid back into place, she moved on to the next. Once all three cooling rods still remaining on the mangled dock were armed—she wanted to make damn sure there was nothing left for the Illusive Man or anyone else to retrieve—she pushed herself to her feet and lifted the collector assault rifle, walking drag to cover the others. "Alright, let's go. We've got ten minutes before this place blows."

Bolting to the nearest platform, they piled on, bullets still flying at the collectors chasing after them. Lia activated the console, and it broke away from the docks, automatically making the trip back toward the exit. A seeker swarm filled the air behind them, a dark, buzzing cloud, but the synthetic hybrids ignored Shepard and her squad completely. Still, it didn't stop Shepard from throwing a Singularity into their midst, forcing the small, mechanical bodies into the gravitic pull of the miniature mass effect field, crushing many of them instantly. Thane threw a Warp at the center, detonating the Singularity with a flash, tearing apart the remaining seekers.

The platform docked, and they didn't waste any time rushing to the next. Shepard silently thanked James—or more likely, Legion—who thought to send the platform back once they reached the other side. As the platform disengaged, the collectors caught up with them, settling down onto the dock. She expected them to continue their assault, firing on her and the others, but instead they all stopped, falling perfectly still. Black, lifeless eyes watched her as she moved further and further away. And then, in what she could only describe as a fit of rage, Harbinger took control of every collector standing on the dock, lifting them into the air as they started to glow with the telltale inner magma … and then they all exploded into clouds of ash.

"Goddess," Samara said so softly Shepard barely heard.

A moment later, and almost as quiet, Lia said, "Keelah."

" _Well shit, that's a first."_

As soon as they docked again, Shepard ran like hell, making her way to the central chamber door. Scions, groaning and lumbering, came into view. A few seconds later, the passage filled with husks and abominations as well. As if that wasn't enough, Shepard saw the shadows of two praetorians looming overhead beyond the door.

"Fuck!" she yelled, her voice echoing off the walls. "Just keep moving, don't let them pin you down." Switching to her grenade launcher, she took point, running into the next room.

She focused on keeping the praetorians distracted, giving the others the chance to get past. Grunt cleared a path through the husks and abominations, throwing himself against them and slamming his shotgun into their skulls as he passed, firing off shots at those that didn't stay down the first time. A praetorian's beam swept towards her, forcing her to dodge, jumping to the side and rolling behind cover, separating her from her team.

Despite having told them to keep moving and not get pinned down, Thane and Grunt returned to her side. Bellowing, Grunt pumped shot after shot into the praetorian, tearing down it's barrier. She popped out of cover, firing off three grenades, breaking through the praetorian's armor. The praetorian started pulling energy in around itself, white-blue flames licking over its carapace.

"Run!" Shepard bolted from cover, Thane hot on her heels, and she slapped Grunt's shoulder as she passed him. "Now! Run, go!"

The praetorian slammed down to the ground, shaking the floor beneath her feet, but they'd made it far enough away to avoid being knocked back. Counting down the seconds in her head until the praetorian's eye-lasers would rip through her back, she lead Thane and Grunt back to cover. When she glanced over the wall, she saw both praetorians moving in on their location.

"Shit," she popped out of cover, taking the opportunity to fire off more grenades before the lasers cut a swath straight for her.

Shots fired from the other side of the room drew Shepard's attention, and she realized the rest of her team moved back into the thick of things, taking up position behind cover and firing on the second praetorian and ground troops. A blast went off, knocking the praetorian back, and Miranda smiled, clapping Lia on the back before using a Slam to throw a collector up into the air.

Grunt switched to his assault rifle, whittling down the closest praetorian's barrier the rest of the way, and Shepard fired the last of her grenades. The praetorian pulled energy in around itself before slamming into the ground, knocking Shepard and Thane back out of cover. She dove back against the wall and switched to the assault rifle. Grunt and Thane were already firing on the flying monstrosity, its collection of husk heads moaning from within its mouth, when Shepard took aim. Barriers down once more, it only took a second to take the praetorian down.

Rushing for cover closer to the second praetorian, Shepard glanced at her omni-tool, counting down the time they had left to get clear of the blast zone, and brought her hand to her mic. "Joker, we're coming in hot, meet us at the rendezvous and get ready to hightail it out of here."

"We are on our way, Shepard," EDI responded. "We will arrive at the pick up location in two minutes."

"Thanks, EDI." Shepard fired on the praetorian, yelling over the sounds of biotics and gunfire to get her crew's attention. "Fallback, keep moving!"

Holding down the trigger, she continued her barrage, drawing the praetorian's attention to her while the others started running. The assault rifle clicked, the clip empty. "Fuck." She threw the gun aside and drew her pistol, checking the Carnifex's clip as she began her retreat.

Grunt stayed at her side, Thane just behind her, as they moved backwards towards the exit. When the praetorian's attacks got too close, they scattered, rolling and dodging out of the way before regrouping. Shepard glanced over her shoulder, finding the rest of her squad waiting in the entryway, firing on collectors, scions, and husks closing in on Shepard's position. Close enough to risk it, she turned and ran, counting on them to keep her safe. As soon as everyone passed through the doors, Jacob got them closed and Mordin scrambled the lock.

She glanced at her omni-tool again, one and a half minutes. Dear Gods. "Come on!" She started running, each slap of her boots against the ground seeming to come hours apart. Her heart thundered against her sternum so hard, she thought it might actually burst free from her chest.

Collectors and husks, though far fewer than before, attacked them, dropping down behind cover or crawling up over the edges to harry their progress. The Normandy rose up in the distance, a beautiful beacon of hope, and the airlock opened. Garrus, clothes stained with crimson blood, mandibles tight against his jaws, lowered his assault rifle and fired on the enemies in pursuit. James stood at the other side, a grim look on his face as he lobbed a frag grenade, shotgun in hand.

Shepard pushed herself, moving to the side as she waved the others on, firing at the collectors behind her squad as they threw themselves into the ship's airlock. As soon as everyone else was clear, she holstered her pistol as she started running. Jumping, she was weightless for a moment as she soared through the air before crashing back down against the edge of the airlock, tumbling into the Normandy.

The airlock closed before she could pull herself back to her feet, and she let out a heavy sigh. "EDI, get us the hell out of here!"

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said, a hint of … was that sadness in her voice?

Shepard pulled herself to her feet and turned, locking in on the blood smearing Garrus' clothes. He reached for her, and her gaze travelled up to his face. His mandibles trembled, and there was something in his eyes ….

"No," she said, ice running through her veins. She shook her head, horror creeping in along the edges of her mind. "No. What happened?"

The confused and frightened murmurs coming from those behind her tugged at her consciousness. She turned away from Garrus and rushed into the area stretching between the cockpit and the CIC. Cerberus crew stood at their stations, frozen in place, the gold and black swirls of seeker venom energy surrounding them. Others, fallen to the ground, lifeless in puddles of their own blood.

She stopped dead in her tracks, as paralyzed as if a seeker had gotten her, too. "How …." Her brain stalled, unable to make the words come out of her mouth, but a moment later she tried again. "How the hell did this happen?"

Some of her crew turned to look at her with wide eyes, others looked on, their gazes locked on the cockpit. She started to turn, searching out Joker even as some distant and utterly absurd part of her mind told her he wouldn't be there. Garrus stepped in front of her, blocking her view.

"No." Shepard shook her head as pieces started to fall together in her mind. "No, no, no!" The last one came out almost a scream as she tried to move past Garrus, only to have Thane's hands wrap around her wrists, trying to tug her back. She wrenched her arms free, slapping away his hands and shoved Garrus aside.

Blood.

So much blood. Splashed over the pilot's chair, splattered over the controls and windows, puddled on the floor. Joker's SR-2 hat lay near the largest puddle, somehow still pristine in the middle of the macabre. A dead collector lay a few feet away, tucked back behind the copilot's chair. Something inside of Shepard cracked, voices of the crazed breaking through, their wails of torment shattering the last of her sanity into a million, tiny pieces. Her knees buckled, a scream ripping its way through her throat. Garrus was there again, strong arms wrapping around her and pulling her into his chest, but even with her face buried against him, she couldn't stop seeing the blood.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm, so, so sorry. Please don't hate me.**


	83. Epilogue: Where Things Made Sense

**Epilogue: Where Things Made Sense**

Shepard lay on one of the beds in the med bay, her back turned to the sheet covered corpse of one of her best friends. Knees drawn up to her chest, she stared at the med bay door, hushed whispers coming from back by the AI core.

"How did a collector even get aboard the Normandy?" Miranda asked.

Garrus chuffed, the sound filled with bitterness. "We _brought_ it aboard. It's the collector from the tank in Mordin's lab."

"Dios … how'd it get out?" James' voice sounded the closest.

"One of the Cerberus crew … I don't know his name. I think he must've been indoctrinated." Garrus' soft footsteps paced the floor, his voice becoming more heavily flanged with anger. "I watched the security feed. He left his station and went to the armory, using EDI's access node to block her out somehow. He grabbed an assault rifle from Jacob's table and made his way to the tech labs where he walked right up to the collector's tank and deactivated the stasis." Something slammed against metal followed by a moment of silence before he finally continued, "Held just the gun out to the collector when he opened the damn door. The collector let the seeker out, and a few minutes later it walked right through the CIC, picking off those the seeker didn't get to. I was in the battery, I didn't have a clue what was going on until Joker called me on the intercom. I rushed up there … but I was too late."

"I talked to Kelly. She said even though the seeker paralyzed her, she saw the whole thing. Joker tried to fight back, but there was just nothing he could do to defend himself," Tali said, her voice heavy and thick, as if she'd been crying.

"I've never seen Shepard so devastated. Losing so many to the collectors, and Zaeed dying only to come back and find ..." Dr. Chakwas started sobbing. "She and Joker were really close … I'd never seen him let anyone in the way he did with her … I don't …." Her voice shifted to nothing more than a high-pitched whine when she said, "I'm not sure she's going to pull out of this."

* * *

Darkness surrounded her, rage and grief washing over and rolling through her, sweeping her out to sea. Shepards buffeted her, throwing her around as fists and feet, biotics and bullets slammed into her. Somewhere nearby, others fought to defend her.

"Defend yourself, damn it!" Jane yelled.

Shepard didn't see any point. She fucked everything up. She didn't save enough of them, and they wouldn't have even been there if not for her. Zaeed was dead. Joker … Joker was dead, and it was her fault.

Raphael's fist slammed into her jaw, shattering the bone with an audible crack. Pain lanced through her face and down her neck, knocking her to the ground. She stayed there, tears pouring from her eyes. Amelia's steel-toed boot connected with her ribs, tearing the air from her non-existent lungs.

* * *

The bed shifted. The familiar weight and warmth of Garrus surrounded her, and he wrapped an arm over her waist. He hummed softly, nuzzling against the back of her head.

"I'm sorry, Dawn," he whispered, voice cracking.

Someone had placed Joker's hat on the chair next to her bed.

* * *

John carried her, slung over his shoulder while he fired into the darkness. Her wounds healed, not a trace of the beating the others gave her remained. Just like every other time. So much blood. Joker. Oh gods, Joker. He can't be dead. Joker never dies. It's not real. Can't be happening.

"It happened, ma'am." John shifted, putting her down on her feet, holding her face to make her meet his gaze. "It happened, and it hurts, but we have to move on."

* * *

"Commander?" Dr. Chakwas voice cut through the haze. "Shepard, you need to eat something."

* * *

Bullets ripped through her abdomen, setting her clothes on fire. Jane grabbed her, dragging her down behind a wall that wasn't there a second ago, and Jane beat at the flames consuming Shepard. Somewhere in the distance, a banshee screamed.

"No, that was Abigail." Jane forced a pistol into Shepard's hand, wrapping her fingers around the grip. "Now fight back."

* * *

"... can't take control, the implant won't allow her to. For all intents and purposes, Shepard _is_ still in control. Unless she chooses to relinquish control to Jane, or is knocked unconscious, Jane won't be able to do anything," Miranda's voice dragged Shepard back to the world around her, even though she didn't want to be awake.

Garrus hummed, the sound distressed, and Shepard knew it should bother her, should get a rise out of her, but it just didn't. She just wanted them to stop talking and let her sleep.

"So … she's just stuck like this?" He growled, pacing into her line of sight. "She's awake." He moved closer, crouching down in front of her, bringing himself to eye level. Running his fingers through her hair, his mandibles fluttered, blue eyes desperate as they searched hers. "Dawn, can you hear me?"

"There is nothing to indicate Shepard has lost her ability to hear, Garrus," EDI said, her tone consoling.

His mandibles flared and he took Shepard's hand in his, fingers gingerly squeezing her hand, and she caught sight of an IV line trailing away from her arm. "We need to make arrangements for … for Joker. I thought you might want to call Anderson yourself. Or I can do it for you, if you want, whatever you need, Dawn. Whatever you need."

* * *

Shepard's arm lifted and her finger pulled the trigger. It wasn't her, she knew that, not even her own pseudo-body acting on reflex, but Ruby seeping back through her; absorbed but not dead, not gone, not really. Not like Joker.

She could've stopped Ruby if she wanted to, but why bother?

* * *

Thane sat next to her bed, hands clasped in front of him. Head bowed, his lips moved with the soft whisper of a prayer. After a moment, he opened his eyes, catching her gaze and offered her a gentle smile. He leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees. "Siha, I'm sorry you are hurting. I wish I could take this pain away from you." He reached out, wiping a tear from her face. "I understand you're not ready to speak, but Dr. Chakwas informed me it might be beneficial for you if we continue to talk to you. Garrus has called Councilor Anderson, I believe he intends to meet the Normandy on Illium. I'm not sure why Miranda chose Illium, however. I'm told Joker will be returned to his family and given an Alliance burial; he will be honored."

The sound of the door sliding open seemed to draw Thane's attention for a moment. "Ah, Jack. Good timing, she's awake." Thane stood, waving his hand at the chair, and a moment later Jack sat down.

Jack glanced up at Thane but didn't say anything to him as he stepped away. Turning her attention to Shepard, she narrowed her eyes, brow furrowing. "Shit," she whispered. "I don't know what I'm supposed to say here, Alliance." Threading her fingers together, she rested her elbows on her knees and seemed to examine the tattoos on her arms for a second. "You've got to fucking fight this shit. You're supposed to be leading us into war. We need you, goddamnit." Shaking her head, she rubbed a palm over her nearly-bare scalp. "Garrus is all twisted up, blaming himself. Says he should've been in the CIC in case you needed him, then Joker wouldn't be dead. I tried telling him you wouldn't want him to blame himself, told him all the shit you told me … but I suck at the pep talk crap. So just … get the fuck up and go yell at him or something."

* * *

Her palm slammed against Juan's chest, and immediately she felt the bright spark within him. A second later, something inside of her pulled, jerking the spark right out of Juan and sucking it into her.

And if felt good.

Despite everything else, it felt good.

* * *

"Commander?" Samara's soft voice pulled at Shepard, and the asari smiled when Shepard opened her eyes. "I am sorry, but I must do this now; we have arrived at Illium. I must leave and go to my daughters." She pushed the chair aside, kneeling down next to Shepard. "By the Code, I have fulfilled my service to you, Shepard. Your choices are no longer my choices, your morals are no longer my morals. Your wishes are no longer my code." Biotic energy flared around the Justicar, so bright it hurt Shepard's eyes.

Samara stood, settling a hand on Shepard's shoulder. "I wish you well, Shepard. When you recover, contact me, I will see what I can do to aid you in the oncoming war." Samara pulled her hand back and dipped her head before turning and leaving.

* * *

Ricky. Janell. Avery. Mia. Michael. James. Sofia. Chloe. Layla. They were hers now.

* * *

Dr. Chakwas adjusted the bed, forcing Shepard into a sitting position. Stiff muscles ached in protest, but Shepard didn't care.

Garrus held her hand in one of his, bare fingers of his other hand stroked her knuckles. "Anderson is here. He's taking care of … the transfer, but he said he wanted to come see you when he's done."

* * *

Shepard slapped her hand against Nora's chest, yanking out the other woman's spark. If they insisted on throwing themselves at her, she'd make them hers. Letting go, she watched as Nora's body fell to the ground and disappeared.

She turned, catching Camila's pleading thoughts as the woman reached out. She wanted what only Shepard could offer, an end, or perhaps a new beginning. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. Shepard settled her palm between Camila's breasts, searching out the spark and pulled.

Hungry for more, she felt around her for the next one.

* * *

"... even understand what we're saying?" Anderson asked.

"She appears to be slipping in and out of awareness while awake. Scans indicate she's still able to hear what's being said, but whether or not it's truly registering with her …." Dr. Chakwas lifted a shoulder and shook her head. "I'm afraid I can't say."

Anderson grunted, tucking his hands behind his back and moving closer to them. "Shepard … I'm having you transferred to a facility on the Citadel for observation. Dr. Chakwas will be going with you. The Council's dropped all charges against you, they finally realized how foolish they were being. I considered having you taken to Earth, but I think it'll be easier for your friends to visit if you're on the Citadel, and Dr. Chakwas tells me it's important you not be isolated from the people you know."

He paused, giving them a wry smile. "And I admit I'd like to be able to see you as well. I don't get off the Citadel much these days." Glancing down at his feet for a moment, he took a deep breath. "The Dissension is still an issue, though. So, I'm having Lieutenant Vega reassigned as the head of your personal guard while you're there. I thought you'd like that. It'll be up to him to choose other guards, and determine who is or isn't allowed in to see you."

Shepard closed their eyes. They didn't want to hear anymore. They wanted to go back to the darkness where things made sense.

* * *

 **A/N: Stay tuned for Part 3, Reconfiguration.**


	84. Reconfiguration Prologue: Jane

**A/N: As you read through Reconfiguration, you'll notice a few changes, such as changing Idolo to Idola, as it should've been from the beginning. I had continued on with Idolo after realizing my mistake for consistency in Resurrection.**

 **Jane**

Exhausted, Jane sat next to John, knees bent and ankles crossed. Together, they listened to Dawn, her thoughts snarly and filled with far too many emotions to keep track of. But at least she started feeling _something_ again. She finally stopped vacuuming up every Shepard within reach, leaving the darkness a couple hundred voices short, but neither Jane nor John wanted to risk getting any closer to her. It seemed like most of the other Shepards had the same idea, pulling back, leaving Dawn in a sphere of seclusion.

"So, what do we do now?" Jane asked, leaning over until her shoulder just barely brushed against John's, letting her see him.

He took a deep breath and shook his head. "Not a clue."

"I guess we just wait her out." She raised a questioning eyebrow. "Maybe try talking to her again in a little while?"

"I guess," he said with a shrug. "Hopefully drawing her attention back to us won't just be ringing the dinner bell."

Dawn let out a loud, maniacal laugh, and it made Jane jump. John chuckled, so she slapped his arm.

"What the hell is she laughing at?" Jane shifted a little, readying herself to move if Dawn went on another feeding frenzy.

"I don't know." He shrugged. "I don't think she even knows. Why don't you go ask her?"

Jane rolled her eyes and scoffed, making him grin. "Hell no."

She'd never tell John—not out loud at least, though she supposed he knew it all the same—but she guessed he really wasn't all that bad. And, he'd been right before, about protecting Dawn when Jane wasn't altogether sane herself. But watching Dawn crumble like that … they were both more than a little scared.

If Dawn didn't pull herself back together, what would it mean for the war? Hell, what would it mean for them? Dawn was slipping in and out of The Shepards' Private Hell Freakshow like it was nothing. One foot in, one foot out. Jane didn't think she was even trying, it was just _happening_. During those times Dawn was out there, Jane got glimpses of what was going on around them in the physical world, but when she was inside … the outside world might as well not exist at all. The reapers could touchdown right in front of them, and they'd never know. Jane tried a couple of times to push past the restraints of Miranda's implant, but it was useless. She wasn't getting out unless Dawn wanted her out.

"What was it Anderson called the facility he brought us to?" John asked, pulling Jane away from her thoughts.

"The Pearson Sisters' Sanctuary," Jane said, wondering if John only asked because the silence was too much for him.

She liked it, thought it was nice, the best thing about the whole mess. It wouldn't last much longer, though. With Dawn no longer on the hunt, the other Shepards were growing complacent, restless even. Jane felt them starting to stir.

"How long do you think we've been here?"

Jane shrugged. "Couple of days?"

"How long do you think they'll keep us?"

She turned her head to look at him, taking in his furrowed brow. "Until she either shapes up and starts acting right, or the reapers show up."

He licked his lips, and his own personal brand of crazy started showing through his eyes. "What if she doesn't, though, and they just leave us in here while the reapers destroy everything?"

Jane let out a heavy sigh. Dawn seriously needed to get her shit together. There was no way they were riding out the Harvest sitting on their asses doing nothing. Not after they'd come so far.

"Ídola?" James' voice seeped in around the edges, which could only mean Dawn was headed back out, or at least mostly out.

"Jane!" John grabbed her arm and shook her, earning him a scowl. "What happens if we're still on the Citadel when the reapers move it to Earth? You saw it, you know what happens to anyone alive when they take the Citadel."

"Fuck, John!" She shoved his hands off of her. "I don't know, okay? I don't have all the answers, I'm sorry. I guess it means we die."

"We die," Jaxon echoed.

"Fantastic, see what you did?" Jane sighed again, shaking her head. "You got them all riled up again."

"Hey, Ídola," James said again, and Dawn slipped away, the outside world opening back up to them once more. He smiled at her, setting a tray down on the table in front of her. "So, Dr. Chakwas said I have an hour to try to convince you to eat on your own, or she's going to have to force feed you again." He sat down on the couch next to her and uncovered a plate holding a sandwich and a fruit cup. He lifted the corner of the top piece of bread. "I made it myself, it's got all kinds of good stuff on it. We're talking ham, turkey—okay, so maybe it's not _real_ ham or turkey, but it's got cheese, lettuce, tomato, the works." Meeting her gaze again, he lifted his eyebrows, eyes filling with hope. "What do you say? For me?"

"If we die in the war, before we get to use the Crucible, will we stay dead?" Natalie asked, a wave of longing rolling off of her.

Jane turned her attention to James, resolute in her attempt to ignore the rising tide of activity around her. Dawn turned her head, actually, truly, all on her own, turned her head and looked at James. The motion wasn't lost on him, lips parting as his eyes widened. It was the first autonomous movement she'd made since she collapsed against Garrus after seeing the blood in the cockpit.

Closing his mouth, he swallowed, searching her gaze. "Sounds good, right?"

Dawn lifted her hand, bringing her fingers to James' cheek and narrowed her gaze. Dragging her fingers down the stubble on his face, her thoughts were plain as day to Jane, which was saying a lot. Since her breakdown, Dawn's thoughts became incoherent and muddled, mostly just raw emotion, and then, after a few hours, not even that. She stopped speaking entirely, not even using direct thoughts to communicate with Jane. Just then, she was trying to decide if James was real.

Jane laughed when James' face took on a reddish hue. "What do you know, James? It's not so hard to make you blush afterall."

Recovering from his apparent shock, James reached up, tugging her hand away from his face and moved it to the sandwich. "Sorry, Commander, I'm not on the menu."

Dawn turned her head, gaze trailing down the length of her arm before it landed on the plate. Slowly, hesitantly, almost as if she thought the thing might attack her, she wrapped her hands around the bread and picked it up, lifting the sandwich to her mouth. Jane held her breath, tasting the explosion of flavors when Dawn took a bite. Good, that was really, really good. Maybe there was a chance she'd pull it together after all. Chewing and swallowing, she took another bite and then looked at James again.

He grinned from ear to ear before leaning against the side of the couch to watch her eat. "Hey, you eat all of that, I'll get you dessert."

"You think she's going to be okay?" John asked, scooting back closer to Jane, pushing his arm up against hers.

A few months ago, she would've decked him for touching her after the way he grabbed her, but just then, she needed the contact as much as he did, and yeah, maybe she'd grown to like his company. She glanced at John before turning her attention back to James. "I hope so."

James leaned forward, picking up a bottle of blue Tupari and opened the cap, handing it to Dawn. She took the bottle from him and looked at it for a second, confusion around the edges of her thoughts before she took an experimental sip, the berry flavor washing over her taste buds. Jane knew what she experienced was only an echo of what it tasted like for Dawn, but somehow, she seemed to enjoy it far more.

"Is she going to kiss James?" Aurora asked, moving closer to Jane.

" _Why_ would she kiss James?" Jane arched an eyebrow.

"I kissed James." Lusty thoughts rolled off Aurora.

"No," Jane said, dragging the word out, "you intentionally got James shitfaced and took advantage of him, knowing he'd already made it clear he didn't want to cross that boundary. People with a conscious call that rape."

"Maybe if the roles were reversed." John shifted around, extending his legs out in front of him, his elbow brushing against Jane again in the process. "I think James was just using the alcohol as an excuse to do what he really wanted. He wasn't too drunk to get it up, he knew what he was doing."

"Bullshit," Jane said with a scoff, "you saw the look on his face the next morning. He asked her not to talk about it again. It wouldn't have happened if he was sober. Fuck your double standards, it was rape."

"That's not really fair. You know I didn't have any malicious intent towards him. He sent a lot of mixed signals, and when I asked him what it'd take, he's the one who mentioned drinking more." An odd mix of regret and longing washed over Aurora. "What was I supposed to think? Besides, we were cool after, there weren't any issues on the ship or anything."

Jane rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm not having this argument again."

"I really liked him, wanted something more with him," Aurora said, a touch of sadness to her tone.

Jane let the statement sit, she knew that was the truth at least. Turning her attention back to Dawn, she tried to focus in on the other woman's thoughts. The more she strained to hear, though, the less any of it made sense.

"I'm going back," she said, pushing to her feet.

"Why?" John stood up too, reaching out to rest his fingers on Jane's elbow, allowing them to see one another. "What's the point in being The Veil when she's just going to come right back in here. It's not like you need to play watchdog, none of us can get out now but her."

"I know, but it's easier to hear her from there." She patted John's arm and smirked. "Don't worry, I'll be back."

He grunted. "Good, you need to spend time in the trenches. Remember you're a part of this mess."

She arched an eyebrow, dropping her weight to one hip and crossing her arms. "You really think I could ever forget?"

"Sometimes, I'm not so sure." Dropping his hand, he disappeared from sight. "Just make sure you come back when she does. I hate to admit it, but if anyone in here can get through to her, it's you."

"Oh, I don't know about that. I think she's got a soft spot for you, too." Jane closed her eyes, it wasn't really necessary, but it kind of helped, and she let herself slip back to that in between place.

Instantly, Dawn's thoughts sounded louder and more clear, but what Jane heard shook her to the core. It wasn't just Dawn, hell, it was barely Dawn at all. It was almost as bad as being in the mix when all the other Shepards had their crazy dials turned to stark-mad-raving-lunatic. Except the familiar flavor of the hundreds of Shepards she heard in Dawn's thoughts just sounded confused and in awe.

Jane didn't understand. Yeah, it became obvious that the others continued to exist on some level inside of Dawn once she did whatever the hell she did, but Jane never heard any of them once Dawn drained them. Why the hell did that change? Because Dawn was dealing with some psychological trauma? Or was it because she'd taken in so many more?

The thing that got under Jane's skin, though, making warning sirens blare in her head, was the lack of separation. Dawn wasn't thinking in terms of 'I' or 'me' but 'we' and 'us'. Sure, she'd been starting to slip into that already, but it was like she just took the concept of being an individual and threw it right out the window. Jane was barely able to feel out the edges defining Dawn, there was so much bleedthrough between all of them.

Dawn took a couple more bites of the sandwich and then drained the Tupari, handing the empty bottle back to James. He took it from her, the grin still on his face, and put the cap back on.

Setting the empty bottle on the table, he chuckled. "Damn, Ídola. You must've been thirsty. But hey, now I know you like them so much, I'll stock up on them for you."

Dawn didn't respond, simply turned her attention back to the sandwich. James leaned in toward the coffee table, reaching past her to pick up a remote. He sat back, and a moment later the vidscreen activated. Dawn's gaze flicked toward the new sights and sounds before trailing back toward her sandwich but stopped midway, her gaze locking on Joker's hat sitting on a shelf. And just like that, Dawn was back inside, the outside world gone in a snap.

Jane let herself slip out of The Veil. Dawn's sobs seemed to echo, coming at her from all sides, the only sound to be heard. The other Shepards held their breath, pushing back away from Dawn's presence, though within a few seconds, some of them started to cry, too.

"Shit," Jane whispered, taking a hesitant step closer. "Dawn? I'm … I'm going to come sit with you, okay? Don't go all vampire on me, alright?" She waited a few seconds, trying to pick out the feel of Dawn's response to her words—if she even really heard Jane—but nothing seemed to change. Taking each step with caution, she felt her consciousness brush up against Dawn's and recoiled, grief flooding her, nearly taking her to her knees. Sucking in a deep breath, she pushed forward, reaching out to get a feel of where Dawn imagined herself to be, and then she imagined herself to be there, too. Sitting down, she lifted a cautious hand and settled it down on Dawn's shoulder. Dawn didn't even seem to notice.


	85. Garrus

**Garrus**

Garrus fluttered his mandibles, glancing between the two Alliance guards positioned outside of the door leading to Dawn's suite. Neither of them met his gaze, he guessed they didn't care whether or not he was there, since he'd already been cleared by the front desk. He almost expected to be given shit, seeing as Anderson placed James in charge of who got to see Dawn. Holding his authority over Garrus' head would've been right up James' alley, as she'd say.

She'd already been in the hospital for a week—and yeah, they could call it whatever they wanted, but The Pearson Sisters' Sanctuary was a hospital for the mentally unstable—and it was the first time he'd worked up the nerve to go see her. He hated Anderson committed her there, hated the idea of anyone knowing she was there. He didn't want anyone to think of her as weak or broken … even if it did seem to be the case. She was the strongest, bravest person he'd ever known. Spirits knew he wouldn't hold up as well as she did with some other version of himself rattling away inside of his head.

Die for the cause. It's what every turian learned, hell, they made it their anthem. He guessed that made her a better turian than he ever was; she did die for the cause, willingly, and he knew if push came to shove, she'd do it again. He didn't think he could, not the way she did, not knowing it waited just around the corner and then marching straight for it, determined to make sure it happened. And then she came back, like the phoenix being reborn from the ashes she had tattooed on her back.

Then everything started going to shit. He'd been watching the fissures in her mind and soul grow for months, even as the cracks in her flesh healed. He tried to help her hold the pieces together, tried to keep her safe, even when it just led to them fighting and her feeling like she needed to hide things from him. He dropped the ball, though, as she'd say, not being where she needed him to be when she needed him there the most. Joker paid the cost, and it shattered her heart.

 _He_ shattered her heart. He should've anticipated an attack on the ship, should've been ready to defend the pilot—even if the pilot didn't happen to be someone Dawn thought of as a brother. They were lucky between EDI and what remained of the Cerberus crew that they were able to get the _Normandy_ away from the collector base before the whole thing blew up. They all nearly died on that base because he was more concerned with making sure the guns were perfectly calibrated than keeping the rest of the ship secure. Because he felt sore about being left behind.

One of the soldiers guarding her door shifted and cleared his throat, reminding Garrus that he still stood outside, staring at the door instead of knocking. He flicked his mandibles and knocked on the door before crossing his arms to wait. Taking a deep breath, steeling himself to see her again, he prayed to whoever or whatever might be listening in that she'd be better. He'd walk through the door, and she'd give him the smile she only used with him. She'd wrap her arms around his neck and push up on her toes to kiss him. Dr. Chakwas said she'd made some improvements but warned him not to get his hopes up. He couldn't help it, though.

A moment later, the door opened, James' imposing form blocking the entrance. Smiling, he stepped out of the way. "Hey, Scars." He turned, raising his voice and said, "Ídola? You with me? Garrus is here to see you."

Garrus followed James into the suite, past a partitioning wall. He sucked in a slow breath, trying to ease the ache in his chest when he saw her sitting on the couch, staring at Joker's hat resting on her lap. She looked so lost.

"Ídola?" James said again, picking up a remote from the table and turning off the vidscreen.

Dawn turned her head to look at James, and Garrus flared his mandibles. James pointed at him, and her head shifted again, her gaze meeting his. The utter look of apathy in her eyes might as well have been a clip emptied straight into his heart. Finally, he thought he understood how much it hurt her the day he rejected her on Omega. She turned her attention back to the hat, leaving Garrus completely deflated. He didn't know what he really expected … supposed he thought she'd look at least a little happy to see him, but she just didn't seem to care.

James winced, putting a hand on Garrus' shoulder. "It's not personal, mi amigo. She only seems to respond to me because I bring her food. Oh!" Stepping away for a moment, he went into the kitchen area and returned with a bottle of red Tupari, handing it to Garrus. "Here, try this. The red ones seem to be her favorite today."

Garrus turned the bottle over in his hand, mandibles flared and looked at James. "Today?"

"Yeah, it seems to change." James shrugged. "Just open it and hand it to her." He jerked his head toward the door. "I'm going to take a walk, check in with Anderson. Just uh, call me before you head out."

Garrus nodded, turning his attention back to the bottle in his hand. James seriously wanted him to—what?—bribe Dawn to pay attention to him with Tupari? She wasn't a child. Spirits, it was hard enough to see her like that without making everything feel even more desperate. He glanced up when the door closed behind James and watched her for a moment, scenting the air. She smelled like the woman he loved, but he wasn't entirely sure it was a good thing just then.

Crossing the floor, he sat the bottle down on the table. "Hello, Dawn." Flicking his mandibles, he smiled at her when she looked at him again. "Hmmm. I thought I might sit with you for a little while, if that's alright with you?"

Her gaze left his, moving down to the bottle on the table and stayed there. Garrus chuffed and she looked up at him again. His visor flashed, picking up on the brief flutter of her heart, and for just a second, he thought he saw something familiar and hungry in her eyes, but just as quickly, it disappeared. Her gaze traveled back to the Tupari. He sighed, picking the bottle back up and twisted off the cap, holding it out to her. Taking the bottle, her fingers brushed over his gloved hand, and a keen rose up in his throat. He cut it off, tamping down the longing and hurt.

While she drank, he stepped back and took off his light armor. He still couldn't handle his heavy armor, but he damn sure wasn't going to walk around the Citadel wearing nothing. He hated himself for being worn out just from making the trip from the apartment he rented two blocks away to The Pearson Sisters' Sanctuary. He hated himself even more for heaving a sigh of relief as he slipped the extra weight off his shoulders.

After stacking the pieces on the chair, as an afterthought, he pulled off his gloves, too, tossing them down on the table. When he glanced up again, Dawn watched him, indifferent. She took another drink of Tupari and looked back down at Joker's hat. Garrus sat down on the couch, leaving a couple of feet between them, and studied the hat, too. He didn't notice it the last time he looked at it, but there was a fine spray of blood staining the white across the bill. He doubted her eyes would even be able to see it. She ran her fingers over the SR-2, gentle, almost reverent.

The briney scent of her tears brought his gaze back to her face. She just let them fall, not bothering to wipe them away or hide her face the way she often did, like she didn't even realize she was crying. He hummed without really meaning to, stopping himself just before reaching out to pull her into his arms. She looked at him, holding his gaze, and for a moment he saw confusion in her eyes.

After a long moment of silence, he flared his mandibles, searching for something to say. "So, I talked to Miranda today, she's still chasing after the Illusive Man." He tapped a bared talon against the table. "Jack decided to stay on the _Normandy_ , she intends to make good on your promise to be there when the Illusive Man dies, even if you aren't leading the mission." He chuffed, giving his head a little shake. "I'll be surprised if those two make it through without tearing up the bulkheads in a biotic … what'd you call it? Pissing contest?" He picked up the Tupari cap and turned it over in his fingers, running a talon over the ridges. "Hmmm. I guess I should stop asking questions …."

He let the silence linger for awhile, and eventually she turned her attention back to the hat and her sports drink. He studied the bottle cap. "Dawn, I'm … I'm so sorry about Joker. Zaeed and the others, too, of course. But I know Joker meant a lot to you." He swallowed, shaking his head. "I swear I—"

She brought a hand to his face, her fingertips brushing along his mandible. A soft, longing keen tore through his throat, and he closed his eyes, leaning into the touch. Spirits he missed her. Every time it seemed like things were settling into a comfortable rhythm for them, something happened to tear her away again. He probably spent more time worrying about her and trying to hang on to the good moments than anything else in his life.

She moved her hand, tracing over his colony markings, fingers sweeping over his face, just below his eye before arching over the bridge of his nose and back down the other side. "Garrus," she said, her voice so soft the word whisper didn't seem adequate.

Heart slamming against his ribs with hope, he brought his hand to hers, pressing her palm against the curve of his face and opened his eyes. "Dawn …." He purred, turning his head to press his mouth plates to the inside of her wrist.

If he thought she'd smile, maybe lean into him, he'd be wrong. She watched him with the same look of indifference she had before, but she didn't pull away from him either. Maybe it was just his imagination; maybe she didn't really say his name at all. He chided himself, Dr. Chakwas told him not to get his hopes up, and there he sat, getting his hopes up. He flicked his mandibles in chagrin and squeezed her fingers before letting them go. Her hand slipped away from his face, and her gaze went back to the hat.

He blew out a heavy breath and just sat there for a minute, watching her while his heart settled into a steady pace once more. "Hmmm. So, I don't know if he's come to see you yet, but Thane is staying on the Citadel for now, too. Grunt said he's going to have Miranda take him to Tuchanka once he kills your enemy. Mordin went back to Sur'Kesh to work on the genophage cure. Samara left while we were on Illium." He turned on the couch to face her more squarely. "Not really sure where Kasumi is, but I bet James knows. Jacob's staying on to help Miranda deal with the Illusive Man and transition into her new role. Tali, Kal, Lia, and Legion are going to go back to Rannoch, but Tali said she wanted to make sure 'that bosh'tet, the Illusive Man, is really taken care of first.'"

Dawn looked at him again, her gaze seeming fixated on his visor. A moment later, she reached out and plucked it from his head. He chuffed, and her gaze flicked back to his for just a second. Bringing the visor up to her face, she fiddled with trying to get it situated over her own eye, the shape of her human head not very accommodating. He chuckled and helped her adjust the visor, seating it against the base of her skull. Detecting a new user, the blue, holographic viewing screen turned back on, returning the settings to default. He'd have to reset everything later, but he didn't mind.

He watched her as she looked around the room through the visor, her gaze finally settling back on him, and thought about what the visor might be telling her about him. He knew it'd tell her the basics, his distance, height, weight, points of weaknesses based on his species … it'd been so long since he bought it, he couldn't remember for sure what the defaults were anymore. After a moment, she pulled the visor off and handed it back to him, but he sat it down on top of his gloves. She didn't seem to like that too much, picking the visor up and handing it to him again.

"You want me to put it back on?" He raised his brow ridges, but she just watched him.

Chuffing, he nodded, looking down at the visor for a second before re-adjusting the brace and slipped it back into place. Once again, the screen turned on, showing him the defaults. Her heart beat strong and steady, the corner of her mouth twitched—almost a smile.

"Better?" He grinned, flicking his mandibles at her.

Her lip twitched again.

He hummed. "I do make it look good, don't I?"

She stood up, the abrupt movement surprising him, and then she carried Joker's hat over to a shelf and sat it down. Staying there, she seemed to be looking at something else on the shelf, so Garrus got up and followed, standing behind her to look over her shoulder. All of her things had been transferred from the _Normandy_ , and on the shelf, someone had put her framed pictures. Her gaze held steady on a photograph of the two of them.

He remembered that night. She'd plopped down on his lap, surprising him and making him grunt. He'd laughed, wrapping his arms around her waist and turning her a little so he could see her face. She'd grinned, opening her omni-tool, and then a few seconds later, she wrapped her arm around his neck, pressing the side of her face to his and told him to smile.

Her gaze shifted to a picture of Joker, sitting in the pilot's seat, scowling at the camera. She picked up the picture and moved it to the top shelf, next to pictures of Ashley, Kaidan, and Liara. "Joker's dead," she whispered before repeating it again, a little louder. "So is Zaeed. We don't have any pictures of Zaeed."

His thoughts went in two different directions. One part analyzed her behavior and the fact she actually spoke when the doctor said she hadn't said a single word yet. The other wanted to pull her into his arms and bury his face in her neck, cry with her and tell her again how sorry he felt. He wasn't really sure how she'd take to that much contact, though, so instead, he put his hand on her shoulder.

Brushing his thumb back and forth over the bare skin just past her collar, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I know, I'm sorry. I got there as fast as I could, I swear, it just wasn't fast enough."

She tilted her head back to look up at him. Something shifted in her eyes, and she seemed more lucid than he'd seen her since the day her world turned upside down. "It's not your fault. It's our fault."

He frowned, shaking his head. "It can't be your fault. Or Jane's. You didn't know it was going to happen."

She turned, taking half a step back to look up at him. "Our fault." Tears started to well up in her eyes, and she leaned forward, pressing her forehead to his chest.

He hesitated, mandibles fluttering helplessly, but then he caved, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in closer. She tucked her arms up between their chests and sobbed, her whole body trembling as the floodgates opened up. A low, mournful keen seeped out of him, and he tucked his head down into the curve of her neck and shoulder, letting her scent fill his lungs.

When she stopped shaking, breathing evening back out, she stayed there a moment longer before disentangling herself from his arms and went back to the couch. She sat down, wiping the tear streaks from her face and drained the bottle of Tupari. She looked completely calm, as if she wasn't just bawling her eyes out a minute before.

He watched her, scenting the air but finding only the lingering scents of her emotional anguish. "Dawn?"

She looked up at him, the apathetic, almost absent look in her eyes again, and his heart sank. He made his way back over to sit next to her and took her hand in his. Running his fingers over the faint scars crossing the back of her hand, he sighed. He didn't understand what was going on with her, why she seemed to be retreating again after finally opening up a little. She'd spent days closed off completely, but when she leaned into him … he thought … Spirits, he needed her whole. Needed her to tell him what to do, the entire galaxy remained at stake, and she was lost. And, he just _needed_ her.

"I asked Grundan Krul to see if Zaeed had any family …" he said, wanting to fill the silence, "... or anyone who should be notified of his death. He said Zaeed had a son named Bain, but there wasn't any evidence to show they had any sort of relationship. He's having trouble finding Bain, though, he signed up for something called the Andromeda Initiative and fell off the radar. Grundan Krul's looking into what the Andromeda Initiative is now, digging through the old Shadow Broker's records."

She didn't respond, not even a twitch of her lips.

"Dr. Chakwas said I've shown remarkable progress. Other than the scars, there won't be any lasting damage." He hummed and sat back against the couch, letting go of her hand and stretching his arm out over the top of the cushion. Carrying on a one-sided conversation proved more difficult than he'd realized. "The Hierarchy made several arrests of people associated with The Dissension thanks to the list you passed on to Primarch Fedorian." He tapped his talons against the soft fabric, mandibles fluttering. "Hmmm. Things are still pretty tense here on the Citadel, I received more than a few weary looks on my way over to see you. Spectre Protalus is still missing as far as the Council is concerned. Hmmm. What else? Oh, Anderson said the Alliance gave Admiral Hackett an award for his defense of Earth."

Dawn sighed, just a soft sound carrying the weight of exhaustion. He watched her profile for a moment, mandibles fluttering as he tried to decide whether he should just leave her alone. Maybe his talking wasn't helping her any, no matter what Dr. Chakwas said. It wasn't like he had much good news to share with her. Glancing at the door, mind just about made up to leave, he froze when she pulled her legs up and leaned in against his side.

He looked down, but he couldn't see her face. She tucked one arm in against his side and the other slid around his waist. Purring, he moved his arm down to her back, tucking her in closer and kicked his feet up on the table. A moment later, her body went slack, and he knew she'd checked out again, gone back inside herself with Jane and the others, he supposed. He sighed and closed his eyes, deciding to just be content she'd done so in his arms.

* * *

Garrus awoke with a start, neck stiff from sleeping sitting up on the couch. Dawn wasn't next to him anymore, and he didn't see her when he looked around the room. Panic gripped him for a moment, closing a fist around his throat, and he chuffed, shaking his head to clear away the last of the cobwebs. He didn't even mean to fall asleep, but he wasn't really surprised. Sleep had been rather elusive since Anderson took Dawn away from the _Normandy_. That first night without her, alone in her cabin, surrounded by her scent, he spent the night keening into her pillows. Since moving to the Citadel, he mostly tossed and turned when he laid down, or just stayed awake half the night looking over reports and reaching out to his old contacts. Last night he talked to Jack for a few hours until she fell asleep.

Pushing himself from the couch, he took in a deep breath and started walking, following the trail of her scent. He found her standing in the bathroom, door open as she stared at her reflection. Her gaze shifted, meeting his in the mirror. She looked so lost and confused, it tore out a little piece of his soul. She turned her gaze back to her own reflection, and he watched her in silence, mandibles slack as his heart ached.

She lifted a hand to her face but stopped just before making contact. For a moment, she smelled of the same fear he'd grown use to with her nightmares. Moving into the bathroom behind her, he put a hand on her shoulder, a nameless feeling writhing along his gizzard making him feel like she was slipping through his fingers. He'd seen that look in her eyes before—even if the rest of her face wasn't as expressive at the moment—the night Brooke took over as Dawn started waking up from her coma. She'd seen Dawn's face in Spike's terrarium and lost it.

The sound of the front door sliding open drew his attention, and he guided Dawn out of the bathroom. She followed without complaint, going wherever his hand led her. James and Dr. Chakwas stood in the living room area, glancing around.

Dr. Chakwas' gaze found Garrus, and she smiled. "Ah, there you two are."

He flicked his mandibles, giving her a smile. "Yeah … we were just checking out how incredibly attractive we both are." Squeezing Dawn's shoulder a little, he led her back to the couch. "There really should be mirrors in every room."

Dr. Chakwas scoffed, waving her hand. "When you get to be my age, mirrors are _not_ your friends."

James nudged Dr. Chakwas. "Come on, doc, you're still—"

"Lieutenant Vega," she said, arching her eyebrow and pointing at him, "you finish that sentence, and I'll have Garrus shoot you."

Garrus chuckled, sitting down next to Dawn. "Just say the word."

James sat down on the other side of Dawn, taking up as much space as possible, as if he didn't take up enough without trying. "What? I'm just sayin' you don't have anything to worry about."

Dr. Chakwas snorted softly, rolling her eyes as she sat down in a chair near the couch, crossing her legs and folding her hands in her lap. She turned her attention to Dawn and asked, "How are you feeling today, Commander?"

All eyes turned to Dawn, but she didn't meet anyone's gaze. Instead, she stared fixedly at the shelf holding her photographs and Joker's hat. Garrus half expected her to go back to the shelf again, but she didn't leave his side.

After nearly a minute of silence, he hummed and looked back to the doctor. "She talked a little, earlier."

"For real?" James glanced at Garrus, eyebrows raised, from over Dawn's head.

"Oh? That's fantastic!" Dr. Chakwas leaned forward, opening her omni-tool before turning her attention back to him. "What did she say?"

Garrus fluttered his mandibles, gaze flicking to Dawn instinctively, seeking her guidance but not finding any. He forced his attention back to Dr. Chakwas, waiting for him to answer. "Hmmm. She didn't really say much. She uh, she touched my face, and I thought I heard her say my name then. A few minutes later, she carried Joker's hat over to the shelf," he said, pointing at the hat, "and started looking at the pictures. She told me Joker's dead and so is Zaeed then said something about not having any pictures of Zaeed."

He shifted, turning a little more towards Dawn and took her hand in his. He hated talking about her as if she wasn't there, wished she'd say something else, take part in the conversation. Throat tightening, he took a deep breath and swallowed down the grief threatening to break through the surface again.

He stayed quiet for a moment, looking at their hands while he thought back on their brief conversation. "I tried to apologize … for Joker. She said it isn't my fault and tried to blame herself and Jane. I told her it couldn't be their fault, but she just said, 'Our fault.'" Looking back at the doctor, he cleared his throat, all to aware of his voice cracking as he spoke. "She started crying and leaned into me."

Dr. Chakwas' gaze flicked back up from her omni-tool. "Anything else?"

Garrus shook his head. "No." But, Spirits, he wished she'd given him more.

"She touched my face when I sat down next to her the other day, too." James leaned forward a little, glancing between Garrus and Dr. Chakwas. "What's that about?"

"I'm not entirely sure." Dr. Chakwas shook her head. "She did the same to me when I checked on her yesterday. It's possible she's trying to reassert herself on reality—unable or unwilling to rely entirely on her other senses. Perhaps touch is helping to anchor her."

"Well, there you go, Scars." James waggled his eyebrows, a smirk covering his face.

Garrus chuffed, flicking his mandibles and shaking his head. Right, like Dawn had any interest in anything sexual, she barely acknowledged his presence from one minute to the next. He turned his attention back to Dr. Chakwas before he decided to cuff the marine; he knew James meant it as a joke, but Garrus didn't find much humor in the situation. "So, you're saying she isn't sure we're real?"

"I believe so. We know she was already experiencing memories from those Shepards she … absorbed during her coma, and it only increased when she took in more later. Her mental status was already fragile, adding trauma on top of that, particularly losing someone she was close to … it makes sense that a part of her would revert to a reality where Joker still lives."

"The memories from the other Shepards are more real to her right now than we are?" James furrowed his brow.

"Precisely." Dr. Chakwas nodded. "But, she _is_ showing signs of processing this trauma and is slowly reorienting back to this, more painful, reality."

"After she stopped crying, she sat back down and it was just like it never happened. I tried talking to her a little more, but she didn't say anything else. After a little while, she leaned in against me and just disappeared again." He fluttered his mandibles, embarrassed to admit he spent half his time with her sleeping, but he fessed up. "I fell asleep for awhile, and when I woke up, I found her in the bathroom looking in the mirror. I think—I'm not sure she really recognizes her own reflection."

"Why do you think that?" Dr. Chakwas' hand moved back to her omni-tool.

He shook his head, swallowing again and flared his mandibles. "Just the look in her eyes, I guess. And the way she started to touch her face but stopped half an inch away. It reminded me of the night Brooke panicked when she saw Dawn's face."

Dr. Chakwas hummed, and he almost saw the gears turning in her head. James turned his attention to Dawn, studying her face as if he expected to see something different than a moment before. Garrus lifted a hand, careful of his bare talons, and scooped a lock of hair back out of her face, tucking it behind her ear—a gesture that once would've certainly brought a smile to her face but not anymore.

"I suppose it's possible, with the memories, from time to time when she looks in the mirror she isn't seeing herself." Dr. Chakwas bobbed her head from side to side. "It might even simply be the influence of emotions coming from the other Shepards, like Brooke, they see Dawn's face instead of their own, and it troubles them."

"So, is there anything we can do to help her, you know, re-adjust faster?" James asked, giving voice to Garrus' thoughts.

Dr. Chakwas smiled, leaning back in her chair again and closing her omni-tool. "Ultimately it's something she has to do on her own, but being here with her, talking to her, even touching her in ways we normally touch her _is_ helping."

James spread his hands apart, palms up. "That's it?"

It occured to Garrus that James' nickname for Dawn meant more than just a term of endearment. He really did idolize her, and seeing her fall apart had to be messing with his head, too. Garrus wondered what James talked to her about when no one else was around. Maybe he gave her pep talks, it seemed like something he'd do.

"Well, now that she's eating and moving around on her own again, I suppose encouraging proper nutrition and exercise will also be helpful." Dr. Chakwas glanced pointedly at the empty bottle of Tupari and then at Garrus.

He fluttered his mandibles, brow ridges hiking up. "Don't look at me, James gave it to me to give to her."

"What?" James shrugged, the corner of his mouth lifting in a lopsided smile. "She likes them."

Dr. Chakwas scoffed, taking on a motherly tone. "Regardless, things like Tupari should be limited. They aren't healthy."

Dawn told Garrus one night that Dr. Chakwas and Dr. Tulina were more than just friends, and Dr. Tulina was pregnant when the collectors hit the old _Normandy_. It was a shame, he thought Dr. Chakwas would've made a wonderful … father. Though, if he were completely honest, a part of him thought Dr. Tulina had to be insane to have stayed on the _Normandy_ in her condition. She'd been in Dawn's head, she knew what they were up against … and how it would end.

He cleared his throat, pushing the thought away and changing the subject. "Has Thane been to see her yet?" Fluttering his mandibles, he looked down at Dawn's hand in his as she began running her thumb along his knuckles.

His heart gave a few, rapid thumps against his ribs, and he smiled, tightening his grip on her hand just a little. She was still in there. His Dawn was still in there, and he'd keep fighting to pull her back out. Anything she needed. Anything.

"Yeah, he came by on her third day here. Said he wanted to give her a couple of days to settle in." James hesitated a moment, looking at Dawn. "She was still pretty out of it, though, I don't think she even knew he was here. He left after a couple of hours; he had a meeting with a hanar diplomat. He was going to talk to them about the reapers. I haven't heard from him since."

Dawn's hand twitched in Garrus' grip, and then her caressing stopped. He looked at her, and her eyes glazed over, hand going limp in his. His mandibles drooped, and he let out a soft sigh.

"It's okay, Garrus." Dr. Chakwas' voice took on that soft, concerned coo she often used when Dawn or Jane became upset over something, and he didn't particularly like hearing it directed at him. She offered him a warm smile. "This didn't happen to her overnight; it's not going to fix itself overnight, either."

Something in him retreated, a shutter slamming down, protecting him from the ache and the fear. He'd waited two years for Dawn to come back to him, but as soon as she did, he started losing her again. Was it just more wishful thinking to believe he might help piece her back together again? How much could one woman go through and still come through the other side? What if it was what the rest of their life would be like together?

Maybe it wasn't a bad thing, with the way she was just then, she wouldn't be fighting in the war let alone activating the Crucible. Maybe it was the answer to how she survived the war. He chuffed, hanging his head while he stared at the floor in front of him. Spirits, who the hell would wish something like that for someone they loved?


	86. Sparatus

**Sparatus**

"I don't recall asking for your opinion." Sparatus snapped his mandibles in tight against his face.

If Adrien thought for one minute he wouldn't beat the other turian over the head with his cane, well, the general had another thought coming. Sparatus took a few steps closer, forcing his mandibles to relax and straightened his spine, meeting the other turian eye to eye despite his injuries.

Adrien flared his mandibles, tucking his hands behind his back and shaking his head. "Be that as it may, you're even more foolish than I thought if you won't listen to reason. The primarch has given you leave to move troops against The Dissension, but he didn't mean you can just throw lives away."

"I'm not throwing lives away, I'm putting them to good use." Sparatus turned, the shocks of pain from still healing nerves shooting down his legs forcing him back to his desk. He eased himself into the chair, glaring at Adrien, daring the general to comment on his weakness. "Victory doesn't come without risks and costs, General Victus. You, of all people with your service record, should understand this reality."

"What I understand, _sir_ , is this human, Commander Shepard, has managed to convince the primarch the reaper threat she speaks of is real." Adrien crossed the floor to sit down on the other side of Sparatus' desk _without_ invitation. "If this is the case, we're going to need every last damn unit we have to fight the upcoming war. The Dissension is a very real problem, I don't deny that, but they are a problem that can be handled more efficiently and with less casualties by Blackwatch. What I understand, _sir_ , is you are still thinking like a Councilor—which you are no longer. Wipe The Dissension off the board, do it fast, and do it discreetly. To hell with what the rest of the galaxy thinks."

Sparatus flicked his mandibles, growing more annoyed with the general with every word to come out of his mouth. "You have no understanding of politics or diplomacy, Victus. If we want to keep the peace with humans and be _able_ to focus on the reapers when they arrive, then the galaxy needs to see the Hierarchy taking charge to end The Dissension. So long as we act in the public eye, the humans remain content enough to not take matters into their own hands, and it gives the Council the room _they_ need to prepare _everyone_ for the reapers."

Adrien chuffed, his shoulders and chest heaving with mock laughter. "You mean it gives them the room they need to continue struggling to maintain their lies to everyone else in the face of mounting evidence to the contrary."

Sparatus grunted, he couldn't really deny the fact the Council was swiftly running out of time before the galaxy stopped listening. He'd said as much to the Council when he resigned, said as much to his replacement. Anderson, of course, agreed, but the oaf would agree with anything that painted humanity as valiant in the face of a threat. Taking a deep breath, he let it out in a sigh, mandibles flaring. "Any word on the krogan?"

Adrien shifted, leaning to the side to prop his elbow on the arm of his chair. "The latest reports show Urdnot Wrex has managed to bring in all but the Gatatog and Weyrloc clans." Adrien rested his chin on his palm, one finger curling around to rest above his upper mouth plates. "He's in talks with the new leader of Gatatog, Krunlot, but it's too early to tell which way it will swing." His mandibles flicked with amusement. "Several of the members of Gatatog are still upset Shepard and her tank-bred killed their former leader after his attempts to sabotage the tank-bred's Rite of Passage."

"Grunt," Sparatus said. "His name is Urdnot Grunt."

Adrien flicked his mandibles and lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "There's been reports of several clans having sworn themselves to aid Shepard against the reapers." He sighed, shifting his weight to the other arm of the chair. "The krogan _are_ preparing for the war."

Sparatus nodded. "Good. Spirits help me, but we're going to need them."

* * *

Sparatus leaned his weight on his cane, watching the interrogation through the glass. The turian on the other side of the window was the third so far that day. He'd only been in the chair for a half hour, and already he'd given them twelve new names. In the last week alone, they'd arrested thirty-two men and women associated with The Dissension. The rhetoric Sparatus heard them spewing went well beyond insanity; he began to wonder if what he saw in some of the members of The Dissension might be the same reaper indoctrination Saren fell victim to.

"You won't stop us," the turian under interrogation, Temius Candilin, said. "The humans _must_ pay for what they've done."

"And what is it you think the humans have done?" Lieutenant Sanctius leaned back in his chair, resting one foot atop the other knee.

Candilin scoffed, mandibles flicking with agitation as he looked away.

Sanctius let out a weary sigh, tapping a talon against the metal table. "Answer the question."

"We were to be the firsts," Candilin said before snarling, "but then the humans came."

"The firsts?" Sanctius lifted a brow ridge. "The firsts for what?"

"The first to ascend, to meet our destiny!" Candilin tugged at the manacles keeping him shackled to the table. "But now, thanks to _Commander Shepard_ , we've fallen from favor."

Sparatus' veins filled with ice water.

 _Spirits, it is indoctrination._

Turning on his heel, he made his way from the viewing room and used his cane to tap on the door to the interrogation room. The door slid open and Sanctius raised his brow plates, stepping aside to clear the way for Sparatus. Cane clicking across the tiled floor with each step, Sparatus made his way to stand in front of Candilin.

The turian glared at Sparatus, hate filling his eyes. "You're a traitor to your people."

"Where's the reaper artifact?" Sparatus shifted his weight to stand a little straighter despite the twinge of pain running down his legs.

The scent of Sanctius' sudden tension filled the air, and he moved up next to Sparatus. "Sir?"

"This man is indoctrinated, Lieutenant." Sparatus didn't bother to take his gaze off of Candilin. "Where is the artifact? Is it on Palaven?"

Candilin's mandibles flared. "You can't stop this. They _are_ coming."

Sparatus turned, headed back for the door. "Lieutenant, I want you to find out where the artifact is that Candilin was exposed to. I need to call Primarch Fedorian."

* * *

"You're certain about this?" Fedorian closed his eyes, rubbing a thumb and finger over his lids. It was the third time they talked in as many days, and each conversation just seemed to age Fedorian another another few years. "We destroyed Temple Palaven to prevent a bioweapon emergency decades ago."

"Yes, and who issued the order?" Sparatus lifted a brow plate when the primarch met his gaze again.

Fedorain flared his mandibles. "Saren Arterius. Spirits."

"We're still piecing together the story, but I believe the 'bioweapon' Saren mentioned _was_ a reaper artifact. After he became indoctrinated himself, he began excavating the temple's ruins in secret. Whatever was in the temple, it seems Saren didn't believe the Hierarchy managed to completely destroy it with the orbital attacks." Sparatus fluttered his mandibles, shifting his weight. "Which means it must've been more powerful than the one Shepard destroyed on Fehl Prime. Well, or at least built more sturdily."

"Even if it was destroyed, who's to say the remains aren't still just as dangerous?" Fedorian tapped his talons on his desk. "Alright, I'm going to have the area quartered off and quarantined. Let's hope the shielding we have is sufficient." He reached out as if about to disconnect the call but stopped, meeting Sparatus' gaze once more. "This information doesn't leave the Hierarchy until I know for certain what we're dealing with, am I clear?"

"Yes, sir." Sparatus nodded, and the screen went black.

* * *

"Calling to check up on me again, Tevos?" Sparatus asked as he answered the call.

She smiled, and as much as he hated to admit it, he missed seeing that same smile in person. Missed seeing _her_. She'd softened him over the years, left him a shell of the turian he was when he joined the Council. Twenty years he served, and fifteen of those years were spent alongside her as something more than colleagues, late nights together 'working' in his office or hers, days off and vacations spent hiding away together from prying eyes. Oh how they struggled to keep their relationship a secret for the sake of appearing impartial. If Valern learned of his intimate relationship with Tevos, the salarian councilor would call every ruling they made into question. Spirits knew Anderson would, too, and the annoying human ambassador, Udina, would be right there beside him throwing one of his endless tantrums.

"I wouldn't need to call to check on you if I trusted you to take care of yourself." She raised a brow ridge, her smile shifting into the private one she reserved for him and him alone. "How are you, Sparatus? Are you following the doctor's orders?"

He fluttered his mandibles, turning enough in his chair to stretch his aching legs out a little to the side. "Stop worrying, Tevos." He let out a soft purr, smiling at her. "I'm fine, and I'll see you soon. I've already booked passage to the Citadel for the day after tomorrow."

She let out a soft sigh. "Goddess, I miss you. Being on the Council has become unbearable without you."

He flicked a mandible. "Is Quentius not working out?"

"Oh no, he's fine, I suppose." She chuckled, leaning back in her chair. "I just got so used to dealing with a stubborn old turian with a little more backbone."

He chuffed, tracing the edge of his desk with his talon. "I seem to remember a time when my stubborness drove you crazy." He chuckled. "The first disagreement we got into, what was it over? Human expansion in the Skyllian Verge? Anyway, I felt so sure you were seconds away from ripping me off my feet with a Singularity."

"Mmm, actually, I was thinking of using a Warp," she said, lifting a brow.

He hissed, shifting it into a laugh. "I'm glad we found a more pleasant way to _solve_ our disputes."

She grinned. "So am I. In fact, now that you're not on the Council anymore, I think it's safe to tell you I may have started a few arguments just so we could find creative ways to solve them."

Sparatus laughed, mandibles fluttering. "So did I."

* * *

"Councilor! What a pleasant surprise. Are you here to visit someone?" The asari behind the visitor station desk beamed up at him.

He flared his mandibles, fighting back the urge to ask her what the hell she was so cheerful about. "I'm not a councilor anymore."

"Oh, yes, of course. I'm so sorry." Her cheeks shifted from baby blue to purple.

He chuffed, ignoring the apology, as if his resignation from the Council wasn't his choice. "I'd like to see Commander Shepard, I'm told she's a patient here."

"Ah … give me just one moment, I'll have to contact her guardian." The asari turned her attention to her console.

"Guardian? Is she really that bad?" Sparatus flared his mandibles, beginning to question the wisdom of going to The Pearson Sisters' Sanctuary.

"I'm sorry, Coun—ah, Sparatus. I'm not allowed to divulge any details about any patient's status without express permission from either them or their guardian." She waved a hand at the chairs lining the wall. "If you'd like to take a seat, I'll contact Lieutenant Vega and let him know you're here."

Sparatus huffed. "Anderson made Lieutenant Vega her guardian?" He turned, taking slow steps towards the seating. "Of course he did."

He eased himself into one of the chairs, resting his cane against his knee and waited. There were a few people milling about the area, two asari talking quietly together over by a fountain, a salarian wearing a labcoat talking to two humans in hushed tones—the female crying, wiping her nose on a handkerchief—and two other humans sitting in chairs across from him, watching him with wary eyes. He'd hoped having his name cleared of charges and his work to apprehend those involved with The Dissension might earn him at least a little reprieve from the prying eyes, but he'd been mistaken. Still, no one dared to approach him as he made his way through the Citadel, and honestly, the extra distance everyone seemed to give him more than made up for the cross looks.

"Sparatus?" The asari called out, and he looked up to see her standing a few feet away. "Lieutenant Vega has approved your visitation request. I'll show you to her rooms, if you're ready?"

Bracing his cane on the floor, he groaned as he pushed himself up. The asari moved to his side, reaching for him as if he were elderly and at risk of falling. His gaze snapped to her, and he shot his best 'don't you dare' glare at her, making her blanch and take a step back. He might not be exactly young anymore, and he might be recovering from significant injuries, but he was still able-bodied and of sound enough mind to take insult at the woman's attempts to coddle him. He'd had enough of Tevos trying to do that since he stepped foot back on the Citadel.

He followed the asari attendant down the hall, grumbling when she deliberately slowed her steps to accommodate him. Thankfully he didn't have to go very far, it looked like they gave Shepard one of the nicer rooms in the facility, no surprise there. She was technically still a Spectre, after all. The two Alliance guards stationed outside the door nodded to him, and the asari knocked, smiling at Sparatus before turning and walking away again.

A moment later the door slid open and Vega beckoned him inside. Sparatus nodded to the two guards before stepping over the threshold. Shepard sat on a couch at the far side of the room, watching him without expression.

"I uh, I should warn you, she doesn't have a lot of impulse control right now," Vega said, keeping his voice low as he rubbed at the back of his neck.

Sparatus flared his mandibles. "How so?"

"Ah … well, I needed to step out for a little while earlier, and she tried to leave. When the guards stepped in her way, she used her biotics to Throw one across the room. Broke his arm, had to call in a replacement." Vega shook his head. "She spent an hour crying her eyes out afterwards, just kept saying she's sorry."

 _Spirits. I guess they can't exactly take her biotics away … or her hand to hand skills._

Sparatus straightened his spine, doing his best to hide his weaknesses; he was turian, after all. "Thanks for the warning." He pushed forward, making his way further into the room, telling himself the uncomfortable itch under his plates wasn't because Shepard's gaze tracked his movements like a predator. He stopped when he got to the first place to sit down and lowered himself into the chair. "Hello, Commander."

She blinked, watching him for long moments in utter silence before she simply said, "Sparatus."

He had the eerie feeling she meant it less as a greeting and more as a confirmation, as if she were merely identifying an object placed in front of her. Fluttering his mandibles, he fought back the urge to shift around in his seat, instead, forcing a smile on his face. "You came to see me while I was in the hospital, I thought it only fair I return the favor."

After another long stretch of silence, Vega said, "Yeah, she doesn't really talk much, but keep talking to her. Dr. Chakwas says it helps keep her oriented. She understands what you're saying just fine."

Sparatus glanced over his shoulder at the human marine taken up station behind him and gave Vega a sharp nod. Turning his attention back to Shepard, he said, "The list you gave Primarch Fedorian has been an immense help in tracking down members of The Dissension, including those we believe to be responsible for the attack at Tiberius Towers." He fluttered his mandibles when she didn't respond. "We've taken over two hundred into custody, and forty more were killed resisting arrest."

"The list had what? Five hundred names?" Vega asked, drawing Sparatus' attention.

Sparatus dipped his head in a nod. "Yes, and although we know their numbers are higher, we don't yet have any idea how many more there are." He hummed. "But the Shadow Broker, of all people, has been sending the primarch updated lists. Fedorian said Shepard made arrangements with the Broker before …."

Vega smirked, scratching at the side of his stubble covered face. "Yeah, you could say that."

Sparatus raised a brow plate.

The human shrugged. "She's Shepard, she makes things happen, especially when the odds are stacked against her. The Council threatened her with treason, blocked her access to Spectre resources, so she made some things happen, and now she's got access to the Shadow Broker's resources."

"She … she _knows_ the Shadow Broker?" Sparatus' mandibles fell slack, eyes widening. Spirits, the things they could do with the Shadow Broker's resources ….

Vega held his hands out and shrugged with both shoulders. "Maybe. You'd have to ask her."

Sparatus knew the man was being evasive, knew more than he said; Sparatus smelled it on him. He wouldn't press, though, he held no authority over the human. Not anymore. Instead, he turned his attention back to Shepard and flicked his mandibles. She still hadn't said anything more than his name, how was he supposed to ask her if she knew the Shadow Broker? She stared at him, blinking slowly every so often but otherwise remained motionless. It made his hide crawl.

"Shepard, do you know who the Shadow Broker is?" he asked, shifting uneasily beneath her gaze.

"Yes," she said, surprising him.

He hummed with excitement, pushing himself to the edge of his chair, leaning in a little closer to her. "Who? Who is the Shadow Broker?"

"No," she said.

Sparatus straightened his spine, holding her gaze, only half conscious of his tone shifting back to that of the councilor as he said, "Commander, if you have access to the Shadow Broker's resources—"

"No," she said more forcefully, brow furrowing.

Vega shifted a little behind him, clearing his throat, and when Sparatus looked up at the marine, he gave Sparatus a tight shake of his head. Remembering what the lieutenant said about Shepard using her biotics against one of her guards, Sparatus sucked in a shallow breath and sat back in the chair again. His mandibles flicked with agitation, and he tapped a talon against his cane, reminding himself for the second time in a matter of seconds that he'd left the Council and held no authority over either of the humans present. He'd come as a courtesy, to show Shepard the same respect she'd shown him, and to update her on The Dissension since she'd been so useful in the entire ordeal. Spirits, she sided with him publicly and then saved his life, the least he could do was respect her wishes, at least while she still worked to recover from the loss of so many.

He sighed, relaxing into his chair and decided to change the topic. "We've located Spectre Protalus … well, the Shadow Broker located her. He refused to tell us where exactly she is, but he did agree to pass on a message from the primarch. Fedorian spoke to the Council on Protalus' behalf, and they've agreed to allow her to continue her work, ferreting out other members. They're not letting it be known publicly, of course."

She didn't respond, just sat there, passively watching him once again.

"I spoke to Anderson earlier today. He said you're making progress, and he expects you to pull through this." He flared his mandibles. "He also said there's no way you'd let anyone else lead the fight against the reapers."

Her brow furrowed, eyes narrowing. "You don't believe the reapers are real."

Sparatus cocked his head to the side, confused. "I do, Shepard. We talked about this several times, when you first came back to the Citadel after Cerberus …." His mandibles stilled, and he glanced back at Vega again only to have the man shrug. "Has her memory been affected, too?"

"The Council never believes us until it's too late," Shepard said, a familiar outrage seeping into her tone, drawing his attention back to her.

Unease swept over him, mandibles flaring as he tilted his head to look at her. She stood up, the movement abrupt enough to make him jump a little, and Vega took a step closer. Her gaze shifted to the lieutenant and then back to Sparatus before she turned, walking over to a shelf where she picked up a hat.

"The reapers are coming, and Palaven will burn," she said, barely above a whisper, quiet enough he doubted Vega heard her at all. "We will unite the galaxy, bring an end to all of your petty squabbling, and then, just like a thousand times before, we will die." She ran her fingers over the SR-2 emblazoned on the hat, tears welling up in her eyes. "When we wake up again, everyone we've lost this time will be alive again. We can start over."

 _What in the world …? What is she talking about? Anderson is truly insane if he thinks for even a minute she's going to be fit to lead this war._

She turned, looking dead at Sparatus, and with her voice still feather soft, she said, "We think it's listening to us."

"Hey, Ídola, we can't hear you with you whispering from over there." Vega bobbed his head when Sparatus glanced at him. "Well, _I_ can't." The man took a few steps closer to Shepard, putting himself partially in front of Sparatus. "Sparatus isn't on the Council anymore, remember? The Dissension went after him while we were at Anderson's apartment. You and Garrus found Sparatus upstairs, in his apartment, trapped under … what was it?" He glanced at Sparatus.

Sparatus frowned, refusing to acknowledge the embarrassment he felt over having his choice of home décor nearly be the thing to end his life. "A model of one of Palaven's moons, Menae." He flicked his mandibles, understanding what the marine intended, even if he didn't understand why it was necessary. He turned his attention back to Shepard and added, "You came to visit me in the hospital after that, and I told you I planned to retire. I moved back to Palaven, where I've been working to prepare the turians for the reapers and hunt down The Dissension."

Confusion seemed to pull at her for a couple of seconds, her brow furrowing as she looked at him. "The Dissension," she said, putting the hat back on the shelf. "We remember."

 _Spirits what happened to her? Why does she keep calling herself 'we'? What 'it'? What does she think is listening to us? A reaper? Could this have something to do with whatever the prothean beacons did to her?_

The whole thing was more than he signed on for. He expected to find her depressed, maybe refusing to get out of bed and eat, hell even suicidal. He'd heard about humans doing those things while they were grieving, and she had plenty of reasons to grieve. He certainly _did not_ expect her to be rambling nonsense and prophesying about Palaven burning. He needed to tell Tevos how serious Shepard's condition really was, obviously Anderson had been misleading the Council.

Pushing himself up from the chair with a groan, he glanced at Vega. "I should get going. I'm scheduled to go back to Palaven in three hours, and I have a couple of stops I need to make before I board the ship."

"Sparatus," Shepard said, and he turned back to her, but she wasn't looking at him, gaze returned to the hat on the shelf. "The galaxy needs to work together if you want to survive what's coming. The sooner that starts, the better. If you're finally listening … tell everyone. Tell them all. The reapers will be here soon."

He fluttered his mandibles, glancing back to Vega before returning his gaze to her. "I'm listening, Shepard, and so is the Council. I have to go now … take care of yourself." He turned, making his way back to the door when she didn't say anything else or even look at him again.

Vega followed him, stepping out into the hall before saying, "She's right, you know? We're all going to have to work together on this. It can't just be the turians doing their thing while the humans, asari, and everyone else does something different. You're not on the Council anymore, but you still have pull. Use it."

Sparatus shifted his mandibles in tight against his jaws, annoyed by the human's audacity but hearing the truth in his words nonetheless. He gave the lieutenant a curt nod. "I'll take it into consideration. Good day, Lieutenant."

* * *

Tevos stood up from her desk when he walked into her office. Smiling, she met him halfway into the room, wrapping her arms around his waist. "I didn't expect to see you again before you left for Palaven."

He leaned down, pressing his forehead against hers. "I went to see Shepard."

"Oh?" She pulled back to meet his gaze.

"We need to talk …." He waved his hand at the chair, and Tevos lifted her brow. "Let an old man sit down."

She chuckled, dropping her arms and returning to the chair behind her desk. Sitting down, she watched him as he made his way to the seat across from her. "And how is Shepard?"

Sparatus eased himself down and rested his cane against his hip. "Not nearly as well as Anderson has led you to believe."

"How so?" Tevos leaned forward, folding her arms on her desk.

"She's … it's not really easy to explain." Her fluttered his mandibles while he thought. "She seems very confused, and she needed to be reminded of things … like the fact I'm not on the Council anymore, and we believe her about the reapers." He flicked his mandible and dipped his brow plates. "She kept calling herself 'we' and said something about 'it listening to us.'"

"It? What is she talking about?" Confusion filled Tevos' eyes, leaving Sparatus feeling at least a little less lost and alone.

He shook his head. "I'm not sure. A reaper, maybe?"

"Goddess." Tevos lifted a hand to her mouth, delicate, slender fingers covering her lips. "Do you think she's indoctrinated?"

The thought hadn't really occurred to him, but he supposed it was a possibility. "I don't know … I had thought it was a side effect from the prothean beacons, maybe even something the collectors did to her, but you might be right. I _do_ know she's in no condition to be leading the war, and I highly doubt she will be any time soon."

She leaned back in her chair and sighed. "That is unfortunate. Still, she is only one woman. It's not as if our victory hinges on whether or not she's fit to fight."

Sparatus wasn't sure why, and he'd never say it outloud, but his gut told him Shepard played a more pivotal role in things to come than anyone wanted to admit. Spirits, the woman's ancestors sent her back from the dead to fight the reapers. After a moment of silence, Tevos stood, a mischievous smile on her face as she rounded the desk again, her movements slow and seductive as she worked at the buttons on her dress.

"Was that all, or did you want to keep talking about Shepard?" She arched her brow, letting the material slip down off her shoulders, exposing her collar bone.

He flared his mandibles, holding his hand out to her and pulled her to him when she slid her hand into his. "Shepard who?"

Tevos chuckled, reaching back to activate her intercom system. "Selene? Hold all my calls, I don't want to be disturbed."

Reaching up, he slid his hand down along her arm, tugging her dress down further, only distantly aware of Selene's reply. The dress hit the floor in a puddle at her feet, and Tevos stepped out of it, taking his hand in hers to urge him back to his feet. He suppressed a grumble as he stood and leaned over her, pulling the scents of Thessian oceans into his nostrils, the particular smell never leaving her skin no matter how much time she spent away from her home. He settled his hands on her hips and backed her towards the desk.

She smiled and began working at the clasps on his tunic. He hummed, feeling her soft skin slide over his plate and hide as he tugged his gloves off, tossing them on the desk. His legs ached, but he could ignore it for the time being; he'd be damned if he let it get in the way of giving her a proper goodbye. She pushed his tunic off, and it fell to the floor. His plates were already parting when she reached for the clasps of his trousers.

… _and then, just like a thousand times before, we will die._

Spartaus froze, mandibles pulling in against his face as he fought to banish Shepard's voice from his mind. He closed his eyes, lowering his face to the crook of Tevos' neck again, breathing in her scent and using it to wash away the tension, like talons prying away at his plates. Small, gentle fingers kneaded at the hide beneath his crest, pulling a purr from him. He nipped at her delicate skin, and she tugged open his trousers, pushing them down off of his hips before her free hand moved to coax him further out of his plates.

"I hope you're not still thinking about _Shepard_ ," Tevos whispered in his ear, her hand wrapping around him as he slid completely free.


	87. Tali

**Tali**

Tali stood, arms crossed loosely in front of her, weight resting on one hip as she leaned against the port observation window. Thoughts bouncing back and forth between Shepard, Rannoch, and the Illusive Man, she let out a low growl of frustration. Her best friend—no, Shepard meant more to Tali than just a friend, more like a _sister_ —was being kept locked away in a hospital designed especially for the mentally ill—something Tali didn't entirely understand—and there Tali was, still aboard Shepard's ship headed to the human homeworld. It didn't seem at all right.

Tali remembered when they went to the Luna base to shut down the Alliance's rouge VI—which turned out to be EDI. Talk about awkward. She remembered how proud Shepard sounded when she asked Tali what she thought about the gorgeous planet. Granted, Shepard and Ashley also sounded disappointed in humanity when they talked about the terrible things humans did, but Earth looked so peaceful from the moon's surface. Even if Shepard came from the human colony on Mindoir, Earth _was_ her homeworld. The _human_ homeworld. Tali shouldn't be going to Earth without Shepard. Not when she helped the quarians get back to Rannoch.

Rannoch! Keelah, Shepard found a way to _give_ her people back their homeworld! She'd dreamed of a house of her own on Rannoch all of her life, but she never expected to have the opportunity without bloodshed and war. Maybe, with Rannoch being reestablished, the Admiralty Board would allow her father to return. Sure, he'd still have to pay for his crimes, but he could do it from _home_ and not in exile.

 _Home._

The thought pulled at Tali, made her heart sing with an impossible mix of joy and sorrow. Her people had a home again, but in a few months time, the reapers would arrive, and they'd defile the sacred grounds of Rannoch. For the first time since the Geth War, quarian blood would be spilled on Rannoch. Lives would be sacrificed fighting to defend the home they waited so long for, only the reapers wouldn't just chase them from the Perseus Veil.

She couldn't go home yet, though. Not until the Illusive Man joined his ancestors—if they'd even take the bosh'tet. A part of Tali wanted to not hate the disgusting human, after all, he'd returned Shepard to her, but … after everything the man did—he even attacked the Migrant Fleet!—and everything Shepard said he'd do in the days to come, Tali couldn't find it in herself to feel anything but a bitter rage towards the Illusive Man. She let out a heavy sigh followed by a surprised gasp as warm arms wrapped around her waist.

Kal chuckled, resting his chin on her shoulder. "You should get some rest, Tali. We'll be on Earth in a few hours."

"Do you really think he'll be there? Why would the Illusive Man go to Earth?" Tali wrapped her arms around Kal's, lacing her fingers through his. Keelah, she loved him. She couldn't imagine any reality where she wouldn't be with Kal, no matter what Shepard said. "It seems stupid, he's more likely to get caught by the Alliance on Earth, isn't he? Especially with the Alliance on high alert after the collector attack. How does Miranda even expect to land a Cerberus ship on Earth without Shepard aboard?"

Kal chuckled again, tugging at her, urging her back to the bed. "Those are all very good questions, but unfortunately, I don't have the answers, ma'am."

Tali snorted, slapping his shoulder. "I told you not to call me that."

"Mhmm." Kal pulled her into his embrace, hands running down the length of her waist and hips, sparking a hunger inside of her. He leaned in, pressing the side of his mask against her head, voice low and sultry in the way he _knew_ drove her crazy. "But we both know you like it when I do, _ma'am_."

She giggled, slapping his shoulder again. "Bosh'tet."

He made a low, throaty hum, sliding his hands behind her to cup her ass. "Come back to bed. I miss you." He picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist.

She squealed, throwing her arms around his neck to keep from falling back and laughed. Pressing her mask against his, remembering the warmth of his lips on hers when they first saw each other's faces on Rannoch, she said, "You mean you miss the sounds I make when I let you have control over my nerve stimulator."

"Mmm that, too." He turned, carrying her back to the bed before laying her down, staying between her legs. "I'll give you control of mine if you promise to stay here after and get some sleep."

"Deal," Tali said with a smirk.

* * *

"Good morning, Tali, Kal. ETA to Earth, one hour." EDI's hologram lit up the room, and although Tali woke up about five minutes before, she didn't _want_ to be awake, so she groaned.

Kal rolled over, sliding his arm around her waist, pressing his mask against the side of hers but answered the AI, "Thank you, EDI."

EDI didn't respond. In fact, she hadn't done a lot of interacting with the crew beyond what was expected of her since Joker's death and Shepard's 'mental breakdown', as everyone else kept calling it. Tali didn't understand _exactly_ what kind of relationship EDI had with Joker, but it seemed almost like … almost like they were falling in love with each other. Tali asked Shepard about it once, but Shepard just smiled and told her not to 'jinx it'—whatever _that_ meant. Either way, Tali couldn't deny the obvious: EDI grieved Joker's death and the—hopefully temporary—loss of Shepard; just as they all did.

Her omni-tool vibrated and she opened it, seeing it was Admiral Koris calling. Again. Sighing, she sat up and accepted the call. "Hello, Admiral." She suppressed a scoff, feeling Kal slink out of the bed behind her.

 _Coward._

"Tali'Zorah." He nodded. "Has there been any word on Shepard's recovery?" At least the Admiral didn't waste any time getting to the point, but he'd already called five times since they took Shepard to the Citadel over two weeks ago.

She squirmed a little, not really sure whether or not Shepard would want her to tell the Admiral about Shepard's personal affairs, but she couldn't really deny the Admiral, either. "She's begun eating on her own and has started to talk a little, but James said she still mostly just sits there staring off into space."

"It sounds like she's making progress, though." He leaned back against a shuttle, giving her a view of several of the buildings being repaired on Rannoch. It looked like the geth were taking the idea of welcoming the quarians back to their homeworld very seriously, they were speeding through the reconstruction incredibly fast. "I'll be making a trip to the Citadel in a couple of weeks. Are they allowing her visitors?"

Tali raised her brow, working hard to keep her tone level when she said, "The Alliance put James in charge of who gets to see her."

 _Is he seriously going to go visit Shepard in the hospital? Keelah._

"James … the human lieutenant?" Admiral Koris scoffed when Tali nodded. "They put her subordinate in charge?" He scoffed again. "Oh, don't narrow your eyes at me, Tali'Zorah. I don't have anything against the lieutenant, he seemed pleasant enough. I'm just surprised, is all."

She lifted her shoulder. "Shepard trusts Councilor Anderson, and he made the decision. She trusts James, too. I think he's a good choice."

He hummed, the sound somewhere between thoughtful and derisive—as only Admiral Koris could make a hum sound. "Why not one of her two lovers? The turian, Garrus Vakarian, or the other, what's his name? The drell?"

"Thane," Tali said, offering Thane the courtesy of not reminding the admiral of his last name.

"Yes, Thane. Why not Garrus or Thane?" He waved his hand. "Surely they are both skilled enough to keep her safe and take the job seriously. I assume it's the whole point of putting someone in place to act as a gatekeeper."

She sighed, annoyed at having to deal with what she came to think of as the admiral's crush on Shepard so early in the morning. "Because they aren't in the Alliance, Admiral."

 _Obviously._

"Yes, of course." He nodded but glanced off to the side, seeming distracted for a moment. "Well, I suppose I'll speak to the lieutenant. Do you have his contact information? I'd like to be able to update Shepard on the progress here, even if she isn't … receptive."

"Oh, uh, sure." Tali ran her fingers over her omni-tool's screen, shifting her view of the admiral so she could access her contacts list. "I'll send you his information now." She hoped James wouldn't mind, but she wasn't going to take the time to ask him and risk him saying no. If it kept the admiral from calling her every few days, she'd willingly risk annoying James.

"Thank you, Tali'Zorah." Admiral Koris pushed away from the skycar. "I do hope you'll be joining us soon. Vast changes have already been made in your absence. Soon, we'll begin moving people into houses and off the ships."

"I'm really excited to see it all." She smiled as a maskless quarian walked past the admiral. "We'll be returning to Rannoch as soon as we can, we've been having some difficulties locating the person we're looking for."

"Mmm, yes. The Illusive Man, so I've been told. Well it's about time someone take care of the nuisance!" He turned his head again when someone called out to him, holding out a hand to tell whomever he'd be just a minute. "Regretfully, I must go. There is so much work here for me to stay on top of. Keelah se'lai, Tali'Zorah."

"Keelah se'lai, Admiral." Tali closed her omni-tool, letting out a relieved sigh. She turned to look at Kal who'd stayed in the corner of the room, undoubtedly avoiding the admiral's sights. She narrowed her gaze at him and said, "Traitor."

Kal laughed, pulling a grin from Tali. He shook his head and said, "You weren't in any danger."

"Just of him talking me back to sleep." She hummed and cocked her head to the side. "It's kind of weird, still saying keelah se'lai, isn't it? I mean, we've not only _seen_ the homeworld but we're in the process of _reinhabiting_ Rannoch."

* * *

"You've been cleared to land, Ms. Lawson." Councilor Anderson nodded his head on the vid screen created by EDI in the comm room. "An Alliance strike team has been assigned to provide you assistance. They'll work cooperatively with the _Normandy_ crew so long as you act within Earth and Council laws. This wasn't easy to pull off without Shepard being with you, but the fact you helped to rescue those taken by the collectors and destroyed the base has won you a few favors. Given Cerberus' history and the list of crimes brought against the Illusive Man with the information Shepard provided me with … the Alliance has approved a 'kill on sight' order. I don't think I need to tell you how rare this is."

"Fuck yeah." Jack smirked, crossing her arms.

Miranda shot Jack a chastising look, earning her a snort from the other woman, before she turned her attention back to the councilor. "Thank you, Councilor Anderson," Miranda said, pushing away from the table.

Tali felt pretty sure Councilor Anderson struggled to not laugh at Jack. The corner of his lip twitched, and he swallowed before clearing his throat a little. He looked back at Miranda and nodded before the call ended, the screen replaced by EDI's hologram. Tali wondered if he visited Shepard often, since he lived on the Citadel. He meant a lot to Shepard, maybe seeing him would help her.

 _Something has to._

"I guess he just answered one of your questions," Kal said, voice just loud enough for Tali to hear as he tucked his hands behind his back.

"EDI, please tell Hanshaw to take us down." Miranda glanced around the room, not quite meeting anyone's gaze. "And pull up the blueprints for Cord-Hislop Aerospace."

"Right away, Miranda," EDI said before her hologram shifted.

A small compound filled the area above the table, showing several buildings, the leading structure at least five stories tall. The other buildings were shorter, but wider, sprawling out and taking up a lot of ground. Miranda reached out, pulling the tall building into view, and the image changed, showing the blueprints for the building. Tali moved a little closer to the image, Kal right behind her, and leaned against the table, waiting to see how Miranda decided to handle the mission.

"With the information Shepard recorded with EDI and the information our new Shadow Broker dug up, I was able to learn a little more about the Illusive Man. His real name is Jack Harper."

"His name is Jack, too?" Lia asked, looking between Miranda and Jack. "Well that's not awkward."

Tali stifled a laugh. It _was_ a little funny in a sad, ironic sort of way, but she didn't dare let her amusement show through with Jack standing just a few feet away. The last thing anyone on the _Normandy_ needed was for Jack to get upset without either Shepard or Garrus around to calm her down.

Jack snorted, crossing her arms over her abdomen. "Doesn't matter what the fuck his name is, he's a dead man either way."

Miranda continued on as if she'd never been interrupted. "He's a former mercenary with a history in the First Contact War, serving under General Williams on Shanxi. Cerberus was his response to the things he saw during and after the war, his reaction to encountering alien life. He later founded Cord-Hislop Aerospace, and he used the business as a cover for early Cerberus activities."

"Get to the point, Barbie," Jack said, rolling her eyes. "Why do you think he's there, and how the fuck do you want us to get in there to kill him?"

Finding the Illusive Man probably meant more to Jack than anyone else on the _Normandy_. When Tali learned Jack's history, it broke her heart. It explained so much about the woman's abrasive personality. No wonder Jack seemed to hate everyone and everything. Even with as bad as she felt for Jack, though, Tali really didn't see how Garrus tolerated being in a relationship with her.

Miranda sighed, the muscles in her jaw twitching. "Jack Harper was very close to two other mercenaries in his group, Ben Hislop and Eva Coré, as you can guess, the company is named after them."

"Still not hearing your point." Jack leaned against the table, lifting an eyebrow.

Tali had to fight back a giggle. Without the only two people on the ship who ever stood any chance of keeping Jack under control around anymore, she'd started to become increasingly antagonistic towards Miranda and everyone else wearing a Cerberus insignia on their clothes. In a way, it made Jack more appealing to Tali. Sure, Miranda wasn't _entirely_ bad, and Shepard obviously trusted her … but even if she wasn't stupid enough to join Cerberus, her personality made Tali want to vomit.

"My point, Jack, is the Illusive Man has ties to this corporation and in some ways, it's a tie back to his old life. He's scared and on the run, it's likely he's returned to somewhere familiar and comforting. He knows we're looking for him, and with EDI unshackled, he knows this is the only place she's not going to have information on." Miranda stepped away from the table and started pacing. "I'm not saying it isn't a gamble, but we can't leave any stone unturned."

"Fine, whatever. So what's your plan?" Jack asked, crossing her arms again.

Jacob nodded, stepping forward when Miranda glanced at him. He took control of the blueprints, zooming in on the front door. "If Miranda's right and the Illusive Man is here, the main entrance and all other exits will probably be guarded." He shifted the image, zeroing in on a back door. "Chances are, if he's inside, he'll be in the lower levels. He's probably had them reinforced as well. This door opens up into a stairwell leading straight to the lower levels. It'll probably be guarded, but with the help of the Alliance strike team, we might be able to divert the guards to the main entrance. Either way, this is the most direct route and will leave us with less to deal with along the way. Still, I'd expect to have to fight getting in and back out again."

"We'll have to take shuttles to rendevouz with the strike team, since we have permission to be here, we have to follow Alliance standard docking procedures." Miranda let out a heavy sigh. "Which also means the Illusive Man will probably be warned the second we dock."

* * *

Tali opened the door to the AI Core, the room feeling even more distant and secluded without Dr. Chakwas filling up the space between Lia's hiding spot and the rest of the ship. Lia and Legion both turned to look at her, moving eerily in sync.

"Creator Zorah." Legion fluttered his optic plates.

"Hello, Legion." Tali stepped into the room, moving to sit on the built-in bench at the back of the core next to her friend. "Lia, EDI said you haven't left the AI core since last night besides for the meeting in the comm room. Are you feeling alright?"

Lia sighed, shoulders slumping. "I'm just worried about Shepard."

"Me, too." Tali leaned against Lia, bumping her arm against the younger quarian's. "But Shepard is strong. She'll pull through this, I know she will."

 _She has to._

"Do you really think so?" Lia turned enough to look at Tali.

"Yeah, I do." Tali smiled, realizing for the first time she really did have faith in Shepard's ability to pull through anything.

"I hope you're right." Lia sighed, folding her hands in her lap. "So, do you think the Illusive Man is really here on Earth?"

Tali shrugged. "I guess there's really only one way for us to find out."

EDI's hologram sprung up and Legion shifted to face it, which Tali found odd, considering he of all … people on the ship understood the hologram wasn't _actually_ EDI, just a visual representation of the other AI. Tali felt pretty sure they didn't even need to vocalize in order to speak to one another. Which still made her a little uneasy, even if she did learn to trust both Legion and EDI.

"Docking procedures are complete. Miranda would like for everyone to meet her in the hangar." EDI's hologram collapsed as soon as she finished speaking.

Lia slid down off the bench and laced her arm through Legion's, and the two of them headed toward the door. She stopped, looking back over her shoulder at Tali. "Are you coming?"

Tali nodded. "Yeah, I just want a minute to talk to EDI. I'll be right there."

"Oh. Okay," Lia said, tugging on Legion.

Legion started walking again, and the door to the AI core slid open.

 _Shepard's right. He is_ so _her AI boyfriend._

Tali waited for them to leave and for the door to close behind them before turning her attention back to the hologram's access point. "EDI?"

The hologram sprang to life again. "Yes, Tali? Is there something I can do for you?"

"No," Tali said, slipping down from the bench to go stand closer to the hologram. She wrung her hands, and then, realizing what she was doing, she stopped and crossed her arms instead. "I just wanted to, you know, check up on you. You've been pretty quiet since—well since everything."

"Since Jeff died and Shepard left." EDI's voice softened, and Tali swore the hologram dimmed a little. "Yes, my positive feedback algorithms appear to be malfunctioning. I ran diagnostics, but all reports indicate I'm functioning at optimal capacity. Legion suggested we network and run a fresh diagnostic scan, but I have declined his offer at this time. If the changes in my behavioral heuristics are causing you and the rest of the crew undue distress, then I will reconsider his offer."

 _Keelah._

"EDI … I don't think there's anything wrong with your programing." Tali reached out, putting a hand against the cool, metal wall next the hologram; EDI once said she received a sort of haptic feedback from sensors within the _Normandy_ , so Tali hoped she took some comfort from the touch. "I think you're starting to experience emotion, and it sounds like you're grieving. You were close to Joker and Shepard, it's normal for you to feel this way. Well, normal for an organic to feel this way, but … you know what I mean."

EDI's hologram hovered above the access node, the lights motionless in the silence for a long minute. "If you are correct, and this is what emotions are like, I'm not sure I want them."

* * *

Tali took Kal's hand, threading her fingers through his as the shuttle made its way to Cord-Hislop Aerospace. The conversation with EDI left her more shaken than she'd have expected. She tried to explain to EDI not all emotions are bad, and even though she knew EDI understood on a fundamental level, she didn't think it changed EDI's mind at all. Tali wished Shepard was there, she'd have known exactly what to say to convince EDI the pain would pass and there were lots of other things in the galaxy able to bring her happiness. Tali felt a little afraid EDI might decide to ferret out the programing responsible for her emotional development and destroy it, and that'd be a very, _very_ bad thing.

She glanced around the shuttle, discomforted by the uneasy silence filling the space. Without Shepard, there wasn't anything to tie the group together. Lia sat next to Legion, of course, engaged in quiet conversation with him, as if no one else existed. Jack sat slouched against the wall, arms crossed, and eyes closed. Grunt stared off into space, looking one part bored and one part pissed off. Miranda's attention seemed glued to her omni-tool, and Jacob's on his feet.

Tali shifted and cleared her throat. "So, what happens after we find the Illusive Man?"

Grunt's giant head swiveled to look at Tali. "We fill him full of holes and take his head to Shepard."

 _Ew. But … Wrex would be proud._

"We are _not_ taking his head to Shepard," Miranda said, glancing up from her omni-tool at Grunt. "The commander is recovering from serious emotional devastation after losing one of her best friends, she doesn't need to be retraumatized." She turned her attention to Tali. "To answer your question, once we've taken care of the Illusive Man, I'm going to return to Cronos Station. EDI seized control over his systems when we were there and issued a command to put all ongoing projects on hold until further notice. I need to sort through all of Cerberus' assets, figure out which projects should be continued and which terminated."

Tali let out a soft snort. "Do you actually think _any_ of Cerberus' projects should be continued?"

"Not everything Cerberus does is as horrible as what you've seen, Tali." Miranda sat back, crossing one long leg over the other. "Cerberus brought Shepard back to life, and before the Lazarus Project, I worked on several entirely ethical projects which have proven to be beneficial for humanity."

"Yeah, like what?" Jack scoffed, eyes still closed.

Miranda glanced at Jack and sucked in a heavy breath. "I ran two successful medical trials—"

"How many people died?" Jack cracked an eye and leveled her gaze at Miranda.

Miranda huffed. "Twenty out of three hundred and fifty-two, but—"

"Uh huh," Jack said, closing her eye again.

" _But_ , they died because of their illnesses, _not_ because of the trials." Miranda cocked her eyebrow, still staring at Jack. "Meaning the trials saved three hundred and thirty-two."

"What illnesses did they have?" Tali asked, wriggling in her seat with the uncomfortable shift of the atmosphere.

"I'm sorry, I can't say." Miranda shook her head. "Doing so could potentially divulge the protected health information of those involved in the trials."

Jack snorted. "Right."

Miranda rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to Tali. "Anyway, the point is, some of the projects Cerberus has going on might do more harm than good to blindly shut down."

Tali considered what Miranda said as the silence surrounded them once again. It certainly helped her to understand a little better how some of the people who worked for Cerberus actually seemed like decent people. Like Yeoman Chambers. Tali really liked Kelly. She seemed sweet, but Tali never understood how the woman could possibly be involved in something as evil as Cerberus. And although Ken from engineering sometimes got on Tali's nerves, he really knew his stuff, and with Gabby there to tell him when he needed to shut up, it wasn't so bad. Though sometimes Tali thought Gabby really should back off of Ken some, she barely let the man speak two words when she was around. But they were good people. Maybe, with Miranda running things, there was hope for Cerberus after all.

* * *

Tali tightened her grip on her shotgun and glanced at Kal. He nodded to her, checking his heat sink. They all crowded in, gathered around the back door. They were waiting for the Alliance's signal; the strike team was going in the front. They'd already encountered Cerberus resistance. Their shuttles were attacked the second they crossed into the compound. The Alliance strike team showed up seconds later, helping them to break through Cerberus' defenses. If it turned out the Illusive Man wasn't inside, Tali would be truly surprised. They didn't encounter so much resistance anywhere else they looked, not even the Cronos Station.

Miranda tilted her head and brought her hand up to her comm. "Copy that." She turned and looked at Legion, nodding her head. "Get us inside, Legion."

He swung his head around and began interfacing with the lock. It took him longer than expected to break through the encryption, which Tali supposed really shouldn't be a surprise. It _was_ Cerberus after all, and if after bringing Shepard back from the dead they couldn't handle properly encrypting a lock, well then Tali didn't want to live in the galaxy anymore. The door slid opened and Grunt shoved his way inside, assault rifle lowered and already firing.

Jack went in right behind him, biotics twisting and turning around her body. Legion followed her, and Lia moved in after him. Tali stepped in on Lia's flank, lowering her shotgun at the closest commando wearing Cerberus armor and squeezed the trigger. The blast hit him low, throwing off his center of gravity, sending him tumbling backwards down the stairs, crashing into several other troopers blocking their path.

Grunt pushed forward, claiming the ground Cerberus lost. Kal moved in, positioning himself at the bottom of the stairs leading up, the sharp bark of his assault rifle filling the air. Miranda's biotics ripped a commando off his feet, slamming him into the top of the stairwell before he crashed back down into his allies. The plan was for Tali, Kal, Legion, and Lia to hold their positions, covering their retreat and keeping more Cerberus troops from moving down the stairs after Miranda's team. The Alliance strike team would clear the ground floor, which should take the heat off of Tali and the others, before moving to the upper floors to secure the building and check for civilians. Hopefully it didn't blow up in their faces. Tali _really_ wished Shepard was there.

The flow of Cerberus fighters coming at them from above slowed to a trickle, which hopefully meant the Alliance handled things up front. Miranda and the others had already pushed down to the next landing, only Jacob remained in sight, but Tali still heard the sounds of battle below. Legion scrambled the lock on the door leading from the stairs to the main floor, and for a few seconds, troops tried to hack their way through, but they stopped pretty quickly, probably to fight the Alliance. Everything was going good.

But then it wasn't.

A flashbang dropped down from the next floor, instantly blinding Tali despite her darkened mask and leaving an uncomfortable ringing in her ears. Kal barked an order, but she couldn't make out what he said. Something slammed into her chest, catching the left side of her ribcage, knocking her off her feet, and she hit the floor. A moment later, it felt like she caught on fire. Her lungs ached, and she couldn't draw in a breath. The ringing started to fade, the rushing sounds of an ocean filling her ears instead. It wasn't until Legion appeared over her, reaching down and wrapping his hand around her wrist before dragging her back behind the stairwell wall, did she realize the noise came from her suit's breach seals activating and flooding her system with Medi-gel and antibiotics.

"Tali!" Kal's panicked yell reached her over the sounds of gunfire, and she coughed.

"Creator Zorah, you have been shot. Please remain behind cover." Legion turned, lifting his assault rifle.

She groaned, sucking in a deep breath and pulled her shotgun into her lap. Glancing down at her chest, it surprised her to see only a small tear in her suit, and she realized—by some miracle—she'd only been hit with a Concussive Shot. Still, it probably bruised her ribs, if not broke a couple. Tears bit at her eyes, and she wished, for the hundredth time that day alone, Shepard was there.

 _Keelah, Shepard. I need you._

She glanced around the edge of the wall, dragging herself back to her feet, and caught sight of a _very_ feminine form … wielding a _sword_? The woman spun and flipped across the landing, sword arching through the air and pushing Kal back. He kept firing, but the couple of shots that hit the agile target were deflected by her barriers. Kal was running out of room, and Legion and Lia were preoccupied. That left Tali.

She lifted her shotgun, waiting until the woman came to a stop, crouched low in front of Kal, and pulled her sword back, ready to run him through. Tali activated the Carnage ability Kal taught her and rounded the corner, ramming her shotgun right into the woman's helmet and pulled the trigger. The blast ripped right through the armor, leaving the sword-wielding maniac's head a flaming, pulpy mess. The woman collapsed, falling to the side.

"Bosh'tet," Tali said, kicking the sword away before lifting a foot to push the woman over to her back, just to be sure she was really dead.

Kal's arm wrapped around her, pulling her into his side. "Keelah, I love you."


	88. Thane

**Thane**

Shepard came out of the bathroom carrying her hairbrush and handed it to Thane. He glanced down at it, confusion tugging his brow ridges up until she folded herself down on the floor at his feet. He chuckled, pushing himself to the edge of the chair, positioning his knees on either side of her shoulders. Turning the brush over in his hand, he adjusted his grip. He'd seen her do this herself at least a dozen times, seen other humans brush their own hair, as well, but he'd never done it for her. He gathered her hair into his other hand and started at the bottom—as he'd seen her do after her showers—running the brush through the still damp strands, watchful for tangles in her hair.

"How are you, siha?" he asked, wondering if it'd be a day she'd talk. It'd been a couple of days since he last saw her, and the last time he was there, she spent the majority of of their visit holding Joker's hat and staring out the window in silence.

"We're hungry," she said.

"I'm making you lunch right now, Ídola," James called from the kitchen area. "Thane, you hungry?"

Thane glanced over his shoulder to see James watching them as he dished food from a pan out on plates. "No, thank you."

"You sure? There's plenty." James lifted one of his eyebrows.

"I ate before I came. I appreciate the offer, though." Thane turned his attention back to Shepard's hair when she squirmed between his legs and huffed. He ran the brush through her hair, moving up inch by inch as he worked. "I spoke with Kolyat today. I regret now I didn't tell him sooner, but he now knows my heart belongs to you, siha."

She twisted, looking up at him and whispered, "The reapers will kill everyone on the Citadel when they move it to Earth's orbit. You should tell Kolyat to leave before they arrive."

Thane froze, the implications of her words clenching a fist around his heart. She'd told him before Kolyat stayed on the Citadel in her other lives, working with C-Sec to pay for his crimes of shooting Talid's bodyguard and nearly killing Talid himself. She was telling him if Kolyat stayed on the Citadel, he'd die.

Thane forced his lungs to fill with air and slowly brought the brush back to her hair when she turned around again. "Siha … Kolyat is on Kahje, remember? You went with me to take him there, we left him with his uncle. You shared wine with The Unwed, and then you and I drank tea at a café on the second level."

She remained quiet for a long moment before she nodded her head. "Kolyat's on Kahje, we remember."

James walked into the living room, carrying a plate in each hand. He sat them down on the coffee table and looked at Shepard. "You ready to eat, Ídola? I made stir fry."

"Lola," she said.

James shrugged. "Uh, okay. You ready to eat, Lola?"

Shepard gave him a shake of her head, pulling strands of her hair free from Thane's hand. "We're not hungry."

"A moment ago, you said you were," Thane said, finishing up her hair and setting the brush down on a table next to his chair. "James prepared you lunch, you should eat."

She turned to look at him over her shoulder again. "Jane wants to talk to you."

Thane's brow twitched, tilting his head to the side, and he saw James freeze halfway to sitting on the couch. If he wasn't mistaken, it was the first time Shepard acknowledged Jane since she returned from the collector base and found Joker had been killed in her absence. Dr. Chakwas hoped Shepard would not only confirm Jane remained intact, but give Jane the opportunity to speak. They all prayed the other woman might be able to provide deeper insight into Shepard's mental status.

"Siha," Thane said, brushing hair back out of her face, "you have control now over when Jane is allowed to come forward. Miranda put in a new implant to help regulate your brain activity and now Jane can only come forward if you choose for her to, remember?"

Thane held her gaze as she watched him in silence, but he saw James opening his omni-tool, undoubtedly sending Dr. Chakwas a message.

After a moment, Shepard's brow furrowed. "We remember, but we don't know how."

He wasn't really sure what to tell her, all he knew was she now possessed the capability to control Jane's access, and in an emergency, should she lose consciousness as she did in Tiberius Towers, Jane might assume control in order to protect her from harm.

"Jane says we need to go all the way back inside for her to come out." The statement, something which would've once caused terror to flit across her gaze, somehow left her without expression.

He stroked her cheek, savoring the feel of her soft skin beneath his fingers. "Can you … can you do that? Go all the way back inside, so Jane can come out?"

Shepard closed her eyes and slumped over, but he darted forward to catch her as she fell against his thigh and started to slip to the floor. A moment later she opened her eyes again, appearing far more coherent than she had since it all began. She blinked, letting out a small squeak before, sucking in a deep breath and grinning.

"Jane?" He kept his arms around her as she steadied herself, helping her to her feet when she started to push up from the floor.

"Thank God it worked." She threw her arms around Thane's neck and pressed a loud kiss to his cheek, surprising him.

He chuckled pulling back from her, hands on her shoulders holding her at arm's length to look her over. "We weren't sure if you were …."

"Still here?" She arched an eyebrow, bouncing a little on the balls of her feet. "Yep. You guys aren't getting rid of me so easily."

James laughed, standing up from the couch and moving around to Jane's side. "Hey, Lola, long time no see." He opened his arms to her when she moved to embrace him, and he hugged her tight enough to lift her off her feet for a few seconds, earning him a laugh in return.

"I don't know how long they'll let me stay here," she said when James put her back down, "so let me say what needs to be said before they pull me back inside."

Hearing even Jane refer to Shepard as 'they' created a new fissure in Thane's heart. Clearly, as he'd suspected, there something more happened within her than a simple mental health issue. He prayed to Arashu it turned out to beneficial in the end. He'd spent much time since he first met Shepard considering her circumstances, what it might mean. Of course, when they first met, he thought her simply insane or incredibly clever. When she first told him of her story, he naturally felt skeptical. As he came to believe her, came to know her … he began to anticipate a time when the delicate balance she kept between herself and the others would falter, and it'd all collapse in on her. The initial stage of the collapse, he believed, occured the first time Jane managed to take control. He only hoped the reforging, so to speak, gave her new strength as opposed to leaving her a twisted heap of slag.

Jane turned to the table, picking up the plate of food James sat there for Shepard and took a seat on the couch. She stuffed a forkful of what looked like a mixture of some grain, meat, and vegetables into her mouth and moaned, eyelids fluttering closed. She opened her eyes again and glanced up at James, talking around her mouthful of food, she said, "This is fantastic."

James laughed, picking up his own plate and sitting down next to her. "I'm glad you like it."

"Jane, what can you tell us?" Pushing the tails of his jacket out of the way, Thane retook his seat and rested his hands on his knees. As pleased as he felt for the opportunity to learn more about what his siha struggled with, Jane's history of erratic, violent behavior kept him perched on the edge of his chair, ready to subdue her should the need arise.

Jane swallowed and stuffed another bite into her mouth. "Dawn's not … _just_ Dawn anymore. I don't really know how to explain it, but she absorbed a lot more of us when she broke down, and now it's like her thoughts aren't her own." She took a minute to chew and swallow. "All the others she's taken in are there with her now, a part of her, but different from how me and everyone else are. All of their memories, thoughts, emotions, wants, and needs … they're all a part of her." She turned to James and asked, "Do me a favor and grab me something to drink?"

"Sure, no hay problema." He put his plate down and went into the kitchen again.

She glanced at Thane. "When she's talking, when it seems like she's confused or forgetting something …."

"It's not Dawn speaking." He sucked in a slow, painful breath, fighting the urge to rub at the ache. He feared for his siha, feared the depth of the trials she must endure, and wished he could be her champion, take them on for her instead.

"It's not _just_ Dawn speaking." Jane scooped up more stir fry and then stopped with her fork just in front of her mouth. "She's still there, just not a separate, unique entity anymore. They're all sort of starting to blend together."

 _Arashu grant her the strength to survive._

"Are you saying she's like Legion now?" James came back carrying three bottles of water and handed one to Thane before giving another to Jane.

"Thank you," Thane said, setting the bottle down on the table next to Shepard's hairbrush.

"Yeah … I guess that's a pretty close comparison." Jane opened the bottle of water and took a heavy swallow. "But what comes out of her mouth and what she does isn't always a matter of consensus, sometimes it just seems to randomly come from one of the others, like … their thoughts happen a fraction of a second faster than the others, so they get control for a moment." She sat the bottle down on the table and resumed eating.

A knock on the door drew everyone's attention, and James put his plate down. He made his way to the door and opened it, letting Dr. Chakwas in. They spoke in hushed tones over by the door for a second before Dr. Chakwas looked up and smiled at Jane.

The doctor rushed over, taking James' seat on the couch. "Jane, hello dear. I need to run scans on the implant, now that Shepard's allowed you access. I need to be sure it's operating the way Miranda intended."

Jane stuffed more food in her mouth, smiling around her fork at the woman and nodded. Dr. Chakwas opened her omni-tool and began scanning.

* * *

Jane moved up to stand by Thane's side as James walked Dr. Chakwas out of the suite. Thane glanced at her, feeling her gaze on him. She smiled at him, and then surprised him by taking his hand in hers. He hesitated as she tugged at him, his thoughts and feelings torn and confused.

He'd told Jane once he thought she and the others were disconnected, and indeed he did, seeing them and Dawn as parts of a whole in need of a reunion. Yet their distinct personalities, hopes and dreams, the different ways they fostered relationships and even whom they fostered relationships with made Jane a very different person than the one he came to love. He loved Jane, too, in a way. Without her, Shepard wouldn't be the woman she was, wouldn't be _his_ siha. He put his faith in the gods, trusted in their judgements and their will, but with as much faith as he carried within him, it clearly wasn't enough to stop his mortal mind from struggling to put everything into familiar terms.

He relented, letting her lead him over to the couch and sat down at her urging.

She sat down next to him, far closer than he anticipated. "Do you trust me?"

"I—I believe you have been making genuine efforts to repair the damage you have done." Her question shamed him, knowing he could not honestly say he trusted her, as much as he might wish to. It wasn't without reason, however, and he believed she understood his hesitancy.

She snorted softly. "Uh huh. I need you to extend your trust to me for just a few seconds, okay? There's something important I need to do."

Thane blinked, gaze searching her face for any sign of her intentions or deceit. "Very well."

She pulled one of her legs up onto the couch, pushing her knee into the cushion as she moved closer to him, and he froze, staying very, very still as she brought her face nearer to his. She raised a hand, her soft fingers pressing against his chin, turning his face away from her as she leaned in closer.

Lips all but brushing across his scales, she whispered in his ear, voice undoubtedly as soft as any human could make it. "The Intelligence, the AI controlling the reapers, is housed somewhere on the Citadel. We can't be sure, of course, but a startling thought has occurred to Dawn and the others …. What if it's monitoring us somehow? Watching, listening, reading electronic communications? Some of the things we've already talked about while visiting the Citadel, and some of the things they've said since all this happened …. There are things too important to _not_ discuss, regardless, but we already know we have Harbinger's attention." She pulled away, sitting back on the couch to look at him, the trace of raw fear in her eyes testing his resolve.

If she proved correct, and the Intelligence actively monitored them, then the Citadel was quite possibly the most dangerous place for Shepard to be while in such a vulnerable state. Undoubtedly, there were hundreds if not thousands or more indoctrinated people on the Citadel. Perhaps even some working in The Pearson Sisters' Sanctuary. The Intelligence may know about Jane and the others, know Shepard was something _more_ than just a mere human. It may know she found a way to defeat the reapers.

"That is … a disturbing possibility." He reached out and covered her hand resting on her knee with his own, giving in the urge to offer her some expression of solidarity and comfort. "I will speak with Garrus, discreetly, we will look into this."

She turned her hand beneath his and squeezed his fingers. "Be careful." Letting go again, she gave him a sardonic smile. "Dawn will come after me next if anything happens to either one of you."

He chuckled, pulling his hand back to his lap. "You seemed to believe the others are happier now, joined with her in this way. You don't want that for yourself?"

"God, no." Jane shuddered. "They're losing their sense of self. _Dawn's_ losing her sense of self. Besides, there's still hundreds of us left inside, someone has to keep them in check."

* * *

Thane waited for Garrus inside his small, open-floor, spartan apartment. Thane sent Garrus a message when he arrived and found the turian wasn't home, and thankfully, Garrus gave him permission to let himself in to wait. He paced the floors, stopping to look at a photograph of Shepard and Garrus aboard what must've been the old _Normandy_. There were few other photographs, but only one other drew his interest. It was a picture of what looked like Garrus as a young man with his family—his mother and sister, at least. Garrus' father didn't appear in the photograph, which Thane didn't find surprising having learned Castis Vakarian also worked with C-Sec and spent the majority of his time on the Citadel while his wife and children remained on Palaven. Garrus never really spoke much about his mother and sister, at least not in Thane's presence, though he knew the family's matriarch developed Corpalis Syndrome.

The door slid open, and Thane turned to watch Garrus come inside. It pleased him to see Garrus moved more steadily than the last time he saw the turian. He'd even resumed wearing his armor. He spotted Thane instantly and flashed him a strained smile, mandibles fluttering.

"Give me a minute, I have to get this armor off, it's killing me," Garrus said as soon as the door closed behind him, and he moved to a locker next to the door.

"Of course." Thane moved closer, holding his hand out in offering. "Allow me to assist."

Garrus chuffed, an annoyed sound, but nodded his head nevertheless. "Alright."

Thane knelt before him, working to relieve him of his greaves while he worked on his breastplate. Together, they removed Garrus' armor in silence, stacking it in the locker. When the last piece was inside, Garrus closed the locker and turned to look at Thane, mandibles flaring before fluttering.

Thane tucked his hands behind his back. "I've just come from visiting Shepard."

"How is she? I plan on going here in a few hours." Garrus waved at the couch and started walking over. "I'm going to stop by one of the restaurants she likes and bring her dinner." He sat, humming. "I suppose I'll get James something, too."

Thane followed him, grateful for the offer, and took a seat. "Ah, when I left, Jane was still present."

"Jane?" Garrus asked, mandibles flaring wide. "Jane's in control?"

"Indeed." Thane dipped his head. "Shepard informed me that Jane wished to speak with me, and I reminded her she had control over when Jane could come forward. It took her a moment, but she figured out, with Jane's help, how to allow the transfer of control."

"That's good, I suppose. And Jane's okay? She's not …." Garrus trailed off, as if it frightened him to give voice to the hope filling his eyes.

Thane offered him an understanding smile. "She seems of sound mind, yes."

Garrus let out a heavy sigh. "Good. So, what did she tell you?"

Thane leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands. "Shepard has … taken in a significant number of the others, and now they are … I suppose you might call it merging with her."

"Merging with her?" Garrus shifted on the couch to face Thane more fully, brow ridges pulled low. "What do you mean?"

"Shepard—Dawn—is no longer an individual separate from those she has absorbed. Jane described a blending of their psyches, their thoughts and emotions are no longer well defined as coming from an individual. It is why she has been using terms of plurality when speaking of herself."

"Spirits." Garrus rubbed his forehead. "Is this … how long will this last?"

"Dr. Chakwas doesn't know if it will be temporary or a permanent situation." Thane took a deep breath, meeting his gaze. "I'm sorry, Garrus. This must be difficult for you to hear."

Garrus chuffed, pushing himself to his feet to pace the floor, throwing his hand out toward Thane in clear irritation. "It's _not_ for you?"

"I … I have come to view the others as parts of a whole, Dawn as part of a whole. When I gave my heart to her, I gave it to all of her." Swallowing, he took a moment to order his thoughts, wary of how his views might impact Garrus. "It pains me to see her suffer, to see any of them suffer, but perhaps this will prove to be a positive thing, perhaps she is making herself whole once more. I suspect for you, however, it may feel more like losing her completely."

Garrus let out a derisive huff and shook his head, stopping to stare at Thane. "You think this is a _good_ thing?"

Thane took a moment to answer, choosing his words carefully. "I pray it's a good thing."

Garrus huffed again, moving to a chair to sit down. "She's still in there. I'm not giving up on her. I'll find a way to help her, dig her back out."

"And if you can't?" Thane asked, keeping his voice soft.

Garrus let out a low, threatening growl.

"I don't ask to antagonize you, Garrus." Thane shook his head. "I've come to care about you, and I love Shepard. I wish for you both to be happy." He turned his palms up, holding them out in supplication, asking the man to be patient with him. "So I ask, what will you do if she is not able to be separated from the others ever again? Will you find a way to open your heart to who she is becoming, or will you turn away? I have no doubts she will continue to love you and want you to be a part of her life."

Garrus' shoulders slumped, head hanging, mandibles making a sort of gentle, helpless flutter. "I don't know, Thane. I already lost her once, and it about killed me. I just … I don't know."

Thane let Garrus' words hang, filling the air between them, weighing heavily on both their hearts for a long moment before he said, "Humans have a saying, tomorrow is promised to no one. I have spent years knowing I am dying. I can only pray you and she will have many, many years together after I have gone to the sea." He held up a hand, silencing the other man when he opened his mouth as if to speak. "She is not yet dead, Garrus, but tomorrow is promised to no one. You may lose her again, I hope this is not the case, but for now, she still draws breath, and so long as she still draws breath, no matter if she is one or one thousand, she will love you. Love her, Garrus."

Thane fell silent once more, letting the keen tearing through Garrus wrap its mournful hand around his soul. Garrus' struggle to fight back the emotion, to silence his grief, was obvious. Thane pushed himself to his feet, moving to stand next to the turian and settled a hand down on his shoulder, fully expecting Garrus to shove the hand aside, but he never did. Thane stayed there, offering Garrus his support the only way he knew how, until Garrus' keening subsided.

After a moment of silence, Thane said, "There is something else." He produced a piece of paper from his pocket—after the extreems Jane went to, whispering her fears into his ear, he thought it might be best to communicate her message to Garrus in a way he hoped to be more difficult for The Intelligence to pick up on. He'd stopped by one of the novelty stores on his way to Garrus' apartment and purchased a pen and actual paper, not wanting to risk even writing the message down on a datapad.

He passed the paper to Garrus, dipping his head at the folded note when Garrus gave him a confused look. Garrus opened the note, and almost immediately, he tensed, balling the paper up in his fist. Humming, he stood and crossed over to the small, open kitchen area and tore the note up before tossing it in the trash. Turning back around he met Thane's gaze, and it was the cold, serious look of a man who'd pulled his battle sleep around him once more.

Garrus flicked his mandibles. "If you're not busy tomorrow, I was thinking about making a run to see Grundan Krul. You should come with me."

Thane raised a brow ridge, obviously Garrus wished to convey something to him in private, away from the Citadel. He just wasn't sure whether or not Garrus truly meant to go all the way to Hagalaz. "Indeed?"

"Yeah, I have some things I need to run by him." Garrus fluttered his mandibles. "And I think we could both use a change of scenery for a day or two."

"Very well." Thane dipped his head. "If you wish, I will accompany you back to The Pearson Sisters' Sanctuary this evening."

Garrus seemed to consider the offer for a moment before nodding. "I think she'd like that, to have us both there for a little while."

"Indeed." Thane smiled.

* * *

He shifted the bags in his hands and knocked on the door. Despite holding himself straight, it seemed clear Garrus suffered under the weight of his armor once more. Still, Thane understood his desire to wear the armor while outside of his home—the tension on the Citadel remained at a stand still, making it a dangerous place for any turian.

James opened the door, reaching for the bags Garrus held. "Dios, I'm glad you're here," he said, voice low. "She's getting irritable. She wants to leave and doesn't understand why she can't."

Thane stepped into the suite after Garrus, making sure the door shut behind him. "Jane has gone back inside?"

"Yeah," James said, glancing over his shoulder at Thane as he made his way towards the kitchen, "Ídola yanked her chain right after you left. It was kinda scary, she just dropped like a ton of bricks, nearly hit her head on the corner of the coffee table."

"Garrus," Shepard said, coming out of her bedroom. She made her way straight to him and took his hand in hers, looking up into his eyes. "We want to go." She tugged on his hand, as if she expected him to heed her request and lead her from the hospital—indeed, Thane supposed she did, after all, she was Commander Shepard, and Garrus her true second in command. "We need to leave the Citadel, there's things we need to do."

Garrus fluttered his mandibles. "Where do you want to go?"

Thane sat his bags down on the counter next to James and turned, tucking his hands behind his back to watch Garrus and Shepard.

She sighed, her brow furrowing. "Away from here," she said, voice pleading, on the verge of a whine. Tears welled up in her eyes. "We have to go."

Garrus hummed, lifting his free hand to wipe the tears off her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Dawn. Anderson's the only one who can decide when you leave."

She let out a soft whimper and leaned forward, pressing her forehead against his breastplate. "Anderson won't let us leave."

He put his arm around her, pulling her in closer. "I'm sorry." Bending a little, he pressed his mouth against the top of her head.

"Hey, Ídola, Garrus and Thane brought us dinner," James said without so much as glancing in their direction, unfortunate, because Thane felt certain James wouldn't have dared to interrupt the tender moment they shared. "You hungry?"

She looked up, and just like that, the emotions were gone from her face. She pulled away from Garrus without a second look, her gaze barely flicking over Thane as she passed by him to look into the bags.

Thane stepped aside, moving to Garrus and patting the deflated looking turian on the shoulder. "Come, I'll help you out of your armor."

"Hey, you can stash it in my room if you want." James finally turned to look at Garrus. "She's, uh, she's been throwing things around in her room."

"Thank you, James." Thane guided Garrus towards James' bedroom, closing the door behind them. "If you wished to speak with Jane, you might have luck asking Shepard to allow Jane to come back out once she's calmed down."

"Maybe." Garrus shirked off his breastplate after Thane finished with the seals.

Thane set the piece of armor on James' bed and started to reach for the next latch when he heard Shepard's frustrated yell and the sound of breaking glass. Both he and Garrus rushed for the door. When the door slid open, Thane stopped in his tracks, seeing Shepard curled in on herself, leaning against the wall crying while James nursed a gash in his forehead.

Thane glanced at Garrus and nodded his head towards Shepard. "I'll help James."

Garrus' mandibles fluttered, and he nodded, making his way to her.

"Where's the first aid kit?" Thane crossed the floor to James, looking over the cut stretching from just over his left eyebrow to his hairline, angled toward the back of his head, when James pulled the towel away from his face.

"There's one under the kitchen sink and one in the bathroom." James moved to sit down at the breakfast bar.

Thane went to retrieve the first aid kit and grabbed another clean towel off the stack next to the sink, wetting it under the faucet. He returned to James and opened the first aid kit, taking out the spray antiseptic, luckily whoever stocked the kit chose a brand which included a coagulant. Head wounds tended to bleed rather profusely. "Are you experiencing any symptoms of a concussion? Should I call Dr. Chakwas?"

"No, don't bother the doc." James pulled the towel away again, letting Thane spray the antiseptic over the wound. "Damn, she got me good."

Thane glanced over to where Garrus sat next to Shepard, his arm around her as she leaned into his side, face hidden against his chest. He kept his head down, talking softly to her. Thane turned his attention back to James and began cleaning the surrounding area of blood with the wet towel, giving the coagulant a chance to completely stem the flow. Setting the towel aside, he opened the Medi-gel and used one of the swabs in the kit to smear the substance over the cut little by little, as he used his other hand to pinch the skin closed to speed healing and reduce scarring. Once the Medi-gel set, Thane gathered up the supplies and returned them to the cabinet beneath the sink before washing his hands. James took the bloody towels and made his way to the bathroom.

When he turned back around, Thane saw Shepard moved into Garrus' lap, her face buried in the dip of his cowl. Thane smiled when Garrus met his gaze, and Garrus flicked a mandible in response. Thane found cleanser beneath the sink and used it to wipe down the countertop of the breakfast bar, before working on the trail of blood left across the floor, and cleaned up the broken glass.

James came back out of the bathroom, all traces of blood gone from his skin. The easy smile so common on the man's face disappeared, in its place, his lips were pressed into a tight line. He made his way back to the cartons of take out Garrus purchased on their way to The Pearson Sisters' Sanctuary.

Thane went to help him, pulling plates down from the cabinet after washing his hands once more. "James … I will spend the night here if you need to take the night off. Perhaps Garrus would be willing to stay, too. You've been here non-stop, this must be wearing on you."

James let out a heavy sigh and pressed his palms into the counter, hanging his head. "I just hate seeing her like this, you know?"

"Indeed."

"I mean … I don't expect her to just snap back or whatever. Dios, I don't even care about this," Jame said, pointing at his freshly sealed injury. "She's just so frustrated right now, so lost. It makes me feel helpless."

"I believe your being here with her has helped her immensely, but you need to care for yourself, too." Thane turned to face the man. "Go. Eat first if you'd like, but then leave, even if just for a few hours. Relax, find something fun and entertaining to do."

James sucked in a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah, okay. A few hours. I'll stick around and eat, make sure she knows I'm not angry with her before I head out."

"That's kind of you." Thane pulled the cartons over to him, making sure to keep Garrus' separate. "Why don't you go sit down, I'll handle this."

* * *

Thane washed and put away the dishes while Garrus and Shepard sat on the couch together watching an action vid. He dried his hands and wiped off the counter before draping the towel over the edge of the sink and made his way back to the living room area. Shepard glanced up, her gaze tracking him as he moved, and she smiled. Returning her smile, he sat down on her other side.

The movie came to an end, credits rolling over the screen, and Garrus leaned forward, picking up the remote and turning the vid screen off. He shifted on the couch to face Shepard, taking her hand in his. "Dawn … Shepard, do you think you can let me talk with Jane for a little while?"

"Okay." Shepard closed her eyes and slumped over, falling against Thane. A moment later she opened her eyes again and sat up, blinking as she glanced between Garrus and him. "Twice in one day? Careful guys, I might get used to this."

"Jane?" Garrus flared his mandibles.

"Hey, Garrus. It's good to see you." She offered him a grin and then glanced at Thane before turning her head back to look at Garrus. "I'm guessing Thane filled you in on everything already, so what's up? Not that I'm not delighted we're on speaking terms again."

Garrus chuffed a weak laugh and nodded. "We talked. We're going to go see Grundan Krul tomorrow, look into some things."

Jane nodded. "Good. Tell him I said hello."

Garrus chuckled. "I hope, besides for this other thing you talked to Thane about, you might have some insight. Something I can tell Grundan Krul to start looking into, hmmm, to get ready for the war."

Jane sat back against the couch and brought an ankle up to rest on her knee, threading her fingers together to rest over her abdomen. "Hmmm. Well, Ambassador Udina may have ties to Cerberus. If Anderson gives up his position on the Council to fight in the war, Udina stands to replace him. It'd probably be a good idea, even with Miranda poised to take over Cerberus, for Udina to not be allowed into such a position of power. God only knows who else he's got dealings with."

"I never liked Udina." Humming, Garrus nodded, and Jane snorted. "I'll have Grundan Krul look into him, see if there's something we can use to discredit him enough that the Council would never let him join. Maybe even make him lose his position as an ambassador."

"Good idea." Jane sucked on her teeth. "Dawn had some groups of krogan promise to back her when the reapers arrive, maybe you can touch base with Wrex, see where the krogan stand. Kirrahe and some of the STG also offered their support. You could have Grundan Krul reach out, see what progress they're making. If they won't talk to him, you may need to contact them yourself. Or ask Mordin."

"Not a problem." Garrus shrugged. "I'm sure we'll get something figured out. Anything else?"

"Admiral Daro'Xen made a targeting laser before out of geth tech, let's us sync up the entire Flotilla and the _Normandy's_ weapons to hit whatever target the user paints—even from orbit. It'd be a significant help. Figure out if it's something she's still working on now they're resettling Rannoch, if not, take it to Legion. And see what we can find on what the other races are doing to prepare. Sparatus came by a few days ago, he's making headway on The Dissension, and he mentioned preparing the turians for war, but he didn't elaborate on it really."

"I've spoken with a few hanar diplomats," Thane said, drawing Jane's attention to him. "The hanar are upgrading Kahje's planetary defense systems and have a meeting scheduled with Anderson in a week to discuss how they can assist more directly. They've agreed to send drell task forces to the front lines—or wherever they can best serve—when the reapers arrive."

Jane reached over and patted his hand, leaving it on top of his. "Thank you." She glanced at Garrus before turning her gaze back to him. "Both of you. For taking on all of this while we're stuck in here."

"Of course, siha." Thane placed his free hand on top of hers, squeezing her fingers.

Jane seemed taken aback, blinking her eyes rapidly for a moment. "You called me 'siha.'"

"Indeed. Does this bother you?" Thane lifted a brow ridge. "I was under the impression it is a term I often used with you."

She smiled. " _Bother_ me, no. Just surprised me a little."

Thane chuckled, letting go of her hand. "How else may we assist?"

"Hmm." Jane pursed her lips, pulling her hand back to lace her fingers over her abdomen once more. "Once Miranda is in place and Cerberus is under control, you can have Grundan Krul start looking for Javik on Eden Prime. Dawn gave EDI the rough location, if you contact her, she can pass it on to Grundan Krul. But make sure no one tries to open Javik's stasis pod, they'll risk killing him, and I'll be exceptionally pissed. I know how to get it open—most of us do." She turned a litte, her attention zeroing in on Garrus completely. "Garrus … when the reapers get here, you've got to get us out of this place, it doesn't matter what condition Dawn is in. We belong on the _Normandy_ getting shit done, and I think Dawn and the others will do what needs to be done when things are put back into motion."

Garrus met Thane's gaze, and Thane dipped his head. Garrus hummed and nodded. "I don't think Anderson will have any problem with it, but if he does … we'll make sure you're released, one way or another."


	89. Jack

**Jack**

Adrenaline coursing through her veins, bringing on an euphoric rush, memories of narcotics flooding her system, Jack flared her biotics, using them to rip the door right off the retracting mechanism and flung it aside.

 _Pathetic sonofabitch thinks he can hide? Nah, fuck that. His ass is mine._

She stepped through the door, feeling Grunt press in behind her, rushing her when she wanted to take her time. Savor the moment, savor the kill. She growled, snarling at him over her shoulder before turning her attention to the man standing behind a desk, back to her as he looked at a holographic screen flashing the words 'message sent'.

"I'm disappointed in you, Miranda." The Illusive Man turned around, taking a drag of his cigarette, smoke coiling up into the air around him.

Jack snorted, glancing over at the life-sized Barbie, makeup and hair no longer picture-perfect, blood smeared over her catsuit. She turned her attention back to the Illusive Man. "I'm pretty damn sure she doesn't really give a fuck what you think. So, how's this gonna go? You done running and hiding like a little bitch?"

"Ah. Subject Zero. I see your time with Shepard has done little to curb—"

Jack lashed out, using her biotics to pick up the desk and Pull it across the room, sending it crashing into the wall a few feet from the door. "Don't call me that."

"—your abrasive personality, or your aggression, I see," he continued, as if her display of power was nothing more than a minute nuisance. He turned his attention back to Miranda. "You brought the Alliance with you. Do you really believe they'll allow you to step in and fill my shoes? Come on, Miranda, I thought you were smarter than that. We both know as soon as I'm dead, they'll turn their strike team on you." He glanced at Jacob. "You, too."

"If you think you can talk your way out of this, you're sorely mistaken." Miranda leveled her pistol at the man, flaring with biotic energy.

The Illusive Man took a heavy drag of his cigarette and glanced up towards the ceiling behind the group. "Kill them, and then help the reinforcements take care of the Alliance."

Jack spun, pulling her biotics up around her just in time to see a crazy ass looking half-human half-robot man drop down from a balcony. "You." She remembered the motherfucker and his stupid ass sword.

She hit him with a Pull, but all it seemed to do was throw off his trajectory as he swung his sword around behind him, landing on the ground with a Nova blast as he slammed his fist into the tiles, shattering several of them. Glancing over her shoulder, Jack growled, seeing the Illusive Man heading for a side door. Her jaw clenched hard enough to ache, she looked at Kai Leng, wanting to kill his ass almost as much as the Illusive Man. _Almost_. Turning on her heel, she chased after the Illusive Man. Barbie and the others would have to deal with Kai Leng on their own, no fucking way in hell was she letting Jack Fucking Harper get away.

* * *

Bloodied, bruised, but not broken—never again broken—she fought her way through wave after wave of Cerberus troops, surviving on biotics and pure rage. She didn't know where the hell they were all coming from, or where the fuck the Alliance strike team was, but she knew one thing for sure.

 _The. Illusive. Man. Dies. Today._

Finally, she had him cornered. "Nowhere else to go? Fucking pussy." She lifted her lip in a snarl, feeling her energy flagging. It didn't matter, though. She had him. She fucking had him. But then, she felt a pinch in her neck, and the whole building turned upside down. The last thing she saw before her world went black was the Illusive Man staring down at her, impassive as he lit a cigarette.

* * *

Jack woke up, dazed and confused, restraints biting into her wrists, waist, and ankles. A sound to her left made her turn her head, and she nearly puked all over herself with the movement.

 _The fuck …?_

The Illusive Man sat in a chair about eight feet away, lit cigarette in hand, smoke creating a thick haze in the cell. Growling, she pulled uselessly against the restraints. She reached for her biotics, finding … nothing. Shock took her like a punch to the gut, ice water to the face, leaving her terrified for the first time in a long, long time.

"Welcome home, Subject Zero." The Illusive Man stood, turning on his heel and crossed the floor to bang on a reinforced steel door, the sound echoing in the otherwise empty cell. The door opened, and the Illusive Man stepped out, stopping in the doorway to give orders to a man wearing a white lab coat, the Cerberus emblem standing out on the shoulder like a death omen. "Give her a couple of hours, then throw her in the pits. Let's see if she can channel her rage without her biotics."

Panic welled up inside of her, ripping the air right out of her lungs, suffocating her. She pulled at the restraints again, squirming, twisting her entire body as much as she could.

 _No. No. No, no, no. Fuck!_

"Let me the fuck out of her you sorry, piece-of-shit sonofabitch!" she yelled at the top of her lungs, refusing to let despair take over. She _would not_ go back into those pits. No fucking way in hell. She _would not_ be Cerberus' fucking monkey toy again.

* * *

 _Children …? They want me to fight children?_

"No." Jack's jaw snapped closed hard enough she thought her teeth might shatter as electricity coursed through her again. She fell to knees, fingertips digging into metal and concrete before folding under, knuckles scraping over the rough surface. The electricity stopped, leaving her gasping for breath, head hanging limply between her shoulders. She licked her lips, tasting blood in her mouth and smiled. "Bitch please, you can do better than that."

The next shock hit her twice as hard, making her head jerk back, muscles going rigid, on fire. Her entire body was on fire, her fucking brain was on fire, white hot, eyes rolling back in her head. It stopped and she collapsed, writhing on the ground, panting as she continued to twitch. The whimpers and sobs of the kids huddled together on the other side of the pit cutting through the haze. "No," she tried to say, but it just didn't come out right, her mouth and tongue refusing to cooperate. After a moment, she tried again, "Go to hell, you sonofabitch."

* * *

She paced the floor of her cell, telling herself she just needed to hold out until he came for her. Garrus would come for her.

 _Will he, though? He's on the Citadel with Shepard. He'll never leave her to come help you. He loves her more. Always will._

"He'll come," she whispered, rubbing her hand absently over her arm, cringing at the feel of cloth covering her skin.

They'd stripped her, drugged her up and stripped her down, forcing her into a fucking black, white, and orange jumpsuit. At least the shit wasn't skintight leather like Miranda's. The first few days, she took it off and laid around the cell buck-ass naked. But they only drugged her up again and shoved the damn thing back on her. The next day, she used the edge of her bunk to help her tear through the fabric, ripping the top into strips and tying them around herself, a twisted mimic of her harness. That's when they started with the electrocution shit. At first it was just what looked like a cattle prod, but then one day she woke up with a migraine from hell, those motherfucker's knocked her out and put something inside her head.

 _Garrus will come. Shit, Shepard would never forgive him if he didn't. But … what if … what if he doesn't even know what happened? What if Kai Leng killed Barbie and the rest? Nah, fuck that. He might've gotten one or two of them, but he didn't get them all. No fucking way. Not with Grunt there. But would they realize I'm still alive … do they know he kidnapped me? Would Barbie even bother to tell Garrus? Shit._

Tilting her head back to look up at the ceiling, she shook out her hands, fighting back the tears threatening to push their way out of her eyes. She sucked in a deep breath, and let it out slow, trying to find the spot inside of her where her biotic energy manifested for probably the thousandth time. Nothing.

* * *

She sat on the floor in her cell, back pressed against the wall, knees drawn up to her chest, arms pulling them in tight as she hid her face in the empty space between, hidding her tears. Rocking back and forth, she took shallow, shuddering breaths, biting back the sobs wracking her body. She wouldn't let them see her cry. Never let them see her cry.

She'd hurt one of the kids. She didn't mean to, of course, no way she meant to. It was just … they finally started attacking her, even if she wasn't attacking them … and … fuck. The Cerberus fucks wouldn't even tell her if the boy lived.

 _Garrus isn't coming._

She stopped rocking, rubbing her cheeks over her knees. "Then I'll get myself the fuck out of here." She sniffed, sucking down phlegm buildup in her sinuses and raised her head, looking around the cell. Just like the one on Pragia, it had a two-way mirror, only the one in her current cell let assholes look in on her instead of making her watch the world passing her by. Two-way mirror, chair bolted to the floor, bed bolted to the floor, and a reinforced steel door. That was it. That was what she had to work with.

Jack pushed herself to her feet, scrubbing her palm over her eyes. She spent a few minutes pacing, racking her brain to find a way to escape the cell, but she couldn't think of anything. She tried ripping the chair free from the floor, but it got her nowhere. The bed wouldn't budge either, so she banged on the mirror, yelling and screaming obscenities at whoever watched her from behind the glass.

Finally, they got tired of listening to her, and her door opened, big ass men wearing scrubs filling her doorway. "Ready for another round in the pits, Subject Zero?"

"Fuck you. Don't call me that." She snarled, curling her hands into fists and backing away from the door as the first man stepped through. Let him think she was scared of him, she didn't give a fuck, she wanted him complacent.

"Such a dirty mouth." He tsked, smirking at her as he eyed her up and down. "I got something you can do with that mouth."

"I wouldn't put my dick near her mouth, bitch would probably bite it off." The other man stepped into the room behind the first, leaving the door open behind him. "Wouldn't mind a piece of that ass, though."

"Yeah?" Jack raised an eyebrow. "Come and get it then." She popped her shoulder in a shrug. "If you think you're bad enough." She reached for her biotics, not giving up when she hit a wall of nothingness, fighting to push past it. She remembered the face of the little boy she beat the shit out of when she snapped in the pits. Remembered the faces of all the kids she plowed her way through the first time she escaped a Cerberus facility. Remembered all the shit Cerberus did to her, pulling it all into an angry, snarling ball of hate and used it to smash straight through the wall.

Just as the two sick fucks were closing in on her, biotic flames sprang to life around her body, filling her with an euphoric rush. The shock and fear in the two assholes' eyes was orgasmic. Throwing out a Shockwave, she rushed forward, fists flying.

* * *

Alarms blared throughout the facility, a long line of corpses trailing behind her. She located a weapons locker, finding her shit inside. "Fuck yeah."

She closed the door to the room, leaving it open a crack to make sure it didn't lock, and stripped out of the torn jumpsuit as fast as she could. Pulling on her pants, she strained to listen beyond the sound of alarms. Strapping her harness back on, she moved to the door, peering out through the crack. The halls were still empty, but it was only a matter of time before more Cerberus bastards moved in on her. Balancing on one foot, she slipped on a boot and then closed the lowest buckles and the top buckle, leaving the ones in between loose to save time. As soon as she got her other boot secure, she grabbed her guns, holstering her shotgun and checking the heat sink on her heavy pistol, activating her Warp ammo and grinned.

 _Time to get the fuck out of here._

Moving back to the door, she pressed against the cool metal, looking both ways before stepping out of the storage room and over a dead Cerberus fuck. She almost made it to the end of the hall before the sound of armored boots clanking against the floor echoed down the hall, moving towards her. She grit her teeth, thinking of all the times Shepard yelled at her in battle, telling her to keep her ass behind cover. Glancing around, she spotted a planter a little ways back the direction she came from. Letting out a frustrated growl, she turned and ran down the hall, sliding behind the planter just as the first bullets started flying.

She ducked out of cover, sending a Shockwave out as soon as they got close enough, but it didn't do a whole lot of good against full armor. Still, it made the two commandos up front stumble back, and gave her a chance to fire off a few shots.

"Shit! Where'd she get a gun?"

Jack grinned, ducking back behind the planter, waiting for her amp to cool down while bullets peppered the back of her cover. Pulling more biotic energy into her hands—fuck it felt good—she turned out, flinging them from her body to pick up one of the commandos in a Pull. She lifted her gun, firing off three more shots before pressing her back against the cover. She listened, hearing the man drop to the ground with a thump, and peered past the edge of the planter. He didn't get back up again.

She smirked, pulling more biotics up and sent them flying.

* * *

Jack saw the exit, it was right fucking there, so why the _fuck_ was she hesitating? She'd taken a couple of hits, but patched herself up with Medi-gel. She was starting to taste the burned, metallic tang of an overheating amp on her tongue when she used her biotics, letting her know she really needed to rest some place and get something to eat, let herself recharge. She'd run out of ammo twice and had to switch to her shotgun until she could harvest more off of the corpses she left in her wake. The exist was right in front of her, she was more than ready to get the fuck out of the place. She _needed_ to get the fuck out … but she kept thinking about those kids.

"Goddamn you, Shepard." She growled, turning down the hall on her left instead. "Made me fucking soft. Shit."

She ran, flinging biotics at any researcher—or whatever the fuck the lab coat wearing assholes were—lucky enough to still be alive and yet stupid enough to get in her way. She knew she'd find the children housed close to the pits, and she was pretty sure she knew how to get back there.

* * *

"Fuck!" Jack flared, biotics licking around her as she dragged herself up from the floor, already feeling the bruises forming, pretty sure she'd cracked a rib or two, maybe fractured her wrist. "I'm trying to help you, you little shit!"

Seven girls, cowering in the corner of their dormitory, looked at her from between the slats on a bunk bed. An eighth girl stood out in the middle of the floor, blue-white biotic energy surrounding her. The little bitch used a Slam on Jack the second she stepped through the door, tossing her up in the air to hit the ceiling before ramming her back down into the floor. She'd barely gotten her biotics up around her in enough time to buffer some of the damage.

"Right," the ringleader said, lifting her lip in a sneer that might've, under different circumstances, made Jack actually like her a little. "Like you helped Matt."

 _Matt. The kid's name is Matt._

Jack growled. "I don't have time for this shit. Do you want to get the fuck out of here or not?"

"You can't get out of here." The kid had balls, Jack would give her that. She stared Jack down, defiance written all over her face. "No one ever gets out of here. They'll kill you if you try."

"Yeah, well, I've already killed most of _them_ , and I'm still standing." Jack waved her left hand back towards the exit, the twinge of pain in her wrist only pissing her off worse. "Now come the fuck on, we've got to move."

The girl glanced over her shoulder at the other's hiding behind the bed before looking back at Jack, staring at the gun in Jack's hand. "What about the boys?"

Jack let out a frustrated sigh and rolled her eyes. "We'll get them, too."

"What about Matt?" the girl asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Where is he?" Jack licked her lips, something in her loosening a little, taking the girls question to mean the kid was still alive.

"In the hospital room," the girl said.

Fighting back the urge to grab the kid by her shirt and shake her until she just fucking go to the goddamn point, Jac asked, "Where's that?"

The girl hesitated before saying, "I can show you."

"Well then why the hell are we still talking?" Jack turned toward the doors before glancing back at the girls creeping out from behind the bunk. "Stay close to me, and if I tell you to do something, you'd better fucking do it if you want out of here alive."

* * *

They'd managed to make it to boy's dormitory two halls over, and Jack coaxed the six boys out into the halls with the rest of them without any trouble. They were on their way to the 'hospital room' to get Matt when more Cerberus assholes showed up, taking shots at Jack _and_ the kids. She expected the little shits to freak the fuck out and run, but they didn't. They listened to her when she told them to duck down behind the nurses' station or whatever the fuck it was.

Jamie, the little chick with the attitude, didn't stay down, though. Jack kept seeing biotics flying past her, picking commandos up with a Slam. She couldn't really complain, the kid was helping, no doubt. Just so long as Jamie didn't get stupid and get shot. Jack didn't have time to fucking babysit.

When the hall was clear again, Jack waved the kids forward. Jamie moved up next to Jack, pointing to one room in particular. Swallowing, dread creeping through her veins, Jack made her way to the door and opened her omni-tool to hack through the lock. She pressed her back to the door frame, waving the kids back against the walls, before hitting the door's release control. The door slid open, and she peered around the edge, something inside of her breaking when her gaze found Matt, unconscious on a bed. The kid was black and blue, face so swollen she barely recognized him as the—maybe twelve-year-old—who she'd finally lost it on in the pits.

A nurse, judging by her uniform and scared-shitless look, stood behind a desk, hands held up in surrender. "Subject Zero, please."

Jack raised her gun, pointing it at the woman wearing Cerberus colors. "Dont. Fucking. Call. Me. That."

"Her name is Jack," Jamie said, crossing her arms.

"Jack! Jack, I'm sorry!" The nurse licked her lips. "Please, please don't kill me. I can … I can help you get out of here. I know where the shuttles are, I have access codes … just please."

Jack narrowed her eyes, everything inside of her telling her to just shoot the bitch and be done with it, but her gaze slid back to Matt. "Is he going to be alright?"

"There's someone coming!" one of the boys whispered, terror filling his voice.

"Shit." Jack glanced over her shoulder. "Get inside, all of you! Get down, over there, behind those crates." She glared at the woman behind the desk. "You, get the fuck down and shut up. And stay the hell away from those kids. I'll tear you to shreds if you go _near_ them."

She took cover next to the door frame and looked out into the hall, spotting six or seven commandos moving in on her position, and she thought more might be coming. One spotted her, and she fired at him, her shot doing dick against his armor. Then, suddenly, half the squad stopped and turned around, something around the corner catching their attention. They raised their weapons, firing back the way they came. Her heart slammed against her ribs, a hopeful voice in the back of her head yelling Garrus' name.

She watched as a perfectly placed headshot dropped a commando, a grin spreading across her face. "Fuck yeah."

Biotics lifted another commando off his feet, tossing him out of view with a Throw. A Singularity sprung to life, dragging in the wounded standing nearby. Jack threw out a Shockwave, knocking back the Cerberus fucks trying to retreat further down the hall and started shooting. The first familiar face to come into view wasn't Garrus, but a rainbow-hued drell.

"Feron?" she said, but her voice didn't carry over the sounds of gunfire.

She fired a few more rounds, dropping a commando, drawing Feron's attention. The drell took one look at her face before smiling and turning back to say something to someone behind him. A moment later, Garrus tore through the hall, assault rifle leveling everything in his way, stealing ground from Cerberus. Thane, hot on his heels, rounded the corner, flinging commandos around with his biotics. An asari Jack didn't recognize pushed forward, taking up position next to Garrus.

As soon as the fighting stopped, Garrus turned, holstering his gun and taking off his helmet. "Jack." His shoulders sagged, and for a moment, she thought he might just fall over completely, he looked so exhausted.

She stepped out into the hall, holstering her heavy pistol. "You're late," she said, a smirk lifting the corner of her mouth.

He chuffed, moving down the hall to her, arms outstretched before he'd made it halfway. She glanced back into the room, finding the nurse still huddled behind her desk and the kids behind the crates. She saw Matt, and shame washed over her. She didn't want Garrus to see what she'd done. Didn't want anyone to see what she'd done.

Garrus stopped a few feet away, arms dropping to the sides. "Jack … you're hurt." He growled, looking over her battered flesh as he slowly moved closer. Reaching out, he gently turned her chin, giving him a view of the side of her head. "What did they do?" he asked, looking at the fresh, still tender scar cutting through her scalp.

She jerked her chin free. "It doesn't matter … there's kids in here who need help. One of them's … one of them's hurt, bad."

Garrus glanced past her into the med bay and flared his mandibles. Thane and the asari moved past him, Thane dipping his head to Jack as he made his way into the room.

"Jack. What happened?" Garrus asked again, reaching for her.

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it."

He hummed, reaching out to press his palm to her cheek, and the goddamn tears started flowing. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her in against his chest.

"Jack?"

She turned to look at the kid calling her name, wiping her eyes. Jamie stood in front of the others, biotics surrounding her as she looked over the asari and Thane, keeping them from getting near Matt.

She smirked at the girl's spirit. "It's alright, kid. They're here to help. You're safe now."


End file.
